Chapters "HEY! RAINBOW DASH! COME DOWN HERE, YOU SILLY FILLY!"
Rainbow Dash woke with a start and hit her head on the topmost tree branch in the process. "What in the Wide World of Sports do you want?" she asked, rubbing a new welt on her cyan head.
Below he,r Pinkie Pie was shaking the tree her friend was napping in violently. Her hooves were a pink blur and her face was slightly red from the effort of shaking so vigorously. "Wakeupwakeupwakeupwakeup!" she roared, steam beginning to come out of her ears.
The pegasus squealed and leaped from the tree just as Pinkie's force pushed it over. The tree fell with a loud thud, digging itself into the ground, her pillows went flying, and Rainbow dashed around trying to catch them all before they landed. Once she accomplished just that (covered with a bit of dirt in the process), she set them carefully by the fallen tree and turned to her hyperactive earth pony friend. "Once again, what do you need, Pinkie? I was in the middle of some serious business." Rainbow Dash huffed.
Pinkie Pie giggled and bounced about in circles. "Silly Dashie! You were sleeping, not working!"
Rainbow Dash gasped and turned her head in disgust. "I was not sleeping! I was working on resting my eyes! It's hard on them to look at this -" she pointed at her body- "all day!"
The party pony snorted playfully and tugged on the rainbow-maned pegasus' tail. "Come on buddy, we're wasting time standing around like slugs! We've got a date!"
Rainbow's mouth hit the ground. "What?! A date!? Pinkie Pie, I like you and all, but-"
The earth pony narrowed her eyes and frowned. "Not that kind of date, silly! A date with DESTINY, of course!"
"And where is our 'date'?"
"We're going to Vinyl Scratch's night club! She just got a new machine she calls the "Dance Dance Revolution! And we're gonna be the first ponies to try it!"
The pegasus closed her mouth and reluctantly loosened her grip on the ground. Pinkie began pulling her (by her tail) once more. "Why me- I mean, why us? Why not Twilight? She's an awesome dancer."
Pinkie moved into a steady jog and easily moved Rainbow Dash along fairly quickly. "Yeah, she wanted to do it, but she said that she-"
"Had studies for the princess? Been there, done that. No suprise, really."
The magenta mare shook her head, causing Rainbow Dash to swerve around and hit a tree in the process. "No no no, she's coming! But she said that she wanted to upload us to HoofTube, so she's recording us instead! We're gonna be internet celebreties, Dashie! The topic of millions of HoofTube Poops and spoofs for years to come! Someday our grandfillies and colts'll watch us and say 'I'm so proud of my great-great-great-great-great grandma for getting infinity hits on HoofTube!'"
Rainbow Dash's eyes bugged out of her head and she flapped her wings, trying to get away in vain. Pinkie's jaws were as hard as stone, though, and she didn't move an inch. "HoofTube!?" she exclaimed. "No way, Pinkie! Never! I actually have a life, you know! And some stupid video of me and you dancing our flanks off is not going to help it!"
Pinkie Pie groaned and looked up at the sky- it was getting late, and Vinyl Scratch would be anxiously pacing around waiting for them. That pony didn't have the longest temper- in fact, once she spilled a drop of punch on her turntable and the unicorn went ballistic.
Thinking she had no choice, Pinkie Pie yanked Rainbow's tail and pulled her cyan body closer to her pink one. In a single, swift motion, the suave mare had forcefully kissed Rainbow Dash, full on the lips, and held them there in a long embrace. Rainbow Dash squeaked and tried to break free, but ultimately her lips got the better of her and her wings unfolded in a glorious wingboner. The rainbow pegasus promptly fainted, still in Pinkie's hooves.
She woke up in a cramped room filled with flourescent lights and techno music booming in her ears. It could only mean one thing-
"Yay! She's awake, everypony!"
Pinkie Pie hopped out from behind Vinyl Scratch's huge turntable and hopped over to her friend. Out from behind many queer spots, including the Fillie's Room, a recycling bin (What? DJ's can't be green?), and even a glass of some type of clear beverage came the hiding ponies. Almost the entire town was there- Mayor Mare, Derpy Hooves- and even some ponies from out of town as far as Canterlot. From a blast of white light came none other than the princesses, wings spread in their full glory.
Everypony bowed to them, including Rainbow Dash. The Solar princess came forward first, clearly displeased. She huffed and folded up her great white sails, then began to laugh psychodically. "You Ponyville citizens really need to loosen up!" she crowed, asking for a drink and taking a seat at an empty table. Luna came forward next, looking slightly unsure of what the buck was going on. She raised a hoof in confusion. "Are thoust supposed to take part in- how do thy subjects pronounce it- 'fun'?" she asked quizically. Celestia mumbled "yes" and frothy bubbles licked at her cheeks, so the Lunar princess sat in a seat across from her sister and commanded to be given the same drink as Celestia.
Rainbow Dash couldn't breath and she thought she might faint again. The princesses were here? To watch her and Pinkie battle it out on the dance floor?
Suddenly an orange flash appeared by her side and she looked down in suprise only to see Scootaloo, with a thifck leather collar around her neck. The filly bounced in her hooves and her eyes were huge, a smile as big as herself trying to fit itself on her face. "Hi Rainbow Dash!" she exclaimed in delight. "Twilight gave me this super-special collar that has a little camera built into it so I can record you and Pinkie up-close!" The Crusader then bounced off towards Twilight Sparkle, who was holding a much larger camera with her unicorn magic, and waved at her idol from afar.
The pegasus felt her heart make its way up her throat. She could already picture it- she, passed out on the floor from exaustion, and Pinkie Pie wearing her faithful sweatband and hoofbands-
The pony in question jumped onto the princesses' table and held her magenta hooves high. "Attention, everypony! The dancing is starting!" She clumsily climbed off of the table, getting a worried look from Luna as her newly-arrived drink swayed to and fro.
"Did a pink pigmented pony just jumpeth upon our divine table?" Her sister nodded and took a sip of her beverage.
Vinyl Scratch nodded at the pink pony and with a flick of her horn the loud electro music was silenced, and the only sound was the pounding of hooves rushing over to see the epic battle between earth pony and pegasus.
Soon everypony was gathered around the strange contraption, and Vinyl Scratch stepped up and with her telekinesis pulled out two long boards from the machine, both decorated with arrows at the top left, right, and bottom left and right on the shining metal. From two more boards at the top came a LCD screen that glowed with the words "Dance Dance Revolution" and said "Press Start" at the bottom. The DJ pressed a small button on the front of the device, and the screen turned into a menu with options for Workout, Multiplayer, Single Player, and Practice. Vinyl got on one board and spread her hooves to cover all the arrows, then pressed a number of the arrows to get to and select Multiplayer mode. The next screen was preloaded with modes, in which the unicorn asked each competitor what they preferred.
"Super-Duper-Extra-Amazingly-Hard mode, please!" Pinkie quipped.
"Newbie, please." Rainbow Dash murmured.
The DJ chose Super-Duper-Extra-Amazingly-Hard mode, much to Rainbow's dismay. She went on to the song selection screen, in which she turned back to the friends for input.
Pinkie Pie hopped on the other board and went through the list until she got to one song in particular, which read Got My Pony Spam for you by lapfoxofficial. "This one!" She pronounced. Rainbow Dash looked at the difficulty- with extremely difficult on it read "You Won't Feel Your Hooves After This Song."
"Nu-uh." She shook her head and pushed Pinkie off the board. She moved through the songs until she got to one that caught her eye- Pony Swag by Viraus2. "No, this one." The difficulty read "You May Have Trouble Getting Up In the Morning."
Pinkie Pie looked ready to argue, but Vinyl Scratch put herself between the two mares before she could get a word out. "Wait a minute, I'm not getting blood on my freshly cleaned floor just yet. How 'bout a compromise- Pinkie's choice first, then Dashie's? If there's a tie, I'll choose."
Reluctantly the two nodded.
The unicorn let the duo get on their own boards and selected the song for them. The loading screen came up and the adrenaline levels immediately flew off the charts. Rainbow Dash lowered herself to the bottom of the board, hoping it would all be over soon. She already had sweat on her brow. Pinkie Pie, next to her, somehow had gotten her trusty sweat and hoofbands on and was jogging in place.
Behind her Rainbow could hear her friends cheering her on- although they might have been cheering for her opponent at the same time. Applejack shouted "Ya can do this, suagrcube!" at Pinkie, and the pink mare nodded whilst still jogging. The princesses had gotten up as well, and had taken sides. Luna had her wings flared next to Rainbow Dash's cowering body- Celestia stood tall by Pinkie Pie's side.
"Have thou misplaced thoust crainium?" Luna sneered. "Rainbow Dash is much superior in the althetic field than Pinkamena!"
Celestia snorted. "Athetic she may be, that doesn't mean that Pinkie Pie here doesn't have a fighting chance."
"Are thou getting defensive, dear sister?" Luna cooed viciously.
The princess of the sun growled and stopped the argument before it got out of control. But in both their minds, they were thinking of ways their side would truely be victorious.
Finally the computerized voice began speaking to the assembled ponies. "Ready..."
Pinkie Pie got into a crouching position, as did Rainbow Dash.
"Set..."
Rainbow held her breath and prepared to dance like she never had or will. Pinkie Pie smiled and her muscles visibly tensed benath her magenta skin.
Silence.
Complete silence was held in the club as everypony held their breath in wait for an epic explosion of dance. They were all leaning forward in anxiety. The princesses were staring at the screen as if they could use their divine powers to get the song to begin. Scootaloo was positioned below the board, camera at the ready while Twilight Sparkle hung back by the others.
Rainbow Dash felt like she was going to explode if the stupid song didn't start.
"Dance!"
Everypony was thrown backwards at the sudden explosion of sound and dance, including the princesses. They were pushed backwards slightly by the gust of wind that came from the competing ponies hooves. Luna gasped and grasped the metal pole with her hooves for dear life, whilst the bright light from the screen made her squint. "May we stoppeth the scorching of my eyelids?" She cried. Celestia smiled and put on sunglasses.
Behind them Scootaloo was thrust backward as well, but she fared worse because of her small size. The filly dramatically made an effort to put one hoof in front the other, and after a long trip she reclaimed her spot by the boards- holding on the the pole this time, out course.
Pinkie Pie's legs were a faint pink blur, her blue irises glued to the screen and using excellent hoof-eye coordination. She got an "AWESOME" on every arrow she hit, which was all of them. After getting used to the extreme rhythm the pink mare dared to glance at her cyan foe, somehow still hitting all the notes. Her sweatband was covered with a thick coating of clear sweat, but her face didn't show any sign of being tired. "Can't find your hooves today, Dashie?" She teased.
Rainbow Dash simply grunted and tried to speed up. She was hitting about every twentieth arrow (which popped up about every five seconds), and was having a much harder time getting into the rhythm of the song. "Oh, you're gonnna get it, Pinkie!" She tried to speed up, but her score on the screen responded by her number dropping into the negetive digits. Rainbow Dash cursed under her breath as she sighted Pinkie's score- the machine had stopped counting and in its place was the infinity sign.
She needed to win this- not just for herself, or to save her dwindling dignity- she wanted to see Pinkie Pie's ace when she beat the party pony by a landslide.
In a feeble attempt to beat the pink part pony Rainbow Dash decided to go slower, not faster, and wait out each arrow until it was the last second to hit it. Suprisingly, her score began to climb (Okay, it climbed slower than molasses going uphill on a mountain in a snowstorm while pushing a wagon, but it was moving.) and after a long while the pegasus got out of the dreaded negetive zone. Pinkie noticed this too, and her face slightly tensed and she went a hair faster. Rainbow Dash, now fully confident, sped up as well. Her hooves became a cyan cloud after much effort and her score soared into the millions. She made her first mistake by getting cocky and trying to look at her friend whilst still playing. The weather pony's numbers faultered slightly, raising some eyes, but she found her footing fairly quickly and sneered at her magenta buddy.
"Who's loosing their hooves now, Pinkie?" She laughed. Her score was quickly approaching Pinkie's.
The pink earth pony gasped slightly, but kept her cool attitude and sped up once more.
Behind them the crowd cheered and chanted on the two ponies battling it out on the virtual dancefloor. Celestia and Luna were back to arguing and bickering about the side they were supporting.
"Have thou filly lost thou footing?" Luna cackled. She narrowed her dark eyes menacingly.
Celestia looked over her hipster shades and raised an eyebrow. "I can't say Rainbow is the best dancer in Equestria, dear sister." She replied coolly. The edges of her mouth turned up at her sister's enraged reaction and the princess of the sun magically moved her sunglasses upwards.
Even farther behind the quarreling princesses were Twilight Sparkle and Rarity, along with Applejack and the timid Fluttershy. The latter was quite frightened by the flashing lights, the loud music, and the occasional rough encouragement of others through violent yelling. The others wern't as fazed, but still acknowledged it.
"Umm... Can I wait outside?" The yellow pegasus asked. She shivered in her seat as a drunken pony decided it was a good idea to smash a glass bottle of Pony-Cola.
Rarity gently nudged her friend and shushed her slightly. "Sorry, dear," she managed to make her voice clear over all the others, "but we must cheer on our friends. GO PINKIE PIE! WAHOO!" Rarity somehow tore off the formal dress she was wearing to reveal a plain white shirt with the words "GO PINKIE" and a picture of the earth pony in question winking upon it. Fluttershy squealed as another smash sounded, this one from their own compadre Applejack.
"Wowee, they sure goin' fast!" The farm pony had gotten tired of the insane noise and decided to indulge herself in the only way possible- alcohol, and quite a bit of it. A large bottle of Applejack Daniels was in her hoof, and the shattered remains of one lay on the floor. "They be notin' but ah' pinkish an' blueish blur-a-whatcha-call-it!" She almost fell but caught herself on the chair.
Fluttershy cried out and ran to her side. "Applejack, what in Equestria has gotten into you?"
Applejack snapped to attention. "No, Flutterpie, I ain't gotta spee-cial cue! I ain't gotta poo either!"
The charming pegasus shooker her head rapidly. "Applejack, you must stop your behaviour! We're in a public place, remember?"
"Wha? Twent-ey? Wha ya want stalks? Beans or celery? " She looked at Fluttershy as if she had lost her marbles.
Fluttershy rage-quit in her sweet way and walked away without another word.
Twilight, on the other hoof, stood erect and at attention facing the dancing ponies. She kept her body still as not to shake the camera too badly. Using her telekinesis the unicorn manually zoomed in on the duo's steadily bobbing flanks. Twilight Sparkle looked through the lens to make sure she had it at the "sweet spot", as she called it, positioned exactly so she could see both ponies' flanks perfectly.
She looked up, satisfied. "Perfect." She whispered, a devilish look on her face.
The song was coming to an end (Much to Rainbow Dash's disappointment), and slowly the tempo slowed and finally stopped. The cyan pegasus collapsed, despite her worthwhile effort that hardly made a dent in her smug face, and panting heavily, watched the screen as it faded first into darkness, then burst into a colorful screen that showed their results. On coordinating sides were their grades, and below that was the overall counts of how many "Horrible", "Amazing," ect. they got.
Rainbow Dash immediately looked at Pinkie Pie's results first. The pink pony got an A+++++++++, if that was even possible, and had all "Awesomes"- except for five "Horribles", probably from the moment Rainbow Dash looked up and her. Other than that, Pinkie Pie was a perfect dancer.
Then she dared to look at her own grade, than heaved a huge sigh of relief when she saw a huge A+++++++++ in her box. She looked down at the counts, and wasn't suprised to see about three hundred "Horribles" and a string of a thousand "Awesomes."
The final scroes were calculated via the machine's mind and they appeared in an explosion below the grades. Rainbow Dash held her breath.
Below her name was an infinity sign.
"YES!" The pegasus bounced up and down on her board, and the motion made the entire machine rock and creak. "YESYESYES!"
Some random pony came up from behind her and gave her a good wallop. "You didn't see the pink one's score, little miss too-high-on-her-pedestal!" Rainbow Dash growled at the pony and turned back to Pinkie's score, which had just popped up on the screen. She then gasped, and promptly began to faint once more. Luna caught her quickly and began to lift up the poor pegasus. "Have faith, thou pegasus of rainbow and light cyan, we shall surely be victorious in our next hurrah!" She patted the pegaus gently, then with an earth pony's force heaved her back into position. Rainbow Dash was scared to see Pinkie's score.
The pink pony laughed, but instead of her normal, silly one it was dark and cruel, smug even. She grasped Rainbow Dash's cheeks and put her face in the cyan pony's one. "What's wrong, Dashie?" She giggled. "Too cocky to know ol' Pinkie's score?"
She thrust Rainbow's face to the screen, to be more specific to Pinkie's portion, to be even more so her score. Rainbow Dash went slack in her grip.
It read an infinity sign.
+1.
WARNING:
This chapter contains drunk Applejack, breaking of bottles and a lot of plots. And by a lot, I mean A LOT. Don't like plots? Don't read.
"What do you think of that, Dashie?" Pinkie smirked. From behind her Celestia grasped her hoof in a coach outfit and lifted it for all to see. "We have a winner!" She announced in a southern accent. The gathered ponies cheered and wailed for the victorious pink pony, not even looking at the poor pegasus. The latter hung her head and put on her best pout face, her cyan feathers drooping heavily.
Luna came up behind her protege and puffed out her royal chest. "HAVE NO FEAR, MY FEARLESS COMPANION, WE SHALL SURELY BE VICTORIOUS IN THE COMING SPONTANEOUS DANCE NUMBER! " She proclaimed in her amazing Canterlot Voice. Everypony in the crowd yelled as their ears flattened at the loud noise, and being so close to the princess Rainbow Dash felt her own ears pop and deafen.
The Lunar princess smiled at her motivational speech and gladly stepped back with a smug look on her face. It was directed at her sister, so she returned the favor with a smug look of her own.
"Well, dear sister, Pinkie Pie here has won. What is my reward?" Celestia asked, standing over her partner.
Luna seemed taken aback by this and shook her head wildly. "No no no, you, dear sister, have got this propaganda in the wrong order! For Rainbow Dash has not done a form of dance for her own choice of music!" She retorted from the peanut gallery.
Vinyl Scratch put herself between the bickering leaders. "Calm your horns, ladies! We'll settle this like sophisticated ponies, not neanderthals!" She huffed angrily and closed her eyes momentarily, sitting down on her striped tail. Even the princess' were silent at the DJ's words. Then her eyes popped open once more and in a flash she had a long-necked bottle of vodka and was upon the dancing machine.
"We'll solve it with MOAR DANCING!" She cawed, rapidly going to Rainbow's selection while simultaneously taking a large swig of crystal-clear liquid. She bucked the select button with her hoof, keeping a firm grip on the bottle, then hopping away while the two friends wheeled from her sudden appearance. The mechanical voice started once more, now familiar to the assembled ponies.
"Ready..."
Way back in the crowd there was a happy yell and the dull thump of glass on a table. "Yeehaw! Go Pinka-whatsit!" Applejack swooned, still too dizzy to realize hat the next song was beginning. Applejack Daniels was smeared across her lips and her green eyes were incredibly derped.
Rarity rammed into the earth pony with amazing force and knocked the drunken Applejack to the ground, where she rolled about happily in the drops which didn't make it into her mouth. "Quiet, drunkard!" Rarity screeched. "You're gonna mess up Pinkie!" With this she added a loud "WOO GO PINKIE PIE YOU GOT THIS GIRL!" Behind her Fluttershy squealed, and, very tired of the loud noises and clashing of voices the pegasus fled out the door. "Tell me when all the others leave!" She shouted as she exited. Twilight didn't take her eyes off the duo's shaking flanks that shuddered with every nervous breath they took. "Don't let the door hit your flank on the way out!" The unicorn added.
"Set..."
Rainbow Dash could hear her friends squabbling in the background. "Yeah, real supportive, guys!" The cyan pegasus tried to get herself heard over the growing volume of the crowd.
Pinkie Pie, beside her, had swapped out her former sweatband for a new one, of a magenta and purple color combination. Celestia was behind her with a moist towelette in one telekinetic grip and Pinkie's soiled sweatband in the other. She was steadily wiping the towel around the earth pony's cheeks, flanks, and ears. "Now listen here, pipsqueak," she coached, "you can do this. That pile of Skittles over there ain't got a chance against your awesome moves." She magically conjured up a water bottle full of sugar water and dipped the straw into her athlete's mouth. Pinkie Pie caught her foe's glance and winked, sucking up the water like nopony's business.
Rainbow Dash had become accustomed to the familiar silence that came before the command to dance. "This is your time to shine, Dashie." She murmured. She unfolded her wings and readied her muscles.
"Dance!"
The song started out slow, and Rainbow Dash had no problem getting into the smooth, silky rhythm and letting it cover her hooves like sleek sheets. Her hooves were swift, and she had no difficulty looking at Pinkie Pie from across the board. The pink mare was more accustomed to fast-paced songs with rough lyrics that whizzed by as quick as a Sonic Rainboom- she was struggling to keep her head above water and often getting "Horribles" on her side of the screen. "Gaah!" She cried out as her score dropped to a pitiful 10.
Celestia held tight to the pole and the veins on her neck were popping out. "Don't let the score derail you, Pinkie!" She shouted.
Pinkie Pie's score dropped five points. "Yeah, you're a lot of help Celestia!" She growled.
The Solar princess winced. "At least I'm trying!" She pointed a hoof at her sister, who was cheering beside Rainbow's side. "Huzzah, we are victorious!" She bounced happily.
Then the song began to speed up as it entered the rap area of said song. It sped up slightly, and on each of the rap parts in question were accented with arrows. Rainbow Dash, still "in the zone", hit them all without breaking a sweat. Next to her Pinkie Pie picked up speed slightly, thanks to the arrow increase, but still was a ways to go from her feathered friend. As of about a minute into the song Rainbow Dash stood tall at a mighty 1,001, and Pinkie steadily climbed the mountain that was the scoreboard at a good 500.
In the background ponies began to sing the song, about half of them getting a little more than one third of the lyrics right. Applejack and picked herself up and wrapped a hoof around Rarity's shoulder, who glady accepted having drank a couple of martinis herself. "Ponies ponies ponies SWAG!" Applejack swooned, her breath hot and stinking of apples. Rarity let out a delicate laugh and joined in, along with Derpy who appeared out of nowhere. The three sung their little hearts out, getting a few mad yells from other ponies.
Twilight, on the other hoof, still stood with her faithful camera aimed at the plots of Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie. "Work with me, honey, work with me!" She cooed, zooming in on each of their sweating, shaking plots. "Beautiful, darling, wunderbar! Zis is magics, darlings!" She mimiced Photo Finish in her happiness at all the juicy footage she was getting. "Soo going on my blog."
Scootaloo, positioned below the two, shook with excitement. "Soo awesome!" She squealed.
Rainbow Dash smiled and kept getting "Awesomes" on every arrow she hit- which was all of them. Beside her Pinkie Pie struggled slightly, getting every once in a while a string of "Awesomes" that ended with a climax of "Horribles."
Behind her, Luna still served as Rainbow's sole cheerleader, donning a cheerleader uniform and pom-poms decked out in rainbows. "Give thou a D! Give thou an A! Give thou a S! Give thou a H! What does thou spellith? Dash!" She yelled. Her alicorn sister sighed and shook her head at Luna's unforgettable dance routine that followed.
There was no doubt in her mind- Rainbow Dash was going to win. She was too light on her hooves, too sucked into the song not to. Her pink friend was slwoly gaining speed on her and nipping at her heels, but not even karma could ruin her chances. The cocky pegasus decided to turn down the accuracy and yank on the skill, showing the crowd what she was really made of. She slowly began to unfurl her cyan wings.
Pinkie Pie saw her friend out of the corner of her eye and couldn't help but look over to see what the buck she was doing. "What in the name of Equestria are you doing, Dashie?" She asked as Rainbow unfolded the last few feathers on her wings. The pony in question looked up from the screen and winked. "Just a little razzle-dazzle for the crowd, Pinkie." She crowed, beginning to- flap her wings?
She was flapping her now open wings, first as if swimming through molasses but building up to the speed she would achieve as if she were really flying. Suprisingly she didn't fly into a wall or the machine, but the ponies behind her greatly appreciated the amazing wind she was making. Rainbow Dash narrowed her eyes and focused all her energy on her wings and flapped faster.
"Wowee, look at that pega-whatsit go!" Applejack commented. Rarity cocked her head and wiped the top of her forehead with the tip of her Pinkie shirt. "Oh my, so much plot!" She mused. Twilight let out a happy squee and zoomed in on Pinkie Pie's hardworking flank slightly, then on Rainbow's winged one. "Oh-la-la!" The unicorn swooned, practically falling over from how much amazing footage she would have.
Scootaloo was having the same success as Twilight Sparkle, her head resting on the very top of Rainbow's board. Her flank in particular was moving the most, so Twilight had issued her an order to mostly record her. "Sweet, Sweetie Belle and Applebloom arn't gonna believe this!" Scootaloo exclaimed.
Suddenly Rainbow Dash's plot displayed a swaying motion, in a hypnotizing fashion that wasn't short of awesome. Scootaloo's mouth dropped and she began to sway with her idol's plot. The sweat was blown in her face by Rainbow Dash's wings, and her eyes lit up with a newfound appreciation. "So... Awesome...." She said with a smile.
The gust from Rainbow Dash picked up considerably, and soon (even though she was only flying in place) a translucent rainbow began to erupt from her tail. Some drunken ponies tried to eat it. Pinkie Pie was suprised, and she not to let her friend's strange phenomenon get the better of her. The pegasus was ahead by only a hundred points now, and with her doing some flying routine Pinkie could get the upper hand when it came to arrow-hitting. A long string of "Awesomes" lit up her side of the screen and the earth pony smiled. Victory was just in her grasp- or touch, or something else ponies can do without hands.
On the other side of the dance floor Rainbow Dash now had not only a rainbow trailing her, but the air around her began to glow and turn a ghastly white. Her body began to fit into the tear in the atmosphere, her hooves creating a spark on the arrows because of her speed. Everypony was silent as the tear seemed to grow and Rainbow's entire body fit into the tear. Suddenly there was the crash of thunder and a flash of white, and everypony was thown back into the back wall.
Pinkie Pie held on to the pole with all her might as her friend preformed a stationary Sonic Rainboom, but it was not enough and she hit the wall with a dull thump. Her coach Celestia was faring the same, the veins on her neck popping out and her eyes bloodshoot. "I... Can't... Handle.... It!!" She yelled as she let go and was catapulted backwards. Fate guided her straight into Pinkie's face, and the princess sighed in relief at how comfy her seat was.
The machine creaked at the force of the wind and the rainbow colors were hard to distinguish from the screen's colors. Rainbow Dash stayed in this position for quite a while, her cheeks becoming lifeless flaps of fat. Her eyes were huge with excitement, and her hooves hit the arrows and caught fire (but quickly extinguished, much to the relief of Vinyl Scratch). Soon the song began to end, as did her majestic Sonic Rainboom, and the mare's rainbow sprouting from her plothole soon returned to its normal mane-form.
After a moment of the song ending Rainbow Dash hit the board and opened her wings in victory. Luna (who somehow managed to defy gravity and stay in place), lifted her hoof high and cheered "Thou have a victor!"
The ponies on the wall slowly fell off, one at a time. Celestia released her royal booty from Pinkie's face first, landing swiftly and taking her place by the board. Once everypony else had gotten off only a pink pancake had remained. Said pancake began to edge its way off the stone, then flutter softly to the floor where it expanded and morphed into the magenta mare we all know and love. Pinkie Pie kept her head low and sulked to her spot, where Rainbow's score had already appeared.
"Ha! Who's the Queen of Dance now, Pinkie Pie?" Rainbow laughed as the earth pony took her board in silence. She dared to look up at Dashie's score, which was an infinity sign. The familiar sound effect sounded and Pinkie Pie waited for her score to appear. It was a sad-looking 9,999,999,999, not too shabby to some but downright horrible to her. Rainbow Dash did a little flip and yelled out her victory.
Luna fluttered up to Celestia and stuck her face in her sister's. "Ha ha! What is thou reward for victory, dear sister?"
Celestia narrowed her eyes and sighed. "If my memory is correct, this was a challenge of two songs. If one were to win one and the other to win the next, then Vinyl would choose a tiebreaker song. There's still a chance." She replied evenly. Her sister's eye twitched and she groaned in disappointment.
"Fine. Thy fine Dee-jay, will thou do the honor of selecting a new song to shuffle our hooves to?"
Vinyl Scratch appeared from the crowd, supported by a bright Bon Bon and a sleepy Lyra. "Daydream believer, I'm the, homecoming queen~ " Lyra sung away.
Bon Bon gave her friend a hard slap across the cheek. "Lyra, honey, we're supposed to be supporting Vinyl Scratch, not her supporting you." She said.
"But its so much fun to sing! It makes you feel all happy and tingly inside!" Lyra pleaded. "Sing with me, honey! My little pony, my little pony- "
Bon Bon dropped of Vinyl and lead her poor friend back to their table, where she gave her a stern talk about the importance of retaining your diginty in public, even when drunk.
Vinyl Scratch used the metal pole for support and pushed her glasses back up on her face. "Wha we doin? Oh yeah, the songa-thing-choosey. Whatcha waitin for?" She looked curiously at Rainbow and Pinkie.
Celestia was the one who spoke. "The deal was both of these mares chose a song, and in the event of a tie you would choose the next. It's a tie."
Vinyl laughed and hacked. "No no no, princess, I'm aint wearin' a tie! But if you want, I'll pick a song." She fumbled over to the screen and pressed a few buttons before getting to the song selection screen, where she took her time trying to find a good one. "Here we go! " She slurred, bucking the start button. The competitors readied themselves for the final challenge- the other matches didn't matter now. It was up to this coin to determine who really was the Queen of Dancing.
Beside them Luna and Celestia alike had devilish thoughts running through their minds. "Perhaps if I enchant her..." Celestia conisdered...
"A simple puppet spell would not hurt." Luna decided.
"Speed? Perhaps agility as well?"
"Excellent! There is no chance I shall lose at the hooves of my sister!"
I LIED
THERE WILL BE A PART 4
JUST WAIT
YOU'LL SEE
THEY'LL ALL SEE
Super-Duper-Extra-Amazingly-Hard
Rainbow Dash quickly took the lead, but her newfound victory was short-lived and Pinkie Pie easily overtook her. The mare's magenta tail streamed behind her like a fluffy flag.
"You're not taking my crown that easily, Dashie!" Pinkie called out. She didn't move her intense eyes from the bright screen.
Rainbow Dash cocked her head and momentarily missed a set of arrows. "What in Celestia's name are you talking-" She paused as from thin air Pinkie Pie conjured up a regal crown and set it atop her head, not missing a beat. "Oh." She murmured.
This song was a bit more upbeat and had a lot more accents then the previous ones. Rainbow Dash was having a tough time dealing with these, but Pinkie Pie excelled at them and thrived on the dancefloor.
In the background, a gray mare with eyes that went opposite ways was taking bets on the competitors. She held a bowler hat in her mouth and mumbled around it whenever somepony passed. "Tank fo!" She called out happily as a drunken Applejack waddled by and accidentally dropped her entire bag of bits into the small hat.
"Whatevah ya say, sugarcube..." Applejack slurred heavily, heading towards the bar that was manned by a familiar earth mare.
Through black hair her dark magenta eyes shone and blinked with confusion as the farm pony wobbled up and fell into a padded chair. She sighed and straightened the mandatory apron over her chest, just in case this one was a little too tipsy for comfort.
"What would you like, dear mare?" She asked flatly in an English accent.
Applejack, who's head banged on the table bar, lifted to attention and she smiled. "Heh, I know you..." She reached out to touch the bartender. "Ya from the Gran' Gacloppin' Gala, right?" She giggled. "Ya one pretty mare, ya know..."
Octavia blushed furiously and quickly flicked her head so some of her hair covered her red cheeks. "Oh, thank you... I guess."
"I'll have ah..." Applejack pointed at a bottle of Applejack Daniels on the wall behind Octavia. The mare went to grab it when the farm pony stopped her with a grunt. "No, how 'bout ah marga-whaha from over there-"
The musician groaned. Sometimes I wonder why I applied for this job.
Applejack was still debating. "That tequila looks nice, but ah'bit too fancy for mah tastes..." She went on.
Octavia sighted Vinyl by the competitors, her eyes drooping heavily and leaning on the machine. She saw Octavia behind the bar and blew a lopsided kiss.
She smiled. As long as Vinyl's happy, I guess.
Back at Applejack's table, Rarity had gotten bored of the main event and decided to take to the real-life dancefloor with a reluctant Berry Punch. "Come on, Berry dear," Rarity cooed as she got ready to twirl the wine mare, "show Rarity what you've got!"
Berry Punch tried to resist, wanting to get back to Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie on the virtual dancefloor, but Rarity's lithe figure and graceful moves changed her mind quickly. She yahooed and twirled with the unicorn, yanking her back around and holding her in a romantic position in the spotlight.
"Oh!" Gasped Rarity.
Berry blinked slowly, her eyes drinking in Rarity's deep blue ones and her smile, stained by years of professional wine-drinking, enticing the pure-white unicorn to come closer.
Rarity giggled and thrust her head upwards, making both pairs of lips meet in perfect harmony. Berry flinched, as if she wanted to get away from the embrace, but after a few seconds she closed her eyes and savored the moment.
Much to the ponies' surprise, the song was almost over, and Pinkie and Rainbow were only a mere five points apart. Pinkie's face of stone had melted and it was clear she was getting tired, but Rainbow Dash had dropped her stoic expression only a few seconds in.
The last chorus was almost complete, and Rainbow slipped abruptly on her board and fell back almost a hundred points. Pinkie Pie saw this and laughed heartily, pushing forward. "Nice try, Dashie, but this is my game!"
Dashie felt like crying; she didn't want to dance, not at all, but she had come so far and was about to lose to a hyper earth pony with the Princess of the Sun on her side. She felt a single, salty tear escape.
The pegasus shook her head violently and narrowed her eyes.
No.
She would not loose when she had come this far.
This was her game.
And she would do whatever it took to make sure she won.
Rainbow Dash stuck out a hoof onto Pinkie's board and watched in delight as she tripped over it and nearly fell into the system's LCD screen. She raced ahead by twenty points. "What did you say about it being your game, Pinkie?" She sneered.
The earth pony found her hooves again and frowned in despair at her friend. "H-how could you do such a thing, D-d-ashie?" Unlike Rainbow, a waterfall of tears sprang forth instead of a single one.
She narrowed her ultramarine eyes and frowned when Dashie didn't answer and kept dancing. "If that's how you wanna play-" she bumped Rainbow Dash so hard she nearly fell off her board- "Then we're gonna play it that way!"
The blue pegasus roared and bumped the mare back. Back and forth the two went.
In the background the volume began to rise. Octavia, who usually had a calm temper, had begun to yell at Applejack and threaten to throw her out.
"Decide already, you sad excuse for a pony! " She screeched, pounding her hooves on the bar.
"Well we wouldn't be in this sit-u-ation if you could jus' decide already!" Applejack countered.
"What does that even mean?!"
"How shoul' ah know? Ya the hawt bartend-ah!"
"I will not be spoken to in that manner, miss!"
"Ah ain't no miss!"
Beyond them Berry Punch and Rarity had begun dancing again, their hooves clopping loudly as they salsa-ed and tangoed. Both had wide smiles and were blushing like there was no tomorrow.
Twilight Sparkle was trying to direct Scootaloo, armed with her own camera, at the same time with minimal results. The poor filly could barely hear over the ruckus, and Twilight had to yell to get her point across.
"To the right! The lighting is perfect!"
"Why would I move to the left when where I am is fine?"
Twilight groaned and tried to convey her words in gestures, which didn't work either.
Next to the bickering dancers Celestia and Luna had begun fighting as well over their competitors and who would win. Both were sharp-tongued and armed with over a thousand years of slinging sarcasm and insults.
Rainbow Dash was bumped again and this time she had to use her wings to regain her balance. "You're gonna get it, cupcake!" She rammed back into Pinkie Pie with the force of 16.5 wingpower.
Pinkie Pie seemed to absorb the blow and fire it right back at her opponent easily.
Meanwhile Vinyl Scratch began to feel the after-effects of her five margaritas and was banging her head into the system. "Why did I drink five?" She questioned. "Three was good enough!"
The sound reached it's breaking point and blasted Vinyl's sensitive eardrums. "ENOUGH!" She screamed and rammed her head into the machine once more.
The impact broke the internal workings just as the song was about to end. Parts of metal flew through the air and a burst of light blinded everypony for a long moment. The two on their boards shouted out curses and insults that even the most sailor-mothed pony would reget saying sooner or later to one another.
When the dust settled all that was left of the machine was a metal stump and two very confused ponies. Rainbow Dash had soot all over her face and parts of her chest and Pinkie's mane had spiked three feet high in diferent directions from some sparks that flew during the explosion.
"W-Wha jus' happened?" Applejack slurred from her seat.
Octavia simply glanced at the ruined machine with her mouth wide open and a look of disbelief on her face.
Rarity and Berry Punch, in the middle of a heated samba, stopped suddenly with wide eyes and open mouths. "What?" Berry Punch whispered to her partner.
Rarity didn't respond.
After a few moments Vinyl Scratch finally spoke.
"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!" Her voice was louder than thunder and echoed through the quiet club. Nopony answered her.
"I trust you with my newest machine, and the most expensive, mind you," the angry DJ stomped up to Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie with steam coming out her ears, "and this is what you do to it?!"
Pinkie Pie was the first to speak. "I-I just don't know what went wrong." She stammered, trying to hide her shame behind Rainbow's figure.
Vinyl's eye twitched. "You don't know?! YOU DON'T KNOW!?"
Her fur, usually white, turned a scarlet red and her mane turned into pure fire. Applejack tried to roast a marshmellow on the searing flame. Even the Princesses backed up in shock and terror.
"OUT- EVERYPONY!"
Nopony moved a muscle.
"NOW!"
The unicorn's horn glowed a violent blue and the tip sparked with a white light that grew until it exploded, much like the machine, but didn't make a sound and was gone as quickly as it had appeared. When the dust cleared everypony was gone except for the rampaging pony (And a cowering Octavia, who was hiding behind the bar).
She made an effort to control her breathing. After a while it slowed slightly and her mane and fur regained their normal electric blue and white respectively, and she sighed loudly and began to walk towards the deserted bar, her hoofsteps sounding like gunshots in the silence.
"A nice, cold Maretini, will you honey?" She murmured, sitting down in the barstool and laying her head on the counter.
The sound of soft hooves on cold gravel came from outside the empty nightclub, bustling with life only a few hours earlier. Broken glass and splashes of various drinks were everywhere in sight, and some toilet paper hung from the disco ball.
The door to this club creaked open and a certain pegasus' head popped in. Her fluffy pink mane could barely fit in the small space. Her expressive emerald eyes surveyed the scene carefully and quietly.
"Where did everypony go?" She whispered.
Author's Notes:
Thank you all for the constructive reports and compliments, as well as likes and thumbs-up- it sounds cheesy, I know, but I never thought someone- thirty four someones, to be exact- would like my writing as much as you guys have.
Also, don't turn your back on this humble little story now that it's marked complete, there may be some "extras" I'll release sooner or later...
-Epic
