the protector of ponies and ponyville

Like a good book a good friend will last forever-twilight sparkle

i remember twilight sparkle saying that it was her fore word in a book i read once "hmm those where the days" i thought to my self walking to no where or some where i don't know, i was bored so i took out my ihoof, (huh?) with songs from other universes on it i like earths playlist better than any other mostly because i could understand it, plug'd in my headphones put them on and started listening to one of my favourite songs "system of a down" here's the linksystem of a down any way i walked upon a small town i had been told about from a cyan pegasi i never got her name oh well i looked to the sun, i could make it to ponyville and get a house in time for luna's most wonderful night i don't know why but i like the night more than anything else oh well, my plan's changed when i heard a plea for help i reached into my saddlebags for my leg sword attachment it went out and in just fine so i put it on my hoof and pulled it up running to the plea for help "you depend on our protection!" i mutter'd under my breath, the plea got louder and the woods got thick here so i flew over them dropping softly in the clearing where the plea had come from i heard it again sounds like somepony disturbed the timber wolf's i started running again when i came to the clearing i slowly slide out my sword i was not counting on a rapping session i tapped it on the ground making it go ting!, the two male pony's stopped the rape for two seconds maybe clearly not noticing me i made my voice sound deep and threatening as i could, "i would stop if i where you before things get messy" the stallions snorted one even made a crude comeback "yeah messy with cum!" they both laughed, i took a second to look at the mare orange hair and tail,three carrots for a cutie mark,green iris and white cum on her body, hmm you know i think i like her "alright you asked for it!" i jumped out of my hiding i took off my glasses and set them aside showing the stallions my black eye's i had no iris no pupil e_o i always thought on how i could see but i left it alone for now, i could see the horror in there eyes i let my sword drop from its holding spot it hit the ground i started walking towards them and started singing

"One Two this alicorns

coming for you

Three Four go home

and lock your doors tight

Five Six grab celestia's chrusafix

Seven Eight hide under luna's night

Nine Ten never sleep again

the stallions stared horrified they turned and ran high tailing it out of the clearing i turned to the mare she was tied up of course she was! i picked up my glasses and put them back on i walked up to the mare untied her and said "who where they?" i asked she stared at me more than likely at my broken horn than me i waved my hoof in front of her "hello?" i said she seemed to have snapped out of it she looked at me or the horn! i pulled some tissues out and started cleaning her coat of spunk, "so who where they?" i repeated my question she looked at me some more then spoke "i don't know they just broke in and took me here" she said i made the 'hmm' sound still cleaning her coat "okay so who are you?" i asked looking at her "i'm carrot top i run the carrot farm in ponyville!" she said (i think) full of pride "okay hey it sounds like you could use some help but i need more information if i'm going to help you" i said she looked at me eye's gleaming "yes i do need help but no pony ever asked if i needed it your the first" carrot top said eye's full of hope "alright so here's the deal i protect you and ponyville in exchange you give me a roof over my head deal?" i asked she looked at me then to the ground she made the 'hmm' sound considering it she looked to me "Okay you've got a deal!" she yelled at me i stood up shocked at the outburst she took it as an invite to jump on to my back i was locked up good thing we where about to fly cuz i had a wing boner! i picked my stuff up but it back in the bags and i pulled out the ihoof again playing the second track "Urban Assault-drop the bass" i lifted us off the ground and told her to hang on super hard i got a good 40 feet - 50 feet in the air then said "HANG ON!" she hung on super duper tight i took a deep breath then shot off leaving a streak of blue and white behind me i started to slow down as i saw the cyan mare that told me about ponyville coming strait down on top of an old barn "FUCK!  Hold On Tighter!!!" i yelled she griped my neck so hard i couldn't breath "to tight!" i yelled she let up a little bit i could breath! yay! anyways i poured on more speed a cone started forming around me and carrot top i shot strait through the barn just before the rainbow nuke went off then all i heard was a loud BOOM!! behind me, three colors where out streaking orange,blue, and white i slowed down i heard carrot top yell "There right below you is my house!" i nodded coming to a stop and landing we walked up to the house and enter'd.