CGOTG: A New Type of Chaos

by Epic Brony 4 Life

Rating: mature
Tags: Adventure, Human, Dark, Alternate Universe, Comedy
Length: 8962

After one swift, unjust blow at the hands of fate causes one human's untimely death, he is given a second chance, by the most unlikely of characters, no less. But, as with all things, there is more to this deal than meets the eye.

I had a good life, and it was just starting to get even better. The powers that be must really hate me though, cus right when I'm having one of the best days of my life, a drunk driver ends it. PAINFULLY.

Now I'm staring down Discord, last remaining Draconneguis and God of Chaos, as he's offering me a second chance at life. In the end, I know I'm going to take it, but I've still gotta ask:

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What am I Getting Myself Into?

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Chess Game of the Gods Fic (NON-CANON!!!!)
Approved by No One (yet)
Contains a healthy amount of swearing, violence, and gore in later chapters.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-06-04 18:20:51 UTC

(Prologue Chapter 2 of 2) Explain Yourself, You Twisted Evil-Doer, You!!!

“…...Deal.”

In all my life, I'd never seen someone's jaw drop as fast as Discord's did when I accepted him offer so readily; It took all my concentration to keep from laughing at his open-mouthed “What The Fuck Did I Just Heard?' look he gave me. This stretched on for what felt like a few minutes, until Discord finally seemed to regain enough of his composure to ask what was obviously on his mind.

“...What?”

“I said deal; you want a champion, you got one.” I deadpanned, shrugging nonchalantly, as if this was the most normal conversation.

“Bu-bu-but... aren't you going to ask me why I chose you?” Discord sputtered, clearly floored by my willingness to accept his deal.

“No. I figured you have your reasons, same as anybody else.”

“Um, well...a-aren't you going to try and talk me into making it so you don't die in the first place? Or sending you back far enough in time to prevent you death?”

“Nope. If you wanted to send me back you would have. Besides, I don't know how long I've been here, but I do know that it's impossible to undo past events without rewriting the future. If I'm dead, which you've confirmed for me, then my body died in the past, meaning I can't be revived now.”

Discord just continued to stare at me in disbelief. “But, what about your friends and family? Doesn't it bother you that you'll never see them again?”

I couldn't help but grin smugly as I continued to goad the confused God of Chaos on. “Tsk, tsk, tsk. Oh Discord, and here I thought you knew me so well. Was all that stuff you were saying about you 'knowing all about me' just a bunch of lip service? If it wasn't, you'd know exactly what I me-”

“AAAAAAH SHADDAP!!!” Discord shouted (rather comically), before swatting me upside the head.

I swore I saw stars as his surprisingly hard paw made contact, and I definitely felt it when his claws dug into my flesh and swiped downward, leaving a trail of white-hot agony and what I'm sure was some nasty gashes. Doubling over, I howled in pain as I brought my hand up to feel...

...Nothing.

The pain had been all to real for it to not have happened, but all I frantically traced the trail of residual pain, back to the point of contact, there was not a single scratch to be found. I rose back to my feet, glaring spitfire at the floating God of Disorder, who was just looking at me stoically, but there was no mistaking the look of amusement dancing in his eyes.

Note to self; when the opportunity to troll a god presents itself, DO NOT take it. They will out-troll you every time and then some.

“Ewww, sorry about that Jace; forgot to retract the claws. That was only met to be a harmless gag for comic relief, I swear. Although, I probably should have seen your attempt at annoying me coming, since I kind of did do the same to you.” he sighed, poofing beside me. “So what do you say we bury the hatchet with that last quip, as I we do have more pressing matters to attend to. Truce?”

I had to consciously keep from throttling the smug bastard as Discord held out his paw, the very same paw he'd just used to claw off my face, a look of false, doe-eyed sadness on his face. Honestly, it was impossible to figure this guy out (at least it sounds like a guy). Begrudgingly, I reached off to shake his paw, only to be greeted with a sudden jolt, as red and gold electricity jumped from his fingertip to mine.

“Ouch! Then what the hell was that for?” I growled, rubbing my now tingling hand.

Discord raised and eyebrow, before seeming to understand (or acknowledge) my discomfort. “Oh that? That's just a little gift, from me to you; a small portion of my magic.”

Know it was my turn to raise an eyebrow. “Magic?”

“Yes. Since you agreed to be my champion, I figured I might as well give you a little something to help you down the line. You see, in my realm, magic is a very real thing, and is used by anyone with the ability to do so. Although what I have given you is but a fraction of my power, it is now a part of you, and it will grow stronger as you grow accustomed to using it. Now, onto other matters-”

“Wait, aren't you going to teach me how to use magic then?”

Discord shook his head.“Normally, yes, I would, but it this case, no. For my plan to work, you must be, or at least seem to be, completely ignorant of our world and how it works.”

I couldn't help but roll my eyes. “And, pray tell, what is your plan?”

“Huh, do I really have to explain everything to you? Oh, wait, I don't.”

[img]http://fc01.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2012/127/f/6/discord\_\_s\_best\_troll\_face\_by\_peachiekeenie-d4ywrc1.jpg [/img]

Oh, I'll give you something to explain, you self-righteous egotistical sonova-

“BUT!” Discord shouted, promptly interrupting my mental tie-raid , “Since I am such a generous and benevolent god, I will elaborate on a few key details for you.”

Snapping his fingers, an image appeared on the surface of the blue-whit sphere. This time, the orb showed the still image of a lavender.....horse? No, not a horse, it was much too small; a pony might be more accurate. From what I could tell, the pony was hunched over, straining against some unseen force. Protruding from the lavender pony's forehead was a short spiral horn, the tip flaring a bright purple glow. For the longest, all I did was stare, the sheer amount of “What the Fuck” shocking me into silence, before finally pinching the bridge of my nose in frustration.

“Okay, what am I supposed to be looking at here?”

Discord just stared at me for a few moments, before mentally face-palm in realization.

“Oh, right; not from Equestria.” He murmured. “Well, then let me start by saying that in my universe, humans don't exist. Instead the population is made up of a sentient race of ponies. Mind you that there are other races, like dragons and griffons, but ponies make up the vast majority. As these species are sentient, they able to communicate with one another, and have created languages, many of mirror your world's; including English, although here it's called Equish.”

“Okay...”

“The pony race is divided into three subsections: earth ponies, pegasi, and unicorns. As you may have guessed, earth ponies are your standard land-based equine, with no particularly remarkable skills outside their connection to the earth.”

“Uh huh...”

“Pegasi are winged equine with the ability to manipulate the weather. They are mainly used as a means of regulating the weather systems across the continent, so that the various farms across Equestria get the necessary rainfall to produce the most food, and to keep powerful storm systems from damaging property.”

“Go on...”

“The unicorns are the scholars and government officials of Equestria. Their horns allow them to use magic, as well as grants them greater intelligence and insight than most of the other races. However, this also gives them a bit of a snooty attitude when it comes to interacting with other races, as they see themselves as superior to almost all other races.”

“I'm with you so far...”

“The lavender unicorn is Twilight Sparkle, daughter of Twilight Velvet and Night Light, Bearer of the Element of Magic, and personal protege to Princess Celestia.”

As Discord continued, two smaller orbs separated from the sphere, revealing two rather large ponies, both sporting a sizable pair of wings on their backs and an unnervingly long horn on each of their heads.

The first one I noticed was smaller than the other, her coat a dark, midnight blue hue and her eyes were a gentle turquoise. Her mane, if this image was accurate, seemed to be flowing on a non-existent breeze, the flecks of light within winking beautifully, resembling the clear, nighttime sky. She had a crescent moon on her flank, shrouded in a motley black shadow.

The other one was slightly taller than the blue one, and managed to look, a great deal more regal in some respect. Her coat was a brilliant shade of eggshell white, and while her mane flowed in much the same way as the other, hers was a multitude of colors that reminded me of a rainbow. On her flank was emblazoned with a golden sun, rimmed with orange flames.

“Princess Celestia,” Discord spat, gesturing to the white winged unicorn, “is goddess of the Sun, and controls its movement through the daytime sky. Her sister, Princess Luna,” he gestured to the blue one. “is goddess of the night, and likewise controls the moon, its phases, and the position of the stars in the nighttime sky. These two are alicorns, and have access to the special abilities of every equine races, making them gods themselves.”

“Okay...and what does this have to do with the lavender pony? What was its name; Twilight Something-er-other?”

“Twilight Sparkle, and I was just getting to that.” He continued, waving the two smaller orbs into oblivion. “You see, Twilight is the Element of Magic, and is constantly seeking out new knowledge and insight into all things magical. At this very moment she is attempting a spell to summon open a portal another universe-'

“Like what you did to bring me here?”

Discord nodded. “Precisely. The only thing is this; her spell has no set target. Using my magic, I am going to change the direction of her spell so that you are the target of its effect, and subsequently “dragged” into Equestria, making it look like an unforeseen accident due to Twilight's lack of foresight.”

“This will place you in  a position where, not only will you be in the care of the leader of the Bearers of the Elements of Harmony, but it also puts you in a position to gain the favor of the Princesses,  and you never know when that might come in handy.”

I had to give Discord more credit than I had before; although he maybe the biggest troll I have ever met, his sudden display ingenuity and thorough planning showed their was much more to him than I’d thought. However, one thing was bugging me...

“Um... if you're a god, and they're goddesses, and this battle is going on in your domain, then why don't you just work with Celestia and Luna?”

Discord sighed, rolled his eyes. “I guess you missed the memo; they are goddesses that fight to protect their 'precious little ponies.' I am Discord, God of Chaos and Lord of Discord; I only do what is in my best interests. Do you really those goody-two-shoes, namby-pamby pony princesses would lower themselves so far as to work with a creature that is the very embodiment of the thing they wish to eradicate from the world? I think not.”

Now, normally, I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed when it comes to emotions. More often than not, I've been told my inability to empathize with others would cause me more trouble than not, and would likely be told so in the future. However, even being the emotionally inept person than I am, the pain, anger, and bitterness that radiated from Discord was, in that moment, so palpable, so immediately overpowering, that it felt as if the room itself was moments from being set ablaze by the raw intensity of his emotion alone.

Ignoring the growing urge to turn tail and run rapidly growing in my gut, I cautiously walked forward and placed a shaky hand on Discord's shoulder, trying to offer what little support I could.

Hey, I said was behavior blind, not heartless. Obviously, something had happened between Discord and the Princesses, and if it was anything like what happened between the myths of polytheistic religions on Earth, I was better off not knowing.

But no sooner had my hand touched his scaly shoulder, Discord's head snapped around to look directly into my eyes. His eyes, if they still could be called eyes, were blazing ballss with golden fire, with trembling slits of crimson for pupils. Wisps of black and red energy radiated out from him in jets, causing the air to sizzle aggressively.

I quickly withdrew my hand and floated a good ten feet back, never breaking eye contact the entire time. I was pretty sure he was going to hit you again, If not do something far worse worse, but instead, he turned to face away from you, seeming to take a moment to calm himself, before turning back to look at you.

“Now then, back to the matter at hand.” He dryly stated, as if nothing had just happened. “Now where was I....ah yes! The reason I can't teach you magic, or give you any in depth information on Equestria is that, in order for my plan to work, you have to appear to be completely ignorant of how Equestria's inner workings.”

He ended the sentence with a clap of his hands and the image of Twilight dissolved, leaving the sphere blank once more.

“Now, what species would you like to be?”

“....”

“....”

“....What?”

Now it was Discord's turn to stifle his laughter as I stared at him in disbelief. What species would I like to be? What kind of question is that? I was about to ask Discord myself, but apparently he expected it.

“If you'll recall what I said earlier, my universe is different from yours. More specifically, my universe has no humans to speak of, so if you are going to be my champion, first I'm going to have to make you a body, so that you can actually existence in Equestria.”

I opened and closed my mouth several times, trying to find the words to express my bisbelief, only for them to completely elude me. For a few of moments, I blankly stared into the distance as I tried to make sense of the  this new bit of information. Groaning in defeat, I swipe my hand though my hair and turn back to Discord.

“Okay, so just how many speicies do I have to work with?”

Discord grinned. “Oh there are quite a few, but I figured I'd let you look through them on your own.”

With a whip-like crack of his tail,  my surroundings darkened and became blurry, as if I was looking through a dusty window. In front of me, the blue orb had become a flat rectangle, and displayed a 3-D image of muscular pony that looked like me, as disturbing as that was. The upper left corner of the screen Earth Pony was underlined with a red arrow on either of its sides.  It seemed to be a touchscreen, which I confirmed when I  pressed the left arrow and the image of the “pony me” was replaced with a lean, rather angry-looking griffon.

“~So, what do you think~?” Discord chirped in a strangely sing-song manner.

“I think that you've been spending too much time playing my universe's video games.” I deadpanned, already lost in the process of character creation. “That being said, I kinda like the idea of being able to 'build' my new body.”

Man, could this day get and weirder?

“Okay then, I'll leave you to it. Just hit the “Create Avatar” button at your feet when your done.”

With that, Discord disappeared in a puff of smoke, leaving me to my work. For the hours that followed, I busied myself by combing over the finer features of my new soon-to-be body, marveling at the level of detail with which I could manipulate it's features. Height, weight, musculature, all of it could be changed with the tap of my finger  on the scene; I was even able to duplicate my birthmarks; a perfectly round, dark brown ring on the center of my chest and a blotchy X on bend of my left foot, or as it would later be, hoof.

When I was sure I was satisfied with the choices I made, I pressed the “Create Avatar” button, and my surroundings zipped back into focus, as the window shrink and zipped passed me into Discords outstretched hand.

“So, that's done, now what?”

“Now...your going to take a little nap.”

Before I could even ask what he meant, Discord was standing right in front of me, Hid scaly dragon claw wrapped in his signature gold aura. Whole body went stuff as a board, and I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end as Discord to begun waving his hand in front of my face, the ambient glow surrounding it growing brighter with each pass. Although I tried my damnedest to stay awake, soon enough my eyelids begun to grow heavy, and for some reason, couldn’t help but smile, as my vision began to blur and fade. I still had more than a few things I wanted to find out, but for the time being, I had some peace of mind as I finally drifted off into a deep, dreamless slumber.

*Discord's POV*

Discord stood there for a moment, as he watched Jace slip unceremoniously to the floor in an unconscious heap, and fade away, as Twilight's spell drug him into her house, the hollowed out tree far from his personal space. With a deep sigh, Discord visibly seemed to deflate, his exhaustion now visible in the lines of his face. Flopping down on the soft, red velvet cushions of his throne, Discord took a few deep, calming breaths as he let his mind wander and the inner machinations of his mind begin to turn. The first order of business; Jace.

By Celestia's beard, what was wrong with him?!

Based on the requirements Discord had set when he'd created his locator spell, Jace should have been intellegent, but cold, violent, apathetic, and damn near psychotic. From the few hours Discord had spent with him, Discord was reasonably sure Jace was intelligent, and more than a little random, but that was it. His show of compassion, even after Discord had attacked him, a purposeful attempt at rousing his anger, was more than evident of that.

Come to think of it, Jace had done everything under the sun except physically lash out at him; in the space of a few hours, Discord had been shocked into silence, underestimated, irritated, consoled, and worst of all out-trolled. True, he'd pretended to play of Jace's irritating jabs at his inability to predict his actions, but in truth it had annoyed him more than Fluttershy had the day of his release in the Canterlot Gardens...

Youtube Video

Urrrgh.....just thinking about it made Discord's head hurt and Jace only made it worse.

Ever since Discord had been made aware of the existence of humans, he had quickly developed a distinct fondness for their species. So chaotic, so violent, and so unpredictable (yet, for him, completely so) they were the only race he'd met, excluding Draconneguis themselves, that embodied chaos and disorder in its truest form. Couple that with their above average intelligence, adaptability, technology, and indomitable will to survive, and you had the recipe for the most fun Discord could ever ask for out of one race.

However, none of these factors made it difficult for Discord to read, interpret, and predict the actions of any person he'd ever brought to Equestria; he was Master of Mayhem and Disharmony, after all. So, although he wasn't exactly sure what Jace would do, he was sure of one thing.

“Things are going to be very interesting from here on out.” he mused, smirking as he stared into the distance, a thousand and one ideas playing through his mind.

Ch.1 - One Hell of a Wake-Up Call (Misunderstanding)

*Jace's POV*

The welcoming darkness of sleep slowly lifted from my foggy mind.  Although my brain hadn't fully awoken from the magically-induced stupor Discord had put me in, I promptly noticed several distinct differences with my body.

An odd numbness clung to my limbs and body, and as I opened my eyes, I was greeted with an empty nothingness filled my vision.  I began to panic, fearing that Discord, for whatever reason, had lost interest in me, and decided to let me float haplessly in the gaping maw of darkness that was limbo once more. However, that theory was quickly dispelled, as a sliver of light fell on my puffy eyes, making them sting like hellfire. I rolled over onto my side, away from the light, as I gave my eyes time to adjust before  looking around.

I looked up at the wooden ceiling before looking around; I was in some kind of library  or study, as shelves upon shelves lined the walls, each completely covered books. I lay on a queen sized bed, a blue star-speckled cover, covering most of my new body, if Discord's words were to be taken at face value.

Although it wasn't much to go on, that little bit of information did help to quell my growing anxiety,  as I was still in an unfamiliar building and in an entirely foreign body. Raising my right arm above the sheets, I looked to find that this body was, in fact, not my own. Although my arm was still 'human' in build, rather than the smooth, dark brown skin I was accustomed to seeing, I know sported a rough-looking, dark red hide. The heavy mass of muscles bulged beneath the skin, and even the slightest movement seemed to make it ripple vigorously, as if it was threatening to tear the skin wide open.

Reaching up to my face, I found that, first, I had to maneuver a round four ribbed horns, something I had not expected, nor planned for. The first two I found extended from in front of where my ears used to be, down to just below my chin; they even seemed to follow my jawline, bending and flexing with my jaw as I breathed. The other two jutted out from the upper corners of my forehead, and came to a wickedly sharp point a foot away from my nose, or in this case, snout. My face had been replaced with an elongated muzzle and my ears know stood on the top of my head, flopping this way and that.

I tossed off the covers off to get a better look at the rest of my body, which was thankfully, as I planned for it to be. The black ink dyed the majority of my heavily muscled chest with intricate Nordic tribal tattoos. I was covered in thick, brown fur the waist down, and where my feet normally would have been, wide, pitch black hooves took there place.

"Huh," I sighed, hopping out of the bed with a heavy thud. "I guess that wasn't a dream after all. So, now that that's out of the way, I guess the next questions is 'where the hell am I'."

Taking a moment to do some early morning stretches to get a feel for this new body, I began thinking about what I'd do first, now that I was in a new world.

But before that, I mused, I need to get out of this room.

As I walked over to the door, I thought back to the conversation I'd had with Discord, trying to remember the specifics, on his part.

Hmm...if I remember correctly, he'd said that purple unicorn was trying to summon something here from another world, right? So than, this is probably her house. And she's supposed to be the "element of magic", which means......... she could probably turn me inside out with little more than a thought.

Someone just kill me now.

Just thinking about it made my guts churn; until I knew more about this Twilight Sparkle, I'd have to be very careful. Of course, if her name was anything to go on, I was probably freaking myself out for nothing. Turning the handle, I found the door opened with ease, as is swung open without so much as a sound. Dropping down to one knee, I looked around what I assumed to be the living room. Just like the bedroom I'd woken up in, the walls and ceiling were made entirely of solid oak, with no splits or seems to be found. Rows upon rows of books lined the countless shelves carved into the walls, stretching all the way up to the ceiling. As I made my way down the stairs, a strange light from a door on the far side of the room caught my eye.

“The...basement, perhaps?” I mumbled to myself, sweat already forming on my forehead.

Ah, yes; the basement. How many movies have you watched where the crazies are always shacked up in their basement, doing god knows what to god knows who?

Shut up for a minute. I snarled in my head. I'm going to take a look.

Oh well then. I'll shut it for now, but remember ;it's your funeral.

Swallowing the growing lump in my throat, I made my way over to the basement, and slowly opened the door, careful to not let it squeak. Peering through the crack, is instantly regretted my decision, as my heart started hammering away, until it's rapid pounding was all I could hear.

The purple unicorn, Twilight Sparkle,  stood in the middle of a large room, seemingly made of gray, petrified wood, sporting a white lab coat, safety goggles, and a terribly inkept mess of an indigo mane.  Around her all manner of sinister looking equipment. Yellow electricity jumping back and forth between several large electrodes, flooding the room with dim, orange glow.

“Hmmmm....maybe I should go and check on him again?” Twilight murmured to herself. “I've got so many questions to ask him....and even more test to run. It's not everyday somepony manages to bring another sentient being from another universe to Equestria.”

I felt the hairs on the make of my neck stand on end as Twilight stared at the firing electrodes, the electricity making her eyes glow, and a slight, but very creepy smile spread across her muzzle.

“I sure hope he wakes up soon.”

CCCCRRRRRRREEEEEEAAAAKKKKK!!!

A bead of sweat rolled down my cheek as the door of the basement opened with an all too loud groan, and Twilight turned around so fast I barely noticed. For what seemed like hours, we just stared at each other, an expression of deranged fascination on her face, and what I'm sure was a look of barely contained fear on mine. The silent dragged on, the tension, an almost tangible presence hanging in the air, only to be broken by my strained breathing. Finally, Twilight Sparkle was the one who broke the silence, her eyes narrow and crazed.

“Oh good, your awake! Now we can finally begin!” She squealed, an ear-to-ear smile framing her face.

You want my advise? RUN!

I didn't need to be told twice, as I frantically charged towards the front door, barely keeping my balance I slammed into the heavy oak door. Either due to my new-found strength, or just being plain scared, the door splintered under the force on the with little resistance, and I raced out of the house like an angry bull elephant. Or, in this case, and angry bull.

“Wait! Come back here!”

Fuck me! God, if your listening, GIMME A BREAK ALREADY!!!

*Twilight Sparkle's POV*

Also Backtrack To Basement Laboratory

Twilight Sparkle stood in the middle of here basement lab, trying to focus on her latest experiment, the keyword being trying. And failing miserably, as her thoughts continued to stray to the minotaur that now lie sleep in the upstairs guest room. It been seven days, five hour and thirty-two since transported him to Equestria, and he had yet to so much as twitch. That is, assuming he was a him to begin with. When Twilight had first attempted to use the scraying spell to view other dimensions, the hairless, bipedal creatures she'd seen had both shocked and fascinated her to no end; shocked, because she had only used the spell on a whim, which she rarely ever did, and fascinated because their mannerisms, their daily activities, their speech (especially their speech), it was all so....similar.

With a few exceptions here and there, the “hue-man” society functioned in much the same way as pony society, despite their inability to fly or use magic. But what intrigued her most was their technology. If her assumptions were, both human and pony society had existed for roughly the same amount of time, and yet ninety percent of hue-man technology exceeded theirs by as much as two, if not three centuries. Just that fact alone made her want to learn more about them. What hue-man history like? Were their elements of harmony on their planet? Who controlled the cycles of their sun, moon and stars? What were those odd, rectangular pieces of plastic they held to their heads? Sadly, the only one who could satisfy her curiosity was lying unconscious upstairs, and was showing no signs of waking up any time soon.

“Hmmmm....maybe I should go and check on him again?” Twilight murmured to myself. “I've got so many questions to ask him....and even more test to run. It's not everyday somepony manages to bring another sentient being from another universe to Equestria.”

Still, even if the hue-man was unconscious, that hadn't stopped her from conducting as many tests as she possibly could on his physical body. For the last several days, she'd spent many a sleepless night any and all aspects of his being that she could. The first three were spent taking detailed measurements of his body (arms, legs, torso, waist, hooves, fingers, etc,). The next three had been analyzing the chemical properties of his sweat, saliva, and eye crust. And, while that had been fun and all, it hadn't given her anything new; the data yielded from the experiments was consistent with that from her Minotaur: Anatomy of the Half-Bull Highlanders book. Whatever transformation had occurred during his coming to Equestria, it had completely changed his body into that of a minotaur's. So, once again, the only way to get the answers she wanted, no...the answers she craved, was for him to wake up and tell her.

“I sure hope he wakes up soon.”

CCCCRRRRRRREEEEEEAAAAKKKKK!!!

Whirling around at the sudden noise,Twilight stared, speechless, into the eyes of the very human-made-minotaur she'd been so worked up over the past few days. In the space of a few second's her expert eyes swept over ever facet of his body. The sweat on his brow, the tautness of his muscles, the rapid narrowing of his pupils, even the most infinitesimally minute of details were swiftly noted and memorized to be jotted down at a later date. For now...there were tests to be done!

“Oh good, your awake! Now we can finally begin!” She squealed, unable to contain the excitement she'd been suppressing all week.

The hue-man's eyes bulged to the size of saucer's, and that was all the warning Twilight got before he turned tail and ran. Teleporting up to the living room, Twilight just barely managed to catch a glimpse of a red and brown blur as it careened into her front door, smashing it to pieces, and barreling straight into the middle of town, no worse for wear.

…...

…...

…...

Was it something I said?

(Prologue Chapter 1 of 2) End of the Road, Jack. Or is it? *Edited*

(Prologue Chapter 1 of 2) End of the Road, Jack. Or is it? *Edited*

Have you ever wondered what it's like to be a rag-doll? No? How about a rag-doll flung a good fifteen feet in the air when it was hit by a drunk driver? Still no? Well then, good for you. Unfortunately for me, I don't have that privilege. Why, you may ask?

The answer's simple: I am that rag-doll.

Today didn't start out so shitty, as a matter-of-fact, I'd say it was actually one of the best days I'd had in a long time; I'd finally got promoted to district manager at Wall-Mart I'd wanted, I proposed to my bombshell of a girlfriend (she said yes, by the way), and I'd finally made my final mortgage payment on my house. Yeah, it had been one hell of a damn good day.

But of course, the universe just had to be a colossal douchebag and knock me off that emotional high, and what better way to do it than have some asshole battering-ram me with his Ford F1-50. As I flew through the air, all I could think of was.... well, truth be told, I wasn't thinking much about anything but the ungodly amount of pain I was in. That is, until gravity decided to finally kick in and I began the rapid headlong descent towards the hardened asphalt below. That's when I was finally able to for one coherent:

Damn, physics and gravity suck ass.

With that, I plowed face-first into the pavement below, tumbling head-over-heel as the second impact shattered even more of my already broken bones, sending multiple waves of white-hot agony racing up and down my body. I continued to roll along the ground until I finally came to a grinding halt at the sidewalk, smashing my temple against the edge of the curb in the process. Black and red dots flicked across my field of vision as my sight began to blur. I was vaguely aware of all the commotion around me; cars came to a grinding halt, people were yelling as they crowded around me; something warm and wet was running down my arm and legs, but I couldn't move my head to look and see what it was. The pain was excruciating, but it was quickly overcome by complete and exhaustion.

My eyes grew heavy, as my vision became more and more distorted. I was about to just rest my eyes for a moment, but an abrupt slap (it felt like a slap) jarred me into semi-alertness. Raising my head slowly, an act I found to be extremely difficult, I managed to look at my unknown assailant, only to have my heart drop into my gut and what little air I had leave my lungs in a pained huff. Kneeling over me, tears streaming down her face, was Rachel; my girlfriend, and soon-to-be wife. I offered her a weak smile as I went to push myself up, but when I did, my arm snapped  with a sickening crack, causing me to once again have some quality face-time with the ground. Rachel reacted almost immediately, lifting my head off the ground and laying it on her lap. It was so warm and comfortable, and within seconds my vision began to blur again. I felt something drip onto my face, and managed to turn my head just enough to see Rachel crying all the more. I tried to say something, anything, but my mouth wouldn't seem to obey me. I say Rachel's mouth move, but I couldn't make out the words as I finally slipped into unconsciousness, the pitch black darkness pulled me into its cold embrace.

*Discord's POV*

“Hmmm, no.... no.... no. Most definitely not. Niet. Nin. Not likely. HAH, you've got to be kidding me.”

Sitting on his throne of peanut brittle and chocolate, Discord continued to sort through all the potential candidates for his little game. Since he'd decided to play nice with Celestia's “precious little ponies”, Discord had quickly found himself at wits end with boredom, having exhausted every means he could think of to entertain himself that didn't involve creating glorious chaos and sending the good citizens of Equestria running in fear.

Or, that was, until “The Chess Game Of the Gods” began. Discord wasn't quite sure which of the other gods had started the game, but it had quickly gained ground among all the Gods over every pantheon known to ponykind (and some not known). The goal of the game was simple; bring a sentient creature into Equestria, by hook or by crook, and get them to one-up the other god's chosen few. It was a clever little game, one that Discord was ashamed he hadn't thought of first (or had he, he couldn't quit remember).

But recently, Discord's old friend-turned nemesis Erebus had taken to the game like a moth to a flame, which wasn't boding well for the rest of the gods participating. Unlike the rest of the gods, who chose to influence the actions of their “chess pieces” through complex scenarios, Erebus chose to take a more direct, sinister approach, planting a piece of his darkness in the minds of his chosen pieces. That darkness either slowly overrode the morals and inhibitions of those chosen, making them some of the most effective killing machines out there, or it tore them apart, mind, body and soul, until not but a wisp of their former selves remained.

The other gods, had taken note of this, but were unable to do much more than try to off his players before they became a threat, after all, what he was doing wasn't necessarily against the rules. However, that left Discord at a distinct disadvantage. Seeing as Erebus had a total hard-on for him, Erebus had sent his players after Discord's, wiping all but a few of them of the face of Equestria. Discord had tried to make up for it, fashioning a spell linked to his mind that would automatically sort out the potential players he liked from the ones he didn't. The problem was that the spell was still in its infancy, so at the end of the day he still needed to sort throw the potential players the spell singled out.

Groaning in frustration at the menial task before him, Discord slumped down into his peanut and chocolate laden throne, nibbling on a piece of cotton candy cloud he'd poof-ed into existence beside his head.

“There's got to be somepony out their with the skills to outwit Erebus's force of blood-thirsty, evil-addled buffoons. I mean, come now; if it weren't for him jamming his evil into their overcrowded skulls, they wouldn't even BE that much of a threat.” he shouted to no one, jabbing his clawed talon into his own temple before placing it to his chin, suddenly deep in thought.

….....

A moment passed in silence, then another, and another until...

“THAT'S IT!!!!”

Leaping from his throne, Discord began dancing madly to an unheard tone with boundless enthusiasm, while his mind began turning over and fine-tuning what he believed to be one of his best plans yet. So Erebus wants to infect his little pawns with darkness? Fine; two can play that game.

“Now the only question is, who to test it on?”

No sooner had he said this, the orb he'd used as the medium for his spell began to pulse a vibrant array of gold, red, and black swirls. Peering into its depths, Discord gazed at the scene it showed him, before switching to show him an image of Twilight Sparkle in her home, casting a particularly difficult spell from the looks of it. Upon closer observation, Discord's enthusiastic grin grew into a full-blown psychotic smile; he knew that spell. He couldn't have asked for a more perfect opportunity if he tried, and he wasn't about to pass it up know.

*As of Yet Unnamed MC's POV*

I've heard people say that the afterlife was supposed to be one of the  nicest, most peaceful places in all of existence. That  a feeling of serenity and absolute bliss should wash over you like a waterfall as you'd drift lazily towards pearly-white gates that open onto eternal paradise. We have all heard stories of near-death experiences and let me tell you right now.

They. Are. Full. Of. Shit.

Ever-so enticingly close, but well out of reach, was a celestial light shining high above me, it radiance as warm and inviting as a lit fireplace, away from the cold of a roaring blizzard. Beneath me, and far too close for comfort, a fire raged with infernal intent amidst a sea of molten magma, the smell of sulfur and brimstone assailing me senses relentlessly. All around me, to all sides except far above and below, was a black expanse of empty nothingness. Neither cold nor hot, frightening nor comforting, the black abyss opened wide, leaving nothing but doubt and suspense. In that empty void I hung, my weightless soul seemingly stuck between the threshold of  condemnation of salvation; I only wished that I could move even an inch, to bring this matter of indecision to a close for better or worse. And yet, that still wasn't the worst of it.

One thing that those near-death stories never tell you was that, as you hang there, floating between these two contrasting realms, you continue to relive your death with excruciating clarity, as if it was re-occurring at that very moment. I heard the squeal of breaks as they try and fail to bring the pickup truck to a stop in time; I feel the impact of the trucks front fender against my side as my arm, ribs and leg shatter under the tremendous force; I see the look of utter sadness and despair reflected in Rachel's eyes as mine shut for the last time.

The scenes played out in my mind over and over again, all the pain of those final moments repeating, with no room for reprieve, leaving me feeling weak, frustrated, and with half a dozen questions reeling in my mind. Why was I being forced to relive this horrible pain? Shouldn’t death have numbed me to pain entirely since I had no nerves or body to feel it with? Why wasn't I going anywhere? Was this what it would be like for the rest of eternity? There were so many questions, but I couldn’t bring myself to answer any of them, mostly because I was afraid of the answer. By all rights I should have been been driven mad by this and yet here I was, still able tothink and experience every bit of agony my death had to offer. It was so awful, yet all I could do was shut my eyes, grit my teeth, and bare it.

Oh, why hello there, Jace. Enjoying all that limbo has to offer, I take it?

Okay, the disembodied voice was new. Looking around all I saw was just the same as earlier; Light above, fire below, and darkness everywhere in between. Even though, the voice sounded familiar, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. I raised my hand to scratch my head in thought.

…...

…...Wait a minute....

I COULD MOVE MY HAND!!!

Looking down at the appendage, I confirmed that, sure enough I was able to move it about without restraint or restriction. Testing the rest of my limbs, I found that they too were free of whatever force held them not moments ago. Swiveling around, I found myself no longer starring into empty blackness, but the entrance to what I could only describe as a throne room.

The room itself was the strangest thing I'd ever seen. Several different color schemes were laid out on the floor in a spiral pattern while while the six banners on the walls each held a distinct pattern of gold, red and black, depicting a creature that looked like a Frankenstein style mash-up of six or seven different species of animal. The “throne” was actually a throne-shaped sculpture made of chocolate and peanut brittle. Chocolate milk waterfalls fell out of huge pink clouds as upside down paintings, buildings, rocks, and other debris floated around haphazardly. In short, this place was a disaster and a half.

I opened and closed my mouth several times, at a lose for words to describe how I felt about this severe case of WTF before me. Truth be told, I don't think anyone could.

“So,  my dear Jace, what do you think of my my personal space?”

This time the no-longer-disembodied voice came from behind me. Swiveling around in the air, I found myself gawking in open-mouth disbelief for the second time in the space of a few minutes. The same creature who's portrait decorated the banners of this fun-house throne room now lie a few feet behind me, lying on a floating couch and sipping from a glass of what looked like apple cider.

“Well, if this is your idea of interior decorating, remind me not to ask you to fix up my house.” I deadpanned. After the crap I just had to deal with, I was in no mood to make small-talk with the monster version of a jumbled-up Rubix Cube. The mix-matched creature crossed at arms, obviously more than a little bit offended at my bluntness, to which I only shrugged.

“Hey, you asked; I answered. If you didn't like it, you shouldn't have asked the question in the first place.”

Placing it's hand to it's chin, the creature seemed to mull this over for a moment before shrugging dismissively, “Hmm; fair enough, but that's neither here nor there, and of little importance where your concerned, Jace.”

I couldn't help but raise an eyebrow at that, crossing my arms defensively. “How is it that you know my name? I don't remember introducing myself.”

The creature just rolled his eyes, as if fact that I didn't already know the answer bugged it to no end.“Oh come now, must we really go through this? You ask, 'How do you know my name', to which I answer 'Oh, I know all about you, Jace'. You then toss out some charming little quip like 'Oh really? Well then prove it' and I'll tell you all about yourself, leaving you standing there, gawking at me, unable to believe your ears....much the same way as you are know.”

True to his word, I was just floating their, mouth a gap, as he rattled off the exact same scenario than had just played out in my mind. It was... unsettling, to say the least, that a creature I'd never seen, and never would have thought existed, knew so much about me, yet I knew so little about it. I couldn't help but lean away from the creature, which also made me lazily drift back a few inches.

Once more the mix-matched creature rolled it's eyed, but this time the action was accompanied by a poorly hidden smile. “And know it seems that my having such a profound understanding of who you are has upset you. Oh, I do so hate making bad first impressions What to do, what to do....Ah, yes!”

With a snap of the creature's fingers, the grossly chaotic room began setting itself to right; the pink clouds vanished in a puff of gold smoke, the several color schemes laid out on the floor blended together, turning each tile into a glossy shade of crimson red. Pillars of polished black stone rose from the floor, white veins running there length and strips of gold surrounding their base. The throne, no longer made of chocolate and peanut brittle was now a rather sinister-looking vestige of gray and red metals, a massive pair of deer antlers protruding from its tracery, near the top of the back. After a quick look at his handiwork, the creature gave a stoic nod before appearing in front of me, a rather welcoming, if not somewhat unsettling smile on its face.

“I believe I may have... forgotten myself in my haste; I forgot how anxious you humans can get when confronted with something outside your comfort-zone. Allow me to start over.” It said, holding out its paw, “My name is Discord: dracconequuis, and Spirit of Chaos and Disorder.”

Discord.

Again, that name rang with an unquestionable pang of familiarity, just as his voice had. Come to think of it, before he had reconstructed the room, it too had a familiar look to it. I was so wrapped up in my own jumbled confusion that I hardly noticed Discord take hold of my hand, shaking it vigorously and jarring me off my train of thought.

"Uh, yeah; my name's Jace...but then, you already knew that.”

Discord simply nodded. “Quite. Now, before I begin explaining why you're here, I'd like to apologize for having left you in Limbo for so long. I can this from personal experience; it's not pleasant. But I do have a reason for placing you in such a...distasteful position.”

“Being...?”

If words could kill, the venom behind that one would have been more than enough to have this mix-matched spit-fuck foaming at the mouth. Alas, all it got from him was look of false injury and a weak smile, neither of which did anything to make me feel less pissed. What did catch my attention, however, was when Discord settled onto his throne, crossing his legs and placing his hands on the armrests.

In a split second, the outgoing, but thoroughly irritating draconequuis had gone from being kind, if not super creepy, to completely stoic and unemotional, actually looking the part of the all- powerful Lord of Chaos he claimed to be. Gazing up into his cold, apathetic red and yellow eyes, I felt a chill shoot up my spine and I suddenly felt very, very small.

"Tell me Jace, are you familiar with the concept of the multiverse?” Discord asked, his voice as apathetic and icy as his gaze. All I could manage was a hesitant nod.

“Good, than you'll understand as I explain the situation.”

With an abrupt flick of the wrist, all the the torches in the room were sniffed out in an instant, their reddish-gold glow replaced by the dull, silver glower from a giant sphere in the center of the room.

“You see, as there are infinitely many universe, each unique in its own specific way, so too are their infinitely many gods and goddesses that rule these universes. Now, most gods choose to go about their work discretely, so as to prvent those in their charge from becoming complacent sheep who rely solely on the god to provide for their every need. However there are some, like myself, who take an active role in the day-to-day affair of mortals.”

As Discord spoke, the sphere began to tremble and shift, until images began to flick across its surface. The first was an explosion of some sort, blasting outward, and at its center was the flickering of a shadowed form. With every passing moment the faded silhouette would change shape, first a winged women, then a horned man; a strong figure bathed in a warm light, a fragile frame shrouded in an encroaching darkness. All these and more flashed  across the globe's surface before it suddenly burst into multiple smaller orbs, each showing what I assumed to be other universes. Each showed events of a similar theme, but each unique in and of itself; an older couple cuddling by a fireplace; children running through a field of grass, a mother holding her child lovingly in her arms. Each was a beautiful sight, and I couldn't help but smile, the warmth these tender moments seeming to flow into me.

“Some seek to bring about peace and prosperity to all those in there charge, to take an active role in the further improvement of the sentient race. Still others just use those in their care to satisfy whimsical impulses and wanton desires.” Discord continued, “And still...”

Youtube Video

Suddenly, the dull light from the azure orbs changed to piercing, crimson red, as the happy, joy-filled scenes burned away from the orbs' surface with a deafening shriek, and I felt a chill slowly crawl it's way up my spine as new images came to take there place. In one, a child lay crying over the still, lifeless body of his mother, a puddle of blood steadily forming beneath them. In another, more bodies, some still moving, hung suspended in mid-air, each impaled atop tall, barbed posts. A pale, pasty- skinned man in a black suit and red tie strode lazily down a near deserted street, a sickeningly wide, ear-to-ear grin displaying rows of jagged, bloodstained teeth. Behind him, a legion of monsters, all resembling living shadows, writhed about in twisted exhilaration, before dashing past him to the crowd ahead. People stumbled over one another in an attempt to outrun the monstrosities, but never made it very far before slender, bony claws seized them and haphazardly tore them apart.

I felt bile burn the back of my throat as I fought the urge to empty the contents of my stomach onto the floor. I looked back at Discord's throne, only to find him standing right beside me, watching the massacre with a frigid, melancholy expression.

“...Other gods,” Discord mumbled, his voice no more than a whisper, “seek nothing more than to cause not but pain and suffering; to see all life extinguished, and to thrust whole worlds into eternal destruction, for whatever reason they may have. That is why I've brought you here.”

With a wave of his lions paw, the sights and sound coming from the orbs faded into oblivion, as the orbs dissolved and the torches re-lit, returning the room to its original state.

“I don't know who, or for what reason, but war has erupted among the gods, and their chosen battlefield is my domain. I have brought you hear to offer you a second chance at life and to hopefully turn the tide of this war back in my favor. I want you to be one of my champions.”

......

…...

…....

“….Deal.”