It was an agreeable morning of the twenty-seventh day of Spring that I received a rather curious letter. At the time, I was furrowing the earth just north of the Sweet Apple Acres farmhouse, as the venerable trees there were no more, and new trees needed to be planted.
My sibling came that morning and informed that there was a letter addressed to me. I quickly finished my work and arrived at the farmhouse to read it. The letter was written in a curious script that, initially, I was unable to read. With the assistance of a nearby unicorn acquaintance I soon worked my eyes around it, but it was a curious and strange thing to survey. The letter reads as follows.
The stallion hereby named 'Big Macintosh' is invited for a formal dinner at the castle of Count Dracula von Poni, who takes his residence in Transilponia beyond the Everfree Forest.
He is to bring on his journey no garlic, crucifixes, holy water, wooden stakes, mirrors or silvered swords.
Nor is he to look up in a dictionary the definition of the word 'vampire'.
Curious indeed, but I collected my manners and immediately started packing. A sibling by the name of Applebloom politely informed me in no uncertain terms that the letter's advice was questionable, and implored me to at the very least research the word 'vampire'. I told her that it would be terribly rude to do so, and promptly prepared my goodbyes, delivered them to the appropriate ponies, and was on my way.
It took the better part of a day to pack the items necessary for the journey, and it was late afternoon by the time I was walking away from the Apple homestead. Applebloom had by then left in order to playfully conspire with two of her companions on the subject of Cutie Marks.
It was near nightfall as I reached the borders of the ever-present Everfree Forest. I was barely within when I heard a rather loud and disconcerting squawk. I turned to face the source of the noise, which to my horror was a cockatrice! It seemed to be fleeing, though I kept my distance all the same. Looking around I spotted an amiable yellow pegasus, a well known friend to my sister, escorting none other than Applebloom and her two compatriots. I did not strike up conversation as it seemed that they were leaving, and I had no wish to stall them. It is unwise to linger for the sake of idle chitchat in this particular locale.
Making my way through the forest I was disturbed by a large bat shrieking overhead. Normally I would pay such creatures no mind; however it was most unnerving that the normally silent nocturnal critter would display behaviour more fitting for a banshee. The flying animal followed me for a short while, and then seemed to depart. I knew it still followed me however, for I could hear its wingbeats, which were also unusually large for a bat, sounding overhead.
It did not leave me until I entered into what was most certainly Transilponia, the trees of the forest opening out into highlands and the Count's castle looming in the distance. The sun was rising in the distance and shone its light out across the hills. It took me the better part of the afternoon to traverse the land, arriving at a small battered signpost. It informed me that there were but two destinations from this point, and indeed two paths snaked out among the hills.
The first was described as Clopstanta, which could be seen out in the distance. It looked to be a small community, as I could barely make it out even in the light of day. The small wooden houses were overshadowed by the castle, the second destination inscribed on the wood.
I arrived at the castle just as the sun dissappeared behind the hills and was greeted at the door by an elderly pony, whose appearance was highly discomforting. The hunchbacked pony introduced himself as Igor, and told me that I had arrived a day early, and that the dinner had not been prepared.
He asked me if this was acceptable and I replied with a polite 'eeyup'. He mentioned that a light dinner was prepared and that I was still welcome to join the Count that evening. When I gave an identical response he continued speaking.
"Count Dracula insists on putting a cape on." He said, his voice causing shivers to appear and have a race to the bottom of my spine in the most unpleasant way. When I asked him what capes tasted like, he gave his answer in an annoyed tone.
"No, my master Count Dracula insists that his guests put a cape on for dinner."
When I arrived at the dinner hall I was able to observe my host, whose complexion was rather too pale for my personal tastes. His cutie mark was a red teardrop, though I was only able to glimpse it briefly before the Count hid it with his cape. He seemed to be unhappy with me for seeing it, and so I forgot the matter in order to greet the preferences of my host and then him.
During the dinner the Count ate very little, instead taking large draughts from a cup filled with a viscous red liquid. An identical cup was situated next to me, though I found the aroma of what appeared to be wine unpleasant, so I dismissed it.
After the dinner, Igor showed me to my bedroom, which was vast and sparsely lit. He informed me that the Count will not be joining me tomorrow; instead he would be active through the night with various duties and would sleep through the daylight hours.
My sleep that night was restless, and filled with strange and haunting dreams of a most unpleasant sort. I awoke early, made by beddings, sat on them and then came down for breakfast. As Igor had informed me the Count was not there, so I whittled away the time in the Library. The same unicorn that had assisted me with the letter had also advised me to peruse a certain astronomical book.
That afternoon a solar eclipse would occur, which was a sign of the companionship shared by the two Royal Princesses. I was watching through the library window as the moon slid slowly across the surface of the sun, plunging the land into a beautiful yet eerie darkness. I heard something behind me and turned to face the Count, who seemed to have two apple stems protruding from his mouth.
I greeted him, informing my host that I had not expected him till evening. I asked him if he was here, as I was, to enjoy the solar eclipse.
"Solar eclipse?" He asked morosely, "Oh shit."
I inquired if anything was wrong, but he rudely cut me off.
"How long is it going to last?" He asked me, fear creeping into his voice.
I replied that it was just ending now, and turned back towards the window to witness the moon move away from the sun in an elegant display of beauty, light flooding the room through the windows once more.
As I commented on the extraordinary artistry of the solar eclipse I turned to face the Count again, intending to continue the conversation. The Count was nowhere to be seen.
He must have left in a terrible hurry, leaving his cape behind. In his haste, he must have disturbed some kind of ashtray, as the powdery grey substance littered the floor where he stood.
I never saw him again.
When I finally returned to the Apple homestead Applebloom questioned me nearly to the point of interrogation, before rudely leaping onto my neck. Apparently she was checking for bite marks, but I allayed her worries by assuring her that no biting had occurred on my person for the entirety of the trip.
Her strange behaviour continued for another two days, culminating in some manner of surprise celebration featuring a garishly dressed pink pony with cotton candy hair holding a disco ball aloft in the barn while Applebloom and her two comrades held large mirrors in front of me. Finally Applebloom calmed down as I enjoyed the festivities that the excitable pony, yet another acquaintance of mine, had organised.
