It's late at night, and you're almost ready to go to bed. Teeth brushed, nothing but boxers on, and you just took a piss. You're almost set to be off to the beautiful world of slumberland. The only thing that stands in your way between you and your bed is your massive erection. Well, it was that time of day, err... night, again, it seemed. Time for you to browse some good 'ol fashion porn.
You return to your computer and type in your favorite video website when it comes to smackin' the whack. Which fetish shall you use to fulfill your fantasies this time? Asian girls with extra large breasts? No. You're not feeling that kinky. Maybe next time. Instead you settle for a nice little striptease.
Before you can get lost in the wonderful world of smut, you're interrupted by a skype message from one of your friends. “Hey, what's up?” he asked. It was one of your friends who recently became a brony. You shudder at the thought of it. What kind of sick bastard would like that girly horse shit? You're certainly not in the mood to talk to him right now. Not wanting to be disturbed further, you log off of skype. You can deal with him later.
You are now free to watch the striptease without any worries. The woman in the video starts doing a slightly sexy dance, but you can only bite on your lip, waiting for the good stuff. Alas, she finally takes off her shirt to reveal her bra. She throws it away and continues dancing. Now that you have a good look at her jugs, you're feeling more ready. She continues as she rids of her pants, now only in her underwear and bra. You continue to stroke your area to the beat of the music. Yes, it is almost time.
As she begins to take off her bra, you notice a strange blue shadow on your wall. It seems to be moving in waves and seems to have parts glowing like stars in the sky. You turn around to face your window, in which you see a blue equine giving off a strong glow. She, you assume it's a she, is only staring at you with a state of intrigue. The only thing you can do is mutter the words “What the actual fuck.” You would have been louder, but it was late at night and you didn't want to wake your parents.
She also notices the fact the you spotted her, but doesn't seem to be stunned by the fact that you were in the process of jacking off. In fact, if you didn't know any better, you would've thought she was enjoying it. She simply giggles and smiles at you, then offers a wave with one of her hooves.
Okay, you're not in the mood to get frisky anymore. You almost gag by the fact that a pony from a little girl's television show was watching you... masturbate. You close out the video and shut your computer off, then turn back to the window. The pony is no longer there. Maybe you imagined it? Oh god, that's even worse. That would mean that you might possibly grow for an infatuation for ponies... and liking the show was bad enough. Your friend must be leaving his nasty brony stench off of you.
You decide to hold off the masturbation until tomorrow. You need a damn good night's sleep after that spectacle.
It's the next day, and thanks to your lack of attaining to your needs, you're hornier than usual. You can't even wait until your usual time to get off. You check to make sure nobody's around, then look through the window where you saw (or thought you saw) the dark blue pony. No such equine is there. Time to get your mind off of that and onto more perverted subjects. You're alone enough, so it's time for you to get back into the routine again.
You're not feeling it for videos this time, so you look up a nice erotic story with lesbians. Your goal is to have a little bit of fun, but mostly get off in a quick manner to ensure you aren't noticed. The writing starts to get you hot as you read across the lines. You imagine in your brain two models with realistic personalities you can relate to. Oh yeah, did you mention they were lesbians? The more the merrier, and you begin to feel more satisfied by the second. You almost reach your peak when you hear a familiar giggle outside the window.
You turn away and see that freaking horse girl again. She smiles at you, while you frown back at her. You put your hand on your face and slide it downwards. Then you look at your crotch and notice it's in the process of deflating faster than a soccer ball pierced by a nail. You are slightly embarrassed, but mostly upset. Is this pony a new security system against your porn browsing? If it is, it sure as hell is working.
Yet, the pony doesn't seem to care of your shame. She smiles even wider, this time exposing her teeth, as well as offering another wave. You close out the tab of porn and open skype. It loads for a bit, and while doing so you turn to your window once again. She's gone.
Fuck it. You're gonna message your brony friend asking if he did something to your window. He's online.
“hey,” you message him.
He responds after about fifteen seconds of waiting from you.
“What's up?” he asks once again.
“dude are you fucking with me atm,” you confront him.
“What are you talking about?” he questions.
“i don't know if i went batshit insane or whatever but i saw a fucking pony outside my window”
“...a horse?”
“no fag it was one of your pussy ass my little pony characters”
“You don't have to be so rude about it. If you don't like it that's fine but don't insult me over it.”
You'd insist further but you don't have time for him to get mad at you. “alright fine. but srsly i saw a fucking pony outside the window the past two days.”
“Lmao. Dude you really should get your eyes checked or something.”
“its not a coincidence tho. i was,” you almost enter, then hesitate to continue. Do you really want to talk about masturbating with your friend? Nah, not worth it.
“yea i guess so. i'll go check a doctor or something soon.”
“Good luck with that, man.”
You log off of skype as you finish your conversation. You turn back to the window. Still no pony. Weird. Still, you don't feel comfortable getting off at the moment. You hate to admit it, but this just made you a little touchy. It's not close enough of a time for you to go to bed, so you check to see what's on TV instead. Maybe that can get your mind off this issue.
Day three approaches. You've gone two full days without masturbating. You're horny as fuck, literally. The sun is still up now. Maybe the pony just arrives during the night, or preferably, you were just seeing things? Still, you decide to take advantage of this opportunity of alone time. You check the windows... all clear. Still, you want to be on the safe side. You decide to choose a different location to masturbate. You grab your phone and walk down the hall to the bathroom. There's also toilet paper here, so that's convenient.
You open the web browser on your phone. It seems to get the job done pretty well. You want to get off much quicker, as your sex drive can't take it much longer. You open your favorite video website once again and search up the first thing that comes to your mind, “hot chicks xxx.”
You open up the first video you see and begin watching. The girls are kinda hot and the video's in poor quality. It doesn't bother you that much, however, since it'll get the job done. Just thinking about how horny you've become has gotten you started, so it shouldn't take much for you to get finished.
Too bad you saw up in the bathroom window that pony again. Jesus, what's her deal? Does she really enjoy to see you getting off that much? So much for her only showing up during the night. Your boner begins to deplete and you just leave the bathroom without another thought. Your mind is too clouded with anger to really think of proper sentences anyway.
You head back to your room because you don't even care. You just want to get the job done. Once again, the pony is staring through your window as if it's no big deal. Damn, she's fast... or are there more than one of her? Either way, you decide you've had enough of this. You take drastic measures and head inside of your closet, taking your phone with you.
You continue to watch the video when you notice her shadow underneath your door. Fuck, she got in. You've had enough. You set down the phone and decide you're gonna confront this prissy ass pony once and for all. You open your closet door, facing the pony in your room directly.
She's actually a lot taller than you imagined. On all four hooves, she's slightly taller than you are. Her mane was also glowing quite a bit brighter than when you saw her outside. It's quite amazing, now that you think about it, how it also moves in that wavy fashion. You wonder if- no, this isn't the right time. You're supposed to be confronting her.
You stand up to her and raise a finger, trying to figure out what to say.
“Who are you and what are you doing watching me?” you ask. You're not even sure if she can talk, but she can do a lot of things normal ponies can't, so you might as well assume she has vocal chords.
“Our name is Princess Luna. Charmed to meet thyself.” She reaches out a hoof and you regrettably shake it. “We have been most intrigued by thee. We wanted to learn from thy practices and customs, but we could never figure out the purpose of thy ritual.”
“Ritual? The fuck? You mean you don't know what masturbation is?”
She merely shakes her head. Huh, so she just wanted to learn how it worked. You almost forgot that this is still pretty fucking weird since she's from a little girl's TV show!
“Why would you even want to learn about masturbation? Aren't you supposed to be all innocent and fine and dandy?” you remark.
Her smile that she's had this whole time finally fades. Strangely, you begin to miss it.
“Art thou trying to belittle us?” she angrily asks.
You grind your teeth a bit, nervously, before answering. “Not really, I just don't know about where you came from and thought you wouldn't want to partake in... such activities.”
“Why wouldn't we?”
“Well, it's not exactly the most politically correct practice. You're a princess, right? Here a princess wouldn't dare be caught doing anything remotely like this without scandals everywhere.”
“Well, we are not a princess here. Would it be so much of a bother if we participate in this ‘masturbation’ when nopony is around to see us?”
Nopony? Is that a thing? Oh lord... She's really insistent on watching you masturbate... plus finally hearing her voice is beginning to make you horny again. God, this would be so much easier if she was a human.
She smiles once again, hoping you'll allow her to watch you masturbate, which you've been trying to accomplish for the past three days.
“Fuck it,” you state. “You can watch. At least now you won't prevent me from jacking off.”
She squeals a bit before recomposing herself. “Fantastic! We shall take a seat on your furniture, if thou won't mind. It seems to be raining outside, now.”
You want to tell her to go back outside, but you noticed a recent downpour occurring. She also found a comfy spot on your bed, and it looks like she's quite snug.
“Let's get this shit over with,” you mutter to yourself.
You pull up a favorite video of yours. With lesbians. You begin to stroke your cock and you watch them go at it. Then you are once again interrupted by the sound of Luna's voice.
“Why are they rubbing that area?” she asks, almost innocently.
“It's called a pussy, cunt, or vagina. They use it to get off like I use my dick. Any more questions?”
“...can I try?” she asks.
You pause the video and turn around. You're afraid to ask, but decide to anyway.
“Try what?” you finally ask.
“This... 'getting off' process.” she continued.
“If you have a vagina, yes. Just imitate what they do except do it to yourself. Any other questions?”
“No.”
“Good. Then leave me be and let me masturbate. Because of you, I couldn't do so for the past few days.”
She acknowledges this and lets you continue. You begin to feel aroused once again, and apparently Luna does too. You can hear her moan behind you, but you don't even give a shit anymore. In fact, her voice almost adds a level of hotness to the picture. If your brony friend was in this position, you'd be sure he'd be having a grand 'ol time. Heck, you don't even mind it yourself.
Eventually you finally hit the point you've been looking for after all this tension and climax. Luna apparently did so as well, as you could hear her moaning peak followed by massive silence. You hate to admit it, but that was a damn good orgasm. Might've had something to do with the fact that you were hornier than usual due to your lack of splooging.
“Well Luna, are you satisfied?” you ask as you turn around. You notice, however, that she is no longer on your bed, in your room, or even outside of your window. You wonder if she'll return, and then you notice she left a little present on top of your bed.
“Shit,” you mutter. “You figure a princess would know to clean up after herself.”
Looks like you'll have to use that toilet paper afterall.
Author's Note
Sorry if you were looking for actual clop! Hehe, I'm not quite skilled in that area. This was really fun to write, however. I haven't written a one-shot in a while and I love writing comedies. If you feel like commenting or criticizing please feel free! I'd appreciate anything.
Don't know when I'll release another story, so I hope this one satisfies you guys for a bit.
