Chapters A Voice, A Mystery, and a muffin
It was a perfect Saturday morning in the peaceful town of Ponyville, in the land of Equesrtia. The sun was high in the sky and beaming down on everypony. There was not a cloud in the sky thanks to the dilligent pegasi. Mares and colts alike were either relaxing in their homes, or busy along Mane Street. The ponies were having a farmer's market and were as busy as ever. Produce from Sweet Apple Acres was selling fast, as well as the flowers from a certain triplets garden. Yes, it was a normal day for most ponies, but this story isn't about most ponies. This story is about a certain special pony. A pony who with a job of delivering mail to every pony Ponyville. A grey pegasus with blond hair, who had peculiar eyes but never let it get in the way. This story is about a mare named Derpy Hooves, and her journey there and back again.
~
Derpy Hooves had just woken up. It was the same time she woke up every morning, 7:29, which left her a minute to take in the scenery before having to go through her routine.
"Wow, its a really pretty day today!" Derpy said still a little groggy from just waking up.
"Well! *yawn* time to get ready."
Derpy flew over to the lake to wash up, as according to her morning schedule. She took a quick bath and washed her mouth out and combed her mane. The ducks and frogs and other creatures didn't mind sharing the water with Derpy and had grown rather fond of her visits.She then flew back to Cloudsdale which was now busy with other pegasi waking up to greet the morning and gathered her things and recited the Equestrian Postal Service Creed.
"Neither snow nor rain nor... um...heat... nor... aw!" Derpy looked for the piece of paper she kept the creed on in her mail bag.
" Where is it where is it, oh! Here it is! Ahem... Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from their swift completion of their appointed rounds. done!"
With that, Derpy dived down from the clouds feeling the wind wisk through her mane. She waved to Rainbow Dash who was passing by in a hurry as usual. From her bird's eye view, Derpy could see all of Ponyville, and all the ponies who were busy as bees, even on a Saturday. Normally Derpy would fly directly to the post office but seeing all the action she felt inclined to take a stroll down Mane street.
"Well I guess it can't hurt to skip one step in my schedule." Derpy said reassuring herself.
Derpy swooped down and landed near the edge of Mane Street. She saw the Apple family selling fruits and vegetables, and little Apple Bloom, trying to get an auctioneer cutie mark by the sound of it. Rarity was selling her dresses and taking appointments for alterations. Fluttershy was selling her pets or at least trying to. She seemed very anxious about the large crowd of ponies. The Cakes were selling there baked goods at discount prices, and Pinkie Pie was working hard to bring in customers with her improvised songs about cake. Pinkie bounced over to Derpy with a giant grin on her face.
"Happy Birthday Derpy!" Pinkie said with glee.
"But my birthday isn't..."
"Until January 21st? I know that silly!"
Pinkie rubbed Derpy's mane and then bounced on over to other passerby, wishing them happy birthdays and singing them jingles. Twilight Sparkle was walking by checking her to do list. When she noticed Derpy she walked with her for a while. They chatted about the happenings in Ponyville, Lyra and Bon Bon's fight, the latest shenanigans of the Cutie Mark Crusaders, and just what the Doctor was up to.
" Are you sure you don't want me to look for a spell for your eyes?"
" Yes Twilight, I can see perfectly fine."
" I can see if Zekora has any herbs..."
" No,no I can manage." Derpy said as she narrowly avoided bumping into the town's statue.
" Who is that anyway?"
" Oh you don't know! " Twilight said excitedly.
"Well she is a famous earth pony from the pre-Celestian era who..."
"Ooh, I should probably get going Twilight don't want to be late bye!"
"Oh okay, bye!" Twilight said dissapointed.
Derpy knew it was rude to just fly away in the middle of sompony's story, but she really didn't want to be late again, and you know how Twilight gets when she's telling a story.
" Remember Derpy, Carpe Diem!"
" Carpe Diem boss!" Derpy wasn't sure what it meant but it must mean something along the lines of, 'goodbye, and have a good day!'
Then she was off... but first she stopped by the Cakes again to grab a banana nut muffin and then she was off!
" Yeah the hat looks pretty cool, but it might slow me down, aerodynamically speaking, and what if I dropped it! I would have to fly down and get it again and lose time on my delivery speed, and I might lose a letter! Besides, I like the wind in my mane." Derpy said to herself and her muffin. The hat or no hat decision wasn't just a choice of fashion, it was a choice of science and logic. I could explain the complexities of the hat or no hat decision, but we should be getting along with our story. It's about to get interesting. As Derpy finished her mufffin she planned out her route.
"Well, If I go to Sweet Apple Acres first, I can swoop back around and deliver to Fluttershy's cottage, and then I can..."
All of the sudden a black portal appeared in front of her out of nowhere! Derpy tried to steer away from it but it was too close and she was going too fast! Before Derpy knew it she was in the hole and falling! It was pitch black and silent as the grave. Derpy felt her heart pounding and she couldn't concentrate on flying and she crashed to the floor. Derpy hit the floor hard but she was uninjured. Derpy sat in silence for what felt like hours, she had never felt so alone, so trapped, so helpless. A light came out of nowhere and shined down on Derpy blinding her. She covered her eyes, and looked to see if she could tell where she was, but everything else was still black. Then she head a sound... clip, clop, clip, clop... a familiar sound of a pony coming from a distance... clip, clop, clip, clop The faint sounds grew louder and louder... clip, clop, CLIP, CLOP...
The sound of the voice made Derpy jump. It was a mare's voice, and she didn't sound very nice.
" Who are you? Were am I? How do you know my name?" Derpy said trying to sound brave.
" Oh, you know who I am Derpy Hooves. You know me as well as you know yourself. In fact everyone you know knows me as well."
"What...what do you mean?"
The voice chuckled creepishly and said, "Well my dear, let me show you. Then you'll understand, then again..."
Derpy couldn't believe her eyes. Maybe Twilight was right, because standing in front of her was...well... herself.
"Wha...what...ha...how?"
The mare threw back her head in laughter and said, "Perplexing is it not?I am almost like you in everyway. I would be your mirror, if not for two of my attributes. Notice my voice is not like yours. I don't possess your stupid unintelligent masculine voice."
Derpy was deeply hurt at the insult. No one had ever insulted her voice before. Had they?
"The other thing that makes us different, is I have normal eyes, unlike you you freak. Your unnatural eyes have made you the laughing stock of Ponyville since you were a filly, but your to idiotic to know that aren't you?"
At this comment Derpy was crushed. Why would somone say such a mean thing to anypony?
"But... but I was born that way..."
"You were born defective!"
" No I wasn't! I can see just as good as anypony!"
"Don't you mean just as well? I'm only speaking the truth, and don't be so offended. I'm not the first to point out your obvious flaw."
The thought floated around in Derpy's mind . It spoke into hear ears and poured malice into her heart. Visions of her friends laughing in amusement at Derpy raced through her mind. Had they been making fun of her the whole time? Had the relationships she had built been solely out of amusement?
"Oh Derpy, you've been nothing but a burden and an embarresment to your so called friends.How could you not see it before? They don't love you, they just feel bad for you because of your disadvantage."
" That's not true! My friends love me and care for me, and you know nothing about them! Your not me, I am me, Derpy Hooves! Your just a mean old mare with no heart!"
Derpy was suprised that such forceful words had come out of her mouth. She hadn't meant to be so mean, but that mare had no right to speak to her that way. So she spoke her mind. The Derpy doppleganger just stared at her coldly for a moment and then said,
" Your not as far off as you think. "
" What do you..."
" Don't interrupt me! Let me tell you who I am and why you are here. I am not you, that is correct, but I am your opposite. For every right there is a wrong, every white a black and every light darkness. I am your wrong, your black and your darkness. You could say I'm the Anti-Derpy. I can't tell you much about where I came from, but let me just tell you its nowhere you've ever been, and nowhere you'll ever go.There are beings out of your comprehension that have more power than either of your princesses, and their word is law. No one questions, no one suggests, and no one rebels. Despite this they can be greatly influenced by outside forces, and they have been, which is why I am here."
Derpy was about to speak, but she thought her question was about to be answered.
" These forces have decided that you can no longer coexist with the other ponies and you must be eradicated. You must be replaced with me.No one would miss you anyways. I'm sure they would be glad you..."
" SHUT UP!" Derpy shouted as she pushed the mare to the ground. Derpy was as startled as the mare was. Ponies don't usually act violently, which is why Derpy flew away into the darkness, to escape from the wicked mare. She couldn't she were she was flying, but she didn't care. As long as it was away from her. The only sound Derpy could hear was the sound of her own breathing. Then out of seemingly nowhere, and as sudden as lightning, the blinding light and the mare appeared. The mare looked livid. She stood on her hind legs and raised her arms to catch Derpy. Derpy couldn't stop and just as she was about to be caught, the light dissapeared.
" What the fuck man? Why did they change her voice? What was wrong with it in the first place?" said a tall creature.
" Apparently it was because a bunch of easily offended parents and bronies and possibly trolls complained about her appearance." said a thin creature.
" I don't see how this accomplishes anything, now it just looks like their making fun of blondes." said a short creature.
" I don't see what the big deal is." said a creature with glasses.
The tall creature turned around and said,
Derpy thought the creatures must be crazy. What the hay were they talking about? How do they know her name? and what is a fuck? Derpy thought these creatures must be her jailors, bad ones at that. What kind of jailor puts a prisoner in such an easily escapeable cell, and then leaves the prisoner unguarded? Derpy decided escape was more important than having her questions answered and looked around the room for an escape. 'The door might creek which would alert the guards, and it may be locked.' Derpy thought to herself. 'What else... oh! An open window! Thats perfect, now I just have to get out without alerting the guards.' Derpy placed on hoof on the carpet and waited for a response. None of them turned around. She placed the other three hooves down as quiet as a mouse, and as slow as molasses. Not that anyone eats molasses anyways. She prepared to escape by spreading her wings out, and as she did she knocked over all the drinks on the table in front of the chair. Derpy looked at the jailors as they turned around to capture their prisoner, but for some reason instead of being angry, they seemed rather... overjoyed to say the least. Some jumped up and down and squealed and some just stared and didn't say anything.
Derpy just sighed.
~ Yah, yah, It's basically chapter 1 but in different wording. Let me explain it to you sirs and madams. This story was originally made to be a joke story that was a one chapter thing. As I started writing it I got more and more interested in the story so I decided to make it full length. How long? Somewhere in between left and right, probably. I read chapter 1 a couple of times and didn't like all the little things missing from it, and I felt I could do better. so I redid the chapter, and in doing that it caused chapter 2 to be pushed back. Technically, this chapter isn't even done, but I have to go to bed and I want to get this uploaded so I can work on 1-up (search it) with X528pa. So i'm sorry to the ponies tracking this for the setback. Chapter 2 will come soon, along with a new chapter of 1-up hopefully. and Dats bout itdick.~
"... Our voices echo, maginifying your arrival. New Statue
~
With each passing moment these creatures were becoming more of a mystery to Derpy. First they ignored her completely, then when she spilled all of their drinks, they act like children being awarded candy. Now they seem positively confused just what to do. They are just standing in place, not taking their eyes off of her. They are whispering things to each other, Derpy heard them say things like,
" Are we seeing things?"
Derpy decided not to wait to see what the creatures would do next, she spread her wings and then one of the creatures started runnning towards her flailing his arms. One of the creatures called out to him and said,
" Kyle, NO! You'll scare her!"
Derpy launched herself in the air and headed towards the window but the creature they called Kyle jumped in front of her and closed the windows and tried to catch her again. Derpy flew towards the door and tried to ram her way through it but only succeeded in hurting her head. She then tried to open the door knob but Kyle prevented her.
" NO! DON'T LEAVE!" Kyle shouted at her while trying to grab her.
" Dammit Kyle, stop it! Your scaring her!"
Unsure of what to do Derpy started flying around the room hoping the creatures wouldn't be able to reach her. One of the creatures held back Kyle and slapped him in the face. Derpy was about to attempt to fly out the window again but then she got hit in the side of her head by one of the arms of a spinning machine on the roof. She fell into the arms of one of the creatures. She tried to break the creatures grip and flap her wings and kick the creature, but he had a tight grip on her. Derpy started getting worried about what they do to prisoners who try to escape.
" No! Please don't hurt me!" Derpy begged.
All of the bronies fell silent at the sound of her voice. Previously they assumed that she could either not speak, or couldn't understand them, they hoped Derpy didn't know what a boner was.
" Hurt you? Why would we hurt you?" said the creature holding Derpy, breaking the silence.
" So... your not my jailors?"
"Jailors? Were just a bunch of bronies."
Now Derpy was even more confused. What is a brony? The... um brony carried her off to the wide chair and set her down and crouched down beside her. It was then that Derpy noticed his large brown kind eyes. Derpy wasn't sure what kind would look like, but she was sure it looked like his eyes. The bronies gathered around her and sat on the floor or on the table. The bronies made sure Kyle stayed in the back.
" My name is Henry, and these are my friends. We're not jailors, and we are actually not sure how you got here, but trust me when I say that we would never hurt you. We're not even going to make you stay here, you could leave right now if you wanted. If you stay here though, you have my word that you'll be safe. "
Derpy was overwhelmed by his gesture and reached out and gave him a big warm hug. His beard itched her cheek and she giggled. Henry got up and sat next to her and said,
" Now, um... can you tell us anything... like your name." Henry said winking to another brony, for some reason.
" Okay. I'm Derpy Hooves and I come from the town of Ponyville in the land of Equestria. Um, we have an egalitarian society and we have two princesses. And we don't have any bronies, we have minotaurs, griffon's, dragons and hydras but no bronies. I'm a mail mare, and I was going on my routes on Saturday, when I fell into this portal while flying." Derpy said gesturing her flight with her hooves. All the bronies had wide grins on their faces, Derpy just assumed she must be a very good story teller.
" I fell really far down, and then I hit the ground really hard. I was worried I hurt my wing but, obviously I can fly." Derpy said with a laugh. Henry and all of the bronies just smiled. One of the bronies in the back punched Kyle in the arm.
" I sat for a long time waiting to see if I could hear or see anything, but it was pitch black, and all I could hear was my own breathing. Just when I was about to get up and walk around this bright, bright light popped out of nowhere. It was a hot white light that just floated in midair above me. The weirdest part was that everything was still dark around me, it was like it only illuminated me, and everything else was just naturally pitch black. Then I heard the sounds of hooves coming from a distance, and then I heard a mare's voice. She said I would know who she was, and everyone I knew would know as well. I didn't understand at first, but then she walked out and standing in front of me was a pegasus that looked exactly like me. Like EXACTLY, cutie mark, mane, and everything except her voice and her eyes."
Derpy remembered her harsh words, and felt a little crestfallen.
" She said I had a masculine voice, and my eyes were unnatural. She called me a freak, and deffective and she said I was a laughing stock."
" Are... my eyes and my... voice. Are they... do they make you..." Derpy was trying to find the right words to say. She was worried that they did think she was a freak. The evil mare planted so many nasty thoughts into her head that she was begining to believe them. Henry, however picked up on her intent, and said,
" Your eyes are unique Derpy, there is nothing wrong with them, and your voice is adorable. Right guys?" All the bronies gave a verbal agreement with 'yeah's and 'totally's. Kyle in the back nodded enthusiastically, very enthusiastically.
" Aw, thats sweet you guys!" Derpy was beginning to trust the bronies more. They seemed to be nice, and when their not chasing you around the room, they're not too much different than ponies. Though she was beginning to feel a little strange being naked while everyone else was clothed.
"Anyway she said that I was being replaced for some reason, I guess it had to do with my... appearance. I tried flying away, but she caught me, and then everything went black. Then I woke up here, with all of you. And then I thought you guys were my jailors, and now I'm telling you all this story. What I'm wondering though is, the mare said she had to eradicate me. I'm pretty sure eradicate means...kill. So, why didn't she... do that to me?" Derpy was hesitant in using the word 'kill'. It was a dirty word, a harsh word, a word that should never be uttered for any reason. Killing was wrong, no excuses, Derpy knew that. Doesn't everypony and brony?
~
Five tall dark figures in black suits sit impatiently in a dark room around a large oval table. Every window has been shut, and all the lights dimmed until the giant grey clock on the wall was barely visible. These five beings hold power and wealth in their hands like a scepter, and they let nothing stand in their way. They use whatever means necessary to get what they want, legal or otherwise. Their drinks have gone watery and their watches tick away without end. The man in the center lays on leg on his knee and taps his fingers on the table. The guest is late.
The doors to the room burst open and in walks two tall men exaclty alike, down to the laces on their shoes. They throw the pony they were carrying on the floor in front of the beings and exit the room slamming the doors.
"That was completely unnecesary! I would have walked in myself! There was no need for such brute force by your thugs."
The grey haired man in the center of the table says in a deep voice, "Watch your tongue when you adress those on my payroll you miserable horse. We're not exactly the kindest of people. We don't know that you'll come in by yourself so just of it as a minor precaution. Besides, you are late."
The pony stood up and winced a little at the new pain that was developing in her shoulder. She slowly walked towards the figures and sat on the lonely chair 10 feet away from the table. To say she was nervous would be a massive understatement.
" Well? Did you get rid of her?"
The pony sat in silence, trying to find a way to explain to the beings what had occured. The gray haired man did not like this though.
"DID YOU GET RID OF HER?" He yelled in rage while standing up and slamming his fist on the table.
"...Then she is dead?"
"Uh... not exactly." The gray haired man hung his head and put his elbows on table. Even in the darkness the pony could see his face turning red from anger.
"When we said eradicate, we meant it. How hard is it to kill a retarded pony who can barely see?" The gray haired man said through clenched teeth.
" She is not as stupid as you think she is. She is very clever, and she can see perfectly fine. As opposed to what you informed me. I thought I would be dealing with a simpleton who would expect nothing of my appearance. She is a completely capable pony, and if it does not offend you for me to say so, I don't know why you would replace her at all."
~
"No Kyle! You can't take her!"
The bronies had been going on like this for about an hour. Most of them had already left. They had said it would be too weird, or they wouldn't be able to keep her a secret, whatever that meant. Derpy would be happy to meet other bronies personally, but she didn't want to interrupt the bronies and tell them that. The bronies had gone into the other room and told Derpy to 'sit tight' until they returned. Derpy wasn't sure why she should sit tight, or how one would exactly sit loose. The number of bronies had been wittled down to five, and the sun was beginning to descend and, if this place was anything like Equestria, make way for the moon. The gray pegasus noticed the sunsets were much more vibrant than the ones in Ponyville. While Derpy was waiting she got curious and started looking around at all the miscellaneous items scattered around the room. There was a poster on the wall with strange looking text, and stranger looking bronies with different colored monotone costumes. These must be important political figures. Other than the poster, most of the other objects seemed like toys. There were cards, figurines, and backward picture books with bronies who looked very serious. What really caught Derpy's attention were the statuettes surrounding the illuminating screen that looked just look six ponies from Ponyville. They looked just like the six very important ponies who had saved Princess Luna and stopped Discord, all of whom she had just seen this morning. That is if it was still Saturday. The only thing Derpy could tell about time is that it was getting late. The figurines all were made of a strange material that was hard, but a soft hard. One that wouldn't hurt very bad if it was thrown at your head. Derpy picked one of them up and carried it to the table. Same rainbow mane, same cutie mark, same colors. Yep, this is Rainbow Dash.
"Huh, thats pretty cool. I wonder if..." Derpy flew towards the door and peeked outside at the bronies who were still arguing. What Derpy was about to do was... odd to say the least, but she just had to try it. She picked up the Rainbow Dash toy and began to play with it. Derpy soundtracked her flight through Cloudsdale with whooshes and woos. She was Rainbow Dash, one of the greatest fliers in all of Equestria. She soared through the skies, and performed death defying stunts, and breath taking tricks. Crowds shouted out her name. 'Rainbow Dash! Rainbow Dash! Rainbow Dash!'. The Wonderbolts observed her as she flew, and watched in awe as she ascended into the clouds to prepair for her finale... the Sonic Rainboom. She flew higher and higher and higher, and then she...
The door squeaked open and in walked the five bronies. Derpy quickly hid the toy in the chair and acted as if she just been sitting idly for the past hour or so. It would be awfully embarrasing for the bronies to see a mare her age playing with toys, and she wanted to keep the fact she knew the bronies knew about ponies a secret. Until she could ask one of them personally, preferably Henry, she really liked Henry. Speaking of him...
"Okay Derpy, we've all talked about it and we've decided to ask you who would like to stay with. At least until we can find out how to get you back to Equestria. We'll give you a minute to decide."
"I want to stay with you."
"Wait, with who?" said Kyle who seemed extremely hopeful Derpy was reffering to him.
"I want to stay with Henry." At this Kyle dropped his head and sighed, and Henry's kind eyes got wide.
"Oh, well that was fast. Um well bye guys." The bronies named Jaime and Stevie said goodbye to Henry and Kyle and left. Henry left to get something from his car. Whatever that is. Kyle sat on another chair with holes in the room where the bronies that had been talking in. He seemed really sad. Derpy walked up to him and sat on the ground beside him.
"Are you okay Kyle?"
" Yeah Derpy, I'm fine." Kyle said with one of those painful smiles you smile when your trying not to show other ponies your sad. " I'm just a little tired, its been a long day."
Henry walked through the front door. He had a black coat with a hood in his hand, which was probably what he was getting from the car. He told Derpy it was time to go, but Derpy had to do one more thing before she left. She gave her wings a flap and landed in Kyle's lap. She reached her hooves around him and rested her head on his shoulders. She walked over to Henry and looked back and said with a big wonderful goodbye smile,
"Bye Kyle."
She walked out the front door with Henry. She could hear Kyle jumping around inside. What a strange brony.
"I'm sorry I have failed you all. I did not complete my task and cost you all time and money. I promise that it will never happen again."
The gray haired man leaned back in his black leather chair and put his hands behind his head and his feet on the table.
The Anti-Derpy walked out of the room limping with her head hanging down and her wings dragging on the ground.
~Notes and such~
Beaster. Does anypony know how to do italics/bold? Last time I tried it deleted all of the anti derpy's dialouge and I'm afraid to try again.I'm guessing its pretty simple but I don't know if I'm doing it right. Anywho, we are now making progress, once again this chapter was shortened so I could technically say yes, I put out a chapter this week. Derpy was originally supposed to be at Henry's house already and questioning and stuff ensues but instead all you lovely attractive people will have to wait another week. I hope you like this chapter. Not much progression plot wise, but its 5 pages worth of Derp. chapter 3 will probably come out earlier than this one because I have monday off (thanks jesus) so I'll be working on the story bunches and bunches. Oh and Sunday night around midnight, a new chapter off '... and then I pulled out' will appear from the cosmos riding on a skateboard made out of glass. The new chapter will be completely unrelated to Pinkie and the Tabula Rusa tale.
Probably should have done more editing on this chapter but, I think its not too bad. fraternumhoof.
"SHE...SHE... SHE HUGGED ME! OH MY GOD SHE HUGGED ME! SHE TOUCHED ME! SHE ACTUALLY TOUCHED ME! SHE... SHE... OH MY GOD I'M GOING TO DIE OF HAPPINESS RIGHT NOW!"
Kyle had been jumping around his house rejoicing his embrace. Michael, Elvis, and that dub step guy would have been envious at Kyle's girations and twists. He was the king of the world, if only for a night. He only wished he could tell somone of his bliss. After about another 10 minutes of victory dancing, he got tired and plopped down onto his couch breathing heavily.
"Huh...ha ha... I've still got goosebumps. Oh man, my hands are shaking! HA HA! I don't think I'm going to be able to sleep tonight! Can't go to work then! "
Kyle dialed on his thumb and pinkie phone and put it up to his ear, "Sup boss. Hows it going you old fart. Just letting you know that I ain't going nowhere today. I got hugged by Derpy fuh-reakin Hooves, and I am recovering from injuries caused by awesomness! So you just throw yourself a little fit, and let your nose turn all red, because I don't care BITCH! I AM THE MOTHERFUCKING KING OF THE WORLD!" Kyle then stood up on his couch and then threw his hand phone on the ground and jumped off and stomped on it for good measure... symbolically of course.
Kyle then boogied his way towards his room to begin his pony filled sleepless night. He turned on his computer and pulled up his browser.
"Yeah! Guess who's watching some ponies... this guy! No stupid that's not what I clicked on! That's..."
Kyle then stared in shame at what was on his screen. It was a rule34 webpage dedicated to Derpy Hooves. Image after image of the pony he had just met and hugged. Kyle had visited this page often, it was one of his favorites, but now... it didn't give the same effect. Kyle X'ed out of the page and walked out of the room holding his head.
~Where can you find the fancy bread, in the heart, or in the head? - Willy Wonka ~
Outside of Henry's house, kids were heading back into their houses to escape the darkness of night, and stall their way to bed. The old men watching them were already fast asleep, snoring and drooling, cradling their beer bottles. The young kids were staying up late, to show the world how invincible, and tireless they thought they were, blasting music and exchanging curses, punches and emotions. A few mothers were huddled together on a dirty front porch across the street, puffing like chimneys, discussing what the strange, shy white boy from across the street was carrying into his house. They assumed simple familiar things like a child, a case of beer, something vauable, shiny and maybe illegal. They had no idea.
"Henry, do you have a horn?"
Henry stopped typing and slowly looked up at Derpy with a puzzled look.
"You know, like a unicorn, to do magic with and stuff." Derpy said making an imaginary horn with her right hoof (I'm assuming you know its her front one).
Henry chuckled and replied, "No, I don't have a horn, and this isn't magic its technology."
"Ooooooohhh, your one of those ponies, I mean bronies."
"What do you mean?"
"There are a few stuck up ponies in Canterlot that are trying to change ponies from saying their using magic into using 'technology'. Everyone thinks its dumb, and I think its unnecesary. Not saying your stuck up Henry, but this is obviously magic. Your carriage runs without coal, or ponies, thats magic too. If we called it 'technology', we would forget that magic is everywhere."
Henry smiled at the statement, "You know Derpy, I think your right." Derpy looked up and smiled back warmly.
Henry turned the computer towards Derpy who was sitting next to him.
"What's that?"
"That's what a pony looks like here."
"But, its all big and tall, and kinda ugly."
"Heh, yeah, they definitely look different here."
"What do the pegasi and unicorns look like?"
"We don't have them here, just ponies.Unicorns and pegasi are just things of legend here."
"What? So just ponies? " Henry replied with a nod.
"Okay... do you have any pony friends?" Derpy said hopeful that she would have somepony to talk to.
"Um... I used to have one when I was little but... um... ponies here don't talk. They can't think either, or at least make intelligent decisions, and make their own choices. For thousands of years they have been used on farms to pull plows, and ride around, but now we have tractors, and cars so people only have horses for pets and for races. Ponies don't do any real work, they just kind of, let people ride around on them and eat food people give them. "
Derpy hung her head in deep thought, concentrating on the impossible things Henry has just said. He didn't even talk about them like they had feelings, he just talked about them like they were old rusty machines. Overused tools who's only purpose is to collect dust in a forgotten corner of a shed. Meaningless entertainment, nothing more, but she couldn't be mad at him, he didn't spend an entire life in a place were these 'pets' were sorcerers, weather managers, farmers, and even royalty. No, he only talked this way out of his own experience, no need to be mad at him. Besides there was another thought wisping around inside her head.The one she had been most worried about.The one that Henry had just answered. Derpy slowly and somberly looked up to Henry, her eyes watering like dams ready to burst.
"So I guess that means I'm alone."
It hit him like a punch in the face. Henry realized the immense grief, isolation and despair the mare he had just taken under his wing must be going through. He couldn't begin to understand, he knew that, and he hated himself for it. He didn't know what to do, or what to say to reassure her that things would be okay, because she was right. She was completely alone, with no friends, family members, or even another creature of her own species, and there was a very high possibility that she might never return to her home. Henry, unable to think of what else to do, reached out to Derpy and pulled her in his arms and stroked her mane. Derpy returned the embrace, squeezing Henry hard, and crying on his shoulder.
"No Derpy, your not alone, you have me and all my friends. I told you this back at Kyle's house, as long as you stay with us, you'll be safe. We won't stop working to find a way to get you back, I promise.We'll do whatever it takes to get you home, but until that time comes, you have a home, and a have a family and its right here."
"*sniff* Th...thanks Henry." Derpy said looking up at him with tear filled eyes and a small grin. Henry wiped a tear of off her face, and hugged her for about a minute more, when suddenly he heard a rumbling sound that didn't come from him.
Derpy laughed sheepishly and grabbed her stomach.She hadn't eaten anythin since this morning, if it was still Saturday, and after all she had been through she was famished, but if Henry's fridge was empty.Hmmm....
"Henry, I don't want to be a bother, but could you get me something to eat? I didn't have lunch and I'm really hungry after everything that happened today."
"Of course Derpy! I'm sure there are still places open, its only about 7:30. Did you feel like anything in particular?" Henry asked grabbing his jacket and his keys. Derpy tapped her chin and thought about it.
"We have fries made out of potatoes."
"That sounds really weird, but I guess I'll give it a try."
"Okay, I'll pick up some other things for the rest of the week. I might be a while so just make yourself at home." Henry waved goodbye and was walking towards the doorway, when Derpy flew off of the couch and grabbed his arm.
"Wait! What am I supposed to do while I'm here?"
"Oh, um... I guess you can hang out in the guest bedroom, let me fix it up for you." Henry walked over to the cluttered room Derpy had been hiding in while flying around the house. He pressed a small switch on the wall and the whole room was instantly filled with light hurting both of their eyes. Now that Derpy could get a good look at the room she noticed it contained a small bed pushed to the corner of the opposite wall, a desk and another illuminating mirror. Oh and it had boxes scattered around the floor, and a small hole in the wall about the size of a hoof(according to Derpy's inspection of it) and all the furniture had a thin layer of dust on it. It looked like it had been occupied before, but said occupant departed in anger. Henry said nothing about the room, or its condition. He picked up all the boxes and put them into the room's closet and shut the door, cutting himself off from whatever memories those boxes had inside of them.
"Those were just from my old roommate, he was pretty lazy, and when he moved away recently he just left everything lying around." Henry said dusting of the furniture and not looking at Derpy.
"She... I mean he said they won't be coming back for anything, so this room is officially yours." Henry said not looking at Derpy. Derpy suspected that something might be amiss, but she didn't say anything. She was just grateful to have a place to stay. She helped Henry dust off the rest of the room with her wings and then settled in on the bed. Henry pulled out a large box out of the closet with a bunch of large dominos in it. He pressed a button on the side of the illuminating screen and it... well illuminated. A blue screen faded in and that was all, what could it be used? He then put one of the dominos into a little machine under the screen and then it started whirring, and then music started playing and moving images of chocolate appeared on the screen. Derpy jumped up and flew towards the screen and slowly pressed her hooves on it, but she couldn't feel the chocolate, all she felt was the cold glass screen. She licked it and then made a funny face when she tasted the metallic sour glass. She flew in midair, and then turned around and saw Henry laughing at her.
"I don't get it, why can't I taste it?"
After Henry caught his breath he said, "It's not real, its only images. This is something called film, it was made a long time ago, basically you take thousands of pictures, one after the other and record audio for it and play all those images back really fast, and it looks like its happening in real life. This was one of my favorite movies, It was from the 80's I think. It's called 'Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory'. I think you'll like it." Henry said with a smile.
"If this ends before I'm back. just press this little button right here that says eject, put it back in its case, and then just put another one in. Oh, and make sure to put it in on the right side, or it won't go in. Bye Derpy!"
"Henry wait!" Derpy called out as Henry was about to open the door. She flew over to him and gave him a big hug, catching him by surprise. He returned the gesture and they both said their goodbyes and then he left. Derpy returned to watching the 'film' about chocolate and the brony Henry called Willie Wonka.
"Oh Jesus! Watch where your going a-hole! " Henry shouted narrowly missing a passing car driven by a teenager who was driving under the influence of his overconfidence.
"Okay, focus Henry, you've got to take care of that mare at all costs. You've got to make sure that nothing happens to her, and that she doesn't get taken away. Yes, leaving her alone on her first night here isn't the best idea, but you don't have any food because you are lazy bastard. You can't be a lazy bastard anymore Henry, you've got to take care of two now. BUT SERIOUSLY, FUCKIN DERPY HOOVES IS MY ROOMMATE. THIS IS SO AMAZING!"
Henry drove to a Mickey D's and bought some fries, and bought himself something to eat. He sat down at one of the plastic tables, and texted Kyle, Jaime, and Stevie to meet him and talk some more about "you know who". Twenty minutes later, all the bronies were assembled and chomping down burgers and fries, except for Kyle who said he wasn't hungry for some reason.
"We need to give her a codename so we can talk about her in public." said Jamie, with a mouth full of fries.
"Can't we just call her she?"
"No, because eventually one of us will slip up, and then somepony... dammit I did it again."
"You do that too?" Stevie said.
"Yeah, every once in a while, I do. Anyway someONE will overhear us, and if on the rare occasion a brony hears us..."
"Then we just tell the brony we were discussing a fanfic, and then discuss ponies with him, and never bring her up again."
"Whatever, does anyone have a suggestion?" Stevie suggested they call her Alice, since she was teleported to a strange world. Jaime suggested they call her Diana, because of the initial D. Kyle stayed silent and let his drink go watery while staring down at the table..
"What about Veruca Salt?"
"Why would we call her Veruca Salt?"
"Because I put on Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory for her to watch at home."
"Oh really? I love that movie. God, I haven't seen it in years though." Jaime said.
"Me neither, but I don't think Derpy is anything like Veruca, I think Alice is a good name."Stevie said. Both Henry and Jaime agreed, Kyle didn't make a sound. Henry noticed and asked him what was wrong. Kyle looked up and said,
"You sure it was an accident?" Jaime said jokingly.
"YES IT WAS FUCKING ACCIDENT!" Kyle said almost yelling, drawing the attention of several people surrounding them.
"Yeah well I've had enough of your kidding Jaime. " Kyle said turning red.
He looked like he was going to stand up and give Jaime a piece of his mind, until Henry put his hand on his shoulder and said,
"Hey, take it easy man I believe you. Now say what you were going to say."
"There is not much to say. I felt so horrible, and guilty. I walked away feeling disgusted with myself, and I've felt down since then. Its going to be weird the next time i see her."
"Speaking of her, whose watching her Henry?" said Stevie
"Nobody."
The other bronies, including Kyle turned towards Henry and each gave their own personal expressions questioning Henry's judgement. Kyle was first to speak up.
"What do you mean shes alone? You live in a ghetto neighborhood, what if somone breaks into your house and finds her?!?"
"It hasn't happened before."
"I haven't been hit by a car before, that doesn't mean I'm going to go play red rover on the free way!!!" said Kyle getting flustered.
"Nice example."
"Shut up Stevie! Henry, what if she leaves the house and flies around and something happens to her!?!?"
"Oh great! Now shes going to watch Terminator or some shit and think were all a bunch of murderers!"
"Oh, I didn't think about that."
"Am I the only one whos wondering how exactly she would grasp a VHS tape?" said Jaime
"I was wondering the same thing. Cause she has like, hooves, so how is she going to hold on to it. And how is she going to use the remote?" Stevie said.
" You guys always do this. Look Henry, if you want I'll get the groceries for you, so you can make sure shes alright."
"Yes I am. I love that pony, immensly, and I want nothing bad to happen to her while she is here. I don't mind going out of my way to do things for her because I want her to have the best experience on earth possible. I care about her that much."
"DAAAAAWWWWWW!" Stevie said rubbing Kyle's shoulder. Instead of lashing out, Kyle just smiled and stole some of Stevie's fries.
"Your going to have to pay for those groceries though."
"Of course, I'll make a list and give it to you along with the money. If I come up short, then just tell me and I'll pay you back."
"No problem buddy, brohoof."
"NO! What was going to happen?" Derpy said as she flew towards the television. She knocked on the screen several times, and then stopped when she heard the sound of breaking glass down the hallway. She froze in fright, and then flew and turned off all the lights in the room, and hid in a corner. She could distinctly hear two voices speaking.
"Nobody is here. You check the bedrooms, and I'll check the kitchen and the living room."
"What if there are any dogs?"
"I don't care. You've got a gun, kill em."
~
So its summer now in case you guy and gals didn't know, so I will be updating the story, slightly more often. If anyone is still reading it. I'm also thinking about changing the title so it will be easier to find. any suggestions I guess just comment down there. But along with this, I will be starting another project with X528pa, one musical and one which will be the first consistent brony themed video game playthrough type thing EVER. and another story idea, as well as a collection of poems. yeah I write poetry too. and my own youtube series, without the show airing, I won't be as distracted from any brony projects, and the fact that their is no school helps.
So theres all that stuff we are doing, and sorry, very sorry, extremely sorry about the giant gap between the two chapters. This chapter is pretty long thought, and I only recently did the ending to it.
Home is where the Derp is
This really should have been longer, and had lots more stuff in it. but.... I've been reading my second life A LOT. I apologize greatly and I would promise to make the next chapter bigger, but I don't know if it will be. This is kind of embarassing, only 5 pages in a week. Here you guys, listen to this while you read, it helped inspire the chapter and the next one which i am working on now.
(One hour before Derpy and and Henry left for Henry's home.)
"You sure she's not going to fly out the window Kyle?"
"Yeah, my Mom put in those window bar thingies so I wouldn't run away when I was little."
"Why do you still have them on?"
"Because I kidnap people and keep them prisoner for months at a time and then chop them up and cook them in chinese food dishes and sell them for four bucks a pop. Naw, I'm kidding, it's cause I'm lazy."
"I really fucking hope she didn't hear you man."
Their were five bronies left. They and the others had set the day aside for raiding McDonalds of their pony toys and returning to Kyle's house, were they would watch the new episode together.While browsing for the episode, they stumbled upon a video entitled, 'Derpy's new voice'. After watching the video, and several others, the bronies were furious at the change and agreed they should start a petition, and create fan art, and videos and any sort of material that would inform Hasbro and the Hub of their grief. Not that it would really do any good, yaknow, just letting out steam. They had no idea of just how complex the situation was. Then they heard the sound of spilling drinks and clanking soda cans. That's when things changed.
Many of the bronies were enthusiastic at first at the notion of caring for Derpy, but all came to the realization that she was not a pet, or a child. She was a full grown woman practically, and would have questions that needed to be answered, and needs that needed to be met. Most of them didn't feel up to the task, and several couldn't because they still lived with their parents. Parents and ponies don't mix. Slowly the number decreased as bronies realized they weren't qualified for the job. The five were sitting in Kyle's living room in his small house that he had bought from his parents. It had been the location of several brony meet ups, but of course none as eventful as this one.
"How the fuck did she even get here?" said Ted pushing his hair back as he said it.
"I don't know, but do you think it might have anything to do with the voice change?" said Kyle.
"No that's ridiculous." said Stevie.
"No, remember she was saying something about like a... a..." Henry snapped his fingers trying to remember the word.
"A doppleganger! Yeah, she had a doppleganger with normal eyes and a different voice, remember that!"
"Oh damn... dude, do you think...?"
"Yeah, it makes perfect sense. The other Derpy came and replaced her and instead of killing her, sent her here, where she could never return to Equestria. That way she could take care of her without killing her." said Henry
All the bronies simulataneously looked at him.
"I'm not saying I wanted her to! I'm just asking why she didn't."
" I don't know, maybe there is more to this mare than..."
" Guys, were getting off topic!" shouted Kyle. "Who's taking care of Derpy?"
"Not you Kyle."
"WHYDAFUHQNOT?"
"We've seen your browser history. Obsessed doesn't begin to describe how much you like her."
"Hey keep it down! You guys love the ponies too!"
"Yeah but you like her more than most."
"34 times as much to be exact."
Stevie, Jaime and Ted laughed together and Kyle slipped farther back in his chair and staired at the ground in shame, and embarrasment.
"Hey guys lay off, We've all seen it at least once." said Henry defending Kyle.
"Not me!" said Ted.
"Bullshit Ted."
"No, ponyshit."
"Oh my God! I'm totally going to use that now!"
"Now were way off topic."
"But its a hot topic!"
"That was downright terrible."
"Are you guys going to watch the Aquabats Super Show?"
"Derpy's going to be fucking homeless."
( Back to the Future)
"Derpy I'm going to need you to put this on your head, and I need to carry you to the car."
"...Why?" Seriously, why? Were other bronies that scared of ponies? Derpy would think that it wouldn't be the first time they saw a pony. After all, they made toys out of them, so they had to have seen them a lot.
"Well, because other people would be really scared, well not scared but... hmmph. I'll explain later Derpy."
Henry wrapped Derpy in the jacket and carried her gently to his car. Derpy peeked out from the jacket to see what it looked like. It was a large, metal, oddly shaped carraige with rubber wheels. It had two divided windows on each side, and two wide windows on the front and the back. it was a dark, almost black blue , and light was pouring out of two little slots on the front of the car. Henry opened the back left door and set Derpy down inside. Derpy looked at the napkins,pens, papers, and weird shiny discs that littered the floor of the car. All kept company by a single can and a transparent bottle that looked like it was filled with water,over looking the trash.Henry got into the door that had the wheel in front of it, along with a whole bunch of buttons and levers and other stuff. Henry stuck a key in a little hole next to the wheel and the car began to rumble and illuminate. Derpy squealed at the sounds and movement but Henry reassured her it was just the engine. Derpy thought Henry just didn't want to explain what the sounds really were, because come on, how do you fit a train engine in such a little carriage? There wasn't even any coal in the car.
As Henry was driving along, Derpy looked out the window making sure to keep the jacket on her head. What she saw amazed her beyond what words could say, but since this is a story, with text, we must try. The world of the bronies was filled with lights. Lights of all colors, shining and fading and changing, all over. Bronies could probably stay out all night if they wanted to! And the number of bronies! There were hundreds at least, all unique, and all so interesting. Short ones, tall ones, fat ones, skinny ones. Ones with pictures on their body, ones with weird rings on their face, ones with HUGE hoops in their ears! There was one with a weird spiky mane cut that kinda looked like Zekora's, but it was all green. Bronies didn't have green hair usually, mostly it was brown, blackish, or blond like Derpy's. The colors of their skin weren't very different either. They were all about the same color, some were just lighter or darker than others. There were dozens of other weird carrages, of different colors and sizes, but they weren't as interesting as the bronies. Some were talking into little boxes, some had wires running out of their ears, and some were riding on little planks of wood with wheels. Kinda like Scootaloo's scooter, but without the handle bar. So strange, but so... diverse, and individualistic. Once again Derpy felt a little odd being naked while literally EVERY brony was wearing clothes. Derpy had one thing on her mind though...
"Henry?" she asked while still peering at the many bronies.
"Mmhm Derpy?"
"Why don't any of the other bronies talk to each other?"
"They talk to each other... oh, do mean why don't they talk to strangers?"
"What's that?"
"Somone, or somepony who you've never met before."
"Hey, how did you know ponies call each other somepony?" Derpy asked looking away from the window.
"Oh, it was just a guess. You know, just like... sombody, somepony, it kinda sounded like it would fit." Henry said while scratching his wrist. Derpy was a little suspicious, but she had decided she would hold all her questions until she got to Henry's house.
"So, bronies can't talk to strangers?"
"Technically Derpy, they are called people, and its not that they can't talk to strangers, its that they choose not to."
"Why not? There is this pony in my town called Pinkie Pie and she talks to every pony that walks into Ponyville. She was the first pony I met in Ponyville, she even threw me a party!"
Henry grinned and held back a giggle thinking about Pinkie Pie throwing Derpy a party. He regained his composure and said "Well... I'll explain it to you at the house Derpy, make sure to stay down, we're almost there. " Derpy pulled the jacket around her closer and looked at the neighborhood they were entering. It looked a little... dirty, and old, and in the dark it looked kind of scary. There were young bronies running around and playing in the cracked streets, and old bronies were sitting around outside. They all looked like they were mad at somepony, or they looked like they were regretting something. Like there was something they wished they had done long ago, but it was too late now. The houses were falling apart, peeling paint, missing bricks, broken windows, boarded up windows and signs that said 'FORECLOSURE'. Some houses had loud music blaring out of them, saying mean hurtful things, and saying weird words like; swag, airy day, and bitches. Derpy was going to ask about the words, but she remembered what Henry said. She hoped that his house was much nicer than these ones. "Here we are." Henry said pulling into the driveway with a hint of pride in his voice. Derpy let out a sigh of relief. Henry's house was MUCH nicer than all the other houses. First of all, it had a lawn. Lush green grass with a big tree in the middle. The house didn't have any peeling paint or missing anything, it was a bright yellow inviting house. Now to see what it looked like inside.
Henry carefully carried Derpy inside making sure to cover her from the view of his nosy neighbors. Henry turned on the lights revealing a house that was not to small, and not large enough for an echo. It had very little furniture and another one of those illuminating glasses. It basically had what all houses have, you know, windows, a kitchen a bedroom and a bathroom. Derpy didn't know this though, and as soon as Henry had put her down, she began flying around the house looking at all of Henry's things.
"Whoa! Henry what's all this stuff in your kitchen?"
"Derpy, come back here! I have to talk to you!"
"WOW! What are all these weird gadgets you've got? Are you a scientist? Or an inventor? What does this do?"
"No Derpy I'm not either one, and please put down my toaster!" Henry said, trying not to get flustered.
Derpy then flew out of the kitchen and flew into the guest bedroom, which was dark and cluttered. Henry came in after her but after not seeing her, walked out. This room didn't have as many of the cool gadgets the kitchen did, so she flew back into the kitchen and inspected a strange wardrobe in there. She opened it and saw only a few rotten vegetables, and some prepackaged food. Derpy decided she would do Henry a favor and throw away this nasty food, but when she tried to get out she couldn't push the door open. She also noticed it was starting to get cold.
"Oh no! Maybe I'm locked in here, and Henry can't get me out? What If i freeze? "
"Derpy? Where are you?"
"Henry? Henry! Help me! I can't get out!"
Henry opened the door of the wardrobe and Derpy flew into his arms knocking him back a little bit.
"Are you okay Derpy?"
"Yeah just a little cold."
"Come on Derpy, I want to talk to you about something."
Henry carried her into the living room, put her on the couch and wrapped her in a blanket. Derpy shivered a little bit and brought a smile to Henry's face.
"Derpy, what were you doing my fridge?"
"Is that what that was? Well, I saw you had some old food in their, and I was going to empty it." Henry burst out laughing and quickly put his hand over his mouth to muffle it. Pony empuzzlment ensued.
"Umm, what was so funny Henry?"
"Hah... oh nothing, now back to what I was saying, I need to talk to you about something." Henry said catching his breath.
"Well, that's part of the question I was going to ask you. I saw the pony toys at Kyle's house, and I wanted to ask you privately how bronies knew about ponies."
" WAIT, you saw those!?"
"Um, yeah, should I not have?"
"No its not that you shouldn't, its just that... *sigh* its hard to explain Derpy." Henry sat down next to Derpy and let out another big sigh. Derpy scooted closer to Henry and nudged him a little with her head and then gave him a comforting look.
