I am all alone up here. No pony would like a Nightmare, but that's not all I am.
"... Et..."
I am the moon, I light the way at night as my sister relieves herself of her duties, I give my heart every time I paint the stars, yet they all rest through my work.
"...oney..."
All they will ever see is a monster, even as I beg them to be my friends.
They run in fear every time I go near. Will this nightmare ever end?
And there it goes again, my own name used for a horrid conscience.
"...Moony..."
I have no compassion for any pony, just as they hold none for me. Why should I treat them any better, when all I am is some freak?!
"...ake up dea..."
I am just some beast! *sob* Why can't I just find some pony *sob* any pony that could love me back?
"Please wake up..."
Please, somepony, any pony, I am so alone up here. I don't want to be alone anymore. I am so sorry if I scared you. Just please, somepony be my friend. Please.
I wake with a start, tears scarring my face, sliding down and glistening my shadowy fur. I was crying! I, I still am crying! That horrible dream, why would they name such a thing after me? Did I really pose so much fear and pain that they needed to use the worst thing possible to describe me?
Was I truly worthy of the title Nightmare?
Were the bad dreams really worthy of my name?
Soft cooing brings me out of my train of thought as I feel my back being petted gently. I feel so tired, but I need to look. I turn my eyes to see a strange yet familiar face gaze lovingly at mine.
Wait... Lovingly? Who could possibly think of me that way?
And yet the odd creature continues to brush me with its claws, smiling with such assurance that I can't help but feel safe.
I start to relax, not caring why there is such an odd thing here, just that I am in contact with another being. Too long without another's touch, how else am I supposed to feel?
I can sense the creatures emotions for me, but I am far too exhausted to fully read them. But from what I can comprehend, rather than fear, hatred, or disgust, I feel other things.
Possessiveness.
Closeness.
Love.
There it is again! Love.
Love...
Who could love me?
I don't even like myself, and yet...
Then the memories rush back to me.
It is my mate, my love, my human! I am not stuck on the moon, I am in my own home, with my special somepony... Someone. Yes, that is the term.
I have a special someone!
I am not alone.
I, I am not alone!
My human, what was his name? Oh by my own moon! I can remember every painful second of being stuck on the moon but not my own mate's name? Oh how lowly he must think of me! Why do I even-
My thoughts are interrupted as James, yes that is his name, James, wraps his arms around me.
The sensation is intoxicating.
He leans in and kisses me on the muzzle, and whispers in my ear. I can barely make out the words, but his breath against my sensitive fur sends shivers through me.
"What's wrong, Moony?"
I can't take it any longer. The tears that I did manage to hold back flood out and stain the bed sheets. I must appear so weak, the truth of my emotions shown to my James.
He pulls me in close and let's me cry relentlessly on his shoulder.
He truly does love me. I admit to myself. But such an obvious statement could have been as easily proven by everything else he has done for me.
The day he took me in under his wing.
Every moment he held me as I lost myself to tears.
When he helped me control my fears.
As he and I went on outings.
The night he proposed to me.
The moment he exclaimed "I do" as he claimed my heart more than any other day previous.
I love him, so much.
So much more than I like myself.
How was I lucky enough to find somepony-
Ahem.
Someone, like him?
My tears are now beginning to let up, and soon enough I stop crying. However, I only hold James tighter as I am remembering my dream.
"Nightmare, shhh, it's okay. I'm right here. I've got you." His soft voice soothes the trembling of my body, and I finally start to calm down.
"James..." I moan from the pangs of loneliness still lingering from my nightmare.
"What happened?" His tone revealing genuine concern and love for me. I doubt that he can allow his inflections to sound otherwise.
"I was... So alone... Back on the moon. There was no pony at all. I didn't even re*sniffle* member you!" I start to tear up at the fact that I forgot James. " please *sob* plea-ease don't le-et m-me *sniffle* go! I don't *sob* want to be a- alone anymore!" His arms strengthen their grip around my body, pulling me closer to him. I can only reciprocate the action as my voice has been silenced with tears and chokes.
"It's alright, I won't, I never will. I promise." His tone the same as if talking to a child, but I need it. I need his caresses, which he is ever-willing to give me. I need his love, which has never faded ever since I had met him. I need the sound of a voice more than anything. His voice. His touch. His gentle caresses. Him. I need him.
More than anything, I need him to be there for me, as he always has been.
I can feel myself drifting off into sleep, but I don't want to. I am so scared that if I let go, he won't be here when I wake up. I am afraid this is all a dream. "James..." I am barely able to croak out as my throat was scarred by the salty tears I spilt.
Everything is about to fade away; I'm afraid.
I'm afraid.
"I am right here," he answers softly, the simple notions bringing me to reality. "It's okay, sweetie, I'm right here."
My mind now semiconscious, I find a way to wrap my hooves around my mate's short neck. I cannot find the words to express everything that I feel, and I break down into tears the second time that night. His hands continue to stroke my mane, his soothing voice calling me back to reality with each acknowledgement that he is here for me.
"Do you want to talk to me about it?" He asks as my sobbing ceases. I know I had told him of the dream, so what is he talking about?
My words decide to come out by their own will and knowledge. "Why must it be called a nightmare?" I whimpered, surprised by my own question.
"What do you mean?" He replies, sounding as confused as I am.
The next sentence slips past my lips. "Why must such a terrible thing be named after me?" The tears are on the verge of breaking out again. Why must I feel so weak? It isn't James, he is the one that makes me feel strong. Perhaps I am genuinely weak. Meaning that if I were to try to last one moment without him, I would fail.
"... A nightmare isn't all bad, you know." He says after a period of silence, descimating the tangent thought.
"What?" It is my turn to be confused. Of course nightmares are all bad, that is how ponies saw me when they renamed their dreams, did they not?
"Nightmare," he seems to muse aloud. "My beautiful, lonely Nightmare."
I feel the sharp pain in my heart as he describes me as lonely. It warms me inside when I realize he also said beautiful...
And his...
"Nightmares are not just bad dreams," he continues to brush my fur and mane with his fingers. "A nightmare can help you overcome your fears in the real world. They show you how to handle the problems you have every day. They prepare us for emotions we face as the world revolves. But most importantly, they show you what is truly important to you."
I am touched by his small speech, but I still ache inside. His words make sense, but they still give no reason as to why they only cause agony.
"But why must they be so painful?" My sight is beginning to blur once more. "Are they necessary evils? Is that what I am?"
James grips me, not roughly, but firmly, drawing me out of his embrace so he can gaze at my eyes. "Don't you ever think of yourself as evil," he commands. "You are not your name. You are not evil. You have made mistakes, but they are not who you are now. What you will do is what makes you who you are." His intonation is so overpowering, all I can do is continue to stare into his sparkling eyes.
His tone begins to lighten up. "Please listen to me. I know the past hurts, and you should never let it go, but you can learn from it, learn to forgive yourself as others have. Do you think I am lying by your side in fear of you, because I am not. I love you, and you should know that. I love you, and will never stop."
"B-but what if I go back to... What I-I was?" I am so afraid to ask, yet my compulsions drive me to inquire.
"If I am with you, would you?" Answers a question, with a question.
And I know the answer.
Never, in a million years, would I let my James be in harms way.
I will never let him near my darkest emotions.
But saying that would be too easy, and he already knows the answer.
So I do the more entertaining thing.
I grab him with my hooves... Somehow.... And pull him into a passionate kiss.
I catch him by surprise, a very pleasant thing for me.
I get to see him blush.
Humans are so cute when they blush.
Or at least mine is.
He recovers from the shock and pressured his lips to mine. Sparks seem to fly from the back of my eyelids as I force them shut in pleasure.
We hold each other's lips with our own until we eventually run out of air. We gasps slightly as we inhale.
But we never let go of the other.
James slowly lowers us from our sitting position, lying us down on the bed and reapplying the blankets.
"Rest well, my mare of the night," he whispers into my ear.
"You as well, my object of affections," I may be slightly sarcastic with my remark, but it was nonetheless true. I am simply far too tired.
We continue to embrace each other as sleep claims our minds.
I am not alone...
Author's Note
First posted story
Rights to Hasbro and Lauren Faust.
Hope you enjoyed.
