All Wet

"Red sky in morning, sea ponies take warning..."
-An old mare's tail

“Like I says, I can't get ye a ship without payment!” Grey nickered, snorted and pawed the ground. The oversized combat armor made him look more hilarious than intimidating.

“Two bits, five shotgun shells and not one bullet more! I might throw in a couple of casings though, because I like you!”

“Gold bits, what would a sea pony like me want wit' them? The shells I can use, but that's no payment fer passage! Hard currency, pony! I need caps!”

“But,” Grey took off his ill-fitting combat helmet, “Sapphire said...”

“Aye, she vouched fer ye both. An' I'll take ye both. I wouldn't make this trip fer just anypony. But ye both still need to pay!” The seafarer took off a worn captain's cap, chewed on his corn pipe, and tapped a table with his hoof. His table stood in the open air on the end of a rickety dock. Two other docks also jutted a small way into the sea. A few scary looking tubs were tied up, some even lay beached on cracked, dry ground. At the end of this particular dock, however, was a wheel boat that was tied up well within the water. It wasn't clean, but it actually looked like it had been taken to sea.

Iron Heart looked at them dubiously. “Relax, Grey. Told you wearing that armor was a stupid idea.”

“But I haven't the caps! All is but lost!” Iron Heart tossed a sack of caps onto the table with his muzzle. Ocean Salt stared down at the sack. A greedy gleam shone in his eye.

“Not so fast. What about our safety?”

“Why, uh. Haven’t lost a passenger over all my years of sea farin’.”

“Okay, this sack for the both of us.”

“Now listen, this is… less than I’d normally...” Iron Heart scooped up the sack in an instant. He turned to Grey.

“C’mon Grey, we’ll just fly.” Ocean Salt looked mortified.

“No, no, no that wouldn’t do, no sir. Even the strongest flyer couldn’t weather that distance.”

“I don’t know,” Iron Heart flapped his wings twice. The sudden gust almost blew the captain’s cap away. “I’m a pretty good flyer.” Ocean Salt looked conflicted.

“Alirght colts, throw in those shells ye have and I’ll get ye to Paddock Promontory. TIE DOWN!” Ocean Salt yelled suddenly. There was a commotion inside of the boat. A stallion strode out from below deck. He adjusted a dirty baseball cap with a hoof and cantered up to the table.

“Afternoon Gentlecolts. I take it we have some new passengers, Salt?”

“Aye, and they seem ta be in a hurry. Get her ready to launch by this afternoon, skip!”

“You’re not our captain?” Grey asked.

“Nay. Tie Down here’ll get ye to Paddock Promontory, though, don’t ye worry none. As I says, never lost a passenger. Now, yer tickets. Be back at dock in three hours. She shoves off then, an' she shoves off with or without ye.”

“Let's see your tickets.” Iron Heart had taken both tickets. After exchanging a look with Grey, he shrugged and hoofed over the tickets. Tie Down took the tickets, punched them, and put them in the blue jean coat he wore. “I'll come get you two when we're ready,” Tie Down smiled.

“Augh! That's not the way it works! Yer gonna ruin me. No respect fer reputation!”

“Don't worry about old Salt here. It's not like we get many passengers, especially to those parts.” Ocean Salt didn't look convinced. “It's not much, but if you don't want something other than two hundred year old canned food before your voyage, you can get something at the Salty Dog in town. Now you may not like meat, but they've got some decent bacon. Didn't think anything could convert me, but after I had bacon, I had to make one little exception. They'll also give you some pills so that you won't even have to throw it back up.

“The best part is the fruit. Can you believe it? They have fresh fruit that other ponies can eat! It's called punga. I don't know what their secret is, but I've been trading with the locals from Paddock for years. I supply the whole area with a fruit that's nutritious and safe, if you can believe it.” Tie Down swelled with pride. “Don't mean to brag, but I'm so proud at the work I'm doing. It's been profitable for these ponies, as well as me.”

After that, all said their goodbyes and agreed to meet when the boat was ready.

Iron Heart and Grey went into town. They found the Salty Dog and sat down for some fodder. “What do you think, Grey?”

“I think I'll try the bacon! Ohh, and some of that medicine, too. Don't want to have to spit out my meal.” Grey turned to Iron Heart. “That sounds delicious, not the spitting up, but the other thing.”

“That's disgusting! We eat plants, don't you know that? Didn't you say you had some medical training?”

“Do as I say, not as I do! That's my motto. And, as my motto, I do say that... but I also say that bacon smells good.” Iron Heart shook his head, he hated talking with Grey.

“Yes, but, look, did anything strike you as odd about Tie Down?”

“Nope, he seemed nice.”

“Are you really that naïve?”

“Sure am, what was I supposed to pick up on?”

“That's it Grey, he's too nice. Ferrying ponies, bringing back a fruit?”

“Ooohh! That's right! The punga sounds good, too. I'll have bacon and punga! Isn't that great?” Grey ordered excitedly. The waitress took the order, uninterested. “Making caps, don't forget the caps. Maybe he'd let us invest!”

“There's nothing wrong with any of that, but have you seen what it's like down here? Something's off. And a clean fruit? No radiation, no taint?”

“But you don't think there's anything wrong with me. Does that mean you think I'm not nice?” Grey's eyes became glassy, his lower lip became pouty.

“Actually, I can't remember all the things I think are wrong with you. But you're genuinely crazy, you don't hide it.”

“Aw thanks,” Grey said cheerily. Grey's food arrived, along with a small bottle. The small bottle had “Digesafe” scrawled on it. Grey started playing with his food, levitating pieces and making them glow with his magic. “Aren't you going to order?”

“I don't think so. We can't be sure that it's safe. Not off of the word of one pony.”

“Come on Iron Heart, Mr. Bacon likes you, see?” Grey levitated over his plate. Two root-like mounds were on opposite sides of the plate. Below them, strips of meat had been laid out to like a crude, oily, disgusting smile. The whole thing was just... it was so childish and disgusting that Iron Heart laughed. He couldn't help it anymore. Grey smiled. “Besides, I already tested it for radiation and taint. There might be some bacteria, but hay, that's good for your immune system, right?”

“I don't think- wait, since when could you do that?” Grey levitated the root like fruit and mangled it in his muzzle.

“Since magic kindergarten. Parents taught me the spells as a way to survive. I already told you, I can do lots of things, weren't you listening?” Iron Heart was quiet for three minutes straight while he tried to figure out what Grey was talking about.

“You mean from when we first met?” The unicorn nodded. “Grey! That was, what, two days ago? How could I remember something like that?”

“You just did.” Bits of baked punga were dripping from his muzzle.

“Deep breaths, Iron Heart, deep breaths.” He called over the waitress to order.

A commotion broke out near the entrance. “Somepony, anypony, please!” A disheveled mare entered the restaurant. Iron Heart's food was put down in front of him. A stallion behind the counter called out to her.

“Ain't seen her today, neither, Cat.”

“I know nopony has. I'm not looking for her, I'm looking for help. Please, somepony, anypony.” Most of the patrons ignored her. A few looked over at her, confused.

“Ain't nopony here that can help you. Scarin' the customers, Cat. Real sorry to hear your daughter took off an' left you behind, but you can't keep coming like this.”

“You don't understand! After the Enclave! After Friendship City, she's all I've got left after m-my husband. She'd send something back, she'd let me know everything was okay. She-sh-she...” the mare broke down. Her body shuddered as she sobbed. With a sigh, the stallion lifted a portion of the counter to approach, but he stopped and sighed again when he saw she was lead outside.

“That's another thing I need to tell you, Grey. You can't involve yourself in everypony else's problems. A lot of things you just can't do,” Iron Heart picked up a punga and held it between his hooves, brandishing it like a weapon. “Like Filthy Janet would say, “A mare's got ta know her...” Grey?” Grey's seat was empty, the food on his plate was gone.

“Now, have a seat, and lay down on the bench. And remember, you can tell your unlicensed therapist with weeks of training all about it.” A notebook and pencil levitated next to Grey. A new pair of spectacles without lenses were on his face. For some reason, they made him look smarter, and Grey knew it. He put on a stupid looking smile. Cat stared at the unicorn. He lifted his head slightly and tapped the bench with a hoof, “Come, come, my dear, nothing to be worried about.” She looked at him, then at the bench.

“Sir, I-”

“Will simply not allow anypony to express their deep feelings unless they're completely comfortable. It's a motto of mine.”

Cat stared at him, looking dirty and tired. A bandage was wrapped all the way around her barrel. Exhausted, she lay down on the bench. She squirmed when Grey lifted up her head and put one of his saddle bags down for cushioning. After she'd settled and confirmed that she was, in fact, completely comfortable, Grey started. “Now, my dear, what seems to be on your mind?”

“Well, you see, uh...”

“Ah, quite right, you can call me Grid, or Grey, if you like.” That didn't answer the mare's question at all.

“Well, Mr. Grid Grey,” Grey's smile widened, “It's my daughter. She-she's run away...”

“Ah ha! Issues with your mother. Oh, not you having issues with yours, but her with hers, which is you.” Cat started to get upset, she looked like she was going to cry. “No no no, dear lady. Please don't cry, this is expected. Young stallions and mares often have trouble with their parents.”

“But do they abandon them and run away? Why would somepony do that?”

“To hit their stride and find out who they truly are! To be themselves and find their fortune. To change the world by working in a heavily guarded military base!” Cat stopped.

“What? No! She did say some of those other things, though.”

“Brilliant! Now that's what I call progress.”

“But I know why she left, she told me!”

“But if you knew that, already, you already made that journey of self discovery. What do you need me for?”

“Because I don't know where she is or if she's okay or what happened to her after that Goddess-forsaken boat and no pony around here is willing to even help me find out!” Snorts were punctuating her breaths. The olive-yellow coat of her face was flushed red. Calmly, Grey nodded as he finished writing, levitated the pencil into the notebook, and yanked out his saddlebag. Yanking out the saddle bag turned out to be difficult. He sat there pulling on the strap with his muzzle for a few seconds until Cat realized what was going on. It came out with a pop as she shifted herself. Grey mustered as much dignity as he could floated everything, including his glasses, in.

“Wonderful! I think we've made a breakthrough today.” He tapped her shoulder reassuringly. Her head shifted. “We finally know what you need.”

“We do?”

“Yes, another therapy session. I promise you my best to find her and convince her to come to our next therapy session together. And if she won't come, then I'll make her write a free form letter explaining we she couldn't, and we can talk about that.”

“You'll what? You will? You will! Thank you so much...” Cat looked away. “I'm afraid, I don't have-”

“Nay,” Grey nickered, “I never ask for payment on the first visit. It's a motto of mine, you see. Well then, off you go, and no more worrying, it's bad for the stomach. Also, have a land potato fruit... thing.” A levitating punga fruit landed on the bench. She looked up.

“Thank... you? Grey marched off. “But don't you need her... name?” He was out of sight.

Grey and Iron Heart stood on deck. Tie Down was casting off.

“What was that all about? Who was that mare?”

“Her name's Cat. Her daughter's gone missing. We're going to help find her, hopefully.”

“Didn't you listen? I said you can't keep trying to solve other ponies' problems.”

“I never listened to that.”

“Yes I did. Huh, what?” Iron Heart stomped on the deck, realizing what he said. “No, look, I said it before, and I'll say it again. Try to help every pony and you'll wind out helping no pony.”

“I can't do three things at once, silly, but sometimes the one thing I do solves two! I told her I'd do my best, and I will. If I don't find her, I'll just be honest.”

“You'll just give her false hope and set us up for failure.”

“Iron Heart, I know I can't do everything all at once. But leaving her begging inside the eatery was going to get her hurt more. Now she can at least live her life in the meantime. Besides, we'll ask around a bit, and if we don't find anything, we can continue doing what we need. Who knows, we might even find something? I'd love just to be able to have her tell her mother she's okay.” Iron Heart's jaw dropped. He stared at the unicorn uncomprehendingly.

“That... that...”

“Yes?”

“That's the most intelligent, most sane thing I've ever heard you say.”

“You mean it? Hooray! Thanks Iron Heart!” Two hooves wrapped themselves around Iron Heart.

“...And you lost it.” Grey hit the deck as Iron Heart brushed him off.

“Say your farewells, friends! Here we go!” Tie Down was at the helm. Two electronic-sounding fog horn blasts broke the air. “See ya skip!”

Ocean Salt was on the dock, shaking a hoof. “Skip? That's not how it works! I'm not the skip, ye are! Ye land-loving yellow...” Tie Down hadn't waited to hear what curses Ocean Salt would hurl at them as they left. All that could be heard now sounded like angry mumbling.

“Ha ha! Isn't this great? I love my job!”

“It sure is! Look at that! The wheel isn't turning, but we're still moving!”

“What? Nah, that's for show! Old Tub here was a touring boat up and down the shore in old Equestria. She would also make regular trips out to Paddock Promontory. That's right, the very same place you yourselves are heading!”

After awhile, all three ran out of topics to discuss. As if channeling ancient tour guides from the past, Tie Down made each mundane topic sound interesting. Iron Heart became bored quickly, but Grey was rapt, even excitedly adding his own questions and comments. Iron Heart secretly despised the way Grey raised his hoof, waiting to be called upon, even though he was practically the only pony that could ask one. As day became night, they all went below for dinner.

“And tonight's fine cuisine is a double feature! “Cheezy Doodlies” and “Blamo! Macn'Cheeze.” It's a regular tour de cheese!” Tie Down set the plates for them. Grey put his hooves together.

“Food! Thanks, Celestia! And please thank Tie Down, too. Thanks Tie Down!”

“Don't thank me, you two paid for it.” Grey was already muzzle-deep in cheese.

“Shouldn't you be driving the boat?” Iron Heart asked.

“Nah, Old Tub's on autopilot, now. I'll still check our bearings regularly, make sure we're on course, but that beautiful system allows me to only take the helm when I want to.

“Right. How long of a trip is this, anyway?”

“Well, off the coast here, we actually get decent weather. Assuming that all goes fine, we'll be there in a day or so. Paddock Promontory's a good ways off the coast, but we can make good time.”

They didn't make good time. A storm rolled in, battering the ocean around them. Tie Down took the helm, maneuvering the boat along the waves. After a few minutes, Iron Heart got sick to his stomach without realizing it. He tried to talk, but his body suddenly let out his supper all over the deck.

“Don't worry about that; rain'll get it.” Although he was yelling, Tie Down could barely be heard.

“Sorry,” Iron Heart called out. “What can we do?”

“Get below and stay safe, if you don't hear from me by daybreak, I've washed over.” Iron Heart and Grey looked at each other.

Long hours crawled by. The motion of the vessel made it hard to think or do anything but wait.
The longer they waited, the more they imagined an empty helm, a destroyed navigation computer, and drifting at sea, lost without knowing it. Neither wanted to risk going on deck.

Grey settled himself underneath the table. Unfortunately, while it was nailed down, he was not. As Old Tub made its way from wave to wave, every pitch and rock sent him pawing and scratching around, trying to get a grip. Seeing Grey scramble around for a grip was entertaining... he would sway this way, just about stop himself, and then he'd start to slide the other... Iron Heart hacked up the rest of his dinner.

“Ugh, why do I keep doing that?”

“You're getting sea sick. Also, smelling that is making me regular sick...” Iron Heart searched the cabinets in a panic. All he found were a few boxes of food. There was a clink of metal as a magical energy pistol fell to the ground. Grey added his contribution to the mess on the floor. “Aww, all that radiation and none of the nutrition, now. Oh well.”

Iron Heart couldn't stand it anymore. “Alright, stay here. I'm going up.”

“Don't do it, think of your children.”

“I don't have any!”

“Well, true, but think of the ones you won't have if you get swept over!”

“If I had kids even remotely like you, I'd throw myself overboard.” Turning around, Iron Heart saw Grey looking down and stirring something putrid with a hoof. “Seriously? Can't you even take a joke?”

“That was a joke?” Grey asked. Iron Heart nickered, shook his head and went over to the cabinet. He found what he was looking for. Grey continued to protest, “But I'll get scared, Iron Heart.”

“Don't worry about that. You'll be busy. Don't worry about me. Aren't you forgetting something?” Iron Heart flapped his wings.

“I don't remember planning to be busy.” That was all the justification Iron Heart needed. He tossed a few rags at Grey.

“Didn't find any cleaner, so do your best.” The boat lurched. Grey flew to the other side, smacking into the wall. Iron Heart lifted off the ground, but he smacked a wall as the boat gave a mighty twist.

Iron Heart looked over at Grey, who was on his head, but moving. After a second lurch from the boat, Iron Heart became worried. “Grey! Stay here. If we swamp, get on something that floats.”

“What? What!” Once again ignoring the useless unicorn, Iron Heart flew to the hatch, bucked it open, and flew into the storm.

It was a nightmare. Old Tub was surrounded by waves, all coming at the boat from at least three directions. The storm he could have handled, however. It was the empty helm, spinning free, that caught his attention. Somehow, a shock of horror reached his heart. His panicked whinny wasn't heard or acknowledged by any pony. That could be because of the rain, but also the fact that nopony was around. Looking around frantically, he spied something in the water.

He rushed over to it. His muzzle just grasped the cloth when he was swallowed by water. All he heard was a low rumble, he couldn't find which direction was up. Something was tugging on his muzzle. Whatever it was, he grasped on to it with his hooves and refused to let go. An eternity passed. Iron Heart's chest started to heave. Starting to panic, he almost let go to try and swim to the surface. Two things stopped him. First, he didn't know how to swim. Second, he noticed what he held was moving in a particular direction (Iron Heart hoped it was the right one).

A sudden roar of water pierced his world. Iron Heart saw sky, or rather, dark blackness. He tried to spread his wings. They started to spread out in the water but floated in place. There was no way he could take off. A wave started to push him, move him away from where he had been. He was starting to get scared. A sudden burst of light came from the other side of the wave.

Hills! These are like hills! Or the SKY is the HILL, and the water, well, IT'S THE SKY. A small orange vest floated away as Iron Heart let go of it. He reoriented himself, finding the sky and making it the ground. He spread out his wings. Slowly, he started to fly and held his breath as his world went quiet again. He beat his wings again. The resistance made it hard, but he had to do it. He had to keep doing it or he'd drown. He narrowed his form, but it wasn't working. Think! Damnit Think! Strong wind, strong current! Have to fly slow, BUT ALSO NARROW! His chest started to heave for air. Instead of his normal cycle of flapping, he narrowed his wings, then extended them again. It pushed him forward. He kept his wings close to his body as he pushed them out, again, Small resistance, strong current, until... NOW! His body gave a cough that expelled precious air and brought in seawater.

A small light blinked and then was gone. Almost if in reply, a much brighter yellow light burst, and then was gone. The sea roared with unfeeling cruelty, sinking its dinner deeper into its belly... and then its belly exploded. One of its wave's back spewed open, giving way to a nascent pegasus, exhumed. A mad whinny broke through the air, but was cut short.

Iron Heart smacked into another wave, noticing he had been up side down. He beat his wings again, refusing to let the water take him. He burst free again, righted himself, and tried to loft higher. A wave approached. He changed to focus on his speed. This time the wave charged at him with furious speed, as if trying to smack him down. As it bore down, he stopped flying, brought in his wings and narrowed his body the best he could. Instead of an explosion, this un-burial was a pin prick. Iron Heart exploded with laughter, which was cut immediately by a series of coughs. Focusing, he gained altitude. Suddenly he was free of the maelstrom. Free to hover and expel his stomach once again.

His stomach heaved, having nothing more to empty. There was a yellow flash below somewhere. His coughs turned racking as he bobbed above the sea. Adjusting his body he tipped his torso forward. His magnificent wings beat off excess water as they continued to keep him aloft. His body made a sound somewhere between a retch and a cough. It continued for a long time as his lungs squeezed out water.

There was a flash of yellow that didn't fade immediately. That wasn't lightning. It looked like a sphere. Following his gut (and its former contents), Iron Heart rocketed down. He flew along the waves and over them, getting a better look. He caught just a glimpse of Tie Down as the glowing sphere started to fade. Iron Heart hesitated a moment.

“Momentum damnit! Keep your head pointed up and keep your bucking momentum! And as for you, you back stabbing, heartless bitch! Take this!” Iron Heart launched himself directly at Tie Down. Iron Heart narrowed as best he could. Just before he hit he arched his wings like a griffon to get the least resistance possible. Tie Down was a unicorn, he realized, as sea swallowed him gladly once more.

The glow had been faint when Iron Heart reached it. He lowered his body slightly and slammed directly into the sinking unicorn. He hit Tie Down dead on and was able to entangle him. Clutching the unicorn close, Grey used his locked wings to turn his shallow angle upward instead of downward. He folded his wings as they slowed. More, more, just a little more! They had stopped. Iron Heart silently screamed. They started to float to the top. They were picking up speed. Iron Heart pulled Tie Down into himself and gave one mighty beat after another, pointing his wings forward before each beat. They were going faster, but he couldn't tell if it was fast enough. Again and again, with only the occasional flash to show them that they hadn't reached the surface yet.

When they breached, Iron Heart let his wings go limp in the middle of a beat. Tie Down and Iron Heart propelled out from the water. They started to slow. Iron Heart's heart jumped within as the pressure from the sea sloughed off his wings without. As most of his wings worked their way free from their wet shackles, he burst the restraints completely with one mighty beat... followed by another, then another. His wings took over as their momentum died. The sea grudgingly delivered once more. This time it was twins!

Iron Hear panted with exhaustion. His body was starting to give and he knew it. Pulling with everything he had left, he and his unconscious partner gained just enough altitude for a hoof to scrape the top of a passing wave. Red invaded his vision, arcing up slowly. He tried to find the source, but it was swallowed up. A strange, electronic, blast echoed. Iron Heart lifted higher, and higher. Tie Down started to slip.

Red flared again. The boat was in a trough! At the point of exhaustion, Iron Heart spread his wings and started to glide in. A wave was approaching. Iron Heart whinnied in fear, if he couldn't see it, he'd probably land in the water. He curled his wings. His muzzle grimaced with pain. The boat didn't get swallowed. Instead, it rode the wave, staying almost in place. Iron Heart beat his wings, trying to slow down. A strange, electronic horn and red flare appeared at almost exactly the same time.

Iron Heart landed on deck hard as the waves brought it up to meet him. He slid into Grey, who cried out. The tiny unicorn started to slow them down. He cried out again, however, when his back hooves went over the side. He reached out. Iron Heart extended a hoof. Grey grabbed on, kicked on the Old Tub, and tried to levitate himself. Iron Heart saw him slip.

Suddenly, the Old Tub hit the back of the wave. Luckily, Grey was on the side facing the wave. As the boat rocked, his hooves met solid, slippery metal. Grey slid, shimmied, and rolled his way toward Iron Heart's hooves.

“Gotcha.” He hugged the unicorn in, and shimmied to the broken hatch, and dumped the unicorns, then himself, inside. Grey motioned to put Tie Down on the table.

“Hatch first, Grey, the ship, why?” Iron Heart groaned and cried out in pain as he lifted Tie Down to the table. Grey looked at him and listened at his chest.

“Beating hearts at the fast marts! Sorry Iron, if we don't act now, his brain could suffer premature decomposition, and death!” Grey opened his muzzle and breathed. “Mighty glowing collapsed throats!” Magic glowed around Tie Down's throat. “Squeeze my sides gently when I breathe.” Grey tried again. He choked and sputtered as Tie Down choked and sputtered. Water was everywhere. “Oh right, the hatch!” Grey clamored to it and latched the hatch. The wind ripped it open again. “Oh right, the hatch!” Grey closed and latched it, this time shoving a dinner fork into the latch. It held. “Iron Heart, can you buck this so it doesn't open?” Iron Heart made to get up but fell back down. “Right, sorry.”

Grey got an idea. Looking through his bag, he found a magical energy pistol. He glanced a beam off the fork and out the window. The fork glowed and warped, but quickly hardened in the cold cabin.

“Grey, the-the boat. It was riding the waves.” Grey nodded.

“I reprogrammed it. There was a new software version ready to be installed, so I did. This autopilot's much better, but I only knew how to keep us in place.” Iron Heart laughed and then groaned.

“Tie Down, hey, can you help me? Iron Heart, was he hurt?”

“N-no-noohh.”

“Great!” Grey rummaged through the medical case in the cabin, pulled out a syringe with his muzzle. He levitated a foam dispenser and spread the foam on Tie Down's chest. Waiting for a dead spot in the ship's motion, Grey levitated the syringe into the foam and pushed down the plunger.

Tie Down jumped awake. Grey levitated the syringe out the port hole.

“Morning sunshine! Feeling awake? I'll bet you are! Now, how about you give me a not-so-crash course in courses. Courses and the autopilot software.”

Tie Down couldn't stop talking he was amazed at how much better the new version of the software was. Ironically, Grey had to keep drawing his attention away from the features to finding a map and laying a course. Tie Down motor-muzzled straight through the instructions as he lay a course and set the ship to “Dangerous Weather Mode.” Grey tried to keep up, but he was left looking confused when Tie Down collapsed, unconscious. With a shrug, Grey stepped over the sleeping unicorn and started to treat Iron Heart.

Old Tub was off course. Although Tie Down had set them on their correct destination again, the sudden, violent storm had taken its toll. “Dangerous Weather Mode” did keep the boat afloat, but it could not resume their course. That required the computer be reset to “Autopilot.”

Iron Heart lay on a bunk bed below decks. “So let me get this straight. You can find a sleeping upgrade, ready for installation, install it, and can have the boat keep from sinking itself... but ya don't know how to have it keep going?”

“Yep. I just can't find the override.”

“Well, hack it!”

“This one's more complex.”

“Are you telling me you can't hack it?”

“Yes. It's strange, really. Somepony threw a really fancy compie on Ol' Tub here, an' she shore 's fanc-ee.”

“Wow Grey. You just proved that you can sound stupider. Talk normally before I have to beat you normal.”

“I wonder who made this computer, anyway.” A small door separated the mess from the forward cabin that housed the computer. There was a locked door at the rear of the cabin. Grey had gone into the forward compartment and was ogling the tower welded to the boat's floor.

The computer looked surprisingly sturdy and shiny, especially when compared to the rest of the boat. “Oh! Look, Iron Heart, I see something!”

“Broken rib, remember?

“Oh, don't be such a baby, I set those and then gave you the healing potion. I'll bet they'd even grow back... nah, they wouldn't grow back.”

“Those, as in more than one? Grey! Ya said there was only one!” Grey sat and thought a moment. He started to count one hoof with the other.

“One, two, … th...ree...” he looked confused at his counting hoof. “One!” he held up the hoof with a smile. Iron Heart made angry, guttural, frustrated, vocalizations. He went to get up but sucked in sharply and grimaced. He lay back down slowly.

“St-able-Tec. Huh, I guess they do make things that last.” A groan emanated from another bunk. Grey made his way over. Tie Down was holding his head.

“How are you doing, buddy?” Iron Heart called up. Tie Down groaned in response.

“Here, I made you some Cheezy Doodlies!” Grey floated up a plate with the snack arranged (or rather, dumped) on it. A fork and knife lay on the plate as well.

“Where are we?”

“The ocean.”

“Grey, is that you?”

“Uh-huh.”

“What happened?”

“You drowned.”

“What!”

“It's okay. We got the water out.”

“But where are we?”

Grey trotted over to the computer and rambled off numbers on the screen.

“Hoah! Are we that off course?” Tie Down Rubbed his temples and closed his eyes. Grey nodded excitedly, oblivious. “Okay, here's what you need to do. Fist, log in. The password is Caesar.” A few tapping hooves indicated that Grey complied. “Got it? Good. Now, you'll need to change our mode, and enter a few parameters...”

After a few minutes and some re-explanation, Old Tub changed its course and started puttering on its new heading. “So, how long now?” Iron Heart inquired.

“I've never seen a storm like that. Wait, how did I- the last thing I remember was going overboard.”

“Iron Heart was amazing,” exclaimed Grey, “you were all pew-zap, and he was all like fwoosh-splash. I was all like fixy-fixy with this pistol, and Mr. Keyboard was all-” His hooves made a wild gestures that went mostly unappreciated.

“What he means to say is that you went overboard, I went over looking for you. You were teleporting to the surface, and I saw you just long enough to catch you and bring you back. Grey had reprogrammed the boat to stay in one place. After catching you, I brought you back.”

“It wasn't anything like that, it was much more exciting! I like my version better.” Grey's hoof made a tiny “ting” as he stomped on the metal floor for emphasis.

“Too much excitement, I don't want to think about it.” Iron Heart closed his eyes and tried to sleep.

“Well, the important thing is we're all safe and we're on our way, thank Celestia.”

“Thanks for saving me, guys. I'd be dead if it weren't for you two. It was stupid to try and hold the helm by myself. Should have taken you up and got you two to help.” He gave a chuckle. “We could have even gotten some rope to stay safe. You think I would have even remembered my name, at least.”

“But it all worked out okay,” Grey piped. “I guess Celestia's looking down on us, after all!” Iron Heart gave a groan.

“Stow that shit, Grey.”

“What did you say?” Grey lifted a hoof, aghast. Iron Heart got up, grimaced with pain, and came over, one painful step at a time.

“You keep bringing her up. That bitch.”

“Iron Heart. I brought her up twice. And it just so happens that it's true! Do you have any idea how I found out where we need to go from Canterberry?”

“Two times too many. I didn't see Celestia or Luna out there last night. All I saw was water, and look, more water. All of it trying ta bucking kill us.” Iron Heart was starting to loom over Grey. Instead of shrinking, Grey tried to reason with Iron Heart.

“B-But Iron Heart, don't you believe she's with us, how do you think we're all still alive?”

“Me, Grey. You, too.” Iron Heart jabbed a hoof at Grey's breast. “We fought the sea itself, and we came out alive.”

“Because she was helping us.”

“No! Because you and I didn't wait for some bucking celestial hooves to lift us out of that bucking sea. I didn't see anypony out there but you, me, and our friend, there. We stayed alive by my wing tips and your,” he gestured at Grey and Tie Down,“horn tips, there isn't any way around that.” Grey looked like he was being hurt.

“I-I wish you wouldn't curse like that, most of the time I can stand it. But you're talking about Celestia, a-and Luna.” He stamped a tiny hoof down defiantly.

“I'LL bucking say whatever the hell I want, because nopony was there but me. Don't believe me? Look it up! Where were those “princesses,” Iron Heart made quotes with his hooves, “when Cloudsdale got bucking nuked? Where were they, Grey, when you earth ponies got melted alive on the ground? Where are they now? Nowhere! Not- bucking- anywhere. Probably clopping on each other while the world burned, just for fu-” Iron Heart's sentence broke off as Grey smacked his muzzle with a fore hoof. It was meant to be a punch, but it barely moved the pegasus' muzzle. He stopped, however, shocked that Grey would actually punch anypony with his own hooves, let alone him.

“Don't you ever blame them for the evil other ponies do.” Tears streamed down Grey's face. Puffs of air snorted out of his nose. He broke down and made for the hatch. It was stuck. He stifled a scream, took out a magical energy pistol and shot off the mutilated fork. He bucked the hatch open and went outside, towing a few bags with levitation

As Grey left, Iron Heart thought to himself. What's he mean “other ponies?” If the goddesses existed, all this has gotta be Celestia and Luna's fault. Isn't that what all-powerful goddesses are supposed to do, stop shit like this?

“Two days,” Tie Down said sadly. “We were close, but that's how far off we are now.”

Above deck Grey lowered the satchel. He looked for the paper he was given, but couldn't find it. “Hmm. Mind sight? Hind sight?” The satchel sat unamused. “Come on, two words, something scary...” Levitating his possessions out, he figured he'd find the piece of paper. His medical supplies were entirely out. He did still have his instruments, at least. Without any way to sanitize them, though, they would only be able to get used once more.

“Good thing the medical box in the boat was impressively stocked,” he added. His four notebooks, two prewar bits, some casings, and not much else. Iron Heart had taken the cornucopia of weapons and armor they'd gotten from the crate. “Stupid “feel safer holding onto these” Iron Heart, doesn't think I can do the weapon stuff.”

The paper was nowhere to be found. Perhaps playing a game of getting his inventory back in so that they all fit like weird blocks would help him think. “Ugh, this would be much easier with a spell! Then it'd organize this all for me. I can't see what it's like in the bag. It's like I'm blind. Wait, that was it!” Grey clopped his fore hooves together. “Blind sight!” The flap on the satchel came loose.

Upturning the satchel, he spilled everything out onto the deck. He put his head inside the satchel, searching for anything else. He didn't find any.

There were six inhalers, a bunch of papers, and the sound of something rolling. It was a perfectly round sphere. Grey dropped everything and scrambled after it. It was close to the edge of the boat, so he dove for it, making it bounce against a rail and start rolling the other way. Iron Heart limped on deck to see Grey pounce again. This time the orb bounced into Grey's nose and came to rest in his hooves.

“What are you doing?” Iron Heart asked. Grey wiggled his nose in pain. “Can't you just levitate that?”

“Nope, this is a memory orb, it stores pony memories. If I levitated it, it would activate, see?” Grey brought the orb to eye level and fell limp.

To say Grey felt different would be like calling the ocean wet. He was suddenly hurting all over. Muscles and tendons started calling out as Grey recalled the medical names of every individual tissue that was now in pain. There were a lot of them. Grey wondered if he was on fire. If he was on fire, why wasn't he burning? Besides the pain, which was almost unbearable, Grey realized a few new things about himself. There was an odd weight on his head. He wondered if it were hair. It was probably an incredibly styled mane, that or an oddly shaped magical device attached to a pony's head. Either way, he was bigger... and lacking reproductive organs... no, wait... oh. I'm a mare. When did that happen? Shut up, we're watching. No! I'm trying to figure out what's going on! Me, too, shhh! Don't you shush me, subconscious!

From what Grey could see, this pony was on a sandy beach. There was another pony staring at him. This other pony, a stallion, wore a conflicted face of pain and sadness. From somewhere, Grey heard the lapping of waves on a shore. It was hard to focus, though, because of the constant pain he was in.

“Look what he did to you, look!” A slate earth pony in a suit with a black and gray mane started to lift up a mirror in his teeth. Grey reached out with a hoof, smacking it away. Hey! I didn't tell my hoof to do that. Oooohhhh! Oh! I get it now, I'm having the another pony's sensory experience from watching the memory orb. Wait, you're just now realizing that? Sshhhh! I'm watching! Grey quieted himself to pay attention to the five senses he was experiencing from somepony else.

“Don't worry about that. What's important is that I get back. I need you to do that for me, uncle.”

“But why? We need you! We need to stick together. That's what we've always done when those stuffed-shirts said we wouldn't make it.”

“Pepper, you have always been good to me. Please, I am begging you. This is the last thing I would ever want to ask, but I am the only one who can keep the others in check. If I don't, there will be no telling what will be brought back to the mainland. You don't know these ponies.”

“Have you seen what's going on?” the stallion replied. Grey's vision started to blur with tears. Well, his didn't, but the mare's memories he was seeing did.

“Do not make this harder- I love you. This is the only way I know to keep you safe. You do not know who these ponies are!” Grey felt a hoof around wrap itself around the mare. She panicked, putting out her hooves, trying to resist. “No, please no! The radiation!” The hooves didn't back away, but clenched tighter.

“Thanks to you, I grabbed enough RadAway to last everypony here two hundred years. I promised myself,” now Grey felt a sigh come from the stallion as he hugged the mare Grey was feeling the memory through, it was strange, “that I'd never let anypony harm you. I'm sorry I was wrong. But... seeing you, I fear I do know what kind of ponies they are. If you tell me you'll do you're best to stay safe, I'll believe you.” The mare was now crying into the stallion's breast. The crying made the pain more intense.

After a long time, the hooves brought the mare up to look her in the eyes. All Grey could see was a slate blur.

“That's what you've been doing for us all this time. You saved us from the end of the world... and now you're telling me you want to go off and keep looking out for us. I couldn't be more proud. Maybe this can be a new beginning for both of us. I love you, little biscuit.” A gigantic lump formed in the mare's throat as she kept crying. “Bray! Don't just mope around! Get some supplies ready! Also, we need painkillers to take the edge off, and now!” The blurry eyes looked over at what Pepper was pointing to. Grey couldn't tell anything about who Pepper was pointing to, other than it got to its hooves slowly. It seemed to be responding to Pepper's orders, though. “She's getting the shakes, again. We're going out to sea just as soon as I make sure every pony's okay here. Get that slip ready, too! We cast off as soon as possible.” The blob that was talking looked back at the mare. “What he doesn't know is that he's going with you.” The mare opened her muzzle in protest. “Don't argue, this is final. You saved us, but he saved you. You're good, but everypony needs a friend to look out for them, especially if you're looking out for us.

“I know you two are from opposite worlds, but this, all of this, is going to be a new beginning, not an end, okay?” The mare gave a sad nod. “Also, I'm going to need a way to visit you,” that caught the mare's attention, “I'm keeping the boat.”

Grey came back to his own senses below deck. He lay on one of the bunks, the satchel's contents were below him. Shuffling them around, he found the collection of papers and hoped for a clue. Most of the papers had strange writing on them. The writing looked familiar somehow. Rummaging around, Grey found the notebook from the mountain. Zebrican. Gash's papers, his notebook, what did everything have in common? One of the papers was readable.

Can you believe those dumb asses? Salvation bonus my bloody smile. Ask me, they want us to bring in survivors after the battle so they can strip that enclave loot for themselves. I don't give a shit what they say about 'good ponies just like us” They're either dumb as buck, or those asses think they can hold out on us. One guess which. No pay's gonna be worth what we can rip off a couple enclave You in or out, Gash? My crew's ready for some killin' and more of us there are the more killin' we get to do.

About that other thing. You know i love taking all I can get but this plan to get that , what was it A spell or somthin? Don't caree what clues you figured out, your on your own, girl. Im gonna be too busy swimming in caps after we sell that enclave shit. your pal bloodsaw

Grey threw down the paper. Maybe there was something useful in the translated notebook.

“You awake down here?” Iron Heart descended the stairs.

“Hey...”

“Great! You had me worried there, going all limp and shit. Sorry.”

“It's okay...” Grey looked down.

“Anything useful in there?” Grey shook his head. Silence loomed. “Uh... hey. I- um...” Iron Heart swallowed hard. “We almost died. I said some things because of that. They hurt you, I know. That's how I really felt, still do. But, um, I don't...” One of Grey's ears twitched.

“Are you trying to say you're sorry?”

“That's the thing, I wouldn't take back what I said.”

“You're sorry I got hurt?”

“Actually yeah. I didn't want that to happen. I'm sorry it did.”

“Iron Heart, I wouldn't want you to be anything less than honest. But you have to be careful not to say bad things about good ponies that aren't here anymore.”

“Wait, I thought you-”

“I do. But what hurt me was that you'd say something so awful about ponies you don't even know, even if you don't think they're with us today.”

“Yeah. That I shouldn't have done.” Grey wrapped his hooves around Iron Heart's neck, burying his muzzle... and stayed there. There was a nervous cough. “And there you go again, awkward hugs and all. Geez, you really are like a foal.”

“You're ruining the moment Iron Heart,” the nervous cough became a nervous chuckle, Iron Heart went to pull away. “Nuh-uh, this is your apology hug, I get to make it as longer and awkwarder as I want.”

“You can't be-!” Grey couldn't take it any more. He flung himself back, laughing hysterically. “Very funny, oh very funny.” Iron Heart mumbled a few curses and went to leave. One of his hind hoofs bucked the bunk. The bunk and everything in it rattled, including Grey. He laughed harder. “Screw you, ya crazy insane-o-corn.” Iron Heart was trying to stifle a smirk.

“Alright everypony,” Tie Down's head appeared from the computer compartment, “I checked our radar, we've got smooth sailing to the shore. I made something special tonight.” Plates of steaming food floated in. Iron Heart's stomach growled involuntarily. Grey sniffed the air but clutched his nose after, remembering how much that hurt.

“Thab smells goob!”

“Sure hope so! As thanks for saving me, I made you all my special seafarer's stroganoff.”

“I could eat a- well, I could eat a lot.” All three went to the table and sat down.

“Good, 'cause I made a lot.” He motioned a hoof to the other compartment. They all sat waiting, looking at the food. Iron Heart's stomach grumbled again.

“Thanks Tie Down.” Grey almost gave Iron Heart another hug, but he put his hoof out.

They all sat down. Tie Down opened a muzzle to speak and the sounds of chewing came out. Both ponies looked over to see the unicorn stuffing his face. Tie Down gave a chuckle, Iron Heart rolled his eyes. Grey looked up a moment, “InstaMush neber tasted so good.”

“Thanks.” Grey nodded an enthusiastic “you're welcome” and resumed “eating.” “There's also punga in there, too, wouldn't be surprised if the low-level rads are gone already.” Grey stopped eating, mid-chew. A few bits dropped back onto the plate.

“How?”

“Damn, you're disgusting,” Iron Heart added.

“No idea, I just know that a punga property is that it absorbs rads. Not much, mind you, but just one of its many benefits.”

“Ib really if amazing,” Grey added. Tie Down nodded approvingly.

“I usually don't eat my trade wares, but I broke out my special back up supply. Never seen a storm like that.”

“Any idea why?”

“This stretch just hasn't ever been hit with bad weather. You always see the clouds and rain inland. The wind and currents between Seacraft Slip and Paddock Point have always been mild.

“Tell you what, though, I feel like I can truly say I'm a sea pony now. You as well, you can crew for me any day. I sure hope that's the last we ever see on this stretch.”

Grey, still half a muzzle-full of food, added, “Bet it has something to do with those towers on land.”

“The spires? Why?” Grey didn't respond, he was muzzle-deep in food again. “Ah well, we'll be there tomorrow. You can bet I'll be staying onshore longer this time. Make sure Old Tub doesn't need any repairs. Probably a one-time thing, too, I don't think there'll be anything on the return trip. That is, if the past two hundred years are any indication.”

Deep in the ocean, all along the coastline, even reaching inland, a dark storm was forming. The rest of the voyage for the Old Tub, however, passed smoothly. Mid-morning brought the first sight of land by Iron Heart. Grey saw it, too, after looking through a spyglass Tie Down let him borrow.

“It looks beautiful,” Grey exclaimed excitedly.

“It sure does. Paddock Point was started by the Ministry of Morale, just after Pinkie Pie was assigned as the ministry mare. It was supposed to be a place to get away. Instead of it being over the top, local politicians made sure the actual park was more... normal. That allowed tourism to get big, but prevented the Ministry from going crazy. Life continued on mostly normally. That was all before the war. Nopony knows why, but the zebras didn't seem to care about a bunch of residences and a small park.”

“You sure know a lot about this place.”

“Family history. We've been coming here for decades. Don't let that fool you, though,” Tie Down put a hoof on Grey's shoulder, making the pony pay attention, “the bombs didn't actually explode there, but the world left it behind- it's just as dangerous as the wasteland, maybe even more dangerous.”

“Why?”

“One reason or another. Why'd you ponies need to get there, anyway?”

Iron Heart interrupted, “Why should that matter?”

“No reason. Just that...”

“We're looking for a pony,” Grey blurted.

“A what now? You mean Nat?”

“Is that her name? Her mom was looking for her, and I thought it would be super if we could help the family out!” Grey was getting excited again.

“You mean to tell me, you two dumped a boatload of caps, almost drowned, and are going hiking around that deathtrap... because Cat asked you to?” Grey smiled and nodded. Tie Down shook his head.

“Can you tell us anything?”

“I took her there about a week ago, didn't hear anything since. Wanted to go to the place for fame and fortune, make a name for herself. Also said she needed to get away, didn't know from what until I went back and met her mother. I had no idea, tried to apologize, but it never sounded good enough. You want my advice, stay a night or two in a hotel, turn tail and follow me back. Say you didn't find her.”

“I like that idea Grey, that sounds good,” Iron Heart was astonished to find he was actually agreeing with the stallion.

“Nope, already gave her our word.” At that, Tie Down gave another sigh.

“I like you two. Saved my ship and saved me, so at least I tried.”

As the boat pulled into dock, Iron Heart impulsively flew across. He started trotting in place, stretching his limbs, and going for short flights. A crumbling sign read, “Welcome to ”

“Welcome to Phovannah, Iron Heart.” Iron Heart ignored Grey.

“Grey, what is this place?”

“I just said, it's-”

“Look around.” Old Tub had arrived in dock at noon, but now that they were on shore, gloom blanketed the whole area. A fine mist covered everything. Even though the mist seemed to make everything darker, it didn't block vision. Iron Heart could see all the way up and down the ocean front. He squinted up and saw the sun. It was there, but it was as if all its luster was gone. A shudder ran up and down his back.

“Alright, see you sea ponies later!” Tie Down was hitching himself to an empty cart.

“Hope not. I never thought I'd say this, but I'm glad to be back on solid ground. Any directions you could give us?”

“Yeah, ask around. See the sights. Going inland to start trading.”

“Come out to the coast, get together... see the sights.” Iron Heart looked around and snorted.

“Where's Tie Down?” Grey asked, oblivious as always. Iron Heart responded by pointing a hoof. Grey waved excitedly in that direction.

“Eeeeeyyyeeee don't see him.” Grey kept waving.

“Right bucking...” Iron Heart looked down an empty street, astonished. Grey gave a cringe. A small harbor made out of concrete kept Old Tub and a few other, mostly smaller, boats docked. The rest of the promenade along the water front was empty.

“Haunting, isn't it?”

“I swear, Grey. You don't notice Tie Down leaving, but this place gives you the creeps? Me, too. C'mon, let's find a place to stay. Then we can talk about what to do next.”

Both scanned around for anypony at all. After a minute, they decided to wander until they found one. Iron Heart noticed some buildings looked in tact while others had fallen into shambles. Instead of a violent fall, they collapsed slowly. Planks of wood hung loose on one three story building. Half of its wall had fallen off, the planks of wood splintering up a waterfall of time, trying to reach the wall they should have been covering.

Iron Heart and Grey stopped and looked at each other. Iron Heart pointed a hoof at Grey, questioningly. Grey shook his head and pointed back. Iron Heart shook, too. Listening hard, both heard a small of clopping hooves echoing off the streets. Grey broke into a gallop. “This way, Iron Heart!” He kept galloping down one street, taking a random turn, and then galloping down another. Every time he thought he was getting close, he rounded a corner to find the next street empty. “Shoot, I could have sworn I was getting close!” Even at its zenith, the sun barely penetrated the streets.

“Iron Heart? Iron Heart!” Grey's voice called back to him, adding its own echo to the steady clopping of hooves. He was alone.

“Beware... Beware! Danger is there.” A hollow voice echoed off the streets. Grey searched around, there was nopony. He galloped at full speed until he found himself at a crossroads. The town opened up into a small square. At its center was a fountain with a twisting basin. Facing the four corners were four statues. The top half of one was a griffon spreading its wings, sneering its beak and baring its talons. Another looked like a much smaller hellhound with outstretched paws, smiling wildly and showing off its teeth.

Fascinated, Grey stepped around slowly to see what the other statues were. The third was a zebra, madly stomping and trying to bite. Grey noticed each statue's lower half was that of a pony, rearing on its hind hooves. The lower halves were the same, but each upper half... he continued to step around. Grey couldn't identify the last statue. It looked like one set of hind hooves was rearing up and meeting up with another. It looked like it was moving.

“There, there. Danger to stallion and mare.” Grey whinnied in fright. It wasn't just moving, it was talking. One set of hind hooves untangled itself from the other. A zebra that had been standing on its hind hooves, wrapped up in the last statue, back facing Grey, untwisted. A scar cut across the zebra's muzzle.

Grey galloped away in the direction he thought he'd come. As he left the square, he turned back to look at the fountain. The zebra was gone. Grey ran into something with a whump! Staggering, he fought to regain his balance.

“You are right to run, you will become undone!” Grey looked up at the zebra. His eyes went wide. His hooves froze in place. There was a slow, pounding drumbeat in his head.

“P-please don't hurt me! Please, I didn't do anything wrong. I- I know I ran.”

“Beware!”

“No, no NO! YOU CAN'T HAVE ME! I WON'T LET YOU!” Grey's breathing was panicked. The zebra gave Grey a confused look.

“I don't want you.”

“Good! Because you can't!”

“Why? Should I?”

“You scared me!”

“I meant no offense. I merely spoke for your defense.”

“All your sentences rhyme. Do you do that all the time?” The zebra seemed unsure of what to say.

“No.” For some reason Grey couldn't put a hoof on, he was disappointed.

“Um, so, you don't want to hurt me?”

“My time is short, no more should see death's court... at least not today.”

“Aw. Cheer up. You don't look hurt.”

“The wounds go deep. All my magic can't stop death's creep.” At the word “creep,” the zebra squirmed. Grey paced around the zebra, inspecting.

“Oh! You're a girl zebra!” Instead of looking offended, or trying to stop him, the zebra stood there, sullen. “Good news!” Grey came into her field of view. “You're going to be just fine. Other than a small puncture wound in your abdomen, which I can clean for you, you're going to be okay!” She fixed him with a hollow stare.

“You cannot save me, there are none who can. Can't you see I'm damned?” Grey circled the zebra again.

“Nope.” He smiled. “Can't see it one bit.” Grey couldn't tell if the zebra's scar was twitching, or if she was giving the smallest hint of a smirk.

“Come to the fountain at midnight. Then you will see the horror right.” She started to trot off into the mist.

“Sorry, but do you know where we might be able to stay?” Stooping, she brought her head around to look at Grey. It was low. She pointed a hoof and Grey looked to see at what. Down past the street he was on, back in the square with the fountain, there was a building on one of the corners. “Hey, tha... nks?” She was gone.

Iron Heart was staring at the fountain. Aside from giving him the creeps, there was one statue in particular that he couldn't identify. “Hello, beautiful.”

“C'mon Iron Heart, I don't think she can be charmed, even by you.”

“My wh-what? Grey! The hell? Don't sneak up on me like that, and where in the hell have you been?”

“You know, getting lost, talking to zebra, finding you. Actually, I think between your heart, and all of her, you two make a perfect match.” It took a moment for Iron Heart to realize that Grey was saying the statue and he were made of stone.

“I... just... you bucker.”

“And there's our hotel.”

“How do you know that?”

“The zebra, Iron Heart, keep up!” Iron Heart was about to curse at Grey, but the unicorn was already heading inside.

The upper half of the last statue had its head twisted to the side, sporting a confident smile. Unlike the other statues, which were wild and violent, this one had a terrible beauty- and, at the corner of her smile, barely noticeable, was the smallest hint of a fang.

Addendum I:

Field Report- Lion and Mouse

Related Reference- Field Fleet Report 1024

Classified-Access Restricted

Security Authority Recognized......................

Decryption Initiated.................................................................................

Decryption Complete..............................................................................

They're telling me that this report's going to require decryption too. I keep trying to tell those idiots that everypony needs to read this, not just some damned high-and-mighties. Fine, we'll see if I get enough of a reaction out of those ingrates to merit a response that will leak some of this. Transformation magic, zebra necromancy, dragon magic, enchantment. These are the forces required to allow a pony and a mouse to take down a floating war city.

Lionheart was a pony from Luna's personal guard from before the war. He seems to be a pegasus, but we haven't been able to confirm his species, as there are distinctive traits that set him apart; his strange ears and wings are evidence of this. The effects of the magical chemical weapon known as pink cloud turned him into a ghoul. Whereas a ghoul is any pony exposed to enough magical radiation in just the right amount that instead of dying, they live as rotting ponies. Some go insane and try to kill anything, while others keep their sanity and live in their new state. Anypony that has spent any time in the Equestrian Wasteland is well aware of the risks of approaching an unidentified ghoul, as well as being exposed to so much megaspell radiation that they, too, become a ghoul.

It is essential to note that each magic concentrated and powerful enough to be weaponized has its own form of radiation. Therefore, different spells can, in fact, create different types of ghouls. In this case, the necromantic magic from pink cloud turns some of those exposed into a special type of ghoul. For lack of a better term, we've started calling them immortals. We call them that because they can only be killed if they are dismembered completely, or vaporized by weapons fire. Any damage short of that and immortal ghouls will come back to life, their wounds healed, and continue to destroy any opposition. Yet another reason why every pony needs this information.

Back to Lionheart. He is a ghoul. He is capable at flying. He has years of combat experience. But here's the kicker- he has a PipBuck that emits a necromantic signal. Anypony within range of its magic will die in a matter of minutes. From this tiny broadcaster, the signal can be rebroadcast. Any intercom, radio, or receiver that picks up this signal will itself become an instrument of death. How many intercoms are (or were, rather) there on a thunderhead? Is there any place on that or any ship where a pony wouldn't be able to hear a ship-wide message (if so, then ship-wide messages have misleading names)? This is why the Stalliongrad contingent was wiped out. This is why Dragon bucking Mountain was such a disaster. Anypony can see that in the face of such foes, the only hope for survival is surrender or something better. That bucking balefire at Splendid Valley showed us which one's an option.

How did Lionheart so easily reach and overpower the communications wing of every ship? Easily, by implementing the other half of this equation- Mouse. Mouse is just that, a mouse. However, mouse used to be Canterlot Castle's prized dragon. When the zebras bombed Canterlot with the pink cloud, she ate the enchanted gem at the heart of their weapon and went back to sleep. Apparently hoping to take over after everypony was dead, the zebras didn't take into account a dragon sleeping for two hundred years, breathing that bucking poison instead of letting it dissipate.

Here's where the details are sketchy at best. What we do know is that a powerful transformation magic was somehow enchanted to trigger when a fireworks display was set off. This turned the sleeping dragon into a mouse. We don't know how the spell got there, or how it was connected to the fireworks. What we do know is who the trigger mare was. More on that in another report.

Back to Mouse. She breaths that poison. And, despite her size, she is a dragon, and uses her magic to breath it instead of fire. Lionheart is already a ghoul and Mouse is literally infused with the pink cloud (some have taken to calling her the pink death, a tad morbid if you ask me). And so another piece in this puzzle makes it become all too clear why pegasi have been dying by the truckload. Those defending the communications never had a chance. That is about to change- as our next report will indicate.

How do we know all this? Networks, everypony, networks. A lot of this has been gathered from eyewitnesses, logs, dark boxes, and field footage. I cannot overstate, however, the exemplary efforts of our unicorn friends in hacking and mining many other sources, as well. The one unicorn most responsible for much of this, as well as providing some of our best intelligence personally, must receive the bulk of the praise. By far our most reliable and most trusted source will remain anonymous for their own protection. Don't bucking believe me? Then send one of those council asses out here and they'll be able to confirm all of this, and a whole hell of a lot more. Better yet, just let us bucking distribute this information!

LEVEL UP
New Perk: One Tough Nut
Drowned, shot, bludgeoned, blasted, and you keep going. Just wait 'till the world actually starts trying to kill you.
You receive a permanent +10% bonus to Damage Resistance (DR)

Author's Note

-Ch. 4 done- w007!