White Zinfandel

The next morning, Shining Armor awoke from his bed with his mane disheveled and his facial expression riddled with fatigue. He sluggishly made his way out of the bed, trying to make his way to the door. As he moved, he realized that there was a pink hoof that held him down to a pony-shaped figure hiding underneath the covers. He tried to magically move the hoof as softly as he could, only for the hoof to clasp itself to his side once again. Shining repeated the action, only for it to fail a second time. This time, he would use his own strength to free himself, but the resistance indicated that the figure was not intending for him to let go. Soon the figure stirred to reveal a pink unicorn mare with a blue mane. She yawned as she stirred, speaking to the young stallion.

"Mmmmm-please don't leave."

Shining Armor himself yawned as he stretched his hooves into the air. With strain in his voice, he answered her. "Please let me go."

"Nnnmnnn. Not a chance."

"Please?"

"Nnnngh. Five more minutes???"

Shining looked at the mare in his bed and chuckled at her childish demeanor, reminding him of his little sister after a night of studying. "I do have to use the restroom."

Pearl groaned as she pouted in the bed, grabbing him by the waist with both of her hooves. "Hold it in. You're a guy. You can wait."

"Then you must not realize that using the restroom is a stallion's sacred morning ritual. It allows us to purge wastes from our bodies so that we may live a long and prosperous life." Shining joked.

"Then in that case, you must also know of the sacred ritual of estrus, where mares become so infatuated with the concept of sex that it literally oozes from within us. We suffer miserable cramps that causes us to twist and turn, itches that just so happen to occur behind the clitoris that only a stallion's dick can scratch, aches that become so annoying that it only makes us moan in pain as we even attempt to move and sometimes when we've been starved for so long that we begin to bleed as our-"

"Whoa there! Too much info!" Shining exclaims as he places his hooves in a T shape, indicating that he needed a break from the harsh reality of the mare anatomy and physiology.

"And if you think that's bad, then wait until you hear this. Sometimes when a mare has no stallion to mate with her first year, then she would go after the first male she's closest to."

Shining looked at her with fear as he began to imagine the worst-case scenario. "...Who would be-"

"Friends, acquaintances, the stallion next door, a stranger, a cousin, even her own father or brother if she was really feeling it." Pearl addressed to the nervous and worry-stricken stallion.

Shining did not want to even imagine the pain that the young Rarity would even feel or worse, the fact that his own sister could be eagerly watching him as he slept, waiting for a chance to engage in 'scientific study' as she would claim it to be. A cold shiver swept down his spine at the thought that his very own sister could one day, become a hormonally challenged filly who would begin to take advantage of every situation that they were alone together. And in Shining's case, that happened to be quite often.

"But hey, look on the bright side. At least the hormones in my daughter and your baby sister won't begin to control them at this very moment. That won't be happening for a long time." Pearl tried to reassure him as he continued to back himself into a mental corner.

Shining was lost in thought as he began to assess the problems of the estrus season and his little sister. It was assured that many fillies don't start their estrus season until the age of fourteen. But there was also the knowledge that despite that fact, there were indeed some fillies that developed their sexual maturity at a younger age. Those cases happened with fillies who managed become mentally mature and self-aware at an early age. And judging from Rarity's maturity, it would be best to assume that she would find her first season to occur the year after next, possibly even sooner. His sister would be the one to have it happen to her at the age of eleven, which in most cases is extremely young and very rare. His mind went into a mathematical gauntlet, calculating all the possible outcomes that could occur until he heard a sound in the distance.

*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*

Somepony was knocking on the door to their suite. Shining Armor snapped out of his self-induced anxiety episode and made himself presentable as he rushed out of the bedroom where he and Pearl slept.

"Don't take too long, dearie." Pearl said as he quickly trotted out of the room. He managed to walk past the bathroom, which he tried to desperately ignore. As he trotted out of the room and down the hall, he came into contact with Rarity's room. He stopped briefly as he checked in on her, cracking the door open to see if she was still asleep. She was snoring very lightly as she looked as if she had a pleasant dream. Shining smiled as he remembered the promise he made to her.

*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*

The knock became slightly louder as he closed the door to the room that gained access to the sleeping filly. He made his way to the foyer and unlock the door before magically turning the knob. As he cracked the door open, he discovered that it was room service offering a good morning to the young colt, and furthermore found that he knew the pony in the black and gold uniform.

"Azure Sword?" Shining asked as he looked at his friend in total disbelief.

"Shining Armor!? NO WAY! How are ya?" A young colt with a grey coat with a silver mane asked with excitement.

"I'm doing okay. But if I may ask, what are you doing here?"

"Well, I'm kinda caught in a rut. See, being that I was fooling around so much last year, I ended up failing one of my classes and barely passing the others. And lets just say that my parents were not too happy about it."

"Well that's what happens when you skip math class in order to seduces mares in gym."

"But it was worth it."

Shining looked on in absolute amazement of the statement his friend provided. "You weren't even enrolled in that class!"

"And? It was worth it, despite the inevitable consequences."

"The gym class was at another school!"

"Despite the inevitable consequences."

"The school was all the way across town!"

"Despite the inevitable consequen-"

"They caught you and and Fleur De Lis having sex in the locker room while you were wearing OUR school uniform, IN THE MIDDLE OF FUCKING GYM!" Shining shouted as the pent up frustration continued to fountain in the direction of his friend.

"Ahhh... Good times. Gooooood times." Azure sighed as he stared into the air.

Shining was fuming at the stupidity of his friend. "And you had the balls enough to tell the dean of her school that it was a 'fetish of hers'."

"Did I ever tell you about that one time I met this one pink mare who had BOTH a horn and a pair of wings?"

"..." Shining mouth was left ajar, producing no sound as his friend continued his previous statement.

"We never got past second base though. *tsk* Tragic." Azure looked down to the ground with a sigh, upset that he never managed an opportunity to mount said mare.

"...Aaand now I see why you had to repeat magic kindergarden." Shining sighed as he facehoofed.

"Hey, those classes were boring though. Anyways, my parents cut off all financial aid and left me to fend for myself. So now I'm stuck trying to pay my tuition for the year, aaaaand this is the only job that I could find that made me an offer that they'd take care of my tuition in exchange for no-paid overtime."

"Yikes!" Shining cringed as he imagined the long nights that his friend has to go through on a daily basis, "So despite all the hell you catch, those days that you spent rutting all the upper-crust girls made up for all of it, right?

"More than, my friend. More than." Azure admitted as he wore a distant smile on his face.

"... Ugh... My head hurts." Shining mumbled as he held both hooves to the side of his head, rubbing until the pain would begin to disappear.

"In speaking of head... What are you doing here? If I'm not mistaken, this is an upper-crust hotel." Azure asked as he zoomed in on Shining's position, wearing a suspicious frown on his face.

"Well..."

"AHA! So an upper-crust chick asked you to spend some 'special' time with her, is that it?" Azure smiled as he teased Shining, prodding a hoof to his side "The mice will play if the kitty's away, eh? Eh?"

"Eagh, N-n-no! It's not like that! Nope, not at all!" Shining stuttered as he chucked nervously. He feared that his friend may have seen through his ruse as Azure smiled expanded from ear to ear.

"ATTA BOY, SHINING ARMOR! Ya finally became a stallion! So, how was it? What does she look like and how rich is she?" Azure continued to interrogate the blushing teen as he proceeded to push the trays of food into the room. Shining did not like the fact that he had to lie to keep things at a low volume.

"No, not really rich. Actually, she's uhhh... aaaan... an old family friend! Yes, and she didn't want sex, she just wanted protection. Like you know... a... guard?" Shining made up as he helped his friend with the trays. Azure's facial expression let Shining know immediately that he didn't buy it. Azure moved in close as he wrapped his hoof behind Shining and brought his head within whispering distance.

"Now there. Everypony knows that you can't lie to save your hide. You would tattle on yourself if you stole somepony's lunch money. Now, tell me everything. There's no need to lie. Now if there's a confidentiality agreement, then just keep the name anonymous. Now, details!"

"Well... I-uh-"

"Shining dearie, is there something the matter? You haven't came back to be-"

Pearl who was walking from the bedroom, walked into the foyer looking for her bed mate. She did managed to find him, however she also found a servant who was bending to Shining, appearing to be asking him for private information. Both of the teens looked to her in dead silence as the colt in uniform's mouth was held agape in disbelief of who was standing in front of him. Shining's mouth was wide open as well, but for a different reason. He was the first to speak.

"...I can explain, milady."

Pearl stood there in abject betrayal as she found the colt whom she'd spent the night with in the company of the help, apparently dishing out details of the events before the dawn. She only straightened her posture as he beamed her sights to the nude colt in the servant's hoof.

"Proceed."

"...And that's how I know him personally." Shining finished.

Pearl and the two stallions were tending to the food in the suite. Shining continued to sweat nervously as Pearl looked to him with an angry disposition. She sighed and turned her attention to their guest in uniform, observing every inch of his figure, trying to asses on what method she should use to keep the colt silent on her current affair. She proceeded to speak with Azure, who's eyes shifted between the nervous Shining Armor and the angry mare that sat before him.

"So... You're enrolled with Shining Armor?"

"Yes ma'am."

"And you work here to pay your tuition for school?"

"Uh-Yes ma'am."

"JACKPOT!" She thinks to herself, finding the perfect means of keeping him quiet. "Oh, I see... Well then in that case, I will have you know that Shining Armor was my escort for last night. He was placed under security as my daughter and I came back from the game that my husband played." Shining breathed a sigh of relief. He thought that Pearl would confirm that his story is somewhat true from that statement. But Pearl decided that she should dig deeper into the matter. "Now, what all did Shining tell you?"

"Well, he did say that you were a family friend and that you were seeking some company. I asked him what kind, and he said that the matter was strictly platonic." Azure confirmed as Shining continued to breathe sighs of relief.

"Oh. Well yes I am a family friend of sorts, I am also a client of his but I never did ask him to come with me, he was assigned to me."

"Oh, well I guess that isn't so bad. I guess he got a little excited and gave me some details that were slightly altered." Azure stated in the defense of his friend as Shining was drinking a cup of tea.

"Let's see, what else am I forgetting? Hmmm..." She mumbled to herself as she tapped her hoof to her chin, looking to the ceiling in hopes that the idea would fall from above. "AH! I also managed to hold him against the bed as I rode him without his initial consent that led to three rounds of hot, pornographic, lusty and sweaty fucking in which my eyes rolled into the other room. How's that for details?"

Shining's eyes bucked from beneath his lids and his gag reflex triggered him to release the contents of his mouth, causing the tea to land on the floor in the distance. Coughing ensued as he looked to Pearl in absolute shock and horror, screaming internally as the previous endeavors that the two engaged upon last night was brought to light. Endeavors that he vowed to never speak of or even mention to his friends, were suddenly being disclosed by the mare whom he had performed them with. Azure slammed his hooves into the table as his jaw followed suit. His eyes rapidly shifted between Pearl and his friend. He couldn't believe what he just heard. Azure looked to Pearl before speaking. "Um... I... beg your pardon, ma'am?"

"And my goodness, he just wouldn't ease up. I can tell that he was quite deprived of exploring his hormones. He even mounted me desperately when we were in the pool out back before he ran to the room, leaving me unsatisfied. Which is why I held him down against the bed as I proceeded to return the favor. But he wasn't having it. He wanted to thrust me into the air as I kept pleading with him to stop, which in my case turned into pleads of don't stop." Pearl added as she took excitement in seeing her young cadet squirm in his seat, releasing the details of his debauchery.

"Wow! He must have really wanted it, didn't he!?" Azure asked as he laughed loudly, pointing at Shining Armor as he tried to hold himself together.

"Oh dear me, yes. He even threw me on the bed shortly after. And the things he did as I laid there defenseless and vulnerable... Are you sure he hasn't done this with other mares before me?"

"What other mares!? This guy is so straight-laced and vanilla that he'd rather stay single until he found the girl he wanted to marry! He even told me that he'd wait until it was his honeymoon. How did ya managed to break him into humping you silly?" Azure asked as he continued to laugh boisterously. Shining grew red from the neck up as the more intimate details flowed from Pearl's mouth.

"I managed to have him indulge in a little bit of wine. Soon he took on as many as two whole bottles by his lonesome."

"Heh, lightweight."

"I know!"

"Hey guys, I'm right here you know." Shining interjected as his face, neck and soon the top portion of his body ran a pinkish-crimson. He hid behind one of the lids that once covered the large platters of food. Pearl and Azure paid him little to no mind as they continued to laugh and joke to each other, at Shining Armor's expense.

"Oh my. *phew* I haven't had a laugh like that in ages." Pearl admits as she brings a hoof to wipe a small tear from beneath her eye while trying to regain her breath. "But I'm afraid that I cannot allow you to leave this room without knowing that you'll remain silent." Pearl's demeanor changes from that of a jubilant one to one of seriousness. "You will speak of this to no one."

"Not a problem ma'am. No one knows Shine like I do." Azure says while giving his friend a nudge as an embarrassed Shining Armor mumbles out to him.

"Not. A word." Shining spat out those words as if they were a searing venom set to temperatures of molten lava.

"Geez, you give me little credit Shine. I don't know whether I should be offended or sad." Says Azure in a sarcastic tone before laughing again.

"Then maybe I should give you an incentive to keep quiet then." Pearl states as she slowly walks to the teen filled with joy. "In that case, I will pay your tuition. Half now as a means to see if you can keep your word and the other half later as I see that you've done good on your end of the bargain. Deal?"

Azure's laughing comes to a screeching halt as he realizes what deal has been offered to him. "...You're serious?"

"Dead serious dearie. I'm a Belle and Belles make good on our promises." With those words, Azure felt as if a large burden has been lifted from his shoulders. He jumps into the air with glee as Pearl interrupts his celebration. "Now just a minute..." He stops to listen for a moment, coming from his emotional high before Pearl continued. "...You will continue to work here so that you may have some funding for whatever little things you wish to indulge yourself with. And also you will go into the room and feed my daughter as you awaken her from her slumber. Is that clear?"

Azure straightened his posture as he proudly responded to her request. "Yes ma'am!" He quickly grabs one of the smaller platters as he proceeds to quickly trot down the hallway to the rear room before Pearl interjects, instructing him that the door was to his immediate left. He grunted as he acknowledges her statement by walking into the room that she spoke of. Shining release the lid that he used to hide himself from view, looking to Pearl with a smile.

"Milady, are you seriously going to pay his tuition?" He inquires with happiness and a bit of concern.

"Yes I do. But it's only to keep him quiet. And in speaking of quiet..." Pearl pointed to the direction of the pool. "I do believe we should be quiet as continued from where we left off last night."

Shining looked at her with surprise. "But... I thought that we shouldn't be doing these kinds of things while the sun is out."

"My dear, we have all the way up until tonight. And also I'm feeling rather frisky, with me re-telling the events from last night and whatnot. And lets face it, your little friend is saying good morning."

Shining looks down to find that he managed to free himself from his sheath. "Uh-oh... I guess I kinda need to sit in the pool for a while." Pearl grins as she magically pushes him to the direction of the pool.

"And I will join you." Pearl adds.

Later that evening, Pearl, Shining Armor and Rarity begin to make their way to the Canterlot Train station. The train station is not as busy as it would be during the weekends, but it was just as busy as Ponyville's Regional Station. Ponies filled the halls and walkways that lead up and down the stairs. Many of the individuals who were leaving were the bitter Baltimare Raven fans who lost Sunday's game. Others were either assigned to business trips, being sent on deployment, or were headed to various locations for unknown reasons. Platforms that led to the larger cities like Manehattan, Baltimare, Las Pegasus and Maretropolis were the busiest. Some smaller towns such as Appaloosa, Dodge Junction and Trottingham still received a large group of commuters. Smaller towns or towns that required special access like Hoofington and Cloudsdale received smaller traffic due to their locations. And then there were towns like Wildwood, Andalu Valley, Spargos and Ponyville that received little to no commute due to their lack of tracks or just because the tourism is not as popular as the other cities.

Ponyville isn't a hard to find location due to common knowledge that Canterlot sat atop a mountain that looked over the plains and hills where the small town lies. But the tourism was practically zero, thanks to the locals who didn't take too kindly to ponies who wore business suits in the middle of the day. The only exception to that rule was that you've had to live there in order for you to be respected. Ponyville is a close-knit society that often takes care of it's own, which definitely chased many of the reporters who wanted an inside scoop on the big names who were there. And with that knowledge, Shining Armor knew why Magnus chose for his family to remain there, because the paparazzi wouldn't dare set hoof in a place where they'd be more likely chased out of town by what they would call 'angry farmers with torches and pitchforks'. And he respected that fact. Before Shining could think any further on the matter, he looked down as he felt a small hoof prodding his side.

"Mister Shiny, would you like to come to Ponyville with us?"

Shining looked down to the filly and smiled sadly as he knew that he would not leave with them. "No, not today. Maybe sometime later."

Rarity looked dismayed by his statement and offered her arguments. "Aww, come on. It will be fun."

Shining kneels down to Rarity's level as she looks up to him. "But I thought you said it was boring."

"Then we'll just have to make the best of it." She insists.

"But I have to stay here. I have to go to school." Rebuts the teen stallion.

"You could always transfer." Rarity states bluntly, to which Shining is surprised by her rash argument.

"It's not that easy. I'd need to find a place to stay."

"You can stay with us."

"But what about my family, my little sister-"

"I'll be your little sister."

"Rarity Andalusia Belle, you stop right there!" Her mother interjects as she saw that her daughter's arguments have gone too far.

"But mom, you like him and daddy likes him. He could be our-"

"No dearie, it's not that easy." Pearl whispers to her daughter, as Rarity anger starts to boil over.

"...Then I'm staying here, with daddy and Mister Shining!"

"Rarity-"

"NO! I wanted a brother for so long and now that I have one, you want to take him from me. It's not fair, I tell you."

"He is not your brother, he is somepony else's. Would you want to take him away from his family?" Pearl asked sternly.

"If it meant that we could talk to each other everyday..." Rarity looks to Shining Armor with tears streaming down her cheeks as Shining blushes at the thought of the filly wanting to spend more time with him.

Pearl looked at her daughter, who began to cry. She tried to think of an alternative to which her daughter could talk to Shining Armor without being there physically. She knew that letters would take too long to write compared to saying things in person and even longer to get a response from the pony to which it was addressed. But she also kept in mind that Rarity would not like the fact that she would only get to talk to Shining Armor every two weeks or so. So her options became limited until she considered sky-mail. Sky-mail is a means of delivering your mail and receiving it as quick as a full eight hours. It may not have been the fastest way compared to talking face-to-face, but it was still better than nothing.

"Rarity dear, how would you like to send Mister Shiny here some letters? Not only will you write him, but he will be able to write to you back." Pearl extended her hoof to retrieve the saddened Rarity. Before Rarity can say anything, Shining cosigns with Pearl's suggestion.

"That's actually not a bad idea. Not only will we be able to keep in contact, but I'll tell you a little about myself. And I would be glad to keep in contact with you."

Rarity looks at the large figure that stood in front of her, drying the tears from her eyes. She sniffles as a faint smile is brought upon her face. "Does that mean that I could still tell you about myself?"

"Well... Yeah, as long as you're comfortable with it." Shining confirms as he returns the smile Rarity has given to him. Suddenly, he is caught by surprise by a major weight shift. He opens his eyes to look to where Rarity went to, seeing that she threw herself at his side. Rarity dug into the young stallion as his weight shifts to accommodate for a softer impact on her behalf. Shining in response wrapped a hoof around her, whispering to her that he would still make well on the promise that he made to her the previous night.

"Write to me every day, please?" Rarity cried out as she was muffled underneath the massive frame. "I want to hear from you, and I wanna make you clothes, and I want you to tell me about your day, and I want you to write to me some bedtime stories." Shining smiles as the filly's trail of 'ands' continue as Pearl looks to him with a soft and sweet smile, appreciating that he was a kind-hearted and gentle stallion. Something warm begin to well up inside of her as she sees her daughter still clenching to the teen. She whispers to herself.

"My dear Rarity, if he is what makes you happy, then I will see what we can do to move here with your father and him. This is what you wanted, so I will do my best to give that to you."

*TOOOOOOOOOT*

The train to Ponyville pulls in from the distance to make it's way onto the platform, sending a cool breeze to rush by the three ponies that stood by. The train comes to a screeching halt as Pearl walks to her daughter to pick her up. Rarity hesitates as Pearl approaches from behind, refusing to let go of her newly acquired knight. Pearl slows her advance as she kneels down to Rarity to speak. "Our train's here. Now come along and say goodbye to Mister Shiny."

"No, he's not Mister Shiny. He's my prince!" She openly declares as Shining jumps in surprise.

"Wait-what?" Shining asks as he looks at the filly in confusion. Rarity runs to her mother's side and turns around to clarify her statement.

"You told me that there was a prince who saved the last princess from being eaten by the dragon. He also vanquished the dragon. You came to my bedside after I had that terrible nightmare and you told me that you would be my knight in shining armor. You slayed the dragon that haunted my dreams and stood by me as I slept. You were the prince in my dreams... and so I hereby call you my prince, Sir Prince Shining Armor." Shining stood speechless as Rarity continued to smile at him.

Pearl smiles at him also as Rarity gallops to his side. She stops in front of him and blushes as she plays with her hooves. Shining kneels down once again to give her a goodbye hug but the tables turn as Rarity grabs him by the muzzle and lowers him to give him a peck on the forehead. Shining became paralyzed as she removed her lips from his brow, her smile shining brightly as she retreated. Pearl gasps as her daughter performs the bold maneuver in front of her. Pearl drops a piece of paper with something scribbled on it as she watches her daughter gallops to her side once again to pick up the paper and levitates the small sheet to Shining Armor. Pearl scoops up her daughter and holds her on her back as Shining is left speechless with all that has recently occurred. A voice grabs at his attention.

"Shining my boy, how was the assignment?"

He looks up to find that there was a blue stallion clad in purple and gold armor speaking to him. He immediately recognized the figure to be his father, who managed to relieve himself of his shift. Shining was called by another set of voices shortly after.

"ALL ABOARD, TO PONYVILLE REGIONAL STATION!" The conductor shouts, signifying that the train was to soon depart.

"Farewell! Do remember to write dearie!" Pearl shouts as she waves a handkerchief outside of the window.

"Goodbye! See you later, Sir Prince!" Rarity screams out before the train whistle blows, drowning out their farewell cheers.

The train chugs off to the orange and purple distance, leaving large white pillars of smoke as it moved along. As the train continues it's journey to it's next destination, an armor clad Orion walks to his son and ask what was on the sheet of paper. Shining informs his father that it was a postal address to which he could send mail to Rarity, who's desire was that they would keep in touch. Shining's father giggled shortly after he confirmed what the reason was.

"What's so funny?" Shining inquires.

"She has a crush on you. It's cute actually." Orion answers to his son.

"What!? No way. She and I are just friends." Shining states, not wanting to imagine a ten-year-old filly chasing him down for his attention and affection.

"Friends you say? That's how they start. But we'll get to that later, how was the assignment? I do believe that you have quite a story for an old fellow." Orion and Shining makes their way from the train station platform, opting to make their way home.

"Well..."

Shining Armor and Orion made it in from the train station to the foyer of their home. It was nothing overly extravagant but compared to many other homes in Canterlot, it was well furnished and exquisitely decorated on the inside. Many trophies and plaques adorned the walls across the front room, signifying the collective accomplishments of the family. Shining had always thought that subtlety was not one of his parent's strong suits, but that he never held that against him because he himself had plaques that were hanging from the walls of the front room.

"Mom, I'm home!"

"Shining, is that you?" A female voice calls out from the kitchen. "Come on in here, dinner's ready!" Shining quickly walked to the room when suddenly a small voice calls out to him.

"Where have you been!? Me and Smarty Pants have been waiting for you all day!"

Shining looked down below and found a purple filly with a dark blue mane that was decorated with a pink highlight, who was holding a grey doll with black dreads. The filly tapped her hoof to the ground repeatedly as she demanded an answer from her older brother, who looked down at her giggling. She continued to pout until he magically scooped her up and teased her.

"Tell me what to do? Okay. Then I guess you don't mind if I let you pay a visit from... the tickle monster!" Shining taunted as his little sister kick and screamed as her older brother commenced his assault on her hooves and sides. She twisted and turned, trying to avoid the onslaught to no avail. She crackled as her brother smiled and blew raspberries on her belly, causing her to giggle in glee. He continued his advances until his mother called him off.

"Shining Armor and Twilight Sparkle, your food is getting cold!"

"Coming!" The two shouted as they both raced each other to the table. Twilight continued to giggle as her brother ran to the table and lit up his horn to push the Smarty Pants doll off her back, causing her to run back and retrieve her fallen comrade. As she picked up her doll, she looked ahead to find that Shining was seated before her. Twilight grew frustrated.

"No fair! That was cheating!"

"Is not." He argued.

The food came to the table as a mare with a light-grey coat with a purple and silver mane walked as she levitated the plates of steaming vegetables to the table. She walked to her son and began to tease him as he teased his younger sister, hoping to avenge her daughter's honor.

"Well if it isn't my sweet little baby. Momma missed you soooo much. How was your day?"

"Well, I had a lot of fu-" He's interrupted as his mother hugs him from behind.

"Did that mean-old-lady keep you busy all evening? I know you must be so tired after all that hard work." She teases him as he tries to break the hug.

"Actually mom, it was just fi-" Once again, his mother, Velvet, cuts him off.

"You didn't run into any mares, now did you?" She asks, the tone of her voice changes from sweet to menacing.

"Mom, c'mon..."

"Dearest, you know what they say about this time of year and what they say about cuffing season." She informs him as she breaks the hug.

"Mom-"

"You can never be too careful, especially when the estrus season starts up and-" This time Velvet is cut off by her son.

"MOM!" Shining yells as his embarrassment shows across his face.

"Oopsie. Sorry love, but I had to get you back for that little stunt you pulled on your sister on the way in." She clarifies as she winks to her daughter with a smile.

Shining looked to Twilight, who was giggling at his misfortune. She turned to him and stuck out her tongue at him in a victorious manner. Shining looked back to his mother as she walked to the kitchen once again.

"...But you didn't meet any girls, right?"

"No ma'am." Shining admitted.

"Good. The last thing you need is a mare who will seek to tie you down before you are even ready to be settled into any type of relationship."

"Mom..." Shining groans as he reaches for his food.

"No, I'm serious. Mare-hunting would be a bad idea in this time and age, especially after the war that your uncle served in. Now the mare-to-stallion ratio has worsened from five-to-one to eight-to-one. And you know that no son of mine will be herding a group of whorish mares everywhere he goes as if it was a parade of some sort."

"I promised that I'd only seek a monogamous relationship." Shining deadpanned as his mother came back from the kitchen to sit at the table.

"Very good. The last thing your sister needs to be brought up around is a brother who is swarmed by mares with every waking second." She states as the clanking sounds of silverware-against-porcelain fill the room.

"I can be big brother's marefriend." Twilight offers.

"Sorry Twily. I can't do that." Shining informs his sister.

"I don't see the reason why not." Velvet interjects.

"Mom, I don't see how that would work." Shining argues.

"Of course it can." Orion interrupts as he sits himself at the head of the table. "Now and days, fillies see their fathers and brothers and say to them that they'd marry a colt that was either just like them or close enough to be like them."

"Dad-"

"And fillies who are brought up around harems and herds are most likely to repeat the nature of the environment to which they were raised in. Science shows these statistics to be true and in staggering numbers, might I add." Velvet added to Orion's argument.

"Mom, please." Shining pleads, begging for them to stop with their ridiculous idea of him being a false love-interest for his little sister.

"I'm not saying you would have to marry your sister, but I am saying that you should be a mock colt-of-interest, that way your sister would take into consideration of who she would choose in the distant future to be her husband." Orion suggests.

"Aww. But I wanna marry Shining, NOW!" Twilight whines.

"Augh, not you too." Shining groans. "And besides, you don't even know what a coltfriend is for."

"A coltfriend is for the purpose of engaging in extracurricular activities to which can possibly lead to physical contact of the hooves, legs, lips and other parts of the body that I won't list because they sound really funny. These contacts can ultimately lead to physical exchanges that lead to modern-day mating practices that can result into strengthening the emotional bonds between two individuals. The bonds eventually become so strong, that the two will be betrothed in mind, body and spirit. Eventually the said individuals, whether pony or other species, will become emotionally invested into each other. The parties involved will then seek to expand their heritage by attempting to consummating their relationship and/or marriage and will proceed to have children/offspring of their own to raise in units that is commonly known as families." Twilight states with her eyes closed. She's a smart little fiend, isn't she?

Everyone stares at her in sheer amazement of the fact that a nine-year-old filly just explained the basics of life in a nutshell. Plates and silverware ceases all movement as every eye at the table is shifted towards her. Velvet held her drink in the air with her magic as her eyes bulged from her head as she admitted to herself that her daughter inherited her intelligence. Orion replaced the fork that was to enter into his mouth back onto the plate as he tried to convince himself that he hid all the biology books from within her reach. Shining's mouth was held agape as he tried to process what his little sister stated and how much she stated that was practically a lesson from his pony biology book. Twilight looks at all the attention she's getting as she continues to eat her food. She is the first to break the silence.

"...mmmph (what)?"