Chapters The Conversion Bureau: Reality Break
You know what I like about the universe? It’s big, unfathomably big. Think about it this way: our entire galaxy is but a speck of dust in the majesty that is universe. An individual in the universe is such an insignificant part of the universe that their entire existence wouldn’t even be the tiniest blip in the cosmos.
But I like being infinitesimally small. Why? It puts everything in perspective. Yeah, I had problems, everyone has problems. I was a bit socially awkward, I spent way too much time online; stuff like that. But in the grand scale of things, those problems were nothing.
I really wish I could say the same about my current situation. I was a pony. No, I was a cartoon given form in reality. I had wings, wings that must have defied every law of physics known to man. Before today, I had thought reality was solid, now I was a wrecking hammer to the concrete of the universe. I was scared out of my mind.
“John, how did this happen?” Mary continued to look over my equine form, amazement on her face.
“I-I don’t know!” I screamed. “But it’s wrong, very very wrong!”
“But this is what fans dream about all the time. You even got wings, you can fly now!”
The thought of spitting in Newton’s face terrified me even more. I quickly tucked the wings back to my sides. “T-that’s the p-point!” I couldn’t speak clearly, fear was running through my veins. “T-that’s all they are... a-all they were: dreams!”
Mary now saw how scared I was. “Okay John, just take some deep breaths, I’m sure this will all work out.”
“Work out? Work out?!” Mary! I’m a f*^king horse! A talking flying horse. I’m a violation of everything that should be possible!” My eyes wildly darted around the room. I expected the apocalypse any second. I desperately wanted a Bible, a Torah, something holy. I’m not even that religious, I just wanted something to take solace in.
“Um, let’s just go through everything. Did anything happen last night that might have caused this?”
“Aside from reality crumbling? No. I was just sick like I had been. I threw up a little sometime in the middle of the night. Then I chugged some medicine and pa–” I stopped. The medicine helped people with colds sleep, but it took a bit of time to take effect. No off-the-shelf medicine could have knocked me out that fast. Then I remembered the artificial grape taste of the medicine. “Oh my god!” I darted over to my medical supplies.
“What is it?” Mary said with concern.
“Reality becoming fiction, that’s what!” I scanned the supplies and then my eyes fell on an empty cup and an open bottle. I looked just like a standard bottle of cold medicine. Only there were no labels on the bottle. I noticed there was a small dribble of purple liquid near the top of the bottle. It shimmered with an unnatural glow.
Then I saw the letter next to the bottle. No, it was more of a scroll. A familiar looking scroll. I scooted it closer with a wing, careful not to spill whatever was in the bottle. Once it was close, I tried uncurling it, but I couldn’t manage it with my wings or my mouth. “Mary, I need some help, uncurl this for me.”
“Right,” she walked over grabbed the scroll and easily uncurled it. I desperately missed my hands. “Do you want me to read it?”
“No, I’ll read it, I can at least do that much... can you just hold it open?” Can’t even read a letter without assistance, super. I began to read the letter:
Young One,
You have been selected to start the conversion process. We know this may be sudden to you, but time is of the essence. However, the choice is still yours as to whether you cast off your humanity or endure it. But know that both Equestria and Earth rest on your decision. So we ask you, whether you drink or not, to spread our word and reignite magic. There should be enough for four more converts. Please find the other seeds as soon as possible. We will try to contact you again soon.
By Royal Decree of Princess Celestia, Monarch of Equestria
I looked at the letter for a very long time. Somehow, it was the thing that was most wrong with my room. I could read it clearly, but it had to have been something pulled out of a dream. There was no way it actually existed. Then again, I was now a pegasus, so my judgement call on what was real and what was fiction was shaky at best.
Then I remembered my dream. Only it hadn’t been a dream at all, it’d been a vision. My one chance to talk with the rulers of Equestria and my damn alarm clock had ruined it. If I hadn’t already broken it, I’d stomp it repeatedly with my hooves. Crap, crap crap! Now where do I get he – there was one place I could go. There were people who had experienced this before, well not experienced being turned into a pony, but they’d written about it at least.
“So what’s it say John?” Mary seemed very anxious to look at the letter.
“Mary, it just got real.” My own words felt disbelieving. I was getting a little afraid to fall asleep again. Things might be normal in my dreams from now on. “Do you read pony fics?”
“Not really, I think Nate or Sean are more into fics. I mean, remember that time Sean wrote that horrible clo–”
“Mary! Focus!” I thanked god that my brain had still been rational enough to have not called either one of them. Sean and Nate had gotten me into MLP and they made my fandom for the show look miniscule. If they saw me now... I think the whole campus– no, the whole city would know I was a pony by noon. Mary wasn’t even that big a fan and she was ecstatic about my transformation. Couldn’t she see how dire the situation was? “Listen to me carefully, I need you to get on my computer and contact some people.” I trotted over towards my computer.
“Oh! Is this some world-wide thing?” She’d skimmed the letter while I was trying to walk. She was eagerly eyeing the bottle.
“Mary! You drink that and I’ll buck you in the face!” I’d said another ponyism. I felt lightheaded for a second. “Please come over here.” I stomped a hoof by my desk. “I’ll give you instructions... then you can have whatever you want.” The letter’s words were scrawled across my brain as I spoke. Make more converts . That was the order I’d been given by an entity I thought was just a cartoon until now. But Celestia was real, Equestria was real. I didn’t want to condemn anyone else to the situation I was currently in, but somewhere deep in my heart, a voice cried out telling me conversion was right.
“Okay, what’s your password?” Mary was sitting next to me in my chair. I’d probably never fit in it given my current form. I gave her the password; what use was it if I couldn’t even type anymore? My computer might as well have been a slab of metal, hooves were useless on a keyboard.
“Open up my internet browser and click the bookmark farthest to the right.” She followed my instructions as I spoke. The page in front of her was a link to various IRC channels. I only needed one. I prayed someone was on. “Now in that top space scroll down until you reach a server called ‘geekshed’ then for the ‘name’ space fill it in with ‘FMP’ and for the channel fill it with ‘#TCB.’” Please someone be on.
The screen shifted and now it had a chatroom format. I scanned the right side of the screen, looking to see if anyone was on that the time. I cursed that Chatoyance never came to IRC, she could have probably been the most help dealing with something like this. But I wasn’t completely out of luck. Midnight and Krass were on and having some bizarre debate about cherry potion. I shivered at the thought of that nightmare occurring. Being turned into a pony had been terrifying enough, losing my masculinity would have been even worse. My arrival into the chat room hadn’t gone unnoticed.
Krass: sup newfoal
Midnight: who is this?
Krass: new guy he seems to like Chat’s stuff
Midnight: oh hello what’s going on?
“Mary type exactly what I tell you.”
FMP: Situation is bad. Potion is real need help.
Midnight: What?
Krass: You been smokin?
FMP: Accidentally drank potion last night. Woke up as pony. Having friend type for me.
Midnight: oh boy this should be interesting
Krass: Bullshit, pics or it didn’t happen
“Mary, open up a new tab and my my photo application.”
“Are you sure that’s...”
“Do it! This may be the only lifeline I’ve got.” The application was in the foreground while the new blank page sat in the background. “Now take a picture of me and then go to ponychan’s /fic/ board and go to a thread called ‘The Conversion Bureau: Tasty Tasty Grass Edition’ and post the picture there.”
With a few clicks, the deed was done. My face... my muzzle was online and anyone could see it. Seeing it on a computer screen just solidified reality for me; computers didn’t make mistakes the way humans did. Unless there was a glitch, it had taken a perfect picture of a brown pegasus. “Now go back to chat room.”
Midnight: did he leave?
FMP: check out the ponychan thread.
Krass: this should be funny
For a few minutes, the screen was still. I gazed intently at the it, awaiting a response. It came after about five minutes.
Midnight: is it shopped?
Krass: checked, I couldn’t find any editing
FMP: I’m telling the truth.
Krass: Holy shit
FMP: I need help. There’s still potion and a letter and I don’t know what to do.
The text couldn’t convey the desperation in my voice.
Midnight: Letter?
FMP: from the sun princess herself. I wouldn’t believe it if I didn’t have my friend to verify it.
Midnight: Jesus
Krass: What does it say?
Mary typed up the exact words of the letter.
Krass: Did I take something? I must have taken something to be seeing this.
Midnight: not unless I took the same thing. my god, this is heavy
FMP: What should I do?
There was another long period of stillness.
Krass: Start the bureaus. This is so insane but cool. So is like Celestia sending potion to everyone... no everypony?
Krass is insane. I don’t care if it’s text or not. No one throws away humanity that quickly. I’ve made a mistake talking to him.
Midnight: Krass, cool it. This is pretty freaky. You’re sounding like someone from the PER
FMP: I’m scared
Cloudhammer has entered #TCB
Cloudhammer: Hey what’s going on here?
Another frequenter of the TCB chat room, Cloudhammer was usually the one most likely to be online when I usually was.
Midnight: Shit just got real
Cloudhammer: What’s going on?
Krass: FMP was a lucky bastard and got the potion
Cloudhammer: What?
Midnight: He’s a pony now
Cloudhammer: for real?
Krass: check the thread on ponychan. You’ll shit bricks!
For a minute there was no movement on the board. Then Krass spoke up again
Krass: So... have you tried out the wings yet?
FMP: No. I’m terrified to even leave my room. What if the government sees me. They’ll find me and then they’ll interrogate me and then they’ll experiment on me.
I was crying by the end of the tangent. Mary was lightly petting my head. “John, it’ll be okay. We’ll keep you safe.”
Midnight: that sounds pretty rough.
Cloudhammer: I’m back... holy crap FMP what’s going on?
FMP: I don’t know, I had a dream with the Princesses but my clock woke me up.
Midnight: Shoot
Cloudhammer: Damn this sucks, if potion is real that can’t be a good sign
FMP: what should I do?
Krass: convert your friends? you have to start somewhere.
Midnight: also these “seeds” in the letter. perhaps there are others like you?
There were others... I could make others . The righteous feeling in my heart grew. I’m not alone. I’m not the only pony! A mad sense of relief and determination was seizing my mind now.
FMP: keep this as far under the radar as you can for now. We can’t start a panic because of this. Only tell other TCB writers, they might be able to offer advice.
Midnight: what are you going to do?
FMP: what Celestia commanded
Krass: heh, so did it really taste like artificial grape?
FMP: the worst. Midnight, thank everything holy it wasn’t cherry
Midnight: Oh... oh wow. Yeah definitely.
FMP: I’ll try to keep in touch, don’t be surprised if the news starts going crazy in a few days. If there are others, I bet a commotion will be started somewhere. We’re like a stack of dominoes, just waiting for one of us to fall and send the whole set up crashing.
Krass: save some potion for me!
Midnight: Me too!
Cloudhammer: If it’s the end of days I’m up for some as well.
FMP: RL friends are the immediate issue. Must go now, there is work to be done.
“You can close the window now.” Mary did as I asked and then looked anxiously at me.
“So can I have the drink now?”
“In a second.” My mind was swimming with ideas. I had essentially been given the liquid death of humanity, or at least the human body. I looked back and forth between her and the bottle. “We need to get someplace more secure first.”
“Where?”
I scanned my mind for a place, then I realized there was a place right down the hall where we could be safe for a while. “Mary, I need to you to got get Sybil, her room should be more secure than mine.”
“That’s right, she does have a single after all... why didn’t you call her first anyway? I mean she’s right down the hall.”
“There’s a reason we call her the ‘Pinkie Pie’ of our group. Given how you’ve been acting, she’d probably be screaming like a deranged fangirl at this.” I flapped my wings again.
“Sorry, it’s just that this is so cool. I mean ponies are real and we can become them. It’s so awesome. Wonder if I’ll be a pegasus or a unicorn? Earth pony is cool as well.”
I facehoofed. Couldn’t she see how insane this all was? I could understand conversion a little now, but there had to be regret for lost humanity somewhere in there. “Tell that to me when you can’t even walk right and you don’t have hands. Can you please just go get Sybil? Oh and if she screams, close her mouth.” I needed to at least have some control of the situation. Control made me feel a little better.
“Okay, I’ll be right back,” she said as she moved over to the door and left me alone in the room. I braced myself for the storm. I am so screwed . I’d given up trying to sort out reality and fiction, all I could do was pray things would work out.
There was an frenzied knocking at my door. I didn’t bother draping my covers over me this time. I didn’t want my tail to get stepped on again. The instant I opened the door, Sybil was in my face. “John, oh my god! This is so cool! I mean holy crap! Can...can I touch your wings?”
“Jesus, I knew this would happen. First, please calm down. You want me to be on the news tonight? Second, you can touch them is you help me.”
“Okay, okay,” she said in a whisper that was still filled with energy. “What do you need?”
“I need you to get me and the potion to your room.”
“Potion?”
“The stuff that did this to me.”
“Mary! You didn’t tell me there was stuff that could do this to us!” Now Sybil seemed like she was about to bounce off the walls. She excitedly turned back to me, “Can I have some?”
“Both of you!” I yelled and then checked my voice. “Listen to me. That,” I pointed a hoof at the bottle, I nearly lost my balance doing so, “is the largest powder keg in human history. We need to handle this calmly and as rational people.”
“Ponies,” Sybil chimed in. I swiftly kicked her in the shin. I was getting tired of their fantasy antics.
“That is the major issue: we are human, I am a human. Don’t you two comprehend how terrifying this is?” I stomped a hoof to the ground.
“Well I mean life does kinda suck,” Sybil seemed much more serious now. “I’ll have student loans to deal with, finding a job after college.”
“Dealing with drunk roommates,” Mary voiced her complaints as well. “Grades.”
“I can’t believe it, those are your complaints?” I was completely flabbergasted. Maybe it was because I considered life good. I came from a rich family, had good friends, went to a good school. Did I have bad days, yes: a D on a test there, an asshole here. But I could have never said life sucked. But now it was gone. “For god’s sake, this isn’t some fun game! I’m stuck like this now!” I was beginning to cry again. “Is that really what you want?!”
“John, remember what the letter said?” Mary was petting me again as she tried to comfort me. “I think this might be bigger than all of us. I mean if ponies exist, why haven’t they contacted us until now?”
“I don’t know!” I sobbed.
“Well, it sounds like they need our help and you saw what the guys online said. I know this wasn’t fair to you, but... we’ll help you through it.”
“She’s got that right,” said Sybil, “the show did have friendship in the title after all.”
Friends. That was right: neither Mary nor Sybil had run at the sight of me. They’d actually wanted to join me. Their eagerness to convert still confused me, but at least they were willing to stand by my side. “Okay,” I sniffled, “let’s get to Sybil’s room and then we can plan out from there. Mary, get my keys, we’ll need to take two trips.”
Mary walked back over to my desk and grabbed the lanyard that held my keys. “Got ‘em.”
“Okay.” I bit my sheets again and draped them over my body.
“Um, John,” Sybil was probably giving me a quizzical look, “what are you doing?”
“Not causing a panic. Here’s what I need you two to do...”
~~~
I couldn’t see the hallway, but the trip to Sybil’s room still felt like an eternity. I was bundled up in my covers along with a ton of my other clothes. I couldn’t wear them any more, but at least they seemed to be working as a camouflage. I prayed two girls taking a bunch of laundry to their room didn’t look suspicious.
I heard Sybil’s key unlock the door and then we were in the safe zone. They set me down on the floor and I squirmed out of my disguise. It took much more work as a pony to get out of tightly wrapped covers. I felt of few of my feathers bend oddly, but again, it was a minor pain that quickly faded.
The bigger issue was that the window-shades were open. Seriously, it looked like someone had cranked the world’s flare meter up to eleven. “Gah!” I put up my wings to cover my face.
“What wrong?” Both girls said in unison.
“Do you not see the supernova going on outside?” I’d pulled the cover back over my head. “Oh crap, is it Celestia? She’s not outside is she?!” The vision of Celestia coming down in a messianic fashion popped into my mind. At least that’d get the panic out of the way.
“John, what are you talking about? It’s not even that bright out today, might even rain a little.”
“Fine, fine! Just please shut the blinds!” Even under the covers with my eyes closed, I could still see the world ablaze outside. Then it was normal again. I tentatively stuck my head outside of the covers. I could still see the traces of the insane sunlight from behind the shades. “Okay, neither of you saw that?” They both shook their heads. “You didn’t see the world’s brightness get turned up to maximum? Arg! What is going on?!” I was still seeing spots from the partial blinding.
“Maybe...maybe it’s just how you see things now?” Mary posited. I was scared again. I’d thought my senses had remained the same. They had... just in artificial environments. “Oh god, I-I can’t eat anything.”
“What?” Sybil asked.
“My senses, they’re not mine... n-not human anymore,” I quivered.
“So you’ve got like super pony senses now?”
“I...I don’t know. But a cloudy day is now the sun staring me in the face! I can’t go outside, my brain will burst!” Of course the worst possible thing happened after I said that. My stomach grumbled loudly. By now, I’d usually be sipping a tea and eating a muffin for breakfast. Evidently, my senses had changed, but my stomach’s tendencies had remained. “Crap!”
“Um,” Mary looked around awkwardly, “do you need some food?”
“I don’t know! Anything I eat now might cause my tongue to explode!”
“I’ve got some Campbell’s.” Sybil walked over to where she kept her food and picked up an instant-can of chicken soup.
“That stuff’s probably poison to me now.” Great, I’m gonna die of starvation now. My stomach grumbled again, but as it did a something flashed in my mind... something tasty. “Apples.”
“What?” Sybil was giving me the quizzical look again.
“I don’t know, but apples sound really good right now.” My mind was flooding with all sort of apple dishes: the apple danishes at the library’s coffee shop, the pie they sometimes served in the cafeteria, apple sauce on a potato pancake.
“Um, John?” Mary snapped me out of my fantasy, “You’ve, uh, got a little something on your uh...” she turned to Sybil, “what would you call it?”
“Muzzle,” Sybil replied.
Apparently, I’d been drooling while my fantasy was going on. I quickly wiped it away with a hoof. Then I shivered a little at what I’d done: I liked food, but I never got that excited about it. It wasn’t who I was. “Please... just...just go get some apples... and the potion.”
“Right,” Mary left the room. I was alone with Sybil now. What was the name of that movie where Kathy Bates was a crazy fangirl?
“So what’s the deal with this potion anyway? You just take it and bam! You’re a pony?”
“I don’t know, I thought it was just fiction until today, I thought everything was fiction until today.”
“So where’d it come from, was it from a fanfic or something?”
“A collection. This thing called The Conversion Bureau .”
“Uh-huh, so what? Did people just find a way to turn other people into ponies and then go on adventures?”
“Kind of, TCB’s world was usually a real hole, it makes Africa look utopian in comparison. Then one day ponies just showed up and helped people make the potion.”
“So is that what’s happening now?”
“I don’t know! Guh! If only my stupid alarm clock hadn’t gone off.
“What’d your alarm clock have to do with anything?”
“Some things are different about the potion, but the dream was still the same.”
“Dream?”
“In the fics, when someone drinks the potion, they pass out while the transformation happens. Then they have a dream, only it’s not a dream... it’s kinda like a chat room... only you’re talking with royalty.”
“Royalty?” Sybil looked confused again. But then her confusion turned to excitement. “You mean Celestia? You actually got to talk to her?!”
“And Luna.”
“That is so awesome!”
“Tch, I wish, all I got was who they were and pretty much what the letter said.” All the answers and a damn piece of plastic ruins it.
“Oh darn, that does suck.” For a moment she was quiet. “So did it hurt?”
“What?”
“Becoming a pony, duh!” She was eager to hear my response.
“I don’t know if it hurts, I was sick as hell last night, I couldn’t tell up from down... I still don’t think I can. But after I drank it, I don’t remember anything else but the dream.”
“Wonder if I’ll get to see them.” I still couldn’t understand how they could want this so much. Don’t get me wrong, there’d been times when I thought it would be cool to be a pony, heck, pegasi seemed pretty awesome. Maybe that was why I was one why now. Now I wished I’d liked unicorns more, at least they could still manipulate stuff with magic.
There was that word again: magic. It goes against every scientific thing out there. I’m not a big science person, but before today I’d thought there was a logical explanation for everything. That was why I thought (and am still thinking) that the world is gonna end soon. When magic becomes real it means order is falling apart: the possible has lost its footing so the impossible must now prevail in reality.
But before I could dwell more on the subject, there was a knock at the door. Mary was back. In one hand she held the potion and in her other hand was a bag. The smell from it, my god, I’d thought she’d brought fragrance or something into the room. My mouth started salivating again. “Okay, I got everything so what’s the plan?”
“Can...can I have that first? It’s really distracting.” I was eyeing the bag like I hadn’t seen food in a year.
“Yeah, sure,” Mary pulled out not one, not two, but three apples! They were just the standard apples that the snack bar always sold. As soon as she placed them down I was on them. But I stopped myself from swallowing the first one whole. Instead I just took a small bite. It was actually pretty easy to eat it, even without hands.
… Um, how do I put this? Okay, Rainbow Dash’s reaction to Cider in that one episode, remember that? She was not kidding. I’m dead serious. I would have called bullshit on Mary if I wasn’t enjoy the damned thing so much. There’s no way this is from the snack bar, everything there is crap! She’d had to have drivin to the nice market or... oh my god it’s so juicy! I didn’t even notice the girls giving me odd looks. For the moment, I didn’t care. Remember how I said I liked food? Yeah I loved getting good food, especially after days of the same mundane cafeteria food. But this? This was a whole new level. No restaurants, not even my favorite ones, made something this good, and it was an apple, a damn apple!
I quickly finished the first one. I ate the whole thing: stem, core, everything. I didn’t even think about it until after I’d done it. I wonder if ponies can digest apple cor- I stopped and looked up at the girls. They both had faces that I couldn’t exactly read. “What did I do?”
“Uh, well John...” Mary was blushing a little.
“You foodgasmed... hard,” Sybil said bluntly.
“I what?!” I blushed profusely and my ears drooped.
“Seriously, it was like you were eating pure ecstasy or something. You didn’t notice?”
“No... it... it was just really good.”
Mary and Sybil looked and me and then at each other. They each grabbed one of the remaining apple and were about to put them in their mouths when I screamed, “No! Okay, you can have a bite, but please leave the rest for me!” I brought my forehooves to my mouth after saying that.
“Okay,” Sybil was holding the apple as she spoke, “if that’s not an argument for taking that stuff, I don’t know what is.”
“No,” I replied.
“She has a point John,” Mary said, “nobody enjoys apples that much, hell, nobody enjoys eating food that much.”
“No,” I repeated, “No, no, no! That... that’s not me! I... oh god.” I sprinted over Sybil’s bathroom. No matter how delicious the apple was, it wasn’t staying down.
Mary and Sybil rushed in as soon as they heard me hurling. “John? John what’s wrong?!” I couldn’t tell whose voice it was.
“Everything! I cried out between throwing up. “I... I don’t even feel things as a human anymore... it’s gone all gone! Ugh!” I was just having dry heaves now, my stomach had nothing left to throw up.
“John it... it’ll be okay.” It was Sybil’s voice.
“It won’t! I’ve lost everything!” I sobbed over the toilet. “T-that’s not even the worst part! It’s that it’s so much better. I-I can never go back to normal again. I...I’ll know this exists. Oh god, help me!” I slumped in front of the toilet and bawled like a baby. Sybil hugged me, I tearfully looked up at her. “I-I’m scared.”
“John... I know, I’m sorry about before...I was stupid. I just thought this was so neat. But I didn’t think about it that way. That it’s not just different, that you’ve lost so much.”
“Well why don’t we just sit down and talk, relax and try to sort things out.”
“T-that sounds good but where’s... Oh Jesus! Mary! Mary!!” I bolted past Sybil and back into her room. Mary was passed out on the floor, an empty cup in her hand. “No! NO! ” I screamed and dry heave again as Mary’s body started to ripple and turn chalk white. Sybil isn’t so lucky when she walks in the room. She pukes right on bathroom tiles, at least it wasn’t the carpet.
“Oh god, John!” She averted her eyes. “That’s what happened to you? I...” She ran to the toilet. I shut my eyes and prayed for the nightmare to be over.
Ten minutes passed and the only sounds in the room were Mary’s clothes tearing and Sybil retching. Eventually Sybil turned her head to me and asked, “Is...is it over John?”
I turned my head slowly. Mary was lying there now, whatever clothes she had were now just torn pieces of cloth. I was somewhat relieved, she was almost done with the process. Right now, she kinda looked like a base model for a pony: no hair, no color. Then I saw her body start to shift colors. It became a deeper shade of white and then a light creamy yellow. It darkened some more and then stayed a dark pastel yellow. Then her hair and tail grew out. They were a light blue color, she kinda looked like the Ukrainian flag.
For a second, I thought she was done. Then I saw these little nubs grow at her sides. The kept expanding. At first, they were thin and bony, but then they drooped down and became filled with flesh and... feathers. She was a pegasus as well. I looked at her wings and then I looked back at mine. They’re both about the same size. “Sybil, I think it’s safe.” Mary appeared to just be sleeping now.
“John, I... I don’t want to do this anymore. The way your body shifts and squirms... it’s not right.” She covered her mouth as she cried.
“I know, I know.” I looked back over at Mary again, she seemed to be mumbling something. “Jesus! The dream!”
“W-what?” Sybil cried.
“The dream,” I said in an excited voice but then I tuned it down to a whisper, “she’s having it right now. We can’t let anything interrupt her. She’s our lifeline now.”
So we sat there for a while, just watching Mary dream. I still can’t believe what I just saw. Humanity out the window with just a simple drink. The bottle scares me now.
“Hey John?” Sybil timidly asked.
“Yeah?”
“Why’d you call Mary instead of me or Jane, we both live right down the hall.” Jane lived directly across the hallway from Sybil. She’d probably be joining this commotion sooner or later... everyone would.
“I thought that if I called you, you’d flip and start running around campus. Then Sean would hear about it and he’d start running around campus too. By the end of the hour, the news would be here and there’d be pandemonium. Then the black suits would come and... I don’t want to talk about it.” I was shaking again.
“What about Jane?”
“Her heart couldn’t have taken it, plus she has the flu.” I didn’t know the exact medical terms, but Jane had some minor heart condition. She always complained about being able to drink soda. “You really want to show a sick person this?” I flared my left wing up. If she’d seen me, soda would have been the least of her worries.
“You liked Mary didn’t you?”
“What? No! I...” I’m blushing now, “you know she has a boyfriend.”
“Had, I don’t think things will work out the well now.”
“Heh,” it was an empty laugh, “she’d choose being a pony over her boyfriend?”
“I think she chose it to help you.”
“I...” before I could say anything else, Mary murmured a little louder and flapped her wings for the first time. “I think she’s coming out of it.” We both got closer to her, but still kept some distance.
“Mrphl,” Mary murmured.
I couldn’t take the tension anymore. “Mary?” I asked in the most quiet voice I could.
“Jphl...jopl...John?” Her eyes started to twitch as she tried opening them for the first time.
“Mary,” I said in a gruff tone, “you’re crushing me.”
“Oh sorry, sorry! Guess I just got a little excited.” She got off and immediately stumbled and fell to the ground. “Wow, you weren’t kidding, this is hard.” She looked over at her right forehoof, trying to flex it, but instead she caused her right wing to poke out of her side. “Whoa!” She looked at it in amazement. “Heh, guess we’ll be learning flying together.”
“Another time. Right now can you please tell us what happened in your dream?”
“Oh yeah... um, John, it’s pretty serious. I mean holy crap, you thought today was strange so far? I don’t think you were too off about reality falling apart. There’s just one thing.”
“What?”
“Can I please have those apples?” She was drooling as she looked at the two red spheres she and Sybil dropped earlier.
“Take ‘em!” Sybil and I both said in unison, neither of us wanted to eat after what we’ve just seen.
Mary stumbled over to the apples and awkwardly sat down, trying to figure out what position worked best for her new body. “Okay, so here’s the deal,” she said as she bent down and took a bite out of the apple. “See Celest... oh my god! It ahhh, just ahhh!”
I turned over to Sybil. “Yeah, foodgasm definitely is the appropriate term.”
“We might be here a while,” said Sybil. Mary just continued to experience the ecstasy that was a simple apple from a college snack bar. I couldn’t deny that her reaction was justified.
~~~
Earl was bored. Then again he was always bored. Manning a small gas station on the side of the Nevada freeway was boring work. On a good day he might get around twenty customers. Sometimes he’d get lucky and a trucker would come into the store while he was refueling his rig. Earl liked truckers, they always bought a ton of snacks and drinks and they always needed to completely refill their trucks. Plus, they liked to talk about their stories on the road. Earl liked hearing about the world beyond his small gas station.
As he sat behind the counter watching the empty freeway, he mused about the time a convoy had stopped at his station. It had been his best business day. Eight truckers, all with big rigs. They’d cleared him out. His gas station was small, so by the time the truckers left, Earl was down to his emergency reserves of gas. His food and drink supplies weren’t faring much better. Earl didn’t care, it was the most interaction he’d ever had. It was almost like a party. He really did love that day.
There were no truckers today. Hell, there weren’t any motorists today. But that happened a lot, so Earl just decided to sit back in his chair and read the paper. It was only eleven in the morning, but he still had a beer at his side.
Then he saw a speck in the distance. He perked up immediately, as the speck zoomed in closer its shape became more defined: a simple SUV, probably a family on a road trip. Earl set the beer and paper down immediately. He still had a duty to look professional if there was a customer coming. Nothing scared away a customer like a fat man lazying about drinking a beer. Unfortunately, the SUV didn’t look like it was stopping. In fact it looked like it was getting faster. Eighty-five, ninety-five, one hundred and five! The car was going way too fast. As it passed in front of the station, it looked like it was about to hit the three hundred mile mark.
“Jeeesssuuussss Chrrrrrisssssstttt!!!” Earl exclaimed, then he got scared. Why had his voice sounded like it was in slow motion? He decided he might not be feeling well, so he decided to call up the hospital to send a truck to come get him. But as he moved toward the old wall phone his actions, like his speech, were playing out in slow motion. “Whhhaaaaattttt tttthhheee fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu...”
That was it for Earl and his store. They had run out of time.
End Part One.
Jennifer Reitz:
And damn, I wish I could get a cup.
Star Gazer:
The Conversion Bureau: Reality Break
Saga 1: Part 2: Rising Sun, Falling Earth
Izumi Taka was getting tired of the bed. She was tired of the being sick, and tired of having needles jabbed into her arms, tired of the doctors examining her. She was tired of the life she’d wasted away sick in a bed. Then there was the thing she hated most of all: the white. The walls of the hospital, the bedsheets, the doctors’ coats; they were all the color of death, yet it still hadn’t come for her yet.
Izumi hated the reality she lived in. Whenever she wasn’t in the hospital, she was at home. But even there, she couldn’t escape the sounds of medicine. Her parents doted over her day and night, constantly checking her vital signs. If she ever actually felt well, her parents would actually become more concerned. She remembered each time she felt well, how she would ask her parents if she could go explore Tokyo’s streets or go to a restaurant or something that didn’t confine her to the house. Every time they had refused. “You’re just getting better, you need to take it easy so you can fully heal. Then you can go to school and then college.” She despised the smiles they gave her whenever they said that.
The odd thing was she didn’t even hate the disease that was slowly eating her away. She didn’t know it’s actual name, but it had something to do with her blood. Instead of being a life source to her, her blood was a demon, slowly devouring the rest of her organs. Occasionally the demon would flare up, attacking a specific organ: sometimes a kidney would give out, or her liver would stop functioning, or her heart would get palpitations. Whatever the demon did, it always sent her back to the hospital. But she didn’t hate the demon, she hated the way people treated her because of it.
The demon was evil and by extent she was evil. Her parents tried to show affection, but that was all it was: a show. She was a burden on them. She was a burden on all society. Her fate was inevitable: she’d one day be discarded and the demon exorcised from the world. Thus everyone kept their distance from her.
Everyone in reality at least. Izumi’s most precious possession was her computer, more precisely its internet connection. Online she was free. Free to chat, free to see sights, free to exist. She never told her parents about the hundreds of chat rooms she visited or the thousands of anime and American cartoons she watched. If they found out, they’d take her only treasure away. They’d say it was bad for her health, that is should only be used for her education. She’d never let them take it. The internet was where her friends were, both the real ones from the chat rooms and the imaginary ones from the shows.
She’d never had any friends in reality. But when she’d first discovered the internet, she’d been happy to find friends in commercial mascots. She remembered the days when Hello Kitty and other cute mascots danced on the computer screen. But as she got older, she realized that was all they were: mascots for a company only meant to sell toys. After that realization she spent more time in chat rooms.
But recently she had discovered new friends. They had first popped up when someone talked about them in a chat room. They were from America, yet they were bright and colorful like Japanese mascots. Izumi thanked whatever god was responsible for language that she’d managed to learn English despite her sickness. A huge smile had crept onto her face the first time she’d heard the cartoon’s theme song. She cried a little at the lyrics “did you know you’re all my very best friends.”
The world of Equestria was the reality she wanted. It was even grander than the internet. There everyone- no- everypony was friendly and caring. She’d cringed a little when she’d seen Rainbow Dash get sent to the hospital, but then was relieved when she saw that Dash’s friends still cared about her. In that world, when you go to the hospital you still have friends. She looked around the private room she currently occupied. She was always in a private room. Her parents thought having her around others would make her sicker.
Her recent stay in the hospital had been her longest yet. Her blood demon had decided to attack her spinal column this time. She still remembered waking up and not being able to move, not being able to reach her computer or see her friends. That had been true torture, being alone was Izumi’s worst nightmare. If it wasn’t for the internet, that’s what her life would be everyday; the thought sometimes kept her up at night. Being paralyzed had been the closest she’d come to that abyss. Luckily, the doctors had acted quickly and the demon had been quelled.
But not without a price. Izumi’s nervous system was shutting down. In three months it would terminate and it would take her with it. She decided she’d spend the last three months with her friends. She had fantasies where she’d talk with Twilight or help raise animals with Fluttershy or go on awesome adventures with Rainbow Dash. She even wrote letters to the Princess, telling her how much she’d learned about friendship thanks to Celestia’s little ponies. Izumi knew that one day the Princess would read them.
~~~
She awoke to the sound of her heart beating irregularly. The machines weren’t going off though. Her chest was beginning to knot with pain as she reached for the emergency call switch. But she stopped. She saw that on the little desk next to her bed was a sake set with a letter next to it. She was still under the legal drinking age and there was no way her parents would ever let her drink anyway.
Despite the pain in her chest, she pulled herself over to the drink instead of the emergency button. She snatched up the letter and read it:
Young One, You have been selected to start the conversion process. We know this may be sudden to you, but time is of the essence. However, the choice is still yours as to whether you cast off your humanity or endure it. But know that both Equestria and Earth rest on your decision. So we ask you, whether you drink or not, to spread our word and reignite magic. There should be enough for four more converts. Please find the other seeds as soon as possible. We will try to contact you again soon. By Royal Decree of Princess Celestia, Monarch of Equestria
Izumi stared at the letter for a long time. Then she clutched it close to her throbbing chest. Her goddess had heard her prayers. She could finally escape the hospital, escape the demon. She was going to a better place.
She nervously poured the large jar’s contents into the smaller sake cup. The fluid in it was thick and purple and it shimmered even in the darkened room. Izumi stopped just as the cup was about to overflow. The pain in her chest was growing and her limbs were starting to go numb. With the last of her strength, she downed the glass. “Ban...zai.” She then fell into a sweet dreamy bliss.
~~~
Grass was nearby or at least the concept of grass was nearby. Wherever Izumi was now, it was certainly not the hospital. But it wasn’t her dreamland of Equestria either. It felt more like she was in a land of ideas. Concepts existed without physical form in this bizarre realm. But Izumi didn’t care about that. She was just overjoyed to even know the concept of grass; she had never known it before. But now she knew exactly what grass was like without even truly touching it. She was absolutely giddy to be in such an open space. The hospital- no- the city could never be this open.
But as she marveled at the splendor around her, a regal voice spoke up. Izumi looked up into the concept of a sky and saw a pulsating bright multi-hued sphere. It took up a good portion of the eastern horizon. The western horizon was also taken up by a sphere, but this one was more moon-like and encased in a blue aura. “Young one ,” The bright sphere called out. Izumi knew it could be only one entity. She shifted her essence as best she could to bow to her deity.
“Great Celestia, you honor me with your presence. ” She peeked an eye up to look at the moon-sphere. “You as well, Princess Luna. How may I serve you? ”
“A loyal one isn’t she? ” Luna’ commented.
“Yes, but it is what we need now, ” Celestia’s then turned her attention back to Izumi. “Child, rise, you are not among rulers, but among those who require your assistance. ”
“Me? But I am just a tiny girl. ”
“No ,” Luna replied, “you are a pony now and with that choice, you have taken on a responsibility, both to our world and yours. ”
“What is it? ” There was concern in Izumi’s voice now. If there was something that worried even the Princesses, it must have been a grave threat. Something threatened her heaven. She would stop it no matter the cost.
“Your world needs magic and our world needs space, ” Celestia explained in a serious tone. “More and more ponies come into being everyday and our reality can’t contain them. ”
“The situation is even worse in your reality ,” Luna took over for her sister. “Your reality lacks a sufficient amount of magic to sustain itself. ”
“W-what does that mean? ” Something about the statement caused Izumi’s essence to shiver.
“Imagine the universe being held together by glue. That glue is magic. When that glue runs out it’s the end. ”
Now Izumi was scared. It wasn’t an evil monster like Discord that she had to face, but a very law of nature. She had to defeat entropy. “W-what can I do? ”
“Child, ” Celetia’s tone was now smooth and motherly, “you have already taken the first step. But now you must be prepared to go further .” Izumi felt a jolt in her essence, like something was tugging at her. For a second she blanked out.
“Sister! ” Luna cried out. “She’s fading! We must hurry! ” The tugging sensation was growing.
“Child! ” Celestia called out to Izumi, “Listen closely to my words. When you awaken you will be fully transformed. Guard the potion with your life! Convert others and build up as much magic as you can! ”
“But how do I- ”
“We don’t have time to explain! ” Luna’s voice was growing more distant. “But what is most is important is that you find the others and make- ”
Izumi had left the concept plane.
~~~
A violent shaking woke her up. “Where is she?!” A familiar voice yelled.
“Mother?” Izumi called out as the room started to come back into focus. She’d been having a wonderful dream. But the current situation was pushing it to the back of her mind. “What’s wrong?” Her mother was never this emotional.
“You...you have her voice.” Her mother stopped shacking her and backed away. There was a wild terror in her eyes.
Izumi was concerned now. The emotionless wretch her mother normally was was gone. Standing before her was a creature of feeling. A creature that wanted the daughter that was right in front of her. “Mother, what is wrong?” Izumi repeated.
“Stop it!” Her mother was beginning to cry. “Oh god, where’s security!?” She began to run to the door. She was about to open it when Izumi cried out.
“Stop!” She didn’t want more doctors or security or any more of the horrible people. But much to her shock and her mother’s, the door listened. Despite her mother clearly pulling the door open, it wouldn’t budge. Her mother slowly turned around to look at Izumi again; her face was contorted in fear. Izumi then noticed that the door was covered in an electric blue aura. She also felt a tingling in her forehead, like someone was lightly shocking her. “Mother! Please tell me what’s wrong?”
“D-d-don’t hurt me!” Her mother was cowering in the corner. “J-j-just give me back my daughter!”
Now Izumi felt the urge to do something she’d never thought she’d do: comfort her mother. The cold woman was gone now and was replaced with a hysterical mess. She needs my help. She hopped down from the bed, but mid-jump she swore at herself. The needles! This is gonna hurt! She braced herself for the pain as she landed, but none came. She didn’t even feel the IVs tugging at her. She glanced at where she felt her arm was but saw no arm.
I...I’m a unicorn. The thought was instantaneous in Izumi’s head, but it took her a few seconds to process the idea. Then a huge grin crossed her face. She jumped up and shouted, “I’m a unicorn! I’m a pony! I’m free!” She began to ecstatically turn to her mother. “Mother, isn’t this gre-” She stopped, her mother was now holding a scalpel and pointing it straight at her. “Mother, what are you doing?”
“Give. Me. Back. My. Daughter!!” Her mother made a mad rush at her with the faux weapon. Izumi backed up but tripped on her legs, she wasn’t fully used to her new body yet. The trip probably saved her life, as her mother proceeded to trip over her and went flying right into the wall. The scalpel bent backwards and cut a gash right at her wrist. She began to bleed profusely.
“Mother!” Izumi rushed over to her mother, instincts allowing her to control her legs. Here was a woman she had despised all her life for keeping her locked away and now that she was dying Izumi cared about her for the first time. “This isn’t fair!” She cried. “I get better and care about you and now I’m going to lose you! Please sta-” her eyes spotted the sake jar. It was where she had left it - where the human Izumi had left it. It was the only way. “Mother, hold on, I’ll fix you.”
“Izumi, Izumi,” her mother murmured as the life literally continued to drain from her.
“Ssh mother, it’ll be ok.” Come. The thought filled Izumi’s mind as the jug and the cup flew over to her. She filled the cup again, a little spilled over but she didn’t care. Her mother, in her semi-conscious state, was unable to resist swallowing the drink. Her mother was fully unconscious almost immediately. Then her body went white like porcelain. Despite being unconscious, her body squirmed as its shape began to change.
Izumi stared in amazement at the miracle that was happening before her eyes. This is what her savior had done to her as well and it was magnificent. Soon her mother wouldn’t fear Izumi, she would love her, just as Izumi now loved her. The air in the room was ignited with magic as her mother’s hands began bending into hooves. Her clothes were becoming ripped by the transformation as well.Ponies don’t wear clothes anyway. As that thought crossed her mind, Izumi looked over at where she’d been sleeping. Her hospital gown was still there, ripped to pieces by her metamorphosis. The needles were strung around the gown as well, her transformation had pushed them out of her skin.
She began to ponder what type of pony her mother would be, but then she heard footsteps. The commotion her mother had caused hadn’t gone unnoticed. Damn it! They’ll be just as scared as mother was. We need to get out. She looked out the one tiny window in the room and saw the lights of the city. It was a cloudy night so the moon wasn’t shining and only the city’s lights lit up the night. She could also see a little of her reflection: her long neon pink mane matched well with the night’s lights. She looked over at her mother and the potion. The footsteps were getting closer. “It is time to go.”
There was a bright flash and Izumi and the potion were gone.
The Conversion Bureau: Reality Break
Neon City Blitz
A rain drop was the first thing Izumi felt when she woke up. It was amazing to feel such a simple thing. She opened her eyes and saw the potion sitting right in front of her. The cup that went with it was missing though. She struggled to her hooves and looked around. She was in one of Tokyo’s many alleys. On either end of the alley, the dark corridor gave way to a sea of lights and people. There was also something in the air, like a heavy buzzing. It annoyed Izumi a little.
Izumi couldn’t wait to see the city. But she remembered she also had a duty to her goddess. She had to tell everypony else that the end was coming, that their salvation was only a drink away.
Darn, how am I going to move mother though? Izumi looked around but saw nopony or no one. “Mother?” she called out. Silence responded. “Oh no, mother?” Izumi cried out louder this time. Still no response. “Oh no! Mother! She must be back at the hospital! I...I have to get her!” She poured all her effort into teleporting back to the hospital, but her horn wouldn’t listen. “C’mon! Work damn it!” Her horn was unresponsive.
“No... mother...” Izumi started to cry. She’d left her mother in that horrible place, surrounded by the horrible people. Who knows what they’d do to her! “I...I’ll walk back then.” But I don’t know the streets. “I’ll ask somepony, then I can go to the hospital and save mother.”
Having made up her mind, Izumi got ready to walk toward the streets. She called for the potion to follow her, but it was unresponsive. “Come on! Move!” She focused all her attention on the potion trying to make it move, but it only shifted to the left slightly. Why isn’t it working? Shouldn’t I be able to do all sorts of pony magic now? Then it hit her: pony magic. Darn it, of course a human wouldn’t know how to use unicorn magic. She’d seen Twilight Sparkle and Rarity use magic all the time on the show. But seeing magic was completely different from using it. Ok, you were able to move stuff in the hospital, just remember the feeling.
Izumi focused and tried to remember the slight shock she felt in her horn when she’d used it at the hospital. For a second, she grasped the sensation, but then a trash can behind her fell down. “Eep!” She jumped up in fright. She just barely saw the trashcan lose an electric blue aura. “Shoot! I wanted to move the potion not the trash can!” Then Izumi remembered Celestia’s words to guard the potion at any cost. “I shouldn’t risk spilling it.” Izumi now grabbed the potion with her mouth. Her teeth seemed to grip things better now.
That didn’t help much with walking though. She nearly dropped the potion when she stumbled after taking her first few steps. She then set the potion down again and began trying to learn the basics of walking. “Hmm, ok, so I have four legs now not two.” She wiggled her front left hoof, her front right hoof, her back right hoof, and then her back left hoof. “Woah, that’s new.” Her hindlegs felt the most like human legs, but her forelegs were strange. She tested out how much she could move them and found they were much more flexible than her hindlegs. Her forelegs seemed to have a few different muscles than her hind legs as well. The overall feeling was that her forelegs were sort of a fusion of an arm and a leg.
Fifteen minutes later and Izumi could walk pretty stably, with a stumble here and there. The alley was too short to try galloping. “Ok, let’s try this again.” She grabbed the potion in her mouth and walked into the street. But the buzzing feeling in the air grew as she trotted closer to the lights, now it was like a pounding in Izumi’s head. Ugh! That is so annoying what...
“Oh wow!” A voice called out, “That’s an amazing cosplay!” It was a girl dressed up in an anime costume. “Wait,” she turned to her two friends who were also dressed up, “is this a mascot or a cosplay?”
“It’s too well-crafted to be a cosplay,” a friend responded.
“Yeah, maybe it’s some new ploy by a company,” said another friend.
Izumi set down the bottle and smiled. I'm actually talking with real people. Thank you Celestia, thank you so much! “I’m not a ploy or a cosplay, I’m a pony! Nice to meet you.” She held out a hoof for the cosplayers to shake.
“Wow, whoever designed this really went all out.”
“Yeah, can’t wait to see what show this is for.”
“Wonder if we can buy our own, this mascot is pretty cute.”
Why? Why don’t they believe me? Hmm, maybe if I.. . “If you want, you can get a pony right now. All you have to do is try this drink.
“Sweet! An awesome new toy and free sake?”
“Rika, won’t your mom get mad if you drink?”
Rika turned to her two other friends, “Who cares? We’re in Akihabara, a child’s land. Our parents have no sway here.”
“Well, I did want to break in the new glasses we bought.”
“That’s the spirit Kasumi! Now lets have a drink!” As Rika talked to Kasumi and her other friend, Kasumi pulled out three glasses that are adorned with anime characters.
Heh, Madoka Magica glasses, kinda fitting. Izumi measured out the glasses evenly and then put the now empty sake jug down. She’d done her duty to her princess.
“Hey this ain’t sake.” Rika looked at the shimmering purple drink.
“It’s probably some stuff the mascot’s company is selling,” the third girl replied.
“Eh whatever, I still want one! Kampai!” They clinked their glasses together and drank.
“Ugh, no wonder they have such a cute mascot, that drink is te-” Rika fell to the ground.
“Rika? You o-” Kasumi followed.
“Guys? What the he-” the third girl was the last to fall down.
Princess, I did it! Oh, Celestia will be so happy when she sees how fast I worked. Izumi’s celebrating was broken by a scream. Someone had seen the girls turning into ponies. The scream was joined by another and another. Soon Akihabara was ablaze with panic. The screaming didn't help the pounding in Izumi’s head. Stop it, why are you all screaming? Ponies are great, can’t they see that? Izumi wasn’t appalled at all by the transformation the girls are undergoing. Their now-white doughy skin rippled and shifted, their bones crunched and changed shape, their skulls swelled: their humanity was slowly slipping away.
Then something hit Izumi in the back of the head. It was a policeman, brandishing his night stick. But he was shaking, he looked like he was about to throw up. “Y-you are disturbing the p-peace, I ask that you s-stop immediately.”
Izumi shook off the blow and stood up again. Stupid human! Maybe if I explain it to him he’ll calm down. “Mr. Policeman, I’m here on a mission t-” the stick struck her again.
“S-s-stay back and leave those girls alone!”
“It’s too late you fool! Don’t you know I’m trying to save you all!” Izumi yelled back. The policeman prepared to strike her again. The pounding in her head was getting even worse. “Stop it!” The policeman’s stick stopped midair, held in place by an electric blue aura. But my now, more people were looking, some had their phones out and were recording the scene. “All of you!” Izumi yelled out to the crowd. “Stop it!!!” There was a bright flash and then...
The buzzing has stopped. It was dark now. Akihabara, Tokyo’s electric town, has been plunged into darkness. Izumi looked around; the people were fumbling around, trying to find a light source. They tried to use their phones as lights, but they were also sapped of energy. Izumi was still able to see though, it was a little darker, but the she could easily make out shapes. She could also see that other parts of the city were still illuminated by neon. What did I do?
Off in the distance, there was a part of the rain storm that was a bit more violent. Lightning crashed down on some far-off plane. But the lightning strike was enough to illuminate Akihabara for a flash of a second. To Izumi, the people’s faces looked contorted and monstrous in the storm. I need to leave!
She ran. She galloped through the darkened streets, away from all the people. It’s not fair! I only wanted to help! She began to cry as she ran, instincts helped her keep her balance. Then she remembered the girls. What have I done? They’ll be just as cruel to them as they were to me. Forgive me!
She moved out from the darkness and back into the light. The pounding returned again. Stupid electricity it’s so noisy! As she thought this, some bulbs from nearby stores popped. People were now staring at her again. Go out! All of the lights! Go out! The lights stayed on this time.
“What the hell is that?” someone called out.
Izumi was now in a mad dash. She didn’t know which direction was out of the city, but she had to get out. Block after block passed by, she barely avoided getting hit by some cars. The people just continued to look at her as she ran past them. Then she saw it: a freeway, the quickest way out the city. Izumi ran for it.
~~~
She didn’t know how long she galloped for. The city eventually gave way to suburbs and then the suburbs gave way to rice fields. Then her right forleg cramped. “Oww!” She fell down by the side of the freeway. Her hoof, instead of being electric blue, now looked a little purple and slightly swollen. “Darn it! I need to rest, gotta find some water.” She got back up and tried to put as little pressure on the hoof as possible. But by now, all her legs were aching. She hobbled over to the closest rice paddy and pludged her hoof into the muddy water. It stung, but at least it was cool.
“Who’s out there?” Someone with a flashlight was prowling the fields. Izumi ducked down and tried to hide as much as she could. “I don’t want any trouble!”
Izumi tried to crawl back to the free way, but she accidentally put pressure on her hoof as she tried to crawl. “Arg!” she cried out in pain. Then the flashlight was on her.
“My god!”
“Please mister! I wasn’t doing anything wrong, my hoof just hurt an-” Izumi stopped. The old farmer was bowing to her.
“In this day and age, I never thought I’d see a spirit, will you please bless my crops?” he said as he bowed before Izumi.
“I... I’m not a spirit.”
“Ah, you spirits are always tricky that way, trying to fool us common humans.” The old farmer had a wry voice. “I’ll cut you a deal spirit, you bless my crops and I’ll give you a grand offering.”
He thinks I’m a nature spirit. Shinto must be a big part of farm life. Ok, Izumi, he’s offering you anything. You just need to show him something. Izumi then spotted a nearby rock. It looked pretty smooth and circular. Bingo. She poured all her thoughts into moving the rock. Now that she was out of the city, without the feeling of electricity pounding in her head, magic came much easier.
After about a minute of hard concentration, she got the shocking feeling in her horn again. Then a blue aura began to surround the rock. Izumi was beginning to sweat from the exertion of moving the rock. But she was able to get it an inch off the ground and then moved it directly in front of the rice paddy. “*Huff-huff* done.”
“Oh thank you spirit, how can I ever repay you?” The old farmer was absolutely ecstatic.
“A futon would be nice,” Izumi said. Then she was out like all the lights she’d broken in Tokyo.
End Part 2
View Online
The Conversion Bureau: Reality Break
Interlude One: Higher and Higher, Down to the Wire
I really hate being stuck in one place for a long time. Especially when I’ve been stuck in Sybil’s room for a week. This whole mess started Monday and now it was Saturday. It’s driving me insane. I need to get outside, I need to flex my wings.
It’s been a crazy week. Actually, I think crazy might be the new normal for what my life has become. I’m a pony now and so is Mary. If I can say one good thing about the past few days, it’s that I’ve managed to figure out how to use my hooves. They actually have pretty strong grip is you’re holding something with both of them. It’s all about the angle. Mary and I both had plates and cups either slipping out of hooves or flying back into our faces over the first few days. I felt bad for all the crap we must have spilled onto Sybil’s carpet. I even figured out how to use my phone. It was just matter of positioning my hooves properly.
Speaking of which: music. I’m freaked out by my music now. I either think it’s about the end the world (like Matchbox 20 ) or a call to arms for conversion (stuff like Vox Populi or Bling Confession of a King ). It creeped me the hell out. Then again what am I supposed to think when MLP has just been one big subliminal message?
I honestly didn’t believe Mary at first. Then again, I don’t believe any of this. Ponies have been feeding us images of their world since who knows when? They pretty much created Atlantis? The universe if coming apart because there’s not enough magic in the world? My god, that is a lot to take in. Yet, here I am the center of it all.
Well I’m not the complete center. There are other “seeds” as well. Mary didn’t know too much about them, she naturally woke up just when Celestia was about to explain. All she knew was that the “seeds” were people who’d been the first to be converted.
~~~
“But why me?” I asked.
“Well, what I got from it was that they chose people who were close to death,” Mary explained as she moved her tongue around her mouth to try and get even a hint of the apples. She’d long since devoured them.
“Death? I had a head cold! A head cold!!”
“Are you sure?”
“Well I mean, I got a fever and then I threw up a bit. But I wasn’t dying.”
“I don’t know,” Sybil said as she looked at her computer, “those could have been symptoms of meningitis.”
“You kidding me? I got my shot!”
“Maybe it was a dud.”
I clutched my prayer book a little closer. That’s another thing: ever since Mary drank the stuff, I’ve kept my prayer book close to me. Before this I wasn’t that religious, but now I say a prayer every morning, thanking god that the world hasn’t ended yet. I really don’t know where else to go.
~~~
My other friends know about this now as well. I think I nearly caused Jane to have a heart attack when she saw us. I promised her the potion next. But it would have to wait: Sybil’s room couldn’t hold any more of us for a long period of time.
Nate just kinda stared at us, then he bent down and signaled for us to come over to him. Mary trotted over first and he just softly petted her mane. I tepidly walked over and he did the same to me... it was surreal and kinda creepy.
Once we’d gotten their promises that they’d stay quite and calm, we took off their gags and sat down to discuss what to do next.
“John, that is so cool! Have you tried out the wings yet?” Sean was trying his best to contain his excitement. He wasn’t doing a very good job.
“Mary and I tried hovering a little a few days ago but...” I looked up at the cracked fluorescent light in the center of Sybil’s ceiling, “I think we need more open space.”
“Then go outside!”
“It’s not that simple Sean! How do think people will react if they see us? You guys are our friends, so you being helpful has been really great. But if regular people see us, we’re screwed. A mass panic is the last thing we need.” As I spoke my wings twitched, they’d been doing that since Wednesday. “Ugh that is so annoying!”
“John has a point,” Mary started talking, “I mean, this is amazing, but we probably would cause a few head turns if we went outside.” I still don’t know how she’s so optimistic, but it’s helped.
The first few nights I didn’t sleep well. I had horrible dreams I was human again only for a wing to burst out of my back, or that I was being chased by men in black suits. I’d wake up and grasp for something, but it was just phantom limb syndrome. I didn’t have fingers to grasp anything with anymore. Whenever I had these night terrors, Mary would bring a wing over my back and helped calm me down. I don’t know how she dealt with the situation that well, but it helped.
“So who are you gonna give the potion to next?” Nate asked.
“I’ve already promised it to Jane, because of her heart thing.”
“John,” Jane chimed in, “it’s fine, don’t let that little thing bother you. Although, I’ve thought about it and the stuff Mary said. That’s some pretty scary stuff, it might suck not to have hands anymore, but it beats the apocalypse.”
“Fine,” Mary smiled, “then you’re next in line. So John, after Jane, who’s next?”
“Hmm, Nate, I want to keep your room open if we ever figure out a way to get over there. A single is the greatest thing we can have right now. Same goes for you too Sybil,” I looked over at her, “plus, I don’t think it would be fair for either you or Dan for one of you to be a pony while the other isn’t.”
“It... it’s fine,” Sybil’s voice was nervous. She’ll probably be the last person in our group to convert. After seeing Mary’s conversion, I don’t blame her. That was enough to make anyone reconsider drinking the potion. Unfortunately, that left only one person. I wanted to keep at least one serving of potion for an emergency.
“Oh lord. Sean, you’re next up.”
“Awesome!!! Oh man, I’m gonna have so much fun!!”
“Cool your jets pony boy,” Sybil never did like Sean’s immaturity. “My room is full for now... plus my bathroom can’t take much more abuse.”
“Sybil!!” I yelled as I turned beet red. “You said you wouldn’t tell!”
~~~
You know what? Screw the western toilet! It is a horrible medieval device, invented only to inflict misery and suffering upon whoever dares approach it. I’m not going into details, but Sybil’s toilet seat is currently cracked in half. I’m lucky neither Mary nor I broke the whole thing. If we had, the bathroom would have flooded and we probably would have had to hide on the balcony.
The balcony... the outside. I should probably go into a little more detail about that. Mary and I can look outside now. For the first three days we slowly exposed ourselves to more and more natural light. It was like going from a deep black void to a burning white space, but the effect mellowed over time. But the world still looked incredibly different. Imagine living your whole life watching nothing but a 1950’s black and white television and then getting a fifty-inch plasma screen with a blu-ray of Planet Earth. Yeah, I’m amazed my eyes just didn’t pop upon seeing the sun for the first time.
There’s also food. Although my first incident with apples wasn’t the best, things have improved. I let Sybil use my credit card to go to the nice market. I wanted the best stuff to eat, not stuff from the chain market. Besides what use was money now anyway? Even if I was still human, the apocalypse is coming and all the money in the world can’t stop it. So I might as well enjoy the good stuff while I can (and hope I can enjoy it in the future).
I wasn’t disappointed by what Sybil brought back from the market. Apples, bananas, salads, even oranges. I never liked raw oranges before this. Now they were ambrosia. I cried a little the first few times I ate them; I mourned my lost human taste buds. But Mary once more helped get me through it. I relented, the stuff tasted too good. I was having a hard time even remembering what fruits and vegetables even tasted like before my transformation. Their flavors had been completely replaced with the new pony flavors. Even something as basic as celery now was an explosion of flavors in my mouth. But, apples, oh man, they have to be illegal in Equestria, the real Equestria.
Unfortunately, there was also the Chipotle incident. Sybil ate her dinner with us and since you can’t bring food out of the cafeteria, she usually ate whatever food she had in her room. But on Thursday, when she went to the market, she also went to Chipotle. Ok, ok, at heart... um, stomach, I still had some college student tendencies. Plus, I was curious just how different other foods tasted now. I still played it safe: Mary and I both asked for strictly vegetarian burritos. Orders placed, Sybil went to go get dinner.
While we waited, I watched the news. Ever since Monday, I’d been sludging through opinion pieces and political tangents to try and catch wind of anything out of the ordinary. Nothing, just what seemed normal in the news: riots in London, drug violence in Bolivia, tensions in the Middle East. The only thing mildly interesting was a report on Pacific storms. There were a few more than average for this time of year. For some reason it caught my eye: all weather reports did now. A droll weatherman stood in front of a green screen and said, “Tomorrow’s weather will be cloudy with a twenty percent chance of-”
“Wrong,” Mary smiled.
“Yeah, I think it’s more like 18.873% chance of rai-” I closed my mouth. “Gah, I need to stop watching weather reports, it’s messing with my head!”
“John, I’m sure it’ll be fi-”
“Dinner time!” Sybil was back from the store, with produce and burritos in tow. The grocery bags still smelled amazing. But the Chipolte bag... it smelled ok, but there was also something really off about it. Like two really nice businessmen stuck in an elevator with a really dirty hobo. My and Mary’s disgust hadn’t gotten past Sybil. “Sorry, I got myself a beef burrito. Does it really smell that bad?”
“Like pealing paint off the walls bad!” Mary had brought her wings up to cover her face.
“I’ll... I’ll just eat this on the balcony then.” She reached into the bag and unwrapped the burritos for us. Then she took her lone burrito and went to the balcony to eat it.
I turned over to Mary, “And I thought these things were messy before.” She was already digging into her burrito and she seemed be be enjoying it immensely. I bent down and took a bite out of the burrito.
Sybil burst back in just as I swallowed. “Wa- Oh shit!”
Ever taste death before? No? Ok, cause that night I did. I once more rushed to the bathroom and dumped my stomach’s contents into the toilet. I made repeated trips to the toilet that night. Pepto didn’t do crap. After that, Sybil was extra careful with anything meat related. I’d liked meat before, but now it was definitely out of the question.
~~~
“So how are we gonna get outside?” Mary asked.
“We could use cars,” Dan said.
“Where would we go?” I asked.
“Hmm, maybe to a deserted part of the freeway? I mean, you can drive for miles on parts of it and not see anyone.”
“Yeah,” Sybil was siting close to Dan, “we could just go to one of those rest stops no one uses, walk a bit away from it and you could fly out there.”
“Sounds like a plan!” Mary smiled. “What do yo think John?”
“It’s a gambit but...” I looked over at all my friends as my wings twitched again, “I think tomorrow morning would be a good time.”
“Why tomorrow morning?” Nate asked.
“I need to be back here by the afternoon to talk to my...” I gulped, “parents.”
“Oh, ok, we’ll definitely get you back by then,” said Sybil. “But why not go today then?”
“Because,” I looked over at her computer, “it’s Saturday and we have research to do.”
“Heh, that’s right,” Dan scratched his beard, “there’s a new episode on today.”
“Can we even call it a cartoon anymore?” Nate asked.
“I think docu-drama is more fitting,” Mary joked.
We all laughed at the bizarre twist our lives has taken. The end of the world is coming and we’re watching a kid’s show. If only Sybil’s room was bigger, then I could be content to just stay there and be safe.
~~~
“Hahaha!” I laughed at Pinkie trying to cheer up Cranky. “I’m telling you, they planned this!”
“Come on John,” Mary elbowed me with a hoof, “they can’t dictate when episodes air.”
“I know, but come on! Smile Smile Smile ? Are you kidding me? How is that not meant for us? What we’re going through?”
“Ok, maybe it’s a little weird. But still, Celestia and Luna never said they could pull off something like this.”
“Yeah, but they were probably rushed. Mary, wouldn’t you try to tell stuff as fast as possible in that situation? Details are going to be left out.” Mary shifted around a little. “Something wrong?”
“It’s just, well, I think it’d be better if I had a different name now... maybe something like Summer Wind... yeah I like the sound of that.”
I stopped smiling. “Mary, are you being serious?”
“Well ‘Mary’ is kind of a weird name for a pony. Plus wind, pegasus, it just matches. You haven’t thought of a name?”
“No!” I yelled out, the volume of my voice shocked everyone else, “Never! I’ll never give up my name! It’s the last thing I’ve got!”
“You’ve still got us,” Jane tried to calm me down.
“I know, but if I give up my name then... then it won’t be the John you’re friends with anymore. I’ll be a pegasus who’d formerly been John. Please! Don’t make me do that!”
Mary patted me with a wing. “Sorry John, I didn’t mean to say that. I should have thought more before I spoke.”
“It...it’s ok, it’s just something I want. Do what you will.”
“Alright, Summer Wind it is!” Summer smiled at the prospect of a new name. I felt a twinge of sadness in my heart. Mary was gone now, but Summer was still a nice pony.
“Ya know,” Sybil looked over the situation, “I was gonna save this for later, but I think in honor of Mar- I mean, Summer’s new name, we should have a little party.” She walked over to her fridge and pulled something out. Oh. My. god. It’s a pumpkin pie. Holy crap! I love pumpkin pie! I started to drool.
“Sybil, you really didn’t need to.” Summer looked at the pie, she was drooling a little also.
“Heh, you guys are doing a good Soarin impression,” Sean commented.
“I probably shouldn’t have gotten the apple one either,” Sybil said as she reached into her grocery bag and pulled out a whole apple pie.
Oh crap, my friends are trying to kill me . “An apple pie and a pumpkin pie? Really Sybil? You’re gonna make our tongues explode!”
“Well I thought it might be a fun thing to have and I felt bad after the Chipotle incident. You always did talk about how you liked pumpkin pie. Plus, the store had a two-for-on deal going on,” As she talked she cut the pies into eight even slices. It took all my self-restraint to not start digging into them. Summer seemed to be having the same problem. Summer still doesn’t ring in my head though, it’ll take a bit to get used to.
Since there are seven of us and eight slices of pie, there was an extra slice of each pie left over. Everyone else was nice enough to let me and Summer have the last slices. Now it was a matter of choosing which flavor. “Argh, this isn’t fair!” I turned to my friends, “You’re trapping me between an incredibly delicious rock and an unbelievably tasty hard place.” I closed my mouth as Sean giggled like an asshole. “S-shut up Sean!”
“Man, I should have video tapped that!” Dan exclaimed, “We could have had evidence of piephilia.”
“Ya know I haven’t bucked anyone yet, but you two are both becoming top candidates on my list.”
“John,” Sybil teased, “you buck Dan and I’m taking that stuff just to buck you back.” She wasn’t serious, I could tell by her voice.
“Guh! Can’t I just have my pie in peace?” I looked back at the two nearly empty pie pans. “Darn it, I can’t decide!”
“Well, John,” Summer shoved the apple pie closer to me, “you can have both if you want.”
“Mary, er, Summer, sorry, I can’t do that. Trust me, I know how good these pies are.”
“Hmm,” Summer brought a hoof up to her muzzle and thought for a moment, “I got it! John, what was your favorite pie before you were a pony?”
“Um, pumpkin.”
“Ok, then I’ll get pumpkin and you’ll get apple,” she smiled.
“Why do you get my favorite?”
“Cause apple was mine!” She hummed as munched down the last of the pumpkin pie. I did the same with the apple pie.
“We ever do anything like that?” Sybil whispered to Dan.
“No, but we never got high off of eating pie before.”
That’s how things went for the rest of the afternoon and the night. At least until I sent most of my friends to the store. We’re gonna need some supplies for tomorrow.
Sybil still stayed with us though, just in case anyone comes to the door. “Hey Sybil?” I asked.
“Yeah?”
“You think you could do me a favor?” I eyed her computer again.
“What?”
“Well it’s Saturday and One Piece is online by now. Do you think you could go to the newest episode?”
“Yeah, sure.” She brought her computer over and I gave her the website address.
“Hey, um, John?” Summer chimed in. “Can I watch too?”
“But you never liked this show,” I gave her a confused look. “Besides you’d have no idea what’s going on.”
“Well can you just give me the basic details?”
“I guess,” I took a deep breath. This is gonna take a bit. “Basically there’s a bunch of pirates sailing around going on adventures. Right now, they’re at pretty much the half-way point in the story. They’re about to go to this place called the ‘New World.’”
“Hee,” she giggled, “sounds a lot like what we’re about to do. So what’s going on in this episode?”
“The first mate is fighting the big bad of the arc.”
“Why are they fighting?”
“The villain is ticked that humans don’t treat his species equally, even though he uses humans the same way humans abuse his species.”
“Oh,” Summer seems a little saddened at the prospect of different species fi- oh .
“B-but it all works out for the better in the end! I promise!” The anime’s arc had already finished in the manga. It was a pretty good ending with the villain defeated, yet his species much more open to relationships with humans.
“Ok, if you say so.”
“I promise,” I said as the opening began to play. Then a sad thought strikes me. Shoot! I’ll probably never see the ending of this. Even if the author does survive, who’s going to have time for cartoons in Equestria? I sighed a little.
“Something wrong, John?”
“It’s just that this is just another piece of humanity that’s gonna be wiped out eventually.”
“Well, I mean you have the comics as well, maybe books’ll make it through to Equestria.”
“I just don’t know,” I shook my head.
“Well, let’s enjoy it for now, while it’s here,” she smiled.
“Yeah,” I smiled back, “let’s.” We sat and watched the show together. Sybil wasn’t interested in the show so she surfed the web for a little. I fell asleep that night thinking of other ponies scattered across the globe. Where are you?
~~~
I was hidden again, this time in a sleeping bag. My friends did a good job getting everything needed for a camping trip. Only the supplies weren't for camping.
It was still pretty early in the morning when we left. The sun was just peaking up over the horizon. But it’s Sunday, so people are coming back to school at all sorts of odd hours from who-knows-where. That’s both good and bad. It meant we’re more likely to be spotted, but less likely to have questions asked. Luckily, no one stopped us as Summer and I are carried into the cars. I’m in Dan’s car, while she’s in Sybil’s. I stayed wrapped in the sleeping bag for a while as Dan drove further and further away from the school.
But eventually it got too stuffy in the bag, so I pushed the covers off my head. Dan apparently thought it was a good idea for my head to be facing the east. Ever drive early in the morning or at sunset and the sun is in your eyes no matter what you do? Yeah, that sucked even more now. “Gah! Darn it Dan! Why did you have my head facing the sun? Ugh!”
“Sean, trust me, you have no idea. I’m just glad I got used to these things before I fully went outside.” That’s right, I haven’t been outside since before Monday. I hadn’t even gone onto Sybil’s balcony, the risk of being spotted was too high.
“Aww man, it’s gonna be awesome when I get that stuff!” There’s nothing I can do to really stop Sean from being excited. My actions spoke louder than my words. I was horrified by the loss of my humanity and I still am, but then there’s the pony pros: food, flight, magic, and most importantly survival. Somewhere deep down that’s what’s driving all of us. It may be unnatural with the potion, but it was still evolution. We’re just getting a leg up in the survival of the fittest part.
We drove and drove. The city gave way to nature and nature eventually gave way to the barren desert. It’s actually kinda funny that you can drive for just a few hours and then your only connection to civilization is your car and the road it’s on. Our little convoy eventually pulled into rest stop. I was very happy: our three cars are the only ones there. We’d sent Nate and Jane ahead to scout for an empty stop. They had done well.
Dan and Sean got out of the car first and then Dan opened my door for me. By now I could open the door door with a wing or my mouth, but Dan was just being a friend. I slowly nudged myself out of the car and into the morning air.
It was sixty-eight point five three six degrees outside with a wind chill of forty-eight point nine two seven degrees. The wind was coming mainly from the southeast, likely a result of a storm in the gulf. Humidity was negligible right now. There was a seventeen percent chance of ra- how do I know this? “Ugh!” I stumbled a little as I clutched my head with a hoof.
“John, you ok?” Dan asked.
“Guh, it’s like I’ve got an accurate weatherman in my head.” The information didn’t stop coming. I didn’t just know the environment, I coult feel it. I don’t mean feeling cold, I mean feeling like if I just shifted that hot air current above Dan’s head down just a few inches, I could increase the temperature around us by point seven eight six degre- “Stop it!” I yelled aloud to my brain.
“You want to get back in the car?”
“No!” I can’t take my wings itching anymore, if I’m outside, I’m gonna fly! I just need to-”
“Wow!” Summer exclaimed. She and Sybil had just gotten out of their car. Summer seemed to be taking the experience better than I was. “John, are you feeling this?”
“More than I wish.” The information feed was dulling now. But it was still like an annoying buzzing in the back of my brain.
“You think it’s cause we’re pegasi?”
“I don’t know, but hopefully it won’t make today harder.” I looked up at the sky and my wings instinctively jutted out. They knew they’re about to be in their environment.
“Ha! John’s got a wingboner!” I bucked Sean off his feat.
“And you’ve got two huge hoof bruises now.”
“John!” Summer yelled at me. “That wasn’t nice!”
“Don’t worry, I only hit him enough to send him flying.” I looked over at Sean, who was coughing a little as he tried to get up. “He’ll be fine.” I turned back over to the rest of the group. “Ok, let’s walk a bit and then set up the soft stuff. Sean can join us when he’s back on his feet.”
We walked a bit away from the main rest stop and over to an area where it’d be hard to see us. At least until we start flying. Oh lord, I’m about to make every physicist cry in terror. I wanted to walk a little further but Summer stopped before I did. “You sure this is the best spot?”
“John, just come over here,” she beckons me with a hoof. I trotted over and... wow the air is in perfect balance. I meant it, in this tiny spot of land in the middle of the southwest desert, Summer had found the perfect spot of air. Nitrogen, Oxygen, Argon, Neon, Carbon Dioxide , Methane, Ozone... everything was in balance.
“Oh, wow,” I was a little afraid to breath. I didn’t want to set of the air’s ratio.
“I know, it’s beautiful.” Summer stared up at the sky above us.
“Are you two ok?” Jane asked.
“Yeah,” Sybil looked at us curiously, “you’re acting like you’ve seen a barrel of apples or something.”
I partially snapped out of my euphoric state. “Well, it’s kinda like that, but this is more, hmmm, aesthetic.”
“Aesthetic?” Nate looked confused.
“Imagine the most beautiful painting you’ve ever seen and then jumping into it.” Summer was much better at expressing these things than I was. Everyone else just gave me and her weird looks. To them the morning air was just air, not the glorious golden balance of elements Summer and I could feel. Maybe if I just shift this cool current up and this hot current down . I stretched out my wings and shifted the currents around. A light breeze began to blow on all of us.
“John?” Dan felt the wind ruffling his jacket. “What did you do?”
“Well I thought maybe it’d be better if the air was moving a bit mor-” I... I just controlled the weather . I backed up a little “Oh... oh my god.”
“A pegasus and an airbender, you’re just getting all the good shows aren’t ya?” Nate said with a bit of envy in his voice.
“Hmm,” Summer eyed the air in front of her as she moved her wings around it. Suddenly, the breeze stopped and the temperature increased by a fraction of a degree. “Wow! That is neat!” She then turned her head up to the clouds. “John we’ve got to try messing with the clouds!”
“Hold your horses Ma- Summer! We’ve got to get the basics down first!” I gave the signal for everyone else to set up the “landing pad”. It’s just a loose pile of sleeping bags and pillows (I wished we could have fit a mattress into someones car). I wanted to make today a least a little less painful.
Once the “pad” was set up, everything was ready. I stepped up first to the pad. I didn’t want Summer to get hurt. Heh, I wonder if this is what the Wright brothers felt like? I closed my eyes, and focused on one thing: leaving the ground. I started beating my wings. The air currents were swirling around me as I pumped my wings faster and faster. I felt a sensation tugging at my back. It felt like I was standing on the tips of my hooves. Then I felt nothing beneath my hooves for a fraction of a second. Then I was back on the pad.
“Wow John! That was great for you first time!” Summer looked over me as I stared at the sky. No, it was her eyes I was starring at.
“Please, I barely even got off the ground.” I stumbled up and brushed myself off.
“Well you’ve done more than anypony else,” she smiled. “But now it’s my turn!” I walked off the pad and let Summer take center stage. Summer mimicked my previous actions. But it was definitely weird to watch. As she beat her wings, her back rose first and then the rest of her body followed. I anxiously watched her hooves leave the ground for a second, no two seconds! Then she fell just like I did.
“You ok?”
“Better than ok, that was so exhilarating!” I helped her up with a hoof.
“You’re definitely already ahead of me. You were up for an actual few seconds.”
“Na, you were probably up longer than I was.”
“You’re just being nice.
“No, I’m serious!”
“How about we just say you were both up for the same time?” Sybil acted as our unbiased judge.
“Ok,” we both replied before I walked onto the mat again. I’m determined to beat my record this time.
~~~
That’s how most of the morning went. As the sun inched higher and higher into the sky, so did Summer and I. By noon I was beating Summer in the height race: I could get up to twelve feet in the air. But she was a bit more maneuverable: she could already move freely in three dimensions while I could only move up, down, left, right, backwards and forwards. We were both sweating a lot and the pad was now covered in dust and from our repeated falls on it. “*Huff* You wanna *huff* get lunch?” We were both winded by now as well, flying is a lot harder than the show made it look.
“Yeah *Huff* that sounds good.”
Dan, Nate and Sean went get the food while Summer and I waited with Jane and Sybil. “How are you able to maneuver so well?”
“How are you able to get so high?”
“Screw it, I’m too hungry and tired to think about it.” As Summer and I talked, the guys came back with lunch. Apples and... sandwiches? “Um, guys? You know meat is like ipecac to us now right?”
“Ah, that’s right we have to give up meat,” Sean seemed both depressed and enthusiastic about the prospect.
Dan sighed a little, Sean’s spontaneity could get tiring after a while. “Don’t worry John, no meat today.” He walked over and gave me a sandwich. I nervously smelled it. But, then my face lit up at the smell. “Alfalfa?” Dan nodded.
“Oh! we haven’t tried that yet!” Summer wanted a sandwich now too. Dan gave her one as well.
Before I dug into the sandwich though, I looked over at my human friends. “You’re sure you’re ok with just eating vegetables?”
“I’m not complaining,” Sybil said as she took a bite of her sandwich, “it’s healthier than what most college kids eat.”
“Amen to that,” Jane smacked on the alfalfa.
We enjoyed lunch for a little and rested while our food digested. We all sat down on the pad and looked at the clouds.
“Oooh! Hey John look at that cloud!” Summer pointed a hoof at cloud that’s close to a nearby mountain.
“What about it?” I looked at the cloud but can’t see anything significant. It didn’t even have a funny shape. Then I saw a little grey protrusion sticking out near the top of the cloud. “It’s low hanging.”
“If we tried really hard, we could probably reach it.”
“But we can’t drag the pad over there.”
“John, the training wheels will have to come off sometime. You can’t learn to ride a bike without getting a few scrapes.” She stood up and flapped her wings. She was getting ready for takeoff.
“Only bikes don’t fly and in this case I’m both the rider and the bike.” I also stood up. Something was calling me to fly more. But I still wanted to be safe. “Everyone, we’re gonna try and reach that cloud.” I pointed at the cloud with a hoof. “We might take a spill, so get ready to try and catch us, or something.”
“Come on! Let’s go!” Like that Summer was off, she’s stayed about a foot off the ground while going pretty fast. I tried to catch up with her but... Damn! She’s got a much better handle on flying than I do. I couldn’t see how far behind we were leaving the rest of our friends.
We reached the mountain in almost no time. Then we began to get higher into the air. Summer and I climbed diagonally and stuck close to the mountain. “Come on John, I’m gonna beat ya!”
“Darn it! It’s not fair, you’re a better flyer than me!” I was getting tired of Summer being a better flyer than me. I know I can fly just as well as her, my wings are telling me I can! The cloud was directly above us now. I did something stupid. I decided to go straight up to the cloud, a straight path is always the fastest. “Summer, I’ll see you at the top!” I began to climb the sky at a near vertical slope now.
“John what are you... oh my gosh, be careful!” It’s too late for me to go back down now. ten, fifteen, twenty feet. I was getting higher and higher. I looked down and see Summer imitating me as well. I pushed my wings harder in order to beat her.Oh crap, crap! What if I break something? My friends can’t take care of that, I’ll have to get medical help and then... I shut my eyes as the ground got closer and closer.
“Fly ,” a voice calls out to me. My wings listened. I rapidly upturned, just barely missing the ground and then I was in the air again. No, it’s more than that: I’m not in the air, I’m with the air. Before, I’d just been using my own wing strength to fly, but now I was using my wings to shift the currents around me and flow with them. I zigzagged through the sky and easily reached the cloud.
The cloud. I thought at first that I’d just go through it, like an airplane would. But instead, it lightly pushed me back when I tried to go through it. But the texture, my god, the texture. If I had thought that little spot of air was perfect, than this cloud was beyond perfect. Softer than the smoothest of silk and having the exact right balance between firm and bouncy. But it was also fragile, when I flapped my wings a part of the cloud dissipated into water vapor.
I was so transfixed by the cloud that I didn’t notice Summer finally reach me. “How did you do that? One second you’re about to crash into the dirt, the next you’re imitating Rainbow Dash.”
“Well I wouldn’t go that far. But it was weird, I was falling and then I just knew what to do. It’s all about flowing with the air currents or getting them to flow for you.
“Hmm, I see.” Summer then shut her wings and fell.
“Mary!” I cried out her human name as she plummeted to the earth. I raced after her, but I wasn’t gonna make it. Then she pulled up right before she hit the ground. Then she flew right up next to me.
“Ok, now I get it,” she smiled despite having just risked her life. “Man, that makes this so much easier.” She now casually floated around, letting the currents dictate her path. I flew a bit more purposefully, but I knew the feeling. It’s like floating in a pool almost... except for the hundreds of feet in the air part. “Oh, that’s right! The cloud!” She zoomed over to the fluffy mass and prodded it with a hoof. “Neat!”
“More like impossible. There’s no way something this awesome is an everyday occurrence and we haven’t utilized it yet.”
“Maybe humans can’t utilize it.”
“You’re telling me we can split an atom but we can’t make beds out of this stuff?” I poked the cloud.
“John, we can, but humans can’t.” That’s right, a human could never do any of this. A human shouldn’t do any of this: it didn’t make sense. I frowned a little. “Maybe we should go ba-” A piece of cloud hit me in the face. “What the hell?”
“Come on John, have a little fun with this! Nopony on Earth has probably ever played with a cloud before!” As she talks, she scooped up a piece of the cloud with her hooves and packed it into a ball. The cloud’s color darkened as it compressed. Then her hair stood on its ends. “Yowch!”
“What just happened?”
“The frickin cloud shocked me!”
“What? How?”
“I don’t know, I was just trying to make it smaller and then it shocked me!” She bucked the big cloud in playful anger. “Stupid cloud!”
“You’re insane.”
“Well at least I don’t have a cloud beard.”
“A wha-” Another volley of white blanketed my face. I brushed it off with a hoof. “Oh you’re gonna get it now!” I scooped up some of the cloud and prepared to throw it at Summer, but she was already running away.
“You’ll have to catch me!” She yelled back at me. I gave chase. I chased her over and under the clouds. We shifted their shapes as we went by them. Eventually, Summer raced ahead and got behind a cloud. But I had a plan. I forced an air current up towards the middle of the cloud, creating a little hole in the cloud. Then I zoomed straight at the hole. I got drenched inside the cloud. It was like going through a carwash but without the soap. Then I popped up the other side and scared the hell out of Summer.
“Gotcha!”I tackled her on top of the cloud. It felt much warmer than the bottom of a cloud. Maybe it’s because it’s getting more sunlight.
“Oh wow John, look,” Summer’s eyes scanned the horizon. We were pretty high up and the landscape, even the desert, looked beautiful from this height.
“Heh, you usually have to be on an airplane to see something like this.” I looked at the vast view and cursed that I don’t have my glasses anymore. Even with pony senses, I still saw everything kinda blurry. It’s a bittersweet reminder of my humanity. As I looked around as I shook off the water that was still clinging to my coat and wings.
“John, that’s cold!”
“Oh, you don’t like the water?” I flapped a wet wing in her direction, sending a small wave of water droplets at her. Then I noticed the sun. It was getting lower now. “Oh crap!”
“What? Regret ticking me off?” she playfully teased.
“No, it’s getting late, we need to get back. My parents are waiting for my skype call.”
“Oh that’s right, sorry.”
“It’s not your fault, time just flies when you’re having fun.”
“Heh, flies .”
I cringed at the unintentional pun I made. “Come on, the others are probably waiting for us.
~~~
We flew down and meet the others. But something is up. Only Nate, Sybil, and Dan were waiting for us. “Where are Jane and Sean?” I asked.
“Well...” Sybil seemed nervous about something.
“Surprise motherbucker!” Sean screamed as he darted out of a nearby bush and tackled me to the ground.
“Sean what the hell?! Get your hoo...” Oh crap! No, oh please no! I nervously looked up and was met with a grey muzzle and red eyes. “You didn’t.”
“I bucking did!” He got off me and I stood up and looked at him. His coat was grey and his mane was blond with a teal stripe running through; his tail had the same color scheme. No horn or wings though. Sean was now an Earth Pony. “It’s incredible! The show did not give Earth ponies enough credit! This is un-bucking-believable. Wish we were in forest though, the ph level in the soil sucks here.”
“Sean what the hell?!”
“Sorry John,” it was Jane’s voice. “We thought now would be the best time, since we were moving around.” She trotted out from behind the bush she and Sean were hiding behind. Her coat was teal, while her mane and tail were red with pastel yellow highlights. A horn protruded from her head. Jane was now a unicorn.
“But how? I... Mary?!” I looked over at my pegasus friend. “What did you do?!”
“Well, I talked with everypony and decided if we were going to drink, now would be the best time. We still followed the drink order you gave us though” she looked at me apologetically. “I just wanted to make everypony happy.”
“That’s nice Mary, but how are we... what the hell?!” Summer’s flank was glowing now. “Jane? Are you doing something?”
“No,” Jane replied, “I just learned how to walk, I don’t know how to use my horn yet!”
The glow intensified and for a second all of us were blinded. When I can see again, I noticed there was a smiling sun on Summer’s flank now. I’m more concerned with other pony with a sun on their flank though. “Celestia! Oh my god!” Celestia was standing in front of all of us... kind of. She sort of looked like a ghost from the Star Wars movies. But it was definitely her, it was kinda eerie how well the show had portrayed her.
“Princess,” Summer bowed. I stood gawking at Equestria’s sovereign.
“My little ponies... and humans.” Her voice was calm, but it held weight to it as well. “You are doing well, already flying and converting your friends. But I fear time keeps slipping for us.”
“W-what do you mean?” Jane asks.
“Magic entropy is progressing. You and the others have managed to slow it down by utilizing your magic. But every day, its dominion grows.”
“What can we do?” I asked.
“Do not worry young one, we are preparing to send more potion. We also are going to try and send help.”
“Help?”
“Yes, but we can’t do much else right now, this communication is difficult to pull off without sufficient magic levels. But I do have one last thing to give you for your service.” Celestia was looking directly at me now. It was like I was staring at the sun, but the light she gave off was gentle. Suddenly, Celestia’s horn glowed and there was another bright flash of light.
Then just as quickly as she appeared, Celestia was gone. But something was different: I could see clearly now. I rotated my eyes around and saw the frames of glasses in the corners of my eyes. “She gave me glasses.”
“Aww shit pony, you got royal glasses now.” Sean looked like he was about to explode with excitement.
“That is pretty cool John,” Jane was looking back and forth between my glasses and Summer’s flank. “Although getting a cutie mark probably beats you out.”
“Damn straight!” Sean got way too close looking at Summer’s new cutie mark.
“Hmm,” Nate walked over to look at it too, “what’s it mean?”
“Well,” Summer craned her neck to look at her mark, “I wanted to make everypony happy and I’m a pegasus. So maybe it means I can brighten up anypony’s day!” She smiled.
“That was pretty corny,” Dan said.
“Well it was the best I could think of,” Summer pouted.
“You know what this calls for?” Sybil did her Pinkie Pie imitation. “A party!”
“Ok,” I said, “that’s good and all, but for now I need to get back to school. I don’t want my parents to think anything is up. We'll deal with this tonight.”
“Ok,” Sybil replied, “we’ll do the party later.”
The Conversion Bureau: Reality Break
Saga 1: Part 4: Double Vision
Alvarez was breathing heavily. The graze wound on his shoulder hurt. He was praying the fat man’s men would just leave the warehouse he was hiding in. That was how life went for Alvarez: he was running, always running.
He actually liked the Bolivian streets more than his home. His father wasn’t there and there were others like Alvarez. Regardless of how they had left their homes, they were now all street children. Yes, they stole, but it was only to get food or money to buy food. Some of the other children were more violent, but Alvarez tried to never hurt any of the people he stole from. In a way, he became an example to the other children. Their group wasn’t organized and it certainly had no leader, but Alvarez stood as an example of how they should live there lives.
At least until the fat man came. No one knew what his real name was and his subordinates hadn’t spoken at all. Alvarez had known something was up as soon as he saw the tailored suit the man wore. Sometimes a drunk native or a lost tourist would stumble into their part of the city, but never anyone dressed that extravagantly. He had walked into the center of the street most of them lived on and had thrown down a huge stack of banknotes. “This is only a small amount of what you’ll get if you work for me!” He had called out.
Alvarez had remained in the shadows, no one ever gave anything away for free. But another boy wasn’t as suspicious, he hadn’t been able to steal any food in the last market raid. He had walked out into the middle of the street and was looking at the money with a delirious gaze. “What... what do you want?”
“Ah, a simple task, I want you to do what you children always do: run.” The man pulled out a small burlap sack and withdrew a small plastic bag from it. Even from his hiding spot, Alvarez could instantly recognize the white powder in the bag. “Only this time I want you to bring stuff rather than take it.”
“Naw man, we don-” In an instant the boy’s head was gone. One of man’s thugs was holding smoking rifle. That was when Alvarez and the rest of the children had scattered. They knew the alleys and the streets, where they cut off and where they narrowed or expanded. But everywhere Alvarez had gone, the thugs were there as well. All the time he had been running, he’d heard gunshots and screams. He’d screamed too when the bullet had hit him in the shoulder. It hurt worse than any shank wound he’d received.
He had gotten desperate and just wanted to escape, so he’d tried to hide in the warehouse. It had been abandoned, but it was still full of empty crates, their contents had been raided long ago. Alvarez clasped at his shoulder wound as he tried to quiet his breathing.
~~~
Atunga wanted water, a drink, anything. The Kenyan air was especially especially hot today. The sun hadn’t even risen yet and already the temperature was rising. Yet, despite the air, the clouds were still mocking Atunga as he made his way to the well. The Maasai never had their own well and the closest city had had its well dry up last week. So now he had to walk even further to get water. Normally, his mother or one of his sisters would go get it, but his mother had fallen ill and his sisters were taking care of her.
Thus, getting water fell on him. But he was weak too, he’d let his mother and his sisters drink the last of the emergency water. As the hot wind blew across his face, his lips cracked and bled a little. He moved his tongue around and spread the blood around his lips. Any liquid, any liquid at all, felt nourishing right now.
Then the well came into view over the horizon. He rushed forward. He didn’t see the stick that was on the path begin to move as he got closer and closer to it. He just wanted a drink.
~~~
“Boooyyy,” the fat man called out, “I know you are in here. You’re the last one, the rest are with me now.” Alvarez’s heart was in his throat, but he didn’t want to take a breath. “Surely delivery can’t be that hard?” As he talked, his men inched closer to where Alvarez was hiding. “Come with me and you can have all the food you want or anything else you desire. Don’t make me waste bullets.”
Alvarez clutched his mother’s rosary and prayed. He’d taken it the night he’d left home. Please god, help . A blinding flash answered his call. It struck him, the fat man, and his thugs. Despite being unable to see, Alvarez knew it was time to move. He pushed the containers with all his strength. He couldn’t hear the men’s screams over all the crates falling like dominos. When the dust cleared he could see again. There was a small bottle and a shot glass next to him now. The bottle looked like the whiskey bottle he’d stolen from a tourist a while ago. He’d regretted not saving more of that.
There was also a scroll next to the bottle. As Alvarez bent down to pick it up, a gunshot rang out and something struck him in the leg. “Boy!” the fat man had emerged from the wreckage and was now holding a smoking pistol, “You’ll pay!” He struggled to get up, but a piece of wood was embedded in his leg. “You brat!” he fired another shot, but the pain was making his aim shaky.
Alvarez grabbed the bottle and the glass out of instinct and tried to run. But the pain caused him to only limp quickly. But he was still faster than the man. He stumbled over the the exit and into the night, he left a trail of blood in his wake.
He limped over to an alleyway, but tripped over some cracked cement. His pants were quickly getting stained from his wound. He looked at the bottle and the glass in his hands. “Heh, the first time I’m ever given something and I’m about to die. Might as well have a final drink.” He shakily poured himself a drink. Whatever it was, he hoped it’d make his death just a bit less painful. “Sorry, everyone.”
~~~
He hadn’t heard the snake hiss as he passed it, but Atunga had felt the snake’s lethal venom as it sunk its fangs into his right leg. In shock, Atunga fell; the snake had struck and now it slithered off. Atunga tried to get up, but his body wouldn’t listen to him. His heart was beginning to hurt as well. Atunga remembered how his father had said his heart hurt right before he passed away. A snake had stuck him as well. But the well was so close, if only he could just get a drink.
There was a flash and then a simple water bottle and a plastic cup were in front of him. He didn’t even see the scroll next to it. He didn’t care that the drink was strange and purple. It was a liquid and that was what mattered. With the last of his strength he poured himself a cup and drank it. It was the sweetest thing he ever drank.
“Sister, is this right? ” Luna asked. “They don’t know about us. ”
“But they are strong, look how they would have died; they are what we need. All of them will know of us eventually. We have to start somewhere, ” Celestia responded.
“I suppose, but... ”
“Holy mother? ” Alvarez asked. Damn, I must have gotten shot. “Where am I? ”
“Wait, ” Atunga felt odd, it appeared he was on a field, but there were three spheres in front of him: two large ones in the sky and a smaller green one right in front of him, “what is going on? ”
“Jesus? ” Alvarez asked the white sphere in front of him.
“Sister, ” Luna interrupted, “one of them thinks you’re a deity again and he thinks the other seed is one as well. ”
“I know sister, but it is the way this realm operates. ” Celestia then turned her attention Atunga and Alvarez, “children, I apologize for this, allow me to try and explain. First, did you read the letters? ”
“No, I’m sorry, um, mam, but I just needed drink so badly and the snake hurt so much an- ” Atunga was nervous.
“That is fine child, if it meant saving your life than I am happy .” Celestia gazed at Alvarez now. “And you? ”
“I...I apologize, um, what should I call you? ” Is it god?
“I am Celestia, the ruler of the land of Equestria. ”
“And I am Luna, the other ruler of Equestria, ” Luna responded.
“But why am I... ” Alvarez looked over at the white sphere that was next to him, “we here? ”
“We have chosen you to help us, ” Celestia’s tone grew serious, “a great peril faces both our worlds. I fea- ” the field and the sky shook, “Oh no! ”
“Sister, it has struck again hasn’t it? ” Luna’s voice was nervous now. Alvarez felt like all the hairs on his back were standing up.
“W-what it is it? ”
“Child, I’m afraid time has run out somewhere close to you, ” Celestia’s voice was foreboding now.
“What about me? ” Atunga asked nervously.
“No the sun is still shining on you, I can feel it. But... ”
“The moon no longer graces your home, ” Luna said to Alvarez.
“W-w-what does that mean? ” The dread in Luna’s voice frightened Alvarez. In all his years on the street, Alvarez had never felt so afraid.
“You will be fine child, but when you awaken you will be alone... I apologize for this. ” The sky above Celestia's sphere seemed to darken a little.
Brothers, sisters! Alvarez wanted to cry. “My family... are they gone? ”
“I do not know, but you now have to power to save others from that fate. ”
“I do? ”
“Yes, both of you do now, but what is most important is tha- ” another tremor shook the realm and then both Alvarez and Atunga were gone.
~~~
It was too quite. Alvarez slowly got up from where he had fallen. On instinct, he looked around to get his surroundings, everything looked normal but it felt... muted, like someone had sucked all the life out of everything. Then he saw the figure of the fat man and nearly died of fright. The man was looking straight at Alvarez, but he wasn’t moving. An insane look was frozen on his face.
“What the hell?!” Alvarez tried walking over to him but his stumbled on his legs... the second pair of them. “What did I hi-” His legs were green now, only they weren’t legs, they were hooves. “Oh god!” He flailed his hooves around looking for his rosary. Then he looked back over where he had fallen. His rosary was now just a a tattered piece of string, some scattered beads and an old cross.
He stumbled back over to where his clothes were and tried to pick up the remains of the rosary. “Mama...” he felt something wet on his face. He hadn’t cried since the night he’d ran away, but now the night’s events had been too much for him to handle. He tried to pick up the last reminder of his mother, but all his attempts failed at picking up the relic. At first, he tried with his hooves, but everything was too small to grasp. Then he tried with his mouth: he was able to clench the string between his teeth, but he nearly swallowed some of the beads. Eventually, he just decided to pick up the cross: it was the easiest thing to carry.
Lord almighty, what has happened? He looked up into the sky expecting to see the spheres from his dreams. But there were only clouds, clouds that were far too still. It had been a windy night before all this had happened. He drugged me, he had to have drugged me, if that is the case...
He slowly walked over to the fat man. The man’s maniacal face frightened him, but Alvarez wanted revenge for his fallen siblings. He thought of punching him, but his right forehoof kicked up instead. But instead of hitting the man, the kick went right right through him. Alvarez jumped back, he bit down on his cross a little harder. The fat man was still staring at where Alvarez had fallen with the same insane look. Something told Alvarez it was time to run. Whatever had happened here was a transgression against everything. He didn’t even care about the bottle anymore. He just wanted to get away. Fear propelled his legs now and gave him balance.
He quickly ran out of the his normal streets and into the tourist section of town. He stopped and looked around in horror. People with families, with friends, with gangs: all of them were frozen. Alvarez then noticed the headlights behind him. He jumped out of the way of the oncoming car only to see that the car wasn’t moving. But the old chrome coating still showed Alvarez’s reflection. He looked and saw that his form was a small green horse with purple eyes and a black mane. “Oh...oh god...” His cross dropped from his mouth onto the pavement, his dinner followed.
He’d seen horrific things on the streets. Boys tearing each other apart over a piece of moldy bread, girls pushing each other into the street to earn money from clients, brothers weeping over raids gone wrong; but nothing had prepared Alvarez for this. Everything had gone wrong, horribly, horribly wrong. The world as he knew it was now broken, a cog had sprung loose in its clock.
“They...they said I could fix it.” He trotted over toward a frozen couple, definitely American tourists: the man had some advanced cell phone in his hand and looked like he was about to take a picture, the woman was clutching the man’s other arm and smiling, and red dotted both their faces. “Please!” Alvarez cried out, “please move!” The couple remained motionless, their faces forever frozen in bliss.
He bolted, he bolted faster than he’d ever gone before. It was even worse than the night he’d run away from home. At least then, he’d known that there was life outside his house. But now, there was only the motionless abyss. He kept running until the city’s light’s fell away. He was in the jungle now. He smacked past a humming bird frozen in midair and then he stopped.
Something wet had hit his face. “R-rain?” He slowly trotted forward as he felt more raindrops. Then he collapsed to the ground; his brain was on fire. Acai over there, acerola over there, achocha there, ayapana growing a few feet to the left, camu-camu about fifty feet abov- “Stop it!” Alvarez cried out to his brain to shut up, but the information kept coming. Sloths in the canopy, a lone orangutan sleeping in the trees, bugs, so many bugs! Alvarez clasped his hooves against his head. He squirmed as he felt everything in the forest. “Shut up! Just shut up!”
He was on the ground for a while. The information kept coming, but eventually it stopped screaming in his head and softened into a loud buzzing. Alvarez now had the monster of all migraines. “Ugh!” He was barely able to stand. He stumbled over and rested on a nearby tree. It’s got a fungus infection, but it’s Lentinus so it shouldn't be poisono- “Be quiet!” Alvarez snapped at his own brain. “The white sphere, he was there too, gotta find the sphere.” He shuffled off into the dark night, unsure where he had to go.
The sun was burning Atunga’s eyes. He tried to shut them more but it kept getting in. It was more intense there anything he’d ever felt before. The temperature was abysmal as well, 98.769 degrees, far hotter than it should have been this time of year. “Gah!” He shuffled up to his feet, but he couldn’t keep his balance. He fell down again, his whole body felt wrong. “Damn! Snakebite must be ge-” his skin was white, although that didn’t shock him as much as the fact that his arm wasn’t arm anymore. It was a hoof.
“Ahh!” Something on his back moved and kicked up the dust and air that surrounded him. He slowly turned around and saw white wings. “Wh...what?” They flapped on instinct.
Then he remembered the dream. It was like something out of the stories his mother had told him when he was little, how guardian spirits watched over all everyone. He looked at his shadow. His shadow looked like a very thing cow and the wings were like nothing he’d ever seen before. As he stared, a strand of green hair fell in front of his face. He screamed again. “I... I need to get home, someone will know what to do there. If I hurry, the snakebite shouldn’t kill me.”
He then noticed the leg he’d been bitten on didn’t hurt any more. He looked back again and saw that his right hindleg was fine, there were no marks on it. He shook his head an chalked it up to an illusion, brought on by the venom. Then he noticed the bottle and the cup as well. “The drink!” Whatever it was, it was a liquid, he could give it to mother. Then she could get better. Maybe that’s what causing me to hallucinate, but at least it made my leg stop hurting.
He reached out to grab the bottle but stopped. He didn’t have hands anymore. He was prepared for this though. He’d had to carry stuff in his mouth before, on the Serengeti when his hands had been full of native fruits. He’d had to carry his club in his mouth. Everyone in the village had been happy with his spoils that day, but his mouth had been sore for days afterwards.
Now he carefully bit into the bottle. He noticed there were lines on it the bottle as well, indicating certain levels of the liquid. He was able to get a good grip on it and started to walk home. Luckily, some far-off clouds covered up the sun, its glare had been turning Atunga’s world white. After a few stumbles, he managed to half-trot, half-shuffle along the path. Halfway home, stopped and rested. By now he had gotten a little more used to the bizarre way he saw the world, but the sun still stung.
Atunga noticed a cloud float in front of the sun now. To block out that much sunlight, it has to have a significant amount of water. Atunga rubbed his head with a hoof. “What am I thi-” The cloud isn’t that far away it’d be easy to get to. He picked up the bottle,trotted away from his resting spot, and the looked at the cloud intensely. He thought back to how thirsty he’d been earlier that day, how thirsty everyone in the village was. The bottle wouldn’t help them all, but rain could. He zoned out.
The next thing he felt was something soft. He looked down and saw that he was high above the world. He was standing on the cloud. “I can touch the clouds... I can bring the rain!” He walked over to the edge of the cloud and looked at world far below. He still clenched the bottle tightly. I must have died on the road. But why am I still this strange creature then? He looked at the hooves again. It doesn’t matter, I can get water now, that’s what’s important. But how do I move th-
His wings flapped and the cloud moved a little. “Ah-ha!” He grinned with the bottle still between his teeth. He focused and felt the appendages on his back. They felt kinda like arms, but the didn’t bend the same way. After erratically scooting the cloud around the sky for about half an hour, Atunga had gotten a rudimentary understanding of his wings. He looked down at the ground again and traced the beaten path he had traveled to and from the well.
A storm was coming and he was going to bring it.
End Part 4
The Conversion Bureau: Reality Break
Interlude Two: Technical Difficulties
“Mom? You there?” I said to my computer screen.
“Oh hey John,” my mother said in her usual bubbly voice, “you feeling any better?”
“Kind of.” I looked back and flapped my wings. I was now in Nate’s room. It was just me and him right now, but Sean will be sleeping here as well from now on.
“Do you need us to send you anything?”
“Please don’t, I have enough cold medicine to last until the end of time.” My statement is probably more true than I wished it was.
“Hey, is your video not working?”
“The wi-fi on campus has been weird lately,” I lied. “I didn’t feel like dealing with internet troubles today.” My video may have been off, but I could still clearly see my parents. My house was still normal and they were still humans. It was hard to think I wasn’t even the same species as them anymore.
“Well, do what you want,” my dad said. “You probably don’t look that good after that cold you’ve been dealing with anyway.”
“Heh, yeah, it’s really done a number on me, had to miss a few classes.” I hadn’t been to class since last Friday. Grades, like money, seemed pretty inconsequential in the face of the apocalypse.
“Well you do what you can to get better. Although, you sound much better. Just keep up your grades, ok?”
“Yes dad,” the droll “I’m tired of your nagging” voice wasn’t hard to pull off.
“So?” Mom asked.
“So what?”
“Did you hear the news?”
“What news?” I haven’t seen the news at all today.
“About the radiation leak in Nevada.”
“What?” There’s no way something as catastrophic as that could happen in a day. Especially in Nevada, nothing ever happens there.
“Yeah, apparently Yucca Mountain started leaking radiation into the groundwater. Most of the state’s been closed off. They actually had to evacuate Las Vegas.”
“Are you serious?” Something isn’t right.
“It’s pretty nasty, but people said it should be contained to Nevada, but you know how politicians are.”
“You’re safe though, right?” Nevada touched my home state.
“We’re fine, you know, aside from your sister having boyfriend drama.”
“Again?” Evidently, some things never change.
“Whatever. Oh yeah, Japan was also in the news today.”
“It was?”
“Mmhm, apparently all of that anime street-”
“Akihabara.”
“Yes, that one, apparently all the power went out to it last night. But the rest of Tokyo was fine. They say it might have been a terrorist attack.”
“Ok.” The power grid can’t work like that, especially not for Tokyo. Something is happening.
“It's kinda weird, there hasn't been any video of what happened there and no witnesses have come forward who were actually in the anime town.”
“Are there any other details?”
“Well some people outside of the town, street, whatever, said they saw a blue flash in the sky and then a few minutes later, a blue blur running through the streets.”
“That’s odd.” My god, is it another seed? Did they blow Tokyo’s power fuse?
“ Anyway, how’s that pony show you and your friends watch going?”
“I-it’s going f-fine.”
“John, you know I’m fine with you liking that show. I mean, you and your friends seem to have fun getting together and talking about it. Just don’t get too into it ok?”
Mom, you have no idea. “Heh, yeah I know... hey mom dad?”
“Yes,” they both replied.
“I... I’m doing a project for my religion class. We’re analyzing how various religions respond to the end of the world. What would you do?”
“Well,” dad replied first, “we’d try to get to you and your sister. If the world was ending, I’d at least want us to be together.”
“Yeah honey,” mom now replied, “no matter what, we’d always want to be with you until the end. You’re feeling ok right?”
“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine.” It’d be so easy to hit the video button now. Should I tell them the truth? One way or another it’ll find them. “Thanks.” I couldn’t do it, not yet at least.
“Take care son,” dad waved as he walked off the screen.
“We’ll talk to you next week, hope you get better.” My mom waved as well.
“Thanks mom, see ya then.” I clicked off of skype.
Then I looked at my computer screen. I couldn’t really type anymore, but the scroll pad still worked with a hoof. I practiced a little on Sybil’s computer (nearly broke it), so I could still open stuff up. What use is it if I can’t type though? Then I saw my email icon jumping up and down, a sign that something was up with it. I scrolled down and clicked it.
[Gmail] message box is full do you wish to delete older messages?
What the hell? I just opened that thing up, there can’t be that much spam. I clicked No and looked through the emails. My heart stopped.
“Are you really a pony?”
“Where can I get the drink?”
“Is Celestia real?
“Where are you right now?”
“Is Equestria real?”
“Do you get to choose which race you are?”
“Have you changed your name yet?”
“How can we call you?”
The screen was filled with hundred of emails like that. “Holy Shit! Nate! Get over here!” Nate had been watching some anime with his headphones plugged in while I’d been talking with my parents. So I needed to yell a little to get his attention.
“What is it?”
“Someone talked!”
“What do you mean?”
“Someone has told the internet about me and they believed whoever it was!”
“Well, isn’t that what we wanted?”
“No! No, no, no! We can’t let this thing move beyond our control! That’s when the government takes notice and... they take me.”
“So what do we do?”
“We need to find the source of these emails. Check Equestria Daily first... that’s the worst case scenario.” Nate typed in the url and then I saw my face plastered on the front of Equestria Daily. “Oh F*&k.” The title above my picture was “Ponies, Are They Here?” Then there was a the blurb below it from Sethisto:
Oh man guys, I think I’m losing it here. But this is a pic I got a few days back. Everyone on the site has run it through the gauntlet, but we can’t find any proof of editing. Then we’ve also got the chat log from the TCB IRC, which is even more insanity. Apparently, whoever this was was originally a human. Then he drank some ‘pony potion’ and wound up like this. He even got a letter from Celestia that apparently says we’ve got an apocalypse on our hands.
I know, this sounds like a bad fic. Right now, we’re trying to get into contact with human-turned-pony, but as of yet we have not gotten any response. We are in very strange waters right now people. This may either be the greatest joke our fandom’s ever pulled off or serious business. Right now it’s all speculation.
“Nate, go to the IRC right now!” I was about to pop a blood vessel.
“Ok.”
I had him type in the requirements and then told him to write exactly what I said.
FMP: Who? Who the hell was it?
Intangiblepony: Oh hey FMP you see EqD?
DaBunnanaKing: Holy crap it’s him!
Cloudhammer: Dude you’re famous now!
FMP: All of you shut up! Who the hell sent that stuff to EqD?
Cloudhammer: You ok?
FMP: No! the government is probably gonna be banging on my door any second now!
Intangiblepony: Well the thing is a few days old
FMP: it’s on the front of the damn site!
DaBunnanaking: Neat huh? So is there more potion coming?
Midnight: It was Krass
FMP: What?
Midnight: he wanted to get the word out, something about how if the end was coming we better be prepared. I think he might have been drinking
FMP: You idiots! You signed my death warrant!
Krass: Heyyyy irts teh poiny of the hoyur!
FMP: where are you, you son of a bitch!
Krass: Whoa didsn’rt kjnoqw popnies coyuld usse trhat lanugagee
FMP: He’s hammered
Midnight: yep
Krass: I waabnt to giicve everyplonmy a lefg up ob the ens of the wotld.
FMP: you’re insane
Krass: Buyt I;’ll be a suevicor and yiu’lcl be iur guiide, praisse Celes-
I smashed my computer with a hoof. It was just an expensive tracking device now anyway. “Nate, get that thing as far away from me as possible.”
“You ok?”
“No! I’m not! Oh Jesus, they’re gonna come for me.”
“Ok just, uh, take some deep breaths and we’ll discuss it later tonight. Talking’ll help right?”
“I pray to god that it does.”
~~~
“Aww shit, man!” Sean jumped up and down, “You made it on the front page of Equestria Daily. You were always saying you wanted to get you fan fi-”
“Shut up Sean!” I hissed at him, “Now is not the time!”
“Well John, isn’t this what we need?” Summer asked. “Don’t we need to get the word out as fast as possible?”
“Not like this! For crying out loud! Look at Sean!” Sean was fidgeting around, he looked absolutely ecstatic. “That’s who you trust to tell everpony about the end of the... Damn it!” I’d said another ponyism.
“Summer,” Jane said, “I think John is right, this isn’t the way to go about things. We need something official, something from the gove-”
“NO!” I yelled. “The government is even worse. They’d want to know everything about us.”
“Isn’t that a goo-”
“Including our physiology, you really want to be dissected or better yet vivisected?” I cursed Bleach for teaching me what that was.
“John, please calm down,” Summer asked kindly, “Jane’s been through a lot today.”
“She’s been through a lot? Mary, I’m on the front of website that gets thousands a visitors a day! I know she and Sean are ponies now bu-” I stopped, something was off. “How were you two not in pain from the outside? A cloudy day nearly crippled me.”
“Well we were outside when we drank the stuff,” Jane postulated, “maybe it helped our eyes adapt quicker?”
“Ah man,” Sean’s ears perked up, “it still gave me a headache thought. But it wasn’t as bad as the ground. Seriously, you should be glad you were on synthetic stuff when transformed.”
“Synthetic?” Such an odd statement had made me loose my train of thought.
“Yeah, it doesn’t blow your mind like earth does. Especially desert, I felt thirsty just standing there!”
“Sean,” I looked at him quizzically, “what are you talking about? The earth was fine, I mean, the air was a little low in humidity, but it was a desert.”
“Hey, that’s right: you totally lied to us about the air, it felt the same after we drank the stuff.”
“Actually,” Jane said, “the air became a little loud when we got into the city.”
“‘Loud?’” Summer asked.
“Yeah, there were so many engines running and lights on and appliances being used and...” Jane stopped, her face was a little red now.
“‘And’ what?” I asked.
“I sorta blew up Dan’s radio.”
“Hey,” Dan interrupted, “I’m just glad you didn’t blow up my whole car. Kinda glad we were at a stoplight when that happened though. That freaked me the hell out.”
“Wait, wait wait!” I called out. “Sean, what could you feel about the ground?”
“Everything man, what it was made of, its pH level, the cactus sprout you stepped on...”
“I think I’d remember stepping on a cactus Sean.”
“Naw, see it was just a little spout, didn’t even have it’s first thorn yet. Gotta admit, it may have split my head, but at least it was interesting. This carpet gets a little boring after a while.”
“Ok, ok,” I then turned to Jane, “Jane, what could you feel about the air?”
“Well, at first it was just small things, like everyone’s cell phones, or the power poles that were along the freeway. Then we got closer to the city and I started to feel this buzzing in my head. The closer and closer we got to school, the more the buzzing grew until it was pounding in my head. We were at the stop light and someone pulled up to us playing some loud base. I couldn’t take it any longer and I just wanted the pounding to stop.” Jane blushed a little more out of embarrassment. “Then I felt a little jolt in my forehead and well...”
“My radio and his radio cracked.” David interjected. “I didn’t get a good look at his, but mine was just wrecked.”
“I’m sorry Dan, I really didn’t mean to!” Jane pleaded.
“It’s ok, who knows if I’ll ever even be using my car again.”
“Ok,” I looked over at Sean and Jane. I pointed a hoof at Sean first, “so you’re an Earth Pony now and you can literaly feel the earth?” I moved my hoof over to Jane, “You’re unicorn and you can now feel electricity?” They both looked at each other then back at me and nodded.
“John, what’s up?” Sybil asked.
“Well...” I brought a hoof to my muzzle and thought for a second, “each type of pony seems to have different senses about things. Pegasi like Ma- Summer and I are more attuned to events regarding the weather, heat, and light. Earth ponies like Sean can read the earth and all its components and unicorns... hmm...”
“What?” Jane looked worried.
“You might be a bit more tricky, but for now it seems that electricity is the closest thing Earth has got to magic. That’s why you can sense it.”
“Why electricity?” Nate asked.
“Magic one day could be technology the next,” I postulated. I watch way too much sci-fi . “If you went back two hundred years with a flashlight, everyone would think you were a warlock.”
“So I’m pretty much Magneto then?” Now Jane was giddy about having electricity powers.
“No, it’s probably more than that... actually...” Summer looked over at the stack of plastic cups on Sybil’s shelf. Her eyes lit up. “Hey Jane, you should totally try moving those cups!”
“Are...are you sure?” Jane asked nervously.
“Yeah, I mean, not using your horn is like not letting us use our wings.” Summer flapped her wings for show.
“I’m with Summer on this.” That was the first time I’d used Mary’s pony name. I was more interested in seeing magic actually preformed. “You saw how our wings got all twitchy when didn’t use them. I don’t want to know what happens when unicorns don’t use their horns.”
“Oh...ok,” Jane replied. She then focused on the cups.
“Aw man, this is gonna be cool!” Sean’s eyes were wide with excitement.
“Shut up Sean!” The rest of us replied.
Then Jane’s horn lit up. It was about the same color as her hair: red with a stripe of yellow going through it. We all simultaneously “whoaed” at it. Then we saw that it was Sybil’s TV covered in a magical aura, not the stack of cups. It lifted off its shelf and floated to the middle of the room.
“Um, Jane,” Sybil had a nervous expression on her face, “that’s my TV.”
“Sorry, sorry, but I felt the power going through it and it kept making me lose focus and-” The TV fell to ground and cracked.
“Aw! I was gonna watch Godfather !” Sybil morned her lost TV.
“Sorry! Sorry!” Jane cried out. “I didn’t mean to!”
Sybil sighed, “It’s fine, still, I liked that TV.”
“Jane,” I patted her with a wing, “I think next time we fly, we’ll have you practice on some rocks. But if anything odd happens, anything, we’ll leave immediately.” Jeez and I thought flight was bad, magic doesn’t even have a basis in physics.
“Ok,” Jane sniffed, “that sounds nice.”
“Speaking of next time,” Summer looked at the smiling sun on her flank. “What about Celestia?”
“She’s even more awesome in real life!” Sean really should have been the “Pinkie Pie” of our group.
“Well...” I felt the glasses around my head, they worked perfectly: the right fit and the exact prescription. “I’m not sure what to think... more potion is coming, but the entropy... I think it might be happening in Nevada.” I shivered at the thought that the universe’s death was only a few states away.
“Why there?” Dan asked.
“It’s something my parents said. Apparently Yucca Mountain, that place where they keep all the radioactive waste had a leak or something.”
“Didn’t the government close it down or something last year?” Nate asked.
“I don’t know, but there’s no way I could have missed that on the news, unless it happened sometime between Friday night and today. Something like that should have had speculation going for days before anything major happened. The EPA would have been on this like a parasprite on ap- crap!”
“John, you ok?” Summer asked.
“No, I keep saying these damn ponyisms, it’s driving me nuts... but there are bigger issues at hand. Anyway, I think that might be where the entropy is expanding.”
“Nevada is kinda close,” Jane looked worried.
“It’ll be fine,” I tried putting on a brave face, “you heard Celestia, she said we’d already slowed it.”
“Hey, what about the other ‘seeds’ anyway?” Sean asked, “I wanna meet them!”
“You might have to fly over the Pacific then,” I replied.
“Why?” Sybil asked.
“Because, at least one other seed may be in Japan and they blew out part of Tokyo’s power.”
“Seriously?” Nate’s face was just as shocked as everyone else’s.
“Wow, and I thought my horn was bad.” Jane brought a hoof up to touch her new appendage.
“Yes, what you just told me seems to confirm my suspicions. A unicorn in Japan and lord knows where else ponies might be in the world.” What if they’ve already been captured by their governments? I shuddered at that prospect.
“So now what?” Sybil asked.
“We wait,” I replied, “Celestia promised help and that’s what we need. Whatever she’s doing is probably better than any PR we can do.”
“But I don’t want to wait!” Sean complained.
“You will wait Sean!” I stomped my hoof to the ground. “Or do you want to die in the name of science or whatever BS the government comes up with for your dissection!? Guh! I swear, you’ll get a cutie mark of a pony jumping off a cliff with it’s eyes closed!”
“Oh yeah!” Sybil interrupted. “We still need to celebrate Summer’s cutie mark!” She walked over to her food supplies and brought over a bunch of bags. “While you were with Nate, I ran to the store and got a bunch of stuff!”
I couldn’t be mad after I saw what Sybil had brought, she had gone all out. Watermelons, cantaloupes, strawberries, dragon fruit. I didn’t even know they sold that outside of Asian markets. She had brought pretty much every fruit under the sun. Then there was also rice and oats and wheatgrass. Oh man, the wheatgrass: simple, yet incredibly satisfying. This is probably what Celestia eats every day .
“Summer, did we really look that that?” I looked at Sean and Jane go into ecstatic shock over the food.
“You still kinda do!” Summer smiled before digging into a pomegranate. “Oh wow, that is so sweet!” A little bit of the juice dribbled down her chin. It was my turn to laugh. “Hey come on! You do it too!”
“Yeah, but you know what they say, it’s funnier when it happens to somepony else!” I laughed.
“You watch yourself, I’m gonna get ya!”
Meanwhile, Jane was whispering with Dan and Sybil. “Hey everypony!” She called us to attention. “I’ve been thinking, actually since you told me about this, and I’ve decided... I think Dawn Strider will be a good name from now on.”
“You too, Jane?” I frowned a little.
“Well, it’s been on my mind since Tuesday. I mean, you really shocked me then. But well, what if in Equestria, ponies don’t accept us for having human names?”
“Oh snap!” Sean interrupted, “She’s right, they’ll be like ‘oh you’re from Earth, guess you’re not really a pony then.’”
“I highly doubt that Sean. Celestia is probably preparing everypony as we speak.” I stopped and thought about how odd that was. “Jeez, that is weird thinking of Equestria is a real place.”
“But it’s probably awesome!” Sean yelled.
“Yeah, maybe the food is even better there,” Jane zoned off a little on the idea of even better food.
“Can’t be stranger than what’s going on right now,” Sybil said.
“Yeah, I don’t think I’d have ever thought I’d be sitting and talking to a bunch of ponies,” Dan stroked his beard at the oddity of the situation.
“Heh, Dan,” I chuckled, “there’s a time and a place for everything. It’s called college.” Everypony else laughed.
“Hey John,” Summer was behind me, “speaking of time and place, there’s something I wanted to tell you.”
“Yeah wha-” As I turned around, Summer kissed me right on the muzzle. I stumbled backwards onto a tray of honey melon.
“Hey, I was gonna eat that!” Sean complained. I didn’t notice, my mind had gone on the fritz and my face had turned beet red.
“M-m-mary! I... you... what?!”
Summer blushed a little now too. “Well, it’s just being with you over the past few days... it’s been nice. Plus, you’ve really helped me get through this all.”
“T-that’s my line! But...but what about your boyfriend?”
“He...he never liked ponies and well I don’t think he’d really like me right now.”
“I...”
“I know it was sudden on my part, so you don’t need to say anything right now. Just... just stand by me ok?” She then kissed me again, this time on the cheek.
“I...I... ju-!” That was how I fell asleep that night, passed out on a spread of fruits and sweets. Did I mention that bizarre was the new normal?
View Online
The Conversion Bureau: Reality Break
Saga 1: Part 5: Brought to You by the Letter Q
Jen loved the view she got whenever she explored the outback. Her weekend explorations into Australia's wild lands always gave her a great amount of joy. She never ventured too far her home in the Brisbane suburb, but it was still nice to get out of the city.
Right now, she was exploring a ridge that gave her a perfect view of the city. It was breathtaking to be able to see the vast metropolitan expanse and the sea beyond it.
“Wow,” she breathed in the fall air. Jen thought fall was always the best time to go hiking: it was too hot in the summer and she never liked wearing additional clothes in the winter. Spring was nice, but it was a long ways away. That just left fall to go hiking; plus, seeing nature getting ready for winter was always neat.
She particularly liked the recent hikes she went on, since they were the first times she ever got to go on hikes alone. She liked going on hikes with her parents, but she was a senior now and she wanted some individuality.
Mom and dad worry way too much. What are they gonna do when I go to college? She thought as she climbed up to a higher point along the ridge. She liked how the rough rock felt on her hands. As she climbed she thought about the fuss her parents had made today about climbing.
~~~
“We’re just worried about the weather,” her mother had explained.
“Mom,” Jen retorted, “I’ve climbed that bloody trail with you who knows how many times! I’ll be fine!”
“You’ll be going nowhere if you talk to your mother and me like that,” her father responded.
“Sorry dad, but I’ve had a long week.” Jen had pulled out her trump card: she’d had to take three tests and write two papers in the past week. She’d gotten good grades on all of them. “I deserve a victory hike!”
“We know you do,” her mother was trying to placate her, “but with all those storms from the Pacific lately, we’re just a little concerned.”
“We’ve done hikes in the rain before.”
“We have,” her father said, “you haven’t, not alone at least.”
“Well maybe it’s time I did it alone!” Jen was getting mad now.
“Ok, fine, you’ve earned it, just keep your phone on ya ok?” her mother nervously asked.
“Fine,” Jen had tried to hide her victorious smile as best she could. She always loved it when she outmaneuvered her parents.
~~~
“Darn!” A few raindrops fell on Jen’s face. The sky had been a little overcast when she’d set out in the morning, but now it was quickly getting darker. Please don’t rain ‘till I’m at the top!
She climbed a little faster now, but still kept the same meticulousness. No matter what, rushing was easily the quickest way to get hurt. She wouldn’t let her parents have the victory of seeing her in a hospital.
The rain didn’t lighten up. It had made the rock slick and muddy. By the time Jen made it to the top of the ridge her clothes were completely soaked. “*Huff* Hell *huff* this would happen today, wouldn’t it?” She sprawled herself on top of the ridge and let the rain fall on her.
Then she noticed that the clouds were pink. She sat up immediately and looked at them. “Aw crud!” She reached for her canteen and chugged the water, “musta dehydrated myse-” as she talked a raindrop fell into her mouth. Only it was sweet and chocolaty? She cupped her palms and let rain collect in them. Only the rain was thick and brown, just like...
“Maybe mom and dad were right about me not going out today... I think I’ve been watching too many cartoons.” I’m definitely dehydrated to be seeing this.
Jen watched MLP with a few of her mates. She thought it was kinda ironic that they were watching a show about friendship, yet they were all about to go their separate ways in college. But it was a fun show and a nice balance to all the exploration she normally did. Her friends couldn’t keep up with her hikes, so she’d decided to join them in their activities instead.
At first she thought it was weird that her male mates had been the first to watch the show. But stranger things had happened (like seeing Hugh Jackman as some rough superhero). She quickly found that she enjoyed the show as well, especially the antics of the Cutie Mark Crusaders. She related to how they were trying to find their place in the world. In many respects, Jen was about to embark on a similar adventure: college would be her first true step into the world.
But right now, she wasn’t really that concerned about college. She was more worried about how she needed more water and help. If stuff was acting like Discord was on the loose, then she clearly needed to get some medical attention. “Ok,” she breathed and tried to steady her breathe, “remember the rules.” Rule one: stay calm, rule two: get help.
She pulled out her cellphone and thanked god that it still had a signal, a weak one, but a signal none-the-less. She shakily pounded in the numbers for her home’s phone. For a few seconds there was a ringing and then her mother picked up.
“Hello?” her mother’s voice was nervous.
“Mom, it’s Jen I-”
“Jen, oh my lord! You need to get back right now!”
“Why, what’s wrong?”
“Everything! There’s chocolate milk coming down like rain, the streets have turned to rubber, the bloody dog is walking on the ceiling! Honey please get back home, you’re not safe outsi-” Jen’s phone had turned into a pot of petunias.
“Jesus Christ!” The pot fell to the ground and turned into water as it crashed. “Oh god, I need to get home!” She rushed over and was just about to climb down the rock when the ground below her bent beneath her weight. What had once been solid rock was now jello. “Jesus! God! Someone!” Jen yelled out as she tried to keep her balance “Help!”
Now she was falling. She looked up and the pink clouds and wondered just what had gone wrong. Then she hit the rocks below, unfortunately, they were still solid. It wasn’t even the impact that hurt, it was all the broken bones it caused. She could feel her ribs puncturing her left lung. It was getting harder to breath. “Mom, Dad,” Jen cried, “I’m sorry...I’m so...” the chocolate rain around her stopped. Her canteen righted itself and flashed white. A piece of parchment appeared by it as well. It unfolded itself and zoomed in front of Jen:
Young One, Find it in your heart to forgive us. This was an unfortunate step towards saving both our worlds. If we had realized it would cost you so much, we would have tried to be more careful. But time is running out on us. Therefore, we offer you a chance to have your way with us later. The contents in front of you should save you. If you choose to drink, it’s your choice whether to convert others or not. We won’t take that choice away from you. We are sorry. By Royal Decree of Princess Celestia, Monarch of Equestria
“I’ve lost it,” Jen sobbed. “Oh mom, why didn’t I listen to you and dad?” She brought the canteen closer, her breathing was getting more labored. “If I see you again, please forgive me.” She swallowed whatever was now in her canteen and then fell into the realm of sleep.
~~~
The pain was gone. Jen’s body didn’t hurt anymore. She looked around and wasn’t even sure if she had a body. “Damn, I’m dead. ”
“No child, ” came a voice from the sky, “not yet. ” It’s source was a multi-hued sphere.
“Celestia?” Must have cracked my skull too.
“Yes child, I am here and I am sorry. ” The voice was filled with sorrow.
“Sister, ” Luna’s voice emanated from a moon-like sphere, “we knew this would happen, we had to do it. ”
“I know but, ” Jen felt a gaze upon her, “to convert a seed this way, how are we any better than the force we wish to stop? ”
“It’ll be fine sister, this is just an initial step, it was the same last time I came here. ”
“It was not this bad. ” Celestia’s sphere darkened.
“It is not your fault, it is the lack of magic. It makes their world and our’s opposites. It will get better.” “I hope, ” Celestia turned her gaze back to Jen now, “Child, can you forgive us? ”Did you cause all that stuff?” We did not mean to, but we caused it none-the-less.” “Why?” “To save both our worlds,” Luna replied.“Save?! I fell from a mound a jello!” “We know child, we know all too well,” Luna’s voice was heavy and somber, “it will hopefully stabilize... but we will require your assistance.” “Why me?” “Because,” Celestia responded this time, “the more magic there is, the easier it’ll be for Equestria to enter your realm.” “This is too much... I thought this was all just a show!” “I’m afraid it is not child. Now both Earth and Equestria stand on the brink of collapse, will you aid us?” I’m dead, I’m definitely dead... eighteen and I didn’t even know what I was doing with my li- “Will I get a cutie mark?” What an odd after-life this’ll be. “An odd question to ask child, but if your heart desires to find its talent. You will find it.” “I...I’ll do it.” “Good, now what you must remember when you awaken is to only give others three ounces of the potion, any more is a waste and any less is dangerous. We’re working to send assistance, but please try and find the ot- ”
~~~
The sun’s light was bothering Jen. It’d been overcast all day, so the sudden burst of sunlight stung her eyes. “Ugh, what happened?” She was on the ground where she had fallen. “That’s right!” She looked around and saw that the sky was normal now. “Phew, must have just gotten dehydrated and fallen, probably hit my he- HOLY CRAP!” Next to her was a puddle of chocolate milk. The puddle reflected back a tan unicorn with orange hair. “What..but I...” Jen’s brain went on the fritz looking at the reflection. She felt a jolt in her head and then saw that the loose rocks around her were floating. They were covered in an aura the same color as her coat.
“Oh Lord, that wasn’t a dream, I’m a pony... oh god, what’ll mom and dad think. They’ll never let me leave the house aga-” She remembered her mother’s hectic phone call. “Oh no! I...I need to get home!” She looked at the ridge she could have easily climbed down as a human. It was now an impossible feat for a unicorn. “Damn it!” She yelled as the feeling in her horn grew. “Why couldn’t I have wings or something!? I just want to go home!!”
She crashed back onto her kitchen’s table.
“What the hell?!” her dad jumped up in surprise. He’d been on the phone with someone.
“Dad!” Jen cried out, “Oh thank god you’re ok, where’s mom?”
“Je-Jenifer?! Is that you?”
“Of course it-” I she tried to walk over and calm her father, but she fell down. She wasn’t used to hooves yet. “Oh right, um, yeah I know this is strange, but it’s still me.” Fear was etched over her father’s face. “I...I’ll prove it! You took me to see The Boy from Oz with Hugh Jackman in ‘06 remember? For my birthday?”
“I...” her father’s face softened, then he dropped to the floor and hugged her, “oh Jenifer, what happened?”
“I don’t know!” She cried, “It started raining, I tried calling you, and then I got scared and tried to get back home. But I fell and there was this dri-” Jen stopped and looked over at the table she had fallen on. Her canteen was there.
“Jenifer, what is that?” Her father had noticed her look.
“I think it’s what did this to me,” She looked at her hooves again.
“Well let’s get rid of it, I’m not letting anyone else turn into this!” He stormed over and picked up the canteen. He was about to chuck it when Jen cried out.
“Wait!”
“What?!”
“Dad, I...I think there’s more to it than just that... you might want to sit down.” Jen’s dad sat down in one of the kitchen’s chairs. He still kept a firm grasp on the canteen though. “Ok,” she tried walking while she explained, but she kept stumbling, “ugh, this might take some getting used to.” She decided to sit instead, but that proved to be its own challenge as her body was used to siting like a human not a pony. She eventually just laid on her stomach. “Guh, this is so hard to get comfortable! Ok! Anyway, you remember that show me and my mates would watch, the one with the colorful ponies?”
“Yeah but...” it took a second for her father to make the connection, “good lord! Is that what you are now?”
“I...I think...” Why did it hurt so much for dad to say that? “See when I fell, after I drank that stuff, I met the monarchs from the show. Something is happening, something that forced them to cause that storm earlier.”
“They caused it?! They did this to you?!” There was anger in her dad’s voice now.
“I don’t think they meant to, they sounded really sorry and... I think it’s much bigger than just that storm.”
“So let me get this straight, these monarchs,”
“Celestia and Luna.”
“Ok, Celestia and Luna, caused whatever the hell that was a bit ago, then they saved you but had to turn you into this,” he gestured at her, “but you got to talk to them when you drank it?” He twirled the canteen around.
“Yeah but...” she noticed her father twirling the canteen “Dad! I know what you’re thinking, but I...I don’t know.” They said get others to drink, but dad... oh he’s always been head strong about me. “Only drink three ounces.”
“Fine,” he went over the cupboard and pulled out a three ounce shot glass. “You stay here sweetie. Your mom was actually driving out to get you, so it’ll be a bit before she’s back. I’m gonna give my mind to these monarchs!” He poured himself a shot of the potion and downed it instantly. “Can’t even give you a good flavored dr...” Jen stopped him from falling mid-air. She had somehow encased him in a tan aura. She set him down just as he turned pure white.
“Oh dad, why’d you have to be so protective,” Jen cried, she didn’t know what else to do. In just two hours her entire world had been flipped on its head. She looked away as her dad’s form began to writhe and squirm. “Oh Jesus, that’s what I must have looked like.” Jen walked into the living room and tried to make sense of everything.
“I have to be dead, maybe god just wants to test me... yeah, I couldn’t figure out what I was good in at life, so now I gotta get a cutie mark. Hmm,” She moved her left forehoof up and looked at it. “Heh, bet the mates would get a laugh out of this.” She trotted around a little and tried to get used to her new legs. “Ok, so just four legs instead of two, that’s not too bad. Now what about...” she looked up at her horn, with her eyes she could just see the tip of it. “I got here, just like Twilight did in the show and I was even able to set dad down... but what now?”
She looked around the living room and spotted a cup, probably her mother’s on the coffee table. “Maybe if I...” she focused on the cup and just wanted it to go up. It zoomed upwards and smashed into the ceiling and showered her and the room with tea. “Ok, um, maybe dad’ll be a unicorn too, maybe he’ll know how to do stuff better... oh, who am I kidding nopony kno- eep!” What am I saying? I’m a human girl, not a unicorn... I think. Just as she was thinking this she heard a mumbling from back in the kitchen. She slowly trotted back in. “Dad?”
“Oh Jenifer, good you’re still here. Woah nelly, I think we may have one the lottery for weirdest apocalypse yet.” His coat was about the same color as hers, but his hair was black. He didn’t have a horn or wings. He still had his stubble though, as a child Jen had thought it felt funny.
“Dad, you’re an Earth Pony.” It was incredibly surreal for Jen. The pony had her dad’s voice and mannerisms but he... he was a pony. Was that what dad thought when he saw me?
“Earth Pony, huh? Well from the sound of it, that makes sense. Princesses said pegasi get wings and unicorns like you get horns, this-oof!” he stumbled, “is weird enough as it is.”
“You... you’re ok with this?”
“Sweety, you’re me daughter, I couldn’t let you go through this alone... your mother’s probably gonna beat me worse than when Broncos lost the Eagles last year.” Jen’s dad was originally from Brookvale so he was a Sea Eagles rugby fan, while Jen’s mother was a originally from Brisbane so she was a true Broncos fan.
Jen laughed a little, “Yeah, mom wasn’t happy.”
“There, I got ya to smile a little,” her father smiled back, “everything’ll be fine. But...” his tone grew more serious, “Jenifer, you have been given a really big responsibility. You and the others have got to get together ok?”
“Others?”
“The princesses said there should be six of ya, she’s gonna try and send some help and get ya organized.”
“But why?”
“Well,” her father took in a deep breath, “apparently some bad stuff’s been stirring up in the universe, you ‘seed’ have got to stop it.”
“But...but dad, we’re just people.”
“Wrong we’re ponies... Christ, that is weird to say.” He brought a hoof to his muzzle and rubbed his stubble. “Huh, still got my beard.”
“What about mom?”
“Hmm, we should probably call her and get her to stop worrying.” he trotted and with a few stumbles made it over to the desk. He looked over at his legs, “These are gonna be a pain, aren’t they?”
“It doesn’t take too long to get use to them.” Jen trotted over to her father.
“Show-off,” he teased. Then he reached for the phone with his hoof, only to stop at the dial pad, “oh bloody hell, I don’t have hands anymore.” He looked over at Jen, “Wait I got it, Jenifer, bend your head down.”
“Why?” she said as she complied.
“Cause you at least have something pointy on your head now. So just follow my instructions.” Jen realized her horn had now become a faux finger, but she still listened. “Thank god, I put your mom’s phone on speed dial.” By now the phone was ringing.
“Glenn? Is that you? Did you get a hold of the emergency people?”
“Linda, it’s ok, Jenifer is back at the house now.”
“She is? Oh thank heavens, I was so-”
“But she’s a unicorn now.”
“Dad,” Jen interrupted, “isn’t that a bit, um, blunt?”
Her mother’s response seemed apropriate, “What-what-what?! Glenn now is not the time to be drinking. Jen, tell your father to get off the line.”
“Mom, it...it’s true, oh and dad’s also a pony now...” I really need to make a list of things I never thought I’d say.
“He slipped you some stuff too, didn’t he? Glenn, you better be prepared to deal with the consequences of this!”
“Honey I...” The line cut off. “Oh bugger,” he turned over to Jen, “is it odd that your mother terrifies me more than the end of the world?”
Jen thought back to the time she got her ears pierced without her mother’s permission, “Not at all.”
“Well, come on, we’ve got some work to do.”
“Aren’t we going to wait for mom?”
“Oh, it’s here at the house,” he trotted over to his study room. The door was closed and there was a loud barking in the room.
“The dog?”
“Yeah, the princesses said us just being around stuff helps make the process easier and well...” He lightly pushed the door open. As soon as they entered the room the dog fell from the ceiling. He quickly got up and licked Jen right on the face.
“Ugh, jeez Zeus, guess you still recognize me.”
A dog, a unicorn, and and Earth Pony... yep it was a chaotic day in Australia.
The Conversion Bureau: Reality Break
End Saga One: The Wall has Fallen
This is bad, really really bad. It was Wednesday now and the world was coming apart on on me. Kenya had turned into a bog, Bolivia had been quarantined (I guessed the real reason was far worse than any virus), and then there was Australia.
If anything ever expressed how deep my fears about the apocalypse were, it was Australia. The events there had actually overshadowed my post on Equestria Daily, “Discord at Large” the title had read. Someone had captured the entirety of the madness: streets driving cars, chocolate milk coming down like sleet, sidewalks becoming liquid while puddles of the chocolate rain became solid; then just as suddenly as it started, it was gone. It was pandemonium, if the doomsday clock had reached its final minute with people turning into ponies then Australia’s events had pushed it to the last second.
But that wasn’t what currently had me concerned. No, I was freaking out about Jane. Magic was even more uncontrollable than wings. After we left on Sunday night, things had seemed fine, but then Jane went to sleep. By the morning, all of Sybil’s electronics were fried. We had driven out to the rest stop immediately. Jane managed to lift some rocks and even teleported a few feet. We thought that even with a little better control, we could rest easy.
It was even worse Monday night, my entire hall was flickering, I could see it from Nate’s room. I thanked everything holy that I didn’t have a horn, yet I knew Jane’s would doom us unless we could reign it in fast. We spent all of Monday at the rest stop. We didn’t bother going back to campus, I was too scared and Jane was getting worried as well. She was afraid she might hurt someone, I lied and told her that ponies couldn’t hurt anyone. Tuesday had only made the situation worse, I was getting paranoid and Jane was getting hysteric.
That was when it really got out of hand. Aside from its pull the electricity, magic appears to be very dependant on emotional levels. When focused properly it could probably be more delicate than the finest medical tools in science, but when when fear is pulsating through your veins, it has the efficiency of a sledgehammer. We got Jane to calm down by Tuesday night and we thought we’d expended all her energy. Energy still has to be energy, Jane couldn't have had an unlimited supply of it. I prayed that I was right.
Now I was wrong, horribly, horribly wrong. Everything that wasn’t either living or bolted to the ground had been floating in my hall since the middle of the night, only to come crashing down when Jane woke up. Sybil had sent Dan to get us while she tried to help Jane. There was only one way I saw of doing helping Jane though: magic might cancel magic. Sybil was probably drinking the potion as Nate and Dan carried me over to my hall. Sean was in for another bucking if he didn’t stay in the room.
“Can you believe she did this?” Nate whispered to both me and Dan. I had to remain silent though, hidden in my old bed covers and cloths.
“I don’t know what to think anymore, between this and Australia, I’m really wishing we had more of the potion.”
Damn it! Celestia said she’d send help where the hell i- My thoughts were cut off by a voice.
“Nate? Dan?” Oh F&^K me! Mom?! I could tell it was my mom’s voice even under my disguise.
“Oh, um, hello Mrs. Bacanti, John didn’t tell us you were coming to visit.” Judging by Nate’s voice, he probably had a terrible poker face.
“It...it’s actually about John,” Mom’s voice was nervous, I knew something was wrong whenever she used that tone, like when my sister broke her arm or when one of my dogs died, “is he ok?”
“Um, yeah,” David nervously replied, “why did something come up?”
“Last time we skyped with him something sounded wrong,” Dad?! He’s here too?! Oh crap! OH CRAP! “He sounded better, but he was talking about an end of the world project for his religion class. But he took that last semester.” Oh shit! I screwed up, I screwed up big!
“He was probably hungover or something when he called you, not that’d he’d ever be cool enough to actually go to a party.” Thank you Rachel, end of the world and you still know how to be snide. I loved my sister from the bottom of my heart, but that made it so much easier for her to get under my skin and tick me the hell off.
“Shut up Rachel!” My dad snapped at her. Oh crap, dad’s serious. Whenever I heard my father use that sort of tone, I knew the situation had really gone south. My mom could be emotional at times, so her worried tone was a bit more common. My dad’s tone on the other hand? That was reserved for when either someone had royally screwed up or someone had gotten royally hurt. I always tensed up whenever he used that tone. I couldn’t resist tensing up even now.
“Nate, Dan, what are you carrying?” Mom’s voice was now filled with suspicion.
“Just some clothes,” Dan replied quickly.
“Hey isn’t that John’s Journey shirt?” Rachel’s voice seemed closer now.
"Boys,” I could feel my dad’s aura even under the sheets, I shivered again, “where is my son?”
“He...he’s sick,” Nate sounded like he was about to breakdown. My dad could do that to people when he was worried.
“Tell me the truth!” he yelled. Nate trembled and let go of me and my disguise. I stood up on instincts.
“Why were you hiding a dog?” Rachel asked. “Big dog too.” I was frozen. My blanket was my only protection from my own family.”
“M-mr. Bacanti, we can explain!” Dan stuttered.
“I don’t care about your stupid dog! I just want to see my son!”
“Please,” mom was definitely crying, “he didn’t do something reckless did he? We know you do some dumb things in college you don’t tell your parents but...but we’re worried about him!” She broke down into sobs.
“Mrs. Bacanti, it... it’s nothing like that, John is fine it’s just...” Dan couldn’t find the right words.
“Just what?” Dad was probably breathing down Nate and Dan’s necks.
“Just that I can’t let you see me right now,” I said from under the covers.
“J-john?” Mom stopped crying.
“Nice going bro, you caused mom and dad to flip out.”
“Shut up Rachel, or do I need to bring up a certain totalled car?” That shut my sister up, I’d never let her live down the night she killed my car.
“John, what’s going on, why did you lie to us?” Dad’s voice was softer now, but still strict.
“Dad... remember what I asked you on Sunday?”
“Yes, it’s why we’re here, you weren’t planing on doing something stupid were you?”
“Stupid? What do you-” Oh god, they thought I was gonna off myself! Christ, I should’ve been more careful! “No! Never dad, never!”
“Then why even ask us that? And why are you hiding under there?”
“Well... you see... the answer for both is the same.”
“What...” mom was still crying a little, “what do you mean?”
I... I can’t hide any longer. “Please mom, don’t cry, I’m fine... it’s just... you know that pony show I watched?”
“Yes, but what does that have to do with this?”
“Everything,” I began to slide the covers back, “it’s like reality is bre-”
“EVERYONE ON THE GROUND!” came a gruff military voice. OH SHIT! I threw off the covers and nearly puked up my heart. We were surrounded by black-ops solders and they all had their sights on us. Yet, I think my parents were more shocked at seeing me not as a human, but as a brown winged horse.
“John is tha-” A tranquilizer hit mom and she was down.
“Mom!” I yelled and then zoomed straight over to the black-op that had shot her. This time my buck wasn’t playful. Even with his body armor on, I could still feel the soldier's ribs crack from the force of the buck. Unfortunately, I also felt the tranquilizer hit me in the neck. The last thing I saw were the black-ops swarming my hall. I reached out a hoof, “Everypony, ru-” I was out.
~~~
Luna nervously trotted back and forth down the Royal Hall of Canterlot Castle.
“Sister? Is something wrong?” Celestia walked over to Luna.
“I’m worried about the seeds, will they be able to help us?”
“Sister, you have already seen that they are working hard. Magic has already begun to permeate their world.”
“So has entropy. Their time is running out and they are scattered.”
“Sister, you must believe in their power to unite. As I recall, there were others who, even in dire situations, came together and stood strong.”
“They were not human, they knew their skills.”
Celestia trotted over to the castle’s balcony. “That is why they will assist the seeds, the Elements must blaze on both Earth and Equestria.” Celestia looked down toward the royal courtyard. It was filled with hundreds of boxes of potion. It was about time for the day to arrive. “Sister, rest now, the dawn will be coming soon.”
“I hope it does.” Luna teleported away to her room. Celestia was alone now.
“As do I sister, as do I.”
End Saga One
The Conversion Bureau: Reality Break
I hate being sick. On the offset of a cold I always tell myself, “Whatever, I can handle this, it’s not that bad.” Then my cold gets worse and I just want to crawl into my bed and sleep until the end of time. But I can’t sleep because I’m sick. So I just have to deal with it, I’m too sick to go to class and I’m too sick to sleep. Maybe I take some meds to knock myself out.
That’s the state I found myself in currently. My trashcan was filled with a mountain of tissues and I’d imposed a self-quarantine on myself for the past few days. I’d go out and chat with my friends at dinner, but that was about it as far as social interaction went. Other than that, when I couldn’t sleep, I’d just surf the internet, watching funny videos and frequenting Equestria Daily to see if there was a good fanfic to read.
Yeah, I watched Friendship is Magic, but then again so did all my friends. In fact, they’d been the ones to get me into it. Plus, it was a good way to kill time and let my brain shift to auto-pilot while I read whatever tale someone had put up about Twilight Sparkle and her friends.
A few days into my cold and I got a fever. I wasn’t too concerned though, either because I thought I could take care of myself or my mind was too addled to make proper decisions. After hours of tossing and turning one night, I finally managed to fall asleep.
I really shouldn’t have fallen asleep. I always feel worse when I fall asleep sick. So when I woke up, I knew I was in trouble. I felt hot, way too hot and my stomach seemed to agree with me as its contents wanted out. I rushed to my bathroom and barely made it to the toilet. My only solace in this was that hopefully throwing up would help me feel better.
After my visit to the toilet I decided it was time to get some medicated sleep. I stumbled over to where I kept my medical supplies, groped my hand around for what I assumed was the cold medicine bottle and measured out what I thought was the right amount. I downed the cup and didn’t even bother putting the lid back on. “Ugh, I hate that stupid fake cherry taste,” I complained before I sprawled myself on my bed. I was out instantly.
~~~
Be-be-beep! Be-be-beep! Be-be-be- I slammed on the alarm clock. I swear one of these days I’m just gonna chuck that thing out the window. I was by definitely not a morning person. Ugh, what a weird dream, two brothers talking about something, very strange.
I sank out of my bed. My whole body felt sore. I had only one goal in mind. Shower, showers make everything better. Forget about caffeine or energy drinks, hot water was where the real wake up call was. I slumped a hand against the bathroom door and pulled it open. My hand felt weird too, but I just thought it was the cold making me feel weird.
I got into the shower stall and let the hot water flow. Can I just stay here for the rest of the day? It’d make life so much easier. I reached for the soap, but it fell out of my hand. “Damn it,” I stopped reaching for the soap. My voice sounded off, but my throat didn’t feel sore. In fact, it felt better than it had for the past few days. “What the he-” I brought a hoof up to my face in shock, only to be more shocked that I had a hoof.
“AHH!” I screamed as I tripped out of the shower. “What the hell is going on?! Why do I have hooves and why do I sound like a gi-” My heart missed a beat as I looked into the mirror.
There was a pegasus in the mirror, a pegasus with long brown hair, a brown coat, and green eyes. “W-what?” the pony’s muzzle moved when I spoke. “Oh...oh god, I’m having a nightmare, this has got to be some horrible nightmare!”
“It is no nightmare child, trust me, I know them well.” I turned around to see my bathroom evaporate into a large green field. Standing behind me was a large stallion with a dark blue coat and hair that seemed to have a mind of its own.
“W-who are you?” I nervously asked.
“Artemis, co-ruler of Equestria, why you humans portrayed us as female is beyond me. We have summoned you for we are in dire need of your assistance.”
“‘We?’” But who else i-
“My brother and I,” came a deep booming voice, a pure white stallion appeared behind me, his mane was deep red and, oddly enough, he had quite the beard, “greetings, I am Solaris, prince of Equestria, you know me as Celestia.”
“What?!” I was completely overloaded now, “But I...I...”
“It is ok child, I know we have put you through a lot, but we are willing to compensate you. You will live like royalty with us, dine on the finest food, and be hailed as a heroine throughout all the land.”
“But I’m not a heroine, I’m a guy!”
“No, you are a mare. Do not worry, we will accommodate you as best as possible, there is but one catch.”
“Catch?” There was something ominous in that word.
“You see, our world lacks a high number of females, especially those with high morals. Thus, we have summoned you here to bear the foals of the Elements.”
“WHAT!?! But...but I...I... I’m a GUY !!”
“Oh, um, sorry miss,” came a small voice. Its source was a yellow pegasus in the sky. He had a short pink mane and three small butterflies on his flank, “Oh, I’m, uh, Butterscotch by they way... I promise we’ll be good parents.”
“But...but...” my head was spinning.
“Don’t worry mademoiselle,” came a voice that dripped with extravagance. A white unicorn trotted over and gave me a courteous bow, “Elusive, the pleasure is all mine.”
“I, uh...”
“Hey, quit stalling around!” A boisterous voice yelled out. Suddenly, a blue stallion crashed down in front of us. He got right into my face, “Name’s Blitz, Rainbow Blitz! The Prince said we had to work fast, so I’m the stallion for the job!”
“Cool yer jets there Blitz,” came a southern drawl. An orange Earth Pony trotted over and pulled Blitz away from me. “Ah apologize, ain’t proper manners to get in a mare’s face on the first date. Don’t worry, Ah promise we’ll go at whatever pace ya want.”
“But I...”
A pink pony popped out of nowhere and interrupted me. “Can’t we just have one big party and get it over with? We could have food and drinks, lots of drinks, and have a bunch of fun!” The pink stallion now looked at me, “Oh yeah!” He grabbed and vigorously shook my hoof, “I’m Berry Bubble, oh this is gonna be so much fun!”
“Berry!” came a scholarly voice. “There is a proper way to handle all of this.” A purple unicorn trotted up and stood in front of me. “Hello,” he held out a hoof, “I am Dusk Shine, student of Prince Solaris and your personal guide.”
“Please!” I begged, “Can’t there be some other way to do this?!”
“Don’t worry, I’ve done my research, if we take turns at thirty minute intervals, you should be fine. All right guys, let’s get started!” The stallions slowly advanced on me.
“No! Nooo! NOOOO!!!!!!! ”
~~~
I woke up in a cold sweat. I ran my hands through my hair and thanked god it had just been a horrible dream. “I need to stop reading so much fan fiction.”
“I’ll say.” Celestia was lying in my bed next to me.
“AHHHHHH!!!!!!!”
~~~
I woke up and hit Summer right in the head. “Oww! John, are you ok?”
“Yeah,” I brought a hoof to my head as I tried to steady my breathing, “I think.”
“Another nightmare about being human again?”
“I wish, I swear I’m never touching anything cherry flavored ever again!”
“Why?”
“Trust me, you don’t want to know.”
*Took place on Wednesday night in-story*
Moral of the story: Make sure you get get enough sleep every night and cherry medicine was designed by the devil.
The Conversion Bureau: Reality Break
Saga 2: The Rainbow Connection
I felt something metallic. I opened my eyes; I was in a small grey room. It was definitely somewhere completely enclosed from the outside world: the entire environment was artificial. I couldn’t tell the temperature, the humidity, or whether it was day or night.
Then I remembered the feeling of cold metal under me. I looked down and saw I was on a cold metal slab like an operera- “Ah!” I flew up, but smacked my head on the ceiling, wherever I was, it was small. Then I remembered everything: my parents, the black-ops, and the tranquilizer. “Please!” I cried out, “I’ll tell you whatever I want, just don’t hurt my parents!” Oh god, what if they got the others too? Please let them be safe, please! “I…I’m the one who started all this! If you want to dissect someone then dissect me, just let the others go!”
A long silence greeted me, but then a voice came from the ceiling. I looked up and saw an intercom. “We apologize for the rough treatment, we assure you that the others of your kind have not been harmed. We do not know where your parents are, were they with you upon your arrival here?” Oh thank god, everypony is fine… what about mom and dad though?
“You took me and my parents at the same time.”
“How does your species age? All your kind appear to be around the same age, so we could not determine which ones were your parents.”
Oh my god, they think I’m an alien… hmm, technically I am now. “Um, my parents were the middle aged humans with me when you took me.”
There was another long silence. “How long have your ‘parents’ been taking care of you?”
“Since I was born.” Now I felt like I was in the most bizarre trial ever.
“When were you born?”
“Eighteen years ago, nineteen in three months.”
“What is your name?”
“John Bacanti, do you need my address as well? Anything to just get everypony out of here.”
“Do not be concerned, ‘everypony’ will be released shortly. We just have a few more questions. Are you aware that a Mrs. and Mr. Bacanti, have a human son with the same exact name as you?”
“Yes, that’s me.”
“Are you a human?”
The question hurt to hear, I flapped my wings as I looked up at the intercom, “I want to believe that I still am, but my heart…” I choked on the words, “even it isn’t fully human anymore.” Even as I said the words, my wings twitched, they wanted the air again.
“Can you elaborate for us?”
“Until last Monday, I was a human, I walked on two legs, used two hands, ate meat…”
“You cannot eat meat?”
“Not without a severe reaction, produce is fine though,” my stomach grumbled as I spoke. It must have been a while since I’d been knocked out.
“Can you continue?”
“Yes, on Sunday night I was very sick, possibly with meningitis. After a trip to the restroom, I drank what I thought was cold medicine. I awoke like this.” It still felt surreal to say I’d gone to bed a human and woken up a pony.
“In our operation to bring you here, we found an empty bottle with trace amounts of a unknown substance in it, was this the serum you are referring to?”
So Sybil did drink, darn, Dan’ll be ticked. “Yes.”
“Were all of your species originally human then?”
“Yes.”
“What compelled you to change humans into such a form?”
“I…at first I didn’t want to, I never wanted to force this upon them. But… despite how I looked, they still wanted to stand with me, whether I was human on not. The choice was theirs.”
“I see.” The door in the room opened to reveal a man in a black suit with sunglasses. Despite the circumstances, I still couldn’t help but chuckle a little at how cliché the man’s portrayal was.
“Come with me sir,” his voice wasn’t the same as the one on the intercom.
“Where are we going?”
In response, the man pulled out a blindfold. “I’m sorry sir, but that is confidential.
“Is everypony else ok?”
“They are already at our destination,” the man said as he tied the blindfold over my eyes. He then grabbed the side of my neck and led me out of the room.
As we walked through more of what I assumed was a building, I was still concerned about my friends and my family. “Are…are you going to study us?”
“I am not at the liability to say sir, our orders were merely to confirm origin and chance of hostility.”
I heard another door open and the world around me changed from darkness to grey. Wherever I was, it was colder than where school had been, much colder. My senses were still dulled though, I was still in a partially artificial environment; I suspected it might be an underground garage.
There was the sound of a car door opening and then somepony helped get me into the car. Now the world went black on me again: the car had it’s own environment. The drive to wherever we were going was pretty short. Then we got out into another garage area, where I was led into another building.
Suddenly, we stopped. I heard a knocking on a door and then the man spoke, “Agent Vincent; Code: Pi Omega Nu.”
“Thank you agent Vincent, delivery acknowledged,” came a female voice. I heard a door open and “Agent Vincent” led me inside.
“Good luck,” he whispered to me as he removed the blindfold and left the room.
“Good luck? Why do I need go-” I then saw where I was. I’d seen it hundreds of times on TV. Given that I was pretty much a cartoon now, I was amazed my mouth didn’t drop to the floor. I was in the Oval Office. Screw Australia, it has nothing on this.
Then I saw the man standing by the window, he was looking out onto the White House lawn. “I never thought that in my career, I’d be turning to my daughters for help.”
“Um…” I had no idea what to say. The president, i.e. the guy who runs the entire damn country, was talking about My Little Pony to me, an actual pony. Surreal didn’t even begin to describe the situation.
“I suppose I should start with an apology,” he turned to face me as he talked, “please understand, we are in very strange waters here. Over the past few days, occurrences around the world have been straining us. We’ve barely been able to stymie the tide of panic. When we first received news of a transfigured human, we chalked it up to the average fear-mongering, we’d gotten quite used to it with all the 2012 preachers out there. But events on Monday pushed us to reanalyze those initial reports.”
“Equestria Daily and Australia?” I asked.
“Yes, when my daughters saw the news footage, they kept screaming that ‘Discord’ was real. At that point, I realized there might be grounding behind what some of the, um, what is the term you fans use?”
“Bronies.” I was a pony now and I still thought that term was a silly.
“Yes, ‘bronies.” We looked into their sayings and traced an ip address to your location.
I sighed, “I knew that computer would be the death of me.”
“Death? No, no, no. I don’t know what fears you’ve had, but I assure you the United States is open to all.”
“Well, technically, I already am a citizen.”
“Yes, about that, could you elaborate more on how things came to be?”
I got the feeling I’d be telling this story a lot more now.
~~~
Obama was sitting down now, “I see, so you are aware of the situation in Nevada then?”
“I…I had my fears, but you and Celestia appear to have confirmed them.”
“I’ll be frank, we’ve thrown everything at this ‘entropy’: conventional arms, ballistic missiles, even smaller nuclear arms. The only result was seeing the weapons enter the ‘entropy’s’ zone and stop mid-air, even remote detonation didn’t work.” Obama had his hands clasped as he spoke. “Then the reports came in from Bolivia and Australia, our worst fears were confirmed then. This was a global event, not just a problem of the United States. We knew we had to act fast to find someone who knew about this.”
“Me?”
“Not quite,” Obama walked over to his desk and pressed an intercom button. “Send them in.” A door opened and, much to my shock, four other ponies came in, followed by a very flustered looking Japanese man. “After Monday’s Australia event, we sent out a plea to all the other countries to assist us in any way possible. Japan was the first to respond.”
“I…” I looked at the four other ponies, they looked back at me nervously, and I noted that a blue Earth pony with white hair seemed a little older than the other three mares. “I had my suspicions after the power outage, but I never expected this.”
“Like you, all four of them were picked up by the government and questioned. I wish communication between our two nations had been better though. We might have been able to mobilize faster or prepare more.” He glared at the Japanese man. “But that is in the past, right now, our current concern is what will happen to our planet. Tell me, do you know any of these ponies?”
I looked at the blue pony and recalled how the news had talked about a blue blur running through Tokyo’s streets. I pointed a hoof at her, “Are you a seed as well?” The Japanese man bent down and whispered to her. Her response was in Japanese, so I couldn’t pick it up, she did mention a “monster” though (thank you anime for impromptu Japanese).
“She says,” the Japanese man translated, “that she doesn’t know what a seed is, but it might have been the, um, creature that took her daughter and turned into this form.” As he spoke, I noticed the other ponies talking amongst each other and then to the older mare. They seemed to be arguing a little.
“Then, none of them are the seed?”
The man turned around again. When he spoke to the ponies this time, he had to get them to settle down a little first. After some more talking, he turned back to me. “They say it was a blue unicorn that gave them the stuff that turned them into ponies, but they don’t know where she is.”
One of the ponies, a white unicorn with green and silver hair trotted forward and slowly spoke in English, “But I like being a pony, it is fun… hello too, nice to meet an American pony.” She seemed very happy as she looked at me. I just felt even more bizarre.
“Oh um,” Darn it why couldn’t college have Japanese classes? “Hello, nice to meet you,” I replied in Japanese. Thank god for that tutor in high school.
All three of the young ponies broke away from the man and galloped over to me. “You know Japanese?”
“Can you practice English with us?”
“Can we go to Equestria now?”
Then the questions became more specific and I couldn’t understand them anymore.
“Um, sorry I only know basic Japanese.” The mares’ faces were still happy though. I turned over to the man, “Sorry, but could you act as translator again? I only know the really basic stuff.”
“Er, um,” the man had very quizzical look on his face, I couldn’t really blame him though, I don’t think any political career could prepare you for this sort of situation, “They are saying they are so happy to meet another, er, pony like them. They were very scared when we took them in, that they were alone, or that they’d be experimented on.”
“Heh, tell them I had the same fears, but…but it’ll be ok.”
The man relayed my message to them, then they somehow managed to hug me; we all fell to the ground. The older mare still stood in the background.
“Um, Mr. Bacanti,” Obama interrupted, “we still have other issues at hand. All of them were told by Celestia, that’s her name right?”
“Yes.”
“Well, they were told by her that they were part of the initial step in saving the planet. But the true key to salvation lied with the ‘seeds’, what can you tell us about them?”
“All I really know is that I’m apparently one of them.”
“Do you have any way of contacting them?”
“Well there was Celestia, but she only appeared when Summer got a cutie mark.”
“Cutie mark?”
“It’s, uh, this mark on your flank that shows what your special talent is.” I looked back on my blank flank.
“Do you know how to obtain one?”
“No, I really have no idea how this works.” Great, now I feel like a cutie mark crusader.
“I see,” Obama brought a hand to his chin as a pensive look grew across his face. “Regardless, we need to prepare the nation… no, the world as soon as possible. Can I ask for your assistance?”
“You’re actually the second world leader to ask me. But, can I at least see everypony else first?”
“Certainly, it’s the least we can do for you after what we’ve put you through.” Obama pressed the intercom again, “You can send the rest in now as well.”
The door opened again and out trotted four ponies and five humans. I galloped past everypony else and hugged my family. “Mom! Dad! Oh god, I was scared!”
“We know John,” my mom was crying as she petted my mane, “your friends explained everything to us. We…we’re just glad you’re ok.”
“Well,” I awkwardly flapped my wings, “I’m not sure if ‘ok’ would exactly define my situation.”
“Oh man bro,” my sister looked over me, “you so can’t complain about how I look anymore.” My sister was in middle of that “I’m rebellious and unique, so I’m gonna get a ton of piercings like all my other friends” phase.
I slightly face-hoofed, “Rachel, I swear, you have got to be the biggest idiot I know. I turn into a pony and that’s what you say to me?”
“Well what am I supposed to say? Besides, mom and dad are probably gonna ground you for life because of this.”
“Rachel,” my dad turned to her, “try and be a little mature.” He now turned back to me, “John, is it really the end of the world?”
“I think, unless we can stop it.”
“How do you do that?”
“Make more ponies”
“Oh John,” mom hugged me tighter, “is it permanent? Can’t we all just become ponies and then turn back once whatever this is disappears?”
“I…I don’t know,” I sighed, “I just wish somepony were here to explain things more.”
“Um,” mom looked on me oddly now, “don’t you mean ‘somebody?’”
I realized I’d been using ponyisms since I’d woken up, “Oh,” my ears drooped, “that… that’s something that happens when you take the stuff… it…it changes a lot more than just how you look.”
“Like what?” Dad asked.
“Depends on what you are.” I looked over at my friends. Dan and Nate were still human, but I counted one Earth Pony, one pegasus, and two unicorns: Dawn and a unicorn with a pink coat and a purple mane with green highlights. “How’s the horn treating ya Sybil?”
“Guh, I don’t know how Jane dealt with this,” Sybil complained, “it’s like someone is banging a drum in my head with all these electronics.”
“Well at least now that we’re out, people won’t be like ‘Ahhh! A pony! Call the government!’” Sean said in a slightly mocking voice. “Oh yeah, being captured gave me a bunch of time to think of a name, I’m totally gonna be Iron Ore from now on!”
“Mom, dad, you sent me to a college not an insane asylum right?” I asked my parents.
“I’m not entirely sure anymore,” dad replied. “So what do we do now?”
“We inform the masses.” Obama spoke up, “If ignorance continues to persevere through this disaster, panic will reign.” He turned to me now, “From what your friends have said and your title as a ‘seed’ would you be willing to assist me?”
“I…” I looked over at my friends, the Japanese ponies, and back at my parents. Their fates were in my hooves. “I’ll do it.”
“Excellent, the emergency broadcast will be ready in a few minutes.”
“B-b-broadcast!?”
“Well, of course, we need to reach the people as fast as possible.”
“It’s just, um, wow, I’m a little nervous.”
“John,” Summer trotted over towards me and my parents, “I know you can do it, you got us this far didn’t you?” She then kissed on the cheek.
“Oooh, John,” my sister teased, “this has so got to count as a crime in some form, does it count as a crime dad?”
“Shut up Rachel!” My dad and I replied simultaneously.
“Guh! Dad doesn’t even work in that form of law!” My dad was a lawyer. Hmm, wonder if they have lawyers in Equestria. I turned back over to Summer, “Thanks Summer, still don’t know what you see in me though.”
“Aw John,” she nuzzled me, “you just know how to get through things.”
“She’s got a point,” Dawn said, “I mean, I know we didn’t get control of my magic, but you still tried to help. I don’t know what we would have done without you.”
“Yeah pony!” Iron couldn’t check his voice to save his life, “Shit was flying everywhere and you were like ‘let’s help Dawn’ and it was sweet!”
“Sean, for god’s sake, you’re in the Oval Office!” I yelled at him, “Show some manners.”
“It’s quite alright,” Obama chimed in, “stranger things have happened in here.
“I highly doubt Clinton counts,” I sarcastically replied. Everypony except the Japanese ponies laughed at that.”
“Oh yeah John,” Dan interrupted the laughing, “is there going to be more potion soon?”
“Sorry Dan, I don’t know, but I…” I saw him looking over at Sybil, “oh.”
“It’s just that I want to get it over with now that, well… my girlfriend is a unicorn.” Dan’s face was now red with embarrassment.
“Oh, I’m sorry Dan,” Sybil stumbled over to him; she still needed to get the hang of walking. “I just wanted to help Jane and I didn’t know what else to do and the potion was there an-”
“Shhh,” Dan bent down and stroked his hand through Sybil’s mane, “it’s ok… just really awkward right now.”
“Smooth Dan,” Nate chimed in.
Then the phone on Obama’s desk rang. He picked it up and listened. He set it down and looked at me. “It’s time, are you ready?”
I looked over at everypony else in the room, “Yes, I am.”
“Then let us go, I’ll lead the way.”
~~~
Izumi floated a bowl in front of her. A few minutes ago, it had been filled with rice, but she had quickly finished the meal off. Rice had seemed mundane before, but now it had a whole different level of flavor. The farmer gave it to her whenever she asked.
She really did enjoy the Japanese countryside: it was quiet and serene unlike the city. The only annoyance was a small TV the farmer kept, but that was in his own room. Izumi had been staying a guest room of the farmer’s house for the past few days.
“Hmm,” she moved the bowl up and down. Her skill with magic had improved over the past few days. She could now easily move small objects around and even shift larger objects like the futon if she focused. It was odd to move inanimate stuff around. It felt like she was touching whatever it was she was manipulating, yet her hooves were still touching the ground.
“I hope everypony is ok.” She thought of her mother and the three girls she had transformed. The thought had woken her up a few times the first few nights she had been at the farm. But she had assured herself that Celestia would never let anypony get hurt. Celestia… what should I do?
She had thought that after she used up her potion, Celestia would have contacted her again. But no contact had been made. The closest thing to contact she had had was the farmer panicking on Monday over something in Australia. Izumi guessed that it must have had something to do with the entropy, but she had kept her mouth shut. She didn’t want the farmer to expel her like everypony in Tokyo had.
Her musings were cut short by the farmer bursting into her room.“Izumi-sama! He screamed. “Please come quickly, there is something going on in the United States that you must see!”
~~~
Somehow, David now both loved and hated his mum’s cooking. Before, his mum’s cooking had been ok, but now it was amazing to eat even the simplest dishes. The problem was that dishes weren’t simple anymore. All of them had complex backstories on where they came from.
A vegetarian shepherd’s pie now had a grand story behind it: the potatoes were raised in Ireland with quite fine soil, a shame some of the field they’d grown in had been overwatered; the peas were grown and harvested in an English farming town about five months ago and had then been frozen; and the carrots had actually come all the way from the United States, they had also been frozen and transported over the Atlantic. The flavor of the pie was an eloquent symphony, but David couldn’t fully enjoy it, because every bite he took came with a surge of information in the pie’s origins.
There had also been the potato incident on Sunday. David’s mum had been trying to make a vegetarian Cornish pasty (he had found at the hard way on Friday morning that bangers didn’t sit well with him anymore) and he had wanted to help at least a little. So he’d relegated himself to bringing the potatoes over from the pantry, it was the least he could do. But when he’d brought over the first potato, he’d experience the information stream as usual, but at the time, he’d also been hungry. His mum made the best Cornish pasty and just thinking about them made David drool. The potato in his mouth didn’t help either. He just wanted to eat some good food so badly.
Then he had walked over to his mum and she had given him a quizzical look. “David, I know you’re trying to help, but I don’t think I can use a potato with a bunch of spuds in it.”
David had spat out the potato in confusion and, to his shock, had seen that the potato was covered in green spuds. “Mum, it wasn’t like that when I picked it up, I swear!”
“Is…is it something you can do now?”
“I…I don’t know.” David backed away from the potato, afraid that it might burst into a giant plant any second. His mum had stopped cooking and had stroked his mane to comfort him.
“It’ll be fine David, I just wish the guard would listen to us.” She’d been trying for the past few days to get in contact with a government contact. If the end was coming, she wanted to make sure the Queen was safe.
Now it was around eleven on Wednesday night and still no calls had come in. David was sitting on his couch watching whatever was on the BBC. Suddenly, his program was interrupted.
“This is an emergency news report, we are now going live to United States president, who is about to address the strange events that have been plaguing the world for the past few days.”
“Mum!” David called out, “get in here! I think something is going on!”
~~~
Alvarez couldn’t find his way out of the forest. He knew where every plant and animal was, but everything just mashed together and confused his mind. He was lucky that now he could at least find edible plants. But the confusion of the forest was better than the areas where he felt nothing though, areas where time and space had stopped. Those places terrified him to the core, especially because every day, he could feel the dead zone’s area grow. He knew soon the forest wouldn’t bother him anymore, but a greater terror would replace it.
~~~
Atunga felt like a king. When he had landed in his village, the people had been shocked at seeing him. But they had also seen that he had moved the clouds and had thanked him greatly for it. They had slaughtered one of their last cows to honor him, but just seeing the people kill the animal had made Atunga sick.
But then they had also offered him milk and it was incredible. The only other time he had had milk was when he had gone through his initiation ceremony. But he could enjoy the milk without guilt, because he had ensured that rain would fall on the village. His skill in flight had increased substantially over the past few days, what had originally been instinct was now a honed tool.
There had also been his mother and his sisters. He had given the potion to them, they thought he was a spirit offering them salvation, the entire village did. The final serving of the potion had gone to the chief, who had graciously accepted it, thinking it was a sign from the gods that they were smiling upon the village.
Now his mother had a strange horn coming out of her head, while his sisters looked like him, but without wings. The chief, however, now had wings like Atunga did. Yet, the entire village now wanted the magical drink, they saw it as ascension to a higher level of being. But unfortunately, Atunga had received no more potion or dreams from the beings that had granted him this form.
Every night since he’d returned to the village, he’d prayed for Celetia and Luna to come back and speak to him, but nothing had come of his prayers. Now he found himself sprawled over the bed everyone in the village had made for him. He was about to fall asleep when a loud booming voice awoke him.
~~~
Jen was eating breakfast with her parents. They were all sitting in front of the telly, they’d found that chairs were quite difficult to sit in as ponies. Jen’s mom was now an Earth Pony, she looked a lot like Jen only no horn and her mane was yellow with purple highlights.
When her mom had come home, she’d nearly passed out upon seeing her and her dad as ponies. Then she’d called her dad a bloody idiot and downed a shot of the stuff herself. The first thing she’d done as a pony was buck her dad right in the face. Her dad was still nursing a black eye.
Jen had been quiet shocked when her mother’s brutality, but she’d been even more shocked when a tan aura had covered her dad’s face, which stopped it from swelling. She had innately used healing magic. But as soon as she realized what she was doing, the aura had faded and her dad had had to rely on ice rather than magic.
Now they were all watching the telly, waiting to see if any other parts of the world had gone through what had happened to Australia. The answer had come in the form of an emergency broadcast.
“I hope that is what I think it is,” Jen said.
“We all do sweety,” her dad replied.
~~~
All the cameras were trained on the president. Flashes were going off every half-second. He was used to this though. I was still behind the curtains where the reporters couldn’t see me and I was freaked the hell out. Oh god, I’m about to speak for both humanity and Equestria. I took some deep breaths. This is what I get for wanting to be a diplomat.
Then Obama spoke, “My fellow Americans and people around the world, as you have noticed, over the past few days strange events have been arising across our planet. Today, we are here to put the fears these events have caused to rest.”
“People of the world, we face a crisis the likes of which humanity has never seen before: our world is on the verge of collapse. An event we are dubbing ‘thaumatic entropy’ is spreading across our reality. It has already laid claim to Nevada and the South American nation of Bolivia.”
I heard gasps from the reporters. Ok good, that’s the right reaction. Maybe I’m not going as insane as I thought.
“But Mr. President,” one of the reporters called out, “are the events in Australia also tied to this ‘entropy?’”
“That brings me to my second order of business. While humanity is facing a doomsday scenario, we are not alone in fighting it. Individuals across the world have been contacted by an extra-spacial race we are calling the Equestrians. Some of you viewers may know this race from a popular children’s television show called My Little Pony.” I swore I head somepony slap their head.
“Government sources have confirmed that this show was in fact a message sent to humanity to warn and prepare us for the coming disaster. Their reality also faces a population crisis and is in need of more land to live in. Thus, they have come to us to reach a middle ground where both races shall survive.”
“Mr. President,” came another reporter’s voice, “assuming what you are saying is true, what is the middle ground that has been reached?”
I saw Obama pause on the stage for a second. Then he spoke again, “The human spirit has endured countless trials in the past: oppression, slavery, genocide; all these horrific events have left their mark on humanity. Yet, our essential essence of humanity, the ability to aspire for more and live for others has also remained in peoples’ hearts. What the Equestrians have given us is survival of the human spirit… at the cost of the human body.”
There were more gasps now. A reporter nervously spoke up, “Mr. President, what are you implying?”
“I think,” he gave me the signal to come onto the stage, “Mr. Bacanti can explain better than I can.”
I heard somepony hit the floor, I am not kidding, a journalist, trained to be stoic and controlled in the face of anything, had passed out upon seeing a flying horse. I walked over to the podium and balanced myself on it. “Um…” I looked over at the passed out reporter, “you might want to get him some medical attention.” The only thing that kept the reporters from rushing me was the secret service agents.
“This isn’t an elaborate costume right?”
“Do your wings functions?”
“What is you home world like?”
“How long does humanity have left?”
“Everypony!” I called out with as much volume as I could muster, “Please, calm down, calmness is the most important thing we can have right now.” All the reporters backed up and were silent. I don’t think they knew how to react to this. “Well, I suppose I should introduce myself first.” Oh god, I’m on international television, not some job interview. “M-my name is John Bacanti, I’m an eighteen year old citizen of the United States, and until last Sunday I was an average college student with friends and family. But… but now I’m also a pegasus and a representative of Celestia.”
“Who is Celestia?” A reporter asked.
“She is the monarch of Equestria.”
“Have you been to this ‘Equestria?’” Another reporter asked.
“I have not, I don’t believe any pony from Earth has had that privilege yet.”
“How did you come to obtain this form?” The reporters were getting bolder now.
“A potion sent by Celestia causes humans to turn into ponies.” My god, this is a strange day. “It may be the only way to save humanity. She has said that more magic needs to be created and humanity must answer the call.”
“Can you truly call yourself human anymore?” The reporter’s question might as well have been an knife to my heart.”
“I…” I was wavering, “I…” but I knew what was at stake here; this was bigger than me, bigger than anypony. I dug deep into myself for strength, “I want to believe I’m still human, I have to for the future, because that is what I am fighting to save!” I didn’t notice my flank start to glow. “If the human spirit is infallible, then right now I am a human in sprit, I have to persevere to save everypony!” The glow brightened, I didn’t notice, “Celestia said she’d be sending help soon, but until then, we, the human race, must put aside our differences and stand united, whether or not we look human anymore!”
The world flashed white for a second. I looked back to see what the source of the light was. There was now a star partially covered by a cloud on my flank. Well I looked like my OC, shoulda known I’d get the same cutie mark as well. But before I could marvel at the cutie mark more, I saw that Celestia was standing beside me at the podium. She was still blue, but was less ghost-like now, I couldn't see through her this time. She looked over at me with a smile.
“Well done my little pony, I couldn’t have said it better myself,” she said and then turned over to face the cameras. All the reporters just looked on in stunned silence. “Greetings Earth,” her voice seemed to echo even more than it should have with a microphone, “I am…”
~~~
“Luna, Princess of Equestria!” Luna’s voice filled London’s streets. David had rushed outside as soon as he’d heard it. Aside from the name, Luna was saying the exact some things Celestia was saying on the telly.
What he saw outside made his mouth drop. A vision of Luna was up in the sky above London. “If you have been listening to you communication devices, then you know that the end is nigh for both our realities. But fear not, we have come up with a solution.”
~~~
“We have devised a potion that will transform you into ponies and stop the spread of the magical entropy that threatens your world.” Izumi stared up at the projection of Celestia in the Japanese sky. Celestia’s image was right in front of the rising sun.
The farmer was bowing to Celestia’s image, “My god, it’s the Sun Goddess, she’s descended from heaven!”
~~~
“We know this is a difficult choice to make,” Luna continued over the Kenyan night, “but we assure you, we are trying to preserve the best of what both races have to offer.” Atunga could only stare dumbfounded at the princess in the sky, then again, that was all anyone in his village could do.
~~~
“However,” Alvarez couldn’t see Celestia through the thick forest canopy, but he could hear her, “just becoming ponies won’t be enough to fully stop entropy. Equestria must also enter and occupy Earth’s realm.”
~~~
“Regrettably,” Celestia continued over the Australian morning sky, “this means that Earth will cease to be as you know it.”
“Oh my god,” Jen brought a hoof to her muzzle as she looked up at the princess in the sky.
“But, if what my little pony in America has said is true, then I believe you humans will be able to overcome this adversity and come to reach even greater heights in Equestria! We will be sending potion to all your major cities. As soon as more people are converted, more potion will come, so there is no need to panic. Earth and Equestria will prevail!” Celestia’s image then seemed to pause in the air.
~~~
Celestia turned back to me now, “Now there is one more thing I must ask of you today.”
“W-what?” I’d spent all my bravery and now my head was beginning to spin.
“Fly,” she said to me and then turned her attention back to the cameras. “Seeds! If you can hear me, use your magic now! Fly, grow things, use your horn, whatever it takes to summon your magic!”
My wings responded to the call, even if I couldn’t sense the artificial air in the room, there still had to be currents created by the AC. I zoomed around the air and started doing rapid circles. Hats and papers started flying into the air as I picked up speed.
~~~
“Mum!” David rushed back into his house, “get the potatoes!”
“David what i-”
“Just get the potatoes, the veggies, anything!” He dashed over the pantry alongside her. He stuck his hooves into the middle of the sack of potatoes and pushed past the information surge and focused on only one thought: GROW!
~~~
“Izumi-sama what are you doing?!” The famer was alarmed to see that all the water in one of his patties was rippling now and covered in a blue glow.
“Quiet!” Izumi yelled as she poured even more power into her horn. Princesses! Be with me!
~~~
Atunga was dashing through the clouds; he didn’t even see what the other ponies were doing. He just knew that now was the time to fly. He bent and shaped the clouds into surreal forms that nature could never form on its own. Then he got an idea. He rushed to push all the clouds into one huge cloud.
As he pushed more and more clouds together they grew dark. He began to feel a tingling throughout his body, but he didn’t care. Once he’d gotten all the clouds together, he started spinning around the structure as fast as he could, the force would hopefully compress the cloud more.
He was so preoccupied with fulfilling the princess’s order that he didn’t even notice the lightning bolt. Not that he really could have noticed the bolt it was lightning after all. A raindrop was the last thing he felt before the world went dark on him.
~~~
Alvarez focused all his attention into the ground beneath his hooves. There were countless seeds beneath him, just waiting for the right moment to sprout. That moment was now. “Please!” Alvarez pleaded to the sky as he felt the plants wiggle underneath him, “Please help me out of here!”
~~~
Jen was straining all her thoughts into levitating everything in her living room. Everything was now floating the air above her and her parents’ heads.
“You’ve got this sweetie!” Her dad encouraged her.
“You can do it Jen!” Her mom added.
“Guh,” Jen’s head was starting to hurt, “why do you always have to be so dotting!?” Her horn glowed brighter now.
~~~
The reporters were now hugging the walls in a panic. I’d essentially created a vortex in the middle of a press conference. My wings and lungs were starting to hurt now. This was the fastest I’d ever gone, even faster than when I’d been chasing Summer. But I pushed past the pain and kept going. “C’mon gotta go faster!”
A bright flash appeared in the center of the vortex and blinded me for a second. I crashed right into the podium. Luckily, it appeared magic glasses were also durable glasses, as they were perfectly fine despite my collision. The world was still spinning on me when I tried to get up though. “Ugh, I really hoped that worked.” I brought a hoof to my head to steady myself, but I still couldn’t tell up from down.
“You did more than just make it work, you made it work great!” Came an ecstatic voice. I couldn’t tell where it was coming from, everything looked like a blur to me. I nearly fell over, but something caught me. “You might want to take it easy though, making tornados can take a lot out of a pegasus.”
The world was starting to focus again. I saw directly in front me that the room was now filled with boxes. “You’re telling me, how Rainbow Dash did that stuff in the show must have been an exaggeration.”
“Well, maybe they went a bit far with my sonic rainboom,” the voice replied.
“Yeah well I…” I looked to see that a blue wing was keeping me steady.
“Oh, um, but if you want an autograph, I’d always love to give my first trans-dimensional one to you! I think you earned it!” An azure pony smiled back at me.
“This… this is really happening right?” A red necklace with a lightning bolt in the middle was draped around her neck.
“You bet it is! Nice speech by the way, it was almost as cool as the tornado!” She brought her wing back to her side and trotted in front of me and held out a hoof. “Oh yeah, it sounds like you already kinda know me, but I think a proper hoofshake’s in order.”
I tentatively held out a hoof, “I…I’m John Bacanti.”
“‘Bacanti?’ Huh, humans sure have some odd names.” She somehow gripped my hoof with hers, “Well, I’m the one and only Rainbow Dash!”
The Conversion Bureau: Reality Break
Saga 2: Laughter
“Oh wow! So this Earth! It’s even more strange that Celestia said it would be!” Pinkie Pie was jumping around David’s kitchen. David and his mum could only look on in pure disarray at the pink pony that had teleported into their house. “Hmm, then again, a pink talking pony must seem pretty strange to you.” Her attention was now back on David and his mum. “That was hilarious how you got me here, I would have never thought of making potatoes grow like that!” The floor of David’s kitchen was now covered in potato plants that had grown without water or soil.
“I...uh...” David didn’t know what to say, “did... did I break the fourth wall?”
“What?” Pinkie gave him a confused look, “No, you just helped stabilize an quantum-thaumatic einstein-rosen bridge silly!”
“A...a what?”
“Oh yeah, guess that would be a little hard to explain, it’s like that show you watch here with the guy and the police box, ya know, the one you all thought was in Equestria as well?”
“D-david?” his mum was completely flabergasted, “w-what’s going on?”
“I...I think I summoned Pinkie Pie.”
“What is a Pinkie Pie?”
“I am!” Pinkie got right in his mum’s face.
“Ahh!” She screamed as she fell back.
“Oh wow, you humans are hilarious! This is gonna be a piece of cake!”
“What is?” David nervously asked.
“Getting you to use your element of course!”
“My what?!”
“This thing!” Pinkie pointed at the necklace draped around her neck. “Actually, I should probably give it to you.” She took off the necklace and handed it over to David.
David could only stare in confusion at the jewelry. “What...what am I supposed to do with that?”
“Use it, duh, at least that's what the Princess said.”
“How?” David took the jewelry and fiddled it around in his hooves.
“Well...hmm,” Pinkie raised, “it took Twilight’s spark to get them to work for us, but... Oh! I know! Make me laugh!”
“W-what?”
“You sure like saying that word a lot, is that something humans do? Say ‘what’ a bunch of times?”
“Please!” David held out a hoof in front of her face, “can you please just slow down and try to explain things to me?”
“Oh yeah, guess this is a little confusing and all... hey, that’s right I don’t even know your name! It’d be kinda weird to just call you human-pony.” She held out a hoof to shake.
“I...I’m David Muller.” He stretched out a hoof meet hers, and she vigorously shook it.
“Nice to meet you David, I’m Pinkie Pie! But you probably already knew that.”
“So...” he looked at the necklace that had fallen on the ground in the confusion, “I have to use that?”
“Yeah, I’m here, so that means you’re good at making everypony laugh!”
“I mean, I can crack a few jokes at the pub with my mates, but I don’t think I could represent laughter.”
“Oh don’t give up, it’s just like my granny used to say, ‘ya just gotta laugh!’”
“I...” David put a hoof to his head to steady himself, “I think I need a drink.”
“Oooh, ya got any cider? Trans-dimensional travel can make you thirsty.”
“I’ll...” David’s mum searched for something to say, “I’ll make some tea, it’ll help calm everything down. Um, David? Why don’t you and our guest go watch the Telly and talk. You...you probably can handle this better than I can.” David knew that was his cue to leave the kitchen with Pinkie, his mum couldn’t take much more.
The two Earth Ponies trotted into the living room. On the Telly, the news anchors were literally scrabbling to get live coverage of events around the world. Right now, they were showing four separate feeds of Berlin, Shanghai, Jerusalem, and New Delhi: the structures of the buildings in the feeds varied, but David guessed they were showing government buildings. All four buildings had riot police deployed to defend the brown boxes that had materialized by the buildings.
“Oh wow!” Pinkie commented, “So this is the TV thing Celestia was talking about. Hmm, wish everypony would stop fighting like that though, the Princess said there was enough for everypony.”
“Trust me, that’s not bad rioting, I’ve seen worse at football matches,” David commentated, but then he remembered that he was talking Pinkie Pie and the surrealness of the situation flooded back on him. “You... are you really Pinkie Pie?”
With a single hoof, she somehow managed to pull her pink, fluffy hair down and look at it; then she looked at the three balloons on her flank, “Pretty sure I’m Pin- OH! You mean TV Pinkie. Well, I mean, I’m kinda like her, but it’s not like I can touch the edge of a screen and my hoof will pop out on the other edge. That’d just be silly in reality. Ooh, or making everypony sing and dance perfectly, I mean I do that by myself all the time, but there’s no way I’d ever get everypony to sing and dance like TV me does. But other than that, Celestia said you got stuff pretty close to the truth."
“Oh, um, I see.”
“You ok?”
“It...it’s just been an odd couple of days, ya know? I mean, just a week ago I was walking on two legs and hanging with my mates at school. Now, I’m a horse-”
“Pony!”
“Um, pony, that can make plants pop out of nothing and now I’m talking to somepony who I thought was a cartoon. It’s a little confusing.”
“Like being spun around really fast while you’re trying to hold your breath?”
“Um, yeah, I think.”
“Well, don’t worry, we’re all here now to help you with the elements!” She smiled at David, he could almost feel the energy flowing of her.
“Wait, so if you’re here does that me-”
“We now go live to Buckingham Palace,” a new reporter interrupted David, “where Her Majesty will address the kingdom.” The camera switched to a live feed of the palace, but the Queen wasn’t in sight yet.
“Oooh, you have a monarch too? Yay! I got th-”
“Shh!” David’s attention was fully on the screen.
“My people!” came the Queen’s voice, “As you have just heard, our kingdom, nay, our planet stands on the brink of collapse. But we are the United Kingdom! We have withstood the tests of time, war, and natural disasters! Now we must remain united!” An aged blue pegaus with a blue and white mane now slowly trotted in front of the cameras, she had the Queen’s voice. “As monarch, I am a representative of my people to the Lord and to the world. Therefore, I ask you, as my subjects, to stand firm in human spirit, while entering this brave new world as the great explorers of old did!” The Queen flared up her wings in a grand gesture.
“Oh my lord! Her Majesty’s a pegasus!” David swore he felt his heart miss a beat.
“Right now,” the Queen continued “I, along with the Prime Minster, have deployed our royal and military forces to secure and distribute the potion in an orderly fashion. We of the United Kingdom are a noble people and I ask that we all act noble now as well. With that said, I issue a royal decree that all my subjects go to the nearest major city and get converted. We will show the world our unity in our effort to preserve the human race!”
The screen returned to the news anchor, the director actually had to tell him to pull it together to snap him out of his shock. “Ladies and gentlemen, her majesty has evidently taken the, er, pony potion and has now issued a royal decree to take the pony potion as soon as possible. In... are we really saying that? In light of these events, the BBC will be canceling all other programs to cover the Equestria crisis. It has also come to our attention, that maintaining operation of the BBC may... may no longer be possible once the nation has reached 100% conversion.” The news anchor had a nervous look in his eye and was sweating profusely as he spoke. “B-but, in honor of Her Majesty’s choice, we and our other networks will now be playing our national anthem before continuing our coverage of these events.”
David’s mouth hung open in shock.
“You ok?” Pinkie asked. She waved a hoof in front of David, but got no reaction. He’d pretty much gone catatonic. “Hello, Mr. Muller?” she sang the question. “Oh no, did the TV break your mind? Oh Celestia warmed me about that!” She got up and instantly bucked the Telly. That snapped David out of his stupor.
“Huh, what?!”
“Ok, good you’re back, thought I’d lost ya there for a second.”
“David?” David’s mum walked back into the room and dropped the tea when she saw the broken Telly. “What...what happened in here?!”
“Mum,” David slowly turned over to her, “mum, Her Majesty is now a pony.”
His mum brought her hands to her mouth, “Oh my lord! What did she say?!”
“Just to get converted.”
“But she also looked pretty good for an old pegasus!” Pinkie chimed in.
“Then... then where is that stuff you brought home?” His mum asked.
“Mum... you’re not gonna...” David was nervous.
“Her Majesty ordered it. Besides, I think the streets are about to get more loopy than they are on New Years.” As she talked, she went into the kitchen pulled out the still-full pint of potion. “Anything special I should know about this?”
“Just that you need to take three ounces and that the flavor is apparently awful,” Pinkie smiled at the prospect of another pony. “Oooh, I wonder what type you’ll be.”
“Don’t really care whether I’ve got wings, or a horn, or whatever. I just want to be with my son.” As she spoke she poured the drink into a shot glass. It had been David’s father’s. David hadn’t seen it out of the cupboard since his father had passed away.
“Now when you drink it, you might wanna-” David’s mum downed the potion as Pinkie was talking. David barely managed to catch her before she hit the ground. “-lay down.” David backed away from her as her skin turned white.
“Is...is she gonna be alright?” David asked Pinkie.
“She’ll be fine, we might wanna wait in the other room though, I heard it’s not pretty to watch.” As Pinkie spoke, her left forehoof bent oddly to touch her neck. “Plus, I think we’re gonna have company in a few seconds.”
The Conversion Bureau: Reality Break
Saga 2: Honesty
“There ya are!” Applejack said as she trotted over to Alvarez, “Yer coat blends in pretty well with this place. Do ya need some help?”
Alvarez had gotten tangled in the plants that had sprouted up underneath him and he couldn’t get his hooves free. “Y-yes, please.”
Applejack bent down and easily plucked the plants away from Alvarez’s hooves. “Ya ok?”
“I...I think. Are you one of the ‘seeds’ the spheres talked about?”
“Naw, A’m Applejack, A’m from Equestria. Nice ta meet ya though.” She held out a hoof. Alvarez just stared at it. “A’m guess’n you’re still getting used to the hooves?” Applejack awkwardly smiled at him.
“I... yeah, I’ve just been stuck in this forest for so long. I’m just glad someone is here now too.” Applejack looked like a saint to Alvarez.
“Well, don’t worry, we’ve got some moving ta do. Ah still think it’s a pretty nice home ya got though.” Applejack looked around the forest. “Shame that there entropowhatsit struck here.”
“You can feel that?” Alvarez could feel that the closest part of the entropy was a few miles away.
“Well, Ah am an Earth Pony, just like ya are, so feeling where stuff’s living and ain’t living is just a part of the trade.”
“But it doesn’t hurt you?”
Applejack gave Alvarez a quizzical look. “Why would it hurt me?”
“I couldn’t move for at least an hour when I came into this forest.”
“Hmm,” Applejack raised a hoof to her muzzle, “well, A’ve always been an Earth Pony, feelin the earth is like breathin ta me. But I guess humans have never been able to do stuff like that. Growin stuff must be a pain for ya.”
“I...I never grew anything.”
Applejack’s confused look deepened, “But yer an Earth Pony, weren’t ya an Earth Human before?”
“What?” Now Alvarez was confused as well.
“Well the Princess said some humans look different than others. So Ah assumed ya had Earth Humans, pegasi humans, and unicorn humans.”
“I, um, it doesn’t exactly work that way. There are different races of humans, but not like that. Like in my city, everyone had a similar history and skin color, but the tourist were different. They were from different places and had different histories than us.”
“Ah think Ah kinda understand. It’s kinda like what we have down in Appleloosa with the buffalo.”
“Apple-what?”
“It’s a town some of ma relatives founded, but that’s not really important right now. We gotta go meet up with everypony else. Oh, Ah almost forgot!” She picked up the jewelry around her neck and handed it to Alvarez. He’d never seen anything look that precious, not even the gold ring he’d managed to steal one time. “It’s yers now.”
“What...” he looked at the mysterious jewelry dangling in the pony’s hoof, “what is it?”
“It’s an Element, the Element of Honesty to be specific.”
“W-what do I do with it?”
“Well, the princess said ya’ll had to use ‘em now.”
“Can’t you just use it?”
“Ah would, but A’m Equestria’s Element of Harmony, not Earth’s. Yer Earth’s Element.”
“But...I...I’m not honest.” Something told Alvarez that even if he had lied, the pony in front of him would have called his bluff.
“What do ya mean?”
“I’m a thief, I only lived to steal!” Alvarez had always felt a twinge of guilt about his crimes before, but now they were weighing down on him like a sack of bricks.
“Was there a reason ya stole stuff?”
“T-to live,” his eyes were starting to sting now, “and to make sure my family lived as well too. B-but now...now...” Tears cascaded down his cheeks as he remembered the horrific events that had led him here.
“It’s ok,” Applejack patted him, “yer were honest to me about yer actions and it sounds like ya had integrity when ya stole. Ya only did it to help others right?”
“I...” he sniffled, “I think.” As he spoke, his flank glowed bright and, for a second, both he and Applejack were blinded. Applejack recovered a little more quickly than Alvarez.
“Huh,” Applejack was now staring at his flank, “bit of an odd cutie mark, but Ah think it works for ya.” A dinner plate and a shank now graced Alvarez’s flank. “Plus, if that’s not an indicator that yer honest, I don’t know what is.” The Element of Honesty was not draped around Alvarez’s neck.
Alvarez was more focused on the drawing on his flank though. “What... what is this?”
“That there’s a cutie mark, ya get one when ya find out what yer special talent is. Glad Applebloom isn’t here, she’d be mighty mad if she saw that a pony got a cutie mark that fast.”
“So, everyone gets one of these then?”
“Everypony,” Applejack corrected him and then looked up at the canopy and could tell that the sun was getting lower, “A’ll explain while we walk, don’t see much point in wastin more time standin around.” With that said, she started walking north.
“Where are we going?”
“Ah told ya before, ta meet up with everypony else. It’s faint, but I think I can feel another Element north of here.”
“Ok,” he followed after her. For a few minutes there was an awkward silence, where the only noise was the sound of the forest around them. Then Alvarez spoke up again, “Am..am I going to be stuck like this?” As he spoke, he looked at his green hooves moving below him.
“Ah guess it must be rough for ya being a human and all. But Equestria’s a real nice place... has gotten a little rough in the past few years though.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, after we saved Princess Luna, we thought things would be great. They were, they were just too great. Everypony was celebrating Luna’s return and for a lot of ponies that meant new foals. Foals just kept coming, why, we must have run out of apple cider faster each year. But then we started havin to let ponies sleep under our trees. At first, we let a few stay in the barn, help with the daily grind, but soon the barn became full. Sleepin under the trees was better than sleepin on the road. At least until winter came.” Applejack’s face darkened.
“The trees don’t make fruit in the winter and it was so cold outside. We had to keep some of our trees growin, but we couldn’t let the ponies freeze either. Ah still remember Applebloom crying when we had to take down the first tree she successfully bucked. Three years after Luna came back, we didn’t have any more trees to burn. We couldn’t sacrifice any more, we still had ponies to feed and that was getting harder as well. A’m just thankful some unicorns got fires and matches as their cutie marks. If it hadn’t been for the magical fires, Ah don’t know what Ah would have done. But even magical fires can only last as long as the unicorn casting the spell is awake and keepin the fires going was taxing.”
As Applejack spoke, Alvarez thought back to the many cold winter nights he’d spent on the streets. A cheap fire made of newspapers and the warmth of his brothers and sisters had been the only thing that had gotten him through those nights. “I understand, the cold is truly a merciless thing.”
“But luckily, the Princess had a plan. She’d actually had it for a while, but seeing the situation Equestria was in must have pushed her. Ah think reviving the Elements helped her send more warnings here as well.”
“Well, the Princess had apparently been trying to send stuff to this world since Luna had been banished. Equestria’s problem was a recent one, but yours was something that’d been going on for a long time. The Princess knew now was the time to act.”
“So that’s why this is all happening now then?”
“Ah think, bu-” Applejack stopped. They had reached the edge of the forest, but now a greater challenge was in front of them. A few yards ahead of them, they could see a man who looked like he was running from something. But now he was forever frozen, running as fast as he could with one foot eternally off the ground. “Shoot, this might get a little rough.”
“I-it’s the dead zone,” Alvarez shook.
“Yeah and there’s no way around it.” Applejack had her eyes closed as she spoke, she was looking for a way around the entropy. “Well, guess we’ll just have to power through it.”
“Do...do we have to?” Alvarez nervously asked, but Applejack had already entered the entropy’s zone. “W-wait!”
“See,” Applejack’s voice sounded a little more strained now, “that wasn’t too bad. Let’s just get through this quick, ok?” She started to gallop through the frozen city’s streets. Alvarez followed.
At first, Applejack kept a good lead on Alvarez, but he soon caught up to her. As soon as he passed her, he knew something was wrong. “Do you need to rest?”
“No!” She was sweating hard now and breathing heavily, “it’s probably just a few more minutes of galloping, then we’ll be-” Applejack fell down.
“Applejack! Applejack!” Alvarez cried out. “No! Not again, I...I won’t lose anyone again!” The gem around his neck flashed and then Applejack was suddenly on his back. He didn’t question how she’d teleported onto his back, he just knew it was time to run. He ran even faster than when he’d first become a pony. He felt the cement crack a little under the force of his hooves. All he cared about was getting away from this hellish place and saving the one creature who’d been able to help him. The city gave way to the jungle again and then the information surge hit Alvarez. He tripped on a root and he and Applejack tumbled forward.
When he got up he saw that Applejack was in front of him. But her orange coat now looked faded and grey and she was barely breathing. “Applejack! Please, stay with me! I... I can’t lose another sister!” He’d only know her for a couple of hours, but somewhere deep down, Alvarez felt that he was connected to this pony, just as he was now connected to the earth. “Please!” Fresh tears ran down his face.
But he then he felt something in the earth. It wasn’t the same as the information surge, it was more quiet and gentle than that. It was a small heartbeat, it was Applejack’s heartbeat, but it was growing more quiet. “No!” Alvarez screamed at the heavens. “Live!! ” He poured all his energy into the heartbeat. Things grew fuzzy as his energy started to give out. The last thing he saw was a bright flash.
“Hey!” Applejack’s voice called out to Alvarez, “come on, it’s not worth ma life if ya die!”
“Ugh,” Alvarez could only open in eyes, the rest of his body was completely sapped of energy. But he was glad to see that Applejack was up again, her coat still looked a little faded though. “Are you ok Applejack?”
“Yeah, better than ok, ya actually helped get some help here.”
“Glad to see he got his Element working so fast,” came another voice. Alvarez couldn’t see who the voice’s owner was. “But we’ll need to watch it on teleporting, it takes a bit out of me. But it looks like both of you have seen worse.”
“Oh, good, there’s somebody else here,” Alvarez’s voice was strained, “heh, now it’s my turn to get carried.” Alvarez passed out again.
The Conversion Bureau: Reality Break
Interlude Three: Dinner and a Show
I never really did like having dinner at a long table. There’d be people at the opposite end that I’d wanted to talk to and people near me that I didn’t want to talk to. Right now, I couldn’t make heads or tells of who I wanted to talk to. I wanted to ask Dan how his new wings felt or ask how Nate was dealing with being an Earth Pony. I wanted to talk with my family some more and see them for the last time as humans. But, most importantly, I wanted to talk to Dash, she held all the answers... I hoped.
“Um, you’re sure your special somepony won’t mind you sitting next to me?” Dash looked over at Summer who was talking with Dan at the moment, probably about flight. The president wasn’t with us, he’d gone off to oversee military and civilian control. I imagined there would be more than a few riots going on right now.
“I...I think Summer will forgive me.” I’m talking to Rainbow Dash, what the flying f*&k?
“Wait, what’s her name again?”
“Summer... Summer Wind.” What had Mary’s last name been again?
“You know,” Dash spoke as she munched on a salad, she didn’t seem as enthusiastic about eating as newly-converted ponies were, “that sounds a lot like good pony name. So do some po-, er, humans, have names that are kinda pony-like, while others have names like you?” She pointed a hoof at me.
“Well, Summer kinda changed her name after she became a pony.”
“Oh, nice, it’s a pretty good name for a pegasus. So,” she was looking directly at me now, “how come you haven’t changed your name yet?”
“I...” I looked over at my parents, they were trying to convince my sister to drink the potion, “I just want to keep at least something human with me, something more tangible than my spirit at least.”
“You’re loyal to your roots, that’s pretty radical.” Dash twisted the lightning bolt jewel on her necklace. “It’ll probably make using this a lot easier too.”
“But how? I mean, I’m just a pegasus trying to get through this mess, am I really a loyal pony?”
“Hmm, I think it’s more than that, you’re a loyal person and a pegasus.”
“I... I guess.”
“Don’t guess, I know it!” Dash lightly elbowed me with a hoof, “If you weren’t loyal, I wouldn’t be here.”
“Well you’ve got me there. Still, just this conversation alone is all sorts of weird.”
“Why’s that?”
“Try to understand, a week and a half ago, you were just an animation on a screen, not a flesh and blood entity. It’s a little odd to see what you perceive as fiction become reality.”
“Heh, you sound like Twilight, wonder why you didn’t get a horn.”
“After seeing what Dawn and Sybil are going through, I’m glad I got wings. Unicorns seem the most indisposed to humanity. Plus, flight is awesome!” My wings twitched at the final sentence.
“Now you sound like Scootaloo when she first learned to fly. I swear that filly couldn’t stay on the ground! Then again, I was probably like that as a filly too.”
“Wait, Scootaloo can fly now? She never could on the show.”
“Well,” Dash shrugged, “I mean, that was a show, it probably got some stuff down, but not everything. Like that whole Mare-do-well thing the Princess told me about, that was just silly. If disasters like that happened in Ponyville that often, it’d bee a smoking crater by now...then again...” Dash’s face seemed to darken.
“What?” I asked worriedly.
“It got hard to live with all those other ponies. Even a small town like Ponyville was filled to the brim. Right before the Princess started her conversion plan, we’d had to start using cloud-walker spells on ponies. Ponies were being born faster than houses could be built. Clouds are easy to build with, but... do you like how free the air must be here?”
“I...I guess.” I thought back to my first flight as I looked out a White House window. I really need to go into the actual sky again.
“Well imagine the air filled with ponies. I admit, when I fly, I get a little reckless, but that’s just how pegasi are. We’re the rulers of the sky, we should be able to do whatever we want it in, but...” her words were becoming more strained, “when even shifting a cloud can cause a pony to fall, the skies become much less free.”
I didn’t want to pry any further, something had hurt Dash in the past though. “I...I see. You’re right though, the skies really are great, I’ll make sure all the pegasi can enjoy them!” My wings flared up on instinct. “Oh, um, sorry.”
Dash laughed, “Oh man, you really are just like Scootaloo! Whenever she wasn’t in the sky, her wings would flare up just at the sound of another pegasi’s wings beating. Guess flying must have really worn off on ya!” Dash smiled.
“Try to understand, humans see the world differently than ponies do: they can’t feel the air, taste the soil, or sense magic. Hell, I don’t know how I lived with food being so dull. But flight, my god, flight. That’s been a dream of humans forever. The closest we got were airplanes, but that’s nothing to these things!” I flapped my wings.
“Ya know, you sound like you’d be quite the star racer, it sounds like you really want to test your wings.”
“Well, I always did like running before all this, it helped clear my mind, maybe that’s why I like flight so much. It’s like running, only faster and the view is even better.”
“Ah-ha! I knew it! AJ said I was just bragging about flight, but now I have proof that it’s better than just keeping your hooves on the ground!”
“AJ... you mean Applejack right?”
“Duh.” Dash flicked me on the head.
“So the rest of you are here then?”
“You bet! Everypony shoulda met with their elements by now. Oh, that reminds me!” Dash took off her necklace and gave it to me. “I know this is sudden, but try to learn to use it as fast as possible. We’ve got a meetup to make.”
“Where?”
“Um,” Dash was searching her mind for the answer, “oh darn, where did Twilight say the origin point was again... um...” She looked over toward the window, “do you think somepony could open that?”
“Oh, I’ll get it Ms. Dash,” mom replied, “you’re helping our son out so much, it’s the least we can do.” Mom got up and opened the window and let the air in. Dan had to have my other friends steady him. This was the first time since he’d been ponified that he’d felt the open air.
While I was still trying to sort all the environmental information, Dash quickly took it all in. “Ok, it’s really far west of here, in a really big ocean.”
“The Pacific,” I replied.
“If that’s what you call it. It’ll take even us pegasi a few days. Shoot, if only Twilight or Rarity were here, they could teach your friends how to properly teleport. Then we’d be there an instant... not that we couldn’t fly there an instant. But you’re still getting used to your wings, so you probably couldn’t keep up that speed over such a long distance, no offense.”
“None, taken. I’m honestly amazed I’m as good at flying as I am.”
“Hey, don’t underestimate yourself, it took a lot to pull of that tornado today.”
“This coming from the pony who pulled of a sonic rainboom... you did actually do that right?”
“You bet! I’m the fastest flyer in Ponyville for a reason!”
After that we all enjoyed our dinner. I let my other friends talk with Dash as well. I was nearly rolling on the floor with Iron had gotten a little too close to Dash’s flank to look at her cutie mark. Her buck had sent him a safe distance away. Everypony laughed at that. Regardless, it was still a very, very odd dinner.
~~~
We were in a private guest bedroom of the White House. My parents were holding cups filled with the purple liquid. They were nervous, but they put on smiles in front of me. My sister just frowned. “John, I so get to hit you for this.”
“Heh, you better have wings to catch me then.” My sister instantly down the cup in response to my comment. I’d always wanted to get the last word in in argument with her, all it took was magic pony potion. Luckily, Rachel had fallen down behind the bed my family was sitting on, so they couldn’t see her transformation take place. I grew serious and looked at my parents. “Are you sure about this? I don’t know if you can go back.”
“Oh John,” mom tussled my mane, I’d always hated when she did that to me as a human, but it felt nice now,“we’re your parents, we raised you and loved you every day since you were born. We can’t do that if we’re like this and you’re like that.” The words stung a little, right now there was a gap between me and my own blood.
“Whatever happened to ‘you’re a college student and you’re your own man now’ stuff?”
“John,” dad replied, "whether you are a child, a man, or a pegasus; you are still our son. We’d choose to stand by you no matter what.”
I could have sworn I felt the Element around my neck pulsate. “Heh, why I got this,” I touched the Element with a hoof, “and you didn’t is beyond me.”
“Don’t worry John,” mom encouraged me, “I’m sure you’ll do fine, just like you always do.” She downed her potion and passed out.
“Dad...” I looked at my dad, “I know I didn’t talk with you that much... but I respected the work you did to keep me and mom and Rachel happy.”
“I know son,” he drank his potion, “I...know.” He was out. I didn’t need to see what happened next. In a few minutes, I’d be meeting my parents.
“See everypony on the other side.” I left the room just as dad’s skin went pure white.
The Conversion Bureau: Reality Break
The sound of falling rain was the first thing Atunga heard. The rain was coming down at a torrential rate, but the storm couldn’t sustain itself for much longer than a few hours. Atunga had been fast, but not efficient, in making the storm cloud. He slowly opened his eyes and saw that he was on his bed. There was yelling outside, but Atunga couldn’t tell whether it was joyous or panicked. Atunga got worried and tried to sit up, but his side still hurt from the lightning strike. A yellow hoof also kept him from getting up.
“No! Please don’t get up! You really hurt yourself and you need to rest a little more.”
Atunga looked up at the source of the voice and saw a yellow creature with pink hair. She had wings just like he did. “Who...” it hurt a little to talk, “who are you?”
“I...” the pegasus meekly replied, “I’m fluataotit.”
“My ears are probably weak as well, I couldn’t hear that.”
“I’m Fluttermph.” Atunga could see the creature back away a little, as if she was afraid of something.
“Is something wrong?” Now Atunga ignored the pain in his side and wished to help the yellow creature.
“N-n-no, everypony said I had to be brave and help you. I...I’m Fluttershy by the way.” Fluttershy now trotted closer to Atunga. “But... you really should lie down again, lightning strikes can really sting.”
“Wait, you’re here to help me?”
“Yes... I need to give you this.” As she spoke, she took off the jewelry around her neck and handed it over to Atunga. He winced a little when he moved his hoof out to take it.
“What is this thing?” The necklace felt warm in Atunga’s hoof.
“It’s an Element, my Ele- I mean your Element.”
“What do I-” Just as Atunga was asking the question, the chief burst back in.
“Good, you’re awake. The messenger has been very kind to you and our people.”
“Wha...what is going on?” Atunga limped over the the chief.
“As your rain falls down upon us, our people are joining you in preparation to enter the land of Equestria. Today is truly a day of celebration!” The chief’s wings flared up in happiness. Atunga dropped the necklace and limped outside to see what the chief was talking about. In the middle of the village was a large stack of crates. One of the village elders was taking flasks of the purple potion out of the crate and dispensing it to the the villagers. Those that had potion raised their heads to the heavens and offered thanks. Then they went to their own homes to share the elixir with their families.
Atunga turned back to Fluttershy now, “Did you do all this?”
“Actually, um, you did,” Fluttershy replied. “I mean, the reason I’m here is because of you... oh yeah, the, um, animals said thanks for the rain.”
“The animals?”
“Well, I mean, the giraffes and the hyenas and the little antelope things-”
“Sunis.”
“Yes, those things, they all seemed really happy with the water you’d been giving them lately.”
“I didn’t know I could talk to animals now.” Atunga hadn’t realized such an ability was possible. Then again, he could fly now, so the line between possible and impossible was more than a little blurred now.
“Oh well most ponies can’t, it’s just my special talent, just like yours is making it rain...I think.”
“Well, I brought rain here, but I just wanted to cure the thirst my people suffered from.”
“Well,” for some reason, Fluttershy was now looking at his flank, “I think that’s very kind of you and fits your cutie mark well.”
“My what?” What is a cutie mark? Something these creatures idolize?
“You didn’t know? Hmm, maybe you got it right when I got here. See?” She pointed at Atunga’s flank. A dark cloud and three cartoonish raindrops now graced his white coat.
“That is a ‘cutie mark’?”
“Yes, it shows what you’re really good at.”
“Wonderful!” The chief broke his silence to congratulate Atunga. “We shall have to celebrate even more now!”
“Actually,” Fluttershy meekly interupted, “a party might have to wait. There’s a really important thing we need to do and...” Fluttershy stopped and awkwardly stared at Atunga, “I’m sorry, I didn’t get your name.”
“Atunga Nossai.”
“Oh... hm, I thought your name would be something like Heavy Drizzle or Storm Chaser.”
“Those are quite odd names.”
“They are?” A confused look developed on Fluttershy’s face. “Oh, I guess humans don’t have names like ponies do, I’m sorry.”
“Oh, um,” now it was Atunga’s turn to be confused, “it is quite fine, but if names seem odd to you than were you not originally a human as well?
“Um, no, I’m from Equestria, the place the Princesses mentioned, I already told everypony in the village about it.”
“It is a grand land,” the chief interrupted, “filled with food and water for all of us.”
“Well,” Fluttershy replied, “that’s what Princess Celestia said. At least that’s what I hope new Equestria is like, it was getting a little hard in the old one to find food for the animals. But, that’s not really important right now.” Fluttershy turned her attention back to Atunga and the necklace. “Once you’re better, we need to go meet up with the others. But while you’re healing, I should probably get you to use that, if that’s ok with you.”
In response, Atunga slipped on the necklace. “Your kind has done much to help my people, I will do whatever I can to repay you.”
“Oh thank you!” Fluttershy hugged him, “I was so worried you’d say no and then the Element wouldn’t work and everypony would be mad at me.”
“No it’s qu-” Atunga slipped on the ground. The earth below him had turned into soap. “W-what?” His side burned as he tried to stand up.
“Oh no!” Fluttershy’s face was full of concern.
“What?” asked the chief.
“It’s a flux, the Princess said this might happen. It’s why we’ve got to use the ele-” Fluttershy now turned upside-down as her hooves stuck to the ceiling, “-ments as soon as possible! Otherwise thing’s get worse!” Fluttershy fell on the roof and started shivering. Suddenly a splattering sound could be heard outside.
“What is that?!” The chief rushed outside only to come back a moment later with a pie covering his face. He wiped it off with a hoof.
“Oh, I’m so sorry!” Fluttershy cried out from the ceiling.
“Will this...” the chief was having a hard time talking while walking on the slippery soap, “calm down?”
“After a few minutes it should, but it’ll become permanent soon if Equestria isn’t properly summo-” there was a bright flash and then the floor was normal again and Fluttershy fell back to the ground, “oww.”
“Is...is it over?” Atunga nervously asked. Then he realized his side didn’t hurt anymore. He flapped his wings just to check, there was no more pain.
“Oh, don’t do that yet, it’ll agitate where you got hit!”
“It feels fine now though.” Atunga prodded his side with a hoof to show it was back to normal.
“The flux must have done it, but at least it helped a little. Do you think you can fly now?”
“Yes, my wings have actually been wanting to flex since I woke up.”
“Then we should probably get going. The others are a bit of a flight away.”
“Chief,” Atunga knew he had duties elsewhere. “I’ve got to go now. Will the village be ok?”
“Child,” the chief replied as he patted Atunga with a wing, “we are an ancient people. We have withstood the test of time just as we shall withstand this test. We’ll look forward to seeing you in Equestria.”
“Thank you,” Atunga replied.
“No, it is us who should be thanking you. Had you not gone to the well to help your mother, we would not be enjoying this prosperity right now. You have brought us rain and bounty the likes of which we have not seen in many years. You have my blessing on this trip.”
Atunga felt the necklace pulsate as the chief spoke. “I... I promise, I’ll bring even more rain in Equestria!”
“Um, Mr. Nossai, are you ready to go?” Fluttershy asked.
“Yes, let us go.” With that, both he and Fluttershy left the village behind. The last thing Atunga saw of his village were roads covered in pies.
~~~
As the African sun blazed above them, the great plains stretched out beneath them. The sight was truly amazing to Atunga. Fluttershy seemed impressed as well, especially when they passed over animal herds.
“Wow, I’ve never seen so many elephants before!” Fluttershy looked in amazement at a massive gathering of elephants around a watering hole.
“I have never seen an elephant before,” Atunga also looked at the elephants below, “they usually don’t come near people.”
“They don’t?” Fluttershy flashed him a confused look, “but don’t animals live happily with humans?”
Atunga thought back to the cow the village had slaughtered for him, it made his stomach churn a little. “We raise some animals, but most of them are just food to us.”
“Food?” A look of horror creeped onto Fluttershy’s face, “You mean you... eat animals?”
“Well I, er,” Atunga felt like he’d said something horribly wrong, “I don’t anymore and it was pretty rare in my village. We mostly ate grains.”
“Oh... ok,” Fluttershy was obviously disturbed by such a notion. “I guess humans are different from ponies.”
“Is that what you call yourselves? ‘Ponies?’”
“Um, yes, we’re pegasi. But there are also Earth Ponies and unicorns.”
“Are these ‘unicorns’ ponies with horns sticking out of their heads?”
“Yes, they can use magic.”
“But we cannot?”
“Well, we use magic a different way, like how we’re flying right now and sensing the air.” Fluttershy coughed a little. “But it’s kinda rough flying with such low magic in the air.”
Atunga felt the air as he flew and noted nothing different. “The air feels normal to me, a bit hot for this time of year though.”
“Oh, I see, maybe it’s easier for you because you’ve lived your whole life without magic.” As the spoke, they began to cross over a body of water. By now the sun was beginning to dip lower in the western sky. They crossed the Mediterranean just as the sun fully fell below the horizon. By then, Atunga’s wings were aching and Fluttershy was breathing heavily. The long flight had been rough on them.
“Perhaps we should rest here for...” A pegasus interupted Atunga. But Atunga couldn’t understand what he was saying. But, to his shock, he saw Fluttershy speaking the same tongue as the pegasus. The pegasus nodded and flew back down. “Was he another pony from Equestria?”
“No, he’s actualy a newly converted pegasus, he just changed this morning. He saw us in the sky and wanted to welcome us, apparently there’s some big party going on on the island.”
“But how did you know what he was saying?”
“It’s a spell the Princess used on all of us, it lets whatever we say or hear be understood by anypony, no matter what they speak. It might get a little confusing when there are two ponies who speak differently though.”
“I se-” Atunga was interrupted by hearing Fluttershy’s stomach grumble. She blushed red in embarrassment. “Let’s go get some food.” They both floated down and entered the streets.
The streets were chaotic, but in a good way. People were walking through the streets with drinks in their hands and some people walked alongside ponies. Atunga could see that a few of the drinks people were holding were purple. Other people just had regular drinks, but their faces were red as they spoke in a language Atunga couldn’t understand.
An Earth Pony with a cleaver on his flank ran up to them. He spoke fast, but Fluttershy was able to translate, “He says it’s great to see more ponies, but he’s kinda mad he can’t bring more food for this party, he was apparently a... what’s a ‘butcher’?” Fluttershy asked Atunga.
“It... um, it’s a person who sells animal meat,” Atunga nervously answered.
“Oh...oh my.” Fluttershy looked like she was about to faint. But the butcher pony kept talking. “Um, what’s a ‘pope’?”
“I think he’s like a really important priest.” Atunga thought back to the numerous times missionaries had come to his village. He didn’t really listen to what they said, but they sometimes brought food and water and that was what he had cared about. He did remember a few of them mentioning a really important person who lived in a house far to the north of Kenya.
“Oh, is a priest like king or something?”
“I think kinda...I’m not really sure though.”
“Well he says Mr.Pope... is that what you’d call him?” Fluttershy asked the butcher. The butcher didn’t understand the question and just nodded. “Ok...” Fluttershy now turned back to Atunga, “he says Mr.Pope sent out a big message to convert and drink the potion.” The butcher spoke up again. “And Mr. Pope said there’d be a Mr. Jesus in Equestria, but I don’t know a Mr. Jesus.” Fluttershy then turned back to butcher and talked a little more, then she turned back to Atunga, “He says I must be a strange ‘angel’ to not know Mr. Jesus... but the only angel I know is my bunny.”
“I think he thinks you’re a guardian.”
“A what?”
“A guardian, at least that’s what my people call them. We’re born with a guardian, but some of the missionaries said there are these types of guardians called angels. They have wings and live in the clouds or something.”
“Well... that does sound a lot like a pegasus... maybe it’s something that got misinterpreted when the Princess sent stuff over to here.” Fluttershy awkwardly looked back and forth between Atunga and the butcher. “Oh I wish Twilight or Rarity were here, they could make this so much easier.”
“Who are they?”
“They’re my friends, we’re actually going to meet up with one of them soon.” Fluttershy coughed a little.
“You ok?”
“Just a little tired... it’s nothing.” Fluttershy then turned back to the butcher and talked with him for a little. He smiled the entire time. “He says we can stay at his place, he doesn’t need a home anymore.” They now both followed the butcher to his home. It was simple home, but at least it was a little far from the revelry that was going on. He gave them some water and home-grown figs before they went to sleep. As soon as they finished their food and drinks they were out.
~~~
Atunga awoke to the sound of Fluttershy coughing. He looked up from the mattress he was on over at her. “Are you ok?”
“I’m fine!” Her voice was much less gentle than it had been a day ago. “But you’re *cough* up now, so let’s go.” As Fluttershy got out from under her covers, Atunga could see that her mane and coat looked a little faded.
“Oh yeah, I thought about what you said yesterday about names and I think Sky Drifter might be a nice new name.”
“Oh, well good for you, you can tell it all to the Princess in Equestria.” There was something slightly venomous in Fluttershy’s voice now.
“Are you sure you’re ok Fluttershy?”
“I’m fine!” Fluttershy repeated as she walked out onto Sicily’s streets and instantly took to the air. “Now are you gonna fly or am I gonna have to walk?”
“I... I’m coming.” Sky jumped into the sky and joined Fluttershy. They didn’t talk this time though. As the sun slowly wheeled through the sky, the land below then shifted as well. By near sunset when they were over water again.
“Er,” Fluttershy complained, “stupid sun, why can’t your planet have a Princess like ours?!”
“Are you sure you ok?” Sky was getting worried now, it looked like Fluttershy’s mane and coat were getting more and more faded. Luckily, land soon came upon them.
“Finally!” Just as she said that, Fluttershy’s wings snapped to her sides and she tumbled down to the Earth.
“Fluttershy!” Sky chase after her falling form, but he didn’t know how to catch her. As she got closer and closer to the ground, Sky could only think of one thing: he’d fall below her and bear the brunt of the impact. As he got beneath her, he saw that she was now unconscious. “Oh shoot, oh shoot!” There was a bright flash as he hit the ground. The impact hurt; Sky felt something bend the wrong way. For a second he passed out.
When Sky regained conciouness, he felt one of his wings burning. He tried to flex it, but it sent a spasm of pain through his body. Then he saw Fluttershy a few feet in front of him. She looked tired, but at least her mane and coat had a bit more color now. “F-Fluttershy, are you ok?”
“I... I thi... Oh my gosh!” She quickly rushed over to Sky. What did I do?!” She started to cry.
“It’s fine, you must have just been tired.”
“But I said all those mean things and you got hurt because of me!” She sobbed. “I knew I shouldn’t have come, I’m just a crybaby who can’t even stand up when the world is ending!”
“That...that wasn’t you...” The Element sparkled in the night air, “I know we just met, but I know you’re a kind pony. You wouldn’t say those things unless you had a reason to.”
“No, no, no! I’m not a kind pony, I just a monster who says awful things to po-” Fluttershy stopped as she saw the Element glowing. “Oh my gosh! You got it to work!”
“I...” Sky looked down at the Element and realized a warm feeling was exuding from it. It lessened the pain in his wing. “I... I don’t know how though.”
“Well I think you deserve it much more than I do.”
“Fluttershy, that’s just si-” As Sky spoke he felt something in the air, like laughter had taken physical form and some way. “What is that?”
“Somepony must have activated the Element of Laughter.” Fluttershy had felt that air shift as well.
“You can sense where it is?”
“I mean... a little... it’s why we were flying this direction before. But I-” Sky collapsed as she was talking, “Oh no! Please be ok!” Fluttershy rushed to Sky’s side.
“That fall really busted me up,” he coughed, “I don’t think I can walk, let alone fly.”
“I... I’ll carry you.” Fluttershy bent down and skillfully draped Sky over her back. “It’ll take a little longer, but we’re close.” She slowly took off into the air.
“Heh, and you say you’re not kind, then why are you carrying me?” Fluttershy’s mane and feathers felt soft to Sky, even softer than clouds. Before Fluttershy could answer his question, he was out.
The Conversion Bureau: Reality Break
Saga 2: Generosity
“Well that was an interesting way to get me here,” Rarity looked at Izumi as she tried to dry herself off, the two ponies and the farmer were completely soaked, “but I think water manipulation might be a bit out of your league for now.”
“M-m-miss Rarity!” Izumi stuttered, “I...I’m so sorry, I only wanted to do what the Princess asked!”
“Well it’s quite fine, all the more reason to get this done fast so I can go get my mane redone.” Rarity took off the jewelry and handed it Izumi. “No sense in wasting time over wet manes, we’ve got work to do.”
“That... that’s the Element of Generosity!” Izumi had seen a few fan-made works online but none of them (even the ones made by actually crafters) could compare to this. The gold sparkled in the morning sun and the blue gem in the center seemed to glow on its own as well. She also felt a slight twinge in her head. It wasn’t like the buzzing she felt in the city, but she could feel this relic in front of her was a great source of energy.“It’s even more beautiful than it was on the show.”
“Oh,” Rarity seemed a little touched by Izumi’s insight, “well it’s yours now, I can’t really use it here.”
“But...but you’re the Element of Generosity, I...I just like you and your friends. I...I can’t take this.” Izumi lightly pushed Rarity’s hoof and the Element away.
“My dear,” Rarity pushed the Element back, “I insist, I may be Equestria’s Element, but you’re Earth’s. I know all this is a little sudden, but if I’ve arrived here then that means you must be quite the generous mare.”
“I...” Izumi levitated the necklace up and put it on, “I don’t know what to say.”
“Well for one, you can say you’re quite the skilled unicorn to be levitating stuff so carefully. When were you last human?”
“Sunday.”
“Oh I see, hmm, why your Element isn’t Magic I don’t know. But we haven’t got a lot of time to waste, um, can you teleport yet?”
“I did once... but I was desperate then.”
“I see,” Rarity’s horn lit up, “this might take a bit out of me, but we’ve got to move.”
“No! If it hurts you then I-”
Rarity and Izumi were gone. That left a very confused farmer alone in his field. “Amaterasu has very strange messengers.”
~~~
“Bloody Hell!” David exclaimed as two unicorns instantly appeared in his living room.
“Ugh,” Izumi felt a little sick from the teleportation, “the show never said anything about that.”
“Um,” David looked over at Pinkie, “do ponies speak different languages?”
“What are you talking abou-... oh yeah, the princess said humans had some weird language thingy. Rarity? Do you think you could pull of a “know-it-all spell?”
“Pinkie,” Rarity brought a hoof to her forehead,“give me a minute. Teleportation was always Twilight’s thing not mine.”
“Okey-Dokey!” Pinkie smiled, “Hey your mane and coat look a little different.”
“What?” Rarity seemed absolutely appalled that something had happened to her mane and coat. She looked back and saw their slightly discolored states, “Oh darn, the princess warned about this. Pinkie, the spell might have to wait, using magic is dangerous now.”
“Oh, it’s that scary, not-enough-magic-so-you-disappear thing! Ok, I pinkie promise I won’t ask for any more magic.” Pinkie then proceeded to stick a hoof in her eye.
“Hmm, well the Princess said that the Elements could help decrease the drain.” Rarity turned back to Izumi, “Izumi, right? Do you think I could have that back for a little?”
“Of course!” Izumi hastily took off the necklace and gave it back to Rarity. Then she looked at Pinkie Pie and an unfamiliar red pony. “Oh um, hello Miss Pinkie Pie... it’s ok to call you that right?”
“Sure, silly it is my name after all!” Pinkie smiled.
“And you are?” Izumi asked the stallion.
“Sorry Miss, I don’t speak whatever it is you’re speaking.” Izumi then switched to a slower English.
“Sorry, I had thought all ponies were able to speak to each other.” Izumi bowed her head in greetings, “I’m Izumi Taka, nice to meet you.”
“David Muller... where may I ask are you from?”
“Japan,” Izumi bluntly replied.
“Japan?!” David looked in shock at the trio of mares around him. “That’s a continent and a half away!”
“Well my good sir, teleportation has quite-” Rarity coughed a little, “advantageous, although it’s a little taxing here. Oh where are my manners, I’m Rarity, pleasure to meet you.” Rarity held out a hoof for David to shake. He awkwardly returned the hoofshake with his own.
“Nice to meet you Rarity, gotta say, seeing you isn’t a much of a shock as Pinkie though.”
“Yes, she can be a little crazy.”
“But it’s fun to be crazy, imagine if I was just like, blah,” Pinkie made an exaggerated sad face, “I’m Pinkie Pie and I think parties are boring.”
Izumi giggled a little. “Miss Pinkie you really are just like the show.”
“Well kinda... hey is anypony else having deja vu? Cause I’m totally having it right now.”
“Er,” David awkwardly explained, “the show kinda got stuff right, but it wasn’t exact.”
“Wait,” Izumi looked at David, “you’re a fan too? Oh I always wanted to talk to a fan in real life. Then again I aways wanted to be a pony in real life too.”
“You wanted this?” David wiggled a hoof to emphasize the point.
“Well I didn’t want the end of the world stuff, but didn’t you want to go on adventures with ponies?”
“I was perfectly fine watching the show with my mates. Getting hooves in an entierly different matter.”
“Well I guess some ponies just aren’t as big a fan of the show.”
“Speaking of which,” David looked at both Rarity and Pinkie now, “when this is all over, can I just go back to having hands and going to school and stuff.”
“Oh,” Rarity frowned a little, “sorry, but we had to make some sacrifices. I think the princess mentioned it but your planet has to be replaced by Equestria. Bringing it here will stop the entropy, but only full conversion will erase it. But... Equestria is a very nice place and the Princess said the expansion will make it even better.”
“Yeah,” Pinkie chimed in, “she said there was something about energy to mass conversion and it’ll make new Equestrai super hu-” Pinkie was interupted by a brick crashing through the window.
“Christ!” David exclaimed. Then he heard the shouting outside. “Oh hell.” He bucked open his door to see the streets awash in a sea of chaos. People were carrying food supplies and weapons and they all had looks a panic on their faces.
“Is this how humans party?” Pinkie looked outside, “Cause it doesn’t look very fun.”
“Pinkie, it’s not a party, it’s a riot.” David’s had a look of sheer horror on his face. “Rarity! Can you teleport us out of the city?”
Rarity’s horn lit up in response, but it’s glow fizzled out. “I...I can’t, not now at least... in a day maybe, but I was saving that for the big leap.”
“Cover? Can you give us any cover?” David asked as he galloped over to the kitchen. He chucked the Element of Laughter onto his neck and checked on his mom. By now his mum was ponified, but in the dream portion of the transformation. She was now a magenta pegasus with a black mane. David tried to put her on his back, but was unable to. “Could one of you help?”
Rarity stepped forward to assist, but Izumi stopped her. “No, please Miss Rarity, don’t use any more magic. I can handle it. This was the first time Izumi had manipulated a living thing. But it’s to help the ponies, so I’ve got to do it. Her horn lit up and a blue aura covered the pegasus on the floor. She slowly levitated up and plopped down on David’s back. “*Huff* that ok?”
“Yes, thank you Miss Izumi. Now let’s get out of... cover! Shoot, we’ll probably be swarmed if anypony outside sees us.”
“I... I think I’ve got that covered to,” Izumi responded. Her head had been hurting since she’d arrived in wherever she was now. Her horn flashed again and then the lights on the block went out. The ponies could still see fine though. “That work?”
“Wonderfully,” Rarity replied, “that buzzing was getting annoying.”
“That happened to you too?” Izumi asked.
“What are you talking about?” David asked.
“It must be a thing unicorns have to deal with here,” Rarity replied, “Pony magic must not mix will with Earth magic.
“Earth magic?” David asked.
“Yes, don’t humans use magic to make big cities like this bright even though it’s night?”
“Um, that’s electricity.”
“Oh, so is it something pegasi hu-” the sound of another shattering window interrupted Rarity.
“We’ll talk later, for now we’ve got to move.” David galloped out of the house and into the streets. He took a quick glance back at his house and then galloped into an alley.
“Um, where are we going?” Pinkie asked. “Oh wait, is it a surprise? Cause if it is don’t tell me.”
“It’s a place I go to with my mates when we want to cool off. Plus it’s seen rough days before, so it’s probably safer than here.” They galloped through London’s streets. But even in the darkness, they could see some buildings aflame. They all kept silent out of fear.
But then they galloped out of the darkened section of town and into a bright street. “Izumi, can you give us some more co-” David turned around, but stopped when he saw Rarity wasn’t among them, “oh crap, where’s Rarity?!”
“She... oh no!” Izumi exclaimed, “Her coat, I should have known!”
“She looked just like she did when Discord tricked her.”
“But the princesses said he wasn’t real!” David was scared now.
“Oh no... what’s a Discord?” Pinkie asked.
“He was this guy on the show who made you all act opposite of your Elements.”
“What a meany! But you said he’s not real? So what do we-”
“Look a pony!” Someone cried out, “they must know where we can get potion!”
“You fool!” cried out another voice, “They’re abominations, you’ll really go with them rather than god!?”
“You’re the fool!” came another voice, “The world is ending and we’ve got one way out, take it!”
“Heathens, all of you!” A gunshot then rang out. The group of ponies tried to locate the shot, but the streets were too chaotic with people either running towards them or somewhere else.
“What?” David asked in concern as the officer batted away a flying bottle with a batton.
“You new ponies are completely disobeying her Majesty’s orders! Hell I can’t believe I’m even sa-” A bullet hit the officer in the arm. The shot didn’t get past his kevlar though, but it still knocked him on the ground. The pony trio ran back into the darkness.
“What do we do now?” Pinkie nervously asked, she had lost the smile that had been on her face this whole time.
“We find Rarity first. Izumi! Do have any way of finding her.”
“I... I don’t know! ” She was speaking in Japanese again, “Damn it! I failed again, oh, I’m a terrible po- ” She stopped. There was something different in the air now, like when Rarity had handed her the Ele- “There!” Her horn glowed as she tried to lock onto the Element’s source. She raced to the head of the group. They darted in and out of the darkened streets. “We’re almost there we just have to- oof!” Izumi bumped into somethings.
“Stay back!” Rarity called out, “It’s my Element why should I have to give it to somepony else.”
“Rarity,” Pinkie pleaded, “don’t say that, you know what the Princess said we had to do.”
“Well the Princess is stupid! I was perfectly fine in Ponyville making my clothes.”
“Rarity, that’s not true, I saw how sore your hooves were getting.” Pinkie started to cry. “You could never make it my parties because you had to make everypony else blankets for the winter. Then Applejack couldn’t make because she had to feed the ponies and and... please just come with us.”
“Never!” Rarity’s horn began to glow. “It’s those other ponies' faults I couldn’t make it to your parties. If I had just been caring about myself I- eee!” Rarity was stunned by all the lights going back on. Izumi’s horn was blazing even more than Rarity’s.
“I’m sorry Miss Rarity, but I can’t let you use any more magic!” Izumi pushed even more of her power into anything electronic. But the electricity was pounding in her brain, yet she knew what had to be done. “Get... her.”
There was a bright flash and then a brief moment of tense silence.“Is...Is everypony alright?” Izumi asked as she lit up the ally with her horn. Rarity was unconscious now and the element was on Izumi’s neck.
“Is she ok?” Pinkie nervously asked.
“I hope,” Izumi said in a nervous tone
“Well let’s not doddle, we’ve got a pu-” David stopped as he saw a man with a gun now in ally.
“You bloody monsters!” He exclaimed, “Causing this mess, I aught to get rid of you and stop this madness!”
“Oh, um, look mister,” Pinkie pleaded, “we’re kinda having a rough night so-” Pinkie was cut of by the man firing his gun into the air.
“Shut up ya monster!” The man aimed his gun at the ponies, but his aim was wobbly.
“Oh hell!” David exclaimed, “the bastard’s drunk!” Just as he said this, the man locked his sights on Rarity’s unconscious form. His finger squeezed on the trigger.
“NO !” Izumi jumped in front of the bullet. There was another bright flash. Izumi expected pain, but none came. The bullet had stopped just in front of Izumi and was held in place by faint blue aura.
“Really dear...” Rarity’s horn was ablaze as she spoke, “you really should be more careful.” The man ran off screaming.
“Miss Rarity? Are you ok?” Izumi nervously asked.
“More than ok, you really did get that element to blaze.” Izumi looked down at the Element to see it glowing blue in the moonlight.
“Guess generosity is a bit easier than laughter,” David commented.
“Aw, don’t get beat up about it,” Pinkie patted David’s shoulder, “I’m sure we’ll figure out how to get it to work.” She then turned over to Izumi. “Nice work with the Element though and on getting your cutie mark.”
“I... I what?!” As Izumi talked the lights began to flicker back on. Two hoof-like lightning bolts could also be seen on Izumi’s flank. They looked like they were shaking each other. But people could also see them now.
“We’ll talk about it later!”
“Right, can you walk?” Izumi asked Rarity.
“I think running would be a better option right now.” Rarity quickly got up and followed David. This time they were able to reach their location in one piece.
“Um, what is it?” Rarity looked up at the sign it read: George and Dragon .
“It’s a pub,” David answered
“What’s a pub?” Pinkie asked.
“It’s a place you can go and get a drink.”
“That sound safe to you?” Izumi asked.
“Hey this place has survived god knows how many world cups, plus it’s the only place where I didn’t get a black eye during New Years.”
“Well I’m thirsty so a drink sounds really good right now!”
David gave Pinkie an odd stare as they approached the door, “Do ponies drink?”
“Of course we do? Doesn’t everything have to drink?”
“No, I meant drink alcho-”
“Ah, my first pony customers!” A cheery voice exclaimed. The pub was dark and filled with people. They were all looking at the new customers now. The voice’s owner had been a slightly rotund man behind the bar.
“Um, hi Don,” David awkwardly waved a hoof in greeting. “Um, you got enough room for a few more?”
“David? Is that you? Blimey! Didn’t expect to see you tonight... then again, I’m guessing school’s canceled with this mess. Well, whatever, of course there’s plenty of room for ya and your friends. Sorry if ya don’t mind me asking, but who is everybody now? Little hard to tell without ya talking.”
“Um, actually two of them are from Equestria and one of them’s from Japan... and,” David looked at the still unconscious mare on his back, “this is my mum.”
“Christ!” Don exclaimed, “My first pony customers and my first native Equestrians!” He poured himself a shot of something and downed it. “Alright everybody, another free round... aw screw it, free drinks for the rest of the night!” The rest of the crowd raised their glasses in cheer and then swarmed on the ponies. Don had to break them up though to give the ponies some room to breathe. “For god’s sakes, have a little decency, you heard her Majesty. Now you treat these ponies with respect, or I’ll throw ya out into the street with the rest of the trash!” Don then turned to David, “Now what can I do for you my boy?”
David had been a little shaken by the crowd’s advancement, but he tried to regain his composure. “T-thanks Don... it’s been a rough couple of days.”
“Don’t need to tell me that. I’ve already had to throw out a bunch of blokes, kept saying ponies were to blame for this whole mess. Idiots, can’t even listen to her Majesty.” Don then turned to Pinkie and Rarity, “Mams, if you don’t mind me asking, this Luna of yours, if she’s a princess than who’s your queen?”
“I don’t think we have one of those,” Pinkie raised a hoof to her muzzle, “Do we have a ‘queen’ Rarity?”
“Perhaps it’s a miscommunication,” Rarity postulated and then looked over at Don, “my good sir, we don’t have a ‘queen’ just our Princesses, maybe our royalty functions a little different than yours.”
“Ya don’t say? Well I’m probably gonna go get my own shot of the juice once I’ve sold out here.”
“What are you going to do then Don?” David asked.
“Well... can’t really pour drinks with hooves, but I’m sure I’ll find something in Equestria.”
“Actually Mr. Don,” Pinkie interrupted, “ponies are pretty good at grabbing things.”
“What do you mean?” Don twiddled his mustache as he asked the question.
“Well... maybe I could show you with a drink. I am kinda thirsty.”
“Sure,” Don poured Pinkie a beer, “as I said they’re on the house.”
“Thanks,” Pinkie said as she somehow clasped the glass of beer, “See, easy as pie.”
“How...” Izumi looked quizzically at Pinkie holding the glass, “how is she doing that?”
“It’s Pinkie,” David replied, “what do you expect?” Then he remembered how he’d reacted to simple food. “Wait! Pinkie I don’t think you sh-” Too late, Pinkie had already downed the beer.
“Whoa... *hiccup* not even AJ’s cider is like that. But it makes you dizzy... ug, you humans have weird dri-” Pinkie passed out on the ground.
“Yep... I’ll definitely need to find something new to do in Equestria.” Don looked down at the passed out pink pony and sighed, “I’m guessing ya won’t be drinking anything hard tonight then?”
“I think some water will do just f-” David stopped his request when he heard his mum mumble in him back. He turned around to look at her. “Mum? You up?”
“David?” she asked softly.
“You ok?” David bent down and let her slide of his back.
“Yes, yes I ha... why are we in a pub?” She looked around at the dark room with the smell of alcohol in the air.
“The house wasn’t safe anymore.”
“Heh,” Don chuckled, “streets aren’t safe anymore either, I’ll probably get into a few fights getting to my drink.”
“About that,” David looked up at Don, “do ya think we could stay here for a bit?”
“Sure, you and your mates have been good customers all the years, except for the Mercury incide-”
“Not in front of my mum!”
“Why? What was this Mercury incident?” Even as a pegasus, David’s mum still carried the same ‘what did you do’ tone that every child feared his parents using.
“It...it’s nothing... um, why don’t you have a drink mum? Being a pony must have made you thirsty.” David looked at Don who passed him another drink. David wrapped his tail around the glass’s handle and gave it to his mum.
“Ok, as soon as I have a drink you’re explaining this to me.” She grabbed the glass with her mouth and downed what she could of it, although a good portion of the beer went on the ground. “*Hiccup* now what is all this Mer... heh, David I got wings now.” David’s mum than hit the floor. The rest of the pub erupted in laughter.
“Now that was a brilliant move,” Don laughed, “you’ve always been good at getting a laugh out of us!”
“I... I gu- holy crap!” David noticed his flank glowing then two glasses clanking together were on them. “Wh-what?”
“Well not the most cultured cutie mark, but a cutie mark none-the-less.” Rarity inspected David’s new mark.
“I... I mean, I just liked coming here to have drink with my mates is all, maybe have a good laugh about silly things we did.” David felt the necklace he was wearing pulsate a bit.
“Well, why don’t I show ya to your rooms? Heh, and people said I was stupid for living in the same place that I worked. I’ll be back in a sec gents.” Don stepped out from behind the bar and pulled out a set a keys from his pocket. “It might be a little cramped.”
“I don’t think we’ll be staying for too long,” David said as he followed Don upstairs. Izumi was levitating both his mum and Pinkie. They all entered a small living room.
“Will this work for ya?”
“I think so Don, I don’t know how, but I’ll pay ya back for this.”
“Oh no problem... just,” he looked over at Rarity, “give me a little help when I get the hooves ok?”
“Certainly,” Rarity replied.
“Well, I get the feeling it’s going to be a long night downstairs, so I’ll see ya when I see ya again.” With that, Don left the ponies alone in his living room.
“Nice fellow,” Rarity commented.
“Yeah,” David said, “there’s a reason this is my favorite pub.” His eyes felt heavy now that he knew he was in a safe spot. He seated himself next to a couch and yawned.
“Streets are certainly a lot more scary than I thought,” Izumi said as she also sat down, using magic had exhausted her as well.
“Eh, they’re a little scary, but that’s just part of the fun.”
“I suppose, but I’m still just getting use to th-” David had passed out. “Ugh, stallions.”
“Now, now,” Rarity chided, “I know it’s not proper gentlecoltery, but we’ve all had a long ni-” Izumi was now asleep as well. “Oh irony, you always have your way with me don’t you?” Rarity looked up at the light in the middle of the room and tried to turn it off, but only succeeded in blowing the light’s bulb. “Oh... um, I think I’ll just take at that as a sign to go to sleep.” She looked over at all the other ponies. “Good night everypony... and thank you Miss Izumi,” She nuzzled the other unicorn a little, “I guess we can all get a little selfish sometimes.” Then all the ponies in the room were out for the night.
The Conversion Bureau: Reality Break
I’m worried. Ok, that’s nothing new with the world ending and all, but right now I was looking up at the night sky and it was freaking me out. I’d thought going outside and just feeling the weather (maybe flying a little) would help me relax, but it didn’t. Looking at the night sky only made me realize how screwed the Earth and the universe currently were.
The stars are going out. I don’t mean like I can’t see them cause the pollution in DC is bad, pony senses can see past minor things like that. I mean the night sky is now getting darker. Two nights ago, I could barely sleep at the rest stop. The stars combined with the moon were like a weaker sun. I really don’t know how anypony never noticed Luna’s handiwork before. Wait, was that real or part of the show? I don’t know anymore.
What I do know is it’s getting darker at night. That scares me. Stars are supposed to be these vast things that can outlive pretty much anything else in the universe. Yet now the big dipper (I think, I was never big on the whole star gazing thing) was missing a star, while other parts of the sky were now just dark patches.
“Ya know, I think everypony else is asleep by now,” came a voice. I jumped into the air a little. I’d thought I’d been alone in the Rose Garden. I turned around to see Dash there. “Heh, haven’t seen a pony jump like that since Pinkie and I pranked Fluttershy.”
“Nice Dash, nice.”
“But it is a pretty good night out. Smooth winds, only a light chill, and little cloud cover.”
“I guess,” I sighed.
“What’s eating you?”
“What do you think? It’s the end of the universe and it’s on my shoulders to stop it.”
“Hey-hey, it’s not just you, remember the other Elements are out there as well.”
“But I don’t even know them.” My bravado had been shaken by seeing the entropy for the first time in the sky. “I mean, I haven’t even gotten this thing to work yet.” I poked at the Element.
“Look,” Dash patted me with a wing, “don’t worry about it. None of us knew Twilight before she came to Ponyville and we still were able to beat Nightmare Moon.”
“But that was you... a pony who’s always been a pony. Hell, you’re the only pegasi to pull of a rainboom.”
“Yeah, but I did it to save Scootaloo.”
“Wait what? I thought you did it to save Rarity.”
“Um,” Dash gave me a confused look, “you know Rarity’s a unicorn right? It’d be a little weird for her to normal be up in the sky.”
‘But, the show I thought...ugh,” I face-hoofed, “darn it, everything is screwy.”
“Listen, maybe that show got some things right and maybe it didn’t. But the Princess tried her best to send a message to everp... everyone about how to act in Equestria and what was the best way to prepare Earth’s Elements.”
“So then what did happen when you first pulled off a rainboom?”
“Heh, you know I’ve told that story so many times even I got a little sick of it.” Dash sat down and I followed. “Scootaloo had been making some really good progress. She could hover and get a few feet off the ground. But she was just using muscle not magic. You probably figured out that flight for pegasi is more than just flapping your wings.”
“Heh, nearly crashed because I couldn’t realize that... but then I heard something call out to me and then I was able to fly perfectly.” That little near-death experience still confused me a little.
“Flight-point, every pegasi experiences it differently. It’s the point where you truly learn what flying is about. Probably how I got my cutie mark. But Scootalloo hadn’t had hers yet. I really shouldn’t have told her the cutie mark part, that just made her want to fly even more. I still remember her waking me up that morning. She’d somehow managed to fly just a few feet below my house. I was pretty impressed with her until she asked for help. He wings were getting tired and there weren’t any clouds nearby for her to rest on. If she could have just flown a little higher.”
“Then her wings just snapped to her sides. She turned into a rock instantly. I’d been inside my house looking at her when she fell. I must have punched a pretty big hole in my house chasing after her. But even with my speed, the gap between us wasn’t closing fast enough and the ground just kept getting closer. I pushed my wings and the air harder than I’d ever had before, it actually hurt to breathe at that point. I had my hoof stretched out to grab her, but it still wasn’t enough. I still remember screaming ‘NO!’ to the ground. Can you believe that, screaming at the ground?”
“Then I had her. Not only that, but I was going faster than I thought possible. I mean, there’d been that time at flight school, but I just thought that was because I’d truly learned how to fly, not because I’d pulled off a rainboom. I didn’t really care though, I was just glad Scootaloo was safe. I don’t even know how much she cried after that. But I told what she did was stupid, but that everypony does stupid things and that next time she could tell me or her parents before she pulled another stunt.”
“Wait,” I looked over at Dash curiously, “Scootaloo has parents?”
“Um yeah, doesn’t everypony?”
“Yeah, nevermind... no such thing as a stupid question just stupid ponies... weird to say it that way.”
“What do you mean?”
“It just that ever since this all started I’ve been acting more and more like a pony and less like a person. At first I was scared, but then I saw everypony else talking like that and being happy and I guess I just went along with it.”
“You wanted to be with your friends.”
“I didn’t want to be alone.” The necklace pulsated a little. “I was terrified when this first happened, that I was the only pony in a human world, that I couldn’t even relate to my own species anymore. But my friends... my family, they stuck by me. They all deserve this more than I do.” I twisted the lightning bolt jewel a little. “Now I have duty to them and I’m even more scared now.”
“Scared of what?”
“That I’ll fail. That I’ll be the one to ruin everything, what if I can’t get the Element to work, or what if I can’t get along with everypony else? I could make one small mistake and everything is do-” The jewel flashed radiantly for a second and then the flash cooled down, but the jewel still glowed red in the night.
“I think you got your answer right there.” Dash friendly hoofed me. “You were pulling off a pretty good Twilight impression though.”
“But I di-” before I had time to answer I saw a light go on in the White House. It was from my family’s room. “Thanks Dash, I think that really helped. But I think my perspective just got messed up.” Yeah, somehow my parents and sister now being a pony seemed like a much bigger issue than the world ending. I have a weird mind.
I left Dash behind and entered the White House. I decided that knocking on their window wouldn’t be the best way of introducing my family to being ponies. I went with the much simpler knock on the door. “Mom, dad? You ok in there?”
“Oh John,” mom called out, “you’re here, do you think you could help with the hooves?” I twisted the knob with a wing and opened the door. What in the name of Celestia have I done? This is it, I don’t care if Doc Brown comes out of a Tardis yelling “I was frozen today!” nothing will top how weird this was. Mom was probably the most normal looking of all of them: a tan coat, pink eyes and a black curly mane. Oh and wings. “Dad wants to send some pictures with his ipad to his sisters.”
“You’re kidding, I... ugh, nevermind, how are the hooves treating you?” Ok, correction, seeing my mom with four legs was weird. Two would have been weird enough. She’d lost her right leg in a car accident in the 80’s. Ya know growing up with her having a prosthetic kinda dulled my senses about it. Now though? Four legs, I don’t even... “How’s the leg treating ya?”
“Actually,” she tapped the ground with her right hindleg, “I think I’m having it a little easier than those two are.” She looked over at my sister and my dad.
“J-john,” Rachel was shaking like a leaf while trying to walk, “I am so gonna get you for- oof!” She fell on the ground.
“As I said before Rachel, you needed wings to catch me. Ya can’t even pull off a cloudwalker spell on me now.” Ok, god, Celestia, Luna, or whoever must like me a little. I admit I’d always wanted payback for my sister being immature and causing me to pull out my hair. I think I got my wish. Her coat was a little lighter than mine, while her mane was a dulled yellow. Best part: no wings or a horn. “Don’t worry,” I teased, “Earth Ponies have all the fun.”
“S-shut up John! Mom tell him I want a horn or wings!”
“Can’t help ya sis,” I shrugged my wings as I spoke, “I’m not in charge of what you are. I think you make a nice little pony though.”
“F*&K you John!”
“Language!” Dad called out. “John ignore her and help me with this.” Dad was fiddling with his ipad but he couldn’t get past the password screen.
“Don’t you want to learn how to walk first? Maybe get used to the horn?” Dad was now a black unicorn with a white mane. I thought it was fitting: he kinda looked like he was in a suit. “Besides, who knows if that thing will even survive in Equestria.”
“What do you mean?”
“You tell me,” I prodded his horn with a hoof. “Feel anything wrong with the air?”
“Well that buzzing has been quite annoying ever since I woke up, that a normal part of being a pony?”
“For unicorns, yes. I think electricity is something that really doesn’t mesh well with magic. So I get the distinct feeling they’re not going to have outlets in Equestria.”
“Oh,” dad looked a little hurt, “how am I going to talk to my clients then?”
“Oh for...” I face-hoofed, “dad, I don’t think clients really matter now.”
“What about your aunts? Or your grandmother?”
“If you’re that concerned about them teleport to them.”
“I can do that?”
“I think... look I’m not a unicorn I’m a pegasus. I’m sure once Equestria is here there’ll be somepony to help you out.”
“What about walking?” Mom asked.
“I think I can help a little with that.” Aren’t parents supposed to teach their kids how to walk? “But first,” I flashed an evil smile my sister, “say you’re sorry.”
“For what, asshole?”
“One for that, two for my car, and three every other nasty thing you’ve said to me for the past fifteen years.” I’m so getting sent to the moon for this, but I don’t care.
“Screw you!”
“Now Rachel, please show a little maturity, the price of teaching you to walk is only two little words.”
She mumbled something. Oh, I’m so playing this game . “Couldn’t quite hear that.” She mumbled a little louder. Yeah, I knew what she was saying, but oh man, I loved having the ball in my court. “Just a little louder.”
“I’m sorry! Guh!” The little ornamental plant in the room suddenly bloomed.
“There, see?” I tried to hide my shock at the plant. “You even used Earth magic a little.”
“What?” Rachel hadn’t noticed the plant yet.
“Nothing,” I didn’t want Rachel to get wise and try anything sneaky on me while I was on the ground. If she could find a way to get back at me, she would. “Walking is hard at first, but it gets easier. Just close your eyes and think you’re human again, all of you.” I looked around at my family. “Think about walking normally and you’ll be fine.”
“But the front hooves,” dad complained, “they’re kinda like arms, it’s a little confusing.”
“Yeah, we’ll deal with it later, for now just think about walking like you normally would.”
“This is stupid,” Rachel complained.
“Ah-ah-ah,” I wiggled a hoof in her direction, “I’m the only pony in this room who can walk and unless you want a night full of bruises I suggest you listen to me. Now just close your eyes and walk like you did before you changed.
“Er, I’m so getting you for this.” She closed her eyes and started taking tentative steps. Mom and dad did the same.
“Well,” dad talked as he walked, “it’s not that bad once you-oof!” He fell down. Unfortunately with her closed eyes, Rachel couldn’t see him, so she joined him on the ground.
“Dad you idiot!” She cussed at my dad as they tried to untangle their hooves.
“What?” Mom called out, her eyes were still closed, “What happened? Did somepony fa- oh my.” I was laughing way too hard to call mom out on her ponism. This was too rich for me. I’d always thought my family was an insane mess, but now I was certain of it.
~~~
“My god, I haven’t laughed that hard since Jackass.” Rachel was covered in bruises. There were two holes in the wall from where dad had run into it. Yet mom was relatively fine, she’d taken a few spills, but she did that a lot as a human too. Ditzy might be a good new name for he- No! Don’t think that! Ugh, next I’ll be calling myself S-. I stopped thinking, I was tired and it wasn’t helping my brain. “Well I think you’ve done enough damage for the night, why don’t we all get some sleep?”
“One last thing John,” dad spoke up, “is there something on my head? Aside from the horn.”
“Well you got a lot of your hair back... although it is white now.”
“What?”
“Wait, have any of you actually looked in a mirror?”
“Well we tried honey,” mom said, “but we couldn’t get the door open.” She looked over at the closed bathroom. I walked over and easily used a wing to open it for them. “Oh, you can use wings like that?”
“They’re your wings, use them however you want.”
“Thanks John,” dad said as he entered the restroom, “oh, um, is using the toilet different now?”
I could have probably taken on Dash at the speed I left the room. “That is your own damn problem!” I yelled down the hallway, “See ya in the morning, don’t flood the place!” I quickly returned to my own room and curled under the covers. I prayed for a night without dreams or nightmares.
~~~
The next morning wasn’t that good. It was pretty early when I got up (the sun got in my eyes) so until it was a more reasonable hour for everypony else to be up, I decided to watch some TV. Every channel and I mean every channel was discussing ponification. Out of curiosity, I checked the HUB; there was a marathon of MLP going on, but it now had analysts discussing it on the sides of the screen. I noticed two of the analysts were ponies now. The show had essentially become the survival guide of humanity.
Then I switched to a news station. The anchors looked like a mess, anchors never look like that. Then again, morning news was usually pre-taped not live. The news wasn’t pretty, even with all the security forces deployed, there had still been a massive amount of violence in the night. Riots had occurred in nearly every major city. Chicago’s City Hall had been set on fire along with all the potion that was inside it. I really hoped Celestia had been true in her promise to send more potion. The Windy City would need it.
However, the biggest issue was unicorns. Thank everything holy I don’t have a horn. Seriously, they’re pretty much the ultimate sign that Earth is not designed for ponies... or at least modern Earth isn’t. Aside from the riots, half of the U.S.’s major cities had lost power last night. But New Orleans was the big talk on the news. Apparently a good majority of the first wave of converts there had become unicorns.
Then all hell had broken loose, aside from the power outage, other magic had been performed by the new ponies. I thought I was looking at Katrina footage when I saw New Orlean’s City Hall. Trees were uprooted, fences were twisted in odd forms, and parts of the building had either been blown out or teleported away. The areas where stuff had been teleported looked the oddest, like somepony had just scooped pieces of brick and mortar away. I couldn’t see inside the building that well though due to the line of National Guardsmen that encircled the building, save for one guarded checkpoint.
That was where most the the civilians were. I was sure that if the guards didn’t have their guns fully ready, it’d be a riot. I imagined most of the capitol buildings looked like that right now. But what really creeped me out about the live feed were the people dressed in pure white robes. Aside from the clothing they stood out because they weren’t fidgety or panicked like the other people were. Religious cults always freaked me out and now it was their heyday. I wondered what Biblical BS they’d used to tie it all together.
Just as I was starting to think about how odd of an apocalypse I was in, there was a knock at my door. I opened it to see Dash waiting outside. “Hey, I think we’re gonna need to move soon.”
“Why?”
“Either Twilight or Rarity just got to the meetup point.”
“Where?”
“It’s the closest landpoint to where Equestria’s gonna be, somewhere near that big ocean.”
“The Pacific.” Shoot! That's gonna take a while.
“Yeah, it’s somewhere close to there but... ah, just come with me.”
“We’re leaving right now?” I looked down the hallway at the rooms my friends and family were in. I noticed that a potted plant was floating outside of Sybil and Dawn’s room. I was just glad the power had held out here at least.
“Not right right now, but we gotta go soon, for now just go outside and see if you can tell where it is.”
We quietly walked through the White House until we came to a door to the outside. There was an agent there, but he let us pass. If I didn’t have a permanent coat, the 43.569 temperature would have been a little chilly, but now I just felt it along with the the humidity, the chance of snow, and... the honesty? It was faint, but yeah, there was a feeling of honesty in the air. There were two other even fainter yet similar feelings in the air as well. “What the heck is that?” I asked Dash.
“I think you can guess.” She poked the Element that was around my neck.
“Geez those ponies work fast.” I searched the air again and this time I specifically felt out the honest feeling in the air. I couldn’t get an exact read on its origin, but I knew the city it was in. “San Diego.”
“What?” Dash looked at me like I was speaking gibberish.
“It’s a city on the west coast, I’ve been there a few times. Heh guess we lucked out o- what’s up with your mane?” In the early morning sun I could see that Dash’s mane didn’t look as vibrant as before.
“Don’t worry about it, it’s just a little thing from being here, it’ll clear up once I’m back home. Besides,” Dash flipped her hair back, “it makes me look a little like Daring Doo.”
Ok, whatever way information on Equestria got sent here, it must have been random. But I just laughed at the oddity of everything. “Ha-ha, oh man, Dash I’m sorry, but if I ever get the chance, I’m showing you Raiders .”
“What?”
“Think Daring Doo, but human and a guy.”
“A guy?” Dash’s wings popped out. I think my eyes must have nearly exploded seeing that.
“You... you didn’t just...”
“I...” Dash blushed (ok I really need to make a list of all the weird things I’ve seen in the past week and a half), “I just like the books ok.”
“Ya know,” the awkward level was rising, “I’d better go tell everypony I’m about to go. Plus I should probably get something to eat before we leave.” I turned around to see the President standing there.
“Breakfast can be arranged for everyone, but first we need to discuss something. Could both of you follow me?” Dash and I both followed him to the Oval Office. We all sat down and he looked at us with a very serious tone. “Have either of you heard anything about what happened last night?”
“It’s chaotic,” I quivered a little, it would take a chainsaw to cut the tension in the room, “but it’s the end of the world. Isn’t rioting sort of expected?”
“It is, but the end of the world also means no more risks of retaliation. Our units in the Middle East are now under heavy fire and most of the capitol buildings in Middle-Eastern states have been devastated by suicide bombers.”
“How is Israel doing?” I may have never been there, but it was my religion’s homeland after all.
“It’s receiving heavy firing from its neighbor and Jerusalem and Tel Aviv have lost power.” Crap. “We’ve also received reports of in-fighting between the orthodox and other religious fractions over ponification.”
“Damn!” This time I cussed out loud.
“But our major concern is what hasn’t been in the news.” The dread in the room increased. “North Korea and Iran are making threats. We’ve had our troops advance in both locations, but only to weapon locations that we know of.”
“You actually went into the North?” Last president I ever expected to do that.
“If the U.S.’s enemies are willing to make their last gamble than so are we. We can’t allow violence to spread anymore than it already has.”
“Um, so what exactly is going on?” Dash asked.
“Everypony with a weapon wants to fire it one last time,” I was once more scared out of my mind.
“That doesn’t sound good.” Even Dash seemed to have lost a little of her confidence.
“But for now areas areas are secure if not very hostile,” Obama explained.
“The Princess might be able to help,” Dash conjectured.
“Do you have a way to contact her?”
“Outside of ponies getting cutie marks she didn’t say so and I’m not sure waiting on blank flanks would be a good idea.”
“Would she be able to come here if Equestria was in our realm.”
“That’s probably what she wants.”
“Then lets head out!” My stomach grumbled in disagreement, “Um, maybe after breakfast.”
~~~
“So which one of you was it that broke, um, everything?” Nate asked Sybil and Dawn. The both had embarrassed looks on their faces.
“Dawn broke the TV and the lights.”
“But Sybil broke the beds and the table.”
“Ya know, maybe I did luck out being an Earth Pony,” Nate postulated.
“Heh,” I laughed as a popped a croissant in my mouth. Ugh, these things are way too buttery now, I should have just gone with toast . “Amen to that Nate.”
“Hey, I said I didn’t want a horn. I said nothing about wings.”
“No, see look at it this way,” Iron wildly gesticulated with his hooves while he talked, “I’ll admit Earth Ponies are boring in the show, but that’s only cause it didn’t show how awesome earth was. Seriously, after breakfast go out onto the lawn or something, it’ll blow your mind.”
“I guess. By the way, was something up with the sheets here or was that just me?”
“Well, see it was at least seventy-five percent silk and the rest was cotton.”
“Oh, ok, geez this is weird.”
“Hey,” Sybil said, “at least you have to touch something in order for it to fry your mind. Do you know how many phones, lights and other damn electronics were going off last night?”
“Over 9000?” I joked. Sybil levitated a plastic cup of creamer and lobbed it at me. I grabbed a napkin and rubbed it off. “Ok-ok stupid, but I couldn’t res- what are you all looking at?” Everypony had an odd expression on their face.
“John that’s awesome!” Summer seemed very excited about something. “How are you doing that?”
“Pinkie Pie be damned,” Iron said as he also looked on in amazement.
“What? Oh crap,” I crossed my eyes and looked up at my forehead, “it’s not a horn, oh please god, don’t let it be a horn!”
“Um, John,” Dawn pointed a hoof that signaled me to look down, “look at your hoof.”
“My hoof? What i-” I was holding a napkin. I don’t mean it was draped over my hoof. I’d somehow picked it up, held it with enough force to bring it to my and wipe off the creamer. “What the buck!?” The napkin instantly slipped from my hoof. “How in name of everything holy did I do that?!” My fears about alicorn status returned, I had to have used some type of magic to do that. “I’m still just a pegaus right?”
“Ya look that way to me,” Dan commented.
“I don’t know what you’re worrying about,” Dash spoke up as the voice of reason, “ponies do that all the time. You really haven’t picked up anything yet?” She then bit into a blueberry muffin.
“Um, Rainbow,” Dan said in a flustered voice, “thing is Earth’s ponies just have hooves to walk with and on the show... well, it’s kinda hard to say what the show got right and wrong anymore.”
“See Michael,” mom said to my dad as they stumbled into the room, my sister wasn’t with them, “we should have seen the show more, John’s always onto something.”
“I don’t think I was quite onto the apocalypse,” I said as I turned around from the table (we all were standing to eat, human chairs didn’t quite work for anypony). “But life is weird, very very weird about that sort of stuff.” I walked over to them and gave them both a nuzzle (hugs, while I’d seen them possible, usually ended with everypony on the ground) “Sleep well?”
“I did,” mom replied, “but dad and Rachel were both complaining about stuff.”
“Where is Rachel anyways?”
“Trying to call her friends or something, I told her it’d be impossible with hooves and that she should just come with us to breakfast. We could smell it from down the hall and oh my goodness that stuff smells good.”
“Oh crap,” a look of horror grew on my face, “you haven’t eaten yet.”
“What’s wrong with eating?” Dad asked.
“Yeah John,” Dawn teased, “what’s the matter with eating? It’s really good.”
“It certainly smells good,” mom chimed in.
“Ok,” I gave my parents a “brace yourselves” face, “look, food, even the most basic stuff, is now pure awesome and when you first try it,” I turned back over at my friends and gave them and “I hate you so much right now look”, “you kinda foodgasm.”
“You do?” Dash asked. “Lucky, everything here tastes kinda bland to me, no offense.”
“Wait!” Iron was excited again, “stuff tastes bland here? Ah, that means food tastes even better in Equestria.”
“Um,” Dash looked at Iron’s outburst with puzzlement, “he ok?”
“For the love of Celestia,” I sighed, “don’t ever let him get near Pinkie. I think the world might explode twice.” I noticed my wings were twiching again, I hadn’t really flown since Tuesday and it was Thursday now.
The twitching hadn’t gotten past Dash. She chuckled a little, “Just like a foal, but nothing wrong with wanting some air.”
“I guess, I’m pretty much done with breakfast so I’m ready whenever you are.”
“I like your spirit!” Dash walked over to us and hoofed me lightly, “Ya know, once we’re in Equestria we should really see how well you can fly.”
“Uh-huh, um, that will probably end with me feeling like a floating rock. You’d probably kick my flank in the sky from here to Kingdom Come.”
“Aw, it’ll just be for teaching. I get the feeling a lot of ponies are gonna need some flying advice.”
“Me!” Dan and Summer simultaneously said.
“Alright, well we’d better get crackin on getting Equestria then.”
“Um John,” mom looked at me with the same eyes she gave me when I went to college, “where are you going?”
“San Diego.”
“San Diego?!” Dad replied in shock, “But we haven’t booked you a flight or anything.”
“Ha!” I laughed hard as I stretched out my wings, “Ya know what dad, TSA be damned, I’m my own bucking plane now!”
“Hmm, wished I’d gotten wings now, will horns go off in security gates?” I facehoofed at dad’s comment.
“Dad, first, no airports in Equestria, I think,” I looked over at Dash, “right?”
“Most I saw were the Princess’s chariot and balloons, but both were pretty rare.”
“Ok thanks. Second, teleportation, remember? Dawn?” I looked over at my unicorn friend, “How’d that treat ya?”
“Weird, I felt dizzy for an hour after that, plus it takes a lot out of you.”
“How do you do it?” Dad was curious about his newfound power.
“You just focus on a place or a person you want to go to and you get around whatever your target was.”
“Hmm,” dad closed his eyes and then I saw a black aura cover his horn, “I was worried about the dogs.”
“Um, dad, maybe you should do that outsi-” Too late, the electrical chandelier over the breakfast table popped a fuse and then the tablecloth lifted up along with all the leftover food that was on it. I knew stuff was about to go flying, namely Dash and myself. “Well you know, great breakfast, but I’ve got places to be and alternate realities to summon.” I spoke fast as I moved over to the door that led outside. I stopped by Summer though, “Oh and sorry about the mess.” I kissed her on the cheek and then left through the door.
“Wait John, don’t stick us with this me-” Dash and I were gone. But even as I flew into the sky, I could still hear the shattering of plates.
Sweet Celestia. This is flight, I mean real flight. Yeah, I’d flown at the rest stop, but that had just been one little area. But now I was soaring quickly over the Eastern half of the U.S. and it felt more awesome than you could possibly imagine. Just seeing the Earth so far below was incredible, you’d think it’d be terrifying to be that high up, but it’s really nice. You’re just riding along the air currents getting the best view of the world.
It would have been perfect if the news didn’t keep rattling in my head. The whole world was a cornered animal right now and parts of it were choosing fight rather than flight (they just didn’t know what they were missing). Unfortunately, that fight part meant somepony could launch the bomb. Then somepony else would launch the bomb and the- “You ok?” Dash interrupted my thoughts.
“Yeah, just a little worried about the news is all.”
“Eh, so somepony wasn’t happy, doesn’t really matter. The Princess said all the really advanced stuff’ll just go poof.”
“I guess, but what if something gets launched before then? Lots of people and ponies could get hurt, hell, that already happened last night.” My concern grew deeper. “What if somepony died? What if it’s because I said something wrong? What i-”
“Geez,” Dash interrupted, “you could give Twilight a run for her money as biggest worrier. Look, nopony said this would be easy, but you have to think for everypony not just single ones. I know it’s hard knowing that some might get hurt, but it beats everypony suffering... like back home.”
“Oh.” I shut up and we flew awkwardly for a while. But then something Dash said hit me again. “Hey Dash?”
“Yeah?”
“You said advanced stuff’ll go poof in Equestria right, what about books?”
“I think books should be fine, I mean it’s just paper, why’d ya ask?”
“Well there’s this one comic I like and I was really distressed since I wouldn’t be able to keep it in Equestria. Although the author’ll probably never finish now, so it’s a Catch-22 either way.”
“A catch what?”
“Yeah guess it wouldn’t make sense for a pony to know that. It’s a phrase that comes from this book where a soldier is screwed whether he stays in the army or leaves it. That’s a Catche-22: you can’t win that situation.”
“Sounds lame... but what’s this comic about?” Huh, guess Dash really did turn into an egghead.
“You sure you want to know? Given circumstances, it’ll probably never get an ending.”
“Aw come on, I already read all the fun books at Twilight’s place, I don’t wanna have to read magical physics books. Plus, I totally want a souvenir to take home.”
“Fine,” I relented as I admired the full 180 reality had pulled on me: a once-human getting a pony into manga, another check on the weird list. “So it’s this story called One Piece and it’s about a group of pirates who...”
~~~
It had to have been around three o’clock now. My jaw was sore from all the talking and my wings weren’t in much better shape either. “So you really think this mermaid princess is like Fluttershy?” Dash asked, she was now completely enamored with the series and she hadn’t even read it yet (I love being an awesome fan).
“Pink hair, yellow clothing, more innocent then, well, a baby bunny, yet tough when she needs to be.”
“Ok, that is a little creepy. But this stuff sound so awesome! But how come those people that lived in the sky had wings but couldn’t use them?”
“Ya know, I don’t really know, but they were pretty small wings, realistically they couldn’t have supported their weight.” Irony must have wanted to slug me for saying that as we flew. We were now probably over Kansas or Missouri. My stomach let out a loud grumble.
“Wanna go grab some grub and talk about this more? Plus, I totally want to hear about other manga, this stuff sounds awesome." Oh my god, I made Dash a fangirl... that’s got to be an achievement in some form.
“Sure sounds good.” We went a little lower to the ground to get a better view of the cities and fields below us. We actually came upon a city pretty fast, but I saw smoke and flames so I decided it might not be safe. So we flew some more, scouting for a place to eat.
Thank god for roadside diners. Yeah most of the stuff there could probably kill a grown man, but I mean, hashbrowns and maybe some corn couldn’t hurt. “That look like a good place?” I pointed a hoof at the diner that stood alone on a stretch a freeway, its only accompaniment was vast fields of green and a city I could barely see on the horizon.
“Sure,” Dash dove lower and I followed. We touched down on the ground and trotted up to the diner’s door. “Ya think they have hay fries?”
“Hay fries? What i-”
“Damn,” a drawl voice interrupted me, “ya’ll already back from town? Didn’t expect to see pony folks for a while.” The voices owner was a skinny man standing behind the diners counter. He looked absolutely amazed to see us, not that I could really blame him.
“Um, we’re a bit further than that,” I awkwardly replied, “you wouldn’t happen to have anything for ponies to eat do ya?”
“Sure do, why my pappy raised a few horses, so I know what’s good for them. Take a seat wherever ya want.” He gestured to the empty diner, Dash and I were his only customers. He disappeared to the back to place our order.
“See,” Dash looked over at where the man had disappeared to, “I’m sure most people are like that. Wonder why he didn’t go to town yet if he’s so happy about ponies.”
“Yeah, that is a little odd,” if there was one way you could tell I was my dad’s son it was the suspicion we both had about most things. “Let’s just get our food and be on our way.”
Soon, the man returned with our food and for a diner in the middle of nowhere it looked pretty good. Maybe it was because it was simple, just some fried eggs and grits. “Ya know,” Dash talked as she munched on her food, “it may be a little weird to eat eggs this late, but it’s still pretty good.”
“Oh yes,” the man replied as we both dug into the food, “anything for a messenger of the lord and a first convert.”
“Whoa-whoa,” the man’s words alarmed me, “look we’re just ponies, no-” I hit the table right before Dash did. The world went dark on me.
~~~
The first thing I noticed was the smell of incense like I was in a church or somet- “Oh crap!” I immediately sat up and looked around. I was at the front of a church in a large throne-like chair. I quickly looked around for Dash and saw she was next to me in a similar chair.
“Your eminence,” a tall man in a white robe walked up to me. I noticed the church was filled with people wearing the white robes. “We are glad you are awake, we were worried brother Keane had been too rough with you. Do not worry, he is being dealt with as we speak.”
“Where...” I was scared, I had to get Dash and get out of here, “where am I?”
“Do not be frightened your eminence, we have been preparing for this day for a long time. None of us could have expected ponies to be messengers of the lord, but he works in mysterious ways.”
“T-that’s nice and all, but I... I have places to be.”
“But your eminence,” the priest pleaded, “we need you and the lord’s messenger to guide us to the Kingdom of Heaven. Plus you can help show the dissidents the light.”
“Dissidents?” Ok now I was freaking out, that word just sounded wrong.
“Here, once you and her holiness talk to them, they’ll understand.” The man turned around to face the congregation. “Bring them out!”
From behind one of the side doors a group of men and women came out. They were chained and looked like they had been beaten. They were led by another robed man. “Ya damn freaks!” A chained men with a bald head yelled. “Ya sold your souls ta that satanic she-beast!”
The priest quickly walked over to the prisoner and smacked him across the face. “How dare you defame a archangel! You would be burning in the pit right now if it wasn’t for our compassion!”
“Please!” Another man sobbed, “Just let me see my children! I’ll do whatever you want, just don’t hurt them.”
The priest walked over and spoke gently to the sobbing man, “Shhh, your children have already become converts. All children are innocent in the eyes of the lord. Won’t you become our brother and join them in the future paradise?”
“Don’t do it the Mark!” The bald man yelled at the sobbing man. “It’s a trick by the devil himself! He’s taken your family’s souls, don’t let him take yours too!”
“I...” Mark choked on his words, “I’d rather burn eternally with my family than be separated from them.” As he said the words a robed woman walked over carrying a chalice and a small cup. I could clearly see the purple liquid inside the chalice.
“Do not worry brother Mark,” the priest was undoing Mark’s handcuffs, “eternal bliss is only a drink away.” As he spoke, the woman poured the potion into the smaller cup and handed to to the priest. “Now just drink and embrace the love of god.” Mark passed out and turned chalk white.
I felt the eggs and grits trying to claw up my throat. By this point Dash was beginning to stir as well. I didn’t notice that her coat was now a little duller as well. “Dash! Dash!” I tried to control my panic as much as a I could while whispering to her.
“Ugh, wa... what?” She groggily looked up.
“Trouble, really big trou-”
“Your holiness!” Dash’s awakening hadn’t gotten past the priest either. “It is an honor to have you here!” He grabbed the chalice from the woman and walked back over to us. When he came to the head of the church just a few feet away from us he stopped. “Brothers, sisters! For years we have awaited the end of days when the Lord would rain his vengeance upon mankind. Now that time has come. Let all who are with us join us in this festive event!” All members of the congregation pulled out cups filled with potion. In the back, the members holding the prisoners braced were about to force the prisoners to drink the potion.
While the priest was making his speech I turned over to Dash. “We gotta move, now!”
“No kidding, this guy creeps me out.”
“Ok I think I’ve got a-”
“Now!” The priest faced us again and raised the chalice to us. “Let us receive the blessing of our lo-”
“Buck it!” I yelled in a panic. I jumped up and kicked the chalice right into the priest’s face. It instantly turned to white as he screamed, but then his mouth melted into his face. I galloped and then crashed through the stained glass window. Dash followed close behind. We flew and flew at top speed away from the horrible nightmare we’d just witnessed. It was night now, but the moon was beginning to dip by the time we finally stopped and rested on the ground.
“What,” Dash’s voice was shaky, “what was that?”
“A cult.” The vision of the priest’s face melting still haunted me.
“A what?”
“It... it this thing where a bunch of people have some crazy idea and get other people to- oh god!” My stomach finally gave out and I puked on the roadside. “Just trust me Dash, a cult is never a good thing.”
“You ok?”
“I don’t think I’ve been ok for a while... but... but it’s not important right now. Let’s just get to San Diego. I don’t want to stop anymore.
“Me neither.” With that both Dash and I took to the sky again. It was going to be a long trip.
The Conversion Bureau: Reality Break
Jen stared in shock at the pony in front of her. The mare had a purple coat and a mane made of multiple hues of lavender and atop said mane rested a tiara with a star-like jewel in the middle. There was only one pony Jen knew who could wield the Element of magic. “T-t-twilight!”
“Could you maybe tone it down a little? You’re a little loud.”
“I, um...” Jen didn’t know how to reply, “s-s-sorry.” Oh lord, I’m talking to Twilight Sparkle, the Twilight Sparkle, what the buck?!
“It’s perfectly fine,” Twilight calmly replied, “I understand, this must be very odd for you. But don’t worry, we’re here to help.”
“But you... I... oh geez,” Jen was starting to feel overloaded, luckily her dad stepped in to assist her.
“Nice to meet you Miss um...” stopped trotting over to Twilight and tried to remember her name.
“Twilight,” Twilight held out a hoof, “Twilight Sparkle, nice to meet you.”
“Ah,” Jen’s dad said as he awkwardly shook Twilight’s hoof, “well nice to meet you Miss Sparkle. Um, is there anything we can do for you?”
“Actually,” Twilight turned back over to Jen, “I need your help.” A purple glow surrounded the tiara as it levitated off Twilight's head and floated between her and Jen. “I need you to use this.” Twilight had a pleading look on her face.
“But... but that’s...” Jen couldn’t believe what was happening, not only was Twilight in her house, but she was asking her to use the Element of magic.
“Yes, the Element of magic. Princess Celestia told me all about the connection our universe has to yours, so I know you probably know about the difficulties this Element possess.”
“I...” Jen touched the tiara and it lost its lavender glow as it fell down her hoof, “I have to use this with the other ponies?”
“Correct.”
“But I don’t even know them,” Jen was getting nervous now. Why? Why do I have to do this? I’m just a student, I’m not even in college yet! Oh... oh crap, what... what if I can’t do it?
“Don’t worry, when I activated the Element, I barely knew anypony either. If the Princess was willing to put faith in you than so am I.”
“I...” A tan aura surrounded the tiara, “I’ll try.” Jen clumsily levitated the tiara onto her head as many fears pulsated in her mind.
“Great,” Twilight smiled, “we’re right on schedule then.”
“Schedule?”
“As soon as the Princess told us her plans, I set out to make the most flexible yet orderly schedule I could to facilitate you mastering the element and gathering everypony else together.”
“Um,” Jen awkwardly looked at Twilight, “the show really got you down well I think.”
“Well I’m flattered, but don’t confuse me with a fictional pony, I’m sure there must have been somethings the show didn’t get right about me.”
“Do you really have a smarty pants doll?”
“Sorry-sorry!” Jen pleaded. Oh god I embarrassed Twilight, crap crap crap! “I mean, um, like the show here is usually considered really girly to watch! Like if it wasn’t for my mates I’d never watch it!” Jen was babbling and only making an awkward situation more awkward. Like any good parents, Jen’s just stood there wondering just what the hay their daughter was talking about.
“I’m gonna go boil up so tea,” Jen’s mom whispered to Jen’s dad.
“That’d probably be best, watch the wings though,” he replied. Jen’s parents snuck into the kitchen and started getting some tea and food ready.
“So not everypo- everyone,” Twilight corrected herself, “watches our show?”
“Well I mean nopony except little girls watched in when I was little,” Jen replied “ but something about this new series I think just clicked.”
“Hmm,” Twilight brought a hoof to her muzzle as she thought deeply about the matter, “maybe that has something to do with the Elements. Our activation of them might have shortened the gap between our universe and yours. Plus, if you account Rainbow Dash’s first rainboom, that could have also affected the gap.”
“How old are you all anyways?”
“Well, based on what the Princess told me about Earth, and given your heliocentric solar system and self-revolving planet, I would guess I’d be around thirty of your Earth years.”
“Ha! Mike is so gonna owe me a coke!”
“What?” Twilight gave Jen an odd look.
“Oh, um, sorry, it’s just that my mates and I had this really big fight over how old you all were and I said you all had to be older than twenty. But my mate Mike said you were all probably eighteen or something.”
“I see,” Twilight had a quizzical expression on her face, “I assume ‘mate’ means friend?”
“Oh yeah, guess ponies don’t talk like Australians... actually, I know you spoke English in the show, but that’s pretty amazing that you can speak it in reality as well.”
“Oh no no no,” Twilight waved a hoof in front of Jen, “I’m still speaking Equestrian, you’re just hearing ‘English.’”
“What?”
“The know-it-all spell, the Princess specifically designed it for this event. It allows those under its influence to understand, and for all purposes, ‘talk’ in whatever language is required to get a point across.”
“Wow, I didn’t know magic was this awesome!” Jen was completely enamored.
“Excuse me?”
“Ok, well, when I watched the show I always thought pegasi were cool and athletic like I was, but unicorns were smart and mature. I...I guess they were like what I wanted to be.”
“I don’t quite understand.”
“I was always adventurous and outgoing, but I knew that to succeed in life I had to be collected and intellectual. I thought being that way might help me figure out what I was good at.”
“Hmm, interesting, I wonder if desires and dreams affect what type of pony a human becomes.”
“Oh, that’s one other thing... how do you get a cutie mark?”
“Well if you know what a cutie mark is then you probably know how to get one too. You just need to figure out what you’re good at.”
“But how?”
Twilight giggled a little, but then looked embarrassed again, “Sorry, it’s just you sounded a lot like a certain trio of fillies I know. But for now, don’t worry about your cutie mark, you seem like a good mare with some fun, um, ‘mates.’ Who know, maybe you’ll earn your mark getting the Element to work.”
“Really?” Jen was excited now.
“Yep, we’ve probably got some time until the other seeds are ready, so I’ll even help you with some basic magic.”
“Oh! Thank you! Thank you!” Jen jumped up and down in excitement
“Jen, calm down,” her mom had trotted back into the room, “I think you’ve done a enough damage to the room already.” The room was actually quite a mess: the telly was broken, the couch was slightly bent in half, a chair was sticking out of the wall and broken glass littered the floor.
“Sorry mom.” Jen looked at her mom apologetically.
“It’s fine, for now let’s get some food.”
Twilight’s stomach grumbled in response to the offer, “Oh...heh-heh, guess trans-dimensional travel takes a lot out of you.”
~~~
David was worried about Pinkie. Ok she had a massive hangover, but that wasn’t what really worried him. It was that her colors were fading. “You’re sure you’re not feeling grumpy?”
“No, but...” Pinkie brought a hoof to her head, “I don’t think human drinks are that fun, they make your head feel like it’s exploding.”
“Just keep drinking your water and it’ll pass. Sorry, I should have been more careful.”
“Really dear,” Rarity patted David, “it’s not your fault, who would have known that ponies weren’t good with um... what was it called again?”
“Alcohol,” David said, but then he stomped a hoof to the ground. “Shoot!”
“What?” Izumi asked.
“I can’t have a good drink with my mates anymore.”
“You actually like getting head-explosions?” Pinkie gave David a very confused look.
“Well for humans, a few drinks just makes you a little dizzy and for me a little happier. It’s a way to bond with my mates and forget about life’s troubles for a little.”
“Oh,” Rarity’s eyes alighted, “Pinkie, it’s somewhat like when I go to the spa with Fluttershy.”
“Your head explodes when you go to the spa?”
Rarity facehoofed at Pinkie’s comment. “No dear, I’m just saying it’s a way humans bond and relax. Is that the gist of it Mr. Muller?”
“I think, I mean the head explosion thing can happen if you drink too much, but if you’re responsible, you and your mates can just laugh over a pint.” At his last words, David paused and brought a hoof to his muzzle. “Hmm, why does something about that ring with me?”
“Oooh!” Despite her hangover, Pinkie was now enthusiastic about something. “You should make it your new name!”
“New name?” David was confused now.
“Well, I mean, you don’t have to change your name, but the Princess did say it makes being a pony a little easier.
“Hmm,” Izumi was pondering now too, “darn, I’d gotten so caught up in being a pony, I hadn’t even thought of a new name, ugh this is hard. How do parents d-” a strand of her neon pink mane fell in front of her face. “I got it! Neon! Neon Glitter! Yeah, that sounds good.”
“That’s nice and all,” Pinkie smiled and winced at the same time, “but could you just turn it down a little?”
“Please!” David’s mum was also hungover, but much more so than Pinkie. She hadn’t even bothered getting off the ground. She was content to just sit on the floor until the end of the world (again, probably not that long of a wait).
“Sorry sorry,” Neon apologized she then turned to David, “so, um, what about you?”
“Well, how does ‘Laughing Pint’ sound?”
“I think it sound super!” Pinkie smiled, “What’s a pint anyway?”
“It’s a glass that holds drinks.”
“Oh! Like the stuff Applejack uses to hold cider.”
“Wait,” something stopped Pint, “how does drinking a lot of cider make you feel?”
“Actually now that I think about it... you said this ‘alcohaly’ stuff makes you dizzy right?”
“Yes.”
“Hmm, well there was that one time Berry and I had that cider contest, I think we both felt pretty dizzy after that. It also made me a little sleepy so I took a nap afterwards, but it didn’t make my head hurt like that stuff last night did.”
“I honestly don’t know how you two managed to drink that much. A shame Rainbow Dash was visiting Cloudsdale at the time, she would have loved to compete against the two of you.”
“Oooh! When we get back we should celebrate with a cider party!”
“Hmm, ok, I like the sound of this,” Pint trotted around the room as he thought aloud, “as long as my friends and I have something to bond over I should be good.”
“Oooh,” Neon squealed, “I can’t wait to try cider! When do we go to Equestria anyway?”
“Well,” Pinkie looked at both Pint and Neon, “I think we might need to just wait for a little on Fluttershy.
“Fluttershy?” Pint asked.
“Yeah, when I woke up, aside from the head-explody thing, my right hindleg hit me in the face, that means somepony is coming to see us.”
“So do we just just wait then?” Neon asked.
“Yes,” Rarity replied, “besides, I think we still all need a little rest after last night anyway.”
“You two will be ok?” Rarity and Pinkie’s faded colors hadn’t gotten past Neon either.
“Oh,” Rarity looked at her now slightly discolored mane, “this. Well the Elements should ward of the worst of it, so we should be fine.”
“Ok, but if we need to move, I can always try teleporting.”
“I’m sure it’ll be fine, but it’s quite cute that you want to try out teleporting, you remind me of Sweetie when she was just a foal. Mother and father had a hay of a time dealing with her.”
“Sweetie can use magic?”
“Well of course she can use magic dear, she’s a unicorn after all.”
"It’s just that the show never showed her using magic.”
“What?” Rarity looked aghast. “But she’s so good at it, she was even the top unicorn in school. I’m honestly surprised she hasn’t gotten a cutie mark for it yet.”
Pint chuckled a little. “Guess the show got that part right at least... Sweetie is friends with Applebloom and Scootaloo right?”
“Of course, why, they’re the closest of friends. Hmm, but the way this ‘show’ portrayed us concerns me... it didn’t show me acting undignified did it?”
“Um,” Neon and Pint awkwardly looked at Rarity and then each other.
Pint was the one to speak up though, “Did you actually go to the Grand Galloping Gala?”
“Oh sweet Celestia,” Rarity’s white muzzle turned beet red.
~~~
“Hmm,” Twilight was munching on a salad Jen’s mom had made for everypony, “interesting.”
“What?” Jen’s mom asked, “Too much vinaigrette?”
“Oh no, it’s quite fine, just sort of dulled,” Twilight bluntly said, but then realized her bad manners, “but it’s not because it’s a bad salad. It just doesn’t have magic in it, I think.”
“How can a salad have magic in it?” Jen asked as she munched on the exact same salad and, by all means, thought it was an explosion of flavor.
“Everything in Equestria, to some degree, has magic in it. Especially food since it takes the work of all three pony types to produce it.”
“So ponies really do do everything in Equestria then... wait, if pony magic is prevalent in everything, then what about the Everfree? I mean, in the show at least, it didn’t need ponies to cause natural phenomenons and stuff like poison joke seemed pretty magical.”
“Remember, I said everything in Equestria has magic in it, not just pony magic. For example, the Everfree is a sink for primordial magic. I found that out the hard way.”
“Primordial magic?”
“Magic that has existed since the beginning of time. Before this crisis happened, I was actually looking into it to prove my grand unified magical theory.”
“What?”
“I have a theory that all magic is interconnected at some point, from Earth ponies growing the tiniest saplings, to the the Princesses lifting the sun and the moon.”
“Einstein.” Jen looked absolutely shocked at the revelation she had just had.
“What’s an ‘Einstein?’” Twilight gave Jen an odd look.
“He was this really important physicist. When he died he was looking for a force that connected the entire universe together. I think... oh my god... you may have just found the answer to the greatest physics problem in existence.” Jen hadn’t earned a scholarship to college for nothing.
Twilight’s bookworm instincts took over, “So this ‘Einstein’ was looking for a force that connected the universe and I was looking for how magic was connected... sweet Celestia! I think you may be right! I mean it’s speculation right now, but if I could just see this human’s research I might be able to finalize my own. Oh, this is so exciting!”
“Hmm, well there’s also one other really big physicist right now, but he’s kind of sick and need a lot of stuff to communica- oh my gosh!”
“What?” Twilight said in slight alarm.
“The pony serum fixes anything right?”
“Well, we developed it to essentially clear out the human body. It removes massive disabilities and expels foreign entities that would normally harm a human, while adapting any beneficial foreign entities to function in a pony’s body as well. But what does that have to do with a sick physi- oh!” The idea of ponifying the physicist clicked in her mind. “Yes, we’ll definitely need save him, along with all the other great human minds. We might have already solved one of the great questions of the universe, who knows what else we could accomplish? By the way, what is this person’s na-” Twilight stopped and looked embarrassed, “oh um...”
“What?”
“Well I got so caught up in giving you the Element and food that I didn’t even get your name, I’m really sorry.”
“Oh no, it’s fine,” Jen awkwardly held out a hoof, “It’s Jen, Jen Craney.”
“Oh that’s right,” Twilight said and she shook Jen’s hoof, “humans have a little different naming system than ponies.” Twilight thumped herself playfully on the head. “Here I was expecting something like Trail Blazer or Tan Lilly.”
“Well I guess you have a point,” Jen thought about the dilemma she was in. She liked her name, but it was human and she was a pony now, a pony that wanted a cutie mark. It just didn’t fit for a pony to have a name like Jen. She turned over to her mom, who had been having a conversation with her dad about the oddities of wings. “Mom... is it ok if I change my name?”
“Well...” her mom looked over at Twilight, “does everyon- er, everypony have names like yours?”
“Well it’s completely up to humans whether they change their names or not, but I think it could really help in adapting to Equestria.”
“Hmm,” Jen’s mom pondered for a second, “Jen you can choose a new name... in fact I think you should choose a good new surname for all of us.”
“What?!” Jen was shocked at the task her mom was giving her, and more so at the suddenness of it.
“Well you’re becoming an adult and from the sound of it a very important pony, so I think you can handle the responsibility.”
“But... but, I haven’t even thought of a name for myself.”
“Don’t worry,” Twilight reassured everypony in the room, “you don’t need to choose right now. You’ll have plenty of time once Equestria is here.”
“I... I guess,” Jen meekly replied. Damn it! Why can’t I figure any of this out! Then Jen noticed that Twilight seemed to be concentrating on something. “Something wrong?”
“No, it’s just that Rarity must have teleported.”
“Is she coming here?”
“No I think she’s going to see Pinkie.”
“Wait, how do you know where everypony else is?”
“I don’t, except for Pinkie and Rarity and Rarity only because she just teleported.”
“What about Pinkie then?”
“I don’t think I’ll ever fully understand it, but Pinkie somehow leaks magic, but not typical Earth Pony magic or even primordial magic... it’s something of her own.”
“It’s Pinkie?”
“It’s Pinkie.”
“So what do we do now then?”
“Well I guess if Rarity teleported, she must wanted to help whoever Pinkie’s with. So I guess we just wait until somepony uses an Element and then we’ll teleport to them.”
“Just one thing Ms. Sparkle,” Jen’s mom tuned in to the conversation, “do you think you could fix up the living room a little?” She awkwardly looked through the kitchen door at the mess the living room was.
“Actually,” Twilight said as she started to walk over to the living room, Jen followed as well, “since it’s already a mess, maybe I could help show your daughter some magic? Would that be ok Ms. Craney?”
“Um, certainly,” Jen’s mom awkwardly flapped her wings, “also, you wouldn’t know how to use these would you?”
“Oh, sorry, the most experience I have flight is the cloudwalker spell.”
“Heh,” Jen’s dad laughed, “I can only imagine what that does.”
“Anyway,” Twilight looked over at Jen, “it looks like you can already levitate stuff a little, how about a repair spell?”
“Um ok,” Jen nervously looked over at Twilight, “how does it work?”
“Well you just focus on whatever is broken and imagine yourself fixing whatever the problem is.” Twilight scanned the room for something simple to fix and found a broken picture frame. It had a picture of Jen when she was ten and her family, it was odd looking at herself as a human now. “How about this?” Twilight propped up the picture up.
“Um ok,” Jen closed her eyes and focused on the picture frame and imagined the frame whole again, with her family all together and smi-
“Whoa!” Twilight exclaimed.
“What?!” Jen stopped focusing and opened her eyes again. The frame was back to normal, but the picture had changed, now it had her as a filly in the picture. “What the hell?”
“I’ve never seen anything like that. You must have done a variant of the repair spell... I think.”
“That’s crazy,” Jen said as she looked at the picture, aside from the fact that she was a filly in the picture, everything else was the same, even the missing front tooth she had in the picture and the scab on her elbow. Well I guess it’s my left foreleg now. “This is weird.”
“But it’s also go-” Twilight paused and scanned the air again.
“What is i-” Aside from the buzzing in the air that had been bothering Jen since she’d become a unicorn, another feeling now filled the air. It was pure and powerful and rather than being an annoying buzzing, it was like a part of an incomplete song. The oddest part is that it just felt... honest? “Is that what I think it is?”
“You bet it is!” Twilight’s horn lit up as she spoke, “long-distance teleportation can be a little rough, so you might want to brace yourself.”
“Got it.”
“Oh Jen,” her mom called out, “are you going?”
“Don’t worry mom, I’m with Princess Celestia’s star stu-”
Like that, Jen and Twilight were gone.
~~~
Neon had been awoken by the harmonic noise filling the air. Yesterday had been so amazing. She had gotten to talk with Rarity and Pinkie Pie so much. It was amazing learning more and more about the real Equestria. Today had also been an interesting day as well. Pint’s bartender friend had managed to get converted and get back to the bar. He said the streets were still a mess, but they were doing a little better now that the guard had fully mobilized.
That just left one issue: Fluttershy. Pinkie had said she was coming, but she wasn’t here yet. The harmonic noise put her fears to rest, it felt similar to when Pint activated his Element. The noise hadn’t gotten past Rarity either. “Did you feel that?” She asked Neon.
“Yep, does that mea-”
“She’s here!” Pinkie sprung up between the two unicorns and awoke the other three ponies in the room.
“Ugh,” Pint groggily sat up, “Pinkie, isn’t it a little early to be having a party? Or is it too late?”
“But Fluttershy got her pony’s element to work and she’s really close!”
“What?” Pint immediately became alert, “Where?”
“About 156.873 miles from here!” Pinkie was nearly bouncing off the walls.
“Um, do you know it in kilometers?” Pint asked, he couldn’t do the math off the top of his head.
“What’s a kilometer?”
“Nevermind,” Pint said, “should we get going then?”
“I think that would be best,” Rarity replied, “this color loss thing is absolutely dreadful.” Both Rarity and Pinkie’s coats and manes were now looking more faded. “Let’s do this as soon as we can.” Rarity’s horn started to glow.
“Wait!” Neon cried out. “I won’t let you waste any more magic, not after last time!” Neon’s horn started to gain an electrical aura.
“Really dear, I’m fine now. Besides, you might need to practice your teleportation a bit m-”
Pint’s mum was now alone with Don. “I think I need a drink,” Don said as he looked in bewilderment at the place where the four other ponies had been.
“I wouldn’t advise it,” Pint’s mum replied.
~~~
The rapid shift from day to night hadn’t helped Jen’s trip from Brisbane to wherever she was now. But when everything stopped spinning, she saw she was in a forest. “Where...”
“Twilight!” A voice called out. Jen looked to see a familiar orange Earth Pony trapped in a thicket of plants. An unconscious green stallion was next to her. “Ya gotta help! Ah passed out and when Ah woke up Ah was stuck in these dang plants and Earth’s Element was like that, ya gotta help him!”
“Right!” Twilight replied as she trotted forward, but her trotting was a little tipsy “Ugh, guess teleporting here takes out a lot of your magic.” Jen noticed that both ponies coats seemed slightly faded.
“Be careful sugarcube, we’re close to one a those entropo-whatsit things. Ah think it might be the thing that knocked me out.”
“I can help!” Jen rushed forward to the green stallion and focused on healing whatever was wrong with him. Oh magic, please work! A tan aura surrounded the unconscious pony. While Jen focuses on the stallion, Twilight helped free Applejack.
The green pony twitched a little and then slowly opened in his eyes. He groaned a little and then spoke in something Jen thought sounded like spanish, but she could really only pick up the word Applejack. Then, much to Jen’s shock, Applejack started talking the same language as well. Magic.
“Glad to see he got his Element working so fast,” Twilight said as she trotted over to look over the pony. “But we’ll need to watch it on teleporting, it takes a bit out of me. But it looks like both of you have seen worse.”
The green pony mumbled something and then passed out again.
“So what do we do now?” Applejack asked.
“We should probably wait a little so I can build up my magic some more, plus it looks like your pony needs some rest.”
“Ah suppose bu-” Applejack froze, “oh shoot.”
“Wha-” Twilight froze now too.
“Hey is something wr-” Jen nearly collapsed in horror. The air was now filled with a screaming nothing. The wind didn’t blow, the animals grew still and the silence became deafening. Applejack instantly chucked the stallion on her back and ran. Jen and Twilight followed.
“We gotta move quick!” Applejack yelled.
“Darn it!” Twilight yelled. “Why now?!”
“Ugh,” Jen was trying her best to gallop while keeping her salad down, “what... what’s going on?”
“It’s the entropy!” Twilight yelled. “We have to get out of its z-” Twilight slipped and fell on... soap. “Oh nonono!”
“What now!?” Jen said in alarm.
“We got out of the frying pan and into the fire, we’re in a flux zone now!”
“A what?” As Jen yelled she felt thick rain fall on her. Chocolate? Oh no not again!
“We have to get out of here!” Twilight’s horn was glowing again as she spoke, “I don’t know what happens when entropy touches a flux and I don’t want to find out!”
“But I thought you said that teleporting takes a lot out of y-” The four ponies disappeared in a flash.
~~~
“So that’s how you ended up here?” Rarity asked Fluttershy. The yellow pegasus had been absolutely shocked when her friends and two other ponies had materialized right below where she was flying.
“Yes, if it hadn’t been for Mr. Sky...” Fluttershy shivered as she looked at the unconscious pony on her back, “I don’t want to think about it. I said such horrible things.”
“Hey,” Pinkie patted her friend with a hoof, “we all make mistakes, besides this place makes you act a little crazy, especially if you drink stuff.”
“What?”
“It’s kind of a long story... ooh I’ll tell it to you when we get back home.”
“We should probably be on our way then,” Rarity’s horn started to glow as she spoke. “I think all the Elements are working except for Twilight’s and I think she and Applejack have been at the meetup spot for a while.”
“What?” Neon was confused by Rarity’s words, “But I haven’t felt anything.”
“It’s pretty far away, that’s probably why.”
“Wait!” Neon cried out, “If it’s far then I’ll do it! You can’t use any more magic!”
“Don’t worry dear, with three Elements near us, we should be fine.”
“Yeah and as soon as we get there, we’ll summon Equestria and then we’ll ha-” Pinkie was cut off by the group of six.
~~~
Not gonna lie, there was something very surreal about seeing the San Diego convention center from afar. The last time I’d been there was for the Thanksgiving in 2010. MLP was just starting back then wasn’t it? Heh, and I just thought it was a little girl’s show back then. It really is amazing what can change in just two years. I’d gone from a high school student, to a college student, to a pegasus. “Life is strange,” I muttered as we got closer and closer to our destination.
“What?” Dash asked.
“I’m just thinking about the last time I was here, it feels so long ago.”
“I guess things have changed a bit.”
“Understatement of the century.” I said as we passed over the the bridge that connected San Diego to Coronado. The feeling of honesty in the air had been constantly growing as we got closer and closer to our destination. But now I saw a bright flash on Coronado’s beach and three new feelings accompanied the honesty in the air: kindness, generosity, and laughter. “Oh god, Pinkie is there now isn’t she?”
“You bet she is,” Dash smiled, “bet the whole gang is there now an- Shoot!”
“What?”
“If everypony else is there, do you know what that means?”
“Um, everypony else is there?”
“It means we’re last! Ugh, fastest flier in Equestria and I’m last!”
“Well you are on Earth right now, so technically you’re still fastest in Equestria.”
“I think I know why your unicorn friend lobbed that milk at you now.” Dash suddenly increased her speed rapidly and raced off to meet her friends.
“Hey!” I tried to catch up with her, but five hours of flying had worn me out much more than her. “Wait for me!”
It was still night wherever Jen was now. She looked around and saw she was on a beach. The other ponies were scattered around her. But where’s...
“Good,” came a weak voice, “you’re up.” Jen turned around to see Twilight lying on the sand. Her coat and mane were now fully grey and her eyes looked tired.
“Twilight!” Jen rushed to her side. “Oh my god, are you ok?”
“It-” Twilight coughed, “it’s nothing, everything with be fine. This is where everypony will meet, ok? Once they’re here you’ll just need to teleport a few miles out, you can feel the epicenter from here right?” Jen did feel an odd sensation in the air that was neither an Element or the discordant buzz of electronics.
“I... I can feel it.”
“Ok,” Twilight breathed heavily, “I know you don’t know them all, but when they get here, work with the other elements. I’m sure you can do it.”
“But you’ll be here to help right?” Jen knew something was wrong with what she just said.
“I trust you, I know you humans can make good fri-” Twilight collapsed in the sand just in time for Applejack to regain consciousness.
“Twilight?” Applejack watched as her friend’s body crumpled into the sand. “TWILIGHT!!!!”
End Saga 2
The Conversion Bureau: Reality Break
I really like her mane [April Fools!]
“Er,” I used a hoof to brush my mane out of my face as I flew above the vast American expanse.
“Something wrong?” Dash asked as she flew beside me.
“This stupid mane keeps getting in my face!” I’d thought flight would be at least one advantage of being a pegasus, but my now-long mane had ruined that enjoyment. Every time I even felt a brief hint of excitement while flying, my mane flew right into my face and temporarily blinded me. “How do mares deal with this?!”
“You just gotta let it flow behind you.”
“But... that’s so girly! For god’s sakes, it’a so girly it’s a cliche!”
“Look, I know the whole being a pony thing is weird, but it beats the end of the world right?”
“Ok Dash,” I’d been dealing with this problem since that horrible Sunday when all hell had broken loose, “allow me to retort. I can deal with being a pony, hell, I can even deal without hands. What I can’t deal with is being a damn girl!”
“Hey! What’s wrong with being a girl?” Dash stopped flying and got right in my face.
“N-n-nothing, it’s not being a girl that sucks, it’s that I lost my masculinity.”
“Please,” Dash waved a hoof in my direction, “I’ve known lots of stallions who were way more fru-fru than any mare could ever be. Besides, Celestia still needed to work out some bugs with the potion on the seeds, it was the only way.”
I sighed again, “I know, it’s for the good of everypony else. But I mean, the way my friends looked at me after they took the potion... Nate nearly bucking kissed me!”
“Yeah, um, sorry about, I guess the whole heat thing was a bad side effect.”
“No crap,” I pouted.
“Well I think you’re doing pretty well as a mare. You’d probably give Rarity a run for her money in a dress.”
My eyes went wide with suspicion, “Did... did you just call me cute?”
“Well, I mean, um,” Dash’s blue face turned dark red, “maybe.”
“No,” I wildly gesticulated my hooves.“No, no, no! Where’s Discord? Clearly he or some other sick entity has contrived this just to see me squirm.” Damn it! I’m a guy, a former human! I am not in love with Dash! No matter how cute her mane lo- STOP IT! STOP IT BRAIN!!
“Well excuse me for saying you look good.”
“No, I think you’re a nice pony too, it’s just this is too weird for me! I mean, pony, pegasus and a mare, a mare in heat! It’s just...” I bit my lip, “just too much.”
“Hey,” Dash flew closer and patted me with a feather, “we all have our tough days, but that’s what friends are for.” Dash was getting closer.
“I know. Thanks Dash.”
“So you really think I’m a nice pony?”
“Well,” I blushed a little, “maybe a bit more than that.”
“Really?” Dash leaned closer as I closed my eyes.
~~~
I sat up in a flash. It took me a second to remember that I was in a White House bedroom. “Ugh, fricking dreams, they just keep getting weirder and weirder." I was about to fall back to sleep, but I noticed my wings were fully extended. “For buck’s sake.”
___________________________
Author's note: I'm sorry I couldn't resist. Happy April Fools Day Everypony!
The Conversion Bureau: Reality Break
I raced to catch up with Dash and flew down when I saw nine figures gathered on the beach. They were all huddled around something that was glowing. “Crap! They must have already started!” I zoomed down and was greated by a chaotic mess of shouting.
“There’s nothing we can do?” Rarity cried.
“This is a terrible dream right?” Fluttershy had tears streaming down her face.
“We can’t do anything?” A red stallion with a black and white mane asked.
“私はすべてをしようとしている！” A blue and pink unicorn called out as her horn alighted with an electric blue aura.
Japanese? What the hell? I looked for Dash and spotted her next to Applejack. “Dash, what’s...”
Dash was crying too. “It’s all my fault! I should have flown faster!”
Then I saw what everypony was gathered around. A grey unicorn with a star shaped cutie mark. She was encased in a mix of blue and tan auras. I looked around and spotted the tan unicorn who was producing half of the magic. Her eyes were bloodshot, her mane in disarray, her legs were shaking, and it looked like she had a dibble of dried blood on her lips. “What is going on?”
“It’s bad John, really bad!” Dash yelled. “We weren’t fast enough and Twilight used too much magic and... Crud!” She violently kicked the sand in front of her.
“Oh god!” I yelled. “This is my fault! I shouldn’t have stopped for food!”
“Not your fault mate,” the red stallion said with a distinct British accent as he trotted over to me. “It’s apparently been like this for a few days.”
“A few days?!” I cast a startled glance at the two unicorns trying to save Twilight. I noticed Rarity’s horn was glowing now as well. “They’ve been doing this for days?!”
“No, I don’t know the whole story, but that tan pony was sustaining Twilight by herself until Pinkie, Rarity, Neon, and I got here...” He awkwardly held out a hoof as he sighed. “Not the best meeting, but name’s Pint.”
“John.” I shook his hoof. “Is there anything we can do?”
“‘Fraid not.” Pint looked at the unicorns with concern. “Us Earth Ponies and pegasi have already tried to help, but it looks like unicorn magic is the only thing keeping Twilight going.”
I looked down at the Element around my neck and his neck as well. “Can’t we use these?”
“We tried that too, but Twilight’s already pretty far gone.” His eyes seemed to be sinking into his skull. “I think Equestria might be the only cure.”
“Then let’s do it!” I cried as my Element thumped around my neck.
“We don’t have magic yet.”
“But you said that one unicorn has been sustaining Twilight for two days! How is that not a testament of magic?!”
“I don’t know! But she just hasn’t been able to get it to work!” Pint stomped at the ground. “Damn it! Damn it all!”
I looked down at the ground and then looked around more. I saw a white pegasus and a green Earth pony standing away from the rest of the group. “What’s their story?”
“Non-English speakers. Everypony else is too busy with Twilight to translate for them.”
“Shoot! How are we gonna use these then?” I then noticed just exactly what Element Pint was wearing; a gold necklace with a balloon-like jewel in the middle. “Where is Pinkie anywa-” I stopped when I heard a small cry from behind me. Its source was a pink pony with a long straight pink mane. “Pinkie?”
“Oh,” she sniffled, “I guess you’re the Element of Loyalty, some good that did us.” Tears rolled down her face. “I just wanna go home and have a party with Twilight. I’ll even read a book with her. Just please... please help her!” She collapsed to the ground and sobbed.
“Pint, come on!” I rushed over to the unicorns and stood next to them.
“G-g-go away!” The tan one was barely able to mutter. “I... I need to concentrate.”
“I’m just here to help.”
“You can’t help! We’ve all tried and...” tears started to spill down her face. “I don’t want it to be my fault.”
“Lass,” Pint spoke up, “You’ve been at it for two days, that’s more than any of us could handle. We’ll get through this and have a good drink.” He flashed a weak smile.
“Heh,” I looked over at Pint, “to make me laugh at a time like this, I must be really desperate or you’re a good jokester.”
“Well it’s my Element after all.”
“Geez, you had to handle Pinkie. Can’t imagine what that was like.”
“Quite crazy, then again this whole thing has been.”
“Um,” the unicorn who’d been speaking Japanese spoke up, “could you take it somewhere else if you’re not gonna help?”
“Neon,” Pint replied, “We don’t have horns, but we’re still trying to save Twilight.”
“You making small talk isn’t helping!” Neon started to cry now too.
“Well,” Rarity sniffled, “it does help a little. You making jokes reminds me of when Pinkie got us to all calm down in the forest.”
“Question,” I raised a wing, “did Pinkie really sing that time?”
“Sing? What an odd thing to do. She just cheered us up and showed us how tacky those trees were, no offense to Princess Luna of course.” Then Rarity suddenly started speaking Spanish, or at least it sounded a lot like Spanish. I turned around to see the green stallion and the white pegasus behind me.
“What’s he saying?” I asked Rarity.
“He says he saw us all gathered over here and asked if there was anything he could do to help.” Then Rarity started speaking a language I didn’t know to the white pegasus. “Mr. Sky here says the same thing.”
“Crap!” I kicked the sand. “We’re all here, why aren’t these things working!? I mean...” I looked over at the tan unicorn. “You kept this up for two days! Bullshit you’re not the Element of magic!”
“It...” she stuttered, “it’s more than that... I think.”
“Well what can we do to help?” Neon asked. “I’m pouring all my magic into this and nothing is happening! I... I don’t want to lose Twilight!”
“None of us do,” I replied. “That’s why we’re here now. If we can’t use magic then we’ll use words! We can do this!”
“You remind me how my family thought of me,” the green pony said.
“I just don’t want to lo-” I did a 180 on the pony. “You’re speaking English!”
“No, you’re speaking Spanish.”
“Actually,” the white pegasus spoke up, “you’re both speaking Swahili.”
“The bloody hell is going on?” Pint asked. “A second ago, you two were just speaking babble, now you sound clear as day.”
“Um, everypony,” Fluttershy whimpered, “I think something is happening.” The tan pony’s tiara was starting to glow.
“What?” All five former humans said as the tan unicorn began to float into the air.
“Oh my gosh!” Pinkie popped up by us, her hair was back to normal now. “You did it! It’s working.”
“But what about Twi-” I stopped when I heard a murmur.
“Twilight!” All five of her friends crowded around her.
“Ugh, gi... girls?” Twilight’s form muttered.
“We’re here sugarcube!” Applejack cried as she hugged her still floating friend.
“Yeah, I knew you’d pull through!” Dash exclaimed as she brushed away her tears.
“Dash?” Twilight’s coat was regaining color. “Were you crying?”
“Well, I mean, I was just...” Dash trotted over to her friend and gave her a hug. “Just scared.”
“It’s okay Dash, we all were.” Twilight now looked at the six of us. “Humans, I’m sorry I’ve caused so much trouble for you. But it is time now. You found the spark by encouraging each other and standing strong.” She looked up at the tan unicorn. “Jen, you were brave, braze then I’ve ever been.”
“I just didn’t want it to be my fau-” A siren interrupted Jen. “What is that?”
“Attention! ” The sirens blazed. “Seek bomb shelters immediately! Repeat, seek bomb shelters immediately! ”
“Oh buck!” What the president had said about North Korea and Iran flooded back to me. “We need to move now!”
“Way ahead of you!” Jen said as her horn and tiara lit up. Suddenly, a bubble formed around all twelve us and and we were instantly floating over the ocean. A feeling of weightlessness filled the bubble. “Twilight!” Jen called out. “This the spot?”
“Yes!”
“What do we do now?” Sky called out.
“Focus on your Elements!” Twilight replied. “Search deep in them and you should feel tethering point with Equestria!”
I closed my eyes and focused deeply on the Element. The harmonic noise it produced filled my head. But now five other tunes accompanied it. At first they were discordant, but the melodies began to converge and then a grand symphony was produced. It was unlike anything I’d ever felt before. It was like music, but it was touching every one of my senses. Now if only the light weren’t on in the ci- “Holy crap!”
“What?” Neon asked.
“I thought only unicorns could feel electricity!” I said as the hum of the city kept bothering me.
“It’s probably the Elements!” Neon said as the symphonic sound of the Elements grew louder and blocked out the other noises. “Just focus on the Equestria! We’re close now!”
“Geez!” Pint exclaimed. “This is crazy!”
“Keep it up!” Sky yelled. The Elements kept glowing bright and brighter.
“Almost...” The green pony was starting to sweat, we all were.
“NOW!” Jen exclaimed as her flank and her eyes glowed white. I saw a huge beam shoot up into the sky and then everything went dark.
~~~
The first thing I felt was my brain being overloaded. Everything felt too vast and deep. It was like being presented a perfectly white canvas, only infinitely more pliable. “Gah!” I stood up and put a hoof to my head. “Somepony turn down the lights or something! It’s too...” I slowly opened my eyes to see I was standing in an immense field. “Too bright...” The field was unlike anything I’d ever seen before. So simple, yet so complex at the same time. The setting sun only helped in intensify the land’s splendor.
“Beautiful, isn’t it?” Jen slowly got up and trotted over to me. I noticed that the other ponies were all sprawled out in the field. “Jesus, I can’t believe it. Equestria is more amazing than I thought.”
“We’re there?”
“Yeah, didn’t you see this field in your dream?”
“Mine got interrupted before it got to this point.”
“A shame, seeing Celestia and Luna and just being here was so incredible.” I noticed that a set of stairs now adorned Jen’s flank. “Oh, sorry, guess our introduction was a little rough. I’m Jen... thought, for some reason, Sun Searcher sounds like a good name. What do you think?” She asked as she held out a hoof.
“Sounds good to me. I’m John by the way,” I said as I shook her hoof.
“So you didn’t come up with a name yet?”
“I...” I backed away a little. “I just want to keep something human about me.”
“Hey, I heard your speech on the telly, would have thought you’d be the one most likely to have changed their name. We’re still human inside aren’t we?”
I looked up at the stars and slowly breathed in and out. “There are a few names that have come to mind for me.”
“I’m guessin ‘Star’ is one them?” Sun asked.
I sighed. “Yeah, I always thought it was a good name if I were a pony. Hell, I even made a oc around it. But still, my name is my name... I just want to keep it, for now at least.”
“We do not require you to change your name. We have already asked so much of you already.” A loud yet familiar voice boomed.
“Oh my god! You’re...” I watched as a blue alicorn descended from the sky. “Luna!” My god, it’s like looking into space! The show didn’t do justice to how amazing alicorns look. Yeah, I’d seen Celestia’s image before, but that’s all it was: an image. Seeing Luna right in front of me was like gazing into a... hmm, I wouldn’t call it an abyss... her form was definitely vast, but it was full of life and magic. Looking at Huble telescope images would probably be the closest thing to how Luna looked. But there was also the immense pressure she exuded. I wasn’t being crushed by the pressure though, just being enveloped by it. Standing before me was a being that could lift the celestial bodies. I was in the presence of an entity far beyond human comprehension.
“We apologize,” Luna awkwardly looked at us. “We... I should have just spoken regularly. I’m sure this must all be very overwhelming for all of you.”
“Ugh,” Twilight now got up, “did we ma- Princess!”
“Oh, hello Twilight Sparkle,” Luna said with a smile.“I am glad to see you and your friends are back.”
“Well the human world was definitely a doozy, but if these ponies are any representation of it, I think I’m about to make a whole lot more friends.”
“Sister will be happy to hear that.” Luna now turned her attention back to us and looked at the stirring form of the other ponies as well. “You are all probably very tired. We have made arrangements for you. If you’ll come with us.”
“Wow!” Sun exclaimed. “This is amazing!”
“Surreal is the more fitting word,” I said. “A nice bed does sound go- oh buck!”
“What is it?” Luna said with concern.
“There was something wrong back on Earth! How do we get back!?”
Luna pointed a hoof at the mountains close by. “The edge is right over there. But do not worry, sister i-” I didn’t hear the rest. I rushed over the the mountains and saw the the land just stopped. It was like a scene out of The Truman Show. I saw the sky and the horizon just ending at the ground, like a painting. As I raced towards it, I saw it was sort of soapy looking. I stopped flying and got back on the ground. I slowly trotted up to the barrier and braced myself as I passed through it... and fell right into the ocean.
“What?” I sputtered as I used my wings to push myself out of the water. I then saw a dome like thing in middle of the water. It couldn’t have been larger than a small condo. “That can’t be the...” I flew over to the edge of the bubble and stuck my head in it. I nearly fell from the shock I got. I was thousands of feet in the air, or at least my head was. I could see a few little dots on the ground from where I’d woken up. “No way!” I exclaimed as I pulled my head out of the bubble.
“Magic is quite an amazing thing isn’t it?” I noticed it was still night outside the bubble, but it was much brighter out than it should have been. I saw the that source of the light was also the voice talking to me. It had the same pressure as Luna.
“C-c-celestia!” I nearly fell back into the water. But I saw I was now floating not by my own wings, rather I was encased in a golden aura.
“Hello my little pony!” Celestia smiled as she flew closer to me. “Did you not wish to sleep in our arrangements?”
“N-n-no!” Her power, my god! It’s more insane than Luna’s! “But there was something really bad happening here, so I had to come back a-”
“Ssh,” Celestia held a hoof to my face. “I know my little pony. But it is okay, after all, what harm can a fake sun do against a real one?”
“There really was a missile?” Damn trigger happy idiots!
“Not anymore,” Celestia gazed at the far off lights of San Diego. “In fact, all those things are gone now. All that shoots, stabs, maims, and harms, I have taken those things away. They would have faded when Equestria came for them anyway.”
“I... I see.”
“Is something wrong?”
“No, just seeing something actually do that... it borders on divine intervention.”
“Do not think of me as a god, I am merely a pony that wishes to help her subjects.”
“I... I know Princess. It’s just... what you do... what all ponies do. It’s more than any human has ever accomplished before.”
“Do not fret over that young one.” Celestia gazed out at the sea and I saw a glimmer in the distance, dawn was coming. “I hope that ponies and humans can all come together and reach new heights.”
“Princess,” my mouth gaped open as I saw the sun begin to peek over the horizon, “you’re not...”
“No,” Celestia shook her head as she spoke, “that is your own sun. I have no control over it in this realm. It is nice to just watch it rise though. I think it’ll be a nice day today.”
“Princess,” the sky was beginning to turn pink on the horizon, “I think you’re right.”
The Conversion Bureau: Reality Break
My special talent should have been attending incredibly strange dinners. No, I don’t know what the cutie mark for that would have looked like, but it’s what I should have earned. First my foodgasm over a damn apple, then the White House dinner, and now the piece de la resistance, a round table feast in the middle of Canterlot Castle, with Celestia and Luna at opposite ends of it. I was just trying to see where the walls ended and the ceiling began, the hall was that tall.
“Um... Mr. Bacanti...” Fluttershy timidly asked, “do you think you could, uh, pass the bread please?”
“Yeah, sure-sure,” I said as I grabbed the bread basket that was being passed around, grabbed a roll, and handed it off to Fluttershy. I had to admit, even the bread in Canterlot looks fancy. But I don’t think anything will hold a candle to the castle itself. Holy crap, this place is huge, the show didn’t do it justice.
“Christ!” Pint exclaimed as he poked his bread. “I’m kinda scared to eat this.” I was currently sandwiched between him and and Fluttershy.
“Why?” I asked.
“Mate, I know you’re not an Earth Pony, but to us, eating is like getting a full itinerary our food.”
“Yeah, one of my friends mentioned that.”
“He an Earth Pony now too?”
“Yeah, man, you and Alvarez must have freaked out when we woke up. I mean, I just freaked out from the sky.”
“But it’s so open!” Sky said as he bent his head to look at us. “I feel like I can do anything in it.”
“That’s the spirit!” Dash said as she poured herself a drink of something; she filled her glass to the brim with whatever it was.
“C’mon Dash!” Applejack brought a hoof playfully down to the table. “Ya gotta share that with the rest of us!”
“But I never usually get to have any!” Dash complained.
“Don’t worry! Ah brought plenty to go around!” Applejack looked at the corner of the dinning room, which held at least five other cases of whatever Dash was drinking.
Pint looked at Dash’s glass. “That’s not what I think it is, is it?”
“Are ya thinking it’s cider, cause it’s some of the best Sweet Apple Acres ever made!” Applejack slapped the bottle as she passed it around the table for the other ponies to drink.
“I did want to try that after what Pinkie said about it,” said Pint.
“What did Pinkie say about it?” asked Applejack.
“That it’s the most super awesome drink ever!” Pinkie suddenly popped up through the middle of the table and sent confetti and streamers everywhere.
“How did she...” Sun stared at Pinkie’s odd display.
“It’s Pinkie,” Twilight explained. “Trust me, it’s easier to just go with it.”
“Gotta admit,” I said as I watched the bottle of cider get passed around the table, “I kinda wanna try it also. Always loved cider back at home.”
“Shoot!” Applejack exclaimed. “They had cider on Earth too? Ya’ll are gonna have to bring some back so Ah can see if they make it differently.”
“I didn’t get to try Earth cider either,” Pinkie said as she bounced back to her seat between Pint and Luna. “I did get to try this one drink that makes you pass out and when you wake up your head explodes!”
“Humans still engage in the barbaric practice of drinking?” Luna said with a shocked face.
“We’ve gotten a little better at it since then Princess,” Pint explained.
“When were you on Earth again?” Alvarez asked.
“I believe it was the time some group of humans called themselves Greeks. Why, I remember one time I tried human drinks and some uncouth man was riding on my back.”
“Princess...” my face deadpanned, “you... you got...” Luna drunk. Oh the strangeness just keeps pouring in.
“I suppose I did try a little. My sister and I have a bit higher tolerance for such things. Although that man kept bragging about it for days afterwards. I wonder whatever happened to him.”
Sun giggled a little. “Maybe he was related to Perseus...” she blushed a little. “Sorry, I’m a bit of a bookworm.”
“No problem with that!” Twilight said with a smile.
“Actually,” Luna tapped a hoof to her muzzle, “I think that might have been his name. But how did you know that, fair Sun?”
Pint’s, Sun’s, Neon’s, and my jaw dropped. “He...” Sun started, “he’s kind of famous... for riding a winged horse.” It was Luna’s turn for her jaw to drop. Her blue face turned bright red.
“That cur! Never again...” Luna looked over at Pinkie and then looked at all of us. “May I hold all of you to the Oath of Pie to never discuss this outside of this room?”
“We Pinkie promise!” All of us said in unison as we stuck a hoof over our eyes.
“I can’t say anything about my English professors though,” I joked.
“Ha! Now you should have gotten the Element of Laughter!” Pint joked as the cider bottle finally reached him. He poured himself a drink and then passed it to me. I was amazed how heavy the bottle still was as I slowly poured myself a glass. The aroma alone made my mouth start to drool, then again so had the scent of the bread.
I passed the bottle and was about to take a drink... when I realized I passed the bottle. “Nopony else get freaked out about that?” I asked the rest of the ponies sitting at the table.
“Freaked out about what?” Neon asked.
“That we’ve been passing a rounded bottle around with hooves!”
“Huh,” Sky said as he looked at the bottle, “that is we-” the bottle slipped out of his hoof. “Oh Crap!”
“Got it!” Twilight exclaimed as her horn and the bottle got covered in a purple aura. “Now,” as she spoke, the bottle poured its contents into her glass, “what’s this about hooves?”
“How did we all hold stuff with them?” I asked. All the former-humans held their breath as they looked at Twilight.
“That’s simple, it’s basic pony magic, even more natural than Earth Pony magic.” Twilight stopped levitating the bottle and grabbed it with a hoof. “See, it’s a simple as walking.”
“I’d argue that,” Sky said.
“Me too,” said Neon.
“Hell,” Pint grabbed his glass, “it’s not that bad when you don’t think about it.” He took a drink and then his glass fell to the floor. “But that stuff makes you think about your glass!” He brought a hoof to his head. “Christ! Feels like my head is about to explode! Only sip that stuff.” I, along with all the other ponies in the room, was staring at him. “Oh, uh, sorry about that, guess I got a bit overwhelmed.”
“No,” Celestia spoke up. “It is fine. I know everything you have gone through and all the challenges you have faced has been tough. I apologize.” Celestia bowed her head.
“Should a ruler do that?” Neon asked.
“I’m not thanking you as a ruler, I’m thanking you all as a pony who needed help. It has been too long since I’ve been able to have a celebration like this, too long since my subjects have had free space to roam. There has been too much suffering by both ponies and humans... but I am glad this day is finally here. The day when our two races can come together. I know it’s overly optimistic of me to say this, but I hope we can all continue united into the future.” Celestia looked over at Twilight and gave her a nuzzle. “I also want to apologize to you, my little ponies. I was selfish and put you in danger.”
“Shucks Princess.” Applejack tipped her hat. “We just wanted to help everypony. Hopefully, in a few years everypony can enjoy cider again.”
“And eat lots of cake!” said Pinkie.
“And enjoy open skies!” Dash smiled as she talked.
“Or have time to enjoy the finer things in life,” Rarity said before taking a sip of the cider.
“Or, um, just spending some time with some little critters,” Fluttershy mumbled.
“Well,” Luna said, “It sounds like you all have plans for the future.” She looked at me and the other new ponies. “What about all of you?”
“Find my friends and tell stories, I’m sure we’ll all have some pretty wild ones,” Pint said with a smile. “Hope I’ve got the best one.”
“Find a place that is cool and filled with water and food for my village,” said Sky.
“I’m with you on that, Sky,” said Alvarez.
“Find my family, catch up on everything I missed, and take walks,” Neon mused. “I’ll take the longest walks in the world. I’ll just be happy to be outside under your sun Princess Celestia.” Neon bowed to Celestia. “Or under your moon Princess Luna.” Neon repeated her action to Luna.
“Why...” Luna touched a hoof to her chest. “Why thank you child, I do not often get comments on the night.”
“You don’t?” I looked over at Luna and then over at Celestia. “No offense Princess Celestia, I love the sun and all the warmth it gives, but I’ve always like the space and the night. Just some of the stuff that fills the void is insane.”
“I hear ya there,” said Sun. “I loved it when I went on trips to the Outback and saw what the night sky looked like away from the cities.” Sun then looked over at Celestia. “That’s not to say that the dawn wasn’t pretty either.”
“All of you don’t need to be concerned with pleasing us,” Luna said. “Rulers are meant to listen to their subjects.”
“Her majesty would love to meet you,” Pint said with a smile.
“Forgive me,” Luna replied, “I’m not as well versed in your world as my sister is, I was indisposed for most of its modern development. Are you all still governed by monarchies?”
“They’re actually pretty rare now,” Sun explained. “Only a few places have kings and queens now.”
“Don’t forget emperors!” Neon pointed out and then giggled.
“What’s funny?” Alvarez asked.
“Well, it’s just that in my country we’re taught that the emperor is a descendant of the sun goddess.” Neon looked over at Celestia. “He definitely didn’t look like a pony.”
I laughed at that. “Well he didn’t look like a wolf either.”
“You played Okami ?”
“Whatever the portable one was called.” I looked down at my hooves. “Heh, glad I beat it before all this happened.” Every former human at the table except Alvarez and Sky laughed at that.
“Hee-hee-hee,” Pinkie laughed, but then stopped. “Wait, I don’t get it.”
“Pinkie,” Pint started to explain, “humans have these things called video games. You control a little character and use them to solve puzzles, go on quests, and defeat bad guys. It all really depends on what type of game.”
“Ooh! Sounds fun!” Pinkie looked over at Celestia. “Can we bring them over here, can we?”
“I’m sorry Pinkie,” Celestia’s face saddened, “I’m not sure what can and can’t be brought over to Equestria, but most advance technology will fade. It can’t coexist with magic. I will try to preserve all I can of humanity though, I owe them that much.”
I sighed a little.
“Something wrong mate?” Pint asked.
“Eh, I’m a little bummed I’m gonna lose all my music. There are so many songs in the world, who knows if they’ll all get saved.”
“What sort of stuff did you listen to?”
“Pretty much everything, except for rap and country.”
“Any favorite bands?”
“Plenty. Queen, Killers, Mighty Mighty Bosstones, They might be Giants, Dragonforce, Asia, Billy Joel, Beatles, Dio, Coldplay, Relient K, Van Halen... the list could go on.”
“Nice, good to see you got some UK favorites in there. Quite an eclectic mix though.”
“Heh, you know, my parents always used the word on me. I always did like the ring it had to it.” Before I could ponder the appeal of the word the doors opened and platefuls of food flew in.
I, along with the rest of the new ponies, nearly passed out; the food smelled that good. “Geez! Not even on our plates and that stuff knocked our socks off!” I don’t think food coma is a strong enough term to describe how we’re gonna feel after this. The food not only smelled good, it looked amazing too. Seriously, the food shown in commercials didn’t look this good. Needless to say, I was drooling like an idiot, all the new ponies were.
“Hmm,” Luna looked at all of us, “sister, do you think the food will be an issue?”
“Come now Luna,” Celestia replied, “it has been a long day for everypony, it is only natural that they would be hungry.” Celestia looked at all us. “Just don’t go too overboard.”
“Okay!” We all replied before digging into the food.
… I don’t remember a whole lot of what happened after that. There was just a feeling of pure bliss. The only thing that reminded me that I was still alive was that I was chewing and drinking stuff. I can’t recall any tastes, only a sense of ultimate deliciousness. All I know is that I came out of the euphoric state after my stomach protested for me to stop. I looked around and saw everypony else looked about the same as I did, except Pinkie. She still looked as hyperactive as ever.
“Can we even call that food?” Sun asked as she patted her stomach.
“I don’t know,” Neon replied. “I don’t think food makes that happy though.”
“Not even the dinners with my family were this good,” Alvarez said as he tilted his head back.
“Hell, even my graduation meal wasn’t this good.” As he spoke, Pint leaned back in his chair. “Mum worked for days on that.”
“Ugh,” I barely managed to get out of my seat. “I think I’m gonna walk around.” I turned my head to Celestia. “That’s okay to do, right?”
“Of course, my castle is your home until proper living quarters can be arranged. Just don’t get lost.”
“I’ll remember that.” I said before I trotted out the door.
~~~
This place place is insane. I don’t even know how to describe how immense this is. Every turn leads to another hall that goes on for a long time. It honestly boggles my mind. Also, it made finding a bathroom all the more difficult. “Darn, I should have asked where one was before I decided to go exlplor—oof!” I bumped right into something, or rather somepony. “Sorry.”
“It’s fine... you wouldn’t happen to be one of the new pony humans?” I was talking to a white stallion with a mane comprised of many shades of blue. He had a shield with a star for a cutie mark.
“Um, yeah.” I awkwardly held out a hoof to him. “Guess you must be one of the princes here.”
“No,” he grasped my hoof, “I’m actually the captain of the royal guard. Name’s Shining Armor, nice to meet you. But if you want to talk to royalty, you can just talk to my wife.” He moved his hoof away and gestured to the pink pony next to him. It was her turn to hold out a hoof.
“Nice to meet you,” she said with a smile. “I’m Princess Mi Amore Cadenza. But you can just call me Cadance.”
“Nice to meet you too,” I shook her hoof. “I’m... John.” My voice trailed as I noticed I wasn’t talking to an unicorn, but an alicorn. “Holy crap!”
“What?” she asked with a look of slight concern.
“You have wings!”
Cadance looked at Armor and then back at me. “Hmm, guess that would be a little shocking to humans. But I mean, you have wings now too.”
“But you have wings and a horn! I thought only Celestia and Luna had both!” Okay, the show must have glossed over something .
“Don’t know where you got that idea from. Everypony, well, at least ever mare in the royal family has both wings and a horn. Consider that a little tidbit about Equestria.”
“Thanks,” I replied. The night just keeps getting stranger.
“Actually,” Armor spoke up, “I was gonna save this when I met all of you, but I wanted to thank you.”
“Heh, Celestia and Luna already beat you to it. Besides, I think we’ve already gotten enough thanks as it is.”
“Well can you accept the thanks of a brother for saving his sister?”
“What?” What’s he talking about?
“My sister, Twilight. I heard that she got into some trouble and you all sa— are you alright?”
Yep, show definitely glossed something over. My jaw slumped open in confusion.“Her brother?! Aw man, buddy, do I feel bad for you.”
“Why’s that?” Armor raised an eyebrow at me.
“Your sister is pretty much a star in my world. I don’t think anypony has even mentioned you before... at least I don’t think so.” Actually, he does look a little familiar... was he in the background of an episode before? Arg! This is breaking my mind!
“Um, well I don’t think it’s that big of a deal. I’m fine just being the captain and having Cadance by my side.” He gave Cadance a nuzzle.
“Dear, not in public.” Armor backed away. Both he and Cadance had red faces.
“A-anyway,” Armor tried to regain his composure, “I thought Celestia was holding a banquet for all of you.”
“She is, but I ate a lot, so I thought it would be a good idea to walk off a bit of it.” I looked up at the ceiling, which was so high up that it was covered in darkness. “I got a little lost though.”
“Often happens when you first come to the castle.” Armor looked at me than at Cadance. “It actually how I met her.”
“Oh, you were so cute when you were just a lost colt trying to find the restroom,” Cadance cooed.
“Speaking of which,” I anxiously looked at them. “You wouldn’t happen to know where one is, would you?”
Cadance giggled a little. “You’re right in front of one, silly.” Cadance pointed a hoof at a pair of doors. One door had a silhouette with a pony with a rounded muzzle and the other had one of a pony square muzzle. I must have passed fifteen of the same type of doors. I facehoofed.
“It’s like being a kindergartener again,” I mumbled as I entered the bathroom. I returned ten minutes later with a partially soaked mane and coat. “Definetly like being a kindergartener again.”
“Did you have some, uh, trouble?” Armor asked.
“Trust me, you don’t want to know.” I looked at my wet coat and mane. “Don’t worry, it’s water.”
“That’s a relief,” Cadance said as her horn glowed and I felt like a body sized blowdryer was touching me. Suddenly, I wasn’t wet anymore. “That better?”
“Much, thanks.”
“Well,” Armor’s horn was now glowing, “shall we join the rest of the ponies?” The world went white for a second. Then it was filled with... confetti. “Huh?”
“Oh hey John! You’re back!” Pinkie exclaimed as she moved away from the her cannon. “I was super worried you’d missed the party... unless you were playing hide and go seek. Then we could have had a fun game!”
“I guess you could say I was doing that.” The room was now covered in confetti, streamers and balloons. “Um, how exactly did you get all this stuff ready so fast?”
“Party cannon.” Pinkie tapped on the small weapon.
“Well the show got that right at least.”
“Hey, I patented this! Guess it’s good that is got some publicity though,” Pinkie said with a smile before she grabbed Armor and Cadance and started dancing with them.
“Good to, uh, see you too, Pinkie,” Armor said as he tried to stay in tune with the other two dancy ponies.
“Yes, it has been a while.” Candance was much more adept at dancing with Pinkie.
I just stood there trying to process what I was looking at. “Oh hell, I don’t think any of this will ever make sense.” I got up and joined the festivities. Easily the best party ever.
The Conversion Bureau: Reality Break
A glimmer of light caught me in the eye. “Ugh, come on,” I picked my body up a little, “it’s Saturday, can’t Celestia grant me a little more sleep?”
“Can’t you grant me a little more sleep?” Summer asked. Only one of her eyes was open as her head rested on the pillow; she was giving me a look that could rival Fluttershy’s stare.
“Sorry Summer.” I sighed a little and looked outside the window that was made of clouds. “Eh, at least it looks like it’ll be a nice day out.”
“Good,” Summer murmured and turned away from the light. “If you think it’s such a nice day out, then I’m sure you can enjoy it while making breakfast.”
“Fine, fine. I was in the mood for pancakes anyway, we’ll need some food in us for tonight anyway.”
“Yeah, that’s really mffphl.” Summer stuck her muzzle into the pillow and drifted back to sleep.
“At least one of us gets to sleep in.” I trotted downstairs and into the kitchen. A quick look through the fridge brought a slight frown to my face. “Drat! Out of eggs. Guess I’ll be making a quick run to the market.” I dashed over to the door where my saddle bag was and chucked it on my back, rushed outside, and descended into the city below.
It amazed me how fast North Star city had popped up in just five years. Magic and technology had really made it quite unique looking. Buildings that were a mixture of traditional pony dwellings and modern human architecture were common in the city now. But the most impressive building that stood as a dazzling marvel in the center of the city was the re-adjustment bureau. Even on the outside, the bureau was quite a site; a skyscraper more grand than anything that had lined New York or San Francisco... well I guess you could still compare it to the skyscrapers in New York for a few more months. But what made it so impressive was its incorporation of magic in it construction. Magic allowed the building to twist and bend in ways that should have been physically possible. The lack of a true wind also allowed the building to reach momentus heights without need to calibrate it to combat strong winds. It was a structure that caught the eye of newfoals and welcomed them into a shining new land.
The bureau was even more awe inspiring on the inside. It was singlehandedly the largest naturalization effort ever undertaken by man and probably a really big first for ponies. The great immigrations of the 19th and 20th century into America were nothing compared to to this. Every day hundreds, usually thousands of newfoals poured into Equestria. Naturally, the re-adjustment bureau in North Star was just one of many, but it had been the first and thus a lot of newfoals often came there. But work there was more fit for unicorns that could use the know-it-all spell, that made things a whole lot easier for newfoals. It was definitely an improvement over the first few years where we had to resort to sending newfoals to kindergarten.
That’s not to say I didn’t play my part in the bureau. All the seeds, myself included, played some part in the ponification process. Sun and Neon were usually the ones at the re-adjustment bureaus, managing things from the top along with Twilight and the Princesses. Sky and Forest were patrollers in the human world, searching for the most desolate and abandoned parts of the world for those that needed help but couldn’t get it. Kind of amazing how years and countless amounts of money had been spent trying to give aid to starving nations and now they could be cured with a free drink. But while those two were in the corners of the human world and Neon and Sun were in Equestria, Pint and I found ourselves in the middle ground: the conversion bureaus.
It had been freaky as hell going to the first one. I’m not even really sure I could call it anything but a readjusted doctor’s office in Los Angeles. It was a small place, but once the potion fever that had brought chaos to a most of the world had died down, people came to realize there didn’t need to be a mad scramble for the potion. There needed to be a controlled way to deliver it to every(future)pony though. It actually started the night of the party all those years ago. Pint had apparently brought it up while I’d been exploring the castle. He had just been joking, but I guess Celestia took him seriously. A few months later, there I was in a standing in front of a slightly redecorated doctor’s office (I swear the only thing different was the sign above it, which was a silhouette of a pony and human shaking hand and hoof).
That was the day I wanted to smack Pint until he thought he had hands again. After about a minute of speaking, he handed the mike off to me and let me handle the rest of the talking. I pretty much gave the same spiel I did when I was first on TV, with a few additional things on how great Equestria was. I nearly got blinded by all the photos people were taking. But, somehow, I managed to get some applause. Luckily, Pint redeemed himself at that point by helping me take questions. My god, the questions; that q&a session must have lasted over two hours at least. But, by the end of it, all the people were lined up, waiting for some potion. I still don’t know how I convinced people to drink anything artificially grape flavored though. Hooves, manes, and muzzles I can understand, but artificial grape was a line I’m still amazed I got people to cross.
Then again, perhaps keeping it grape-flavored was a good idea. Celestia had worked with some scientist a few years ago to alter the flavor. I think the main goal was to get a dragon potion, their letter delivery magic was the closest thing to email. Amazon was still probably pouring all its cash into that variant, but so far, only two variants had been created: blueberry and cherry. I was both horrified and amused that those two flavors had actually been made. On top of being a pony, now a guy could be a girl and a girl could be a guy. My “no, you’re not crazy, that really just happened” list could probably stretch into space by now.
But aside from those shenanigans (I still have nightmares about the first time I had to answer questions about that), I mostly just gave speeches around various bureaus. I actually liked it a lot. I got to see a ton of sites most ponies would never see again. I still remember standing in my old house as Equestria slowly crept over it. In one second, I was standing on marble floors, the next second I was splashing in water (evidently what had been my house on Earth was now a pond in Equestria). It was an odd bittersweet feeling I got seeing monuments of the world disappear. Nothing could be done about things like Yellowstone or the Grand Canyon, but people and ponies were working on preserving things like the Declaration of Independence and the Magna Carta. But they were paper and small, so they’d probably survive. It truly was a weird sight to watch a dying world work to preserve itself while a new world worked to establish itself simultaneously.
I landed and headed to the market. Firms like Target and Safeway had tried to establish stores in Equestria, but they just hadn’t taken. It’s not that they were bad, hell, I still recall them being pretty efficient. But they were also distant and removed. I could even see it in the faces of the ponies that worked there, they’d probably been poor as humans. A lot of the first wave of converts had been hobos, they didn’t seem to realize how free Equestria was until they placed themselves in a job that limited that freedom. That was one of the reasons the markets that had dominated Western culture fell in Equestria.
The other reason was the impersonality of it. It didn’t matter if you shopped at those stores as a human, you were in a land of ponies now and ponies just couldn’t accept the distance between owners of the store and customers. They liked to chat while buying their food, tell stories. It didn’t matter that human stores could offer everything an entire market of ponies could, it was simply a matter of communication.
Okay, got the eggs. Was there anything else I needed? I looked back at my saddlebag which currently held my cargo. I’ve got milk, I’ve got flour, and I’ve got vegetable oil. Oh, I’ll probably want a little something before we go to th– “Oof!” I bumped right into somepony. Luckily, it was just a light bump so I didn’t send my eggs flying everywhere. “Sorry, typical of a pegasus to have his head in the clouds.” I gave a nervous chuckle.
“Oh no it’s quite fine,” the mare replied. She was a white unicorn with a pink mane and golden eyes, something seemed familiar about her. Her eyes went wide when she looked me over though. “Oh my gosh! You’re–” I held up a hoof to stop her, at least temporarily.
“Okay, let me guess, my speeches helped changed your life and you love being a pony. I don’t mean to sound rude, but I prefer to be treated just like any other pony. I’m sure anypony would have risen to the occasion.”
“Well I mean there’s all that, but it’s even bigger than that.” The mare’s eyes twinkled with delight. “I was in on the whole conversion bureau phenomenon before it was even real.”
“Oh lord,” I sighed, “do we already have hipsters here? Geez, I thought you’d all be staying in college at least, saying how ponification was too mainstream or something like that.”
The mare shook her head. “No, it’s not that, heh, I still remember Krass telling me somepony had actually been ponified in real life. I don’t think I’ve ever had a greater freakout.”
“Wait, Krass? Geez, there’s a blast from the past, I can’t believe how insane it was that all those writers actually were onto something so grand.”
“How do you think I felt when I found out what I wrote was coming true?”
“Yeah that must ha– wait, what?” I corked an eyebrow.
“Sorry, I guess I haven’t introduced myself.” The mare held out a hoof, which I grabbed in response. “I’m Sunshine, Sunshine Laughter, but you probably know me as Chatoyance.”
My mouth dropped like a rock. “Seriously?! Holy crap! I remember reading your stories. Heh, you know when I first became a pony I actually got really mad that you weren’t on the IRC. I was convinced you’d be able to handle this best.”
“Well I don’t know about that.” Sunshine blushed a little. “Besides if any thanks deserves to be given it’s to you and all the other seeds who made this possible. Even in my wildest dreams, I never thought Equestria would be like this.”
“Ditto.” I looked up at the sun and noticed it was nearly ten. “Sunshine, it’s been an honor meeting you, but my fillyfriend is hungry and I’ve got brunch to make, so I’ve got to be off.” I unfurled my wings and started hovering into the sky.
Sunshine waved as I flew away. “See ya around, thank you!”
Always such a strange thing to see somepony who used to write those stories. Heh, wonder if Lauren Faust ever got ponified. The thought of cartoons chimed something in my memory. “Oh yeah, it’s Saturday! Gotta go check with the shop! Summer can wait a little.” I veered from my home route and flew to my favorite store in all the city.
I nearly died when I found out about the comic shop. Pre-Conversion, comics had never really been a thing in Equestria. Now? There was a plethora of both human comics and pony ones. I’d actually traded a few of my manga volumes to check out some of Dash’s Daring Do comics. Still, for the past four years, all that the comic shop had carried were old western comics, manga, and new pony comics. A year ago both DC and Marvel had restarted both their universes with new pony versions (even as a pony, batman still rocks). But I’d never been a big fan of western comics (minus a brief stint with Green Lantern), so I’d eagerly awaited that day when the first pony manga would come out, I checked every Saturday with the shop when it got its new imports. Today would probably be the same.
“Hey,” the owner looked up from his chair, “my customer with eyes, but no cash, ya here to just look around again?” He was a gruff pony, he’d even managed to grow that stubble a few stallions managed to get, but he was nice if you talked with him a little. Not surprisingly, his cutie mark was a comic book.
“Depends if you’ve got in anything good.” Even if I didn’t buy anything, I still liked the atmosphere of the shop. No matter what world I’m in, being surrounded by good reading material and nerdom always felt nice.
“Well,” his horn started to glow, “maybe I did get a special import from the Neighpon region.” A box flew out from under his seat and onto the glass case in front of him. “Wanna have a look?”
“You know it!” I rushed over and opened up the box. I nearly had a heart attack from excitement when I saw what was inside. I looked up at the owner. “Book End, you’re not messing with me are you? This is real, right?”
“Read through it yourself... after you pay for it.” I slammed down a bunch of bits on the glass case.
“I’ll take the whole box!”
~~~
“You mind explaining why it’s eleven thirty and breakfast isn’t ready?” Summer complained as I trotted in the door.
“Sorry Summer,” I looked back and pulled the box off my back, “but I got something really special today.”
“Oh this should be good,” Summer said with a sarcastic tone as she trotted over and looked in the box. I saw her eyes fill with joy and I knew I had her hooked. She looked back up at me. “Really?”
“Yup!” I pulled up three pieces of the box’s contents with my a hoof and my wing. “They finally remade DBZ and One Piece as pony versions! They even launched a new Shonen Jump Equestria! It’s got both the old series and new pony based manga!”
“Oh my god! They could have Black Butler soon!” Summer bounced around the clouds in excitement.
I was a little less enthralled about her last comment. “Eh, I think I’ll leave that story up to you. But have fun looking in there while I make breakfast.”
“Oh, you don’t really need to,” Summer cooed as she nuzzled me. “I think you already got enough.”
“It’s all good. Besides, we’ll need our energy for tonight.”
“That’s right, everypony is going to be there after all.”
“That’s right!” I said as I slammed a frying pan onto the stove. “It’s a big night and we’re going to enjoy it!”
~~~
Everything was dark. But I could hear everypony else talking. These sort of things were always like that, so loud you could barely hear yourself think. But right now, it was pretty quiet, everypony was waiting in anticipation.
“This is going to be awesome!” Pint exclaimed. “I’ve always wanted to go to one of these.”
“Bet you didn’t expect to go to it looking like this though,” Sam said... well, I guess it would be proper to call him Snow Fall now. I was pretty sure he was smiling in the darkness.
“It’s pretty awesome that you got us a royal box though,” Dawn said as she used her horn to light up the area around her a little.
“It’s nothing.” I shrugged my wings. “I just asked Celestia for a small favor.”
“Don’t take all the credit!” Dash exclaimed. “We wanted to see this too!”
“It... it’s not going to be too loud right?” Fluttershy nervously asked. Musical notes began to fill the air and the crowd cheered in unison.
“You’re about to get your answer,” I replied. The stadium was flooded with light as the main stage was filled with magic and fireworks. It had been my first time seeing the band as ponies, hell, it’d been my first time at one of their concerts. But they were doing their part in the conversion movement as well. Their “Run, Neon Pony” concert ran on both Earth and Equestria and was intended to run until Equestria fully overtook Earth. The tour also served as a sort of traveling conversion bureau on Earth. People could get free seating by converting at wherever the band was playing. A lot of other musicians were part of the tour, but this was the band I’d really wanted to see.
The musical notes continued as the singer trotted forward with a mike levitating in front of him. From our seats, I could see a mike and a flower graced his flank. Heh, makes sense . Then the singer sang and it was amazing. “Coming out of my cage and I’ve been doing just fine... ”
~~~
“That was so awesome!” Dash squeed as she looped through the air.
“Damn straight!” Pint smiled. “Wish the others could have been here though.”
“Eh,” Sun shrugged, “I’m sure they’ll see the tour some day. Who knows, maybe they already saw it before even we did.”
“Actually,” Sky said behind us, “we got to see it too.” He was standing right next to Forest.
“Sky! Forest!” Neon tackled and hugged both of them. “I thought you were back on Earth! What are you doing here?”
“Why don’t you ask her?” Forest said through heaving; Neon could give quite strong hugs. We all turned around to see...
“Luna?!” Everypony said in surprise. The blue alicorn had somehow managed to appear without any of us noticing. Alicorns seemed to like doing that.
‘Yes, um, hello everypony.” Luna awkwardly waved a hoof at us. “That was an enthralling concert wasn’t it? I don’t think I’ve ever heard anything like it.”
“Um, right,” Pint replied. He was as freaked out as the rest of us. “It was pretty cool. But what brings you all the way out here?”
“Can a pony not enjoy a simple night on the town?” Luna smiled before her face grew serious again. “However, sister would also like to invite you to the castle to discuss a certain matter.”
“It’s nothing serious?” Neon asked in a nervous tone.
“You shall see when you get there.” Luna’s horn started to glow.
“Ah nuts!” I quickly turned to Summer. “Make sure you leave the door unl–”
I blinked and then I was in Cantelot’s Royal Hall. I rubbed my head to try and get things to focus. “Geez, five years and teleportation still disorients me. “
“I apologize about that,” Celestia said as she trotted over to greet us. “I take it you have all been well in your various towns?”
“Yep,” we all replied.
Celestia turned and looked at the Mane Six, who had also been transported with us. “I take it things and Ponyville are going well too?”
“One of the best applebucking seasons yet!” Applejack smiled and tipped her hat to the princess.
“And the Boutique is doing marvelous!” Rarity beamed. “Humans just seem to adore clothing, more than anypony would at least.”
“That is wonderful to hear,” Celestia smiled. “It seems all of you have grown and adapted to new lives better than I could have even imagined.”
“But why did we need to come here?” Sky asked.
“Is it some super duper emergency that only the mega awesome powers of friendship can stop?” Pinkie asked in one breath.
“In a sense, yes,” Celestia replied. She started trotting back and forth. “As you all know, my sister and I have been aware of Earth since we were old enough to control our own powers. However, as magic has permeated Earth, our vision has expanded even further. We can now not only see and cross dimensions to Earth, but we can also see other realities of it.”
“W-what does that mean?” Flutteshy stammered.
“It means she can see alternate realities,” Twilight explained. She then looked up at her mentor. “That’s amazing princess, but what does that have to do with us?”
“Everything. For when I looked into other realms, I saw the entropy once more. I cannot let any realms suffer a fate like that!” Celestia stomped a hoof down to emphasize her point.
“How can we help?” Neon asked.
“The same way my sister and I started the process the saved your world long ago. Tell the stories and instill in other realms the belief in ponies and Equestria.”
“We...” Pint looked around the room, “just tell stories?”
“Yes, your tales of overcoming adversity and learning to live as ponies could be the spark to ignite Equestria in other realities and forever destroy magical entropy! It’ll be just like how my little ponies sparked Equestria in your realm by freeing my sister with the magic of friendship.” Celestia nodded at the mane six.
“Alright!” I clopped my hooves together. “Let’s get some writing done! Um... could maybe Spike or a unicorn help with the actual writing part though?” Yeah, if I’d been a bad writer as a human, my mouth writing was probably one of the worst in Equestria.
~~~
“Okay,” Spike said, quill and parchment in hand. “Ready whenever you are!”
“Hmm,” I tapped a hoof to my muzzle. “I need to think of a title first.”
“Um,” Spike tilted his head a little, “does a title really matter that much?”
“Geez Spike,” I sighed, “I would have thought Twilight would have given you a lecture like this. A title is possibly the most important thing a book can have. Despite what you may have hear, ponies do judge books by the cover. For instance, if I see the words ‘Stephenie Meyer’ on a book I’m gonna avoid it like the plague.”
“What’s a... nevermind.” Spike anxiously tapped at the paper. “But come on, this is gonna take a while anyway and it’s already hard to concentrate with all the jewels that are just waiting to be eaten.”
“Which you don’t get until you finish writing,” Twilight chimed in from upstairs. “But is it really that hard to pick a title?”
“Yes,” I replied. “It’s like picking a name and you know how hard that was for me. Guh, I need to make this something special, something so good that it can literally transcended dimensions and break realities. Ugh!” I facehoofed... hard. Then I realized I just solved my own problem. “That’s it! Of course!”
“What?” Spike and Twilight said in unison.
“This with be the story about the conversion bureaus, how this all happened and how it broke reality! It’s so simple yet perfect!” I looked over at Spike. “Ready?”
“Yep!” Spike dipped the pen in the inkwell and got it primed to writer.
“Okay, here goes. The Conversion Bureau: Reality Break by Eclectic Star.”
~~~
~~~
I slinked back in my chair and took my hands away from my laptop. Man that was a fun. I mean, it’s not quite over, I’ve still got the spinoff, but still, that ending is through the roof! I looked up at the ceiling of my room and over at my posters. Can’t believe I actually wrote that much. I looked down at my hand and flexed each finger individually. “Heh, now that’d be some seriously insane stuff it actually happened.”
I couldn’t see it, but there was a brief twinkle in my box of medical supplies.
Fin
Author's note: wow this has been a fun road to go down, but all journeys must end somewhere. That's not to say the story of reality break is over. There are still a ton of changes in the world that need to be addressed, and they shall be. But for now, thank you all for reading and for the love of Celestia don't drink anything cherry flavored! Thank You!
The Conversion Bureau: Reality Break
Saga 1: Part 1: The Wall is Burning
I hate being sick. On the offset of a cold, I always tell myself, “Whatever, I can handle this, it’s not that bad.” Then my cold gets worse and I just want to crawl into my bed and sleep until the end of time. But I can’t sleep because I’m sick. So I just have to deal with it; I’m too sick to go to class and I’m too sick to sleep. Maybe I take some meds to knock myself out.
That’s the state I found myself in currently. My trashcan was filled with a mountain of tissues and I’d imposed a self-quarantine on myself for the past few days. I’d go out and chat with my friends at dinner, but that was about it as far as social interaction went. Other than that, when I couldn’t sleep, I’d just surf the internet, watching funny videos and frequenting Equestria Daily to see if there was a good fanfic to read.
Yeah, I watched Friendship is Magic , but then again so did all my friends. In fact, they’d been the ones to get me into it. Plus, it was a good way to kill time and let my brain shift to auto-pilot while I read whatever tale someone had put up about Twilight Sparkle and her friends.
A few days into my cold and I got a fever. I wasn’t too concerned though, either because I thought I could take care of myself or my mind was too addled to make proper decisions. After hours of tossing and turning one night, I finally managed to fall asleep.
I really shouldn’t have fallen asleep. I always feel worse when I fall asleep sick. So when I woke up, I knew I was in trouble. I felt hot, way too hot and my stomach seemed to agree with me as its contents wanted out. I rushed to my bathroom and barely made it to the toilet. My only solace in this was that hopefully throwing up would help me feel better.
After my visit to the toilet, I decided it was time to get some medicated sleep. I stumbled over to where I kept my medical supplies, groped my hand around for what I assumed was the cold medicine bottle and measured out what I thought was the right amount. I downed the cup and didn’t even bother putting the lid back on. “Ugh, I hate that stupid fake grape taste,” I complained before I sprawled myself on my bed. I was out instantly.
~~~~
“Sister, are you sure this was right ?” A voice called out somewhere.
“What else can we do? We are running out of time, all of us ,” another voice responded.
“But will they make the right choice? Even if they do, can they live with it? ”
“You have seen the extent of their desires. All we can do now is wait and hope. ”
“Hope? Why was that one of the ideals you didn’t show to them?”
“Because... ”
“Who... who are you? ” I called out to the voices. I could only see darkness, but a vast presence was there. The voices... where had I heard them before?
“Already? That was quite fast, ” The second voice responded. As it spoke, the darkness around its source began to fade, as if a sun were sprouting out of nothing.
“Too fast, ” the other voice cautioned. Its source still remained in darkness. Although, the darkness seemed to be turning a deep blue. “Child, did you truly understand the choice you made? ”
The voices, I knew them... somewhat. I’d heard them on my computer and my tv, but now there was a certain air of falsity too them, like an actor doing an imitation. But that wasn’t the point, those two voices could only belong to two beings. “Wait, are you Lu- ”
~~~
Be-be-beep! Be-be-beep! Be-be-be- I slammed on the alarm clock. “I swear, one of these days I’m just gonna chuck that thing out the window.” I was by definitely not a morning person.
I sank out of my bed. My legs felt wobbly but I didn’t care. I had only one goal in mind. Shower, showers make everything better . Forget about caffeine or energy drinks, hot water was where the real wake up call was. I slumped a hand against the bathroom door and pulled it open. My hand felt weird too, but I just thought it was the cold making me feel weird.
I got into the shower stall and let the hot water flow. Can I just stay here for the rest of the day? It’d make life so much easier. I reached for the soap, but it fell out of my hand. “Damn it,” I reached my hand out again to grab for the soap that was right in front of my eyes. Only my hand was brown.
I think the hue of my hand should have only been a minor problem though, seeing as I wasn’t even looking at a hand. That’s a wing . What I thought had been my hand was instead a brown feathery wing. Apparently it was quite prehensile, as it could open a door and loosely grasp a bottle of soap. For a few long seconds, as the water continued to cascade down on me, I could only stare in shock at the wing. Now, I’m not a big screamer, so luckily my panicked screams probably wouldn’t wake up my roommates.
After a few more seconds of panic, I took some deep breaths and looked at the wing again. “Okay, that’s definitely a wing.” I turned to look over to my right as I flexed what I thought was my right arm. Another wing greeted my sight. “Oh god.” I then noticed that everything seemed taller in the shower, or rather that I was shorter. “Dream, this has to be a dream,” I repeated to myself as I rushed out of the shower to look in the mirror. Just when I thought my legs were clear of the little step between the shower and the floor, my foot caught the edge of it. Well, to be accurate, I’d cleared the step with my first two legs, the only ones I thought I had. It had been the additional pair of legs that had gotten tripped up.
My face promptly met the bathroom cabinet. “Oww!” I rubbed my face with the closest appendage at hand out of instinct. However, whatever was touching my face now was definitely not the wings my brain now equated to hands. It felt more like I was kinda moving my leg, but it felt much more flexible than a leg should have been (confusing, but then again this whole situation was frying my brain). The thing cradling my head was rough and solid like a… “Oh no! No, no, no! I was not ready to go insane today!”
As the pain subsided, I opened my eyes and was met with a hoof, brown just like the wings had been. “Okay, just take some deep breaths. You’re probably just running a really bad fever and you’ve been on Equestria Daily too much while you’ve been sick. Just get up look and mirror and snap yourself out of it.”
I slowly got up, glad that whatever my legs had become still acted like legs when I tried to stand up. The only massive difference seemed to be that there were four of them rather than just two. That knowledge didn’t help much when I looked in the mirror though.
Green…why are my eyes are green? No, it wasn’t the muzzle or the brown fur that covered my face and my body that shocked me; it was the fact that my eyes were a different color. Then again, if your eyes suddenly took up two-thirds of your face, they’d probably be the first things you’d noticed also. “Okay, brown coat, green eyes, wings…same hair.” Whether wet or dry, I could definitely tell my hair was still my hair, my parents always did say I’d die with it. “Yep, I’ve definitely snapped. Always thought it’d be because of finals, not a damn head cold.” The mirror reflected back a pony.
I flexed the wings again just to confirm my fears and sighed, “Okay, so I’m a pony, well as far as fever dreams go, I’d never thought I’d pull off this,” the reflection’s muzzle moved as I spoke. “Gotta say,” I looked at myself in the mirror, fully embracing that I was having a delusional dream, “my dreams aren’t usually this vivid, guess being sick helps my subconsci…” I stopped, remembering my earlier collision with the cabinet. “Oh crap, dreams aren’t supposed to hurt.”
Panic! Panic!! Reality isn't working! Now while this could be regarded as the most awesome thing ever (I’m sure a few people online would enjoy this), I wasn’t exactly ecstatic about being a pony. See, I love the normality of reality, the reassurance that the ground is solid, the sky is blue, the sun will rise and set, and that ponies are just cartoons. Now, this may sound boring to some people but consider this: what makes life life? It’s that it’s normal, it’s controlled, and there are some perimeters it can’t pass. Right now, I was breaking through those perimeters at mach infinity.
I scrambled for a lifeline, something that would tell me I was still in a dream. “Shaving cream!” I reached out for the canister by the sink and let it fall to the ground; my wing control wasn’t on level with my hand-eye coordination. I then gazed intensely at the writing on it. Not just the large brand name, but the small print on the back also. “C’mon! If it’s a dream I shouldn’t be able to read it!” I prayed as the words still came out clearly. It was just some company slogan promising a clean shave and how their product was the best. To me it was a death sentence, any second now I expected to the sky to start falling up and the world to sink into the abyss.
Then another desperate idea came to me. “I’m delusional… that’s it, I’m just seeing myself as a pony because of the cold. I’ll just go to health services and then I’ll…” I stopped, realizing two scenarios could play out if I left my room. One, I’m still human and I’d probably be walking on all fours over to the health service building so even if I did recover I’d still look like a freak. Then there was scenario two. What…what if I actually am a pony? If someone sees me they’ll freak, they’ll call the news, then I’ll probably be sent to some base to be studied until I die. Then they'll dis- NO! Oh dear god no! I’d essentially trapped myself in my room.
“M-maybe this happened to everyone… maybe it’s an epidemic.” Somehow the idea of a mass pony plague actually seemed comforting next to the idea of being a lone pony in a human world. The thought scared me. Did… did I just think that? I looked down at the hooves again. “I-I’m not human anymore.” I stood in the bathroom for a long time just looking in the mirror at the creature I now was. “N-no, I’m still me, I-I’m just sick that’s all.” But I need to know.
I decided to check the news to see what was going on, but I nearly slipped just trying to get out of the bathroom. I grabbed for a towel with a wing to dry off, but once again, my grip was loose so the towel fell to the ground. “Err, it was bad enough dealing with my own delusions, can’t daily life bother me some other time?” I complained to the unresponsive towel. I tried to pick it up again but it kept falling off my wing. “Damn it! How does anypony do this?!” I shut my mouth after realizing what I’d said. Anybody! Anybody!! You’re a human damn it! Ironically, I’d gotten so fed up with the situation that I just grabbed the towel in my teeth and threw it over my back.
But just as I did that, I noticed something quite odd. My entire backside was a singular chocolate brown coat. “Huh, no cutie mark? Ugh, why can’t my mind fill everything out?” Great now I’m getting mad at my own mind, I’m getting counseling if the world doesn’t end. I used the wing to open the door, I could at least do that. But then I stopped again. Oh crap! Rooma- oh wait he’s gone. I thanked whatever deities were listening for having sent my roommate to some frat house for a party last night. “Never thought I’d actually be happy with a fraternity.”
But more important matters were at hand. I rushed over to where the remote and TV were, stumbled, and banged into another cabinet. “Okay I get it!” I yelled to the empty room, “Not a dream, you’ve been very kind in reminding me!” I slouched up and tried to hit the power button, but the feather just brushed to the button’s side. “Oh for…” I tried pushing the button with more force but each time I failed. I tried again with even more force, but it caused the feather I’d come to associate with an index finger to bend oddly. I recoiled from the pain. It felt like I’d bent a finger the wrong way, it was a minor pain, but it still exasperated me further.
“Ugh! Screw this!” I inched the remote closer with my wing and proceeded to hit the power button with my tongue. The TV finally turned on. Guh! This is probably so unsanitary, I’ll probably get sick all o- I stopped and took a breath. My nose wasn’t stuffy anymore and my throat felt perfectly normal… well as normal as a pony’s throat would feel I guess. Before I had time to ponder my instantaneous recovery more, I remembered the task at hand. Using my tongue again, I pressed two more buttons and the TV flicked over to one of the major news stations. Come on mass panic, chaos in the streets, something outside of the normal.
“… and here we can see the president clearly eating his pizza with a fork and knife. We must ask ourselves, how American is our president if he doesn't even know how to eat American food?” A droll news reporter droned.
“You’ve got to be kidding me. People are turning into ponies and you’re discussing eating habits?” A great fear was now growing in my mind; if this shtick was getting on the air that meant a slow news day, worse, it meant it was a normal news day. I sat through the BS opinion piece and waited for the next segment to start.
“Coming up we go live to the scene of a shocking event…”
“Okay, this has gotta be it, people waking up as ponies or something, c’mon!”
“…the wildfire in Utah, who’s to blame? We’ll go live right after the break.”
I didn’t even bother turning the TV off, I just slumped my head down. “Oh god, it… it’s just me.” Seven billion people in the world and I felt incredibly alone. Actually, correction, six point nine billion people and one pegasus. I was alone. “N-n-no, I-I’m just sick, this is just my mind playing tricks on me… I… I’ll prove it!”
I stumbled over to the door but stopped, remembering my earlier thoughts. “I know, I’ll call someone, yeah, I’ll call them, tell them I’m really sick and need help. They’ll see I’m clearly not right in the head and they’ll dispel all this madness and get me to a hospital. Now who can I trust?” I searched my mind for a friend and decided almost instantly, “Mary.”
Mary had been a good friend of mine since the start of school. We didn’t share classes, but we went to all the same clubs. Sucked that she had a boyfriend, but right now that really didn’t matter. After a few more stumbles(it wasn’t even that far from the door to where my phone was) I reached over and scooted my phone closer. I’d loved my iphone before, but now I was ready to smash it as I repeatedly tried to type my password in with my tongue.
After about five tries, my tongue needed a break. Exasperated, I looked around the room again to make sure nothing was off. Everything still looked normal: bed, posters, everything. Then I saw my alarm clock… or what was left of it. Evidently, the hardness of hooves also came with increased leg strength, as the clock was now just a broken pile of wires and plastic. “Great, I’ll need to get a new clock too.”
Then I saw an even worse sight: my glasses were still normal. Now I don’t have the worst eyesight, but the world looks pretty fuzzy to me on the normal basis. I glanced up at my roommate’s posters on the other side of the room just to confirm my worries. Yep, still blurry, guess it’s just a part of me . Inwardly, I was somewhat happy, my senses were still pretty much the same. My body and how it moved may not have been human anymore, but at least I still felt human.
I tried a few more times on the phone and finally managed to unlock it. “Finally, guh, I’ll be tasting plastic for a week.” With improved tongue control, I managed to pull up Mary’s number and put it on speakerphone. I hoped she didn’t have an early class.
For a few anxious seconds I waited as the phone rang. Suddenly, there was a voice. “Hello,” it murmured, it was the sound of someone who’d just woken up, “someone there?”
For a few more seconds I was silent, but I reassured myself that Mary was a friend and that she’d help. “M-mary, it’s John.”
“John? Why are you calling so early?”
“Look, I… I don’t think I’m well… I think I might need to go to the hospital.”
“Oh my gosh! Are you sure?” The voice was much more alert now. “You’re not contagious are you?”
“I…” I awkwardly looked behind myself as I flapped my wings, “I don’t think so.”
“Okay, I’ll be right over.”
“Thanks and please don’t,” the line cut off before I could finish, “freak out.”
Alone in my room again, I decided to try and get used to my body and avoid any more falls while I waited. Mary lived in a different dorm, so it’d take her a bit to get over to my room. I acted like I was moving my right arm and my right wing responded. But it wouldn’t bend or move exactly like an arm. The more I flexed it, the more distraught I became. It’s not an arm, it’s not even something a human would have. Legally an adult and I felt like crying. I was a stranger in my own body.
Then there were my legs. When I’d gotten up, I’d moved them out of instinct, but now when I tried to move my legs, only my forelegs responded. They were now starting to feel like a mix of an arm and a leg. I could bring them up to touch my face and even scratch the back of my head. But they were still touching the ground when I stood and that was what legs did, not arms.
The hindlegs were a much bigger issue. My conscious attempts to move them only resulted in me almost bucking my bed. I eventually decided to walk with my eyes closed and just not think the additional pair of legs was there (not an easy task since they kept dragging on the carpet). But if I just imagined myself back in my normal body, I was able to, after a few more stumbles, get the hang of walking. At least I was getting somewhere.
That was when I heard a knock at the door. “John? It’s Mary, are you okay?”
“Be there in a minute,” I shouted back before I quickly bit into my bed covers and draped them over my body. Then I went over to the door. “Okay, I’m about to open the door… just promise me you won’t flip.”
“Okay… but what’s going on?”
“That’ll depend on what you see.” I used a wing to pull the door open slightly and then hid under my covers.
“John?” Mary called out as she entered my room, she didn’t notice me or the covers I was under at first. Unfortunately, that meant she also stepped right where my tail was.
“Oww!” I cried out from under the sheets. It felt like the hair was being ripped from my… well, given my tail’s location, I’ll leave the guesswork up to you.
“John? Why are you under your sheets?”
“First make sure that door is closed, I don’t want anyone else to see this.”
“Okay.” There was a quizzical tone in her voice as she made sure the door was closed. “So what’s the big deal? You actually sound better than you’ve been for the past few days.”
“I know but… but I think something is messing with my head. I… I’m seeing things… I think. That’s why I need you to check.”
“How can I help with that?”
“Because,” I started to shift out of the covers, “I need to know whether I’m going crazy or the world is.” I completely slipped out of the covers and revealed myself fully to Mary. I even flexed my wings to make sure all my fears could be put to rest. Mary just stood there dumbfounded, slowly taking in what she was looking out, her mouth was gaping open in shock. “Well? What do you see?”
“John… you have wings.”
“Oh shit.”
The Conversion Bureau: Reality Break
Saga 1: Part 3: God save the Queen
The London streets were swarming with people. Some were wearing Guy Fawkes masks while others held up signs. Many of the signs read, “We are the 99%!” while others called for lower tuition. Students from various schools made up a good majority of the crowd.
David was among the group of protesters. He didn’t really hate the government, he just had more important issues to deal with: friends, family, work. Work. That was what had driven him to the protest today. He shivered a little; it was a cold Thursday morning.
Mum, god bless her soul, can’t afford this. That was what David had thought when he’d first heard about the tuition hike. If only dad were still around. David’s father had passed away when he was just a lad. But he and his mum had worked hard to earn a living and put David through school. But now? Mum can’t work that hard, no human can.
David reassured himself that he was at the protest for her, not to protest the government. He just didn’t want them to raise the tuition. He raised his crudely constructed sign that read, “Don’t raise tuition!” It was simple, but David thought it got the message out. His sign was met by others in the air, all of them shook violently in opposition to the government.
Then the signs near the front of the line wavered and fell. A voice came over a loudspeaker. “Attention protesters, we respect your right to protest, but we will not allow violence in Her Majesty’s city! Cease and desist immediately!
Bloody bastards! First they raise tuition and then say we can’t protest!? Damn the lot of them! What violence have we- A gunshot broke David’s thoughts. It hadn’t come from the front of the line though. It had come from the back of the line. “My god!” David fearfully turned to a protester next to him. “Someone brought a gun! I thought this was just a peaceful protest!”
“Peaceful until the pigs show up!” The protester responded. “Wish I’d brought my own weapon now!” As he said that, he took the cardboard off his protest sign and looked at the sharp end of the stick. “Think this’ll hurt?”
Mad, they’ve all gone mad! The police! They think I’m one of these loonies! I gotta get out of this mess! David started to dart out of the protest line and towards the back-alleys. As he moved, he saw the police in their riot gear moving about the chaotic crowd. Some were tasering the protesters while others were launching tear gas grenades. The grenades were the worst. David was even near any of the launched grenades, but his throat and eyes were starting to sting. Just as his vision began to blur, he caught sight of a back alley. Almost there, next time I’ll just send a le-
He felt something hit him in the side. He looked down and saw a hole in his shirt. There was a rapidly growing red stain on his shirt now as well. “Bloody hell.” The police never used legitimate firearms, only tasers or tear gas, or rubber bullets. But never real bullets, the shot could have only come from one of the protesters. David clutched his side and stumbled into the alley. “Damn! Damn, damn, damn!” He slumped against a trashcan. He was losing blood too fast.
“Can’t let mum see me like this. Gotta get to a hospital.” He stumbled forward but his foot slipped and he fell down some stairs. They only led to an abandoned building. No help was coming for David. “Oh god,” he prayed, “please help me.”
There was a bright flash and then there was a pint and a shot glass by David. The pint was filled with a purple liquid that seemed to move on its own. There was also a letter next to it. David looked in curiosity at the parchment as he picked it up and tried reading it. Death must want to play a joke on me.
“Young one ,” the letter began.
~~~
“Heh,” a dribble of blood ran down David’s chin, “I’ve been watching too many cartoons.” One of David’s mates had gotten him into My Little Pony. At first he thought how silly it was for grown men to be watching cute little ponies, but then he’d watched more and more. It was a better alternative than drinking, he had done plenty of that. He’d made Lesson Zero his go-to episode whenever he felt over-stressed. Somehow seeing Twilight Sparkle freak out made him feel a little better.
“Well it’s definitely a nice way for Death to greet me,” he said as he poured himself a shot. “Mum’s gonna be pissed. Cheers!” He downed the shot of purple.
~~~
It was dark at first, but then the darkness gave way to the concept of a vast grassy field. “Huh, no pearly gates?” He looked around at the field. The concept of grass below him felt warm and soft.
Then a voice in the sky called out. “Child? ”
“Y-yes Lord? ” Huh, didn’t expect god to have such a feminine voice, but then again god is god, he can do whatever he wants. He looked up and saw a multi-colored sphere in the sky.
“Sister, he thinks you’re his deity ,” came another voice, its source was a dark moon-like sphere.
“Child, I am not your deity. But I feel you should know who I am. ”
“Lord, why are you acting like Celestia and Luna? I wasn’t committing idol worship with them I swear!” Oh Lord, what if he sends me to the pit with all the sinners?! Oh crap, what if he can hear me think?!
“Child, calm yourself, ” came Luna’s voice, “you are neither being judged nor are you dead... in a sense. But you have been called to a higher purpose. ”
“What is it Lord? ”
“Please, ” Celestia interjected, “just call us Celestia and Luna, or Princesses if you feel formal. ”
“Yes, your highness... but are... are you really the Princesses from the show? ” He knew it wasn’t proper to question the Lord, but he had to find out why he had assumed such odd forms and voices.
“Neigh child, ” Luna replied, “we... all of Equestria is much grander than any show could ever describe. ”
“But I must admit, ” Celestia took over, “you humans finally came very close to representing Equestria with your ‘show. ’”
“‘Finally? ’” David asked.
“Yes, ” Celestia continued, “for eons we’ve tried to prepare you for our coming, but results have been mixed. ” Celestia’s sphere seemed to darken a little.
“What do you mean? ”
“Our initial exposure to your world was a disaster, ” Luna said.
“Sister, please don’t be so rough, it wasn’t your fault. ”
“Regardless, it was still a failure. ” Luna turned her attention back to David, “Tell me child, are you familiar with a land called Atlantis? ”
“Yes, your highness, but it was just a tale I heard when I was little. ”
“It is no tale, ” Luna continued, “it was our first attempt to directly try to coexist with humans. We thought we could live side by side... ” Luna stopped for a moment.
“Sister, you don’t need to continue ,” Celestia’s voice was now filled with concern.
“No I must, he must know so that he doesn’t repeat our mistakes! ” Luna’s voice was harsh now. “Child, do you know what happens when you stay underwater too long? ”
“You have to come up for air ,” David replied. What an odd question to ask, I was expecting more “what sins have you committed? ”
“Imagine not being able to come up for air though? That is the death sentence we... I gave to the ponies who came to Earth with me. ” The concept of the sky above Luna’s sphere darkened and began to rain. “I went with them into this world. I wanted to make sure my little ponies were safe and I didn’t want sister to disregard her own duties. At first things went well, almost too well. People back then, like you, thought we were gods. They offered us food, drinks, even their women to us. I quickly put a stop to the latter sacrifice, but other than that things seemed fine. For a while we lived in harmony, our slowly growing land a utopia to both man and pony.”
“Then my ponies started to get sick. At first they couldn’t utilize magic, or fly, or grow things. But then it got worse, they became pale and lost their color. Then... ” the rain over Luna’s sphere grew into a torrent, “then they would just disappear into the air! I still remember the first one I saw, a unicorn who had wanted to see a new world. She came to me asking to go back to Equestria. I was about to send her when...when...”
“Sister, please! It wasn’t your fault! ” Celestia’s sphere pulsated faster as it seemed to inch closer to Luna’s sphere.
“It was! And I’ll have to live with it! ” The rain over Luna’s sphere calmed down a bit. “But I have to carry on .” Luna turned her attention to back to David again. He didn’t know how to respond anymore. “Then the humans started getting sick as well. Just as we couldn’t live without magic, they couldn’t live with it. Just being around us was poison to them. They fell even faster than the ponies. No one came to the new land then, they said it was cursed. I sunk it and returned home. But even I hadn’t escaped unscratched. I so desperately wanted control of the situation that I... I raise my hoof against my own blood. Sister had every right to banish me. ”
“Sister, ” now Celestia’s sphere darkened a little, “I’m so sorry, I didn’t know what else to do. ”
“It is all right, we are here now. That is what matters. My voyage may have been a disaster, but it had a silver lining. Child, I may have left your world in disgrace, but at least a connection between our world and your world was established. After my incident, we decided to prepare the world for Equestria through ideas first. Mythology, oral traditions, written books; they all contained hints of our world. Then in most recent times, we have poured more effort into sending images of our world to yours.”
“The show? ” David asked.
“Yes, the show was Equestria’s and Earth’s first united effort. After centuries of rough guessing, the closest version to Equestria was obtained.”
“Wait! So does that mean Discord is real as well?” The thought of the daconequss being real sent a twinge of fear down David’s spine.
“Neigh child, he was merely our greater fear given a form you humans found suitable, ” Celestia responded this time.
“Greater fear? ” David was nervous now. What could be worse than a god of chaos?
“The creators of that show, ” Celestia continued, “were very meticulous in expressing our fears for your world. Discord and the wendigos almost perfectly expressed the danger your world is in. If magic is not restored soon, then your world, your universe will come apart, reduced to the primordial chaos from whence it spawned. ”
“Oh my god. ”
“But do not fret my little pony, ” Celestia’s voice was motherly now, “you have taken the first step in saving both our worlds. With every new pony, every use of magic, you bring more magic into your realm. ”
“But don’t ponies need magic to survive? ” David didn’t want to survive a gunshot only to die from lack of magic.
“Child ,” Luna spoke, “my stay in your realm lasted over ten years. It was not until the eighth year that the devastation began. It is both a blessing and a curse that there is not that much time available to us. ”
“What do y- ugh! ” David felt the conceptual grass shake under him.
“Darn! Sister! ” Luna called out to Celestia, “We have wasted too much time! He is about to awaken! ”
“Child! ” Celestia called out to David, “You are about to awaken as a pony. Warn and convert others and find the other seeds, the ke- ”
~~~
In place of his side bleeding, now David’s whole body felt a little sore. “Ugh, what? What happened?” He looked around and saw he was in an alley. “Christ, did I get wrecked a...ga...in...” The shot glass and the pint were still sitting next to him. “The hell? I thought...” he got up on his legs... all four of them. “Oh Lord, that wasn’t a dream!” He slowly looked down at his feet and saw hooves. “Bloody Hell!! I’m a bleeding horse!” He stumbled backwards and tripped on a pile of his clothes. They were torn and what was left of his shirt was covered in blood.
“My god, I get shot and then reality goes loony on me! And these stupid clothes!” The clothes were repulsive to touch. The shirt was only 25% genuine cotton, while the jeans weren’t much better: they were 35% genuine cotton. Both had low quality cotton though, it had been grown from genetically modified seeds. The soil quality for the cotton was also abys-
How do I know this? A stream of information was flowing into David’s brain about the clothes. The shirt’s cotton had been grown in Bangladesh, while the jeans’ cotton had come from Mexico. Both crops of cotton had been harvested using automated ma- Stop it! David backed away from the clothes. As soon as his hooves left the clothing, the information stream stopped. “What in god’s name was that?” He focused and lifted up his right forehoof. “It’s like the Earth was ta-” He craned his neck back to look at his body: no wings. He brought his hoof to his forehead and moved it around: no horn.
“Earth pony... yeah that makes sense.” David had always thought unicorns and pegasi in the show were neat, but not really relatable. But Earth Ponies were, they had to work hard to uphold their part of Equestria, or at least Ponyville. Winter Wrap Up showed that, minus a little help from the pegasi, Earth Ponies could and had wrapped up winter on their own (albeit a little late according to the show). Jesus, what am I thinking? I’m probably still bleeding out in this alley and I’m just having a delusion before I finally die.
“Ok Death! I’m ready whenever you are!” He called out and got no reply. “Um, is there something I need to do? Am I a ghost now?” A ghost and a pony apparently. Jeez, and I thought that Burton bloke’s afterlife was strange. “Um, do you want me to say my goodbyes or something?” Still no answer. David looked back at his new body again. It was red with a white tail that had a black stripe running through it. His hair was probably a similar color. Well god, Celestia or whoever isn’t responding anymore, guess I better go say goodbye to mum.
He began to stumble over to the stairs but then looked back at the potion. “Well, they did say it was important. He went to grab the pint but realized he didn’t have hands anymore. “Shoot, whoever is out there must have a funny way of testing the dead. Carry a magic potion without any hands. Next thing you know, I’ll be asked to pull a sword out of stone!” David’s complaining wasn’t moving the potion.
“Ok... hmm, maybe if I grasp it with my mouth?” He inched forward and was about to bite into the pint’s handle when he stopped and backed away. “No, if I grab it that way, when I turn my head it’ll spill. Ok I just need to think!” But nothing came to his mind. “Darn it!” He stomped at the ground. Only he didn’t feel any of his hooves resound with the cement. Rather, he felt something lightly bounce off the ground behind him. “The hell?” He looked back and repeated the same thought he had of stomping the ground. His tail whipped the ground in response. “Yep, if I’m not dead then I’m going to the loony bin.” He focused more and got his tail to swish left and right. It felt like an additional limb.
“Hmm, ok, if I can hold up that shot glass then I can hold up the pint.” He trotted over to the small shot glass and focused on moving his tail. It bent forward and knocked the cup down. “No, it needs to curl around it.” He brought his tail by the fallen glass but it kept slipping. “Err, screw that damn thing!” he smacked the cup against the wall but it didn’t break. He didn’t care, he just wanted to master using his tail. There was one other thing he could test it on: his clothes. He turned back around and focused on picking them up.
As soon as his tail touched his clothes, the stream of information came back to his head. He retracted his tail back. “Darn it! Come on David, push past it.” He tried again. He heard the information in his head, but this time he pushed it back and focused on the picking of the clothes. He could feel every stitch in the shredded shirt and where the cotton had been spun. Focus! Just gotta... yes! I did it! The shredded shirt was now firmly in his tail’s grasp, a little bit of blood dripped from it.
“Ok step one complete.” He turned back over to the potion. “Now I just have to...” He realized he should probably try walking up the stairs first. “Ok,” he looked at the stairs with determination, “left hoof,” he brought his left forehoof up to the first step, “right hoof,” he did the same with his right forehoof. Ok, so far so good. Now just to- “Oof!” His attempt to move his left hindleg had instead moved his foreleg. He tripped himself up and hit the cement. But the pain quickly faded. “Ok, let’s try that again.”
~~~
David’s body hurt now. He’d hit the stairs many times. Oddly, he wasn’t bleeding and he didn’t feel any broken bones. He was still covered in bruises though. “Crap! This afterlife sucks! It may not be hell, but damn!” He’d managed to make it up almost all the stairs, only to trip on the second to last one and tumble back down to the bottom again. “Heaven better give me a medal or something for climbing these bloody things!” He made one more attempt. He slowly put one leg in front of the other. Front left, front right, back left, back right. He repeated the mantra in his head as slowly climbed the stairs. Then he was back in the alley.
“Ha-ha! Yes! Take that stairs!” He did a little victory trot. “My god, this is so much easier than those stairs!” On a level street, he could move his legs in unison, instead of the rhythm game stairs turned walking into. “Oh!” he stopped, “the potion can’t forget that.” He trotted back over to the stairs and looked down. “Ok, you can climb up stairs, now you just need to cl-” David tumbled down the stairs. “Level ground Lord! That’s what I want in heaven please!” He got up and rubbed his sore flank with his tail. “Ok, lets get out of this pit and say goodbye to mum.”
He slid his tail through the pint’s handle and firmly curled it. The pint was much lighter than he thought it would be. “Ok, you climbed the stairs before, just gotta do it again.” All the way up the stairs, he clenched the pint as hard as possible.
“Phew!” He let out a deep breath when he finally made it out of the stairs. “Never again.” But at least now he was free of that torture. “Now to go find mum.” He walked out from the dark alley and into the streets. Between being knocked out (killed? ) and climbing the stairs, David had spent the entire day in the alley. The high walls had blocked out a good majority of the sun. But he had noticed that things looked different, more colorful and vivid.
The street confirmed that the world looked very different now. All the colors of the world were vastly enhanced. The lights from cars and shops was also enhanced, it gave David a slight headache. He started to trot in the direction of his family’s home. He knew the London streets well and the house was only a few blocks east of Piccadilly Circus. He kept trotting in that direction until he passed a man on the streets.
“Hell, I only had a drink, darn must have eaten something strange,” the man looked in puzzlement at David.
Oh come on, he’s dead, but he gets to stay human? Wait, maybe he knows something about this. “You dead too?”
The man rubbed his forehead, “Those bastards must have spiked my drink, a talking horse... I’m sure I’ll get a laugh out of this once the hangover clears up.”
“Maybe you got poisoned?” Did he not know he was dead?
“Why would my mates poison me? I mean, they definitely slipped something in my drink, but... wait I got it!”
“You do?”
“Yeah, this is one of those ‘trick blokes on film things’ isn’t it? C’mon!” The man yelled out to the street. “Where are the cameras?”
“Hey shut up ya bloody drunk!” came a voice.
“Yeah, the sun just set, piss off!” came another voice. Now heads were turning towards the man and David.
“Hey, what the hell is that?”
“Kinda looks like a horse.”
“Too small to be a horse, a pony maybe?”
“Ponies don’t have red coats and white hair, it’s like something outta the telly.”
Oh shit! All these people... they can’t all be dead! That... that means... “Oh god, I’m a pony!”
“And I’m the king of England!” The man replied. David didn’t listen, he darted for home. Mum, gotta get to mum! Oh Jesus help me! The dream, Celestia, Luna, the apocalypse! It’s all real! He didn’t know where his friends were. They’d come with him to the protest but he’d lost them in the crowd. Then the police had come and then there was the gunshot and... “Ugh! Nothing makes sense anymore! Oh mum, what am I gonna do?!”
He crossed through the West End in almost no time. Then he was in a district of townhouses. His mother occupied one of them. The familiar door was right in front of him. But he was scared to ascend the steps. How? How do I tell her? “Hey mum, ponies are real, I’m a pony now and you need to become one too or else the world will end.” Yeah, that’ll work out. What if she thinks I’m some horrible monster using her son’s voice” The thought almost made David bolt from the house. “No, she’s my mum, she’ll love me not matter what. Please god, Luna, Celestia, someone give me strength."
“David!” He heard a lock turn. “Oh, I saw the news, I was so worr-”
“Wait mum! Before you open the door you should know something. Promise me you won’t open the door until I say it’s ok!”
“Did... did something happen?” Her voice was nervous now.
“I...I got hurt, but then I got better, but it cost me a lot.”
“David, if money’s an issue you know I’ll do anything I can to help you.”
“No mum, it’s not that... god, money sounds so trivial now.”
“Then what is it?”
“I got hurt really badly and the only way to fix it was to change.”
“Change into what?”
“Do you still believe I’m your son?”
“Of course I do, I know that serious tone anywhere. It always breaks my heart when you talk like this,” David’s mum sniffled. “I just want to see you happy.”
“Ok, then...then you can open the door.” The light of his house flooded his eyes as his mum stood looking at him. “I’m sorry mum.”
“D-david?” her voice trembled.
“It’s me mum.”
“What... what happened?”
“I got shot... I thought I was dead... but the people, they saw me. I was scared.” He sounded like a little child now, not a twenty year old man. Then his mum hugged him. “Mum?”
“I haven’t seen that look on your face since your father died,” she cried. “Oh David, what’s going on?”
“I think it might be the end of the world and I got picked to stop it.”
“What?”
“I never told you, but my mates and I, we watched this show up ponies... things like what I look like. Only it wasn’t a show, it was message to us... to be prepared.”
“Oh my god! Who knows about this?”
“I don’t know, but Celestia... the pony’s majesty, she told me there were other ‘seeds’ as well.”
“W-what are you going to do?”
“I don’t want to lose you mum, I don’t want to lose anyone, not after dad.” He set the pint down. “This is the stuff that changed me... I think it may be the only way.”
“Ok, ok, oh David, you must have been so scared.”
“I was mum, I was. I was scared you would be afraid of me, think I was a monster.”
“Never!” Her hug tightened, “No matter what you look like, you’re still my son.”
“Mum,” David cried a little.
“Shh,” his mum petted him, “I know I know, we’ll get through this, like we always have. Just come in and get some rest. We can talk when you’re ready. Do you need any help getting up the stairs?”
“Heh, you have no idea.”
End Part 3
The Conversion Bureau: Reality Break
Saga 3: There and Back Again
Ugh... what day is it? Wait, Celestia and Luna raise the sun and the moon here, right? Huh, guess the very idea of hours equaling days can be scrapped. Screw it, at least everything has stopped spinning and my head has stopped pounding.
Okay, first rule of survival in Equestria. Do not, I repeat, do not, go to Pinkie’s parties without proper preparation. I was never a big party person, but I did at least go out to a few of them (there’s a time and a place for everything, it’s called college). I don’t think a rave regular would come out of Pinkie’s parties unscathed. Seriously, aside from a feeling of contentment, I don’t remember a good chunk of the the last three days, er, um the last three times the sun went up and down.
I was currently sprawled out on reclined couch thing. I think somepony was on another couch thing near me. I couldn’t really tell since my glasses were currently somewhere else. “Ugh, who am I talking to?”
“I don’t know,” said a voice that I’m pretty sure was Sun’s. “Are you a princess?”
“Do I sound like one?” I brought a hoof to my head both to check that I hadn’t gained a horn and to shield my eyes from the light. It was currently streaming through the large windows that lined the room we were in. “Kinda wish I could make the sun go away for a little though.”
“Silly!” The doors to the room burst open and Pinkie popped in, pushing a cart. “Only the Princesses can do that!”
“Pinkie!” Sun yelled. “Not so loud.”
“Amen to that!” Forest said from behind Sun’s couch. Alvarez–yeah, that was his name before, I think – changed his name sometime at least two days ago. I couldn’t for the life me set an actual time for when the change happened. Huh, guess I’m the last seed with a human name. I sighed a little.
“Sorry,” Pinkie whispered as she pushed the cart over. “I just thought it’d be nice to have some of my super-special-party-recovery breakfast.” Pinkie stopped and pulled the lid of one of the dishes on the cart.
“Tacos?” Forest asked. He groaned and got up from behind the couch and trotted over to the dish. “They have tacos here?”
“Yep!” Pinkie smiled. “My own hay-oat-corn tacos! The ultimate party cure!” Pinkie lifted up the lid on another dish. “Plus cherrychongas!” Pinkie lifted another lid. “And medical scrabble!” Pinkie was somehow balancing on one hoof while holding the three dish covers.
To me, the first dish looked like a white splotch, the second one looked like a red and pink blob, and the third dish looked like a blur of yellow and green. But the smell, oh man, once more, smell was the thing that made my stomach grumble. Guess it was fitting that we were in a castle, the stuff smelled like something royalty would eat. “It’s not gonna have us bouncing off the walls is it?”
“No, I think we’ve had enough partying. Oh! Princess Celestia also wanted me to tell you something important.”
“Which is?” I asked as I got off the couch. Something glinted in the light. I trotted off the over to it and saw it was my glasses. I with a quick maneuver of my wings, I slipped my glasses on, then I trotted over to the food and grabbed myself a plate.
“She said she’s got some your living areas set up now. Oh! You’re all going to love it! It’s just a hop skip and a jump away from Ponyville!”
“It’s not in that new area?” Sun asked as she trotted over and took a cherrychanga for herself. “Mmm, these are really good!”
“Well, the new place didn’t exist until a few days ago, so how could we have built something there? Oh, and yeah, it took me forever to figure out which tasted better: a cherrychanga or a chimicherry. They’re both good, but who would want to eat a chimicherry for breakfast?”
“Um, riiighhhttt,” Sun replied as she snatched up another cherrychanga.
“So that’s all Celestia wanted to tell us?” Forest asked before munching on the eggs.
“Well you’re gonna need to get your stuff. An empty house is kinda boring.” Pinkie stuffed the eggs and a cherrychanga into a taco and ate it in one bite.
Crap! Home! I completely forgot! Shoot! I need to check on everypony. “When can we leave?”
“As soon as you’re...” I dashed past Pinkie into the hall, “ready.”
I quickly found the exit and took the to the skies. I think the best way to describe flight in Equestria is like being able to photoshop the sky. There’s a cool breeze that blows through the entire place (at least what I’ve explored of it), but I noticed you sort of create your own wind when you fly. It’s like the butterfly effect, the simple act of flapping my wings helped stir the wind currents in Equestria.
I knew exactly where I was flying. The barrier was, well, a barrier. I could easily tell where the magic ended. Still, the flight took a long time, much longer than it had a few days ago. But there was still a mountain range close to the barrier and that odd stretch of land where the sky met the ground. That still weirded me out. I flew close to the portal and took a deep breath. “I’m not getting wet this time.” I was probably a couple hundred feet up in the air when I leapt through to the other side.
A tall wave lapped at my hooves. “Darn it!” I flew higher and saw that I was only about a foot away from the water. “Hmm, that’ll be annoying on future trips. Wonder how big this thing is now.” Before I could examine the expanding sphere, a voice on a loudspeaker called out.
“Attention! This is the United States Coast Guard. We mean no harm. We only wish to contact your leaders.” I saw that the voice was coming from a white ship. There were many other ships by it.
“Geez, just getting more and more welcome parties.” I shivered a little. “I hope I don’t get a celebration on this side too.” I flew over to the lead ship and landed on it. All the crewmen’s jaws dropped. Yep, they’ve got the “I just saw a sentient flying horse” look down to a T. “Um, hi?”
A gruff looking old guy with a scar over his right eyebrow stepped out onto the deck. “Yes, hello. Is there any special greeting your kind ha– wait, weren’t you on TV a few days ago?”
“Heh,” I awkwardly scratched my head, “yeah, probably the first pony to ever stay in the White House.”
“Oh well that makes this easier then if you were human.” The man took off his cap, bent down and held out his hand. “I’m Captain Decken of the U.S.S. Terran.” I shook his hand with a hoof. “It’s a bit of new ship, but I guess we’re all dealing with new things right now.”
“Wait till ya get the hooves, trust me it’s pretty crazy.”
“That time will have to wait until I’m relieved of duty.” Decken furrowed his brow. “Have you come with further instructions on the state of the singularity?”
“Singul– oh,” I looked back at the bubble, “you mean Equestria. Hmm, not sure how much I can say on it. Probably not a good idea for any full humans to go into it. Actually, might be best to stay away from it in general. I’ve dealt with enough magic to know it is some pretty crazy stuff.”
“We’ll consider that in the future.” Decken stood back up and looked down at me. I in turn, flew up to meet him at eye level. “But for now, is there anything else that realm’s monarch told you?”
“Just to get my stuff packed up. Didn’t expect to be doing that until May when school ended... guess that’s a moot point now.”
“A shame, we were hoping to get some communication going between the President and–”
“Me?” A voice boomed from the sky. I looked up and saw two suns in the sky.
“I think you got your wish,” I said as I used a wing to shield my eyes.
“Mother of god! What is that?!” Decken used his cap to cover his eyes.
“Hello human.” Celestia floated down in front of the ship. “I am Princess Celestia, co-ruler of Equestria. Your leader wishes to speak with me?”
“Y-yes, your, uh, majesty.” Decken was sweating bricks. Can’t really blame the grizzled old dude for freaking out.
“Very well, I’m sure there are a lot of questions that need to be asked and answered”
“We have a jet ready to take you to meet with the President in the capital.”
“That won’t be necessary.” Celestia’s horn started to glow as she looked at me. “Bring whatever you want to Equestria, my little pony. I look forward to seeing everypony back there.”
“Right.” I started to fly away from the boat. I didn’t want to get caught in Celestia’s transportation.
“Captain?” Celestia asked Decken. “Are you required to stay here?”
“No, your majesty. My orders were to wait here until contact could be made with you. Other than that, my men just have orders to keep watch on the anomaly.”
“Well then,” Celestia’s horn grew brighter. “I think you should give that report directly. You seem to have done a very good job.” I saw a flash behind me as a flew off towards my home.
~~~
Has the world always been this dull? Okay, maybe it was just the area between California and Arizona that was dull. I mean, it’s pretty much sand dunes and rocks. Still, even the air felt kind of muted and I usually love the desert air. Actually, the air felt both muted and crowded. It was lacking something important, yet at the same time, it was bombarding me with stuff. It was kinda like a bunch of ponies trying to watch one thing at the same time. I kept feeling like I was being pushed back from my space in the sky. Wonder if this is how Dash felt when she was here?
After about an hour and a half or so of flight, my hometown came into view. Unfortunately, I saw a little smoke rising out of downtown. Crap, guess every place had a little unrest. Before I flew home I decided to just check to make sure everything was okay. Hmm, if it’s not too bad, maybe I’ll grab a bite to eat at that pub. Before I could fly down, something tapped me on the shoulder. I turned around to see another pegasus. He had a light blue coat and a blond mane.
“Not a good idea buddy. There’s been a lot of fighting going on downtown over the potion. If anypony sees ya, they might not be too pleased. Wait a minute, you look a little familiar.” My mouth dropped. I recognized the pony’s voice anywhere.
“Sam?! Dude, what the buck?! It’s me, John!” Damn! Going pony made him slim! Can’t believe I didn’t recognize the hair.
“Holy crap! You were on fricking TV! How the buck did I forget that?!” Sam facehoofed.
“Don’t worry about it.” I looked down at my hooves. “I think it’d be a little hard to recognize anypony without talking to them. Still...” I looked at my friend floating in the air. “Looks like you got the hang of the wings pretty fast.”
“Dude, it is awesome! Seriously, the show didn’t do it justice. But you should have seen the look on Amanda and Jeremy’s face when you were on TV. It was priceless.”
“I’m assuming you were just perfectly chill with it?” I asked in a sarcastic tone.
“Well, I might have been a little excited.” Sam swirled a hoof in circles as we talked.
“A little? You’re the first person who ever even brought this stuff up to me. So how’s everypony else doing?”
“Don’t know, my family and I have just been staying at home after we took the stuff. I mean, there’s been chaos everywhere, but overall its been okay.”
“Wait, what are you doing downtown anyway?” Sam’s house was close to mine, and my house was a good thirty minute drive away (don’t know how long that is in flight).
“I was the only one in my family to get wings and my parents got overprotective with all the crazy stuff going on. I kept telling them they itched like hell, but they pulled that all ‘for your own safety’ crap.”
“Yeah, the wings get to you.” I started flying north, Sam followed. “Heh, at least you didn’t quarantine yourself like I did.”
“Huh?” Sam was sweating a little as we flew. Can’t really blame him, my hometown is always hot.
“Reason I was on TV was cause I was one of the first converts, freaked me the buck out. Plus, I didn’t get an explanation for anything because my stupid alarm clock broke up my dream.”
“The one with Celestia and Luna?” Sam turned to me, but accidentally started curving down as he flew. “That was pretty trippy, sucks you missed out on seeing them.”
“Eh,” I shrugged my shoulders rather than my wings, “I think I got enough of both of them over the last few days.” I turned my head and raised my voice. “Acclimate yourself before you go to anything involving Pinkie, she’s equivalent to ecstasy or something else illegal. I’ve been recovering for past... how many days has it been since the bubble went up?”
“You mean the crazy thing in the Pacific? Four days. But what does that have to do with Pi–” Sam stopped flying and looked at me with eyes that were filled with excitement. “You went there didn’t you?!”
“It was just for a litt–” Sam tackled me out of the air. “Sam,you idiot! We’re gonna fall!” We crashed right into an office building. I shook off glass shards as larger glass pieces crunched beneath my hooves. “I did not need that. You okay Sam?” I trotted over and helped my friend up.
“Sorry about that John. Guess I got a little excited.” He flexed his wings and shimmering glass shards fell to the ground. “Still, you lucky pony! You got to go to Equestria! What’s it like?”
“Unbelievable. Heh, I know it’s kinda fitting, but it’s like something out of a TV show. It’s pristine to a level that shouldn’t be possible. Just wait until you try flying sometimes.”
Sam sighed a little and his wings drooped. “I’m still just getting used to them.” A shard of glass fell out of the broken window and down to the street. “I still need a lot of work.”
“You’ll get used to it eventually. So you still gonna keep practicing now?”
“Well, there was one other reason I was downtown.” Sam glanced out into the sky. “I kinda wanted to stock up on some comics, and the downtown shop is the best one.”
“Hmm,” I started hovering in the air, “I’ll need to probably stop by there sometime too.” I looked down at Sam. “You mind going to one stop before that?”
“Where?”
“I’m back in town, I need some food, and I wanna have one last celebration for Earth. I’ve got some restaurants to cover before they’re gone.”
“That why you were flying to the pub?”
“Yep!” I smiled as I flew out the broken window. I’d feel bad about the damage if, you know, the world wasn’t ending. “Now I’m more in the mood for sushi though... darn, not sure if I can eat fish anymore.” I tapped a hoof to my face as I hovered above the ground. “Eh, I’ll just get vegetarian stuff.” I started flying off in the restaurant's direction. I turned my head around when I noticed Sam wasn’t following me. “You coming?”
Sam trotted over to the edge of the building. He kicked a piece of the window to the ground. “Yeah.” He unfurled his wings. “Sorry, little nervous is all.” He slowly flew up to me.
“Eh, Dash says every pegasus is nervous at first.”
“You got to talk to Dash too?!”
“I’ll tell you about it on the way there. Better hurry, they normally close at two.” I rushed off to the sushi bar.
“If they’re open at all,” Sam said as he flew after me.
~~~
“Christ man, and I thought just become a pony was insane.” Sam and I were hovering at the sushi bar. It was too high to stand at and human chairs had once more been the bane of pony relaxation.
“Yeah it was a pretty strange ride, I’m just glad everypony made it out okay.” I sipped some iced green tea through a straw. Best invention ever .
“You think they eat sushi there?” The chef asked. This was one of my favorite restaurants for two reasons: one was that the food was awesome (a little dulled now though, if the appetizer was any indication), the other was that the chef was pretty chill. We still made his mouth drop when we walked in and again when I told him who I was. Luckily, we were the only ones there at the time.
“I don’t think they’d be that big on fish, but hey ya still got ramen, edamame, tofu, and a whole bunch of vegetarian rolls. Who knows? You could be a first in Equestria.” I took another bite of the appetizer; a bunch of pickled vegetables. “Sorry about not using chopsticks.”
“It’s fine, I’m just glad ponies can still eat this stuff.” As he spoke, the chef chopped up some cucumbers. “Heh, kinda funny, you’ve been the only customers today.So what are ya gonna have as a main dish?”
“Sam?” I looked next to my friend.
“I think I’ll just stick with the agedashi tofu.”
“I’ll have the soba. At least with that I don’t run the risk of scorching everything.”
“Coming right up,” the chef replied as he placed the order for the main kitchen to handle.
“Gotta admit,” I looked around the dimly lit restaurant, “I’m just amazed you’re actually open.”
“We’ve been closed for the past few days, trying to sort things out. But we’ve had this place for a while, so we’ll keep it running as long as we can. Actually, any clue how long until that bubble gets here?”
“Can’t tell ya, it did look a little bigger when I left this morning though.”
“Well, I’m just glad things calmed down a few days ago.” The chef passed us a veggie roll.
“They did?” Sam asked as he tried to pick up a piece of the roll, but eventually had to resort to using his mouth.
“Yeah, this place had actually been closed ever since our friend here was on TV.” The chef used his free hand to point at me. “Planning for the future and all that stuff, plus there were some pretty crazy people on the streets. I couldn’t even tell if it was safer to say you wanted to be a pony or not.”
“You run into those weird doomsayers as well?” Sam asked. Now he was using his wings to dip a sushi piece into the soy sauce.
“Which ones? The ones who called ponies devilspawn or the ones who said that Princess was the second coming?” The chef put his blade down. “All of them scared me half to death.”
“That happened here too?” I asked before sipping on my tea some more.
“Wait,” Sam stopped eating his food. “I thought you were just in D.C., California, and Equestria.”
“I still had to fly to California to summon it with everypony else.” I glanced back at my wings for a second. “I kinda had a run in with some cultists.” I shivered a little.”I forgot to tell you that part.”
“Eh,” the chef shrugged, “it might take a bit to get everything ready. With all the power outages we’ve had lately, it’s been a little hard to procure everything. ‘Nother reason we’ve been closed lately.”
“Guess I’ll be telling this story a lot anyways. Well after that stint in D.C. I kinda had to summon a tornado in the middle of...”
~~~
It may not be as good as I remember it, but the food here still rocks. Despite taking caution, the area in front of me was still a mess. Soba sauce was pretty much everywhere. Should just mimicked what Sam ordered, he only got a dirty muzzle from all of this. I sighed. “Sorry about the mess.”
“It’s fine, I’m sure if more ponies come in it’ll be just as messy.” The chef walked out from behind the bar and picked up our plates. “A shame the waitress didn’t show up today. Maybe she already got ponified.”
“Maybe,” Sam mused as he sucked on the coffee candy that usually came with the ch–
Oh crap.
I facehoofed. “Crud! I haven’t had cash on me since god knows when! I’m really sorry, do you need us to clean dishes or something?”
“I think your story and saving the world can count as payment.” The chef smiled at us as we went back down to the ground. “Be sure to stop in again before Equestria gets here though.”
“Thank you so much!” I said as I held to the door open for Sam. “Good luck if you get ponified. Who knows, maybe you’ll get lucky and get a horn.”
“I’ll keep that in mind. Where ya off to now?”
“Home,” I replied and took off into the air with Sam. I really should have learned his name.
~~~
Today should just be renamed “I can’t remember anything” day. After Sam flew back to my house, I made my way home. Too bad my keys were two states over. “Crap, I’m gonna have to fly back to school.” I looked at my house and sighed. “Oh well, I guess I’ll ju–”
“John!” I heard the galloping of hooves and then something tackled me.
“Mom?! Oh god, get off me! Ponies could see you!” She bent down and nuzzled me.
“I was just so worried! Especially when the news covered that flash a few days ago. I was scared I wouldn’t see you until we were there too.”
“How did you get back home anyway?” Mom got off of me and let me stand up. She now had a simple hoof print on her flank.
“Oh, we got to ride Air Force One. Your father tried teleporting, but we all wound up crammed in a D.C. public bathroom.
“Sounds neat. Well at least now that you’re here this’ll make things easier.” We started walking up my driveway to my garage; Mom must have been checking the mail.
“Oh, the dogs will be so happy to see you.”
“They still recognize all of you?” Hmm, another I’ll have to add to “things I haven’t done since I was a human: say hi to my dogs.
“Of course, they’re our dogs after all.” Now this I raised an eyebrow to.
“Well if you say so.” We were now in the garage. I looked over at the rounded door knob attached to the entrance of my house. “Guess you must have gotten better body control to open that?”
“Your father’s magic helped a lot over the past few days, but we’ve managed to get by. But go on, I think they already heard you.” I could hear a scratching sound and some yelping on the other side of the door.
“This is gonna be weird. Oxy! Cloe! It’s me, John!” The scratching increased and the yelping turned into barking as I opened the door. Two black balls of fur jumped into my face. “Guh! Dog tongue right on the mouth.” My dogs kept jumping up at me. I petted them both with my hooves. “Calm down guys.” I looked back at mom. “Guess they do recognize me.”
“Well of course. That reminds me, do you need anything to eat? You must be hungry after all the flying you’ve done... you did just get back, right?”
“I kinda ran into Sam and we grabbed a bite to eat at Iro ,” I replied as I lied on the ground and played with my dogs.
“You went to Iro without me? You know I haven’t been there since winter break.”
“Sorry mom, I just kinda ran into him and I was hungry. Plus, I had to go through downtown anyway.”
“How is Sam anyway?”
“Pegasus, you know, the usual.” Weird thing is that’ll actually be true I guess in a few years, maybe even months.
“Um, well that’s good to hear.”
“Everything is good here though?” I looked around and noticed that the house pretty much looked looked like normal, except for the kitchen, that was a disaster zone. Flour was dusted over everything, dirty bowls filled the sink, and the stove was covered in blackened food. “It looks a little messy.”
“Just trying to figure out how to cook with these things.” Mom waved a hoof and flapped her wings. “Had to throw out all the meat though. I did manage to make some banana nut bread though.”
“Seriously? Where?”
“Oven.” She gestured a hoof over to the machine.
“Oh my god, it’s gonna smell so good in a se–” I was cut off by a blinding light filling the room. Suddenly, dad was there.
“Oh John! You’re back!” He galloped over and gave me a hug. Unfortunately, his bag also hit my right leg.
“Oww!” I pulled away and rubbed the hit area with a hoof. “What are you carrying? A bag a bricks?!”
“Bag of books. Had to teleport all around town to find a store that was open.” Dad patted the bag at his side... wait, is that a saddle bag?
“Why do you have a saddle bag?”
“This?” Dad turned to show the bag fully. It was a dark blue bag with the U.S. seal on it. “Parting gift from D.C., custom made too.”
“Sounds like you’ve had some interesting trips as well. Where is Rachel anyway?”
“Gloating to her friends about being a pony,” mom answered and sighed. “She’s already using your father as a vehicle pretty much.”
“I should have expected as much. Oh well.” I shrugged my wings. “It’ll make packing easier without her yelling about everything.”
“Packing for what?” Dad asked.
“Remember how you wanted to move out once Rachel went to college? Well instead of moving to that gated place you always talked about, how do you feel about some interdimesional travel?”
