Chapters Castlemania: Aria of Pinkie
A Disappointing Adventure
Various growls and shrieks emanated from the thick underbrush of the forest. Pinkie Pie laughed at the fact that the woods used to incite so much fear. Ever since she'd stumbled upon the castle, Everfree Forest turned into Everfree snore-fest. Blissfully immune to the foreboding atmosphere, she hummed happily as she traipsed through the darkly lit path. What kind of powers would she find today? What kind of baddies lurked in the shadows? The anticipation was killing her.
Understandably, the entrance to the cryptic castle was hidden deep within the murk of the forest, well past Zecora's hut. Only a desiccated wooden door under a stone outcropping separated the familiar world she knew from the fantastical one of ghosts and ghouls. All manner of scary monsters and legendary creatures inhabited the castle. Why? She didn't know. It didn't really matter. All she cared about was that sometimes when she kicked the monsters' butts, they gave her awesome powers. Powers that made her feel mightier than Iron Will. Powers that helped her float in the air when she happily bounced along. Powers that were rip-offs, because they didn't do anything. Those particular varieties were lame.
True indeed, her powers rendered the forest fauna harmless. However, she made extra sure not to accidentally wander through any patches of Poison Joke flowers. They were still hazardous - at least until she found a power that made her immune to their intoxicating effects. It wasn't difficult to navigate away from the maliciously beautiful flowers.
Now with any potential peril behind her, Pinkie was free to drop her guard and set the pace at full speed ahead. Her stream of consciousness quickly began to corkscrew. Gosh, today sure is pretty! My powers make me feel funny. Did I leave the oven on at the Cake's? Should I be in school? That stick sure is interesting. Oh look there's Fluttershy. I should make a bunch of copy-Pinkies again. Wait a minute, Fluttershy!?
Sure enough, Fluttershy sat just off the path, probing a nearby bush for ripe berries.
“Fluttershy!” Pinkie hollered.
The poor pegasus yelped and whipped around, eyes wide with terror.
“It's just me, silly! Don't be so scared!” laughed Pinkie.
Fluttershy sighed in relief. She slowly took control of her rapid heartbeat and sat back down.
Slightly insulted, Pinkie found nothing out of order with her verbal conduct. She shrugged. “I'm sorry, Fluttershy. I was just happy to see you. What are you doing out here all by yourself anyway?”
“Well,” Fluttershy explained, “Angel picked today to be an exceptionally picky eater. He keeps swatting away everything I offer him. I'm running out of china.”
“Ooooh! So, you came all the way out here just to pick berries?”
Fluttershy sighed again, this time with tedium. “Yes. Angel showed me a picture of what he wants in my cookbook, and it said the berries only grow way out here.”
“Hmm...” Pinkie put a hoof to her chin, deep in thought. “Hey! I know! Why don't you come with me! I'm going to a super cool place I found that has lots of rare food in it!”
Fluttershy seemed to perk up a bit. “Really? Where?”
“It's just a little bit farther down the path! It's a huuuuge old castle! I found it a few days ago. There's lots of secret passageways and pretty sculptures and all sorts of stuff!”
“Oh, that sounds dangerous,” said Fluttershy, deflating again.
“Well, there are a lot of big mean monsters inside, but that's okay because I have my powers to protect us.”
None of Pinkie's words reassured her. Half of them didn't make any sense. “W-what? Powers?”
Pinkie nodded quickly. Her vigor was admirable. “Yeah! Sometimes when I beat a bad guy, a funny glowy orb comes out and I absorb it! Some of them are red, and blue, and yellow. They give me powers!”
Fluttershy shook her head a little. “Pinkie, did you wander into some Poison Joke?”
Pinkie laughed. “No, of course not. Don't be ridiculous. I wouldn't fall for that a fourth time. Come on. Just come with me. I wanna show you the castle. Besides, there is really really rare food in there!”
“Oh, Celestia...” Throwing the slightest iota of logic out the window, Fluttershy hesitantly agreed to follow her eccentric friend. They trotted along uninterrupted for about half a mile. Pinkie bounced and hummed upbeat melodies while Fluttershy cringed fearfully at every unseen stimulus. At long last, the two arrived at the door. Or rather, at some planks of wood bound by a tight vine.
“I don't like this,” voiced Fluttershy quietly.
Pinkie motioned with her hoof that it was no big deal. “Come ooooon. Where's your sense of adventure?”
“I... I don't...”
“I'll protect us. It'll be fine. Here, I'll even go first!” offered the boisterous Pinkie.
How kind of you, thought Fluttershy.
The area certainly didn't look like a castle. There was nothing above the randomly placed door except a steep rocky incline with more thick brush. It looked like typical forest topography. Yet, through the raggedy door lay quite an intriguing tunnel. Its walls were a light colored stone coated with a layer of glistening moss. The dull roar of waterfalls echoed faintly in the distance.
“I thought you said this was a castle,” said Fluttershy incredulously.
“It is! Well, the upper part is. I guess this used to be a gigantic cellar or something. Somepony must have seriously missed their Spring cleaning.”
The companions pressed on through the slippery tunnel until they emerged into a vast, luminous cavern. After another few minutes of silently observing the geology, Pinkie Pie looked like she was about to explode. “Do you wanna see my powers now? Huh? Huh? HUH?”
Fluttershy still failed to comprehend what her friend was talking about. “Um, sure. Okay Pinkie.”
“Great! Alright! Let's see, which one to show you first...Ooh! I know!”
The pink pony's eyes flashed a deep scarlet, and the ground under their feet began to quake with a sizable magnitude.
“What's going on?” cried Fluttershy in dismay.
Pinkie produced some kind of ancient book and scanned the pages. “This one is my favorite! It's called uh... Bone Ark!”
The rock floor of the cavern cracked and continued to split violently until a wide fissure streaked the ground. The ponies heard scraping noises originating from within the pit. Peering inside, they were greeted by two skeleton ponies, animated by an ancient magic. The skeletons huffed and puffed as they clawed their way up the rock face. As the first one reached the precipice and climbed out, he extended a bony hoof to assist his comrade. Skeleton Two had a great deal more difficulty escaping the hole. The feeble underlings made quite a show of the whole process. Their emphasis soon proved necessary, as it appeared they were tugging up an object. After an excessive amount of time, they somehow managed to surface their cargo - a beautiful double-seated chariot composed of pearly white bone. Its ornate designs looked meticulously hoof carved.
A terrified Fluttershy cowered behind a rock. She didn't care how hard those skeletons had to work to bring that thing up. They were skeletons . Monsters. Monsters she could deal without.
The dead servants hefted the chariot up to their shoulders. Pinkie sprang into the air with glee and landed right in place on the first seat. “Come on, slowpoke! Get a move on!” she cajoled.
“Is it safe? I - I'm really not comfortable with this,” squeaked Fluttershy.
“Of course it's safe!” retorted Pinkie. “I'll tell them to move slowly. Now get up here! It's relaxing!”
Fluttershy cautiously crept out from her hiding place. She gazed at the patient monsters, then up at Pinkie. She wondered if her friend's every decision was stalked by insanity. It was likely. She finally crawled up onto the chariot and whimpered with discontent as she took her place behind Pinkie.
“That's the spirit! Now we can ride in style! Let's go, boys!” shouted Pinkie in elation.
The pawns marched. They carried a perfect rhythm as they transported their living cargo through the disused cistern. Pinkie pondered on which wing of the castle she should show Fluttershy first. There were so many! There was the fighting arena with lots of strong bad guys, the top floor with the fancy statues and the throne room, and even that really funny place where everything was gray and time didn't work right. So many places...
“I got it!” screamed Pinkie.
Fluttershy jumped and nearly fell off the chariot. “W-what?”
“I know where we should go first! Jean Pierre, Federico, take us to the Dance Hall!”
“They have names now?” Fluttershy groaned.
The skeletons obeyed Pinkie's command and adjusted course.
“So, wanna see more of my powers?” pushed Pinkie.
“Um, I'm good, thanks,” said Fluttershy.
“Nonsense. Watch this one!” She reared her hoof up, then flung it forward like she was pitching a ball. “Hiyah!” Instantly the spot where she'd pointed erupted in flame, sending a swirling crimson pillar high into the air. The fire blazed in a straight line, sending a solid wall of flames in the direction of Pinkie's pointing. It finally snuffed out after reaching a mossy wall. “I got that from a... Biphron!” said Pinkie, looking at her book again. “Basically he was a really super creepy old hooded pony that just paced back and forth with a lantern. He tried to throw fireballs at me and it was a really close call, but I defeated him and the glowy orb came out and now I can use fire!”
Fluttershy was regretting her decision to follow Pinkie more and more with every passing second. “That's great, really. But listen, Pinkie? I-I think I'd really like to go home now. I've seen enough.”
Her friend turned to look at her with the most disheartened frown she'd ever seen. “Awwww! Are you sure...? What about the rare food?”
“No, really, it's okay...” conceded Fluttershy. “I'd really rather just go home. If that's okay with you.”
Pinkie sighed dramatically and slumped down in her seat. “Fiiiiiine. If you insist. Jeez Fluttershy, you can be a real party pooper sometimes. I really wanted to show you the Dance Hall.”
“S-sorry...” whispered the pegasus.
“Oh, I suppose it's okay,” consoled Pinkie. “I just wanted you to see how super awesome-tacular this place and my powers are. Oh well. You can always come back tomorrow.”
“Yes, so, can we go home now? Please?”
“Yep!” she shouted. “Jean Pierre, Federico, chop chop! Let's get Fluttershy home. We'll have to continue the adventure tomorrow.”
Castlemania: Aria of Pinkie
The small wooden room's only attraction was an enormous mirror that took up nearly the entire wall. The thing inside the mirror was unnerving. It had thin spindly limbs and wore blood-red clothing reminiscent of an old court jester. Its face was shrouded by some sort of beaked masque from a time of antiquity.
Pinkie Pie sat and stared at the thing curiously. She blinked her eyes and swished her tail. The thing in the mirror just watched her. Passively observing this strange entity most likely wasn't going to reveal anything.
“What are you, mister?” demanded Pinkie.
The thing didn't move.
“Can you hear me in there? Hello!” shouted the inquisitive pony. She waved her hoof above her head. To her surprise, the thing waved back.
“Hey, you moved!”
No response. Pinkie scratched her head. So did the creature.
“Ooh...I get it! You're copying me!” She giggled and made a funny face. The thing didn't move. “Oh, that's right. You have a mask. Silly me. Hmm.” She thought to herself. “Do you like to dance? Here, watch me!”
Pinkie stood up and began a frenetic jig. It was quite a jovial scene. She sang a cheerful tune and danced sporadically, copied precisely by the thing in the mirror. It cackled in a raspy voice and followed the pony's lead.
“Now you're getting the hang of it!”
The two danced in unison for several minutes, Pinkie's enjoyment never dwindling. Only after a couple merry songs did she begin to run out of steam. She sat back down in front of the mirror and took a moment to catch her breath. The creature copied her deep breathing.
“Boy, you sure do have a lot of energy, Mr. Creepy Thing. Whew.” They both wiped the sweat from their brows. “Thanks for dancing with me though. That sure was fun!”
The thing didn't respond. Aside from Pinkie Pie's verbal input, the room was utterly silent.
“You don't like to talk a lot, do you? You'd get along real well with my friend Fluttershy! I'm still kinda peeved at her. She doesn't want to come back and explore the castle with me. Can you believe that? This place is awesome!”
The creature looked stoically at her. Before Pinkie could come up with another topic of conversation, the thing shifted his focus to the door. His white masque glinted behind the mirror.
“Is something there?” asked Pinkie.
The thing made a raspy noise of disgust and evaporated out of sight somewhere into the mirror. Not three seconds later, there was a loud rap at the door.
“Hello?” came a familiar voice. “Pinkie Pie? Are you in here?” The door swung inward, revealing a bewildered Twilight Sparkle.
“Twilight!” cried Pinkie excitedly. She stood up and lunged at the alicorn, bowling her over in a big bear hug.
“Oof...That's quite enough, Pinkie,” wheezed Twilight.
“Sorry Twilight. I didn't expect to see you here!” explained Pinkie. “What are you doing here? How did you find this place? Did you come to get rare food for Fluttershy?”
“Actually,” said Twilight, “it was Fluttershy who told me about this castle. She came to the library this morning and informed me about your little adventure yesterday. She also recalled that you have, erm, 'powers' now.”
Pinkie's smile widened. “Yeah yeah! I do! Wanna see some? They're super awesome!”
The princess extracted a quill and some parchment from her satchel. “Sure! In just a minute. I'd love to take some notes on them too, if you don't mind. For research purposes.”
“Okie dokie lokie!” affirmed Pinkie.
“But first I have a question,” said Twilight with a cocked brow. “Why were you sitting and staring at that mirror?”
Pinkie was overjoyed that she knew the answer to Twilight's question. “Oh! I was talking to Mr. Creepy Thing. Let's see if he'll come back and dance with us. He left just before you came in.”
“Mr. What?”
“Come over here!”
Twilight was beyond confused. This couldn't be good. She followed the Pinkie to the mirror. They sat and gazed intently at the polished glass. There wasn't anything looking back them, but something about Pinkie herself seemed slightly off. Was it just a trick of the mind, or were Pinkie's eyes tinged with red?
Pinkie groaned. “Lame. I guess he's not coming back. That really stinks.”
“Right... So anyway, show me some of your powers,” said Twilight with quill in hoof.
Pinkie turned to face her. “Great! Here we go!” She gathered energy and leaped up into the air – where she stayed. Her body hung suspended in place. “Look Twilight! I'm floating!”
“Oh my,” marveled Twiligh. She frantically scribbled on her parchment. “How are you doing that? I've never seen anything like it!”
Pinkie giggled and twirled about in the loft. She mimicked the pose of Rainbow Dash relaxing on a cloud. “Easy peasy. I got this power from a Medusa Head! I can't really fly, but it's fun to float! I can also walk on water and jump super high!”
“Jump super high...” repeated Twilight. “Okay got it. So, tell me-” She stopped mid sentence and dropped her quill. A large, menacing creature bobbed behind the mirror, copying Pinkie's movements. “Behind you! Look out!” she cried.
“Wha?” Pinkie swiveled around. “Oh, Mr. Creepy Thing! You're back! I want you to meet my friend Twilight! She's here to learn about my powers!”
The thing in the mirror stopped. It hovered silently, no longer emulating its target.
“Hey, why aren't you copying me anymore?” asked Pinkie in a slightly downtrodden voice. “You don't want to meet Twilight?”
It glared blankly through its masque. It reached a spidery arm behind its back and began to float forward towards the ponies.
“What's it doing...?” questioned Twilight.
“I don't know, its never done this before,” Pinkie said shakily.
The tall thing loomed at the surface of the mirror. It chortled quietly in a raspy voice and started to push its way through to the other side.
“M-Mr. Creepy Thing?”
The creature's red cloak flapped lightly as it fell out of the mirror. It drew a sinister looking dagger from behind its back and continued to advance. It was over halfway into reality. “Ehehehehe...” it sputtered.
“Pinkie Pie do something!” screamed Twilight.
“Ohmygosh ohmygosh ohmygosh! What do I do!?”
“Anything! Use your powers! I don't know if my magic will work!”
Pinkie stumbled backwards away from the approaching menace. She watched it lift the dagger above its head as it neared her. She then acted upon the first thought that came into her head. “Rock Armor! Kyah!” She lobbed a chunky boulder at the mirror. The glass shattered on impact. The creature let out a bloodcurdling scream as the fragments of its portal clattered to the ground. Without the mirror, the inter-dimensional being was a fish out of water. It glowed a blinding white before totally stiffening and dispersing into the air. Just as it had almost disappeared completely, a shining orb the color of a ruby emerged from its center. The ball of light zipped all around the room. It careened every which way for before finally zooming straight into Pinkie's chest.
“Sweet mother of Celestia,” breathed Twilight. Her mind struggled to process what it had just witnessed. “Pinkie Pie, what just happened?”
The earth pony frowned, then smiled again. “I guess Mr. Creepy Thing wasn't my friend after all. Sorry about that. But I got a new power!”
Twilight clumsily reached for her parchment. “You did? How?”
“Did you see that red glowy orb that flew around the room super fast?”
“Yes?”
“That was a new power! Lemme see what it is!” She produced her otherworldly bestiary and turned to the newest entry. “Paranoia: Gain the ability to enter mirrors. Well whaddya know about that?” She examined a sliver of glass on the floor. “What a jip. I can't try my new power on broken mirrors. I'll have to find another one.”
Twilight had heard enough. “Oh Celestia. Listen Pinkie, can we talk about these powers? I have a hunch that you might not know what you're getting yourself into with them.”
“Okay.”
“Can we maybe discuss this somewhere a little less dangerous?”
“Sure Twilight. Wanna go to the Floating Garden?”
Twilight smiled. “That sounds pleasant enough.”
Twilight scribbled away at her notes. Pinkie lay on the soft grass and swatted at a tendril of hanging ivy. A cool breeze wafted through the scattered collection of floating stone structures. The Garden was beautiful indeed. Its disjointed layout only added to its alluring mystique. No other place in the castle offered such an odd sense of serenity. Did this count as “in the castle?” Impossible to say. Somehow the castle's physics made less sense than its new pink explorer.
Pinkie Pie licked her teeth like they were bothering her. “What do you want to know about my powers now, Twilight?”
The princess looked up. “It's not so much what I want to know, rather that I think you should be careful. Do you know why you keep getting these powers?”
“Nope! It just happens sometimes when I kick a bad guy's flank! Like Mr. Mirror Meanie.”
Twilight frowned. “I see. Look, this castle obviously possesses immense power. I don't know how. I also don't know why I never knew about this place until this morning. Maybe Celestia wants to keep it a secret. What I'm trying to say is, please be careful. Whatever kind of magic this place has is bound to have an effect on you. Possibly multiple. That may not be such a good thing.”
Pinkie shrugged off her cautionary words. “You don't have to worry so much, silly. Nothing bad has happened so far. Besides nearly getting stabbed. Hehe... Sorry about that.”
“That's my point, Pinkie,” said Twilight firmly. “Both our lives were in peril not half an hour ago. That's why I want you to be as cautious as possible. Ideally it'd be nice if you stayed clear of this place altogether, but I can't force you to do that.”
Pinkie pulled her friend into a hug and laughed. “Oh Twilight, you are such a worry wort. Most of the monsters here have started calling me 'master' by now anyways. Only a few of them still won't listen to me. Besides, this is all just for fun."
Castlemania: Aria of Pinkie
An Unconventional Visitor
Dreams were great. The way Pinkie saw it, it wasn't a good night's sleep without a manic sugar induced hallucination here and there. Her subconscious imagination covered a vast amalgam of topics: What would the next adventure with her friends be? What was being a pegasus like? Surely a nice surprise. What did the scanners see? Was grass sentient? Was it possible to construct a donut-cupcake-ice cream cone?
Mr. Cake's voice intruded upon a particularly tantalizing dream depicting the Equestrian Renaissance painters. “Hello, Pinkie Pie? Are you still asleep? Goodness.” There was a knock at the door back in the waking world. “You have a visitor here. Time to wake up.”
Pinkie's eyes cracked open as the stallion's voice booted her from sleep. She yawned.
“Are you awake in there?” grilled Mr. Cake.
“Yeah. Come in,” she croaked groggily.
The pastry baker entered. “I'm surprised you're not up! It's already after noon.”
The words seemed blasphemous. “Huh? Are you sure?” Pinkie asked with a moan.
“Yes, Pinkie. I'm sure.”
A quick glance out the window revealed the sun blazing high in the sky.
“You're right,” Pinkie admitted. That's weird. I usually get up at dawn and count the sprinkles on all the cupcakes.”
“Indeed,” said Mr. Cake. “Anyway, you have someone here who wants to see you. I don't know what he wants, but he says it's important. Just eh, let me know if you need anything.”
Pinkie shrugged. “Alrighty. Fine with me.”
Mr. Cake disappeared downstairs. Moments later, quite the unexpected visitor slithered into the room. His eyes twinkled with mischief.
“Whoa! Discord!” gasped Pinkie as she shot out of bed. She pointed a hoof at the draconequus. “You better not be up to any funny business!”
Discord chortled and bowed before his host. “Oh, relax! Those days are far behind me! I'm a refined gent now. Don't you remember? Fluttershy showed me the tragic error of my ways.”
“Hmm...” Pinkie scratched her chin. “I suppose that makes sense, but I've got my eye on you, mister.”
The mythical creature grinned. “Completely understandable. May I take a seat?”
“Sure. So why do you want to see me?” Before Discord could answer, Pinkie came to her own conclusion. “Oh! Is it something to do with the castle and my powers?”
“Bingo!” said Discord, throwing his hands up. Confetti and streamers materialized and rained softly onto the floor. The chaotic entity summoned a throne and flopped lazily onto it. “You see Pinkie, you are a very special pony. Nopony else in the entire world has powers quite like yours. Only you are worthy of becoming the castle's master.”
Pinkie's eyes grew wide with wonder. “No way!” she voiced in amazement. “What about Princess Celestia? Couldn't she take the castle if she wanted it?”
“Nope!” said Discord. “She doesn't have your abilities. She just has measly old magic. The castle is very picky when it comes to selecting an heir!”
Pinkie couldn't believe what she was hearing. This was insane. “You're sure nopony else can do the job?”
Discord made a noise of delight. “Indeed not, my dear confused amigo! Can't you feel it calling you? The castle wants you to rule it!”
Pinkie asked, “But why me? I'm just your typical neighborhood Pinkie Pie! What makes me so special?”
“Those delicious powers of yours, of course,” replied Discord. He rubbed his hands together as if referring to a scrumptious meal.
Pinkie wished she had a goatee to stroke. “But I still don't know why I'm the one. Surely other ponies have visited the castle before. I know it's hidden pretty well but still... why me?”
Discord turned and laid over the arms of the throne. “I have no earthly idea! It could have been your pet alligator for all we know! But it's not. It's you, and that's wonderful!”
“Hm. Okie dokie lokie...” She hopped up and trotted to the window. The Everfree Forest was visible in the distance, well beyond the sleepy outskirts of Ponyville. “But will I ever find out what all this means? Have I always had these powers inside me? Why is this all happening now?”
Discord laughed heartily and joined her at the window. He rested a thick paw on her shoulder. “My my, so many questions. I promise that everything will be clear very soon.”
Pinkie looked at the draconequus. “How do you know so much about the castle and my powers anyway?”
“Simple, my dear Pinkie! Long long ago, before I arrived in Equestria, I used to reside deep within the castle's walls.”
She did a double take at the revelation. “No way, really?”
“Oh yes,” said Discord. “That was long before the castle came here. In fact, you could say it was in another world entirely.”
“Another world...” repeated Pinkie. Vibrant fantasies popped into her head about what kind of world it might have been.
“The previous ruler was a quirky lad. Sam, Sumo, something like that. The funny thing is - he wanted nothing to do with his powers. In fact, he outright rejected them! He thought the castle was evil and it's mere existence was a plea for purging. Can you believe that?”
“That's silly,” echoed the current heir. “I mean, he was wrong about all that. Right?”
Discord narrowed his eyes. “Yes. He was led astray by his so-called friends. Not everyone understood how beautiful the castle was.”
“Uh, you mean everypony , right?” Pinkie asked.
Discord realized his mistake. “Oh, yes, of course. Sometimes I forget how little you ponies know. Anyhow, at that time I was shut away deep inside the castle. He never ventured far enough in to discover me.”
“How did it end then? What happened to him?”
“His friends convinced him to leave. He abandoned his powers and the castle never to return. As far as I'm concerned, he lived the rest of his life without accepting his gift.”
“How sad,” Pinkie said quietly. “That doesn't seem like the right thing to do at all.”
Discord jumped back onto his throne. “Exactly. So now that we've had a little history lesson, it's time for the real reason I came to visit today.”
Pinkie smiled. “Okay! What is it?”
Discord snapped his fingers and conjured a small present wrapped in silver paper. “I have a gift for you!”
“Yay! Ohmygosh thank you so much!” squealed Pinkie. She threw her arms around Discord and squeezed him tightly. “I love getting gifts! It makes me so happy!”
“I knew you'd be excited. Here, take it!” He handed her the small box.
She tore it open at mach speed and extracted a lustrous white ring with a sizable ruby resting at the center. She inspected it thoroughly, awed by its indefatigable glitter.
“Discord, a-are you proposing to me?” she whispered.
The creature giggled and blushed like a schoolgirl. “Oh Pinkie Pie, you scoundrel! We barely know each other! What would the others think? Let's talk after dinner and a show. For right now, the artifact I gave you is what's important. It's called a Chaos Ring. I just want you to have it. That's all.”
“Chaos?” Pinkie repeated suspiciously. “That sounds dangerous. Are you sure you're not up to no good?”
“I'm sure,” said Discord. “You see, that ring is only meant to help. It draws power from chaos and mashes it down into energy you can use. Basically you can use your powers all you want and never get tired!”
“Ooh, that does sound nifty. Are you sure I can have it? It seems really fancy. I might accidentally break it.”
Discord told her, “The chances of that happening are somewhat diminished, considering how it's protected by its own chaotic power. It belongs to you now. Take it! Think of it as a welcome home gift.”
Pinkie Pie gave Discord another bear hug. “Thank you so much! That's so nice of you!”
“Don't mention it! Anything for the new Master!”
Pinkie squinted her pale red eyes in the noontime sun and licked her edged canines. “You know Discord, I'm starting to get used to that title.”
Castlemania: Aria of Pinkie
Hurtling through the air alongside Princess Celestia felt like, well, hurtling through the air alongside Princess Celestia. The ruler of day had taken on a startlingly serious attitude when Twilight recalled her misadventure at the castle. She'd canceled her day's events and instructed Twilight to follow her immediately. A light rain had only just begun as the duo rushed into the depths of the Everfree Forest.
“Why didn't you tell me about this sooner?” pressed Celestia.
Twilight puffed and panted in effort to keep up. Her wings already ached in protest. “I'm sorry Your Highness, I had no idea how serious this was! I thought Pinkie's 'powers' were just a new form of magic and that you'd permit me to research them!”
Celestia shook her head. “Three days... I pray we're not too late.”
“What exactly is going to happen if we're too late? Pinkie will be okay, won't she?”
“I sure hope so. Enough talk. We need to get there post haste.”
On they sped. The alicorns zipped over the trail in a reckless charge of barely contained urgency. By the the time they landed at the seedy entrance to the cryptic castle, the rain had intensified into a steady drizzle. Celestia wasted no time in stomping straight into the stone tunnel.
“Keep up, Twilight. You've been here before. I need you to navigate.”
Twilight willed herself to match Celestia's strenuous pace. “I have no idea where Pinkie is, though.”
“That's alright for now. Just take us up, please. I sense an immense source of power coming from somewhere higher in the castle.”
“Do you think it's her?” Twilight asked.
“I can't say. Let's just hurry,” Celestia replied.
Unfortunately, further progress halted. They spotted a huge gray skull hovering in front of the cave's only probable exit. The disembodied cranium was suspended upside down with noises coming from inside. Out of the mouth and dusty eye sockets emerged three wriggling worm-like appendages. Each fleshy tentacle possessed a single eye at its tip.
Twilight stopped in her tracks and cringed at the disgusting thing. “Eeyuck!”
Celestia summoned her magic and prepared for combat. “The monsters in here are a lot more dangerous than anything you've ever faced, Twilight. Stay on guard! Help me slay this beast. Zap its eyes!”
Twilight loosed a shot of magic at the beast. It missed the tentacles and only succeeded in blowing a small hole in the cheekbone.
The skull floated forward and wildly swung its tentacles about. Its eyes pulsed with a white light.
“Watch out!” warned Celestia.
She and Twilight leaped out of the way just as the thing's eyes launched a trio of rippling lasers. The bolts of energy sizzled past and exploded on a mossy wall.
“Now's our chance! Take out its eyes!” said Celestia.
Twilight seized the opportunity by focusing intently on her targets. She locked on and fired off three quick shots of magic. Two of them landed direct hits. The fleshy ropes writhed about and shriveled, receding back into the skull. Celestia swooped down and blasted the last one just before it shot another laser. The giant skull, now devoid of tentacles, fell hard to the stone floor and split apart.
Twilight walked over to the pile of cracked bone fragments and gave them a kick. “That thing was positively revolting.”
“Just be glad it had a weakness to magic,” said Celestia. “We might have to get physical.”
“Jeez...” breathed Twilight.
Celestia flew toward the exit. “Come on. Let's go.”
The caverns quickly disappeared behind the two princesses. Beyond the ancient stairways and up from the cistern sat many well-furnished corridors. Hordes of abominable beings stalked the halls after Twilight and Celestia. As the ponies approached a wooden door to another wing of the castle, an enormous floating eyeball descended from the ceiling and almost sent the rescuers careening off into a wall. Celestia instinctively zapped the eye and watched it disintegrate in a cloud of magic vapor.
“The monsters in here just keep getting more and more disturbing,” Twilight said as she smacked a skeleton away.
“I concur,” said Celestia with a shiver. “That thing must have been peeping on us from afar, waiting for us to get close enough.”
A pair of insidious merponies lumbered up to them, which they simultaneously felled.
“They keep coming,” stated Twilight in dismay. “It's like there's an endless amount of them!”
Celestia kicked a mud demon in the face. “It must be the castle's magic. I'm willing to bet they'll spawn endlessly as long as the castle has power.”
They both stood with their backs against the door as legion of dark forces crammed into the hall. Each creature hissed and groaned, trying to get at the two ponies. There were all manner of skeletons, amorphous blobs, bats, and multiple morphologies of zombie. Twilight and Celestia wasted no time in bolting through the door.
Once on the other side, they found themselves in an extravagant foyer with four different stairways trailing into the castle's bowels. Tapestries dangled from every wall and drooping chandeliers of pearl and gold dotted the ceiling. Twilight immediately noticed something else in the room.
“What the? Rarity? Is that you?” she called.
Sure enough, the seamstress sat at a makeshift vendor's table with racks of clothing designs displayed behind her.
“Oh my!” she cried in delight. “Twilight, Princess Celestia! What are you two doing here?”
The princesses looked at each other quizzically.
“We're looking for Pinkie Pie,” Twilight said. “But uh, what are you doing here?”
Rarity grinned and stood up. She lifted her hooves up to her designs. “Why, I'm turning a profit!”
Celestia walked over to her stand. “You're selling your wares here? Of all places? This isn't exactly a bustling center of commerce. In fact, I'm not quite okay with you being here at all. Have you sold anything?”
“Not yet,” Rarity explained. “You two are the first customers I've had all day.”
“Why exactly are you selling things here instead of Ponyville?” Twilight asked.
“Are you kidding? This place is wonderful!” exclaimed Rarity. “There are so many fabulous garments just lying around! Can you believe there are full sets of clothing that are completely unused? At first I thought that somepony must live here, but there isn't a soul around! Surely nopony will mind if I gather up the beautiful clothes I find and offer them at a small price. It's not stealing, technically. I've also found spools of cotton, silk, and even cashmere!”
Twilight examined the racks of clothing. “Exactly how much are you planning on selling? I think your clientele might be pretty limited here.”
“I'm not expecting any miracles,” said Rarity, “but I'm awfully disappointed that nopony else has come along so far.” She huffed dramatically. “You two will help me out, won't you? Please? Princess Celestia? I'll sell you a wonderful set of armor for a great price!”
Celestia did her best to sound enthusiastic. “Now really isn't the best time for shopping, Rarity. Twilight and I are on an important errand.”
“All the better!” chirped Rarity. “You could use some armor! How about this one?” She pushed aside her rack of clothing and revealed a chest stuffed to the brim with breastplates and gauntlets. With a hopeful gusto, she extracted a brilliant silver plate with blue strips of fabric faceted in. “I call it Eversing!” she said happily. “It was just lying at the bottom of a fountain, for some reason. How about it, Princess Celestia?”
Celestia shook her head while keeping up a polite smile. “No thank you. I haven't the bits to spend anyway. My budget is very tight.”
Upon hearing her offer rejected, Rarity took on a genuinely dreadful expression. She plopped into her folding chair with a pout.
“I'm sorry, Rarity,” said Twilight. “I wish you best of luck with your sales, but we have to get going. Pinkie is around somewhere and we need to find her immediately.”
“So, you don't even want to look at the weapons I've gathered?” whined Rarity. “I have a glittering sword, a giant scythe, some kind of future weapon that fires energy beams, and even a really scary teddy bear. I think it's filled with iron sand or something, so you could really dish out the damage if you -”
“No, good luck though,” Celestia cut her off. “We'll come back and buy something if we get the time.”
“Alright, I understand,” said Rarity as she slumped into a depressed heap.
Celestia and Twilight trotted away toward one of the multiple exits. Rarity gritted her teeth and muttered, “I thought for sure they'd go for the bear...”
Twilight picked a random door and stepped through. Celestia followed behind her and they began a quick canter down the hall.
“I can feel Pinkie's presence growing closer,” Celestia said. “We're moving in the right direction.”
A sinister laugh echoed throughout the corridor, alerting both ponies. There weren't any monsters in sight.
“That laugh sounds awfully familiar,” said Twilight.
Celestia swallowed and narrowed her eyes. “Discord.”
The laugh sounded again, reverberating up and down the hall.
“Show yourself!” seethed Twilight.
The bright flash of a teleportation caused both ponies to halt and shield their eyes. A grotesque creature now stood before them, blocking their access. The nightmarish biped stood much taller than Celestia. It had small tattered wings jutting out of its back, and a smooth green head reminiscent of an octopus. Writhing tentacles hung from it's face, and its soulless yellow eyes kept careful watch on the ponies.
Twilight was horrified. This new creature was much scarier than the insect infested skull. It just stood there staring.
Discord's voice rang once more. “This is Malachi. He's one of my favorite pets! He won't play rough if you treat him nicely. In fact, he's going to bring you two right up to us. The Dark Lord and I have been watching you since you entered the underground reservoir, and we're eager to talk to you both in person. Hurry up now, you two! We don't like waiting!”
Twilight's brow furrowed and she looked expectantly at Celestia. “Dark Lord? Is he referring to Pinkie Pie?”
“He must be,” Celestia replied. “Our time is growing short. If we want to save her, we need to cut her off from the castle's magic right now. I suppose we have no choice but to follow this... Malachi.”
“Are you sure? I don't trust that thing,” stated Twilight.
“I don't either. Keep your guard up and be ready to fight at a moments notice.”
Malachi's tentacles flopped around idly. It slowly turned its back to the ponies and began lumbering clumsily down the hall.
Twilight and Celestia followed its footsteps with the utmost caution. The thing stomped up several sets of stairs. It wound all around the castle in a seemingly random path. It crept along at a molasses pace. Twilight eventually calmed down enough that she no longer felt threatened by it. At long last, it lead them to a heavy wooden door. Sensing its mission was complete, it howled menacingly and teleported away.
Celestia looked at Twilight. “Well, no use waiting. She's close. I can feel an astounding amount of magical energy.”
Twilight nodded and tugged open the door. It lead outside, somewhat. Beyond the door was a churning gray dimension, free from the restraints of time. Tendrils of gray swirled about infinitely in every direction. In the distance, a single cubic chamber lay in a gravity-defying state. A marvelous red carpeted staircase stretched all the way down from the chamber, connecting it with the rest of the castle. Up at the top, Discord exited the chamber and waved at Twilight and Celestia. He motioned for them to approach, then reentered the floating room.
The princesses looked at each other, then bounded up the staircase. Levitating orbs of flame ignited on each side of the stairs as they ran, accentuating their otherworldly path.
“I'm really nervous,” Twilight said as she ran.
“It's okay. Don't forget, we're dealing with Pinkie Pie,” said Celestia. “Maybe she'll listen to us and willingly abandon the power.”
They ascended to the top. The grand chamber loomed high in front of them. Celestia opened the heavy door and entered, followed closely by Twilight.
Pinkie Pie sat happily atop a golden throne. Discord was coiled beside her, grinning delightfully at the newcomers. Behind Pinkie, thin curtains drifted softly through the air in an unseen breeze. The room was smaller than it looked from outside.
Pinkie stood and smiled wide. Her ruby eyes glowed in the dim light of the room. “Oh my gosh! You're finally here! Boy Princess Celestia, I haven't seen you in like, forever!”
Celestia calmly approached Pinkie. “Yes it's wonderful to see you too, but you're in a lot of danger right now.”
“Danger? What are you talking about?” Pinkie laughed and licked her serrated fangs. “There's no danger here. Right Discord?”
“Absolutely not,” asserted the draconequus. He waltzed over to Celestia and bowed before her. “You and Twilight are completely safe. You have my word.”
“I'm sooooo glad you guys are here!” Pinkie squealed. “I watched you fight all the monsters on the way up here. I also watched Rarity pick up all the useless clothes and stuff lying around. Can you guys believe how much stuff is in this castle? There's meat hidden in the walls...”
“Pinkie Pie, I need you to listen to me for a second. Your powers aren't what you think they are,” Celestia started. “They come from a dark place and whenever you use them, they take a little piece of you with them. You need to give up your powers and come home with us right now.”
Pinkie sat on the floor. “Aww. Why? That's boring. I love being the master of the castle! All the monsters listen to me and I can do anything I want!”
Twilight looked at Discord. He raised his eyebrow mischievously.
Pinkie's flippant lack of cooperation was making Celestia extremely uncomfortable. “You didn't just inherit powers. There's a reason this castle recognizes you as its master now.”
Pinkie scratched her chin. “What might that be?”
Celestia's words startled both Twilight and Pinkie. “The old master is inside of you. You inherited his soul! You're carrying the soul of a very very evil entity. Eventually he will consume you completely and vicariously reign once more. Twilight and I hare here to save you from that fate.”
This set Pinkie in a deep thought. “Hmm. Well, shoot. That complicates things. How long do you think it will take until this 'evil entity' consumes me?”
“That's not the point!” shouted Twilight.
“Hey, no need to yell,” scolded Pinkie.
Discord chortled and summoned a bag of popcorn. He for one, was having a marvelous time. Celestia walked up to Pinkie and examined her altered appearance. “Oh my. It's already started. Please come with us back to Canterlot. We just want to save you.”
“I'm sorry Princess, but I'm really not interested,” admitted Pinkie with a sigh. “This is much more fun than going back to my old life. No offense or anything. Besides, I'll come visit you guys all the time!”
Discord loudly slurped on a soda and belched.
Twilight took her turn at trying to persuade Pinkie. The desperation in her voice was obvious. “Aren't you scared of what you'll become?”
Pinkie looked at her seriously. “I'm not evil, Twilight. I'm Pinkie Pie. I'm not going to do evil things. Ever. Honestly, it kinda hurts my feelings that you'd assume that of me.”
Twilight smacked herself face. “That's not what I meant at all. These powers don't really belong to you, anyway. They -”
Pinkie interjected. “Princess Celestia, Twilight, look. I appreciate that you care about me. I care about you two a whole lot too. But, I said I'm not coming. This castle is amazing, and the monsters love me! We throw parties all the time! You should see how happy the merponies are when we party. It's like they've never tasted cake before! The skeletons are magnificent cooks, and the demons have some pretty wild party games. So, just let me be, okay? I'm happy here.”
“We can't, Pinkie,” said Celestia quietly. “You'll become dangerous. You'll threaten all of us one day, even me.”
“Well, we'll cross that bridge when we get there,” stated Pinkie firmly. “Now if you two will excuse me, I have a lot of planning to do. I'm going to ask Rarity to help me redecorate this place. It feels like a dungeon.”
“Should we use force on her?” Twilight whispered to Celestia.
“It won't do any good now,” was her somber answer. “She's too strong. It may have something to do with that ring she's wearing.”
Pinkie stretched and told Discord to fetch Rarity. She then turned to the princesses. “I'll visit you every week. No, twice a week. Three times a week! It will be fine. I'm just moving, is all.”
“I'm not okay with this at all,” asserted Twilight.
“I know. I'm sorry.” Pinkie summoned her magic. A black aura seeped up from her body. “I'm going to give you two a gift. Like a souvenir.”
In front of them, a large teddy bear popped in from Pinkie's summon. Twilight attempted to lift it, but could only do so with immense strain. “Gah! This thing is heavy!”
Pinkie giggled. “Yeah, it's filled with iron sand. I want you two to take it. As a symbol of my totally-not-evilness. I'll even invite you guys and the rest of our Ponyville friends to my first party once I get the castle redone!”
“There's really nothing we can do to convince you?” Twilight questioned with a touch of sadness.
“Nope. Sorry, Twilight. You know you're welcome here anytime though. I'll tell all the monsters to treat you like royalty.” She laughed. “Oops, you are royalty! Silly me. Now if you two will excuse me, I have important business to attend to.” She summoned her Bone Ark and hopped up onto the chariot. “Jean Pierre, Federico, chop chop!”
Celestia and Twilight watched as she rode her skeletons out of the chamber and down the illuminated staircase.
“Should we go?” Twilight asked blankly.
“I suppose so,” said Celestia. “Maybe she really is immune to the darkness that comes with her powers.”
“Maybe. She is Pinkie Pie after all.”
Celestia started walking. “We'll keep a close watch on her. I don't trust Discord as far as I can throw him. I'll bet he's trying to worm his way into Pinkie's mind.”
Twilight languidly dragged the bear along with her, as it was too heavy to lift with magic. “Alright then. What a confusing day. I'm not sure what to make of any of this. This castle, the dark magic, I don't know...”
“I still know precious little about this place,” said Celestia. “I'll have to make frequent visits with my sister to learn more about it.”
“Same here,” said Twilight. “I guess all in all, it could have been worse right? At least Pinkie is 'okay' in the loosest sense of the word.”
“Oh yes,” Celestia agreed. “It could have been much worse. Pinkie is apparently alright, we have a new area to study, and the best part is, we didn't have to deal with any of those awful humans. This place used to belong to them.”
“What are they?” asked Twilight.
Celestia shuddered. “Maybe later, Twilight. Let's just get out of here. This place is making me paranoid.”
As the alicorns descended the stairs, a giggling Pinkie shaped shadow stalked their hoofsteps. Just to make sure they got out alright. After all, they were very important ponies and she wouldn't have her monsters harassing them. She only wished she could see them out herself. There was just so much party planning to do.
