The Scarlet Ribbon

Twilight unfurled her enormous scroll. "Test one. Ambiguity!"

Applejack craned her neck. "Ambihoozawhat?"

Twilight repeated herself. "Ambiguity! You know, when you say something that could mean more than one thing. Give me an order that could be interpreted in multiple ways, and see what happens."

Applejack pondered her task. "Ah can't think of anything."

Twilight moaned with exasperation. "Just tell me to 'Buck the tree'"

Applejack looked around. "Which tree?"

"Don't tell me a specific tree, Applejack! That's the point."

"Well alright then. Go on an buck the tree."

Twilight lurched from her position, carrying her scroll in tow with her field of magic. She trotted up to the nearest tree, and gave it a mighty buck. She hummed with interest, and scratched all the details into her scroll with her trusty quill.

Applejack snickered softly.

Twilight peeked up over the top of her scroll at the sound of laughter. "What?"

Applejack tried to suppress her giggles while she talked, with some success. "Y'all dun bucked as hard as you could an didn't get one single apple."

Twilight groaned. "Can we stay focused? The apples weren't the point. Okay. Now I want you to tell me to 'buck the tree' again, but I want you to think about a random tree when you do it. I don't want you to tell me which tree."

Applejack shut her eyes tightly, and focused on a tree. Twilight huffed softly at Applejack's assumption that ESP theatrics would be a requirement of this test.

"Buck that there tree!" said Applejack, without pointing.

Twilight took swift kick at another nearby tree, slamming it with all her might. A single apple fell from the tree, and landed directly on her head. She grumbled and looked up at the tree scornfully for humiliating her once more.

Applejack tried her darndest not to laugh. "That wun't the tree."

Twilight sparkle chirped with satisfaction. "Excellent!" She scribbled down the notes. "Okay, so far we know that if an order is ambiguous, I end up doing it anyway, and it doesn't actually matter what you meant, only what you said. Also, I picked this tree. So it seems that if, at the time of the order, I decide to obey, I'm allowed to choose how to interpret the order.

"Okay, test two! Impossibility."

Applejack hummed. "That doesn't sound easy, sugercube."

"Exactly!" Twilight sang with confidence. "Tell me to do something I couldn't possibly do."

"Stop worryin' so much." Applejack said with a smirk.

"Applejack! Don't tell me to change my emotions, that's test four! Argh! Now I'm going to have to skip to four to add this note! Maybe you should let me come up with the orders, we don't know if something you say might cause some serious problem that might disrupt or change the testing results!"

"Guessin' we have our answer for number four then." Applejack huffed with exasperation. She was really hoping that one would work.

Twilight scribbled some notes on her scroll, then rolled it up just enough to get back to test number two. "Okay. First, we're going to ask me to do something I can't do. Then, we're going to ask me to do something nopony can do. Okay? Ask me to buck every apple from the tree in one go."

Applejack nodded, "Alright. Mosey on up to that there tree, and buck out all them apples at once."

Twilight trotted up toward the nearby tree, and bucked it with all her might. She managed to collect an impressive haul of leaves and twigs, but no apples.

Applejack snorted down more laughter.

Twilight was far too happy to let the laughter get to her anymore. She beamed with excitement. "Did you see that? I tried, but I couldn't do it!"

Applejack frowned, "Ahm sorry sweet pea. Ya tried yer best."

"No, Applejack. That's good. If it was something I was able to do then it would have invalidated the test. So it's good. Don't worry. Okay, now try to get me to do something completely impossible, like ask me to draw a three sided circle in the dirt or something."

"Alright. Do that thing what you just said."

Twilight blinked, looking down at the ground, then her hooves, then the ground. Nothing. "Well! That went as expected! Okay, Test three! Memories! Ask me to forget what Pinkie Pie's cutie mark looks like."

Applejack gave Twilight a disbelieving glare, "Naw why would ya want tah forget somethin' like that?"

Twilight grumbled. "Applejack, I don't want to forget it. But I believe it'd be the easiest thing to relearn if this works. So go for it, and be really careful! Don't make me forget anything important."

"Twilight, how many of these tests are there?"

Despite wanting to keep Applejack focused, Twilight's found herself compelled to unroll her entire scroll. The thing was enormous, rolling over a rock, through a trench, and slightly up the bottom of an apple tree. Twilight leaned in and scrutinized the very end of her list. "One-hundred forty-three."

There was a pregnant pause while Twilight evaluated her friend's incredulous expression. "What?" she asked. "This is for science! I need to learn these things if I'm going to be stuck with this." She waved her beribboned lock of purple hair toward Applejack. "I don't even know if an event like this has ever happened in all of Equestria. We could be dealing with a never-before-seen magical artifact." She gave Applejack a deadly serious stare. "This is very important!"

Applejack sighed. "You know I'd do anything to help you, but one-hundred fourty-four--" "Three," said Twilght. Applejack continued with narrowing eyes. "One-hundred fourty-three;" she verbally italicized the last digit. "That's too many for one day. How about you test it yourself? Tell yourself to do all this here stuff in a mirror. See if that works."

"Applejack!" With a wooshy bouncy pop, Twilight was gone, along with the scroll.

"Oops," said Applejack.