FLUTTERSHY Unit R&D N00B

by PKSlider725

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Random
Length: 716

The new guy on the R&D Team finally receives his "secret project"...

Based on Timpeni's "FLUTTERSHY User Guide and Manual"
When Slider signed up for researching a new product from Hasbro, Inc., a pony was the LAST thing he would've expected…

Cover image made photo-shopping a Fluttershy image by mysticalpha on Deviantart.com into a wooden crate… (very crappy photoshopping…) I also have NO IDEA how to label this… Just writing what I feel, and I can't very well classify my feelings…

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-02-28 00:24:52 UTC

Fluttershy R&D N00B Ch. 1

As Slider entered the kitchen, he decided to skip breakfast and get straight to collecting the mail. “I wonder when they’re gonna send that ‘secret project’ to me…" He opened the front door and saw a large box on his doorstep.  “Hmm? Is this it? There’s a note on top of it…” He picks up the note, which reads: ‘Dear Slider, This is the project you will be researching. Take frequent notes, for we will use them to compose the user guide and manual. Good luck.’ "Doesn’t have the return address on it THIS time, either…" He muttered. "...Just Cloudsdale, Equestria… What’s THAT supposed to mean…? Whatever…”

Slider was drafted a little over a month ago by an anonymous company to take on a mysterious assignment. Since they offered him a large amount of money, he couldn’t possibly refuse; he was tight on cash, having just moved out of his parents’ house.

Slider hauls the box into the house. “Damn, it’s like there’s a HORSE in here…” He then proceeds to open the box with a crowbar. “Come on, dammit! OPEN!!!” He then pries open the box, falling backwards. “Ow…” He picks himself up and rubs his side. “Note to self: apply padding to the floor…” He then looks over at the open box. “Hey, something’s moving in there... Is that… a pony?”

A yellow pegasus pony with long, pink hair sits in fetal position at the back of the box. “AW, IT’S SO CUTE!!!” Slider exclaims. The pony flinches. “Oh, too loud…" He whispers to himself. "...Idiot…” DING DONG! “Oh, what NOW?" He shouts.

When Slider answers the door, he notices two more smaller boxes on the front porch. “Where’d these come from? Guess the mailman forgot them the first time around.” He carries the smaller boxes into the house.

“These ones seem a bit easier.” Slider then breaks out his crowbar again and opens the other two boxes. A little rabbit jumps out of one box, and an assortment of 10 other animals emerge from the other. “Little animals?" Slider asks. "I’m pretty sure this is considered cruelty, and I know an attorney that will GLADLY take the case…”

However, upon closer inspection, he notices that the animals are neither depressed nor starving. “Maybe no lawsuit..." He decides. "...But what am I to DO with them…?”

At that moment, Slider’s arch-nemesis, Gerald, walks in. “Hey, weenie," He says upon entering. "Where’d all these fucking animals come from?” He then kicks the rabbit.

At this point, the pony’s eyes turn deep red. “Why can’t you be a bit more GENTLE, Gerald?” Slider asks.

The pony emerges from the box.

“Why can’t the moon rise in the middle of the day?" Gerald replies. "It’s nature, dumbass! HAHAHAHAHA!!!”

“How dare you…” The pony mutters.

“Huh? What?”Gerald says, looking over at the pony. “Did that fucking thing just TALK?”

“Uh… I don’t know," Slider replies,"but I’m a little nervous… She seems mad…”

“What’s wrong, Pony?" Gerald inquires. "On your period?”

about a half a minute later, Gerald is face-first on the ground and covered in bruises. He gets up. “OW… That fucking HUUUUURRRTTT…” Gerald walks over to the stairwell, popping his back. “Ow… You keep that damn thing away from me…”

“Serves you right for kicking that rabbit, Gerald!”

“WhatEVER… I’m going to go sleep…” Gerald gestures at his body. “…THIS off…” Gerald then proceeds up the stairs.

“Of all the people who could've rented this apartment with me..." Slider mumbles under his breath. He looks over at the pony, who is now cradling the rabbit in her arms. “Is he okay?” He asks.

The pony looks over and squeals, retreating to her box. Slider sighs. “How do I do this…?” He asks. He looks inside the crate once more and notices a little green dress.

“Oh!” Slider exclaims, removing the dress from inside the crate and holding it out in front of him. “PRETTY!” He then looks back inside the box. “Is this YOUR dress?” He shows the dress to the pony. She responds with a nod. “I bet you’d look BEAUTIFUL in it!” Slider exclaims. The pony begins to blush, retreating deeper into the box. “What? That didn’t work…?” DING DONG!

"AGAIN...?" Slider huffed as he went to answer the door.