Guilt Changes Everything

by shadowminded

Rating: teen
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Sad, Changelings, Scootaloo, Adventure, Princess Celestia
Length: 2349

guilt ridden and afraid, a lone changeling begins a quest to save the lives of his hive and help give back to the world the life he has tragically taken

After a very unfortunate event in the evergreen forest, the changeling known as Jeckle , vows to live out the life of the young pony he unintentionally killed. After several years under this guise and vow, Jeckle comes up with a brilliant plan (incomprehensibly unthought of by anyone else) to fullfill his vow, save his hive, and ultimately make the world of equestria a better place. All does not go according to plan though, as a young pegasi with their own misfortunes decides to join the fun.

Published 2015-05-13 04:40:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-05-17 22:49:45 UTC

Down From the Start (prelude)

Taking one step forward and crouching low, Twinkle tensed one more time. He threw himself forward and lunged into the air - hoofs outstretched before him grasping at the fruit that has hung tantalizingly above his head for the last half hour or so. The juicy plum swung from a branch just out of reach, pulsing with a vibrantly deep purple that whispered to his taste bud's imagination. As all the times before however; Twinkle's jump wasn't quite enough and he found himself plum-etting back towards the ground into a mud puddle, skidding along, and forcibly nuzzling yet another tree trunk. The impromptu embrace shook a few leaves from the tree. Two descended and covered his eyes as they got stuck in the mud caking his face. Twinkle sighed and slid deeper in the mud.

A rustle of leaves greeted his ears and gave Twinkle a reason to stand once more. He turned around and was confused by the fact that he couldn't see anything before realizing that there was mud plastered over his face. He wiped the mud from his face and called out with a wispy "hello?" not haven spoken for some time. He cleared his throat and tried once more to address the noise. The Everfree forest responded with a snap of twigs, startling him and urging him to take a step back where his hind-hoof found itself braced against a root. Twinkle tensed up and lowered himself preparing to run before letting a wavering "who's there?" leave the safety of his lips to seek out the source of his fear.

In answer to his question a creature darker than the depths of space, which the glowing green eyes so similar to those of the aliens in Twinkles favorite comic series would suggest it had originated from, burst through the foliage of the shrubbery with a shrill snarl. Twinkle was taken aback by the unearthly sight and stumbled backwards, tripping on the root he had braced himself against and was engulfed by the bushes behind him. He watched as the bushes shot towards the sky and he felt the air caress the fur on his body as he fell, much farther than he had expected to because he had not known of the cliff edge the bush concealed.

With an unpleasant thud, Twinkle found himself tumbling in barrel-rolls down the side of the cliff, giving what must have been every rock he met on the way down either a kiss, a hoof-shake, or a full on hug. Only once he stopped rolling, having reached the bottom laying on his stomach near a stream, did he notice the warmth that began to ebb over him. Gentle and pleasant at first, it was like a mothers reassuring touch after waking from a bad dream, but soon it turned into the blistering seize of a python from the depths of Hades as it bore down on him in excruciating agony. The only thing restraining his cries for mercy being the rock which had decided to replace the back part of his right jaw. As night set early for the young earth pony, he was lulled to eternal sleep by the echoing calls of his mother.

Author's Note

I did/do have an alternate intro, but I felt this was a better attention getter

Pressing First Impressions

None of these trees looked familiar, and yet they all looked the same. Jeckle, in his delirious, starved, and exhausted outrage, lashed out at one of the towering mimics. His leg connected with the tree and split the bark, but the trees bite was worse and fractured the whole malnourished carapace encasing his entire leg. Jeckle swore under his breath and continued to now limp on. It wasn't long before he began to feel a strange solidity in the pit of his stomach that left a flat yet enticing flavor in his mouth. This peculiar sensation he couldn't quite understand gave him reason for pause, and in his new found silence he heard grunts and shouts coming from a short distance away.

He was now only three feet away and had a conveniently concealed location to observe from, and figure out the cause of the grunts and yells. From his little alcove he could clearly see just what was happening and it gave him a sense of benevolent amusement. Before him was a small earth pony, light blue in coat marked by streaks of evening dusk navy that seemed to emminate from the moon and stars behind the cloud on his flank. The young colt shook his sun orange mane from his eyes and stared intently at an overhanging plum as he coiled in preparation for his next attempt. Jeckle realized the taste and sensation as the essence of determination and could tell the colt had been at this for a while. Jeckle was about to move towards him and offer his help when he saw the colt lunge once more with comical results as the young one successfully covered himself in mud and leaves. After stifling an ill-mannered laugh, Jeckle took a few steps forward and heard the leaves under his hoof give way stirring the colt. Jeckle paused, as hesitant and weak-willed as the hello that came his way. He was now aware of the possibility that perhaps his introduction would fail to be met with casual acceptance by this child who would no doubt think him bizarre and most likely frightening. A second hello pleaded with him to put the child at ease but in his hesitance Jeckle took a step back and broke a twig which set them both even further on edge. Obviously frightened now, evident in appearance alone, the warm sticky feeling filling his throat only further confirming his knowledge of the child's terror, the colt can be seen preparing himself to run before he called out "who's there?"

Perhaps he shouldn't have done it. He had no idea why he did. Hearing that question however; he simply felt obligated to let him know so he stepped forward. Once. Twice. As he took the final step from behind the bush his fractured leg gave out and he stumbled forward with a pained hiss. When Jeckle raised his head the colt was gone, he had frightened him away. Jeckle sighed and lowered his head again in self loathing. Then he heard the thud, crack, and a sound similar to cascading rocks. He moved forward and found the edge of a cliff behind the bush before him, from which he could still hear rocks falling. He looked down and blinked. There, several feet below the cliff face, lay a light blue streak dotted by a sun orange comet in a dark red pool that ached to be one with the river it was beginning to flow into. Jeckle sat down, mouth slightly agape as his mind laboriously pushed the events together. It was then he heard the calls.

"Twinkle! Are you out here? Mommy's looking for you. Twinkle Moon, darling!"

Jeckle started with a panic; possibly runoff from the concerned mother, maybe due to the tragedy itself, or perhaps from the thought of this mare discovering her dead son and the changeling that had been a crucial element in his untimely death. Any reason gave evidence of his poor condition and how he was loosing sense of what his emotions were, and what were not. He could feel the constricting panic of the mother's voice though she did well to conceal it. He knew he couldn't let this mother find her son like this. Having no other ideas and wrangled by guilt, Jeckle took one last remorseful look on the limp body below and gave it life by taking its form. He then lay down and closed his eyes as he heard the call of his mother near.

"Twinkle? Oh Twinkle, there you are! You made mommy so worried, I told you not to go this deep into the forest! Twinkle?" With a sigh and a shake of her head, she levitated the sleeping imitation of her son onto her back and walked toward home. "Of all the places this boy's fallen, asleep is the most emotionally straining for me.

House Warming Gift

A scuffle and clatter of noise most closely compared to glass knocking against glass brought Jeckle out of his unconscious state. He blinked and rose with a swiftness, finding himself face down on the bed again immediately after. He clutched his leg and groaned trying to replace the thought of pain with the recollection of where he was and how he got there. He pried his right eye open and glanced at the leg he was holding taking into account its unconventional light blue color...and furry texture. With a shake of his head Jeckle found the memory of what was probably yesterday: The forlorn wandering through the woods; the anger, amusement and despair which paraded in sequence along the short period of time encompassing the adventure; the gnarling feeling of a physical deficiency which left him weak and barely coherent. He was in no condition to hold a link to the Hive Mind, let alone try to seek out his companions.

The door creaked open, pulling Jeckle away from his memories. Twinkle Moon's mom called from the hallway as she walked in and nuzzled the blue earth pony in her son's bed. "Morning Moon-ie. You awake yet my little shinning star? Mommy made you breakfast."

Jeckle rolled over and wiped his eyes as he took a look at the mare. She wore a light red coat and had a cascading Sun-kissed mane of orange similar to her son's. He looked into her azure blue eyes and let out a hesitant "Good morning...mom."

She smiled and picked up her son placing a kiss on his forehead. "I know you must be hungry, you missed super last night." She kissed his forehead again and pondered a little before speaking. "Well I think your fever broke, your forehead isn't as warm anymore. Now come on, our food's getting cold" she said with a smile.

After she entered the room with Jeckle on her back, the way Twinkle always loved, she set out the plates and let the earth pony on her back slide down onto the chair. He inhaled as he reflected and caught a whiff of what she had prepared making his stomach rumble. "Wow, that really smells pretty good....what did you all make...mom?" Jeckle commented.

She chuckled at her son's enthusiasm before responding. "It smells that good huh? I thought you would have gotten sick of it by now. I'm afraid its the same orange juice, French toast, and carrot crumble breakfast as we've had the last three days. I told your father he needed to go to the market last week, but the poor thing's been working so hard lately, he completely forgot." She let out a sigh and smiled as she served the fantastic French toast feast. "But he should be home pretty soon, he'll be happy to see you're awake." She paused with thought before continuing in a more stern manner. "You know, you gave us quite a scare yesterday. What in Equestria happened to you? I turned around for a minute so I could sort through the laundry before putting it away, and when I looked back outside you were gone. I have no idea how many times I've told you to stay out of that forest young man, but you really must listen to me before something terrible happens."

Jeckle's stomach dropped, not because he felt ashamed, but because he knew just how true her words were. He couldn't fathom the amount of grief that would come to her if she found out. He looked down and scuffed his hoof against the stool, unable to look this mare in the eye.

"You have nothing to say for yourself?" She breathed in anger before seeing the small pony before her. She sighed and walked around to give him a hug. "It's ok. We just worry so much about you." she gently squeezed him protectively but let go in worry hearing him give a pained hiss.

Jeckle inhaled sharply from the increased pressure on his fractured leg and saw the resulting motherly panic this stirred up in the mare. "it's...it's nothing, I must have bruised my leg from all my jumping. That's all." He offered these words to try and bring peace and reassurance to his mother. She became somewhat less alarmed, but still worried she grabbed out some bandages from under the counter and lightly wrapped his arm to prevent further injury. Jeckle didn't much care for the clammy feeling worry came with, nor the coldness that filled his stomach, but he did appreciate her kindness and new that the foal he was trying to keep in existence had lived a happy life. He smiled at her and sighed contently as she nuzzled against him before going to take care of her daily tasks throughout the house. He knew he couldn't let her know the truth, even if that meant he had to stay and risk never being able to reunite the Hive. He was willing to do that to give back the life he had taken, or at the very least, keep some happiness in the world. He knew the Hive could survive without him, but this new family was not so capable now.

He ate the French toast but left the carrot crumble as it was far to sweet for him to stomach. He tried to take the orange juice in his magic believing all the compassion, affection and other elements of love would be enough to restore his abilities, but seeing the aura flicker and fade he decided against it. He slid off the stool and took his plate to the sink after throwing out the scraps. When he came back he grabbed the rest of his juice and started to sip on it while he limped awkwardly throughout the house.