The Royal Throne

by clopdog

Rating: mature
Tags: Princess Celestia, Dark, Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Other, Sex
Length: 2167

Celestia share a bathroom built not only for royalty, but to appease the goddesses they are.

WARNING This work contains toilet play, scat, urination, and other nasty things. Seriously if you can't handle reading about a mortal pony eating the fecal matter of an immortal goddess then turn around. Don't read on and criticize me for writing something that disgusts you.
For those of you who are still reading on, you are a mature person with an open mind about things. Scat isn't my fetish, but I would never disrespect or criticize anyone for a fetish of theirs no matter how extreme. This fic was done by request for a Brony who wishes to remain anonymous.

Enjoy the clop!

Published 2013-09-04 21:20:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-09-04 21:20:02 UTC

We don't fornicate with lowly mortals

It was an average afternoon in Canterlot, where we find our white demigod reading over and signing legal documents in her court.

The ancient alicorn princess heaved a sigh as she removed from her unread stack yet another petition for Royal Healthcare.

“Not again. These peasants expect me to pay their medical bills? I'd sooner open the boarder to allow more filthy Zebras steal all the jobs. Then we'll see who cares about free healthcare. At least they will work for only a few bits a day.” She said in her mind as she made a wad of the paper in her magic and tossed it into the garbage can behind her.

She pulled the next paper from the stack, and read it over.

“More security in Ponyville? I thought those country hicks would be able to deal with the chaos that seems to follow Twilight around. It took long enough to get her out of Canterlot, there's no way she's coming back here.”

She read on...

“Panther attacks? Tentacle monsters? What on earth has Twilight been doing?”

She was interrupted by a loud gurgle from her lower gut. “Ohh... Easy now. Maybe eating that much queso on my TexZeb food wasn't such a great idea...” She fondly recalled her lunch, stuffing her face with pure heartburn and diarrhea inducing goodness.

“Ahh...” She signed in relief, feeling gas bubbles and various other things re-arranging themselves in her bowel. She was so looking forward to her next trip to the bathroom.

Being a magical goddess had its perks, she could consume more scotch bonnet peppers than would be required to burn a hole in any mortal's stomach, and not feel a single thing when she passed them through her holy rectum.

She was loosing her focus on her work, and she was beginning to sign documents without even reading them.

When she came back to reality, she noticed she'd accidentally signed a petition from her faithful student
to officially remove her dragon's second class citizen rights, and make them third class.

“Oops! Oh well. Nopony liked the little shitstain, anyway. If Twilight needs a punching bag to keep her destructive power distracted, then so be it. *gurgle* Speaking of shit stains...”

“Ahem” She cleared her throat, gaining the court's full attention.

“My little ponies, I am calling a recess. The court will resume it's duties in one hour.”

Her ears were met with several “Yes, Princess” s and the sound of shuffling papers and hooves. Son the
room was empty, save for the multiracial guards. She gathered her papers and sorted them out on her desk, and prepared for her leave.

*** *** ***

A few minutes later, the Sun Goddess found herself trotting down her corridors to her private chambers, a spring in her step.

When she came to an emasculate door, emblazoned with her royal cutiemark, she used her magic to turn the handle, nodding to her two guards flanking the entrance to her bed chambers.

As the door slid shut, and she found herself alone in one of the two rooms where the guards were never stationed she heaved another sigh of relief, and loudly moaned as she slipped out of her royal shoes and breast piece.

Turning to her vanity mirror, she gazed into her own beautiful eyes, as she lifted a brush to run through her magical mane, while removing what little makeup she wore with her magic., heaving yet another happy sigh. She was able to speak her thoughts out loud.

“These mortal ponies. Sometimes I forget why I even bother to rule them. Hmm... Maybe Luna wouldn't mind if I let her rule for a few thousand years while I take a little break. I could visit all the other celestial bodies orbiting my Sun..” She smiled to herself, her daydream suddenly cut off by yet another loud gurlge.

“Oh! Who am I kidding. I'd need my cook to make me more of that delicious queso. Mmmm”

She got up off her hind hooves, and made her way to the bathroom, which connected the two sister's rooms via two doors.

Without so little as knocking, she pushed the door open and stepped inside.

She found a familiar pair of nameless ponies laying on their backs, their stomachs distended like two pregnant mares. The two stallions were brothers, and they had been blessed by the goddess to be her and her sister's private throne. Never to worry about food or drink for the rest of their days. And they'd be unconscious for most of them.

The two stirred awake, the life returning to their permanently opened eyes.

“My Goddess” One managed to choke out before the enchantment held him firmly in place with his maw pried open.

This pleased Celestia.

“Your goddess requires your service, mortal.”

She turned her flank around, so it faced the low laying pony. He had to look up to see the edge of her royal plot approaching as she backed up. The same plot he always saw approaching him from that angle. The effects of his blessing were so that he could only be awake and remember parts of his life when his goddess was in this room, hovering her fleshy cheeks over his nose.

“I need a place to relieve myself. I think your wide open maw will do perfectly” She loved to boast the fact she had a mortal being to defile in such a way, even if she was only boasting to herself. It was rather therapeutic after a long boring day of dealing with mortal problems.

Her flank was lined up properly now, and she was lowering herself until she felt a cold wet nose meet between her plothole and mare lips. She used the touch of her toilet's nose to guide her urethra over his waiting mouth, and began to relax, placing her full weight down, and letting her stream flow.

“Ahhh...” Another happy sigh from Celestia.

She felt a warm tongue lapping at her sensitive flesh as she let her glorious golden urine gently flow.

To the mortal pony lapping the tiny dribbling hole, the sacred liquid was warm like the sun on his flesh. The only sensation in his life that reminded him of the feeling he hadn't felt in so many years. Each drop was precious to him. He was scarcely able to care about selfish desires anymore, but he craved a drink and he was finally getting it.

“You make such a good toilet, mortal. Oh! Yesss...” Celestia was in bliss “Drink from your goddess, drink her golden piss”

The goddess had neglected to notice her sister's toilet had been looking on in envy this whole time. Luna didn't need to use the bathroom as often as Celestia did, so he often times went hungry or thirsty, only being fed once a night sometimes.

Finally, with one last lick, Celestia's bladder was empty. With a pant, she lifted her plot slightly, and scooted further up to line her pristine plothole up with the gaping mouth of her mortal commode.

“Prepare yourself.” She paused to give a slight push, grunting. “This is going to be a spicy one”

And with that, she gave a mighty push, and naught but air rudely escaped her tight sphincter, rattling the walls of the room with thunderous flatulence. She halted her efforts as she erupted in fits of giggles.

She hadn't laughed at a childish 'fart joke' since she was a filly, but with the volume of her flatulence, combined with the wide open mouth she did it over, she couldn't help herself.

Finally she calmed herself down enough to speak, and refocus on the task at hoof.

The stallion under her was shell-shocked. “Am I missing... An eyebrow?” He asked himself in bewilderment.

Before he could pull himself together, he heard another loud grunt from up above, and felt the plothole in his mouth push out and open wide, another smaller squeak of air escaping before finally something semi-solid made contact with the back of his throat.

Loud groans of relief echoed through the bathroom, as the toilet struggled to swallow the fecal matter being shoved into his mouth before he choked. It had the consistency of mashed potatoes, and burned with the heat of the sun on the poor stallions tongue.

Between grunts, Celestia let out a sigh, and spoke to her toilet.

“You've heard of the Habenero pepper? I must have eaten at least three dozen with my lunch today. They burned a little going in... I bet they still burn a little coming out” She said with a smug grin. She paused her pushing to let her toilet catch up to the amount she'd already given him.

With not a single bit spilled, the nameless stallion managed to tongue and swallow all the fecal matter in his mouth down his gullet to join the rest in his gut. No sooner had he swallwoed the last piece, Celestia had lit a little more to give. His tongue was on fire.

With one last almighty push, the final log was pushed free of its fleshy prison and into a different fleshy prison.

Celestia sighed one last time, as she waited for her toilet to eat her last shit so her ass could be licked clean.

Just then she heard a door open.

Slowly, her sister stepped in and froze like a deer.

“Ah, Luna. Up a little early, are we?”

“Yes, sister. I uh... Had trouble sleeping.”

Luna didn't really want to tell her sister she'd been up this whole time screwing the new Captain of the Royal Guard.

She approached her toilet, not casting him a glance as his enchantment held him in place and pried his maw open for her. She casually turned and squatted over him.

“How was the court today?”

A groan escaped Celestia's lips.

“Don't even get me started! I swear these mortals and their petty problems. One of these days I'm going to swallow this planet with my Sun and start anew somewhere else.

Luna could only chuckle, she knew her sister too well to think she would do anything of the sort. She focused a little on her task as her sister rambled on.

A splotchy wet fart echoed off the stone walls, catching the attention of her bigger sister.

“Damn it all!” she silently cursed. She hadn't meant to make any display of it.

Celestia looked over at her sister's suspended plot, dripping with large globs of white goo. Her own plot being licked by the toilet who did yet another great job of cleaning her.

“Luna...” The elder sister groaned, as she got off of her toilet and walked around to face her sister.

“Who was it this time? I swear we have this discussion at least twice a month!” She said with exasperated anger. She was honestly starting to get used to it, but couldn't let Luna get away with it without moaning at her a bit.

“Oh come off it, Tia. He was just so well hung! We couldn't help it... He was sooo satisfying.” She said in just such a non-bothered way she knew would get under her sister's skin.

“Luna! We. Are. Gods! We don't fornicate with lowly mortals!This is beneath you, Sister.” She put on her best disappointed face. “If Luna ever found out anything about my sex life she'd never let it go... Best be extra careful.” She thought.

“I still don't believe you, sister. There is no way in Tartarus you've never fornicated with a handsome, muscular, VERY well endowed stallion.” She teased, as she kept pushing the seed of her latest lover out of her rectum to be lapped up by her dutiful toilet.

“Not even once, sister. We will discuss this again at a later date, I have a court to attend to. Recess will be ending soon.”

She moved away from her sister to enter her room, turning back for her sister to hear her words, she spoke.

“Just because you are the Princess of the Night, doesn't mean you can shirk your duties to live the 'night life'. There is more to being a princess than partying.”

With that, she backed out of the doorway, and closed it behind her before she heard her sister call out “Party pooper!!” Followed by more flatulence.

THE ENDING.

Author's Note

I'm honestly glad I got to do this request, It's knocked me out of my writers block. I have the next chapter of Retreat half written, so maybe it will be out this week. I am also beginning the early writing for my next story.

Had to put any comedy in here I could to lighten the mood, so have a bit of FiW Myth Busters references to lighten the mood.

If you have any extreme fetishes to request I write about, send me a PM and we'll talk. I'll write just about anything! Seriously.