MIRACLE OF LOVE

Hold me!

Could this be it?

I need you.

This is that feeling that they all live and die for? This is the sensation that takes hold of so many rational people, driving them insane? The one that inspires all those songs and books and poems and plays and whatever else there exists as a form of expression?

Do you love me?

Such notions used to make me laugh. I used to pity those that I heard musing and complaining about it. I never believed I could have feelings for anyone other than myself.

Hold me tighter!

To be fair, it wasn't entirely egotistical. My ambitions left me little time to worry about such trivial things as relationships. They bored me. I felt like they were wasting my time. Life is short enough as it is for you to properly leave your mark on it. To spend any of it on such vapid dreams seemed pathetic to me. The desires of the flesh are easy to satisfy, after all. The desires of my soul were so much greater.

I love you.

I still cannot make any sense of it. There is no rationality involved. And yet, whenever I recall my memories of burying myself among your arms, submerged in the warmth radiating off your chest, placing my head against your chest to hear that wonderful sound, I can feel it overwhelming me once again.

Say it for me!

I could never forget that day. Try as I might, I could never do it. I don't want to. I want to remember it for all of eternity. The turning point in my life. The decisive moment in the stream of events that has led us all here.

I wandered about aimlessly, lost and all alone. They all gave me strange looks, perplexed by my delirious state. None of them would look twice. I was abandoned to my fate. There was nothing I could do. I did not know where I was, or even what I was. I was out of place. My surroundings were foreign. They were crushing me, and I had no strength to support myself. I stumbled around like a helpless fool. The very sight of the world around me was blinding.

We collided. Your gaze fell upon me as I lay on the floor. I remember you smiling. Your hand extending toward me. You did not know me then. I was just a small, helpless critter in your eyes, cowering under the weight of the world around it. The purity of your spirit did not conceal itself. You took pity on me, even though I did nothing to deserve it.

That was the first time that I felt your warmth. Your soothing voice. The feel of your hand on my own making me shiver. Your firm but gentle grip as you helped me up. My strength failing me, and your own rushing to keep me on my feet.

Whether it happened through fate or through mere coincidence, I could never understand. Such a great thing should have some meaning attached to it, the timing being given some sort of significance. I never decided to care, though. I still don't. All I can remember are tears. My eyes letting them all go. All the tears that I tried to hold back rushing forth in one continuous stream. I did not yet know how to steel myself. I was weak. Fearful. I took shelter in your comfortable embrace. You held me tightly, keeping me above the waves that threatened to consume me.

I don't know for how long we stayed that way. Whenever I try to immerse myself in the memory, it either feels like an entire lifetime, or a mere instant. Eventually, we both just let go, then went our separate ways. Thoughts swirled around in my head, emotions that I could not even comprehend, let alone control.

I looked at my face in the mirror. A miserable, tear-stained weakling stared back at me. The sight was repulsive. I felt anger welling up inside me, and my mind finally reached a moment of clarity. I remembered what I came here to do.

I needed to be strong. Erase the embarrassment that this incident had been. Pound them all into submission. None would ever dare question my authority. They would scatter like rats as I walked among them, my very sight instilling fear in their minds.

I couldn't help but smile as I imagined their pathetic sight. I felt strength returning to my spirit. It was time to begin my ascension.

Then I met you again. Your friendly smile greeted me, completely ignorant of what I have become. That feeling returned. The divine sensation evaporated from my body, and I became mortal once more. My strength left me as you approached. I shrank together as your voice washed over me. My mind became lost in a swirling torrent of thoughts as I held your hand.

I can see us walking side by side. I can feel your body against mine. I can hear myself whispering all those lies to you. I can hear you responding with your own. Our embrace tightened with every word.

I tried to conquer you as well. Every moment without you I spent fantasizing about it. Making you my own. Seeing everyone else bow down before our combined might. I gathered all my strength in preparation as the moment approached. Each time, my resolve ended up escaping my body, and I became that weakling in your grasp once more.

You were the only one that I allowed to see me that way. I did not forget my other self. I couldn't help it. My authority had to remain unyielding. I did not think it would go wrong. I hoped that you would be pleased. Proud to see the strength that I managed to gather on my own.

I tried to ignore it for as long as I could. The disapproval showing in your expression. The subtle shift in your mood. Your words of caution. I refused to notice any of it. I would not allow anything to meddle with the perfect world that I have built for myself.

You were the only one to ever catch a glimpse of my true self. But even you never managed to see all of it. That night, I revealed myself completely.

Pain stabs into my heart whenever I think about it. It is the only memory that I wish to banish from my mind. Your frown expressing your disappointment. Your voice no longer delivering warmth. Your distance from me as we faced each other. My anger taking hold. The way we shouted at each other.

You told me that you could not accept me this way. I would not relent. I wanted you beside me the way I was. I even mocked you for siding with those worthless creatures. They did not deserve to be on my level, thus I saw no reason to be kind to them.

You did not share my sentiments. My confidence fell apart instantly when I saw the look in your eyes. I knew what would come next. There was no turning back. The words struck me mercilessly. Each one felt like a blow straight to my head, delivered by your own hands. You would not even say goodbye as you left me.

I could not show myself for days after that. Even after all that has happened, I wanted my image to remain flawless. No matter how hard I tried, my body would vent itself at every opportunity. I wanted my emotions to turn into anger, but they would not obey me. I refused to let anyone see me that way.

Weeks passed without another word between us. Whenever we would cross paths, we refused to acknowledge each other's existence. We were like a pair of ghosts, drifting past each other silently before being whisked away by a cold breeze. I wanted to hate you. I wanted to be repulsed by your sight. I wanted my tears to stop betraying me.

Thinking back now, it could have turned out better for us. I could have done better. Forget myself in your embrace and leave my plans for ascension behind once and for all. After all, there is no need for something as elaborate as that when you are enough to bring me happiness.

The thought made me smile. It was tempting. Bit by bit, I slowly began gathering the courage to approach you again.

Say it for me!

But then I saw you with her. The two of you dancing. Hugging. Smiling at each other. The look in your eyes when you stared at her. A look that I recognized.

Do you love me?

I felt something twisting around within me. My insides wanted to crawl out of my belly. I could feel a steel vice gripping my heart. My legs were trembling, ready to buckle under my weight.

Would you do anything for me?

My brain was the only thing in me that would not react. It could not process the sight nearly as fast as the rest of my body did. Despite myself, all I could do was smile. It was the only response that the chaos in my mind could generate.

I love you.

Even now, as I see them all lined up in front of me, fixing me with an angry gaze, I can only smile. I feel my very soul draining out of my body, removing all of my weaknesses that have anchored me before.

Trust, faith, compassion. Love. None of these things were ever of any use to me. Nothing else in the world matters to me anymore. Power. That is the only thing that I truly need to get what I want.

I love you.

My fists are shaking as their grip tightens around the cool strips of metal. The excitement running through my nerves is almost too much to handle. It makes me laugh maniacally as I raise it above my head. Despite its thin shape, the ornament feels heavy as it rests on top of my skull.

Unimaginable heat flows through every portion of my being. I can feel my limbs twisting out of shape. The agony is beyond anything I have ever felt before. It sends a continuous stream of tears from my eyes, which is soon evaporated by the otherworldly fire consuming my body.

The pain, however, is nothing compared to the pleasure that I feel at this moment. The moment of my ascension. The sensation of infinite power within my grasp.

I love you.

Do not worry. You have no reason to fear me. I forgive you for not accepting me before.

Everything will be alright. I will make sure of it. We will be together again, as we always should have been.

Author's Note

People didn't like the movie because... well, the reasons are varied. In my opinion, however, the only real problem with it was that they didn't have enough time to properly explore all the little tidbits that they tossed up.

Take this "subplot," for example. We never get to know what exactly went down between the two of them, and I bet that if we did, her character (not to mention the whole movie) could have been given infinitely more depth...

Meh... What do I know?