Twilight was casually reading one of her guilty pleasures, Cosmarepolitan, when she started hearing strange noises coming from upstairs.
-whump!- laughter, and then running. She really didn’t pay any mind to it. Shadow or the boys were probably hanging pictures or something. She wasn’t really paying attention to how long she’d been occupied, and usually left those three to their own devices.
-whump!- more laughing, more running, and then another -whump!-
“What in Equestria are those boys up to?” She said to herself, closing her magazine gingerly and laying it on the end table next to her. Fluttershy had somehow convinced her to read what Twilight usually considered uninformative drivel, and had been hooked ever since. She found popular culture fascinating, especially concerning mares.
“Probably just Spike and Star messing around with some wood chunks…”
She ascended the stairs easily, and trotted up the hallway to where the ruckus was coming from. What she saw when she opened the door, she almost couldn’t comprehend.
+++
Still trying to stifle a fit of giggles, Spike cried gleefully “Again Shadow! do it again!”
Spike went flying across the room, encased in a crimson aura which could only belong to her Idiot husband, ShadowFoot.
“Me next, me next!” Star screeched, galloping as fast as he could across the room, and then went flying across the room as well, in the same fashion as Spike.
Twilight now noticed the pile of cushions, pillows, and other assorted soft things piled up against the wall with a visible crater in the middle.
“WHAT IN CELESTIA’S NAME ARE YOU DOING, SHADOW?!” Twilight screeched, stopping all three in their tracks. All three blushed profusely, as if they were three young boys caught looking through dad’s “special” magazines.
“Twilight, I can explain.” Shadow said sheepishly.
“You better have a good one for tossing the boys across the room with your magic. Which I didn’t even know you could do.”
“Well, you were reading your magazine, and the boys were bored, so we went outside to play, then it started raining, then we were all bored again, so we came inside, and you were still reading, so we made our own entertainment.”
“Which was throwing the boys across the room. How is that a good idea?”
“Never said it was. But anyway, we were bored, so we made a game called “Shadow Tag.” If they can “tag” me before getting thrown across the room, they get to go to Sugarcube corner and each get a treat , on my dime.”
“On your dime? What in equestria is that?”
“Explain later. Anyway, they still haven’t tagged me, and we’re still bored, so here you have it.” Shadow smiled, hoping to buy her off with his pearly whites.
“Yeah Twilight! It’s wicked fun!” Spike spoke up.
“Yeah yeah, and we can get a feeling of what it’s like to fly!” Star squealed excitedly.
Twilight facehooved audibly. “No, just no.” She said, taking a minute for herself.
“No more Shadow Tag.”
“But honey…” Shadow started, Spike and Star chiming in with similar sentiments.
“And you, Shadow, no “cuddles.” for you tonight, buddy. You could have seriously hurt one of them, and that is no example to set for a young colt who’s going to be use his own magic one day.
“Fine.” Shadow grunted, Star and Spike sighing audibly.
“If you three are really that bored, you three are responsible for dishes tonight.”
“Nevermind, we’re not bored anymore!” The three said in sync, dodging past Twilight.
"Celestia above, they drive me crazy, but I do love them. what will I ever do with those three...back to my magazine. 20 things your Stallion will beg you for, eh?”
Downstairs, the boys had no idea they had just been played like violins. But they were still about to go demolish sugary goodies, and therefore, drive Twilight bonkers for the rest of the night.
***
"Shadow, what do we do now, Star asked sadly.
"Get your Raincoat on, Star. We’re going to sugarcube corner, like I promised. You coming, Spike?” Shadow asked.
“And miss out on free donuts? no chance!”
After they gathered at the door, they had left, Twilight taking no notice of their departure.
“Ooh...that sounds like fun….wonder if he’d like it.” Twilight mumbled to herself, only faintly hearing a door close somewhere.
***
“I wonder if Pinkie’s around today.” Star thought out loud.
“Probably. It is Monday, I’d wager she’s covering the cakes for their lunch break.” Shadow said, dreaming of a huge piece of warm chocolate cake and a hot cup of cider.
“Cupcakes sound good. I wonder if they have any strawberry ones.” Star squeaked, hiding behind Shadow. He didn’t mind the rain until it got into his face.
“I want a chocolate donut with chocolate frosting, chocolate sprinkles, and chocolate chips.” Spike said, drooling.
“So, heartburn city?” Shadow asked.
“I burp fire and eat jewels. Heartburn doesn’t apply to me.”
“What’s heartburn, Shadow?” Star asked. It sounded bad.
“well, when you eat too much sugary or greasy stuff, your body gets mad and makes your throat hurt.”
“What?”
“Well, basically, remember that time you thought the hot sauce was Apple Juice?”
“Yeah. I couldn’t look at that bottle for two days.”
“And that burning sensation that didn’t go away for a few hours?”
“Yeah.”
“That’s heartburn.”
“So, l shouldn’t eat any more cake or cupcakes or pie?” Star said, sadly.
“You can, just not a lot of it.”
“Oh.”
With that, they walked into Sugar Cube Corner , where Pinkie nearly squeezed the breath out of them in a bone-cracking hug.
“Hi guys! I was super duper bored! nopony has come in at all today!!” She said, her mane deflating for a split second.
“Too...hard...Pinkie…” Shadow gasped, his eyes rolling back in his head for a moment.
“Sorry Shadow!” She let go immediately, Shadow collapsing to the floor, while the boys looked on with mild disinterest. They really didn’t care that Shadow had almost been squeezed to death. They wanted sweets.
“Pinkie, what kind of goodies have you guys got today?” Spike asked.
“Anything you want, Spike! I just cleaned everything so I can make anything!”
“How about a chocolate everything donut?”
“How about a full dozen?!” Pinkie shrieked.
“And some of those strawberry cupcakes!” Star shouted, clambering up onto a stool by the counter, nearly tipping it over.
“Herk...bleh….pony...dying here….” Shadow grunted, finally recovering.
“Oh. We forgot you were here, Shadow.”
“But you remember who’s paying for this, right? I need the biggest cup of coffee you have and two blueberry muffins.” Shadow finally sat next to the boys, smiling.
“Coming right up, guys!” Pinkie darted off in typical Pinkie fashion.
“So boys, any idea on what we’re doing next?” Shadow asked.
“Well, anything at home is out of the question.” Spike said.
“How about the playground?” Star asked.
“Twilight would kill me if I brought you home coated in mud.” Shadow said. And then an idea came to him.
“We’re gonna have a mudball fight.” Shadow said triumphantly. “I’ll teach her for ruining my cuddle time!”
“What, why? I like cuddles.” Star said nonchalantly.
“Not what I meant, kid.” Shadow said.
“What did you mean?”
Shadow now pulled a liar face that would rival Applejack’s. “Nothing, Star, nothing.” Shadow said, looking around and suddenly being very interested in the polka-dot walls. Now that all the sweet treats had been cooked, it was time to get them gone. They all raced to their finishes, and when the boys had gotten their fill, Shadow paid the tab.
“Ok boys, you’re both crazy hyper, and what I want you to do, Simply, is grab handfuls of mud and throw them at each other. don’t hit in the face or mouth, but everywhere else is fair.”
“And what do we do after we’re done?”
“You two go home to Twilight, and I disappear for a few hours. It’s pure genius!”
“But won’t we get in trouble?” Star said, worriedly.
“Nope. Twilight will blame me for letting you do it!”
“That’s bad though, right?”
“You’d think so, but what really happens is..” Shadow stopped himself, remembering he was in the presence of kids and not grown adults.
“Cuddles.” Spike finished.
“That’s really smart, Shadow!” Star said. Shadow would still get cuddles even though he wasn’t supposed to.
“Have at it boys, before the sugar wears off!”
And the mudballing commenced.
+++three hours later+++
Twilight was cooking dinner when she heard the door open and close. She happily greeted the boys and her husband, but was not happy when she saw Star and Spike, covered head, to toe, to claw, to hoof, in mud.
“Shadow, what the heck is wrong with you?! why did you let them do this?!” Twilight screeched, mouth agape.
”We were bored, Twilight. And how could one resist a good old mudballing?” Shadow laughed.
“There is something seriously wrong with you.” Twilight groaned. “Let’s go boys. Bath time. Now. Shadow, go entertain yourself, cause I won’t be. You’ve caused enough ruckus for one day.”
“Will do love. The gentlecolts up the street invited me over for drinks and poker. buh-bye.”
Twilight sighed and facehooved. She was gonna kill him one of these days.
***
A couple hours later, Shadow had won a fair few bits in the game, and had used them to get Twilight a dozen roses. A little grease never hurt the wheels.
“Honey, I'm home!!” Shadow called, locking the door behind him.
“Finally, the prodigal stallion returns” Twilight called from upstairs.
“Well, how did you like bath time with the boys?” Shadow asked Twilight as he came upstairs, not yet seeing her.
“Do you know how hard is is to get the the base of the feathers in a wing? do you? and Celestia forbid dragon scales come clean with anything but a steel wire pad!” Twilight shouted from the bathroom.
“Sounds like a party. It was fun though, wasn’t it?” Shadow asked. He enjoyed pushing Twilight’s buttons, for reasons only known to him.
“OH, and you know that luxurious mane on Star’s head? It was still dripping mudwater after the rest of him was clean! by all rights you should sleep outside!”” Twilight yelled.
“You’re probably right, but who would keep you warm?” Shadow said smoothly, stopping just outside the bathroom door. he was liable to end up with a second horn on his forehead if he went anywhere near his wife right now. She liked to throw things.
“Well, I do have a heating pad and plenty of blanket. I don’t really need you, for anything.” She shot back.
“Fine, I’ll go sleep on the couch.” Shadow grunted. No cuddles tonight, it seemed.
