Stop being so stuck-up AJ

Chapters

I accidentally the whole
Misery loves company
Keep it cool

I accidentally the whole

The sun hung low in the west, casting yellow beams of light through the branches in the vast orchards of Sweet Apple Acres. An orange mare and her enthusiastic little sister was finishing the day’s work. To be honest, and the orange mare almost always was, the filly wasn’t as enthusiastic as she had been when they set out just after dawn the same day. The hard labour, dusty midday heat and lack of hot food had the younger pony’s ears drooping and the usual spring in her step was gone. Her own hooves were just as dirty and her belly was also rumbling for food but she was an Apple mare, and Apple mares were a hardy breed. Taking pity on her younger sister struggling - and failing - to bring one of the last bushels of apples to it’s place, she called out to her.

“Hey Applebloom, who don’t ya call it a day and lemme finish up around here.”

The younger mare looked like she was going to argue for a moment but in the end she just gave a weak nod. Seeing the downcast expression she took a breath.

“You did good in the field today, almost a grown mare’s work”, Applejack continued, “Ah’m proud of you little sis”. “Go home and take a long bath before dinner and have some fun”

With those words her ears perked up a little and a smile grew on the filly’s face.

“Thanks Applejack, you want me to have Big Mac come and help ya out?” Applebloom was almost already on her way back to the farm house.

“No need, Ah’m almost finished here”, she called after the rapidly disappearing filly, “Ah need to get me some woodwork done before dinner anyway”.

Applejack had just finished tying the tarp over the last few bushels of apples when she got a strange feeling someone was watching here. Trying to push the feeling away only served to scare her witless when she turned around to stand almost snout to snout with a certain Rainbow Dash grinning devilishly.

“Ohbycelestia!” she screamed as she jumped what felt like at least a few feet into the air. After realizing what had transpired the fear turned into anger as she felt her pride melt away. “Rainbow Dash, what’s the meaning of sneaking up on honest hard working ponies like that”. Her heart was still pounding in her chest.

“Oh relax, AJ, I saw you working when my cloud drifted by and I thought I would say hi.” She said with a grin and took a bite of the apple Applejack now realized she had in her cyan hoof.

Applejack was still flustered from the sudden encounter, and didn’t really know what to say to that. She decided she needed to do something with her hooves but couldn’t really decide what. The result was an ungracious and from an outside perspective very weird dance that went on fow a few seconds before Applejack regained control over her own body. The pegasus’ grin got wider and Applejack felt a blush rising on her cheeks. She didn’t really know why but she felt incredibly mad at the pegasus standing in front of her with that stupid grin on her face and eating - was that one of her apples by the way? - apples like there wasn’t a care in the world. She regained her composure enough to formulate a reply.

“You drifted past?” Applejack immediately realized how stupid the question was. Of course she drifted past, she just told you so. She is always drifting about, napping on that stupid cloud of hers. Preening a feather now and then. Not a care in the world. Meanwhile, I’m working my plot off down here.

“Yeah, and I…” the cyan mare didn’t have time to finish before Applejack cut her off.

“You laze around all day on your cloud, and then come down to scare hardworking ponies?”, she took a breath, “And is that mah apple you’re eating, you gonna pay me for that or are you too content mooching?” She could feel the anger building now.

“By Celestia AJ, no need to yell at me. I can come by with a bit later if it’s that important to you”

At least that infuriating grin was gone now. “Ah expect you do, now git!” The pegasus only stared at her. “Git! Ah have work to do”.

That seemed to do the trick.

As the cyan pegasus took to the air she yelled back. “You know what you need AJ? You need to stop being so damn stuck up”.

As the orange mare stood lost in thought, gazing at the sky and the rapidly vanishing pegasus, she suddenly felt a very uncomfortable lump form in her belly. She shook her head as if to clear it and bucked a poor unsuspecting tree so hard she almost tore it from the ground.

“Damn pegasi”

Applejack loved woodworking. It always seemed to clear her mind. And with Sweet Apple Acres being what it was there was never any shortage of stuff to make. It was usually just the odd fencepost that needed replacing or a window shutter that needed a little sanding before being repainted. This however, had been a much more challenging project. It was an apple, simple as that. Carved from a single piece of wood, it would be mounted over the door to their home. A loving testament to their family way of life as Applejack liked to think. She had spent several evenings in the barn cutting, shaping and sanding a big piece of apple wood into an apple shape. It was almost done, and after the fifth coat of oil she just applied had dried, she would add the little stem and wooden leave she had cut out separately.

Applejack stood and admired her handiwork. Almost perfectly resembling an apple in both shape and size, silken smooth, the wet coat of linseed oil giving in a lovely shine. The loving smile however, turned into a frown when she saw the sawdust and woodchips that littered her workplace. That needed to be cleaned up, dinner would be in half an hour, and her stomach was already rumbling in annoyance. Looking about for the broomstick they kept around here to clean the woodworking area she spied it on the top shelf of a nearby shelf. As she failed to reach it, despite standing on her hind legs, she silently cursed her tall brother and his inability to grasp the fact that most what he found “convenient” was in fact “impossible to reach” for most of his kind. Spying a tall rickety stool standing in a corner of the barn she grumblingly dragged it toward the shelf. As she balanced on top of the stool she just managed to reach the broom with her mouth. Applejack just had time to give a contented grunt of success before the inevitable happened the stool seemed to disappear from under her. The grunt turned into an undignified squeal and a flailing of hooves before she felt something come up and hit her in the head.

Applejack slowly sat up and gave a confused groan. Her body hurt in multiple places, her head and plot being the worst offenders. Tools lay scattered across the floor, and sawdust made company with the usual kind of dust in her coat. Slowly rising to her feet, and rubbing her head she looked around at the devastation. Beginning to gather up the tools and place them in their correct places the pain in her head went away, but the pain in her plot - or what she admitted with a blush - her puckered tailhole, wasn’t going away. Finally putting the last tool back in it’s place, she realized something was missing. Her apple was nowhere to be found. She began looking around the barn, figuring it could have rolled quite a long way, it being round and all. It wasn’t after scouring the entire floor she came to the only reasonable conclusion.

“Well dagnabbit, it must just have vanished into thin air” she said out loud to the barn around her.

The barn didn’t answer, and she realised it wasn’t the only reasonable conclusion after all. Not with the dull ache of her abused pucker and the now very unmistakable mass resting inside it.

“Well dagnabbit!” she said again.

Then she panicked.

After ten minutes of panickingly trying to claw at her backside and trying to push the offending piece of wood out she decided she had enough of that. It clearly wasn’t working, it’s only result being a sheen of sweat now matting her coat and giving her a even more disheveled look. The wooden apple, which so brazenly had entered her tailhole, weren’t coming out, no matter how much she pushed. It was simply too big, and her inners weren’t as strong as the whole of Applejack falling on the piece of wood.

Catching her breath, she decided to think rationally. Deciding it was best to get a feel about what she had to deal with she lay down on her back. Spreading her hind legs, and pulling her hooves down in between made her able to reach her tailhole. Bearing down made she could feel her pucker widening just enough for the piece of smooth wood to peek out. But, according to what she felt, it wasn’t nearly enough to get it out. She tried grasping it, but her hooves turned out to be poor tools for that job. Bending forward and holding her hooves between her legs turned out to be a surprisingly exhausting exercise. She could feel her sweat starting to form again so she took a break and just lay there on the floor thinking. Suddenly it hit her, lubrication! With enough oil she should be able to get the piece out, same as it went in. Finding and opening the bottle of linseed oil, she applied a generous amount to her hooves, before assuming position on her back again. However, getting the oil inside her plot was a easier said than done. A lot of it dripped on her coat, between her legs, and - Applejack realized with a blush - her marehood and teats. Pushing the thought aside she began to push the damn apple out and rubbing a generous amount of lubricant on every time. As she worked it in and out and rubbing with her hooves she thought she could feel it come a little farther out every time. Spurred by this, she slathered on more oil and pushed even harder. She could feel her poor abused pucker strain to it limits. It hurt, a lot actually, but she was an Apple mare and she would get through this. Rubbing more lubricant on her nethers, she made a big push and could feel something beginning to form deep inside her. A muscle twitch almost, and she took one more shuddering breath to prepare for what she believed was the final push. Then the door opened.

For Applejack, time and space took an almost peculiar quality in that moment. For starters, time seemed to slow down to almost a standstill. Secondly, she existed in both her and her brothers place at the same time. Because as much as she could see his eyes wide open in surprise, the ever present straw of grass slowly falling towards the ground from a gaping mouth, she could see herself from her brothers perspective. Sweat mattered her coat, her nethers would be glistening with oil, her legs spread in an obscene manner, her hair disheveled, her hat on the floor behind her. She was just about to say something when she slowly saw her brothers mouth and throat begin to work as if trying to form a sound.

“Eyyyy… nope”

As the door closed behind her brother Applejack buried her burning shame in the well worn leather of a Stetson hat.

Misery loves company

Sleep didn’t come easy to Applejack that night. After the shameful encounter with her brother she had got herself cleaned up and headed towards the house she shared with her closest family. Dinner was on the table when she entered, her fur still damp from the bucket of water she had poured over herself to rid herself of dust, oil and - although it shamed her to admit it - other fluids from her marehood. She stuck her head into the kitchen and conveyed a mumbled excuse about why she needed to skip dinner and head right into bed, all while avoiding all eye contact with her brother. Ignoring the rambling protest of Granny Smith about healthy meal and growing up strong Applejack fled to the sanctuary of her bedroom. When there, she gave a great sigh of relief. She couldn’t bear the thought of having dinner with her family after all that had happened, especially not with her brother, not with THAT thing still stuck up her bum.

So now she lay awake, thoughts spinning in her head. Her stomach gave a low rumble and Applejack turned, for what felt like the hundredth time, in her bed. She didn’t dare to eat anything, for she didn’t know what effect food piling up behind the wooden intruder would have. Would she get sick? Did she have to go to the doctor tomorrow? Applejack didn’t like that idea at all. Having to explain her predicament to strange ponies wasn’t something she was very keen on doing. Also, if she met someone she knew at the local hospital, she would most likely be bombarded with well-meaning questions about her health. And Applejack would have to lie. And Applejack, she admitted to herself, wasn’t a very good liar. And even worse, if her family got wind of it they wouldn’t be so easily dismissed. Especially since her encounter with ‘Mac earlier, any attempt to persuade him of it being an accident would be impossible. With an annoyed motion she threw off her sheets and took a few resolute steps towards the small cabinet she kept in the corner. On the top shelf hidden behind some books she found what she was looking for. A clear glass bottle of fortified cider along with a small glass, both the passed down belongings of her late father.

Three glasses later Applejack crawled back into her bed, the soft warmth of the liquor calming the storm of thoughts raging in her brain. I need to find out how to get this thing out of me she thought. I need to do this myself, but I can’t do this entirely on my own. And if you needed some knowledge in Ponyville, there was generally only one logical place to go. Tomorrow, she would need to visit the library, and somehow, work up the courage to ask the assistance of it librarian, her friend, Twilight Sparkle.

Even with the combined relief of the apple liquor and having a plan to deal with her problem, sleep would not come. Her tailhole still felt strangely warm and throbbing. And even if she tried to ignore it, the warmth slowly crept up towards her marehood as she lay there staring at the dark ceiling. Or to be really honest, it had never really gone away since the episode in the barn earlier this evening. Despite the shame, shock, and several buckets of ice cold water of earlier the strange feeling wouldn’t stop. Had she really become sexually aroused there in the barn? By lying in the dirt, with a big wooden tormenting her bum and oil drenching her nethers? Suddenly, Applejack felt like a very dirty pony. Why would her body react in that way? Truth to be told, Applejack wasn’t very sure. While she technically knew about mares, stallions and foals from the compulsory sex education in school, this was an area where she felt very lost. She knew some mares liked to touch themselves, but that wasn’t the Apple family way. Or at least, that’s what granny Smith had told her that shame-filled “talk” they had all those years ago after she caught her “exploring” that day on the hayloft. After that there had been months of “hooves above the sheets” and “Apple family morals”. Applejack had simply accepted that touching yourself was something reserved for vapid big-city mares and harlots.

But lying here in her dark room Applejack began to wonder if she really was a proper Apple mare. Would an Apple mare have to wash her marehood with cold water to get the smell out before she had dinner with her family? After having a big wooden apple shoved up her behind? Would an Apple mare lay in bed with a hoof resting on her nethers? Applejack didn’t know how it had ended up there, resting between her slightly parted legs. She could feel the heat and moisture coming off her sex. And resigning herself as a hopelessly dirty and worthless pony, she gave her longing marehood a tentative rub. The orange mare didn’t really know what she had expected, but the result was rather disappointing. The only thing that happened was a small shiver that went through her body, and the distinctive feeling that she ought to do that again. So she complied.

After a few strokes, a sharp intake of breath was heard as she accidentally brushed against one of her nipples. Her small teats were hard and her nipples pointed towards the ceiling, despite the room being quite warm. She let the hoof leave her marehood and slowly circle one of her teats and tease her nipple. A shudder once again rocked her body. As she pulled the hoof away to return to her yearning marehood a small strand of something connected her nipple and her hoof. Bringing her hoof closer to her face she studied the wet patch in the fur, where it had rubbed against her nethers. Slowly bringing it towards her snout she took a probing whiff at her own juices. The smell was musky, hinting of apples and earth, although the scent also vaguely reminded her of clouds. And not being a proper Apple mare anymore, Applejack brought her tongue out licked her own juices. Bringing her other hoof to bear between her legs she rubbed faster and faster all while cleaning her first one with her tongue.

However, there was something that was missing. The orange mare could remember the feeling she had begun to feel earlier that day, the feeling of muscles beginning to contract deep inside her. This time however, the feeling eluded her, and rubbing her marehood only seemed to aggravate the need further. Trying to remember what had led her to the brink the last time, the stretching pain from her tailhole stood out in her mind, with both fear and enticement. With one hoof still working, her gaze fell upon one of the bedposts. The top was a rounded and smooth ball, and while not quite as thick as the apple lodged in her behind, it came close. Standing up, Applejack moved closer to the bedpost. Remembering the lessons from this afternoon, she brought a dripping hoof to bear and covered the round piece of wood in her own juices.

Positioning herself over the bedpost Applejack felt a rush of excitement as the curved wood came into contact with her ass. Bracing herself with a hoof against the wall, the other working on her marehood she slowly began lowering herself onto the bedpost. It was however, much harder than she anticipated. She began feeling her tight pucker strain to it’s limits, and a sudden twitch from her leg made her move and sending a moan from her mouth, if it was from pain or pleasure she could not tell. But finally she was feeling her marehood beginning to contract itself as in anticipation. Clenching her teeth together, Applejack made a few last rubs on her nethers before resolutely pushing herself down onto the wooden ball.

A suppressed moan made it’s way out between her clenched teeth. Pain shot from her asshole as she forced herself onto the much too big top of the bedpost, but as the post thinned again it settled into her ass. Applejack could feel both wooden objects pushing against her marehood from the inside, and suddenly she felt her legs go weak and both her holes began to rhythmically clench. Small moans and gasps made it out between her teeth and her hoof made an almost involuntarily grind against her front hole every time a spasm hit her. A small trickle of fluid slowly made it’s way down her hind legs. Slowly regaining her compulsure, Applejack once again braced to extract herself from the bedpost. As she wrought the top of the bedpost from her abused pucker with a pained grunt Applejack was hit by the second orgasm her life. This time her legs gave out from under her and she lay on the floor, panting, as her marehood spasmed and released a small trickle of juices that pooled around her flank.

It was also there on the floor, that Applejack finally found the sleep she had been looking for.

Author's Note

Next up, a visit to Ponyville library. Can Twilight help her friend deal with her problem? Stay tuned!

Keep it cool

Applejack wasn't particularly enjoying herself the next morning. Several factors contributed to that, of which the bright sunbeam that found it’s way from her window towards her face was the first one she noticed. After a few moments she also became aware of a grinding headache, full bladder and a parched throat. Furthermore, her bed seemed to have become very hard suddenly, not at all the comfortable linen sheets it usually consisted of. But the most annoying thing of them all was some kind of insisting noise. It moved around her, seemed to grow more and more demanding as she tried to ignore it and return to the blissful sleep she so much desired. Squinting her eyes open the source of the noise seemed to be some kind of bouncing yellow object, circling her and calling something. She grumbled towards the yellow menance and was rewarded with a headbutt in the ribs and an even louder yelling.

“Applejack! Wake up!” her sister was calling her.

“Wha?..” Applejack rubbed some of the sleep from her eyes.

“Hey sis! It’s breakfast and you overslept, You never oversleep it’s always I that oversleep but now you overslept and I got to wake you!”. The younger filly seemed to take immense pleasure in this fact.

Applejack was just about to say something but was interrupted as the air was knocked out of her lungs as Applebloom landed on top of her.

“Why are ya sleeping on the floor sis? It smells funny in here too, why does it smell funny? Ah think it’s you who smell” and with that Applebloom put her nose into the fur of her older sister and inhaled. “Haha, you smell like Babs did after we had that Cutie Mark Crusaders tickling contest.”

Wrinkling her nose, she continued.

“But your breath smells like like uncle ‘shine after Hearths warmin’ eve”. The younger filly giggled again. “Well grandma’ said ponies who sleep late get to make their own breakfast” “And she said Ah could go crusadin’ with Sweetie and Scootaloo after Ah woke you up and now you are awake so Ah gonna go now”. And with those words Applebloom left her much confused sister sitting on the floor of small bedroom.

Applejack managed to avoid remembering anything for at least several minutes after being so rudely awaken. It wasn't until she stood up, and by chance put her eyes on the still faintly glistening bedpost that all came rushing back to her. The apple, now unmistakably present in her rear, the encounter with her brother, the hard liquor on an empty stomach, and - with a rising redness on her cheeks - the things that transpired afterwards. Applejack was mortified, what had taken hold of her? How could she do things like that, and in the same house as her family slept on top of that. She couldn't really remember how loud she had been, had Applebloom heard her? O celestia Applebloom! Looking at her fur and her the unmistakable smell of her own fluids that had dried up in there. Suddenly Applejack desperately needed a bath, and a cold one at that. She threw open her door, and ran towards the outside. Leaving hardly enough time to close the door behind her, she galloped towards over the fields towards the small stream winding through the outskirts of Sweet Apple Acres.

On the outskirts of Sweet Apple Acres lay a small quiet glade. A small stream fed an even smaller pool of water. While tiny, the pool was deep, clear and cold, surrounded by reeds growing on the banks and dragonflies hunting in the air above it. All in all, it was a pure image of serenity. That was, however, immediately shattered when the brushes parted by an orange mare recklessly galloping through the thick underbrush and, with a mighty splash, dove headfirst into the small body of water. A pair of small birds who made their nest on the bank quickly decided they would retreat into the safety of the air, their annoyed shattering having no effect on the rude imposter who surfaced with a gasp.

After floating for a few minutes in the pool, Applejack’s head slowly began to clear. And with that, she began to ponder the events of last night. What on Celestia’s green earth had flown into her head? Abandoning all the morals her granny had taught her? Not only had she touched herself and wantonly tasted her own fluids, she had even further tormented her already abused tailhole. Applejack wondered for a moment if she had been under the spell of some malicious unicorn, putting all those evil thought into the minds of honest ponies.

“But you liked it” a small voice said in the back of her head.

Applejack couldn't deny that. She couldn't ignore the memory how good her hoof felt desperately grinding into her nethers. She couldn't forget the wonderfully dirty feeling of her juices coating her hoof and her tongue reaching out for them. And most of all, she couldn't forget the delectable feeling of the big wooden post slowly pushing it’s way into her behind, straining, demanding and painful.

“Gahh!” Applejack called out in frustration and once again dove beneath the surface to let the cold water clear the blush rising on her face.

When she surfaced again she felt a little better at least. That would have to stop now, she would get this thing out of her and that would be the end of that. No more deviant behavior.

“But you aren't the only who likes to pleasure yourself” the voice insisted. “Your friends are awfully lacking in morals it would seem”.

Applejack couldn't deny that either as she gently floated in the water. During the latest one of their regular sleepovers, they had come upon the subject. Of course, there had been much giggles and euphemisms, but from what Applejack could remember, all of her friends - except for Fluttershy - had in some way or the other admitted to pleasuring themselves. Even the ever elegant Rarity had been surprisingly frank and spoken about how a lady need to know her body so she can better please other in the bedroom. Twilight had been all bookish and talked about the health benefits and techniques but when asked directly by a smirking Rainbow Dash she had blushed furiously and nodded. Nobody had really bothered Fluttershy, but the small smile Applejack spied on her face during the conversation said more than needed.

And Rainbow Dash. She had been her usual loudmouth boastful self. Laughing, smirking and coming with snide remarks, a lot of them aimed at Applejack herself for her vehement denial of ever touching herself in any lascivious manner. Rainbow Dash had only laughed and winked with a grin that expressed her disbelief at Applejack's choking denial. She had then walked up on Applejack and with a sultry voice offered to “teach her a thing or two someday”, a comment which left poor Applejack gaping and blushing before Rainbow guffawed and punched her shoulder.

Applejack’s still could feel her anger boiling about how easy her cyan friend made her the butt of her jokes. She wished that sometime she would just have the guts to call her out on her provocations. That ought to show her. Catching her unawares when she was as unprepared as Applejack often was. She imagined the pegasus resting on one of the branches of her vast orchard, napping away her day. And Applejack striding up demanding to have that lesson she offered last weekend. That would surely leave her stammering and blushing. Or would she just smile that annoying grin of hers, few quick strokes of her wings placing her on the ground. She would walk up to poor Applejack and whisper “Oh, I expected you would like a piece of the Dash”. Applejack would stand frozen while Rainbow slowly circled her dragging one of those meticulously preened wings along her back, sending a shiver from her spine to her marehood. Always bold, Rainbow would wrap in in a strong feathery appendage, seductively nibbling an ear before a quick shove would put her on the ground. Rainbow would immediately be over her, holding her gaze while an errant hoof trailing her sides before it slowly made it’s way towards her yearning marehood. With confident motions she would begin to massage Applejacks sopping nethers. When the orange mare would begin to whine in pleasure she would lean into her ear and whisper,

“HEY APPLEJACK, YOU DEAF!?” the loud noise almost gave Applejack a heart attack, as she scrambled to remove the hoof who somehow had found it’s way in between her legs under the surface of the small pool.

“Got your attention now, you daydreaming and bathing on the same time?”

The apple farmer turned her head and found to her horror that a certain pegasus stood on the bank looking straight at her. Applejack felt her face turning as red as her brother. How much did she see? She just stood there looking at her, how long had it been? Was this another elaborate joke at her expense? She needed to say something, quick.

“Gruhh..” she managed.

It was a start at least.

“Wha… What are ya doing here?” she continued.

Better this time.

“I came to say I was sorry about scaring you yesterday”, Rainbow Dash actually looked a little remorseful. “I tried to warn you from afar this time, but you didn't seem to notice anything outside that head of yours”

Applejack still didn't really know what to say, the image of Rainbow Dash holding her in a powerful wing and grinding away at her marehood still lingered in her mind.

“Why are you blushing AJ? Nice dreams all alone out here?”

Now that stupid grin was back.

“That’s none of your goddamned business.” Applejack bit back with a sternness in her voice that surprised even her. It seemed to surprise Dash just as much because it wiped that smug look of her face.

“Well jeez, I was only joking with you” Dash said, as the orange mare made her way out of the small body of water. “Anyway, I came to pay you for your apple”

“That’s good, you can put it on that rock over there, Ah have to dry off and get back to mah chores” she said as nonchalantly as she could.

Casual and stern, that’s how you have to deal with her.

“Sure, I’m no moocher you know” Rainbows face had a strange expression Applejack hadn’t seen before. Her eyes rested on her as she shook the water out of her long blonde tail and mane, and tied the red bands holding them in place. For some reason it made Applejack slightly uncomfortable.

No, stay cool Applejack, that’s how you deal with her.

“Well I’m off for weather duties now” the cyan pegasus said as she spread her wings. And just before she took flight she added “By the way Applejack, you look really cute in a wet mane”

Now the grin was back an Applejack was once again reduced to a blushing fool who stammering tried to say something as her friend took to the skies and disappeared.

Author's Note

Sorry guys (and girls) Twilight has to wait, the adventures at the pool was longer than expected. Also a little light on the clop. I will strive to correct these defects in my next chapter.