I wanna bust a nut on big-ass butts, n' I cannot lie.
Celestia sat in her study, her reading glasses elegantly placed on the bridge of her snout. She was reading the paper by candlelight, as she had just awoken from a short slumber, and was waiting for her sister to come down from her moon duties, and allow her to cast glorious sunlight upon the inhabitants of Equestria.
Celestia wafted the incense beside her, savoring the sweet smell of cinnamon as it lazily spread through the room. The open shutters behind her sending an elegant breeze through the room, caressing her gently with the chill of the nightly winds.
The princess loves mornings like this: chilly enough for her to sit in her soft, pink robe, the ticking of the large grandfather clock accompanying her as she enjoyed the near silence of her surroundings. It was really the only time she had to bask in true serenity, as she was usually busy with the sun, or political duties.
She sipped her five-hour energy, thanking it for the hours of energy it would provide now, with no crash later, as the fruitful flavor of the small beverage massaged her taste buds. Glancing at her clock, Celestia noted that it was five in the morning. Very soon her sister would arrive to bestow upon her the responsibility of casting life-giving solar energy upon her loyal subjects.
Almost as if on cue, a blue ball of fire came hurtling through the window of Celestia's study, bouncing all over the room as it cracked the floors, walls, and ceilings of the small, once peaceful room. Celestia could feel the heat from the blindingly blazing ball, though she did not care. No, she merely continued to read the paper, sipping her energy drink as she waited for the pyro-ball to come to a screeching halt.
Indeed the ball did stop, though it still smoldered in the large crater it had created. Celestia simply giggled softly.
"For goodness' sake Luna, you simply must learn to stick the landing," Celestia said playfully to her blazing sister.
Luna rolled around on the floor for a bit, smothering the flames while simultaneously charring her beautiful coat and mane.
"Well dear sister, we'd certainly love to know how thou does it perfectly each time. Landing softly while hurtling through the atmosphere is certainly no easy task."
Celestia giggled once more,"now Luna, I'm sorry to say this, but the secret to my soft landing lies in my, assets." she said with a cheeky grin as she darted her eyes towards her luscious derriere.
Luna blushed slightly, trying her best not to look at her sister's magnificent behind. No matter how voluptuous it may have been.
"Well, yes... may thine ass shine brightly as always dear sister," Luna said as she edged out the door.
Celestia smiled, it was always fun to mess with her sister. A thousand years of isolation had left her as a total prude, no longer comfortable with the new, sexually ambiguous Equestria. She did try, on occasion, to lecture her sister in the ways of modern times, but that was a change that would have to happen slowly. Besides, no harm in a little bit of fun, especially considering how mundane her day to day life usually was.
Speaking of, it was time for her to do her duties, and cast her marvelous glow upon her people.
Celestia unfolded her wings, flapping them once with unreal amounts of force, launching herself high into the air at near the speed of sound. As she ascended, she folded her wings, taking the form of a jet, and her cutie mark began to glow, enveloping her in glorious light. The closer she got to the cold embrace of space, the brighter her cutie marks shone, combating the rapidly decreasing temperature with ease.
The magical glow engulfed her as she burst forth from the atmosphere, a bright-orange mach-cone leaving in her wake. Now was the time. Celestia Rocketed forward, her blazing cutie marks now creating thrust as she rocketed away from the planet at the speed of light.
The vacuum of space was no concern to this flame-shrouded goddess, as she hurtled through space, slowing time to a halt in her relative area.For eight minutes Celestia whizzed through the cold void, leaving a trail of quickly dissolving flames behind her.
Celestia stopped suddenly, having reached her destination.
She once again unfurled her immaculate plumage, her horn glowing as her ass cast a light brighter than any star in the Equestrian solar system. She turned, grinning at the sight of her light being reflected off the surface of Equestria, the heat of her incredible butt warming her beloved citizens as always.
Unfortunately for Equestria, their marvelous-assed princess had eaten a bean burrito for breakfast, and she inevitably farted.
Twilight Sparkle woke up, yawning and stretching as her back cracked from the awkward position she had slept in. It wasn't necessary for her to be awake, it was only around six o' clock, and the library opened at nine.
This, however, was of no concern to the newly crowned alicorn princess. She was set on something different.
Twilight trotted out of the bedroom, put on her light-lavender bathrobe that was hanging on the door, cantered down the stairs, and out of the treebrary.
It was very nearly time for her favorite part of the day, so she craned her neck and peered at the night sky. Sure enough, she could see the faint flaming trail of her beloved teacher as she rocketed into space.
After a short while, the sky began to lighten up as Celestia's ass began to shine more and more.
Twilight gazed at her teacher's incredible rear as it Illuminated the entire countryside.
Someday that's going to be me up there,Twilight thought to herself,"someday I'm going to set my own ass ablaze for the survival of ponykind.
Unfortunately for Twilight, Celestia farted, causing a solar flare that burned her, along with the rest of Equestria to death. Nobody survived, and Celestia killed herself out of shame.
And they all lived happily ever after.
The End.
Author's Note
Yes, I am taking the term "Sun-butt" too literally.
