Matters of Principle

by Bookish Delight

Rating: everyone
Tags: Equestria Girls, Principal Celestia, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life
Length: 2355

If there are three things Principal Celestia can't stand, it's paperwork, princesses and her past. Unfortunately, the first makes up her job... and she desperately needs the second to help her resolve the last.

If there are three things Principal Celestia can't stand, it's paperwork, princesses and her past. Unfortunately, the first makes up her job... and she desperately needs the second to help her resolve the last.

Published 2013-09-05 23:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-09-05 23:00:02 UTC

Matters of Principle

"What do you mean you can't come out here until next month? I've shown you pictures, you've already sent one of your workers to inspect the damage…"

Celestia waited for the man — ugh, it was always a man — on the other end of the line to finish giving her the usual cliched excuses. Tight schedule. Waiting for enough manpower. Having to repair some of the utility work.

Budget cuts. It was always the budget cuts that were her worst enemy.

Celestia took it back. Having a woman on the line wouldn't have made it any better. When it came down to it, nearly all humans lacked the same basic ability to comprehend simple facts, much like the one she was about to reiterate:

"No, I don't think you understand. My school. Has a giant. Gaping. Hole in it. The same one that's about to be in your head if you don't-"

More words. Celestia's teeth gritted.

"...How much extra? ...Yeah? Well, same to you! Tell your brother I said you both live up to your names! Flim-flams, indeed!"

Celestia slammed the phone onto its receiver. Hard. Anger flowed through her, hot as the sun she'd been named after.

Ugh, contractors. Ugh, estimates. Ugh, her hair after that call. Stress always had a way of making random parts of it stand on end.

She took her nearby comb and put it to work, the routine of the procedure and feel of the comb's teeth moving through her locks calming her down somewhat. The calming effect didn't last long, however, as she looked at the massive pile of papers on her desk.

Bills, all of them. Celestia had no idea there could be so many different kinds of bills on her desk at once. One bill for construction materials. Another for replacement glass and alloys to reconstruct the school's partially demolished interior. Yet another bill for school supplies. Another for new lights. Yet another for trophies to replace the ones which had been broken in the debacle from the other night. Not to mention the professional manpower required to put all the pieces back together...

She stopped short of looking at the rest of them, her mind wandering back to trying to figure out just which excuse she was going to use at the emergency school board meeting that night. 'Chem lab explosion' was still high on her list but that would surely cause other members to say it was her and Science Teacher Gearloose's fault for being negligent. Still, it was a better alibi than Pinkie Pie's suggestion of 'giant alligator attack.' As if anyone would buy that one in a million years.

A ring of the phone awoke her from her pondering trance. Breathing a silent word of thanks, she picked it up.

"Celestiaaaaaa!" said the shrill, hyperactive voice on the other end.

Celestia held the phone away from her ear, wondering if her thanks had been premature. "Cadance. Inside voice."

"Right, right, sorry." Cadance's voice lowered to normal decibel levels. "But the light show and explosion at your school! I totally heard about it! The news is reporting eyewitness accounts of a giant alligator attack." She paused, her next words laced with an air of pride. "But I know better. How many ponies?"

Celestia propped her chin in her free hand. "Technically? Two. Including the one who had already popped over here years ago. She finally decided to play her hand. Or hoof. Whatever."

"No." Cadance gasped. "Get out. She really did have evil plans?"

"Yep, Luna was spot on. I never can tell how she can see these things coming. But another pony came here to stop her. Guess who?"

"Mmmmmm…" Cadance's mock-thinking sounds were akin to a melody over the phone. "...nope. Can't do it. Tell me."

Celestia's eyes narrowed. "Twilight Sparkle."

For a long time, there was dead silence on the other end. Then a whisper. "Not-"

Celestia cut her off. "No."

Cadance let out a sharp exhale. "Then again, I guess if she saved the day..."

"Pretty much. All for the low, low price of a hole in my building that I can't get anyone to fix for two weeks." Celestia sighed. "Where did I go wrong, Cadance? This school I opened — it was supposed to work out better than this, wasn't it?"

Cadance paused again. "You know what I'm going to say."

Celestia groaned. "Could you please not?"

"I'm just saying! Time was when you weren't just a pencil pusher at the top of the pile! You were the world's greatest teacher. You used to reach so many more now than you do-"

"And I'm not going back to it."

"Why? Because you're still feeling sorry for yourself?"

Celestia stayed quiet as images ran through her mind — images of better times. Plane trips. Seminars. Hundreds upon hundreds of smiling students. One very special one among the bunch.

And then, a scream.

A violet lightning bolt jolted her back to reality.

Cadance's voice faded back in.

"-and I supported you because neither I nor Luna could snap you out of your funk. But maybe now that you've gotten us all caught up in this whole pony thing, you could start taking up some responsibility again?" Cadance's voice went soft. "We need the old Celestia back, hon. The world does."

At those words, her desk mirror hummed and glowed. Celestia shook her head.

"No, Cadance. I can't. Besides, there's about to be someone who's going to take responsibility. Or should I say, somepony."

It was Cadance's turn to sigh. "It's the Special Phone again, isn't it?"

A small grin spread across the principal's face. "Maybe."

"Celestia, do me a favor?"

Celestia didn't reply.

"Try not to enjoy the catharsis too much?"

"Sorry, can't hear you. Engaging wrath mode."

"Cele-"

The phone was lowered with a resounding click.

The mirror always had a flair for the dramatic. First it would hum, then glow, then the hum would reach a crescendo, which Celestia knew was the signal for her to close her eyes before the white flash — a staple of magic, she'd learned — blinded her.

When she reopened her eyes, she was staring at herself… if a magical talking horse with wings who had almost the same hair as her counted as "herself."

Principal and Princess met eyes. The former crossed her arms with a stern frown. The latter simply blinked, then lidded her eyes in resignation.

Both knew what was coming.

"Matters of Principle"
A My Little Pony: Equestria Girls Fanfiction
by Bookish Delight, 2012-2013

All characters and referred properties belong to Hasbro.

"Princess Celestia," said her human counterpart.

Princess Celestia nodded. "Principal."

The principal's frown did not leave. "Could you answer something for me?"

Very few ponies — let alone people — ever lived to see the Crown Princess of Equestria this nervous. "I will do my best."

"Why is it whenever I see your face, something terrible happens to my school?" Principal Celestia picked up her two-way dimensional communication mirror, went to the window, and pointed it towards her view of Canterlot High School's wrecked wall. Sunset Shimmer, Snips, Snails and a few other students could be seen laying new bricks. She then turned the mirror back to herself. "Really, what did I do to deserve this?"

Princess Celestia closed her eyes and shook her head. "I understand that the actions of my little ponies have caused undue trouble for your world. For that please accept my sincerest apologies-"

"Save the diplomacy. It's always the same old lines. Just get to what you really called to ask me. Because it's always to ask me something. I never would have imagined that such a magically powerful princess would ask a powerless human for so many favors."

"You are not powerless, Celestia. I know that myself, no matter what you might believe."

Principal Celestia managed to maintain her scowl for ten more silent seconds. Then her face softened.

"Yes I am. Because I can never stay mad at you for long. As much as I'd love to. Seriously, sis, ask what you're going to ask. Not that I don't know already."

Princess Celestia nodded, her eyes and muzzle solemn and apprehensive. "How... how is she?"

Principal Celestia looked back out to Sunset Shimmer, who had leaned against the wall to catch her breath, and sighed. "Well, I'm not going to expel her, if that's what you're afraid of. Or report her, or anything. She's still here, repaying her debt to school society. I don't know what about that rainbow your princess-in-training blasted her with caused her to come around, but I'm glad it did. She's got an uphill battle ahead, though... with the students, and herself."

"And they won't be her last," said Princess Celestia. "You can count on that."

"I know. But…" The principal paused. "...do you really think she can help us? I-I mean, help me?"

"Your world, yes. Whether she can also help you is up to you alone. It always has been. But I do not choose my students lightly, and you've now seen what just one Element of Harmony can do. Your world has its own, and now that Sunset Shimmer has been set back on the correct path, she will be the key to finding them... if you allow her to be."

Principal Celestia sighed again and paced around her office. "Well, I guess you've been right so far. Still, do you have any idea what it was like to stand around your Twilight and act like I barely knew how to run this place? Or to watch for years as your ex-student made a mockery of my student body, driving wedges between friendships left and right, and never say a word? I mean, come on. I'm sure where you come from, multi-year master plans are all the rage, but here people ask questions. A lot. Doesn't help that I'm not the god-queen of my world or anything."

Princess Celestia nodded and chuckled. "I wouldn't go so far as to use that terminology. But from what you've told me, you used to hold quite a bit of sway in your world as well."

Principal Celestia's left eye ticked. "I also told you that that was years ago."

"And you also told me that you ran from it. As well as why."

"Are you sure I'm not talking to Cadance in disguise right now?" the principal snapped.

Princess Celestia mirrored her human counterpart's eyetick. "I only brought it up to remind you how much I sympathize — but for now, yes, as it appears the matter is still highly sensitive I will drop it."

The principal sighed, and sat back at her desk. "Thank you."

Princess Celestia smiled. "Think nothing of it — for now. But one day, it will be something you will have to face. Anyway, my only request is that you look after Sunset. For her sake and yours, feel free to be proactive in both her and your school's development from this moment forward. And 'sister'?"

"Yes?"

Princess Celestia took a deep breath. Her horn glowed, and then the mirror did the same, shining with an intensity matched only by that fateful night years ago when the two had made first contact. The glow expanded, trailing from the mirror, swirling and wrapping itself around the principal in a soft, embracing warmth.

With Principal Celestia sitting down, the positioning was perfect, and that same embracing warmth soon belonged to a translucent apparition of the pony she had been talking to for the last fifteen minutes, forelegs wrapped tightly around her shoulders. Principal Celestia returned the gesture, the two closing eyes as they leaned against each other.

She'd never have publicly admitted to enjoying doing so, of course. This was all in the name of diplomacy. Still, in her heart of hearts... well, pony princesses were cuddly things. Cuddly, safe things. It was a shame this couldn't happen more often. Not to mention she'd always been jealous of that hair — no, mane? — sparkling in the daylight without ever needing tacky glitter. It was always a pleasure to see it up close.

Princess Celestia pulled back, her hooves still resting on the principal's shoulders, allowing them to meet eyes and exchange smiles.

"Thank you," she said. "For everything. I promise you that in the end, this will all be worth it, for both our worlds. Equestria has its protectors now, but your world will need its own to face the challenges ahead. Sunset Shimmer and the girls Twilight connected with will become your greatest assets. Watch those six especially closely."

"I will." Principal Celestia nodded. "But you'd better be right."

The princess winked. "Have I ever been wrong so far?"

Principal Celestia chuckled and rolled her eyes. "Only about the part where my school would still be standing by the end of all of this."

The pony on the other end chuckled as well. "I truly am sorry about that. Were the true portal still open, I'd send a trio of ponies to fix that in an hour's time." She paused, looking over to her side. "The hour grows late. Farewell, Principal. I will contact you during the next moon."

"Of course. So long, and don't be a stranger."

The mirror's light faded, as did Princess Celestia. Principal Celestia looked back out at Sunset Shimmer, who had been joined by Pinkie Pie in laying bricks. A wave of relief washed over her. Perhaps there was hope after all.

She turned her head to an angle, and looked upward. A black and gray skyscraper towered to overwhelming degrees over the rest of Equestrian City.

Her relief left her. Her heart quickened.

You'd better be right, Princess.

Celestia took a handkerchief from her desk, wiping her eyes before tears could escape, and looked higher.

I've only let you go this far because you succeeded where I failed.

A logo of a violet star adorned the skyscraper's summit.

Meaning we're going to need all of the help we can get.

Author's Note