A Better Boulder

by Compendium of Steve

Rating: everyone
Tags: Spike, Comedy, Rarity, Random, Derpy Hooves, Crossover, Twilight Sparkle, Opalescence, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Romance
Length: 1475

After Discord's defeat, Rarity finds her life unfulfilling. Perhaps she needs something rock-solid?

After the defeat of Discord, Rarity finds herself unfulfilled by her daily routine. What is it that's missing from her life: Passion? Excitement? Or perhaps, something more rock-solid?

Made in dedication of MLP:FiM's one year anniversary. (WARNING: Contains some amounts of Con-Air and Homestuck, and excessive amounts of stupid)

Published 2011-10-08 21:09:41 UTC
Last updated 2011-10-08 22:22:21 UTC

A Rock like No Other

A Better Boulder

It seemed like a typical day at the Carousel Boutique, but alas its sole proprietor was feeling anything but typical. Lately Rarity had been feeling listless instead of her usual cheery busybody self, and today was no exception. Looking down at the unfinished mesh of fabric that was her latest dress order the purple-maned unicorn gave a woeful sigh.

“Oh Opalescence, I simply have no idea where all my energy has gone,” she lamented to her pampered feline companion, who only meowed with snobby disinterest as its master continued.

“Ever since Discord was done away I just haven’t been in the mood to make dresses. It’s all become, dare I say, dull, since that day. Oh what I would give to reclaim the spark that left me that day.”

Just then a section of the boutique’s wall burst inward, sending Opalescence flying, among other things. From the newly formed hole rolled in a familiarly rough-chiseled frame that Rarity knew all too well.

And then two rogues, one wielding a sword, flew into the boutique and scrapped on the ground, until the one wearing a blue shirt and cape got kicked away by the one in the sharp suit. Brandishing his sword, he lunged forward to skewer his bald adversary, who squirmed about to avoid two piercings. Springing up onto his feet, he got around the gray homewrecker and, just as the purple swordsman chased after him, he kicked the boulder at him, knocking him at an angle that sent him flying in an arc outside the boutique, with the caped rock-kicker in pursuit.

Rarity was oblivious to all this strife, for she was still completely stunned by the appearance of the boulder in question. —>

“Tom!” she exclaimed.

“That’s right baby darlin’. I’ve come back for ya,” the rock replied in a burly yet gentle drawl.

“You just blew a hole in my house! That’s no proper way to make an entrance,” Rarity scolded the rock with vexation.

“I’m sorry. I’m still a little rough, but I’m tryin’ to change, I swear,” Tom apologized.

“Why have you come back anyway? We are through in case you’ve forgotten,” Rarity said rather coldly, perhaps even stone-coldly.

“It’s because I can’t stop thinkin’ about you, Rarity. I just wanted to see you again, and maybe have you hear me out.”

“Well, it’s understandable that you’d want to take a gander at my beauty, but so do many other gentlecolts, so the idolizing glances of a rock is nothing unique to me, nor in any way a proper excuse for massive property damage.”

“You don’t understand,” Tom said. “I didn’t come just to get a look at you, breathtaking as you are. I wanted to… get some things off my chest, as it were.”

“What do you mean by that?” Rarity asked intrigued.

“I’ll be clear: I have feelins for ya Rarity. Ever since that day you kicked me out I just couldn’t sit around and gather moss like any old geological formation. And after all the time we spent together, I’m unwillin’ to believe you haven’t been feelin’ the same.”

The bold statement caught Rarity offguard, but the unicorn seamstress composed herself as best she could for her next statement.

“Tom, you have to understand. I wasn’t thinking clearly back then; Discord made you look like something else. I was foal-ish, and I apologize for leading you on like that-“

“There was more to it than that!” Tom interrupted boldly. “Goddesses, I’m just findin’ it so hard to express myself. I’m so stiff and coarse, it’s irritating!”

Tom bowled over one of the few intact model ponnequins in frustration. The raw outburst of rock emotion left Rartiy feeling bothered as well as allured. Never had she before witnessed such rock-solid openness from one so bulky and inanimate. In the face of the burly and expressive specimen of stone the unicorn’s heart was hopelessly aflutter.

“I’m sorry,” he apologized sweetly. “I wanted to smooth out my edges before comin’ here. I probably wouldn’t have made as much a mess if I had.”

“No, it’s quite alright,” Rarity assured him softly. “I guess it’s in a boulder’s nature to smash through things without control.”

“But that’s what I’m tryin’ to fix. I want to be a changed rock, for you, my Peacock.”

Rarity blushed and looked away from the flattery nickname, mostly due to the feelings swelling up inside of her.

“Tom, I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t thought of us being together,” she replied honestly. “You were rough, but you were also firm, and a steadfast companion when I was alone. But the fact of the matter is it can never happen between us, Tom. I’m a unicorn, and you’re a rock. I’m flesh and blood… and you’re a rock.”

“We can make it happen somehow, darlin’. I know deep down inside of me that I’m not the only one that wants us to be together. I just feel like the entire world, all the universe and beyond wants it to happen.”

*SOULFUL BACKGROUND MUSIC TIME, YO*

Rarity was speechless before the soft-spoken hunk of a rock.

“Rarity, I’ve seen and done terrible things in my life. But being with you makes me want to be a Better Boulder. You’re the only one who showed me compassion, and as pitiful as it sounds, all that misguided attention gave me the most meaning out of my entire life. You also gave me a name for peat’s sake, and that in itself made me want to redo everything, to make myself more than some nameless brutish rock. All I’m askin’ is that you give us a chance. To see if those feelins of yours were indeed an illusion.”

The unicorn looked perplexed and hesitant to give a response, mostly from the slurry of confused emotions and thoughts that had been steadily filling her since the boulder began his speech. But as she was about to see, Tom had one other thing to lay bare before her.

“I got a present for ya Rarity. It’s a little dirty…”

Upon seeing Tom’s gift, Rarity let out a heartfelt gasp.

“Tom, is this…?”

“Yes, Peacock. It’s one of the diamonds that was embedded in the slab where you found me. I happened to find out it was your birthday today, so I figure, along with it bein’ symbolic, it could also-“

“You’re right, it is my birthday!” Rarity interrupted in surprise. “I’ve been so down lately I completely forgot, but you… You really care about me. Even after I threw you out, even after all my attempts to blot you from my memory, you still want to be with me. To support me. To love me…”

“Rarity, until now you had been the one to carry me. This time around, it’ll be my turn to carry you.”

“Oh Tom!”

Rarity gave in to her overwhelming emotions and threw herself onto the rough-edged boulder with a heart of gold. Without another word, Tom rolled toward the door carrying his beloved, and upon opening it they were met with the applause of all of Ponyville. The happy couple made their way through the massive crowd as praise and good wishes were shouted at them.

“You get him Rarity!” cheered Pinkie Pie.

“Congratulations!” Twilight Sparkle said vigorously with applause.

“Congratulations,” said Fluttershy, not as vigorously, but with just as much applause.

“Congratulations!” said Rainbow Dash likewise.

“Congratualtions, yall!” joined Applejack.

“Congratulations,” Cherilee said as well.

“Congratulations,” ditto from Asuka.

“Hoo Hoo!!” hooted Owlowiscious in the same manner as the previous six.

“You can doo eet!” encouraged the ever-lovable Derpy Hooves.

“They’re totally gonna make it hapen, in the most awesome way possible!” commented an unassuming black-haired goofy-faced pony wearing glasses and a stylish blue hoodie.

“You better treat her right, or I’m coming after you!” shouted a heartbroken but supportive Spike, tears streaming down his smiling dragon face.

From the sidelines, pony John Cusack looked on and smiled in silent approval as Tom and Rarity made it out of the sea of goodwill and tolerance. Awaiting them were Princesses Celestia and Luna with a magical chariot, upon which the couple took their places and were lifted off to a distant land of unending love and spiritual fulfillment that could only come from the pairing of a boulder and a unicorn.

So it was that Tom, the street tough mave-rock with nothing to lose, and Rarity, the unicorn diamond in the rough, formed an unshakeable union that reverberated through the land, showing all things, living or not, the irrepressible power of true love. And it was a love that would last indefinitely and forever in Equestria… until the end of time.

Happy One Year Anniversary, Generation 4 MLP! Here’s to another season of potentially bizarre shipping possibilities!