STAY HERE

push up... hold... go down... push up... hold... go down...

gasp

push up... hold... go down...

push up... hold... go down...

breathe

push up...

hold...

go down...

push up...

hold...

go down...

inhale

push up...

hold...

go down...

push up...

I groan through my teeth as I struggle against the earth. My voice comes out as a faint squeak. It repeats periodically, becoming more and more labored with each successive push. My lungs and throat feel like they're being scraped apart from the inside. The muscles in my wings are already shaking from the strain. The joints burn as the bones grind against each other. They scream at me as I work them relentlessly. I ignore the pain and focus on my task.

The motion begins to slow down. My face contorts. I try channeling more strength into it. My limbs struggle to comply. The sound I make is doubled as my inhalations gain a voice of their own. Every breath is like pulling a lead weight into myself. A slight rasp enters my squeaks. They are louder now. The irritating noise makes me grind my teeth together. I am nauseated by the sight of the ground zooming in and out before my face. I shut my eyes to stop it. The wave-like motion continues to make my head spin.

I open my eyes again and raise my head. I see them standing around me, towering over my prone form. They mock me with their unblinking gaze. A wall of eyes closing in around me. The wells in the sockets of my skull start to tingle again. The skin on my face is twitching. I suck in the air sharply. I try to stop it. My tears begin to escape from my eyes. I do everything I can to hold them back. They roll down the sides of my face, burning a path along the way. I collapse to the ground. It is no use. I don't have enough strength. My head buries itself under my forehooves. My muffled sobs begin to escape from the cocoon I try to wrap around myself. I begin the slow process of drowning myself in my own tears.

I hate this. I hate my useless wings. I hate my frail voice. I hate being weak. I hate being afraid. I hate having to do this. I hate that it doesn't do anything. I hate trying. I hate struggling. I hate having to hate anything.

I wipe my tears with a hoof and look up again. There they are, staring down at me.

No.

I sniffle through my flooded nose. The sound it makes infuriates me. I snort, then I spit. I dig my hooves into the dirt. I want to rip a hole into the face of the earth.

No.

I won't just lie here. I won't let them win. I will pound my weakness into submission. I will eradicate fear from my body.

If someone tells you you're weak, you rip out their noisy beak.

I get back up. I feel unending hatred welling up inside me. My tears are sucked back into my skull. I scream into their faces. No coherent words are formed. I snarl like a rabid, wild animal. I want to destroy them with my voice. I feel the mucus being torn out of my throat. I cough and hack and spit and scream again. They scatter like cowards before my furious outburst.

I lower my wings and continue where I left off. The words that granted me strength now bring a smile to my face. I fondly remember his imposing figure. The way he could assert his dominance over others without any hesitation. The ability to command fear and respect from anypony around him. The desire to achieve such power is what drives me further. It helps me ignore the pain and fatigue. It helps me get stronger.

I grin as I visualize the new me. I see myself walking through the town among the others. Shoving them aside. Trampling on them. Making them inferior to me. Letting them know their place beneath my hooves. Making them feel what it is like to be somepony else's doormat. The joy of the fantasy makes me push that much harder to lift my body. I grunt from the effort. My breathing is an inequine snarl now. My heart is beating faster. I feel it sinking lower into my chest as the violence in my mind increases.

I want to see them all bow before me and worship my power over them. I want a clear path to form itself before me through any thick crowd. I want to crush whoever gets in my way.

I summon up the image of my former self. The frail and weak little thing they all called their friend. I stomp on the pitiful vermin without mercy. I scrape the remains off the bottom of my hoof and bury them. Nopony will ever see that filth crawling around any more. That part of me I leave behind today. For all eternity, it will stay here...

Author's Note

It begins...