Chapter Two: Exploring Amore
Chapter written by Weird Alicorn

The red and orange hues of dawn’s first light seep through the thin window curtains. Their warm glow dances across your face causing you to stir from your slumber. You attempt to roll over in bed and force your waking mind to quiet, but it quickly becomes apparent that sleepy-time is over. Accepting this, you groan while you sit up on the mattress for a good, long stretch. An exaggerated yawn sounds out as you slowly rub the sleep from your eyes and let your blurry vision swim into focus.

You’re currently lying on a fairly comfy bed in a quaint hospital ward. Without really meaning to, you trace your fingers over your forearms to check if any needles had been stuck into to them while you slept. You can’t quite figure out why you’re lying in a ward in the first place. As you start to worry over how you ended up here, the true memory of why you had spent the night in a hospital is finally recalled by your lethargic brain.

A flashback of the other day’s events plays out in your thoughts and you shudder slightly when you reach the scene where Ms. Harshwhinny had fixed you with her icy gaze. In all fairness, you had totally deserved it after she caught you playing peeping-tom in her closet. Though, secretly you had enjoyed watching the normally uptight mare strip down her bra; that part had gone over quite well with the members of the “Below the Belt” club. You figure she would be fairly attractive with a warm smile instead of the calculating expression which usually adorns her face. Once again, the stern stare reaches the forefront of your internal slideshow and you make a mental note to never piss her off again.

Finally, you remember how Ms. Harshwhinny had effectively blackmailed you into becoming Amore University’s sole sexual educator. At first glance this new occupation may not seem that awful, as you had always dreamed of becoming a teacher. However, after recalling your eavesdropping of the tense conversation between Princess Twilight and Ms. Harshwhinny you feel as if you’ve gotten in over your head. Essentially, you now hold the entire future of Equestria’s sexual culture in your hand. The pressure of the situation begins to stir something inside you and suddenly, you feel the urge to run.

You clamber out of the soft bed sheets and meet the cool wooden floor with you bare toes. Shaking your limbs, the momentary adrenaline rush subsides and your left standing in the middle of the hospital ward in only your boxers and t-shirt. It feels slightly awkward to just pose there like a statue in nothing aside from your skivvies, but fortunately the door that leads to the outside hallway is shut tight. Either way, waking up in an unfamiliar room puts you a little on edge even if you now remember the reason you’re here.

After Ms. Harshwhinny had told you that you’d be starting as the Sex Ed teacher in a week, she also revealed to you that all teachers must live on campus during the school semesters. She had instructed you to go check yourself into the teacher’s dormitory and secure a room for the coming school year. Unfortunately, having been given the job on such short notice, the dorm counselor had stated that they would need a little time to prepare a room for you. Thankfully, Dr. Redheart had allowed you to use one of the wards for the time being until your room was ready.

On the opposite side of the room from the bed, you spot your pants lying in a jumbled pile along with your socks and shoes. You quickly tip-toe across the cold planks and retrieve your clothes. They were the same ones you had worn the other day, but since Ms. Harshwhinny had ordered you to remain on campus, you had no way of going home to collect your things. Apparently, they sent someone to go get them on your behalf. She must have been expecting you to try to make a run for it and didn't want to give you any opportunity to escape.

Of course that idea may have been in the back of your mind, but there’s no way you’d ever try to execute it. After all, this is what you’ve always dreamed of, isn’t it? It’s true that you still feel as if you’re a novice diver that has just been pushed of a three-story tall diving board, but after reading up a bit on the subject, it seems pretty interesting. Sex Ed, that is. Your eyes make their way to the open book resting on a small table next to your bed. A pair of reading glasses keeps the stiff parchment from turning over and losing the page you had fallen asleep to last night.

You cross the room back to the book on the table, all the while trying in vain to smooth out the wrinkles of your pants and shirt. Sighing at your fruitless efforts, you pick up the voluminous book, sit down on the edge of the mattress, and begin to read from the paragraph you had left off on.

Rather, you try to at least. Squinting at the page you realize that you’re never going to decipher the blurred mess. Looking back at the table, you stare irritably at the reading glasses you’d set there. Most people had told you that wearing them made you look studious and more like a teacher, but you had never gotten used to the metal stems that bit relentlessly into the backs of your ears or having to keep pushing them up your slanted nose. Perhaps it was also the fact that you thought they magnified your eyes to ten times their size. Either way, you didn’t care for them, but your wonderful parents had blessed you with their far-sightedness and had effectively doomed you right out of the womb. Begrudgingly, you grabbed the spectacles from off the table, jam them on your face, and begin to read:

”...and during this period, polygamous relationships were quite common. The term used by many ponyfolk in the capital city, Canterlot, at the time to describe these types of relationships was ‘Herd’. ‘Herds’- the pluralization of ‘Herd’- were usually comprised of three to five females as well as one to two males. The colloquialism grew more popular throughout the years and ‘Herds’ soon became the norm for almost everypony living during this era.

However, a deviant subset of the population was also gaining ground in the following decades. These societal secularists did not believe in the confining commitment that came along with ‘Herds’ and renounced the norm for a new ideology. They dubbed their new relationships ‘Friends with Benefits’. In these type of relationships, neither mare nor stallion promised any semblance of emotional commitment, but instead agreed upon satisfying each other’s carnal desires. Any mare or stallion could have as many sexual partners as they desired without the need of feeling guilty for betraying the other’s trust.

Unfortunately, with this newfound freedom came newfound issues. The ‘Friends with Benefits’ model mostly relied on mares and stallions choosing their partners based solely on physical appearance. In the ‘Herd’ relationships, ponies who were deemed unattractive could still usually find mates who enjoyed their personalities, but ‘Friends with Benefits’ made this approach nearly impossible. Without any emotional depth in the relationship, ‘making love’ soon turned to senseless lust. Those who could not find a partner to satisfy their primal urges would resort to more heinous methods.

Organized crime began a steady ascent to power as ‘sex-slave trafficking’ became more necessary for unpartnered ponies. Many fillies were abducted from their homes and were forcibly placed into the system. The foalnapping grew so rampant that Princess Celestia had to personally step in and decree many laws that would put an end to models such as the “Friends with Benefits” relationship. It was one of the only hoofful of times in Equestrian history that a monarch had regulated societal behavior.

In time, the word ‘sex’ became taboo and even a suggestion of intercourse between lovers was frowned upon. ‘Friends with Benefits’ soon turned to just ‘Friends’. To this day, many historians question the Princess’s decision to enforce the laws stated in, ‘The Sexual Activity Act of 531 L.A.C.*’ The repercussions of enacting such...”

A knock on the door grabs your attention away from the text. You look over to the small frosted window, behind which someone’s silhouette stands waiting for you to answer it’s call. Squinting, you think you recognize the shadowy figure through the foggy glass.
“Coming!” you call, getting up and walking over to open the door. As you approach, the knocker’s profile becomes more defined, and even before you finish turning the knob, you realize who’s waiting on the other side. You pause as the door opens to just a crack.
“Are you gonna open it up all the way, or do you think you can fit through that little slit?” asks a sweet, feminine voice.

You don’t answer immediately, but instead stare down at your dishevelled shirt, cursing yourself for not properly folding it last night. A long lost memory of your mother telling you off for not putting away your clothes pops into your head. Years ago, you remember bringing home a girl and seeing her slightly repulsed expression upon seeing the many dirty clothes strewn carelessly about your old bedroom floor. It seems as if you still haven’t learned your lesson.

“Umm… are you okay there?” asks the voice, tentatively.

“Wuzzat?” you mumble, wondering what brought you out of your flashback, but then quickly realize that the world doesn’t just stop so that you can have an inner monologue. “Oh right! Sorry, I was spacing out for a moment there,” you reply, hastily swinging the door open.
With your visitor now in plain view, you can’t help but to trace your eyes over her. Starting at the bottom and slowly shifting your gaze higher, you see that she is wearing shiny black flats which are a stark contrast to her white coat. Moving upwards, you notice how her long, smooth legs wrapped in a pair of sheer pale pink thigh-high stockings disappear up into a short black skirt which stretches tight around her hips. Higher still, the skirt meets a creamy blue button blouse which tapers at her thin waist, but closely hugs her perky breasts. Over the blouse is a white doctor’s coat that’s cuffs have been rolled up to reveal her small wrists. The V-shaped collar of the blouse allows a small snippet of her cleavage to show and a more plain view of her lovely collarbone. A stethoscope dangles loosely down between her breasts, almost teasing you by rubbing up against her soft coat. The stethoscope is secured around the slender neck which leads to the soft lips and further still to the…

“I see you’re still having trouble staying in reality,” she says, smirking.

Your eyes snap up to meet hers; they are crystal blue. Her brow is raised and, along with the crooked smile, it gives her face a slightly amused expression. Another long ago memory enters your brain. The voice of your father echoes throughout your mind saying, “Never stare too long at a women! It’s like looking at the Sun! Just take a glance to get the feel of it, then immediately look away!” His words now made much more sense than they did when you were seven.

“Heh heh…” you laugh nervously, rubbing the back of your head. “Yeah, I don’t suppose there’s a cure for spacing out is there, Doc?”

She giggles lightly at your joke. “I’m sorry, Spaceman. I can’t seem to think of one off the top of my head.”

You fake a sigh. “So you’re saying there’s no hope, Doc?”

“I’m afraid so…” she answers in mock pity, going along with you dumb joke. She can’t help but to giggle again though. However, the giggle quickly subsides and she fixes you with a hard gaze as her hands move to her hips. Her mouth is in a pout, but you can tell she’s just hamming it up for you.

“Eh… what’s up, Doc?” you ask, only slightly apprehensive of her answer.

“You know, I wish you’d stop calling me that,” she says in exasperation.

“So, I guess the white coat is just for show then?” you joke, then wonder absently if that may have come off as racist as she really did had a “white coat”.

She turns away from you, crossing her arms. “Mmph!”

“Right, right. I’m sorry, Nurse Redheart,” you apologise, being sure to sound somewhat earnest, as you don’t want her to actually be offended. She must be the only nurse turned doctor ever to still want to be called by her former title. You’d think that would be pretty insulting and even more so when you consider that she’s a woman.. er mare as well! Then again, you suppose that they probably don’t have much of that sort of sexism in Equestria, anyway.

Nurse Redheart turns back around with a big smile. It’s a lovely sight to see so early in the morning.

“Much better,” she says and then adds, “Oh yes! I came to see whether you wanted to have breakfast with me. Do you?”

“Of course!” you respond with a smile of your own.

“Then come along, Spaceman,” she replies, striding off down the hallway. You watch the way her skirt wrinkles and stretches as she walks for a second or two before shaking your head.

In a low tone that only you can hear you say, “But I see you’re still gonna call me that, huh?”

Shaking your head again, and feeling another smile creeping up your cheeks, you walk down the hallway after the beautiful doctor.

[br]

The air outside is calm and refreshing. Summer’s humid heat is finally beginning to yield to the oncoming coolness of autumn. Soon, the tree leaves will lose their vibrant green hues and the inhabitants of Ponyville will perform their annual “Running of the Leaves” ceremony to beckon in the new season. All in all, it is a lovely morning.

After a nourishing breakfast of oatmeal and buttered toast, you had decided that it would be a good idea to go outside for a breath of fresh air. The thought of being cooped up in a hospital ward all day wasn’t too appealing.

“Good idea!” Nurse Redheart had chimed, “But, unfortunately, I have to stay on standby in case anypony needs me here.”

“There are students here all ready?” you questioned, swallowing your last spoonful of oatmeal.

“Oh, yes. All the students have orientation for the first week. You know, in order to become better acquainted with their teachers and the campus as a whole,” she had explained as she cleaned up the plates on the table. “Speaking of which, Ms. Harshwhinny mentioned that Captain Cloud Skipper would be around later this morning to show you the campus and to escort you to your new room.”

“Escort me?” you inquired, a bit put off by the thought that Ms. Harshwhinny had assigned you a babysitter.

“Well, yes. You haven’t gotten your teacher identification card yet, have you? I mean you’ve just been given the job, after all,” Nurse Redheart had correctly pointed out. “You’ll need to have somepony with you who can vouch for you. Anyway, just be on the lookout for him while you’re out there, okay?”

Thus, here you stand, staring out over the tranquil Lake Neighage which bisects the Eastern and Western sides of the campus. Looking to the East, you can make out the main building of the mares’ campus as a large clock tower which protrudes boldly from its roof. The morning sun gleams brilliantly off the clock face causing such an intense glare that, even from this distance, your eyes squint in protest of the bright light. A similar effect is achieved over toward the West at the stallions’ campus, Starswirl Memorial University, but instead of a clock, the sunlight shines off a large brass bell hanging still in its own tower.

Your eyes then scan to the southeast shore where the teacher’s dorms are located and you notice someone heading down to the sandy shore at a very quick pace. The figure is indistinguishable at this distance, but they appear to be carrying something. Keeping your gaze settled on the figure, you watch as they dash towards the shade of a beech tree, set down whatever they were carrying, and begin to hop haphazardly around on one leg. You think they are clutching their hoof and narrow your eyes until they are almost shut in order to see what was causing the figure’s bizarre behavior.

“Identification,” says a voice off to your side.

“Wha-?” you ask absentmindedly, still trying to make out the figure on the far shore. The figure had stopped hopping on the one hoof, but was now doing the same crazy dance on the other one.

“Identification,” the voice repeats in low, gruff tone.

Turning to see who is addressing you, you are met with a shining metal chest plate inches from your face reflecting your surprised expression back at yourself. The armor appears to be encasing extremely muscular pectorals which you follow upwards to find the face of the biggest stallion you have ever seen. He easily has a foot on you as well as a couple hundred pounds, all of which seem to be attributed to his large, bulging muscles. His gaze is piercing and, as you meet his eyes, his brow furrows so that his thick eyebrows seem to merge into one bushy line of hair. He scowls menacingly at you and folds his arms so that you can now see the pulsing veins of his rippling biceps. All you can do is stand there awestruck and mouth soundlessly at the giant.

“I have not seen you on the premises before. I will have to see your identification card,” the giant demands in his baritone voice which seems to vibrate the ground beneath your feet. Still, you are unable to speak. His scowl deepens as he continues, saying, “If you do not hand over you identification I will have to crush your skull.”

Glancing horror-stricken at his massive hands, you confirm that he would have absolutely no trouble crushing your skull like an egg in a vise. You swallow, feeling your mouth go dry and you legs turn to Jell-O. It’s beginning to become very difficult to form coherent thoughts.

“I-I… d-don’t have… m-m-my…” you stammer out, breathlessly. The giant flexes his hand and you hear each knuckle crack, imagining that your skull will soon be producing a similar sound. “I…”

“Oh, there you are!” shouts another unfamiliar voice.

The giant’s eyes snap away from your own and settle on the newcomer. You however, don’t dare relieve your gaze from the titan stallion, but through your peripheral vision you see another armor clad stallion walking your way. As the new stallion approaches, the giants drops his arms and snaps to attention.

“Captain!” bellows the giant so loud that your ears begin to ring.

“At ease,” says the Captain, dismissively and the giant relaxes. A hand claps you on the shoulder causing you to yelp a little as you were already on edge with the goliath before you. The Captain doesn’t seem to have noticed however as he says, “I've been looking for you, Professor. I’ve been told to show you around the campus and introduce you to some of the staff today. Seems you've already met Boulder Stomp.”

Internally, you decide that not a more appropriate name could have been given to the massive stallion. Warily, you remove your vigilant stare from him to face the Captain.

“Yeah, he was asking me about my identification card,” you explain, still a little shaky.

“Ah, yes. It should be ready by the afternoon,” the Captain informs you, “But until then, I’ll be escorting you.”

“I heard that you’d be coming to get me,” you reply, adding, “That’s why I was out here, you know? Just getting a lay of the land, but I guess that I really shouldn’t have been wondering aimlessly around without any proper identification,” you conclude, glancing sideways at Boulder Stomp, but he takes no further notice of your presence.

“Captain, I must continue my rounds,” Boulder Stomp announces, once again standing resolutely at attention.

“Carry on then, soldier,” commands the Captain, nodding. The two of you watch Boulder Stomp stalk off behind the hospital and out of site with only the sound of an occasional breeze and the behemoth’s hoofsteps cutting the silence. Finally, after a prolonged pause, the Captain turns on the spot and starts walking off in the opposite direction, saying, “Follow me.”

You follow in the Captain’s wake, having a little trouble keeping up. He’s not much taller than you, but he has a brisk walking pace; one that seems full of confidence and purpose. Even more so than his walk, his whole stature - his very aura - exudes the air of someone in a position of power. Unlike Boulder Stomp, whose enormous physique can only appear menacing, or Ms. Harshwhinny, whose icy glare could stop a hundred men in their tracks, the Captain is a stallion who looks not only intimidating, but somehow amiable at the same time. “Charismatic” would perhaps describe his appearance best. He is at the very least handsome with a blonde mane against a snow white coat and wings.

“Here we are,” the Captain says, coming to a stop after a minute’s worth of walk. He turns to you with a half-smile and asks, “What do you think of her?”

Whistling at the sight before the Captain you say, “She’s definitely a winner in my books.”

A shiny, metallic black SUV rests idle in the middle of the clearing behind the hospital. It looks brand new with little to no dirt on the large rims which are incased with heavily treaded tires. Glancing at the grass just behind the back wheels, you can see the tire tracks carved into the earth from the monstrous vehicle. The windows are tinted so dark that you can see your reflection in the morning light. Somehow you were grateful for this as you found it slightly embarrassing to be riding around in such an expensive looking vehicle like a celebrity.

“Perks of being a Royal Guard captain, I suppose,” explains the Captain after noticing your astonished expression.

“Well, I wouldn’t mind joining the guard if this is what the perks include,” you joke. “Though I doubt I’d make the cut for the captain of the Royal Guard.”

“No, Professor, I’m sure that what awaits you this school year will prove much more taxing then the life of a guardspony,” the Captain says with a smile, although you’re quite uncertain as to whether he is joking or being serious. While you ponder his words the Captain brandishes a key from his pocket unlocks the doors of the massive SUV and says, “Come along then, I had better give you that tour.”

Your thoughts meander here and there as the Captain drives down on a narrow gravel road which runs the perimeter of Lake Neighage. Soon enough though, a new structure comes into clearer focus and you surmise that it will be the first stop on your tour of the campus. Cloud Skipper pulls into a somewhat vacant lot next to the building and proceeds to park the SUV in a spot close to the building’s entrance. During this time you take the chance to observe the structure more closely.

The building’s walls are made of the same red brick which seems to act as an architectural motif throughout the campus. Long windows run along the front side of the building, reflecting the crystal blue surface of the lake. You can make out a few silhouettes through the glass, but not much else due to the way the light is reflecting of the windows. Above the windows are signs for a plethora of different department stores and restaurants. Some of the signs look as if they’d glow in bright neon colors when the sunset. All together, the building appears to bridge the gap between the northern and eastern sections of the campus and reminds you of some of the shopping complexes you might find in a city.

“Welcome to ‘The Strip’, Professor,” says the Captain as he shifts from ‘reverse’ to ‘park’. “Princess Twilight had thought it would be a good idea to have a shopping district for the students to buy their goods or simply to have somewhere to spend their… leisure hours,” he explains, though with a look that suggests he’d rather have the students stick to their studies and forget all about “leisure hours”.

You think it rather odd that the Captain seems so put off by simply mentioning something that you’d think any understanding adult would expect a healthy college student to do. Then, you remember the book back on the bedside table in the hospital ward and elect not to go further into the matter. Instead, you ask another question that had formed in your head.

“‘The Strip’?” you question, unbuckling your seatbelt and exiting the vehicle.

“Yes, well, that’s what most ponies have been calling it, anyway,” the Captain answers. He locks the SUV with his key before stowing it safely back into his back pocket. Turning toward the entrance of the strip mall he says, “Come on, I’ll show you some of the shops.”

The Captain leads the way through the glass doors at the entrance. Once inside, you’re slightly taken aback by how similar the interior is to that of the strip malls you’d been to before; the only difference being that everything is ponified.

Walking down the long aisle of the strip mall you see a variety of different stores, though it proves to be quite difficult to keep up with all the different window mannequins and fancy-lettered signs on either side of the walkway. You do, however, take note a few shops such as “Joe’s Doughnuts” where you see a bulky stallion wearing a stained apron and carrying two large sacks of flower over each shoulder. There is also a diner called “Lovestruck Shake Shack” which has a sign tape to one of its windows that reads, “Help Wanted!”

Surprisingly, there is also a movie theatre located at the center of “The Strip.”

The Captain gives the theater a reproachful look as you pass by.

“Uh, not a fan of cinema?” you ask, slightly apprehensive that the topic may annoy the Captain. You’re beginning to think that he may have more in common with Ms. Harshwhinny than you first suspected. Averting your gaze toward a small kiosk, you wait for his reply.

“A dark theatre, no chaperones, seats that are far too close for anypony’s good…” begins the Captain, shaking his head so that his blond mane whips across his neck. “It’s not the films that I… HEY!”

You jump slightly at the Captain’s sudden outburst and spin around to see what the commotion is all about. It seems that another guard has decided to join the Captain’s escort. The black armor chest plate makes it fairly evident that it’s a guard- it also makes it obvious that this guard is a mare.

“If you’re into movies then you shouldn’t mind taking me to a drive-in with that new set of wheels you picked up, Cloud Skipper~” says the newcomer in a sultry voice. She has bright yellow eyes with narrow pupils, a dark blue mane and most peculiar of all, a pair of bat-like wings. She wraps her arms round the Captain pressing into his back. “I saw it outside… Any particular reason why you chose black?” she taunts into his ear, laughing lightly and you notice her teeth are fangs.

“I’m afraid the color was not chosen to suit your preferences, Midnight,” says the Captain as he pulls himself from the mare’s embrace. “Now, I will need you to return my keys, else I won’t be able to continue my tour with the Professor,” he demands holding out a hand for the keys.

“Always the party-pooper,” replies the mare, dangling the keys just out of the Captain’s reach. You then remember just where the Captain had placed the keys before coming into the strip mall. The rather bold mare continues saying, “I’ll give them back if you let me in on this… tour, was it?”

The Captain gives her a stern gaze, but says nothing in reply. What feels like an hour passes before the mare finally gives in.
“Hmph, fine. Take’em,” she mumbles, tossing the keys to the Captain and adding, “Who’s this Professor character, anyway?”

Cloud Skipper points a thumb in your direction. The mare stares at you wide-eyed for a second before crossing her arms and speaking.
“A human, huh?”

“I… guess?” you answer, unable to tell if that was a question or an observation. Either way, you’re a little wary of the crooked smile creeping up the mare’s face. You notice the fangs again. “I, uh…”

“WOW!” the mare exclaims. She closes the gap between you two in the blink of an eye. “I’ve never met a human before! I’ve seen them and stuff, but I never actually talked to one. I’m Midnight Blossom. Are you going to school here? How are you liking Ponyville? Are you going to live on campus? What’s your name… oh yeah, Skips just called you Professor.”

You were not expecting to be greeted with such a barrage of questions.

“Uh, I, hi? And… I am going to school? I guess you could say that… and yeah, I like Ponyville a lot, and umm… wait! Skips?” you ask, giving the Captain a look of both incredulity and of someone who is asking to be saved.

The Captain simply shakes his head and says, “Y’know, if you actually read through the guard reports sometimes you might have a clue as to what’s going on, Midnight.” The mare just turns and sticks her tongue out at him. Sighing, he pulls Midnight back to a bearable distance. “This is Lieutenant Midnight Blossom. She’s the night guard here on campus. And Midnight, this is the Professor. He will be teaching at Amore.”

“Teaching,” Midnight says, her brow rising. “Teaching what?”

“I’ll be teaching Sex Ed” you answer, guessing that she’ll almost certainly refrain from any further friendliness.

“Sex Ed,” she repeats, her eyebrows now in serious danger of disappearing completely in her bangs. A look is exchanged between the two guards, but it’s too quick for you to discern any meaning from it. Smirking, Midnight Blossom says, “Sex Ed, well, that is interesting.”

“You think so?” you ask, taken aback.

She leans forward so that you can stare down her chest armor at her ample cleavage, though whether she did it on purpose is mystery to you.

“Yeah~ Maybe I’ll have to sit in on one of your lessons, Professor,” she adds with a wink. Mystery solved.

A rather audible gulp from you makes her giggle. Out of the corner of your eye you notice the Captain stiffen before pulling Midnight back once again.

“Yes, well, that teaching position is exactly why I’m now giving the Professor a tour of the campus. Now, if you’ll be on your way, Midnight, I have to show him to the Amore complex now and I think we’ve both had enough of your… sillyness,” he says, turning and walking back towards the entrance.

“Great! I’ll help you show him around,” Midnight says enthusiastically, causing Cloud Skipper to roll his eyes and murmur something that sounds like, “...Never listens.” Nevertheless, you- along with Midnight Blossom- follow the Captain back out to the lot where the SUV is parked. “I call shotgun!” she announces as he unlocks the doors.

[br]

The car ride on Amore’s main campus road was much more eventful than the previous trip. Midnight Blossom made sure of that by either teasing the Captain about how there was enough room in the back of the SUV to do almost anything or by asking trivial and somewhat random questions to you about how felt like to be a human living in Equestria. When Midnight Blossom had finally seemed to run out of questions the Captain had announced that they had arrived at the main building of the university.

Now you’re standing beneath the enormous clock tower you’d seen earlier this morning. Craning your neck upwards you can see the giant white face of the clock marked with elegantly written Roaman** numerals. The hour hand is currently pointing at numeral “IV.”

“I was told that your room would be prepared by five o’clock,” says the Captain.

“Great, that gives us an hour to show him around Amore,” Midnight chimes.

“Indeed,” the Captain sneers, then adds, “Shouldn’t you start getting ready for you night shift, Lieutenant Blossom?”

“Psh, I can spare an hour, Captain Cloud Skipper,” she snorts. “C’mon, Professor, I’ll show you to your class room,” Midnight says, grabbing your arm and leading you toward the entrance, but suddenly stops to look back at the Captain. “Where exactly is his room again?”

“Follow me,” the Captain says with a heavy sigh.

The three of you travel down the spacious corridors of the university. There are several covered walkways leading to branch buildings, all of which are lined with the beautiful maroon brick that you’d seen at “The Strip.” Impressive archways mark the entrance to each new room or building. You notice that every arch has a keystone on which is embedded the Royal Equestrian Insignia. Plenty of light reaches the insides of the hallways due to the numerous tall windows placed throughout the school. Every so often there is even a stained-glass window portraying some historical event or figure in Equestrian history. Captain Cloud Skipper shows you to the gymnasium, auditorium, planetarium and every other kind of (insert prefix)-ium Amore University has to offer. At one point, Midnight Blossom tries to show you the inside of the mare’s locker room looks like before the Captain steers you to the section of the complex where your classroom is located.

One distinct difference you notice between the main building and all the other places you’ve been to today is how populated it is with students, most of which are mares. This, of course, makes perfect sense seeing as this is the mare’s campus. Many of them are accompanied by their parents. As your trio makes its way toward your classroom you overhear some of the many conversions happening around you.

“I hope she doesn’t give us loads of homework on the first week,” says one mare to her Pegasus friend.

“I wouldn’t hold your breath,” the Pegasus responds.

A group of Unicorns is gathered around a water fountain all talking animatedly while waving their schedules in each other’s faces.

“Oh! I got Herbology*** too!” says one.

“Yeah, me too! I heard Golden Harvest teaches that. She’s supposed to be really nice,” another one adds.

“I hope she is. What’s this though?” asks a third Unicorn, pointing to her schedule.

“Yeah, Sex Ed. I never heard of it.”

Captain Cloud Skipper moves more quickly than necessary pass that particular group ignoring Midnight Blossom’s stifled laughter. You’re starting to get a pretty good idea of how naive these ponies are when you overhear another group. It’s a mare walking along with her parents.

“I think the student dorms are over this way, dear” says the mother, studying a map of the campus.

“Mom, I know! I already told you that I’m perfectly capable of moving in myself,” replies the daughter in an exasperated tone.

“Yes, yes, we know, darling,” the father says. “I must say though,” he continues, “I sure wish we had a university like this when I was younger… such healthy schoolmares…” The father stares at a passing Earth Pony with particularly perky breasts.

“Ugh, Dad. No. Just no,” says the daughter.

“Well, I just hope you don’t take after your father,” says the mother, shooting the father a disapproving glare. The father blushes slightly and trots along obediently behind his wife. “You just worry about your studies, and don’t think about sneaking off during the night or something of that sort.”

“Pft. I’d like to see her try,” whispers a voice.

You turn to see Midnight Blossom smirking at the group. Apparently, she had also been eavesdropping.

“What do you mean?” you ask, curious.

Midnight opens her mouth to speak, but is cut off by the Captain.

“At night the whole campus is encased in a magical barrier which keeps the student safely inside.”

“Yeah, the only way out is through the main gate,” Midnight adds. “But you’d be mad to try to get by Boulder Stomp without permission.”

The simple mentioning of the brute’s name is enough to send shivers down your spine.

“Yeah, totally insane,” you agree.

You continue down the hallway catching snippets of conversation here and there until finally the Captain points to the last door in the corridor.

“There’s your classroom.”

“A bit out of the way, don’t you…” Midnight begins, but is cut off by the sound of the bell ringing to mark the passage of another hour. “Oh! I just remembered! I have a ton of paper work to sort out before tonight’s shift!”

“I thought you said you could spare an hour,” the Captain reminds her in a disapproving tone, but it falls on deaf ears as Midnight Blossom is all ready sprinting toward the nearest exit.

“I catch you later, Professor, Skips!” she calls as she races out the door. If you had known the Captain a bit better you might have taken this opportunity to taunt him with Midnight’s nickname, but you think better of it.

“She’s always been like that,” the Captain comments, more to himself than you. He shakes his head, but for a split second you think you see his expression soften into a smirk. It vanishes though, before you can be certain. “Well, let’s have a look at your classroom then.”

He opens the door to reveal a decent-sized lecture hall. Rows of desks are stacked in a semicircle on one side of the room. The highest tier is easily fifteen feet from level ground. All the seats face a large mahogany desk at the center of the room. Behind the desk is a blackboard which stretches the entire width of the room. The far wall has long windows with reach from a few feet off the floor to kiss the ceiling. Through the windows you can see Lake Neighage and the distant outline of the stallion’s campus.

You and the Captain pace around the room trying taking it all in. Besides the wall of windows, the others are entirely bare with off-white paint. Perhaps you’d be able to put diagrams and pictures on them to make the room feel more authentic. The Captain opens one of the drawers of the mahogany desk.

“Seems they’ve given you a generous amount of supplies,” he says, pulling out a stack of paper, a box of chalk, and other miscellaneous office supplies. “At least you won’t have to worry about making a trip to “The Strip” tomorrow morning,” the Captain observes, but you’re not listening.

You take one of the pieces of chalk and put it up to the blackboard. Taking care to be extra neat, you meticulously write your name on the board, trying to savor the feeling of the chalk rubbing against the smooth surface. Underneath your name you write, “Class Course: Sexual Education 101.”

“You forgot something,” says the Captain. You turn to him as he grabs the chalk from your fingers. He carefully writes out “Professor” right before your name and sets the chalk down on the silver tray below the board. Smiling, he says, “Welcome to Amore University, Professor.”

“Thank you,” you say, returning the smile.

“You know I…” begins the Captain after a few moments of silence, “I can’t help but feel a little uneasy about having a sexual education course available to these kids. Considering the fact that you’re not even of the same species and also the fact that no good has come from such activities in the past… well, I just don’t know what to think about it.”

Just as you open your mouth to respond a knock comes from outside the door.

“Excuse me!” shouts a voice from beyond the frosted glass window of the door. “Hello! Professor? Is anypony in there?!”

“Mom, shush!” says another voice in a hushed whisper. “How many times have I told not to shout like that? Remember? Use indoor voices when indoors.”

“Sorry, my bad,” answers the first voice, drawing out the last word like child might.

You and the Captain exchange a look before he moves to open the door.

“Yes, hello,” says the Captain as the door swing open. “What is it you… oh… Hello Derpy.”

“Hello Captain!” shouts the loud Pegasus. She holds up her left hand and salutes the Captain.

“Uh, it’s the other hand, Derpy,” says the Captain in a patient tone.

“Sorry, my bad,” says the mare. The way she repeats the phrase makes you think that she has had to use it many times throughout her life. The Pegasus repeats the motion, but with her right hand this time. She giggles at her own silliness before speaking again. “Captain, I’m looking for the Profess…Woah, wait! Are you the Professor, Captain?”

“Ugh, of course he isn’t!”

A younger Unicorn appears from behind the mare, her hand covering her face. Her coat is a light shade of lavender, but there is a clearly defined red spot on her forehead just below her horn. Immediately, you feel a strong sense of sympathy for this stranger.

“The Professor is a human, Mom. Remember what Ms. Harshwhinny told you?” asks the Unicorn.

“That’s right!” exclaims the Pegasus, obviously remembering this crucial bit of information. She turns back to the Captain. “She said we should try looking in this room for him, but it’s only the Captain here.”

You step up beside the Captain in order to make yourself visible to the group. The Pegasus turns to you as you speak.

“The one you’re looking for is…” you begin, but lose your ability to talk as the mare stares at you; at least you think she’s staring at you. “Your ey-AH!”

A hoof comes down on your toes. You shoot the Captain a dirty look, but see him give a nearly imperceptible shake of his head. Looking back at the mare, you see that she still facing you with a smile as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened.

“I…” you continue. “I’m the Professor.”

“You’re the Professor? Wow! A real human!” she bellows. “Dinky! Look! A real human!”

“I can see that, Mom,” says the Unicorn. She turns to look at you and thankfully, she manages to keep eye contact. “Hello, Professor. I’m Dinky Hooves. This is my mother… uh, Derpy” she says, trailing off towards the end.

“Heheh!” giggles Derpy.

“Uh, did I miss something?” you dare to ask.

“Sorry, it’s just when she called you, ‘Professor’, it reminded me of my hus…”

“Mom!”

Derpy looks back at her daughter and asks, “What’s the matter, Dinky?”

“I’d rather you not talk about somepony who’s never around…”

A very long silence passes before the Captain clears his throat.

“So what was it that you needed to see the Professor about?” questions the Captain.

“Ms. Harshwhinny wanted me to deliver this to the Professor,” answers Derpy, presenting a small satchel bag to you and the Captain. “It’s all of your things; your clothes, your toothbrush, your wallet. Basically, all of your nessesames!”

“Ugh, it’s ‘necessities’, Mom,” Dinky corrects. “Look, you delivered the package so I’m gonna head over to my dorm now, okay? I need to finish settling in.” she explains.

“Okay Dinky, but give me a hug before you go!” says Derpy. Dinky gives a quick hug to her mother before giving you and the Captain a quick nod of recognition and hurrying off down the corridor. “I love you, Dinky!” Derpy calls after her daughter. “Don’t forget to write me sometimes… well, I guess you can just make a blank letter and tell me how you’re doing when I come to pick it up!” Derpy’s calls reverberate off the wall of the hallway, but you’re fairly certain that Dinky had all ready rounded the corner before the echoes reached her.

“Oh, I forgot to give her this,” Derpy says, pulling a muffin seemingly out of thin air. She looks up at you. “Do you want it?”

“Uh, sure?” you say, taking the muffin.

“Oh yeah, this is yours as well,” she says, handing the small satchel over.

“You said all of my things are in here?” you ask, completely skeptical that such a light-weight could contain all of your belongings. It doesn’t help know who the delivery was made by.

“Yup! Everything should be in there!” Derpy insists with a happy smile.

“It probably has some spatial deformation spell on it,” confirms the Captain after noticing the disbelieving expression still plastered on your face. “I’m not a Unicorn so I don’t exactly know the specifics, but it should be able to hold all of your things. Open it and see for yourself.”

Doing as the Captain suggested, you flip open the flap at the top and reach into the bag. Your fingers disappear inside the bag… then your whole hand… then your whole arm. You start to feel yourself being sucked in, but luckily, the Captain pulls you out before fall in completely.

“I-I guess you guys weren’t kidding, huh? Thanks, by the way,” you say to the Captain, trying to catch your breath. “And thank you, Derpy, for delivering it to me… uh, are you okay?”

Derpy is staring, mouth agape at the blackboard. Following her gaze, it becomes apparent as to why she’s was acting so strange… well, at least stranger than she was before. Still written neatly on the board are the words, “Class Course: Sexual Education 101.”

“Y-you’re teaching that?!” exclaims Derpy, placing a hand over her mouth in shock. “How c-can you be teaching that to my daughter? H-how are you allowed to teach such a thing. It’ll all go bad again! It’ll…”

“Derpy!” the Captain interrupts, raising his voice so he overpowers the frantic mare’s ramblings. His stern voice immediately becomes softer after Derpy becomes silent. “Yes. The Professor will be teaching sexual education to the students this year. Ms. Harshwhinny as well as the Princess have deemed it necessary to provide the incoming class with knowledge on the subject,” he explained in a level voice, though there was an edge to his voice.

“The Princess?” questions Derpy, still trying to wrap her head around this disquieting information. “Really?”

“Yes, the Princess,” confirms the Captain. “If you have an issue with it, well, you are to take it up with her. I have no say in the matter,” he explains. This time there is a definite bitterness in his tone.

Having read up on sex in Equestrian history only the other night you knew enough to understand both ponies’ reactions to the subject. Their apprehension was not unfounded, but you couldn’t think of anything to assure them about anything one way or the other. Still, you felt a need to justify your position. This was your first teaching job and even though it was in a subject you’d have never pick for yourself, there was a certain pride to the position. It’s time to give an answer to the Captain’s earlier opinion on the matter.

“Listen, both of you,” you begin. Both ponies turn to face you. “I... I know that you have good reason to doubt that this class will help anyone. Given all that’s happen in the past… well, I think I’d probably feel the same if I were in your position, but…” you pause, taking a breath, “I’m not in your position and I think that’s why I was chosen for this. As an outsider, I don’t share you fears.”

“But…” Derpy begins, but you hold up a hand to stop her.

“I can’t promise you that everything will go smoothly. I can’t even promise you that this class will change everpony’s thinking for the better. I can’t promise any of that, but I’m a teacher. And I can promise you, both of you and anyone else who doubts me, I will do everything I can to help these kids understand this part of life. It’s more than my job. It’s my responsibility,” you finish, looking from Derpy to the Captain.

Derpy is the first to speak. She comes up to you, grabbing your hand in hers. For once, both of her eyes are focus on you and both show a look that you didn’t think the mare was capable of giving.

“I think you’ll be a good teacher. If nothing else, I’d rather have you teaching this to my daughter than anypony else,” she says, with a nod.

“Thank you,” you answer with a nod of your own. A long moment passes between the three of you.

“It’s getting late,” the Captain begins, taking note of the reddening skies through the windows. “We should get you to your dorm, Professor.”

[br]

The teachers’ dorms remind you of a two roadside motels separated by a small garden area. There are two levels to each building with a stair case leading up to their second-story walkways. Of course, the buildings are decorated with the recurring red brick exterior as well as a dark maroon Mansard-style roof that sticks out over the sides to act as an awning for the doorways lining the structures. Each door has a golden plaque on it denoting the room’s number. Altogether, there are a total of twenty-four rooms; six to each level.

Together with the Captain, you walk up to the second dorm building. It is only a few yards from Lake Neighage and a large beech tree casts a long shadow on the side of the dorm as the sun sinks lower into the horizon.

“You’re on the second floor, Professor,” the Captain says, pulling a key out of his pocket (not the SUV’s key) and glancing at a small number etched into its handle. The number reads, “206.”

“Hmm,” you answer. Your thoughts are still on the conversation back in your classroom. After the Captain had mentioned that he needed to show you your dorm room, Derpy had said that she had to get back to delivering a few more packages before the day ended. You and the Captain had departed for the dorms without the Pegasus mare.

Thinking of the weight of responsibility that has been placed on you, you don’t even notice as your feet climb the stairs to the second floor. Unfortunately, you also don’t take note of the Captain’s word of caution about the floor being slippery and loose you footing on a small puddle in front of the door marked, “205.” Your hand catches on the guard rail just in time to save you from doing a faceplant.

“I warned you,” says the Captain, giving you a disapproving look.

“Right, sorry,” you respond, staring at the puddle of water. It strikes you as being rather odd that a puddle should be present under the covered walkway and even odder that anything should be wet on such a clear day.

“You coming, Professor,” asks the Captain, snapping you back to reality. He was holding the door to room 206 open, waiting.

“Yeah.”

The inside of the room is about the size of a decent apartment. It has a kitchen with a stove, oven, and refrigerator (ready stocked with milk, cheese, etc.) towards the front hallway. Pass the kitchen is a living room containing a nearly bare bookshelf, comfy looking dark sofa with a matching ottoman, and a glass coffee table at the center. A glass sliding door is positioned on the far side of the living room leading out a small balcony overlooking garden and lake. Because your room was at the very end of the building, the balcony was only a few feet from the beech tree beside the dorms. If you stretched over the side of the iron railing you could just touch the long branches of the tree.

Back inside to the left of the living room was your bedroom. A queen-sized mattress rested atop a rather intricately decorated wood-framed bed. The dark blue sheets and duvet are neatly tucked in, waiting for their master to collapse into their warmth. Beside the bed is a large mahogany bureau hutch which frames a large mirror at the center. The wall space between the bed and bureau is dominated by a quaint window. In the opposite wall there is a closet adjacent to a door leading to the tiled bathroom complete with a toilet and shower.
For a few minutes, the Captain surveys the room making sure you have all the necessary materials to make it for a few days without having to make a trip to “The Strip.” Once he is satisfied with the state of the room he heads over to the coffee table to pick up a manila folder that had been resting on it since you had entered.

He inspects the contents before handing it over to you, saying, “In there is your Equestria Teaching Certificate as well as your Teacher Identification Card. Also, there is a schedule for all your class times this semester.”

You pull out an official looking document, noting the Royal Equestrian Insignia stamped at the bottom with the unmistakable signature of Princess Twilight Sparkle. Next, you pull the schedule out and glance over it before finally fishing out the small plastic ID card.

“Be sure to keep that card on you at all times, Professor,” warns the Captain, not that it is necessary after this morning’s debacle with Boulder Stomp.

“Yeah, I will,” you promise, pocketing the card.

“Good,” the Captain says with a nod. “Well, I suppose that’s all I had to tell and show you for today. I guess I’ll leave you to get ready for you first class tomorrow morning. Here,” he finishes, handing you your room key.

“Thanks for showing me around today, Captain,” you say as he opens the door to the walkway outside.

There is a moment’s pause before he turns to speak.

“What you said back in the classroom… I still don’t think it’s right to be teaching school ponies those kinds of things.”

You don’t say anything, feeling a little crestfallen.

“But,” he continues, causing you to look up. “I think Derpy is right. If anypony should do this, it should be you.”

And before you can respond, the Captain shuts the door and leaves you in the quiet of the dorm room. A few silent moments pass before you smile, shaking your head.

“Thanks, Captain.”

Author's Note

Author’s Note
*L.A.C. stands for Lunarem Annum Carceres which basically translates to “in the year of lunar imprisonment”
**Roaman- the Equestrian equivalent of Roman.
***Herbology- study of magical and mundane plants and fungi. (Yes, I did steal this from J.K. Rowling )