"Spike was fucking tired as hell and his dick had no skin left on it whatsoever by the time he was done with those stupid ho ass bitches" I explained to my friends.
"Who is Spike?" one of my friends interrupted my fable.
"He's the fuckin' stud ass dinosaur! The cock responsible for the great reverse gang bang of '69! ...poor twist..." I exclaimed.
"Is that a portal!?!?!?!?!?" this whore named Chelsea that I sometimes eat with yelled in fear.
"YES! IT IS MY CALLING! GOODBYE FAGGOTS!" I shouted as I was sucked through to Horse Land.
...
"Spike you've done terrible things..." Twilight whispered as she felt the blue fluid slowly enter her blood stream. She was watching Spike apply lotion to his crusty penis.
"SOME PRIVACY HERE BITCH!?" Spike yelled at the sight of Twilight splicing her genes and watching him lather his dick in creamy lotion.
Twilight began to cry.
"Oh. C'mon whore. Don't cry on Spike. It's just a tense situation and all. Who's my ho?"
"I am" Twilight choked.
"Yes you are. There, there. Come give Spike a hug."
They hugged and Spike grabbed her ass and whispered into her ear "I fucking hate you bitch, but you gotta big ass though, so I love you."
...
"We have to do something about Spike" Twilight told her friends later that night. They were playing poker and getting baked.
"What is that darling? Spikey Poo? He's just simply adorable. Don't you agree?" Rarity blushed and said to her niggas.
"Rarity, he raped you. He raped you..." Reagan said.
"But I love him" she began to cry.
"It's okay Rarity. We're here for you. You're too good for him anyways" Reagan said in a supporting tone.
"WHY THE FUCK IS HE HERE ANYWAYS!?" Rarity turned vicious.
"His American Pride saved me and Fluttershy's life in an alternate universe. He's here on a business trip and is staying with us" Twilight returned words to Rarity's angry stomach.
Bitchy stomach indeed.
"Better keep Spike away from him..." Fluttershy sqeeked.
"Spikey Poo wouldn't harm anyone. You're all haters, you know that? I love him and he loves me. I'll bet me and Spikey Poo are star crossed lovers in Reagan's universe."
"Yeah that Spike sure is a character. He looks a lot like this asshole I used to know from back home. Black Gorbachev. What a geed he was. Actually, come to think of it, Black Gorbachev snapped Rarity's neck in my universe. But I killed Black Gorbachev with my cum and saved the day" Reagan responded.
"That is such a made up story. Humans make up so many stories" Rarity said.
...
"Spike!" Twilight yelled at the little runt, "It's time to go get ice cream because you've been such a good little dinosaur!"
"Bitch! You don't tell Spike what to do! Spike was gonna go get him forty pounds of meth regardless!"
"Okay."
Smack! "Don't you okay me ho!"
"Okay."
Smack!
...
The pickup truck pulled into the driveway of Fluttershy's.
"What the fuck!? Why is this ho making meth!? I thought we were going to big black's?" Spike asked.
"We're getting ice cream, fuck head."
Smack!
"Okay."
Smack!
...
When Spike entered Fluttershy's house he heard the door lock behind him.
"I can't get high right now I'm working the veterinarian clinic I just opened" Fluttershy said.
"We're hear for your services" Twilight responded.
"We are!?" Spike gasped with joy, "Fix Twilight and make her not be a stupid ass ho ass whore ass cum dumpster ass bitch ass wench! Please!"
Then Twist walked in and broke down into tears at the sight of Spike. This then turned into anger and her face turned red and she shook with rage.
"It's okay Twist. We're here to get Spike neutered. His reign of terror must end! Now!" Twilight said.
Spike lost his boner when he heard this and Twist got a lady boner and shivered with delight as she realized what she got to do to Spike, "and we're all out of pain medications and the hot water is turned off because Fluttershy didn't pay the bills again so I guess we're just gonna have to do the operation while your conscious with dirty and unorthodox equipment..." she whispered to herself.
"You okay?" Twilight asked.
"I'm fine! Never been better!"
Next thing you know Spike is tied to an operating table with a muzzle on and metal prongs holding his legs apart. Tears were running down his cheeks ...poor Spike...
Twist began stroking Spike's cock, "I'll take this one Fluttershy. You take your break now."
"Alright. Isn't she just the greatest student intern ever!?" her and Twilight left the room.
"Ho! Why the fuck are you strokin' mah cock!? You want it don't you!? Fuckin' whore ass bitch ass whore! Let me go!"
"I just need to get you hard so I can take your man hood from you more easily" Twist said with a grin on her face.
Spike tried to control it but got a boner anyways. He's fucked!
...
"Fluttershy! You gotta try this shit! I mean, Heisenberg meth was fucking awesome, but this shit? This shit redefines the whole fucking universe man. I mean, it fucking changes you man. It fucking changes you. Like fucking physically alters your genetics man. You gotta shoot it up though."
"Alright, Twilight. I'll take a hit."
"Cool man."
"Yeh."
"Fuck me. Fuck me! FUCK ME!"
"What!? What is it!?'
"I'm all out..."
"Can we get more?"
"Maybe... I got this stuff while I was on vacation after the events of the great reverse gang bang of '69."
"Well, where'd you go?"
"Rapture. I took the TARDIS that was here."
"Oh. Alright, well, do you know where that TARDIS is now?"
"No. But I could get another one. I know this guy who knows this guy who knows this guy who has a cousin that's a Time Lord. The Doctor. He's a real dick and he's acts like a fucking stinking ass human but he's got one."
"Human?"
"You know? Like Reagan."
"Oh. Yeh. So, you'll look him up?"
"Yeh. Yeh. Of course. We might be filmed and get on a reality TV show though. I heard he had his own. The Doctor's a real drama queen who's always pulling publicity stunts and stuff you know? I hear he's a real self-absorbed asshole and has this slave and a tiny penis and stuff. He broke his TARDIS too, to make it always disguised as a police box. Fucking hipsters."
"Yeh."
...
Everything is blurry. Spike is zoning in and out of reality. He can't tell what's real and what's a nightmare imagined by his sick mind which is apparently torturing him. There are splotches of white in his vision. His whole body is numb. All he can hear is Twist laughing and grunting as she fucks with his dong.
Twist took the hedge clippers and clipped the tip of Spike's dick right off. Blood spewed out of his now open cock all over Twist and the operating table and Spike.
"Well, this is fun! Don't you agree Spike!?"
"Fuuuuuck... yuuuuuo... uhhhhh... I can't feel anything..."
She smeared some of the dick blood on Spike's face with her hoof.
Twist took the box cutters and striped a layer of skin off his cock.
"FUUUUUCK YUUUUUO STUUUUUPID AAAAASSSSSSSSSS HOOOOO!"
"There's the Spike I know coming alive!"
She took the inside of an old pencil sharpener and forced it onto the end of his dick. As Twist twisted the handle pieces of Spike's cock were slowly shaved off.
Fuck this.
...
Rarity kicked in Fluttershy's door and screamed, "WHERE THE FUCK IS MY SPIKEY POO!?!?!?"
Twist was currently hitting Spike's balls with a hammer when she heard this, "Fuck me."
"I will destroy you bitch!" Rarity yelled at the sight of Spike.
He was half conscious laying there on the operating table drenched in blood, semen, and tears. His dick was just a stub with warm thick blood dripping off of it. His balls had been popped open. There was skin from his nuts and dick laying all over the place. Twist stood there with a hammer that had pieces of skin from Spike's testicles stuck to it and blood dripping from it.
"What have you done to him...?" Rarity asked as she teared up.
"He deserves every bit of it."
"No one deserves this, Twist. No one. Especially not my Spikey Poo."
"Get out of here Rarity! I've barely just begone his torment!"
"I'LL KILL YOU FOR THIS!" Rarity screamed as she threw her hoof toward Twist's face.
Bam.
Twist got punched square in the face. She threw the hammer at Rarity but missed. Then Twist grabbed the garden hose and went on to strangle the fuck out of Rarity.
...
I had a tear running down my cheek as I watched Twist drag Spike and Rarity (both unconscious and shackled up) down the basement stairs from the window. I had just witnessed the most horrific thing ever. Twist stitching the length of Spike's cock with thread and a needle? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THAT BITCH!? She's so sick and TWISTed (it burns).
I MUST SAVE SPIKE! (and rarity... whatever)
...
Twilight and Fluttershy came opened the door and walked into Fluttershy's home. They were stoned after smokin' some pod. They were about to walk into the operating room to find what Twist had done but suddenly the TARDIS appeared in the living room.
Wish waaaaay! Wish waaaaay!
A police box appeared.
A strange man stepped out.
"Hello! I'm The Doctor! You called?"
Then they all went inside the ship and it disappeared again.
...
It was pitch black and cold. Spike had a bike lock around his neck and the pole in the basement. He was sobbing tears of sorrow and misfortune. He had finally embraced the fact that he was a faggot. He looked down at the fucked up stitches and wondered where his balls were... He could feel Twist taking his dick but had no recollection of his balls parting from his body. It was all so blurry now.
Common misconception: when your dick and balls are taken from you, so are the nerves.
The truth: Spike can still feel where his balls should be and it's painful. Every second it feels like Twist just did the deed again. Spike will never be happy again.
"Fuck I'm gay now. It's all ogre."
"Spikey Poo?"
"Whore? Oh, wait. I can't call women whores now. BEEYOTCH!"
"Spike?"
"Yes, Rarity."
"Can you be a lesbian so we can still fuck?"
"Yes. For you ba-bee."
The End.
Author's Note
Now you have a boner. You're welcome.