My better life

by Sharky White

Rating: mature
Tags: Spike, Comedy, Adventure, Discord, Sex, Human, Main 6, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Romance, Original Character
Length: 366505

Meet Sharky White. A man living in a world that has no meaning for him anymore.

Meet Sharky White, a man living in a world that has lost all meaning for him. After flying to Italy to suprise his girlfriend, he comes to her hotel and finds her with another man. Depressed, with a diamond ring in pocket, he then goes to the airport and recieves 3 consecutive calls, each bearing increasingly terrible news. Planning his own death, he boards his flight back to the U.S. but ends up somewhere totally different...

NOTE: Yeah, some of the beginning is still really poorly written. I mean technically the whole thing is, but those moreso than others. I'll be slowly editing from the start while I write forward, and edited chapters will be marked with a '*'. That way you new guys know why one chapter is less crappy than the one after.

Published 2012-02-27 06:54:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-05-01 21:18:07 UTC

Waking in a New World

I woke up again a bit later, in a bit less pain than the last few seconds I could remember. I could move, albeit with some degree of pain, so I looked down at myself to see the extent of my injuries. To my surprise I was nearly covered in bandages. The parts of myself I could see seemed to have healed, even my burns had shiny new skin grown over them. I had to have been out for a while. I took an idle look around after inspecting myself and saw that I was clearly not in the same place I had been before. It was pretty obvious that I was in some sort of hospital, or at least what looked like one. Everything was bright white and spotless; the kind of hygiene and design one would expect for a hospital. Except everything seemed really... small. I wasn't even laying down on a normal cot, I was laying down on two tiny cots pushed together. There was even a line of small chairs along one of the walls.

For visitors I suppose I thought to myself, If only there were anyone left to visit m.... I stopped at the end of my thought as my gaze settled on the chair closest to my joined cots. In the chair nearest to me, the last one I had looked at, there was a sleeping lavender horse. The same one from earlier. I couldn't help it, it was just too weird. I screamed.

"WAAAAGGGH!!!" The little horse woke with a start and screamed right back.

"AHHHHHHHHH!!!"

"WAAAAGGGH!!!"

"AHHHHHHHHH!!!"

"WAAAAGGG..." I paused my scream to let out a few ragged coughs. "...ehm." after I finished screaming, I stared blankly at the little purple horse as she finished her screaming.

"AHHHHHhhhhh....." she slowly stopped as she realized I wasn't screaming anymore. Then she looked right at me and noticed my blank expression. "Why did you scream like that?" she asked, "You scared me half to death!"

"Y....y...you're a...a...talking horse..." I stuttered out dumbly. Her immediate response was to glare at me.

"Pony." she corrected forcefully. I gave a small nod, my mouth hanging open. She held my stare for a little while then looked away, clearly feeling a bit awkward about my unbroken eye contact. "Now that we've established the obvious, what in the name of Celestia are you?" she asked while pointing a hoof at me.

"Shocked beyond belief." I retorted. Glad to see my smart ass wasn't broken. She rolled her eyes.

"Fine, don't tell me." She snapped with a noticeably irritated tone. She hopped down from her chair and started to leave in a huff. When she turned around, suddenly everything clicked into place. I knew without a doubt where I was and exactly who I was pissing off.

"Oh wait! I'm sorry!" I practically screamed. The pony jumped and turned around in the same motion like only cartoon characters can do. I took a deep breath and tried to calm down despite the whirlwind of new questions whipping around my mind. "I'm called a human where I come from."

"Ooooh" said the pony, looking very interested suddenly. "Where are you from?" she asked quickly.

"Earth." I replied cooperatively. Then I freaked out a little and scooted back in my cots, pressing my back against the wall. "Wait...WHEREAMIWHATSGOINGONWHOAREYOUHOWDIDIGETHERE?!?!?" I shouted in a rush, completely forgetting the answers to the questions I already knew.

"Ummm... In order, The hospital, you are healing, Twilight Sparkle, nice to meet you, and I carried you." she replied.

"I'm like 3 times your size how did you carry me?" I asked, holding onto the one answer that made the most sense, minus the hospital and healing ones.

"Magic, duh." she snorted as her horn, which I was just now noticing, glowed and I felt myself float about an inch off the mattresses.

"Magic..." I breathed out the words gently as the torrent of questions filling my mind only grew..

"Eeyup!" she said proudly. I fainted again as I lost the capability to even think clearly.

I was woken when a bucketful of water hit me in the face.

"I'MAWAKEDON'THURTME!" I yelled in a half-asleep jumble. When I regained my senses I glared at the lavender pony magically levitating a now empty bucket. "Why did you do that?!" I yelled. She looked shocked. Her ears dropped back and her eyes started watering.

"I just wanted to keep talking..." She mumbled. I immediately felt sorry.

Annnnnd cue feeling like a dick. I thought to myself. "Oh no no no, don't cry... I'm sorry... I like talking to you too." I apologized and wanted to reach over and pat her head, but felt like it wasn't a good idea. "What else do you wanna talk about?" I asked.

"What was it that made you so hurt when I brought you here?" She asked with tears still in her voice. I froze. How am I supposed to explain planes and bombs to a creature from a world of friendship. I decided to avoid it and turn this around on her.

"Well..." I said, pretending I was going to answer her. Then I faked a look of shock and yelled, "Wait! You brought me here?!" Her cheeks turned red through her purple coat. Once again, a random part of my mind drifted off into a realm of irrelevance and noticed that the red didn't blend with her fur, but rather stood out. I shook my head clear as she looked at her hooves. She then mumbled unintelligibly

"iwjsprctsvehd....." I didn't understand a word.

"I didn't understand a word of that." I informed her.

"I was practicing a new spell and messed up!" she confessed rather loudly. Which reminds me, there's been a lot of yelling... Why hasn't anyone run in yet?

"What was the spell supposed to do?" I asked. "and on a side note, why hasn't anyone run in to investigate the yelling yet?" She turned about five shades redder and gave an odd laugh.

"ah ha ha ha ah....Ummm all the staff are scared of you. That's why nopony is here..." She replied, very obviously dodging my first question. I decided to ignore the dodge for now. I figured the reason everypony was afraid was obvious, they've never seen a human after all. Then something occurred to me.

"Why aren't you afraid of me?" I wondered out loud. Her blush faded and she looked right at me.

"My spell was active long enough that I saw you stand and rush towards whatever caused you all that damage. I saw the look on your face, you were trying to save the other...humans is it? From whatever hurt you. Anypony with that kind of selflessness can't be bad." She stated matter-of-factly. I froze again. did she see the bomb? Oh my gosh I may have ruined this poor girl!

"Um twilight... you didn't see what hurt me... did you?" I asked, pure fear in my voice. She looked at me quizzically.

"No the spell only focused on you and your immediate surroundings. I could see how scared the people around you were...how scared even you were... It must have been terrible wasn't it?" She asked. She was staring right into my eyes. I really REALLY didn't want to lie to her, but it must be done.

"No it ah....wasn't that bad. I was um... ACTING. Yeah acting. In the play I'm supposed to get attacked and WIN, but I messed it up and hurt myself." Not a bad lie if I say so myself. She appeared to buy it, she even perked up and looked a little excited.

"Oooooh an actor?!" She squealed, "Are you famous where you're from?" I relaxed as my lie took hold.

"Hahaha do you really think I could be a famous actor if I can mess up a role so bad I hurt myself like this?" She continued on her little fan girl thing totally undaunted.

"Oh don't be so modest!" She squeaked, "Even the best mess up, like that one time my friend Rainbow...." She grew silent, her pupils shrank, and she jumped up really fast. "Oh my gosh I haven't even introduced my friends yet! They must be wondering where I've been the past three days!" With that she magicked the door open and dashed out, slamming the door behind her. I started laughing.

"I wonder how you're going to introduce us if I haven't told you my name yet!" I yelled at the closed door. This ought to be funny.

Meet the friends

Hey, just a warning. The upcoming dream is a little dark, I would tag it, but there won't be much more dark hopefully.

I had dozed off in Twilight's abscence. In my dreams the world became distorted and wrong. I was strapped to a table, all my limbs tied down and my head positioned so I couldn't look away from what I saw. It was Twilight. She stood over me scalpel in her magic grip. She spoke with maniac intensity. "Oh how I love experiments!" She cooed. "First we gotta see what is inside a human!" she squealed. The scalpel approached my abdomen. I tried to wiggle out of the way, but was held fast. the cold steel pierced my skin and I screamed. If my mind had any mercy, it would have allowed me to awake then. Instead, I was forced to stare as the scalpel cut a neat little square right in my middle. "Why are you doing this?!" I yelled in pain.

"For science!" She whispered in my ear. Twilight removed the seperated skin and gasped at what she saw. Where a normal person would have a heart, I had a black, shriveled, tiny, rasin-like blob. It hissed and legs appeared on it out of nowhere. It crawled up and sat on my face. It looked at me and hissed again. I screamed once more and was thrust into conciousness.

I looked around and realized I had rolled off my bed and onto the floor. I was drenched in cold sweat and physically drained. I tried to push myself up and looked right at a pair of purple hooves.

"WAAAAGH!! DON'T CUT ME OPEN FOR SCIENCE!" I screamed at the top of my lungs as I cowered against my bed. I slowly regained my senses and remembered where I was. "OH SORRY TWILIGHT. I HAD A NIGHTMARE AND YOU STARTLED ME!" I continued yelling, oblivious to my volume.

"WHY ARE YOU STILL YELLING?" She countered. I blushed and decided to use my inside voice.

"oh um... sorry... so uh... Where are these friends you were gonna show me?" I asked casually, trying to glaze over the fact that I had been freaking out.

"Why we're right here darling!" a voice proclaimed from the other side of the beds. I froze again. I decided to make sure this was real now instead of finding out later. I balled my right hand into a fist and smashed it into my face full strength. Blood. Eeyup I'm awake, and that REALLY hurt. Twilight didn't seem to thrilled with my action.

"Why did you do that?!" She screamed.

"What, what did he do dear?" The same voice from earlier inquired. I slowly stood up to my full height and turned to look at the newcomers. I saw an orange pony with a blonde mane and tail that were both tied at the ends with little rubber bands. She had three apples on her flank and wore a cowboy hat. Next to her was a white unicorn with a pretty purple mane and tail that she obviously spent a lot of time curling and maintaining. All three ponies gasped a little as I stood at full height. I looked around bewildered, searching for what had made them gasp. Then I realized they were all staring at me.

"What did I do?" I asked.

"Dear Celestia! He's as tall as, well Celestia!" The white one said. (yes I know she's Rarity, but I'm kinda enjoying the "playing dumb" thing.) I face palmed myself as I realized why the white and orange ones were shocked, but why Twilight?

"Geez, I knew he was big lying down, but standing...." Twilight mumbled. Ah that explains that. Then I got an entertaining idea. I put on a slightly evil smile.

"Hey Twilight, why don't you introduce us?" I asked with a small smile.

"Oh no problem. This is Rarity," she said pointing to the white unicorn

"Pleased to make your aquaintance m'lady." I said as I walked over to Rarity. I got down on one knee and bent my head as I raised one of her hooves to my lips.

"Oh what a proper gentleman!" Rarity said with a small giggle. Twilight gave me a small glare.

"ANYWAY," Twilight growled a little. "This is Applejack." She said pointing to the orange pony. She was giving me a wary look, problably worried I'd kiss her hoof too. Instead I walked over to her and offered a hand. She placed her hoof in it, still looking cautious. I then proceeded to shake her hoof up and down as fast as I possibly could.

"Well howdy there ma'am! Pleasure to meet you!" I said in my natural southern drawl. Yep I'm country. Laugh it up.

"Wwwweeeeelll IIII ggggooootta sssaayy Tttwiii," She tried to say as I shook her vigerously. I stopped shaking when I realized she was talking. "I sure could get used ta this feller." She said in a daze.

"....Right," Twilight grumbled. "Anyway, Rarity, Applejack this is....." Her eyes widened a little as she realized she didn't have a clue what my name was. "uh...um...oh dear..." Applejack and Rarity gave Twilight a little glare.

"Do ya mean ta tell me you've been around this feller for three days and ya haven't bothered ta learn his name?" Applejack scolded.

"Twilight, that is quite rude!" Rarity added in.

"Now now girls," I interrupted. I walked over to the deeply blushing Twilight and patted her on the head. "In her defense, I didn't bother to tell her either. So it's just as much my fault as hers." Twilight sniffled and looked up at me. I gave her a kind smile. "Now just so all of you know, My name is Steven White, but my friends call me Sharky."

"Now why would they call ya that?" Applejack asked. I grinned a little.

"Because I was studying to be a marine biologist in my world, and my favorite fish was a shark. So people that knew me well called me sharky." I explained.

"A Mareine Biwaht?" Rarity asked. I laughed.

"Marine not Mareine," I corrected. "A marine biologist is a scientist that studies and cares for all aquatic animals and plants!" Rarity and Applejack didn't say anything, but they both had the "Ooooooh" expression. Then I began to wonder why only two of the mane six were here. "Hey Twilight, surely a kind mare like yourself has more than just two friends, no matter how amazing those two friends are!" I said, flashing each of them a grin.

"Ooooh you take care of animals too!?" Said a very excited voice at the door. I slowly turned towards the door, prepared to meet my favorite pony. As soon as I finished turning a small yellow pegasus hit me in a flying hug-tackle. "Ooooh finally another animal pony!" She squeaked. Before I could react and hug her back, she had already bounced away from me. (Damn.) She looked down at her hooves and started whispering. "oh...I'm sorry...I was just so happy to meet another pony like me..."

"Don't worry miss! I'm totally fine with hugs, and I know what it's like to find someone that likes...the same...things..you...do........" I finished with a little strain. "Oh. I'm a human not a pony by the way!" I said trying to cover up my earlier slip. The little pegasus Then looked at me again and gave me a shy smile. Then she realized how tall I was and her mouth dropped open and she backed away a little.

"T..t...t...tall!!" She yelled. Well flutteryelled anyway. I guess she hadn't taken the time to look at my before she tackled me.

"No no, don't be afraid!" I said, just above a whisper. I dropped to one knee and opened up my arms. "Now how about you let me hug you back, hmm? If you don't mind that is..." She smiled at me again as I dropped and trotted over. When she reached me she hesitated a little, but I caught her in a gentle bear hug before she could change her mind. She was very stiff for the first few seconds, but she loosened up as I stroked her mane. She wrapped her forelegs around me and I had to try really hard not to fanboy squee. (I'M HUGGING FLUTTERSHY!!! LIFE COMPLETE!!!) She sniffled a little and jumped out of the hug suddenly. (Darn.)

"Oh my gosh you're still hurt!" She squeaked. I stood up and swayed a lot. Meeting them had made me completely forget how much pain I was in.

"Ummm, Sharky?" Twilight said, she sounded worried. "Should you be standing with your injuries?"

"Ummm no absolutley not!" I exclaimed right as my legs gave out and a wave of pain hit me. Twilight levitated me onto the beds. "Thanks Twilight..." I said through gritted teeth. Geez this hurts! "You're a good friend." Then she hit me with a wave of magic that put me to sleep.

"Thanks Sharky...." She said before I faded into the blackness...AGAIN!

Meet the friends part 2

I woke up again, This time it must have been night because Twilight, Rarity, Applejack, and Fluttershy had all fallen asleep, and I could see the moon through a window at the end of the room. I nearly broke out in d'awwws. They all snore very softly in their sleep and their ears twitched a little. SO FREAKING ADORABLE. All the ponies slept in the guest chairs except Twilight. She had fallen asleep with her head on the bed next to my shoulder. She was standing on her back legs. I'm sure it wasn't comfortable, so I pulled her up on the bed gently placed her about a foot away from me. She kicked her legs a little, and I worried she had woken up. She continued snoring though so I relaxed. I'm so touched! These girls all decided to keep me, a newcomer they just met, company so I wouldn't wake up alone! At least, I assume that's why they slept here. Then I thought about how uncomfortable they must be, sleeping in chairs instead of their beds. Especially Twilight! I know now she's slept here at least three days. Spike must be worried sick! I thought to myself. I need to tell them to leave tomorrow... I sighed inwardly. Twilight must feel so bad about bringing me here... Wait... What if she sends me back?! I hadn't really thought about being here or staying here since I've got here, but know that I thought about it I knew two things, One: I'm not leaving. I have nothing to live for back on Earth, it was all taken away from me. Two: Twilight was problably going to try to send me back anyway. I began to panic. I was finally living in a world me and......her.... had always dreamed about living in! I'll be damned if I'm gonna let the fact that she's not here bother me! I haven't been here long, but this is awesome! All I've seen is a hospital room for the biggest part of my time here, and everyone I've met here is already showing me more kindness than anyone, other than my parents, has ever shown me. I froze again. My parents! Noooooo! I started crying as it finally hit me in full force. My parents died. I never even got to say goodbye... I must have been crying really hard because my sobs woke up Twilight.

"What's wrong?!" She half-yelled, half-whispered. I jolted as I realized I'd have to explain myself. I decided to try a lie first.

"Oh..*sob*..I'm just..*sniffle*..So happy to have friends like you and the others..." I managed to get out. Somehow I had pulled myself together enough to talk. She glared at me. I'm getting a lot of glares from her...

"Don't lie to me!" She warned. I sighed and gave another little sob.

"I...I..I was thinking...about my parents..." I choked out. She immediately looked very guilty.

"Oh no! You want to go back to your parents and your life in your other world, don't you?" She almost whined. I laughed through my tears. Ironic how she had asked that right after I had been thinking about it. She gave me a very funny look.

"My...my...my....parents...died..." I mumbled. I then broke out into a full-on wailing sob-fest. I'm pitiful. The others all woke very quickly and began glaring at Twilight like she had done something wrong. She probably would've been defensive at that moment, but she was too busy starting to cry with me.

"Oh dear... What's wrong Sharky?" Fluttershy asked gently. She trotted up to the bed. I couldn't help it. I grabbed her with one arm and Twilight in the other and pulled them to me.

"My parents are dead!" I sobbed Into Fluttershy's mane. She teared up and wrapped her forelegs around me. Twilight hugged me too and sobbed into my chest.

"Oh sharky...I'm sorry..." Sobbed Fluttershy. I should feel like a dick for making two ponies cry, but I'm so upset I can't bring myself to care. I tried pulling myself together, but it took a good 20 minutes. When I finally stopped Twilight and Fluttershy were still going strong, and Rarity and Applejack had tears in their eyes.

"Wh...why are you crying?" I said through my after-cry hiccups. Twilight looked up at me through her tears.

"Buh..because my friend's parents are dead!" She sobbed.

"But... you don't...didn't... even know them!" I said full of disbelief. How can these girls, who I've only talked to twice and only known for a day (counting only the time I've been conscious) care so much?

"That's true, we don't. But you're our friend and we care you! Nopony should have to go through their parents dying while they're so young!" Twilight whimpered. I gotta say, I really like these girls. They don't even know about the people that died, but they still cry...for me. I don't know any human that could say the same. Even I could only say "I'm sorry" when I found out my best friend's dad had died. (I hadn't known his dad. I did feel bad for him, but you know...) Their acceptance and emotion are both so powerful and abundant, they don't even seem to have a second thought about calling an almost complete stranger their friend. Wow...just wow... I didn't try to say anything else. I just pulled Twilight back into a hug and waved over Applejack and Rarity. They jumped up on the bed with us and joined the hug. We just sat there and hugged and cried for a few minutes. Then I had an embarrassing thought.

"Oh geez!" I shouted as I detached myself from the pile of pony. "I haven't showered in three days at least! I must reek! I'm so sorry!" I blushed as I realized how my scent must have been bugging them. They all wiped up their tears and looked at each other. Then they started giggling like school girls.

"Oh dear!" Giggled Rarity. "You've gone through so much, but you're priority is not wanting us to think you smell bad?! Even I'm not that self conscious darling!" My blush deepened as I realized how foolish I probably sounded. I was glad all the crying was over though. I remained separated from them on the bed, but I joined in on the laughing. As we laughed, I saw the sun start to come up and pointed it out to the girls. We all quieted down and watched the sunrise. I'd seen plenty of sunrises on Earth, but this one looked amazing even compared to the most beautiful there. The sun was just peeking above the horizon, and it washed the sky in orange and red hues. The clouds above appeared dark red, as if stained by berries. The sun reflected off snow that was on the ground at such an angle that it looked like the ground was covered in diamonds. It was breathtaking.

"Wow..." I whispered. Then the clouds made me think. Isn't Rainbow Dash supposed to clear those? Then I realized I hadn't gotten to meet her or Pinkie Pie yet. I turned to face Twilight. "Hey Twilight?" I asked.

"Hmm?" She breathed. She sounded totally content. I almost didn't ask about her other friends, but she had her eyes locked on me. It made me have to say what I was going to.

"Are there any other ponies you wanted to introduce me to?" Her eyes widened and she squeaked, jumped off the bed, and dashed out the door. (magically opening and closing it, of course.) Then I turned to the others that were on my beds. "Ummm... I like hanging out with you guys and all, and it was really nice of you to keep me company tonight, but don't you guys have jobs you need to get to? It'd be nice if you could stay, but I'd guess you're all busy mares."

"Ah'd normally be busy with ma apples, but the trees are all bare. Ah'm outta work fer now." Applejack said.

"I would normally be taking care of animals, but they're all hibernating or flew away for winter." Fluttershy mumbled. "And also I'd like to keep talking with you for now if you don't mind..." (squee! Fluttershy likes talking to me!)

"I've already released my winter fashion line and drawn the designs for spring way ahead of schedule, so I'm free." Rarity added. I grinned.

"Great! More time to get to know you guys!" I said excitedly. Then I realized It had been three days before I'd visited a bathroom. It's moments like this that make me glad I was born with a large bladder. "Ummm right after I use the little boy's room!" I shouted. "Where is the bathroom?!" All three of them pointed to a door on the left side of the room. I dashed into it and locked the door behind me. "Wow they have indoor plumbing!" I mumbled to myself when I saw the short toilet. It was pretty far from the wall, so I guess ponies stand over it or something. I relieved myself then pulled up my jeans. I then realized I had been wearing the same clothes since I got here. I exited the room and walked back in to see all three of them huddled in a little circle.

"Hi girls!" I shouted. They all fell back, startled by my yell. "Whatcha talkin' about?" They blushed a little, except Applejack.

"We were talkin' about where ya'd stay while yer here." Applejack stated bluntly. I laughed.

"Girls, first thing I would like you to know, there is no 'while yer here'. I want to stay." I waited for this to sink in. Rarity and Fluttershy smiled and jumped in a happy fashion. Geez these ponies don't contain emotions at all. Applejack however, seemed a little confused.

"Whadya mean yer staying?" She asked. "Don't cha miss your world?" I would have answered, but at that moment a pink bolt exploded through the door.

"Ohmygoshthere'ssomeponynewinponyville!" The bouncing pink pony shouted like a squirrel on coffee. "Ijustgottaintroducemyselfandgettomeetyouandthenwe'llbebestfriendsandI'llthrowyouawelcomepartybecausecomeon,whodoesn'tlikepartiesand--mnnnnffffff!!" Her rapid fire speech was cut short by a blue hoof being shoved in her mouth.

"Sorry about my friend here." The blue pony with the rainbow mane said. "She means well, but she's just so random." (OHMYGOSH SHE SAID IT!!!) Then she looked up at me and her jaw dropped. "T...t...tall!!" She squeaked. I laughed. Hard.

"Nice to meet you two!" I boomed, trying to scare her a little more. (yeah, I know I'm a dick.) "I'm Sharky, Sharky White. You are?"

"I...I..I'm" The rainbow one stuttered. I guess I shocked her pretty bad.

"Lemme guess..." I mused. "Your name starts with Rainbow." She gasped.

"HOW'D YOU KNOW THAT?!" She yelled. I walked over and waved her bangs in her eyes.

"Lucky guess." I lied. She regained her composure and talked again.

"Yeah, I'm Rainbow Dash, fastest flier in all Equestria!" She bragged. I rolled my eyes. She gave me a mean glare.

"Hey are you gonna take your hoof outta the pink one's mouth?" I asked.

"Are you sure you want her to do that?" Asked a familiar lavender pony. I hadn't seen her walk in, but oh well.

"Yeah, I think I can handle It this time around." I stated confidently. My mistake.

"Wowieyouarereallytallyouknow?Idon'tthinkI'veeverseenanyoneastallasyouinmylife.WellexceptprincessCelestia.OhandNightmareMoon.MaybeprincessLunatoo,butonlyifyouaretalkingaboutnightmarenight,becausewhenIfirstsawhershewasn'tastallassheisnowand...OHRIGHTIstillhavetothrowyouaparty!Itsgonnabereallyfunanddoyouwantstreamersandballons?It'snotapartywithoutstreamersandballonsohandacakeandpuncha---"

"Excuse me!" I interrupted. "Could you please tell me your name? SLOWLY."

"Oh, I'm Pinkie Pie." She said slowly, with obvious strain. "Now about yourparty--" I interrupted her before she could start hyper-speed babbling again.

"YES. About that. I have a feeling there's no way I can just avoid a party altogether right?" She shook her head no so fast I only saw a blur. "Ok then can you do me a favor?" She shook her head yes at the same speed. Where does she get this energy!? "Ok then, can you only invite the ponies right here? I start panicking in large groups. Which is why I don't like big parties." I tried to say that as gently as possible so I wouldn't hurt her feelings. Apparently it worked.

"Ohthatsnoproblem.Weproblablydon'twantyoutoscareeveryponybymeetingthemtosoonanyway.NooffenseImean,butyou'resotalleveryponymightrunawayandthatwouldn'tmakeforaveryfunpartyanyway!"

".....Riiiiight....." It was then that I realized That I wasn't in pain anymore. I did a few stretches and a few push-ups to make sure.

"Ummm Sharky...What are you doing?" They asked in unison. All 6. It's like they practiced it or something.

"Guys, Why am I healed all they way already?" They gave me a confused look.

"Whaddya mean 'already'?" Asked Rainbow Dash. "You've been healing for four days! Thats really slow!" I almost dropped my jaw, but then I started thinking about the episode where Dash broke her wing. I guess fast healing is normal for them.

"Well I guess it might be a long time for you guys, but a human with that kinda damage can be in a hospital for a week, and still be in a lot of pain for a while after that!" They all looked shocked. Then Twilight came up with an idea.

"Maybe it's just our world that makes healing faster!" Wow. Thats a really good explanation.

"Wow good thinking Twilight! That would make sense." I agreed. "So I guess that means I gotta leave the hospital now." Then I started thinking. "Oh no! I've got nowhere to go!" Twilight cleared her throat.

"Actually, I wrote to Princess Celestia about you, and she wants me to watch you and make sure you aren't a threat." I'll admit, it hurt a little to be called a threat, but her decision made sense. "You can stay with me and Spike at the library! Oh and while you're there, we can look for a way to get you back to your home..." She sounded oddly unhappy about the last part of that sentence.

"Actually....I wanna stay here, in Equestria. If you don't mind anyway..." Almost everypony in the room seemed happy with that, except Applejack. Again.

"An' why doncha wanna go back home?" She asked. The others stopped smiling and turned to me with questioning eyes. I took a deep breath and decided to stop dodging around and explain.

MUST NOT POST CHAPTER 5. ONLY ONE A DAY... RESISTING URGE TO PLEASE FANS ON DEMAND...so hard!

Narrow dodging

Because I just woke up and feel like writing something weird, here's my motto.
"The early bird gets the worm."
"Yes, but the second mouse gets the cheese!"

I took a breath and began to speak.

"Ok girls... Here's how it is..." They all leaned in and turned their ears towards me. "I wa--" A white pony with a red cross for a cutie mark burst in.

"Did I hear you say you were leaving!?" She gushed, she seemed really happy. "Ok just sign these papers and be on your way!" She had a few documents balanced on her back. I took them and filled them out properly. "Yay! maybe the other ponies will come back to work now that you're leaving!" She cheered. Boy I've never been so rudely saved before. As soon as I was done filling out the documents she ripped them out of my hands so fast it left a burn. (like I needed another one of those.) She then pushed her head against my lower back and forced me out the door, which made me hit my head on the door frame (ow.). After she forced me out of the hospital I just stood there dumbfounded.

"Well nice to meet you too..."

"Sharky are you ok?" One of the mane 6 asked as they came out after me. I was too shocked to determine which one.

"Yeah I'm fine... It's not like she attacked me or anything..."

"Well yea, but that was mighty rude a' miss Redheart, are ya upset?" I had regained enough sense to know it was Applejack talking this time.

"...No. I over stayed my welcome I'm sure. It must have been hard for her to come to work thinking there was a monster there." I was a little upset, but I'm definitely not gonna tell them that. "So, Twilight, who is this...Spike was it? That you mentioned earlier?" I tried to stray further away from what I had been about to talk about earlier. They didn't appear to fall for it, but seemed to know I didn't want to talk about it.

"Well, Spike is my baby dragon." I decided to take advantage of her wording of that sentence. I decided to throw focus on her to distract from myself. Sorry Twilight. I widened my eyes in fake horror.

"Twilight that means that...you..with a dragon?!" I yelped in fake disbelief. I'm a terrible person. All the ponies, except Twilight, Rarity, and Fluttershy rolled on their backs laughing. (Fluttershy and Rarity were laughing, but not rolling in the dirt.) Twilight's pupils shrank and she blushed profusely.

"N-No! NONONONONO!" She balked. "I just hatched his egg!"

"By sitting on it like a mamma bird?" I asked innocently. Fluttershy began to laugh harder when I said that.

"NO! I used magic to hatch it!" She was obviously very flustered, but come on, you know it was funny. I decide to quit now. I had succeed in distracting them anyway.

"Oooooh! Well now that that unpleasant misunderstanding is out of the way, can I meet him?"

"Sure, I would love for you to meet him!" Twilight was obviously still very flustered, but her blush faded as we started walking towards her house. It was early morning still, so nopony was around to see me. That, or they were awake and hiding. Twilight looked up at me with a smile on her face as we walked. Then she squinted her eyes and seemed to be examining my face. "Sharky? Where'd the bump on your head come from?" I felt my forehead, and she was right! There was a small almost pointy bump on my head!

"Well, I hit my head on the way out of the hospital, but It shouldn't be swelling already..."

"Don't worry, when we get to my house I'll fix it up for you!" She had been walking without looking for awhile, and right about then she tripped over a large rock. "Ah buck!" She shouted. She looked to be in a decent amount of pain. "I think I twisted my hoof!" I leaned down and inspected her, but I couldn't figure out which leg she was talking about. So I just lifted her with both arms, cradling her like a baby. (She's so small I can pull it off. She's freakin' adorable like this!)

"Don't worry!" I proclaimed. "You carried me when I was hurt, and now I'll carry you." She turned a little red and looked away from me.

"What a true gentlepony!" Rarity interjected. I rolled my eyes at being called a 'pony' again. Luckily Rarity couldn't see my face. We walked a while more and we were almost at Twilight's library when she looked up at me again. She opened her mouth like she wanted to speak, but then closed it again.

"Did you want to ask me something Twilight?" I asked curiously. She blushed again. (She does that A LOT I've noticed. I wonder why.) She couldn't look at me while she asked.

"I feel like such a filly..." She muttered. Then she looked at me shyly. "Could you...kiss my leg to help me feel better?" She murmured. I nearly busted a gut laughing. She's so damn cute! She must have thought I was laughing at the idea because she teared up. (Damn I gotta stop making ponies cry, it's not good for my heart.)

"No no don't cry." I soothed. "You were just so much like a little human girl right then that I laughed. I don't have a problem with it, which leg?" Her tears vanished and she held up her right foreleg like a little girl. (SO MUCH D'AWWWWW!!) We had reached Twilight's door, so I knocked, then brought her leg up and kissed it just above the hoof. (at least I assume it was above the hoof, I really couldn't tell you where the hoof ends and the leg begins.) Right as I was about to pull my mouth away, the door was flung open by a very small, and very angry looking, purple dragon.

"I WON'T LET YOU EAT MY SISTER!!!" He screamed. He took a big breath, and then proceeded to set my pants on fire.

"BWAAAGH!!" I hopped up and down, still holding Twilight. I guess dragons can choose whether their flame hurts or sends letters, because this hurt like a bitch and I could smell smoke. Rarity magically pulled off my pants, (Wait whut?) and then threw them on the ground. Then Rainbow flapped her wings at them really fast and put out the fire. Spike took another deep breath, oblivious to the efforts of the mane 6 to yell at him to stop. Right as he was about to exhale again and problably light my boxers and leg hair, Twilight magically clamped his mouth shut. He inflated like a balloon temporarily, then deflated again right after that.

"SPIKE!!!" Twilight practically screamed. "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!" Spike looked like he was going to yell back, but then just looked really confused.

"Saving your life?" He asked. Twilight seemed to calm down at this.

"Well that's awfully brave of you, but you just lit my new friend, OUR new house guest, on FIRE!" She made sure to put a lot of emphasis on that last word. Spike looked down bashfully.

"Oops... *ehm sorry Mr....?"

"Sharky, Sharky White. Don't worry bro, I'm actually really impressed with your bravery!" He looked up at me with a happy gleam in his eye.

"Ya really mean it? You aren't mad?"

"Yeah I mean it, I wouldn't have the guts to attack something like 10 times my size if I were you. I'm not mad at all!" I thought a little. "I might need new pants though..." I looked down, past Twilight and saw the blackened, holey remains of my pants. About that time, I realized I was standing there in my boxers. "Ohmygosh!" I shouted. I ran past the little dragon and into the house. I then dashed up the stairs to Twilight's bedroom and jumped clear up on top of that little ledge that has her bed on it. (actually not that impressive, it was only about 4 feet tall and I used to jump hurdles.) I gently placed her on the bed and jumped back down.

"Whoa Sharky! Why did you run like that?!"

"Because I'm not wearing pants!" I yelled up at Twilight.

"So?" My jaw dropped. I can't believe the idea of not wearing pants doesn't effect her. Though I really should have known.

"So, I'M. NOT. WEARING. PANTS!!" I yelled. "For a human that's really bad!" I tried to explain.

"I still don't see how that's a problem. We only wear pants when we want to. Why do you need them so bad?"

"Because...because...Look I just need pants ok?!"

"Then you should ask Rarity for help."

"Help with what dear?" Rarity asked as the other 5 and Spike came into the room. I got up again and dashed to the nearest door. Yes, bathroom! I thought as I locked the door.

"Rarity!" I yelled through the door. "I need your help!"

"Ummm... I don't know what help you could need in there, but I'm not the one you should ask..." I laughed.

"No,no, nothing bad. I just need you to make me new pants or fix the old ones. If it's not to much trouble that is.... I'm sure I'll be able to pay you back once I make some money!"

"Think nothing of it dear, I'll fashion you some new clothes, free of charge!" She then squealed a little. "Oooooh, I get to design clothes for a famous actor from another planet!!" I heard hooves trotting out, so I assume she left.

"Twilight..."

"Yes Sharky?"

"Why did you tell her I was a famous actor?"

"You told me you were acting remember? That's how you got hurt."

"Yes, but I also said I wasn't very good!"

"You're just being modest!" I gave up. Clearly there was no arguing with this pony. I sighed deeply and sat down in the corner of the bathroom. Just then Rarity came trotting back in.

"Oh dear, I seem to have forgotten to bring Sharky!"

"Why would you need to bring me?!" I was freaking out now.

"Well I can't very well fashion clothes for you without measurements, can I?" She asked. I groaned.

"Can't you measure what's left of my old pants and use that?"

"Oh, you mean the ones that nearly burnt to a small pile of ash?" She asked sarcastically. "Yes I'm sure those wouldn't fall apart before I even got to the boutique."

I am so fucked... I thought to myself. "Alright Rarity, how far is the boutique?"

"Just a five minute trot from here." She said. I sighed loudly. I grabbed a towel from a rack on the wall and wrapped it around my lower body. I then unlocked the door and stepped into Twilight's bedroom again.

"Ok Rarity, lets go." We left Twilight's house and I saw Spike cleaning up what was left of my pants. I saw a glint of silver through the ashes. "Wait Spike!" He stopped and turned to face me. I walked over and grabbed the engagement ring from the ashes. "Thanks Spike..." I turned and started following Rarity to the boutique. Luckily for me it was still really early so I didn't run into any ponies. That didn't make it much less embarrassing that I was running around ponyville in my boxers. Worse still, Twilight had found a little walking stick and caught up with us.

"How much longer is this gonna take?!" I whined as Rarity took like her 50TH MEASUREMENT. I had been standing here with her hooves and measuring tape all over my lower body for four hours straight. I had wanted to ask why she wasn't using magic to hold the tape, but decided not to bother her.

"I'm on the last few measurements dear." She's said that at least four times now.

"You've said that four times already!" Twilight complained. Haha, like she read my mind.

"Well I'm sorry I'm trying to do a thorough job!" Rarity retorted. "By all means If you can do better, please do!" She never once even looked away from measuring though, so she must be pretty confident we can't. She's right.

"I'm sorry Rarity, I'm just not used to this sort of thing. This is the longest I've ever stood in one spot." It was true. Even when watching a certain area of sea for hours trying to document shark behavior I had needed to pace around my boat. "I know you're the best around, maybe even the best in Equestria!"

"Flattery does get you everywhere." She said with a blush. "I haven't even begun making your pants though, what makes you have such a strong opinion of me already?" I faltered as I realized I had almost given away the fact that I knew about her previous works. I looked around quickly for an escape from my verbal slip. My gaze settled on the mann(horse?)equins, luckily, they had some of what I guess was her winter fashion line on them. I gestured towards them.

"I simply took a look at your work. Nothing in my world could even compare to what I see here!" Sure I was laying it on a bit thick (maybe not, I didn't keep up with fashion in my world, so I don't really know.), but I really wanted her to like me. I wanted all the ponies to like me, but especially Rarity, seeing as how she was my only source of clothing.

"Rarity?" Said a sweet little voice coming from the stairs. I turned my head and saw a tiny white unicorn with a half light purple, half light pink mane and tail standing on the staircase. "What's that?" She said with fear in her voice. I'm getting tired of scaring ponies.

"Don't worry Sweetiebelle. This is my new friend, Sharky!" Rarity said through a mouthful of measuring tape. Sweetiebelle seemed to get over her fear just as quickly as she had gotten it.

"Ooooh~ Is he going to go to the New Year's party?!" She squeaked.

"Oh my gosh! The New Year's party!" Twilight shrieked. "I haven't even thought of which friend I'm gonna bring!" I was genuinely confused at this point. The show never mentioned a New Year's party.

"Ummm... What are you guys talking about?" Twilight and Sweetiebelle were to busy bouncing and gushing over the party to hear me. (wait... bouncing?) So Rarity responded instead.

"The New Year's party happens at the end of every year to celebrate the coming of a new year, full of promise and second chances." Sounds like our new year so far. "Everypony hooks up with a friend and stays up until midnight, drinking laughing, and having fun." Still sounds familiar. "At midnight, everypony then has to tell their friend a secret. Most ponies use this night to confess their love for another pony with little to no repercussions." And there the similarities end.

"So it's a night for friends to learn new things about each other?" I summarized.

"Well basically yes!" Rarity had thankfully stopped taking measurements and was at her sewing machine right now. I sat down. Right when I did, a lavender pony jumped in my lap.

"Will you go to the New Year's party with me?" I have to say. I REALLY didn't want to go. I could only imagine how my appearance would make ponies react. I looked up to tell Twilight no, but when I did I saw the most adorable puppy-dog begging eyes, EVER. She was sitting on her haunches, had her forelegs in front of her chest, and her eyes had swelled about three times their normal size. I didn't have it in my heart to tell her no.

"Alright, ok. I'll go one one condition." I said. Twilight looked ecstatic. I heard a small ripping noise from Rarity's direction.

"Anything!"

"Tell me why your foreleg is all better now." Her eyes shrank and her hooves dropped.

"Uhh...ummm... like I said, we ponies heal fast!" She managed to say. I don't buy it, but I'll let it go for now.

"Ok!" I said with a smile. "I'll go." Twilight giggled and started bouncing. Then I realized I was still only wearing boxers. I pushed Twilight off me and stood up with a blush.

"Ow! What was that for?!" I know she problably doesn't realize what she just did, so I try to be casual about it.

"Oh, sorry. I just needed to stand because... Uh my legs were falling asleep!" She accepted my apology, and we waited for my pants. I twirled the ring I had kept clenched in my hand around my fingers, and thought.

Copy Cat

Time slowed down. I heard my voice as if it came from far away.

"TWILIGHT!!!" She didn't react to my voice. She was out cold. I reached out and tried to grab her, but I was too slow. I looked to Rarity and Fluttershy, but they were staring at the sky, oblivious to what had just happened. The crowd cheered in the distance.

"HAAAAAPPYYYY...." Twilight was falling quickly. She was about 30 feet from the ground. I couldn't save her. I felt helpless.

"NEEEEWWW....." I couldn't let her die. I couldn't do anything either though. I sat there helplessly with my arm stretched out towards her. All I could do was wish I could stop her fall. I felt stronger when I wished this. Power started to course through me.

"YEEEEAAAARRRR!!!" My own scream drowned out the distant crowd.

"NO!" The scream wasn't filled with sorrow, or regret. It was filled with power. It was an order. Twilight was suddenly wrapped in a magic aura the same color as her own. It was faint, but her descent was slowed greatly. She didn't stop, but continued toward the ground until she landed softly. I looked around confusedly for the one that saved her, but no pony else was there besides Rarity and Fluttershy. They were both staring at me open-mouthed. Rarity pointed a hoof at my head.

"H-h-horn!" She shouted. I reached up to my forehead. The bump on my forehead from earlier had grown and was now about one-third the size of a unicorn's horn. I gasped in disbelief and rubbed the under-developed horn to make sure it was really there. (Which caused some...unusual feelings...) I then remembered Twilight.

"Girls, Twilight fell off the cliff!" I yelled at the stunned ponies.

"Oh no! Is s-she alright?" Fluttershy asked. Her and Rarity were still drunk.

"Yes...I think I lowered her to the ground safely..." The both looked at me confusedly.

"Look my point is we should go check on her!" They nodded in agreement. We started running down the road that led down the cliff, but Rarity and Fluttershy were stumbling too much to keep up. I crouched down and pulled Fluttershy up on my back and picked Rarity up in my left arm. (Damn these ponies are light!) I then sprinted down the road until I reached the area Twilight had fallen in. I searched around for a good 5 minutes before I found her. She was curled up into a ball and sleeping soundly. Her hair was ruffled, but I couldn't find any signs of damage on her body. "I think it's time I got you girls home." I said as I lifted Twilight in my right arm. Their collective weight was beginning to strain me, but I didn't complain. I took off towards the boutique because it was closest. We passed the square on the way back and the party was still going strong. I think I saw a conga line going. As we walked, the swaying motion put Rarity to sleep. Luckily Fluttershy stayed awake. I was almost to the boutique.

"H-hey Sssharky?" Fluttershy slurred. I lifted one leg and balanced Twilight's flank on my knee to open the door.

"Yeah Fluttershy?" I walked in and climbed up the stairs to where I knew Rarity's bedroom was. (Thank you television.)

"We neever got ta share secrets..." I placed Rarity in bed and tucked her in. Yeah not easy to do with one hand.

"Ummm... ok do you want to share secrets now?" I walked back down the stairs and out of the boutique. I started walking to Twilight's house.

"Ssure. You can go first."

"Umm... ok, let's see..." I thought for a minute. "I've only kissed one girl in my life. Excluding family of course."

"Really?"

"Eeyupp." (Finally got to use that.) I saw Twilight's house just a short distance away now. "What secret are ya gonna tell me?" Fluttershy didn't answer. I opened the door and went up to Twilight's room. I tucked her into bed and she turned in her sleep.

"Mmmm...thanks Sharky..." She muttered in her sleep. I couldn't help it. She was just so freaking adorable. I bent down and kissed her forehead. I then turned around and left. I didn't see it, but behind me Twilight smiled in her sleep.

I would have never guessed it from watching the show, but Fluttershy's house is like a 30 minute walk out of town! I could finally see her house in the distance. I pulled Fluttershy off my back and cradled her in my arms. I had thought she was asleep, but she was looking up at me when I moved her.

"Sharky! The horn is gone!" She exclaimed in surprise. I reached up with one hand and rubbed my forehead. She was right! The little horn was gone!

"What the... huh?!" I was shocked. Getting a horn had been weird enough, but disappearing was just bizarre! I decided I would figure it out later. "Well nevermind that Fluttershy. Lets get you to bed."

"You're so nice Sharky... How come you don't worry about yourself?" I laughed.

"I worry about myself plenty."

"No you don't." She argued. Wow alcohol really does make her more assertive. "Ever since I met ya, you've been worried about not sscaring or hurting us. Now, instead of worrying about whatever ish happening to yerself, you're more concerned about getting meh to bed." The drink and sleep were both getting to her, but she had a good point. We were at her door now. I opened it and walked in.

"Well, to be honest, I've never really been concerned about myself. I just always think other people's problems are more important."

"You're so nice..." She said again. I found her bedroom and tucked her in. "Hey Sharky?"

"Yes Fluttershy?"

"I know what my secret is... I want you to kiss me." I then procceded to laugh my ass off. She was SOOOOOO drunk. I decided to humor her though, so I kissed her forehead. She gave me a disapproving look. "That's not what I meant..." Damn! Fluttershy has lost all essence of shyness!

"Well I'll tell you what, when you've known me for more than a day, and you're not drunk off your flank, talk to me. Then we'll talk about a kiss." I then left her house, laughing the whole way back to Twilight's house. I was thinking how that day would never come. On the way there I noticed my shoulder blades felt oddly large. I dismissed the thought and continued laughing.

When I got back to the library, I curled up next to a couple bookshelves and tried to sleep. I laid there for about 30 minutes, but I couldn't sleep. I decided to check Twilight's books to see if there was something that would explain what was happening to me. I looked at the bookshelves. Each of them had a category written on top, (Ex. Refrence books, Science books, Other.) and the books were divided alphabetically in their shelves. I decided to check Other. After reaing the titles of all the books up to M, I found one entitled "Magic levels of worlds and the effects of crossing, by Dr. Hooves" Finding it creepily close to exactaly what I was looking for, I took it off the shelf and began reading.

"Sharky?! Have you been up all night?" Twilight yelled at me when she came down stairs. I guess ponies don't get hangovers. Sweet.

"Yes! I've found the explanation for my horn!!" I said excitedly. (I know I'm a nerd. Shut up.)

"You had a horn?" Twilight looked confused. I sighed impatiently.

"Yes, the bump on my head yesterday was really a growing horn!"

"Then why isn't it there now?"

"I'm gonna explain that! By the way, You're welcome."

"For what?"

"Oh, you fell off a cliff." I said absentmindedly. "Anyway according to this," I held up the book. "Every world has a certain amount of magic necessary to sustain life..."

"Wait, wait. Back up. I fell off a what now?"

"A cliff. I saved you. Anyway, The first level of magic allows for one sapient species to develop and allows friendship to develop..."

"Wait! How did you save me from falling off a cliff??"

"MAGIC!! Now please!" She quieted down and appeared to be listening. "Thank you... Now as I was saying. Level 2 magic allows for true love to develop. It is also the STRONGEST stage of magic. That is my planet's level. I'll skip ahead to your planet's level. Your planet is a level 12 magic planet, the highest level. That means that it has 5 or more sapient species, AND a powerful being or beings is/are responsible for the changing of day into night and back."

"So you went from an extremely low-magic planet to the highest level magic planet. What does that have to do with you growing a horn?"

"I'm getting there. Now according to this, if a magic being from a high-level planet goes to a low-level planet, all their magic will disperse into the world around them until they are even with the rest of the planet. This could be fatal, so don't ever do it." I warned her, thinking she might have been tempted to travel worlds. "Howwever, if a low-level being travels to a high-level world, they will take in magic from the world and assimilate it to the nearest magic being." Twilight thought for a moment.

"So that means you were turning into me?" She asked.

"No, it means I was gaining your abilities. Thats how I saved you, I had enough of your magic to slow your fall. Not stop it mind you, but slow was good enough." She nodded in understanding. Then she looked as if a thought crossed her mind.

"If that's the case, how come you don't still have a horn?"

"The book didn't specify, but I theorize that because the magic isn't mine, I can't retain it without the source. So since I've been near you almost the entire time I've been here I was copying you. When I left you for a half-hour to take Fluttershy home the magic left me, and started forming around Fluttershy. Thats why my shoulder blades had enlarged while I was with her, I was growing wings!"

"I thought you copied magic!" Twilight interjected.

"I do! The magic is different from pony to pony, like a pegasus's magic gives them wings and a talent, just like how the magic gives you a horn and a talent."

"So if you were to form magic around an earth pony, you would only get the talent?"

"Ah you catch on quick Twilight! However, The magic gifts earth ponies in special ways, like Applejack is extra strong! So being around her would make me stronger!" Twilight was luckily too excited about my discovery to notice that I had just said something about Applejack that I shouldn't have known.

"That's amazing!" Twilight thought some more. "But how did you start forming magic around Fluttershy so quickly? It took 4 days for you to copy me enough to get anything."

"I think that's because my body was so damaged for most of that time. Also, it could be that the more I practice copying, the better I get at it, like working a muscle." Twilight gave me a broad smile.

"It's not often I get to talk about science with somepony that can keep up with me!" She lowered her eyelids a little and tilted her head towards me. "It's really nice having someone smart to talk to..." She said it like it was a sigh.

"It's nice talking to you too!" I said with a smile. I then looked back to my book. I heard Twilight sigh, but I have no idea why, didn't she just say she was happy?

"Do you know what we should do now?" She said. I didn't see it, but she was creeping towards me.

"Hmm...? Oh, no clue, I was gonna read more though."

"Noooo..." She popped her head inbetween me and the book and smiled at me. "We have to test your theories!"

Yeah I know what you're all thinking, "Could Twilight BE more obvious?!" Well I would just like to remind you all that Sharky is based off of me, and I'm ignorant as BUCK when it comes to females. And uh oh... what's this? a move by Fluttershy?! Who the hell knows where this is going? I sure don't!

Personal space?

"Ummm Twilight?"

"Hmm...Yes Sharky?"

"Are you sure we need to sit like this to speed the process up?" I had been sitting with my legs crossed and Twilight was sitting right in the space between my legs leaning her back against my chest. She had me wrap my arms around her middle and she had her hooves wrapped around my arms. We had been like this for about two hours. About 30 minutes in, Spike had walked in, but he just turned around and walked right back.

"Hm? Oh yes. Absolutley."

"Well if we only need contact, couldn't we just--"

"NO, this is necessary!" She interrupted. I sighed loudly.

"..."

"..."

"...Can I at least check to see if I have a horn now?"

"Uggghh! Fine!" I unwrapped my arm from her legs then I lifted my hand to my forehead, and found a full grown horn there. It was bigger than Twilight's, but I guess the magic makes it bigger to suit my size. I jumped up really fast and sent Twilight tumbling out of my lap.

"Oops, sorry, but look! A full-grown horn!" I shouted excitedly.

"Fantastic." Twilight grumbled. I was confused.

"Why do you sound upset? The experiment was a sucess!" I was so excited.

"I'm not upset. Sucess Yay..." She still sounded a little upset, but I decided I was imagining it.

"Now I just gotta leave and see how long it takes to go away!" I started towards the door.

"Uhhhh No!"

"What? Why not?" I was halfway out the door. What can I say? I like testing theories.

"Uhhh...Don't you wanna learn how to use it first?!" She almost sounded like she was whining. That stopped me for a second. Why would she be whining? I almost decided to stay, but my natural curiosity won out.

"Nah, I'll learn later. It's not like I'll never be able to use magic again, right?" I joked. Twilight slumped down.

"Oh... Ok..." I then ran out the door. Twilight watched me leave. *sigh* "Maybe...maybe I'm not being obvious enough?" She then trotted to her room and sat on her bed to think. I've only known him for such a small amount of time...He's not even my SPECIES! This is so dumb...but then why do I feel this way?

I wasn't sure what to do with so much free time now, so I decided to check up on Fluttershy. I wanted to see if getting wings would actually allow me to fly, or if my body would still be too big. I passed a large, clear, grassy area, when all of the sudden I heard a voice.

"wooooaaAAAAHHHHHH!!!!" The voice became louder and sounded like it was getting closer, so I turned to see where the noise was coming from. In that moment, a cyan pegasus with a rainbow mane smacked into my gut full-force. I was knocked clean off my feet. I smacked my head on a rock when I hit the ground.

"OW!" I looked up and saw Rainbow Dash sitting on my chest. She was giving me a small apologetic smile.

"Oh, sorry. I was practicing a new trick and lost control..." I smiled back to her.

"No worries!" I grimaced as I rubbed the back of my head. My hand came away bloody.

"Oh no! You're bleeding!"

"No way, really?" I said sarastically. "Don't worry, I'm sure I can fix it." I tried to focus the little bit of magic I had left on the wound, but I didn't feel any change.

"Ummm...Why do you look constipated?" Dash asked me. I unscrewed my face. I sighed.

"I was trying to use magic to heal myself." I stated matter-of-factly. She laughed.

"Bwhaha! Only unicorns can use magic ya dork. You're not even a pony!"

"Well I had a horn like 20 minutes ago!" I shouted in frustration. I guess it wears off faster than I thought. Maybe practice would fix that too. Dash looked confused.

"You had a what now?" I sighed again. Something told me Rainbow wouldn't understand or care about the explanation like Twilight had.

"It's not important." Then I had a thought. "Hey you're the fastest flier in Equestria, right?"

"Eeyup!" She said proudly. I gave her a wicked grin.

"I'm willing to bet that if we hang out for the next few hours, I'll be just as fast as you!" She started laughing and rolled backwards off me.

"Sure, the thing without wings is gonna be as good a flier as me. BWAHAHAHA!" She was tearing up she was laughing so hard. "You know what I think? You just wanna hang with me!" She grinned.

"N-no that's not the case at all!"

"No worries!" She said with a wink. "I'll let you tag along with me!" I sighed. Clearly she had gotten the wrong idea.

I sat and talked with Dash for about 4 hours. She told me about her dreams to join the wonderbolts, and her sonic rainboom. I listened and nodded at the appropriate points. I wished my wings would grow faster. I could feel them developing, but much slower than my horn had grown. My body also felt like it was becoming much lighter and I could feel new muscles developing on my back. I wasn't sure if it had to do with the fact that I was holding Twilight, or if it was because I hadn't been around Dash much. I would've asked to hold Dash like I had held Twilight, but she was already getting the wrong idea and I didn't want to encourage it. Finally Dash stopped talking and gave me a challenging look.

"So we've hung out for a few hours, do you think you can fly like me? Bwahahaha!" I gave her a wicked grin. My wings had stopped growing, I was ready.

"As a matter of fact..." I pulled off my shirt. Dash gave me a funny look. "I think I can!" I then tried to flex my new muscles and ended up expanding my new wings to their full reach. Dash gasped and looked at them open-mouthed. I turned to look at them. They were cyan just like Dash's, but WAY bigger. I gave them a flap and flew about four feet off the ground.

"H-h-how??!" Dash stammered. I smiled at her again.

"Magic!" She tried to recover from the shock of seeing wings on a naturally wingless being.

"W-well you may have wings, but that doesn't make you as fast as me!"

"Oh really?" I challenged. I knew the magic would make me just as good as her. "Then how about a race?"

"You're on!" She shouted with ferocity in her eyes. I thought for a moment to decide where the race would be.

"Ok come with me to Fluttershy's house." I flapped my wings full force and blasted away from the ground. Dash was right there beside me and we took off to Fluttershy's house. I thought learning to fly would be difficult, but luckily the wings came with instincts, so I didn't have a problem. We got to Fluttershy's house, and I started explaining the course. "Ok, here's the plan. We are going to fly to Twilight's library, come back around and fly back here. 3 laps, first one back wins!"

"Sounds good to me. Let's go!" We lined up next to Fluttershy's tree.

"Ready..."

"Set..."

"GO!!!" We yelled at the same time. We both bolted into the air and took off towards Twilight's house. I was managing to stay right next to Dash, but it took some effort. She looked just as strained as I felt though, so I wasn't worried. We were going so fast that the 30 minute walk to Twilight's house was reduced to a 5 minute flight. I slowed down to turn around her house, but Dash tried to pull it off at full speed. She flew a little off course and I pulled about 3 feet ahead of her. It sounded like she said something, but the sound was quickly lost behind us. This was absolutley amazing! I felt like Superman while I flew! The wind whipped my face and I had to dodge a few bugs, but other than that it was the best feeling I'd ever experienced! Now I understood why Dash practiced all the time! We reached Fluttershy's house again and we both took the turn the right way this time, so I didn't gain any more distance on her. We rocketed towards Twilight's house again and Dash bumped my lower body as we approached it. I was thrown off course a little and me and Dash ended up neck-and-neck again.

"Rotten cheater..." I mumbled. We blasted towards Fluttershy's again and took the corner the same way. As we came back to Twilight's house Dash tried to bump me again, but I flapped a little harder to gain some altitude on her. Her bump missed and we headed towards Fluttershy's for the final time with me flying right above her. A thin white line faded into view as we picked up speed on our way towards Fluttershy's. I decided to get even with her cheating and win this race. I reached down and rubbed the base of her wings.

*POMF* Her wings popped straight out and the white line flung her backwards just like in the cartoon. I kept going and gained more speed until I broke the sound barrier a few hundred feet away from Fluttershy's house. With my Rainbow trail behind me (Manly I know) I flew after Dash's falling body. I managed to get to her and catch her a few feet away from the ground. I then slowed down and dropped to the ground right on the outskirts of ponyville. Dash hit my face with her hoof.

"OW!" I dropped her and rubbed the side of my face.

"Jerk!" She yelled back.

"Hey you started it! I guess this makes me the fastest flier in Equestria now huh?" I teased her. She gave me a really pissed off look, but then it softened and she cracked a smile.

"You're right, I did cheat first. Even if I hadn't you still woulda won."

"Aww don't be too hard on yourself. I'm sure you would have found some way to come ahead."

"Maybe, but this makes you the first pony to ever beat me. That's...cool." She said it in a kind of whisper. I thought she was upset, and when I looked at her, her eyelids were lowered, but she didn't look sad. She looked...hungry or something. Her look made me nervous for some reason.

"Well I'm gonna go now..." I said suddenly. I wanted to go share my newest findings with Twilight.

"What's your rush? You just raced after all. Aren't you tired? C'mon, lets go chill at my place" She said in that weird whisper again.

"N-no I really gotta go...I'm gonna share the data I just gathered with Twilight." I was getting really unnerved now. I took off and flew towards Twilight's house. It took less than 2 minutes to get there. I dashed in and locked the door behind me. "Twilight?" I called. She didn't answer, but Spike came down the stairs.

"She left to look for you bro."

"Why? Does she need my help for something?"

"Nah, she said something about you taking to long to gather data. She just took off. By the way, why aren't you wearing your shirt?" I looked at my bare chest and realized I had forgotten to grab it before racing with Dash.

"Awww crud!" I face-palmed myself. "I problably blew it away when me and Dash took off!" I'll never find it now!

"Guess you'll have to talk to Rarity again." I sighed. Spike was right. Spending another 4 hours getting measured wasn't ideal, but it would have to be done.

"Yeah you're right Spike. If Twilight comes back tell her I'm at Rarity's." I started to leave.

"Oh by the way Sharky..." Some smoke had begun curling out of his nose.

"Yes Spike?"

"I saw you and Twilight this morning. You had better not hurt my sister, or I'll get you!" After he said that I opened my mouth to ask what he meant, but he was already gone. I unlocked the door and started walking towards the boutique. I spent the entire walk wondering what Spike had meant.

Well look, Rainbow Dash finally got some lines in the story. Oh yeah, SHARKY IS AN IDIOT! It almost hurts writing someone this ignorant, and I'm just like him! Also, it seems everyone is falling behind with reading, should I slow down?

Unsettling

I thought and thought, but I couldn't figure out what Spike meant. I would never hurt her on purpose. Maybe he just didn't know that and wanted to make sure I didn't think about attacking her. Then again, maybe I was hurting her on accident somehow and he was trying to tell me? Gragh... All this thinking isn't getting me anywhere... I could see the Carousel Boutique now. I picked up my pace as if trying to run from my own thoughts. I knocked on the door to the Carousel Boutique and waited for Rarity. After waiting for a few minutes I was about to leave because I thought she'd left, but then I heard her trot up to the door. She opened it and her eyes lit up when she saw me.

"Oh hi Sharky!" She gave me a broad smile. Then she looked at my chest. "Spike burn your clothes again?" I laughed.

"No, I lost my shirt." She looked shocked, but didn't look away from my chest.

"How do you lose a shirt when you only have one?!" I looked down at my chest to see what she found so interesting. I was muscular, I guess, but she's a pony. Why would it matter to her? I put it up to me imagining things again.

"I was trying to use these babies--" I spread my wings. They had started to shrink, but were still fairly large. Rarity gawked at them open-mouthed. "So I had to take off my shirt. I failed to remember where I placed it though, so I couldn't find it afterwards."

"Wherever did you get wings dear? For that matter, where did your horn go?" I sighed. I didn't realize I'd have to explain this to everypony. I walked into her house and took a seat in one of the available chairs. I told Rarity how the magic worked. It took about another half hour for me to explain it all to her. She didn't look like she understood, but nodded anyway.

Man, I wish Twilight wasn't the only one I could talk science with... I thought to myself.

"I suppose you need me to make you a shirt hmm?" I blushed. Was I that obvious already?

"Yeah, I wish we didn't have to keep meeting without all my clothing, but unfortunately we are." Rarity giggled.

"It doesn't bother me dear." Were she human that statement might have meant something to me, but I just assumed it meant not wearing my clothes didn't affect her.

"Thanks Rarity." I sent her a warm smile. "Should we get to measuring?" I asked.

"...Yes, that would be...nice." She said. I sat down with my legs crossed so she could reach my upper body. She started measuring again, still not using magic to hold the measuring tape. I didn't question her or complain about it though.

"So about payment..." I started.

"No, don't even mention it dear. That white diamond you gave me is worth enough to cover quite a few orders."

"You're too generous Rarity." I inwardly laughed at my own joke.

"Well thank you Sharky." She rubbed my back a little when she said thank you. It felt odd.

*POMF*

"Umm Rarity, could you stop that?" I asked.

"Why? You clearly don't mind it." She said indicating my wings.

"Actually I do. It feels weird. Can you please stop?" She didn't stop right away, but she did stop. "Thanks Rarity, I know you were just being friendly, but I can't help my reactions."

"Think nothing of it dear." She said. She continued to measure me.

"WHERE WERE YOU?!" Four and a half hours later, I had grown a white horn, my wings were gone, Rarity had finished measuring me and was now making a shirt. About twenty seconds ago, Twilight had come in and located me immediately.

"Twilight!" I yelled happily. Totally oblivious to her anger. I ran over and gave her a hug. She relaxed in my arms and hugged me back. Rarity mumbled something. "Good to see you buddy!" When I said that she tensed up again and dropped the hug. Rarity snickered.

"Where were you?" She asked again, more quietly this time. "You were supposed to come back after the horn disappeared!" I let go of her and gave her a skeptical stare. She was acting weird again.

"Well I let the horn disappear, then decided to gather data on the effect of copying pegasus magic." I turned and saw Rarity about to put a ruby on my shirt. "Rarity dear, don't you think a sapphire would compliment my skin tone better?"

"...Oh of course dear, what WAS I thinking. I'll be right back." She trotted into another room. I turned back to Twilight and prepared to give her my data, but then got a really confused look from her.

"What the buck was that?" She asked. "You're suddenly a fashion expert now?" I looked confused right back at her. Then I thought and looked up at my horn. (which of course meant I tilted my head back and only succeded in moving the horn out of my vision again.)

"Problably a side effect of mimicking Rarity's magic." I figured. Twilight seemed to agree.

"You had me scared to death you know." I cringed.

"Why, it's not like I was doing anything dangerous..."

"Well how was I supposed to know?!" She shouted. "And what am I supposed to think when I find this--" She levitated my old shirt off her back. It was torn and ripped all over. "Next to Everfree Forest?!" I gasped in terror. She must have thought I was....

"Oh I'm so sorry Twilight!" I pulled her into another hug. "It won't happen again. I'll come home as promised next time!"

"So...What pegasus were you mimicking?" She asked intently. She was trying to change the subject. I gues she didn't like thinking about me dying...

"Rainbow Dash." Twilight relaxed a little. "I even managed to beat her in a race!" I exclaimed. Twilight looked terrified.

"She didn't hurt you did she?!?" She asked in a panic. She rubbed the small bruise on my cheek. I gave her another confused look.

"No, well she did hit me on the cheek, but I earned it. Why would she hurt me otherwise?" Twilight relaxed a little.

"Well Dash can sometimes be...a sore loser." I thought about that.

"Well she was a bit mad at first, but then she started talking about how I was the first 'pony' to ever beat her in a race. Then she looked at me like she was hungry or something and Invited me over to her house." Twilight then looked very angry and tensed every muscle in her body.

"You didn't go did you?" She hissed through her teeth. I was getting more confused by the minute. Why would it matter if I had?

"Noooo...I wanted to share the data I had gathered with you, so I left. Are you ok Twilight?" She looked less tense since I told her that, but not less angry. I didn't know what to do, so I just pulled her into my lap and hugged her. She let out a deep sigh and hugged me back. I stroked her mane and held her. She shifted a little and started nuzzling my neck. I wasn't sure how to react, but It felt...strange, so I pushed her away. She looked....disappointed, but didn't speak. I wasn't happy with her looking upset, but at least she didn't look mad or tense anymore.

"Here it is~" Rarity sang as she trotted back in with a light blue sapphire. She attached it to the center of the chest of the shirt and magically carried it over to me.

"Thanks Rarity!" I shouted as I grabbed the shirt and hugged her. "You're amazing!" She hugged me back and I heard gritting teeth behind me. I didn't see it, but Rarity stuck out her tounge at Twilight. I did hear Twilight gasp however. I let go of Rarity and turned to Twilight. "Is something wrong?" She looked angry again. "Twilight are you feeling ok?"

"No, no I'm not. would you mind taking me home?" I slipped on my new shirt. I was still concerned about Twilight, but decided not to question her in front of Rarity.

"Not at all!" I said. I picked her up (force of habit I guess) and carried her to the door. "Thanks again Rarity!" I sent another smile her way. She smiled back.

"Think nothing of it dear!" I didn't see it, but on my way out, Twilight stuck her tounge out at Rarity. The sun was going down when I left. I carried Twilight home and took her up to bed again. Spike was already asleep in his little bed. I put Twilight In bed and tucked her in. She started shivering. "Are you cold Twilight?" I asked with concern. She was starting to worry me. She was having odd moods, and now she was shivering! I hope she isn't sick!

"Yeah. It's really cold in here." I didn't feel very cold, but it WAS winter, and she was a lot smaller than me. It would be easy for her to be cold while I wasn't.

"I'll get you another blanket."

"No! Umm, how about you just lay down with me? That would help much more." I thought about that claim for a second. Providing additional body heat would work more than just trapping more of her body heat. She had a point.

"Hmmmm... You're right Twilight." I lifted the covers and squeezed myself into bed with her. It was a small bed, so we had to spoon to fit together. I started blushing a little due to the position. "T-t-this is the only way I can fit in your bed. Are you sure you want me to be here?"

"Yes, this is really nice. I already feel warmer." I felt really...odd, but I was helping Twilight so I didn't move. We just sat like that for a little while and I filled her in on the details of my day. Soon after that she fell asleep. My current horn shrank back down into my head and a new one was starting the growth process. I would've fallen asleep too, but Twilight wiggled and made weird sounds in her sleep. She mumbled my name a few times, but I didn't know what to think about that.. When she strarted wiggling her rear though...The growth of my horn was rapidly accelerated. (oh, did you think I meant the one on my head?) I jumped out of the bed and went to take a cold shower. I just stood in the water for about 20 minutes. I towled myself off and got dressed again. I went over to Spike's bed and put my hand on his side. He was as warm, if not warmer than I was. I picked him up and placed him underneath Twilight's blanket. He would keep her plenty warm. I then walked downstairs and curled up in the corner I had tried to sleep in last night. I laid there and felt terrible for my reaction to that innoccent little pony. Eventually I realized how tired I was from all my flying. Not eating at all certainly didn't help. At least I finally got to that shower. I then settled down and tried to sleep. It didn't come quickly, but I did eventually fall asleep. I tossed and turned all night and had all sorts of dreams.

Yeah I know it's a shorter chapter, but I'm trying the best I can. I'll make sure to write longer chapters later. I'll still be up for a few hours to respond to any comments, so please feel free to ask questions or whatever.

I need a job

Sorry this chapter took so long to write, I was busy till like 12 o' clock because I had to--Wait you don't give a f*** about my personal life! Here's your chapter.

"Dang it!" Twilight yelled when she woke up. Sharky had left in her sleep. "*sigh*...Maybe he just doesn't care about me..." She said sadly. "No, that can't be it, he got into bed with me to keep me warm. He must care! Oh, and look, he put Spike here to keep me warm, he thought of me." She reassured herself. "He problably had to deal with something... or went off to experiment more..." She sighed again. "It is nice to meet someone else interested in science, but come on!" She got up and trotted to the bathroom. She took a long bath and thought. When she got out the sun still hadn't come out. She toweled off her coat, but let her mane air-dry. She trotted downstairs and saw Sharky curled up in a corner. "Oh no! I never even set up a guest bed for you did I?" She chided herself. She trotted over to him and saw that he was still asleep. His face was contorted and he didn't look like he was resting well at all. "Maybe if I just lay with him for a second he'll feel better..." Twilight knew she was taking advantage of his bad dream, but she tried not to think about it. She curled up on her side next to him. He stopped shaking when she did. She was staring right at his face and her gaze locked on his lips. "He's asleep. He never has to know..." She mused. She inched her face closer to his and closed her eyes. She could feel his breath on her muzzle. It was warm and relaxing. She almost reached his lips, but her nose bumped into his! His eyes flickered open. Uh Oh! Twilight thought to herself.

"Mmmmm... huh? Wet-mane Twilight?" He gave a short laugh. "For once, I like where this dream is going." He then closed his eyes again and wrapped an arm around Twilight. She had been holding her breath, but let it out when he closed his eyes. After a little while his breathing evened out and she knew he was asleep. She closed her eyes and kissed him on the cheek.

"G'night Sharky..." She said, very interested in what he had said while awake. She thought about it for awhile and became very happy. I do have a chance! She cheered in her head. Then he mumbled Fluttershy's and Rarity's names and she was mad all over again. She sighed and gave up on trying to figure out Sharky for now. She closed her eyes and fell asleep.

"Hmmm? Oh good morning Twilight." I said as I walked in the kitchen groggily. She was sitting at the table reading.

"Hm... Oh... Yes, good morning Sharky." She looked at me and blushed. (Geez she blushes a LOT) "I made you breakfast!" She blurted out as she pointed to a plate across from her.

"Well thank you!" I shouted. "You shouldn't have!" I went over and sat down. The plate had a piece of buttered toast, some fruit slices, and one sunny-side-up egg. I dug in hungrily. It was pretty good. "Wow Twilight! I didn't take you as the cooking type!"

"Well it was kind of an experiment really." She turned her book around and pointed to the chapter name.

"Cook and present a simple breakfast." I read aloud. "So you decided to make me your test monkey?" I said, faking anger. Her ears flattened and she looked upset. (I said it before, I'll say it again. I'm a dick.)

"Oh...I'm sorry I didn't mean to off--"

"Bwahaha! I'm kidding Twilight! It was delicious, thank you!" She gave me an angry stare, but then her face softened.

"No problem Sharky, I'm glad you liked it." She smiled. "So what do you plan on doing today?" I thought for a second.

"I think it's about time I got a job." Twilight's eyes widened.

"No! If you get a job you have to leave more often!" Twilight shouted. She blushed again when she realized what she yelled.

"Don't worry, I won't leave the city limits. You don't have to worry about me getting hurt." I said, figuring she was still scared after finding my torn-up shirt yesterday. "I think I'll start at Sweet Apple Acres." I dashed out the door.

"Wait!" Twilight yelled after me, but I was already gone. She sighed. "...That...HUMAN!" She shouted angrily. She lifted up her book and hit the table in frustration. Had Sharky been there, just for that moment, he would've seen that the book was entitled: "101 Tips to Help You Snare that Stallion" Twilight sighed. "Well... Check item number one off..."

I set off running at a brisk pace, when suddenly I realized something. I was running through snow, the trees wouldn't be needing care right now! I cursed my own stupidity. I then turned back around and decided to see if I could find work with Fluttershy. Then I realized, IT'S WINTER. Still no work for me there. I decided to head to town. I contemplated working with Rarity, but I have no fashion sense. Nope. Working with Rainbow Dash? No, I couldn't retain magic long enough yet. Plus, she acted funny. Twilight's only job I knew of was being Celestia's student, and I'm pretty sure I couldn't do that! Well that covered about all the mane 6 except--

"Oh hi Sharky How are you? I'm great I've just been really busy at Sugarcube Corner. Anyway, Rarity was bragging about how good of a cook you were and I was wondering if you would mind helping me and the Cakes out because we get a lot of orders during the winter and it's really hard to keep up with even with my speed and I'm really fast when it comes to baking cakes and why do you have a purple horn?" I blinked a few times to clear my head and looked down at the pink pony. She had finally stopped. I had to wait for a second before everything she had said straightened itself out in my head. Luckily I was a little more ready for it after having seen her for the first time.

"Well the horn wouldn't make sense even if I explained it to you, but did you say you needed help at Sugarcube Corner?" She noded so fast her head looked like a blur.

"Eeyup that's what I said because we are really backed up on orders because we had to put all our orders aside to deal with Hearth's Warming day and New Year's day orders, so now we have to deal with all the orders we put aside and we're still getting new orders so we're getting really far behind and we're gonna start losing customers unless we get more help!" I was really happy for the job offer, but one thing still didn't make sense.

"If you guys are so far behind, why aren't you there helping still?" She gave me a weird stare.

"Because when the Cakes heard about you from Rarity, they asked me to go find you immediately!"

"Aww that's nice of them, I'd be happy to help! Will you show me to Sugarcube Corner?"

"Sure!" She said happily. She started bouncing off in one direction. I had to jog to keep up with her. After only about 2 minutes, Sugarcube corner came into view. She bounced in and I followed her into the kitchen. I was assulted by a storm of flour and egg as I walked in. The Cakes were BLAZING through the kitchen. No seriously! I'm pretty sure they were leaving skid marks! The first thing I noticed was how inefficient hooves were in a kitchen. They were whisking, cracking eggs, and pulling out pans with their mouths. I guess it was considered normal here though, so I wasn't too thrown off.

"Hello there!" I shouted over the noise. The Cakes both looked at me and their mouths dropped open.

"MONSTER!!" They yelled at the same time. Damn, I guess they weren't at the New Year's party. I sighed loudly.

"I'm not a monster! I'm here to help you bake! I'm Sharky, nice to meet you." They closed their mouths and looked less afraid, but were still wary.

"Oh, sorry friend. Nopony told us you'd be so...different. Or so tall..." Mr. Cake explained. I laughed.

"Don't worry about it!" I reassured. "So, where do I start?" He thought for a moment.

"Why don't you help Pinkie?" He suggested. "She's making the batter for orders right now." I nodded and walked over to Pinkie Pie. She was moving freakin' FAST, but she couldn't work very efficiently. No hands and all, you know how it is. She was moving WAAAYYYYY faster than I was, but I was still getting more work done. ( Fingers biatch ) Eventually we got into a rhythm where she ran and got me things needed for mixing and I prepared the batter when she did. After about the first hour I started to feel really...bouncy. Like I just got an injection of pure sugar. I could feel my hair curling up.

So this is Pinkie magic huh? I got the sudden urge to break a wall, but not a literal one. I don't know what that's about. We soon finished about 100 batters and had to wait because the Cake's ovens couldn't keep up. The ovens here worked rather quickly, so that was a big deal. We decided to help decorate the already finished cakes. This job was more fun because I got to apply my inner artist. I made a wedding cake, a birthday cake, a retirement cake, a ping pong tournament cake (wait what?), and even a filly shower cake. After that the Cakes caught back up on the batters so we went back to making that. We worked for 8 hours straight alternating between making batter and decorating. Normally after a hectic day like that I would have been tired, but I am SOOOOPER high on Pinkie magic right now.

"Thanks for the help Sharky it was really nice of you to stop what you were doing and help me because I'm sure that you're busy and all but you still helped us and that was nice. Anyway I got your payment right here!" She handed me a few bits of different colors with her mouth. One was gold, 2 were silver, and there were 5 copper ones.

Wow, Coal Buck was right about the currency here. I thought to myself. "It was really no problem Pinkie, I really liked working here, it was a lot of fun, in fact I don't even feel like I should be paid, it was more like a game than work. Anyway Twilight is problably wanting me back home right about now so I should go."

"Ok, have fun with Twilight! I'll see you back here tomorrow right?"

"Wouldn't miss it for the world!" I yelled over my shoulder. My hair was now pink and curly and every step I took made me bounce. I decided the bouncing was fun and started skip-bouncing. Each bounce made me jump about as high as Super Mario. I laughed at myself. "WAHOOOO!" I started shouting with each jump, mimicking the red-capped hero's accent. I bounced next to a light post and all the sudden I was standing on top of it. I looked around in confusion for a second until I realized what happened. "YES!! I GOT PINKIE PHYSICS!!!" I jumped into the nearest tree and ended up tumbling down the stairs in Twilight's house. Just as planned. Yeah ok, I really had no idea what would happen, but it was a good bet. "Twilight I'm home!!!" I shouted. Spike peeked his head around a corner.

"Twilight left to do...something. Dude, why's your hair pink?" He asked.

"Oh that? Well you see I'm from a low-magic planet so when I came here the magic started copying the nearest magic being and changed me to match it, so whenever I stay around somepony for awhile I get their powers and look kinda like them. Well actually this is the first time my hair has changed, usually only the parts of me that have to do with the magic I copy change but I guess that since Pinkie is an earth pony my physical appearance changed as well as my natural abilities." He looked totally unfazed by my speech speed. I guess he's used to Pinkie Pie.

"I'm gonna tell you the same thing I told Twilight when she explained this to me...: WHAAAAT?" He looked totally confused. I sighed again. I tried to focus on expelling the Pinkie magic so I could talk slower. Suprisingly it worked, and I managed to calm down enough to be coherent.

"Look..." I said with an annoyed tone. "It would be easier for me to show you."

"Spiiike I'm back!" Twilight yelled as she came in. She climbed up the stairs to her bedroom and saw Spike asleep in his bed, but that's not all. "D'AWWWWW!!" She squealed. Sleeping right beside Spike was a toddler-sized Sharky, sound asleep as well. She levitated Sharky to herself, baggy clothes and all. She nuzzled his face and trotted over to her bed. She got under the blanket and placed Sharky right next to her. Soon after that she fell asleep, totally forgetting he would absorb her magic now and be full-sized in a few hours.

I'm gonna show you guys the songs I use for inspiration. Here, here, and here. Yeah, I know I'm weird. I listen to the originals, but I figured you guys would appreciate these more.

The oddest pegasus

The following charecter is based off of my best friend. It wouldn't feel right to NOT have him with me in Equestria. I know I'm not gonna bring him into there, but here's pony him!
NOTE: Sharky only knows about events up to the episode "A friend in deed"

Twilight woke up with the feeling of Sharky's breath on her neck. He had reached out and wrapped both of his arms around her in his sleep. She took a second to admire how well the curve of their bodies fit together. She wiggled her body against his to get more comfortable then sighed.

"Finally." She whispered. Then, she went back to sleep.

Sharky woke up next to a gently snoring Twilight. How the hell did I get here? I thought to myself, then I figured it out. Oh no! I must have gotten into her bed in my sleep! I'm a terrible person! What kinda guy takes advantage of the fact that somepony is sleeping?! I unwrapped my arms from her body. I then crawled out of the bed and ran outside as quickly as I could. I didn't stop running there. I kept running right down the path that led to Fluttershy's house. I finally stopped about halfway there.

"GRAAAAAAGH!!! WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?!" I yelled into the sky. I pounded the snow angrily. "I'M TAKING ADVANTAGE OF PONIES!!! IF THAT DREAM WITH WET-MANE TWILIGHT WASN'T BAD ENOUGH, NOW I'M SNEAKING INTO BED WITH THEM!!!" When I remembered my dream I stopped for a second then buried my head in the snow. "mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmph!!" My scream was muffled by the snow. I pulled my head back up and melted snow ran down my face like tears. "Dammit Sharky, they're PONIES. They don't think of you that way! You should stop having these thoughts RIGHT NOW. Besides, even if they did like you, you shouldn't be ready for a new relationship right now..." I drifted off as I remebered the state I had been in when I came here. I remembered the pain as my heart was ripped out. My future wife had been with another man. As I came to grips with it, instead of crying, I went back to my old ways from Earth. I hardened my heart and punched myself in the jaw to stop the tears. (Hey, it works.) Then I wiped my face clean of all expressions and melted snow. I sat there for a few minutes, hardening my emotional armor. Had I finished building it, I would've walked around as an emotionless husk for the rest of my life in Equestria. Luckily, fate had other plans. I heard an impact behind me as if something had hit the ground. I turned around, and behind me was a Big Mac-sized, black-gray pegasus. His mane was yellow, but the style of it reminded him of sonic the hedgehog. Same thing with his tail. He had a lightning storm for a cutie mark. He stared right into my eyes. After about 5 seconds of staring he smiled and sat on his haunches.

"Hello, friend." He said simply. I gave him a burning glare.

"I want to be alone!" I hissed at him. He shook his head.

"No you don't. I can see it in your eyes. Who hurt you so bad?" I just sat there dumbfounded. In 5 seconds he had blown past all my outer armor. It made me have a flashback to a time when I was a kid.

*sniffle*

"Hey there kid. What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Go away." I yelled.

"I don't believe you." I turned to look at the intruder. He gasped. "Who hurt you so bad?" He pointed to the bruises on my face. I had been attacked by the school bullies.

That boy had understood me. He was bullied too, as it was. We had decided to work together and managed to beat down the bullies that had opressed us so long. He had been one of the greatest influences in my life. It was him who had encouraged me to try cooking, him who had encouraged me to try out for hurdling, him who encouraged me to chase my dream of being a marine biologist. He had also been the one that had encouraged me to go after the hot college girl, but I'm willing to overlook that one. In a second all those thoughts flooded to me, and my emotional armor shattered.

Twilight woke up again, noticing a distinct lack of Sharky. "DANG IT!" She yelled helplessly. Spike woke up to this, but when he saw her expression, he knew who the problem was. He rolled his eyes and went back to sleep.

I was crying. Dammit, what is with Equestria and crying? I thought to myself. The pegasus was sitting next to me and patting my back.

"Just let it all out..." He said softly. I cried a little more, then composed myself and wiped my eyes on the sleve of my shirt.

"Thanks... Wait a minute, you don't even know me!" I said as I jumped up. He smiled.

"No, I don't, but I can see you're a good...whatever it is you are." I frowned.

"How do you know that?" He gave me a stare that felt like he was looking right through me.

"The eyes are the gateway to the soul." He said very seriously. I gasped. "That, and Rainbow Dash told me about you." I stared at him. Then we both burst out laughing. When we finally stopped I asked him another question.

"So, how do you know Rainbow Dash?"

"We work together controlling the weather." Then his eyes widened. "Ooooh! I made a ryhme!" He laughed at himself. His laughter was freakin' infectious. I started laughing too. Geez this guy WAS just like my Earth friend. Except...alive. I sobered up again. He noticed that I had stopped laughing. "Hey, what's wrong now?" He asked. I sighed.

"It's nothing. You just remind me of...of a really good friend of mine..." Before I could start crying again he started hovering in front of my face.

"Well thats because I AM a good friend of yours now!" I started laughing again. He laughed with me.

"So, what's you're name buddy?" I asked.

"Oh, I'm Storm Seeker." I was suprised by his name.

"Dude, that is the most bad-ass pony name I've ever heard. How'd you get it?"

"Well you see, I have a bad habit of flying face-first into storms. I often get struck by lightning in the clouds, which is why my mane and tail stand out like this. No one wanted me to be trotting around with the name 'lightning rod' so they call me Storm Seeker. By the way, why'd you just call me a bad donkey?" I nodded in understanding.

"Oh, bad-ass is a compliment in my world. And your name makes sense, and I'm--"

"Sharky White, I know." He interrupted. I gasped.

"H-how'd you know that?" He landed and looked at me.

"Rainbow Dash." He said simply.

"Oh..." He began to look nervous.

"So umm, do you uh... spend a lot of time with Rainbow Dash?" He asked. I thought for a moment.

"Hmm not really. I beat her in a race once, but I haven't really gotten to spend much time with her, why?"

"Well, she just seems really... impressed with you." He said. He stared at me intently, looking for a reaction I suppose.

"She said that? Well thats awfully nice of her!" I said absentmindedly. His stare intensified.

"I don't think you understand me. She's really really REALLY IMPRESSED with you." He put a lot of emphasis on the word impressed. I gave him a quizzical look.

"No I heard you the first time, I SAID that's awfully nice of her." He shook his head.

"You're hopeless dude." He said in that annoying matter-of-fact tone.

"What's that supposed to mean?" He laughed.

"It means that the truth is gonna hit you like a brick wall." He said cryptically. I just shook my head and looked at the sky. The sun was just now starting to come out. I yawned as I realized how early it was. Then I had a thought.

"Hey, you wanna go visit Fluttershy? I'm sure she gets really lonely during the winter." He thought for a moment.

"I never really thought about it before, but you're right." He mused. "Lets go see if she wants company." We started walking off in the direction of Fluttershy's house.

After about 15 minutes of walking and talking about nothing of particular intrest up to this point (lets see you recognize that refrence) we got to Fluttershy's house. Stormy knocked on the door. (What's that? I can't call him Stormy? It takes away from his bad-assness? Well f*** you buddy. I can call him what I want.) Fluttershy squeed from the inside of her home.

"Ooooh~ company!" She squealed. She threw the door open and looked at Stormy. "Oh... hi Storm Seeker." She said. She must know him pretty well because she didn't hide behind her mane or anything. "Sorry I'm not more excited... I was just kinda hoping--"

"Hey Fluttershy!" I interrupted. She looked past Stormy and saw me. She beamed at me, then she blushed and started hiding behind her mane.

"Oh...hi Sharky..." She mumbled. I was a little upset. She was scared of me again?

"Fluttershy, why are you scared of me again? I thought we were good friends now..." Her face popped out from behind her mane.

"Oh, I'm not scared!" She blurted. She then blushed again and hid behind her mane. Stormy had been looking at her then slowly turning his head towrds me the entire time. He started bumping my leg with his shoulder. I looked down at him and he started pointing the side of his head at Fluttershy.

"Ehm... ehm. ehm." He started clearing his throat as he motioned his head.

"Are you ok Stormy?" He rolled his eyes and sighed. I decided to ignore him and turned back to Fluttershy. "May we come in?"

"Oh...um...please do...if you don't mind." I kicked the snow off my shoes and stepped in. The entire time Fluttershy never moved her head out of her mane. Stormy stomped all his hooves then walked in too. Fluttershy motioned to a couch and we sat down. It was quiet for awhile, but not akward quiet, more like 'at peace' quiet. My stomach broke the silence. Both of them looked at me and I blushed.

"That's what I get for only eating two meals and some sweets since I got here." I groaned. Fluttershy jumped up.

"Oh you poor thing!" She shouted. "I'll make you something really quick!" She darted off. Stormy gave me a funny look.

"What?" I asked him. He shook his head.

"Do mares act like that--" He pointed in Fluttershy's direction. "All the time?" I thought for a moment.

"Shy? No, not really. It's usually just her." He sighed and shook his head some more.

"You have got to be the smartest IDIOT I've ever met." I was gonna give him a smart remark right back, but Fluttershy ran in right then.

"Oh, I forgot to ask, what do you eat? I've got apples, oranges, carrots, birdseed, steaks, eggs--"

"Wait, you have WHAT?!?" I shouted in disbelief. Did she just say STEAK?! "You have MEAT here Fluttershy?!" She didn't bat an eyelash at my outburst.

"Well an animal pony like me has to get over the fact that not everything out there is a vegetarian like me, so I have it for some of my animal friends." Stormy looked just as shocked as me. "Anyway, you look like an omnivore--" I wondered how she could tell by looking at me. "So if you want some, please eat it. It'll go bad by the end of winter anyway and I hate to waste." I was so thrown off by how calm she was with this. I really didn't think it would make a good impression on Stormy, but my stomach gave me away. Fluttershy gave me a small smile. "I'll take that as a yes." She trotted off. I sat there open-mouthed. Stormy looked at me and asked exactaly what I was thinking.

"Did that just happen?!" I just sat there open-mouthed and shrugged. I heard sizzling in the kitchen and almost fainted. This shit was really happening. My world just flipped. Me and Stormy just sat there for about 15 minutes staring at each other open-mouthed. When Fluttershy walked in balancing a plate with a steak on it on her wing... I did faint. I was promptly woken up by a hoof to my cheek. Stormy had punched me.

Damn I faint too much. I thought to myself. Fluttershy set the plate down in front of me. I wanted to vomit because the idea of eating meat in front of these ponies made me sick, but at the same time I wanted to wolf down the steak. I decided to comprimise. "I'm so sorry!" I said to both of the ponies. I picked up the plate and ran outside. I am not proud of myself for what happened next. I won't even go into it. I didn't even have a fork or knife....*shudder* After I finished I wiped my face off and walked back into the tree. I felt so freakin' guilty. Fluttershy was handling this better than anypony ironically. She took the plate and trotted back into the kitchen. I sat down next to Stormy.

"Dude...." I flinched, waiting for the worst. "You are a BEAST!!" He didn't say it in a bad way, he was smiling at me a offering his hoof up for a brohoof. "Finally! A meat-eater on OUR side!" He cheered. I was stunned yet again. Damn these ponies and their ability to get over otherwise terrible things. Fluttershy trotted back in.

"I agree. It's nice to see somepony that can eat meat, but won't eat us. It's...nice..." She looked like she suddenly remembered she was shy and started blushing and hiding behind her mane again. About that time I remebered I had a job.

"Oh CRUD!!" I shouted. "I'm gonna be late to work!!" I ran over to Fluttershy and hugged her. "Thanks for understanding..." I whispered to her. She didn't move for a second, but then she kissed me on the cheek and hugged me back.

"No problem..." I released her and ran out the door. Stormy was right behind me, I have no idea why he was there, but it was nice to have him. About 10 minutes into the run Stormy started shouting.

"Wait...STOP!!!" I skidded to a halt and looked at him.

"What?" I yelled back. His pupils had shrank and his tail was inbetween his legs. "Whats wrong?"

"Don't you hear that? CAN'T YOU HEAR THAT?!" He was yelling. He was really starting to freak me out. "Manticore!!! He's been following us for the past 5 minutes!!" Right about then I heard a loud roar and a huge lion with a scorpion tail and bat wings charged out of the treeline right at me, roaring like a monster.

"OH FUCK!!!"

What I think when I write that ending: Finally I get to write some action!

What you think when you read that ending: Dammit, not the kind of action I was hoping for! Oh well...

For My Friends!

"Why the fuck aren't we still running?!" I shouted at Stormy.

"You can't outrun a manticore you idiot! If we had been still running he would've caught us at a disadvantage!"

"Wait...You want me to fight that thing!?" This thing was a beast! It was at least twice the size of the one in the series, so it TOWERED over me, or at least it will when it gets here.

"Unless you want to be his steak, YES!" I turned to analyze the combat situation like I did on Earth.

Ok, he's big. That should make him easier to throw off balance. I thought to myself. He's got wings, that means he can fly, so he must be a lot lighter than he looks. I'll wager I've got about 30 pounds on him. Let's see, at the rate he's going there's no way he can stop moving, he's trying to ram us and knock us to the ground. I waited till he was right on top of us, then dropped to the ground and let his front right foreleg hit my shoulder. He did tumble over on his side, but I was knocked clean off my feet too. Dammit, I forgot I've been taking in pegasus magic! My body's much lighter now! Guess I can't rely on a weight advantage.

"Whoa! How did you do that!?" Stormy yelled as he ran over to the manticore and bucked it in the face.

"Skill!" I shouted back to him. "Look out!" The manticore raised his front left paw and swiped Stormy away. He flew a good 5 feet before landing on his face. The manticore jumped back to his feet and I did the same. He charged at the downed Stormy, hoping for a quick kill, but I interrupted his charge by bashing into his right shoulder. He went down and I stumbled, but stayed upright. He swung at me with his tail on his way down, and gave me a huge gash on my left arm. I could feel the poison enter my bloodstream. It burned like hot coals in my veins. I gritted my teeth and let out a few silent tears. The pain held me immobile. The manticore stood back up and walked over to me. I could swear the bastard was grinning. He was right next to me, and he raised his paw for the killing blow, but out of nowhere Stormy slammed into his side and knocked him away from me. The manticore let out a howl and turned his head to bite Stormy. Stormy saw the incoming blow, but couldn't get out of the way fast enough. The manticore's jaws clamped around Stormy's middle, and he bit down. I could hear Stormy's ribs start to break. "NO!" I yelled. My own pain temporarily forgotten, I charged the manticore once more. I socked him right in his left eye. He howled in pain and dropped Stormy. Stormy twitched a few times, but I knew he wouldn't be getting up anytime soon. I had to beat this guy fast, or we're both gonna die just standing here. The manticore had taken a few steps back and was now circling me and Stormy. His eye was swelling, his face was bruised where Stormy had bucked it, he was limping a lot, and his right shoulder looked out of place. It didn't change the fact that he could still easily kick my ass unless I thought of something. I charged him again right as he ran at me. Right before we connected, I slid on my back and passed under him. I'm not proud of what I did next. As I slid under him I pulled my right arm back, and slammed my fist into his exposed coin purse. He HOWLED. Boy if he was pissed before, he was ENRAGED now. Luckily, his pain threw his judgement off. He tried to stab me with his tail by stabbing downward, but I side stepped and his tail buried itself in the dirt. I ran up to his buried tail and slammed my right elbow into one of the spaces inbetween the segments that made up his tail. It broke off, and I was sprayed with fluid. He was in so much pain, he didn't notice what I did next. I jumped up on his back, reached around his mane and started pulling out the hair from his mane around his throat. He howled some more, but he was obviously getting weaker. When enough of his hair was gone, I reached my arms around his throat, and squeezed for all I was worth. He started bucking and rolling on his back to try and get me off, but I remained unshaken. As I held on to him, I started mimicking his magic, and my shirt ripped off as I gained muscle mass. My pant legs ripped too, but thankfully stayed on. I continued to squeeze, and after about 5 minutes, he finally stopped. He fell over on his side. I lifted him a little so I could remove my arm. Because I had started to mimic his magic the poison was effecting me less, but I knew it wasn't enough. I searched around for a second, and found a sharp-looking rock. I then placed it on the manticore's exposed throat, and kicked it in. I had to make sure it was dead. I then walked over to Stormy, and picked him up. He was covered in blood.

"S-sharky?"

"Yeah buddy?"

"Did we get it?"

"Yeah...couldn't have done it without you bud."

"Thanks..." With that, he blacked out. He wasn't dead, I could still feel him breathing. I didn't know how long either of us was going to survive though, I could already feel the manticore's magic starting to fade. I took off in the direction of Ponyville at a sprint. About 5 minutes away from the city, my body gave out on me. The manticore's magic had faded and I was fading fast.

"I'm so sorry Stormy..." I mumbled as I blacked out.

"Guys, guys, he's waking up!!" I blinked my eyes to try and clear the fuzziness in my vision. I was to disorientated to figure out who was talking. I just laid where I was and tried to clear my pounding head.

"I-I'm al-al-alive?" I stuttered. My mouth felt like it was full of cotton. I looked around and saw the blurred forms of the mane six.

"Oh thank Celestia!" Twilight yelled. She thudded her head down on my chest and started crying. I wheezed, but tried not to move as she cried it out. Rarity and Fluttershy did the same.. Rainbow Dash teared up and ran out of sight.

"I'm ok too, thanks for asking." Said a sarcastic voice from across the room.

"Stormy!" I said with a smile. He looked at me and smiled back.

"That was a great way to spend our first morning as friends huh?" He said, still laying the sarcasm on thick.

"The best." I said with a grin. Rarity interrupted us.

"What were you doing anyway?" She asked through her sobs. I frowned.

"We...we got into a fight with a manticore..." They all gasped, then Rainbow appeared out of nowhere.

"You fought a MANTICORE?!" She gasped. "SWEET! That is so bad-flank!" She squealed. I blushed.

"No it's not, I only did it 'cause I couldn't outrun him. Even then I almost died...Speaking of which, not that I'm complaining, but why am I alive?"

"Well when you didn't show up for work I went looking for because you didn't seem like the kind of pony to miss work. So I bounced around town looking for you and somepony said they saw you heading down the path to Fluttershy's house so I went that way and I found you and Stormy unconcious on the ground so I dragged you to the hospital and here we are!" Pinkie Pie gushed. My disorientated brain couldn't handle the sudden rush of Pinkie speech, so I only caught the part where she dragged me back.

"Well thanks Pinkie Pie!" I shouted and opened my arms to offer the party pony a hug. She reached over the three mares on my chest and embraced me.

"You know half of the manticore fighting team is over here still!" Stormy interrupted.

"Oh right! Are you hurt bad Stormy?" I asked with concern in my voice.

"Well I got three gashes on my side from where he slashed me and teeth marks and broken ribs to spare, but other than that I'm fine." I gasped.

"Are you alright? You're gonna be fine right?!" He laughed.

"You're talking to the pegasus that takes lightning bolts to the head; I'll be just fine." He assured me. I let out a sigh of relief. Twilight stopped cying and looked at Stormy.

"You helped him fight the manticore right?" She asked Stormy.

"Eeyup he did!" I said proudly. "He saved my life in that fight!" Twilight trotted over to Stormy and gave him a big hug. Which made me a little mad for some reason...

"Thankyouthankyouthankyou!!!" She squealed while she embraced him. Stormy cleared his throat.

"Ehm...Not that I don't appreciate the attention...but PAIN!!!" He wheezed. Twilight released him.

"Oh...sorry." She trotted back over to me and Rarity finished sobbing. Rarity then slapped me with her hoof.

"How dare you make us worry like that!" She yelled at me. The slap didn't really hurt, Rarity isn't too strong, but I pretended it did for her benefit. I rubbed my jaw. (Damn, these ponies hit me more than I thought.)

"Oh because I was galavanting about the forest looking for a fight with a giant manticore. I'm sorry he charged out of the forest and attacked me in the open." I retorted sarcastically. Fluttershy spoke up.

"Oh...I'm sorry Sharky. This is my fault...." She murmered. I gave her a confused look.

"How in Equestria is a manticore attack your fault?"

"He problably could smell the steak I made for you..." She mumbled.

Oh crap... I thought to myself as every head in the room turned towards me.

"Did Fluttershy just say you ate meat?" Twilight asked.

"Well she didn't say that...but yes. I do.... I'm sorry..." They all gave me looks of disgust except for Fluttershy and Stormy. Thats when Fluttershy spoke up again.

"Now wait just a second! If you don't mind... Sharky is nice, and would never hurt anypony! Just because he eats meat, doesn't make him mean! You shouldn't treat him differently now because you know he isn't a vegetarian!" I was shocked, then I was really happy. The rest of the mane 6 looked ashamed.

"Thanks Fluttershy..." I whispered to her. She hugged me.

"She's right, we shoudn't judge ya' on what cha' eat. I'm mighty sorry Sharky..." Applejack apologized.

"Yeah, actually now that I think about it, it's cool we have a meat-eater on out side!" Rainbow Dash added. Stormy smiled.

"I agree, it was quite rude of me to change my opinion of you so quickly Sharky. I apologize." Rarity said.

"Yeah, I knew you were a nice pony, so I shouldn't have changed my mind because you ate meat. That would be like hating Spike because he eats gems, or hating me because I eat cake all the time, or even--" Pinkie Pie was cut short by a lavender hoof.

"They're right Sharky. Me of all ponies should know that you wouldn't do anything to hurt us." Twilight said bashfully. I put on a huge smile.

"Don't worry about it girls!" I reassured them. "I understand completely, I'm just happy you all could get over it so quickly."

"No problem, Sharky!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed. "Now, could you tell me how you beat the manticore?" I thought for a moment.

"Sure, on two conditions. One Fluttershy has to leave, I don't want her to hear this. Two, tell me why I'm not still poisoned."

"Oh, thats easy, I just cast an antidote spell on you." Twilight answered. Wow, I didn't think it worked that way. I asked Fluttershy to leave the room. She gave me a sad look, but left without a fight. Then Stormy and I reaccounted our fight with the manticore to the 5 girls left.

More clothes...

"...just to make sure he was dead." I finished. I had been looking down, ashamed of my fight. "I know it was only in self-defense, but I shouldn't kill things..." I felt even more terrible telling this to these innocent ponies. They were silent for awhile. I looked up and realized they were all grinning from ear to ear.

"Sharky... do you have any IDEA what you've done!?" Rarity asked happily. I was very confused. Why weren't they disgusted or horrified?

"Ummm... murdered an animal?" I asked helplessly. WTF is going on?

"Sharky... That manticore you just described is one of the only HOSTILE manticores in this area!" Twilight exclaimed. "Only a few manticores actively hunt us, the rest are much nicer. Do you have any idea how many ponies you just saved?" Now I was much happier.

"Yeah, and the violent manticores are HUGE, I can't believe you beat one! That is SO AWESOOOME!!" I don't even need to say who said that.

"Well... If you're sure it was a good thing..." I decided to change the subject. "Well as long as I'm not poisoned any more, I should get back to work."

"Are you crazy?!" Twilight yelled at me. "You're in no condition to work!"

"The only injury I had was a cut on my arm!" I held it up and it had almost completely healed anyway. "Now that I'm not poisoned anymore, I should be just fine." Twilight looked like she was going to argue, but she realized I was right and hung her head.

"Fine..." I pushed the mares off my chest and stood up. Then I realized my lack of clothes. I REALLY need to realize these things earlier. I groaned.

"Agh great... Rarity... I need your help again..." She looked at me and smiled.

"No problem dear!" She said with a strange smile. Twilight shot her a glare.

Geez these girls are confusing... I thought to myself. I followed Rarity out the door, and ran right into Fluttershy.

"Oh, hi Sharky..." She mumbled. "If you don't mind me asking... Where are you going?"

"I..uh.. Ripped my clothes...again... So I'm going to Rarity's house to get more." I blushed. I really need to get extras this time.

"Oh... Do you mind if I come?"

"Well I'm just gonna get some new clothes... You can come if you want I guess."

"Yay."

They all watched him leave. Then Pinkie Pie jumped up.

"Oh no! The Cakes still need my help!" She bolted out of the room. Then Rainbow Dash spoke up too.

"Oh yeah, I still have to help put the clouds together for the coming snow storm!" She zipped out of the room as well.

"Whew, Ah thought they'd never leave." Applejack sighed. "Now Twilight, tell me why yer actin' so funny." Twilight jumped.

"I don't know what you mean... Ah ha ha ha..." Twilight gave a nervous laugh. Applejack glared at her.

"Now don't gimme that. Somethin' is eatin at cha. You've been actin mighty strange lately, and ah wanna know what's goin' on." Twilight sighed.

"Ok Applejack... But you have to promise not to tell anypony!" Twilight stared at her intently.

"Fine, ah promise. Now tell me what the buck is goin' on!"

"I... well... um... I think I...--"

"For land's sakes just spit it out!"

"I like Sharky!" Twilight blurted. Applejack reared back, unready for that news.

"Well, um we all like 'im. He's a right good sort..." Applejack stammered.

"No Applejack... I LIKE him." Twilight put extra emphasis on the like to establish her point.

"Oh..." Applejack whispered. Twilight groaned.

"I knew it! I'm a terrible pony for thinking like this!" Twilight wailed.

"No no, I understand why ya like 'im, I just... wasn't expectin' it."

"So it's not bad?" Twilight sniffled

"Nah, Ah'm sure yer fine. The only question ah have, is what does he think of you?" Twilight sighed.

"I have no idea... I think he likes me too, but he never acts like he does..."

"Well, ah'm sure he'll come around eventually..." Stormy was amazed at their ability to forget he was in the room, but instead of interrupt them, he turned his head and pretended to sleep.

"...You know... I just thought of something."

"Hmm? What's that dear?" Rarity asked.

"Shouldn't you have my measurments from before on file or something?" She had been measuring me again for the past 3 and a half hours.

"Oh... well I would, but uhhhh... I... Forgot to file them! Yes, thats it. Now they're lost, hopelessly lost I'm afraid." I sighed at my bad luck.

"Well do you think that you could make the clothes stretchy this time? I don't want them breaking on accident again." Rarity's eyes darted around for a moment, she looked worried.

"Um... no I can't dear, no stretchy material on hand I'm afraid." She said. I sighed again.

"Guess I'll just have to be more careful then. Are you sure I can't pay you?" I changed the subject.

"Oh, heavens no darling! That white diamond you gave me will cover everything you could need for quite some time! Plus, I don't charge my close, personal, friends..." She put some odd emphasis on those last three words.

"Are they really THAT valuable here?" I asked. She sighed then answered with a suprising amount of enthusiasm.

"Heavens yes! They're the rarest gems in all Equestria!" She squealed. I laughed. "Now what is so funny dear?"

"Just the fact that here white diamonds are very valuable, but in my world we can MAKE them." Rarity gasped.

"YOU CAN MAKE THOSE?!?!" She shouted. I flinched at the volume.

"Yes, scientists in my world also set them on fire. For fun." Rarity looked woozy.

"I think I'm going to faint... Catch me!" She shouted as she fell over. She caught me by suprise, so I didn't react at first. Luckily I managed to catch her with her own magic before she hit the ground. I lifted her into my arms and looked at her. Eeyup. Out like a light. I sighed and carried her up to her room. It was already dark outside, I must have been unconcious for awhile. When I came back downstairs I almost ran into Fluttershy again.

"Hi Sharky."

"Fluttershy!" I yelled, I was a little suprised. She backed up a little and her ears flattened. "Sorry Fluttershy, I didn't expect you to be there." She straightened back up.

"Oh... It's no big deal." She mumbled. Geez she's cute when you can't understand a dang word she says because she's being so quiet. "Would you mind taking me home? I'm scared of the dark...." D'AWWWWW.

"No problem Fluttershy!" I said happily. She reached up to me with her forehooves, asking me to pick her up. I grinned and scooped her up with one arm. She nestled against my chest and we left the boutique. I started towards her house at a good pace, but as soon as we hit the trail I started running. I have this bad habit of imagining dangers, especially when I'm alone or in the dark. In my head I was being chased by large manticores with dripping fangs and large pointy tails.... Luckily, Fluttershy was with me or it would have been much worse for me. She started tapping my chest with her hoof.

"Are you ok Sharky?" I slowed my pace. She must be worried for me.

"Yeah... it's just...cold out here." I shivered as I realized I was telling the truth. There was snow on the ground and I was running around in ripped pants and no shirt. As if in response Fluttershy cuddled up closer to my chest.

"Don't worry Sharky, I'll keep you warm." She consoled me. D'AWWWWWW! How nice of her. My chest was warmer, but my legs and back were beggining to freeze. I took off again, immediately forgetting my imagined fears. We talked for the whole run about everything we could think of. It helped keep my mind off of how cold I was getting. We talked about her rabbit, the animals she cared for, how she had found each of her friend's pets (Except the owl of course), everything, except me. I tried very hard to avoid me and my world. Celestia forbid I acidentally mention hunters or something that would trauamtize the poor girl.

"Hey Fluttershy, could I get a pet?"

"YES! Oh yes! I love finding my friends new pets!" She said excitedly. She even flew out of my arms a little, but when I shivered she came back down and cuddled against my chest again. "Sorry..." I smiled.

"Don't worry about it." I reassured her. "Now, about this pet... What can I get?" She started rambling off a long list of animals she had for adoption. No cats or dogs for some reason, but there was something better. "Did you just say wolf puppy?" She nodded vigerously.

"Yes, he's a little pup I found all alone in the woods. He's one of the few animals that stay with me for the winter." She finished. I flinched. The one pet that sounded cool was the one that kept her company for the winter.

"Why didn't I see him last time I was at your house?" I asked.

"He was adventuring somewhere. He likes to go play." This wolf was starting to sound cooler every second. He didn't attack ponies, loved to play, AND was adventerous!

"How much does it cost to adopt that one?" I asked. She thought for a moment.

"Well...umm... normally it would be Three hundred bits, but I l-l-...think of you as a good friend, so I'll only charge two hundred." I didn't notice her stutter in the middle. I smiled.

"Ok, assuming I get paid the same amount of bits at work tomorrow as I did yesterday, I'll swing by here and pay for him tomorrow after work." She looked ecstatic.

"Oooooh~ Yay! I get to give another animal a new home!" She shouted. (well you know what I mean by shouted.) Then I started thinking.

Actually, I don't have a home to bring him to... I'm sure Twilight wouldn't appreciate a wolf puppy in her library, and Fluttershy needs company during the winter anyway... "Hey Fluttershy?"

"Hmm? Oh... Yes Sharky?" She was suddenly shy again.

"Would you mind looking after the puppy for awhile? Just until I can buy a house of my own..." She smiled at me.

"Sure I can Sharky... Hey Sharky?"

"Yes Fluttershy?"

"Are you going to try and run back to the library through all that?" She pointed behind me at the snow and the dark. My mind filled with dread as the imagined manticores sprung back to life.

"No, no, nope." I answered in quick sucession. "Would you mind if I stayed just for tonight?" I begged. I really didn't want to risk fighting another monster. She gave me a... odd smile, but it had a lot of warmth in it, so I didn't mind.

"Oh, please do stay... If you don't mind..." I laughed.

"Now why would I mind?" I asked.

"...Well I've only got one bed...." She mumbled. I laughed again.

"Don't worry, I'll just sleep on the floor."

"Oh no! You're my guest, I insist you take the bed."

"No, it's your house, you take it."

"Oh no, you're my friend, you take it." She argued.

"No, I couldn't do that, you take it." I said commandingly, hoping she'd be scared into accepting it. She did look scared, but she continued regardless.

"I-I've got an idea... What if we...s-s-s-s-s-s-s--"

"Share the bed?" I finished for her. She nodded shyly and started blushing and hiding her face. I thought about it. I didn't want to have to take up room on the bed, but she looked determined, so I gave in. "Fine, we'll share the bed" I mumbled.

"Yay." The yay was so silent, Sharky didn't hear it. They finally made it to Fluttershy's tree, and Fluttershy pointed me to the bedroom. Her bed was actually a lot bigger than Twilight's. We both fit in (with me bending my legs a little.) and laid down facing each other. I got transfixed by those giant, emerald eyes of hers. She fell asleep soon, and I was able to fall asleep after she closed her eyes.

"Shaaaaarky!" Twilight yelled when she got back to the library. She didn't get a response. She went up to the bedroom, hoping he had decided to sleep in the bed without persuasion tonight, but he wasn't there either. She decided to scry for him. She found him, asleep in bed with Fluttershy.

Cheater? WHUT?

I woke up staring at Fluttershy's closed eyes. I looked over her shoulder an saw that the wing she wasn't laying on was standing straight out. I laughed quietly, so as not to wake Fluttershy up. I reached over and pressed down on her wing to fold it back against her side.

*POMF* It sprung right back out. I laughed to myself again.

*POMF* *POMF* *POMF* *POMF* I kept pressing it down and letting it pop back up, laughing to myself the whole time. What can I say? I'm easily entertained. I got bored eventually, and got out of bed.

*POMF* My wing I had been laying on popped out.

"Ah crap..." I decided to go look for a bathroom. I found it after a few seconds of searching, and took a cold shower. After that I relieved myself and put my torn pants back on. Then I found the kitchen and got a glass of water. When I turned around, there was a flaming Twilight staring right at me.

"AHHH FIRE!!!" I yelled as I threw the water in my glass all over her. Oops.

"WHAT. ARE. YOU. DOING. HERE?!!" She shrieked. I stumbled backward and almost sat in the sink.

"Umm...Staying the night?" I mumbled.

"WHY DID YOU SLEEP WITH FLUTTERSHY THEN!?!'' She yelled even louder.

"Because we got into a fight over who would sleep on the floor..." I choked out. DAYUM TWILIGHT, YOU SCARY! I though to myself.

"AND YOUR FIGHT ENDED IN FLUTTERSHY'S BED?!? EXPLAIN HOW THAT HAPPENED!!" I was really freaking out now. Even though she wasn't on fire, she was still managing to look even more pissed.

"B-b-because she kept arguing, so we decided to share the bed..." Twilight seemed to calm down a little.

"So you only slept?" She asked calmly, but I could still hear the rage in her voice.

"Y-yes! What else would I have done?!" Twilight's anger was gone now. She blushed.

"N-nothing, nevermind..." She mumbled. I was too relieved to wonder why she was blushing.

"O-ok... Well I'm gonna go see if Rarity's conscious now..." I stuttered.

"Wait, why didn't you just come home last night?" She asked, totally not worrying about Rarity being unconscious. I blushed.

"Ummm... So who's this Celestia I keep hearing about?" I tried to change the subject. Twilight didn't buy it.

"Don't you dodge my question! Why didn't you come home?!" She was shouting again.

"ahfbhfjhdjb..." I mumbled really quietly.

"What was that!?" Twilight was still shouting.

"I-I-I'm... Afraid... of being alone in the dark..." I mumbled. I was really blushing now, my whole face felt hot! Twilight started tearing up, and I thought for a second that she was going to cry. Instead, she started laughing her flank off.

"BWAHAHAHAHAHA!! THAT'S THE FUNNIEST THING I'VE EVER HEARD!!" She was rolling on her back she was laughing so hard. I stood straight up and my blush disappeared.

"WELL AT LEAST FLUTTERSHY DIDN'T LAUGH AT ME!!" I yelled at her. I stalked away from her and slammed the door as I left Fluttershy's house. Fluttershy's wings were weak, but I still managed to fly away.

"Oh no! Now Sharky is never gonna like me..." Twilight mumbled. She was feeling terrible about laughing at him.

"You like Sharky?" Fluttershy said from the doorway to her room. Twilight turned bright red.

"Oh... um... n-no, that's not what I meant at all! Ah ah ha ha..." Twilight lied. Fluttershy looked like she didn't buy it.

"Twilight. You like Sharky." Fluttershy said. I was a statement, she knew. Twilight sighed.

"Y-yes, I do..." Twilight admitted. Fluttershy spoke up again.

"Well... I do too..." Fluttershy confessed. Twilight looked up at her, and Fluttershy was staring right at her, not acting shy at all. Twilight was shocked, then angry.

"YOU like him?!" Twilight said in disbelief. "No, no you can't!" Twilight said fiercely.

"Why not? All you've done, all anypony has done since they met me is boss me around!" Fluttershy was mad now. "I'm gonna like him if I want! If thats... No, wait. It IS ok!" She shouted. (Well, Fluttershouted.) Twilight was taken back.

"W-w-well, I'm not gonna let you have him!" Twilight challenged.

"Well, I won't let YOU have him!" Fluttershy spat right back. Twilight was totally shocked, she'd never seen Fluttershy act like this!

"I'm gonna get him first!" Twilight yelled at Fluttershy. Twilight then left in a huff, determined to make Sharky like her first. If Sharky could see what was happening, he'd stop it immediately, but he can't.

"RARITY!! ARE YOU HERE!?" I yelled as I opened the door to Carousel Boutique.

"No need to yell so loudly dear!" She shouted from her room.

"Hey, I've got to go to work soon, can you make me the clothes now?" Rarity started trotting down the stairs.

"Well... I haven't gotten all the necessary measurments yet..." She gave me a funny smile.

"BUCK IT! I'M GOING TO WORK SHIRTLESS!!" I yelled. I did NOT have the patience for another 4 hours of measurement. I needed to be in a fast-paced environment where I didn't have to wait for stuff to happen, and Pinkie Pie fit that description nicely. Besides, they are ponies, I'm sure they won't mind if I'm missing some clothes. Rarity was calling me, but I ignored her and walked towards Sugarcube Corner.

I got to Sugarcube Corner, and saw the Cakes talking with Pinkie Pie.

"Are you sure he's worth our wait? I mean what kind of employee doesn't show up for work on only their second day?!" Mr. Cake asked Pinkie Pie.

"The kind that got attacked by a manticore." I interrupted. Mr. and Mrs. Cake looked up at me and gasped.

"Oh... Sorry, we just--" Mrs. Cake started.

"No, don't worry, I understand." I reassured them. "I'm here now and that's all that matters. So what do you say we get to work?" I asked with a grin. The Cakes and Pinkie Pie smiled at me and we all walked into the kitchen. They didn't even question my lack of clothing, so I guess it really doesn't matter here. I washed my hands and immersed myself in the storm of flour and egg.

We managed to make-up what had been left over yesterday and even finished today's and some of tomorrow's work as well. I got paid the same as I had two days ago, which meant I had two hundred and fifty bits. (luckily the other ones had stayed in my pockets.) I was full of Pinkie Pie magic and decided to see if I could use the Pinkie Physics to get to Fluttershy's quicker. After jumping in about 20 trees, (I didn't teleport somewhere new every time. Darn.) I fell into Sweet Apple Acres.

Oh hey, I haven't even been here yet! I thought to myself. Might as well meet the Apple Family while I'm here. I had ended up in the back of the orchard, so I had a ways to walk to the house. I would have tried jumping in more trees, but I didn't want to risk ending up farther away. I soon reached the house. Big Mac was the only one in sight, so I walked over to introduce myself.

"Hey there!" I shouted cheerily. The Pinkie magic still had me bouncing and happy. He had been turned away from me, but he turned around and looked at me when he heard me shout. I expected him to freak out or yell or something, but he sat there calmly, like he had known me forever.

"Hi." He said simply.

"Hi." I returned. He stared at me intently for a while. I wasn't sure what to do, so I just stood still while he stared at me.

"Eeyup." He said. "You're alright." He then stood up, and walked away. I scratched my head, not sure what just happened.

"My name is Sharky by the way!" I shouted at him.

"Big Mac." He shouted over his shoulder.

Well that was... odd. And that's coming from the Pinkie human. I thought to myself. I could feel the Pinkie magic wearing off, so I decided to try one last tree. I jumped in the nearest tree, and fell down a tree next to Fluttershy's house. Oddly... convinent. I thought to myself. I stood up and walked to her door. I knocked.

"Hello? Oh... hi Sharky..." She said shyly when she opened the door.

Geez, her face is gonna become a part of her mane at this rate. I thought to myself as she buried her face in her mane again. "Hi Fluttershy!" I said with a grin. Then I frowned. "Twilight isn't here right?"

"Oh no, she left a little while after your fight." She said. I flinched.

"You heard that?" I groaned.

"Yes... I'm sorry..." I smiled at her again.

"It's Twilight's fault, not yours. Don't be sorry."

"Ok... if you say so..."

"Now, about that wolf puppy," I pulled the two gold bits from my pocket. "Here is the money you wanted for him!" I said proudly. Fluttershy smiled and took the coins. Then she whistled sharply. A little gray puppy came running out of the nearby forest.

"OHMYGOSHHE'SADORABLE!" I gushed. Clearly the Pinkie magic was still in effect. The little wolf ran up to Fluttershy and jumped into her chest. Fluttershy rolled onto her back with the impact. When she landed she was holding the little wolf with her hooves.

"Yes, he is really cute." She agreed. "Do you want to hold him?" I nodded and reached down to grab him. I lifted him out of Fluttershy's hooves and brought him up to my face. He gave me a curious look, then started licking my cheek. "Awww, he likes you!" Fluttershy gushed.

"Yeah, I think he does!" I said. He had started nibbling my nose, not in a mean way, but in the "I'm adorable, love me now" kind of way. I instantly loved this little wolf. I lowered him to my chest and hugged Fluttershy with my free arm. "Thanks Fluttershy! I love him!" She smiled at me.

"Glad to help." She said quietly.

"Mind if I play with him for awhile before I head home?" I asked. She gave me a "Well duh" look.

"Of course! He's your pet now!" She ushered me and the puppy out the door so we could play. I set him down on the ground and he started doing the "Let's play!" stance. The one where a dog lowers his head and stretches out his forelegs. You know, this one. He then dashed a short distance and turned back to me, inviting me to chase him. I took off after him and we played chase for about an hour. When I felt my teeth getting longer and more hair growing on my arms, I decided to stop. I caught him and scooped him up in my arms. I opened Fluttershy's door and placed him in her house.

"Thanks Fluttershy, he's great!" I smiled at her.

"Hey um... Sharky?" She muttered as I turned to leave.

"Yes Fluttershy?"

"Um... It's starting to get dark... do you... want to stay... with me?" She stuttered. I thought for a moment.

"Nah, there's enough light for me to get back, and I don't need Twilight any madder at me than I'm sure she is."

"Oh....... Ok....." I then closed the door and started jogging towards Ponyville. It was almost dark, so I didn't see the shadow hurtle towards me from the sky. I did hear the large *BOOM* as something hit the ground behind me. I turned around and saw a dark chariot.

"Princess Luna requests a meeting, Sharky." One of the shadow ponies pulling the chariot shouted at me.

GOD I LOVE CLIFFHANGERS!!!

The princess is always right!

Oh look, Luna's chariot. I thought to myself. then I did a mental double take. FUCK, LUNA'S CHARIOT!!! One of the ponies pulling it waved me over.

I was shaking in fear as I boarded the chariot. Why did Luna want me? Better yet, how did she know about me? I asked the ponies pulling the chariot these questions, but they didn't know either.

"Can you at least tell me how YOU knew how to find me?" I asked them.

"We were told you'd be something like we'd never seen. We were told to look in Ponyville, and look. Here you are, a freak." One of the ponies said gruffly. I was a bit insulted by the word freak. I'd heard monster before, but the way this pony said freak made me want to hit him. Is that bad? After I boarded the chariot, we took off into the fading light. These ponies weren't by any means fast, so it took a little while before we even got near Canterlot. It was completely dark by the time we arrived at the castle. I stepped off the chariot and onto a balcony. One of the ponies gave me directions to Luna's chambers.

"And DON'T waste time getting there!" He warned. the chariot then flew away and left me on the balcony... alone... in the dark... buck... I took off into the castle, desperately running from imagined monsters. I followed the pony's directions to the letter, desperate to find another living being to disperse my fear. I got further and further into the castle, going top speed as I tore through the halls. Were it day, or had I some company, I might have stopped to realize how HUGE the place was, or how beautiful the decorations were, but no, I was terrified of the monsters of my imagination. Eventually, I reached two gigantic doors, black as space, but with little dots of light on it. My fear lessened as it was replaced with nervousness. I tried to examine the dots on the door to calm myself. They resembled stars, and I could actually pick out constellations. Little Dipper, Big Dipper, Leo, etc. Something was wrong with them though, it's like they were slightly off.

"If thou would stop examining our door and enter, we would greatly appreciate it." A voice boomed from the other side. I nearly jumped out of my skin in shock. I gulped down my trepidation and pushed the door open. It didn't work, and I facepalmed myself as I realized it was a "pull" door. I heard laughter from the other side, and it gave me courage as I realized... She was a PONY. WTF did I have to fear from a pony? You know, except for the fact that she was the equivalent of a godess... Buck... I pulled the door open, and stepped onto the moon. Yeah, you read that right. Luna's bedroom, is the MOON. She was sitting on her haunches in front of a huge bed.

Huh, a bed on the moon. I thought to myself. I looked at Luna, and she stared right back at me. She was examining me, I could tell.

"So... uh... Why did you call me here?" I asked. She didn't answer for a little while. She continued examining me. When she was done, she looked into my eyes.

"We hath summoned you here to ensure you are not a threat to our denizens." She said it with such authority. I wouldn't have had to hear the guard call her a princess to know what she was. She was still staring at me.

"So, how do you plan to determine whether or not I'm a threat?" I asked. She gave me a scary look.

"Simple, we fight you." She stated simply. I just about crapped my pants.

"I'm sorry, WHAT?" I asked. There is NO way I heard that right.

"We will fight you." She said simply.

"Right... That's what I thought you said that." Eeyup. I'm asleep. I know it. I balled up my fist and punched myself in the face. Hard. Again. Eeyup, blood. Again. Not dreaming, Fuck.

"Well, art thou ready to commence sparring?" Luna asked, still sitting on her haunches. I guess punching myself in the face didn't bug her.

"Yeah, about that..." I turned around and pushed the doors open, preparing to run. Outside the room were hundreds of ponies in dark armor.

"As thou can see, escape is not an option." She stated calmly. Damn, her calmness is throwing me off. I looked at her, then back to the soliders, debating which was the greater threat. I sighed and let the door close.

"Well, I would fight you, but I don't hit girls.... Or mares, in this case." I tried to weasel my way out of this. Luna nodded her head.

"Chivalry, commendable. We could become male temporarily to make this easier on thou." She offered.

"No, no, no, no. The last thing I need in my mind is an image of male you." I struggled to find a way out, but none presented themselves. I sighed. "Fine, I will fight you, but no magic! I have none of my own." I said. She nodded again.

"We were expecting that. Dost thou take us for a cheat?" I shook my head.

"I don't want to fight you Princess." I tried. She then looked pissed off.

"Oh for the love of.... FIGHT ME!!" She commanded in Royal Canterlot voice. I flinched.

"Ok, ok calm down. OK then Luna, lets do this." I assumed a ready position. Luna stood up and charged me. Time seemed to slow down.

Ok Sharky, THINK. I can't lose, but I'm not going to hurt the princess either. I guess that means a lot of dodging and blocking. You've definately got the weight advantage this time, you haven't absorbed any pegasus magic, and she's WAY smaller than the manticore. And uh, for some reason gravity seems to be normal here, so... I sighed inwardly. This was gonna suck. I waited until she had reached me with her charge, then jumped to the left and pushed her side as she came by. It wasn't meant to hurt her, but I did succeed in gaining some distance from her. She turned to look at me, the started circling slowly. I waited, I wasn't going to attack first, that's how you make mistakes. She eventually stopped circling and charged me again. I realized she wouldn't fall for the same trick twice, so I didn't jump away from her charge this time. When she got close, she stopped her charge like I expected, and started swinging with her forelegs. I was unprepared for the first swing, and it caught me square in the chest. The wind was knocked out of me, but I managed to jump out of her range to her left side. I then dashed behind her and jumped on her back, where I causually sat down like I would while riding an earth horse. She immediately started bucking, but I tightened my grip with my les and held on. It would have been easier if I coul hold on to her mane, but my hands passed right through it. Eventually she tried to fall on her back, but I rolled off her side before she did. She ended up taking most of the damage from the fall herself, but she landed on my ankle as well. I got up and saw that she was flailing her limbs to try and get back up. I took advantage of her position and grabbed one of her forelegs in each hand. I then sat on her middle and leaned back so that my upper body pinned her back legs. She couldn't move. She struggled some more, but she knew it was over.

"We conceed. Thou hath bested us." She said sadly. I was happy.

"Yes, I win!" I cheered. Then I thought. "Oh buck, I won..." Crap, I just royally screwed that up, no pun intended. "You're going to send me back now aren't you?" I asked, terror plain in my voice.

"Now why would we do that?" She asked. I thought for a second.

"Wasn't I supposed to lose so I wasn't a threat?"

"Neigh, thou were supposed to not strike us, which thou did not." She explained. "Winning has made this all the more amazing." She continued. "In fact, we would like to make thou a proposal." I released her and jumped off of her midsection.

"What kind of proposal?" I asked cautiously. Luna stood up and smiled.

"We hath heard of thou's heroic defeat of the manticore, and would like to employ you as a royal knight." She said simply. I was stunned.

"Y-y-you want to what?" I stuttered. She gave an exasperated sigh.

"We would like to--"

"No, I heard you." I interrupted. "But wouldn't that mean I'd have to stay here at Canterlot all the time?" She snorted.

"No, thou misunderstands, we don't want you to be a guard, we would like you to be a... how is the best way to say this... Ah, monster hunter." My mouth dropped. "Thou will stay in Ponyville until we summon you, then thou shall find and slay whatever beast it is we send you after, and return to Ponyville." She finished.

"You want me to KILL?!" I shouted in disbelief. "I'm sorry, but I can't hunt down and kill things for you!" Luna gave me a burning glare.

"What art thou, a manner of small fowl?" She asked.

"I'm sorry, what?" I asked. She sighed.

"How did Celestia put it again... Oh yes, art thou chicken?" She taunted. I narrowed my eyes.

"What did you just call me?" If there was one name I hated, it was chicken.

"We have challenged thine bravery by calling thou a chicken." She said simply. "Hundreds of ponies across Equestria do this for us every DAY. If a creature half thou's size can do this, why not thou?" She continued glaring at me. Dang it, I'm not ok with killing, but NOPONY calls me chicken.

"You're ON Luna!" I shouted at her. She smiled.

"Good, then we shall return you to Ponyville where thou shall await our summons."

"WAIT! I have a few questions first!" I yelled. She sighed, but let me speak. "Ok, how did you know about me, what will I be fighting and where, and do I get paid?" I felt that last question was a little selfish, but come on, I don't wanna kill things for nothing.

"We read Twilight's letters to our sister about you, various creatures plauging various towns across Equestria, and yes, handsomely." She finished. Then a green flame shot out of her horn and I was gone. "If you survive..." She mumbled to the now empty moon. A gurad opened the door.

"How did he manage to beat you, Princess?" He asked with disbelief.

"Simple, we went easy on him."

Oh man, a letter at this hour?! Spike thought to himself. The incoming letter had woken him up. Geez, this is a big one. His stomach tensed and he gave a gigantic belch.

*BLEEEEEEEEH* (You know thats what burps sound like, don't give me that look.)

Sharky flew out of his mouth in a spout of green fire.

"WHOA! THAT WAS AWESOME!!!" I yelled when I hit the ground. "Spike! Do you have any idea what that's like?!" Spike gave me a funny look.

"No, I can honestly say I don't know what it's like to be sent like a letter." Spike said simply. He sounded like he was in some pain.

"Are you alright Spike?" I asked.

"No, this hurts almost as much as the time Discord attacked and Celestia made me--"

"Oh, I'm sorry!" I interrupted him. "Can I do anything to help?"

"Nah, don't worry about it, it'll pass here soon." He then stumbled to his bed, clutching his stomach. I wanted to tell Twilight about what had just happened, but she was already asleep. So, I curled up in my corner next to the bookshelves. It was really hard for me to fall asleep.

"BUCK IT!" I shouted. there was no way I was going to sleep without telling Twilight about this. I limped to her bed (my ankle still hurt.) and gave her a gentle shake. No response. I shook her more vigerously. No response. I pulled her covers off. She kicked me, then took them back without waking up. I then got an idea. I tried the trick I had used to wake my dog back on Earth up with. I leaned down, and blew in her ear. She started giggling and her ear twitched a lot. Her eyes fluttered open and she looked at me.

"Oh, heh, this is that dream." She mumbled. I stood up and gave her a confused look.

"What dream?" Her eyes shot all the way open and her pupils shrank.

"OH SHARKY!!" She yelled. "YOU'RE ALIVE!!!" She jumped off her bed and hug-tackled me. It threw me off balance and I fell off the little ledge her bed is on. Twilight never let go the whole way down, so I landed on my back with her on my stomach.

"Yes, I'm alive, so are you and so is Spike." I said sarcastically. "Now that we've established the obvious... Wait, why wouldn't I be alive?"

"I couldn't scry you!" She sobbed. "The only things I can't scry are dead things!" She continued crying.

"Well can't I have just been out of range?" I asked. She stopped crying for a moment.

"Well... I guess it's possible if you managed to go as far as Canterlot and then come back in one night... You didn't go to Canterlot did you?" She sounded worried now. I thought for a moment.

"Well... yes, I did. I was summoned by Princess Luna." Her eyes shrank again.

"W-w-what d-did she w-want?" She stuttered nervously. Odd.

"She wanted to make sure I wasn't a threat." When I said that Twilight smiled and almost started laughing.

"How bad did she beat you?" She giggled, then she thought for a second and looked worried. "You aren't hurt that bad are you?!" She questioned desperately.

"Nah, I'm not hurt that bad, just took a hoof to the chest and a Luna to the ankle. Actually... I won." I grinned at her. She gasped in disbelief.

"YOU DID WHAT!?" She yelled. I grinned.

"She even gave me a job!" I cheered. Now Twilight looked really horrified.

"W-w-w-w-what j-j-j-job???!" She stuttered.

"MONSTER HUNTER!!!" I cheered. Then Twilight fainted. I cursed myself for stressing her out, but let it go. There was nothing I could do about it now. I was too tired from the day and my fight with Luna to move, so I just slept there with Twilight on top of me.

How many of you saw that coming, none? Good. That means I'm doing my job right.

My little wolf

I woke up in the bed spooning Twilight again.

DAMMIT! I NEED TO QUIT TAKING ADVANTAGE OF THIS PONY! I mentally yelled at myself, sure I'd done this in my sleep. I'M A TERRIBLE PERSON! I shouted inwardly, mad at myself for thinking of these grils like I do. I jumped out and realized I had morning... you know what I mean, don't make me say it! I ran to the bathroom and stripped. I took a LONG cold shower, as if trying to rid myself of this feeling forever. I turned off the water and shivered as I stepped out. The air hit the water droplets on my body and created an uncomfortably cold sensation. I towled myself off quickly and put my boxers and pants back on. I walked out of the bathroom holding my socks and shoes. Twilight was sitting outside the bathroom.

"Hi Sharky." She said. She wouldn't look me in the eye. "W-why would you take that job..." She asked me. She sounded sad, but I didn't know why.

"Hi Twilight... Luna... challenged my bravery. I've never been one to take things like that lying down." I explained.

"Sharky, I don't think you understand... You will be fighting MONSTERS. By ROYAL ORDER. You could die!" She looked panicked. "An-and... You'll have to leave me more often..." She looked like she was going to cry.

"Don't worry, I'm a fighter, I'm not gonna die!" I said, faking bravery. Honestly, the thought terrified me too. "And don't worry, Luna said I'll stay here while I'm not busy, so I'll be able to see you guys often!" I said cheerily. I didn't know why Twilight had referred to herself specifically, but I assumed she meant to say all of my new friends. She looked even sadder, so I did the only thing I could think of. I dropped to my knees and hugged her. She broke out into sobs and jumped into my embrace. She somehow managed to wrap all her limbs around my midsection.

"P-Please don't do this Sharky!" She sobbed. Her cries made me sad, but I was unmoving in my decision.

"No Twilight, I have to do this for me." I said with conviction. She pulled her head away from my chest and looked right at me with teary eyes.

"Why?" The sadness in her voice was plain, I guess I was a really good friend to her.

"Twilight..." I sighed. "Back on my old world, kids made fun of me while I was growing up. They knew I was afraid of being alone in the dark. They bullied me all the time."

"Well I don't see how somepony calling you names makes you need to do this..." She interrupted.

"They called me names yes, but they also beat me and played mean tricks on me." She gasped. I wished I didn't have to tell her this to make her understand. "When I was little, their favorite insult was 'chicken' I know it sounds stupid, but that's the one name that haunted me my whole life. Whenever someone calls me that... I can't turn down the challenge."

"W-what tricks did they play on you?" She asked tenatively. I took a deep breath.

"This is going to sound stupid... When I was using the bathroom at school, the kids would wait until everyone left, then turn off the lights and leave me there." I was blushing terribly now. "I know it sounds ridiculous, but being in the dark alone is my only fear, and they took advantage of it. It was bad because I couldn't just get up and leave... for obvious reasons." I finished. I was hiding my face in my hands.

"T-t-that's.... TERRIBLE!!" Twilight bawled. She buried her face in the crook of my neck, and I could feel her tears running down my exposed back. "Now I know why you were so mad when I laughed at you! I'm a terrible friend!" She cried.

"No, no, no, it's not your fault. You didn't know any better." I soothed. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her even closer. "You're a great pony, please don't cry, I hate it when you cry..." She stifled her sobs and tried to control herself.

"O-ok Sharky, if that's what you want..." She sniffled. She leaned back and wiped her eyes with her hoof, then she embraced me again and we just hugged for awhile. Soon I realized I had a job still.

"CRAP!" I jumped up, still hugging Twilight. "I have work!" Twilight spoke up from my arms.

"Sugarcube Corner is closed on Sunday." Her voice was muffled because her face was in the crook of my neck again.

"It's Sunday?" I asked. I hadn't really been keeping track of the days.

"Eeyup, Sunday. January 5th." She mumbled into my neck. Her breath was really warm, and it tickled my neck in a weird way.

"Wow, I need to keep track of things..." I mumbled to myself. "Well, I suppose I should go to Carousel Boutique for my clothes..."

"Can't, Rarity is out with Fluttershy at the spa." Twilight mumbled.

Damn, another day without a shirt. Well, I guess that means I can't hang out with Fluttershy either... I thought to myself. Hmm... I'm sure Fluttershy won't mind me grabbing my wolf for a visit...

"Hey Twilight... You don't mind if I bring over my canine friend do you?" I asked innocently. Twilight pulled her head away from my neck and looked at me quizzically.

"You've already got a pet?" She asked me.

"Eeyup, just got him from Fluttershy yesterday!" I said proudly. She looked off in the distance a little.

"That's odd, I thought she was out of dogs..." Twilight muttered to herself. I tensed up, but luckily I don't think she noticed. She looked back at me again. "It's fine with me."

"Thanks Twilight!" I shouted. I kissed her on the head. "You're the best!" She blushed and looked away from me.

"No problem Sharky..." I placed her on the ground and dashed out the door. I ran straight to Fluttershy's house.

"I'm the best huh?" Twilight mumbled bitterly. "Then why don't you like me?...." She trotted off sadly and picked up her book again. "Item two, get him to admit a secret to you. Check." She sighed. She wasn't getting very far very fast at all...

As I approached Fluttershy's house, I heard fighting noises coming from the forest. I ran towards the sound, worried that somepony was in trouble, but I was wrong. When I found the source of the racket, my jaw dropped. Right in front of me, my wolf puppy was fighting a full-grown fox. There were about three dead rabbits near them, so it was easy to see why they were fighting. ( thankfully, Angel didn't look to be among the dead. ) I was going to rush in to help my wolf, but I soon saw I wasn't needed. My little wolf, was OWNING. The fox looked terrified, and I'll admit, I was a little scared myself. It was like he was everywhere at once, and he was using the fox's size to his advantage.

DAYUM, MY BOY'S A SCRAPPER!! I cheered mentally. (George Lopez. Awesome.) The little wolf knocked over the fox and dove in for the jurglar. I caught him as he jumped for the fox's throat. As soon as I picked up my wolf, the fox sprang back to his feet. I watched the fox run away with his tail inbetween his legs. My little wolf growled at me and tried to bite my hand, but as soon as he caught my scent he relaxed and started licking me. I grinned and placed him down next to his winnings. He gave me what would best be described as a wolfish grin (*Rimshot*), and started digging in. It... was a little hard to watch, so I turned and walked a short distance away. After waiting for a little while, my little wolf ran to me, carrying one of his rabbits. He placed it at my feet, then sat down and looked at me expectantly.

"Oh, no thanks, I had a whole den of rabbits on the way over." He gave a happy bark then dug into that rabbit too. I didn't think much of it, but then something occured to me. I had looked away from the feasting, but I whipped my head back around to the wolf. "Did you understand me?!" I gasped in disbelief. He sat back on his haunches and nodded. "Huh but wha why how who?" I stuttered out, totally shocked. He just tilted his head at me, then continued eating.

Ok, ok, calm down. This must be normal here... I tried to explain to myself. I thought back to the show. Angel and Tank and all the other animals could seem to understand, so it stands to reason that the wolf could too. This thought let me calm down a bit. Ok, you've got a fighting wolf that understands you... I thought to myself. Then I grinned like a fool. I've got a fighting wolf that understands me! I cheered in my head. This. Is. The. Best. Place. EVER! He finished off his rabbit and looked at me again. I smiled back at him

"You need a name, huh little guy?" He nodded. I thought for a moment, then came up with the perfect name. "I'll call you Fang!" I exclaimed. "Now you'll be Fang White!" I laughed at my reversal of the popular wolf name. He seemed happy enough with it, and jumped a few times to show his excitement. "Well boy, I should get home before Twilight worries about me again..." I grinned at him again. "You wanna race?" He gave me a toothy grin and nodded again. "Ok, follow this path all the way to the big tree in the town we get to, alright?" He nodded to show he understood, and we took off.

He beat me by a mile. It wasn't even close. In my defense though, he was running on four legs and I was on two.

"Ok Fang..." I huffed. My face was red and I was sweating a lot. "You win... Let's say hi... to Twilight now." I gasped. I usually sprinted down part of that path, but never the whole thing! Man, I was beat. I knocked on the door and rested my hands on my knees as I gulped in air. After a few seconds I could hear Twilight trotting up to the door. She opened it and gasped when she saw me.

"Sharky?! Are you ok?!" Then she saw Fang. "AHHHH!!! WOLF!!!" She lifted him magically and it looked like she was getting ready to smash him into the ground.

"NO, TWILIGHT STOP!" I yelled as she thrusted him earthward. She stopped his fall about an inch away from the ground.

"B-but... Wolf..." She stuttered out, very confused. I reached down and picked him up from his position in midair.

"Yes, but he's MY wolf, and I'd appreciate it if you didn't KILL him!" Twilight gave me a look of shock.

"B-but... Wolves are dangereous..." She mumbled dumbly. I had lifted Fang to my face and he was licking it gratefully.

"Twilight, he's half your size, does he even LOOK dangerous?" She focused on Fang.

"I... guess you're right Sharky... He's actually kinda cute!" She squeaked out the last part. Geez these ponies change emotions quickly.

"Well can we come in without fear of death now?" I asked sarcastically. She blushed.

"Oh, of course." She moved out of the doorway and I ducked and walked through with Fang. I placed him on the ground when I got in, and he sat down next to my legs. Twilight was staring at him curiously.

"His name is Fang!" I said proudly. In response to his name, Fang looked up at me and thumped his tail on the floor. "He's a really smart guy, and he understands me!" Twilight didn't flinch when I said he unerstood me. I guess it was normal here after all.

"Can he do any tricks?" She asked.

"Well, I haven't taught him any, but he's problably smart enough to figure it out." I turned to Fang. "Fang, Stay!" I commanded. He tilted his head at me curiously, but didn't move when I walked away. I smiled at Twilight. "See? I told you he was smart!" I looked back to Fang. "Ok, come here boy!" I commanded again. He rushed at me and sat down at my side again. I scratched his head and cooed "Good boy" at him a few times. Twilight shook her head at me.

He gives that wolf more attention than me already! She thought to herself.

"So Sharky, since you don't need to train your... wolf, what are you gonna do for the rest of the day?" Twilight asked. I thought for a moment. This was my first time since coming here that I actually didn't have to deal with something. I was always either in the hospital, getting measured by Rarity, working, or dealing with some sort of crisis. I thought about Twilight's offer from a few days ago.

"Well, I could try to learn some magic now..." I guessed. "If you don't mind teaching me that is..." Twilight gave me a wicked grin.

"Perfect..." She said in a weird whisper.

Magic is Trouble!

"...Twilight?"

"Hmm...?"

"Is this really necessary? I've been learning to copy magic faster anyway..." We were in the same position as we had been earlier while she was crying. I was sitting cross-legged on the ground with Twilight hugging my midsection with all four of her limbs. Her head was in the crook of my neck again, and her breath was making me feel... really weird. As if that wasn't enough, I hadn't noticed this while she cried, but this pose put her ... right on my... you get it... It was becoming very uncomfortable for me in a VERY comfortable way. I tried thinking about anything else but how I was feeling, and I was succeding pretty well. Twilight wasn't helping at all though, as a matter of fact, if I didn't know better, I'd say she was doing this to me on purpose. There's no way that could be the case though.

"Oh, yes, ABSOLUTELY necessary..." She said it in a funny way, like she was happy or content or something, but it sounded different from either of those expressions.

Dammit, the only girl here that I've been around often that DOESN'T make me stay in one place for hours is Fluttershy... I thought to myself. I groaned loudly. Sitting in one place for five hours... How was Twilight not as restless as I was?? Normally we would have only been like this for two, maybe three hours, but Twilight had said that I problably didn't FULLY mimic the magic in that time, I only got physical results. I had to admit that she was most likely right, and agreed to sit longer, until Twilight said it was ok for me to move. I wished Fang was still here to distract me. When Spike had come down and tried to leave like he did last time this happened, Twilight told him to take Fang out and play with him. I hadn't protested at the time, but now I wanted him to come back.

"How much longeeeeerrrr?" I whined. Twilight tensed up.

"If you want to move then just do it!" She yelled into my neck. She sounded pissed, but didn't move herself. I didn't want her mad at me, so I sighed and resigned myself to sitting here awhile longer. After a few more minutes my stomach growled. Twilight was startled by the sound, and pulled her head away from me. I was blushing.

"Sorry... I haven't eaten in..." I thought for a moment. "Two days?" Twilight gasped.

"Two days?! What's wrong with you?!" She leapt out of my lap and ran into the kitchen. I stood up and stretched my limbs with a symphony of cracking. When I was done stretching I followed Twilight into the kitchen. She was levitating all kinds of cook books and several foods around herself.

"Oh Twilight, you don't have to go through any trouble for me!" I exclaimed, shocked at the effort she was already going through for me. "I'm plenty capable of cooking for myself!" She gave me a confused look.

"I know you cooked at Rarity's, but aren't the mares supposed to cook in the house?" She asked innocently. I was... a little shocked.

"Twilight, that was an extremely sexist comment!" I scolded her. "Why would you say that?" She looked suprised by my response.

"Well... here the female typically cooks and cleans and stuff..." She mumbled. It made sense, after all Equestria did seem to be in a slightly earlier time period than us, but I wouldn't have it.

"That's ridiculous! Mares shouldn't HAVE to cook and clean, that's supposed to be a shared duty between genders!" I shouted. I hated sexism when people seriously meant it. I could handle sexist jokes, but actually believing it was something entirely different. "If a woman enjoys that sort of thing then fine, hell, in marriage some of this behavior might be understandable, not excusable mind you, but among friends this is unacceptable!" I ranted. Yeah, backstory time! I was raised mostly by my mom, so I was taught to respect female's rights and treat them as equals. That's why Twilight's attitude was freaking me out.

"W-well maybe I wanna cook for you..." She mumbled. I instantly calmed down. I then realized that in my rage I was accidentally levitating the table and chairs next to me. I tried to set them back down, but I didn't have any sense of control yet. I ended up slamming them down and causing Twilight to jump. In her shock she dropped all the things she had been levitating. Eggs splattered on the floor and tomatoes burst as they made contact with the ground.

"SORRY!" I shouted, feelng like a goof. "Here let me help clean up... Unless that's a mare's job." I shot at her. She flinched and levitated me a rag.

"Calm down, I wasn't trying to offend you..." She mumbled again. I sighed.

"I'm sorry Twilight... I don't mean to freak out on you, it's just that... so many ideas and practices here are different from my world..." Twilight's eyes widened.

"Y-you don't... want to g-go back... do you?" She asked in a scared whisper. I laughed, HARD.

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Twilight, I wouldn't go back if my life depended on it!" I continued laughing. Twilight tilted her head.

"Why?" She asked simply. I stopped laughing instantly.

"That... That's a story for another day..." I said sadly. She looked even more curious, but didn't pry. I finished cleaning and stood back up. "Let's just get a few apples ok?" She nodded and we each levitated a few apple to ourselves from the counters. Of course, I still didn't have any control, so I smacked myself in the forehead with an apple. "OW." Twilight laughed at me.

"Maybe you need to get to that practice sooner than I thought!"

"Concentrate Sharky, concentrate!" Twilight urged me.

"I-I'm trying!" I hissed between my teeth. I had gained a little control, and now I was trying to hold a book to my face and read at the same time. Twilight made it look so damn easy! I lost concentration when I started thinking about how easy it was for Twilight, and dropped the book for the sixth time.

"That's ok Sharky, we'll just keep trying!" Twilight was being really encouraging, but I knew she was getting annoyed. I sighed and lifted the book again. I managed to hold it this time. I focused all my thoughts on reading and lifting the book. I was holding it up for quite awhile, so Twilight started clapping her hooves. "Whooo! Way to go Sharky!" She cheered. I lowered the book without dropping it.

"Thanks Twilight, what now?" My voice was slightly strained from the focus, but I held the spell. She thought for a moment.

"We could try some simple spells..." She mused. "I'll get the book." She trotted towards the bookshelves and pulled out a worn-looking book. Well, I say book, but it was more like a TOME. This thing was huge! "Now, I want you to try casting some spells from this book.--" I reached out for it, but she magically held it away from my hands. "Ah ah ah, you have to hold it with magic and cast at the same time!" She said with an evil grin.

"Crap..." I sighed. I tried to focus on lifting the book, but it was HEAVY! It turns out that weight still effects the difficulty of lifting things. Luckily, it doesn't stack up, so you only have to put forward enough effort to lift the heaviest thing in your magic grasp. After about 13 tries, I managed to lift the book. I opened it and turned a few pages. "I'll try the mirror spell..." I gasped, I was really straining. It looked simple enough, and I could create multiples if I wanted, but I decided to try for just one for now.

"Sounds good to me!" Twilight smiled at me again. I heard growling outside and Spike yelling in a mixture of fear and pain.

"Oh no, SPIKE!" We yelled at the same time. I dropped my book on my foot.

"OW!" I yelled. Twilight gave me an amused look.

"Stay here and work the spell Sharky, I'll be right back!" She dashed out the door. I hoped Spike wasn't hurt, and I really hoped my wolf didn't have to do with Spike yelling, but I did as Twilight commanded and focused on the spell. I didn't have the focus to conjure the mirror the first few times, but after trying about three times I got it to fade into view. It wasn't very solid, but I could see myself well enough. I still looked entirely normal, which was weird in a cartoon world. (oh hey, I haven't even told you what I look like yet have I?) I have dark brown medium-length hair that fells over my eyes slightly, Dark, DARK brown eyes, about 6' tall, white skinned, and fairly muscular. I keep my face clear of facial hair, but I was growing a small mustache and beard now. My facial bones are well-defined and my lips are very thin. I tried to focus the mirror a little bit so I could pick out more specific details. The image became clearer, but then disappeared. I sighed with annoyance. I tried to fucus all my energy and gave the spell another shot. I put all my energy into it, and an amazingly image of myself came into view. I smiled and my reflection smiled back. Then something went wrong. All of the sudden all of my energy drained away at once! I immediately fell over onto the floor, out cold...

Twenty minutes later, Twilight trotted back into the library.

"Sorry that took so long Sharky!" Twilight called. "Spike and Fang were a suprising distance away. They were only play-fighting though, and Spike was faking an injury." She waited for a response, but didn't get any. "Sharky!?" She yelled. She searched the room, but didn't find any trace of him. "SHARKY?!" She screamed out desperately.

"Yes?" Sharky walked down the stairs that led to the bedroom. Twilight sighed with relief.

"I called for you three times! Why didn't you answer?!" She scolded him.

"I was... busy." He replied skeptically. Twilight looked at him closely. She knew something was off, but didn't know what. Then she realized it.

"Sharky, your horn is already gone!" She exclaimed. Sharky frowned and rubbed his forehead.

"Huh, you're right! That's odd..." He then shot Twilight a sly smile. "I guess we'll have to get to fully copying it again huh?" Twilight was startled by his attitude change towards her method of copying magic, but smiled right back at him when she realized what was happening.

"Yes, yes we will..." She said seductively. "Come here..." Sharky walked over to her and sat down. Twilight jumped into his lap and wrapped herself around him again. Instead of becoming tense like he usually did, he accepted her into his embrace. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer to him. Twilight put her head in the crook of his neck, and he craned his neck to do the same to her. She let her body relax into his, as if she was physically sighing.

Finally... She thought as she lost herself in his embrace. They sat there and hugged for a few minutes.

"Hey Twilight?" He muttered into her mane.

"Yes Sharky?" She sighed.

"You like me, don't you?" Twilight tensed up and squirmed in his embrace.

"I uh... Sharky I... What I mean is...--" Sharky relaxed his embrace and pushed Twilight away a little so he could see her face.

"I like you too." He pulled Twilight's face to his and kissed her. She didn't react at first, she was too shocked. As soon as her brain made sense of what was going on however, she didn't try to think things out, she didn't hesitate. She kissed him right back.

Recognition

Fang's magic was very slowly making me smaller. I wasn't used to copying magic from wolves, so the process was taking much longer than normal. Luckily, I was so focused on absorbing magic that I had totally forgotten about my fear of being in the dark alone. Fang still wasn't waking up though, and I was really starting to worry. His chest was moving up and down with ragged breaths, so at least I knew he was still alive.

Don't worry Fang, I'll get us out of here! I thought to him. I knew there was no way he would get that, but it felt right to do anyway. I sighed into my gag and focused in on Fang's magic again.

"Uh... nothin' important Sharky... Ah gotta go." Applejack couldn't lie, but she could avoid the truth. Sharky didn't move from the doorway.

"No, no. It's important to me I assure you." He said with an evil grin. Applejack began to step from hoof to hoof, nervous about not being able to tell the truth.

"Sharky!" Fluttershy yelled as she flew into his stomach.

"OOF!" He gasped as he hit the ground. Applejack took the opening and quickly made her escape.

"Oops... sorry Sharky..." Fluttershy said, barely above a whisper. She was already blushing deep red and hiding her face. Sharky grinned.

"No problem! Say, what was it Applejack was talking about?" He asked. Fluttershy blushed even DEEPER somehow, and buried her face completely in her mane.

"N-n-n-nothing..." She was shaking like a leaf. Sharky grinned.

"It wouldn't have to do with me would it?" He asked with an evil grin, but Fluttershy didn't see the malice in his face. She couldn't see through her mane.

"M-m-maybe...." She was so quiet that Sharky had to strain to hear her even though she was on his chest.

"You wanna tell me?"

"N-not r-r-really..." She whispered. Sharky scowled.

"Tell me." He commanded. Fluttershy went silent. She was shaking even harder now. "TELL ME!!" He yelled at her. She stopped shaking and her head popped out of her mane.

"You don't yell at me..." She said it like it was a question. "Something's not right here..." She started looking really closely at Sharky.

"I-I'm sorry... Fang attacked me today... Turns out he wasn't the pet for me..." Fluttershy narrowed her eyes.

"Fang and Sharky were the closest match I could ever find, he wouldn't attack you..." She was frowning now. "Something is very wrong..." Sharky stood up and put her on the ground.

"I-I gotta go..." He turned to rush off, but a dark-gray pegasus hit him in the stomach as he turned.

"OOF!" He hit the ground again. Sitting on his chest was a very angry Stormy. "Why do pegasi keep hitting me?!"

"I don't know why others did it, but I did it on purpose." Stormy stated calmly. "Now, why don't you tell me exactaly why you did that to Rainbow Dash!!!" He screamed in Sharky's face.

"What did he do to Rainbow Dash?" Fluttershy asked curiously. Stormy looked away from Sharky and faced Fluttershy.

"He basically told her she was lame and worthless when she asked him out to dinner. She tried to fly out of town crying, but I intercepted her and found out what this jerk--" He pointed a forehoof in my face."--did to her... Wait a second..." His eyes followed the line his hoof made all the way to Sharky's eyes. He stared into Sharky's eyes for about a minute, then scowled firecely. "YOU'RE NOT SHARKY!!!" He shouted as he lifted his back legs and smashed them into Dark Sharky's groin.

"YEEEEEEEEEOWW!!!!!" Dark Sharky screamed as he jumped up, sending Stormy tumbling away from him. Stormy landed next to Fluttershy. He let a few tears of pain fall from his eyes and an angry grimace crossed his face. "GODDAMN THAT HURT!!!" He screamed.

"I knew it! I knew Sharky wouldn't be that mean!" Fluttershy hissed through her teeth. "HOW DARE YOU HURT MY FRIEND!!" She screamed. (Actual scream, not Flutterscream) Sharky laughed through his pain.

"What's so funny?" Asked a dazed Stormy.

"BWAHA ow... HA. You two know I'm not Sharky." He stated through gritted teeth.

"Yeah and we're gonna tell everypony you're a big jerk!" Fluttershy seethed.

"My dear, *flinch* You clearly have no idea how much of a 'jerk' I am." He grinned maliciously and started dragging his feet towards the two ponies.

"W-what are you doing?" Stormy stuttered.

"Well, I've got to keep you two quiet now don't I?" He grinned and struggled through his pain.

"DON'T YOU DARE MOVE CLOSER!!" Fluttershy screamed and started giving him the stare. Dark Sharky wasn't looking at her, so it was ineffective. He finally reached the angry Fluttershy and trembling Stormy. Stormy tried to stand and strike Dark Sharky, but he wasn't fast enough.

*THWACK*

*CRACK*

"Mwahahaha... ow."

Dark Sharky finished tying the two pegasi together with some rope he had found in Fluttershy's house. He walked a ways into the forest and hung them from a tree limb. He would have killed them himself, but he found the irony of Fluttershy being eaten by a wild animal humorous. He examined his work and smiled. There was no way these two would escape before a hungry animal found them. He laughed to himself and thought about what to do next.

"Hmmm... I could go back to that Twilight... haha, she's so happy that 'I' finally noticed her that she'd problably do anything..." He mused. "Then again I could always go mess with Rarity... Sharky was looking for clothes after all..." He smiled as he laughed at the memory of his nicey nice counterpart. He needed those clothes even more now, Dark Sharky had taken what Sharky had been wearing. "Yes... Rarity it is..." He decided. He left the still forms of Stormy and Fluttershy and headed towards Ponyville.

Crap! Fang isn't small enough! I was panicking mentally, but I kept my body very still. I had shrank greatly, but the bonds were still to tight for me to slip out of. I had tried untying the knots too, but I could barely reach the one tying my hands with the tips of my fingers, and even then it was too confusing for me to undo. I sighed and almost gave up, but then I felt wiggling on my stomach. Fang was waking up.

"Oh, hello dear!" Rarity exclaimed when she opened the door to reveal Sharky.

"Hello Rarity!" He greeted cheerfully. "Can I get those clothes now?"

"Why of course dear!" She began to bat her eyelashes. "I'll have to get the measurements first of course..." Sharky grinned.

"Well of course!" He walked over to the measurement station and sat down. Rarity trotted over happily and retrieved her measuring tape from nearby. She began to measure Sharky by hoof. She purposely let her hooves drift over him tracing little lines on his skin. She was being more obvious this time because she was beggining to understand how oblivious Sharky really was.

"Sharky, you know I think of you as a CLOSE PERSONAL FRIEND hmm?" She was really laying it out there. Without directly saying anything of course, it was no fun if the male didn't make the first move in her mind. Sharky gave her a wolfish grin.

"Why, thank you, is that why you've got your hooves all over me?" He asked simply. Rarity stopped moving.

"Uh well, ummm..." She mumbled. Sharky grinned some more.

"Ah, so you get me to sit here so you can feel me up for a few hours?"

"No, it's not like that..." She lied. Sharky's grin disappeared.

"Don't lie to me." He scolded, then his grin reappeared. "I just think it's time I got my turn..." With that he reached out and began rubbing Rarity's neck.

"Oh... Sharky you shouldn't..." She tried talking like it was bad, but she was enjoying it too much for her words to have any strength. "T-this is...." Sharky ignored her feeble protesting and moved his hands down on her back. "Ooooh..." Rarity knew she should be wary of the suddeness of it all and knowing it was wrong, but she was enjoying herself to much to care.

"Fingers are a wonderful thing my dear..." Sharky mumbled in her ear as he rubbed her. He knew he had her trapped. He applied more pressure with his fingers and rubbed Rarity more firmly.

"S-sharky s-s- oooh..." She was really enjoying this. The massages at the spa were nothing compared to this! Sharky took one hand away from her side and lifted her chin. Then, he kissed her and returned his other hand to rubbing her back.

Fang was up now, and he looked confused and hurt. He whimpered and turned his head to see me. He growled when he saw my face. The hair on his neck and shackles raised, but he started sniffing and calmed down. I didn't know why my pet had acted like he did, but it didn't matter. I tried to talk to him through the gag, but all that came out were small growls. I wiggled around, but I was unable to get the gag loose. Unfortunately, even though my head had gotten smaller, my mouth had elongated and formed a half muzzle. This meant that my gag was still on firmly. I looked at Fang and made a few grunting noises to make sure I had his attention. He looked at me expectantly. I motioned my eyes towards my gag. He gave me a confused look, but seemed to understand after I repeated the process a few times. He stood and limped painfully towards my face. He grabbed the gag between his fangs and began to gnaw on it. Luckily, the fabric seemed very soft and he chewed through it fairly quickly. With my mouth free I took in a big gulp of air and prepared to call for help, but I had a thought. If whoever did this was still out there they'd hear me and just tie me up again. They'd most likely kill the both of us too! I changed my mind and whispered to Fang.

"Fang, can you get to my hands?" He nodded and limped around to my back. "Ok buddy, can you chew on those ropes for me?" I couldn't see him, but I felt his muzzle against my wrist as he started chewing on the bonds. Within a few minutes, he passed out again.

Poor guy... Thanks for the help buddy. His physical strain must have been much greater than I thought. I then struggled against my bonds again and felt them slowly giving way. Fang had chewed them enough to where I managed to break the bonds. I sighed with relief and stretched my hands out to return the feeling. I set to work on the bonds on my legs.

I released my legs and stood in the closet, promptly hitting my head on the ceiling.

"Ow..." I cursed silently. I was shorter, but still too tall to stand up straight. I decided to rid myself of Fang's magic so that I would be more of a threat to whoever might be waiting. After a few minutes of focusing on expelling the magic, I was back to normal size. I carefully opened the door and swept my gaze across the surrounding area. I didn't see anything, so I gingerly tip-toed out of the closet. I continued to slowly creep down the tree, checking around every corner for danger. Eventually I cleared every floor down to the main room. I could hear Twilight humming from the kitchen, so I relaxed. Whoever had tied me up obviously wasn't here anymore. "Twilight!" I called.

"Ooooh~ Back for more already?" Twilight called back in a strange tone.

"More what?" I asked confusedly. She giggled from the kitchen.

"Of me silly!" I could hear her hooves tapping on the floor as she approached the room I was in.

"What are you talking about?" I was really confused now. She walked in the room, grinning at me in a funny way.

"Don't you play dumb with me~" She cooed. Then she got a look that was best described as confusedly happy. "Sharky, where are your clothes?" I looked down and jumped as I realized I was naked. I quickly covered my... delicates and blushed bright red.

"I-I h-h-have n-no idea..." I stuttered. She grinned and started trotting towards me.

"No idea hmm?" She was talking in a strange whisper. I started backing up, but I don't know why.

"Y-yes, n-no idea... Why did I just wake up bound and gagged in a closet?" That stopped her in her tracks.

"You what?"

Sorry this chapter took so long to post, it's hard to write as the exact opposite of yourself.

Well Darn...

"I said, why did I just wake up bound and gagged in a closet?" I repeated. Twilight looked at me like I was joking.

"Ha ha, very funny." Twilight laughed. "Now, back to the missing clothes..." She said in the wierd whisper. I blushed deeper and grabbed the little horse head statue from her table to cover myself.

"Twilight don't tease me about my missing clothes!" I tried to scold her, but I was to embarrased to put any force into it. "You need to focus on my question!"

"Quit playing around Sharky! You and I both know you came back here like this for a reason..." Her aura wrapped around the horse head and started tugging on it gently.

"Twilight what's wrong with you?!" I shouted. Why the hell was she acting so... odd? Twilight looked suprised at my outburst.

"W-what do you mean? Don't you like me?" She asked with tears forming in her eyes.

"Of course! You're one of my best friends in this place!" Her ears dropped back and her eyes filled with water.

"F-f-friend?" She stuttered out. I frowned.

"Twilight, what's wrong? All I did was mess up a mirror spell and wake up in a closet, and now you're acting all... wierd." I was worried. Maybe I was in some different version of Equestria or something. It didn't seem too outlandish a thought. Twilight's ears popped back up and her eyes cleared themselves of most water.

"Y-y-you messed up a m-mirror spell?" She stuttered out. "Oh no no no no no no no!" Her eyes begn to widen and her pupils shrank. "Sharky, are you sure you're not messing with me?"

"YES! Why would I joke about this?!" Twilight flinched.

"This is bad!! Very very bad!" Twilight started pacing around the table, so I had to turn slightly to make sure the horse head was angled towards her. "Sharky do you have any idea what you've done?!"

"Yes, I know exactaly what I've done, which is why I'm wasting my time asking questions when I could be fixing my mistake." I wasn't exactaly in my best mood right now, so I was laying the sarcasm on thick. Twilight gave me an irritated look.

"Well no need to be snippy about it! Anyway, what I think you've done is release a mirror monster!" Twilight said, fear in her voice. I gave her a confused look.

"What's a mirror monster?"

"The mirror spell summons your look-alike from the mirror realm, the mirror realm is basically the exact opposite of our world." She started explaining. "If you bring a mirror monster into the real world, they will try to replace the real you! Some manage to pull it off, they come in with all their counterpart's memories, likes and dislikes, and abilities, so it's not that unthinkable. They do however tend to act vastly different and not follow the same moral code, so they are often caught."

"Oh, so all we gotta do is find mirror me and send him back?" Twilight flinched.

"I'm afraid it's not that simple... You see once released, a mirror monster can never return to the mirror world. We are going to have to... kill mirror you..." I snorted.

"Is that it? Well then let's go find him!" Twilight almost fell over in suprise.

"You're ok with killing yourself?!" I laughed.

"He's not me, and I promised myself I'd get whoever hurt Fang." I looked at Twilight. "That was mirror me right?"

"Mirror you DID hurt Fang, but how did you know that?" She asked.

"I just figured nopony could do... You know what? It'll make more sense if I show you." I turned and held the horse head behind me. I beckoned to Twilight and climbed up the tree to the little closet. "Brace yourself, he... doesn't look fantastic right now..." I pushed open the door and picked up Fang with a free hand. I held him out to Twilight and she gasped. In the light I could see his wounds more clearly. His right eye was swelling and one of his right front leg looked out of place. His chest looked deflated and broken, and he was hardly breathing now. Seeing my pet like this made me angry. "Have a problem killing him? Heh, he's gonna freakin' PAY for this!!!" I seethed. Twilight flinched back. "Oh, sorry Twilight, I didn't mean to scare you... wait! Evil me didn't do anything to you did he?!" I asked in a panic. I can't belive I hadn't asked yet. Twilight began to look nervous.

"Ah... he didn't do anything bad to me at ALL..." Twilight said nervously. I nodded my head.

"Good. Now, what are we gonna do to help Fang?" I turned my head back to his limp form. It broke my heart to see him like this. Twilight looked down sadly.

"I-I'm afraid... I don't have any spell for injuries like this... If he were a bigger wolf I could problably do something..."

"Bigger.... damn... Fang you can't die on me... WAIT!!!" I thought back to the episode where Twilight not only hatched Spike, but made him an adult temporarily as well. "Twilight, do you know any spells to make Fang an adult?" She widened her eyes in realization.

"Well, I do know one... but..."

"BUT WHAT?! YOU CAN SAVE HIS LIFE AND THERE'S A 'BUT'?!" I yelled. Twilight didn't flinch away this time.

"Yes, two buts. One, it's a permenant spell, he will lose all his puppy years. Two, it takes a lot of energy and I won't be able to kill evil you if I do this..." I laughed.

"His puppy years won't matter much if he's dead, and Evil Sharky is my fault, I wouldn't have let you get rid of him for me anyway!" Twilight smiled up at me.

"Eeyup, you're the real Sharky alright..." Never letting anypony help. If he had magic right now he wouldn't even ask me to fix Fang! He'd just try to do it himself. She thought to herself. She sighed and concentrated on the spell. Her horn glowed bright purple, and Fang slowly began to grow. His eye seemed to fix itself and his ribs realigned themselves, repaired, and enlarged. His right foreleg popped back into place and he started twisting like he was having a bad dream. Fang began to get heavy as his size increased. He had a lot more muscle than a pony, so he was much heavier. I had to drop the horse head and cradle Fang with both arms as his body became to large for one arm. Twilight finished the spell and dropped to the ground gasping.

"TWILIGHT!?" I stooped down next to her, still holding Fang. "ARE YOU OK?!" Twilight looked up at me wearily and nodded. "Damn it! You didn't tell me the spell would take that much!" I scolded her. She shrugged off my comment and stood up on her shaking legs. I put Fang down on the ground. He was starting to wake up anyway.

"I-it's not that bad..." She tried to take a step and stumbled. I reached out and caught her before she hit the ground.

"You're a bad liar..." I sighed. "You two, stay here, I'm going... to Rarity's to get some cloth to cover myself, I'm NOT gonna spend 4 hours to get real clothes..." I grumbled, remembering the forever-long measuring sessions. "Then I'm finding anti-me and making him pay for hurting my Fang!" I growled. Twilight looked up at me.

"I-I'm helping y-you." She stuttered. I laughed.

"Like hell you are! You're staying right here!" I commanded her. She started laughing at me.

"Y-you act like you have a choice here!" She giggled. Before I could say anything else, she disappeared in a flash of light.

"WAIT NO!.... Well darn..." I said to myself. Fang had woken up and was nuzzling my arm. "Hey buddy..." I reached out and scratched his head. "I've gotta go ok?" He looked at me and stood up determinedly. I groaned. "Oh not you too!" He gave me his wolf grin and wagged his tail. I sighed. "Ok, fine. I want you to run if there's any danger ok?" He shook his head no. "You know what, fine buck it!" I said with exasperation. "You wanna come then come, but don't say I didn't warn you!" He gave a few short yips that sounded remarkably close to a laugh. I stood up and left the library, running full-tilt towards Rarity's, hoping nopony saw me naked. My wolf was trying to keep pace, but he was unused to the new extent of his limbs and he kept tripping.

"Ooooh~ Sharky..." Rarity sighed as Sharky massaged her stomach. He was grinning widely, and Rarity was very much so enjoying herself. Then a bright flash of purple light came from the other side of the room. Rarity looked over and saw an unsteady Twilight looking at her with a mixture of fear and anger. "T-twilight!" Rarity scrambled to her hooves and stood up, blushing bright red. "It's very rude to come in unannounced!" She scolded her.

"R-rarity... g-get away from him..." Twilight said weakly. Rarity smirked, not noticing how drained Twilight looked.

"Jealous are we? Well don't worry yourself, I'll take good care of Sharky for you..." Twilight shook her head.

"N-not... S-sharky..." Twilight collapsed on the floor and a horrified look crossed Rarity's face.

"N-not Sharky? T-then who?" Rarity looked at Sharky and started to slowly back away.

"Of course I'm Sharky!" The clone protested. "Who else do you know that looks like this?" He gestured to himself. Rarity continued to back away.

"Nopony looks quite like you, but if there's one thing I've learned it's to trust my friends!" She said defiantly. Sharky sighed.

"That is... unfortunate..." He frowned. He stood up and started striding towards her.

"W-what are you doing? Get away from me you--"

*THWACK* Rarity fell to the ground, out cold.

"Why do these ponies keep coming in to ruin my fun?" Dark Sharky hissed to himself. Then he gave another evil grin. "Although on the bright side... I now have two unconcious ponies and a lockable door..." He laughed wickedly and closed the door....

"C'mon Fang, if you're coming with me ya gotta keep up!" I had paused to wait for him. We were more than halfway there, but Fang was way behind. I kept looking around to make sure nopony saw me, but I forgot to look up.

"YOU!!!" Said a very angry cyan pegasus as she crashed into my head. I fell to the ground dazed.

"Ow! Good shot!" I laughed. She flew up again and thumped herself down on my chest. Hard. "Ow!"

"Don't you laugh at me!!" Rainbow Dash said angrily. I frowned.

"What's wrong Dash?" I asked. She growled at me and hit me with a right cross to the cheek. "OW!"

"Don't you play dumb with me you big jerk!" She yelled angrily. "I'm here to teach you a lesson!" She started hitting my face with rapid blows from her forehooves. It hurt, but I was a lot bigger and stronger than her, so it wasn't too bad. I grabbed her forehooves in my hands.

"Big jerk? What did I do?" She hissed with anger at not being able to hit me, and started stomping on my chest with her back legs.

"You know what you did! You called me lame and told me the wonderbolts would never notice me!" She was crying as she struck me now, but I was seething with rage.

"I did WHAT!?!?" I screamed. Rainbow stopped hitting me and gave me a confused look. "THAT TEARS IT!! I AM SO FUCKING DEAD!!!" I yelled, totally enraged.

"What?" Rainbow Dash was really confused now. I looked down at her and growled angrily.

"NO TIME TO EXPLAIN. COME WITH ME!!!" I scooped her up in my arms and ran towards Rarity's boutique, wishing clothes weren't necessary before I confronted my double.

Uh oh, looks like the fit's about to hit the shan!

Confrontation

It took less than a minute for me to reach Carousel Boutique at the rate I was going. Unfortunately that meant I also left Fang way behind. Because I was holding Dash, she took the liberty of knocking for me. I hadn't yet explained what was going on to her, so it made me really happy that she was trusting me.

"Rarity, are you there?" Rainbow Dash called after knocking. I heard my own voice respond from within.

"Rarity is busy right now!" My voice called right back. I got an angry scowl.

"LIKE HELL SHE IS!!!" I raged. I put Dash down, lowered my shoulder, and charged Rarity's door. It broke off it's hinges and hit the floor of the boutique. "Wow, I can't believe I just did that..." I muttered. I didn't even check to see if it was locked. I looked in the boutique and saw myself crouched over an unconcious Twilight. I grinned at myself.

"Well, look what the cat dragged in!" My clone cheered. As if on cue, Opalescense ran by. We both stared at her for a second. I looked back faster than my clone, and saw that he was distracted. I took the oppritunity to charge him. He looked up and saw me running at him. Then, he GRINNED at me, and a yellow horn grew out of his head instantaneously. Before I could reach him, I slammed into a wall of yellow energy. "Did you think you could simply fight me alone?" He jeered.

"W-what the heck was that?!" I asked in shock. He laughed at me.

"Oh poor Sharky! Can't figure it out? I'll explain!" He cheered while he wrapped the aura around me. He lifted me in the air where I floated helplessly. "In the mirror world, there is no magic! My void is much much stronger than yours!" He laughed. I hoped Rainbow Dash saw what was happening, I decided to buy more time.

"Well then why haven't you been instantaneously copying everything?" I was assuming he wasn't, but I didn't really know.

"I can control my void!" He gloated. Crap.

"Well why is the horn you copied from Twilight yellow? Her horn is purple!" I hoped the answer to this question was a bit longer, I didn't have any more questions to stall with. My clone frowned.

"That's sad, I would have thought you intelligent enough to figure that one out yourself..." I had, but let's keep him talking. "I'm a mirror creature, yellow is the opposite of purple, ergo yellow horn. Enough questions. I would simply kill you now and save myself some trouble, but it will be much funnier to make you watch me take advantage of your friends first!" He laughed maniacally.

"NO!" I screamed, but he just laughed more and moved closer to Twilight. That's when a rainbow-colored bolt hit him in the face. The aura around me faded and I fell to the ground.

"DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH MY FRIENDS!" Yelled an angry Rainbow Dash. She was sitting on Dark Sharky's chest, pummeling him like she had me. He laughed and a yellow aura surrounded Dash. I got to my feet and rushed him again, but not before he threw Rainbow Dash into the nearest wall. She hit it back first with a sickening *CRACK* She fell to the ground, concious, but clearly in enormous pain. Dark Sharky had been laughing at her, but when my right cross connected with his cheek he shut right up.

"You wanna laugh now?! HUH!?" I yelled, throwing crazy punches at his face. It was a little weird, punching myself, but I was too pissed to care. He surrounded me with another aura and threw me at Rainbow Dash. She saw me coming and managed to move, but barely. He was laughing at us again. His face was covered in his own blood, but otherwise we hadn't done much to him.

"On second thought, maybe I will kill you now, and your rainbow friend can join you!" He shouted with glee. His happiness was really starting to creep me out. He lifted both me and Dash with his aura.

"Crap, this isn't what I expected to happen... Sorry Dash..." I mumbled to her. She didn't speak, I don't know if she could with the pain she was in. I looked at her back and it looked like both her wings had been broken by the slam into the wall. She did managed to send a forced smile to me though, and Dark Sharky laughed.

"Didn't know what you were dealing with hmmm? Well now you can die knowing that I will take advantage of your friends, and no one, or nopony for that matter, will save you or them!" He cackled. I smiled right back at him. He hadn't seen it, but a full grown wolf was sneaking up on him now.

"You're right, NOPONY will save us at all!" I laughed. Dark Sharky frowned.

"What are you so happy ab--" Right on that last word a full-grown Fang pounced on his back, ripping and biting like his life depended on it. Dark Sharky screamed, the aura around me and Dash disappeared and Fang was surrounded in yellow aura. Fang flew up off of Dark Sharky and straight to the ceiling. Fang cried out in pain as I stood and tried to charge my clone again. Dark Sharky looked up in time to see me coming, and stopped me with a wall of energy. It was obvious his energy was low because the aura around Fang and I was faint. Dark Sharky scowled. "It seems I have underestimated your capacity to suprise..." He growled at me.

"I'm just full of suprises!" I grinned. He snorted.

"Well, I'm not sticking around to die, sorry to disappoint." My eyes widened as I realized what he was about to do.

"NO! YOU COWARD!" I yelled as he grinned and disappeared in a flash of yellow light. His magical hold disappeared and I ran over to where he had been and punched the floor. "DAMN IT!" I yelled. Fang fell from the ceiling and landed on my back. "OOF!" The wind was knocked out of my lungs, but I hadn't really been hurt. Fang rolled of of me, clearly uninjured like me. I looked at the girls around me. RD could barely stand from her pain. Twilight was too drained to do anything. Rarity had a nasty bruise forming on her head. Crap, he'd already put at least 3 of the mane 6 out of commision. I realized I was still naked and tied a nearby cloth around my waist. Then I sat and thought.

Ok, my clone is still loose and god-knows-where, my only back-up right now is Fang, my clone can absorb instantaneously, and only 3 of the mane 6 are possibly still ok... And only Applejack would be any help in a fight... Ok, things looked pretty bad... Maybe Stormy could help? Oh, and maybe Fluttershy had some bigger animals that could lend a hand... paw. Well, since there's no way of knowing where Stormy is, Fluttershy, here I come.... after I take your friends to the hospital. I walked over to RD and squatted down so she could climb on my back. She was the only one NOT out cold, so she could hold on. She climbed up and I picked up Twilight and Rarity in my arms. They were actually pretty heavy all together, so I struggled to get them all to the hospital. Eventually, I did make it to the large white building and stumbled in the door.

"Oh hi Sh--" A nurse started to greet me. "OH CELESTIA!!! WHAT HAPPENED?!" Her cry brought other hospital staff running and they began to remove the girls from my grasp.

"I don't have time to explain, but I can trust you to take care of them right?" The nurse nodded. "Oh, and if I come back ask me for a password." She gave me a confused look.

"What will the password be?" She asked. I grinned.

"There is no password, but if I start guessing, don't let me near the girls." She began to look even more confused, but nodded. I ran out of the hospital. Fang had been waiting for me outside. "Ready to go boy?" I asked him. He barked and wagged his tail. I grinned at him. "Ok then, to Fluttershy's house, AWAY!!"

I got to Fluttershy's house about 45 minutes later. I would have gotten there sooner, but Fang still wasn't used to his new body and was slowing me down. I walked up to Fluttershy's door and knocked. I waited for about 4 minutes, but she didn't answer.

She must be busy... I thought to myself, but then Fang's ears pricked up. He turned towards the forest and was staring at it intently.

"What's wrong boy?" He didn't turn to look at me, but took off into the forest. I was a little stunned by his sudden movement, so I had to think a few seconds before I could realize I should chase after him. I took off into the forest in his wake. After running for a few minutes I reached a small clearing where Fang was sniffing feverishly. In the middle of the clearing there was a single tree. Hanging from the lowest branch of the tree was a broken rope. Below the broken rope were marks that looked like something had been dragged into the forest. Fang was sniffing the marks, and he took off in the direction they led. I sighed and took off after him. Luckily there weren't too many sticks on the ground, so I didn't injure my bare feet. When I finally found Fang, he was hiding on the edges of another clearing. I crept up next to him and crouched down. I pulled apart some of the foliage to see into the clearing. It was the strangest sight I ever saw. In the middle of the clearing, sitting on a throne made of carrots, was an unconcious Stormy. Fluttershy was in the corner of the clearing, unconcious as well. There were about 50 or so bunnies in a semi-circle around Stormy, prostrating themselves in front of him. One of the larger bunnies bounced up to Stormy's feet.

"Squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak!!!" He squeaked out. (Translation: My brothers! Long have we waited for our war god to appear! When he wakes, his fury and rage shall fall upon those who have wronged us!!!)

"Well this is weird..." I whispered to myself. I stood up and walked into the clearing. The bunnies all looked up at me in terror and gave a collective-

"SQUEEEEEEAAAAAAK!!!" (Translation: MONSTEEEEEEEEER!!!) The rabbits scattered and I walked up to Stormy.

"Hey buddy? Wake up Stormyyyyy!" I yelled in his face. He didn't move. I slapped him. He punched me with a forehoof. "OW!"

"Huh... what... S-sharky?" He said groggily. Then his eyes flew open. "SHARKY!" He flew into my gut and knocked me on my back. When I looked up at him he was staring intently into my eyes. He grinned widely. "SHARKY!" He yelled happily.

"N-nice to s-see y-you to S-stormy..." I gasped. He had started hugging me and he actually had a pretty good grip. "C-can you let me g-go now?" He released me.

"Oops, sorry... Hey, there's this guy that looks exac--"

"Exactly like me, I know. I acidentally made an evil copy of myself." I explained. "I take it you've met him?"

"Yeah, he knocked me and Fluttershy out.... FLUTTERSHY?! WHERE IS SHE?!" He panicked.

"Don't worry, she just over there. Looks like she's still out like a light though..." I walked over to Fluttershy and sure enough, she was still out. I picked her up. "Let's take her home." Stormy nodded and we walked out of the clearing.

"AHHHH WOLF!!" Stormy yelled. "RUN SHARKY, I'LL HOLD HIM OFF!" I laughed.

"Don't worry Stormy, it's just Fang!" I explained. He relaxed.

"Oh, ok!" He started trotting towards Fluttershy's house.

"Wait, that's it?! You don't even wanna know why he's an adult now?" Stormy shook his head, still trotting away.

"No, not really." I scratched my head in confusion with my free hand, then followed him.

I explained Evil Sharky and mirror monsters to Stormy on our way. We made it back to Fluttershy's house and I tucked her into her bed.

"Ok, Sharky, what next?" Stormy asked.

"Next, you go home. You're already injured-" I pointed to the bump on his head. "- and I don't want to risk you getting hurt even more." Stormy laughed.

"You can't tell me what to do! I'm coming with you, I don't care if you don't like it." He said nonchalantly, like this whole damn thing was a picnic.

"Fine," I sighed. "but if you get hurt, don't say I didn't warn you." He smiled.

"Deal, so, where to next?" I scratched my head and sighed.

"I... don't know. He teleported to escape me and I've no idea where he went." Stormy thought for awhile.

"Well, if I were a mirror monster, and I failed to take over my original's real life, I'd start a new one where nopony knew the original very well. It'd have to be a place where nopony would expect me either, someplace with high security and stuff..." He mused. We shared a look.

"Canterlot." We said together.

Dark Sharky breathed in the night air. The coins left in his counterpart's pockets had been more than enough to buy a ticket to Canterlot. Plus, his double knew the night princess, surely she would provide him lodging. Dark Sharky grinned at the thought of all the mayham he could cause in a city as big as Canterlot, and likely never be caught! After all, who would expect a royal night knight to cause disaster in the home of his princess employer? Dark Sharky let out a cackle that floated out the window into the night, left behind by the speeding train.

To Canterlot!

"Well, we can't expect to fight him ourselves, I'm not sure Fang and I will even be able to get into Canterlot without freaking anypony out! If hundreds of screaming ponies don't alert evil me to our presence, I don't know what will!" Me and Stormy had been arguing about what to do next.

"Well, don't you think he'll set off screaming ponies too?" Stormy countered. I thought about it for a moment.

"No, he'll get there tomorrow at night, so most likely everypony will be asleep. Plus, he doesn't have a wolf with him." I countered.

"Well, then what do you propose we do?" Stormy asked angrily. I thought for a moment. Then I grinned.

"I propose we ask Pinkie Pie, expert on Pinkie Physics!" I cheered. I dashed out of Fluttershy's house and ran towards Ponyville. Stormy looked really confused, but he followed me. Good thing too, it was already dark out and my only other company was Fang, by my side like always. It's like he belongs there or something.

We made it to Sugarcube corner about 25 minutes later. Fang was getting more used to his adult body, so he was only slightly behind Stormy and I. We walked in (the door was open) and saw Mr. and Mrs. Cake behind the counter. They weren't working, it was still Sunday after all, but they were talking. I cleared my throat to get their attention.

*eh ehm* "Is Pinkie pie here?" I asked. They turned towards me.

"Yeah, she's upstairs." Mr. Cake answered simply. I nodded.

"Thank you." I said. Stormy and I walked upstairs. There was a small hall with a few doors upstairs, and we weren't sure which door was Pinkie's. We decide to try the one with three ballons on it. (Duh.) I knocked and stepped back from the door.

"Who iiiiis it~?" Pinkie Pie sang.

"It's Sharky and Stormy!" I yelled through the door.

"Ooooh friends!" She cheered. I heard her bounce to the door. She opened it and smiled at Stormy and I. She had her party cannon.

*BOOM* I was blasted in the face by confetti, banners, party hats, and a cake.

"THAT'S FOR HURTING MY FRIEND RAINBOW DASH YOU BIG MEANIE!!!!" She yelled. The confetti, banners, and hats had all bounced off my face, but I had to wipe my eyes clear of the cake.

"That wasn't Sharky!" Stormy yelled at Pinkie. She gave him a confused look.

"Whaddya mean it wasn't Sharky? Rainbow Dash told me that Sharky broke her heart and YOU--" She pointed a pink hoof at Stormy's face. "-- Went to go beat him up!" She was screeching a little.

"That wasn't Sharky, that was an evil copy of Sharky." Stormy explained. "This is the real Sharky." He pointed at me, still standing, but covered in cake an surrounded by various party items.

"Oh, that makes sense!" She smiled and bounced downstairs. "Nevermind that thing about firing Sharky Mr. Cake, he didn't really break Rainbow Dash's heart, it was an evil copy of him!" I looked at Stormy.

"She got me FIRED on request?"

"No one messes with Pinkie Pie for a reason." Stormy said.

"Why does she keep saying evil me broke her heart? I thought he just insulted her..." Stormy looked at me and rolled his eyes.

"You can't be serious right?" He asked. I got a confused look. He facehoofed. Pinkie came bouncing back up the stairs.

"Ok then, what did you guys wanna see me for?" She asked like she HADN'T just shot me in the face. I wiped most of the cake from my face and answered her.

"For the same reason you just shot me in the face with a cannon, my evil double is causing trouble." I laughed at my own Zecora speech. They gave me funny looks and I continued. "Anyway, we think he's on his way to Canterlot and we need your help to get there." She beamed at me.

"Why don't we just walk into Canterlot?" She asked sweetly.

"One does not simply walk into Mordor, Pinkie Pie." I said, jumping at the chance to make a refrence to LOTR. Pinkie Pie and Storm gave me funny looks.

"I thought you were going to Canterlot..." She said confusedly. I remembered where I was and the fact that nopony would get the refrence. I sighed.

"Nevermind, we can't walk in because everypony will freak out when they see something like me. Oh, we're also bringing a wolf which will freak ponies out as well." She gave me another confused look.

"You have a wolf?" She asked. I looked down at my side, and sure enough, Fang wasn't there. He must have stopped outside the building. I whistled sharply.

"Fang, come here boy!" I called. I heard screams from downstairs as the Cakes caught sight of Fang. He jumped up the stairs just a few seconds later though, so I guess they didn't do anything to him. "Sorry Mr. and Mrs. Cake! That was my pet wolf, he's mostly harmless unless you're an evil copy of me, so don't worry!" I yelled down to them.

"O-ok, if y-you say so..." Came Mr. Cake's stunned response. I groaned, just when everypony had stopped pointing at me and screaming, I go and adopt a wolf.

"Well he's just the most adorable thing ever!" Pinkie Pie squealed. She hug-tackled Fang and started rubbing him vigerously. Fang took the sudden blow like a man though, and I was proud of him for it. I saw a green-with-envy Gummy pop his head out from around a corner and give Fang the "I'll get you when you least expect it" eyes. I cleared my throat to get Pinkie's attention.

*eh ehm*

"Got something stuck in your throat Sharky?" Pinkie asked without looking up from Fang.

"No, I'm still waiting to see if you can get us to Canterlot without us being seen by everypony." I said. She looked up at me.

"Weeeellll, assuming he got on a train tonight, he still won't be there 'til tomorrow night." She mused, still rubbing Fang's side with both hooves. She frowned. "What makes you think I can get you into Canterlot so fast and secretly anyway?"

"Simple, Pinkie Physics." I stated. Her jaw dropped.

"You know about that?!" She gasped. Stormy and I laughed.

"Everyone knows Pinkie!" I yelled. "You pop up out of nowhere all the time!" She smiled.

"Ok, I'll help you, but why don't you get a good night's sleep and I'll get you to Canterlot tomorrow night!" She said happily. I hadn't realized how tired I was, but when she said 'good night's sleep', I almost fell over in exhaustion.

"G-good Idea Pinkie..." I yawned. "This can wait until tomorrow. I'm heading home." I started walking downstairs and Fang leapt after me, eager to escape Pinkie. I don't know what Stormy or Pinkie or the Cakes did after I left, and I really didn't care. I got to the library, found Spike sleeping in his little bed, and curled up in my corner. I felt a big warm wolf curl up next to me, and I fell asleep instantly after that.

"CRAP!" I jumped about three feet off the ground as I woke up. "I can't believe I let myself sleep while evil me is still out there!" I had accidentally flipped Fang with my leap, and I woke up Spike with my yelling.

"Sharky?" When did you get here?" Spike asked groggily. "Also, where's Twilight?"

"Um, I got here late last night and Twilight's in the hospital." I told him.

"WHY IS TWILIGHT IN THE HOSPITAL!?" He yelled at me, clearly enraged. I took a step back and bumped into the wall of books behind me.

"She exhausted herself trying to help me defeat my evil clone!" I explained quickly. Spike calmed down and gave me a confused look.

"What was that?" I sighed.

"Look, I accidentally made an evil copy of myself. My copy almost killed Fang." I pointed to the full-grown wolf at my side. Spike looked more confused, but let me finish talking. "Twilight used a growth spell on him to save his life, but it almost drained her. I tried to tell her to stay here and let me fight my clone, but she ignored me and teleported away." Spike nodded and most of his confusion was cleared. "When I found her and my clone, she was out cold from exhaustion. After my clone ran away, I ran her and the other mares he hurt to the hospital." I finished explaining. Spike looked like he understood.

"Yeah, sounds like something Twilight would do..." He muttered.

"What sounds like something I'd do?" Twilight asked as she trotted into the bedroom.

"TWILIGHT YOU'RE OK!" I yelled happily, grinning like a fool. I ran over and wrapped her in a big hug. Twilight's aura wrapped around me and pushed me a few feet away from her.

"Yes, I am. So are Rarity and Rainbow Dash." She said sucpiciously. Rarity and RD trotted into the room. RD's wings were bound, so I assume they were still broken. "Now, how do I know you're the real Sharky?" Twilight asked.

"I'll handle this dear," Rarity offered. She trotted over to me. "Sharky, you know I think of you as a CLOSE PERSONAL FRIEND right?" She was blinking her eyes. A lot.

"Ummm... I think of you as a CLOSE PERSONAL FRIEND too. Why are we talking like this?" I answered. Rarity let out a long sigh.

"As much as it pains me to say it, this is the real Sharky." Rarity confirmed. I gave her a confused look.

"Why is that a bad thing?" I asked. I think she was going to answer, but she was interrupted by two mares hug-tackling me.

"THANK CELESTIA!" Twilight cheered.

"We thought you'd hunt down your evil you without help!" RD added.

"Hey! I had Fang!" I protested. The girls moved their heads into view and rolled their eyes.

"You looked for him didn't you?" Twilight asked.

"Uhhh... well..." I stuttered. All three of the mares groaned.

"ACHOO!!!" Spike sneezed. We all turned towards him.

"You ok Spike?" I asked him.

"Yeah..." He sniffled and wiped his nose on his arm. "I just think I got a little cold from playing in the snow with your wolf yesterday."

"Oh, I'm sorry..." I said. Then I had a thought. "Wait, does that mean we can't send letters?"

"Eeyup. Sorry..." Spike sniffled. Crap, so much for having the princesses handle it.

"No problem dude..." I sighed. "Well, I can't leave until tonight... so I guess I'm goin' to work." The three mares gasped.

"Work?! Are you joking?!" Rainbow yelled. "You have to kill yourself, and you're worried about work!?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" I asked. "After all, I'm taking Fang and Stormy, so I--"

"Ummm no, we're all going." Twilight interrupted. I laughed.

"No, you're not." I said firmly.

"Just try and stop us!" RD argued.

"You really don't have a choice in the matter dear, we've all made up our minds." Rarity added. I groaned.

"I can see I'm out voted... Fine! Just... promise me you'll be careful?..." I asked.

"We promise!" They called in unison.

After that I left to go to work, against the pleas from the girls to stay. I got there and immersed myself in the storm of flour and egg that was Sugarcube Corner. We managed to finish all of today's and tomorrow's orders because I was so intent on my work. Fang actually helped me work! He walked around and cleaned up any spills. At the end of the work day I got paid my usual amount and Pinkie Pie and I got ready to leave.

"So, you're just gonna show me how to get there then you're gonna leave ok?" I asked her.

"Okie dokie lokie!" She cheered. I looked down at my side to make sure Fang was still with me. As always, he was.

"Ok..." I breathed. "Let's do this!"

"Wasn't Stormy coming too?" Pinkie asked. He would have, but I didn't want to waste time and risk the girls catching up and coming along as well.

"He was, but he uh... changed his mind. Turns out he was busy today." I lied. It hurt me to lie to these girls, but it had to be done. I wasn't risking them getting hurt. Pinkie seemed to accept my answer, and I grabbed Fang and we went through a series of events so confusing that I actually have no idea what happened, but I ended up in The hedge maze in the dead of night.

Wrong Sharky

"Ok Fang... how the hell do we find our way outta this maze?" I asked my pet. He looked at me, rolled his eyes, and ran off in one direction. THROUGH the hedges. I facepalmed myself for not thinking of that first, and took off in his wake.

"Oh course we shall provide thee lodging!" Luna exclaimed. "Thou art a royal knight now, after all!" Dark Sharky grinned.

"Thank you princess, glad to be in your service." He said humbly. Luna nodded and dimissed him from her chambers.

"Remember, thine official knighting is on the morrow!" Luna yelled at his retreating form. Dark Sharky didn't turn, but waved over his shoulder. The lack of respect annoyed Luna, but she let it slide. He was new here after all. Outside her room, Dark Sharky was met by 4 guards.

"We were called to escort you to your room sir." One of them explained. Dark Sharky grinned evily.

"Would you like to spar first?" He asked innocently. "I need to practice fighting so I can do my job well." The guards exchanged looks.

"We were told you were against fighting for sport... but if you insist, follow us to the training grounds." The same guard said. Dark Sharky grinned and nodded. He followed them through several halls and many, many rooms. Eventually they walked out of the castle to a large open field. The full moon shone down on the field, making it easy to see even though it was night. In this field weapons, armor, training dummies, and a little blood was littered everywhere. In the center of the field a large ring was totally clear, and two ponies were fighting each other in it. Many ponies were sitting around, watching the fight. "So, after the current fight finishes, which of us would you like to spar against?" The guard asked.

"All of you." Dark Sharky said. The guards began laughing.

"BWAHAHAHAH!" They jeered.

"N-no seriously, w-which one?" The guard asked, still laughing. Dark Sharky didn't bat an eyelash.

"All of you." He repeated. The guards laughed even harder and rolled onto their backs.

"O-ok then. I-if you're sure son!" The guard laughed at him. Dark Sharky grinned. He walked towards the ring just as the current fight ended. The guards rolled back onto their hooves, still laughing, and followed him. He walked to the center of the ring. "Ok, here are the rules." The guard began to explain. "One, no using weapons in the ring. Two, state challenges directly, it is up to the challenged to accept the match. Three, other than that, win at any cost. If you get knocked out of the ring, or just knocked out, you lose." He finished. Dark Sharky grinned.

"I challenge these four laughing fools to a match!" He announced. At the word 'fools' the guards snapped out of their laughing and growled at him.

"You're gonna eat those words, kid!" The only speaking guard growled over the laughter of the crowd. Dark Sharky grinned, raised his right hand, and gave them the 'come and get me' signal. The guards formed a semi-circle and charged him in formation.

"Ok Fang, now what?" I asked him. We had managed to force our way throught the hedges, only getting a few small cuts. He scratched his head with one of his back legs an looked up at me expectantly. "Right, you can't think of everything now can you?" I asked him. He started panting. I sighed and racked my brain.

Well, if he's here, he's already gone to the princesses I assume. I could go explain the situation to them... I thought to myself. Yeah! If I tell them the situation, they'll help me get rid of my evil self! I cheered mentally. I motinoned for Fang to follow me, and we took off towards the looming form of Canterlot palace.

"Ok Pinkie Pie, we're ready!" Twilight cheered as she walked into Sugarcube Corner. Twilight, Rarity, RD, Stormy, Fluttershy, and Applejack were all right behind her, arriving at exactly the time Sharky had told them. Stormy and three girls that had originally told Sharky they were coming had told Applejack and Fluttershy about what was going on, and they had decided to come too. Mr. and Mrs. Cake were nowhere to be seen, but Pinkie Pie came bouncing down the stairs.

"Whaddya mean Twilight? Sharky already took Fang and left!" Pinkie responded.

"HE DID WHAT?!" They yelled collectively.

"SHARKY... ALREADY... LEFT... WITH... FANG..." Pinkie Pie said slowly, making sure to emphasize every word so that they'd understand.

"GRAGH! Of course he did!" Rainbow Dash growled and threw her hooves up in anger.

"Just like him to not accept help!" Twilight added.

"I can't believe he lied to us!" Rarity exclaimed.

"Oh no, I'm sure he was just looking out for us..." Fluttershy mumbled. The others quieted down at this.

"He's gonna get himself killed to look out for us..." Twilight sighed. "Well, I don't know about you girls, but I'm not about to let him face himself alone." Twilight said with determination. She looked into the eyes of all her friends and saw the same determination she felt. They all nodded at her. Twilight turned to Pinkie. Pinkie was smiling and bouncing.

"Ooooh~ Trail trip!" She squealed. The girls all laughed, Stormy just stood there and watched them like they were crazy.

"Okayyyyy, if you're all done with the giggle fest--" he said as they finished laughing. "We have to go help Sharky! Knowing him, he's problably already in trouble!" The girls sobered up right away.

"Stormy's right..." Applejack said. "Our friend needs our help whether he wants it er not." The others all nodded their heads in agreement.

"Well I can't take more than one pony at a time, so this could take awhile!" Pinkie warned. Before anypony could react, she tackled Twilight and they were gone.

Dark Sharky grinned at the approaching guards. Clearly they had no idea who he was. He waited until they were only a few feet away from him. He instantly copied one of the pegasus guards and grew a little more muscle and a pair of snow white wings. He blasted off the ground just before they collided with him. They couldn't move fast enough to adjust their course, so they smashed together. Dark Sharky laughed at the pain of those below him and the irony of how the wings made him look angelic. He then thrust himself downwards into the heads of the guards, smashing their faces into the ground beneath his feet. The collision let out a sickening-

*CRACK* and none of the guards moved. Dark Sharky laughed at the sound and gave the rest of the spectators a threatening glare.

"Anypony else wanna go?" He asked, still standing on the heads of the felled guards. Most of them cowered back in fear. One pony however, the largest pony Dark Sharky had ever seen,other than Luna and Celestia, (he had Sharky's memories, so that means all of those in the show are included.) stepped forward.

"I'd love to give you a go." He boomed. His voice seemed to explode out of him and it carried extremely well. "My name is Steel Boulder, second in command to Luna herself." He stated simply. He didn't say it like he was bragging, but like a simple everyday sentence. He was bucking HUGE , his body rippled with pure muscle, and though it wasn't obvious from looking at him, he was a pegasus. He didn't wear any armor, and he was black, like the rest of the guards. Dark Sharky grinned evilly.

"I'm Sharky, and frankly, you have no idea who you're dealing with, Tiny." Dark Sharky laughed. Steel narrowed his eyes and stomped his forehoof, sending everything, including nearby ponies, slightly into the air.

"You dare to insult me?" He asked calmly. Dark Sharky laughed.

"Tell you what Thickness, I'll even go easy on you!" Dark Sharky jeered. At that, Steel turned sharply and bucked Dark Sharky. One leg hit his stomach, the other hit his groin. Dark Sharky flew back about twenty feet.

"OK THAT FUCKING HURT!!!" He screamed. His stomach didn't hurt nearly as much as his delicates. "DAMN, I THINK ONE OF MY BALLS POPPED!!!" He was still screaming. "YOU"RE GONNA PAY STEEL!" He somehow managed to get to his feet. He instantly absorbed Steel's magic and grew to the size of the Incredible Hulk. His pain faded as he grew. He opened his wings and felt like a little plane. Steel's wings were HUGE. Dark Sharky gave an evil grin and rushed Steel. He caught him off guard and managed to filp him onto his back by slamming into Steel's chest with his shoulder. With Steel on his back. Dark Sharky grinned at his oppritunity for revenge, reared back his right leg, and kicked Steel right in the balls.

*CLANG* Dark Sharky paused for a second, then he grabbed his foot and hopped around, howling in pain.

"ARGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

"Heh, some ponies call me Steel Boulders." Steel laughed. He rolled back to his hooves and took a battle stance. Dark Sharky let the pain subside from his foot and assumed a ready stance as well. They began to circle each other. Dark Sharky used his peripherals to scan the outside of the ring. He found a sword near edge of the fighting ring and he grinned menacingly. When he approached the sword he drooped into a roll, picking up the blade on his way. He stood up, threw the sword at Steel's head and charged right after it. Steel saw the blade coming, but was by no means the fastest pony ever. He managed to dodge it, but it was so close it shaved a lock off his mane. What he couldn't dodge however, was Dark Sharky's fist following right behind it. The blow connected with Steel's chest and the wind was knocked out of him. It didn't hurt him very much; he was used to being hit by extremely forceful blows. It did carry enough force to throw him up and out of the ring. He lost. Steel scrambled to his hooves. "CHEATER!" He screeched.

"Ha, so what? I won and that's all that matters!" Dark Sharky gloated. Steel was turning red from rage.

"It was a dishonorable victory!" He yelled. "Anypony with any honor would at the very least have the decency to follow rules!" Dark Sharky laughed.

"Honor is for fools and the weak. OTSS!" He cheered. Steel Turned his head in confusion.

"OTSS?" He asked.

"Ah, weak AND stupid!" Dark Sharky jeered. "Oh well, I'm sure it'd take me all night to explain it to you. I'm out!" He turned to leave and was intercepted by a wall of guards. He smiled. "Are ya gonna let me through, or do I get to make you?" The guards didn't budge.

"You talk big, but you can't take us all." One of them piped up. Dark Sharky raised an eyebrow.

"Can't I?" He then used his new size and strength to charge right through them. He laughed at their feeble effort to stop him and stomped back to the castle. Nopony tried to stop him this time. He got to the castle, but changed his mind once there and decided to check out the statue garden.

I was making good progress towards the castle. I had just cleared the gardens when Luna and a few guards appeared out of nowhere.

"Sharky! How could you brutally attack our guards?!" Luna boomed at him. She sounded upset. I gave her a confused look.

"What are you talking about Luna? I just got here! I was trying to find you actually!" I protested. Luna scoffed at me.

"We met with thee not but a few hours ago! And don't DARE to call us by our name! Thou then went to the sparring grounds and failed to heed the rules of fair combat!" She yelled. "Then, were that not enough, thou then attacked guards outside the sparring ring!" I suddenly understood what was going on.

"No no no no Luna, that wasn't me!" I tried. She slapped me with her hoof.

"DON'T CALL US LUNA!! We have multiple reports that say it was thou! Thou art impossible to mistake after all! Sharky, thou art under arrest, we will be holding thee in the dungeon until we can find a spell to send thee back to wherever thou came from!" My eyes went wide with panic.

"NO, IT WASN'T ME!!" I protested. Her aura wrapped around me and bound my limbs to my sides. I couldn't move. "I ACIDENTALLY SUMMONED A MIRMMMMMFFF!!!" Shw gagged me with magic and we began to head towards the castle. Fang barked at my captors vigerously the whole time, but never attacked them. Luna turned to face Fang, as if only having just noticed him. Her aura wrapped around him as well, and flung him far off into the distance. "MMMMMMMMFFFFFFFF!!!!" I screamed. Fang was going to die from the impact of the fall! I struggled against my bond, but to no avail. I drooped with sadness as I realized there was nothing I could do. I wanted to cry, but then I had a thought. I concentrated my void on Luna's magic. I felt searing pain as a huge rush of power began to flow into me. It was nowhwere NEAR all her power, I was still absorbing at the same rate as I would a normal pony. This put into perspective how large Luna's power must be. I started to tear up, but I managed to locate Fang's falling from through my blurry vision. I could reach him with the little bit of Luna's magic even from this distance. I managed to lower him to the ground somewhere near the back of the hedge maze, but my head felt like it was going to explode from the strength of the magic. I redirected the flow of Luna's magic and started trying to disrupt her power. I knew there was no way I could over-power her, but when I conflicted her magic against itself, the aura was disrupted and I fell to the ground. Before Luna or the guards could react, I took off into the garden.

"Ok friends, now that we're all here, let's go find Sharky!" Twilight called out to her friends. Right then, Fang fell into the middle of the little group. He stood up and shook his head in a daze. He realized who he was surrounded by, and started whining and pawing their sides.

"What's wrong Fang, is Sharky stuck in a well?" Stormy asked frantically. Fang titled his head confusedly, then turned back to the girls. He continued to whine and paw them. He started barking and ran off in one direction.

"He wants us to follow him..." Fluttershy mumbled. She started trotting off in Fang's direction. The others exchanged looks, (except Stormy, who simply trotted off as well.) and followed Fluttershy.

Showdown

I ran. I ran as fast as my legs could carry me. Apparently breaking the magic hold of Luna was extremely shocking, so it took awhile for anypony to realize I was escaping. By the time they had begun moving, I had run into the hedge maze. I didn't really think it would stop them from coming, but it was my best shot. I didn't hear them start running after me, but I heard Luna tell the guards to get Celestia.

She must not want to risk fighting me. I guess she doesn't know the extent of my power. It made sense, I wouldn't want to charge after a mostly unknown creature with mostly unknown powers either. I grinned at my luck, and delved further into the maze. Then I realized how easy it would be for them to simply fly over and find me. I focused the little bit of Luna magic I had and tried to conceal myself. I felt the magic rush through me, and I looked down at myself. I somehow made myself invisible, including my cloth, but using the magic caused me extreme pain. I staggered and began breathing heavily, but I was mostly ok. It was a really wierd feeling, I felt so powerful with the magic, but so hurt after I used it. I decided to drain the magic out of myself, risking losing the invisibility. I felt the magic flow out of me, and I sighed in relief. It felt great to not have that much pure power inside you. To my suprise, the invisibility spell held, so I was still concealed from the pegasi guards that had begun flying over the maze. I sat there a few minutes, watching the guards search. Then, a warm snout bumped into my shoulder.

Dark Sharky had been close enough to see what had happened to his good duplicate. He grinned evilly as Sharky ran into the maze.

If I kill my counterpart and bring his body to Luna, I'll be able to pretend I'M the original and win her favor once more! He cheered mentally. As Luna left to go get her sister, Dark Sharky released Steel's magic and snuck towards the maze entrance. He walked in and started searching, hoping to run into himself. Instead, a wolf ran down a path in front of him, not pausing for a second to realize Dark Sharky was there. Dark Sharky recognzed the wolf as the one that attacked him in the boutique. He growled quietly and scowled. He began to follow after the wolf, but stopped as he heard familiar voices following the wolf. He ducked in to a nearby hedge and waited. Soon enough, he saw seven familiar ponies trotting down the same path the wolf had taken. Ah, my good counterpart's TV show friends! He thought to himself. He laughed at the unsuspecting company. He knew he had to find and kill his counterpart, but the evil in him was too strong to allow him to ignore this chance. He started slowly following the 7 ponies, absorbing Twilight's magic as he walked.

"I can't believe he did this..." Twilight mumbled to her friends. "Why does he keep leaving me?... us..." Nopony acted like they noticed her slip up.

"It's just his nature." Stormy said. "He did the same thing while we fought the manticore. Instead of letting me get up and help him fight, he kept the manticore on himself and didn't let it near me. The one time it got to me I had thrown myself at it." The girls nodded.

"That does sound like our Sharky. He wouldn't even let me cook in my own house!" Rarity added. Twilight nodded at her.

"Me either. He said something about it being ridiculous that mares were expected to cook." They all gave her looks of confusion.

"But... that's just how things work..." Fluttershy mumbled.

"That's what I said!" Twilight exclaimed. "He still didn't listen. He was really upset by the idea of a mare cooking and cleaning because it was expected..."

"Whew... That's good!" Rainbow Dash laughed. Everypony but Stormy looked at her with confusion.

"An why does that matter ta you?" Applejack asked. Rainbow Dash blushed.

"N-no r-reason..." She stuttered out. The oher looked like they were gonna ask more questions, but Pinkie beat them to the punch.

"I'm sure she's just happy that Sharky sticks up for us mares! He's real nice and always works really hard and stuff. You'd really like having him as a worker on your farm AJ, he's always working and he--" She was silenced by Stormy's hoof.

"They get it, Pinkie. Sharky's nice. I seem to hear that all the time from you girls." Stormy sounded a little bitter.

"What's wrong Stormy, you sound upset..." Fluttershy asked.

"Nothing, I'm just a little mad that instead of saving my new best friend, you're all here discussing how nice he is." The girls all jumped as they realized Fang was leaving them behind. They had been slowing down to talk.

"Mah gosh yer right Stormy!" Applejack gasped. "We better get goin'!" They all took off after Fang. Little did they know that their discussion had alerted Evil Sharky to their presence.

"FANG you're ok!" I exclaimed. Fang had pressed his muzzle against my shoulder, and he looked a little shocked to have hit something. He looked around confusedly, searching for the source of the voice no doubt. "I'm right in front of you boy!" I whispered to him. His eyes locked on my location, but it was obvious he was still confused. I sighed. "Fang, I'm invisible. You won't be able to see me, so don't hurt yourself looking." He nodded in my general direction, then started looking around like he lost something. "I told you not to look for me Fang." I said with exasperation. He shook his head in my direction, and continued to look around. He started walking off in the direction he had come from, so I stood up and followed him.

Dark Sharky snuck up on the company. When he was close enough, he knocked Twilight out with her own magic.

"Twilight!?" One of the mares yelled as she fell to the ground. Dark Sharky wrapped his yellow aura around them and forced them to the ground.

"Well, well, well. Look who we have here!" Dark Sharky laughed. The group tried to look at him, but they couldn't move their bodies. He walked in front of them. "Let's see if I can remember you all... hmmmm..." He walked over to RD. "Ah! You're the worthless piece of trash that had the audacity to ask me out!" He laughed in her face. She struggled against the magic, but couldn't do anything. Rainbow Dash started crying. She knew it wasn't really Sharky, but the words stung like he had said them. "Ugh, tears." Dark Sharky hissed in disgust. He gave Rainbow Dash a sharp blow to the back of her head, knocking her out. "All better!" He shouted gleefully. He then stood back up and walked over to Stormy. "Ah, the wise friend of my goody twin. You kicked me in the balls if I remember correctly!" Stormy didn't flinch, he just crouched there motionless, returning Dark Sharky's glare. Somehow he managed to talk.

"When I get out of here, you're dead." He stated calmly, it was obviously strained though.

"Good thing you won't be waking up again hmm?" Dark Sharky returned.

"I'm not asleep." Stormy said confusedly. Dark Sharky stood up and smashed Stormy's face with a kick. Stormy went out like a light.

"Sleep tight!" Dark Sharky laughed. He stood and walked over to Applejack. "You never did anything to me, but I'm an asshole, soooo" He whacked Applejack in the head like he had Rainbow Dash, but Applejack didn't go out. "Ooooh, a tough on are we? My mistake!" He stood, lifted his leg and brought his heel down on the back of her head. Applejack went out this time. "Good." He turned to the last two concious ponies. "You and her are best friends, right?" He asked Rarity while pointing to Fluttershy. He released his hold on Rarity's head, and she slowly shook her head yes. Dark Sharky gave her an evil grin. "Then I think I'll keep you concious so you can watch me take her!!" He laughed and started walking towards Fluttershy. Then a thought occured to him.

Wait, I knocked 4 out and left 2 awake... but there were 7... He began looking around quickly. He turned his attention back to Rarity and released the magic holding her mouth.

"Where did the pink one go?" He asked.

"Buck you!" Rarity yelled at him. He clicked his tounge at her.

"That wasn't very ladylike, now was is?" He re-restrained her and continued to look around. That's when a full-grown wolf tackled him.

"Luna!" One of the guards came rushing back to his princess.

"Yes? Hath thou found Sharky?" Luna asked. The guard shook his head.

"No princess, he has disappered, but your sister's student and her friends are in the hedge maze!" The guard reported.

"Curses..." She groaned. Sharky had escaped. Why was Twilight here though? "Take us to our sibling's student." She commanded. The guard nodded and flew off towards the maze with Luna in tow.

I hadn't gotten there in time to see him hurt my friends, but I did get there as he beat Fang against the ground using magic. I was enraged, but I kept my head. I was invisible, so I knew I could easily sneak up on him. I was almost to him, when he started trying to magically rip off Fang's tail. Then I lost it and threw a haymaker at his face.

*Crack* He stumbled backwards and dropped a whimpering Fang into the ground.

"OW! WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?!" He shrieked. I didn't answer, but slowly crept around him. He started looking around for his assulter. I crept up and punched him in the gut. He doubled over and his breath left him. He blasted a beam of magic in the direction of the blow. It hit me in the chest and blasted me back about 15 feet. The magic outlined my form. "Ah, my good twin here to save the day!" Dark Sharky cackled. "Clever trick there, invisibility." He blasted more magic at where I had fallen, but I rolled out of the way. My chest felt burned, but I don't think I was bleeding. He kept blasting magic at the area I had fallen in, but I had already rolled to my feet and started running behind him. I got right behind him, but when I got near him he whirled around and hammer-armed me in the side of the head. I grunted an stumbled into the hedge by my side, but I didn't fall. He laughed. "Did you really think you could beat me? I'm so much more powerful than you. Give up!" He taunted. He began charging another magic blast, but he didn't realize he had released his hold on my friends. A blue aura wrapped itself around his legs and pulled them out from under him. He face-planted into the dirt.

"Take that you brute!" Rarity cried.

"Grrr. I guess I'll have to even the playing field..." Dark Sharky growled. He focused on Rarity and knocked her out like he had Twilight. While he was distracted, I cleared my head of the ringing that had accompanied Dark Sharky's blow. I stood over him as he lay on the ground, and I stomped on his head. I managed to make contact, but he refocused his aura and flipped me backwards. I managed to land on my feet.

Cool, magic backflip! I thought to myself. I looked back to Dark Sharky as he jumped back to his feet.

"Face it, you can't fight what you can't see!" I yelled at him. I jumped to the side expectantly, and dodge the magic bolt he threw at my voice. Fang managed to get back up, and he attacked evil me again. Fang was surrounded by a yellow aura, and flung away, just like Luna had thrown him.

"I've got you!" Fluttershy shouted. She flew up and caught Fang. They both continued to fly backward, but Fluttershy was slowing them down greatly. I ran up to evil me and kicked his shin.

"OW!" He yelled. He hopped on one leg, holding his injury. I took the oppritunity to uppercut him in his chin. He screamed through his teeth and sent out another blast of magic. The blast caught me in my right shoulder, and it dropped to my side lamely. I was running out of options fast. "THAT'S IT! I'M GONNA EVEN THIS OUT!" Dark Sharky screamed. He sent out a wave of magic, but I don't think it effected me at all. "HA! THE INVISIBILITY IS GONE!" He cheered. I looked down at my hands, but I still couldn't see them. When I looked up, Dark Sharky was whirling around, looking for me I guess. I knew I couldn't keep fighting like this, but I had an idea.

"The magic is Luna's, Twilight's magic could never disperse this spell!" I taunted him. He blasted magic at me again, weaponized this time, but I sidestepped and he missed. "You'll never be better then me! Even if you copied Luna or Celestia you couldn't disperse this spell!" I continued. He got mad and blasted uncontrollably. I managed to dodge a few, but I took some blasts to my chest and left arm. "There's only one being here stronger than those two, and you don't have the strength to use his power!" I jeered. My evil clone got an evil smile and stopped blasting.

"We'll see about that!" He laughed. He took off into the hedge maze, and I let him run. Pinkie Pie came out of nowhere with her party cannon.

"I'LL GET YOU YOU BIG--" She stopped midsentence. "NO! I LET HIM GET AWAY!" She wailed.

"No, I got rid of him." I interrupted her.

"AHHH GHOST!" She screamed. She turned her cannon towards me.

"NO I'M NOT A GHOST! I'M JUST INVISIBLE!" I yelled at her, not eager to take a cake to the face again.

"Oh, ok. What did you do?" She asked. I sighed.

"I've either solved our problem, or released a mad god."

Unexpected Results

Pinkie Pie would most likely have responded to that, but then Luna came crashing down from the sky.

"PINKIE PIE!! WHAT HATH OCCURED HERE!?!" Luna screamed as she gazed upon the beaten bodies of my friends. Not in Royal Canterlot voice, just a girly scream. I decided being around the unconcious bodies of these ponies most likely wouldn't improve Luna's opinion of me, so I turned to take my leave. "NOT SO FAST SHARKY!!" Luna yelled again, this time in Royal Canterlot voice. Her aura wrapped around me again, tightly this time.

"LUNA WAIT! I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU SAW ME, BUT I SWEAR THIS WASN'T ME!" I screamed. Luna scowled at me. "WELL TECHNICALLY IT WAS ME, BUT NOT THIS ME!!" I continued. I'm no good while panicking. Luna appeared just confused enough for me to explain. "YOU SEE, I ACCIDENTALLY RELEASED A MIRROR VERSION OF MYSELF, AND HE'S BEEN WREAKING HAVOC EVERYWHERE AND GETTING ME IN TROUBLE FOR IT!!" Luna scowled again.

"Is that not the most convinient mishap we've ever heard!" She scoffed at me. "Thou art obviously lying, and for this unforgivable crime, we shall excecute thee. Immediately!" The aura around me began to tighten even more, making it near impossible to breath. I could fee pressure building up behind my eyes, like the were about to pop out of my skull. I began absorbing Pinkie's magic as fast as I could. I didn't want to go through the pain of absorbing Luna's powers again. As I began to feel the magic sugar rush coming on, I popped right out of Luna's grasp, like when you try and grab wet soap to tightly. My invisibility was still intact, so I took the chance to run away again. I disappeared around a hedge, and reappeared somewhere else in the hedge maze. Even from wherever I was, I could still hear Luna's cry of rage. "NOOO! HE ESCAPED AGAIN!!!" I flinched at her outburst, but I kept up my fleeing.

Dark Sharky was running along at a good pace. He had managed to reach the statue garden when a large wall-like object fell out of the sky and landed in front of him. Dark Sharky was unable to stop himself, and he crashed into the side of the object. He bounced back off of it and fell on his butt. The large wall of pony as it turned out, turned to face him.

"Well, lookee here." Steel Boulder grumbled. He was wearing full armor. "I still owe you a beating from the ring." Dark Sharky laughed.

"Do you really think YOU could stop ME?" He jeered. Steel smirked.

"Here comes the hammer." He stated simply, lifting his massive right foreleg.

"Are you referring to that tiny thing you call a foreleg?" Dark Sharky laughed. At that moment, a huge steel hammer fell out of the sky landing right in front of Steel's hoof. He twisted his head and picked it up with his mouth. "Ah... I see your point... well not really, it's a hammer after all." Dark Sharky looked up. "Where did that come from, anyway?" Steel couldn't respond, but he took advantage of Dark Sharky's confusion and swung the hammer at his legs.

"No no no no no no Princess! You've got it all wrong!" Pinkie yelled at the Night Princess. "That is the real Sharky!"

"Yes, and he hath commited unforgivable crimes!" Luna retorted. Pinkie Pie shook her head at hyper speed.

"That wasn't Sharky! He acidentally made a really mean copy of himself that has been attacking all of my friends! Sharky has been trying to hunt him down and beat him!" Pinkie protested. Luna frowned.

"Can thou prove thine claim? Hath thou knowledge of how he copied himself?" Luna asked. Pinkie Pie frowned.

"No, I don't know spells..." Pinkie mumbled. The she perked up. "But, I do know who can tell you the truth in a way so true that you'll have to believe it!!"

"And whom might that be?" Luna asked.

"Follow me!" Pinkie Pie ordered. Luna wasn't used to taking orders, but she followed Pinkie Pie anyway. Pinkie had seen Fang flying through the air, and she knew where Fang had Fluttershy had landed. Surely Fang could tell Luna!

Dark Sharky saw he oncoming blow, but he couldn't dodge it. Instead, he absorbed Steel's magic and the extra muscle softened the blow. His legs were knocked out from under him, and he hit the ground. His leg would bruise for sure, but it wasn't broken. Steel raised the hammer and tried to bring it down on Dark Sharky's head. Dark Sharky saw the blow coming and rolled to the side. Steel's hammer slammed into the ground next to Dark Sharky's face. Dark Sharky scrambled to his feet. When he managed to stand, he stomped on the hammer handle, forcing it out of Steel's mouth. Steel swung at him with his right foreleg at the same time that Dark Sharky swung at him with his right fist. They're blows smashed together, causing a small shockwave. The both flinched at the blow, but Steel, being a hardened warrior, recovered from the shock first. Steel turned on the spot, and bucked Dark Sharky clear off his hammer.

"OW!" Dark Sharky screamed. Steel lifted his hammer once more, and took flight. Not willing to give Steel a height advantage, Dark Sharky took off as well. As he took flight, he searched for where Steel had taken off. Then he felt a hammer hit his back, disabling his right wing. "GRAGH!" He started spinning towards the ground. Dark Sharky managed to pull up right before making contact with the stone statues in the garden. He hit the dirt and skidded a little, but was unhurt aside from a few scrapes. He knew he was losing this fight. Dark Sharky rolled onto his back, and saw Steel charging at him from the sky. He rolled to the side at the last second, and Steel's hammer struck the dirt. Dark Sharky jumped up and spartan kicked Steel away from his hammer. Dark Sharky then reached over and pulled the hammer from the ground himself. He dashed over to Steel and brought the hammer crashing down on his skull. Steel didn't react, his helment had absorbed most of the blow. Dark Sharky managed to get another swing in, aiming for Steel's unarmored belly. The hammer made contact, lifting Steel clear off the ground with the force.

*CRACK* The sound of Steel's breaking ribs echoed across the garden. Steel fell back to the ground and lay there, coughing up blood. Dark Sharky grinned as he realized he had defeated Steel. To rub in his victory, Dark Sharky continually bashed Steel's unprotected body. He relished the sound of his opponent's ribs breaking, and reviled in Steel's pain. After Dark Sharky had finished having his fun, he tossed the hammer to the side and walked passed the motionless body of Steel. He approached a large stone statue in the center of the garden.

I decided to quit running and see if I could get to my evil self. Maybe if I got there I could make sure my crazy half-baked plan worked... somehow. I sighed. I really didn't have a clue what the buck I was doing. I was in the royal garden with one, maybe two of the most powerful beings in the world hunting me down for crimes I didn't commit, my evil double was most likely becoming a powerful chaos-god as I thought, and almost all of my friends were unconcious or Celestia-knows-where. Except Pinkie Pie, but come on, she was a wild card as far as any thing she'd do to help me. I sighed again. Things looked pretty dang hopeless. I shook my head clear of my dark thoughts, and continued onward towards Discord's statue. Before I got there, I heard a loud smacking noise. I walked over towards the sound, making sure to take cover behind various statues on the way. I got to the source of the noise fairly quickly, and I saw an EXTREMELY muscular pony swing a warhammer at my evil double's head as he lay on the ground. I briefly celebrated, thinking I wouldn't have to chance my risky plan after all, but after watching the fight for a few minutes... I knew I didn't have another choice. I watched myself take the pony's warhammer and repeatedly beat the pony several times. The sight made me sick to my stomach. I retched silently a few times, but I haven't eaten in a while, so I didn't vomit. I became enraged. I watched myself walk away towards Discord's statue, and as soon as evil me was gone, I dashed over to the fallen pony.

"Are you ok?!" I hissed at him quietly. One of his eyes fluttered open.

"Heh, come back to gloat? *Cough cough* Just take your victory and leave." He looked around curiously for a second. "Why are you hiding? Scared of a defeated opponent?"

"No, I'm invisible, and I know I sound like the guy that just beat the tar out of you, but I'm different." I consoled him. "Are you going to be okay?" I repeated. He chuckled.

"I've taken worse beatings than this. You here to fight that... thing too?" He asked.

"Yes, I'm here to kill him actually. What's your name?" I asked him. He coughed.

"Steel, Steel Boulder." Steel replied. "You?"

"I'm Sharky White." Steel's eyes flew open. "The REAL Sharky White. That guy is and evil copy of me. I know it sounds crazy, but you gotta believe me." Steel let his eyes close a little more and slowly nodded.

"I've seen crazier things. I believe you. If you wanted to kill me, you'd have done it already." Steel stated matter-of-factly. "Make that bastard pay." He ordered me. Then his head rolled to the side. He was still breathing, so at least he wasn't dead. I stood up and glared at my retreating form. I walked over to Steel's warhammer and picked it up, then I began following after my clone.

"This is the one that shall convince us of Sharky's innocence?" Luna asked in disbelief. Sitting in front of her was a full-grown wolf that she could have sworn she had thrown out of the castle grounds before.

"Eeyupp!" Pinkie Pie shouted gleefully. Luna gave her a confused gaze.

"And how is the wolf going to tell us of Sharky's innocence?" Luna questioned Pinkie Pie. Pinkie frowned and thought for a second.

"Maybe you could check his memories..." Fluttershy said timidly. She had been with the wolf when Pinkie Pie and Luna had found them.

"If thou thinks it will help..." Luna said hesitantly. Both Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie nodded vigerously. Luna sighed. "Very well..." Her horn lit up, and she touched it to the wolf's head.

Wait a minute... this isn't the smell of my master! Luna saw through Fang's eyes as he bit into Evil Sharky's hand. She felt his pain as he was slammed into the floor and kicked. She felt his happiness and desire to help his real master when he woke up in the closet. She felt the rush of energy as he grew thanks to the efforts of Twilight. She felt his embarrassment when he couldn't run right because of his akwardness with his new limbs. She felt the rush of terror and adrenaline as he charged into the boutique to save his real master. She felt all of these things, and knew Pinkie's claim to be true, but what really mattered is what she learned about Sharky's charecter from the wolf's memories. Through all the emotions and feelings that made up the wolf's mind, only one thought was constant. I am Fang, and I love my master.

"We hath done a terrible deed!" Luna cried as she seperated herself from Fang's mind. "Sharky is clearly too caring to have preformed any of the crimes we accused him of!" She looked to Pinkie Pie. "We thank thou for showing us this. We must now go make amends for our wrong doings!" Her horn glowed, and she located her magic still around Sharky. Once located, she teleported herself, Pinkie Pie, and Fluttershy to the statue garden.

"HEY SHARKY!!!" I yelled at myself. Dark Sharky turned to me, but didn't see anything.

"You're too late!" He laughed at me. Luna, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, and Fang appeared in a flash.

"Sharky! We would like to apologize--"

"No time Princess, my clone is about to absorb the power of Discord!" I warned her. She scowled and turned towards evil me, but she was too late. Dark Sharky focused his void on the powers of Discord. He began to swell in size. He let out an evil chuckle.

"THE POWER! THE ABSOLUTE POWER!" He cheered happily. I began to worry, this wasn't how this was supposed to go! I looked down at the warhammer.

"HEY, CHICKEN!" I yelled, knowing the only insult that would effect him. Sure enough, he turned towards me with hate in his eyes. I reared back and threw the hammer at his face. "IT'S HAMMER TIME!" Dark Sharky was too preoccupied with the void to block the hammer, so it smacked him full in the face. At that point, something went wrong. Dark Sharky grimaced and howled in pain. Beams of light began to shine through him as the magice became to much for his body to handle without his concentration. Soon, he began to lookd like a rainbow disco ball.

"GRAAAAAAGH!!!" He gave one last scream, then his body inflated like a ballon. After a few seconds, his body returned to normal size and the lights faded. "Huh, well that went better than I th--"

*BOOOOOM* Dark Sharky exploded into a mushroom cloud that looked something like... chocolate milk. The explosion also sent out a wave of magic, I don't think it effected much, but I could see it had dispelled my invisibility. I fell to my knees.

"Did I really just say 'It's hammer time?" I asked myself, then my brain came to grips with what had just haappened. "YES! WE WON!!!" I cheered. I turned to Pinkie Pie, Fang, and Fluttershy. I ran over and hugged them. "We did it guys! Evil me is gone!" I was practically singing. They all let out happy sounds and we jumped up and down in celebration. Luna cleared her throat.

"*EHM* Well Sharky, as we were about to say, we apologize for accusing you of those horrid crimes. We should have believed you. We do commend you on your clever defeat of your duplicate however!" She pointed a hoof at the place Dark Sharky had exploded. By now it was starting to pour chocolate rain. When I looked at where she pointed however, I could see that there was something strange there where Dark Sharky had exploded. I looked up at the Princess.

"No Luna, you don't need to be sorry. I understand."

"Well yes, but..." Luna stopped talking. I had begun walking away from her, towards the statue of Discord. Then she noticed that something was laying there too. As I approached the thing on the ground, I heard a noise.

"Wahhh, wah wahhhh!" As I approached the figure, I could tell it was CRYING. Not like grown man crying, but baby crying. I finally got to it, and I was standing over a baby Discord. His unicorn horn was straight, he still had one large fang, his little goat beard wasn't there, his eyes looked normal, and he was freakin' ADORABLE!

"OH MY GOSH HE'S CUTE!" I gushed. I stooped over and scooped him up in my arms. I could feel magic emenating from him. I was worried this was some trick, but I could feel Discord's magic coming from the statue too. The little Discord was giving off the exact same energy, but somehow it felt less... hostile. Luna galloped up behind me. I turned to face her, and she gasped and reared back when she saw what I was holding.

"Sharky! Drop that thing immediately! Thou art in danger!" She whinnied. Her horn began to glow.

"NO, WAIT LUNA!" Luna's horn lost the glow, but she didn't look less panicked. "THIS ONE ISN'T A THREAT!" She gave me a wary stare.

"What art thou talking about?!" She exclaimed. "That is our sworn enemy, Discord!"

"No! He's not! Discord is still in the statue! This little guy is... something else." I thought for a second. This thing obviously WASN'T Discord, but at the same time he was. He wasn't a mirror thing either, the magic wasn't backwards like it had been in evil me. "I... I think... This guy is magic." I started. Luna gave me a skeptic stare, but let me continue. "Let me explain my thoughts... Evil me came from a world with no magic, that means that he could take in the magic of this world and use it to copy magic near him. I think that when the magic molded itself into Discord for him, he died without the magic being let out into the world like it's supposed to be."

"That is a wonderful theory, but how does this mean we should not kill this abomination?"

"I'm getting there! Now, when the magic didn't go back into the world, it continued to mold itself instead. That means that it actually made a new Discord! This one is young and problably has no memories of anything. He's not the same as him!" I said, pointing to Discord's statue. "You can't kill an innocent baby!" Luna faltered at my explanation.

"Then.. Then what doth thou propose we do with it?" She asked. I looked down at him and he smiled at me. I knew what she should do.

"Let me raise him."

Normal HiE fic: Human adopts Scootaloo

My fic: I adopt a baby chaos lord. BOOM! Who saw that coming huh?

My Son

Luna seemed to take a moment to comprehend what I had said. Then she burst out laughing.

"Sorry, for a moment there, we thought you asked to keep him!" She laughed uncontrollably. I started laughing along with her.

"That is funny Princess!" I laughed, then I straightened my face and gave her a determined stare. "You thought I was asking!" I said seriously. Luna faltered and gave me a glare.

"Thou means to tell us that thou art going to raise an Evil Lord of Chaos?" She asked.

"No, I'm gonna raise a kind Lord of Chaos." I countered. She seemed caught off guard by my response.

"Sharky, that thing is evil!" Luna tried to warn me. I shook my head.

"No, it's a baby. I'm not going to let you do anything to him just because HE'S evil!" I nodded towards Disord's statue. "If this baby is raised right, he could protect Equestria instead of corrupt it like his alter!" Luna seemed to think about my statement.

"Hmm... thou hath a point... but if this is the case, we should raise it. We are protectors of this land ourselves!" Luna argued. I snorted at her.

"Yeah, the protector that tried to shroud this world in night eternal!" I countered. Luna flinched at my words. "Besides, you and Celestia are to busy ruling to raise a child." I pointed out. "I'm the only other being with the power necessary to raise him. I'm sure Twilight and Fluttershy could help too..." Luna gave me a curious glance.

"Why doth thou mention those two specifically?" She asked.

"Twilight's got enough magic knowledge to help control him, and Fluttershy is really nuturing. The other girls would all be great friends of his, but I just can't see any of the others being helpful with him." I explained. Luna stared at me.

"Is that the only reason?" Luna asked. I gave her a confused look.

"Yes... Why, should there be another?" I asked. Luna nodded.

"Thou art an idiot." She said simply. I was startled by her statement. "Well Sharky, thou makes an excellent point. Very well, the infant shall accompany you to Ponyville where you shall raise him. Be warned! If this babe doth show signs of becoming evil, we shall expect thee to put it down personally!" She warned. I nodded.

"Understood, Luna." I said. Luna looked away for a moment. Then she looked down at baby Discord, who had fallen asleep in my arms.

"Fare thee well, Discord." She said to the baby.

"Don't call him that!" I shouted. Luna jumped back in suprise.

"Why not? That is his name!"

"No! No it's not! I'll not have him share the name of a mad beast that attempted to destroy the world!" I retorted. Luna thought, then nodded.

"Thou hath a point, since the objective is to change his nature, giving him a new name is a good idea." She mused. "Hath thou any ideas?" I thought for a moment.

"Unity." I said simply. Luna nodded in approval.

"A fitting name for his purpose." She agreed. "We would like for you to stay at our palace for the night, your knighthood is back on tomorrow after all. Also, we should retrieve your damaged friends..."

"OHMYGOSHILEFTTHEMINTHEMAZE!!!" I shouted. Unity wiggled in my arms, but didn't wake. I ran over to Fluttershy. "Could you hold him for me?" I asked her. She nodded and picked him up in her forehooves. She began flying just off the ground and cradling him. I had a brief D'AWWWWWWWW, then ran into the maze. Luna was already on her way in. We quickly located the girls and Stormy, and even though Luna insisted on her ability to carry them all, I picked up Rarity and Twilight. I would've carried more of them, but Luna didn't allow it. We walked back out into the statue garden to get Steel, but he was already gone. We went back to the castle, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Unity, and Fang in tow.

"So, Luna?" I started.

"Why doth thou call me Luna?" She asked. "Most are too afraid to even call me 'princess'! Why do you adress me in such an informal manner?" I flinched.

"Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to insult you, I'll stop..." I mumbled.

"No, we do not wish you to stop calling us Luna, we just wondered why thou were able to speak to us in this manner." She clerified.

"OH! Well Luna, I just have a hard time adressing those I've wrestled with as royalty. It makes me think of you as more... down to earth. I know you're a princess, but I hope you don't mind if I think of you as a friend." I explained.

"B-but... We did terrible things to thou just recently! We tried to execute thou like a common animal!" She stuttered in disbelief.

"Yes, but you thought it was for the good of your people. I could never disrespect or hate you for that." I stated simply. Luna gave me a confused gaze.

"T-thou... Thou doesn't? Everypony here has jumped to hate or fear of us for so much less than what we did to thou! How art thou so ok with it?" She asked skeptically.

"Because good friends can learn to get over mistakes. I learned that from these girls." I answered. Luna looked at the mane six.

"Thou hath only known these mares for a short while, how hath thou already learned a lesson this great?" Luna asked. I froze up.

"Uh... umm... ugh... well... you se--"

"This is alright, we understand." Luna interrupted. I looked at her in horror. She knew? "It can be difficult to discuss emotional moments." She finished. I calmed down.

Whew, for a second there I thought my cover was blown. I thought to myself.

"You're right Luna, thanks for understanding." I lied. I remained silent the entire way back to the castle.

We finally got to the castle and Luna showed me the room where I could put down the girls I had been carrying. It was a two bed room, and I tucked in both Twilight and Rarity. They were the only ones going to bed tonight anyway, the rest were going to the infirmary.

"Would thou like to got to thine room now?" Luna asked. thought for a moment.

"Nah, I'll stay awake in here. Twilight'll freak out if she doesn't know where I am when she wakes up." I said. Luna gave me another stare.

"Does she really care for thou so much?" She asked me.

"Yeah, we're great friends!" I said happily. Luna shook her head.

"Thou art truly the most intelligent simpleton we've ever met." She said as she began trotting away with the rest of my friends.

"Ummm... Thank you?!" I shouted after her confusedly. Fluttershy, Unity, Pinkie Pie, and Fang were all still with me. I looked down to Fluttershy, still hovering and cradling Unity like she had been the whole way here. Then I looked at Fang, the most loyal companion a man could ask for, sitting by my side as always. Then I looked at Pinkie Pie, who was well... Pinkie Pie. Enough said. "You guys should follow her to your rooms." I told Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy. I reached out to take Unity.

"Okie dokie lokie!" Pinkie Pie said happily. She bounced off in pursuit of Luna. Fluttershy didn't look like she wanted to hoof Unity over, but she did.

"No thanks... I'd rather stay with you. If that's ok..." Fluttershy mumbled. I smiled gently at her.

"Of course it's ok Fluttershy." I soothed. I walked over to a corner of the room and sat down against a wall, cradling Unity the whole way. Fluttershy trotted over to my side. She curled up next to me, her warmth on my side making me a bit drowsy. I fell asleep soon.

"H-hey.... S-s-sharky...?" Fluttershy asked timidly. She had just remembered his promise to her. His only response was a snore. "Dang it..."

I woke up and yawned. Darn, I had wanted to stay awake. I stretched my legs, and looked down at the little bundle in my arms. I saw Unity staring right back at me. He was giggling and he tried to swat my nose with his lion paw.

"D'AWWWW!" I muttered to him. He giggled harder. I looked to my side to see that Fluttershy was still curled up next to me, sound asleep. Then I looked around. I was floating in the middle of the room. "WAGHH!!" I gasped. Unity was upset by my cry, and began to tear up. "Oh, nononono don't cry..." I soothed. He whimpered a little, but didn't break out into wails. Luckily all the girls were still asleep. I noticed that Twilight and Rarity were still in their beds. Only Fluttershy, Unity, and I were floating. I looke around us to see if I could figure out who was lifting us, but nopony else was in the room. I looked down at Unity. "Did you do this?" I asked him. He gave me a blank stare. "Right, baby. Can't talk." I reminded myself. Crud, I hadn't realized he would be causing me trouble already! Luckily, Fang hadn't curled up next to us last night, so he was still on the ground. "Fang... FANG!" I hissed at him. He shook himself awake and started stretching. "Up here boy!" I hissed. He turned his head, and his eyes widened when he saw me. I stretched my leg out so it would be as close to the ground as I could get. "Grab my leg boy!" Fang didn't look less confused, but he walked over and jumped for my leg like I asked. He jumped up and bit down on my leg, not hard, just enough for a good grip. I gritted my teeth and let out a small hiss, but I didn't yell out. We began to decend to th ground. We all landed, and I gave Fang a good petting. "Good boy!" I cheered to him. He thumped his tail on the ground. Then Twilight woke up.

"Hmm? Mmmmm...." She moaned as she stretched awake. "W-wha... Why am I in the castle? I could've sworn I was in the gardens looking for..." Her pupils shrank and she started freaking out. "OH NO, WHERE'S EVIL SHARKY?!"

"Twilight! Calm down!" I urged her. She was upsetting Unity. "Evil me is dead, everything is ok now." She glared at me.

"If you're the real Sharky... What was the password to the hospital?" She asked cautiously.

"There was no password." I answered. She smiled.

"Whew, good. I was worried you wer-- OH MY CELESTIA IT'S DISCORD!!!" Twilight screeched. Her aura wrapped around Unity and tried to pull him out of my hands. Unity was scared, and he started crying. Seeing him cry hurt enough, but along with crying, each wail he let out was like getting hit by some sort of sound cannon! My ears felt like they were exploding! I grunted through my pain. Luckily, the sound attack made Twilight lose her focus, and Unity dropped back into my arms. I 'shhh'ed him and rubbed his head between his horn stubs until the wailing finally stopped. I held my eyes shut tight the entire time from pain, and I didn't open them until the ringing in my ears subsided. I opened my eye, and all the girls had woken up if they had been asleep, and were crouched down holding both hooves over their ears.

"DON'T. DO. THAT. AGAIN." I said sternly to Twilight. She weakly nodded her head. All the girls pulled their hooves away from their ears. "Now, before anypony else upsets my new son, let me explain the situation." Twilight and Rarity gave me looks of open shock, but didn't speak. "This little guy here," I held up Unity for them to see. "Is Unity. He is a young copy of Discord that came into being when my clone failed to hold in Discord's magic. He is not evil, and has no memories. I'm going to raise him to be good. Understand?" They just continued giving me the look of open shock. I sighed. "YOU. DON'T. HURT. HIM." I stated slowly and forcefully so they'd get the message. Twilight shook away her confusion.

"Did you say SON!?!?!" Obviously her brain was a few minutes slow right now. I sighed. Clearly this was going to take longer to explain than I thought.

"Ok, now that I've re-explained this 50 TIMES, do you think you understand now?" I asked Twilight and Rarity. Then RD, Stormy, and Applejack trotted into the room.

"Hey guys, we heard what happened to evil Shark-- OH MY CELESTIA IT'S DISCORD!" Rainbow Dash yelled. Then the crying started again. I sighed through my pain.

It's gonna be a LONNNNNNNNG day... I thought to myself.

Chaos Powers

The wailing finally stopped after about 3 minutes of cooing to Unity. He was curled up in my arms, looking up at me with tears still in his eyes. He sniffled a little. Celestia he was adorable, how does something that was once this innocent turn into Discord? I hope I never find out. I looked up at RD and AJ.

"Firstly, this is NOT DISCORD." I started. "This is... well, you won't care about the explanation for it, but long story short, this is a baby version of Discord. I've adopted him and named him Unity." I summarized. RD and AJ's jaws dropped. "AUGH dangit!" I groaned. "More blown pony brains!" I didn't have the patience to explain this 50 more times. "Fluttershy, would you mind explaining this to them?" I asked.

"Oh, I don't mind." She trotted over to RD and AJ. I looked to Twilight.

"Do you know where the kitchen is? I think Unity'll be hungry soon, and I'd rather feed him now and avoid the crying later." I asked. Twilight flinched.

"Good idea, follow me." She hopped off her bed and trotted past RD, AJ, and Fluttershy. I stood and followed her. I looked down at my side, expecting to see Fang, but he wasn't there.

"Hold on for a second Twilight." called to her. She stopped trotting and turned to me.

"Is something wrong?"

"Nah, I just gotta find Fang real quick." I answered.

"Oh... ok..." She muttered. I turned and walked back to the room.

Stupid wolf is already top priority for him. Even THIS early in the morning... She thought ruefully.

I walked back into the room, and found Fang lying next to where I had been sitting before. I walked over to him. I saw that he was twitching like crazy, and both of his forepaws were over his head.

"Fang!? Are you alright?!" I shouted. He lifted a forepaw and looked at me. He nodded weakly. "Liar... " I sighed. "Those sonic cries must have hurt you the worst, didn't they?" He didn't move his head. "Crap, I didn't even think about that... Stay here ok buddy? As a matter of fact, just stay away from Unity until we can find a way to make his crying easier on you, ok?" He looked really hurt by my words, but he nodded and nuzzled my leg. "Ok buddy, good boy." I cooed to him. I turned to leave, but I could see him go back to shaking in pain from the corner of my eye. I sighed. I walked back out of the room and nodded to Twilight. We started walking off again.

Damn, this is getting difficult. I've now got a wolf, a baby chaos lord, and myself to take care of, and so far I've doing a bad job at that last one alone. Not to mention I've got a job as a monster hunter now, which could pull me away for unknown amounts of time. I could even not come back at all... I stopped walking at that though. A chill wrapped around my body. Twilight noticed I had stopped.

"Sharky? Are you ok?" She asked. I was shaking pretty hard. Unity didn't seem to mind.

"Y-yeah... I'm just... cold." I lied. "I am only wearing a cloth after all, and I don't have a coat like you."

"Oh... I'm sorry, I wish I could help, but I can't make clothes..." She murmered sadly. I was about to console her, when Unity started giggling. I looked down at him, and he smiled up at me. My shaking stopped and I smiled back.

No, I'll always come back. I thought to myself. I need to. I straightened back up and nodded to Twilight to continue. She was hesitant, but she turned and continued leading towards the kitchen anyway. We eventually got there, and it was really empty. I walked over to a few cabinets to look for bottles. Suprisingly, I found a bunch. They were REALLY dusty, and had either a sun or moon on them. I smiled to myself as I realized who they had been for. Hope they don't mind me using one of these. I thought to myself as I pulled out a sun bottle. I walked over to an EXTREMELY large double-doored fridge. I easily located some milk. I washed out the sun bottle and filled it up for Unity. I looked around, but even though they had fridges and stoves, I didn't see a microwave.

"Twilight, you wouldn't happen to know any kind of heat spell would you?" I asked. I guess Twilight had been thinking, because she seemed like she had just snapped back to reality when I adressed her.

"Hmm? Uhh sure... Hey Sharky, how do you plan on taking care of Unity while you're gone monster hunting?" She asked. Her horn started glowing. "What was I warming up?"

"This bottle." I touched the bottle to her horn, and I could feel it get warmer in my hand. I pulled the bottle away from her after a few seconds, and squeezed a little of the milk out of the bottle and onto my finger. The milk was warm, but not so hot as to burn Unity, so I popped the nipple into his mouth. (Nipple as in the rubber top of the bottle. Pervs.) I looked back to Twilight. "Actually... I'd kinda hoped you'd help me take care of him, Twilight..." Twilight looked up at me and cut off the magic.

"Really?! You want me to help raise Unity?!" She asked excitedly. I stepped back in suprise. I hadn't expected her to react so positively. Right then, a stream of milk hit me in the face. I blinked in suprise, then blocked the flow with my hand. I looked down, and Unity was spitting milk. I looked at the bottle, and only about 1/20th of it was missing. Somehow, the stream of milk kept coming for about 5 minutes! I moved my hand to see if he had finished spitting, and another stream hit me on full on the face. The second stream only lasted about 5 seconds though. I looked down at Unity again, and he was giving me an angry look.

"What, don't like milk?" I asked him laughingly. He continued to stare. "Fine, fine." I thought for a moment about what to get him, but then I had an idea. I searched a few more cabinets, and I actually found some powdered chocolate. I mixed it up with some milk, and had Twilight warm it up. I gave it to Unity again, and turned back to Twilight. "Yes, I would love for you to help me raise Unity." I answered.

"Sooo... that would make me kind of like his... Mom?" She asked. I thought for a moment.

"Well, kinda I guess..." I answered.

"So if I'm his mom and you're his dad..." She started. Unity started kicking.

"Whoa, hold that thought Twilight." I interrupted. I looked down at Unity, and the bottle was gone. The chocolate milk was still floating in midair. "So wait, you drink the bottle, but you still made me change the milk?" I asked him. He didn't answer of course. He did start kicking harder though. I sighed. "Twilight, could you get me a little towel?" I asked. She looked a little mad about being interrupted, but she got me a towel. I placed it on my shoulder, and placed Unity on it so his stomach was on the towel. I started patting his back. Twilight looked at me with confusion.

"What are you doing?" She asked.

"Burping him." I answered simply. Twilight tilted her head at me.

"What are you talking about?" She asked. Then Unity spit up. A little rubber bottle nipple bounced off the little towel and onto the floor. I threw up my hands.

"Of course he spit up something impossible!" I shouted. I unbalanced Unity when I threw up my arms, and I quickly grabbed him before he fell off my shoulder. Twilight seemed to be in awe.

"Sharky, how do you know so much about babies?" She asked in amazement. I blushed.

"It's nothing really... I just babysat a lot when I was young." I answered bashfully. "It's no big deal..."

"No big deal..." She muttered. "Wow..." I looked at her with confusion. She was looking at me in a really funny way.

"What's that look for?" I asked. She started moving towards me.

"You cook, you risk your own life to protect your friends, you can keep up with me when it comes to science, and now you're good with kids TOO?" She said in a wierd whisper.

"Ummm... yes?" She was still moving towards me, and I started backing up. "What are you doing?" I asked.

"Say, Unity must be getting tired, why don't you put him down for a nap?" She asked.

"H-he j-just w-w-woke up..." I answered. I kept backing up, but Twilight was still adavancing. "Ummm..." I hit the wall behind me. Unity started hiccuping. "Twilight why are you WAAAAAAAGGGHHHH!!!" I phased through the back wall. Which just happened to be 50 feet off the ground. I scrambled and started kicking my legs. "WAAAAAAAGGGHHHHH!!!" Then I realized I wasn't falling. "WAAAAaaaaaaghhhh..... Umm... what?" I looked down at Unity, and he was still hiccuping. "A-are you doing this?" I asked. He hiccuped again. I started falling. Not fast, just falling. I rubbed my temple with my free hand. "Just... why?" I mumbled to myself. This wasn't helping my headache from the sonic wailing earlier. We settled down on the ground and Unity's hiccups ceased. I sighed in relief. "No more wierdness please?" I asked him. He giggled. I sighed and started walking around. I was in the garden again, I guess it extends a long way or something. I walked around for awhile, taking in the scenery and wondering about Twilight's behavior. After exploring for a little while, I ran into Luna.

"Princess?! What are you doing out here at midday?" I asked in suprise. She smiled at me.

"We just enjoy the scenery of the gardens." She answered.

"B-but, don't you need to sleep during the day?" I asked. She laughed.

"We never need to sleep." She explained.

"Oh... thats... convinient."

"Yes, yes it is. Wouldst thou like to sit with us?" She asked. I nodded. I walked over to her and sat down. We were silent for a long time, just sitting and looking at the garden. It WAS really pretty when you weren't trying to not be killed by an evil copy of yourself. Yeah, running and fighting for your life doesn't really allow you to appreciate a garden. "So, art thou ready for thine knighting tonight?" She broke the silence.

"Yeah, I guess I am..." I answered. She looked down at me.

"Why doth thou sound so reluctant?" She asked.

"Well... It's just... now I've got a kid. I'm worried about not coming back..." I answered. Luna nodded.

"We understand. Thou could always quit if thou wished." She offered. I thought about it.

"No, if I do this, I could save the lives of hundreds of ponies. That's more important than my life could ever be." I mused. "Also, somepony really needs to teach you to talk normal."

"That is a honorable way of viewing this." She agreed. "Thou art also correct in saying we should learn to speak correctly. Whenever we try to get somepony to assist us in this endeavor, they run away upon meeting us..." She said with sorrow.

"I could teach you!" I offered happily. She smiled at me.

"That would be greatly appreciated."

Luna and I practiced for several hours in the garden. She didn't make any real progress, she WAS trying to break a thousand years worth of speaking like that though. Even though it was almost night when we finished, Unity was suprisingly quiet the whole time. Eventually I had to leave to feed Unity again though. Luna escorted me back to the kitchen, which was now bustling with cooks. I made my way through the crowd, and managed to prepare another bottle for Unity. Luna warmed it up for me this time, and this time Unity drank the milk. I sighed in relief, and grabbed the empty bottle, but it folded around my hand like plastic wrap. I groaned. I flapped my hand around, but the bottle wouldn't come off.

"Fan tucking fastic." I mumbled to myself. Luna laughed and escorted me to another room. It was a really small room, and there was a crib in it. The room was really dark blue and covered in little white dots.

"This was our room as an infant." She explained. "Unity can stay here for the night."

"Thanks Luna." I placed Unity in the crib, and prayed he didn't do anything strange again. I didn't need to worry though, he fell asleep almost instantly. I sighed with relief, and left the room.

"Ok, tis time for your knighthood now." Luna said. "Now is thine last chance to withdraw from this." She warned.

"No, I need to do this." I answered. She nodded and turned to leave. I followed after her, sneaking one last look at Unity's door.

Knighthood

I followed Luna out into a really big yard. There was a huge ring in the middle of it, and there were tons of weapons all neatly arranged in little racks along the outside of the yard area.

"Please wait just outside this area, we need to make a few last preparations before knighting you." Luna ordered. I nodded and walked back down the hall we had just come from. I stood around and waited for a while, when Fluttershy appeared out of nowhere.

"Oh! H-hi Sharky..." She muttered.

"Hi Fluttershy!" I grinned at her. It always made me happy to see her. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh... I was looking... for you..." She muttered.

"Why were you looking for me?"

"Oh... Twilight told us you fell out of a wall... none of us had seen you since then... I was worried." She murmered sadly. I kneeled down next to her.

"Oh, I'm sorry for worrying you guys!" I reached out and pulled her into a hug. "I need to stop making you girls worry about me..." I sighed. She wrapped her forehooves around me. Then she started talking, but she still sounded really sad.

"So... I heard that you... asked Twilight.... to help you raise Unity... does this mea--"

"Yes! I did ask her that!" I interrupted. "Which reminds me, I'd like you to help me raise him too." I said simply.

"REALLY?!?" Fluttershy squealed in excitement and gripped me tighter. Geez, I hadn't thought these girls would be so happy to help.

"Really, Twilight may have the magic to help keep him under control, but your kindness is exactly what he needs." I explained. "So, as Twilight put it, you'll kinda be like his mom!"

"Yay!" (She said it! SQUEEEEEE it will never get old.)

"Wow, I can't believe you girls are so happy about this!" I exclaimed.

"Why wouldn't we be? This is simply wonderful!" She gushed. Then she got really quiet again. "Oh... I don't know how you're gonna explain this to Twilight...." She mumbled. She sounded... scared?

"Why would that be a problem?" I asked. She pulled away from the hug and looked me in the eyes.

"Y-you really don't know what that meant to her... do you?" She asked. I frowned.

"What do you mean?"

"Nothing..." She sighed. Then she remembered something. "Hey Sharky?"

"Yes?"

"Do you remember your promise?"

"Hmm? To take good care of Fang? Yeah, I try to keep him out of danger, but he doesn't listen..." I sighed. "Just like you girls actually."

"I... I don't think I even made you promise that..." She answered.

"You didn't? Hmm... I must have imagined it..."

"I-I w-was talking about your... other p-promise." She was starting to sound really nervous.

"What other promise?"

"T-t-the p-promise f-f-f-from N-new Year's...." She was stuttering so hard it took me a few seconds to make out what she had said. I started laughing.

"HA HA HA HA HA! I can't believe you even remembered that! Don't worry Fluttershy, I know you were drunk off your flank. You don't need to worry about what you said." I consoled her. She must be regretting her drunk words.

"N-no S-sharky, t-tha--"

"Sharky White! Please procced to the Sparring Yard for your knighting!" I looked up to see a lunar guard standing down the hall.

"OK sir! I'll be right there!" I shouted at him. He nodded and trotted out into the yard. I looked back down to Fluttershy. "Hold that thought, I gotta go." I stood up and placed her on the ground. Then I dashed towards the yard.

"--t's... not what I meant..." Fluttershy finished. She sighed.

Someday he won't have time to run off somewhere... She thought to herself.

I stepped out into the yard, which had changed drastically since I had last come here. Now there were two HUGE lines of lunar guards lined up all the way to the back of the field. Each of them was in full armor and they each had a lance. At the back of the field, sitting in a throne as black as night, was Luna. She was dressed in Nightmare Moon's ceremonial armor, but she didn't look menacing at all. She waved me forward with her right foreleg.

"Sharky White, come forward." She commanded. I did as I was told, and started walking towards Luna. As I approached the first pair of guards, they raised their lances to form an arch that was just tall enough for me to walk under. Each pair of guards repeated the process as I approached them. It made me feel like I was in a wave. The movements were perfectly synchronized, it obviously took a lot of practice to get this right. I was touched that Luna had gone all this way for me, but then I realized she problably did this for every new knight. I kept walking throught the sea of rising lances until I finally made it to the end of the yard where Luna awaited me. I exited the lance tunnel, and behind me every lance snapped back to the ground with a resounding thud.

"Cool..." I breathed. Luna spoke to me again.

"Approach me and kneel, Sharky." She commanded. I walked forward and bent down onto one knee. I looked up at the princess the whole time. "We shall now have thee make the sacred pledges." She started. "Doth thou swear to protect the citizens of Equestria with thine life?" She asked.

"I do." I answered.

I made that promise to myself awhile ago actually. I thought to myself. As I said 'I do', A dark blue aura wrapped itself around me. It stayed for a few seconds, then dispersed.

"Doth thou swear to stand by your princess, even in the most dire of times?"

"I do." The aura wrapped itself around me again. More powerful this time. It dispersed again though.

"Doth thou swear to always conduct thyself with honor?"

"I do." The aura came for a third time, to dark to even see through. It dispersed nontheless.

"And finally, thou must swear to abide by the commands of your princess." She finished.

"I do." I answered. This time the air rushed around me, and an aura black as tar wrapped itself around me, lifting me clear off the ground. I was held there for a while, not even daring to breath. I hit the ground after a few moments, and I gasped for air. Luna didn't seem effected by my reaction.

"Then we doth declare you... Night Knight White!" She declared. I had to stifle a laugh. She bent her head down and tapped both my shoulders with her horn. Then the guards started chanting.

"Knight White! Ho haha!" They shouted. I froze for a second.

Now where did I hear that before? I questioned to myself.

"Welcome brother White!" Luna continued.

"Knight White! Ho haha!" The guards repeated.

Yeah, I've definately heard that somewhere before I thought.

"Guards, thou may take thine leave now!" Luna shouted. I stood to leave, but Luna caught my shoulder with her hoof. "We did not say 'knights' Sharky. We wish to speak with thou."

"Uh... ok Luna..." I wanted to get back to my friends so we could go back home, but the princess comes first I guess.

"Follow me." She ordered. I did as commanded and when she started trotting off, I followed her. We walked down another impossible number of halls and rooms, until eventually we reached her bedchambers.

"Ummm.... Luna?" I asked hesitantly.

"We don't normally do this, but we wish to make amends for our earlier treatment of you." She responded.

"Ok." Luna pushed open her doors.

"Come with us!" She said happily. I was feeling really hesitant about whatever was going to happen, but my body followed after her without my command.

"Yes Luna." Luna ignored me. She continued talking. We stepped onto the moon.

"Now, we understand thou hath been wanting this for awhile now..." She started trotting towards her bed.

"Wanting what Luna?" I asked suspiciously.

"Don't jest with us..." She giggled. She made it to her bed and jumped on. "Now come here..." She commanded. All sorts of warnings were going off in my head. I've no idea what they meant, and I was trying to figure it out, but my body obeyed her commands. I walked over to her bed. She looked down at me and lowered her eyelids. "Now, it is time for us to give you what you want..." She whispered. I started shaking in fear. Then she pulled a small gift wrapped box from under one of her pillows and hoofed it to me. "SUPRISE!!!" She squealed. "Go on, open it!"

"OH THANK GOD!" I exclaimed. I have no idea what I thought was going to happen, but I'm sure glad whatever it was didn't happen. She gave me a funny look, but I was too busy inspecting the box to care. It was a decent sized box, and it was wrapped in gray paper with a white ribbon around it. I smiled up at her and started attacking the wrapping with gusto. I revealed a brown box with a lid on it. I opened the lid. "OH MY GOSH.... THANK YOU LUNA!!!!" I exclaimed. I pulled the first item out of the box, and it was a pair of royal blue pants! They seemed to be armored. Inside the box there were also 2 more pairs of pants, and some metal boots! Also.... YES! BOXERS!!! Oh, and socks... socks.

"We heard from thine friends that thou needed clothing. We scanned you in the garden today and had a royal tailor fashion armored clothing for you to wear while working for us." She said happily. "Doth thou forgive us for our mistreatment of thou?" She asked tenatively.

"Forgive you!? I did that a long time ago! This is... just amazing Luna! Thank you!!!" I jumped up onto the bed and hugged her. She gave a small gasp of suprise, but then she wrapped a foreleg around me as well.

"It was our pleasure Sharky." We pulled away from each other.

"Geez, I can't tell you how much not having to run around in a cloth means to me..." I said happily. She smiled at me.

"We still have one more thing to give you." She said.

"Oh no Luna, I couldn't accept another gift! This is too much already."

"Well, then don't think of it as a gift. We just need you to have this so we may contact you." She said. She levitated a small hand mirror to me. "This mirror will allow us to contact you for mission assignments." She clearified. "It will change to fit it's bearers needs, so don't be startled." She warned. I nodded and reached up to grab the mirror. As soon as it made contact with my hand, it turned into an iPhone.

"What the?!" I exclaimed. Luna laughed.

"We warned you."

"That you did Luna. So, wierd iPhone aside, where can I get dressed?" I asked. She gave me an odd look.

"Thou needs to leave to dress?" She asked. I blushed.

"Yes! Yes I do! I understand you guys are ok with nudity, but humans aren't!" She nodded in understanding.

"Very well... there is a washroom over there." She pointed at another door randomly sitting on the moon. This is too freaking wierd. I jogged over to the little door and walked in. It looked like every other bathroom I'd encountered so far. Nothing fancy or ornate. I took the oppritunity to relieve myself and got dressed right after that. I put on a pair of boxers, then some pants. The pants fit like a glove, but when I pulled on them they stretched out. I was glad I wouldn't have to worry about ripping these off with a transformation. I put on a pair of socks and pulled on the boots. The boots would need a little breaking in, but the socks were so thick and soft that the boots didn't actually hurt at all. I walked them around a bit, and they were oddly silent for metal boots. I walked back out of the bathroom, finally somewhat clothed. I tied the cloth around my neck, so part of my upper body was covered as well. Just my back though. I popped the wierd iPhone into my pocket.

"Thanks again Luna! These are prefect!" I said happily. "Well, I'm gonna go grab my friends and start heading back to Ponyville."

"Not quite... We've got your first mission already Sharky."

The Hunt Begins

"A HUNTING MISSION ALREADY?!" I exclaimed. Luna flinched.

"Yes, we apologize... A pack of timber wolves has been ravaging Appleloosa. All of our other monster hunter knights are busy on other missions, otherwise we wouldn't ask you so soon after your battle with... yourself." She said suprisingly humbly. It was then that my body decided to remind me that I had recieved some severe burns from evil me's magic blasts.

"Ah crap..." I grabbed my chest and fell to one knee. Well, this is unfortunate... but I've gotta go help.

"Sharky?! Art thou alright?!" Luna yelled. I stood back up. If I was the only one able to help, I had to be strong.

"Yeah, I just got some bad burns from my fight. I'll be fine though. So, point me to the Timber Wolves." I said. Luna frowned at me.

"Sharky, thou art injured. Thou should stay and heal."

"No princess, every second I'm not heading to Appleloosa, somepony could be dying!" I exclaimed. "I have to go!"

"If... If thou insists..."

"I do... After I say goodbye to my friends and Unity of course..." Luna nodded.

"Yes, of course." She agreed. "Let me escort you to their chambers."

"Thank you." She leapt off the bed and started walking towards the exit door. I followed after her through another series of hallways and random rooms.

I really should start memorizing these paths... I thought to myself. Luna stopped at a familiar door.

"If memory serves, this is where you placed Rarity and Twilight." Ah, that's why it's familiar. I knocked. There was no answer. I knocked harder, and waited again. For a few more minutes, I still didn't get an answer. I slowly opened the door. The lights were off, and I heard whispering. All of the sudden, I knew what was happening and I quickly closed the door.

"Okay Luna, nevermind. Let's go. NOW." I said with a strained voice. I started walking away as quickly as I could.

"What? What about thine friends?!" She asked.

"They were in the room. LETS GO!"

"Why art thou running away?!"

"BECAUSE I REALLY HATE PARTIES. TAKE ME TO UNITY AND HELP ME LEAVE BEFORE THE PINK ONE FINDS ME!!!" I shouted in terror. Luna nodded in understanding. We started running down the halls Luna led me back to the room Unity was sleeping in. I opened the door, and the room was in negative color. Of f***ing course it was. I ran over to Unity and hugged him in his sleep. "See you soon buddy..." I muttered to him. He smiled in his sleep. I smiled back and walked back over to Luna.

"Ohhh Sharky!?! Where are you!?!" Pinkie yelled from the hall.

"OH GOD TELEPORT ME NOW!!!" I yelled.

"I HEARD HIM GUYS! HE'S OVER HEEEEEEEREEEE!!!" Pinkie yelled. Luna's horn glowed and I disappeared in a flash of black light. As soon as I was gone, the mane six burst into the room carrying all sorts of streamers, hats, noisemakers, and a cake.

"Oh hi Luna, have you seen Sharky? Pinkie said he ran in here." Twilight asked.

"Oh, sorry girls, he just left on a mission." Their mouths dropped open.

"H-he's already g-gone to hunt monsters?" Fluttershy asked. Luna nodded slowly.

"H-he didn't even bother to say goodbye..." Twilight said with tears in her eyes.

"Uhh... No, we told him to leave immediately. We barely let him say goodbye to Unity. We apologize." Luna lied.

"Ok... if you say so... So, what is he hunting?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"A pack of Timber Wolves that have been attacking Appleloosa. He accepted immediately." Luna explained.

"That's cool of him..." Rainbow Dash sniffled. Then Rarity had a thought.

"Umm... How many wolves are we talking dear?" Rarity asked. Luna hesitated all of the sudden.

"No number of consequence..." Luna mumbled.

"Princess, how many?" Twilight asked firmly. Luna sighed.

"The last report from the previous hunter said 59..." She admitted. The girls' jaws dropped.

"Ahm' sorry, did ya just say 'previous hunter'?" Applejack asked.

I opened my eyes, and I had appeared on the train platform in Appleloosa. I sighed in relief.

Whew... dodged a bullet on that one... I thought to myself. Then I felt really guilty. Ah crap! I didn't even say goodbye! I'm freakin' terrible. I lamented. I smacked myself a few times for my stupidity. Then I sighed and walked into the town. I remembered everypony would most likely freak out when they saw me, so I started ducking into cover and moving as silently as possible. Then I spotted a pony sitting on a corner. He looked out of place because one, he was outside in the middle of the night. Two, he looked like a city pony. He wasn't wearing a hat, and he just didn't look like he was country. I can't really explain it. He was a Pegasus colt with shaded gray coat, brown eyes, and a black and ice blue mane. He had a black heart with a white dove filling the inside of it as a cutie mark. He looked really sad. I snuck around some more until I was near enough for him to hear me.

"Hey! Hey you!" I hissed. He jumped up and looked around.

"W-who's there!?" He shouted. "Why can't you just leave me alone?!"

"Easy, easy friend. I'm here to help. What's got you so upset?" I asked. He narrowed his eyes.

"If you're here to help, come out and show yourself!" He challenged.

"I... I don't think that's a good idea..." I sighed.

"Then how can I trust you?!"

"Fine, fine, fine. You have a point... Just... promise me you won't freak out?" I pleaded. He looked more suspicious.

"Fine, I promise..." He said. I sighed and removed myself from the bush I'd been hiding behind. The pegasus gasped and fell back.

"No no! Don't freak out, don't freak out! I'm a good guy ok?" I soothed. He managed to stand back up, but he still looked terrified. "Look, I was sent by Princess Luna to help you guys with your Timber Wolf problem." I tried. Luckily Luna had inculded her royal seal in the design of my armored pants, one on each hip like a cutie mark, so I pointed to them to prove I worked for Luna. His eyes lit up.

"She sent a giant to get rid of those horrible wolves?!" He hissed excitedly. He seemed pretty angry, which didn't seem to fit him somehow. Like when a kid that's sad all the time starts acting really happy. It was really wierd.

"Whoa, why are you so hyped up?" I asked. He gave me a hard stare.

"Because those wolves need to go down!" He hissed. I'd never seen anger like this from a pony!

"Why are you so upset with them?" I asked. He calmed down instantly. He looked down and his mane covered his face.

"Oh... I'm sorry, I didn't mean to react like that... It's just... Those wolves... killed my brother..." He looked up at me and there were tears running down his face.

"That's terrible!" I exclaimed. "How did it happen? You don't look like you're from here. What were you and your brother doing here anyway?" He sniffled and wiped his eyes with his hooves.

"We came here a few weeks ago, we were trying to offer our services to the people of Appleloosa, but they weren't really accepting us." He started.

"Ok, what are your services?"

"My brother and I made our own sort of magic elixer. It keeps trees healthy and alive, even during the winter! We offer it to any farmer we cross, but so far ponies only treat us like it's a hoax..."

"Oh... I'm sorry... If it helps... I believe you." I offered. He sniffled.

"Really?" He asked. I laughed.

"Yea, really. I've seen stranger things happen. Anyway, how did your brother get attacked?" I asked.

"Well... I had been making progress in a deal with this one fellow named Braeburn, I think he was almost ready to give our elixer a try, but then these blasted wolves started showing up! The townsfolk blamed their apperance on my brother and I... I wanted to stay, but my brother convinced me that these people would never accept us now... We set out to leave just last night, but we were jumped by those wolves... My brother held them off so that I could escape... I haven't seen him since..." He was crying again as he finished his tale. I sat down next to him and draped an arm over his shoulders.

"Wow... I'm so sorry..." I offered. He only sobbed harder. It made me angry to see him so hurt. "I'm gonna get those wolves ok? I'm gonna avenge your brother!" I shouted angrily. I have a bad habit of working myself into a rage, and this was one of those times. "POINT ME IN THE DIRECTION OF THOSE DAMN WOLVES! THEY ARE GOING TO PAY!!!" I raged. The pegasus stopped sobbing and sat up straight.

"I-if you're going a-after them... I want to help." He said firmly. He had a no argument tone, so I knew I didn't really have much of a choice.

"Are you sure? You don't seem like much of a fighter..." I tried to dissuade him, but he didn't lose his determination.

"I don't care! I want to help! At the very least, I can heal you. I'm really good with herbs and stuff." He offered. I sighed.

"You aren't going to take no for an answer, are you?" I asked. He shook his head determinedly. "Fine, fine. What's your name?"

"Shadow Breeze, and you are?"

"About to kick some timber wolf ass." I answered. "And for the non-sarcastic answer, my name is Sharky White. Now point me to the wolves." I hissed. He gave me a worried look.

"Shouldn't you get a weapon first?" Shadow asked. I looked down at myself and realized my only weapons were my hands.

"Good idea..." I responded. "Where can I find a blacksmith?" I asked. He pointed at a rather large building in the corner of the town. He walked straight towards it, but I continued my sneaking thing.

"What are you doing?" He asked.

"I don't want anypony to see me if I can avoid it. They tend to not react well."

"Good point." He nodded. We continued in silence until we reached th blacksmith's place. Suprisingly, he was still open. We entered.

"Welcome, welcome!" A large stallion said from behind a counter. He was tan with a black mane, and he had a flaming hammer for a cutie mark. "What can I do for y-- WHOAAA!" He whinnied. He'd seen me.

"No, no! Calm down! I don't want to hurt anypony! I just need to buy a weapon!" I explained.

"Why, so you can kill me quicker?!" He shreiked.

"NO! I WAS SENT BY LUNA TO KILL THE WOLVES DAMMIT!" I pointed to the mark on my hips. He calmed down.

"Oh... Good... Sorry 'bout that. You're just... well I'm sure you know."

"I do." I agreed. "Now, about that weapon..."

"Oh, it'll be no problem! Since you're getting rid of the wolves, I won't even charge you!" He offered. "Now, whaddya want?"

"Oh... an ax would be best, but you don't have to do it for f--" He was gone the moment I said 'ax'. I sighed. Well, I didn't expect free stuff to come with the job. To be honest, I don't really like free things. I know I'm wierd. After only a few seconds, I heard banging coming from the back of the building. I turned to Shadow. "Well, that went better than usual..."

"Sharky, what's it like where you live?" He asked. His random question caught me off guard a little, but I answered nonetheless.

"Well, Ponyville is a really cool place..." I started.

"Oh! You're from Ponyville?! That was my next stop! What's it like there?" He asked. I smiled and dove into the details of Ponyville. I told him about all of my friends and all the places to go in Ponyville. He seemed especially interested in the farm, but he had a lot of questions about it that I couldn't answer. It was the place I spent the least time at after all. Eventually the banging in the other room stopped, and the blacksmith trotted back in balancing a fairly large double-headed ax. He trotted over to me.

"Here ya go!" He exclaimed. I lifted the ax off his back. It was suprisingly light, and I could lift and carry it with relative ease.

"Thank you sir!" I nodded at him. He grinned back and trotted off. "You ready to go Shadow?"

"As I'll ever be."

"Don't you need a weapon too?" I asked.

"Nah, I'm just healing you. I should be fine." He answered.

"Alright." I grunted. "Let's go!"

Jumped

"Dear Celestia!!!" Twilight exclaimed angrily. "I can't believe he left me... us again!!!" She shouted. "He's going to get himself killed!" The girls (and Stormy and Fang. What, did you forget them?) had all left Unity's room and were now back in Twilight and Rarity's original room. They had all packed up what little they brought with them. (Which basically means the party cannon and that's about it.) They were supposed to sleep and leave in the morning, but none of them could find the peace of mind to rest.

"He can't help it. It's just who he is." Stormy soothed. The girls had been working themselves into a rage over Sharky's actions, but Stormy was doing his best to keep them calm. It wasn't really working.

"I DON'T CARE HOW HE IS! THAT DOESN'T MEAN HE CAN KEEP ALMOST DYING!" Twilight yelled in Stormy's face.

"I agree! Sharky should be more careful!" Fluttershy added. "He isn't invincible!"

"Yes dear, he needs to look after himself. Celestia knows who he's trying to protect with his life now!" Rarity added angrily.

"Yeah! No matter how cool he is, everypony has limits! He doesn't need to keep running headfirst into danger!" Rainbow Dash raged. "He needs to quit thinking he's proving something by doing this!"

"HE DOESN'T THINK HE IS!!!" Stormy snapped. He was normally calm and collected, but everypony has a breaking point. He had been putting up with this for four hours! "HE WANTS TO PROTECT EVERYPONY! HE DOESN'T THINK HE'S SHOWING OFF, HE DOESN'T THINK HE'S INVINCIBLE, AND CELESTIA HELP ME, HE'D DIE FOR A COMPLETE STRANGER. IT'S HOW HE IS AND IT'S WHY FOUR OF YOU LIKE HIM!!!" Stormy screamed. Then his eyes shrank as he realized what he had just yelled. The girls quieted down eerily quickly, and formed a circle around Stormy.

"What did you just say?" Twilight asked.

"N-nothing..." Stormy stuttered.

"No, no dear, I insist you tell us..." Rarity said menacingly. The circle continued to tighten.

Shadow and I had to walk for quite awhile. Apparently, Timber Wolves lived in a forest about half as far away from Appleloosa as Fluttershy's house is from Ponyville. We arrived at the forest's edge.

"Okay Shadow. Stay behind me alright?" I commanded. He nodded and we started walking into the forest. We crept around, not making any noise as we hunted. I began to scan the ground for paw prints. I saw many. There were what appeared to be deer, bunnies, and normal wolves in this forest as well. Eventually, I came across some wolf prints that looked different. Instead of the smooth bottom paw a wolf normally has, whatever wolf made this print had lines all along his paw, like the lines in wood! I sent up a silent prayer of thanks for the snow, I never could track otherwise, and started following the Timber wolf prints. I had been following them for about 2 minutes, when Shadow screamed behind me.

"WAAAAAAGGGHHHHH!!!!!" Stormy was flying down the halls full-tilt. Luckily for him, Rainbow Dash's wings were still bound, and Pinkie Pie kept getting distracted by the 'pretty paintings'. For some reason, Twilight and Rarity hadn't thought to use magic yet. Still, He wasn't gaining much distance on them.

"WAIT STORMY! WE JUST WANT TO ASK YOU A FEW QUESTIONS!" One of the mares yelled. Stormy didn't bother to turn around and see which one. He burst through yet ANOTHER set of doors, and he was outside.

"YES! HOME FREE!!" He cheered to himself. He flew straight up to the very top of the building. Then, just a few seconds later, he heard shouting below him.

"Where did he go?" Rarity asked.

"Ah crud! He problably flew away!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed angrily. Twilight sighed.

"Well, we're never gonna find him in the dark like this. Let's go inside girls. Besides, shouldn't we work this out ourselves? I'd swear I've written a letter about this..." Twilight mumbled sadly. The rest of the girls all muttered agreements and trotted back inside. Stormy breathed a sigh of relief.

"WHEW. I didn't think I'd be able to escape all of them..."

"You didn't." Said a voice from behind him. He was suddenly knocked over so that he was laying stomach down on the roof. He turned his head to see who had hit him, and there was a very enraged Fluttershy standing on his back.

I whirled around, axe in hand and faced whatever danger was behind me. I couldn't see anything though.

"Shadow, what are you screaming at?" I hissed. Shadow was shaking horribly. He pointed an unsteady hoof in the directon of a few bushes. I walked over to get a better look, but I instantly wished I hadn't. What Shadow had been pointing out, was a corpse. It was torn horribly, and hardly recognizable. What I could see, was it used to look exactaly like Shadow, but bigger. His cutie mark was a red heart with a white dove. Around his body lay about 5 shattered Timber Wolves. Now, I've only become truly enraged a few times in my life. You know, the rage where you see red and go absolutley berzerk? The one where for awhile you can't remember what happened until it comes back to you in your nightmares? Yeah, this was one of those times. My breathing got really deep, and each breath hissed out from my clenched teeth. All my muscles tensed, and I felt the intense desire to hit something. I swung my axe at the nearest tree, severing it in half.

"S-sharky?!" Shadow exclaimed in fright. The tree fell a few feet away from us.

"GRAAAAAAAAAGGGGHH!!!!!" I screamed. I started charging off through the forest, making as much noise as possible in hopes of attracting the wolves. I got my wish. A Timber Wolf jumped out of the brush and clamped his teeth around my axe arm. I brought up my left fist and smashed it against his muzzle. His bites hadn't been severe, but I couldn't say the same for the bite of my axe. I swung it at the stunned wolf's head, cutting it clean off his body. (58) 5 more wolves appeared out of the trees, circling me. I pulled a 'Link' (Legend of Zelda main charecter) and spun around, axe outstretched. One of the wolves had been approaching me with open jaws, he was split in half along his jaw line. (57) The others had all recieved big cuts from the spin, but didn't die. Before any of them could move again, I brought the flat of my axe smashing down on the nearest one's skull. He went down and wouldn't be getting back up. (56) The others all collected themselves, and rushed me at the same time. I didn't have time to react, so one of them each latched onto one of my arms. With both my arms immobilized, the third one dove at my neck, going in for a quick kill. I wasn't having it. I smashed my head into the third ones muzzle as he jumped at me. He fell to the ground stunned, but I was too pissed to feel the pain. I brought my arms together, smacking the Timber wolves into each other. They both fell away dazed, and I took the oppritunity to kill all three of the while they were on the ground. (53)

"Whoa Sharky! You DESTROYED them!" Shadow cheered. He had just caught up with me. I ignored him, and charged off again. Striking trees and trampling undergrowth as I ran by. Before long, I was spotted by two more wolves. They both growled and jumped for me at the same time. I sidestepped them, and brought my elbow down on the wolf nearest to me. He hit the ground at my feet, and I stomped on his neck until I heard the wood snap beneath my feet. (52) The other one whipped around and snarled at me. He gave a huge howl, then I split him in half, right down the middle. (51) Then, I heard a noise that sounded something like thunder. I looked around, trying to find the source of the sound. It seemed to come from everywhere.

"Shadow! RUN!!!" I yelled out. I didn't know where he was, but I knew he didn't want to be here. Then, out of the darkness of the forest, seemingly countless amounts of Timber wolves started charging at me. The first one reached me and bit into my leg. Because of my armor, I didn't feel a thing. I gave him the 'bitch, please' look, then kicked him into the next wolf. Another wolf jumped at me, but I held up my axe and let him impale himself on it. He hit it and died, but his body was stuck to the axe.(50) I growled in annoyance, and another wolf smacked into my chest. I stumbled backward, but didn't fall. I heard another wolf growl as he jumped at my back, but I remembered I had spent so much time with Shadow that I most likely had wings now. I snapped them open behind me, hitting the wolf and sending him flying into a nearby tree with a sickening--

*CRUNCH* He hit the ground. (49) I returned my attention to my front. Three more wolves had seperated themselves from the pack, and were trying to rush me. As they approached, I gave my wings a flap, sending me just over their heads. I spun horizontally and swung my axe with the momentum. Luckily, I swung at them with the side of the axe that DIDN'T have a body on it, and all three of them were sliced open. (46) I swung my axe at the growing crowd of Timber wolves as a challenge, and the body on my axe flew off and hit the first few in the front. They fell backward with the impact of the body. I rushed them and started swinging wildly. I lopped off the head of another wolf,(45) just as I slammed my fist into another wolf's eye. In retaliation, another wolf leapt up and slashed his claws across my face. He got me just above my right eye, which was suddenly blurred by my own blood. I howled, my rage renewed. I slammed my axe into the offending wolf's back, killing him instantly. (44) Another wolf bit into my axe arm again, and I reared my arm back and beat him off with my wings. I brought my axe arm down again, killing two wolves in it's path. (42) I was amazed at how well this axe was preforming! This was just awesome! I brought up my hand and force-palmed away another wolf. I got some splinters from that one, but I didn't care. I swung my axe again, catching another wolf in the jaw. He didn't die, but he was flung away. I dashed over to him and stomped on his chest. I brought my axe down on his neck. (41) Behing me, I could hear the wolves rush at my back, and I waited. At the last second, I swung around and brought my axe swinging around. I sliced through another wolf,(40) and the one right behind him jumped up and bit into my chest burns. I howled in pain and fell forward, crushing the wolf beneath me.(39) I rolled back to my feet as fast as I could, and another wolf smacked into my shoulder. I tilted to the right with the blow, but I swung back forward as he fell away from me and chopped into him with the back swing.(38) I spartan kicked another wolf that was charging me, and sent him flying backwards into his companions. I'm not gonna lie, things were starting to look bad. I was taking some serious injuries, and I had sent Shadow away... Which of course was the exact moment he came charging in.

"YAAAAAAAAHHH!!!" He screamed. He threw a little bottle at the wolves, and it exploded all over about 5 of them. Before my very eyes, they began to squeal and whine as they shrank and shrivled. The turned black with decay and fell to the ground. (33)

"What the hell was that?!" I screamed. He grinned at me.

"The opposite of my life elixer. You didn't think I'd let you handle this alone, did you?"

"I'd hoped for once, somepony would!" I yelled back at him. I turned back to the wolves and started attacking with renewed gusto. I chopped the first one I met, killing him instantly, then slashed through two more as the rushed me.(30) I laughed. This was going to be easier than I had thought. Then, a mighty roar came from behind the crowd of Timber wolves. They all parted at once, and a Timber wolf twice the size of the violent manticore stepped into view. "Uhhh... Shadow... You have more of that death potion?" I asked.

"I-I had two more vials... but..." He pointed towards the shrivled bodies of 6 more Timber wolves. (24)

"Crap."

This moment of bad-assness was brought to you by me. Because of all of you neigh-sayers out there that dissed his fighting skills. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it.

Smash Time

You know, I would like to say something before I get started with the wolf/Stormy smashing in this next chapter. I am really happy that everypony out there likes my writing so much. Starting out, I never imagined I'd have 100+ trackers and 10 favorites. I never even thought anybody would be interested in reading this really. Thank you all for inspiring me and encouraging me! Now that I'm done *Blech* FEELING... *shudder* Let the smashing ensue!

"I SWEAR I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING! PLEASE LET ME GO!!!" Stormy shrieked helplessly. Fluttershy refused to move.

"Not until you tell me who I'm competing with!" She hissed.

"THIS ISN'T A COMPETITION! SHARKY DOESN'T EVEN KNOW YOU LIKE HIM!" Stomry screamed in desperation. Fluttershy hopped a little, but didn't get off his back.

"W-what do you mean he doesn't know?" She stuttered.

"HE'S FREAKIN' CLUELESS!" Stormy yelled. "HE DOESN'T REALIZE ANY OF YOU LIKE HIM!"

"H-he doesn't? H-how is that... possible?" She asked quietly.

"Because he's an idiot." Stormy mumbled into the roof tiles. Fluttershy gave him a gentle kick.

"Don't be mean to him!" She scolded. "... *sigh* Well, what do I do?" She sighed sadly.

"Well, first you should get off me..." He mumbled. Fluttershy blushed.

"Oh... yes... sorry..." She muttered. She hopped off of him. As soon as she was off, Stormy stood up and took off at full speed. "YOU MEANIE!" Fluttershy yelled angrily at his retreating form. She sighed. She knew she wasn't a fast enough flier to catch him. She flew back down to the grounds and thought about Stormy's words.

Maybe... maybe I need to be more direct... She thought to herself.

As if the giant Timber Wolf wasn't bad enough, the strangest thing began to happen. The wolf nearest to the giant wolf, turned and ran into the giant wolf's leg. He disappeared in a flash of green light, and the giant wolf got even BIGGER.(23)

"CRAP CRAP CRAP!!!" I yelled as all the remaining small wolves began to rush into the giant one. "Shadow?! Can you heal me before this guy gets to full strength?!" I asked in a panic. He nodded and tossed me another vial. This one had blue stuff in it. I popped the cork and chugged the stuff as fast as I could.

"That should fix you up pretty fast! I warn you though, the effects can be--"

"HOLY SHIT I FEEL LIKE I JUST DRANK 50 MONSTERS!!!! MMMM TASTES LIKE HEALING!!!" I exploded.(verbally of course) I started hopping from leg to leg as every wound on my body sealed and my burns disappeared. "OK GIANT SCARY WOLF!!! LETS GO GO GO!!!" I shouted. All the wolves had finished running into his body, and he was now twice the size he had been when we had first seen him.(1) I sprinted over to him as fast as I could.

"--different for everypony... Oops." Shadow mutter to himself. "Wait, did he just say he DRINKS monsters?" He asked himself. He shuddered and walked back into the forest.

"YEEHAW!!!" I yelled. I had climbed up the wolf, totally forgetting I had wings, and was riding his neck. I still had my axe, and any time the wolf slowed down his bucking, I hit his back with the blade to spur him on. "WHEEEEEEEE!!!" The huge wolf flipped on to his back and tried to crush me, but I was too fast. I jumped off his back the moment he started turning, and I flapped to stay in the air above him. As soon as his belly was exposed. I flew down as fast as I could. "AIEAIEAIEAIEAIEIAIEIAIEYAAAAAAAA!!!" I indian called as I flew down and smashed my axe into his stomach. Sap squirted out of the wound and sprayed me. "HEY!!! THAT WASN'T NICE!!! THESE CLOTHES WERE A GIFT FROM PRINCESS LUNA!!!" I shrieked. I started chopping wildly with the axe, causing huge gashes to appear all over the wolf's stomach. The wolf rolled away from me and stood back up. He didn't appear to actually be hurt. "COME ON MR. WOLF!!! ARE YOU EVEN GONNA HIT ME?!?!" In response, he brought up his right forepaw and smacked me with the strength of Atlas.

*CRACK* I flew out of the sky and right into a tree.

"ALRIGHT!!! GOOD SHOT!!!" I admitted. I slowly pulled myself from the tree and rubbed my jaw. I'm sure something was broken, but I was to hyper to care. "ROUND TWO!!!" I cheered. I took off again, and landed on the wolf's back. "MAYBE I'M TO SMALL TO FIGHT YOU NOW, BUT AFTER I COPY YOU, I'LL KICK YOUR ASS!!!" I screamed. I latched on the wolf's back and focused all my energy on the Wolf's magic. I could feel it start to flow into me, but I guess this guy wasn't really all that strong magic wise, because the flow of magic didn't hurt at all. This magic was going to make me HUGE though. BREIF EXPLANATION OF MAGIC ABSOBRTION RULES!!! If I'm correct, the magic changes my size based on the size of what I absorbed it from, but the size is comparative to me. MEANING! If I were to absorb the magic of Big Mac, even though he is smaller than me, he is bigger than the average pony, so I would grow. If I were to absorb the power of a ten-foot dragon, even though he would be bigger than me, he is smaller than a normal dragon, so I would shrink. The thing I am copying NOW is roughly 34 times the size of a normal Timber Wolf. Yeah, do the math. While I was distracted giving an explanation to nopony, the wolf had rolled onto his back again. I shook my head clear of thoughts and managed to roll to the side. I narrowly dodged being crushed.

Geez, I hope the girls are having more fun than I am... I though ruefully as I leapt back up to the wolf's stomach and started axing him again.

"So, he really doesn't know..." Twilight mumbled. Fluttershy had gone back to the girls, which had made their way back to Twilight and Rarity's room, and explained to them what Stormy had told her.

"Well, he's swell and all, but he's just not mah type." Applejack said. "So Ah belive this discussion is between four of you." She said, pointing at the remaining five. She then turned and left the room. Pinkie Pie spoke up.

"He's a good friend, but I don't like him like that. I guess that means this is up to you girls." Pinkie said cheerily. She then bounced out of the room. An akward silence followed.

"Sooo... you girls like him too, huh?" Rainbow Dash started. The others all mumbled unintelligibly. "Great... just great..." She muttered. "Well, why do you like him?" She challenged. All the girls looked up at her.

"Because he's such a gentlecolt. Did you see how he acted when he first met me? I haven't been treated like a real lady like that by anypony else! Plus, he's so cultured! Did you know he speaks Prench AND can cook?" Rarity exclaimed.

"No way?! He can cook?" Rainbow exclaimed. "I knew he was against mares having to cook, but he knows how? That is SO AWESOME!" Twilight laughed.

"Yes, it is. Did you know he's really good with foals too? He knew how to take care of Unity already! Unity looked so happy with him..." Twilight said wistfully

"He is?!" Rarity asked. "Wow, I thought he was going to have a hard time figuring it out..."

"Yeah, Unity did look really happy in his arms... He's so warm when he carries you..." Fluttershy said distantly. All the girls nodded in agreement. They'd all been carried by him at some point.

"Well... What are we gonna do about this?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Well I certainly won't be backing down!" Rarity challenged.

"Me either! I've worked too hard to quit now!" Twilight exclaimed.

"I'm gonna beat you guys to him! I am the fastest after all!" Rainbow Dash cheered.

"BITCH HE'S MINE!!!" Fluttershy yelled. All the girls turned to her open mouthed. "Oh... uh sorry... I just... really like him..." She apologized.

"...Riiiiiight..." Rainbow Dash started. "Aaaaanyway, how about a contest?" She asked. The girls all looked at her with interest.

"What kind of contest?" Twilight asked.

"Well, right now he thinks of us all as friends right?" All the girls nodded. "Well, then let's see who can get him to think of of them as more than a friend first!" She cheered. "First one that can get him to kiss them wins!" All the girls put on competetive grins.

"Sounds like a good idea darling!" Rarity agreed "What are the rules?" Rainbow thought for a moment.

"Ok, Rule one: No telling him you or anypony else likes him." The girls nodded in agreement. "Rule two: No interfering with other competitors' efforts." The girls nodded again. "Rule three: He has to kiss you. You can't kiss him first." The girls nodded again. "Umm can anypony else think of any other rules?" The girls all seemed to think for a moment.

"I think it should also be a rule that we don't tell him or anypony else about the contest." Twilight suggested. The girls all nodded in agreement again.

"Ok girls, do we have a deal?" Rainbow Dash asked, offering up her hoof. The other girls all joined their hooves and shook hooves firmly to seal the agreement.

"Deal." They said together.

Then, somewhere in a forest near Appleloosa, I shuddered.

"Huh, that's funny... I just got this wierd feeling that I'm in serious trouble..." I said to myself. I was still sitting on the wolf, wailing away with the axe. I was cutting him, but the axe was too small compared to his body to do any real damage. At this rate, the best I could hope for was to bleed him out. This was about the fourth time he had rolled on to his back. Clearly he wasn't very smart. I had been here fighting the same wolf for like half an hour, so I was starting to get really big. It was hard to hold my axe, and my wings had disappeared long ago. The wolf rolled back to his feet again, and I sighed. I went with the roll, and I ended up standing under him. I jumped up and slammed my axe into his underbelly as hard as I could. He howled in pain. My axe ended up stuck in his belly, so I just stayed there, several feet off the ground holding onto my axe handle. Shadow trotted back in.

"What are you doing?!" He shouted at me.

"Oh you know, hanging around." Damn, where's a rimshot when you need it?

"Riiight... Anyway, I made more of the death potion while you were distracting him!" He exclaimed.

"Perfect! Throw it at him!"

"Yeah, it won't work that easily, he's too big!"

"Fuck... Then what do we do?"

"Well, you need to get this inside him!"

"Why me!?"

"Do I look like a warrior to you?!"

"Good point. hold on, I'll be right there!" I yanked on my axe, but it seemed determined to stay put. I groaned and let it go. I hit the ground and took off towards Shadow. "Ok, give it to me!" He started to hoof over a little black vial, but then the giant wolf got his jaws around my leg. "AGHHH!" I grunted. The wolf started whipping me back and forth like a ragdoll.

"Sharky?! Are you ok?!" Shadow screamed.

"Oh yes! This is my idea of a good time!" I shouted back. "Look, he's got a crap ton of cuts on his belly, get under him and kill him yourself! Preferrably before he rips my leg off!" Shadow nodded and dashed under the wolf. I started pounding his muzzle with both arms, hoping to dislodge his grip, but to no avail. His bite wasn't actually hurting me, the armor was too thick. He was shaking me so fast that I could actually feel my leg trying to seperate from my body. My blows weren't having any effect though, so all I could do was pray Shadow could kill him before I lost a limb. Then the wolf's eyes widened, and his jaw dropped as he let out a vicious howl of pain. Shadow ran out from under him.

"I did it!" He shouted happily. The wolf continued to howl horribly, and he started shriviling before my eyes.(0 Doo-do-do-dooo-doo dododooooo! FF victory song) He fell over on his side, and I limped to his stomach to get my axe. I managed to pull it out. I nodded to Shadow, and we got away as fast as we could. "Wait, are there more wolves?" He asked.

"I doubt it, they all attacked when the one wolf howled for them." I reasoned. "And personally, I'd rather not find out. Now that the big one's gone, I'm sure the townsfolk can handle any stragglers." He nodded in agreement, and we made our way back to town.

New Citizen

On our way back to the town, we found Shadow's brother's body, and I dug a hole for him with my axe. We lay his body down, and I left to give Shadow a moment of peace. He came back a few minutes later, tear streaks running down his face. I didn't say anything the whole way back.

"Whew... that was... fun." I breathed when we made it back to town. My leg felt really strained, and at least one of my ribs was broken. I had reverted back to normal size during the walk. Shadow had been really silent the whole way back to town. "Hey, are you ok?"

"I... I... I killed them..." He muttered. I could see tears on the ground below his face. "I-I'm a monster..." I knealt down next to him and draped an arm over his shoulder.

"No you're not. You saved my life. Celestia knows how many others you saved as well. Plus, you avenged your brother! You should be proud." I consoled him.

"NO! They were ALIVE! They had thoughts and feelings! I can't believe I did that!" He wailed remorsefully. I was a little dumbstruck.

"Y-you're right... I never thought about it that way..." I mumbled.

What have I done? That manticore... Those wolves... They had family... they were sons and daughters, mothers and brothers... I... I AM a monster... I thought to myself. Then I thought about Stormy's broken body and the dead body of Shadow's brother. I gritted my teeth and let my sadness subside. No, I'm not the monster. They are. Right?.... I thought to myself.

"Look, it may be hard to accept what we did, but without us, many, many more ponies would have died." I tried. He wiped his eyes.

"Y-you're right... but I'm never doing this again..." He muttered. I laughed.

"I don't expect you to. Thank you for helping me though. I've got to get back to my friends and son now." I stood up to leave.

"W-wait!" He shouted. I paused and looked down at him. "I-I've got... nowhere to go now... C-can I co-come to P-ponyville... with you?" He asked. I grinned at him.

"I thought you'd never ask! I even know the perfect place for you to stay there!" He blinked up at me.

"R-really? T-that e-easily?" He asked.

"Sure, anything for my friends!" I shouted happily. "Now, grab me tight." I ordered. He did as commanded, and I pulled out my iPhone with my free hand. I hit 'dial' and only one button showed up. It was a picture of Luna. I pressed it, and Luna's face showed up on the screen. "Mission accomplished Princess!" I beamed. She gasped.

"A-already?! H-how!?" She stuttered in amazement. I grinned. Then I pointed the phone at Shadow.

"I had a little help." I said proudly. "Anyway, this guy will recieve half the pay, and he wants to come back with me."

"HEY! Half your pay wasn't part of the deal! Letting me come with you is enough!" He shouted.

"I don't care, you saved my life, you get half the pay."

"Shadow!?" Luna exclaimed. I frowned and turned the phone back to myself.

"How did you know his name Princess? I haven't even said it yet..." Luna's eyes darted around.

"Uhh... We try to learn the names of all our subjects..." She said. I nodded.

"Makes sense. Anyway, can you teleport us back now? I don't want anypony to see me and freak out."

"Fair enough, brace thyself." I hung up and grabbed Shadow tight with my free hand. We disappeared in a flash of black light.

"Wow! This is the Princess's bedroom?!?" Shadow exclaimed in delight. He was awestruck by it.

"Could you focus for a second? Luna is trying to talk to us." I scolded him. He froze.

"Did you just call her Luna?!" He gasped in amazement.

"Sharky, shame upon thou! Thou art to adress me as Princess!" Luna scolded me. I looked at her, a little hurt, but she winked at me and tilted her head towards Shadow. I understood, she didn't want everypony knowing I was on a first-name basis with her.

"Right Princess, sorry." I said humbly. "Now, where can I find my friends?" I asked. Then I realized I still hadn't dropped my axe. "Oh, and do you want this?" I held it out to her. She laughed at me.

"We will escort you to your friends shortly, and thou should keep thine axe for future assignments." She said, still laughing a bit. "But for now, thine payment." She trotted over to a little safe that I hadn't noticed the first few times I'd been here. She opened it and withdrew a small bag before closing it again. She trotted back to me and dropped the bag into my hand. It was actually really heavy, and I opened it to count the contents.

"SIX FUCKING THOUSAND BITS?!?!?!" I yelled in pure shock. Luna nodded.

"We are sorry the payment is so small, but--"

"WAIT... THIS IS A SMALL PAYMENT!?!" I yelled, still entirely shocked. "I CAN'T ACCEPT THIS MUCH!!!" I pulled out twenty gold bits. "Here, take these back. This seems at least a little more fair." I offered. Luna shook her head and refused to grab the bits.

"No, the payment is what you've earned. Take it." She ordered. I wanted to argue some more, but my arm retracted against my will and put the coins back in the bag.

"Darn the oath..." I muttered. I took thirty gold bits out of the bag and handed them to Shadow. "Well, at least take your pay then." I commanded him. He reluctantly took the bits and placed them in his saddlebag. Oh, did I not mention the bag? Well he's had it the whole time. How else would he carry all the vials? Luna nodded.

"Good, now to take thee to thine friends." She continued. We exited her chambers and started walking down more hallways.

"Hey Luna, can we go visit Unity first? I want to make sure he's ok." Luna nodded and changed direction. We started going down even more hallways until we reached Unity's room. The door was still closed, and the surrounding area seemed normal, so I approached the door and opened it. To be confronted by a speeding freight train heading right towards me. "CRAP" I slammed the door shut. Shadow gasped in fear. I guess he saw the train too.

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!" He screamed. I sighed.

"Ok, have you ever heard of Discord?" I asked. He snorted.

"The old mare's tale my brother used to try and scare me with? Yeah."

"Well, my son... Is a baby version of him. His name is Unity, and he is not evil, you don't need to freak out when you see him..." I said seriously. Shadow gave me a funny look, then burst out laughing.

"BWAHAHA!! YEAH, YOUR SON IS DISCORD! GOOD ONE!!" He continued laughing.

"YEAH THAT IS FUNNY! HE'S NOT DISCORD, CALL HIM THAT AGAIN AND IMMA SMACK YOU!!" I thundered. It really annoys me when ponies call him the same name as an evil chaos lord. Shadow shut up really fast.

"Wait... you mean you weren't kidding?!" He said, fear growing in his eyes. I rolled my eyes and grabbed him with my free hand. I was still carrying the axe.

"No need to be afraid, he's a baby after all." I opened the door again, and the room was normal. Until I walked by a dresser and it tried to bite me. I smacked it with the flat of the axe and it left me alone.

"Ummm is that normal?" Shadow squeaked. I put him down next to the crib and rubbed my chin.

"Define normal." I laughed. "Look, there he is...." I said happily, pointing to Unity. Just seeing his cute little face made me smile, no matter how bad my leg wanted to give out. He was sleeping soundly, and he still had a big grin on his face. Shadow seemed extremely nervous, but his expression softened when he saw Unity.

"Well... he is pretty cute..." Shadow admitted. I reached down and ran my fingers through Unity's mane. Then we left the room and gently closed the door behind us.

"Ok Princess, lets go to the girls now." I said. Luna nodded and trotted off. Shadow and I followed close behind. Eventually, after walking through another sequence of assorted halls and rooms, we ended up at Rarity and Twilight's room again. I nodded to Luna, and she took off. Shadow remained. I opened the door.

"Deal!" Some of the girls shouted as I opened the door. I walked in and saw Twilight, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, and Fluttershy all shaking hooves. Fang was lying down in a corner of the room, looking lonely.

"Hi girls! What's the deal?" I shouted. they all whipped around and looked at me.

"SHARKY!" They all yelled at the same time. They charged and hug tackled me, causing me to drop my axe and putting my leg in severe pain.

"Hi girls... ow." I responded. I tried to wrap my arms around them, but they were holding them to my sides. I could have forced my arms free, but I didn't feel like it. "I'm still waiting for the answer on that deal question..."

"Don't you question us! You left us, AGAIN!" Twilight yelled angrily, she didn't stop hugging me though.

"Well, what did you want me to do? Bring you monster hunting?!" I retorted. They flinched.

"Well... you could have at least said goodbye dear..." Rarity said sadly. My eyes widened.

"Uhhh... sorry about that... I uhhh... Really had to go... Lu-- the Princess said it was urgent." I lied. I could feel the girls nod against my chest.

"Yeah, that's what the Princess said too..." Twilight admitted.

"We were so worried..." Fluttershy said. "The Princess said there were 59 of those monsters..."

"59 huh? Wow, it certainly didn't feel like that." I muttered.

"How'd ya beat them all so fast?!" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Well, to be honest, I only killed about 24. This guy killed 11. Then they all joined into one super wolf and we killed that one together." I answered. All the girls lifted their heads off my chest and noticed Shadow for the first time. He hid his face in his mane as they all turned to him.

"Ummm... hi..." He said shyly. "I'm Shadow Breeze..."

"This guy saved my life!" I exclaimed proudly.

"You saved his life?" Twilight asked. He nodded timidly. All the girls lept off me and hug tackled him.

"Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" They shouted in unison. I took the momentary distraction as a chance to hobble over to Fang.

"Hey boy!" I whispered happily. He had been asleep, but he woke up at the sound of my voice. He jumped up on his paws and tackled me. "Heh heh, I missed you too boy!" I said happily. He was licking my face and wagging his tail like his life depended on it. "Sorry I had to leave so suddenly... That Pinkie Pie is crazy when it comes to parties." I whispered to him. The girls noticed I was missing.

"Hey, where'd he go?" Rainbow Dash asked. Shadow had curled up in shock, and he pointed a shaky hoof in my direction. I shot him a 'you bastard' look, and the girls rushed me again. I rolled Fang off my chest just in time. The four girls crashed into me again, wrapping me in another death hug.

"Don't you scare us like this again!" Twilight threatened. I laughed.

"I problably will." I said simply. The girls all sighed into my chest.

"Yes... you will..." Fluttershy mumbled sadly. "Please try and stay safe Sharky?" She asked.

"No promises..." I answered. A cyan hoof smacked my cheek.

"Jerk..." Rainbow Dash scolded. We sat there for a few more minutes, not saying anything.

"Ummm... Girls? Hugs don't normally last this long." I tried.

"They do when you come back from battle dear..." Rarity sighed. I groaned.

"Well, not that I don't enjoy hugs, but you girls are killing my injured leg." They all jumped off me at once.

Oh no... Let me see..." Fluttershy offered. "I can help..." I blushed.

"Uh... no, I don't want you to see it..." I mumbled.

"Why not dear?" Rarity asked.

"Well... you see... ummm... the injury is around my... inner hip..." I mumbled. "You know... the base of my leg... near..." I trailed off. Fluttershy's wings started rising.

"Let me see, I can help." Fluttershy said hurriedly.

"Ummm... no, I know that kinda thing doesn't matter to ponies, but I'd rather not..."

"Nonsense, it's for your own good Sharky. We can help." Twilight added.

"Uhhh... still no... Thanks for the offer though... ANYWAY! I need to talk to AJ about getting Shadow a place to stay in Ponyville." The girls snapped out of... whatever they had been in.

"He's coming to Ponyville?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Yeah, I thought he could get a job at the apple's farm." I explained. The girls gave me a funny look.

"They aren't open during winter..." Twilight muttered. I grinned.

"Not yet!" I said cryptically.

Cook Off

"Yupp, he can keep trees going even during winter!" I explained to Applejack. Her eyes widened.

"Really?! Iffn' he can do that, we won't have ta rely on our cider sales anymore!" Applejack exclaimed happily. Then she frowned. "What does his fancy tree stuff cost?" She asked.

"I'd be willing to make it for free... I just need a place to stay..." Shadow offered. Applejack flinched backward.

"Really? You'd give us your plant stuff fer free?" Applejack asked. Shadow nodded.

"Just for a place to sleep... and maybe food if it's not too much trouble..." Shadow finished.

"Why, Ah'd be honored to have ya stay with us! Thank ya so much!" Applejack cheered happily. "Ah can't wait ta tell mah family about this!"

"Well then it's settled!" I shouted happily. "Shadow is comin' with us! Now, if you girls don't mind, I haven't eaten since Sunday, and I believe it's Tuesday now. I'm going to go try and find something to eat now... Where's my axe?" The girls and Shadow gasped.

"Sharky!? What's wrong with you!?" Twilight gasped.

"We've got to get him to the kitchen now!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed.

"Quite right dear!" Rarity agreed. Twilight took off into the halls and Fluttershy, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash started pushing me after her.

"Ummm... girls... I can still walk..." I offered. They ignored me and kept pushing. I sighed and sidestepped. The three girls fell forward on their faces. "Ha! If I'm going, I'm carrying you!" I scooped them all up and jogged to catch up with Twilight. They all squealed a little when I grabbed them, but they settled in rather quickly. I managed to grab all three of them, but they looked a little squished. I had Fluttershy grab my neck and shift herself over to my back. Luckily my leg didn't hurt as much anymore, and they weren't touching my broken rib. Twilight got us to the kitchen. "Ok girls, what am I cooking?" I asked as I set them down. They started laughing.

"Sharky, you're not cooking." Twilight laughed. I frowned.

"Twilight, I am." I disagreed.

"No darling, you aren't." Rarity said sternly. I laughed this time.

"Yeah, try and stop me." I snorted. I started walking towards the giant fridge, when a purple aura wrapped around me and lifted me off the ground.

"Stopped you!" Twilight giggled.

"Hey! No fair!" I shouted.

"S-sharky? Please let us do this... We just want to help you..." Fluttershy mumbled. I calmed down.

"Ok Fluttershy, if it means that much to you..." I conceeded. The girls smiled and Twilight set me back down.

"Ok, just stay there dear, and we'll be right back!" Rarity commanded. I sat down and grumbled about women. I looked up and saw Rainbow Dash standing next to me. All the other girls had run off to cook.

"Hey Rainbow Dash, not much of a cook?" I asked. She blushed.

"Not really..." She admitted. I grinned at her.

"It's nothing to feel bad about. I'm just glad I'll never have to worry about you cooking for me!" I laughed. Rainbow Dash gave me a funny look.

"You don't like anypony cooking for you?" She asked.

"Not really. I mean, if it's a special occasion or I'm at a restaurant it's ok. I don't like it when anypony does things for me that they don't have to do though." I explained. "I like doing things FOR ponies instead." Rainbow held up a hoof.

"So wait, you don't want anypony to do anything for you, but you want other ponies to let you do things for them?" She asked. I got a huge grin.

"Eeyup, that's right!" I agreed. Rainbow Dash gave me a funny look.

"Oh my gosh... You aren't joking are you?" She asked. I frowned.

"Joking about what?" I asked. She almost fell over. I caught her and pulled her into my lap.

"Wow..." She mumbled.

"Rainbow Dash?! Are you ok?!" I asked worriedly. RD shook her mane and looked up at me.

"Yeah... I'm fine... Sharky, will you go to dinner with me?" She asked quickly. I flinched back in shock.

"Umm... It's like past midnight... Tomorrow?" I offered. She beamed and jumped out of my lap.

"REALLY!?" She squealed. All the other girls ran to us.

"REALLY?!" They exclaimed together. I flinched again.

"Ummm... yeah, I love going to dinner with my friends..." I said slowly, hoping to avoid another outburst. Rainbow Dash's mouth dropped open and her whole body sagged. The other three girls started laughing until they fell over. "What just happened?" I asked out loud. All the girls snapped back to normal really fast.

"Nothing!" They shouted in unison. My head was spinning in confusion, but I let it go. Twilight, Rarity, and Fluttershy all trotted back to the kitchen, and RD crawled back into my lap. I ran my fingers through her mane and tried not to think about how confused I was.

"Okayyy... Just find a happy place..." I mumbled to myself. I rubbed my temples and cleared my head. I just sat like that for awhile, legs crossed with Rainbow Dash in my lap. Then I realized.

Holy F***! I'M IN EQUESTRIA!!! I hadn't really taken the time to think about it yet, everything had been happening too fast. RAINBOW DASH IS IN MY LAP!!! OH MY GOSH THIS IS SO COOL!!! I finally took the time to let myself just geek out about my situation. I cheered and partied in my head, trying to not move too much so that I didn't disturb Dash.

"Ok Sharky! First course is done!" Twilight called. I looked up, and Twilight trotted in levitating a bowl and a fork. "According to my book, small salads work for a good appetizer..." She said shyly. She magically handed m the little bowl of salad.

"Thanks Twi!" I said happily. I dug in with gusto and inhaled the salad. I don't even really remember what was in it, but it was actually really good. "What book?" I asked in between mouthfuls. Twilight blushed and dodged the question.

"Whoa! I didn't realize you were THAT hungry!" Twilight exclaimed. Then her eyes got really wide. "Did you just call me Twi?!" She asked really quickly. I flinched and set down the now-empty bowl.

"Oh... sorry.. I just thought a nickname would be nice... I mean you girls ONLY call me by my nickname. I'm sorry... won't happen again..." I mumbled.

"No no no no! I really like it! You just surprised me is all..." Twilight said happily.

"Hey, don't I get a nickname?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Sure. How's RD?" I asked.

"Awesome!" RD cheered. She smiled up to me from my lap.

"Well the main course has arrived!" Rarity called. She was just around the corner in the kitchen. She looked at me and blinked a lot. "Do I get a nickname dear?" Rarity asked. She was levitating a new dish and another fork. I smiled at her.

"No, absolutely not." I said simply after she magically handed me the dish. She gasped.

"Am I not good enough...?" Rarity asked. She sounded on the verge of tears. I laughed to lighten her mood.

"No, I just really like your name the way it is." I explained. She beamed and perked right back up.

"Oh! Well how sweet of yo--"

"OH MY GOSH YOU CAN COOK FRENCH FOOD TOO?!" I interrupted. "Oh, sorry didn't mean to interrupt... I was just surprised..." I amended. What Rarity had handed me was a quiche! (Egg pie with veggies in it.)

"No problem darling!" Rarity consoled. "I rarely get to cook for somepony who can appreciate it! By the way, it's Prench..."

"Well, I appreciate it. I'm glad you went through this trouble just for me... Oh and uhh Prench, right." I dug into the quiche hungrily, and it was freakin' delicious!!! "Oh my gosh Rarity! This is amazing!" I ate as fast as I could. I'm pretty sure I burned my mouth, but it was worth it!

"Well thank you dear! I's nice to see a stallion with such an... appetite..." She said in a funny voice. (Author's note: My character doesn't recognize sultry, seductive, or sexy tones, so those words are replaced with 'funny voice'. Duh.)

"Well... Thank.... you!" I said happily in between bites. I finished off the quiche.

"Um... do you like my name too?" Fluttershy asked. I looked up at her, slightly hiding behind her mane as usual. I sighed.

"I love your name Fluttershy... I just don't know why you're still so nervous around me..." I said a little sadly. I know shyness is Fluttershy's thing, but I woulda thought she'd be a little less scared of me by now. "All the same, do you mind if I just call you Shy?" I asked. The other three girls started laughing, but Fluttershy smiled at me.

"Oh... that would be... nice..." She murmured. She trotted over to me. She had a bowl balanced on one wing, and had somehow wrapped the other wing around a spoon. I grabbed them both from her. It was a bowl of vanilla ice cream with whipped cream, hot fudge, and a few cherries on it. I dug in, not noticing that the decorations formed a heart. It was actually the perfect dessert to follow my throat burning from the quiche.

"Wow! Thank you all!" I said as I finished the ice cream. The girls all gasped. I just looked at them in confusion. "What?"

"Sharky you just ate that ice cream in like, five seconds! You don't have a headache?" RD asked. I laughed.

"Nope, I don't get those. Don't know why, and I really don't care. I just enjoy." I explained. I think she was going to say something else, but I let out a massive yawn before she could. "Oh, sorry about that, I guess I'm just really sleepy... It's like 3:00 right?" I just threw out a random number, I really didn't have a clue. "I guess I'm more exhausted from that fight than I thought..."

"Well, let's get you to bed!" Twilight exclaimed. RD jumped out of my lap and I stood up. All the girls started pushing me again, and I sighed and sidestepped once more. Again, the girls fell forward. I scooped them all up and moved the pegasi to my shoulders.

"I told you girls, I carry YOU." I chuckled. The girls all gave a little laugh and settled in. I started walking towards Twilight and Rarity's room. I managed to make it most of the way on my own, but Twilight gently pointed me in the right direction when I took a wrong turn. We made it back to the room, and I tucked Twilight and Rarity into bed. "So, where am I taking you two?" I asked the two pegasi.

"W-well... I just slept next to you last time... C-c-could I j-just do that again?" Fluttershy asked REALLY timidly. I smiled.

"Oh, me too!" RD added.

"Alright girls, it's fine with me." I was really happy that they wanted to keep me company. I saw Fang curled up in the corner he had been laying in before. "Hey buddy!" I called to him. I stepped towards him and ended up tripping over my ax and falling on my chest. "Oof. You know what? I'm sleeping here." I said, too tired to get up and curl in my corner. I think they started trying to talk to me, but I fell asleep before I could remind myself to care.

"Ok girls, who do you think is doing the best so far?" Twilight asked as soon as they thought Sharky was asleep. "From what I saw, and I don't want to say this, but I think Rarity did the best with making him happy this time..." She admitted.

"I could hear him talking to Rarity... I think.. she was best this time too..." Fluttershy mumbled.

"Ooooh Yay!" Rarity squealed. "Thank you girls!" Rainbow Dash held up her hoof.

"Not so fast, he told me how happy he was with me for not trying to do stuff for him. AND I got a dinner date with him! I think I won." She said confidently. Rarity slumped in her bed.

"Good point dear, you win this time." Rarity admitted. "Well...do you mind if I join you girls?" She asked Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy.

"Sure, I don't mind." Fluttershy offered. Rarity hopped down from her bed and trotted over. She lay down on Sharky. Fang had also joined the girls, and they were all just laying next to Sharky.

"Hold on, I'm coming too!" Twilight called happily. She jumped off her bed and trotted over to Sharky as well. She settled in next to him and sighed contentedly. "I'm so glad we can work all this out girls."

"Well of course we did dear. We are all the best of friends after all." Rarity said. They all settled in and huddled close to Sharky.

Twilight woke up a few hours later. She slowly stood up and snuck away from everypony in the room. She ran out and down the hall, eager to see a certain princess.

I woke up surrounded by all the girls. I guess Twilight and Rarity ended up here in the night, Fang too. I slowly removed myself from the pile of pony and wolf, careful to not disturb any of them. I slowly tiptoed out of the room, careful to avoid my ax. I left the room and started running to Unity's room. I knew the way well enough now, I'd been here more than any other place after all. I got to his room, and opened the door carefully. No train tried to kill me this time, so I walked in. To find Celestia scowling at Unity in his crib.

"Well... hello, you must be Princess Celestia." I shouted. She jumped and turned her head towards me.

"Oh, hello. You must be Sharky. Twilight has told me much about you."

"Yeah, I would like you to step away from Unity now." I said coldly. The expression she had while looking at him had been pure rage. I didn't trust her near him.

"You don't command me!" She retorted. "Besides, this THING is an abomination. I don't understand why my sister allowed you to keep it."

Oh, she did it now. I cracked my neck and stepped towards her.

"I'm sorry, what did you call him?"

Trolling

"I said, he's an abomination. I'm considering his immediate execution!" Celestia continued. I cracked my knuckles.

"Don't you DARE. Touch my son, and I will destroy you." I ran over and grabbed Unity from his crib before she could react. I picked him up, and he was on fire. It didn't burn and it didn't appear to actually do anything, so I ignored it and hugged him close.

"You dare defy me?! I COMMAND ALL EQUESTRIANS! I ORDER HIS EXECUTION. ALL EQUESTRIANS MUST OBEY ME!" Celestia raged.

"WELL IT'S A GOOD THING I'M NOT AN EQUESTRIAN HUH?!" I raged right back. Unity was awake, but he was too busy staring at the flames to care about the yelling. I started absorbing Celestia's power in preparation for a fight. It hurt, A LOT. I ignored the pain and stayed strong for Unity.

"YOU'VE NO IDEA WHO YOU'RE MESSING WITH FOOL!" Celestia yelled.

"No, you don't know who you're messing with. Leave my son alone. I don't want to fight you, but I will." I said calmly. Celestia hunched over, hooves slightly spread like she was going to charge me. I got in a ready stance and prepared to fight. Then Celestia stood back up normally and beamed at me.

"Well well Twilight, you were right about him." Celestia said. I gave her a confused look.

"What?" I asked. Twilight walked in and stood next to Celestia.

"See? He'd do anything to protect those closest to him." Twilight said.

"What?" I asked.

"Yes, he even stood up to me. I applaud his bravery." Celestia continued.

"Fine, I'm leaving. You two enjoy your talk." I said. I was so purely confused, I wasn't even going to try to figure it out.

"Thank you!" Twilight shouted after me. After I was gone Celestia smiled down at Twilight.

"I approve." She said simply.

I found my way to the kitchen once more, and Celestia was there waiting for me.

"Oh great! Please don't confuse me any more!" I pleaded.

"Sorry about that, I wanted to judge your character so that I could be sure you would actually raise Unity to be good." She explained. I nodded.

"Fair enough. I hope I did good enough?" I asked. She smiled again.

"You were fantastic." She consoled me. She trotted over to me and stood only a few inches away.

"Oh good, I wouldn't want to displease you." I said nervously. She was really close.

"Oh, I think all you could do is please me..."

"Uhhhhh....."

"Because you take such good care of my little ponies!"

"Oh thank god..."

"Now I would like you to take care of me..."

"Uhhhhh....."

"You see, I'm not a cook, and I'm famished. Would you mind making me something? Is that too much?"

"Oh thank god... Sure Princess Mo--Celestia. That is, if you don't mind me using these bottles for Unity." I walked over to the bottle cabinet. Celestia jumped in shock.

"We still have those!? Yes, sure you can use those... but... could you leave one of each here? They are memories after all..." I jumped.

"Y-you're letting me keep them? I just expected to use them while I was here..."

"Sure you can have them! Though, do you really need that many?" Celestia asked. I laughed and held up my hand. Which STILL had the plastic wrap bottle on it.

"Yes Princess, I do." I chuckled. She laughed with me.

"Well keep them. Think of it as a thank you for breakfast." She said. I grinned and walked over to the fridge. It's not every day you get to cook for a god. I thought for a moment as I considered what to make her. I grinned as an idea came to me.

"Yes, that is toast, that is scrambled eggs, and that Princess, is cereal." I explained.

"I've not seen food quite like this..." Princess Celestia said hesitantly. I laughed.

"I thought not. That's why I made it!" I said happily. "It's really good, just try it!"

"I'm not sure..."

"Just try it ya big baby." I said forcefully. She gave me a stunned look. Then she smiled and burst out laughing.

"Nopony quite has the gall to speak to me like you do. Very well, I will try it." She conceeded. She took a hesitant bit of the cereal. Her eyes widened and she started eating it very quickly. "This... is... DELICIOUS!!!" She cheered. "What do you call this??"

"It's cereal. Frosted Oats to be exact." I explained. "Thanks for the bottles again." I had filled another bottle and Unity was drinking the bottle. Yeah, not the milk. Again. Celestia was watching him drink with intrest.

"So, why do you fill the bottle if he doesn't drink the milk?" She asked.

"Well, he doesn't always drink the bottle. Besides, he won't touch it unless it's filled with chocolate milk." I explained. Celestia gave me a confused look.

"Why does it have to be chocolate milk?" She asked. I shrugged.

"You tell me." I said simply. Unity finished the bottle and I grabbed the milk. It remained solid in my hand, and I had an idea. "Hey, do you think you can survive an explosion?" I asked. She laughed.

"My domain is the sun, an explosion would barely tickle." She said. I nodded.

"Good, catch." I threw the milk at her and it hit her in the chest.

*BOOM* I had turned away for the explosion, but I looked back as soon as I could. There was smoke everywhere, but as the smoke cleared I saw that the only thing effected by the blast was Celestia. She was sitting at the table, her eyes were really wide and she was blinking rapidly. Her mane's flow had been disturbed and now each of the colors waved around on their own.

"THAT'S why you shouldn't insult my son." I said simply. She glared at me, but we both cracked a smile and started laughing.

"Fair enough, you got me." She said. She stood up and shook herself. A little bit of soot flew off her coat.

"I'll fix your mane for you right after I burp Unity." I said. She gave me another confused look.

"What's wrong with my mane?" She asked. I laughed.

"Nothing, nothing. Just let me fix it." I burped Unity, and the little moon on the bottle flew out of his mouth. Yeah, the moon on the bottle was a sticker, but he burped out a moon rock. I walked over to Celestia and tried to fix her mane, but my hand passed right through it. "Hmmm... nevermind, I can't touch it." I said. Luna ran into the room.

"We heard the explosion! Is everypony o--" Luna looked at Celestia. Luna rolled on her back, laughing like an idiot. "Tia! Ha ha thou should see thyself!" Luna laughed. I looked at Luna, laughing and rolling around on the ground, and I started cracking up too. Celestia tried to look serious, but she couldn't keep a straight face either. We all ended up laughing like idiots. I know Unity didn't have a clue what was going on, but he was smiling and giggling too. We tried to stop laughing a few times, but each time we managed to compose ourselves, we looked at each other and burst out laughing again. Eventually we managed to calm ourselves down.

"Well sister, *snicker* let us fix thine mane..." Luna managed to say. Her aura wrapped around Celestia's mane and put it back together. "There, much better."

"Thank you Luna. Anyway, I believe it's about time we got Sharky and the others back to Ponyville, don't you agree?" Celestia asked. Luna nodded in agreement.

"Tis true, we hath prolonged thine stay enough already. Besides, we have another mission for thou Sharky." Luna said sadly. My jaw dropped.

"What do you mean sister?" Celestia asked suspiciously. Luna flinched.

"Ummm... we may have knighted Sharky..." Luna admitted.

"YOU DID WHAT?!? LUNA! YOU KNOW WHAT HE MEANS TO MY STUDENT AND HER FRIENDS! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!?" Celestia shreiked. I would've complained about having another mission so soon, but I didn't want to interrupt them.

"Because this... human? Tis human yes?" Luna asked me. I nodded. "Has the bravery and strength necessary to combat evils we cannot!" Luna shouted back at Celestia.

"Wait, what do you mean I can fight things you can't?" I asked. Luna flinched again and turned to me.

"Sharky..." Luna sighed. "You may never repeat what we tell thou now." She commanded. I nodded in understanding. "Controlling the moon and sun takes an unimaginable amount of energy. We are always controlling them, and as such, our power is limited greatly. Were we to try and combat the evils in Equestria, we would die from energy loss..." Luna explained.

"That doesn't mean you recruit HIM!" Celestia said firmly. "There are plenty of willing ponies to fight for Equestria. Why choose him?!"

"BECAUSE HE CAN SURVIVE!" Luna thundered. Celestia flinched from the force in her voice. "Do you know that in less than two hours, he wiped out a pack of 59 Timber Wolves? INCLUDING an alpha?" Luna asked. Celestia gasped.

"T-that's not possible..." Celestia murmured.

"Yeah it is. It really wasn't that hard, I had help too." I said. Celestia turned her attention to me.

"Sharky... No other PONY could do that. No matter who assisted them. With the exception of Luna and myself of course." Celestia explained.

"She speaks the truth Sharky, even our finest hunter failed to defeat them." Luna added.

"Who was your finest hunter?" I asked. Luna looked down at her hooves.

"Our finest hunter... twas Blade Breeze..." Luna mumbled. I tilted my head in confusion. That name sounded familiar...

"Wait... Blade Breeze... Shadow's brother was a HUNTER!?!" I yelled in realization. Luna nodded slowly.

"Yes, he never wanted to leave his brother unprotected, so he used his brother's invention as an excuse to travel and fight monsters without his brother knowing. He was our best Knight.... and a good pony..." Luna murmered sadly. I fell backward, causing myself to hit a wall and slide to the ground.

"Oh my gosh... Shadow would be devastated..." I murmered. I'd only known the guy a short while, but he was so peaceful... knowing that his brother killed behind his back for a living would destroy him... I shook my head clear of my thoughts and stood back up. "Well, then that means I HAVE to keep doing this. Nopony can do what I do, so I have to continue, no matter what. What's the monster Luna?" I asked.

"We... don't know. We have only recieved reports of a dragon-like creature on the outskirts of Ponyville. There have also been reports of more forest fires and dead animals in that area as well." Luna answered.

"Wait, did you say Ponyville?!" I asked quickly. Luna nodded.

"Yes, thine next mission... will be at thine home." Luna said in a serious tone.

Crap.

"Everypony, grab your stuff NOW! We are leaving." I announced as I ran into Twilight and Rarity's room. Twilight had returned to the room, and the girls had all woken up.

"What's wrong Sharky?" Fluttershy asked. The moment I had walked in, Fang was by my side. What a good wolf.

"I've got another mission. We need to go NOW." I explained. I walked over to my axe and held it in my left hand. My right still had Unity.

"Oh no! You're not leaving us AGAIN!" Twilight yelled.

"You're right. We're all going to Ponyville. Now." I said. Twilight gave me a confused look.

"I thought you said you got a mission..." Twilight muttered.

"I did." I said.

"Then why are you going to Ponyville?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Because I have a mission. NOW LETS GO." I would have picked them up and brought them, but my hands were full. I decided instead to turn and leave. Sure enough, they all followed closely behind.

"Hey Applejack, hi Shadow, hello Pinkie." I said as I stepped into their room. Shadow smiled and waved. The other two trotted up to me.

"Howdy Sharky. Are we leavin' anytime soon? I gotta get back to mah family." Applejack asked.

"And I've got to get back to the bakery! The Cakes are problably so far behind without me there to help!" Pinkie blurted.

"Well, good. We are leaving NOW. Follow me." I started walking away. Without turning I shouted behind me. "That means you too Shadow!"

"Oh... ok." Shadow said shyly. I led them all down the hall until we reached Luna.

"Ok Lu-- Princess, you can send us back now." I said.

"Very well, good luck Sharky." Luna said. We disappeared in a flash of black light.

Wait, why do I feel like I'm forgetting something? I thought to myself as we disappeared.

"I wonder if they're still looking for me..." Stormy muttered to himself as he huddled on top of small tower on Canterlot Palace.

Going to the Show

"So, how old are you now anyway? You said you were barely an adult earlier." I asked. The dragon-pony and I had been walking for awhile. He seemed really nervous about going to town.

"Oh... uhh... I just turned 18 a few days ago..." He responded hesitantly. I frowned.

"I thought ponies were considered adults way before that..." I said doubtfully.

"Oh, they are. I'm not really a pony though, so I age slower..." He explained. I nodded.

"So, what's your name?" I asked. He turned his head up and seemed to be thinking.

"I don't know. I think I had one, but it has been years since anypony called me anything other than 'freak' or 'monster'." He said sadly. My heart cried for him, but I didn't let myself shed any tears.

"That's... really sad man... How about we call you... Blaze?" I asked. He thought for a moment, then nodded.

"I like it. What about my last name?" Blaze asked. I snorted.

"You don't need a last name, you're too cool for that... like Chewbacca." I said.

"Who's Chewbacca?" Blaze asked. I laughed.

"Nopony you need to worry about." I said. Then my brain finally caught up with some math. "WAIT! YOU'VE BEEN LIVING ON YOUR OWN FOR 13 YEARS?!?!?" I shouted in shock. He didn't react.

"Yeah, 13 years of being hunted, burning down trees in my sleep, and killing animals to survive. Fun times." He said bitterly.

"Dude, I understand. You don't need to remind me at every turn how bad it was." I said. "Anyway, wait... did you say killing animals to survive? Why would you need to do that?" I asked. Blaze flinched this time.

"I... I uhh... eat meat..." Blaze said slowly. "I can eat vegetables and stuff too... but it's not enough..."

"Oh, I understand." I said. He looked at me in confusion.

"It doesn't bother you AT ALL?" He asked. I laughed and shook my head.

"It can't bother me if I'm the same way!" I said happily. His jaw dropped.

"Y-y-you eat m-meat t-to?" He stuttered. "And the ponies STILL let you live around them?!"

"Actually, I live with one. Yepp, they all accept me. One even cooked a steak for me... god that was an akward moment." I said simply.

"Oh, you live with somepony? Is it a mare?" He asked. "Wait did you just say that one COOKED MEAT FOR YOU?!"

"Yeah, I live with a lavender unicorn named Twilight, who is most likely gonna yell at me when I get back. Yes, there's a butter-yellow pegasus with a long pink mane named Fluttershy. She takes care of all animals, even meat eaters. She cooked a steak for me... yepp, still really akward..." I explained.

"Oh, is the lavender one your special somepony?" He asked. I sighed.

"You know, I kinda wish she could be... or maybe anypony actually, but I just got out of a really important relationship... besides, there's no way anyPONY could like something like me..." I said sadly. "You're lucky, you may be different, but you're still close enough to a pony for somepony to love you..." Fang nuzzled my hand to cheer me up. I smiled and patted his head.

"I don't know about that. I'm really different. Maybe they won't even want to look at me..." He said doubtfully. I laughed.

"Oh, I seriously doubt that. They don't have a problem looking at my son, and he's much MUCH more different than you are." He looked up at me in confusion again.

"I thought you said you didn't have a special somepony! How do you have a son?"

"Oh, he's adopted." I explained. He nodded, but his confusion didn't disappear.

"Well, what kind of pony could you adopt that looks even more different than me?" He asked.

"Look, you'll have to see him to understand ok?" I sighed. He nodded. We kept walking for awhile, until he broke the silence again.

"Hey, I didn't notice you had wings like me before!" He shouted in suprise. "Are you part dragon too?!" I laughed again.

"I guess, in a matter of speaking, I am now!" I stretched my wings out. It always felt good to flex wings, like freedom had just been achieved. "Yeah, another thing you need to know about me, I can copy the magic of anypony else." I explained.

"That's.... weird... but I guess it explains the horn..." He pointed at my forehead. I reached up, and sure enough, the was a horn. It felt different though. It curved backward and stayed close to my head instead of growing outward like a normal horn. I looked back to Blaze, and sure enough, he had a pitch-black horn on his head that blended in with his coat.

"Huh, wasn't expecting the horn..." I muttered. Right as I said that, we exited the forest. "Ok, well, let's go meet my friends shall we?" I asked. He looked at me in fear, but eventually he nodded. We snuck up to the library. Well, Blaze snuck, I just walked. When we got there he hid in the low hanging branches. I knocked on the door.

"Who is it?" Fluttershy called.

"It's the pizza pony." I called back.

"Oh! Sharky's back!" Fluttershy yelled.

"Yeah, and there's somepony I want you to meet. Now open the door please!" I called again. Twilight's aura wrapped around the door and it was flung open. I was met by two hug-tackles. I dropped my axe and fell to the ground. "Oof. You girls... not that I don't like your hugs, but that is gonna hurt me someday." I laughed.

"Yeah, if these hunts don't get you first..." Twilight said sadly.

"Ha! There's not a monster out there with the strength to get me!" I said with false confidence. "Speaking of which, I'd like you girls to meet the monster from today's hunt. BLAZE!" I called. The girls both sat up in fear. Blaze didn't show up.

"Sharky... who are you talking to?" Twilight asked. I frowned.

"Hold on a second... BLAZE! GET DOWN HERE!!" I yelled. Still no answer. "Hold on girls..." I said. I moved them both off my stomach. I stretched out my dragon wings and flew up to the branch Blaze was hiding on. "Hey, what's going on?"

"I-I-I'm not g-g-going d-down there..." He stuttered. He was shaking like a leaf. I groaned and grabbed him.

"Yes you are!" I jumped down from the branch, landing a few feet away from the girls. I set Blaze down. "Here he is girls!" I cheered. Blaze looked at them in fear, and curled up in the fetal postion.

"T-this i-is the m-m-m-monster?" Fluttershy asked, still scared. "H-he's... a p-pony..."

"Well... kinda..." I answered. I nudged Blaze with my foot. "Come on buddy, they won't bite." I promised. He slowly lifted a forehoof and looked at the girls. They both gasped.

"Oh my! He has dragon eyes!" Twilight said. "That is so... so... FANTASTIC! I've got to study this!" She ran over to Blaze and started looking him over. "Ok, normal pony body, curved horn, dragon wings...." She droned on, listing all of his features. I smiled down at Blaze.

"See? I told you they wouldn't be scared of you!" I said happily. "Well, I'll leave you three here to get to know each other. I've got to get to work!" I took off towards Sugarcube Corner.

"WAIT, YOU'RE JUST GOING TO LEAVE ME?!?!" Blaze screamed. Twilight sighed.

"You get used to it eventually..." Twilight muttered. Then she went back to analyzing him.

"Hi Mr. and Mrs. Cake! Hi Pinkie! Sorry I'm late, I was busy with my other job." I explained as I walked into Sugarcube Corner.

"Yeah, Pinkie told us. It's a real honor to have a Night Knight as an employee!" Mr. Cake said proudly. "I will still have to dock your pay for being late!" He laughed.

"Actually Mr. Cake, I don't want you to pay me any more." I said. He looked at me with a little bit of fear.

"You're quitting?! No, you can't leave now! We need your help!" Mr. Cake said quickly. I laughed.

"No, I'm not quitting, I just don't need you to pay me anymore. The Princess pays more than enough. I still want to help you though!" I explained.

"Oh no, I insist that you be paid. I know you don't like accepting things, Pinkie told me, but being paid is..." I opened my bit pouch and showed him the contents. "SWEET CELESTIA! THIS IS YOUR PAY?!" He shouted. I closed my bit pouch and reattached it to my hip.

"Actually, that's half the pay for one job." I explained. "Now will you let me work for free?" I asked. Mr. Cake's mouth was open, and he didn't seem able to close it. He nodded though, and I smiled and walked into the kitchen.

Ok, I'll admit it, not my best work day. I was doing great, until Pinkie tossed a sack of sugar at my and it hit my healing rib. Even with the Pinkie magic boosting me, I was slowed a lot. We still managed to get through a day's work and then some though. I said goodbye to the Cakes and Pinkie, and started walking towards the boutique.

"It's about time I get myself a freakin' shirt..." I grumbled to myself. Then a cyan pony smacked into my back. I fell forward onto my face. "ALRIGHT! WHO HAS THE BAL... Oh, hi RD. What's up?" I asked as I turned to see my assultant.

"Hey Sharky!" She greeted me. "I'm just here to take you to dinner remember?" She asked playfully. I groaned.

"Damn, I totally forgot!" I said. "I'm sorry, it has just been a really busy day. I was gonna go get a shirt made, but you're more important than clothing. Let's go!" I stood up and placed RD on the ground. "Ok, so where we going?" I asked.

"My place!" RD answered happily. I frowned.

"Ummm... I can't stand on clouds RD." I said. RD frowned.

"How'd you know I lived in a cloud?" She asked suspiciously. Crap.

"Uh... Ummm... Spike told me!" I shouted. She nodded.

"Oh, that makes sense. Well, I was thinkin we could hang out for awhile before we go to my place. You know, just long enough to let you grow wings." She explained. Whew, nice save.

"Sure, what do you wanna do?" I asked. She thought for a moment.

"Well, why don't we just talk?" She asked. I laughed.

"RD, you don't seem to be the talking type. Seriously, if you could do anything right now, no limits, what would it be?" I asked. She thought for awhile.

"Well, to be honest, I think I'd go see the Wonderbolts show in Manehattan. It's way to far th--" I put my finger to her lips and pulled out my iPhone.

"Consider it done!" I cheered. I hit the button to call Luna. The phone rang twice, then her face shimmered into view on the screen.

"Sharky! Hath thou completed thine mission already?!" She asked in suprise.

"Actually yes, a few hours ago actually. Turns out, it was a half dragon half pony! He's totally harmless... relatively speaking, and he's gonna settle down in Ponyville!" I said happily.

"Well, this is quite suprising... Congratulations on a job well done. Now, give us a moment to teleport thee thine pay..." She started.

"Actually Luna, I have a favor to ask instead. You see, me and RD here," I pointed the phone to RD. "Want to go to the Wonderbolts Show in Manehattan. Think you can help with transportation?" I asked. Luna gave me a huge grin.

"We can do better than that!" She said happily. "You see, we have our own special viewing platform for those shows. Thou may use it to watch the show!"

"Sweet! Thanks Luna!" I said.

"No problem. Anything for our friends!" She said. She hung up, and I put the iPhone back in my pocket. RD was staring at me open-mouthed.

"......NO WAY!!! YOU DID NOT JUST GET US A WONDERBOLTS SHOW FROM A ROYAL VIEWING PLATFORM WITH ONE... WHATEVER YOU CALL WHAT YOU JUST DID!!!" She squealed.

"Actually, I think I just did. By the way, it's called a phone call. Also, HOLY CROW I JUST GOT US TICKETS TO THE WONDERBOLTS IN MANEHATTAN WITH ONE CALL!!!" I squealed. Our geeking was cut short by a flash of black light.

"So, this is Manehattan huh?" I asked. It looked almost exactly like Manhattan, but with ponies everywhere. Awesome.

"OHMYGOSH! THIS IS SO AWESOME! YOU ARE THE BEST EVER SHARKY!" RD exclaimed. She jumped up and hugged me.

"No problem, that's what friends are good for right?" I laughed. RD dropped the hug and fell away from me.

"Yeah, friends. Anyway... I can see the Wonderbolt's track from here. Let's go." She said. I scooped her up in my arms, and took off in the direction she was pointing.

"Hey, your wings aren't bound anymore!" I exclaimed in suprise.

"Eeyup, they healed already! Now go on! Let's get there before the show starts!" She said excitedly.

Daring

Daring

"Ok, here we are!" I said happily. We had reached the gates to the Wonderbolt's stadium. Luckily, this one wasn't made out of cloud. I walked up to the gates, and was cut off by a rather large mare.

"Tickets please." She asked. "And no costumes are allowed in the stadium." She said to me specifically.

"Two things, one this isn't a costume. Two, Princess Luna is allowing us to use her royal viewing platform." I explained.

"Ha! Yeah, and I'm the queen of the Gryffin Empire!" She scoffed. "Now, show me some tickets, take off the costume, or get out of the way." She ordered. I sighed.

"Look, I really don't want to have to call Luna to solve this. Look, here's her royal seal, that good enough for you?" I asked as I pointed to my hip. She snorted.

"Obviously a fake. Now get out of the way, or I'll make you move. Got it?" She held up something akin to a cattle prod. I laughed.

"Not that I wouldn't love to see you try, but I hate fighting. I'll just call the Princess and you can explain this to her." I offered as I pulled out the little iPhone. The mare laughed.

"Sure, you're gonna just call for the Princess, and she'll come runni--"

"Hmm? Sharky, why hath thou called back so soon?" Luna's voice called from my iPhone. "Is the show unsatisfactory?" She asked.

"I would have no way of knowing. You see, this mare refuses to let RD and I in." I explained. The mare's mouth dropped open.

"WHAT?! Let us see her!" Luna commanded. I turned the phone to face the mare. Luna gasped. "Star! We told you specifically to let our friends in!" Luna yelled. Star tripped over herself trying to unlatch the gate.

"Oh! So sorry your Highness!" She mumbled repeatedly. She opened the gate and hurriedly rushed us to the viewing platform.

"Thanks Luna! Sorry I had to bother you." I said.

"Think nothing of it Sharky. We must go now. Farewell." She hung up.

"Wow... THIS IS SO AWESOME!" RD said. I heard an announcer shouting in the distance, and RD was hanging onto the rail at the edge of the platform.

"Is there anything else I can do for you sir?" Star asked hurriedly.

"Nah, we're good. Thank you." I said. Star bowed and left. I blushed a little. I wasn't royalty after all, that kind of respect was a little weird. I turned to examine the platform. It was really interesting. There were two HUGE thrones in the center. One black and one bright yellow. (I bet the yellow one is Luna's.) The room was divided right down the middle and colored to match the theme of the princess either side belonged to. Luna's was really dark, and had a bunch of spikes and dots of white thrown into the design. Celestia's had a bunch of pillows and rainbows everywhere. I walked over to Luna's side as fast as I could, and sat down in the darkest corner. I know I said I was afraid of the dark, but only while I'm alone. Otherwise, I love it. RD was totally engrossed in the show. I would have watched too, but honestly I had no intrest in it.

"Oh my gosh did you see that?!" RD said excitedly.

"I sure did." I lied. I could pretend to be interested at least. I tried walking over and watching a little after that, but after the Wonderbolts flew around the stadium a few times, disturbingly close to everypony's head, I lost interest and went back to my corner. Sure, their flight trails were cool and eveything, but I hate watching athletic things like sports or the Olympics. I much prefer participating. I wasn't sitting too far from RD, so I could still feel my wings growing. I sat there contentedly for about an hour, listening to random squeals from RD. Then, a voice started calling from the stadium, so I walked over to look. One of the Wonderbolts, Soarin I think, was speaking to the audience.

"Now, a lot of you ponies in Manehattan have been talking down our skills!" He called out. "Do you believe us now?" He shouted. The audience roared back with sounds of approval. "That's right!" He continued. "Is there anypony in the audience that still doesn't agree?" He asked. I put on a sly grin.

"ME!" I called out. Every eye in the stadium turned to me at the same time. Rainbow's mouth fell open. My wings were fully developed now, and I flew just off the platform. "I may not be a pony technically, but I know somepony that could outfly you EASY! As a matter of fact, let's prove it with a race shall we?" I shouted. The audience let out a collective-

"Ooooohhhh." at my challenge. Soarin got an angry tone to his voice.

"You challenge the Wonderbolts!? We are the best fliers in Equestria! Bring it on!" He accepted.

"Ha ha! Yes! Come on RD, you've got a race to win!" I cheered to her. She was still gaping at me open-mouthed.

"ARE YOU INSANE?!" She screeched. I thought for a moment.

"Yes, now let's GO!" I grabbed her and flew down to Soarin. "Here you go, Rainbow Dash! Fastest pegasus in Equestria! And for now, I'm Sharky White, fastest and only winged human!" I cheered. He gave me a bit of a stunned look as he actually got a good look at me, but he shook his head and regained his composure.

"What do you mean for now?" Soarin asked. I sighed.

"Look, it'd take too long to explain, just setup a race please? I do have other places to go!" I said cockily. Huh, I guess Rainbow's magic effects my attitude too.

"You got it!" He laughed. He let out a shrill whistle, and a bunch of pegasi appeared from nowhere and rearranged a few things on the track to make a clear raceway. "Ok you two, line up at the starting line!" He ordered. We did as commanded. We were immideately joined by a few more of the Wonderbolts, five in total. I looked at Dash.

"Hey RD?" I asked. She looked at me.

"You're crazy." She laughed. "I can't believe I'm about to race with the Wonderbolts!" She squealed.

"Yeah, me either." I agreed.

"Ready?" Soarin started. "Set?" We readied ourselves for takeoff. "GO!" We all blasted off the ground, me and RD easily taking the lead.

"Twilight! That's crazy!" Fluttershy gasped. Twilight's encounter with Unity had given her an idea.

"No it's not! Plus, it's our only way to figure out if Sharky will EVER like us!" Twilight protested. The girls had been discussing since they had put Unity to bed with Spike.

"Well... that would be nice... but reading his mind? I don't know..." Fluttershy mumbled. Twilight sighed.

"I don't like it either, but do you have a better idea?" Twilight asked. Fluttershy thought for a moment.

"Well... no... but still... is this a good idea? What if he finds out....." Fluttershy muttered.

"He won't, I'll just do it in his sleep." Twilight reassured her.

"Well what if I tell him?" Blaze asked. Twilight hit him with a wave of magic. He blinked a few times. "WHO ARE YOU TWO?! WHERE'S SHARKY?!" He screeched in fear. Twilight sighed and went through introductions again.

"Wow! I didn't expect it to be this easy!" I yelled to RD as we flew side-by-side towards the finish line on the final lap of the race.

"Well, to be fair most of them are stunt fliers!" She shouted back. "Still, you're right! Hey, maybe if we win they'll invite us to join them!" She said happily. I thought for a moment.

"Well, if only one of us wins, they'd be sure to get in!" I yelled back. She gave me a confused look, but I was focusing on a famailar white line as it faded into view. "Bye!" I yelled. I slowed my self down by flaring out my wings, and the white line threw me back like it did in the show. "WAAAAAHOOOOOO!" I yelled crazily as I blasted backwards past some very confused Wonderbolts. I put on a small smile and gave Spitfire and Soarin a little salute as I passed them. Right before I flew out of the stadium, I saw RD pull off the sonic rainboom and win the race. I sighed contentedly, and continued my backwards flight. Then I hit a building. Not one of those buildings with a ton of windows, but a solid, brick building. "OW!" I yelled. I slid down the side of the wall about 20 feet. "SWEET MOTHER OF CELESTIA THAT HURT!" I yelled. I rubbed my back, but nothing was actually broken. I was gonna bruise like a banana, but at least I wasn't really hurt.

Well, I certainly hope that she gets her invite to the Wonderbolts... I thought to myself. I stood up and cracked my back. Then I looked across the street, and saw a peculiar sign.

"Daring Do book signing?" I asked myself. "Wait, so Daring Do is REAL?!"I exclaimed to myself.

"Yeah, and your costume is stupid! Can we get past the obvious?!" Somepony yelled as he passed me.

"Well then..." I muttered to myself. I walked into the building with the Daring Do sign. It was a HUGE book store. There were at least 4 floors to it, and each floor was lined with bookselves, each stacked to the brim with books. There were giant signs pointing to Daring Do's signing booth, and a huge flank line heading away from it. "HOLY LINE!" I yelled. A few ponies turned around, but most ignored me. Daring Do looked up from a particular book she was signing. I guess she saw me, because her gasp was audible all the way to the back of the store.

"Whoa, what's THAT?!" She yelled. She flapped up from her chair, and flew over the heads of the waiting ponies. She touched down beside me. "I've been almost everywhere, but I've never seen something like this!" She exclaimed.

"Ummm... thanks?" I asked. She looked up at me.

"Oh good! You can talk!" She said. Daring Do wasn't wearing her adventurer's garb, she was dressed like a college professer.

"Eeyup, I can. I'm Sharky White. You are Daring Do! Famed explorer that teaches archaeology at a college right?" I asked. She nodded quickly.

"You read my books?" She asked. I smiled.

"Nope, I'd like to though." She faltered for a moment.

"T-then how do you know about me?" Daring asked.

"BECAUSE I CAN READ MINDS!" I yelled. Daring flinched and her ears dropped. "Just kidding, my friend is a really big fan of yours." I explained. She sighed.

"Whew, you had me goin' there. So, you here to get some books signed for this friend?" She asked.

"Yeah, I need to buy the collection too, how much is it?" I asked. Daring flinched again.

"Uh... the whole set is rather expensive... You sure?" She asked. I laughed.

"Oh yea? I'm sure, hit me with your worst price." I offered.

"2000 bits for the whole set....." She muttered. I smiled and pulled out my bit pouch. I pulled out twenty gold bits and handed them to her.

"I thought you said it was expensive!" I laughed. Daring's jaw dropped.

"W-what the? How does something like you get this much money ON HOOF?!" She asked.

"Oh, I'm a monster hunter." I explained as I pointed to my hip. Daring smiled in excitement.

"Oh, you must go on plenty adventures too!" She said excitedly. "Wanna swap stories?! I'll sign the books for freeee~!" She offered. I laughed again.

"That sounds great, but you should deal with your other fans first..." I said as I pointed to the huge line of ponies, who were all gaping at me. Daring slumped a little.

"Yeah... I should..." She sighed. She flew back to the little table where she was signing her books. The poines kept staring at me, and I backed out of the bulding. I made sure Daring saw me so that she'd know where I was when she was done. RD Flew into my back as I left the building. I didn't fall this time.

"OOF! Hi there RD! How'd it go with the Wonderbolts?" I asked. She beamed up at me.

"Oh it was awesome! They were so impressed with my speed, they let me join them!" She said excitedly. "Well, not now... but they said that as soon as there was room on the roster, they'd call me first!" She gushed.

"That's fantastic RD!" I cheered. She leapt up to my and I pulled her into a hug. "Oh my gosh this is SO AWESOME!" I gushed. I put her back down, and we stood there for awhile, gushing like two idiots. After we talked for awhile, RD looked at the ground for a second. Then RD looked up at me.

"You know, this has got to be the best day of my LIFE! I owe it all to you Sharky..." She said with a funny voice.

"Well, if you think it was good so far, I've got another suprise for you!" I said happily. RD gave me a suprised look.

"You know, I was supposed to take YOU out." She mumbled. "Fine, what else do you have? I doubt it compares to the Wonderbolts, but g--"

"Ok Sharky, I cleared out all the other fans!" Daring called from the door of the store. "How about that story swap now?" She asked. I smiled.

"Rainbow Dash, meet Daring Do!" I cheered. RD fell over, unconcious.

Bittersweet

"Does... she do this often?" Daring asked. I had carried RD into the store, and we were currently kicking back in a few cushy chairs while RD slept on a couch.

"Nah, she's just having the best day of her life. Maybe too good..." I mused. Daring laughed.

"What did you do to make her day this great?" She asked.

"Well, we were waiting for me to grow wings, so I called Princess Luna and got us tickets to the Wonderbolt's show just now." I started.

"Whoa! You can just call Princess Luna and get tickets to a sold out show?! Also, what do you mean grow wings?" She interrupted.

"Well, yes, I guess I can. You see, I had just completed a mission, and I asked her to get me to the show instead of paying me. That's why we were in the Royal viewing platform. Also, I need to grow wings to walk on clouds." I explained.

"You got to watch from the royal viewing platform? Wow, Princess Luna must like you! No wonder that was her best day ever! Why did you need to walk on clouds? While I'm at it, HOW DO YOU GROW WINGS?" She asked.

"Yeah, Luna and I are good friends... Don't tell anypony though, I don't think she wants eveypony to know. Oh, and that wasn't her best day ever because we watched the Wonderbolts, it was her best day ever because they recruited her. I needed to walk on clouds because RD invited me to her place for dinner. I copy the magic of anypony I'm near, so I can grow wings, a horn, anything really."

"THEY RECRUITED HER?! WHY?! Oh, and she invited you over for dinner? Is she your marefriend or something? How do you absorb magic?"

"Umm they recruited her because I challenged them to a race and basically lost it on purpose so that she would win and not tie with me. No, I can't say she's my marefriend... Nopony would like something like me... and uh... I came from a planet with almost no magic, so I act like a magic void of sorts. I take in the magic of the planet and it molds itself to whatever I'm closest to."

"Wait, you challenged the WONDERBOLTS to a race, and you had to lose ON PURPOSE?! Also, you shouldn't say things like that! Maybe she does like you! Have you asked? Wait, you've been doing all these things for a mare that doesn't like you? Also, what's it like living in Canterlot Palace?"

"Yes, I did challenge the Wonderbolts. RD over there is the fastest flier in Equestria, and the only pegasus able to preform a sonic rainboom. I was copying her magic, so I was just as fast. No, I never really asked. We're really good friends, and I'd hate to mess that up. Oh, and that's why I do this stuff for her, because we're such good friends. I don't live in Canterlot Palace... what makes you think that?"

"She's the legendary pegasus that does the rainboom? I've always wanted to meet her! Didn't you say you can CALL Princess Luna?"

"Yup, that's her! That's actually pretty funny, I'm sure she always wanted to meet you too! Also, I don't call her by yelling, I use this!" I pulled out the little iPhone and showed it to her.

"Wow! What is this thing?"

"Think of it as something like a magic mirror. I can call up an image of Luna and talk to her at almost anytime I want! I don't like doing it much, she is a Princess after all. I really live in Ponyville. RD does too!"

"Oh Ponyville you say? I don't think I've been there before... Say, why don't you tell me about one of your adventures now?"

"Umm... sure! Do you want to hear about the manticore fight, me killing myself, the Tim--"

"I'm sorry, did you just say killing yourself?" I grinned.

"Eeyup, you want to hear about that one?" She nodded vigerously. I grinned even wider, and dove into the tale.

"Then I adopted the baby Discord that had been left behind by the magic backlash!" I finished. Daring Do was staring at me, starry eyed with mouth hanging open.

"I've quite a few amazing things in my career, but it's not very often I can find somepony with adventure stories almost as good as mine!" After she finished talking, RD started to wake up. I ran over to her.

"Hmm? Ughh... Wha-- Sharky?" RD mumbled, still half asleep.

"Yupp, it's me! Glad you finally returned to the world of the living!" I joked. RD giggled a little.

"I had the funniest dream... My friends and I were all on this little glowing screen thingy, and you were watching us. Weird huh?"

"Uhh... yeah weird..." *cough cough* "Anyway, look! Daring Do!" I announced. RD turned her head to see Daring. Her eyes shot open and she jumped clear off the couch.

"OH MY GOSH IT IS YOU! I'M A REALLY BIG FAN!"

"Yes, so I heard." Daring said calmly. "I heard that you're the pegasus that can do the Sonic Rainboom! I'm a pretty big fan of yours too!"

"THIS IS SOOO AWESOME! I gotta get your autograph!"

"Don't worry about that, your friend over there got you the WHOLE set of my books, all signed by me!"

"He DID?! You DID?!" RD turned to me and hug tackled me. "THIS IS THE NICEST THING ANYPONY HAS EVER DONE FOR ME!"

"Heh, it's nothing really..." I was blushing bright red. I had expected her to be happy, but I'd underestimated how happy.

"No, it's EVERYTHING!" She shouted back. "In the same day, you got me a position on my dream team, AND you introduced me to my FAVORITE adventure pony! Not to mention got me ALL her books... SIGNED!"

"Umm... nah, I'm sure any of your friends woulda done the same..." I muttered.

"Well, this is nice!" Daring interrupted. "Hey, if you two don't mind, I'm invited to a little party tonight at a nice little club. I can bring a few guests, you two wanna come?"

"Wow, really?!" RD asked.

"Eeyup! You two both seem really interesting, and I can tell we're gonna be great friends! I insist you come!"

"Umm... no thanks..." I said. The girls both looked at me.

"Why not?" Daring asked.

"I really, REALLY, hate parties..."

"What? You never told me that!" RD exclaimed.

"Well, it's true. I'm terrible with parties, a real downer."

"Well, why don't you two come with me anyway? It's not a huge party anyway, really small."

"Really?" I asked hesitantly.

"Really."

listen to this while reading

"I THOUGHT YOU SAID SMALL!!!" I yelled over the party.

"YEAH, SO DID I!!!" Daring yelled back. The entire 2 story building was filled with ponies, all dancing and drinking. Daring tried to continue talking to me, but I went into panic mode and ran to the least crowded part of the building. Behind the DJ's booth. The was a pony there, spinning records. Luckily, he was the only one there. He looked at me in confusion, and took off his headset.

"ALRIGHT, I'LL BITE. WHO SPIKED MY DRINK?!" He shouted. Nopony even turned to him. He sighed audibly. "FINE, I'LL TALK TO THE HALLUCINATION THEN!" He turned to me. "HEY, WHAT'S UP?"

"NOTHING MUCH, JUST A MINOR PANIC ATTACK!"

"HA! SURE. SO, I'M NIGHT WEAVER! WHAT'S YOUR NAME?"

"I'M SHARKY! THIS MUSIC IS COOL! DO YOU DJ A LOT?!" I asked, trying to take my mind off the panic.

"I WISH! THIS IS THE FIRST PARTY I'VE EVER WORKED IN MANEHATTAN!"

"WHY? YOU SEEM REALLY GOOD!"

"I AM, PONIES IN MANEHATTAN ALMOST NEVER PARTY!"

"WHAT? THAT'S INSANE! I KNOW A PLACE WHERE THEY PARTY LIKE EVERY OTHER DAY!"

"REALLY? WHERE!?"

"IN PONYVILLE THERE'S A PINK PONY NAMED PINKIE PIE THAT PARTIES ALL THE TIME! I'M SURE SHE COULD FIND YOU SOME MORE WORK!"

"REALLY?!"

"WELL, ANOTHER DJ ALREADY LIVES THERE, SO I'M NOT SURE!"

"HEH, IT'S WORTH A SHOT! WHEN I'M DONE HALLUCINATING, IMMA FIND THIS PONYVILLE PLACE!"

"YEAH, ABOUT THAT, YOU'RE NOT HALLUCINATING!" At that, I waved goodbye and ran off again. I found my way to the exit, bowling over everypony in my way. I made my way outside, and gulped down the fresh air as fast as I could. "Ok, NEVER AGAIN!" I shouted. I walked a little ways away from the building, I turned down the nearest alley, and sat down. I breathed and tried to clear my head. I felt a hoof press up to my neck.

"Don't move, and nopony gets hurt!" A familiar voice growled. A familiar scent drifted from the foreleg, and I grinned and flipped the offending pony over my shoulder and into my arms.

"You really shouldn't sneak up on a guy that kills monsters for a living RD." I laughed.

"Darn! How'd you know it was me?!"

"Easy, you smell like rain."

"Wait, how... what... you can smell me?"

"Well, I've carried you enough times to know what you smell like yes."

"That's... interesting. Is it a good smell?"

"The smell of rain is the best smell in the world in my opinion! Well, other than the ocean."

"Awww..."

"So, why aren't you still partying with Daring?"

"I don't really love parties either..."

"Liar."

"Heh, ok fine! I didn't want to let you be alone..."

"Aww thanks, you're a great friend!" RD frowned at me.

"Gah buck it!" She hopped out of my arms.

"What did I do?"

"Nothing..."

"Hey! That's where you two went!" Daring interrupted. "Why are you out here?"

"Because I told you, I FUCKING HATE PARTIES! NOT COOL DARING!" I yelled. She flinched.

"Heh, sorry. I thought maybe you wouldn't mind it once you were actually there..."

"Yeah, I minded it. A LOT. Anyway, I gotta get to dinner now. It's getting awfully late."

"Aww... well, I'm sure I'll see you again someday, as a matter of fact, call me before you go on your next hunt ok?"

"Umm... sure... how?"

"Oh yeah... maybe you can use that cool little gadget you showed me earlier?"

"Maybe, I'll call Luna and ask." I pulled out my iPhone and called Luna. She picked up on the fifth ring.

"Yes Sharky? Art thou ready to go home now?"

"Yeah I am Luna, but before I do, I have a question. Is there any way I can add more ponies to my phone?"

"Why yes! That mirror works with magic, just ask it to let thee contact another pony, and that pony shall become reachable." Luna explained.

"That's it? That's all I need to do?"

"Well, thou hath to be near the pony thou wishes to add..."

"Wow, sweet. Umm... phone? Can you add Daring Do to my call list? Or whatever list it is I use to call..." A blue light shot out of the phone and waved over Daring. She jumped back in shock, and my contact picture of her ended up being her in mid-air with wide eyes and an open mouth. I laughed.

"Ok, thanks Luna! We can go now!" I thought for a moment. "Wait, I need to grab the books!" We all ran back to the store and I picked up a rather large stack of books, all signed by Daring Do. "Ok, now we can go!"

"Art thou sure?" Luna asked.

"Eeyup, bye Daring!" She waved goodbye, and RD and I disappeared in a flash.

"Whew! Feels good to be back in Ponyville!" I shouted. RD and I were standing in the middle of the town square. We were the only ones still there. "Wow, it's later than I thought!" I exclaimed as I looked up at the dark sky. "We should get to dinner huh?"

"Hmm? Yeah, let's go..." She muttered.

"Umm... ok, which way?" She pointed into the sky off to the left, and we both took off. I still had her wings, so it was only a short time before we made it to her house. "Where can I put these books?" She pointed to a fluffy bookcase, which was painfully empty. I set all the books down in it, and stood where I was. "You know what? I'm actually really hungry! What about that dinner?"

"Oh, It's in the dining room. Follow me." RD said quietly. She started trotting off.

"RD... Is something wrong?"

"No, this is the best day I've ever had! It's... just not ending the way I wanted..."

"Oh... can I fix it?"

"Yes, yes you could. Unfortunately, you won't. Let's eat." I gave her a confused look.

"Of course I'll fix it! What's the problem anyway?"

"Just forget it. Anyway, here we are!" She pointed to a table laden with various apple-based dishes. "Applejack taught me how to make this stuff. I hope I did alright." I narrowed my eyes at her, but decided to drop the previous subject.

"Well, it all LOOKS delicious!" I cheered happily, trying to dispel RD sour mood. She smiled, but it looked a little forced.

"Thanks... let's eat!" We both dug into the food, and it was all really good! A little cold, but still good. I had some apple pie, applesauce, and apple juice, but not much else. I finished eating before RD, and I looked around the house a little. There were lit candles in a few places, but there wasn't any other light. It made it hard to see much more than RD and the food.

"Hey RD, what's it like to sleep on a cloud?" I asked suddenly. She looked up at me, a small smile creeping over her face.

"You wanna find out?" She asked.

"Yeah! I'd bet it's awesome right?"

"It sure is! Come on!" She stepped away from the table and walked out of the room. I picked up a few dishes off the table and started washing them off in a nearby sink. (Don't ask me how a cloud gets running water! I don't know!) RD popped back into the room. "What are you doing?"

"Washing off the dinner dishes."

"Why?"

"So that you don't have to deal with them later."

"Sweet Celestia... " She muttered. She bit the cloth tied around my neck, and dragged me away from the sink.

"HEY!"

"No, I'm not letting you do everything! You've done enough for me today." She said through my cloth. I sighed and turned to follow her. She smiled and released the cloth. She turned to leave the room again, and I slowly started backing towards the dishes again. "NO!" She yelled at me. My shoulders drooped and I walked after her. She led me into what I recognized as her bedroom. She pointed to the bed. "You can sleep here!"

"Oh, I couldn't take your bed RD!"

"You aren't!" She hopped up into the bed. "We're sharing! After all, you wouldn't want to lose your wings in the night and fall to the ground, right?" I thought for a moment.

"Good point... ok fine... if you don't mind..." She smiled.

"Not at all! Now come on slow poke!" I grinned back at her and climbed into the bed. Her bed was just as small as Twilight's, so we had to spoon... Damn.

"Umm... is this still ok RD?"

"Yeah, this is awesome..."

"Okayyy..." I might have protested a little more, but DAMN that cloud bed was comfy. I was out in a matter of minutes.

Trust

"Ugh! Where is he?!" Twilight was pacing back and forth in front of her bed. Fluttershy had already gone home, and Blaze had gone back into the forest for the night. Spike and Unity were still asleep, but Twilight had been up all night waiting for Sharky to come back from Sugarcube Corner. She would leave to look for him, but she was afraid that if she left he'd show up and leave when he realized she wasn't there. She had already tried scrying for him, but it hadn't worked. She had been worried that something bad had happened, but then she told herself he was just out of range again. "Wait, what was that?" She had heard something outside her door. She ran over and threw the door open, to reveal a very flustered looking Sharky. "WHERE IN THE NAME OF CELESTIA HAVE YOU BEEN?!?"

"Manehattan, please let me in." Twilight gasped, but she moved out of the way for Sharky to enter.

"What were you doing in MANEHATTAN?!"

"I raced the Wonderbolts and met Daring Do. Oh, also I got tricked into a club, where I met a nice DJ pony."

".... You know what? Don't explain that. I'm just happy you're back." Then she had a thought. "Weren't you supposed to go to dinner with Rainbow Dash?"

"Eeyup, just got back from her house actually."

"W-why are you getting b-back so late?"

"Oh, I slept with her a little."

"YOU DID WHAT?!"

"Umm... She wanted to show me how soft a cloud bed was, and we slept next to each other so I wouldn't lose my wings in the night... why, what did you think?"

"Oh, nothing... So, why are you back? It's still the middle of the night... not that I mind..."

"Oh... uh... I... don't wanna talk about it..." I blushed. "I'm... gonna go take a shower now..." I dashed off before she could respond.

You know, sleeping here would be a lot easier if ponies didn't wiggle so freakin' much. I thought to myself as I stood in the cold shower. Glad I could make her happy though... Ha, I should so be geeking out right now. I had just given RD the best day of her life after all. I took a moment to go over everything that had happened since I got here. OH MY GOSH... Everything here is so AWESOME! I haven't had this much fun.... EVER! I just... wish I didn't have to go through what I did to get here... I ended my celebration with sadness for what I lost on my way here. At least I didn't have to feel guilty about living here, nobody was left to miss me... I turned off the shower and dried myself off. I got re-dressed, and stepped into the bedroom. Twilight was already in bed, but she was looking at me.

"Hey Twilight.... would you miss me if I was gone?" She gasped.

"Of course I would! Why would you ask that?!"

"Because I've got nobody else to miss me..." I said sadly. She gave me a confused look.

"What does that mean?"

"Hmm? Oh, it's nothing... I'm really tired, mind if I sleep now?"

"No, go ahead." She moved over in her bed for me, but I didn't notice. I had already walked over to the corner Fang was sleeping in and curled up next to him. Twilight sighed.

"Is something wrong Twilight?"

"No, goodnight." She said. I nodded sleepily, and I fell asleep in a few minutes.

"Ok, time to find out once and for all..." Twilight muttered to herself. As soon as she was sure Sharky was asleep, she crawled silently out of her bed, and trotted over to his sleeping form. She prepared her mind reading spell that she had looked up earlier in the day, and moved to touch her horn to Sharky's head. As soon as she was about an inch away from his head, Fang started growling at her. She was so startled, she fell backward and the magic cancelled out. "F-fang?" Fang was staring at her silently, daring her to try it again. Twilight stood back up, and touched her horn to Sharky's head without activating the spell, Fang didn't move. She moved her head back up, and activated the spell. She moved towards Sharky's head again, and Fang gave her another warning growl. She tried not activating the spell again, and Fang didn't move. Then she activated the spell while touching his head. Before she could actually get to Sharky's thoughts, Fang knocked her to the side. She shook her head and looked up at Fang. He hadn't bitten or clawed her, but it was obvious he wasn't letting her near Sharky with that spell. "Stupid wolf..." Twilight had half a mind to use a spell to incapacitate Fang, but if Sharky learned that she had used magic on Fang... He'd never like her for sure. She sighed. "Fine, you win this time. Remember though, you won't always be there when I am..." She warned. Fang gave a short yip in reply. Twilight trotted back to her bed, and tried to go to sleep.

Wednsday, January 8th.

I stretched out my limbs, groaning in pleasure as my joints cracked. I yawned and stratched my side as the world came into focus. I saw that Fang had moved from behind me to in front of me while I slept, but I didn't bother to think about it. I was very hairy and my canines had grown significantly due to Fang's magic. I stood up, and noticed that Twilight wasn't in bed anymore. I walked to the stairs, and on my way there I noticed Unity sleeping next to Spike. I don't know why I hadn't noticed before, there was a huge flashing neon sign pointing to Unity that read 'Unity is here'. I laughed to myself. I scooped up Unity in my arms, and the sign floated over to me. I walked downstairs, careful to avoid the doorway. Twilight was downstairs, reading a book.

"Good book Twilight?" I asked. She jumped about 3 feet in the air.

"Oh! Hi Sharky... Yeah, really informative..." She was blushing.

"Really? What's it called?"

"Uhh.... I take it Unity is here?" I looked up, and the 'Unity is here' sign was still following me. I laughed.

"Eeyup, I gotta make him breakfast.... After he wakes up anyway. I hope he wasn't too much trouble yesterday..."

"Oh no, he was a dear. I mean, other than the flowers he made grow out of Blaze's nose when Blaze sneezed."

"Well, in that event, I think you owe him a thank you! Flowers are better than flames after all..."

"True... Anyway, let me cook you some breakfast."

"No, let ME cook YOU some breakfast."

"Fine, but you have to wear a hairnet for your WHOLE BODY." I looked down at my wolf-self.

"Ok, good point. You can cook. THIS ONE TIME."

"I'll find other ways to get you to let me cook I'm sure!"

"Maybe..." I sighed and followed Twilight into the kitchen. I opened a few drawers on the off chance that Twilight had a spare bottle, and I was confronted by ALL the sun and moon bottles. Beside them was a huge package of powdered chocolate with a note attached. I pulled the note off the package, and it read:

Dear Sharky,

These aren't the only things you left at Canterlot Palace.

Best regards,

Celestia.

"Huh... Oh my gosh where's Stormy?!" I suddenly remembered.

"Gonna kill them, gonna kill them, gonna kill them." Stormy repeated to himself as he raced towards Ponyville.

"Well, that was pretty good!" I said happily. Unity had woken up, drank some milk (the actual milk), then burped up a tiny cow. After that, Twilight made some eggs, toast, and fruit slices. Always good. We let the tiny cow outside, where it was immediately grabbed by a passing bird. "Ok, that sucked."

"Eww... He's gonna eat it! That makes me so si--" Twilight stopped talking and looked at me. "Uh... I mean it's the natura--"

"Save it, I know what you meant. It's ok, I know it'll take some getting used to..." I muttered sadly. Being a meat-eater in a town full of peacful vegetarians kinda sucks. "Anyway, I think I'm gonna go check up on some things. I'll see you later." I left without another word. Carrying Unity with Fang by my side.

"Hi Big Mac!" The big red stallion was sitting on the porch of his house. I was still wolfed up, but he didn't seem to care. "Beautiful snowy day huh?"

"Eeyup."

"So, have you met Shadow yet?"

"Eeyup."

"Great! Is he working yet?"

"Eeyup."

"Is he out in the orchards now?"

"Eeyup."

"Which way?" Big Mac lifted a hoof and pointed down a path through the orchards. "Thanks!" I took off down the path. As I ran down it, Zapapples popped up on the trees, full color and growth. "Heh, Unity you do the coolest stuff!" I said to the little smiling bundle. He giggled and started tugging on my cloth. I suddenly ran into a part of the orchard where all the trees had all their leaves, and appleblossoms were on all the tree branches. "Whoa! Shadow has been working HARD!"

"I sure have!" Shadow trotted up to me from inbetween a few of the trees. "I haven't been able to stop working! Everypony here is so nice! I wanna do the best I can for them! I woke up earlier than the roosters this morning, and I've been out here working ever since!" I looked out as far as I could see, and the green trees extended almost to the back of the orchard!

"WHOA! How much of that life potion did you bring?!"

"Only like two vials, but I went through the forest and found a BUNCH of herbs, so I was able to make enough for the entire orchard!"

"H-how long did you spend looking for the herbs?"

"All of yesterday! I started fixing the trees today!"

"DUDE! THAT'S INSANE!"

"I kno-- wait, what?"

"You need to take a break man!"

"You don't."

".... Buck. Fine, but if AJ kills you because you're working too hard, don't come crying to me."

"If I'm dead I can't cry!" He shouted at me as I turned and left.

"Smart ass..." I muttered. I walked back to the barn.

"Hey! Sharky! 'Ave ya seen Shadow? Ah told 'im ta take break!" Applejack shouted as I passed by.

"Yeah, he was in town! Looking for some herbs I think!" I yelled back.

"Oh good! Hey, how'd ya like the stuff Rainbow Dash made for ya?"

"It was all fantastic! Great recepies Applejack!" I turned and left before she could keep talking. I quickly made my way back to the library. Spike answered the door. "Hey buddy!"

"Don't you buddy me!" He shouted angrily. "You need to quit making Twilight upset! I told you to not hurt her!"

"I-I don't?"

"Oh yes you do! Do you know how much she was freaking out last night!?"

"Spike! That's enough!" Twilight interrupted.

"B-but Twi..."

"No buts! Go!" She pointed back into the tree. Spike walked away, grumbling unintelligibly. "Sorry Sharky."

"You were upset?"

"Hmm? Oh! Uh... maybe a little... but you shouldn't pay Spike too much attention... He's just young and imaginative..."

"Don't lie to me Twilight. Am I worrying you too much? I want to be the best friend I can be, so I need to trust that you are going to be brutally honest with me."

*sigh* "Ok, you do worry me. A LOT! I wish you would just stop going off on crazy adventures and stay here... with me..."

"Well, I understand..."

No you don't. Twilight thought to herself.

"and I'm sorry, but I've gotta do these crazy adventures! It's one of the few things stopping monsters from killing lots of ponies!"

"Not just the monster ones! The random suprise ones where you go really far away with no warning! Those need to stop!"

"... ok, I promise I'll tell you before I leave on a crazy adventure that doesn't relate to monster hunting. Deal?"

"It's a start... So, why are you here already? Is there something you wanted to say to me?"

"Actually yea!" Twilight's ears perked up a little. "Where did Blaze go?" Her ears flopped back down.

"He went back to the forest for awhile. He said he'd be back today." I nodded.

"Sounds good to me! Well, I've got to get to work soon, do you mind taking care of Unity, or should I go ask Fluttershy?"

"No, no! I got him!" Twilight levitated Unity out of my arms.

"Thanks Twi! Bye!" I ran off to Sugarcube Corner.

"Bye..." *sigh* "At least you don't run, right Unity?" Unity giggled.

Stormy Weather

"SHARKY!!!" I turned to look for the direction of the voice, and RD smacked into my gut. I went down, again. While on the ground, I noticed that Fang was gone. Odd. Obviously he'd been gone for awhile, I wasn't wolfed up anymore.

"Ok, the ramming into me thing? GETTING OLD!"

"You left me!"

"Oh.... yes."

"WHY?!"

"....I don't wanna talk about it."

"Well I wanna hear about it!"

"Hey is that Spitfire!?" I said, pointing in a random direction.

"WHERE!?" RD flew off me and looked around wildly. "Wait a minute! Why do I care?! Sharky y--" I was already gone. "Dang it!" I ran as fast as my legs would carry me towards Sugarcube Corner. I made it inside before RD could find out where I'd gone.

"Whew..."

"Hey there! Ready to work already huh?" Mr. Cake asked as he walked in.

"Yes, let's work. NOW." I ran into the kitchen. Pinkie Pie and Mrs. Cake weren't even there yet, so it was just Mr. Cake and I for awhile.

"Hey Sharky?"

"Yes boss?"

"I'm really sorry I doubted you as an employee there for awhile..."

"Hmm? When?"

"You know, when you heard me talking to Pinkie Pie about you being worth the effort."

"Oh, I'd already forgotten! Think nothing of it Mr. Cake. I totally understand."

"Ok, that's good... Pinkie Pie had just told us all the wonderful things you've been doing, and I felt bad for not trusting you..."

"Like I said, I totally understand. I'm just glad everypony got used to me as fast as they did! Y'all are a really accepting bunch!" Wait, did I just say y'all? Damn southern raising...

"Yeah, we do try and get along with everypony... we're all really close. Except during the week of terror of course." (EPIC FORESHADOWING)

"The what?"

"You know, the week a--"

"Wow you guys sure got to work early!" Pinkie Pie bounced in.

"We sure did Pinkie! Wanna help?"

"You betcha!" She bounced over to the batter station, and we immersed ourselves in work again.

"Well, see you guys tomorrow!" I shouted as I left Sugarcube Corner. RD was waiting for me. "Oh... hi."

"YEAH! HI!"

"So... uh.... sorry?"

"SORRY?! YOU LEFT AGAIN! WHILE I WAS TRYING TO TALK TO YOU!"

"Yeah... Is that Stormy?"

"OH NO, YOU'RE NOT GETTING ME WITH THAT TRICK AGAIN!"

"I'M GONNA KILL YOU GUYS!" Stormy yelled as he bolted towards us. I Pinkie jumped about ten feet off the ground and caught him as he flew towards us.

"Stormy! You're back! I missed you buddy!" I cheered as I hugged him. Dang Pinkie magic... making me hug...

"YEAH I'M BACK! YOU BUCKING LEFT ME AT CANTERLOT!"

"Well where were you?! You weren't in either room we were staying in!"

"THAT'S BECAUSE I WAS HIDING FROM THOSE CRAZY MARES!" He pointed a hoof at RD. "YOU'RE LUCKY I'VE GOT AN OVERDUE SNOWSTORM TO BRING, OR I'D KILL YOU NOW!" He wiggled out of my hug.

"Good to see you too Stormy!"

"...Yeah, good to see you Sharky." He flew off into the clouds.

"...Did that just happen?" RD asked.

"I think so, this Pinkie magic makes me confused sometimes. You saw Stormy too right?"

"...Yea..."

"Then yep, it was real. Well, I gotta go find Blaze a place to stay! Bye!"

"Ok bye... WAIT I WAS MAD AT YO-- aww forget it." I ran off towards the forest to see if I could find Blaze. I walked around the outskirts of the forest, scanning for Blaze. Fang came running out of the forest.

"Hey buddy! So this is where you went! Why were you in the forest?" Fang licked his muzzle and I understood. "Right... well anyway, have you seen Blaze?" He nodded and took off in the direction of Fluttershy's house. I quickly followed him, and we made it to Fluttershy's house about 15 minutes later. I knocked on the door.

"Who is it?" Fluttershy called.

"It's me, Sharky! Is Blaze here?" Fluttershy flung the door open.

"Y-yes S-sharky... He's sitting on the couch..."

"Fluttershy... why are you STILL scared of me?..."

"Oh! I'm not scared!"

"Then why are you still hiding in your mane?"

"...I don't know..."

"*sigh* fine. Can I come in?"

"Oh p-please do..." She stepped out of the way, and and I kicked the snow off my boots and walked in. Sure enough, Blaze was there chilling on the couch.

"Hi Blaze! Where'd the flowers go?"

"Hi Sharky... What flowers?"

"Twilight said that Unity made you sneeze flowers."

"She did? Huh, I don't remember that..."

"Hmm... oh well! Anyway, I'm here to help find you a place to live!"

"Really? The forest is fine..."

"Well, wouldn't you prefer to sleep in a bed instead of on the ground?"

"... Well maybe... but--"

"Well then let's go find you a house!"

"Would you boys like something to eat first?" Fluttershy interrupted.

"Uhh... sure I guess." I answered.

"Great! I've still got some steaks left!" She trotted off into the kitchen. Blaze turned to me, open-mouthed.

"Did she just say STEAK?!"

"Yeah... It's weird I know."

"Did she just say STEAK?!"

"YES! You know what, just listen and it'll hit you." The steaks started sizzling as they hit the stove. Blaze fainted. I slapped him.

"I'M UP!"

"Yeah, I noticed. Just don't freak out about the steak ok? Fluttershy's used to taking care of meat-eating animals, and basically that's what we are."

"....Where does she get the steak?"

"I prefer not to know."

".... Good point..." Fluttershy trotted back in about 15 minutes later with 2 steaks.

"Here you go~!" She handed a plate to Blaze and I each took a plate. He gave me a frantic look, and I pulled him outside.

"Here, now we can eat and feel... less guilty." He gave me a thankful look, and dug in. "DAMN! You were hungry!" I dug into my steak too. We were both done in a matter of minutes.

"I.... am a terrible pony..."

"And I'm a terrible person... Well! Time to go house-hunting!"

"Y-yeah... let's go..."

"BYE FLUTTERSHY!"

"Bye Sharky..."

"Ok. Let's go!" I said happily. We started walking to the city. about 16 minutes into the walk, Blaze realized something.

"WAIT! Everypony's gonna freak out when they see me!"

"Huh... you're right... Well, oh well."

"Oh well?! I'm not gonna go there!"

"Fine! You go, I'll look for a house for ya."

"Really? You'd do that?"

"Eeyup."

"Thanks Sharky!" He took off towards the forest.

"No problem!" I shouted after him. I continued on my walk back to Ponyville. The sun was going down, but I still had quite a few hours left in my day. I made my way back to town, when I realized I had no idea who to talk to for a house. I decided to go to Rarity. Someone as attuned to life here as her most likely knew who to ask. Besides, I still needed a shirt. I ran the rest of the way to Ponyville, and got to Carousel Boutique. I knocked on the door.

"Who's there?" Rarity asked from inside.

"Hi Rarity, it's Sharky!"

"Oh! Be there in a minute dear!" Just a few seconds later the door was thrown open. "Why Sharky! It has been too long dear!"

"Uhh... a day if I remember correctly..." Rarity sniffled.

"That's still too long! Anyway, come in, I've got a suprise for you!" She stepped out of the way and I walked in.

"What is it?"

"Well, after you got those clothes," She pointed a hoof at my armored pants. "I made this to match!" She levitated a dark blue cape over to me. It was covered in little silvery dots. "I took all night to making it! All those stars are accurate to the view of the night sky from my window!" She said happily.

"Oh my gosh Rarity! This is amazing! Thank you!" I leaned down and hugged her. I lifted her clear off the ground, still hugging her.

"I-it wasn't that big a deal..."

"Oh don't be so modest! This is fantastic!"

"Well... T-thank you Sharky!" She wrapped her hooves around me in return. "It's nice to see somepony appreciate my work! The first time around anyway..."

"Well it's fantastic work Rarity, thanks!" I set her back down, but she took a few seconds to release me.

"It's no trouble. Now, what brings you to my boutique? I was planning on going to you!"

"Well, two things. One, I STILL need that shirt. Two, where can I look into buying a house." She motioned to the little measuring station, and I walked over to it obidiently.

"Well, everypony here usually builds or has their house built! I'm sure you could find somepony to make you a house. Why? Are you and Twilight fighting? You can always feel free to stay here!"

"Nah, no fighting. I promised Blaze I'd get him a house."

"...Sharky... I already know what you're thinking... Don't do it! You're far too busy already!"

"What?"

"You're thinking of builing Blaze a house! Don't do it!"

"Well, I wasn't before, but now that you mention it..."

"Sharky..."

"Fine... But I am paying for it if I'm not building it."

"Why would you do that?"

"Because I learned a lot about generosity from somepony I know."

"...Dang... Well, it appears you've got me. Fair enough. Well, hush and let me finish measuring dear." She still wasn't using magic, and she was dragging her hooves across my upper body as she measured. I actually was kind of enjoying it, and I didn't tell her that she was doing it. She might have stopped. Celestia I'm a terrible person. I sat there for about three hours, letting Rarity measure me. Sweetiebelle came into the boutique.

"Hi sis! Hi Sharky!"

"Hey there Sweetiebelle! Where did you come from?" I asked.

"Oh, me and the other Cutie Mark Crusaders were trying to see if we had any snow-related talents, but we still can't get our cutie marks!"

"Yeah, about those, nopony really ever explained them to me." I lied. I knew what they were, but it was only a matter of time before somepony realized I knew things I shouldn't. Best cover as many things as possible fast. I sat there and listened to Sweetiebelle's explanation of the cutie marks and how all her friends were trying to find them. She also told me about Applebloom and Scootaloo, so I didn't need to guard my knowledge of them either. One strange thing I noticed, after Sweetiebelle had come in, Rarity started using magic to hold the tape.

"So we tried making snow ponies, ice skating, snow angels, catching snow with our tounges, even snowball fights, but nothing worked!"

"Huh... I'm sorry Sweetiebelle... Maybe next time right?"

"Yeah, next time. Well, I should be getting to bed. It's getting really dark, and the storm was getting bad out there by the time I came home. Maybe we'll have a snow day tomorrow and get to crusade ALL DAY!" She trotted up to her room happily.

"Such an energetic sister you have there!"

"Oh believe me, you've no idea how hard it is to take care of her!"

"Try me."

"What?"

"Muffin button."

"What?"

"Huh?"

"...right. Well, that Unity of yours must be quite the hooffull himself!"

"Yeah, tell me about it! Well, luckily his magic only seems to be doing good things for now. I take that as a very good sign." Then a very disturbing thought crossed my mind. I suddenly remembered a fic I once read, 'I couldn't wake you up because you could never wake up again'. "Rarity, where does Scootaloo live?"

"Huh... well now that you ask, I don't really know..."

"....HOW BAD IS THAT STORM?!"

"Sharky?! What's wrong?!"

"QUICK! WHICH DIRECTION IS THE CMC'S TREEHOUSE?!"

"I-it's j-just outside of Ponyville... Head just about two minutes into the outer edges of the patch of trees near the edge of the north side of town n it's right th--" As soon as she gave me the directions, I stood up and ran out into the snow as fast as I could. I remembered which direction the sun had set in, assumed it was the same here as it was on Earth, did a direction check, and started running north full-tilt. The snow was coming down HARD! I mean HARD!!! I could barely see more than ten feet in front of my face, but I pushed on, knowing somepony's life may be in danger. I ran and ran and ran, all the way to the tree house. I climed up to the tiny building, and forced my way inside. Lying there, half-frozen, was Scootaloo.

And I didn't think I'd get this chapter out today after all! Well, I showed me!

Savior

I lifted her up carefully and wrapped her in my new cape. I then tucked the bundle under my shirt and dashed back through the snow as fast as I could. I ran all the way to the hospital, ignoring all the cold and energy drain trying to bring me down. I made it to the huge white building and staggered inside. I trudged over to the nearest nurse.

"Scootaloo... frozen... help..." I chattered as I handed her the bundle. She took it without hesitation, and dashed off into the hospital. I smiled in satisfaction, then collapsed and shivered on the floor.

"Uuughhh... Celestia why won't you let me be unconscious longer?" I mutter as the world faded into view. I groaned as I came awake. Half the mane six were staring at me. "You guys... have the BIGGEST eyes..." Twilight hit me with her hoof.

"THAT'S FOR SCARING ME AGAIN!!!" Rarity hit me too. Then Fluttershy. Then RD showed up out of nowhere and kissed my cheek.

"And that's for saving Scoots." RD said. She trotted away, and I saw her go to another bed across from mine. The other mares next to me all hugged me.

"Did I get her in time? Will she be ok?"

"The nurse said you got her just in time, she's going to be fine." Twilight consoled. I sighed in relief. "Now, the better question is, how did you know she was in trouble?" I froze.

"I... Uh... Sweetiebelle told me about them trying to find their cutie marks and how the storm was really bad and Rarity didn't know Scootaloo's parents, so I assumed the worst!" I managed to pull that outta thin air pretty fast. The girls all (including the three at Scootaloo's bed) nodded in understanding. I forced myself to stand.

"S-sharky?! What are you doing?! Lay back down Mister!" Fluttershy scolded. I ignored her and walked over to Scootaloo's bed. She was wrapped up in a crap ton of blankets, and she had a little heat pad on her head. She was clinging tightly to my cape.

"Gosh... she still looks so cold..." I muttered. "I should've gotten there sooner..."

"Now don't be hard on yerself! If it weren't fer you this little filly wouldn't still be with us..." Applejack consoled.

"I should've figured it out earlier though! Then maybe I could have gotten her before she was even hurt."

"Nonsense dear, without you she'd... well, you know. It's a miracle you managed to piece together enough information to think of this!" Rarity said.

"Well... I guess you're right... I just wish I could've done more...."

"You did enough Sharky, that's all that matters." RD said quietly. "You saved her life... Now I understand so much..."

"What do you mean RD?"

"Now I know why you run off to save lives. I didn't get it until I found out that Scoots almost died... Now I know what it means." She turned her head to look at me. There were tears in her eyes. "It means you saved me too. If I had learned that she died... I would have too. Inside at least."

"Wow, that was... deep."

"Yeah, don't expect it often." I felt a tugging on my pants leg, and I looked down to see Sweetiebelle. Applebloom was standing a bit behind her, mouth hanging open as she looked up at me.

"She's right Mr. Sharky. We both wanna say thanks for saving out friend Scootaloo. We never even bothered to ask where she lived..."

"Don't worry about it. I'm sure she would have hid the truth from you anyway."

"Well maybe, but we still shoulda asked..."

"Oh, don't be so hard on yourself. I'm sure Scootaloo will understand." I wasn't in pain persay, but I didn't feel like I should have been standing. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to lie back down..." I trudged back to the beds that had been pushed together, and laid down. "Goodnight girls..." I was out in a matter of seconds.

Thursday, January 9th

I woke up in darkness. I felt like it was morning, but it was still too overcast outside to tell. I stood up off my beds and stretched. Rarity, Twilight, and Fluttershy were asleep on my beds. RD... RD was asleep curled around Scootaloo. I smiled in approval, and went to the little bathroom. I felt great today, obviously I was better now. I looked at myself in the bathroom mirror, and I had a purple horn. Twilight had been the first one to get to the hospital I guess. I shrugged my shoulders and left the bathroom. I snuck out of the hospital before anypony could see me leaving. The moment I left, Fang bounded up to me out of nowhere.

"Hey buddy! You missed a lot of fun, lemme tell ya." He yipped. A few nearby ponies gave him a wary gaze, but mostly they ignored him. Then, one of the nearby mares ran up to me.

"You're the one that saved the filly right?" She asked. She had a purple mane and a maroon coat. She was turned so that I couldn't see her cutie marks. She was an earth pony.

"Umm... yes I guess I am." I answered hesitantly. She jumped in excitement, and waved over a little crew of other ponies. They all had little notepads and old-fashioned cameras and were all unicorns..

"Ooooh goody!" She turned and I saw that her mark was a newspaper. "Now, what is your name?"

"Uhh... Sharky White?" All the ponies rapidly scribbled down on their notepads. One snapped a picture.

"Excellent, now, is it true that you single-hoofedly slew a violent manticore?"

"Umm... no, I had some help from my good friend Stormy... look I'm really not comf--" The ponies scribbled some more and a few more pictures were taken. I backed up a little in suprise.

"Ok, now, what is your relationship with the filly you saved?"

"I uh... only met her when I saved her. I don't know her personally. Look I shoul--" More flashes and scribbling, I rubbed my eyes.

"Oh! risking your life for somepony you don't know! How brave! Now, what is your relationship with all the mares that are visiting currently?"

"We're all good friends. I'm gonna g--" Damn flashes!

"Really? I don't belive you. I wanna hear the truth." The mare demanded. I frowned.

"Fang, scare 'em off." He started growling and snapping at the little news crew. They all shrieked in fear, and took off running after snapping a few more pictures. "Dang you're a cool pet!" I grinned and rubbed his head. "Well, what should we do now Fang?" He tilted his head at me. "Right, still a wolf.... HOLY CRAP WHERE'S UNITY?!" I took off running to the library. I ran inside and scanned the house. I found him in bed with Spike, there was a note attached to the bed. I picked it up.

Dear Sharky,

Knowing that you would most likely leave the hospital before I wake up, I've prepared this note to keep you from freaking out. I took good care of Unity, and only left after he fell asleep with Spike. No need to worry about me leaving him behind.

With love,

Twilight.

"Whew, at least she didn't just leave him..." I whispered out loud. I looked back down at Unity, and scooped him up. I walked to the kitchen to make him a bottle. After walking about 20 feet from the bed, Unity turned into Spike! "SPIKE!?" I yelled.

"What!? Who?! Rarity?!" He yelled.

"W-what are you doing?!"

"What are you doing?! Why are you holding me?!"

"B-but you're over there!" I pointed at the little bed, with Spike still sound asleep in it. I put Spike down, and grabbed the other Spike. I walked away from the bed, and he turned into a frowning Unity. "B-b-but... S-spike... U-u-unit-- AW FORGET IT!" I walked downstairs with the new Unity and made him a bottle. "Man, I need to get used to these tricks..." He drank the milk again, but the bottle went with it. "Annnd, now he drinks both... great." I burped him, and a little ceramic cheese flew out of his mouth and shattered on the ground. "GREAT!" I turned to Spike, who had followed me downstarirs. "Where can I get a broom?"

"Hmm? We don't have a broom, Twilight usually just levitates messes off the floor." Huh, I wonder why she didn't do that when breakfast stuff spilled everywhere...

"Well darn..." Fang walked over and started brushing the glass aside with his tail. "Hey! good idea boy!" I cheered. He gave me his wolfish grin and kept brushing. I found a trash can in the kitchen. It was mostly empty, so I turned it on it's side so that Fang could sweep the glass into it. We finished cleaning up the mess, so I sat down next to a bookshelf and contemplated what to do next. "Well, we could go see Blaze... nah, he's problably hiding in the forest... I can't go to work, it's too early..." *sigh* Well, the first time I've ever been here with nothing to do. "Hey Spike, would you teach me about dragons?"

"Umm... sorry, I don't know much myself... I grew up with ponies after all."

"Right... right... Well what do gems taste like?"

"I... really don't know how to describe it. You have to eat one yourself to find out."

"Huh... you don't happen to have any gems do you?"

"Nope. I do know where we can get some though! If you're up for it."

"Sure dude! Where?"

"There's a gem mine not to far from here. Wanna go?"

"Isn't it dangerous?"

"Well, there used to be a bunch of Diamond Dogs there, but they shouldn't be a problem for you!"

"Well... where am I gonna put Unity?"

"YOU LEFT AGAIN!" Twilight yelled as she trotted in. I grabbed Spike and winked at him.

"I sure did. Could you hold Unity a sec?" She levitated Unity out of my arms, and I used my newly freed hand to grab my axe which I had left in the corner. "Thanks, now as fair warning... I'M GOING OFF ON ANOTHER CRAZY UNEEDED ADVENTURE BYE!!!" I dashed out the door and slammed it shut behing Fang. Spike and I laughed and he pointed me to the mines.

"Yes, he left AGAIN! Well, thanks for coming over and helping me with Unity, Fluttershy." Twilight complained.

"Oh, it's no trouble. So, did you get to see if he really likes us?"

"No! His stupid wolf wouldn't let me read his mind!"

"Hey! Be nice to Fang!"

"Sorry Fluttershy. I know Fang was just protecting Sharky, but it's... annoying to say the least."

"I understand... I'm really happy with the way those two bonded."

"Yeah... he seems to be getting along with Spike now too..."

"...Do you think Rainbow Dash is gonna be ok?"

"I don't know... I never really realized how much Scootaloo meant to her."

"Me either... she was so upset when we first got there... Sharky and Scootaloo in the hospital? Sharky alone made me cry..."

"I didn't cry... but I was pretty upset too. I can only imagine what this was like for her..."

"...You don't think Sharky will try and adopt Scootaloo too do you? It seems like something he'd do..."

"You know what? He'll try. I'm sure of that. I just don't think he realizes how little time he has to actually be around Unity alone! Scootaloo would be even more than that! Even with school!"

"... He'll find a way..."

"So, what do these Diamond Dogs look like anyway?" I asked as we rushed to the mines.

"Well, they look like dogs..." Spike started.

"Yeah..."

"That like diamonds."

"Smart ass..." I grumbled.

"Oh, and they stand on two legs like me and you."

"You and I." I corrected.

"What?"

"Nevermind. So, is that a Diamond Dog?" We had almost reached the mines, and there was a Diamond Dog standing on the path.

"Umm yeah. You still have the axe right?"

"Yeah, but I don't need it." He gave me a puzzled look, but I just kept running towards the dog. He was just a bit taller than the average pony, and he reminded me of a pug.

"HALT!" He screeched. I slowed to a stop a few feet away from him.

"Yes, is there a problem?"

"These mines belong to the Diamond Dogs! Leave now!"

"Nah, I don't think I will. I only want two gems anyway. Is that too much to ask?"

"YES! The gems belong to Diamond Dogs! ALL GEMS!"

"Well, I'd really hate to hurt you to get them. Why don't you just let me pass? I promise I won't take big gems. I'll even let you choose which ones I get. How's that?"

"NO! For the last time, LEAVE!"

"You know, I really REALLY don't want to fight you."

"Then turn and run now, while we still allow you to have your life!" A bunch of Diamond Dogs jumped up out of the ground. At least 6 in total, counting the pug.

"I'm sorry, did you just say ALLOW me to keep my life?" I asked as I raised my axe.

Sleep

"Alright, form an orderly line to recieve your beating!" I jeered at the dogs. One of them snarled, then fell face forward with a full-grown wolf attached to his back.

"WHOA! FANG FIGHTS?!" Spike yelled. I laughed.

"Nope, he OWNS. Just don't kill them Fang! I'll be back in a few minutes with a few gems!" He threw me a small bark and jumped at two more Diamond Dogs. I started walking off into the mine area.

"...Are you sure he can take them alone?"

"Nope."

"THEN WHY ARE YOU LETTING HIM FIGHT THEM ALONE?!"

"Because if he needs help, he'll call."

"... He'll... call?"

"Yup."

".... Are you insane?"

"Considering I have to make sure I'm not dreaming every time I wake up, yes."

"Yo-you... Nevermind. So, how we gonna find the gems?"

"Wait, you can't?"

"No! I thought you had a way!"

"How am I supposed to have a way?!"

"Well I don't know! Ugh, I guess we came out here for nothing!"

"Nah, let's just go back and ask the dogs for a few gems."

"...You make the most terrible plans ever." I made my way back to the fighting. Fang had already dispatched 2 and was currently fending off the other 3. He was on the defensive though, so it was obvious this would go south fast. I put Spike down, then I crept up and smacked one of them in the back of the head with my axe, instantly knocking him out. Then Fang caught the last one and I grabbed him by the scruff of his neck.

"So, do you wanna give me some gems now?" I asked. It was the pug.

"YES! YES! I WILL GIVE YOU GEMS! PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!"

"Don't worry, I won't kill you. I don't think any of your friends are dead either. I just wanted two gems, and no trouble. I'm sorry this happened."

"Y-YOU WON'T KILL ME?"

"No, I didn't even want to fight you."

"Y... you didn't?"

"No. You're a little slow aren't you? Look, can you just get me two gems please? I'll leave you alone then." He nodded vigerously. I released him and he took off into a hole a few feet away.

"You know he's not comi--" Spike started.

"Wait for it...." Two gems shot up from the hole. One large ruby and one large sapphire. "Ha! Told ya!"

"B-but... wh-why? H-how... you know what, just grab the gems and let's go..." Spike said.

"Umm... ok, do you wanna walk or ride my back on the way back?"

"... Ride your back?"

"Good choice!" I scooped him and the gems up and shifted him over to my back. "To town!" I started running back to Ponyville, Fang by my side like always.

I had shrank considerably on the way back, and Spike ended up helping me carry the axe to the library.

"Wow, I hope these gems are worth what you go through to get them!" I exclaimed wearily as we reached the library. My voice was that of a 10 year old. I knocked on the door.

"Who is it?" Fluttershy called.

"It's me Sharky!"

"You don't sound like Sharky..." She opened the door.

"Yeah, I was absorbing Spike's magic an--"

"OH MY GOSH YOU'RE ADORABLE!!" She scooped me up and cradled me.

"Well... this is backwards..." I muttered. She squealed and started showering my face with little kisses. "Eh? Fluttershy!? Stop! Stop stop stop! What are you doing?" I squealed. Fluttershy squeed and kissed faster. I rolled out of her grip and onto the floor. "No! Stop! I'm not a baby! Knock it off!"

"Oh! Sorry Sharky.... You're just... SOOO CUTEEE!!!" She tried to scoop me up again, but I jumped out of the way.

"NO! Don't! Please stop?!" She just squealed and kept chasing me as I dodged around the tree. Then Twilight showed up.

"What's with all the... OH MY GOSH HE'S ADORABLE!!" Twilight grabbed me with her aura and brought me to her where I was showered with kisses again.

"ALRIGHT, THAT'S IT!" I started expelling the magic as quickly as possible. I grew rapidly, and in the course of 5 minutes I had sucessfully rid myself of Spike's magic. I grabbed Twilight and Fluttershy and held them off the ground. "NEVER AGAIN."

"Aww... ruin it why don't you..." Twilight grumbled.

"Yeah, well you ruined my gem breakfast! Now I don't have enough time to re-absorb Spike's magic! Gah, whatever. I'm off to work. Bye!" I put my axe back in it's corner and took off.

"... Did he just say gem breakfast?"

"Hi Mr. Cake!" I called as I walked in. He turned from the counter.

"OH! Sharky! You're early!"

"Yeah, we gonna get to work.... What's up with all the decorations?"

"Yeah... uhh... Sharky, we finished all our backed up orders yesterday. Pinkie Pie was supposed to go and tell you not to come to work today..."

"S-s-so... I-I'm just no g-good anymore?"

"No! It's not like that! It's just--"

"No, no, I understand... It's ok Mr. Cake... Bye..." I slowly trudged out of Sugarcube Corner.

"We... were gonna throw you a 'thank you' party..." Mr. Cake finished to himself.

"Hi RD..." I muttered as I walked into Scootaloo's room. Rd was still in bed curled around Scootaloo. I sat down on the floor next to the bed.

"Hi Sharky. Thank you."

"What for?"

"Saving Scoots."

"No need to thank me... anypony else would've done the same thing... They woulda done it better too..."

"Yeah, I don't know about better, but they would've tried too. What matters though, is they didn't."

"Well no... but I'm nothing special..."

"What's wrong? You're bein' awfully hard on yourself..." I sighed.

"Well, I basically got fired..."

"FROM MONSTER HUNTING?!" She asked with a large amount of excitement in her voice.

"No, Sugarcube Corner..."

"What? Why?"

"They finished all the extra work... I'm not needed anymore..."

"Aww... I'm sorry..."

"It doesn't matter. I'll just move on I guess..."

"So... If you don't mind me asking... How much will this effect you finacially?"

"Hmm? Oh, none. I was working for free."

"Wait, so all those times you used work as an excuse to get away... you were really just--"

"Trying to help the Cakes catch up on orders? Yeah."

"... Oh... Well..."

"What's gonna happen to Scootaloo?"

"... I don't know."

"I'm not letting her go back to wherever she was before."

"The treehouse?"

"No, whatever orphanage she was at before this. Obviously they don't do a good enough job."

"Yeah, you're right. I don't want her to go either.... She already almost left me once..."

"... I didn't know you cared for her so much."

"To be honest, I'm suprising myself..."

"I think it's awesome that you care about somepony this much."

"Y-you do?"

"Yeah. It's the same way I care about Unity."

"Well... What if I cared about somepony else just as much, but in a different way?"

"Oh, I know you and your friends are really close too."

"..."

"...So, what do we do with Scootaloo?"

"...I don't know."

"Well, I wouldn't mind adopting her too!"

"No, you've got your hooves full with Unity and Fang alone..."

"That doesn't mean I can't try!"

"Yes it does! You may be... well you Sharky, but even you can only do so much!"

"Well I haven't hit my limit yet!"

"WELL YOU'RE GOING TO! I DON'T WANT YOU TO END UP DEAD!"

"... Where did that come from?"

"... Nowhere."

"I worry you too, don't I?"

"... Maybe a little..."

"*sigh* Look, I'm sorry. But it's like you said, I do what I do to protect you ponies."

"... doesn't mean you need to do it so often..."

"... I don't like this discussion."

"Me either..."

"So, how's Scoots?"

"She still hasn't woken up..."

"Well... just give her time... I've got to go. I need to get to my son."

"Goodbye..." I got up and left the room. "... Focus Rainbow! Scoots is priority now! Yet..."

"Hey guys, I'm back." I said sadly as I walked into the library.

"Hi Sharky! Err... Not that I'm not glad to see you back, but why are you back so early?" Twilight asked.

"I got fired..."

"FROM MONSTER HUNTING?!" Both Twilight and Fluttershy asked at the same time. Why do they think that right away?

"No, Sugarcube Corner... Thanks for the confidence in my fighting skills though..."

"Sorry Sharky... We don't doubt you... We just don't like you having that job... if that's alright..."

"Well... it does make me feel a little better, but I'm not quitting Monster hunting. I don't plan on doing bad enough to get fired either."

"... Well darn..."

"Well, you wanna help us take care of Unity now?" Twilight asked.

"Yeah, I'd like that." Then I spent the rest of my day playing with Unity. He's an oddly easy to care for baby! Just feed him 3 times, burp him, and play with him. Oh, then also deal with the chaos magic, but that's more fun than anything. He turned the stairs into a slide, made Spike breathe Icees, made Fang's teeth chatter unstoppably, and made Twilight and Fluttershy D'awww a lot. Not sure that last one had anything to do with magic though. I didn't even realize how long I had been with him! Just when it got late, him and Spike just fell asleep out of nowhere. I was a little upset that I didn't get to play with him anymore, but I put him and Spike to bed anyway. I walked back downstairs and sat down next to the girls. We hadn't spoken all day. Well, they'd tried to speak to me, but I had shrugged them off.

"... Sharky... Are you ok?" Fluttershy asked.

"... Yeah... It was just nice to be needed I guess."

"... You're still needed..." I shook my head.

"No, I'm not. You guys don't depend on me for anything."

"... Well maybe we don't... But Unity does..."

"If I were gone you girls would take care of him right?"

"SHARKY?! Why would you ask something like that?!" Twilight yelled.

"Well, there's every possibility that I may not come back here from a mission one day. I wanna know he'll be taken care of if I die."

"S-sharky... D-d-don't talk l-like that!" Fluttershy scolded.

"As much as you may not like it, it's the truth. I need to know girls."

"S-sharky d--

"NO. Tell me I can depend on you! Please..."

"... I'll take care of him Sharky..." Twilight offered.

"... I-I w-w-will t-t-too..."

"Good. Thank you girls. I'm sorry I had to ask that. I know that's a lot to ask of my friends..."

"Oh, no, it's not to big to ask me at all..."

"M-m-me e-e-either..."

"... You girls are the best..." I pulled them both into a hug. They hugged me back.

"J-j-just d-don't t-talk about y-you d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d--"

"I won't Fluttershy..."

"G-g-good."

"I love it here, you guys know that?"

"You mean Equestria, the library, or hugging us?" Twilight asked.

"... Yes."

"... Thanks for taking me home Sharky..."

"No problem. Hey, do you mind if I try and find somepony to get a house order set up?"

"Y-you want to get your own house? Twilight's not gonna like that..."

"No, not for me, for Blaze. Wait, why would Twilight care?"

"Oh! Umm that's awfully nice of you..."

"... Riiight. Well, it's the least I can do for him. I feel like I need to make up for the fact that I was sent to kill him." I walked into the market section of the town. It was still going suprisingly strong. "So, uhh... which stall would I go to for a house?" Then, the maroon news pony popped up a few stalls away. She looked around me, scanning for Fang I guess. (who I had left at the library.) Then she flashed me an evil grin and whistled for the news crew. "Crap, let's go Fluttershy!"

"But we just got here..."

"Yeah, and now we're just leaving. Come on!" I grabbed her and took off running, easily outpacing the news crew. I kept running and didn't stop all the way to Fluttershy's house. Which of course meant I was gasping for breath when I got there.

"What happened back there?"

"News crew. *gasp* Annoying. *gasp*"

"Umm... ok then... Well it's awfully dark now... you should stay with me." I looked around, and she was right. It was pitch black now. The clouds made it even darker.

"Y-you're r-right Fluttershy... T-thanks for being so understanding... but you're taking the bed."

"No."

"DANG IT! Fine, we'll share again."

"That... s-sounds nice..." Then something occured to Fluttershy. It was dark, he couldn't run off alone. She grinned as she remembered the promise.

Dreamer

"So... S-sharky?"

"Yes Fluttershy?"

"D-d-do y-you reme--"

"Ugh! Why are you always so scared of me?!"

"N-no! I'm not s-s-scared!"

"Then why do you stutter so much when you're alone with me?!"

"B-because y-you m-m-make me n-nervous..."

"Because I scare you?"

"N-n-no!"

"Then why?"

"I... I'm n-not allowed t-t-to tell you..."

"Well why not?!"

"T-the rules..."

"Ugh, what rules?!"

"... I c-can't t-tell y-you..."

"You know what? Forget it. I'm tired. Let's just go to bed."

"... Yeah... W-wait! Do you r-r-remember the p-p-p-promise?"

"The one where you'll take care of Unity if I die?"

"N-no! I t-t-told you n-not to talk about t-t-that!"

"The one where I take good care of Fang?"

"S-still n-not sure t-that was even a p-p-promise..."

"The one where I promised to stay safe?"

"Still n-no."

"The promise where I get Blaze a place to stay? Because those paparrazzi would never have let me place an order without bugging me."

"NO! Wait, y-you had p-p-paparrazzi after you?"

"Yeah, they were the annoying news crew remember? I guess they're trying to interview me because I killed a manticore and saved Scootaloo and I'm a monster hunter and stuff. They also asked about my relationship with you guys, but I don't think they believed we were all just friends."

"... Friends..."

"So, what promise were you talking about?"

"Oh... Nevermind... it doesn't m-matter right now..."

"Umm... ok. Well, let's get some sleep huh?"

"That... sounds n-nice." We both went up to Fluttershy's bedroom and crawled into bed. We were facing each other again, and her emerald eyes held me mesmerized. I wished it was possible for any of the girls to be more than friends with me. That's the one thing I didn't like about Equestria. Nopony would ever like me. I sighed sadly and tried to get some sleep. Oddly enough, Fluttershy's gaze felt comforting. I slowly drifted into sleep with the image of those eyes in my mind.

As soon as Fluttershy was sure Sharky was asleep, she slipped out of the bed and ran outside. She didn't want to leave him, but she couldn't stand not knowing whether or not she could ever be more than friends with Sharky. She flew to Twilight's library. The lights were still on, so she knocked on the door.

"Twilight! Come on!"

"What?! Sharky are you back?"

"What? No! It's Fluttershy!"

"Oh..." Twilight opened the door. "Hi Fluttershy! Have you seen Sharky?"

"YES! He's back at my house! He's asleep and Fang isn't there to stop you from reading his mind!"

"REALLY!? Well let's go!"

*EHM* Both the girls looked up, and Stormy was flying just over them.

"Oh! Hi Stormy... How much of that did you hear?" Fluttershy asked.

"Oh, just all of it."

"... Are you going to tell Sharky?"

"Yes." Twilight tried to hit him with a blast of memory-erasing magic, but Stormy rolled to the side. "Then again... I do still owe him for leaving me at Canterlot... Go ahead with your sneaky little plan." He grinned and took off.

"Huh... well let's go I guess." Twilight and Fluttershy took off towards Fluttershy's house.

Twilight and Fluttershy ran back to Fluttershy's house. To their relief, Sharky was still asleep in the bed.

"Finally! Now we get to know the truth...." Twilight cheered. She readied the magic, and touched her horn to Sharky's head.

"Here we go!" Twilight shouted happily. Instead of being in black space like in Unity's mind, Twilight was inside her library. "Wait, why am I here? I thought I was supposed to be in Sharky's mind..."

"You ARE in my mind!" I cheered happily behind her.

"S-s-sharky?! What are YOU doing here!?"

"Well duh, this is MY mind. I swear, it's like you didn't expect me to be here!"

"I-I didn't! A-are you m-mad?"

"Why would I be mad?"

"Because I'm in your mind..."

"Well duh, I dreamed you didn't I?"

"Uhh... yes! You dreamed me!"

"... You are a master of the obvious."

"Right... so, I wanna see what you think of me." She tried to command forth images like she had with Unity. Nothing happened.

"You wanna see? Well why don't you just ask me to tell you!? I don't know how I'd SHOW you that."

"Oh... right... well what do you think of me?"

"Well shouldn't you know?"

"No, she wouldn't! No one knows what we think!" Steven yelled.

"W-who is that?! He looks just like you!" Twilight exclaimed.

"Oh him? That's just Steven."

"Who's Steven? Also, why is he crying so much?" Steven had tears running down his face like rivers.

"Steven is me. He's just... me before I met you girls..."

"Why is he so sad?"

"Long story. Besides, it's too sad for ponies like you."

"Well why aren't you sad too? Aren't you the same person?"

"Well yeah, but you girls made me so happy, that I pushed my sadness away."

"Yeah, lucky bastard. His sadness became me..."

"You know, you seem different from normal Dream Twilight..."

"... Ok, slow down... So, there are TWO Sharkys in your head?"

"Well no. There's a Sharky, then there's a Steven. Two different things."

"... But you're the same person."

"Yes."

"Oh my gosh this is confusing... Wait, this isn't even what I came here for!"

"Well then deal with it!" Steven shouted.

"Sorry, he's a little rude. What did you want?"

"To know if we can ever be more than friends to you."

"... BWAHAHAHA!!! Wow! That IS a question only dream Twilight would ask!"

"... oh..."

"Wow! Ha. I wish, but you guys are so different from me, you'd never like me!"

"WHAT?! YOU DO!?!"

"Well duh, what brony wouldn't?"

"THIS IS THE BEST NE-- ... wait, what's a brony?"

"It's a guy that likes MLP:FiM. Huh, you'd think that since you're part of my dream you'd know what I know already."

"... What's MLP:FiM?"

"Hi Sharky! I'm back!" Twilight watched herself walk into the library. Sharky smiled at the second Twilight.

"Hi Twilight!" He turned back to Real Twilight and smiled at her. Then he frowned and started looking back and forth at the both of them. "D... did I dream TWO Twilights? Huh, this is a new dream... Then again I guess it already was different to begin with..." While Sharky continued mumbling to himself about previous dreams, Twilight decided it was time to leave. "I hope this isn't like the wet-mane Twilight dream... I already feel bad about that..." Twilight froze.

"What is the wet-mane me dream?"

"Oh... you know..." He blushed. "Stuff..."

"What stuff?"

"Oh for the love of-- HE F***S YOU!" Steven yelled.

"STEVEN! That was uncalled for! Back to your corner!" Sharky yelled. Steven grumbled and left.

"Wait, so you'll... do that to me in your dreams, but you barely even touch me when you're awake?!"

"What? NO! God no! I would never try a thing like that on any of the REAL girls... One, it would ruin our friendship if I told any of them I like them. Two, none of them like me like that! Three, even if the other two were proven wrong, I'm abstinent! I'd have to marry them to do that!" Sharky pointed to Dream Twilight, and she had a diamond earring on. "Wait a minute... Why are you asking this? Usually you read or do experiments in my dreams..."

"Uhh... No reason..." Twilight trotted over to her dream self. "D... does he really DO that?" Dream Twilight smiled and nodded. "Well... Uhh... What... What's it like?"

"Why don't you head back and find out yourself?" Dream Twilight's horn glowed and Twilight was thrown into reality.

"Uhhh..."

"Twilight! You're back! Did you find anything out?!"

"Hmm? Oh! Yes! He want's us to like him!!"

"REALLY!?!"

"Yes! He just doesn't think we do!"

"WHAT?! How o Equestria does he not know?!"

"I don't know... but that's not all I heard..."

"What else was there?"

"Well... he REALLY likes me..."

"What do you mean?"

"Fluttershy... he... umm... has... you know... with me in his dreams..."

"He WHAT?! What about me?!"

"I... didn't ask. I doubt it though. He said he felt really bad about the dream with me alone."

"Oh... well... I guess that makes sense... What do we do now?"

"Well... I don't know... I'm happy he likes us... but I'm not sure what to think about his dreams..."

"Isn't it a good thing for you?"

"Well... I... don't know... I'm not sure what to think about him thinking of me like that..."

"... I guess I see your point... Well... we should... definately not tell him we know this..."

"Agreed. Well... I'm gonna go back home... I... need to think..."

"Ok, bye Twilight..." Twilight turned and left the house. Fluttershy watched her leave and smiled.

"... HE LIKES US!" She cheered as Twilight left. She hopped back into the bed with Sharky and snuggled up against him.

Friday, January 9th

"Goddamn wiggling!" I woke up to find that Fluttershy had curled up against me. One of her wings was standing straight up in my face. I knew one of my wings would be standing too.

"What's wrong?" Fluttershy asked.

"OH! YOU'RE AWAKE! Uhh... It's nothing!"

"It doesn't FEEL like nothing..."

"OH MY GOSH I'M SO SORRY!" I jumped out of the bed and my other wing popped out. Fluttershy laughed.

"Wings too huh?"

"I'M SO SORRY! I'LL LEAVE NOW!" I jumped out the nearest window and took off. It was considerably harder to fly with my wings like this, but I managed. I flew about halfway back to town, but then my wings became too small to fly with. I ran the rest of the way back to the library. I knocked on the door.

"Who is it?" Twilight called.

"It's Sharky! Please let me in."

"OH! Oh... Uh... ok!" Twilight opened the door, but her eyes were hidden behind her bangs.

"Twilight? Why are you acting like you're scared of me?"

"Oh! I'm not scared!"

"... riiiight... Well, I'm gonna take a shower and then play with Unity ok?"

" "Yeah... ok..." She still didn't look at me. I walked in and went to take my shower. I stood in the cold water and let my brain just stop. I was tired of dealing with these girls' confusing behavior. At least Fang was always the same. Unity went through less of my nerves than them. I sighed. It was worth it though. I stepped out of the shower and put on a new set of clothes from the giftbox Luna gave me.

"Hey Twilight, where can I wash my clothes?"

"Oh, I usually just use a spell for that..." She still wouldn't look at me.

"Oh, ok. Would you mind helping me then? I just need these old clothes cleaned."

"Sure..." She hit the clothes with a blast of magic, and all the dried sap, Timber Wolf saliva, and assorted flour and icing spots disappeared.

"Thanks... What's wrong? Why won't you look at me?"

"... No reason..."

"Don't lie to me. You're acting like Fluttershy normally does..."

"... Did you have a strange dream last night?"

"Huh? I don't know. I hardly ever remember my dreams. What does that have to do with anything?"

"It doesn't matter I guess... Sharky, what do you think of me?"

"I think you're smart, and really nice. You get mad really easy though. You're also a better friend than almost anybody on my old planet."

"Are you sure you think of me as a friend?"

"One of the best!"

"... Right... Well, you should get to taking care of Unity..."

"You're right. Well thanks for not acting like you're scared of me anymore."

"You... You're welcome."

"Hey... UNITY IS GONE!!!" I looked around frantically. Then I got an idea. I reached down into the bed, and sure enough my hand made contact with a body. "Oh, nevermind, he was invisible..." I picked up the body, and Unity became visible again. I walked back downstairs and made him his usual bottle. He drank the bottle again, and the milk remained solid when I grabbed it. "Uh oh..."

"What's wrong?"

"I've got possibly explosive milk..."

"... What?"

"You know what? Nevermind. I'm going outside." I walked outside, and ran away from the library. When I was far enough away, I threw the milk. It hit the ground, and a HUGE tree grew very quickly where it hit the ground. "Huh, not what I expected... why's the tree gray?" I walked up to the full-grown tree which was rapidly turning gray. I touched it, and it was cold and rough like stone. I grinned. "Blaze I've got your house!"

Ringtone

"TWILIGHT! I GOT BLAZE'S HOUSE!" I yelled as I got back to the library.

"What? What are you talking about!?"

"Do you know a spell to shape stone?" I ran inside and found Twilight reading.

"Well yes, why?"

"Because I have a giant stone tree and I need to make it into a house for a dragon-pony."

"... Do you purposely not make sense, or does it just happen?"

"What? Just happens I guess, look, I need to absorb your magic and shape the stone tree ok?"

"... I have no idea what you're talking about, but sure."

"Ok!" I sat down next to Twilight. She hesitated for a minute, but then she crawled into my lap. "... I'm pretty sure we don't have to sit like this..."

"Just stop talking..."

"..."

"Ok, are you sure it's safe for me to do this?"

"No! You're the one that insisted on doing it!"

"... Fair point. Here I go! Just imagine what I want it to look like?"

"Yes, but you really sh--" I focused my magic on making the stone tree into a copy of Twilight's library. The tree didn't change much at first, but then it slowly started forming to meet the image in my head. The door popped up, and the windows and balcony came into existence as well. I couldn't see the inside, but I assume it was moving to meet my designs as well. "Wow! You're really doing it!"

"Yeah... Yeah I am..." I finished the spell, then fell over.

"Sharky?!"

"Hmm? Mom?"

"... No." Twilight sighed. "That spell took more than I thought it would... Let's get you home."

"But I still have school left..."

"Just go to sleep." Twilight lifted me with her aura and brought me back to the library. I fell asleep with no problems.

"Huh? What happened?"

"You over did it with a spell and fell asleep."

"Oh... was it worth it?"

"You... are entertaining." I stood up and stretched. I had been in Twilight's bed. I swooned and sat back down.

"Whew! Well, that was... tiring." Then I had a thought. "Hey Twilight. Do you wanna go to dinner?"

"WHAT?! IS THIS REALLY HAPPENING?!"

"Yeah, I wanna take all my friends out! I had lotsa fun with RD. Now I wanna take you and the other out too!"

"So... dinner as friends."

"Yeah."

"... Sounds great. Why are you asking now?"

"Because I'm too tired to run off and do something crazy. Is that ok?"

"..."

"So, how'd the house turn out?"

"Really good actually! You didn't put hinges on the door though, so I don't know about the inside."

"Darn, knew I forgot something. Why are you in the bed?"

"Uhh... Sleepy. I stayed up really late last night."

"Oh, sorry. I'll just go lay down next to the bookcases then."

"No no, it's ok. You're keeping me warm."

"Oh, I'll stay then." I slipped back under the blanket. Twilight and I were spooning again, but I was WAY too tired for it to bother me. "So, what do you wanna do before dinner? I took RD to a Wonderbolt's show and met Daring Do, so I'm sure I can find a way to do something cool for you too."

"You did what? You know what? Never mind. I... don't know... what do you wanna do?" I gave her a huge grin.

"I know exactly what I want!"

"Wow! I've never gotten to do that with anypony before!" Twilight said contentedly.

"Yeah, me either. I gotta say, I never pictured doing it with a pony either."

"Ha yeah, I didn't think you were ever gonna do this!"

"Well, I did. That was a lot of fun Twilight!"

"Yeah, yeah it was!"

"How many times did you finish?"

"5. How about you?"

"Ah man, only 4! I guess that makes you the faster reader!"

"Ha, I guess I am!"

"I love reading, don't you?"

"Yeah! I never thought anypony would be willing to just sit with me and read for so long!"

"That was perfect..."

"Yeah! Sorry I had to stop to feed Unity those couple times."

"Oh, it's no bother. I had fun nontheless!"

"So, what should we do now?"

"Hmmm... Well, if you don't mind, I'd like to try some spells on you!"

"Sure!"

"... Just sure? No questions about what's gonna happen? You aren't even gonna ask what spells I'm gonna use?"

"Nope."

"... I should be concerned." Twilight muttered quietly.

"Eh maybe. Now, What spell do we try first?"

"Wow, you're enthusiastic. Huh... well... you'll see. Here we go!" Twilight's horn glowed, and I was hit with a blast of magic. "Now, how do you feel?"

"... Small." I was now at eye level with Twilight's hooves. I tried to lift my arms, but they turned out to be small paws. "... Am I a mouse?"

"Yes! Transmogrification works on you!"

"SWEET! WHERE'S MY CHEESE??"

"... You are so much fun! Spike freaks out when I try this stuff on him!"

"WHAT?! WHY?! THIS IS AWESOME!" I started running around as fast as I could. Then Fang came in. "Oh crap..." Fang started eyeing me hungrily. "Twilight.... CHANGE ME BACK CHANGE ME BACK CHANGE ME BACK NOW!" Fang leapt at me and I scampered away. Twilight hit me with magic again, and I changed back to full size. Fang gave me a really confused look and whimpered a little.

"See? Told you wolves are dangerous."

"Yeah, WHEN I'M A MOUSE! Anyway, what spell are we doing next?"

"You want MORE?!"

"YEAH! That was AWESOME!"

"... Okaaayyy. Well how about this one?" She hit me with another blast of magic, and all of the sudden my chest felt way heavier.

"What... was that one?" My voice sounded lighter and higher pitched.

"Oh! So that's what human females look like!" I looked down, and saw exposed breasts. I immediately covered my chest.

"Umm... akward... Can you change me back?"

"Oh, sure." She hit me with another blast of magic. I felt my chest get lighter and my *ehm* grow back.

"Whew, thanks. Got any more?"

"Just one more, I've actually been looking forward to this one!"

"... Should that scare me or should I be happy?"

"... Yes." She used magic again, but this time the bolt flew in a big 'U' and hit her.

"Whoa! What was that?!"

"Do you feel any different?"

"... Not really. Why would I? You hit yourself!" Then I started actually looking at Twilight. "Wow... you're really pretty today... Wait! What am I saying?" I reached towards Twilight, but my other hand stopped it. "What the hell?! I want to have her! No I don't! Gaaaahhh! What did you do? The question is what will I do.... No it isn't!"

"What... the... Huh, it seems the spell only effected half of you..."

"I want to touch you! No I don't! Ignore me! Come to me! Be mine!" Twilight grinned.

"... Yes..." She whispered silently. She made a mental note to remember this spell. She cancelled out the magic.

"Ah... ha... ha... Sorry Twilight... I don't know what came over me!"

"That was the 'want it need it spell'. Apparently it only effects half your mind."

"Oh yeah! I remember that one!"

"What? How do you know that spell?"

"Oh... uh... I read it in one of the books!"

"Really? Which one?"

"I uhh... Don't remember the name..."

"Are you sure? It was only in one of my books, and it has a really memorable name..."

"Uhh...--" RD burst into the library.

"SHARKY!! SCOOTALOO IS WAKING UP!"

"OH THANK CELESTIA A DISTRACTION! I'M ON MY WAY!" I took off running out of the library. Twilight and I had been reading all day, so it was mostly dark out. I followed RD, but she was flying so she easily outdistanced me. Fang was by my side again. What a good pet. I made it into the hospital, but Fang stayed behind. "THERE IS NO PASSWORD!" I yelled as I passed a few nurses. A few of them grinned at me, other just looked confused. I burst into Scootaloo's room. RD and I were the only ones there. Scootaloo was wiggling around on the bed, but she didn't appear to be awake yet.

"Come here! She's about to wake up!" I moved to RD's side and crouched at the edge of Scootaloo's bed.

"Oh really? I couldn't tell."

"... Smart flank today, aren't you?"

"A little. So, what are we gonna do with her?"

"I... I want to adopt her..."

"RD?! You want to adopt her?!"

"Yes... Wait, is there something wrong with that?!"

"YES! You can't cook much, Scootaloo could never fly all the way to your cloud house, and you're going to join the wonderbolts soon! You'll be too busy to take care of her!"

"... How did you know Scootaloo can't fly well?"

"Uhh... I was... GUESSING! Yeah, her wings are very small! I didn't think they were strong enough for the flight!"

"Well, I guess that makes sense. You're really smart."

"Anyway, what about my other points?"

"Well... I'll learn to cook, I'll carry Scootaloo to the house, and... Scootaloo... is more important than the Wonderbolts will ever be..."

"RD... You'd give up your dreams for her?"

"... Yes, I would..."

"Welcome to being a parent!" I joked. I patted her on the back and she smiled at me.

"Yeah... Besides, I'm sure you'd help me whenever I needed it right?"

"Of course! That's what friends are for!"

"Isn't that what dads are for?"

"Well, yeah I guess. Why, got a stallion waiting for ya?" I winked and nudged her with my elbow.

"... You did not just say that."

"Yeah, I did. Why? Was I right?" She punched me in the chest with her forehoof.

"No. You were not right at all."

"R... Rainbow D-dash?" Scootaloo mumbled wearily. RD pushed me over and I fell onto the floor. I tried to ask why, but she shoved her hoof in my mouth. (Tasted like apples for some reason.) She looked at me and moved her head towards Scootaloo. I nodded in understanding.

"Yeah Scoots, it's me."

"W-where am I?"

"You're in the hospital... You almost died from the cold 3 nights ago..."

"I... I what? I've b-been here for t-three days? H-how did I almost die?!" Her voice was still weak.

"You got really cold really fast. I'm not sure how it works exactly, but it would've killed you if somepony hadn't saved you." I rolled my eyes. You think a weather pony would know about hypothermia.

"S-somepony saved me? I bet it was you... r-right?"

"No, no it wasn't me. I didn't even know you were in trouble... sadly. It was my new friend."

"The one you told me b-beat you in a race? I s-still don't think he's real..."

"Actually I'm very real."

"What?! Who's there?"

"That was my friend."

"W-where is he?"

"Laying on the ground. Now, you can see him, but you have to promise not to scream or freak out ok?"

"Why w-would I do that?"

"He.. looks different from everypony else..."

"W-why does t-that matter?"

"He just... may look a little scary at first."

"Ok Rainbow D-dash. I promise." RD waved to me, and I rose off the ground mummy-style so that Scootaloo could only see my upper body. "Hey y-your that thing Sweetiebelle told me about!"

"Thing? I'm a human. My name is Sharky White."

"Oh, s-sorry. Didn't mean to hurt your feelings..."

"Oh don't worry, I wasn't really offended."

"So... you saved my life? You beat Rainbow in a RACE!? Are you a superhero?"

"BWAHAHAHAHA! No, I'm HA not a superhero! Far from it!"

"Oh don't be so modest Sharky! He fights monsters, AND he got me a position on the WONDERBOLTS! He's awesome."

"Wow! If Rainbow says your awesome it must be true!"

"Yes... well... I'm nothing special really... Anyway, Scootaloo, you can't sleep in that treehouse anymore." Scootaloo's eyes filled with genuine fear.

"N-n-no! I'm n-not going b-back to the orphanage! It was... terrible..."

"No no sweetie, nothing like that!" I cooed gently. "RD here has something she wants to ask you..."

"RD?"

"My name for Rainbow Dash here." I explained. Scootaloo's eyes turned to RD.

"Y-yes?"

"Scootaloo... I learned how much I really cared for you when I almost lost you. I didn't know how much I had... until you were almost gone... I don't want that to happen again... Scootaloo... I really care about you... and I want you to live with me!"

"Y-Y-Y-Y-YOU WANT W-WHAT?!?!?"

*HAAAAAAALLELUJAH!!!*

"What the crap?" I asked. The girls both looked around rapidly.

*HAAAAAAALLELUJAH!!!* I noticed the noise was coming from my pocket.

*HAAAAAAALLELUJAH!!!*

"Huh, I guess I have a call!" I pulled my iPhone out of my pocket, and sure enough Luna was calling me.

"Hi Luna! What's up?"

"Umm? The sky? Why art thou asking simple questions?"

"Nevermind, why did you call?"

"We have thine next mission!"

"Really? What am I hunting this time?"

"... Are there others in the room with thou?"

"Yes."

"Leave, and we will tell you." I nodded to the girls, and left the room.

"Ok, I'm alone. What's the target?"

"An Ursa Minor."

Ursa

"So, girls... I have to leave." I stated simply as I walked back into the hospital room.

"Oh no! You're not leaving me again!"

"What was that thing that made the loud song noise?" Scootaloo asked.

"Look, I have to go RD! Luna gave me an hour before she teleports me to Canterlot! Oh, and this is an iPhone Scootaloo. It lets Luna call me whenever she needs me."

"I don't care who asked you to go! What did she send you after this time?!" RD spat back at me.

"Wow! Princess Luna calls for you!? That's really cool! Why?"

"It's... nothing important... And Luna calls me to hunt monsters Scootaloo." I dodged RD's question, but at least I could answer Scootaloo.

"Sharky! Answer my question!"

"Oh my gosh! You hunt monsters? You must be really strong!"

"No! I won't tell you I'm fighting an Ursa minor! ... Crud. BYE!" I took off out of the hospital. I whistled for Fang as I ran out of the building. We both took off towards the library, but even behind me I could hear RD's scream through the building.

"WHAT?!?!?" I shuddered and ran faster. I nearly broke down the door to the library in my haste.

"TWILIGHT I'VE GOT ANOTHER MISSION I'M TAKING MY AXE BYE!!!" I yelled as I darted forward and grabbed the axe from the corner.

"YOU'VE GOT A WHAT?!" Twilight yelled at me from her bedroom as I ran outside. I took off towards the farm. I got there after a few minutes of running, and I made my way to AJ's house. I knocked on the door, and AJ opened it. She smiled at me, then frowned and hit me in the stomach.

"OOF! Nice to see you too Applejack!"

"Ya lied to me! Shadow wasn't in town! He was still workin' in the orchards!"

"Huh? ... Oh yeah. Well, it's not like you don't work just as hard right?"

"Well Ah... Now that's... Darn. Ya got me there. What did ya need?"

"Actually, I need to see Shadow! I've got another mission, and I need a few health potions."

"Hm... Well, he's in his room, finally gettin' some shuteye. I doubt he's asleep though, still trying to plot ways to get back ta work Ah'm sure." She pointed me towards Shadow's room, and I nodded before taking off towards it. I knocked.

"ALRIGHT! I'll get some sleep geez..."

"Actually it's me. Sharky!"

"Really?!" The door was flung open and Shadow hugged me. "Geez I haven't seen you in forever buddy!"

"Yeah, we should really establish some time to hang out or something... anyway, look. I've got a new mission. I need a few health potions, just in case ok?"

"Ah! I have just what you need!" He trotted over to a little table covered in test tubes and vials of assorted liquids. He picked up a blue one and a silver one. "Here! One health potion!" He hoofed me the blue vial. I put it in my coin bag. "And uhh... to be honest, I've got no idea what this one will do! I made it while I was half asleep. I figure it'd be better for you to test on a monster than a pony." He hoofed me the silver vial. I took the second one more reluctantly.

"Thanks Shadow! You rock! Glad you live here now!"

"Yeah me too! This place is great!"

"Glad you like it! Well, I'd love to stay and talk, but I still have to say goodbye to most of my friends!" I took off out ther door. I started running towards Fluttershy's house.

"Good luck!" Shadow shouted after me.

"An' STAY SAFE!" Applejack added.

"GOD THAT RUN SUCKS!" I gasped as I came up on Fluttershy's house. I knocked on the door.

"Who is it?" Fluttershy called from inside.

"IT'S SHARKY!! I'M GOING ON ANOTHER MISSION BYE!!!"

"WHAT?!" She screamed back, but I was already gone. About halfway back to town, I noticed something following me along the forest's edge.

"COME ON OUT BLAZE!" I yelled. The dragon-pony seperated himself from the forest and ran alongside me.

"Hey Sharky! Where ya goin' in such a hurry?"

"I've got another hunting mission. I'm trying to tell all the girls before Luna teleports me away!"

"Wow another hunt? Well, good luck!" He started to drift back into the forest.

"Wait! Go talk to Twilight about your new house ok?"

"You already got it?!"

"Yeah!"

"Wow thanks! Later!"

"Later!" After Blaze left I kept running until I made it to Rarity's boutique. I knocked on the door.

"Who is it?" Rarity called from inside.

"It's me, Sharky! Side note, how'd you get your door fixed so quickly? I knocked the crud outta this thing!"

"Oh! I'll be right there dear!" I waited for a few seconds. I heard some doors shutting in the boutique, then Rarity opened the front door for me. "It was really no trouble, I simply placed an order with a repair pony before we departed to Canterlot. Before you offer, no, you may not pay me for the repairs."

"... Darn. Well, that makes sense. Hey, is Sweetiebelle here?"

"Y-you came here just to see Sweetiebelle?"

"Not completely. I need to tell you both something."

"Oh, ok then. Come inside if you will." She stepped to the side and gave an elegant wave of her hoof. I stepped inside and sat in the chair nearest to the door. "Sweetiebelle! Sharky is here and he says he wants to talk to us!"

"Coming!" Sweetiebelle called from upstairs. She trotted down the staircase and sat down in front of me. Rarity joined her after closing the door. "Hi Sharky! What did you wanna talk about?"

"Sweetiebelle, Scootaloo is awake now. You can go talk to your friend."

"SHE IS?! YAY!" Sweetiebelle out of the boutique, leaving the door wide open. Perfect.

"Scootaloo is awake? Oh, what wonderful news!"

"Yeah, yeah it is Rarity. Now I've got some bad news..."

"What is it dear? Are you and Twilight fi--"

"Fighting? No, we aren't fighting. I HAVE A NEW MISSION BYE!!!" I stood up and started running out the door, but something caught my heel. I looked down, and it was a red ribbon. "What the...?"

"OH NO! YOU AREN'T LEAVING ME THAT EASILY!!" Rarity shrieked. Dozens of ribbons started wrapping around me and pulling me into the boutique.

"GAHHH!!! RARITY! STOP!"

"NO! YOU HARDLY EVER SPEND ANY TIME WITH ME, AND NOW YOU'RE TRYING TO LEAVE AGAIN! I'M SICK OF IT!"

"ALRIGHT, I DIDN'T WANNA DO THIS!" I reached around with my axe, and shaved a few hairs off her mane.

"NO! MY MANE!" She yelled. All the ribbons dropped off of me, and I took off.

"SORRY! YELL AT ME LATER!" I started sprinting towards Sugarcube Corner to say goodbye to the last of the girls.

"Hey Sharky! Where ya goin'?" Stormy was hovering lazily above me.

"I've got a hunt! Bye!"

"Oh, ok. Bye!" He drifted away slowly. I was almost to Sugarcube Corner, when Pinkie Pie bounced up out of nowhere.

"Hi Sharky! It's nice to see you again! Sorry the Cakes fired you, the orders are all back to normal and they didn't want you working too hard for no reason. Anyway, will you come to Sugarcube Corner really quick?"

"Umm... Sure? I can't stay long though, I've got another hunt soon!"

"Ok! Follow me!" She bounced off to Sugarcube Corner. She rushed inside and closed the door behind her. I opened the door and stepped into darkness.

"Pinkie...."

"SUPRISE!" A bunch of ponies jumped out of nowhere and the lights flashed on.

"MEEP!" I squeaked. Then I disappeared in a flash of black light.

"Sharky! Welcome back to Canterlot Palace!" Luna greeted me.

"AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"

"GAH! WHY ART THOU SCREAMING?!"

"Oh, hey I'm in Canterlot. Sorry about that Luna."

"... Yes, quite. Anyway, your next mission is in the frontier town of Appleville."

"... Does the Apple family start every frontier town?"

"... Actually yes. Now, art thou prepared to hunt?"

"Actually hold on, I promised somepony I'd call her next time I had a mission." I pulled out my iPhone and hit my Daring Do button. I rang once.

"WAAGH! Sharky?! Where'd you come from?!"

"Called you. Anyway, I'm on my next hunt, wanna come?"

"Ah dangit! I'd love to, but I'm busy teaching right now... I'm in the middle of a lecture actually."

"OH! SORRY! BYE!" I hung up as fast as I could. Luna snickered. "Oh, like you've never called somepony at a bad time!"

"Thou... hath a good point." Luna shuddered. "Now, time to send thee--"

"Actually, as long as Sharky's taking guests, I'd like to come." A deep voice thundered from the other end of the room.

"Hey Steel! Long time no see!" I cheered.

"Hi Sharky. Heard you're going on a new hunt. Mind if I join?"

"Just remember it's at your own risk..." He gave a deep chuckle.

"If I had a bit for every time I was in extreme danger, I'd be one rich pony."

"Alright then. Luna, I guess this guy is coming with me!"

"... Art thou sure?"

"Eeyup!"

"If thou insists... Fare thee well Sharky!" Steel and I disappeared in a black flash.

"Whew! Teleportation is so fun!" I laughed as we arrived in the town. "So Steel, how do we track down an Ursa Minor?"

"WE'RE FIGHTING AN URSA MINOR?!?!"

"Yes, why? Tough guy suddenly scared?"

"DO YOU HAVE ANY MAGIC?!"

"No."

"WE'RE SO FUCKED!"

"What? Why?"

"DON'T YOU KNOW THE LEGENDS?"

"Noooo..." I saw a pony run screaming across a path in the distance. An Ursa Minor, even bigger than the one in the show, following close behind. "But I do know that pony is in trouble! Come on!" I charged out into the city. Ponies screamed as I ran by, but I didn't care.

"NO SHARKY! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!"

"No, I don't think you do! That pony is going to DIE! MOVE!" I charged towards the Ursa Minor, approaching his massive back right leg. "HEY! OVER HERE!" I hefted my axe, and brought it down in a mighty arc at his leg. It passed right through. "... Oh S***!" The Ursa Minor turned and growled in my face. "... MEEP!"

"So, how do you think he's doing this time?" Twilight asked.Fluttershy, Rarity, and RD had all come to her house. Scootaloo and Sweetiebelle had gone off to play.

"Oh... I'm sure he's fine..." Fluttershy mumbled.

"Yeah! Sharky is too much of a bad-flank to get beat by any monster! Right?..." RD added.

"Quite right dear. I do hope he's safe though... despite the fact that he cut my mane..."

"What I'm wondering is, why doesn't he ever bring Fang with him?" Twilight asked.

"He problably is just too thick-skulled to realize he keeps leaving him!" RD laughed. All the girls joined in for a huge giggle fest.

"Good one Rainbow Dash!" Twilight laughed. "Besides, I'm sure he's just fine. He's out there beating the tar out of some monster I'm sure..."

I may not be able to hit him, but he could sure as hell hit me! He backed handed me with a forepaw, sending straight through a solid wood wall of the nearest house.

"... ow..." I said weakly.

"Pinkie Pie? You're kicking the counter again!" Mr. Cake grumbled.

"Sorry Mr. Cake! I don't know what's going on!"

"So, what new developments have we gotten in the contest hmm?" Rarity asked. "I've gotten next to no attention from him. He WAS very appreciative of the cape I made him though."

"He gave me the best day I've ever had in my LIFE! He saved Scootaloo too! He hasn't actually gotten any closer to me I don't think though..."

"I... I haven't gotten any further with him really... but... he slept in the same bed with me..." RD and Twilight laughed.

"Trust me, that doesn't mean much!" Twilight laughed.

"Yeah, I slept with him too!" RD added.

"Wait, you've all slept with him?! No fair!" Rarity complained.

"Wait girls, I wasn't done." Fluttershy mumbled. The girls quieted down. "When we woke up, he... had a... you know..."

"HE WHAT?!?!" All the other girls yelled at the same time.

So, who here is good at art?

Fate

"Ah crap! I'm a terrible person for this..." I groaned.

"Damn right you are!" Steven yelled from the corner.

"F*** YOU STEVEN!"

"No thank you!"

"Ah dammit! I fell for it!" Fluttershy started clapping her hooves in my face. I turned to her.

"Hey, you don't need to feel bad. This is normal. Don't worry." She tilted my head up with her hoof so that I was looking into her eyes.

"Yeah, dreaming about f***ing ponies that will never love you is totally normal...." I murmered sadly.

"I do love you Sharky..."

"Yeah, in HERE... Out in the real world I'm just a freak..."

"No, no talking like that!" Fluttershy scolded softly. She pulled my chin forward and gave me a quick kiss.

"Celestia dammit I wish this would happen when I was awake..." I said as we seperated.

"Hey! At least you can enjoy anything!" Steven yelled.

"SHUT UP STEVEN!" I yelled. "Fluttershy... As much as this would be a dream... well a dream really, I can't do this..." I pushed her away from me gently. "It's not right... I shouldn't think like this..."

"I... I understand Sharky..."

"WUSS!"

"GODDAMMIT SHUT UP STEVEN!" Pain lanced through my chest as I yelled. I hissed through my teeth and fell back onto the bed.

"Oh Sharky! Are you ok?!"

I woke up again, on Fluttershy's bed. She was next to me wearing her nurse's hat. She was turned away from me, and her flank was next to my face. Celestia Dammit.

"Ok, when the fuck did this turn into Inception?!" I shouted. Fluttershy jumped in suprise. She turned around to face me.

"Oh Sharky! You're ok!" She cheered happily. She jumped at me and wrapped me in a gentle hug.

"Yeah... Am I still dreaming?"

"No... why? What did you dream about?"

"Oh, nothing important. So, how long have I been out?"

"Umm... about two days..."

"TWO DAYS?!"

Monday, January 12th (missed the date two chapters ago, sorry.)

"Y-yes. You had us all worried sick..."

"Oh... I'm sorry... I didn't even think about that..." I propped myself up on my elbows, but I immediately fell back in pain. "Oh geez! That hurts!"

"Sharky, be careful! You're going to bust the stitches!" Fluttershy gasped. I looked down at my chest, and sure enough, there were stitches running across my chest in a giant X.

"Who did this?"

"I... I stitched you up... I also disinfected the wounds, and gave you some medecine to make the pain more bearable..."

"HA! Bearable!" I laughed to myself. Fluttershy cracked a smile. "So, how did you stitch me up using hooves?"

"Practice."

"Ah, of course. Well, thanks for taking such good care of me... Wait, where's Unity?"

"Twilight has been taking good care of him." Fluttershy cooed soothingly. "Now, you should get some more rest..."

"Pfft, I'm not going back to sleep, I'm getting my ass over to Shadow so he can heal me!"

"No, no, we already tried that. He doesn't have the herbs he needs..."

"Crap..." *sigh* "Well, I guess if I'm gonna be stuck healing somewhere, the company couldn't be better at least!" I smiled at Fluttershy.

"Aww... Y-you're too s-sweet..." Fluttershy had been fine when it had been her talking to a patient, but now that she remembered she was talking to Sharky...

"Nah, doughnuts are too sweet. Hurt my teeth." I mumbled randomly.

"W-what?"

"Hmm? Oh, nothing of vast importance... So, what can I do while I'm just sitting here?"

"H-heal..."

"Ok, besides that."

"W-well... Nothing t-too strenuous... I s-suggest you t-try to sit b-b-back and relax..."

"Huh, speaking of relaxing... It's Monday isn't it? I didn't make you miss your spa day with Rarity did I?"

"N-no... She came over and h-helped me care f-for you..."

"She did? That was nice of her..."

"Y-yeah... H-hey S-sharky... d-do you remember the p-promise?"

"The one where I take good care of Fang?"

"... Y-yes... that one..." Fluttershy sighed sadly. There was no way she'd be able to get Sharky to focus on her with how shy she was... Unless... "S-stay right here Sharky... I'll b-be right back..."

"Ok, have fun..." Fluttershy trotted out of the room. She went to her kitchen and opened a cabinet. She moved the various animal foods out of the way, and reached to the very back of the cabinet. She pulled out a large bottle.

"Apple Family Special" The label read. Underneath it said, "Hard Cider" Fluttershy sighed in relief. She had decided to buy some during the last sale. She hadn't know why at the time, but now she was glad she did. She trotted back to Sharky and placed the bottle on a little table next to the bed.

"Hey, you're back. What's this?" I picked up the bottle and read the label. Fluttershy trotted back out and returned with a few large glasses.

"I t-thought w-we could h-have a drink... To... celebrate y-your victory?" She mumbled the last part like it was a question. I thought for a moment.

"Sounds legit. I think I'd rather drink to our friendship though." I poured some of the cider into the two glasses so that they were full to the brim. I lifted one glass and Fluttershy grabbed the other with her wing. So weird.

"O-ok then..."

"To Fluttershy, one of the best friends I've ever had." I raised my glass and we clinked them together.

"T-to friends..." We oth tilted our heads back and drank our cider. I could actually taste the alcohol in this drink, and Fluttershy seemed to be having a hard time drinking it all at one time. I put my hand on her shoulder to get her to stop.

"Whoa, slow down Shy. You don't need to chug it..." She lowered her glass, still half full. She saw my glass, completely empty.

"W-whoa! How d-did you drink it all already?"

"Hmm? Oh, I guess I have a higher alcohol tolerance than you ponies. I'm also skilled in the art of drinking large glasses in one breath."

"There's an a-art for that?"

"No, that would just be me being a dork."

"... Oh. Well... I n-need to finish my glass now..." She tilted her head back and managed to drink the rest.

"Wow, you just did that... Anyway, why the sudden celebration?"

"O-oh, I was just waiting until you woke u-up." Her stuttering had already significantly decreased.

"Hey, speaking of waking up, I should call Luna for my pay..."

"S-she already sent it..." Fluttershy pointed to a bag next to the bed. I leaned over to pick it up, but Fluttershy pushed me back. "No moving!" She ordered. I groaned and fell back on the bed. She picked up the pouch in her mouth, and had a little trouble lifting her head. She managed to get the pouch to me though. I reached inside, and felt paper. I pulled it out.

Dear Sharky,

Knowing that thou would insist Steel recieve half the pay, we have already given Steel his pay. This note is an order to accept the pay as well. Remember the oath!

Sincerely,

Luna

I opened the pouch wider to count the contents.

"FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUU!!!"

"Sharky? What's wrong?"

"WHAT THE HELL DO I DO WITH 7000 BITS?! I NEVER EVEN BUY ANYTHING!!"

"A-are you complaining about getting money?"

"... I guess I am. Still, what the hell do I need 7000 bits for?! Oh, maybe the Apple family could use this to expand their orchards..."

"I d-don't think the Apples will just take it... They have to feel like they earned it..."

"Do you think they'll take it for being awesome ponies?" Fluttershy gave me a 'are you serious' stare. "Guess not... Hey, where'd the Ursa go?"

"Oh, Shadow took it in. T-turns out they get along real well..."

"Really? The former Psycho-Bear now belongs to the second most docile pony I've ever met? Weird." I filled up our glasses again and threw mine back. I wasn't really effected by it, but Fluttershy seemed to be getting really hammered.

"Hey Sharky..."

"Hey! You stopped stuttering!"

"Yea... I did... Sharky, do ya remember your promise?"

"The one where I take care of Fang?"

"Nah, the New Year's promise."

"Oh that one? Geez, it feels like it has been forever since New Year's day... Anyway, yeah I remember it. Don't worry, like I said, you were drunk and it didn't matter." Fluttershy had started swaying slightly. Geez, I guess that drink was stronger than I thought.

"Nah... It matters. I wanna make good on it." With that, She moved forward, and pulled me into a kiss.

"Hmm? Twilight? Is something wrong?" Spike asked. Twilight had been sitting down with Unity reading, but all of the sudden she had sprung up and looked to be in shock.

"I... I don't know... I sense... A disturbance..." She muttered.

"FLUTTERSHY!?" I gasped in shock after she pulled away. "FUCK I'M STILL DREAMING AREN'T I?!" Fluttershy giggled drunkenly.

"You've no idea how long I've been waiting for that..." She stumbled to the side, and I reminded myself that she was drunk.

Ok, calm down. It didn't mean anything. She's drunk, she is just curious, she doesn't really like you. CALM DOWN. I thought to myself. My mind was rushing in a hundred different ways, but I knew I couldn't hold Fluttershy accountable for any of her actions while she was drunk.

"Ok, lets... never do that again."

"W-why?" She looked hurt.

"I know you were just curious, but you don't know what that does to me. Just.. please no more ok? Stifle your curiosity."

"B-but Sharky, I wasn't--" I put my finger over her lips.

"No, don't talk about it. I know it didn't mean anything to you. Anyway, I think I could get that rest now. I'm gonna sleep, and this will be a secret ok?"

"S-sharky..."

"Don't worry, I promise not to tell anypony, and I won't bring this up again, you don't need to be embarassed." With that fell back on the bed and closed my eyes. Fluttershy was going to say something, but she was too hurt by his sudden rejection. She teared up and slowly trotted away from him. At the same time, tears formed under my eyelids as I cursed fate for torturing me like this. I thought to myself until I convinced myself that it didn't matter and it was just a drunk slip. I just thought to myself until I was able to accept it as the truth I believed it to be. I honestly had to try hard not to cry. It was hard enough accepting the fact that I would never be able to have a family of wife in this world. Now fate saw fit to torture me with dreams and drunk actions of my friends. What I felt the worst about though, was that I had enjoyed the kiss. I knew it was wrong. I knew I was taking advantage of a drunk Fluttershy, but still I had allowed myself to enjoy it. I didn't even pull away, she did. I laid there and mentally beat myself up until sleep overtook me.

Tuesday, January 14th

I woke up to the light of the rising sun shining into the room. I sat up and stretched, but flinched in pain as my chest wounds reminded me of their existence. I looked down at them, and they were much better than they had been yesterday. I tried not to think about the events of the previous night. I kicked my legs over the side of the bed and stood up experimentally. I was able to stand, and my chest only gave me minor complaints. I grunted and walked around. Luckily I seemed to be able to walk now. Running might be pushing it though. I gathered up my coinbag and left Fluttershy's house. I was sorry I had to leave, but being there hurt me. I took off in a random direction, not heading towards Ponyville. I would miss my friends, but they would get over me I was sure. I regretted leaving Unity, but the life of a traveler like I intended to be would be no good for him. He'd be much better off here. Mostly I regretted leaving Fang. Without me he was a wolf among ponies. An outcast with no home. Like I was going to be. I had faith in him though. He was strong and brave, he'd figure something out. I couldn't handle the pain of being around those girls all the time. I loved them, but they could never love me back. The best thing to do was leave. I'll go somewhere where I don't know about anything. Then I'll keep going. I'll move so the pain can't keep up. It's what I convinced myself I had to do. I let a few tears fall down my face as I left it all behind.

Traveler

"Sharky? Are you awake yet?" Fluttershy trotted up to the bed. She tugged the covers off to reveal an empty bed. "Oh no! He's left again!" *sigh* "I guess I should just leave him be... He'll come back when he wants to... No, I'm gonna go get him! I need to tell him the truth! Even if I am scared..." With that, Fluttershy set out to Ponyville to see where he had gone. Little did she know that she was going the wrong way.

I had been walking for at least three hours on the edges of Everfree forest. I was trying to find a river. Forests grow around rivers, and if I were to follow a river long enough I'd reach civilization. Basic knowledge. Unfortunately, I'd yet to find a river heading out of the forest. I sighed and continued walking. I focused my thoughts on my footsteps, feeling the sensation of each step. It was the only way I could keep myself from thinking about what I was leaving behind. I found myself wishing anything would happen. I'd prefer a monster attack to this boredom any day. Then I noticed something peculiar out of the corner of my eye. It was a shadow a few feet away from me. It resembled a bird shadow, but It had upper limbs as well as legs. I looked up, and saw a gryffin.

"Leave me alone!" I called out to the flying figure. The figure faltered in flight for a moment, as if startled that I had noticed them. Then it started on a gentle fall to the ground. It landed next to me, and I jumped in suprise as I recognized Gilda.

"What are you doin' all the way out here numbskull?" She asked gruffly.

"Heh, insult me all you want, I don't care. Mind explaining why you aren't the least bit suprised to see something like me?"

"Because I keep up with the news idiot. You raced the Wonderbolts right?"

"Yeah, wow... I can't belive that made the news."

"Ha yeah! Epic way to lose lame-o!" At this, I back-handed her.

"That one was for Fluttershy." Gilda gave me a shocked look.

"D-did you just HIT me?! That's it, lets go!" She took some sort of battle stance and hissed at me.

"Bitch bring it. I hunt monsters for a living."

"Yeah right! Tough talk, let's see how you fight!" She jumped at me and I bitch-slapped her out of the air.

"Bitch please, I took on an Ursa Minor. You can't touch me. Even while I'm this injured." She was laying in a heap on the ground where she had landed. "Huh, didn't think I hit her that hard..." I crouched down next to her. One of her eyes flew open, and she scratched my face above my eye with her talons. I didn't bat an eyelash. "Do your worst. It doesn't matter."

"Y-you aren't even gonna wipe away the blood?" The blood from the cut on my head was starting to drip into my eye. I didn't care.

"No. Not worth my time. Speaking of which, neither are you." I stood up and turned away from her. She stood up and followed behind me.

"Hey! You can't just walk away from me!"

"I believe I am. Now leave me alone."

"Oh yeah? What if I stay huh?"

"I'll ignore you."

"... You know, you're a lot meaner than I thought."

"Look who's talking."

"You're kinda cool."

"Great, the almighty Gilda thinks I'm cool, now my life is complete."

"... How do you know my name?"

"RD told me." I lied.

"Who?"

"Rainbow Dash idiot."

"You know Dash?! ... Umm... How... is she doin' huh? I mean... not that I care or anything..."

"... You care about Dash?"

"What?! No! That's a stupid thing to say!"

"You know it's ok to care right?"

"Pfft! Whatever dude! I guess you aren't as cool as I thought!"

"That's ok, I don't care what you think is cool."

"... Fine, I guess I might care a little... but don't tell anypony about it. It could ruin my rep ya know?"

"Whatever."

"Hi Twilight." Fluttershy said as she trotted into Twilight's library.

"Well, come right in Fluttershy." Twilight offered sarcastically. "Aren't you supposed to be taking care of Sharky?"

"Oh... Sorry Twilight... I was taking care of Sharky, but when I woke up this morning he was gone! Have you seen him?"

"No, but it doesn't really suprise me. Knowing him, he'll show up soon with more injuries or a new friend... Maybe both."

"Well... could you check for him with a spell? It'd make me feel better..."

"Yeah, good idea Fluttershy." Twilight focused on a scry spell to locate Sharky. It took a suprisingly long time to locate him, which meant that he was near the edge of the spell range. An image of Sharky shimmered into view in the room.

"Huh, I didn't think I hit her that hard..." The girls watched as Gilda reached up and slashed him over his eye. They both gasped. "Do your worst, it doesn't matter."

"Y-you aren't even gonna wipe away the blood?"

"No, not worth my time. Speaking of which, neither are you." The girls watched Sharky stand back up and walk away from Gilda. The image distorted and faded out of view as Sharky exceeded the range of the spell.

"T-twilight! Why can't we see Sharky anymore?"

"W-well I've got longer range scrying spells, but they take time to prepare... What happened to Sharky? Why is he so far away? Better yet, why is he with GILDA?!"

"I... I d-don't know..."

"Fluttershy, what happened before he left?"

"I don't know... He must have left after I fell asleep last night..."

"Well, what happened the night before?"

"..."

"Fluttershy..."

"Nothing..."

"Tell me. Sharky could be in trouble! All the information we can get can help us!"

"I... I m-might have... k-kissed him..."

"... WHAT?!"

"So, what do you do for fun?" Gilda asked. I have no idea why she was still following me.

"Whatever the f*** I feel like doing." I'll be honest, Steven's attitude was kinda taking over here.

"Wow, you sound like my kinda... whatever you are."

"Don't associate me with you. I'm a human by the way."

"Don't care. So, you never told me where you were goin'."

"Wherever the wind takes me I guess. Just away from Ponyville."

"Dude, that's so rocker. Wanna come back to the gryffin empire with me?"

"Not interested."

"Oh come on. You're trying to get away from Ponyville, and everypony at my town bores the heck outta me. You could at least give it a shot. Will you come?" I paused for a moment. Did Gilda just ask me something... relatively nicely?

"... Do you have to fly to it?"

"Well, It's partially on the ground and the sky. Mostly the sky though."

"Well, It'll be a little while before I can fly. Maybe I'll care enough to go when I grow wings."

"Wow, you kill me with your sarcasm."

"Not sarcasm. Gimme about an hour, maybe two of you following me, and I'll have wings."

"Dude, that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard."

"Just wait."

"Well, at least you didn't win the competition..." Twilight muttered.

"What?! Yes I did! He kissed me!"

"No, you just said YOU kissed HIM. That's against the rules."

"B-b-but... no fair... Wait a minute, that doesn't matter! We need to get Sharky!"

"Oh, yes you're right! Well, there's no way for us to tell which direction he went... Let me write a letter to the Princess, I'm sure she could help!"

"Good idea Twilight! Princess Celestia could help for sure!" Twilight magically grabbed a quill and inkwell, and got to quickly writing her letter to the Princess.

"See? Told you so." Gilda was staring open-mouthed at my new eagle wings.

"H-how?"

"Magic." *Snort* *snort* (That was just for you. You know who you are.)

"Dude, you sound like a nerd."

"Well, isn't someone a walking streotype."

"What?"

"Nothing, now, which way to this 'Gryffin kingdom'?"

"Just follow the wind." Gilda leapt into the air and let a gust catch her wings.

"Ohhh I see what you did there." I jumped up and caught the same draft. We flew next to each other for awhile, coasting on the breezes. After flying for about three hours, a HUGE cloud came into view. We had reached an ocean, and over it was a gigantic cloud continent. Yeah, CONTINENT. The cloud stretched over the ocean as far as the eye could see. "Hmm, so that's the Gryffin empire?"

"Just figuring that out?" Gilda asked sarcastically. I rolled my eyes.

"You know, you'd be a lot more fun to be around if you were less of a bitch all the time."

"Eh, bite me."

"Why, you into that kind thing?" Gilda blushed and tried to smack me, but I rolled out of her reach. "Whoa, take it easy, it was a joke. Didn't expect it to be right."

"Shut up."

"Make me. Oh wait, you can't."

"... Just fly to the cloud."

"If you say so milady."

"DON'T call me that."

"Whatever milady."

"Are you trying to get on my nerves?!"

"Yes."

"F*** you."

"No thanks, we just met milady."

"DANG IT!" We landed on the continent cloud, and I got a few gasps from nearby gryffins.

"Ah, nothing makes my day more than... terrifying... a few........ strangers...." Right in the middle of my sentence, I noticed that the gryffins that had gasped were running towards me. "Huh, odd." Right before any of them could reach me though, a buch of heavily muscled gryffins in shiny silver armor came out of nowhere and surrounded me. They all had pikes pointed at me, 12 in total. "So, this is a welcome from your kind?" I asked Gilda as I swung around and kicked the talon of the nearest guard, causing him to drop his pike right into my hands. I swung it around like a Bo Staff around my front, knocking away the pikes of the guards in front of me. Then I hit the ground as the five remaining pikes behind me stabbed forward. I rolled over, pike outstretched, pulling the pikes into the cloud and lodging them there. All the guards stared at me, stunned. I looked to Gilda. "Not the best fighters huh?"

"T-they were m-my royal guards!" I frowned.

"Excuse me, did you just say royal guard?"

"Oh yea, I forgot to mention, I'm a princess..."

"... WHAT?!" I would've gotten my answer, but the gryffins that had gasped earlier had forced their way to me.

"Hey, did you really race the Wonderbolts?"

"I heard you took out a whooole forest's worth of Timber Wolves in an hour!"

"That's nothing, this guy was partying with Daring Do, right?"

"You fought the Ursa Minor right!? I'm a big fan of yours!"

"Wh-what?! How do you guys KNOW all this stuff?" I asked in suprise.

"Don'cha know? It's all over the news!"

"What news!?" One of the gryffins handed me a news paper. I read the headline. "New creature takes Equestria by storm... What the buck is that supposed to mean?!"

"It means that everypony who's anypony has heard about you!"

"Where the buck are they getting this information?! I go to nearly empty frontier towns to fight usually!"

"Luna's mission reports! Didn't you know about those?"

"..." I whipped out my iPhone and called Luna. "Luna! You tell everypony about my missions?!" Luna flinched back at my sudden outburst.

"W-we submit a report of all completed and failed missions to the press, yes."

"Why?"

"So our subjects may be aware of possible monster threats and know when areas are safe."

"Oh... Well, that makes sense. Oh, hello by the way."

"... Hello to thou as well Sharky." I heard a door burst open from Luna's side.

"Luna! Have you sent Sharky on a mission?! My student says he's gone missing!" I heard Clestia yell.

"Nonsense, we are speaking with him currently." I hung up the phone without another word.

"Ok, so where to Gilda?" I pushed my way through the growing crowd of gryffins and still-shocked guards.

"Well, first we should show you to my dad and make sure he's good with you being here."

"Who's your dad again?"

"The gryffin king."

"... Meep."

Bar

"Hey! Rainbow Dash!" Twilight called up to the cloud house.

"What? I'm trying to nap while Scootaloo is at school!"

"Have you seen Sharky since this morning? He was gone when Fluttershy woke up!"

"He was? Eh don't worry, I'm sure he's gonna be back soon!"

"Well, I searched for him with a spell, and he was almost out of my range! AND he was with Gilda!" Rainbow Dash was on the ground in two seconds.

"Did you just say he was with GILDA?!"

I fell over in shock.

"Are you ok?!" Gilda asked. I sat up.

"You play the flute?" I asked in suprise. Gilda's blush deepened.

"Yeah, lame I know."

"No, that's cool! Ha, if you wanna know lame, I play the clarinet."

"Really?! No way!"

"Yeah, you don't need to be ashamed of playing the flute!"

"... You mean that?"

"Of course! It's not a bad thing! It's just really nerdy!" Gilda flinched back. I frowned. "What the buck did I just say? I meant to say it was really cool!" Gilda gave me a confused look.

"R-right... Ok... well... do you want to hear it?"

"No bitch, nopony likes you. Of course I want to hear it!" Gilda stepped back.

"W-what?"

"I SAID, I wanna hear the flute!"

"A-are you ok?"

"Hmm? I'm fine. BUT YOU WON'T BE."

"W-WHAT?!"

"I said I'm fine. Are you feeling ok Gilda? You're acting a bit strange..."

"Y-yeah... I'm fine... here goes..." She put the flute up to her beak, and music began to gently flow out.

Listen to the flute in this video.

"Wow..." I closed my eyes and let the music fill my senses. It was... beautiful. Gilda was tense for the first few seconds, but she eventually loosened up and played more passionately. She had her eyes open to play, and she saw Steven smiling and swaying to the music. She didn't know what had been wrong with him a few moments ago, but she was happy he seemed better now. She finished her song and put her flute down. Steven frowned. "Is it over?"

"Yeah... did you really like it Steven?"

"Please, call me Sharky. All my friends do!" I smiled.

"F-friend?" I looked up to Gilda.

"Well of course!"

"R-really?! I... haven't had a real friend since... since Dash got rid of me..."

"Well, you've got one now! Thanks Gilda, for showing me that. That was... that was something special..." I felt my eyes mist over as I remebered the music.

"Thanks... I'm glad I met you..."

"I'm glad I met you too Gilda... Would you mind playing that music again? It was amazing..." Gilda got a huge grin.

"Sure, only for you Sharky!" She brought the flute back to her beak and continued to play. I closed my eyes and let the music flow through me.

"This is bad, this is very, very bad!" RD fretted.

"Why, what's so bad about him being with Gilda?" Twilight asked.

"Gilda doesn't like us remember?! If she finds out that Sharky hangs out with us, she'll try and do something to HIM to get to US!"

"I'm sure Sharky can handle one gryffin..."

"That's what I'm worried about! If he fights her, she can send the whole gryffin kingdom down on him!"

"Gilda has that kind of influence?!"

"Yeah, Princess Gilda does."

"Gilda is a Princess?!"

"Yeah, and Sharky is walking around out there somewhere with her, and the last two princesses he met he blew up and wrestled."

"... Oh dear..."

"Sharky? Are you CRYING?!" Gilda shouted in suprise as she finished her music again.

"Yeah... I was just thinking..."

"Thinking about what?"

"Oh... it's lame, don't worry about it." Gilda put down her flute and sat next to me.

"Look, I'm new to this whole sharing feelings thing, but... tell me. If we're friends I should try to help right?" I laughed a little.

"Wow... You're much nicer than I first thought."

"I.. uh... blame it on the music. Puts me in a weird mood..."

"Yeah, sure... I was thinking about my son." Gilda jumped a little.

"You have a son?! Well... who's his... mom?"

"He technically doesn't have one. I adopted him..."

"Well, where is he?"

"I left him in Ponyville..."

"You just left him there alone?"

"No, he's got two great mares looking after him..."

"Then why so sad? You'll see him again soon right?"

"No. I'm not going back."

"Oh yeah... Why not?" I sighed.

"For reasons I'd rather not explain... Hey, it's really late, mind if I catch some Zs?"

"Ha, going to bed already? The night is the best part of the day!"

"Well, maybe to you, but I prefer to sleep during the night."

"Well, I'm going out to have some fun! I suggest if you don't feel like falling to the ocean you come with me."

"Ah, the old Gilda's back. How I missed her."

"Ouch, your sarcasm cuts me man. C'mon, lighten up! Let's go!" She stood up and started tugging on my wrist.

"Fine fine. Don't expect me to be excited about whatever we do though."

"Oh, you will."

"Well, what do we do?!" Twlight asked in a panic.

"I dunno, don't you have some magic or something to bring him back?!"

"Not that I know of! I already wrote to Celestia, maybe she can do something!"

"Have you gotten a letter back?"

"Not that I know of! I haven't checked since I started looking for you though..."

"Well, come on!" RD took off twowards the library.

"Hey! Wait for me!" Twilight ran behind her, nowhere near as fast as RD.

"Oh, hello Fluttershy dear, what brings you here so late?" Rarity asked as she opened the door for her friend.

"Hi Rarity, did you see Sharky this morning?"

"Humph. I wish. He never visits me any more..." Rarity kicked a roll of fabric glumly.

"Well... I don't mean to startle you, but Sharky's gone."

"Off on another hunt or adventure of some sort? I figured as much..."

"No, Twilight found him far outside of town with Gilda! He was so far away, Twilight's spell almost couldn't reach him!"

"What?! Why was he so far away? With THAT fashion train-wreck?"

"I don't know... I was hoping he talked to you before he left..."

"I'm sorry dear, but I haven't heard from him...."

"Ohhhh.... What are we going to do?!"

"Calm down dear. I'm sure he'll be back soon. I know he wouldn't leave his son for no good reason!" Fluttershy thought for a moment.

"Yeah... you're right... He wouldn't just leave Unity here unless he was coming back right? He sure wouldn't leave Fang either..."

"Yes... Though I do wish he would come back for one of us as well..."

"... Me too... Rarity?"

"Yes dear?"

"I have a confession..."

"What is it?"

"Well... I already to Twilight... so I should tell you too... I kissed Sharky..."

"YOU DID?! YOU kissed HIM!? How darling? You're ever so shy!"

"I had some hard cider..."

"Ah, I see. Had a little drink to build up your spirits? Well... What was it like?"

"It was... yay!"

"A bar huh? I can't tell you how much fun this sounds." I said sarcastically.

"Oh, we aren't here to drink! C'mon follow me!" Gilda grabbed my wrist again and pulled me into the bar.

"Well if we aren't here to drink then what?" She rushed me over to a small booth in the corner of the building. She motioned for me to get low. I ducked so our table covered up all but my face. Gilda pointed at a large gryffin at the front of the bar.

"You see that guy?"

"You mean the biggest gryffin in the building at the very front of the bar in plain sight? No, I can't." Gilda rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, that one. He's the captain of the guard. He likes to come here after a bad day and start fights."

"Ok, why do I care?"

"Because it'll be fun to have a bar fight!"

"... You are a strange girl. What makes you think he had a bad day?"

"Because you single-handedly crushed my guards. Guess who his highness took it out on?"

"You mean that guy got in trouble because of me? Heh, heh. Delightful. That's terrible!" Gilda gave me a confused look.

"Why do you keep doing that?"

"Doing what?"

"That thing where you change your voice and say somethin' weird."

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Gilda gave me a wary stare, but she shrugged and went back to watching the captain. "Bitch..." Gilda turned back to me.

"What?"

"Huh? I didn't say anything."

"... Okayyyyy..." She turned back to the captain again. I gotta say, his drinking was kind of impressive. He was throwing back mugs of whatever as fast as I could drink the hard cider. I guess gryffins have higher alcohol tolerance than ponies, because it took a few mugs before you could tell he was wasted. I guess gryffins don't have that sixth sense that tells you when somepony is staring at you, because he didn't seem to notice us at all. That is until he started scanning the bar for potential opponents, and he spotted me.

"Heey you! Yur the bastard that beat mah buds! Why ya starin' at meh?" He slurred.

"Ok Gilda, when you said he'd start a fight, you didn't say it would be with me."

"Well how was I supposed to know? Besides, he shouldn't be a problem for you right?"

"I'll beat him within an inch of his life. I don't like fighting for no reason!"

"Ok, you're starting to creep me out with that..."

"Hey, I'm talkin' ta you freak! What're you lookin' at?!" The captain interrupted.

"That ugly mug you call a face! Nothing!"

"Ya wanna go punk!?"

"No! I don't want any trouble! Go ahead bitch, make my day!"

"That's it!" The captain stood up from his bar stool and stumbled toward me. I got up and walked towards him, fists raised.

"Yes, I can't tell you how long I've been waiting to crush somepony! Please, we don't have to do this!"

"Just shaddup and fight!" The captain jumped at me. I reached up to force palm him with my right hand, but my left moved on it's own and hit him with a hard cross.

"What the?" The captain hit the ground, but he stood back up and shook himself. He rage-yelled and charged at me. I tried to jump to the side, but I spun in midair and caught him across the face with my left boot. The captain slid a few feet and slammed into the edge of a table leg. He didn't get up.

"Hey! That bitch beat th' captain! Let's get 'im boys!" Another random gryffin called.

"No! I don't want to hurt anypony! Bring it assholes!" About 16 large gryffins stood up from their tables and circled me. "Excellent..."

"Spiiiiike!" Twilight called as she ran into the library. She saw RD and Spike in the middle of the room, reading a new letter. "Hey, let me see that!" She moved inbetween RD and Spike to read.

Dear Twilight,

Unfortunately, Luna has informed me that she has not sent Sharky on a mission. We have tried to contact him, but he is refusing to answer Luna's calls. I can only assume that this means he left on puropse, with no intention of returning soon. You have my deepest apologies.

With regret,

Princess Celestia

"D-do you think it's true Twilight? Do you think he left us on purpose?" RD choked out, tears in her voice.

"N-no... H-he wouldn't have... He... he's in trouble! He ran into trouble with Gilda! That must be why he didn't answer Luna!" RD's sorrowful expression was replaced with fear.

"You're right! He's in danger! What do we do?!"

"Well, we can't help him ourselves... We still don't know where he went... Maybe if we tell Celestia about him being in trouble she can save him!"

"... Are you sure that's all we can do? Send letters?"

"Unless you can tell me where Sharky is and get us there fast enough to help him, yes I'm sure!"

"... Darn... Well, hurry! Celestia knows how much trouble he's in if he can't answer Luna!"

"I'm on it!" Twilight magically grabbed a quill and parchment and started scribbling down her letter as fast as she could.

"Please guys! We can work this out! Prepare to suffer horribly!" The gryffins all jumped at me. I didn't have time or room to react, so I was buried in a pile of gryffin. If it wasn't enough that they were punching and clawing me with abandon, my void lost contact with Gilda's magic and was quickly trying to absorb the energy of one of the gryffin attackers. I punched one of them in the beak, and he fell back holding it and whimpering. I could feel my wings shrink as I struggled against them. I smashed my elbow into another's crotch, and he fell away too. I grabbed another and used him as a club to beat two more off me. One of them got me with a good cross, and made me drop the one I was holding. I threw a wild haymaker and sent another one flying clear into a cloud wall. That still left 11 gryffins, and I could feel the cloud beneath me losing it's ability to support me. Then Gilda came out of nowhere and ripped another two off me. She started fighting them herself, and left me less to deal with. I tensed all my muscles and sprang up as quickly as I could. The remaining gryffins fell away, but didn't leave me alone. I grabbed the nearest chair and smashed it over one's head. The chair broke and he fell to the ground. I took the chair legs left in my hands and used them to beat another into unconciousness. I grabbed another gryffin by the throat and used him to beat another three. By the time I let him go, he had passed out from air loss. I frowned and stopped for a moment. I wasn't usually THIS violent in a fight... Then one of my legs fell through the cloud, reminding me that I was about to die. The remaining three gryffins took the oppritunity to jump at me. I punched one and another stumbled over him as he hit the cloud. I was quickly falling, but I managed to bring my knee up into the remaining gryffin's chin. He went down too. "Gilda! Help! Finish that last bastard off and get over here!" Gilda had beaten one gryffin, and was working on the other. She saw me falling through the clouds, and quickly dispatched the last one. She jumped for me, but at the last moment, the cloud gave out and I began my fall to the ocean.

"Turn it off sister, we can't bear to watch..." Luna said sadly. Celestia had recieved Twilight's letter, and her and Luna had cast a long-distance scrying spell to locate Sharky. They had cast it in time to watch Sharky fight the gryffins and fall through the clouds. Celestia dispelled the scry.

"I... I can't believe it..." Celestia murmered. "If only I had the strength to teleport him from here..."

"Don't fret sister, we know it would take time to prepare such a powerful teleportation spell..."

"Twilight and her friends will be devastated..."

"We know..." Celestia gave a heavy sigh and picked up a piece of parchment to write to her student.

"Twiliiiiiight! I've got a new letter!" Spike called.

"Already? The Princesses must have found him! Quick, bring it here!" Spike ran over with the letter. Twilight unrolled it and magically held it up for RD and her to read.

Dear Twilight,

I... have located Sharky. He was in the Gryffin Empire, engaged in fierce combat. I regret to inform you that he fell through the cloud that holds up the Gryffin Empire. I must tell you that he has fallen to the ocean below. His chances for survival... are none. I regret the fact that in this letter I must not only send you my apologies, but my condolences as well.

My humblest apologies,

Princess Celestia.

"N-no... no it can't be..." Twilight had read the letter out loud. In the other room, Unity began to cry.

Awaken

Spike's eyes fluttered open and the world slowly came into focus. He jumped a little as he realized he was looking right into Unity's eyes. They were sleeping together, and Unity had woken up first. Spike smiled and rubbed the top of Unity's head gently.

"Good morning buddy." He said softly, unsure if Twilight was asleep nearby. Unity grinned back at him. He extended his lion paw and copied Spike by rubbing the spines on his head in return. Spike gave a short laugh, but then realized that somepony was knocking on the door downstairs. He groaned and climbed out of the bed. He trudged down the stairs, grumbling about somepony visiting this early. He got to the bottom, and jumped as he realized Twilight was still sitting in the exact same spot she had been last night. "Twilight?" Twilight slowly turned to him in recognition of her name. Her eyes still held no focus, it was like she was looking through him.

"He's gone Spike..." She mumbled dully. Spike flinched at the heart break evident in her voice, then lowered his head as last night's events came flooding back to his memory. He had almost forgotten about Sharky's death in his early morning haze. He sighed deeply. Twilight looked back away from him. He wanted to go hug her, console her, but he knew it wouldn't help. Instead he simply went to answer the door. Standing outside, was a large stallion with... dragon wings?

"Whoa!" Spike exclaimed in suprise. The dragon-stallion jumped back as well.

"Hey! Y-you're a dragon!" The stallion shouted.

"You're a dragon-pony! Why are you here?!"

"Oh, sorry, I didn't expect to see a dragon I suppose... Anyway, Sharky told me to come talk to Twilight about a house?"

"Oh, what's your name?"

"Sharky named me Blaze."

"Oh, Twilight told me you were a new friend of his... She didn't mention the dragon thing..."

"Oh... yeah... dad was a dragon... mom was a pony... I never really asked about the details there..."

"I hear ya bro... Well... listen... about Sharky..."

"Yeah, is he here? Last I heard he went on a hunt. Nopony tells me anything, so I've really got no clue how he is."

"Yeah... He's kinda... dead." Blaze's eyes swelled and he rocked back on his haunches.

"He's what?!"

"Yeah... He died..."

"On the hunt?! I knew I shoulda offered to help him! Now the only pony that ever accepted me is dead!" Blaze started hitting himself with a hoof.

"No no! He didn't die on the hunt!" Blaze stopped hitting himself.

"He didn't? Well what in Equestria could kill him other than a monster fight?"

"A thousand foot fall off the Gryffin Empire..." Blaze flinched.

"Oh... oh... So there's no hope he's still alive?"

"Afraid not..."

"Well that sucks... Well... I... damn... I can't believe he's just gone..." Blaze turned around. "I... need to figure out this odd emotion I have right now..." He flapped his wings and took off towards the forest. Spike sighed.

"Well... Only one more pony to tell I guess..." He started to leave, but he was caught by a purple aura.

"You can't leave too Spike... You won't leave me too right?" Twilight asked.

"Of course I won't! I just gotta go find Stormy to tell him about Sharky!"

"No. You have to stay. You can't leave too..." Spike sighed.

"Ok Twilight, I'll stay..." As soon as he said that, the aura lifted him and carried him to Twilight. Her gaze was still blank, but she wrapped her hooves around him.

"Good..." She hugged him closer and sighed. "He's gone Spike..."

"I know..." He hugged her back, feeling a few tears land on the top of his head. They were both still sleepy, and soon they were both snoring soundly.

Gilda was sad to be sure, but she knew she couldn't just let him be dead without telling anypony. He had said he left ponyville, and he had talked about his friends a lot, so she figured she could tell them he was dead. For Sharky, not for them.

Man... What's it gonna be like to see them again? She wondered. She knew they were most likely still mad at her for the last time she visited, and she wasn't looking forward to seeing them again. She pushed her doubts aside and continued on to Ponyville. She had been very near to it when she had started doubting herself, and she was almost there. She had flown straight through the night to help keep her mind off of her friend. Now, she heard a familiar voice.

"Hey! It's Gilda!" Gilda turned to face the voice, and a cyan pegasus pony smashed into her head.

"Ow! Geez! Way to say hi loser!" Gilda snapped. Rainbow Dash looked furious.

"You got my friend killed!!"

"What?" Rainbow Dash flew up and slapped her with a hoof.

"Don't you play dumb with me! You got Sharky killed! How dare you!" Tears began to flow from Rainbow Dash's eyes, and she started flailing wildly at Gilda. Gilda took the first few blows in suprise, but quickly caught all of Rainbow Dash's hooves and held her still.

"You know Sharky died?" Gilda asked in shock. Rainbow Dash struggled and managed to get a forehoof free. She slapped Gilda again before she could grab the loose hoof.

"Don't you DARE call him Sharky! Only his friends get to call him that!" Gilda started tearing up.

"I WAS his friend you idiot! He was my only friend since you left me!" She cried painfully.

"Yeah right! He wouldn't be friends with a jerk like you! Even if he was your friend, why would you get a bunch of gryffins to kill him huh?!"

"Because I couldn't stop them! It was a bar fight! I tried to catch him before he fell... but I... I wasn't fast enough..." At this, Rainbow Dash's rage subsided. Gilda had started crying. In all the years Rainbow Dash had known her, she had never once seen her cry.

"A... are you crying?"

"Of course not! Only babies cry!" Gilda sobbed a little. "... Ok, maybe a little..."

"Wow... well... Y... you tried to save him? Why was he in a bar fight anyway?" Gilda flinched.

"I... it was my idea... I thought it would be fun for him to beat up somepony... I enjoy it..." Rainbow frowned. Gilda was still as violent as ever. "I... I didn't think he would die... It's my fault..." Gilda started crying again. She released Dash and sobbed into her talons.

"Why do you care so much?"

"H-he was my o-only friend! Ever s-since you abandoned me, I've been alone! S-sharky... He accepted me even though I was a t-total jerk to him... and I went and got him killed!" She started wailing, and Rainbow began to feel guilty. She was the element of loyalty, but she had abandoned one of her oldest and closest friends. Sharky... Sharky had been more accepting of Gilda then she had. Now here Gilda was, willing to face her again to... What was she here for?

"G-gilda? W-why are you here anyways?" Rainbow was a little suprised that her voice was choked with tears as well. Gild wiped her eyes and snifled.

"That's right, I-I'm acting like a l-little cub!" Gilda smacked herself and wiped her eyes again. "I c-came here to tell you he was dead. He talked about his friends in Ponyville a few times, and I t-thought you would wanna know..."

"Y... you came all the way here, knowing we didn't like you, just because you thought we'd want to know?" Gilda looked up at Rainbow Dash.

"Y-yeah... I figured you guys, lame as you are, deserved to know. I think Sharky would've wanted you to know..." Fresh tears sprang back into the girls' eyes. Rainbow flew over to hug Gilda. "H-hey! D-don't touch me you geek!"

"Just shut up Gilda... You're a good friend for coming back here just for Sharky... I'm sorry I abandoned you..." Gilda faltered and broke into sobs again.

"I... I... I... I was s-so alone..." Gilda started shaking. "Do you know what it's like? To have nopony there for you? I was so alone Dash... and then I got the one guy willing to put up with me killed..."

"It's ok Gilda... I know you didn't mean it... I forgive you... I know if Sharky were here he would be ok with it too..."

"T-that reminds me... Sharky talked about you a bit... You have a kid now?" Rainbow smiled and wiped the tears from her face.

"Y-yeah... she should be getting out of school any minute..."

"... Can I see her?"

"Sure!" Rainbow started pulling Gilda towards Ponyville Elementary.

"Hey Fluttershy! Are you here?" Stormy asked as he came to Fluttershy's house.

"I d-don't wanna talk!" Fluttershy yelled from inside the house. Stormy could hear the tears in her voice.

"Fluttershy? What's wrong?"

"I t-told y-you I don't want t-to... waaaahhhh!" She wailed in sadness. Stormy opened the door and trotted to Fluttershy's room. She was sobbing into her pillow, and tissues covered the floor.

"Fluttershy! What in Equestria happened?!"

"S-s-s-s-s--"

"Sharky died?" Fluttershy's head popped up from her pillow, and she turned towards Stormy. Her face was streaked with tears, and her eyes were really red.

"Y-you heard?" She choked.

"No." He trotted over and patted Fluttershy on the back.

"T-then how d-did you k-know?"

"Guessed."

"Why aren't y-you sad?"

"Oh, I am, but it's the natural order of things. Good ponies die all the time, and there's nothing you can do. You just have to move on."

"B-but I don't wanna move on! I w-want Sharky back!" She turned her head and started crying again.

"I know, I know... but think about it, would Sharky want you to just sit here and cry?" Fluttershy sobbed a few more times before sitting up and wiping her eyes.

"Well... no... but I'm sad..."

"Well, I understand that, but I think Sharky would want us to be happy! He wouldn't want us to lay around and cry for him!" Fluttershy sat up a bit straighter.

"Y-you're right... Sharky would want that..." Then she collapsed back into her pillow. "But I still want him back!" She sobbed. Stormy sighed.

"I know, I want him back too, but wanting isn't going to help us. When you're done missing him, try to be happy ok? I know that wherever he is, he doesn't want to see you cry anymore." Stormy backed away from the bed, and left the house. Fluttershy did her best to stop crying for Sharky, but she couldn't bring herself to be happy. She continued to cry.

FUCK IT! I'm opening my eyes now! I had been floating for HOURS now. I had been waiting for some heavenly/demonic voice to greet me, but none had come. I opened my eyes and saw... green. Just green. Whatever I was floating in was some kind of green liquid. I looked around a little more, and I saw all these weird little cords attached to me with suction cups. What the? This is... not heaven or hell is it? My eyes began to be able to focus through the pale green liquid. I could see that a few inches in front of me, the green liquid ended. I guess I was in some kind of glass container. I moved my head forward a bit further to see past the glass. In front of me were two human men in white lab coats. I could barely make out what they were saying.

"What happened to the original test subject?" The one on the left was asking.

"Maybe this is the effect of the genetic experiment?" The other one guessed skeptically.

"Then why does he have pants now?" All of the sudden, I realized what was going on. I had seen this in a video game a few years back. Test tube full of green liquid, genetic mutations, one of the scientists said the word 'miasma' and I knew exactly what was going on. I was in deep shit, and I started beating on the glass as hard as I could. The scientists backed away in fear, and the glass gave way to my fists. I was loose in the world of Final Fantasy 7.

Explanation: FF7

This is here for all of you that don't know about the FF7 world.

Final Fantasy VII begins with Cloud (main character) joining AVALANCHE (rebel group) in a series of raids against the Mako reactors surrounding the city of Midgar (main city). Although the first mission is successful, AVALANCHE is trapped at another reactor during a subsequent raid. The reactor explodes, launching Cloud from the upper levels of Midgar into the slums below. He lands on a flower bed, where he is formally introduced to Aerith(dead mentor's love). Prompted by the arrival of Shinra's Turks operatives sent to capture Aerith, Cloud agrees to be Aerith's bodyguard and defends her from the Turks. After the Shinra discover the location of AVALANCHE's hideout, they destroy it by demolishing the entirety of Sector 7, killing its population and three members of AVALANCHE. The Turks also capture Aerith, who is revealed to be the last surviving "Cetra", a race closely attuned with the planet and previously thought to be extinct. President Shinra believes Aerith can lead him to the "Promised Land", a mythical land of fertility, where he expects to find Mako energy.

The remaining members of AVALANCHE infiltrate Shinra (giant evil company that basically owns the world) corporate headquarters to rescue Aerith. After freeing her and Red XIII(badass red wolf thing), they escape because most of the personnel in the building, including the president, are killed by Sephiroth, a man presumed to be dead, who stated that he would never allow Shinra to claim the Promised Land. The party also learns that during Sephiroth's attack on Shinra, the headless body of a creature named "Jenova" disappeared from the building's research facility. While the president's son, Rufus Shinra, assumes control of the company, AVALANCHE pursues Sephiroth across the planet, fearing his intentions for the Promised Land may be more destructive than Shinra's. The party is joined by Cait Sith and Cid, and optionally by Vincent and Yuffie. The full scope of Sephiroth's plan is eventually revealed: if the world is significantly damaged, the Lifestream will gather in an attempt to heal the wound. Sephiroth intends to use a powerful spell called "Meteor" to cause this injury, and then merge with the planet's energy, allowing him to be reborn as a god and rule over the planet. Aerith sets off to stop Sephiroth on her own. AVALANCHE follow her to the northern continent, where they enter an ancient Cetra city. After finding Aerith praying to the planet for aid, Sephiroth fatally impales Aerith with his sword.

Influenced by Sephiroth, Cloud becomes suspicious of his memories and insists he is not a real human, but instead a specimen created from Jenova's genetic material by Professor Hojo. Jenova was an interstellar creature who crash-landed on the planet roughly 2,000 years prior to the game's events. Jenova had intended to infect all living organisms on the planet with a virus inducing insanity and monstrous transformations; among its victims were most of the Cetra. Attempting to defend itself, the planet created giant monsters called "WEAPON"s. The majority of humans fled rather than fight Jenova; however, a small group of Cetra survivors managed to defeat and confine Jenova. Eventually, the remains of Jenova were unearthed by Professor Gast, a researcher for the Shinra Company. Mistaking the creature for a Cetra, Gast was given authorization to conduct an experiment to artificially produce a Cetra by combining cells from Jenova with the fetus of an unborn child. Sephiroth learned that he was the product of this experiment while on a Shinra mission in Cloud and Tifa's hometown, Nibelheim. He concluded that he was a Cetra who had been produced solely from Jenova's genetic material. He burned down Nibelheim, intending to kill all descendants of those he believed had abandoned his ancestors in the defense of the planet. Cloud confronted Sephiroth during this massacre, after which Sephiroth vanished under unknown circumstances and was presumed dead until his reappearance in the Shinra building. When AVALANCHE travels to the Northern Crater to confront Sephiroth, he tells Cloud that he was not in Nibelheim, showing him images of a SOLDIER with dark hair who occupies Cloud's place in his memories. Tifa is unable to refute Sephiroth's claims, and Sephiroth casts the Meteor spell, causing the planet to awaken the WEAPONs in response. During the earthquake that follows, Cloud is separated from his companions and falls into the Lifestream.

As the Meteor summoned by Sephiroth slowly approaches the planet, the Shinra Company focuses its efforts on protecting humanity from the WEAPONs, as well as defeating Sephiroth, in the hopes that this will dismiss Meteor itself. Meanwhile, the members of AVALANCHE find Cloud in a catatonic state on a tropical resort where he washed up following the casting of Meteor. The WEAPONs' destructive activity causes the island to split open, and Cloud and Tifa fall into the Lifestream, where she reconstructs Cloud's memories and learns the truth about his past. It is revealed that Cloud never succeeded in joining SOLDIER, and that the dark-haired SOLDIER from his memories was actually Aerith's first love and Cloud's best friend, Zack Fair. Zack, Tifa, and Cloud had fought Sephiroth during the burning of Nibelheim. Although Tifa and Zack were defeated, Cloud and Sephiroth severely wounded one another. After decapitating Jenova, Sephiroth was thrown into the Lifestream by Cloud, taking the creature's head with him. Rather than dying, his body and consciousness were crystallized in Mako inside Jenova's crater.

Cloud and Zack were among the wounded survivors who were apprehended by Shinra as part of a cover-up of Sephiroth's massacre. Professor Hojo subjected these survivors to an experiment, performing the same enhancements given to SOLDIER members—a procedure which included Mako showers and the injection of Jenova cells. All but Zack entered a comatose state, and nearly five years later, Zack broke free from his confinement and took Cloud with him. However, the alien Jenova cells in Cloud's body still allowed Sephiroth to modulate his behavior. Moreover, the cells' ability to duplicate information allowed Cloud's mind to construct a false persona built around Zack's behavior. This was prompted by Zack himself, who was killed outside Midgar by Shinra soldiers during the escape; he urged Cloud to live both their lives before passing on. Afterward, Tifa discovered Cloud, who was wearing a SOLDIER 1st Class uniform, and offered him a job with AVALANCHE.

After Cloud awakens, it is revealed that Aerith, in her final moments, was casting the spell "Holy" with the White Materia, the only means of opposing Meteor. Although she succeeded, Sephiroth had since prevented the spell from taking effect. Deciding to protect humanity from the WEAPONs before approaching Sephiroth, Shinra and AVALANCHE destroy the WEAPONs, although nearly all of Shinra's executives are killed in the process. Among the few survivors are Reeve Tuesti, who is revealed to be the repentant controller of Cait Sith, and Professor Hojo, who is revealed to be Sephiroth's biological father. He explains that he and his wife were assistants to Professor Gast, and offered up their unborn child as a test subject to research involving Jenova. After finding out that Hojo is trying to help Sephiroth gain mastery over the Lifestream, AVALANCHE kills him. In their final assault against Sephiroth, the group travels through the Northern Crater to the planet's core. They defeat Sephiroth and free Holy, but the spell is unable to destroy Meteor alone. Selected as Meteor's target, Midgar is almost completely destroyed. However, the Lifestream rises from the planet to aid Holy in destroying the Meteor. During the epilogue, taking place 500 years after the game's events, Red XIII runs through a canyon with two cubs at his side. He proceeds up a cliff-face, which reveals a lush land of greenery where Midgar had once been.

Important info: Cloud's former weapon, the Buster Sword, was previously owned by his friend and mentor, Zack. Zack had recieved it from his former friend and mentor Angeal. It is stabbed into the cliff outside of Midgar where Zack died.

Break

"Well... hey guys." I gasped as I looked up to the trembling scientists. I was surrounded by shattered glass and liquid miasma. My pants and shoes were both soaked. One of the scientists fainted. Pansy.

"B-break! Experiment break!" The other scientist yelled as he flipped around and hit a huge red button on the wall. An alarm began sounding and I heard shouting nearby.

"Hello to you too..." I grumbled. The second scientist screamed and ran out of the room after hitting the button. I ran over to the unconcious scientist and took his jacket, glasses and badge as quickly as I could. I put them on and dragged the scientist to the nearest door. I opened it, to reveal stairs leading down. "Sucks for you buddy..." I heaved the scientist to the staircase and tossed him down. I closed the door just as a bunch of men in S.O.L.I.D.E.R. uniforms ran in. I pointed at the nearest door that one of the scientists hadn't gone through. "That way! The experiment ran that way!" The lead one nodded and they all charged through the door I had pointed at. I looked around for an escape, but there were only four doors in the room. One the soliders had come from, so I didn't want to go that way in case there were more. One the soliders had run into, I really didn't want to go that way. I didn't exactly want to be around the unconcious scientist, so I guess I was following the one that hit the button. He was most likely heading for an exit anyway. I ran into the hallway the scientist had fled down. It was inclining upwards slightly, and there were lights on the walls every few feet. I heard metal scraping metal way ahead of me, and figured the scientist had opened some sort of door. I heard angry noises from behind me, and I could only assume that the S.O.L.I.D.E.Rs had discovered my trick. I sprinted as fast as I could down the hall, reaching the end in a matter of seconds. Sure enough, there was a huge metal door left wide open for me. I stepped outside and gently pulled it shut, hoping my pursuers would assume it had never opened.

"N-no! Stay away from me!" The scientist was just outside as well, cowering in fear. "Don't hurt me!"

"With what? Do you see a weapon on me?" I asked sarcastically. "Maybe I should beat you to death for the crap you pulled back there!"

"Please! I have a wife and kids!" He begged.

"Dude, I just said I don't even have a weapon... So I'll rip off your own arm and beat you with it!" The scientist curled up and started babbling incoherently. I sighed and turned to examine my surroundings. The door I had just exited from was nearly invisible. It was camoflaged to look like a large rock. I turned to examine the surrounding area. It looked like a wasteland all around me, except for a patch of cliffs and hills to the right, and a crumbly looking city to the left. "Hey, you work for Shinra I assume?" I asked the scientist. He nodded fearfully. "So that city... It's Midgar right?" The scientist nodded again. "Excellent." I took off in the directions of the cliffs, eager to see a particular landmark.

"S-shinra will get you! Their grasp is world-wide! You can run, but they'll kill you!" The scientist suddenly found his voice behind me.

"That'll make three deaths for me! Bye!"

Twilight and Spike were awoken by Unity crying. They hazily blinked a few times, before Twilight's eyes widened slightly.

"Oh! I haven't fed Unity yet!" She jumped up and Spike smiled. Twilight was acting normal again. Halfway to the staircase, her ears drooped and her body sagged. "Oh yeah... Sharky is dead..." She muttered. Spike face-palmed.

Just when I thought she was getting over it... He sighed inwardly. Twilight continued her slow trot upstairs though, so at least she was still able to remember to take care of Unity. Spike stood up and walked into the kitchen to make breakfast. Was it lunch? He took a moment to check the sun's position through a window. Dear Celestia! It's already past noon! He exclaimed internally. No wonder Unity is so upset! He moved to the fridge to begin prepaing a late lunch.

"Gilda, meet Scootaloo!" Rainbow Dash said proudly. Scootaloo stared in awe at the gryffin.

"Wow! You're a gryffin!" She gasped. Gilda rolled her eyes and looked at Dash.

"You got yourself a real genius here." Rainbow punched Gilda in the shoulder.

"Be nice!"

"I've never seen you up close before!" Scootaloo interrupted. She started zipping all around Gilda, examining her. "You are so cool! You're almost as cool as Sharky! Hey, have you gotten to meet Sharky yet? He's really nice, I think you'd like him!" Gilda and Dash both flinched and lowered their heads.

"Yeah... Yeah, I have met him kid..." Gilda mumbled glumly. Scootaloo looked at them confusedly.

"Why are you two sad all of the sudden?" Rainbow looked up and thought for a moment.

"Look... I... didn't tell you this last night... but... Sharky--"

"Will be on a trip for a while!" Gilda interrupted. "We're sad because he's gonna be gone for a long time." Scootaloo nodded her head and looked at the ground.

"Well that sucks, I wanted to talk to him a bit more... Rainbow Dash says he's really cool, and I wanted to see if it was possible to be as cool as Rainbow Dash!"

"Heh, believe it or not kid, he was. Maybe even cooler." Gilda laughed to lighten the mood a bit.

"Well, I wouldn't say that..." Rainbow Dash grumbled.

"Yeah! Nopony is cooler than Rainbow Dash!" Scootaloo interrupted.

"Ha! Thanks Scoots! Hey, now that you've met Gilda, why don't you and your friends crusade with her?" Scootaloo put on a broad grin,but Gilda frowned and looked to Rainbow Dash.

"Crusade?" Rainbow Dash grinned.

"You'll see..."

"That... was horrible..." Gilda had flown up to Rainbow's house. She was covered in leaves and had a bruise on her head. Rainbow Dash burst out laughing.

"W-what was the crusade this time?"

"First, they wanted to try gryffin riding, then it was lion taming. I tried to tell them I'm not a lion, but they said it was close enough. Luckily I got away before one of them managed to find an actual whip!" Rainbow continued laughing, and Gilda narrowed her eyes. "Oh, so that's funny huh?"

"It's bucking hilarious!" Gilda crouched down.

"Well, then this'll be a riot!" She leapt up and pounced on Dash, and they rolled around on the floor wrestling. Eventually Gilda pinned Dash and they just sat there laughing. Gilda eventually rolled back off of Dash.

"Just like old times, huh Gilda?"

"Yeah... just like old times..."

"Rainbow Dash?!" Scootaloo's voice drifted up from the ground.

"Oh!" Rainbow stood up and trotted over to a window. "Hey Scoots! Coming home already?" Scootaloo beamed up at her.

"I love hearing that word! Home... Anyway, whaddya mean already? It's like an hour until night!" Rainbow looked up at the darkening sky.

"Wow! I guess I lost track of time! Ok, I'll be right down!" She jumped out of the window and drifted down to her new daughter. She lifted her in her forehooves and flew off the ground. "Geez, you're heavy Scoots! Heh, this has gotta be great for my wings!"

"Ha ha! Glad I can help! ... Hey... Thanks for adopting me... I never really got to say it... but I'm really happy now!" She beamed up at her idol, and Rainbow smiled back.

"You're welcome Scoots... I'm sorry it took so long for me to figure out what you meant to me..."

"It doesn't matter! We're together now right?" Rainbow Dash's smile broadened.

"Yeah, we are... Thanks to Sharky..." Rainbow Dash's mood became somber again, and the smile disappeared from her face.

"Rainbow Dash? What's wrong?" Rainbow Dash had begun to tear up again.

"Oh, nothing Scoots... Here we are, home sweet home..." She flew through the floor of her house and placed Scootaloo down. "Hey Gilda, it's getting late, shouldn't you be getting home?"

"Eh, like I care. I'll find somewhere to crash I'm sure. Night." Gilda opened her wings and prepared to take off, but Rainbow Dash stopped her.

"Well hey! If you aren't heading home, do you wanna stay here for a while?" Gilda closed her wings.

"Here? With you? Sounds lame... but ok." Rainbow Dash smiled. She knew Gilda was happy on the inside.

"Cool, let's just make you a bed real quick..." Rainbow set to work manipulating the floor of the house, quickly forming a bed just large enough for Gilda. "There you go!" She said proudly. She turned to Scootaloo. "Well, it's getting late Scoots, you should get to bed 'kay?" Scootaloo nodded.

"Ok Dash, night!" She trotted off to her bed obidiently, eager to please her idol.

"Night Scoots!" She turned to Gilda. "She had dinner right?" Gilda nodded.

"Yeah, they stopped by Carrot Top's place and she gave 'em some--"

"Carrots?"

"Heh, yeah. Well, Imma hit the sack myself. Night Dash."

"Night Gilda." Rainbow turned to go to her room, and soon she was tucked snugly into her bed. Without anything to distract her, her thoughts quickly turned to Sharky. She let out a few more silent tears for him, the let herself be lulled into sleep.

Thursday, January 15th

"Hmm...." Twilight groaned and stretched as she woke up. She had managed to make it through the day yesterday, but only with a lot of help from Spike. Internally she was proud of him for being brave through this, but she couldn't bring herself to express any emotions recently. She blinked her eyes open groggily, to look directly into Pinkie Pie's eyes. "GAH!" She shouted and jumped up.

"Twilight! Do you have any spells for making somepony not dead?!" Pinkie Pie asked determinedly. Twilight blinked a few times to clear the last of the sleep haziness from her eyes.

"W-what? No Pinkie, no spells like that exist..." She said regretfully. Twilight had already considered the option herself.

"Then I've got no use for this place! See you later Twilight!" Pinkie Pie dashed out of the library before Twilight could say another word.

"... She left too..." Twilight sighed to herself.

Fluttershy woke up, determined to not be sad today. She had spent all the time she felt she should missing Sharky. Stormy was right, crying wouldn't make Sharky happy, wherever he was. She told herself that she needed to be happy today. Yesterday, she had decided she only needed to arrange one more thing before she could feel like Sharky got all he deserved in terms of mourning. She set out of her house to see her friends. She decided that Sharky needed a funeral.

"Hi Rarity..." Fluttershy greeted as she walked into Carousel Boutique.

"Well hello Fluttershy! How are you this fine morning?" Rarity asked suprisingly cheerily.

"Umm... fine I suppose... Hey, I need your help..."

"With what dear? I'm always happy to help my friends!"

"Well... I wanna plan a funeral for Sharky an--" Rarity whipped around with astounding speed and trotted closer to Fluttershy.

"Nonsense! Sharky isn't dead!"

"B-but Spike said tha--"

"No! We don't know about humans! I'm sure he's alive! He'll come back any day now! Just you wait!" She said huffily. She turned again and went back to her fabrics.

"Well... Will you help me plan a funeral that way we can have one in case he doesn't come back?"

"No! He WILL come back! He doesn't need a funeral! ... However I will help you plan a funeral... Not that he might be dead, but it'll be nice if he thinks we wanted to honor him right?"

"Right... Thank you Rarity... I'm going to go tell the others now..."

"Have fun dear, I'll see you soon to discuss details!"

Funeral

Rainbow Dash woke up early. Which was very unusual for her, she normally slept in very late. Something had disturbed her. She looked around drowsily for whatever had disturbed her, and she noticed something on her bed. Laying next to her, curled up in a little ball under the blanket, was her new daughter. She was snoring softly, and her mane was even more ruffled than usual. Rainbow smiled at how peaceful and cute she looked. Then she jumped out of the bed abruptly, knocking Scootaloo to the floor.

"WHOA!" Scootaloo woke up quckly and shouted as she fell to the floor.

"Wake up sleepyhead! It's time to get ready for school!" Scootaloo shook her head in suprise and glared at Rainbow Dash.

"Not cool Rainbow!" Rainbow Dash laughed and Scootaloo cracked a smile. "Ok, I guess you're right..." Scootaloo stood up and groggily trudged over to her school saddlebags. She started checking for all of her things while she ran a hoof over her mane to straighten it a little.

"I'm gonna go start breakfast, what do you want?"

"Oh, anything's fine with me!" Scootaloo said happily. "I'm just glad to get breakfast!" Rainbow Dash flinched.

"You... you really had it tough, didn't you Scoots?"

"Huh? I dunno... I don't really know what it's like to not live like I did. I can tell you that this is way better though!"

"Well... I'm glad you're so happy... I'm just sorry it took me so long to figure out you needed me..."

"Don't worry about it! We're together now! That's all I care about!"

"Heh, you're right Scoots... Breakfast'll be ready soon." Rainbow trotted out of the room. Gilda was awake and sitting on a cloud couch in the next room.

"She means a lot to ya, huh?" Gilda asked. Rainbow nodded.

"Yeah... Yeah she does. So, you gonna eat with us?" Gilda flinched.

"Uhh... actually, I think I'm gonna go see if I can find something somewhere else..."

"Oh yeah, that reminds me, I don't think I've ever eaten with you... Why do you always leave when you eat?"

"Uhh... I... like to eat alone. Stop bugging me about it, geez..."

"... You don't eat meat, do you?"

"... Heh, no! That... that's a dumb idea..."

"Ha, don't worry, Sharky did too, it doesn't bug me."

"... Really?"

"Really, now go find yourself some food."

"Hey! Don't tell me what to do!"

"Then don't. I don't really care, I gotta get to work on Scootaloo's breakfast..." Rainbow Dash trotted off to the kitchen.

"See you later." Gilda jumped out of the nearest window and started flying over the Everfree forest in search of food. It was winter, so pickings were pretty slim. Then she spotted a lone wolf walking slowly inbetween the trees. She let out a low hiss of hatred and joy at the same time. Gryffins, being half cat, hate all canines. Luckily, Gilda had the advantage over this wolf. She licked her beak in anticipation of her next meal, then went in for the killing dive.

"Hi Applejack..." Fluttershy mumbled as she walked up to her friend. Applejack was busy bucking apples out of the enhanced trees.

"Howdy *BUCK* Fluttershy. Ah'm a bit busy right now... *BUCK*" Applejack continued her bucking as she talked.

"Oh... I don't mean to distract you... I just wanted to tell you about Sharky's upcoming funeral..." As soon as the word 'funeral' left Fluttershy's lips, Applejack was next to her, covering her mouth with her hoof.

"Hush Fluttershy! Ah still haven't had a chance ta tell--" Shadow ran out from behind a nearby tree.

"Did you just say Sharky's funeral?!" He shouted. Applejack flinched.

"Well... Ah guess it's about time Ah told ya anyway Shadow... Sharky died..." Shadow's eyes widened and his legs buckled beneath him.

"N-no... h... he can't be... No... I can't lose another... no... he can't be... NO!" He started sobbing, tears flowing freely from his eyes as he shouted and pounded the dirt.

"Ah'm sorry Shadow... See Fluttershy? Ah wanted to break it ta him easy-like..."

"Oh my... I'm so sorry Shadow..." Fluttershy started crying too. "I... I don't want him to be dead either!" She started bawling along with Shadow. The Ursa minor appeared out of the trees and started rubbing against Shadow in an effort to soothe him.

"Not Sharky... not now... It's not fair..." Shadow wailed. Applejack looked back and forth between the sobbing ponies, unsure what to do.

"Uhh... Now look y'all... Sharky.. he's in a better place now... Ya don't need ta be sad for him..."

"CRAP CRAP CRAP!!!"

"There's the experiment! Get him!" The Shinra S.O.L.I.D.E.R.s had left the hidden lab, and were chasing me down across the wasteland. Luckily none of them seemed to be carrying guns, so I was safe as long as I could stay ahead of them. Which wouldn't be much longer seeing as how they were genetically enhanced super soliders. I had managed to make it about halfway to the little collection of hills and cliffs before they had come out of the lab. Then a lightning bolt hit the ground next to me and I looked behind me to see that one of the soliders had a materia (Stone that lets you cast magic) in his arm.

"CRAP!!!!!!!!!"

Fluttershy managed to regain her composure after Applejack said he was in a better place. She stood back up off the ground and wiped her eyes clear of tears.

"Y-you're right Applejack... He's better off wherever he is..." Shadow's sobs had quieted down and he was holding the Ursa close to him.

"H-he may be better off... but I still don't w-want him to be gone!" Shadow wailed. "He's just gone! He can't just be gone! It's n-not fair!"

"Ah know it's sad Shadow... but there ain't much we can do. Layin' around cryin' won't help anypony." Applejack trotted over to him and draped a foreleg around his shoulders. "Sides, Ah'm sure Sharky wouldn't wanna see ya crying for him. It'd make him sad." Shadow sniffled and sobbed a few more times, but he eventually stood up and wiped his eyes.

"Y-you're right Applejack... I... I'll try to be strong..." Another tear trickled from his eye, but he wiped it away as it came. "I... I just need to be alone..."

"Of course sugarcube... You can go home early today if ya like..." Shadow shook his head.

"N-no... I'm just gonna head deeper into the orchards to work... I'll... I'll see you guys soon..." Shadow turned and left the girls. The Ursa followed closely behind him.

"Heh, he's such a hard worker..." Applejack mumbled. Fluttershy spoke up again.

"Well... I'm sorry I caused all that trouble with Shadow... I just wanted to tell you that Sharky's having a funeral... Rarity says she can have it ready by this coming tuesday... If that's not too soon for you..."

"Don't worry sugarcube, Ah'll be there. Ah'm sure Shadow'll come too..."

"Ok... Thank you Applejack... I'm gonna go tell the other girls now..."

"See ya later Fluttershy." Applejack turned and went back to bucking apple trees. Fluttershy turned and started trotting in the direction of Twilight's library.

Fang continued his slow trot through the forest. His heart was in pieces, and he really didn't know where to go. When he lived with Fluttershy, he had always gone back to her for shelter. He had always stayed near Sharky when he could, and he felt bad that he couldn't have been around him more. He had thought about going back to Fluttershy, but his heart wasn't in it. It reminded him too much of his old master. So now he roamed the forest, only caring about his next meal and staying alive. Then, out of the corner of his eye he saw a shadow rush in his direction. His instincts ordered him to leap to the side, and as he leapt he heard an impact behind him. He whipped around to see a gryffin. She had gray feathers, gray legs, and gray eyes. She was very gray. Then again, so was everything else. She was crouching in his direction, obviously preparing to pounce. Fang assumed an attack stance.

"Heh, gonna fight huh? Good, I like it when my meals have a little bite..." The gryffin hissed. Fang growled in response.

"Hello Twilight..." Fluttershy walked into the library. Twilight was sitting next to a few bookcases in the corner of the room. She was holding Unity in her forehooves, and holding a bottle of chocolate milk to his mouth magically.

"Oh... Hello Fluttershy..." Twilight muttered distantly. "Did you want something?"

"No... I just wanted to invite you to Sharky's funeral... Rarity says she can have it ready by next Tuesday..."

"Sharky's gone..." Twilight mumbled in response. Spike walked down the stairs.

"She'll be there Fluttershy..." Fluttershy nodded skeptically.

"Is... is she ok?"

"Oh, Twilight? Umm... no, no she is not... She was really hurt..."

"Oh... I'm sorry... can I help?"

"So far, I don't think anypony can help her... She'll have to work this out herself I suppose..."

"Sharky left me again..." Twilight interrupted.

"Wow... If... if you think she can do it..." Fluttershy said hesitantly.

"I know she can... She's strong..." Spike consoled.

"Ok Spike... Good luck Twilight..." Fluttershy turned and left the library.

"Fluttershy left too..." Twilight mumbled.

"Yes, yes she did Twilight..."

"You won't leave, right Spike?"

"No... I won't leave Twilight..."

"Good... You won't leave either... Right Unity?" In response, Unity finished his milk, not the bottle, and burped up a bunch of cocoa beans.

"Hey Fluttershy!" Blaze came out of nowhere as Fluttershy trotted towards Rainbow Dash's favorite flight practice field.

"Oh! Blaze! You frightened me!" Fluttershy gasped.

"Oh, sorry Fluttershy. Just wondering what you were doin' so far away from home."

"I'm trying to find all of Sharky's friends... Rarity and I are arranging a funeral for him..."

"Huh, that's weird..."

"It's weird that we're having a funeral?"

"No, every time I think about Sharky being dead, I get this weird feeling..."

"... Sadness?"

"What's that?"

"Nevermind... Well, it'll be happening next Tuesday... will you be there?"

"Sure... what's Tuesday?"

"... How long were you in that forest?"

"13 years."

"When did you first get in it?"

"When I was 5."

"... Oh my... Well, just remember that Tuesday is in 5 days, not including today alright?"

"Ok, I'm sure I'll make it. Well... do you mind if I walk with you for awhile? I don't exactly have a ton of things to do..."

"Sure, I don't mind..." Together they continued towards the practice field.

"Wow! She's really good!" Blaze exclaimed as he watched Rainbow Dash fly loops around the field. Fluttershy nodded.

"Yeah, she's the fastest pegasus in Equestria! Only one pony has ever beaten her..."

"Huh? If she's the fastest pegasus in Equestria, how did somepony beat her?"

"Well, she was beat by Sharky... Technically he's not a pegasus..."

"Ah, loopholes, fantastic!" Rainbow Dash spotted them watching her practice, and she flew down to them.

"Hey guys..." She sounded oddly sad.

"What's wrong Dash?" Fluttershy asked.

"It's... nothing... I just still miss Sharky... It's easy to not think about him when Scootaloo's around... but now that she's at school..." Fluttershy nodded slowly.

"I miss him too... Well, I came here to tell you about his funeral. It's next Tuesday, ok?"

"Yeah... I'll be there... Jus don't tell Scootaloo he's dead 'kay? She thinks he's on a trip..."

"Ok Dash, I won't tell her..."

"Oh, and it's cool if Gilda comes too right?" Rainbow Dash asked nonchalantly. Fluttershy's jaw dropped.

"... GILDA?!"

"DEAR GOD I'M GOING TO DIE... AGAIN!!!" I was still running from the Shinra S.O.L.I.D.E.R.s, and dodging lightning bolts as I ran. One had caught me in my left shoulder, and I couldn't feel my arm at all. We had been running for quite some time, but I wasn't getting tired for some reason. Maybe the miasma was effecting me already.

Geez I hope that's not what's happening. I REALLY don't want to go through severe genetic mutations... I thought to myself. Another lightning bolt flashed right by my head and snapped me back to reality.

"Oh, right, running... CRAP!!!" I continued my sprint, but my pursuers had almost caught me. I knew I wasn't going to last much longer, but then I heard the roar of a motorcycle out of nowhere, and a black motorcycle with a rider dressed mostly in black flew off the nearest cliff and landed inbetween me and the S.O.L.I.D.E.R.s. The rider pulled a huge sword off of his back and stepped off his motorcycle towards me. The first things I noticed were his spikey blonde hair and his piercing blue eyes.

"They Shinra?" He asked lowly. I nodded with my mouth open in pure shock. "Huh, great. Stand back." He turned and faced the S.O.L.I.D.E.R.s, holding out his blade towards them. Cloud had come to my rescue.

Life

Fang bared his teeth at Gilda as she jumped at him. He leapt to the side and Gilda's talons struck only air. Fang whipped back around to face his opponent and rammed her side with his shoulder before she could readjust herself from her swing. Gilda wasn't seriously hurt, but she slid back a few feet.

"AH! Huh, a tough one aren't ya?" Gilda crouched down in another battle stance. "Well, I'm earning my breakfast today..." She assumed a more flexible attack stance and started slowly circling Fang. Fang crouched down in return and matched her pace step for step. Without warning, Fang dashed at Gilda, raking his claws across her face and bounding away before she could react. Gilda touched her left cheek in shock and felt blood. "Y-you... You're gonna pay for that!" She dashed at Fang, using her wings to get extra speed. Fang tried to jump out of the way again, but Gilda managed to rake his right foreleg as she passed. He let out a small yelp as a little blood began to trickle down his leg. Gilda hadn't had time to turn after her charge, so Fang lept at her and bit down on her right wing as hard as he could near the base of her shoulder. Gilda let out an eagle-like cry of pain.

"Yeah, Gilda." Rainbow Dash said absentmindedly.

"T-that big, mean gryffin is here?! No! She scares me!" Fluttershy crouched down and began shaking. She covered her head with her forehooves.

"No! It's ok Fluttershy! Gilda's acting a lot nicer now!" Rainbow Dash tried to console her.

"H-how can she be nice?! H-have y-you forgotten she got Sharky killed?!"

"No! She didn't! Sharky was her friend!" Fluttershy's head popped up from the ground and she moved her forelegs away from her face.

"W-what?"

"Gilda was friends with Sharky..."

"Bu-buh... W-... how?!"

"Yeah... Sharky was her friend... They had gotten into a bar fight and he fell through the clouds..."

"... but that means... it's his fault he died..." Fluttershy whispered. Rainbow Dash flinched.

"I... I hadn't thought of it that way..." Rainbow Dash admitted. "But... I guess... You're right..." Both the girls stood in silence for a while until Blaze loudly interrupted.

"WELL! This is akward... Imma go back into the forest now!" He flapped his wings and took off towards Everfree forest.

"Bye Blaze!" Fluttershy shouted after him. "Well... I suppose if you say Gilda is nice now... She can come too... I'll trust you. Well... If you don't mind, I still have to find Pinkie Pie and tell her about the funeral..." Fluttershy mumbled sadly. Rainbow Dash wiped a fresh tear off her cheek.

"Yeah, go ahead... I have to get back to practicing anyway..." Rainbow Dash took off before Fluttershy could say another word. Fluttershy turned to leave the practice field and find Pinkie Pie, when she bounded up out of nowhere.

"Hi Fluttershy! I've been following you to hear about this funeral thingy! I'm gonna tell you, you don't need to do it! I'm gonna find a way to make him not dead! I'll go if I don't make him not dead before Tuesday, but I problably will, so don't expect to even have a funeral ok?" Pinkie Pie then bounded away before Fluttershy could respond.

"... O-ok?" Fluttershy mumbled dully. "I... I guess I'll go discuss the funeral details with Rarity then..." She turned to Ponyville and started trotting off slowly.

"Eeyupp, good ole' forest! Sure is some kick-ass training!" Blaze grinned as he used his horn to make himself stronger. His aura surrounded himself from his bent horn and he charged at a tree. He bent his head right before he rammed the tree, and he impacted it with a resounding crack. "TIMBER!" He shouted as the tree stated it's decent towards the ground, breaking the limbs of nearbly trees as it fell. It hit the ground with a huge thud. Blaze trotted over and stood on top of the now downed tree. "Dammit I'm lonely." He muttered. Then he heard an eagle cry from the nearby trees. "SOCIAL ACTIVITY!" He shouted gleefully as he ran towards the sound. He broke into a clearing to find Fang latched onto the wing of some eagle-lion thing. "Hi Fang! Make a new friend?" The gryffin turned to look at him, and the wolf's eyes locked onto him as well.

"Well?! Don't just stand there! Help me kill this crazy w-- are those dragon wings?" Gilda asked, sheer shock dulling her pain.

"Yeah, you know. Dad was a dragon, mom was a mare. I never really asked many questions about that..." He shuddered. "Anyway, you two know each other?" He guestured to Fang gnawing on Gilda's wing. Gilda's jaw dropped.

"ARE YOU BUCKING STUPID?! He is chewing on my wing!!!" Blaze frowned.

"So you aren't playing?"

"NO!!! I was trying to eat him!! He won't die though!"

"Well duh! Heh, what kinda moron tries to eat Sharky's pet and expect to have him die easy?"

"... Did you just say Sharky's pet?"

"Well yeah, he's the only one around here with a pet wolf named Fang. That I know at least, I don't spend much time with other ponies though, so I guess there could be more..." Fang continued to gnaw on Gilda's wing.

"... Can you get him off me?"

"Sure, Fang? Can you please stop eating this nice... thing's wing?" Fang released Gilda's wing and trotted over to Blaze. "So sir or madam, what the heck are you?" Baze asked. Gilda turned red.

"Sir OR madam?! Why I oughtta..." Blaze turned away from her.

"Eh, I'm bored now. I'll talk to you later thingy!" He shouted over his shoulder. Gilda was about to jump at him, but he turned around a tree and disappeared. Gilda scratched her head in confusion, then sighed. Fang was still sitting next to where Blaze had been. Gilda looked at him.

"Sooo... Uh... Sorry about the whole... trying to eat you thing... It was really your fault for walking alone in the woods you know..." Fang growled at her again. "Hey! Look, I was just trying to say I'm sorry! I'm just hungry ok?!" Fang nodded and loped off a short distance into the woods. Gilda turned to take off. "Stupid mutt..." She mumbled to herself. Then Fang popped up again and dropped a dead rabbit in front of her. She halted in mid takeoff, dumbfounded. She looked the the rabbit, then back to Fang. Fang was gesturing towards the rabbit with his head. "F... For me?" Gilda asked hesitantly. Fang nodded vigerously. Gilda's beak tilted up into a small smile. "Thanks... I guess you aren't as lame as I thought..."

Over the course of the next few days, not much happened. Fluttershy and Rarity managed to finish planning the funeral and have it all setup by Tuesday. Rainbow Dash, Scootaloo, and Gilda spent most of their time together or crusading. Blaze and Fang began to travel together through the forest. Blaze would have moved into his new house by now, but Twilight still didn't have enough focus to cast the stone-shaping spell for him and finish off the house. Pinkie Pie spent all her time using various methods to revive Sharky. One such method was a trip to Canterlot to take some phoenix down from Celestia's pet. Then she realized she didn't have Sharky's body, so they wouldn't be useful at all. Shadow didn't talk to many ponies, he stayed out in the orchards or in his room, constantly working. Applejack tried to stop him, but he flew somewhere else to work whenever she found him. Unity had stopped eating since Monday afternoon, and no matter what Twilight and Spike did, they couldn't get him to drink his milk or his bottle. Finally, Tuesday afternoon was upon them. Rainbow Dash had asked for it to be during school hours so Scootaloo wouldn't find out about Sharky. Rarity had agreed seeing as how she didn't want to tell Sweetiebelle either. All the ponies that had been invited showed up, dressed in black. Twilight's eyes still held no focus, Rariy wouldn't stop talking about how unecessesary it was, Pinkie kept talking about all the new ideas she had to make Sharky alive, and all the others were somber and quiet. The only two not dressed in black were Blaze and Fang. Within a few minutes after they all arrive, and elderly gray pony trotted in front of the empty coffin and started the ceremony. Everypony quieted down and turned to him.

The solider with materia blasted Cloud with a lightning bolt before he could take another step forward. Smoke billowed out from the impact and I gave a small gasp. Then the smoke cleared, and Cloud was still standing solid as a rock, not even a slight sign of damage.

"Thundraga materia huh?" Cloud asked lightly. "Gonna have to do better than that..." He gripped the blade in front of him with both hands, and pulled a thin longsword away from the main sword so that he had the main sword in his right hand and the small blade in his left.. He leapt clear over his motorcycle and into the air over the S.O.L.I.D.E.R.s. They all crouched down and lifted various blades up to meet Cloud. He swung the larger blade down at his foes, knocking most of their blades to the side. He swung his lower body around and planted his foot firmly into the side of the head of the enemy below him. He flew over the heads of his comrades and landed a few feet away from the group. Cloud landed in the spot that the solider he had kicked had previously been standing in. A foe on Cloud's right side swung his blade at Cloud's neck as he landed, but Cloud blocked it with the larger blade and stabbed him through the stomach with his small sword. As cloud turned to stab the first enemy, two on his left quickly thrust their blades towards his exposed side. They both stabbed into him slightly, but he didn't even seem to care. He brought his elbow down on their blades, slamming their hands holding the swords into the ground. He pulled his small sword out of the other solider's gut and quickly turned and cut the throats of the ones that had stabbed him. The materia solider pointed his hand at the back of Cloud's head and began to cast the spell, but Cloud whipped around, grabbed his hand, and pressed it against the solider's chin. The lightning bolt flashed through his head, killing him instantly. At this point, the other soliders were looking unsure about continuing the fight. Another lunged a his exposed back, but Cloud jumped clear into the air again. He came down and brought the edge of the larger blade down on the offending solider's head. He was sliced clean in half. The other soliders all turned and ran at the same time. Cloud pulled the swords out of his side and threw them at the fleeing guards, impaling two of them, one with each sword. He gave the rest of the guards an uniterested glace. "Whatever." He turned to me, my mouth hanging open in a mixture of amazement and fear.

"... Holy f***..." I muttered dumbly. Cloud lifted his larger blade and pointed it at me. I almost pissed my pants.

"Now, who are you?" He asked coldly.

"What's it to ya jackass?" Sharky White! My name is Sharky White!" I yelled. Cloud tilted his head and kept his sword pointed at me.

"... Right... Why are there Shinra agents chasing you?"

"I broke out of a Shinra lab! Now go fuck yourself." Cloud looked even more confused and lowered the blade a little.

"You know, you really shouldn't insult me. Now, what were you doing in a Shinra lab?"

"None of your fucking buisness. I have no idea! One moment I was falling to my death, then boom! I was in a testing chamber in a Shinra lab!" Cloud started to look angry and he pointed the blade at me again.

"Watch it! Where did you come from?"

"Your mom's bed. Look, you may not believe me, but I'm from another world!" Cloud's face twisted with confusion.

"Alright, why do you keep doing that?"

"Doing what?"

"That thing where you change your voice and act like a jerk."

"... What the heck are you talking about? Idiot." Cloud shook his head and let out a heavy breath. He lowered the sword, combined the two blades and placed the blade on his back.

"Whatever. So, from another world huh? What world?" He asked sarcastically. He walked around the bodies of the soliders, occasionally searching them as he passed. He picked up the thundraga materia which had popped out of the dead solider's arm.

"Well, I was on Earth, but then I was in a place called Equestria, and now I'm here. Like a boss." Cloud snorted.

"Yeah, ok. You want this materia? I don't need it." He held up the little yellow stone.

"F*** yes I want it!" He tossed it to me and I caught it in my right hand. I opened my hand to look at it, but instead all I saw was a yellow light shining dully through my skin. "So... how do I use this?" Cloud looked at me skeptically.

"You really aren't from around here are you? Just point and say 'thundraga'." I held my arm out towards a nearby rock.

"Thundraga!" I shouted. A bright bolt of lightning lanced from my hand and shattered the rock. "Freakin' awesome!" I grinned. Then a light flased into my eyes. I looked up for the source, and I saw a glint coming from a cliff pointing towards Midgar. "Hey! Is Angeal's sword up there?!" Cloud gave me another confused look.

"Who's Angeal?"

"Oh, right. Is Zack's sword up there?" Cloud narrowed his eyes.

"How do you know about Zack?"

"I played Crisis Core on Earth. I know more about Zack then you do." I started walking towards the cliff.

"... What?"

"Nothing, just rambling." I walked all the way to and up the cliff, finally reaching the legendary sword embedded in the ground. Far off in the distance, the sunlight reflected off the the ruins of Midgar.

"Hey! Get away from that!" Cloud shouted. I turned to look behind me, and he had followed me up the cliff.

"Why would you allow Zack's sword to rust?" I asked him angrily. He flinched. I guess he didn't expect anger from me.

"What? Why does it matter to you?"

"Because this is Angeal's blade! The few things he never wanted to happen to it were wear, tear, and rust! Up here it gets all three! You should at least come here and polish it once in awhile or something ya jackass!"

"Who is Angeal?!" The Buster Sword suddenly began flashing. I turned to look at it, and Cloud gasped.

"What the...?" On the side of the blade, there was an image. It was a picture of Unity, Fang, Gilda, Twilight, Applejack, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Luna, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Shadow, and Blaze all huddled in a group. They were all crying. "Hey! Those are my friends!" I shouted in recognition.

"Y-your what?!" Cloud asked in shock. The image was getting progressively brighter and seemed to be reaching out for me. I ran over to the sword and grabbed the hilt. "Hey! What do you think you're doing?!"

"I've got no idea!" I pulled the sword from the ground and held it in front of me to better see the picture. With that, I got the strangest sensation of movement and the light wrapped itself around me. In a flash, I was gone.

I let my eyes adjust as the light faded from the sword. The blade was suprisingly light despite it's size. I would still need two hands to use it to any effect at all, but lighter than one would think. My eyes readjusted to the new level of light, and I realized I was standing in Twilight's bedroom.

"What the... I don't even..." Some happy gurgling distracted me, and I looked down to see Unity laying in his bed with a sleepy smile. "You... you did this huh? Well... I'm not even gonna bother to stop and think about it 'cause my brain will explode." Unity fell asleep as I talked. I laid the Buster Sword on the ground and knelt to kiss his head goodnight. Then I stood back up and lazily positioned the Buster Sword on my shoulder. "Well... I can either run away now or go back to my friends..." I remebered the conditions I had originally left Ponyville in. "Well... I think it's time I manned up. I'm not gonna leave again." I walked downstairs to the main part of the library. "Twilight! Twilight I'm back!" I shouted. No response. I shrugged. She problably went to get some groceries or something. I left the library. To my suprise, off in the distance was a large gathering of ponies in the middle of a mostly empty field. They were all dressed in black, and there was a coffin at the front of the group. "Oh wow... I didn't hear about anypony dieing..." I took off towards the group. I noticed that all the girls, Gilda, Fang, Blaze, and Stormy were all in the group. I walked up to the back of the group.

"May his soul rest in peace..." An elderly looking gray pony at the front said.

"Hey! Who died?!" I asked loudly. Everypony in the group jumped about three feet off the ground and slowly turned towards me.

Explaining is for Suckers

All of them stared at me, their mouths hanging open dumbly. I looked back at them, getting more confused by the minute.

"What? Who died? Seriously!" I asked again, not sure if they had understood me the first time. Then Rarity shouted and jumped a few feet off the ground.

"Ha! I told you all!" She gloated. She started doing a victory dance where she jumped from hoof to hoof while pumping her forelegs in the air. Which only made me more confused.

"Am I in the wrong Equestria? Dang it Unity! Well... any Equestria is good I guess." I mumbled to myself. My own thoughts slightly confused me. It's like my thought process was only half mine recently. Twilight stood up from where she was. She trotted over to me, mouth still hanging open.

"A... Are y-you a ghost?" She asked quietly. I frowned.

"What are you talking about? Yeah, I'm dead. Deal with it." Twilight gasped as I spoke. She slowly lifted a trembling hoof up and moved it forward to touch my leg. She poked my armored pants and yelped in shock.

"Y-you're real!"

"Yeah, I'm real. You have a firm grasp of the obvious. Why would I not be real?" Gilda stood up and approached me next. She poked me like Twilight had.

"I-it's not p-possible... I saw you hit the ocean!" Gilda gasped dazedly. My frown deepened, then I realized what she was talking about.

"Ohhh! I see, you thought I... and now... so this funeral... it's mine?" I slowly realized what had happened. Then three pegasi hit me in the gut for a hug-tackle. RD, Shy, and Shadow were all locking their hooves around my middle. I was still standing somehow. In fact, the impact didn't even really knock me back.

"Y-you're alive?!" Fluttershy asked hesitantly. She was looking up at me while hugging my waist.

"Yeah! Wait, why did you guys think I was dead? I understand why Gilda woul-- Wait a bucking second what's Gilda doing here?! Geez! Gone for one day..." I muttered. RD looked up at me angrily.

"One day?! You left us to think you were dead for a whole week!!" I gave her a confused look.

"Bitch learn to tell time. What do you mean a week? I was gone for less than a whole day!"

"What did you just call me?!" RD asked angrily.

"You're ok... you're alive..." Shadow's soft sobbing distracted us. "You're alive Sharky... I thought you were dead... like Blade..."

"Uhh... yeah.. me and Blade... I'm alive... Wow... I'm so sorry guys... I didn't mean to scare you... Explain this 'gone for a week thing'."

"You left us... You left us for a whole seven days..." Twilight spoke up. Her voice was dull at first, but it was quickly becoming angry. "You LEFT me! You left again! I thought it was for good this time!" She was quickly becoming enraged. Spike was happy that she was finally showing emotion, but worried for Sharky at the same time. I saw her anger and quickly pulled the pegasi off my waist and set them down. "Y-y-you... You JERK! You keep making me worry about you! I thought you were dead! You left me forever! Why would you do that?!" She charged at me and knocked me over with magic. I tossed the Buster Sword to the side as she charged so I wouldn't get hurt in the fall. I hit the ground and she jumped on my chest. "You keep leaving me! Why?! Why do you do that?! WHY?!" She started hitting me with little magic blasts across my body. They had the same amount of force as a punch from a full-grown man back on Earth, but they didn't hurt me as much as they should've. Regardless, I sat there and took the beating, letting her wear herself out.

I'm not usually one to understand emotions... I thought to myself as Twilight wailed on me. But something tells me that she's upset and interrupting this would be very bad for me... To my suprise, Twilight was sobbing as she beat me. Tears ran off her face and landed on my chest as the blows gradually slowed down. Twilight finished her rage with one last blow to my face, then she collapsed on my chest and just cried.

"You're alive..." She sobbed. I started gently stroking her mane. Then I heard some happy yipping and a broad grin crossed my face. Fang bounded over to my face and started licking me vigerously.

"Heh, hey boy..." I said quietly so I didn't disturb Twilight. He started rubbing his face against my cheek happily.

"Praise Celestia, for she has brought a lost soul back unto us!" The elderly gray pony next to my coffin cheered. "I simply must tell everypony about this!" He charged off in the direction of the town. Twilight was still crying, but she lifted her head off my chest and was looking at me.

"You're really here Sharky! I missed you!" RD walked up next to me. She was crying too.

"I... I missed you too... I know you don't want us to be sad... but I was really upset... I'm so sorry..." Fluttershy mumbled. I pulled each of the girls in with one of my arms and hugged them close. Rarity popped her head just over me and looked into my eyes.

"I simply knew you were fine Sharky! I believed in you!" I grinned at her and reached up to pull her head down. I pressed he head to mine.

"Thanks for believing in me Rarity. I can't tell you how much it means to me..." Then I frowned. "Wait, did that guy just say Celestia? Hey, do Luna and Celestia believe I'm dead too?" I asked. Twilight sniffled and wiped her eyes. She nodded slowly.

"They were the ones that told us you had died..." She whispered slowly.

"Oh crap! That means Luna problably released a report of some kind that said I was dead! I gotta tell her now!" I reached past the girls to the coin pouch secured at my hip. I reached inside and pulled out my iPhone. I half expected it to not work because it had been wet, but it wasn't really electric, so it worked fine. I hit the Luna dial button, and it rang for a few moments, longer than I'd ever had to wait before, then she picked up the call. Her face faded into view, and she looked pissed.

"What foul gryffin has stolen the calling device of our forme-- No... No, it can't be you..." Luna started off angry, but she quickly turned to shock as she realized who I was.

"I'm afraid it is. Looks like you're gonna have to put me back on the payroll Luna." I teased with a smile. Her mouth was still hanging open.

"Thou... thou art dead... we saw thou fall to thine death! You were impossible to locate with any magic we tried! H-how?!"

"Yeah we get it. I'm not dead, get over it ya little-- I blame Unity." I answered.

"Wha... but..." Luna started. Then Blaze sneezed and blew my phone to hell. My jaw dropped. I turned to look at him.

"Well bless you!" I said, a tint of anger in my voice. He blushed.

"Uh... sorry... excuse me?" About that time, I realized Rarity's mane was now on fire.

"Oh crap! Rarity! Your mane!" She had already noticed, and she was furiously beating her mane with her hooves to try and put out the fire. I stood abrubtly, knocking everypony away from me on accident. I patted out the flames with my hands, quickly extinguishing the fire.

"No! My mane! My beautiful mane!" Rarity wailed.

"Oh! I'm so sorry miss!" Blaze shouted quickly. Rarity quickly turned on him in one quick move.

"Y.. you... you...! Ugh... I know you didn't mean it..." Rarity slumped down. "My mane... that was my best quality..." She mumbled sadly. Her curls had all burned off, and all that was left was a rough mohawk. I knealt down next to her.

"Now that's ridiculous! Look, you have plenty of other good qualities! Besides, I'm sure a stylist could fix this right up.. with extensions or something, I don't know."

"Yes, were we in Canterlot! Nopony here has the expertise!" She wailed sadly. It actually physically hurt to see Rarity like this. Either that, the pure heartbreak from the past few minutes, the magic beating, or my burnt hands. One of those was definitely hurting by now.

"Look... I still need to take you out anyway right? Look, here soon, I'll take you to Canterlot and we can get your mane fixed. Ok?" She sniffled and looked up at me.

"Promise?"

"Yes. Now..." I turned back to all the ponies I had left behind. They were all looking at me with mixtures of relief, sadness, and shock "Who else wants to attack me or question me or the like? Because I really wanna sleep..." I was purely exhausted from my fight with the gryffins all the way to my running from the Shinra soliders. Interdimensional travel really wears you out.

"Uh... Yeah Sharky..." Gilda spoke up. "Are you on fire?" She pointed to my right hand. I looked at my hand and realized she was asking about the materia in my hand. I grinned.

"No, not on fire. I've just got some magic of my own now... Lemme show you..." I walked away from the ponies a short distance, then pointed at a rock. "Thundraga!" I shouted. Above the rock, thick, black stormclouds instantly formed and flashed towards the rock. Before the rock exploded though, the lightning bolt turned and flew right at Stormy, hitting him square in the head. He flew back a few feet and hit the ground, totally still. I immediately rushed over to him. "STORMY! Are you ok?!" He slowly wobbled up and swayed dizzily.

"Wow... I haven't taken a bolt like THAT in awhile..." He spun a few more times before shaking his head an gaining his balance. "Yeah... I'm fine. Nice to see you again by the way Sharky." My jaw dropped.

"... So... that's it? You just stand back up?" I asked. Stormy nodded.

"Eeyup, pretty much. Why?"

"Dude... boss. Anyway, sorry about that, it worked different in the other world..."

"What? Other world?" Applejack asked. "Fer land's sakes, what are ya talkin' about?"

"Oh, right. Well, the short version is I ran away from some bad guys, a really good fighter saved my life and gave me this magic. Then I grabbed that giant sword and poof I was back here." I pointed to the Buster Sword. "Now f*** off, I'm goin to bed." I turned and started walking towards the library.

"What did he just tell me ta do?" Apple jack asked.

"Hey! Wait! We still wanna talk to you!" Twilight shouted. Gilda, RD, Twilight, Fluttershy, and Rarity all took off after me.

"I'd love to talk some more gilrs, but *yawn* I'm exhausted!" I stooped over and picked up the Buster Sword as I walked. The girls still trotted behind me. "Look, I promise I'll answer any other questions later, but right now... I gotta sleep..."

"Promise?" RD asked.

"I promise. Now..." I walked into the library, placed the Buster Sword in a corner, and curled up next to a bookshelf. In an instant, Fang was curled up next to me. I smiled and scratched his head. "G'night buddy..." I looked up to the girls that had followed me into the library. "G'night girls... Glad to be back..." Twilight was the first to trot over to me. She curled up next to me.

"... I'm so happy you're back Sharky... You still have a ton of questions to answer though..." I smiled.

"Of course... Say, you aren't sleeping too are you? 'Cause it's like the middle of the day..."

"Oh... uh... I haven't been sleeping well lately..."

"Me either..." Fluttershy trotted over and laid down too. I looked to the other girls.

"Well, tell Scootaloo and Sweetiebelle I said hi... and Gilda, tell your dad he can die in a hole while being sodomized by gigantic... zzzzzzzzzzzzzz." I fell asleep in a matter of seconds. I was vaguely aware of the girls talking a little, but I don't remeber much else.

In what seemed like only a few minutes later, I was woken up by a loud knocking at the door. I grumbled and slowly removed myself from the sleeping ponies and wolf. I don't know why they were still asleep, but oh well. I trudged to the door and opened it. It was dark outside, but I could still tell the day had only just now ended. Outside, a huge group of ponies was waiting for me.

"Look! It's true! He is alive!" I heard a voice shout. Before I could move, I was bombarded by camera flashes and tons of questions. Just great.

Steven

By the way, it's Tuesday the 21st of January. Just thought you'd like to know.

"Are you a ghost come back to this world?"

"Maybe he's a zombie! Would you happen to be a zombie Mr. White?"

"Nonsense! I was told he was an angel! Mr. White, can you confirm reports of you being an angel?" The reporters flooded me with questions, but when one of them asked if I was an angel...

"BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! ....no. I am not an angel." The reporters had been still asking questions, but as soon as I started talking, they all went silent. "Also not a zombie and not a ghost. I am just alive."

"Well that's exactly what we'd expect an angel to say!" The same reporter shouted.

"No! Look, I'm not an angel! Not a zombie! Nothing but a normal human!"

"Are humans immortal Mr. White?" One of the reporters asked.

"No, I can die fairly easily."

"Then how do you explain falling from a thousand feet in the air and surviving?" Another reporter asked right as I finished talking.

"Uhh... I was transported to another world instead of dying..." This statement was met by a huge flurry of questions and camera flashes.

"You expect us to believe that Mr. White?" One reporter asked sarcastically.

"Yeah! Do you take us for fools? What are you Mr. White? If humans die easy, what does that make you?"

"Are you SURE you're not an angel?"

"I don't expect you to believe it, but it is the truth. Yes you are all fools, I don't think you're fools, and I am a human! No, I'm not an angel!!!" I responded. Another flurry of flashes.

"Why did you change your voice Mr. White?"

"Why are you suddenly acting cross with us?"

"Are you really sure you're not an angel?! You do heroic deeds all the time and you can't die!"

"Why are you holding out your arm Mr. White?" I raised my arm and pointed off a short distance away at a bare patch of land.

"Thundraga!" Stormclouds formed instantly and the ground blasted away as the lightning struck. The reporters all screamed and shut up really fast. The camera flashes and questions came to an immediate halt. "Now, please stop this... I'm not an angel, I'm not immortal, and I'm not worth this kind of attention! Please, just leave me alone? Or I'll blow your freaking heads off." The reporters screamed and ran off. I scratched my head in confusion.

"Sharky! Why would you threaten them like that?!" Twilight yelled behind me. I turned around, and her and Fluttershy were staring at me in confusion.

"Huh? What do you mean? I just asked them to leave..."

"Yeah! Then threatened to kill them!" I tilted my head in confusion.

"I didn't say anything about killing them... No, I did." Twilight jumped and gave me a confused look.

"Sharky... what's going on?" Fluttershy asked with fear in her voice. I frowned.

"I wanna know the same thing! Why is everypony acting so strange around me?"

"We're acting strange?! Sharky, you just threatened to blow those reporters' heads off!" Twilight countered. I frowned.

"What are you talking about? I would never say something like that! He's right. I would." Twilight and Fluttershy began to look even more confused.

"Sharky... Something is wrong..." Fluttershy said timidly.

"Damn right something's wrong, you're still here. Well I wanna know what's going on! Why are you two freaking out!?" Fluttershy flinched and shrank back.

"W-why would you say something like that?" There was pain in her voice.

"Hold on Fluttershy... I have a theory..." Twilight mumbled to her. She turned to me. "What's your name?" I frowned and tilted my head in confusion.

"I'm Sharky! You know that! Well, you should already know me Twilight... It's Steven." Twilight gasped and started backing away from me.

"Oh no... this is bad... this is very bad..."

"What? Why did he say Steven?" Fluttershy asked. My frown deepened.

"Wait, how do you know about Steven?" I asked. "He only shows up in my dreams... Unless there's a pony Steven that I don't know... but why would you be talking about a pony Steven?"

"Oh no... no no no no... What have I done?!" Twilight yelled.

"What? What's wrong Twilight? Finally realized you lived as a loner your whole life?" Twilight flinched.

"Watch it Steven!" She chided. I frowned.

"Why are you calling me Steven? I thought you agreed to call me Sharky?"

"Twilight... Sharky is scaring me... what's wrong with him?" Fluttershy asked quietly.

"How am I scaring you Fluttershy? Not that it's hard ya cowardly--"

"I think I released Steven from Sharky's mind!" Twilight interrupted. I was getting tired of frowning.

"What are you talking about? How do you know about Steven? What's going on?" Twilight flinched and slowly turned to me. She inhaled deeply and sighed.

"Sharky... I have a confession... I went inside your dreams... and I think I released Steven..."

"............ YOU WHAT?!?!? WHAT DID YOU SEE?!" I wasn't mad, just extremely worried about what I might have exposed her to.

"Oh... uh... nothing much... I just talked to you and Steven... and myself..." I let out a sigh of relief.

"Don't go into my mind Twilight. I'm not mad this time... but Celestia knows what you'll find in there... Wait, why were you in my dreams anyway? What do you mean released Steven? Bitch stay the fuck outta my head or I'll kill ya!" Both the girls flinched at me. "Well geez, I just said I wasn't mad..."

"Sharky... Steven can talk through you now. He keeps saying mean things... I think it's my fault he can do that..."

"Wait... Steven is all my bad qualities... and he talk through me? Oh my god..." I fell backwards and smacked into a wall. I leaned into the wall and sank to the floor. "So... every time somepony was freaking out and saying I said something bad... Oh no... What do we do?!? Damn right it's your fault! Thanks for releasing me, now I can finally have some fun!"

"So... Steven is Sharky? Or Sharky is Steven? I'm sorry... but I'm confused..." Fluttershy interrupted.

"Steven was a part of Sharky. I accidentally let him talk through Sharky. I don't know what we can do!" Twilight started pacing.

"So... Why can't I hear Steven?" I asked.

"I don't know! I messed up! I don't even know if this has ever happened before! I basically gave you magic multiple personality disorder!"

"... Oh well, guess we just roll on." Twilight and Fluttershy both gave me looks of disbelief.

"What do you mean?! We can't just ignore this!" Fluttershy flutteryelled.

"I don't see why not. All he can do is talk right? Then we just tell everypony about him and ignore him when he talks. Problem solved."

"B-buh... What about ponies you don't know? You'll freak them out!" Twilight countered. I shrugged.

"Oh well. Little bastards can get over it or GTFO." Both the girls jumped slightly. "Steven just talked didn't he?"

"... Yes... We need to get rid of him." Twilight said firmly.

"Ok, if he's that big of a deal... Well, what do we do?"

"I... don't know... I could look for a spell..."

"A spell to cure MPD? Good luck with that... Well... What do I do until then? Is it safe for me to go around like normal or is Steven really that bad?"

"If you don't mind me saying... He's really bad Sharky..." Fluttershy offered quietly.

"You better take that back ya little bitch!" Fluttershy curled up and put her forelegs over her head. "Wow, I guess he's really that bad... So does that mean I'm stuck in the library?" Twilight nodded.

"For your own good, you should stay here... We don't want you freaking everypony out after all..."

"... Well crap. That doesn't sound very fun... Oh well... It'll give me time to polish up the Buster Sword I suppose..."

"Yes, I've been meaning to ask about that... Why do you have a giant sword? If you don't mind explaining..." Fluttershy asked.

"Well, I guess that means we're done talking about Steven. I got it in the other world I went to. It used to belong to a... to a great hero... Anyway, I think it would be a legendary weapon, so it'll help me when I have to hunt things like Ursa Minors." Twilight had already magically pulled a few books off the shelves and was reading, but as soon as I said 'hunt', she ran over and got really close to my face.

"No! No leaving! You aren't hunting any more! I won't let you leave me again!!!"

"I do what I want. Sorry Twilight, but I have to keep hunting. That last Ursa almost destroyed a whole town! If I can even save one more pony's life by fighting monsters, I'll do it! Don't try to stop me."

"I won't let you! You can't leave anymore! I won't lose you again!"

"You won't! Twilight, I'm much stronger than I was before!"

"You don't know that! How could you get stronger in such a short time?!"

"Easy, I now have a giant sword, some minor magic steroids, and oh yeah, I can make lightning."

"... Oh... well... that doesn't mean you can't die! I still don't want you risking your life!"

"Too bad! I have to Twilight! It's for the greater good of Equestria! Luna and Celestia themselves said I'm one of the few knights able to fight these monsters!"

"That doesn't mean you can go and die! You don't even know these ponies you risk your life for! Why do you do it?!"

"Because they all mean more than I do!!" I shouted back at her. She jumped back in shock. Tears started running down my face.

"W... What kind of nonsense is that?!" Fluttershy interrupted. "You mean just as much as anypony else!"

"No, I don't... You girls don't understand... I have nopony girls... Everypony out there... they have family, homes, lives they need to be a part of... I... I lost it all... If I were to die for real right now, in a short time everypony would be over my death. Unity wouldn't remember me, Fang would be fine... he's a tough wolf. You girls... I'm your friend... but in reality you'd get over my death soon enough..."

"Sharky... What do you mean? We all love you! Of course we'd miss you!" Fluttershy trotted over to me and hugged me.

"Yeah.. maybe for a little while... but it wouldn't matter in the end. Get the fuck off me! My life... I would trade it to save anypony else's. Humans... they aren't the same as ponies girls. I feel like I'm a corruption of this world as it is..."

"That's crazy! If humans are all like you, they're great! I don't see why you think so little of yourself!" Twilight argued. She moved forward and hugged me too.

"Twilight... humans are terrible. Not all of them no, but a good majority... To put it in perspective... We've made an art out of killing each other. " Both the girls gasped and looked up at me.

"What?! That can't be true!" Fluttershy said.

"Oh yes. A long time ago it used to be a sport actually. We don't do that anymore, but there are still huge fights and wars and destruction..."

"S-sharky... no... well... you aren't like them! I know you! You aren't like that! You are one of the best ponies I know!" Fluttershy countered. I laughed.

"Well thanks girls... but it doesn't matter... I've got to fight for ponies. I can't just sit back and let them die... Even if I hadn't lost everything, I'd still fight for them! They mean so much to me!"

"How can they be worth your life?" Twilight asked. "Wait, what do you mean you lost eveything? Oh no... you don't want me to send you back do you?!" I laughed again, harder this time.

"Just the opposite Twilight... I never want to go back. Never. I would much rather die."

"Why would you say that?" Twilight asked. "You keep saying you never want to go back, but you always seem so sad when you talk about it. Why?" Both the girls looked at me expectantly, waiting for an explanation. I searched for a way out of answering the question, but I couldn't think of anything. I sighed deeply.

"Ok... I think it's time I told you girls what happened to me before I came here... It's... a bit sad..." They both looked at me determinedly. I sighed again. "Ok... here we go..."

Backstory

"... Did you really have to get everypony?" I asked. Twilight and Fluttershy had stopped me before I started my story and gone to get the other girls, Stormy, Shadow, Gilda, and Blaze.

"Well, everypony needs to hear this." Twilight explained. I sighed.

"Fine... Here goes." They all huddled around me in a small circle, like this was some kind of bizzare story time. "Oh, before I start, I should tell the rest of you about Steven."

"Uh... ain't that yer real name?" Applejack asked.

"Shut up! I'm talkin'! Yes, yes it is."

"What did ya just tell me?!" Applejack shouted.

"Whoa whoa! Calm down! Listen, according to Twilight, I have two personalities now, so if I say something mean and change my voice it's not really me."

"... Ah'm gonna need a mite more of an explanation than that..."

"Look, there are two of me now. One is very mean and he responds to Steven."

"Oh, is that why you kept changing your voice when I was talking to you at my place?" Gilda asked.

"Yeah, when my voice changes, I'm Steven not Sharky."

"Whoa whoa... back up, so you are really two ponies?" RD asked.

"No, I just have two people in my head. One is the real me, and the other is Steven. Just ignore Steven if he talks ok?"

"Sounds legit!" Pinkie Pie shouted. I let out a small laugh. The ponies all still seemed a little confused, but didn't press for more information.

"Ok, well... Here's my story girls... My life was actually really good back on my old world. I was in college, a school that is for--"

"We know about colleges Sharky." Twilight interrupted.

"Bitch don't cut me off! Oh, you do? Huh, sorry. Wasn't sure if you had them here. Anyway, I was doing really well... then I met a girl." RD, Twilight, Fluttershy, and Rarity all seemed to lean in closer. "We started dating... we went out for about two years... A few times she tried to push our relation ship to the 'next level', but I refused because the last thing I had promised my parents was that I'd be abstinent. I wonder if I made a mistake with that... anyway, on our two year anniversary, I had decided to propose to her. My grandmother had given me her engagement ring, the same one I gave you Rarity." Rarity's eyes widened as she realized what I had given her. "She was taking a vacation to Italy on that day, so I flew to her to propose."

"Wait, I thought that humans can't fly!" RD countered.

"Nah, we made these giant metal birds to carry us around. Let me finish talking and I'll explain little details like that ok? Anyway, I showed up at her hotel to propose. The staff gave me her room number, and when I got there, the door was left open.... so I walked inside and.... and... and..."

"And what?" Pinkie asked.

"She was fucking another man! I don't know if I can actually say it..." Tears started forming in my eyes again. All the ponies gasped and rocked back. Except Gilda. She just gasped.

"I... haven't even told you yet..."

"S-sharky... That's terrible!" Fluttershy wailed. She flew over and hugged my waist. "N-no wonder it makes you sad!"

"... I still haven't told you..."

"Steven said it! Thats so horrible Sharky!" Twilight explained. She trotted over and hugged me too. The rest of the ponies all trotted over and embraced me. Even Gilda.

"Thank you... but that's not even the worst part..." They all looked up at me in shock.

"I-it gets worse?! Oh dear!" Rarity shouted. I nodded somberly.

"On my way back to the... metal bird to take me home... I got three phone calls. You know, on something like the thing I use to talk to Luna." They nodded in understanding. "On the first call... I was told I had been kicked out of my college... I had let my grades slip so I could be with her more often..." Twilight gasped.

"Sharky! That's terrible!"

"Not done. Applejack, I think you'll understand this one the most. I had worked for a very long time. I was trying to save up money so I could go and buy myself a house. I worked from the day I turned 16 until I had enough money for the down payment on my own house."

"Well... that's mighty respectable, but Ah don't see how it's a problem..." Applejack said quietly.

"I loved that house.... It was the embodiment of all my work... On that second phone call... I was told that it had been attacked by arsonists. People that burn buildings down for fun..." All the ponies present gasped audibly.

"H-humans d-do that?! That's horrible!" Shadow wailed.

"Mah gosh... Ah'm so sorry Sharky! Ah can't even imagine what it would be like if mah orchards burned down..." Applejack muttered.

"Still not done. There's one last thing..."

"I-it gets worse?!" Stormy shouted.

"Right after that... I got one last call... It was the police. My parents died in a train accident... That was the day you brought me here Twilight..." I was openly crying now. I didn't feel ashamed of the tears like I used to. Almost all my friends were crying too. Blaze looked sad, but he wasn't crying. Gilda might have been crying, but she had turned away from me, so I couldn't tell. "That day... I lost everything. I had no other family, no home to go to, my dreams of becoming a marine biologist had been destroyed, I had nopony to turn to, nowhere to go... I was alone girls... all alone..." I started shivering with sadness. Sobs from a few of the girls rocked against my body. "That... is why I will never go back. I actually had been planning on dying." Every head in the room snapped back to look at me.

"S-sharky... t-that's... horrible..." Stormy mumbled.

"I know. In a way, coming to Equestria saved my life twice over. I have never been happier then when I'm here with you guys, even at my best moments on my old world."

"R-really?" Twilight asked quietly. I started absentmindedly stroking her mane and rubbing RD's back. The contact helped to calm me down.

"Really. This place... it's the best thing that ever happened to me, no matter how many times I get the crap beaten out of me." I gave all of them a serious look. "That's why I'm so ok with risking my life. I don't matter any more..."

"Now hold on!" Blaze shouted. "That's ridiculous!"

"H-he's right dear, you mean so much to us!" Rarity agreed.

"S-sharky... Blade... he was all I had until you found me... If I lost you too..." Shadow broke down into sobs.

"Sharky... when you left... every time you leave, I'm terrifed for you! If you ever left forever... I... I don't know what I'd do..." Twilight added.

"Sharky, if it wasn't for you, Scoots would be dead! You can't just die on us, imagine if you could save somepony else by staying alive!" RD threw in.

"And what if I save more with my death?" I countered. "You all said it yourselves, you'd be sad if I was dead, yes? Now, imagine if I could save hundreds of ponies from that same sadness by fighting these monsters. Even if I died in the process, it would be worth it." Twilight and Fluttershy seemed to stop and think. The other seemed confused. "Previous argument." I explained. They nodded in understanding.

"Well... I... I guess I understand Sharky..." Twilight admitted. "But... but... I still don't want you to go..."

"Yeah! You're more use to everypony alive! You can't use this to justify risking your life!" RD agreed.

"Dear... we care for you now." Rarity offered. "You have meaning here! You can't simply tell yourself you don't matter! Your death... it would destroy us..."

"... Girls... and boys... it doesn't matter if I matter. I'm gonna do this. I... I have to. If I could've saved somepony, and I don't do it, I'd never forgive myself... Geez this crap makes me wanna puke. I'm savin' my own ass if it comes down to it."

"Sharky... what happens when you aren't strong enough to fight something?" Gilda asked.

"Ha! Won't happen! I've got a legendary weapon and my own magic now! Not to mention I'm way more damage resistant and stronger since I came back from the other world!

"Heh, and I didn't think you could be more of a bad-flank..." RD mumbled. "Well... If it's what you want... I guess we can't stop you..."

"Damn right you can't! Thanks RD..."

"I... I still don't like it... but... ok Sharky... just promise you'll always come back?" Twilight asked.

"I promise." Pinkie jumped up in my face.

"Do you Pinkie promise?" She asked.

"Uhh... sure?" I held up my pinkie finger. She gave me a confused look.

"What are you doing that for?" Pinkie asked.

"This is my pinkie. I'm pinkie promising!" I explained.

"... But... I'm Pinkie."

"Oh! The smallest finger on a human hand is called a pinkie and we wrap them together to pinkie promise in my world. I thought you meant that for some reason... Well, how do you Pinkie promise here?"

"Oh, it's easy! Just say 'cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!" She explained. She made the motions as she said it.

"God that's stupid. Ok Pinkie. I promise, cross my heart and hope to die, stick a cupcake in my eye!"

"Good! Remember, you can never break a Pinkie Promise!" She warned. I smiled.

"I won't. Now guys... I need sleep... actually, I gotta pee then sleep. Then I gotta eat and spend some time with each of you guys individually. After I spend time with Unity of course." They all seemed to shake themselves clear of thoughts.

"Oh, right. It's getting late anyway, I should get back to Scoots." RD trotted out the door, Gilda close behind. Gilda stopped at the door and turned to me.

"Sharky... stay safe kay?" With that she turned and left.

"Ah should get goin' anyway, gotta get up early ta work tomorrow anyhow. C'mon Shadow!" Applejack turned to leave as well.

"Well... just stay alive, ok Sharky? You... you mean a lot to us..." Shadow turned and followed after Applejack.

"Well, I've got a forest to train in, so I'll see you guys later!" Blaze turned and left as well.

"Well... I'd love to stay and chat some more... but Celestia knows what messes Sweetiebelle may have made already! I'll see you for that date soon Sharky! Oh, silly me, how could I forget? Don't forget to stop by the boutique soon, I've got a gift for you!" Rarity waved me goodbye and left as well.

"Well, you should get back to the Cakes Pinkie." I offered. "Pinkie?" I looked around quickly for a sign of the party pony, but she was already gone. "Huh, nevermind."

"Well, I've still got to break up what's left of that ice storm, I'll see you soon Sharky!" Stormy smiled and went off on his way as well.

"Well, I'm gonna pee. I'll see you two later." I left Twilight and Fluttershy in the main room as I left towards the bathroom. I relieved myself and took a quick shower. I was back downstairs about five minutes later, and to my suprise, Fluttershy was still at the library. "Hey, don't you have to get back to your house?" I asked her. She blushed.

"I'm still afraid of the dark..." She explained. I grinned.

"Don't worry, I don't mind taking you home." I scooped her up and walked to the door. "I'll be sleeping at Fluttershy's house Twilight! I'll see you tomorrow!"

"Wait, what?!" I closed the door and took off towards Fluttershy's house. As soon as we were there, I tucked her into her bed and left her in her room.

"Wait! Aren't you gonna s-share the bed?" She asked.

"Nope!" With that I collapsed on the floor in her living room and was out like a light in a matter of minutes.

Gift

".... So, you can talk now." I was dreaming. Steven and I had just met in the dream. We were inside of a giant ball of water inside a giant flower. Don't know why I was dreaming that, but whatever.

"Hells yeah! This is fuckin' awesome!" He cheered.

"Well... would you mind being nicer to my friends? They seem to flinch every time you speak."

"Heh, little bastards can grow up."

"See? Like that, that wasn't necessary."

"Like I care. Besides, you can't make me do anything any more! I'm my own person now!" He gloated.

"... Darn. Well... just please consider trying to be nicer? I'd really appreciate it."

"Like I give a fuck what you appreciate!"

"Alright, that's it!" I dreamed the water around Steven to freeze solid in a perfect sphere around him. "Now listen! I can't kill you because you're a figment of my imagination, but I swear, keep offending my friends... You will live to regret it. I still control your world Steven!" I melted away the top of the sphere of ice so that his head was exposed. He was smiling at me.

"Ok, fine. I'll play nice.... er." I frowned.

"Well... I guess that's good enough for now. Huh?" A bright light was shining off in the distance. "Aww... time to wake up already? Oh well..." The light brightened and expanded until it enveloped Steven and I.

Wednsday, January 23rd

I woke up still on Fluttershy's floor. For some reason though, I was now hugging Fluttershy.

"Aww... how sweet. She didn't want me to be alone." I thought out loud. "WAKE THE FUCK UP!" Fluttershy's eyes shot open and she let out a small yelp. I facepalmed. "Dammit Steven... What? That was nicer!" I looked to Fluttershy. "Did he just say something?" She still looked slightly groggy, but she managed to answer me.

"He said he was nicer."

"Did he yell at you to wake you up, or was it me talking?"

"He yelled 'wake the f word up'..." She said nervously.

"Oh dang it! I'll get you for that one Steven! I got a whole lotta time before you go to sleep again." I shook my head and decided to not worry about him. "So... uh... you wouldn't happen to maybe have any steak left?" I asked Fluttershy timidly. "I haven't eaten since... since I don't really know." Fluttershy smiled at me gently.

"Of course. I'll be right back!" She said cheerily as she fluttered off to the kitchen.

"... I was gonna cook it!" I shouted after her.

"No you weren't!" She called back.

"Ha! You just got told!" I heard a worryingly familiar sizzling coming from the kitchen. A wave of nausea hit me as I thought about eating meat again, but it was quickly stifled as the scent of cooking steak wafted in from the kitchen. A few minutes later, Fluttershy trotted in with with steak, and eggs! "Wow! You didn't have to make more Fluttershy!" She smiled bashfully.

"No... I wanted to cook more for you. You need your nourishment if you're going to be strong... to... fight monsters..." I flinched.

"Yeah... Thank you Shy." She handed the plate to me with her wing. She hoofed me a fork and a knife too. I stood up and walked outside into the snow. This time I forced myself to eat slower and actually taste the food. It was really good, despite the fact that eating it made me sick with myself. Fluttershy was easily the best cook I'd encountered here by far. I practically licked my plate clean. I walked back inside, passed Fluttershy, and went into the kitchen. I found the sink and started washing the plate myself.

"H-hey! I was going to clean it!" Fluttershy shouted after me.

"No you weren't! Ha! Told!" I finished scrubbing the plate, knife, and fork, and I located the cabinets where they went. After putting everything up, I walked back into the living room. I felt way better after getting some proper sleep and a good meal. "Well, I'm off to take care of Unity now. You coming?"

"Oh yes! If you don't mind..."

"Fluttershy, I just invited you. Why would I mind?"

"Oh... I don't know..." I rolled my eyes and scooped Fluttershy up in my arms.

"C'mon! Let's go!" I took off into the snow, making sure to close Fluttershy's door behind me. I decided to sprint to make sure no monster smelled the steak on me and tried to eat us. The I realized I had Fluttershy's wings. I facepalmed and took off, flying just over the tops of the nearby trees.

"... So... Sharky... about the k--"

"NO! No! No! Not talking about it! Just forget it! I know it didn't matter! Please don't bring it up!" Fluttershy flinched in my arms and went quiet. An akward silence followed us all the way to Twilight's library. I walked in, to find Twilight waiting in the main room.

"There you are! I was wondering when you'd be back!" Twilight cheered. "Look what I found this morning!" She levitated a newspaper over to me. "I haven't read it yet, but these sold out fast!" I read the front page headline out loud.

"New hero is alive and well!" The article was about me, and there was a picture of me with my arm outstretched towards the crowd of reporters on the page. "What?! I'm not a hero!" I shouted in suprise. I continued reading. "This great being from another world seems to shrug at death! He survived his 1000 foot fall off the Gryffin Empire, and is back to fight for us again!" I scowled at the paper. "This is ridiculous! I've only fought a bunch of Timber Wolves, an Ursa Minor, a manticore, and a bunch of gryffins!"

"Yeah, but you've also raced the wonderbolts, saved an orphan filly's life, and you are a royal knight! Sharky, it's no wonder they think you're a hero!" Twilight countered.

"But... but... didn't you tell me you've saved Equestria twice? Wouldn't that make you heroes?"

"Did I tell you that? Huh... well, yes, but we don't tell anypony. Some of those here in Ponyville know, but not the whole of Equestria!"

"Heeeyyy! Sharky!" Spike interrupted. "Luna sent this for you!" He ran downstairs and handed me a small package. I opened the little box to reveal a new magic mirror. As soon as I grabbed it, it turned into an iPhone. I looked up my contacts, and to my suprise, Daring Do was still on my list.

"Huh... well..." I gave the paper one last sideways glance before I threw it on the ground. "I'll deal with that later. I should call Luna." I tapped Luna's button on the screen, and she picked it up on the first ring.

"Sharky! Thou art truly alive!" Luna said happily.

"Yes, the reports of my death were... greatly exagerrated, so... I still have a job right? You didn't just give it to somepony else while I was gone?"

"Of course! We would be honored to have thee in our service still! Thou couldn't have come back at a better time!"

"What? You mean you have a mission already?"

"Not at this moment, but lately the monsters in Equestria have been more and more agressive. Expect a mission soon Sharky..." She sounded oddly worried with that warning.

"What kind of monsters are getting more aggressive Luna?" She looked down a little.

"All of them truly... but... mainly the constellation monsters..."

"Ha! Is that all? I've got a legendary weapon and magic now! Bring it on!" Luna looked up again, very suprised.

"How couldst thou have aqquired such things while thou were dead?!"

"Easy, I wasn't dead, I went to another world! I got some magic and a legendary sword from that world, and now I'm here!"

"How long were thou in this other world?" She asked. "More importantly, how did thou get there?"

"Oh, less than a day in that world, but it was a week here. Unity. that's how I got there."

"Wow... only thou Sharky... Well, it seems I was right to allow thee to keep Unity. Time to go flaunt our sucess in 'Tia's face. Goodbye Sharky."

"Bye Luna." I hung up the phone and put it in my coin pouch. Which reminded me that I needed to take care of Unity. Not the coin pouch, the talk with Luna. "I'm gonna go get Unity girls, be right back." They nodded and I walked upstair. "Holy crap it's cold!" I walked into the room, and there were icicles hanging from the ceiling. Unity was sitting in his bed, sound asleep still. I grabbed him and rushed out of the room before my balls froze off. I rushed back downstairs and made him a moon bottle of chocolate milk. Twilight heated it up for me and I gently woke Unity up to feed him. He greeted me with a groggy smile, and then gulped down the bottle as fast as he could.

"Wow! He was really hungry!" Twilight exclaimed. He quickly finished off the bottle and the milk. I put him on my shoulder and burped him.

"What, nothing strange today?" I asked him. He giggled. "God you're adorable." I thought for a moment. "Hey girls, I'm gonna go take Unity out to play."

"W-what? Sharky... If you don't mind me saying... I think that's a very bad idea..." Fluttershy mumbled.

"Why would you say that?"

"Sharky, he looks like Discord! Everypony would freak out!" Twilight explained.

"Well it's not like I'm leavin' the front yard! I just wanna make a snowman with him!"

"... don't you mean snowpony?" Fluttershy asked.

"No, I know what I said... first I wanna go get him some warm clothes though. I don't want him to get sick... Goin' to Rarity's house! Bye!" I charged away from the girls and out the door before they could react.

"Wait! What about the plan for you to stay inside?!" Twilight yelled after me. I grinned.

"LEROOOOOOOOOOYYYYY JENKINS!" I shouted in response.

"Hi Rarity! Can you let me in? Unity's getting cold!" I had gotten to the Carousel Boutique and I was waiting on Rarity to answer the door.

"On my way dear!" She said happily. She opened the door. She was wearing a hooded cloak. To hide her ruined mane most likely. "You brought Unity for a visit? How nice!" Then she ushered me in. "You came just in time dear! I have your present right here!"

"Oh Rarity! You didn't have to make me anything! I'm perfectly fine with what I have! I do need some stuff for Unity though, I don't want him getting too cold whenever I take him outside."

"Oh, well I'm sure I can whip something up for him in a moment! I still wish to give you these though!" She turned around a corner and returned with a bundle in her mouth. She trotted over to me and held it out. I took it hesitantly and unfolded it gently.

"Oh dear god yes!" I cheered happily. It was a shirt! It had Luna's mark right in the center of the chest large enough to reach from my stomach to the base of my throat. I pulled on it gently, and yes! Stretchy! "Thank you Rarity! This is amazing!" She smiled.

"Not done yet dear, I had Fluttershy help me with these..." She turned her head to reach her back. I heard a clinking sound and she turned back to me with something in her mouth. I reached out my hand and she dropped it into my grasp. "Be careful dear, they're a bit sharp..." I gingerly picked it up, and it turned out to be two things. Gloves! On the back of the hand of each glove, the was a small curved blade extending from the glove. It resembled a shark's dorsal fin. "I remembered you said you like those... shark things, so Fluttershy told me what they looked like! Those are sharpened blades, I thought maybe they could help you fight..."

"Rarity... this is amazing!" I cheered. I dropped to one knee and hugged her. She wrapped her forelegs around me in return.

"... *Ehm*" I released Rarity and looked at the source of the noise. Sweetiebelle was standing at the top of the stairs. She had saddlebags on, so I guess she was getting ready to go to school. "So... does this mean that Rarity is your special somepony?!" Sweetiebelle asked excitedly. I blushed.

"No! Nothing like that! I was just thanking her for the clothes!"

"Nopony else hugs Rarity like that when she gives them clothes...."

"Sweetiebelle! It's none of your buisness!" Rarity snapped. Sweetiebelle seemed to get more excited.

"Ooooh! That means it IS true! I gotta tell my friends!" She dashed out of the boutique before I could stop her. Kinda reminded me of myself actually.

"Ugh! That girl... I apologize Sharky, I'll tell her the truth when she gets back..." Rarity seemed a little upset.

"Don't worry, I'm sure that didn't cause any real harm... anyway, how much for the clothe--"

"No darling! They are a gift!"

"Dang it... Well, how much for Unity's--"

"No! I told you the white diamond covered--"

"All MY orders, that means you have to let me pay for Unity's!" I said triumphantly. Rarity sighed.

"Fine... I shall get on it now..." She levitated a measuring tape over to Unity and started measuring. He stared at the glowing tape, totally amazed. I laughed to myself and sat down in a chair.

"Now I wait..." I muttered to myself.

Snow

"Sharky?" Rarity nudged my shoulder a few times.

"Zzzzzzzzzz..." My snore droned on.

"Sharky!" Raity shouted this time and I snapped awake.

"Yes! Spring fashion line! Very interesting! I wasn't asleep!" Rarity had been telling me about her spring fashion line... in... excruciating... detail. "God that was the most boring thing I've ever encountered!"

"Hmph! Well at least Sharky liked hearing about it! Didn't you Sharky?"

"Uhh.... yes. Who are you talking to?"

"Steven! He had the gall to call my work boring! Can you believe it?!"

"... Yes."

"What?"

"Nothing. Is Unity's stuff done already?"

"Why yes! I've even taken some extra care in the design process to help him blend in!"

"... How would you do that?"

"I'll show you!" She turned to her measuring station and lifted something in her mouth. She turned around and she was holding Unity by the scruff of his neck. She let me grab hold of him and I examined his new outfit. He had some sock-like things on, but they were designed to look like a normal pony leg while Unity wore them! They covered up the feathers on his talon arm and got thicker towards the base to look like a hoof. The lion one covered all his fur and had the same width as a pony hoof as well. She did the same thing for the back talon, but as far as I could tell the normal pony leg had a normal sock. He had a little stocking cap that covered up his little horns. He also had a little vest that looped around his forelegs and covered the wings on his back. His tail had a sort of covering on it that made it look like a pony tail, but if he moved his tail the wrong way it got uncovered. All of the above were pure white. "Now, I know white is a terrible color to wear if you don't want it to stain, but I thought it would match the purity you were trying to raise Unity with!"

"Rarity... this is freaking awesome!!!" I bent down and hugged her again.

"Ha! Told ya so!" Sweetiebelle gloated from the doorway. Scootaloo, Applebloom, and Sweetiebelle were standing there.

"Hey! Shouldn't you be in school?!" I yelled.

"Nah! Cheerilee was sick, so we don't have school today!" Scootaloo explained.

"Why don't you have a substitute teacher?"

"A what?" I facepalmed.

"That's lucky for you I guess... Well, it's still not what it looks like!"

"Then why haven't cha let 'er go?" Applebloom asked. I jumped as I realized I still was hugging Rarity with the arm that wasn't holding Unity.

".... Uhhhhh... Do you guys wanna see my son?" They seemed instantly distracted from me and Rarity.

"Ooooh! You have a son?! How come nopony told me?" Sweetiebelle asked. Rarity gave me a hard stare.

"Because it was SUPPOSED to be a secret dear..." She replied. I shrugged and mouthed 'oops' at her.

"I wanna see him!" Scootaloo said excitedly. All three of them rushed me to see Unity. He was laying in my arms face up, and for all intents and purposes, he seemed like a normal pony with a slightly longer, thinner face. All three of the girls jumped in the chair next to me to be able to see him. He smiled at them and reached towards them with his 'hooves'.

"Awwww!" They sighed collectively.

"He's adorable!" Sweetiebelle squeaked. "How'd you get him?"

"I adopted him."

"Like how Rainbow Dash adopted me?" Scootaloo asked. I rubbed the back of my head in thought.

"Not... quite the same way...."

"Well he's mighty cute!" Applebloom squealed. "Ah could just eat him up!"

"Cannibal."

"What was that?" Applebloom asked.

"Hmm? I didn't say anything..."

"Huh, Ah guess Ah'm hearin' things... anyway, what's his name?"

"His name is Unity."

"That's a funny name..." Scootaloo mumbled.

"Well... just trust me, it has meaning..."

"Well whaddya know? I wasn't hallucinating!" A new voice from the doorway said happily. I turned my head to see the new visitor.

"Hey! Night Weaver!" I grinned and walked over to him. His jaw dropped and he backed up a little.

"Whoa! Dude... tall..."

"Oh, right. Sorry. What's up man?"

"I uhh... came to check out Ponyville like you said..." It was easier to actually pick out details about him without the flashing club lights. His mane stuck out at odd angles, more in a styled fashion than a careless one. A lot like Vinyl's hair actually, but way shorter. His mane was black with red streaks in it. His coat was a light orange, and his hooves were actually visible, like Big Mac's. His hooves were light tan. He had some rounded sunglasses on. His cutie mark was a record.

"Well it's great to see ya man! If you wanna hear about the parties, you should go talk to Pinkie Pie, she works at Sugarcube Corner."

"Sweet. So, you're the hero of Equestria huh?" I rolled my eyes.

"Has everypony heard that? Look, I'm--"

"Super cool! He saved my life ya know!" Scootaloo interrupted.

"No, I was gonna say--"

"He saved mah new friend Shadow's life too!" Applebloom interrupted as well.

"What I'm trying to say is--"

"He defeated an Ursa Minor!" Sweetiebelle added.

"All of you shut yer traps! I'm no big deal!" The girls all shut their mouths and looked at me in confusion.

"Well, I'm not usually one to judge, but with actions like that, I'd say you're a hero!" Night Weaver agreed. I sighed.

"Look, I just do what anypony would do if they were me, I'm no hero!"

"Well, whatever you say bro. Where is this Sugercube Corner?"

"It's just about a minute trot into town dear, you can't miss it, it's a giant building made of sweets." Rarity offered. Night Weaver nodded.

"Thanks miss! I'll see ya later Sharky!" He turned and walk out.

"Sharky, who was that?" Rarity asked.

"Him? That's Night Weaver, a DJ I met in Manehattan."

"... When were you in Manehattan?"

"On my day with RD. I took her to Wonderbolts show, got her a position on the Wonderbolts team by racing them, became friends with Daring Do and she invited us to a party where I met him."

"... What?"

"Nevermind, not important. Look, I'm gonna go play with Unity, I'll take you to Canterlot for your mane tonight after he falls asleep ok?"

"Ok Sharky..."

"Ooooh! You two are going on a date tonight?!" Sweetiebelle interjected. I facepalmed.

"No! I'm just trying to spend some time with her!"

"I knew it!"

"... the one time I would welcome a comment from Steven... And ruin this fun? No way." I turned to Rarity. "Did he talk just now?" She nodded. "What did he say?"

"He said he was having too much fun."

"... Well dang it. I'm off girls!" I started walking out the door with Unity still in my arms.

"Wait!" The CMC followed me out. "Can we come too?!" Their ability to speak in unison was pretty astounding.

"Uhh... sure. I was just gonna make a snowman."

"Don't you mean a--" Sweetiebelle started.

"I know what I said! No, I meant snowman. Come on, I'll show you." They looked at me with confusion, but followed me anyway. I stopped in the front of Rarity's house. "Ok, the beginning is pretty difficult without hands I assume, so I'll do it." I had already put my new gloves on, so I put Unity down on the snow and let him roll around. He batted at the snow with his hoof-socks and seemed to be having a good time. I reached down into the snow and pulled out a big handful. It was slightly wet, but not too melty. Perfect for building. I packed it into a snowball and dropped it into the rest of the snow. "Ok girls, here's how it works. You roll around this ball in the snow, like this:" I rolled the snowball a little, increasing it's size slightly. "Until it gets really big. Then you do it two more times, each smaller than the last. Now, help me make those and we'll move on."

"Yay! Cutie Mark Crusaders snow sculptors!" They cheered. Scootaloo began rolling the first ball around while I made two more snowballs for the other girls. I gave a small laugh as they all charged into the task, leaving trails in the snow as they increased the size of the snowballs. I distracted myself for a little while by playing with Unity. He seemed to be taking a little break from the crazy chaos, and I was pretty relieved. It was fun sometimes, but one can only handle so much chaos. That is until I hit his face with a little snow. Then a giant snowball came out of nowhere and hit me in the back. I was literally buried in a small pile of snow, and I could hear Unity giggling nearby.

"Alright, good shot." My voice was muffled by the snow. I quickly unburied myself and shivered a little as the cold air met the melted snow on my skin. I still hadn't put on the shirt Rarity had made me. Not my best idea.

"Whoa! Where did that come from?!" Scootaloo gasped.

"Uhh..."

"I made it!" Rarity called from the boutique. I guess she had been standing there watching us.

"Yeah, Rarity did it... with magic..." I lied.

"Rarity! It's not nice to do that to your special somepony!" Sweetiebelle chided. I groaned.

"She is not my special som--"

"Done!" Scootaloo interrupted. I hadn't been paying attention to their rolling, and Scootaloo's base was HUGE! It came all the way up to my waist!

"Whoa! How did you manage the strength to push this thing?!" She buzzed her wings. "Ah, I see. Well, how big is the next one?"

"Here it is!" Applebloom shouted happily. "Ah worked real hard on this one!" Hers was just past my knee cap, and unlike Scootaloo, who had a more oval like base, Applebloom's was a perfect sphere.

"Wow! Great job Applebloom! This is perfect!"

"What about mine?" Sweetiebelle asked. She rolled hers over to me, and it come out looking more like a small rectangle than a snowball. It came up about halfway on my shin.

"Uhh... I've never seen any pony make a square out of a circle... Good job?" Sweetiebelle beamed at me. "It looks like crap..." Sweetiebelle's smile dropped and she looked crestfallen. "What? what's wrong?"

"You don't like it?"

"No! It's fine!"

"B-but.. you just said..."

"Ohh... ignore whatever mean thing I said, that wasn't me. ANYWAY, let's get to putting this thing together, shall we?" I lifted Applebloom's ball and placed it on top of Scootaloo's oval. When I tried to lift Sweetiebelle's rectangle, it fell apart in my hands. She looked like she was about to cry.

"Awww... I knew it wasn't good enough!" She wailed.

"Uhh... no! It was my fault! I uhh... grabbed it to hard and broke it... Why don't you and Applebloom just make another?"

"Why me and Applebloom?"

"... Two ponies work faster than one?"

"He's right! C'mon Sweetiebelle, let's get ta work!" Applebloom cheered. Sweetibelle sniffled before smiling and joining her friend. Applebloom made her own snowball, and they were off. I sat down in the snow and put Unity in my lap. He seemed to be getting tired from his playing with the snow, and he was falling asleep in my lap. I stood up without disturbing him and walked into the boutique. Rarity had left the doorway and was inside playing with some ribbons by weaving them around some sort of dress.

"Hey Rarity, where can I put Unity down for a nap?"

"Oh! Umm... I've some cushions over here. Will those do?" She pointed a hoof at a large pile of pillows next to her sewing machine.

"Fantastic! Thanks Rarity!"

"My pleasure dear." She went back to her dress and I arranged a few of the cushions into a small sort of bed for Unity. I laid him down and he was asleep in seconds. "...You handled that pretty well you know..." I stood back up and looked at Rarity.

"What?"

"Sweetiebelle. She... isn't the best at making things, but you managed to keep her from feeling bad about it. Even with Steven..."

"Oh... It was no big deal... I just didn't want her to feel bad ya know?"

"It was still... very impressive how tactfully you handled it..."

"It's no big deal really... I've uhh... gotta go back and finish the snowman now..." Rarity had walked over from her dress and was uncomfortably close now. I quickly edged away from her and went back outside to the girls. Applebloom and Sweetiebelle had finished the last ball. It was more round than Scootaloo's, but not as good as Applebloom's. I picked it up and placed it on the top of the snowman. "There we go!"

"Uhh... Iffn' ya don't mind me sayin'... it just looks like three snowballs..." Applebloom said hesitantly.

"Well, it's not done yet, I need two branches, a carrot, and a lot of coal."

"On it!" The girls shouted and dashed off in different directions. Soon Scootaloo was back with two large branches in her mouth, Applebloom brought back a carrot, and Sweetiebelle came back with a few gems.

"We didn't have coal, but Rarity said I could borrow these!" Sweetibelle cheered. I grinned. I put two rubies in for his eyes and gave him a sapphire smile. I pulled the greens leaves off the carrot and put it right in the middle of his face for a nose. Then I took the branches and put one into each of the sides of the middle section for arms.

"There!" I shouted happily.

"Wow! He looks kinda like you!" Scootaloo exclaimed.

"Did you just call me fat?! That's the idea Scootaloo! I gotta show this to Unity!" I ran into the boutique and grabbed Unity. He woke up in my arms, but he didn't seem too upset with me. I walked him over to the snowman and held him up next to it's face. "Look Unity, your first snowman!" I said happily. Unity smilled and reached out to touch it with one of his hoof-socks. As soon as he made contact...

"Happy birthday!" The snowman shouted.

"... Oh dear god."

Frosty the Demon

"Hey! Do all snowmen do that Sharky?" Sweetiebelle asked as the snowman started to rise off the ground. I couldn't explain Unity to them, so I had to lie.

"Ummm yes. Yes they do all come to life..."

"Happy birthday!" He shouted again. His voice sounded off somehow...

"We get it!" I turned away from the snowman. "You girls should get inside. It's cold out. Don't want you catching a cold."

"Awww..." They let out a collective whine.

"Happy Birthday..." This time the snowman's voice came out as a low demonic grumble. I turned around to look back at it. My jaw dropped. The snowman's ruby eyes were glowing bright red, and his sapphire teeth had extended into a fanged maw. He had increased in size to where he was now taller than me. His branches had elongated and the hand had grown into a hook-fingered menacing fist. Thick legs had grown from the snow and he took a heavy step towards me.

"... Oh dear god... Fuck yes! A fight! Girls, go inside. NOW."

"S-sharky... Is THAT supposed to happen?" Scootaloo whimpered. I placed Unity on Applebloom's back.

"No! All of you, inside NOW!" I commanded. They all ran away into the boutique, leaving me with a still growing demonic snowman. "Ok... here we go..." The snowman's glowing ruby eyes locked onto me.

"Happy birthday..." He swung his right branch at my head. I duck and rolled backwards. As soon as I was clear I pointed at his head.

"Thundraga!" Black clouds formed and a bolt shot into the snowman's head. His head deformed instantly as the snow melted. He fell forward onto his knees and then his upper body slammed into the ground as well. "Huh... Bastard went down too easy..." Then the snow melded back together instantaneously, distorting the snowman's face slightly. His eyes were now further apart and his mouth was crooked, but he seemed undeterred.

"Happy Birthday..." His eyes flashed and he shot a jet of flame out of his mouth. I was caught off guard and the flames enveloped me. I let out a small scream of pain, but the flames cleared soon. I looked down at myself. The pants around my leg armor had burnt away, so now it was simply shiny metal. My body didn't have any visible burn marks on it, and after I quickly patted out my hair, I was fine.

"Bitchin'! Sweet!"

"Sharky! Look out!" Scootaloo yelled from the boutique.

"What?" A huge wooden fist slammed int my left arm, throwing me a few feet away from where I had been standing. "Dammit, keep your eyes on the enemy!" I pulled myself off the ground. My left arm was pretty full of splinters, and I was surely gonna bruise, but I'd live. "Ok... that one hurt... I need my sword!" I decided to lure the snowman to the library to get my blade. "C'mon! Follow me Frosty!" I started backing up towards the library.

"Happy Birthday..." He lumbered slowly after me, reaching out ominously with his stick arms. It was going good, and I was about halfway to Twilight's library when he started clacking his sapphire teeth together.

"What are you doing? Stay on guard!" Suddenly, giant Ice spikes started thrusting from the ground. "Whoa!" The first few missed, and I started jumping around wildly, despreate to not get impaled. One thrusted right in front of me as I jumped, but I shattered it with a blow from the armor on my leg. His attack seemed to have worn itself out, so I turned to the nearest whole spike and slashed it with my glove. A decent sized spike fell away from the icicle of death. I pointed the spike at the demonic snowman and hurled it like a spear. It hit him square in the right shoulder, knocking away a chunk of snow. It immediately regenerated, but it succeded in pissing him off even more. He let out a roar, a nice change from the haunting 'happy birthday'. I kept up my backwards gait towards the library. He brought his fist down in front of me, slightly embedding it into the ground. I got a new idea and pointed my hand at his fist. "Thundraga!" The lightning bolt struck the fist, igniting it instantaneously. I almost cheered, but the snowman's eyes flashed again and the flames vanished, leaving an only slightly charred branch.

"Happy Birthday..."

"Fuckin' shut up!" I weaved my way through the little ice spike forest. When the snowman reached it, I had hoped it would slow him down, but he just clacked his teeth together again and they disappeared as he stepped near them. Luckily, we were almost to Twilight's library. Then I noticed I had spectators. Ponies were lined up on nearby streets, cheering for me to defeat the snow abomination. "Are you all insane?! Get inside! Now!" I'm not sure if any of them heard me. Nopony moved. "Well I guess nopony can help either! No, that would be a little too much!" Then flashing started. Some reporter ponies had gotten dangerously close to the fight. They were off to my left, the opposite direction of the library. The snowman took notice and started lumbering towards them instead of me. The reporter ponies screamed in fear, but instead of running away, they froze where the stood. "Oh son of a..." The snowman reached them and reared back both arms, prepearing to smash the ponies. I ran over full tilt and rammed the ponies out of the way with my right shoulder. Then both of the fists came smashing down on my back. I went down into the snow, but the force drove me through the snow until I was smashed against the ground. The spectators let out a collective gasp. The pain was immense, and I felt myself slip into unconciousness...

"Finally, I get to drive..." Steven pushed himself up out of the hole. The spectators let out a cheer as he rose from a seemingly mortal blow. Sharky hadn't left his body in the best condition, but Steven wasn't complaining. "C'mon bitch! Let's go!" He raised his fists challengingly. The snowman's eyes flashed again, but Steven was prepared. He leapt to the side, leaving the flame jetting from the abomination's mouth to melt the snow where he had been standing. "Ha! You've got worse aim than a blind man!" The snowman cut off the flames and let out another gutteral roar. Steven ran in close to the snowman and started slashing at his legs. Each swing with the shark blades cut out a decent chunk from the legs, but it was regenerating faster than Steven could swing. The snowman was far taller by now, and he was just as tall as Twilight's library. He lifted a missive leg, threatening to stomp Steven. Steven waited until the last second, then rolled out of the way of the impact. His roll placed him behind the snowman and closer to the library.

"Happy Birthday?" The snowman had clearly lost track of Steven's location. Steven decided to remind him. He pointed at the middle of the snowman's back.

"Thundraga!" The bolt flew straight through the snowman's middle and into the ground beneath him. The snowman roared and wrapped his branches around his waist. It regenerated in a matter of seconds, but it was meant to draw his attention, not injure him. It clearly worked. The snowman turned to Steven, clearly enraged. It started running as fast as it's legs could carry it.

"Happy Birthday!!!"

"Seriously, better banter or GTFO." Steven rushed the snowman and slid on the snow as he approached him. He passed under the snowman harmlessly and the snowman lost track of him again. Steven took the oppritunity to run to the library. The snowman didn't notice him, and he made it in unharmed. Twilight gasped as he threw the door open.

"Sharky?! What happened to you?!" She pointed at his now forming bruises.

"No talk time! Kill giant evil snowman!" He ran to the Buster Sword and hefted it onto his shoulder before dashing back outside.

"... WHAT?!"

"Happy Birthday!" The snowman spotted Steven as he ran back out of the library. The snowman's eyes flashed and a jet of flame roared towards Steven. He planted the Buster Sword in front of himself firmly. The flames hit the blade and were deflected away. The moment the flames were clear, Steven lifted the sword and rushed the snowman. He swung the now heated Buster Sword at the snowman's left leg. It melted through the snow like a warm knife through butter. The leg fell away, and Steven jumped to the side as the snowman fell down. Then something amazing happened. The leg didn't grow back.

"Awwww yeah!" Steven cheered. He charged the giant snowman again, quickly dicing it to bits with the heated Buster Sword. The snowman wailed in agony until Steven finished off the rest of it's body and planted the blade firmly between the abomination's eyes. The light faded from the rubies and the sapphires shrank and returned to normal. Looks like that guy needed to... chill out. I hate myself for what I just said. Steven was left standing in a melty pile of snow. Then, he felt his grip on the body loosening. "No! He can't be concious already! No fair!" Steven whined as he was thrust back into the recesses of Sharky's mind.

I regained conciousness standing on a pile of melty snow.

"... Da buck?"

"Sharky! Sharky!" I turned my head to an approaching reporter pony. "Yet another amazing victory! Tell me, how does it feel to defeat yet another foe?"

"... I honestly couldn't tell you."

"Ah, speecless huh?" Another reporter asked as she aproached me. "Do you know where this beast came from?" I froze a little.

"Uhh... No... he just... showed up?" The reporter nodded like she bought it.

"Sharky!" Another mare rushed up to me. It was the same reporter that I had met outside the hospital a few days ago. "For a moment there, we all thought you were out for the count! How did you stand after that terrible blow?"

"Cause bitch I can. I don't remember even standing... I've got to go now..." I took off running before any more reporters caught me. I ran straight to Rarity's boutique to get my shirt. I was freakin' freezing. I made it in a matter of seconds, the cheers of the spectators followed me all the way there. I walked inside and locked the door behind me.

"Sharky! Thank goodness you're ok!" Rarity shouted as I came in. I propped my sword up next to the door and dropped to one knee as she rushed to hug me.

"Yeah... yeah, I'm fine." Rarity turned her mouth to my ear.

"Was that beast Unity's doing?" She whispered. The CMC were nearby, making kissy faces at us. I rolled my eyes and turned to whisper into her ear.

"Yeah, I knew his magic would have a bad side."

"Well, what are you going to do? We can't have things like this happening often!"

"Relax, this is the first time it has happened at all. When he's old enough to understand, I'll teach him right and wrong. Until then, I'll just have to deal with it."

"Are you sure dear? That thing looked horrifying!"

"Yeah, I'm sure. I can apparently handle it..." Rarity pulled away from the hug and gave me a confused look.

"Apparently?"

"Yes, apparently. Applebloom, where'd you put Unity?" She pointed to the little cushion bed I had made for him. I stood up and walked over to the bed. Unity was awake and staring intently at the pillow next to his head. "Well, I gotta take him home and feed him now. I'll see you tonight Rarity."

"Ooooooooh!" The CMC said simalutaneously. I rolled my eyes.

"Bye girls... I've got something to figure out anyway..." I mumbled as I left the boutique. I ran all the way to Twilight's library, hoping to not attract the attention of more reporters.

Speech

About 1/4 of the way to Twilight's library, I had a thought.

"That sneaky little jerk!" Rarity had let me forget to pay her for Unity's clothes in the chaos of the snowman attack! I turned right back around and stalked back to the boutique. I walked right in. "Hi Rarity!"

"Oh, hello Sharky! What are you doing back so soon?" Rarity greeted.

"Remembering to pay for Unity's clothes! ... and getting my sword and shirt."

"Are you sure you didn't just want to see your special somepony againnnn?~" Sweetiebelle sang from a chair next to the door. I facepalmed.

"Not my special somepony!"

"You know, I've been meaning to ask, why do you protest that so passionately? Am I truly that bad?" Rarity sounded upset. I flinched and struggled to find words that wouldn't screw me over.

"... Uhh... no, it's nothing like that... you are a very... nice mare but uhhh..."

"Ohhhhh!~" Scootaloo chided.

"Shut it! I just killed a demon snowman, I don't need this! No, I mean she's nice but uhh... I'm just... not good enough! Yeah, that's it! I am a human after all, hardly worthy of any mare really... anyway, how much for the clothes?"

"Sharky! You shouldn't put yourself down like that! I'm sure any mare would be happy to have you!"

"Yeah, yeah, don't try to distract me with flattery, how much for the clothes?"

"It's not flattery my dear, it's the truth!"

"Right, whatever. Just tell me about the clothes."

"No, I'm serious Sharky. Please listen--"

"Look, tell me the price, or I'm paying you 7,000 bits and leaving!"

"500 with close personal friend discount!"

"... 1000."

"600."

"1000."

"650."

"1000."

"That's not negotiating! I'm changing my number!" I smiled.

"1000."

"Ok, ok. 950?"

"Deal, 950. So with tax that's... let's see... 1000."

"... Brilliant. Fine, I'll take 1000!"

"Pleasure doing buisness with you!" I pulled ten gold coins out of my pouch. I held out the coins and Rarity reluctantly levitated them out of my hand. With that I grabbed my shirt and sword and left.

"... What just happened?" Scootaloo asked hesitantly.

"Hi Twilight!" I greeted as I walked into the library. "Hi Fluttershy! I didn't expect you to still be here..."

"Oh, I hope you don't mind... I was waiting for you to come back..." Fluttershy muttered.

"Aww, how nice! Stalker. Now... would you guys mind feeding Unity? I think I'm very damaged..." Recently my body had decided to remind me of every injury I had. Ranging from the lightning blast I had taken back in the fight with the S.O.L.I.D.E.R.s all the way to the double fist pound I took from the demon snowman. I passed Unity to Fluttershy and then fell to one knee.

"Sharky?! Are you alright?!" Twilight asked worridly.

"Oh, no. I'm fan fucking tastic. Just tons of severe wounds you know. Yeah, I'll be fine... I think I just need to rest."

"Liar! Look at you!" Twilight scolded. I looked down at myself. My chest wound had sealed, but my whole left side was basically a huge bruise, my left shoulder was charred, and skin was light red from the roasting I had recieved. Twilight walked around to my back to see my injuries there. She gasped. "Oh my gosh... Sharky..." She reached out and touched my back. I yelped in pain. Fluttershy went around to my back too.

"Dear Celestia! Sharky!" She wailed.

"What? What's so bad?"

"How are you standing with the pain?! This looks horrible!" Twilight balked.

"What a confidence booster. Anyway, it's the miasma. I can take way worse injuries now and shrug them off."

"Yeah... but Sharky... Your back is really busted..." Fluttershy said quietly. I slipped on my shirt before they could look at me any more. The shirt was long sleeved and thick. It instantly made me feel warmer.

"I'm fine, I'm sure. Gimme a few days of healing in this world combined with the resilience from miasma and I'll be just fine. Anyway... could you guys watch Unity for awhile so I can rest?"

"Oh, please rest! You need to heal!" Fluttershy pushed on my right arm with the top of her head, trying to get me to the bed upstairs I guess.

"Umm.. Fluttershy, I sleep down here next to the books, you're pushing in the wrong direction..."

"You what?!" She shouted. She sounded angry. She whipped around to face Twilight. "You let him sleep on the floor?!"

"It's not my idea! He refuses to sleep in the bed!" Twilight balked.

"Well, I'd hate to take up space in your bed." I interrupted.

"You haven't gotten him a bed?!" Fluttershy was almost yelling.

"Whoa, calm down! I wouldn't let her anyway! I don't want you spending money on me!"

"Ha! See? He's so difficult!" Twilight gloated.

"Well... it's still not right! Sharky, you need your own bed!" Fluttershy sounded genuinely concerned.

"Oh no, it's no big deal. Please, don't worry about it."

"No! She's right! I've been meaning to get you a bed for awhile now anyway." Twilight agreed. I sighed.

"Fine, I'll go buy a bed later, right now I just... I need to lay down for a minute..." I stood back up from my kneel and walked over to my corner. I laid down and curled up to sleep.

"... O-ok Sharky... just... don't get more hurt? It hurts us to see you like this..." Fluttershy mumbled. Twilight nodded in agreement.

"I told you I'm fine! I just need to rest for a minute. I'm gonna have a new mission soon, and I just need to rest before then..."

"W-what?! No!" Twilight yelled.

"Yeah. Apparently, something is going wrong with monsters recently. They're getting more and more active, but nopony seems to know why."

"B-b-but... that m-means..." Fluttershy mumbled.

"Eeyup, more missions for me. Now please, just let me--"

*HAAAAALLELUJAH*

"Oh dammit." I picked my phone out of my coin pouch. I hit the answer call button and Luna's face popped up on my phone. "Hi Luna."

"Greetings Sharky! How art thou?"

"Beaten like you wouldn't believe. I'm doing fine though. You have a quest for me?"

"Well... no."

"Yes!" Twilight cheered.

"Oh, then what did you call for?"

"Well... doth thou remember that day in the garden? Thou promised to help us speak correctly..."

"Oh yeah! Were you calling for another lesson?" Luna nodded.

"Yes. We were hoping thou wouldn't mind visiting us and furthering our knowledge of today's speech patterns."

"Yeah, I think I'm free for now. You girls can handle Unity right?" I turned to the girls and they nodded vigerously. "Good. Well, I'm free Luna. Are you gonna come here or--" I was cut off by a flash of black light.

"--Am I going there... Well, I guess this answers that question..." I was flashed into the royal gardens, the same place I had first started my lessons with Luna. She was sitting next to a small rosebush cut to look like a turtle. She smiled at me, but then her expression changed to one of disapproval.

"Sharky, what hath happened to thine pantaloons?"

"You did not just say pantaloons... anyway, I was flame-roasted by a big pile of snow, so the cloth burned away."

"... What?"

"Unity acidentally made a giant evil snow abomination, and it could breathe fire. It caught my pants on fire. Don't worry, I think I killed it."

"Thou thinks?"

"Well, rephrase. I know I killed it, I just don't remember doing it. Anyway, I'm here to teach, not converse. Let's get started."

"Thou attempts to command me?"

"When I'm the teacher, hells yeah. Yes. Now, let's get to work." Luna blinked at me.

"... Very well... Mr. White." She giggled a little at the ridiculousness of the situation. "Let us proceed." We dove into the lesson. We sat and worked for several hours, and it was almost dark by the time we were done. Steven decided to keep suprisingly quiet, and I managed to make some progress with Luna. She was managing to catch some of her 'we's now. Not omit them, but catch and correct them.

"Ok Luna, I've got to get back to Ponyville now." It was pretty late, and I still had to take Rarity out tonight.

"Already? What has thou in such a hurry?"

"I've gotta take my friend Rarity out tonight."

"Friend? Merely friend?" I sighed.

"Yes! We're just friends! I'm taking her to... here to get her mane done. It got ruined by my fire-breathing friend."

"Oh, we... I see. Doth thou need help with transportation?"

"Yes, that would be fantastic Luna."

"Very well, when thou gets thine 'friend' call us and we... I shall teleport you back to Canterlot." I smiled.

"Thanks Luna!" I stood up from my spot beside her and hugged her neck. "You have got to be the coolest boss ever!" She hesitated a moment before wrapping a forehoof around me in return

"Not a problem... Mr. White." She giggled again. It sounded pretty ridiculous to me too, so I laughed along with her. We quickly calmed back down though. "Anyway, time to send thou back yes? Fare thee well!"

"Bye Luna!" Another flash of black light, and I was gone.

I was standing in the corner of the library I had come from.

"Oh! Sharky! You're back! How'd it go?" Twilight was reading right next to the place I had flashed in.

"Great! How was Unity?"

"He was an angel. No chaos or anything!"

"Yeah, I think he burned himself out on that earlier today. Anyway, I'll see you later."

"Where are you going now?" Fluttershy poked her head out of the kitchen doorway and looked at me sadly.

"Sorry to leave so soon, but I promised Rarity I'd take her to Canterlot to get her mane fixed tonight."

"Well w-when are you gonna spend some time with me...?" Fluttershy almost seemed to be whining.

"Uhh... Soon. Soon." I lied. Hanging around Fluttershy only remind me of the kiss and what couldn't be. "I... I've gotta go now." I started walking towards the door, but I acidentally stumbled over the Buster Sword. I had left it behind when Luna teleported me. I picked it up and propped it up in my corner. I cast a disapproving eye over the rust and dullness of the sword and made a mental note to have it repaired. With that, I dashed out the door. "Huh, I wonder where Fang has been all day..." I mumbled to myself. I left the thought alone. Fang was a strong wolf, he'd be fine. Withtin a minute, I was on Rarity's doorstep. I knocked gently.

"Oh! Sharky, is that you?" Rarity called from inside.

"Yeah! Are you ready to go?"

"Yes dear! Give me a moment..." I heard her hooves tap against the floor as she went to the door. She magicked it open. She was wearing a red, sparkly dress that hugged her body closely. She had a cute little feathered hat on that covered her ruined mane. The hem of her dress just barely kept from brushing the ground.

"Wow, you look great Rarity!"

"Oh, do you really think so?"

"Yeah! You're gonna turn quite a few heads in Canterlot!"

"Ooooooh!~" Sweetiebelle called from inside.

"Shut up! Shouldn't you be in bed?" I didn't hear anything more, so I assume she ran off. "Well, now I feel tragically under-dressed! Doesn't matter I suppose, tonight is for you. Lemme call Luna..." I pulled out my phone again and hit Luna's call button. She picked up on the first ring.

"Oh, ready already Sharky? Very well, we... I shall teleport you immediately." I grabbed Rarity and pulled her tightly to my side, then we disappeared in a flash of black light.

We flashed into Canterlot. We were surrounded by unfamiliar buildings. I had never seen this area in the show, so I had no idea where we were.

"So... uhh... you do know your way around Canterlot, right?" I asked.

"No! I thought you knew where we would be going!" Rarity sounded worried all of the sudden.

"Hey, calm down! I'm sure we can just ask somepony for directions!" I looked around for the nearest pony. The was a light pink mare next what appeared to be a cafe right next to us. I pulled Rarity over to her and leaned down to tap on her shoulder. "Excuse me miss, do you know where I could find a nice hair salon?" The mare turned to me.

"Oh, that's easy you just... OH MY GOSH!" She screamed. I flinched.

"Yeah, I'm very tall. Sorry to scare you..."

"You're the hero of Equestria! Hey! Everypony look! It's the hero!" All of the sudden ponies seemed to appear from everywhere, and the streets were filled with cries of 'Look! The hero!'. I groaned and facepalmed.

"Great."

All is Not Well

"I'm so sorry Rarity..." We were now surrounded by mares. There were a few stallions too, but I guess males really were scarce in Equestria. They were all around me, jumping and eager to meet me. It was better then all of them running in fear... but still annoying. I held Rarity close to my side as I tried to force my way to a clearer spot in the crowd. I was forced to lift Rarity into my arms in order to keep from losing her.

"Are you kidding? This attention is fabulous!" She cheered. I rolled my eyes. The screams of the nearby ponies droned on.

"Hi! It's so nice to meet y--"

"Hey! I'm Quick Silver! Could you--"

"Can I get your autograph?"

"Are you dating anypony?"

"I need your help!" At this one, I stopped and looked for the source of the yell. A yellow earth pony mare with a dark blue mane was crying not a few feet to my left, being shoved aside by other ponies. I forced my way through the crowd to her. I pushed several ponies to the side to clear a small area around her. I was only using my left arm to do it, and my bruises were giving me grief about it already.

"Miss! You said you needed help?" I roared above the crowd. She let out a small sob and nodded vigerously.

"S-somepony kidnapped my filly!" She choked out.

"... WHAT?!" My scream waved out over the crowd, quickly silencing them. "Somepony stole your daughter?! In Equestria!? You all are supposed to be above things like that!"

"I... I don't know who else to g-go to! I... I can't go to the guards... please help me!"

"Sharky, what's going on?" Rarity asked.

"I'm very sorry Rarity, I have to help ths girl... You like attention right?"

"... Yes..."

"I'm so sorry. Hey, everypony! This is my marefriend! She designs all my clothes and is the best designer in Equestria! She can answer any questions you have about me!" I put Rarity down on the ground and picked up the mare who's daughter had been kidnapped. I took off as the crowd began to redirect themselves at Rarity.

"W-wait! Sharky!" Rarity shouted after me.

"Sorry!" I ran and kept running, turning down a few alleys and ducking behind a few buildings until I was sure everypony had lost me. I had stopped in a dark alley behind some sort of restaurant. he only other living thing with me was the mare, and a stray dog. I placed her down on the ground. "Ok, now. Tell me exactly what's going on." She nodded slowly.

"Ab-bout three days ago, somepony stole my daughter! I was working my night shift as a waitress at my dad's shop, the 'Cake King', when two someponies broke in! They were wearing masks and black body suits... I have no idea what they looked like... They took all they money... then, they grabbed my daughter from her crib as they checked for valuables upstairs... t-they said... if I called the royal guards on them... they would kill her... Please, I don't know where else to go! You have to help me!"

"Of course I will! Lead me to the 'Cake King', I'll see if I can find any clues there!" I said sternly. She nodded happily.

"Oh! You really are a hero! Please, follow me!" She took off out of the alley. I quickly ran after her. I ducked behind as much cover as I could as I followed her, desperate to not attract attention. Within a few minutes, she stopped in front of a small building. The front was very plain, save for a huge neon red sign the read 'Cake K ng'. The 'i' in 'King' had gone out. I took a quick look around the area. We were in what would best be described as the poor part of town. All the buildings looked run down and neglected. Weeds sprang up from cracks in the poorly built sidewalk. It broke my heart to see anything like it in Equestria. The mare waved me into the building. The door jingled as she pushed it open.

"Oh! A customer!" A deep voice boomed from the store. It was a small little building. There were booths running along 2 of the four walls, the red covering on the seats was dull and broken. The back of the building had a counter with a cash register on it. Behind the counter was a small kitchen area, and in that area was a round yellow earth pony stallion with a green handlebar mustache a short-cropped green mane. His cutie mark was a cake. He took a look at his daughter. "Oh, it's you Blueberry... Sorry... I thought it was a... Hey! Is that Equestria's hero!?" He seemed excited all of the sudden.

"Ugh... I'm not a hero!" I groaned.

"Yes papa! He says he's going to help us find Strawberry!"

"... Are you all named after fruit?"

"Oh, where are my manners? *ehm* I'm Apple Tart! Owner of this fine establishment! Yes, we're all named after fruit, it's an old family joke. You know, types of tarts? Anyway, that's not important! You're here to find my granddaughter?!" The portly pony said quickly.

"Ah, makes sense now. Damn fatty, lay off the cake. So, what did Strawberry look like?"

"Hey! I know I'm heavy, but there's no need to call names!" Apple balked. I blinked in confusion.

"Oh! Sorry, that was Steven! I have two voices, one is Steven, a really mean guy. Just ignore him. This is the real me. If I change my voice, remember that it isn't me ok?" Apple seemed pretty confused.

"Blueberry, are you sure you didn't bring me some kinda' crackpot?"

"Oh no! I'm sure he's the hero! He agreed to help me without even thinking about it! We'll just have to deal with the... Steven... We need his help papa!"

"Standing right here ya know." Apple turned back to me.

"Oh, right. Well... I appreciate the help... uhh... why don't you tell him about Strawberry sweetie?" Blueberry nodded.

"Ok, Strawberry is yellow, just like me and papa. Her eyes are light pink, and her mane is dark red. She's an earth pony, like me. She's skinnier than most baby fillies... Oh! She has a little hairband like this one..." She pointed a hoof at a hairband in her mane that had a few plastic blueberries on it. "Except with strawberries. She was so young... She can't even talk yet..."

"Huh... not too much to go on... Well, where did they break in?"

"Oh, I'll show ya!" Apple offered. He waved me to the back of the building. I followed him behind the counter and into the kitchen. In the back right corner of the kitchen, there was a doorway with no door, and a busted screen door outside that. The hinges had wood still attached to them, so it was obvious somepony had broken down the door. "I would've gotten the door fixed by now... but we've got no money since they robbed us..." He lowered his head and looked defeated. My heart cried out for him. I took my bit pouch and handed it to him after I took out my phone. He got a puzzled look and held out his hoof. I dropped the pouch and his hoof fell to the ground. "Whoa!"

"That is 6,000 bits. I don't need them." He gasped and looked up at me in shock.

"6-6-6-6,000 bits?! N-no, I couldn't possibly--"

"Just take them. I never use bits anyway! If anything, the weight is just a burden to me."

"A-are you s-sure?"

"Yeah, now, if you'll excuse me, I've got some criminals to find..." I started closely examining the door. Apple stuttered a few more times as he backed out of the kitchen. "Ok... Somepony broke the door, so it wasn't a unicorn, they'd just unlock it... Hmm? What's this?" As I took a closer look at the screen door, I saw a small patch of black fabric and a tuft of fur hanging from one of the wires. It was deep red, but to the touch it was dry and fluffy, so it wasn't blood. "Hey Blueberry!"

"Yes hero?" She called from the main room.

"Could you see if they had wings? You know, were there bumps under their suits?"

"No, neither of them had wings!" Good, that meant I was looking for a red earth pony. The fur was obviously from a coat, not a mane. It was too fine and short to be mane hair.

"We should look upstairs for more clues. Huh, I think I should check upstairs for more clues..." I walked away from the screen door and back into the main room. Apple was babbling incoherently and gessturing to Blueberry then the coin pouch.

"Are you ok papa?" She asked nervously.

"Oh, he's just happy. How do I get upstairs?" She pointed a hoof at the kitchen.

"Why is he so happy?"

"Look in the pouch. Bye." I walked back into the kitchen and saw a small staircase o the opposite side of the room from the door. I hadn't noticed it on my way in. I started walking up the stairs.

"Oh my Celestia!" Blueberry shouted behind me. I grinned and kept walking. At the top of the stairs was a trapdoor. I pushed it open and pulled myself up into a small room. Inside was one ratty matress lying on the ground, and a nice little crib. The crib was well kept and looked freshly painted. There were tons of brand-new toys in the crib. It was obvious they cared very much for Strawberry. Then something dawned on me. I pulled out my phone and called Luna.

"Oh, hello Sharky! What doth thou need?"

"Look, I can't talk long Luna, but I need to go back to Ponyville for a minute. Then I need to come back to this location. You can do that right?"

"Of course! May we... I inquire as to the reason?"

"... I'm sorry princess, but I can't tell you this time."

"Why ever not?"

"It... could be very bad... Can you just trust me on this one?" She didn't even blink.

"Of course we... I trust you. Very well." In a flash, I was standing in Twilight's library again.

"Sharky! Back already?" She was still in the same corner, still reading.

"Yeah, where's Fang?"

"He came in not too long ago, why?"

"FANG!" As soon as I yelled, Fang came out of the bedroom and bolted down the stairs, barking like an idiot. He jumped into me and somehow managed to grip my shoulders with his forepaws. He started licking my face happily, but he was sliding down and about to fall, so I wrapped him in a hug. "Hey boy! Hey, stop licking me for a second ok?" He gave me one last long lick on my right cheek, the backed his head away from my face and stared at me intensely. "Hey, I need your help ok? A little filly's life could be in danger. Can you be serious and help me?" He nodded vigerously. "That means no licking, no barking, no running off, no playing, and no fighting anything without my permission." He blinked a few times, as if thinking, then nodded again. "Good."

"Sharky, what do you mean a filly's life is in danger?!" Twilight shouted. I put my finger to her lips to quiet her down.

"Stay calm! Look, I've just got... a little crime to bust ok? Don't worry, I'm dealing with normal ponies, nothing dangerous. I just need Fang's help." Her eyes got wider and she started squirming under my finger. I sighed. Then I took my hand away from her mouth and quickly pulled out my phone and called Luna. She answered right away. "Go now!"

"Sharky you can't--" I flashed away in a black light. "... just go around and... *sigh*..."

We were back in the building, just like Luna said. She had hung up right after teleporting us. I guess she was respecting my wishes for her to not get involved.

"Ok Fang, smell this for me." I put Fang down on the ground held out the tuft of fur for him. He quickly sniffed it vigerously. Then sniffed the ground and started sniffing around. "I don't think you'll find a scent here, it'll be at least three days old. I just want you to remember that smell. We're going to search Canterlot for a match, ok?" He nodded vigerously. Then what I just said dawned on me. "Oh crap... I gotta search all of Canterlot..."

Criminals

"Well... better get started I guess. Yeah, nice going genius." I took Fang downstairs to check around the door.

"AHHH! A wolf!" Apple yelled.

"No no! Calm down! This is my pet! His name is Fang. He doesn't hurt... good ponies. Just don't attack me, and you should be fine..." He eyed Fang warily.

"Uhh... if you say so hero..."

"Dammit, I'm not a hero! Just shut up and bathe in the glory."

"The mean guy is right! Isn't it a good thing to be a hero?" I blinked a few times.

"What did he say?" Apple gave me a confused look.

"You can't hear him? He told you to enjoy the glory!"

"In those exact words?"

"... Well, no... He was a bit more rude about it..." I nodded.

"Sounds like him. Well, I'm off! I'll be back with your granddaughter... soon hopefully. Which way did they go when they left?" He poked his head outside the back door. The back door lead to a three-way alley that formed a big 'T'.

"They ran down this path." He pointed down the trail to the left. I nodded.

"Thank you. I'll be back." I ran down the alley, Fang close behind.

"Good luck!" Apple called after me.

"Thanks! Don't need it! Ok Fang, see if you can pick up the scent while we go ok?" He nodded at me again and started sniffing as he ran. We soon reached the end of the alley. It led out into a street, both sides were lined with buildings, all in disrepair. "Ok Fang... left or right?" He sniffed in each direction, then looked at me and shrugged. "Right, still a wolf. Uhh... eenie meenie miney RIGHT!" I took off to my right down the road. I took care to duck behind cover as I went. I definitely didn't want attention right now. Fang took care to sniff at all the houses as we passed them. Soon, the road ended at a little cul-de-sac. "Ok... check for the scent boy." Fang quickly jogged around all the houses, sniffing at all the doors. He rounded the buildings and came back to me. He shook his head no. "Well dang, wrong way. Well, let's try the other direction." Fang nodded and we took off again. We took the other side of the road this time, that way Fang could sniff at the houses on the other side of the road. We followed it for quite a while, until we reached an alley on our right. It was either take the alley, or continue down the road. "If I was a criminal, which I'm the closest thing we got, I'd take the alley. Don't want an innocent bystander to see me..." Fang nodded at me and dashed down the alley. I took off after him. "Hey! What did I say about running off?!" He didn't seem to hear me and he just kept going. The alley led to another street, but this one was lined by houses on one side and it led to a gigantic factory looking building. The building had patterns of pipes lacing around it and vents all over it, just like a human factory. Fang sniffed a few more times then he looked at me and wagged his tail. "You have the scent boy?" He nodded and pointed at the factory with a forepaw. "They in there? Figures those geniuses would hide in a building only three blocks away from the crime. We're either dealing with masterminds, or idiots. Well, that took way less time then I thought it would! Let's go get 'em boy!" He wagged his tail in agreement. We charged towards the factory boldly, not bothering to hide any more. The factory had a barbed wire fence around it, but the gate was wide open. Fang and I ran inside. The pipes we passed on our way to the main building were rusty and unused, and no steam came from the factory. It was abandoned. We were soon at the main building, and I could hear crying from the inside. "Strawberry!" I exclaimed quietly. I pressed my back against the wall of the building and started edging along the side of the factory. I crept in the direction of the crying, and soon I found an open door where the noise was evidently coming from. "Well, they leave all the doors unlocked and don't gag the baby. We're dealing with idiots." The door opened into the factory, so I was able to stick my head around the corner and peer inside.

"Ugh! How do we shut it up?!" There were a total of three ponies in a small office-like room. One was a red earth pony stallion, the one I had gotten the fur from. He was sitting in a chair behind a big wooden desk. In front of him, laying on the desk was a wailing baby with a red mane and a yellow coat. She had a strawberry hairband. Sitting nearest to the door was a dark green earth pony mare with an olive colored mane. She was the one talking.

"Strawberry... Good, she's alive..." I mumbled to myself. I had already thought so, but to be honest the crying could've been anypony. I had only hoped it was Strawberry.

"I don't know! Why don't we just get rid of it?!" The red one asked.

"You mean give it back?" The green one asked.

"No ya fool! I mean kill it!"

"But we promised those ponies that we'd leave her alive iffn' they didn't call the guards on us!"

"Do I look like I care? It's not like we can just go and hand her back! Then they'd call the guards on us fer sure!"

"Well I know this ain't worth the money we got for it. The boss is gonna be awful sore when he sees how little money we got..."

"Well let's just kill the baby then go steal somethin' else!"

"Fine. It don't sit too right with me killin' a babe though..."

"Just get over it ya big baby! We done worse before!"

"Well how we gonna do it?"

"Easy, you just lift your hoof like so..." The red one raised his hoof above Strawberry's head.

"Like fuckin' hell I'm gonna let you do that!" I charged in and rammed the green one so hard that she flew into the nearest wall and collapsed to the ground in a heap. Unconscious or dead, I didn't really care at this point. I turned to dispatch the red one, but he had grabbed Strawberry and was holding her in a choke hold. "Oh, yeah..."

"Yeah! Make another move an' the foal dies hero!" I gave him a small smile.

"Fine, I won't make another move." His gaze turned wary.

"Good... now, no funny buisness or OH MY CELESTIA!" Fang had crept up behind him and slammed himself into the chair. The red pony was so startled that he flung his forelegs out, throwing Strawberry. She flew off to my right, and I jumped and caught her before she hit a wall. Then Fang crept around to the front of the chair and jumped on the red pony directly, growling in his face. I heard a small sound of liquid hitting concrete.

"Did you just piss yourself!? Ha! That's fuckin' hilarious! Oh my gosh, did you just pee? Grow a pair man!" His only response was a fearful whimper. "Fang, go to town. Just don't kill him." Fang yipped in response and started tearing into the red pony. His screams might have effected me more if I wasn't so pissed at him. "Ok Fang, that's enough." Fang pulled away from the pony and jumped out of the chair. The pony was covered in scratches and bite marks, and his fur was matted down where blood covered it. He was still screaming. I walked over, Strawberry safely secured in my left arm, and back-handed him with my right hand. Which gave him another gash across his right cheek. He shut up instantly.

"Please! Don't kill me! I'll be a good pony from now on! I swear!" He begged.

"Don't beg for your life! It's not gonna work! I don't care what you promise! You were going to kill this innocent baby! Get used to gay sex prison bars, because that's what your gonna spend the rest of your life staring at bub!" After that I gave him a hard right cross, knocking him out. I pulled out my phone and called Luna.

"Greetings again Sharky! Doth thou... where did thou procure that foal?"

"Hey Luna... I just busted up a couple of foalnappers. Mind sending a few guards to drag them off to prison?"

"Sharky! Thou hath done what?! That is the job of Royal Guards, not Lunar Knights!"

"The criminals threatened to kill this baby if the Royal Guards got involved. I was asked to help by a desperate mare. I had to do it Luna. It doesn't matter anyway, I've got the baby, and the bad guys are unconscious... One might be dead..." I went over and checked the green one. She was still breathing. "Nevermind, she's fine. Can you just send a few guards?"

"... Sharky... Good job we... I suppose... We... I will send a few guards to thine location immediately."

"Good. Thanks Luna. I'm gonna go deliver this foal... then try and find Rarity..."

"Thou left Rarity alone in Canterlot?!"

"No, I left her in a crowd of screaming fans! Anyway, the baby was more important at the time. Now that she's fine, Rarity is top priority again. Anyway, I've got to go now. It's getting really late, and I want to spend at least a little time with Rarity before I gotta take her home."

"Very well, fare thee well Sharky!"

"Bye Luna." I hung up. Strawberry had stopped crying in my arms. She was staring up at me, tears still fresh in her eyes. Then I noticed the smell. "Whoa! I guess it was too much for them to change a dang diaper huh?" She choked out a small sob. "Well, let's get you home to mama, huh?" I jogged out of the factory, Fang by my side. I walked down the road for a grand total of 30 seconds before somepony saw me.

"Look! It's the hero!"

"Oh dammit. Run Fang!" I increased my pace to a sprint and searched desperately for my escape alley. Then I was grabbed by a silver aura and lifted slightly off the ground. "Oh... well that's just not fair."

"Hero! Hero! Why do you have a foal?!" A blue unicorn with a silvery mane ran up to me. Again, it was a mare.

"Saved her from some foalnappers, now would you mind putting me down so I can return her?" She flinched and dropped the aura.

"Oh, my bad. Wait, you saved another pony?! You are so--" I ran away as she spoke. There was already a crowd growing behind her to chase me, but she stopped it and appeared to be telling them what happened. I ran back down the alley I had come from and into the next street. Then the crowd from the other street poured into the alley as well.

"Oh geez. I really don't need this!" The crowd made no move to surround or catch up to me though, they merely followed me. They were chanting.

"Heeero! Heeero! Heeero!" I sighed.

"This is what you get for helpin'. I'd just let em' suffer." As I ran down the next street, more ponies poured out of the houses and joined the crowd. I groaned and continued down the next street until I found the next alley. I walked past it and walked around to the front of the Cake King. I pushed open the door. "Hey Blueberry! Look who I got!" She had been sitting in a booth next to the door, twiddling her hooves and looking nervous. As soon as I called out, she looked up quickly and squealed.

"You found her! Oh thank you thank you thank you!" She ran at me and I lowered Strawberry so she could grab her. She gingerly picked her up with her forehooves. She stood up on her back legs and hugged Strawberry tightly to her chest. Strawberry smiled and laid her head against her mother contentedly. I smiled. This was what my job was all about, making sure families didn't lose each other. I silently backed out of the building, right into the roaring crowd. I turned to them and held out my arms as if I was about to speak. The crowd quieted down for a moment.

"Great cakes in there." I said simply, gesturing to the Cake King. The crowd cheered and some of them rushed into the building. The rest just kept chanting 'hero'. I really didn't like the attention, but there really wasn't anything I could do. I decided to go look for Rarity now, the crowd following me as I turned to leave.

Salon

It didn't take me long to re-trace my steps back to the cafe where I had left Rarity. Sure enough, she was still there. Now she was seated in the cafe, surrounded by a silent crowd. She appeared to be telling a story of some sort. It would have been impossible for me to sneak up on her had the crowd still been following me, but once they discovered a wolf among them a while back they all took off, screaming at me to kill it. I had taken the chance to run off again and lose them. I crept up quietly to the back of the crowd. The cafe had an outdoor seating area, and that's where Rarity was sitting. I was able to hear her story from the back of the crowd, but it seemed to almost be over.

"That's when the evil copy of Sharky almost killed the real one! I levitated his leg out from under him, knocking him into the mud! After that, he knocked me unconscious magically, but--"

"With that move, she saved my life and allowed me to start beating on the evil copy." I interrupted. The entire crowd, including Rarity turned to me in shock. "If Rarity hadn't done that, I'd be dead and she'd have nopony to take her out tonight!" The crowd all seemed too shocked to move for a moment, so I took the chance to shock them even more. "Also, meet my pet wolf. Fang?" He charged away from my side, snarling and snapping like a mad dog. The ponies all screamed and ran in fear. As soon as they were gone, Fang quieted back down and nonchalantly came back to my side. "Good boy. Hey Rarity! How are you?" I walked up to the cafe where she was seated. She hit my chest with a hoof. "Ow?"

"You left me! Abandoned me to drown in the sea of ruffians!" She wailed dramatically. I rolled my eyes.

"Well, I'm sorry, but I had to go."

"What could possibly distract you from the glamor that is Rarity?" Wow, the attention must have swelled her head a little.

"A foalnapping. Just had to go save a filly's life. How was your time with the 'sea of ruffians'?" She flinched.

"Oh, I'm sorry dear, I didn't realize it was that kind of thing... I thought you just left because you didn't want to be around me..."

"Nonsense! I love being around 'the glamor that is Rarity'!" She flinched again.

"Oh... did I truly say that? I apologize, the attention must've gone to my head a little." I smiled.

"No worries. So, seriously, how did you enjoy your time with the crowd?"

"Oh, it was simply fabulous! They all wanted me to design for them!"

"Wow, all of them? That's fantastic! You did tell them you work in Ponyville right?"

"Why of course dear! I can't expect them to purchase my designs if they don't know where to go!"

"Right, silly me. Well, how did you end up telling them that story?"

"Well, one of them asked me to tell them about one of your adventures! For some reason, they all believe I'm your marefriend and I know all about you." I flinched this time.

"Yeah, I had to tell them something to get them to leave me alone. Sorry about that."

"Oh, it's no trouble dear. I don't mind being called your marefriend..."

"Oh, no need to flatter me. I know it was problably a burden on you to have to pretend that."

"... Well... A burden to pretend anyway..."

"Right, that's what I said. Wow, did he really not pick that up? I caught it. Anyway, let's get that mane fixed, shall we?"

"... Steven? You understand?"

"Why are you talking to Steven? I thought we agreed to ignore him... Of course! Damn, he must be denser than a brick..." Rarity nodded.

"Sadly, he is. Could you explain it to him? I'm not allowed to say it myself."

"Are you still talking to Steven? I can't talk to him directly unless he's asleep. Even if I could, I wouldn't. This is too damn funny." Rarity narrowed her eyes.

"Well... how rude."

"What? Did Steven insult you? I told you not to talk to him."

"... No. He did not insult me." She let out a deep sigh. "Let's just... try to enjoy the rest of the evening together, ok?" I smiled.

"Sure thing! Now, did you ever find out where we can find a nice mane salon?"

"Why, yes I did! One of the fans was happy to point me to the nearest salon in exchange for the story! It's right this way dear." She pointed down the right side of the street. I nodded and picked her up in my right arm.

"Ok! C'mon Fang!" He jogged beside me happily as I took off in the direction of the mane salon.

"Yes, I've been meaning to ask, how is Fang here, and why? Not that I don't enjoy his crowd-clearing prowess..."

"Oh, Fang got here because I asked Luna to help me bring him here to help me find the foal-nappers. Oh, and that's why he's here, the foal-nappers. The crowd-clearing was just a bonus."

"Oh, I see. Well, how did it go anyway? The rescue."

"Eh, it was fairly easy, I just followed their possible trail until Fang picked up their scent. Then I just beat the living hell out of 'em disabled them and recovered the filly."

"Wow, how brave of you!"

"BWAHAHAHA!! Rarity, I killed a demon snowman that could breathe fire and tried to impale me with icicles of death earlier today. A couple of low-life earth ponies that are cowardly enough to steal a baby were no problem."

"Oh... that does throw it into perspective I suppose... Still, saving a filly like that..."

"Please don't make a big deal of it... Oh, here's the salon!" We had arrived at a large fancy building that looked like a mane being styled. Litterally, from the ground up, it looked like a giant mane. It was purple and there were scissors cutting it at the very top, and some gel being applied to it in the middle above the door. All fake and only there to look cool... I assume. I pushed open the door and walked in. The door jingled, signaling that there was a new customer.

"Hey! Can't you read!? The sign says-- Hey! You're the hero!" A light blue pegasus mare with a curly white mane with darker streaks through it had been behind a small podium at the front, and she seemed ecstatic to see me.

"Yeah, hero. Whatever." I still didn't like being called a hero, but I figured it was no use fighting back any more.

"Well... We're supposed to be closed right now..."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I was just trying to find a place to fix my friend's hair." I took off Rarity's hat and the mare gasped. "You see, she had an unfortunate run in with... I'll just go with dragon."

"This is an emergency! Nevermind about us being closed! Girls!" She called out and a bunch of mares showed up out of nowhere. "We have a mane emergency here! Get right on it!" I placed Rarity on the ground, and she was swept away by the sudden mob of mares.

"Wow, thanks!"

"Oh, anything for a friend of the hero! Say, what's it like?" She leaned on the podium with her... elbows? Well, she was using the joint on her forelegs to prop up her head. She was staring at me with intrest.

"What's what like?"

"Being a hero of course! You know, fighting monsters, saving lives, it all sounds very charming!"

"Oh, it's not what it sounds li--"

"WOLF!! Get it hero!" I guess she finally noticed Fang by my side. She jumped away from the podium and was cowereing next to a flowerpot.

"Oh, that's my pet. He's kinda my sidekick... or companion... nah, let's go with sidekick. It sounds cooler."

"Y-your pet is a w-wolf?"

"Well yeah. What did you expect a monster hunter to have, a bunny?"

"Oh... Well, when you put it that way it sounds kinda obvious..." She crept back away from her flower pot and resumed her position on the podium. "Now... what were we talking about?"

"Something about being a hero..."

"Oh yes, you were saying what it was like!"

"Right, well, it's not what you'd expect at all I suppose. You get the tar beaten out of you more than anything."

"It's worth it for the fame and fortune right?"

"To be honest, I hate the fame. I get mobbed everywhere recently. It certainly doesn't help me with fighting when ponies come to watch and I have to save them."

"Oh... I guess that makes sense. Well, the money's good right?"

"Well, to be honest, I can never seem to find a use for the money, so I usually spend it on my friends or give it away..." My eyes widened as I realized I had given away all my bits. "Oh crud! I just gave all my bits to that filly's family! I'm sorry, I can't pay today... Lemme grab Rarity and I'll come back next time I have bits."

"Oh no, it's on the house for the hero. Now, what filly is this?"

"Are you sure? I really don't want to just walk out without having paid you... Oh, and the filly is Strawberry. I had to save her from some foalnappers a few minutes ago." Her eyes got really wide.

"You saved a filly only a few minutes ago!? Tell me about it! Oh, I've got an idea, tell me the story for payment! How's that sound?" I thought for a moment.

"Well... I still feel like I should actually pay you... but I suppose a story will have to do for now. I'll just come and pay you next time I get some bits. Anyway, it goes like this. I had just gotten here and I went to ask for directions..."

"Voila! She is done!" I turned my haed as on of the mares brought out Rarity. Her mane appeared to be back to normal, and it was styled the same was as it had been before it had burnt off. Now that she was back to normal and didn't need her hat, she looked much better. Coupled with her dress... she looked pretty dang good.

"Holy crow! Rarity, you look amazing! Great job girls!" They beamed at me and bowed in thanks a few times. Rarity blushed and looked away from me. I blushed at the bowing. "C'mon girls, there's no need for that..." They straightened back up.

"Yes hero!" One of them said humbly. I facepalmed.

"No, I'm not giving you orders! Please don't act like that..."

"What do you want us to act like hero?" I facepalmed again.

"Thanks for the help, Glad you liked the story. Bye." I turned and pulled Rarity out of the salon.

"Wait! You forgot to pay them dear!" Rarity reminded me.

"Nah, I traded a story for the job today. I'll pay them when I have some bits."

"What happened to the rest of your bits?"

"I gave them to the filly I rescued's family."

"Well... how charitable."

"No, it was the right thing to do. We should get back home now, it's really late... I wanted to take you to dinner, but that'll have to wait until after my next mission."

"Oh, you didn't have to do that dear!"

"Well, I want to. Next time I have money, we'll come back, pay the nice mares in the salon, then go out to dinner. Sound good?"

"Fabulous dear, it's a date."

"Yes. Wait, not a date date, but a date... you know what, I'm gonna stop talking. Finally!" I pulled out my phone again and hit Luna's call button. She picked up on the third ring.

"Thou again Sharky? What doth thou need?"

"Hi Luna. I'm very sorry to bug you so much!"

"Oh, it's no trouble."

"Well, all the same, I'm sorry I called so many times today. This is the last one, I promise. I'm just finally ready to go back to Ponyville."

"Very well, did you enjoy your time in Canterlot?"

"Yes, it was fantastic! Other than the foalnappers and crazy fan crowds... other than that it was great though."

"What delightful news! We... I drift away from the subject at hoof however, teleporting now." I grabbed Rarity and Fang as we disappeared in a flash of black light.

"Thanks Luna!" I was in the library again, Twilight was no longer in her corner. Fang walked away from my side and curled up in a corner to sleep.

"Tis no trouble Sharky. Farewell!"

"Bye!" Luna hung up. "Well, let's get you home Rarity."

"Yes, home sounds *yawn* Oh, excuse me! Home sounds nice..."

"Wow, tired huh? Guess dinner would've been a bad idea anyway. Well, lets go." I started out of the library with Rarity. Soon we were at the boutique. I ran upstairs and placed Rarity in her bedroom. "Bye Rarity!"

"Goodbye Sharky. I had a great time tonight..."

"So did I. Well, I should get home..." I turned and walked back downstairs. Then I stepped outside and realized how paralyzingly dark it was outside, and I was all alone. Buck. I walked back upstairs and knocked on Rarity's bedroom door.

"Sharky? Is that you?"

"Yeah, it is... Hey, you don't mind if I spend the night, do you?"

"No, of course not!"

"Cool, where can I sleep?" She pulled open the bedroom door. She had taken off the dress.

"Well, you'll be taking my bed of course!"

"Oh, no way!"

"Yes you will. I'm not letting you sleep on the floor or in a chair, that would be unlady-like of me!"

"Ugh... Will you please take it? A gentleman doesn't let a lady sleep on the floor either!"

"Fair point, but I am the host, therefore it would be twice as rude if I let you sleep anywhere but in the bed!"

"Gah! ... Share?"

"Yes... that could work..."

"Ok... well... how do I keep ending up like this? Do you want to get in the bed first or shall I?"

"Oh please, you first."

"Fine." I walked over to Rarity's bed and laid down on the right side facing the middle of the bed. Rarity jumped on the left side of the bed and pulled the covers up to her neck. She was facing me.

"Aren't you going to get under the blanket dear?"

"Nah, I like to be cold when I sleep."

"Oh... interesting. Well... goodnight."

"Goodnight... I'm really sorry about this Rarity. Thanks for being a good friend." Rarity narrowed her eyes.

"... Goodnight."

Boutique

Since Steven's voice is in italics, bold will now mean thought and underline means emphasis. From now on.

Thursday, January 24th

I woke up slowly today. The kind of waking up where you have to lay there for a few minutes before your body lets you move. I hadn't dreamed last night, or at least not that I could remember. As my brain slowly started working and driving away the haziness from my vision, I felt... heavier. I was laying down on my back, and somehow Rarity had uncovered herself and rolled over in her sleep and was laying spread-eagle on my chest. Her newly repaired mane was slightly frizzled, and she was snoring away softly. She was freakin' adorable. I didn't want to wake her up, so I decided to lay back and be quiet. She didn't suddenly jump awake, so I assume Steven was either still asleep or decided not to bother her either. I just sat there for a while, listening to the soft rhythm of Rarity's breaths.

"God I love it here." I mumbled quietly. Then I started thinking.

Everything is awesome here. Where else can you wake up with a pretty fashionista unicorn sleeping soundly on your chest? No matter how many times I get beaten, moments like this make it worth all the pain and confusion this world causes me. That and Unity. God I love that little guy. That reminds me, shouldn't I go check on him? Nah, Twilight has it covered I'm sure. Thank Celestia her and Fluttershy agreed to help me out. Without them, I'd be hopelessly lost with Unity... I can't believe how lucky I am. This easily is the single greatest thing to happen to anybody. Ever. Then, Rarity began to stir on my chest, interrupting my thoughts. She moaned lazily and stretched her limbs before blinking her eyes open and staring right into my open eyes. I smiled at her.

"Hey there." She blinked a few more times and I could feel her tense up against me, but then she relaxed and let her body relax.

"Hello Sharky..." She said softly. She laid her head on my chest and sighed. "This is nice..."

"Yeah, sure is. It feels great not to have to run off and do something for a change..."

"How often do you get a break like this dear?"

"Uhh... I don't. Not since I came here anyway. The constant work is nice... but even I need to rest eventually..." Rarity let out a soft giggle.

"Not that you don't try to avoid it dear!" I laughed along with her.

"Yeah, I guess I do push myself a little. It's for the good of everypony else though, so I'm gonna keep doing it."

"Heh, I'll bet you will..."

"Oooooooh!!! This totally proves it! I knew she was your special somepony! I just knew it!" Sweetiebelle was in the doorway, jumping like a crazed kangaroo. Before I could say anything, she dashed off triumphantly.

"Oh no! I'm sorry Sharky!" Rarity started to get up, but I pulled her back down and laughed.

"It's no big deal. She's just one filly, it's not like it actually matters. Right now though... I'm enjoying just laying here. With one of my best friends ever." Rarity flinched against my chest then sighed.

"Yes... friend... I'm enjoying this too..."

"Good... do you mind if we just lay here a while? I haven't relaxed like this in ages it feels like..."

"Of course not dear, I suppose I could stand to relax a little myself..."

"Really? You stressed out too?"

"I suppose you could say that."

"What's got you upset?"

"Oh, just the densest pony I've ever met." I blinked a few times.

"Who would that be?"

"... Dear Celestia... just go back to relaxing Sharky..."

"Whatever you say... Ahh, it feels good to just--"

*HAAAALELUJAH*

"Oh for the love of all things holy!" I edged Rarity off of my chest and onto the bed next to me. I pulled out my phone and answered the call. Luna's face filled the screen. "Hello Luna, what's up?"

"Uhh... the sky? Is that not always above?"

"No, it's a movie."

"A what?"

"Nevermind. What do you need?"

"We... I hath a new mission for thou, Sharky."

"Well darn... Sweet! Just woke up, what'd I miss? Well, what am I hunting?" Luna gave me a confused look.

"Thou... hath just awoken?" I gave her a confused look right back, but Rarity started clearing her throat, so I turned to look at her. She mouthed 'Steven'.

"Ohhhh! I guess I haven't told you about Steven yet, huh Luna?"

"No, thou hath not mentioned him. Is he a new friend of thous?"

"... No, he's one of my two voices. Steven is a total prick and when my voice changes, I'm Steven, not Sharky."

"We... I apologize, please expain this further?" I sighed.

"I have two people in my head. One is me, this one, and one is Steven. Steven is a jerk. If my voice changes, I'm Steven, not Sharky." Luna slowly nodded.

"We... I suppose this makes some form of sense... Anyway, thou hath a new mission Sharky... and Steven."

"Bitchin'! I loves me a good fight! Ok Luna, if you need my help, I'm there. What is it?"

"A stone golem has accidentally been let loose in one of the unicorn cities."

"A golem?"

"Yes, an animate creature made from--"

"No, I'm familiar with golems, but you guys can make them? That's pretty sweet."

"A rampaging rock monster is no sugary snack Sharky..." I facepalmed. I've been doing that a lot lately.

"Nevermind, just get me to the city..."

"Now? Doesn't thou wish to prepare?"

"How big is a golem here?"

"Only slightly larger than it's creator."

"Nah, I'll be just fine. I can go now."

"Very well, teleporting thou now..."

"Wait, if a golem is a magically animated creature, how come nopony in a unicorn city can stop it?"

"Once a golem has been released, it cannot simply be stopped by magic, one must defeat and destroy it."

"Got it. Ready to go now."

"Good. Teleporting thou now..."

"Bye Rarity!" In a flash of black light, I was gone.

I was flashed into the middle of what appeared to be a town square. All the buildings around me were styled to look like books or piles of books.

"Geez, Twilight would love it here... So, how does one find a rampaging stone po--" I heard a giant crash as a book building to my right exploded outward. A shower of dust was flung out by the impact, and when it cleared there was a rock pony just a little bit bigger than Big Mac standing among the debri. It's eyes were piercing white with no pupil whatsoever. It's gaze locked on the only living thing in the area, Me. "Oh, joy. Found it. Huh... I was expecting a bit more." The rock pony lowered it's head and charged at me like a crazed bull. I rolled my eyes. I crouched down and braced my arms to catch the golem. It's head rammed into my hands, stopping it cold. I grabbed it's rocky throat with both hands and lifted it off the ground. He was a heavy guy, but the miasma gave me enough strength to lift and hold him.

"Oh no! Another monster!" A unicorn screamed from a nearby building. I sighed in relief.

"Good, a town where they don't know me! Hey, focus. You're holding a giant rock pony." The golem was flailing around wildly in my grasp, and it wasn't making it any easier for me to hold him up. "So, let's see... My shark blades won't effect you... Ah, I've got an idea!" I heaved greatly, and managed to throw the golem a short distance away. He hit the ground, becoming momentarily stunned. I pointed directly at his head. "Thundraga, thundraga, thundraga, thundraga." Four bolts flew at the golem's head in quick succession. The energy it cost me brought me to my knees. "Way to go genius! Huh, energy drain is new... Guess I never used it like that though..." The golem laid on the ground limply, it's head reduced to mere pebbles. "Well, got the job done I suppose..." I pulled my phone back out and called Luna.

"Sharky! Calling so soon? Is there trouble? Doth thou need assistance?"

"Nah, golem's dead. You're welcome. Can I go home now? I just no found out the physical cost of using my magic too many times in a row..."

"... Thou hath dispatched it already?! Thou hath only been there for a grand total of 3 minutes!"

"Yeah, he wasn't very strong..."

"... Very well... We... I suppose we... I should not be shocked by this..."

"Next time send us to a real fight! Ya got my hopes up fer nothin' bitch!" Luna flinched at me.

"That Steven fellow truly is horrible..." She muttered.

"Oh man! Steven, shut up! Can you just send me home now?"

"Very well, we... I shall teleport thou now..."

"Cool." Again, I disappeared in a flash of black light.

I flashed back onto Rarity's bed.

"Oh! Sharky! You're back already!" Rarity exclaimed. She was in the corner of the bedroom, in front of a mirror.

"Yeah, easy kill... why are you wearing a maid outfit?" Rarity was dressed up in a cute little frilly maid's outfit.

"... I always dress like this when I clean?"

"Oh god, I got good money on him buying that! Oh, that makes sense I guess. Well, I should get back to my son. I didn't get to spend as much time as I wanted with him yesterday... Called it!" Then I swung my legs over the side of the bed and tried to stand up. I fell backward onto the bed the moment my feet contacted the ground. "Ok... dizzy..." My vision swam and my head pounded as the fatigue from the spell casting reminded me of it's prescence. "Whoa... ok, guess I'm not standing for a bit..."

"Are you ok dear?!" Rarity ran over to my side and started running a hoof over my head as if I were sick.

"Yeah, just a little exhausted from some rapid spell casting... apparently using my thundraga four times in a row is a bad idea..."

"Oh you poor thing! I'll go get you something to drink!" She darted out of the room and I groaned.

"No way I'm goin through this crap again, last time I let somepony take care of me, she ended up getting drunk and kissing me." I forced myself to stand again. This time I stayed standing until the desire to vomit and fall over subsided. I stumbled towards the door, but Rarity came back before I could leave.

"Oh no you don't! You need to rest mister!" She lifted me with her aura and moved me back over to the bed.

"Ah crud... you know, I really can do fine..."

"Ha! I think not my dear! You can't even admit when you can't stand!"

"So? I'll be fine! I just need to get back to my son."

"Look, you know I'm your... friend, yes?"

"Of course I do Rarity!"

"You know I only have your best intrests at heart yes?"

"And I yours."

"Then please trust me? I only wish to help you dear!"

"But--"

"Ah ah! No 'but's!"

"... Fine, I'll trust you I suppose..."

"Good. Now, drink this." She levitated me a small cup. I grabbed it from her aura and looked inside. Just water. I tossed it back and handed her the cup. "Good boy. Now, go to sleep..."

"But I'm not tire-- whoa... what the..." A sudden wave of drowsiness washed over me from nowhere. "W-what the..." Rarity smiled.

"I'm sorry dear. I got some sleeping potion from Shadow a while back to help Sweetiebelle with some insommnia. I knew it would be the only way to get you to stay put and rest."

"... Fair... enough... Wow... That's some... strong stuff... I... regret... nothing." Soon, both me and Steven were out like lights.

Visit

"Mmmmm... Man... that stuff just knocked me out..." I mumbled as I entered the dream realm. I was in a school bus driving backwards on the bottom of a cloud. Upside down.

"Yeah, it got me too." Steven was in the seat at the back of the bus.

"Well duh! You go out when I do!" Steven laughed.

"Not quite. Remeber that snowman fight? When you got majorly owned, I stepped in and killed it for you."

"... You can control my body?"

"Fuck yeah! Only when you can't though."

"... Note to self, no more going unconcious... Well... I guess I should thank you for that..."

"Fuck yeah you should thank me! I saved your ass bitch!"

"Well... if you're gonna be like that then nevermind. So if that potion could knock us both out..."

"Yeah, it was pretty heavy-duty. Ha! I said duty."

"Wow, what are you, 4? I was gonna say that is Sweetiebelle needed something that strong her insommnia must be really bad..."

"Wow, you just got drugged by one of your 'friends' and you're worried about another one's insommnia? Pitiful man. Just pitiful."

"Hey, at least I've got friends! Oh, I'm sorry. I don't mean to hurt your feelings..."

"... Dude, grow a pair. Also, get a better insult book. I don't care about not having friends! All I need is myself!"

"You need me."

"What?"

"Yeah, if anything happens to me you'd be SOL."

"... Dammit. Hey, are we waking up already?" A huge light was bearing down on us.

"Well, it may feel like already, but in dreams time is distorted, so it could be like... night there."

"Huh, I guess I see your point. By the way... Ask Rarity what she did to you while you were out."

"What?" Then the light enveloped us and I was thrown into the waking world.

"Ughhh... Whoa..." I woke up, feeling crazy groggy. I looked around. I was still on Rarity's bed, but Rarity was nowhere in sight. "Sweet, escape time..." I tried to stand up, but I couldn't move my arms. I looked down at myself, and my upper body was tied to the bed with a red ribbon. Literally, the ribbon wrapped all the way around the bed and my body, tying me firmly to the matress. I laughed. "Oh how cute, she thinks she can keep me here with ribbon." I wiggled my arms around a bit until one of my shark blades cut the ribbon around my hand. I slowly worked my arms free then sliced my way out of the binding. "Much better." I stood up again, no wave of diziness hitting me this time. I must have gotten enough rest to make up for the thundraga abuse. I walked out of Rarity's bedroom.

"Gah! What are you doing awake Sharky?!" Sweetiebelle was near the stairs leading down.

"Is Cheerilee still sick? Poor girl. What's wrong with me being awake?"

"Well... it's just... Rarity said she gave you my sleeping potion..."

"Yes..."

"That stuff is supposed to keep you asleep for 8 hours! Shadow said something about it being a healthy sleep amount..."

"How long have I been out?"

"Only 4! Rarity left to go get some stuff to help you rest 'cause she thought you'd still be asleep!"

"Well then it's my lucky day isn't it? I'm running while I can. Tell your sister that I'm fine now ok?"

"You're just gonna leave your special somepony?" I sighed and crouched down. I placed a hand on Sweetiebelle's shoulder and looked her in the eyes.

"Look, Rarity is not my special somepony. She is one of my best friends, but she doesn't think of me like that. We're just friends. I'm sorry. Look at me, I'm not even a pony! It just... it can't happen ok?"

"... But you're always hugging her and stuff!"

"Because she's my friend. I hug all my friends. Even my guy friends when it's necessary."

"Are you sure? I saw you two laying on each other this morning..."

"That's because she rolled over in her sleep and we woke up like that. It didn't mean anything."

"... Well... I'm not sure... but if you say so... are you sure you don't want her to be your special somepony?" I stood up and started walking down the stairs.

"I don't recall saying that." I walked down the stairs and left the building without saying another word.

*SMACK*

"Oh, hi RD. You know, smacking into me is bad for you now." I had been walking back to the library when RD had divebombed into my chest. I caught her as she fell away from me and cradled her in my left arm. "What's up?" She was holding something in her mouth and I grabbed it with my free hand.

"Read that. Then you tell me what's up!" She sounded remotely angry. I frowned and placed her on the ground by my side. Then I looked at the paper she had given me. It was a newspaper. This time I looked at the name of the paper company.

"Huh... Equestria Daily... No comments about that... You know, I always wonder how daily newspapers find enough stories... anyway, front-page article..." I read the bold print on the front page. Damn, about me again. "Cool as ice, hotter than flame. Ok, what's this about... News about Equestria's new hero is the hottest thing out there right now! This hero is cool as can be, but could a certain mare be heating his life up? Our hero, shortly after slaying a gigantic snow abomination, admitted to dating a white unicorn by the name of Rarity! Then, after saving a kidnapped filly, he was seen returning to his new mare friend and taking her out, presumably for a romantic evening!" I pulled the paper away from my face and threw it into the air. I pointed at it as it fell. "Thundraga!" A lightning bolt lanced through the paper, sending it up in a small plume of fire and smoke.

"Whoa! Why'd you do that?! I'm supposed to be the mad one!" RD exclamined.

"Gahhh!!! Why?! Why would this happen! I was just trying to take Rarity to get her mane fixed! I told them she was my marefriend for one second so they would leave me alone! I had to go save a filly! I didn't want this to happen! Rarity's gonna kill me! Oh, and I love how the demon snowman and the filly each get less than a line of text!"

"... So... you aren't dating Rarity?"

"No... Wait, why would you have been mad? Oh god, this'll be good."

"... I... was mad because I never got mentioned even though I got accepted into the Wonderbolts?"

"Oh, I see. I'm sorry they never gave you the attention you deserve. Oh my god he still bought it! Ha!" RD frowned at me.

"Steven gets it?" I frowned at her.

"What did Steven say? Man, I told you guys not to talk to him! Yeah, of course I get it! This guy... he's a real dumbass huh?" RD narrowed her eyes at me.

"Don't you dare talk about him like that!"

"What? What did I do?"

"Oh.. uh sorry Sharky. Nothing... So, when are we gonna get to hang out again?" I thought for a moment.

"Well, I wanna spend some time with Unity... I really feel like I haven't been much of a dad..."

"Oh, what if I bring Scoots and we have a little play-date kinda thing!"

"Sounds great! Where is she anyway?"

"Shes still asleep. I let her sleep in really late when there's no school."

"You just instantly became one of the coolest moms I know." She grinned sheepishly.

"Really? Aww..."

"Eeyup, now, come to the library when she wakes up for that play-date. I... might still be there."

"Sure thing Sharky! See you soon!"

"Yeah, see you soon buddy." RD's ears drooped.

"... Bye." She flapped her wings and took off. I kept walking to the library. I made it and knocked on the door.

"It's open!" Spike shouted from inside. I pushed the door open and walked in. Spike was re-arranging some books on the shelves, but when he saw me his jaw dropped and he ran over to me. He started pushing on my leg.

"What are you doing?"

"Run! Run now man! Before--" The door slammed behind me. "Oh no..."

"Oh... hello Sharky..." Twilight was at the top of the steps leading to the bedroom.

"Hi Twilight! How ar--"

"Why are you here? Shouldn't you be out there? With your new marefriend?" She practically spat out the word 'marefriend'.

"Oh geez, you read that paper too? GAH! I officially hate the paparazzi! Is he not sensing the danger here? I feel it. I feel very threatened right now. Look, I'm not dating Rarity!" Twilight gave me a confused look.

"... You... you aren't?"

"No! I just told this huge mob that so they would leave me alone! I was trying to save a filly's life! Ugh.. when Rarity finds this out... she's gonna kill me... I'm not even a pony! I don't see why the news crews even think it's possible for her to like me! So, is he in flat-out denial, or does he really believe this? Maybe he's trolling us... nah, I got his trolling. Nevermind."

"You... you're serious right now? Is Pinkie Pie going to jump out of somewhere and tell me how good you guys pranked me?" Twilight started looking around wildly.

"Uhh... no. I haven't even seen Pinkie in a while... Why?"

"You're sure? You really don't understand?"

"Noooo... why, should I? Am I missing something? Nope, he really believes it. Damn."

"Sharky... Ugh.. my head is pounding from the pure exposure to obliviousness... I need to go lay down..."

"Uhh... ok. Goodnight Twi!"

"... Sharky... Yes, goodnight. Do you want to read later?"

"I'd love too! As soon as I'm free. I've got a play-date with RD and Scoots here soon, then I've got to take Rarity to a dinner I promised her tonight... as soon as Luna sends me my pay... So how about right inbetween those two things?" Twilight nodded.

"Sounds good. I'm going to go lay down now. Unity is down for an afternoon nap. He should wake up soon though."

"Fantastic! Thanks for taking such good care of him Twi!"

"It's no trouble Sharky."

"Oh no, it really means a lot to me. Without you... I'd be hopelessly lost with Unity. I feel like a horrible dad..." Twilight totted down the steps to me.

"Come now! You're a great dad! You just have to work a lot..."

"I know I have work... but that shouldn't be an excuse! I need to make time for him! I need to make time for you guys too! I feel like I'm slowly losing my friends the more time I spend away from them..."

"Now that's ridiculous! All your friends care about you very much! I'm sure they don't mind you being busy!"

"Well I know you do. You complain about it all the time."

"No! I complain about you being busy hunting monsters! I wouldn't mind... as much... if it were a regular job!"

"Well, all the same, I'm too busy all the time and I need to focus on spending more time with you guys."

"Sharky, you don't need to try even harder! You already work like crazy to spend time with everypony and do your job and take care of Unity! You're going to burn yourself out!"

*BLEEECH* Spike burped loudly.

"Well, excuse you Spike!" Twilight chided. "Where were we?"

"Me burning myself out. Are you sure? I really do feel like I've been neglecting everypony."

"Nonsense! I'm sure everypony here knows just how much you care about them!"

"Ok... If you say so... Well, you get that sleep ok? I'm just going to wait for RD and Scootaloo."

"Ok Sharky. Wake me up when the play-date is over ok?"

"Sure."

"Hey, Twilight... I hate to interrupt, but Shining Armor just responded to your letter!" Twilight turned away from me and trotted over to Spike.

"Oooh! He finally responded! Give me the letter please Spike!" Spike handed Twilight the parchment he had burped up.

"Who's Shining Armor? Sounds like a fag."

"He's my BBBFF!" I blinked a few times in confusion. Twilight sighed.

"Big brother best friend forever." She explained.

"Ohhh... I didn't know you had a brother!"

"Not many ponies do... I haven't really found a proper time to tell my friends yet either."

"They don't know you have a brother?"

"Not yet, I just haven't mentioned him I suppose..."

"Ah, I understand. What's the letter about?"

"I was just telling him about what it's like in Ponyville! I send him a letter about what goes on here every once in a while... I told him all about you in my last letter!"

"Oh, that's cool! What does it say?"

"It says he's really interested in meeting you! He says he's in Canterlot for the next few days, and he'd like us to visit him!"

"Oh! That sounds great! Yeah, great. Does this Shining Armor fellow know you like this guy?" Twilight blushed for some reason.

"Well... I might have mentioned it..."

"Might have mentioned what? Ah crap, he's gonna give us the 'big brother' act..."

Little time setting here... This takes place in the winter before the royal wedding. Twilight's second year in Ponyville.

Denied

"What's the big brother act?" Twilight asked.

"... What are you talking about?"

"Steven, what's the big brother act?"

"Oh man, you were talking to Steven directly?! Don't acknowledge him! He's right you know. Now that I know you wanna know what it is, there's no way I'm telling you!" Twilight narrowed her eyes.

"Jerk!"

"Me?"

"No, I was referring to Steven!"

"Oh, good. Well... Tell your brother I'm honored, but I just don't have the time!" Twilight's eyes widened.

"Y-you're going to refuse to see Shining Armor?!"

"Yeah... sorry, but like you said, I've got too much to do anyway. I just can't afford to spend my time on it! I would love to meet him, but I'd prefer to spend the little time I have with my son and friends."

"B-but... Shining Armor could be your friend... You two have a lot in common you know, he's a royal guard!"

"Really? Well, that's nice and all, but I simply can't do it!"

"Well... What if I told you he was captain of the royal guard?! Is the visit important enough then?"

"Whoa! I thought Steel was captain of the guard!" Twilight tilted her head at me. Then she seemed to understand what I was talking about.

"Oh! You mean Steel Boulder! No, there are three different kinds of royal knights, there are Lunar Knights, like you, Celestial Knights, led by Rhino, then the Royal Guard. Steel is the captain of the Lunar Knights, Shining Armor is the captain of the Royal Guard!"

"Wow Twilight, how do you know so much about the military forces of Equestria?"

"When your brother is captain of the guard, you learn a few things."

"Well, that makes sense I guess. Still though, just being a captain doesn't make him more important to me. My friends and son come first. Then work, then everything else."

"... Are you sure? It would mean a lot to me if you two met... and got along..."

"Well, some day I'm sure, but I just don't have the time! I'm sorry. Please give him my humblest apologies."

"Hey! Sharky, you there?" RD was knocking on the door.

"Case of point, I've got a play date. You should get to sleep."

"... Ok Sharky... I'll respect your decision. Goodnight..." Twilight trotted back up the stairs and into her bedroom as I answered the door.

"Hi RD! Hi Scootaloo! Hi... Gilda? What are you doing here still? Don't they need you back at the Empire?"

"Maybe, but it's not like I care. Things are way better here! I even made my own cloud house!"

"Wow! Sweet... This won't result in a gryffin attack to reclaim the princess right?"

"Heh, doubt it... there's no way my dad'll care enough to send soliders."

"Right... RD, Scootaloo. Nice to see you guys! Won't you come in?" I stepped out of the doorway and gestured for them to come in. They all filed in and sat down around the table with the wooden horse head. "Sweet. So, how many of you have eaten lunch? Unity's still asleep for now, so I can make us some lunch while we wait."

"I'd love something to eat!" Scootaloo piped up. I smiled at her.

"Yeah, I could go for a bite." RD agreed. Gilda looked nervous.

"Ahh... uhh... no thanks..."

"Not a fan of veggies Gilda? It's ok. Not my favorite either to be honest..." I consoled.

"Then what do you like to eat?" Scootaloo asked innocently. I flinched.

"Oh yeah... I never told you that... Sweetie, Sharky here eats meat. Gilda too. Don't be scared, they don't eat pony." RD explained. Scootaloo's eyes flew open and she started backing up.

"Y-you eat w-what?!" She wailed. She backed up all the way into a bookcase. RD followed her, cooing and trying to embrace her the whole way.

"No no, calm down, Sharky and Gilda are good remember? There's no need to be scared, hush dear..." She slowly calmed Scootaloo down and pulled her into a hug. She rubbed a hoof through Scootaloo's mane and mumbled to her until she stopped shaking.

"Whoa... Where did that come from RD?" I asked in suprise. She lifted her head away from Scootaloo.

"Where did what come from?"

"That! That was some great parenting there..." RD blushed.

"Oh... it's no big deal..."

"Y-yeah... she's a great parent... I'm sorry I freaked out..." Scootaloo managed to mumble.

"Ugh, I think I'm gonna choke on the emotion. It's ok Scootaloo. I totally understand. RD, way to go girl. Well... I can't help you with the meat Gilda, but I'm gonna go make the rest of us a salad... After I ask Twilight if it's ok..."

"It's fine!" Twilight yelled from her room.

"Are you eavesdropping?!"

"No!"

"Freakin' creeper. Go to sleep!"

"Ok!"

"Why do you keep saying mean things?" Scootaloo asked innocently.

"... Uh... RD?"

"Don't worry, I got it. You can go start that lunch."

"Imma go find some lunch of my own. I'll see you guys later." Gilda turned and left the library. I walked into the kitchen and found some lettuce and tomato. Oooh, onions too. I washed my hands, then set to cutting up all the vegetables. I tossed them all into a big bowl and mixed them all together.

"Salad's done!" I called as I divided the dish up into a few bowls for my friends and I. RD and Scootaloo came running in. "... That means you too Twilight!"

"Oh, ok!" I heard her trot down the stairs as she came into the kitchen.

"Ok, everypony dig in!" As we all sat down at a table in the kitchen, I heard crying from upstairs. "Oh, Unity's awake! I'll be right back!" I stood up and left the kitchen quickly. I jogged through the main room and up the steps to the bedroom. Unity was laying in the little bed, still dressed in his pony outfit. He was crying his little eyes out. His tears boiled away and floated away from his face as they rolled down his cheeks. I was a little afraid to pick him up because of it, but at my touch his tears stopped and he was normal temperature. "Hey buddy! Let's go get some lunch ok?" He stared at me blankly. "... Still a baby, right." I walked back out of the bedroom and through the library until I was back in the kitchen. "Everypony enjoying the salads?" There were mixed 'mmm' and 'uh-huh' noises before they all went back to eating. "Well damn, take a breath will ya? Glad to hear you all like it!" I made Unity a sun bottle and had Twilight heat it for me again. I fed Unity the bottle. Only the milk this time. The bottle was left hanging in midair again. I grabbed it, and it liquified in my hands. Scootaloo didn't freak out again, so I assume she didn't just see the bottle liquify.

"Oh, let me clean that..." Twilight offered. She had finished her salad, and seconds.

"No no, I got it." I argued.

"No, you fed Unity, I'll clean the spill." Twilight shot back.

"No, you take care of him all the time while I'm gone, I got it."

"It doesn't matter, it's my house, and I'll clean it if I want to."

"Well he's my son and it's my responsibility to clean up his messes."

"You're both wrong." RD interrupted. "I already got it." I looked down, and sure enough, the spill was gone.

"How did you..." I started.

"Fastest pegasus in Equestria."

"Ah, of course. Well, you go actually get in bed Twi, let's get to that play-date Scootaloo!" Twilight's ears drooped, but she turned and headed off to her bed without complaint.

"Ooooh! Do I get to play foal with Unity?!" Scootaloo asked excitedly. I blinked a few times.

"What?"

"Foal, you know, the game where I take care of him like he was my foal?"

"Oh, I'm familiar with that game. It's called 'baby' in my world. I didn't think you'd be the kinda filly to play a game like that..."

"Oh... is that bad?"

"It's terrible. What are you, a baby? No, it's not bad, you just suprised me..."

"Hey! Be nice Steven!" Scootaloo scolded. I guess RD did a pretty good job of explaining it to her.

"Oh for the love of... Don't speak to him directly!"

"Oh... sorry. Well, can I play with Unity now?"

"Sure! Just uhh... be careful..."

"Well I know that! He is just a baby! I wouldn't wanna hurt him..."

"Not him I'm worried about..."

"What?"

"Nothing. Let's go into the main room and you two can play there. Oof!" A coin pouch appeared out of nowhere and landed on my head. "Hey, my pay!"

"Pay? You haven't gone on any missions lately!" RD said confusedly.

"That's what you think. Killed a golem this morning. Let's see here... 2000 bits. Hey, that's not too bad! I was worried it would be crazy high again..."

"Wait, that's not a sentence you just throw out like that! 'Killed a golem this morning'. You act like it's no big deal! You could've died!"

"Not really. Beat it in under three minutes. Ok, here he is Scootaloo. You two play nice now..." We had walked into the main room as I talked. I set Unity on the ground and let Scootaloo play with him. She started tickling him and cradling him in her hooves. "Dear Celestia that's adorable."

"Yeah... You know, bein' a mom is way more awsome than I thought it would be..."

"Really? How so?"

"Well, thought it would be a ton of work, which it is, but it's also way more... happy."

"Happy?"

"I'm just happy. All the time now. When I'm with her... it's like I've done something very important. Something good. It makes me happy ya know?"

"I know what you mean." Scootaloo started giving Unity raspberries. "Oh dear god... my heart..."

"Sharky! Are you ok?!"

"Yeah, that's just the sweetest cutest thing I've ever seen in my entire life..." Unity was giggling like his life depended on it and wiggling his 'hooves' around wildly. Scootaloo was smiling and laughing along with him. "Anyway, I know what you mean. Unity... Whenever I'm taking care of him, I feel like I did something very right."

"Yeah... Sharky... I want to tell you something..."

"Shoot."

"That girl..."

"Who?"

"The one from your other world." I flinched.

"Uhh... yeah... what about her?"

"She has got to be the dumbest, most unlucky girl ever."

"How do you figure?"

"She let you go. I don't think she knew what she was missing."

"He still won't get that you like him. Calling it now. That's... very nice of you to say RD... Oh my god... He thinks your trying to talk to him like a beer drinking buddy after a break-up! Rich! but you're wrong... That girl... to quote a favorite song of mine... you don't know like I do, you'll never understand. You don't know what we've been through, yeah that girl's my best friend." RD flinched and gave me a look of shock. Scootaloo either couldn't hear us or wasn't listening. She was totally absorbed into playing with Unity.

"How can you talk about her like that?! She wasn't even loyal!"

"Funny that you would say that... It doesn't matter. I know what she did was wrong, and I know I shouldn't care... but I just can't bring myself to dislike her. Because he's too much of a wussy."

"You still... love her?"

"Oh god no. No way, she royally screwed that up. I just... I can't say that I'm mad or that I hate her... NO Scootaloo! Don't take off his hat!" I yelled suddenly as Scootaloo started tugging on Unity's stocking cap with her mouth. Scootaloo released his hat as soon as I yelled.

"Why? Is something wrong?" She asked worriedly.

"Uhh... no... I just want him to keep that hat on..."

"Okayyyy... why?"

"Because I am weird! Just leave it on ok?"

"... Sure..." After that, I didn't have any problems with Scootaloo and Unity. RD and I talked a little more, but soon Scootaloo and her left for some flight training. After they left, I went to go wake Twilight up, but she was waiting by her bedroom door for me.

"Are you free to read now?" She asked excitedly.

"... Yes... have you been waiting here for me?"

"Noooo..."

"Yes she has." Spike said from his bed. He must've been relaxing there almost this whole time. Twilight shot him a glare.

"Oh... Twi... I wanted you to get that rest... Well, I suppose it can't be helped now... Well, let's get to reading then shall we?" She nodded and we both picked a random book off the shelves in her room.

"Memoirs of Starswirl the Bearded, a look into the makings of modern magic. What book did you get?"

"Twilight's Diary. Do not read, this means you." Twilight magically pulled the book out of my hands.

"Spike! You put my diary on the library shelves?!"

"Sorry! It looks like all the other books!"

"It's ok, I'll just grab another. Let's see... Ah! Daring Do. I wanted to read these..." I pulled the first book off the shelves and sat down in a corner to read. Twilight trotted over and crawled in my lap. I ran my hand through her mane absent mindedly as I read. In about 8 hours, I had finished the first 2 books and was almost done with the third. I had stopped to feed Unity and put him in bed, but the books were so engrossing that I didn't bother to stop for much else. Late that night, my body finally decided to shut me down.

"How did you enjoy your books Sharky?" Twilight asked as the third book fell out of my hands and onto the floor.

"Zzzzzz..."

"Awww... He fell asleep... How cute." Twilight levitated me over to the bed and laid me down. With that, she crawled into the bed with me and pressed herself against my sleeping body. "Well, so much for your dinner with Rarity..."

Town

Friday, January 25th

*HAAAALLELUJAH*

"GAH!" I sprang up in the bed, knocking Twilight clear off the bed. She hit the ground rolling, which caused her to keep going and fall off the little ledge.

"Whoa!" *BAM* "Ow!"

"Oh, sorry Twilight! How'd I end up in this bed?"

*HAAAALLELUJAH*

"Oh, phone!" I grabbed my phone and hit the answer button. Luna's face filled the screen. I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes as she greeted me.

"Greetings Sharky! We... I trust thou hath slept well?"

"I was... Why you calling so early Luna?"

"We... I apologize, but there is an emergency."

"This early in the morning?" I looked out of the window. The sun hadn't even come up yet.

"Yes. There has been a dragon attack on a town know as Stalliongrad, in the far northern reaches of Equestria."

"... Stalliongrad... Is that a big city?"

"No, 'tis a relatively new town. Younger than even Ponyville."

"Huh... Not exactly the same then... Well... wait, you said dragon..."

"Yes, this is what we... I said..."

"You want me... to fight a... dragon..."

"If necessary. We... I would much prefer you negotiate a peaceful resolution."

"... You want me to negotiate... with a dragon..."

"Luna! That's insane! There's no way you can make Sharky do that!" Twilight had climbed back up onto the bed ledge.

"Hey, my job. I'll do it Luna. Sounds like it could be fun. Well, not fun persay... Just an event. I'll do it."

"Hey! You can't possibly fight a dragon!" Twilight argued.

"I'll sure as hell try! Now, let me say goodbye to Unity and grab my sword. Then I'll call you back for teleportation Luna."

"Yes... About that... Stalliongrad is outside the reach of typical transportation... thou shall have to ride a train for a full day before thou reaches Stalliongrad..."

"Whoa... so that means a two day trip without fighting time?"

"Unfortunately..."

"No! You can't just leave for us for two whole days!" Twilight wailed.

"Well, if it's for the good of Equestria, I'm in. I'll call you back in a minute Luna." I hung up without another word. I leapt off the bed and walked over to a gasping Twilight by the edge of the ledge. I knelt down and pulled her into a hug. "Looks like I'm gonna be gone for a while. Think you can handle Unity while I'm gone?"

"N-no... Don't leave me..."

"Sorry, you know I have to. Thanks for being a fantastic friend Twilight."

"W-why are you talking like you're leaving forever?!"

"Well, call me crazy, but even I don't think I can handle a full-grown dragon all alone. I'll sure try though!"

"S-so you're going to just go anyway?! T-that's c-crazy!"

"Like a fox. Wait, don't let him go! I don't wanna die!" I stood up and leapt off the small ledge.

"N-no! You j-just came back to life! I don't want you dead!"

"Then I'll try not to die." I went to Unity and bent over to kiss his forehead. He smiled and one of his ears flicked. I turned to walk towards the stairs.

"T-try?! Don't you trot away from me mister!"

"Who are you, my wife? I'm going to get my sword, then I'm leaving." Twilight froze at my word choice. By the time she was able to think again, I was already downstairs. She ran after me. I grabbed the Buster Sword from it's corner with my right hand and pulled out my phone with my left. Right then, a rush of energy slammed me into the wall, holding me there so that my chest and face were smooshed up against it. I acidentally released my phone in shock, and it ended up being pressed against the wall with me. Twilight's aura was surrounding me.

"No! I won't let you leave just to die again!"

"Phone, add Twilight Sparkle to my call list." A blue light shot from my phone from it's position against the wall. The light enveloped Twilight and she jumped back in shock, releasing me from her magic hold. The light disappeared suddenly and I caught my phone as my phone and I both fell from the wall. I quickly hit Luna's call button after my phone registered Twilight as a contact. "Hi Luna, no talk time crazed Twilight Sparkle, teleport please?" Luna's eyes widened.

"Immediately!" In a flash of black light, I was gone.

"Dang it! I let him get away again!!!" Twilight wailed.

I flashed into Luna's bedroom. The moon. Luna was sitting on her bed and I was standing next to the exit doors.

"So wait... You can teleport me directly from the planet to the moon, but you can't teleport me to northern Equestria?"

"Tis not as simple as thou thinks. We... I can teleport you to the moon because it is our element. The rest of the world is an entirely different matter."

"Well, why'd you bring me here? I thought I was on my way to Stalliongrad."

"Thou will be, we... I first must give thee travel fare..." She levitated me a small coin pouch. "This will cover the price for both train tickets. Now, when we... I send thou back, thou will arrive at a train station in the town closest to Stalliongrad as I can manage. Simply purchase a ticket to Stalliongrad, then ride there to deal with the dragon."

"Wow Luna, I really have to applaud your effort with the speaking." Luna blushed at my sudden compliment.

"Oh, doth thou truly think so? We... I have been trying tirelessly to master this speech... 'tis difficult to say the least."

"Well, it's really showing. You're doing much better just correcting yourself. Keep practicing and you'll be speaking like everypony else in no time at all!"

"I thank thou... Thine praise is most helpful in keeping our spirits high in this endeavor."

"Well, I'm glad to help. Anyway, I should get going now. I don't want to spend any more time away from Ponyville then I have to." Luna shook her head as if clearing her head.

"Right, I shall teleport thee immediately. Be safe, and good luck to thou."

"You got it boss!" In another flash, I was gone.

"... Oh no... I neglected to tell him the town because of his compliment! I do hope he doesn't find out on his own..."

I was standing on a wooden platform. There was a small ticket booth on the right, and benches aplenty lining up beside it in two neat little rows. The benches were nearly full of all kinds of ponies, mostly earth pony mares. They were all sleeping soundly, and the sun had not risen. The horizon was not even starting to brighten, so I could only assume that it was still very early. There was a light coming from the ticket booth however, so I walked over. There was a small glass window seperating me from the mare in the booth. She was a gray unicorn with a long black mane. I had to look down through the window to see her, because she had laid down and fallen asleep. Her head was propped up on her forelegs and she snored loudly. I gave the window a gentle knock. She jumped into position at the window. Her eyes were still closed, and she started to speak sleepily.

"Yes... This is the ticket sales... how may I zzzzzzzz... Huh? Help you?"

"Uh yes, I need one ticket to Stalliongrad please." The mare snorted.

"Nopony goes to Stalliongrad... There's a dragon..." She opened her eyes lazily, then they widened greatly and her sleepiness seemed to disappear instantly. "Oh my Celestia... It's you!" She shouted excitedly. A few of the mares nearby began to stir.

"Oh, no no no, stay calm! I'm not a big deal--"

"Are you kidding!? You gotta be the biggest thing in Equestria right now! You're the somepony everypony wants to know!" More of the sleeping ponies were beginning to wake. The mare's speaking volume was increasing and she seemed to be bouncing on her hooves.

"Shhhh! Look, I don't want to draw attention! I just need a ticket to Stalliongrad so I can get the dragon!"

"Ooooh! You're going to fight the dragon?! How heroic! Your marefriend must be so proud!" Now almost all of the ponies were waking up, and some of them were looking around sleepily. A few of their gazes locked onto me.

"You mean Rarity? Look, she isn't really my marefriend. Please, just give me the ticket!"

"Oh, of course! 50 bits please!" I reached into the small pouch Luna had given me and pulled out 5 silver bits. The mare levitated them out of my hand then levitated me a ticket. "Oh, not really your marefriend, huh? So, you're available?"

"Not to you! Well yeah, I guess you could say that. I'm human though, so it's not like anypony would really be interested in me though." The mare didn't seem to hear Steven. Either that, or she flat-out ignored him.

"Well, maybe I could prove you wr--"

"Hey! Is that the hero?!"

"You know, I'm beginning to wonder how everypony knows me, but only by 'hero', not my name..." I muttered to myself. I turned to the waking crowd. "I'm not a hero! Just somepony that does what anypony else would if they were me! Please, don't freak out!"

"Aww, so humble. It's very becoming of you hero..." The ticket counter mare said like she was sighing. Which was weird.

"He's so down-to-Equestria!" Another pony shouted.

"Oh son of a... You done it now dude."

"Holy Celestia! What's that thing?!" A stallion shouted. A bunch of surrounding ponies turned to him.

"That's the hero!"

"He's a Lunar Knight!"

"He beat an Ursa Minor all by himself!"

"I heard he can't die!"

"He spends his free time saving fillies' lives!"

"I heard he can outfly the Wonderbolts easy!"

"I heard that he's an angel!"

"Oh no... Things are getting out of hand... I'm not all that fantastic guys! I'm not an angel! Celestia, who even started that rumor?" I mumbled to myself. The crowd was starting to get up and slowly approach me.

"I want to meet him!"

"I want his autograph!"

"I wanna ask him a few questions about being a hero!"

"I want him!" Wait, what?

"I want to go a day without a mob... I want to live! Run you fool!" The ponies quickly surrounded me, leaving my back up against the ticket booth. "Uhh... you're all a little close don't you think?"

"I want clothes like that! Doesn't your marefriend make them for you?"

"Yeah! Tell us about your marefriend." For some reason, I found myself realizing just how many mares I was surrounded by. There were stallions too, but they seemed to be at the far edges of the small crowd, being more quiet than the mares.

"Uhh... Rarity? She really isn't my don't say it! marefriend. We're just good friends. The press messed that up... Oh god we're gonna die..." The mares seemed to tighten the circle around me.

"Really? No marefriend?"

"What a shame..."

"That means you're free right?"

"Somepony like you shouldn't have to be alone..."

"Uhhh... girls..." I had about one foot of clear space in any given direction. Even the ticket booth pony had come out of her booth and was slowly closing the gap on my right side. "What's going on?" Somehow my Buster Sword disappeared from my side. "Uhh... I need that!"

"Not right now you don't!"

"... Ok, I'm seriously freaking out now..."

"Oooh, is the big hero suddenly afraid of a few mares?"

"A few? No. A crowd showing surrounding behavior... I'm getting there..." The mares were so close I could feel the warmth from their bodies.

"Oh, lighten up... From what I hear, you work to hard anyway..."

"Yeah, you need to... relax..."

"Come on, maybe we can help..."

"Yeah, come on... if you like that..."

"Dear god we are going to die!... Yet I still find myself enjoying this. Uhh... Oh look at the time. I think I have to go..." I tried taking a step to my right, but I was halted by the mares. They refused to move.

"Where you goin' in such a hurry?"

"Yeah, you just got here..."

"Stay a while, here, with us..."

"Uhh... I feel very endangered right now... Somepony please tell me this is some kind of practical joke..."

"Oh, it's no joke hon. You belong to us for now..." Then I noticed a sign for the name of the platform. It had the name of the city I was in as well.

"This town is named Rutville? What on Equestria kinda name is that? Wait a minute... doesn't rut mean... Oh no... oh no...

"Oh yes..." One of the mares said darkly. Then they jumped at me.

Train

Suddenly I was buried in a pile of mares. I could feel their hooves all over my upper body, but luckily my entire lower body was protected by armor. I was more worried about them ripping my shirt or cutting themselves on my blades than anything else. I had been knocked to the ground, not by the mares tackling me, but a unicorn had knocked me to the ground with magic. I couldn't see anything other than brightly colored sides, flanks, and the occasional face of the writhing mares. Oh, and plot. Lots of plot. I flipped my hands over so that my blades were pinned against the ground and tried to think of a way out of this without hurting anypony.

I am not calling Luna for this. Celestia that would be akward... Ok, it seems they can't seem to figure out pants, so I'll be ok for a while. They took my sword, so I can't just shove them all away with the flat of the blade... I can't use thundraga to scare them off, there's a roof over us... Right then, I could feel magic start tugging on my armor. I pressed my lower body against the ground as hard as I could. Crap! Think time over! Uhh... I... guess I have no choice...

"Oooh! I almost got him..." One of the mares on me said excitedly. I brought up my hands as fast as I could, throwing two mares off to the side. I heard the smack against the wooden patform and I flinched, but the rest of the mares remained focused. I sat up as fast as I could, rolling a few mares to the side. I pulled off my right glove, then used my right arm to smack most of them away from me. They all flew off me in the direction of the blow, almost colliding with the benches. The magic cut off instantly. The unicorn had been one of the ones I had hit. I was still surrounded by mares, but none of them moved towards me.

"H-ok. Let's stop that right now. Oh good! Look, I appreciate the interest, but NOOOO. You disgusting mares will never be good enough for me. You all seem nice, but' I'm not like that. Please don't do that." One of the mares nearest to me managed to speak up.

"W-what? You mean you didn't come here for--"

"Rutting? No. I'm here to get to Stalliongrad and fight a dragon." I said simply. The mares all seemed a little upset. Another mare on my left spoke up.

"Oh... Sorry... we just thought..."

"Oh, I get it. Single guy, moderately well known, shows up in a town apparently meant for... yeah... Like I said, I get it. I'd prefer to not discuss this again. This has been an... eye opening experience however..."

Apparently, mares can like humans! Well... maybe just these fanmares though. I'm sure it's not all mares... I thought ruefully as I thought about my friends. Yeah... just friends...

*CHOOOO CHOOOO* A train whistle interrupted my thought process.

"Oh, look. A train. I problably have to go. Please give me my sword so I can leave." A few of the ashamed looking mares on my left stepped gingerly apart, revealing my Buster Sword behind them. I stood up and walked over to it. I slipped on my right glove and I lifted the sword up in my right hand. Then I slung it over my shoulder Cloud-style.

"W-we're r-really sorry hero..." The ticket mare spoke up directly from my right side. I turned to look at her.

"No, it's ok, I understand."

"Oh, thank you for being so gracious hero..."

"Don't mention it."

"No, I really mea--"

"Seriously. Never speak of this. Any of you." I gestured around the crowd. "This never leaves us. I won't say anything, you won't say anything, got it?"

"... What if we do?" Another random mare asked.

"I'll sick Steven on you. I'll rip out your damn spine and use it to rape you before I pull out your skull and beat you to death with it." All of the nearby ponies gasped in fear. The brakes of a train squealed as it pulled into the station. "In case you couldn't tell, that mean voice that I assume just spoke was Steven. He's not the same as me."

"Train to Stalliongrad! All aboard! Oh, no passengers again cause there's a dragon and we continue to waste time with these trips? Good, bye." A green stallion unicorn in a blue uniform stepped out of the lead train car and very sacrcastically announced the train's purpose. He finished and turned to trot back into the train when I shouted after him.

"Wait! I need to board that train!" He turned back around.

"What kinda crazy idiot goes to a town under dragon att-- oh hey! It's you!"

"Yes yes, it's me. Whatever. Here, here's my ticket." I handed him the small slip of paper I had recieved from the ticket mare.

"Oh! Of course." He levitated the ticket out of my hand. "Please, follow me!" He stepped onto the train and I turned around to adress the crowd again.

"Thank you all for your... eager... hospitality. It was a pleasure to meet you." With that I turned back to the train and stepped on board. The stallion led me through a few cars of the train before he stopped at a car consisiting of beds lining the left and right sides of the car. All the beds were bunk beds and were made with plain white blankets and sheets.

"Here hero! You can stay here until we stop at Stalliongrad! Lucky for you that you caught this train! This is our last trip to Stalliongrad!" The train's whistle blew and I could feel it set into motion.

"What do you mean last trip? I've got to go back home!"

"Whoa whoa, easy friend! I mean our last trip until the dragon is gone! After you beat it, I'm sure our train'll be up and running again!"

"Well where will it be until then?"

"Well, after we get to Stalliongrad, we'll go back to the very beginning of our normal route, so just one town behind this one. If you get the dragon, we should be running that same day. Assuming the news reaches us."

"So that means, even if everything goes smoothly, it'll be at least three days until I get back home? That's assuming I beat the dragon almost instantly, and that's assuming I can beat it at all."

"What? You doubt yourself? You're supposed to be the great hero! I'm sure you can do it!" I snorted.

"Yeah, thanks. Well... If you don't mind, I'm gonna catch some z's." I gestured towards one of the beds.

"Oh, of course! Can I get you anything else before I go?" I put my sword down and crawled into the nearest bed, I had to curl my legs into my chest to fit.

"Well, a bigger bed would be fantastic... but no, other than that, I'm fine." The stallion started looking nervously from side to side. Then he let out a sigh.

"Well... I'm not supposed to do this... but you are our only passenger... and you're the hero so... Follow me." He turned and waved for me to follow him. I un-wedged myself from the bed and stood up to follow him. I grabbed my sword and started after him. He led me through a few more cars, until we reached an extravagant looking car with decadent decorations, a large, plush bed, and a window with violet curtains drawn over it. The walls and floor all appeared to be furnished with the same carpet, so the car was fuzzy and soft all along it. The bed had fluffy red blankets and more pillows than I would think anypony could ever need.

"Wow! This looks... soft."

"I'd hope so. This is one of our first-class cars. I'm normally not allowed to let a passenger use these unless they pay for them. Seeing as how your our only passenger, and it's... well, you, I don't think anypony will mind."

"Oh... are you sure?"

"Of course! Please, I insist you make use of this room."

"Well... Ok. Thank you very much sir!"

"Not a problem! Now, if you'll excuse me..." He turned and walked back out of the car. I propped my sword up in a corner and took off my gloves. I set my gloves down on the floor next to the sword and walked over to the bed. I gently climbed into it and laid down on top of the blankets.

It was awful nice of him to let me use this room, I'll try not to mess up the bed too much so he doesn't have to deal with it... Man, three whole days away from everypony... at least... Assuming I live in the first place... At this I took the time to actually consider what I was doing. Basically this is a suicide mission. I really don't think have any chance against a gigantic, flying, fire-breathing lizard. I may be strong now... but not that strong. Well, maybe I can pull it off. I doubt Luna would send me on a mission if she thought I had zero chance to succed. I nodded my head assuredly. I would survive, Luna knew my limits... maybe. I shrugged and closed my eyes to sleep.

I woke up to the sunshining on my face. The stallion was in my room, and he had drawn back the curtains to reveal that the sun was now relatively high in the sky, but still visible through the window. If I had to guess, I'd say it was either almost afternoon, or just after. Depending on whether the window faced east or west. Assuming we were headed north, which we should have been, and since the window was on the right side of the train car, it had to be almost afternoon.

"Good morning hero! Well, more like afternoon, but that's beside the point. Here, I took the liberty of bringing you some breakfast!" He levitated me a tray with some toast, scrambled eggs, and a half grapefruit. There was a glass of orange juice as well, and a fork and spoon. I grabbed it from his aura.

"Wow! Thanks! That's awfully nice of you!"

"Nonsense, it's my job!"

"Well, thank you! Thanks for waking me up ya bastard. Now I gotta beat you to death." The stallion's eyes widened and he started cowering slightly. I groaned. "Did I just say something mean?" The stallion nodded fearfully. "Look, if my voice changes and I say something mean, it's not really me. I've got two personalities. The one that says mean things isn't the real me."

"O-ok? I g-guess that m-makes sense..."

"Yeah, sorry about that..."

"Right, no problem." The stallion regained his composure. "Can I get anything else for you sir?"

"No, I'm fine. Thank you."

"Very well. I'll be back to check on you later."

"Ok, bye!" The stallion walked out of the car and I dug into my breakfast. Within a few minutes, I had finished all the food and drained the glass of orange juice. "Wow, I was hungry. No shit Sherlock." I sat back and contemplated what to do next. I was basically on a train for the next 24 hours with nothing to do. Not even really anypony to talk to. "Oh, I'll call Daring! I haven't talked to her in a while..." I pulled out my phone and hit Daring Do's call button. An image faded into view. All I could see was water and steam. "Hello? Daring are you there?"

"Waagh! Who's here?"

"It's me, Sharky!"

"Oh, Sharky! Hi!" The steam seperated for a moment and I could see that I had called Daring while she was in the shower. A deep blush spread across my face.

"O-oh... Y-you're taking a s-shower... My bad, I'll call back later..."

"No no, it's fine. What's up?"

"Fine?! You're taking a shower!"

"Yes, and?"

"N-naked..."

"You mean like I am all the time? Oh yeah, how horrible." She was heavy on the sarcasm. The blush faded from my face.

"Oh... Oh yea... Forgot that didn't really matter to you ponies..."

"Why? Does it matter to your kind?"

"Yes. A lot. This would be considered very bad if you were a human."

"Why is that?"

"Well... humans are more guarding of their... physical properties..."

"Why? Everypony has the same anatomy..."

"Don't ask me to explain it, it's a cultural thing I suppose."

"Oh, I see. Well, why did you call?"

"I'm on a train to Stalliongrad to fight a dragon, but the trip is going to take a whole day. I've literally got nothing to do."

"Oh, so you only called me out of sheer boredom?"

"Well... I would call more often, but I'm always so busy."

"Eh, I understand, I'm busy all the time too. As a matter of fact, you caught me during my only down time."

"Well... lucky me."

"So, I've heard you're the hero of Equestria now, what's that like?" I groaned.

"It sucks like you wouldn't believe. I can barely go anywhere without being mobbed."

"Aww... I'm sorry. I thought it woulda been more fun."

Not really... Well, I'd love to talk more Daring, but to be honest talking to you in your shower is very weird for me..." She laughed.

"That's ridiculous. Oh well, to each his own I suppose. Call me again sometime soon Sharky!"

"Will do Daring. Bye!" I hung up and the steam filled screen faded to my contact list. "Huh... I suppose I could call Twilight..." I hit the call button for Twilight and she popped up on my screen. She was sitting on her haunches in the kitchen, cradling Unity in her forehooves and magically holding a bottle up to him. "D'awww!" Twilight jumped and almost dropped Unity.

"Whoa! Who's there? Spike?" Twilight looked around wildly until her gaze settled upon a floating magic image of me. "Sharky? You don't have a horn right now! How are you--"

"Magic phone. I added you to the call list before I left."

"Oh yes, the blue light you used to distract me and make your escape."

"Yeah... Sorry about that. You wouldn't have let me go unless I tricked you."

"With good reason! This is a suicide mission Sharky! Why would you take it?!" Unity continued drinking the bottle. This time, instead of drinking the milk or the bottle down, he seemed to be sucking the empty space out of the bottle. With every drink he took, the milk had expanded until the bottle shattered all over Twilight and himself. "Ugh! Unity!"

"Hey, don't yell at him! It's not like he means to do it!"

"Oh... I'm sorry, I'm just mad at you, and I guess I acidentally took it out on him... It won't happen again."

"I don't care if you're mad at me! You don't yell at my son!"

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to!"

"Where's Fluttershy? I think Unity need some kindness. Obviously it's not gonna come from you!"

"Hey! Calm down! I only yelled once! It was just an accidental outburst of excess anger you always seem to give me!"

"You know what? I'm forgetting why I thought calling you was a good idea! I want Fluttershy to take care of Unity until I get back. Oh, by the way, it'll take at least three days for me to get back. Goodbye. Well, this is funny."

"Wait! Sharky! I'm sorry!" I paused.

"Me too. I'm just stressed too. You don't have to give Unity to Fluttershy, but I would like it if she was there to help."

"Ok... you're right... I'm sorry I was so upset... I'm just so worried for you..." Twilight mumbled. I thought for a moment.

"Me too." With that, I hung up and started thinking about the dragon.

Boredom

"Well... This is still waaaaaay boring." I sighed to myself as I laid back on the bed. I had sat on the bed, just staring at the ceiling for about an hour. "Ugh... what to do, what to do..." In sheer boredom, I rolled off the bed and fell onto the floor in a push-up position. I started doing push-ups and decided to just keep going until I collapsed. As my arms pumped away, I let my mind wander.

Well... No matter what, I can't seem to get my mind off of those mares... The way those mares had so obviously been interested in me was haunting me. Why does it still bug me...? I can't figure it out... I wonder if it's only those fanmares... Now that I think about it, didn't another mare ask if I was free back in Canterlot? So, it might not be only those more... available mares in Rutville. Maybe... maybe all mares can like me! I thought back to the mane six. Well... Almost all mares... Damn, I think I got myself stuck in a friend zone with them... They'd never think of me as more than that. I sighed to myself and focused back in on my work out. Obviously the miasma had effected me much more than I thought. I had been going for almost a solid minute, but I was only barely sweating. I started pushing myself off the ground slightly with every push-up and clapped before I went back down.

"Damn man. You did not just think they friend-zoned you."

I really shoudn't have yelled at Twilight. She really didn't mean anything... I need to make it up to her somehow... What would Twilight want? I racked my brain, thinking about everything I knew about Twilight from the show and from knowing her. I couldn't think of anything she would want. Wait, she said she really wanted me to meet Shining Armor... Maybe I can call her when she's visiting him and talk to him... Yeah, that'll make her happy. Oh, there go the arms. I fell forward on my face as my arms hit the ground.

"Oof." I had been so enveloped in my thoughts that I hadn't realized how tired my arms were. I had been thinking for about 10 minutes about what to get for Twilight. Now I was really sweating and my arms ached. I rolled onto my back and got into a sit-up position. I started doing sit-ups.

Yeah, talking with Shining Armor. If he's Twilight's brother, he's gotta be nice. I'm sure we'll be great friends. I've still gotta take Rarity out to dinner too... Huh, and I haven't spent almost any time at all with Stormy recently... I should hang out with Shadow sometime soon too. He lost Blade and seems to look up to me now... Celestia help him. Not only that, but I can't remember a single time I've been here that I've gotten to talk to AJ one-on-one. Man, I've got so much to catch up on! My abs were starting to burn from the sit-ups. Also I should eat better. I can't remember a day when I had all the meals I'm supposed to. I'm gonna end up damaging myself if I keep skipping meals. I let my thoughts drift away as I kept going with the sit-ups. I let the motion take over my thoughts, as if the only thing that mattered was the repeated motion. A few minutes later, my abs failed to allow me to sit up again. I let myself fall back into the carpet and lay there gasping for air. I was drenched in sweat and my arms and stomach were pained and heated from the workout.

"I should really work my legs while I'm at it... but where can I run in this little car?" I thought for a moment before I got an idea. I grinned broadly. "I've always wanted to do this... Oh no... you can't be serious..." I forced myself back on my feet. I walked over to the window and checked to see if it opened. All I had to do was turn a little lock, and the window pushed open. The wind from the motion of the train blew it further open and slammed it against the side of the train. I poked my upper body out of the window and looked towards the roof of the car. Right next to the roof was a rail that ran all the way down the length of the train. I grinned and reached up to grab it, the wind whipping my side as I pulled myself out of the window. I pulled myself up using the rail and managed to pull myself on to the roof of the car. I rolled onto the roof and lay there for a moment to rest my aching arms. The wind rushed past me with astounding speed, doing wonders to cool my aching muscles.

Dear Celestia I'm insane... I managed to stand up on the roof of the train, the wind forced me back a few steps before I gained my balance. I turned to the back of the train, and ran with the wind all the way to the caboose, jumping as I passed the gaps inbetween cars. I reached the caboose and stopped quickly. I realized I had to pee, so I lowered my armor a little and let loose. I looked at the surroundings as I relieved myself. The landscape around me was frozen and desolate. There was snow everywhere, but no trees or animals in sight. I gave a mental thanks to Rarity for the warm gloves and shirt. I pulled up my pants, then turned back against the wind, towards the front of the train. I crouched down in a runner's starting position, then took off into the wind.

"Glad to see I can rely on you to not do anything stupid..."

"Hello Fluttershy." Twilight had trotted all the way to Fluttershy's house to get her like Sharky requested. She was carrying Unity with her.

"Oh, hello Twilight, please, come in..." Fluttershy stepped gingerly out of the way for Twilight to enter her house. Twilight trotted in, magically setting Unity down in a chair near the door.

"Thanks Fluttershy... Sharky asked that I get your help for taking care of Unity."

"He did? Oh good... I was worried he didn't want to have anything to do with me any more..." Twilight gave her a confused look.

"Why would he want that?"

"Well... After I... kissed him..." Twilight flinched. "He started trying to avoid me it seems like... He refuses to talk about it too... I thought he was mad at me..." Twilight let out a deep sigh.

"Why is he so difficult? He should know we like him by now!"

"I don't know Twilight... I would've thought he'd know... since I... kissed him..."

"I would have assumed that to be a dead give away as well..."

"Where is he anyway?"

"Ugh... he left to go fight a dragon in Stalliongrad..."

"W-what?! That's crazy! He can't do that!" Twilight nodded sadly.

"I know... He said he knew too... He thinks he's going to die..."

"N-no! He can't die! He just came back!"

"Don't worry. If I know anything about Sharky, he'll find a way to handle it..."

"... Y-you're right... I'm sure he's being smart about this..."

"Whooooooooo! This is bucking awesome! It's official, I'm stuck with a crazy idiot." I was running full-tilt against the wind towards the front of the train. I leapt over the gaps between cars as they came, which was very difficult because the wind tried to shove me backward each time I left the roof of the cars. I continued my sprint all the way up to the engine of the train. The smoke billowed from the smoke stack and enveloped me as I reached it. I coughed a few times and started running back through the wind and cold. I made my way back to my car and lowered myself down on the railing. I worked my way back into the car through the window, pulling it shut behind me. I went over to the bed and collapsed on it in pure exhaustion. Right then, a knock came from the door. "Come in!" The green stallion came in with another tray.

"Good afternoon sir, here is lunch... why do you look so exhausted?"

"Oh, I was just running on the roof of the train."

"... You were... running... on the roof of the train?"

"Yes."

"... Why?"

"Because I was bored off my ass. Just training. On a train."

"Ah... I suppose I understand... Well, here. A nice daisy sandwich with some hay tea." I flinched.

"Uhh... I'm very sorry, but that stuff is inedible for humans..."

"Oh! My humblest apologies sir! What would you prefer?"

"A nice pony steak... Just a salad will be fine."

"Dear Celestia... that other voice of yours is quite unnerving..."

"Oh man... I'm sorry if he's bugging you. Just try to ignore him."

"Right... simple salad sir?"

"Yes, thank you. I'm very sorry..."

"It's no trouble sir, I shall be back momentarily." He turned and left the car. I let my head roll back on to a pillow.

"Phew... That was a good workout..." I focused in on slowing my breathing. I laid there for a few more minutes, slowly recovering from my workout. Then I decided I needed to start strategizing for the dragon. "Ok, I know I won't hear you respond, but no talking to the dragon Steven. The last thing I need is for you to piss it off before I can try talking him out of attacking the town. Hey, I'm not an idiot! I wanna live to ya know!" I continued my thoughts, only hoping Steven had agreed.

Ok... First I'll try flattery. Rarity almost got it to work, as long as I don't offer to take his gems... After that, I doubt I'll get another chance. I'll have to fight it. I guess I could try to sneak up to it and kill it... but that doesn't seem very honorable... No, I'll challenge it outright. I'd rather die brave then live a coward.

"I'd rather live a coward! You idiot, suprise attack! Stab it in the throat while it sleeps!"

Yeah, definitely not sneaking up on it. I've got more honor than that. Plus, wasn't part of my oath to conduct myself with honor? I don't think I physically can sneak up on it. I wonder if they know who I am in Stalliongrad. I hope they do. I don't want to scare the crap out of everypony I'm trying to help. I also hope they aren't fans though... Knowing me is good, but this weird mob thing needs to stop. There was another knock at the door.

"Come in!" The green unicorn trotted back in holding a new bowl and a glass. He levitated them over to me.

"Here you go sir, a simple salad with a glass of water." It was a bowl of lettuce, tomato, onion, topped with some mozzerella cheese and lightly sprinkled with pepper. The water was well... water.

"Oh! Thank you very much!" He bowed respectfully.

"It's my pleasure sir. Do you need anything else?"

"No, this is perfect. Thank you."

"Very well. I will see you later sir!"

"Ok, bye!" He turned and trotted out of the car. I dug into the salad hungrily, finishing it in just over a minute. "Well... now I've got nothing to do again... I think I've thought about just about everything I need to... Hey Steve, can you sing? ... Yes? I'm going to assume you said yes. Ok, I'll sing a line of a song, then you sing the next.

Where is the moment we needed the mooost?

You kick up the leaves and the magic is looost!

You tell me you blue skies fade to graaaay!

You tell me your passion's gone awaaaaay!

An' I don't need no carryin' oooooooon!"

After singing half a song for about an hour to myself, I got bored again.

"For the love of Celestia... What the buck can I do now? You know what? I'm just going to sleep until we get to Stalliongrad. Finally. I was worried you were going to make me sing 'who let the dogs out' by the Baha Men next." I turned in my bed and closed my eyes, desperate for sleep to overtake me and dispel my boredom. Within a few minutes, my wish was granted and I fell into an uneasy sleep.

Dragon

I was walking steadily towards the mountain range. I would have run, but I didn't want to exhaust myself further before fighting the dragon.

"Still, something isn't right... Why would a dragon only attack black smiths? What's stranger, it only burnt down the buildings then flew off... It might have made more sense if it flew down and stole some gems or metal..." The entire walk, I had been debating why the dragon attacks seemed strange. "Maybe it's a dragon black smith. I've read about those in books back on Earth, supposed to be legendary. Maybe it's upset by the ponies poor quality comparison work? Maybe, it's threatened by their finesse with the craft. Yeah, maybe it's eliminating competition. That would explain why it only attacked one building at a time... but then why wouldn't it just fry the town? Maybe it's a nice dragon... but if it were nice, it wouldn't attack in the first place. Actually, scratch all of that. If it were maddened by competition, it would need to be bringing in buisiness. Something tells me a dragon isn't the first thing ponies would go to for a black smithing job..."

"You're right, they wouldn't." I whipped around, searching for the source of the voice. I scanned the landscape, seeing only a few thin trees, Stalliongrad off in the distance, and the mountains nearby. The voice seemed to come from all directions at once, and had the volume of a person whispering in my ear.

"Who's there?!" I yelled wildly. The voice laughed.

"You've no need to know me hero. Just be warned, do not interfere with our plans..." The voice gradually faded as it spoke. I kept searching wildly.

"Wait! What plans?! There are more of you?!" I recieved no response from the strange voice. "Hey! HEY!" Still no response. I sighed. "Well... that was weird. Maybe I'm finally going insane. Well, coming from the OTHER voice that only exists in your head, I have to disagree. I heard it too." I shrugged and continued to walk towards the mountains.

Well... Might as well think this out rather than talk to myself... I don't want to drive myself insane... Well, according to the voice... that may or may not have been real, the ponies wouldn't go to a dragon. That means it can't be trying to eliminate competition. That almost rules out it being a black smith all together... I sighed again. I had reached the base of the mountains.

"Well... What to do from here..." The mountains were not huge, but there were tons of them in a line as far as the eye could see. I had no idea where to start my search. "Ugh... Well... I think it flew to that mountain..." I chose a mountian slightly off to the right that I thought I might have seen the dragon fly to when I first arrived here. The sun had finally come up, and as I approached the mountain I had chosen, I saw a cave way up, almost at the top of the mountain. I never would have seen it at night, but there were twin trails of light smoke drifting out of the mouth of the cave. "Jackpot." I mumbled to myself. Now there was only the question of how to climb the mountain. It wasn't enormously tall, but it was very narrow, almost like a spike.

Ok... unlike ponies, I don't think I have the ability to walk up impossible angles... Guess that means old-fashioned rock climbing for me... I sighed again. This was turning out to be far more of a hassle than I had imagined. I walked over to a nearby sapling, and used my sword to relieve it of a few long flexible branches. I tied the braches together into a small series of loops. I slipped it onto my shoulders like a backpack, leaving only one loop on my back. I slipped the Buster Sword into the final loop, and the the impromptu sheath held. The Buster Sword was now secured firmly on my back. I turned back to the mountain. I flipped my hands around so that my palms faced me, and stabbed the shark blades into the side of the mountain. I started scaling the side of the mountian using my blades to keep me attached to the wall of ice. I was on my way to face the dragon.

"Ah... ha... ha..." I gasped for breath as I pulled myself up onto the ledge next to the cave. I pulled myself up and rolled onto the ledge. I was laying on my back, breathing heavily, when I heard voices coming from in the cave.

"N-no! You can't make me!" A deep, rumbling, but somehow femenine voice said. It sounded like it was almost begging. Another deep, but much smaller voice replied. It was a male's.

"On the contrary Esmerelda, I can make you do whatever I want! You belong to me now!"

"B-but... I don't want to hurt them! They never did anything to me!"

"I don't care! It doesn't matter if they did anything to you. What matters is that you destroy my competition!" I frowned deeply. Something was definitely not right here. I slowly crawled over to the mouth of the cave. I moved in quietly and peeked my head around the stone wall to see what was going on. Inside the cave, a black stallion unicorn with a red mane was yelling at the gigantic blue dragon. His horn was glowing, and there was a black magic chain wrapped around the dragon's neck like a collar.

"Why?! Why would you do this? Why do you make me kill them?!"

"Because it will get me loads of bits! With me being the last remaning blacksmith of Stalliongrad, I'll be legendary! Ponies will come from all corners of the world for my services! I'll make fortunes! The best part is, when that hero I asked Luna to send gets here, he'll kill you and destroy the only evidence!" He cackled evilly.

"This isn't right! Please stop this! You weren't like this when I met you! What happened to my friend?" The black unicorn seemed to become angry.

"He's gone! He died when I lost everything! Now you're going to help me get it back! Now, burning the wooden buildings has worked for now, but we need to do better! I want you to fly down to the city and destroy the stone workshops! I don't care how and I don't care who gets hurt! Just do it!"

"I... I don't want to!" The chain around the dragon's neck started flashing.

"You dare to disobey me?!" The collar crackled with black lightning and the dragon cried out in pain.

"Ahhh!" It fell to the floor in a quivering heap.

"Now, do as I say!" The dragon got back to her feet.

"Y-yes Forge... I... I'll do it..." I stepped out from behind the cave mouth and un-sheathed the Buster Sword.

"Well, it seems Luna was a bit wrong about my mission!" I shouted. The dragon and the unicorn both jumped. "I thought I had to save the ponies from a dragon, but it seems I'm saving a dragon from a pony!"

"You! What are you!?" The unicorn shouted.

"Me? I'm the Lunar Knight, Sharky White! Your worst nightmare." I charged at the unicorn, sword raised and ready to end him.

"Esmerelda! Protect me!" The gigantic blue dragon rushed in front of me, quickly covering the short distance of the cave. Up close, I could see that she was very tall and thin. Her body had curves similar to a human female. The spines along her head were short and non-threatening. Her talons were long and pointy, but from the way they shone I could assume that she never used them for violence. Her scales were a rich, deep sapphire, but the ones on her chest and underbody were a pale white. Her eyes were large, turquoise orbs with a normal pupil instead of a slit. She looked at me with a miserable expression of sadness on her face.

"Help me..." She begged before she sent a giant blast of fire at me. I jumped to my right and rolled on the ground as the blast flew by my shoulder.

"Kill it Esmerelda! I won't have it ruining my plans!" Esmerelda turned to follow me as I scrambled back to my feet. She blew another blast of flame at me, but I blocked it with the Buster Sword. The flame split on the sword and flew off to either side of me. The blast of flame ended, but she followed up by swinging at me with her right talon. The blow hit me on my right arm and the force threw me into the wall at the back of the cave. The unicorn was near the right wall of the cave, and Esmerelda was now blocking the exit. I fell away from the wall and landed on my feet.

"Let her go! I will mount your skull on my wall!" I yelled as I charged at the unicorn again. This time I started focusing my void on his magic. I could feel it begin to run into me, but it was slow and felt wrong. Like it was tainted. I ignored the odd feel of his magic and continued my rush.

"No! She is my ticket to fortune! Get him Esmerelda!" Right before I got into swinging range of the unicorn, another talon came towards me. I ducked and rolled forward, sliding under the talon. I stood back up and reared back my sword to end the unicorn, but then Esmerelda's tail wrapped around my waist and pulled me away from him. She lifted me up and moved me towards her face. A tear fell out of her right eye as she looked at me.

"I'm sorry..." She whispered. Then she opened her mouth and threw me forward towards her maw. I fell forward, but in a last-ditch effort, I threw the Buster Sword at the top of her mouth. In suprise, she clamped her mouth shut. I smacked into her jaw and fell to the ground.

"No! Esmerelda you idiot! Kill him quickly!" The Buster Sword clattered to the ground next to me noisily. I quickly grabbed it right as Esmerelda lifted a huge, dainty foreleg to crush me. With no time to move, I crossed my arms above me protectively. Her forelegs smashed into my arms, but she immediately pulled it away with a cry of pain. I was splattered with warm, dark red blood. I ignored the blood and hoisted my sword as I charged at the stallion again.

"God damn you have so earned this death!" Esmerelda's tail flew at me again, but I got to Forge before she reached me. His eyes widened and he cowered below me. At the last moment, I lost my resolve to kill him. No matter what he did, I couldn't find it in my heart to cut him open in front of my own eyes. Then, my arms swung down of their own accord. "I'll kill him then!" The Buster Sword plunged through his chest. The glow on his horn stopped and he gave a dying gasp. He looked at me, and for a moment, I could swear his eyes were orange. Then he blinked, and they were brown. He opened his mouth and whispered one last thing. I had to lean in to hear him.

"Thank... You..." With that, he coughed once, then the light faded from his eyes as his head rolled back. I heard a shattering sound, and when I turned to look at Esmerelda, the chain around her neck was gone. Her tail still charged me, and I was wrapped up and lifted again. My sword was left behind, still in the stallion's dead body. I felt true fear grip me as I was once again held in front of the dragon's face. Tears were flowing freely from her eyes. I closed my eyes, and prepared to die... again.

Instead, I felt a warm, firm, scaly snout press up against my face.

*mwah* The snout clicked with a small kissing noise as it pulled away from my face. I opened my eyes and looked at the dragon. She pulled me forward an held me to her breast.

"Uhh... you aren't going to kill me?" I asked hesitantly. "Steven, keep quiet. We can make it out alive if you don't piss her off!" I whispered quietly. Just barely loud enough for me to hear. "Don't have to tell me twice." Esmerelda's chest was shaking with sobs.

"K-kill you?! You saved me! Thank you hero! Thank you so much!" She wailed as she hugged me.

"Well... This is not what I expected to happen today at all." Her sobs steadily slowed to a halt and she started sniffling. She extended her tail a short distance and set me down. She was wiping her eyes with the back of her left talon.

"I'm so sorry for attacking you... I had no choice..." She whimpered.

"No, I understand. Now... I've got a very interesting report to make... Nice to meet you by the way." She sniffled a few more times before sending me a gentle smile.

"My name is Esmerelda... Thank you..."

"No problem. It's very nice to meet you Esmerelda... despite the circumstances."

"Yes... thank you for not killing me..."

"Bwahahahahaha! You are worried about me killing you?! Do you realize how much weaker I am than you? I'm happy you aren't killing me!" I pulled out my phone and called Luna.

"Ah, greetings Sharky! Hath thou slain the dragon?"

"Uhh... not exactly... Luna, meet my new friend. Esmerelda."

Flight

"Thou hath befriended the dragon?! Sharky! This borders on betrayal!" Luna looked pissed as I showed her Esmerelda.

"Whoa! Calm down! It wasn't her fault that the houses were being burnt down!" Luna blinked at me a few times.

"So, this is not the dragon responsible for the attacks on Stalliongrad?" I frowned.

"Well... I didn't say that... She did attack, bu--"

"Then she is an enemy Sharky! Thou should be slaying her!"

"Wait! It wasn't her fault! A unicorn blacksmith was making her do it!" Luna snorted.

"Tis impossible! The only spell strong enough to hold a dragon must be cast with the dragon's cooperation!"

"Yes... it's true... I let him cast the spell that bound me to him..." Esmerelda confessed. I gave her a confused look.

"You let him control you?"

"No! It wasn't like that... You see, Forge had been my friend... I found him wandering all alone in the mountains, starving and dying of thirst. I took him in... saved him..."

"Well... then how did this 'Forge' manage to control you?" Luna asked.

"We became good friends... He... he started taking small trips out of the cave one day... each time he came back, he seemed more angry... he talked about becoming rich... Then, one day when he came back... he asked me if I trusted him... I said yes. He asked me if he could preform a small spell on me... he wouldn't tell me what it did or why... but he kept asking me if I trusted him... He tricked me. I ended up bound to him and unable to keep from attacking the town..." Esmerelda broke down into sobs as she finished her tale. Luna looked upset as well.

"Oh... I apologize for thine troubles... Sharky, it appears you have surpassed expectation once again."

"No problem Luna. If you could just inform the train of the defeated dragon, that'd be fantastic. I don't want to spend more time away from my friends than necessary." Luna nodded.

"Very well Sharky... Again, I apologize for thine troubles..." Esmerelda nodded to Luna.

"Thank you miss. That means a lot to me..." Luna opened her mouth again, but no words came out. She simply nodded then hung up. Esmerelda sniffled a few times before wiping her eyes. She gave me a small apologetic smile. "I cry too much don't I?" She gave a short laugh. I walked over to her and patted the talons on her right foreleg gently.

"No, it's fine. You've been through a lot it sounds like..." She nodded.

"I have..."

"Now... I have a question... You look different from any adult dragon I've seen. Why is that?" She swallowed audibly to cut off a few sobs.

"Oh... that's an easy one... You see, dragons can grow with extreme feelings, or with age." She turned her head to look down at me. "I'm willing to bet that you've seen masculine-looking dragons with huge spines that walk on all fours, right?" I nodded. "Yes... those dragons are either greed, rage, or aged dragons. They are so common, and they give the rest of our race a bad name."

"Oh, so those dragons are the only bad ones?" She nodded.

"Only those, and the rare case of an unordinarily grown dragon, cause anypony trouble." She sniffled a few times. "I, am a compassion dragon. I love being nice and helping ponies... but they usually run away from me screaming... I didn't have any friends until I met Forge..."

"Aww... I'm sorry Esmerelda... What about other dragons? Don't you have any dragon friends?" She shook her head.

"Nice dragons like me are hard to find, and it's impossible to befriend those greedy, crotchety dragons..." She unconsciously lifted me up with the foreleg I had been patting and held me to he chest. The blood on the bottom of her talon was dried.

"Huh... this is what it feels like when I lift the girls..." I mumbled to myself. It was nice. Warm. I could get used to it.

"So, you said something about getting back to some friends? What are they like?"

"Oh! You'd really like them! Let's see... There's Twilight, she's a unicorn. She really good with magic..." I droned on about my friends. Esmerelda seemed really interested, She asked plenty of questions, and always wanted to know more about them. She seemed very interested in Blaze.

"A dragon-pony?! That's amazing! How was he concived?!" I blushed deep red.

"Ah... I never really asked that... neither did he I think..." Esmerelda seemed disappointed.

"Huh... Well darn. Oh, sorry... That question must have been akward for you, wasn't it?" I shook my head.

"No, it's alright. I wonder that myself sometimes... Oh well, not too important I guess. Anyway, the last friend of mine is Spike. He's a baby dragon."

"Ooooh! You know a baby dragon?! How?"

"Well, my friend Twilight magically hatched him from an egg." Esmerelda gave me a confused look.

"The unicorn? How did she get an egg?"

"She had to hatch it to get into some magic school or something like that. Celestia let her keep the baby dragon."

"Celestia! That old girl's still kicking huh? How is she?" I gave her a confused look.

"You know Celestia?"

"Why of course! I met her about... 300 years ago was it? She was one of my best friends!"

"... You were friends with Celestia while Luna was imprisoned?"

"Who's Luna?"

"Celestia's sister." Esmerelda blinked at me blankly. "Nightmare Moon?"

"Oh! That one! Yeah, Celestia was always upset about her... I didn't know she was her sister..."

"Yeah, Luna is the mare I just talked to actually."

"Ah, it all makes sense now..."

"So, you said something earlier about greed and age dragons walking on all fours... Don't all dragons do that?"

"Why of course not! Most of the nice dragons like me walk on two legs. Like you!"

"Then why are you on all fours right now?" She laughed.

"Does this cave look tall enough for me to stand in?" She pointed to the ceiling and accidentaly hit it with her talons. "See? Can't even raise my talon in here..." She looked down at me. "So... you said you wanted to get back to your friends soon yes?"

"Yeah, I do. Sadly, the train won''t be here for almost two days. It still has to finish it's trip back to the town behind Rutville, then come here..."

"Well... umm... If... if you think it's ok... I think I would like to meet these friends of yours..."

"Of course! I don't think you can get on the train though!" I joked. Esmerelda gave a short laugh.

"Actually... I was going to offer to fly you back..."

"YES! I mean *ehm* Uh... sure. He was wondering what it would be like to ride a dragon this whole time." Esmerelda frowned at me.

"What was that?"

"Oh... just excited about riding a dragon... sorry."

"No, not that, the voice. Why did you change your voice?"

"Ohhhh... Sorry... That voice is my other personality. I have two people in my head, normal me, then Steven. Steven is a prick, don't listen to him if he talks."

"So... the deep scary voice is really another person?"

"Well... kinda. Anyway... about flying..."

"Oh yes! Please, come with me." She set me back down on the ground and walked out of the cave. As soon as she was out, she stood up on her back legs and stretched out her arms. If she had been tall on all fours, she was TALL now. She stretched out two huge, translucent blue wings. I could see faint violet lines running through them, and the light of the sun passed through them. It cast eerie, but pretty shadows across the floor of the cave. She leapt off the ledge, flapped her wings, and flew off. I ran out to the ledge.

"Hey! What about me!?" Esmerelda circled the mountaintop and came back around.

"Jump off the ledge!" She shouted as she flew by.

"Are you insane? No way bitch! Ok!" I went back to Forge, removed my sword from his chest, and strapped it to my back. Then I sprinted forward and leapt off the ledge. I was falling freely for a few seconds, then Esmerelda appeard below me. I feel right on her neck, inbetween two spines. I immediately groaned in pain from the racking I had just recieved, but then grabbed the spine in front of me.

"You holding on tight?" Esmerelda asked excitedly.

"Yeah!"

"Good! Where is this Ponyville?"

"It's just a little distance away from Canter--"

"Ooooh! I haven't seen Canterlot in ages! Let's go there first!" With a mightly flap of her wings, we blasted off into the sky.

Well, let's face the facts here. I'm a physically enhanced badass that rides a dragon and can cast magic. Face it. I'm Eragon!

Esmerelda was fast. Not rainboom fast, but near it. What was even more impressive, we had been flying for several hours, but she didn't even seem to be winded. We had left all the iceland behind, and she was flying relatively low to the ground so that I could breathe. I couldn't help but laugh every time we flew over a town and ponies scattered everywhere.

"So, you know where Canterlot is?" I asked. I was trying not to talk too much while we had been flying. I had to strain my voice to be heard over the sound of the wind rushing by us.

"Why of course! I used to visit Celestia all the time!"

"Why don't you visit her anymore?"

"There was a huge war between dragons and ponies about a century and a half ago! Celestia told me to go into hiding! Say, that war isn't still going on is it?"

"No, no war. Why didn't you check sooner?"

"Well, I would have, but I knew it was still going for the first 40 years! After that, I had to take my first century nap! When I woke up, I was too scared to check! Forge told me though! I was going to check after he was fully healed and went back to his town... that won't be happening now..."

"Right... I'm sorry..."

"It's not your fault... well, it is your fault, but you did the right thing..."

"Ok... so, how long until we reach Canterlot?"

"Right abooooout... now." She flew around a mountain we had been heading towards. On the side of the mountain, was Canterlot.

"Oh... I guess I should've seen that! Well, lets... land in the royal gardens!" Esmerelda nodded and started a gentle descent towards the castle. We passed the many towers of Canterlot castle, then touched down next to the hedge maze. Esmerelda leaned down and came to a rest on all fours. Guards came pouring out of the castle and rushed into the gardens. One of them, brandishing a spear threateningly, approached Esmerelda. He was a white pegasus dressed in gold armor. Like the rest of the guards I had seen in the show.

"What are you doing here dragon?! You know your kind are not allowed near our land! Leave or die!" I stood up on Esmerelda's neck and ran up to the top of her head. I stood up just over her eyes.

"Well! That's quite the greeting to my new friend!" The guards that had gathered in a small semi-circle around Esmerelda all gasped.

"Sharky?! Are you mad? Is this some kind of attempt to attack the castle?!

"What? No! Do I look like an idiot to you? Esmerelda is nice! She's a compassion dragon!"

"... I don't know what that means, and I don't care! Bringing a dragon into Canterlot is forbidden!" The guard yelled at me. I leapt off of Esmerelda's head and landed in front of of him. He gasped and almost fell backwards. He ended up dropping his spear harmlessly to the side.

"I don't see why! I heard there was some dragon war a long time ago or something, but it should be fine now."

"Yes, but they are still considered enemies! Get her out of here! Celestia's going to--" Celestia dropped out of nowhere and landed next to me with a boom. She was facing Esmerelda.

"Greet my old friend!" She said with a smile.

Shining

"Celestia! How good to see you again!" Esmerelda said joyfully. "How have things been for you this past century?" The guards were all staring open mouthed at the talking friends.

"Oh, not as well as I'd hoped. The war really put a damper on thing for those years you were gone. To be honest, I was worried you had been one of the casualties!" I turned to the guards and started shooing them back to the castle.

"Oh, I was worried myself a few times! Luckily, nothing happened to me."

"What about your century nap? You told me it was coming soon before you left. How did you keep warriors from killing you in your sleep?"

"I simply found this cozy little cave far in the north! I guess nopony thought to look for me there." I managed to get the shocked guards to start slowly walking back to the castle, but they were still staring at the conversing girls.

"Well, I'm very glad to see you again Esmerelda! Though, if my memory serves, your nap should have ended... 10 years ago was it?"

"Ha, your memory's failing you old friend! It was 8 years ago." Celestia rolled her eyes.

"Always the stickler for details aren't you? I believe I was close enough. Well, if you woke 8 years ago, why haven't you visited until now?" I got the guards ponies to start trotting back to the castle. I started walking along with them. I decided to leave these two be and go call Twilight to tell her I would be coming back soon.

"I would've visited, but I was too afraid that the war was still going on! I figured it out eventually though!" I had ushered all the guards past the hedge maze and into the statue garden. Celestia and Esmerelda were out of earshot now, so they were able to somewhat clear their heads of some of the shock. They all trotted back the castle of their own accord. I nodded approvingly and pulled out my phone as I followed them into the castle. I hit Twilight's call button. Her face faded into view. She was sitting in a tiny bunk bed, reading a book. There was a window to the left, and an aisle that divided her bed from other beds on the other side of whatever room she was in. I didn't quite understand where she was until I saw a few trees rush by through the window.

"Hey Twilight, what are you doing on a train?" She lifted her head really quickly in suprise, causing herself to hit her horn on the bunk above her. She gasped and rubbed the top of her horn gingerly.

"Ow... Sharky? That thing needs to make a warning noise or something..."

"Oh, sorry! I didn't mean to startle you!" Twilight stopped rubbing her horn and waved a hoof dismissively.

"No no, it's nice that you called! Listen, I don't want you to go fight that dragon ok? Please?" She had apparently totally forgotten her book. She had a tone of desperation in her voice as she pleaded.

"Well, you're a little late Twilight. I already found the dragon!" Her eyes widened.

"You aren't calling because you think you're dying are you?! Ohhh! I told you not to fight the dragon! Wait, you haven't fought it yet have you?! Run away! Run away now!"

"Whoa whoa! Calm down! I already handled the problem." She gave me a look of confusion.

"What do you mean? You killed the dragon already? How?"

"Well, I didn't say anything about killing it..." Twilight's eyes widened again.

"Oh no! You didn't let it go did you? Sharky, dragons are ceaseless revenge-seekers! If you didn't kill it, it'll--"

"No! You won't let me explain jeez!" Twilight shut her mouth and looked at me intensely.

"I made friends with the dragon. Her name is Esmerelda. She was under control of a unicorn. I saved her." Twilight looked even more confused.

"... But a dragon can only be controlled if--"

"Yeah yeah, if the dragon lets them cast the spell. She was friends with the unicorn that tricked her into letting him enslave her."

"... So... you are now friends with a dragon... that you were supposed to kill."

"Yes." Twilight threw her forehooves up and rolled her eyes to look up.

"Of course! Of course you did! It doesn't make sense, therefore you did it!" She let her hooves fall to the matress and buried her face in her book.

"Okayyyy... anyway, why are you on a train?" Twilight lifted her head out of her book.

"Actually, why aren't you? The dragon problem is solved, so why aren't you on your way ba--" I walked past Starswirl the Bearded's statue in the garden. "You're in the royal gardens?! How?"

"Oh, Esmerelda flew me to Canterlot."

"What?! You flew into Canterlot on a dragon?! Sharky, are you insane!? The princesses--"

"Oh, she's friends with Celestia. We're not in any danger by being here." Twilight opened her mouth, then just closed it. She repeated this a few times, reminding me of a fish. Then she just let her head fall back into her book.

"Of course. Of couse. I shouldn't be suprised." Twilight mumbled into her book. Then she lifted her head and gave me an excited smile. "Wait, you're in Canterlot!"

"No shit genius. Yeah, you already said that..."

"This is perfect! Stay in Canterlot ok? I should be there soon!" I gave her a confused look this time.

"Why would you be in Canterlot?"

"I'm coming there to see Shining Armor! I should be there late tonight, then I can introduce you two!"

"Hey! That sounds like fun!" Twilight gave me a confused look before I could respond.

"Really Steven?"

"Ha! Fuck no! Oh Twilight! Don't talk to him! Also... if you're on a train to Canterlot, where is Unity?" Twilight facehoofed.

"Right, don't communicate with Steven. Don't worry, I wouldn't leave Unity all alone! He's with Fluttershy."

"Well then who's heating up his bottles?"

"Rarity."

"Well, you just have all the answers don't you?" Twilight smiled broadly.

"Eeyup! Planned this all out right after you called! Anyway, will you stay? I really want you to meet my brother!" I inhaled and was about to say no, but then she gave me the giant begging eyes. I sighed.

"Ok, fine. I'll stay."

"Oooh! Yay! Thank you Sharky!"

"Yeah... no problem I guess. Now, if you'll excuse me... I have to go find Luna."

"Ok! Bye Sharky!"

"Bye Twilight." I hung up. I passed the Discord statue, and it almost felt like his magic was trying to force me to copy it. I quikly jogged away. I jogged to the nearest guard. "Hey, where's Luna?"

"Uhh... Well, she usually spends most of her time in the flower gardens... Over there." He pointed a hoof towards a bunch of snow covered bushes.

"Thanks!" I turned and started heading in the direction he had indicated. After wandering aimlessly among the bushes, I found Luna sitting in the same place we had our speaking lessons in. Her horn was glowing, and she appeared to be very focused on tending to the turtle-shaped bush.

Guess that explains why she didn't rush in when Esmerelda flew down... I thought to myself. I had been wondering why Celestia had come running but Luna hadn't.

"Hi Luna! Doing some garden work?" Luna jumped with a start, then turned around to face me.

"Sharky? How art thou here?! We hath only recently alerted the trains!"

"Hey! Watch the 'we' Luna! I thought you learned better! Esmerelda flew me here." Luna's eyes widened.

"The dragon is here?! Sharky, Celestia will destroy her!"

"Nope. They're old friends apparently." Luna gave me a confused look.

"They are old friends? We were not aware of this..."

"Geez Luna! You're talking like you haven't learned anything!"

"Curses! Your unexpected apperance startled us to the point of losing our focus when attempting to speak correctly!"

"I'll say! It's a good thing I need to stay in Canterlot for awhile, because you need another lesson!" Luna laughed.

"Quite right, Mr. White!" Luna giggled at the title again. I groaned.

"Still can't take me seriously as a teacher huh? Ok, I guess I gotta be more stern! Then maybe you'll learn better."

"Oh, going to be firm with us now? Well then, let us begin Mr. White!" She tried to keep a straight face, I could tell she was trying. She still burst into giggles though. I clapped my hands together loudly, stopping her mid-laugh.

"Hey! Time to work, not giggle! Let's go!" Luna straightened herself up and gave me a mock salute.

"Yes sir!" We both tried to keep a straight face, but we both burst out laughing that time. Eventually, I managed to get Luna to calm down, and we dove into another lesson. I made sure to sit just far away enough that I wouldn't start absorbing her magic.

"Good job today Luna! I think we covered a lot!" We had been working so long that Luna now had to leave to raise the moon.

"Don't be ridiculous... I feel I will never truly grasp this speech pattern..." Luna had been having some difficulty this time.

"C'mon Luna! You're already doing much better! Of course you'll get it!"

"I don't know Sharky... 'Tis very difficult to put forth so much effort..."

"Hey! No quitting on me now! I'm going to teach you to talk right! We're going to do this together Luna!" Luna looked at me from her position next to the turtle bush.

"Really? Doth thou truly mean to stick with us? I know I'm not a very good student..."

"Well, taking me a bit more seriously wouldn't kill you, but of course! You're a great student by the way. You put more effort into this than I think I ever did in school." Luna smiled warmly at me.

"Thank you Sharky... Thine words of encouragement mean much to us."

"Not a problem Luna! Now, you've got a moon to raise, and I've got a Twilight to find..." Luna nodded affirmatively and trotted off towards the castle. I pulled out my phone and called Twilight again. She was standing in the aisle of the train this time, and she had some saddlebags on. I guess she saw my face fade into view this time, because she smiled at me instead of freaking out.

"Sharky! Perfect timing! I'm leaving the train now! I trust you waited in Canterlot, right?"

"Eeyup! I'm on my way to the train station now! ... Where is it exactly?"

"Well... It's very close to the castle... As soon as I get off the train and greet Shining Armor, I'll send up a beam of light to help you find it ok?"

"Shining Armor is waiting for you at the train station? Creeper. How quaint. Well, I'll see you two soon!"

"See you soon Sharky!" I hung up and put my phone back in my pouch. Then I just wandered around aimlessly for awhile until I saw a beam of purple light shoot up from the edge of the city.

"Oh, that's my cue." I started jogging in the direction of the light. Soon enough, I encountered a wall that went all around Canterlot castle. I followed it until I reached a huge metal gate with two guards on both sides of it. "Hey guys! Can I pass?" One of the unicorn guards nodded to me. His horn glowed, then the gates slowly swung outward. "Thanks!" I passed through the gate and it pulled shut behind me. The purple light was gone, but I was pretty sure about the direction it had been. I started off down the street again, and it wasn't long before...

"Look! It's the hero!" I groaned.

"One day. One day without a mob. Is that too much to ask? Yeah, the hero! All of you can die in a firey inferno! Heh heh, this is fun." Ponies poured out into the streets as cries of 'the hero' resounded through the surrounding area. I tried to ignore them and keep walking.

"Hey hero! Do you remember me I--"

"Hi! It's nice to meet you! I was wondering if you'd be interested in--"

"What happened to your mane?"

"Caught on fucking fire. Now piss off."

"Are you here to fight that dragon?"

"No, she's my friend." I sighed.

"Where are you going, hero?"

"Can I get you autogr--"

"That's a cool sword! Can you show us--" The train platform came into view as I walked, a growing crowd trailing behind and around me. I moved past as many of them as I could, and there, waiting on the platform was Twilight. A broad grin crossed my face.

"Twilight!" I shouted over the crowd. They all went silent as they realized I was talking. "How are you?" She smiled back at me.

"Fantastic! You certainly do draw a crowd don't you?"

"Uhh... yes." I turned back to the crowd. "Do you all mind? I'm trying to spend some time with my friend."

"No! Go ahead!" One voice called from the back of the crowd. I frowned.

"I mean, leave. Please. Before I kill you all." All of them jumped slightly and ran off.

"Hey! You can't threaten the citizens like that!" I turned back to the platform, and standing next to Twilight was a large white stallion with a blue/light blue mane. He had a very solid-looking build and a shield with Twilight's sparkle in the shield as his cutie mark. I frowned at him. He was scowling at me and appeared to be ready to charge me.

"I didn't threaten anypony. I asked them to leave! I even said please!" He growled a little.

"Do you think I'm stupid?! You just threatened to kill them!" Twilight tapped his side with a hoof.

"Uhh... yeah, something about Sharky that I forgot to tell you Shining..."

"Oh! This is Shining Armor?" I walked over to him and extended a hand. "Nice to meet you! I'm Sharky White!" He spat on my hand. "Bitch you will regret that! Hey! What was that for?!"

"Oh! threatening me now too huh?! I don't shake hooves with those who threaten the ones they are meant to protect!"

"What? I didn't threaten you! I asked why you just spat on me! I didn't even threaten anypony! Twilight, what's going on here?"

"Shining! Listen to me!" Twilight pleaded.

"This thing is filth Twily! Why did you think so highly of him?!"

"Hey! No need to insult me! I was just trying to be friendly and shake hands! I will cut out your damn tounge for that!" Shining whinnied in anger.

"That's it! You're no hero! You're not worthy to be a knight! You certainly aren't worthy of Twily!"

"Wait, what?"

"Shining! You need to listen to me! He isn't bad, it--"

"You're going to defend him?! You heard him! He threatened to kill several times!"

"But Shining, he's--"

"No Twily!" His horn glowed and a wall of pink light appeared in front of Twilight. "This thing is a threat! He needs to be dealt with!" Shining crouched down into an attack stance. I looked at him for a second, then burst out laughing.

"Ahahaha! I'm not fighting you! Especially when you're unarmed! It wouldn't even be a fight! It'd be a slaughter!" Shining scoffed at me.

"Oh, so you'll threaten all day, but when somepony stands up to you, all of the sudden you're a chicken!" I narrowed my eyes.

"What did you just call me?"

"Oh no..." Twilight mumbled from behind her wall.

"You heard me! You're a coward! A chicken! Not even worthy to know Twily!" I pulled off my gloves and unsheathed my sword. I threw them all to the side.

"You know, I really hate hurting ponies, but you just asked for this. Yes! This will be so much fun!" Shining snorted once, steam curled from his nostrils.

"I'll destroy you villian!" He shouted as he charged me.

Hiya! Well, made this one extra long... ish. Now, don't forget to visit my blog K? I'm making a bonus Q & A chapter, but I need you guys to ask questions to write it. You can ask any character(s) any question(s). Thank you for taking the time. I will be accepting questions from now until midnight 5/12/12 EST.

Egg

Shining charged me, and I decided to grab the... unicorn by the... horn. I grabbed his horn as he ran at me, halting him instantly. I knealt down and swung his horn down quickly, smashing his face into the ground.

"Now, let me make one thing perfectly clear, ok?" I asked him as I held him to the ground. I lifted his head so he could look into my eyes. "Nopony insults my bravery, understand?" In response, he brought up his right forehoof and hit me across my right cheek. I released him in suprise, and he got back to his hooves and leapt away from me.

"Let me make this perfectly clear! I'll not stand by and let a monster like you roam around under the guise of a hero!" I rolled my eyes and stood back up.

"Tell me, what exactly makes me a monster?"

"Yeah, he's no monster Shining!" Twilight agreed. Shining turned to her and his horn glowed again. The wall around her turned into a box.

"Sorry sis, but this might get dangerous..." He turned back to me. "Now, you're a monster because you pretend to be a hero! I've known you for only a short time, and already you've threatened to kill not only me, but an entire crowd of civillians! Celestia knows what you do elsewhere! Not only that, but you've completely fooled my sister into believing you're noble and causing her to fall for you!"

"Ok, two things. One, you're insane. I never threatened anypony. Two, you're foolish to challenge something as powerful as me. Now, I'm going to enjoy killing you. Wait, what was that bit about Twilight?"

"Ha! Again you make empty threats! I will strike you down before you can cause any real damage!"

"... Can we fight now?"

"Dear Celestia... YES!" I jumped at Shining Armor, swinging my right fist at his head. Before I reached him, his horn glowed and he lifted me off the ground.

"Hey! No fair!" I shouted.

"Quit whining beast! Now, to dispose of you!" He raised me with his aura. I started trying to focus in on his magic, but I couldn't absorb it very quickly. I changed my mind and directed my efforts at Twilight's magic instead. It flowed into me almost eagerly. Shining rushed me down, slamming me into the stone floor of the platform.

"Was that supposed to hurt? Wow, that didn't hurt too much. I guess I'm more resilient than I thought." Shining Armor lifted me again and slammed me into the ground, repeating this process over and over again.

"When I--"

*BAM*

"Get out of--"

*BAM*

"Here, you are--"

*BAM*

"GOING TO DIE!"

*BAM*

"More empty threats from the false hero I see!" Shining jeered.

"I still didn't--"

*BAM*

"Say any--"

*BAM*

"Thing!! Ow."

*BAM* Twilight was scrambling around in her little box. She was screaming in Shining Armor's direction and shooting little blasts of magic at the box, but nothing was working. Luckily, I had copied her magic enough at this point to use it.

*BAM* I lifted Shining with Twilight's magic, and we were both suddenly hovering above the ground.

"W-whoa! Who dares to--" He looked at the aura around him. "Twily?! You're doing this!?" He looked to Twilight, still scrambling in her box. "T-then who...?" He looked at me and the small half-grown horn on my head. "B-but... what?"

"Oh, believe it. Now, where were we? Oh yes!" I thrushted Shining down into the platform floor.

*BAM* The light around his horn faded and he dropped me. I landed on the ground crouching and the box around Twilight faded. I walked over to him.

"Sorry about that. Now, you going to not try to kill me while we figure whatever just happened out?" His eyes had been closed, but when I knealt next to him, they flew open. He jumped back to his hooves, and his horn glowed. All of the sudden, I was in a box. "Oh cheap shot!" I yelled at the magic walls of my cage. Twilight ran over to him and started pushing on his side, like she was trying to force him to stop physically. He turned and said something to her, then she was suddenly in a cage too. He turned back to me. Suddenly, the walls of my cage began to shrink rapidly. "You bastard! You coward! I swear I'll kill you! Hey! You're going to just murder me?! Where is the honor here? The dignity?!" He didn't seem to hear me, and the walls kept shrinking in. Twilight was across from me, beating on the walls of her cage and seemed to be crying.

Crap! What am I going to do?! Uhh... think... Oh! Maybe if I... I focused my void in specifically on the wall in front of me, the one facing Shining Armor. I could see it begin to fade as the magic began to flow into me, instantly cancelling out Twilight's magic. It didn't disappear, but I didn't need it to. I started beating on the wall as hard as I could. Shining Armor started laughing at me, and right then, my left hand smashed through the wall. I could her Shining gasp as I broke the light barrier apart. I stepped out of the shrinking box and strode over to him.

"W-what are you?!" He gasped.

"Me? I'm just a Lunar Knight. With power you can't even begin to understand." I pointed at ground on the platform right beside him. "Case of point, Thundraga." A bolt of lighning struck right next to him, pelting him with pebbles from the shattered top of the platform. He yelped a little.

"I-I still have t-to defeat you! You're evil!" He shouted with a suprising amount of bravery. I sighed.

"I'm not evil! I swear! If I were evil, wouldn't I have just killed you with that bolt instead of making it strike next to you?" Shining seemed to think for a moment.

"I-I suppose..."

"If I were evil, why would I throw my weapons down and engage you in fair combat?" He looked at my sizeable weapons and thought again.

"Y-you h-have a point... but then why did you keep making threats huh? I've never heard of any good pony making threats like that!" He countered. I thought for a moment.

"When I was threatening you, did I sound like I do right now?"

"No, but what does that matter?" I sighed.

"Dear lord, Steven you prick! Quit messing with everypony! Hey! It's fun as hell! You know you liked the fight!" Shining gave me an incredibly confused look.

"What the buck?"

"Look, long story short, I'm two different people. One is the real me, this one. The other is a dick. He is Steven. Sup bitch. When I change my voice, I'm Steven." Shining looked confused.

"So... you are evil, but only half evil?"

"No, not quite. The other voice can only talk for the most part. I control my body, so I'm doing good with it only."

"... Then I just royally screwed up didn't I?"

"Oh yeah. You're just lucky I can't move these arms or I'd rip off your forelegs and beat you to death with them!" Shining shuddered.

"That Steven one is truly terrifying, and I've seen stuff that would make hardened stallions piss themselves." He looked to Twilight, still beating on her box with her eyes closed. I guess she hadn't just seen what happened. "She was trying to explain that wasn't she?"

"Most likely."

"Aww... I shoulda listened to her..." He dispelled the box around Twilight.

"No! No you can't kill him!" She fell forward as her hooves started hitting only air. She blinked her eyes open with a start right before she hit the ground. Shining caught her with his aura and stood her back up. "W-what just happened?"

"Shining here realized how big he just fucked screwed up." Twilight glared at him.

"Y-you... you just almost killed him!" He grimaced.

"I'm sorry Twily! I didn't know about the Steven thing!"

"Hey, no hard feelings right? Besides, you aren't the only thing that's tried to kill me so far." He looked at me apologetically.

"I truly am sorry sir White, I truly believed you were a threat."

"Eh, it's ok."

"Whoa no! He just tried to kill you! You can't just pass it over like that!" Twilight shouted. I gave her a confused look.

"Why not?"

"... Forget it. Shining, you didn't listen to me!" He sighed.

"You're right Twily, I should have let you talk. I'm very sorry, it won't happen again." Twilight nodded with satisfaction.

"You better. I'm just happy you both seem to be getting along now..."

"Yeah. All we had to do was almost kill each other. Now, what should we do since we're both alive?" I asked.

"Well, I made us reservations at a nice little restaurant... If you think it would be ok..." Shining offered.

"Sounds great! I haven't eaten all day! Just one more thing..." Shining gave me a questioning look.

"What?" I punched him in the jaw. "Ow! What was that for?!"

"Insulting my bravery. Now, let's go get dinner." Shining looked to Twilight. He leaned in to whisper to her.

"Are you sure about this guy? He just hit me, and we weren't even fighting that time!" Twilight whispered back.

"Yes, I'm sure... and you deserved that one." Shining nodded.

"True." He straightened back up. "Well, follow me everypony. Dinner is this way." He started trotting off, Twilight and I following closely behind.

We had been ushered into a huge fancy building in a matter of minutes. The inside was filled with gold trinkets, armies of waiters in tuxedos, a gigantic crystal chandelier, and tons of tables decorated with candles, fancily folded napkins, and decorated tableware. A unicorn waiter, clearly shocked to see either Shining Armor or I, showed us to a table for three. It was square with four seats. Twilight sat to my right, and Shining sat across from me.

"So... *Ehm* What can I umm... get you all to drink?" The waiter stammered nervously. I could feel the eyes of everypony in the building on us.

"Just water, thank you." I replied as I started shying away from everypony's gaze.

"Same for me sir." Shining agreed.

"I think I'll have some unsweetened hay tea please." The waiter hastily scribbled down our orders on a notepad he was levitating. He nodded once then disappeared. "Well, if you two will excuse me for a moment..." Twilight pushed herself away from the table.

"Where you going Twilight?" I called after her.

"Umm... just... going to the little filly's room..." She trotted off quickly. I looked back to Shining Armor.

"Sooo... Fancy place..."

"Yeah, yes it is." He agreed. He was staring at me intensely.

"Awww crap, here it comes."

"So... Sharky. I've heard a lot about you being some kind of hero." I groaned.

"I hate that title!" Shining's eyes widened. "I just do what anypony else would do if they were me!"

"Wow, suprising amount of humility. That's good. So, what do you think of my sister?"

"Well, she's very nice, a great friend, and definitely one of the smartest girls I've ever known."

"Strange that you specifically mention girls. Are you sexist Sharky?"

"What? No! I was raised to respect women!" Shining Armor nodded.

"Good, good. Now, Twilight tells me you have a son."

"Twilight told you that? What did she say about him?"

"Nothing much, but who's son is he?"

"... Mine?"

"Don't play dumb with me! What's the mare's name huh?"

"Mare?" He leaned forward into the table.

"What mare had that child?!" He said each word firmly and slowly. I frowned.

"What? He's adopted! He's too dull to even know if a chick wanted to go through that process with him." Shining nodded again.

"Ok. Now, if my sister was in danger, would you protect her?" I scowled and and leaned over the table.

"With my damn life. Hells no! I'm savin my own ass!"

"Good. Now, what are your intentions with my sister?" I frowned again. I've been doing that a lot lately.

"What do you mean? I intend to be a good friend? I plan to rut her harshly, then leave her alone for the rest of her life. Potentially with my child. How's that for a dick answer?" Shining growled.

"Shut that Steven guy up! You know damn well what I mean!" He was almost hitting me in the face as he pointed at me aggresively.

"Whoa! Calm down dude!"

"Look, you better treat my sister right, or I'll--"

"Hey boys!" Twilight interrupted. Shining Armor shrank back to his seat and smiled at her warmly in about two seconds flat, leaving me totally confused about what just happened.

"Hey Twily! Glad you're back!"

"Uhh... Hi Twilight..."

"What's wrong Sharky?" Twilight gave me a concerned look.

"... I... I don't know..."

The rest of the dinner went off without a problem, until the bill arrived. I pulled it to me and pulled out my coin pouch.

"What are you doing?" Shining asked harshly. I gave him a confused look.

"Paying?"

"I'm supposed to do that! I was the one taking you two out!"

"Tough tits. Oh, well I'll pay anyway." Shining Armor opened his mouth to talk again, but Twilight cut him off by placing a hoof on his shoulder.

"It's ok Shining Armor, he does this." Shining looked at her, and as soon as he turned his head I placed 5 gold bits on the 326 bit bill. I waved the waiter over and handed it to him before Shining could do anything. "See?"

"Well... What do you guys want to do now?" Shining glared at me.

"Did you really just do that?!"

"Eeyup! Now, I'm going to find someplace else to go. You guys coming?"

"Right behind you Sharky!" Twilight hopped down from the table and trotted after me as I left.

"Hey! Wait up!" Shining left the table and trotted quickly to join us. We left the building and stepped out into cool night air. I inhaled deeply.

"Whew! Feels good to be outside! ...Do you guys hear that flapping sound?" I heard a giant 'whoosh' every few seconds.

"Yeah, sounds like dragon wings..." Shining agreed. I stepped further away from the building and out into the wide street. I looked up, and I could see Esmerelda's pale underbelly above the city.

"Hey! It's Esmerelda!"

"Who's Esmerelda?" Shining looked startled by the dragon, but didn't jump to attacking it.

"Relax, Esmerelda's my friend!" I turned back to look at him. He was looking up at Esmerelda.

"... Umm... Sharky... your friend... is coming." Shining started slowly moving backwards.

"What?" turned to look at her again, to see a talon reaching out for me not 20 feet away. "What the?!"

*FWOOSH* I was grabbed by the talon, and in moments I was flying high above the city in Esmerelda's grasp.

"Whoooaaaaaahhhh!!! The hell bitch?!" Esmerelda lifted her talon to her neck without speaking. I crawled out of her grasp and sat down in the middle of her neck. "What's going on?!"

"Sharky... I learned something terrible... I don't want to be here right now. Where's this Ponyville?" I could hear tears in Esmerelda's voice.

"Uhh... If memory serves, just fly west of Canterlot!" Esmerelda turned to adjust her flight path. "What the buck made you so upset?"

"War spoils." She said simply.

"What the heck does that mean?!"

"The dragon eggs Celestia allows her students to experiment on! She makes the dragons give her a few eggs every year to remind them of their defeat!"

"She what?!"

"I know... it's horrible!"

"Does she know you are upset about it?"

"No! I told her I was just going to meet your friends! I can't be near her though... Not after learning about that!"

"Wow... I can't believe that..."

"I know! ... I know..." Esmerelda sounded heartbroken.

"Hey... hey, it's ok Esmerelda..."

"No it isn't! Those are our children!" She wailed. "I only found out because she got the next shipment of them while we were talking..."

"... So, she just got some more?"

"Yes!"

"Well... If this really upsets you... I think I have an idea..." She turned her head to look at me while I was on her neck.

"What? What is it?" I grinned maliciously.

"Let's pay her a visit..."

Suppose

Well derp.

I had Esmerelda drop me in front of the castle gate. The guards opened the gate for me and I strode in confidently. I entered through the two huge doors that led into the castle. There were two guards waiting inside. I turned to the one on the right.

"Excuse me, I would like to speak with Celestia. Could you tell me where she is?"

"Do you have an appointment with her for an audience?" He grumbled stoically.

"Nnnnope. Just wanna speak with her."

"I'm afraid I can't let you see her."

"Well, I need to speak with her. It's very important."

"Is there a monster you can't defeat outside?"

"Somewhere I'm sure..."

"Don't get smart with me! Is half, all, or part of Canterlot on fire?"

"No..."

"Is the world coming to an end as we know it?"

"Not that I'm aware of."

"Then I'm afraid you don't have a good enough reason to see her without an appointment."

"..." I pulled out my phone and called Luna.

"Oh! Greetings Sharky! I was just about to send thee thine payment!" She was on the moon again.

"You know, I've been meaning to ask. Why do you spend so much time on the moon when you just got out of being imprisoned on it?" Luna looked around for a second.

"I... Don't know... I suppose 'tis more of my home then the world below nowadays..."

"Well... that's sad... Anyway, I need your help." Luna rolled her eyes.

"Of course. Thou never calls to simply say hello."

"... Hello. Now, where is your sister? I need to speak with her. Urgently."

"I believe 'Tia is holding court at the moment. What is so important?"

"Holding court? Is somepony in trouble?"

"No, court is when we hear the complaints of our denizens and do our best to aid them."

"... Do you mean 'we' as in 'I' or as in you and Celestia?"

"Tia and I, of course! Now, what was so important?"

"I uhh.... just need to find out where I can pick up some eggs..." Luna gave me a questioning look, but I hung up on her before she could ask any more questions. I looked back to the guard. "I need an appointment to go to the court?"

"That is correct sir."

"What if I just bust both of your heads and walk in?" The guard flinched and gulped.

"I... uh... I guess it's ok if you go in..." I gave him a confused look as him and his partner stepped out of the way quickly.

"Uhh... thanks I guess..." I started walking down the long hall. At the end of the hall, there were two gigantic double doors with a huge flank line of ponies leading away from them. They were all dressed in fairly nice looking clothing. I wouldn't normally find this odd, but ponies never wore clothing. "Whoa! Line!" A few of the ponies heads turned to me. "Oh crap..." They all gasped and a few of them ran over to me.

"H-hero! You're the hero!"

"Hero, I need your help!"

"No, I need his help! There's a giant r--"

"Well, my town is under assault from a--"

"No! My city is going to be wiped out by a pack of--"

"Wait! All of your cities are under attack?!" I shouted over the crowd. The few ponies still in line were staring at me, but they hadn't moved.

"No, my city is in a small drought. I'm just here to ask for rain from Cloudsdale." One of the ponies in line responded.

"We just had a small earthquake. I'm here to get help with repairs." Another one in the line added.

"Ah, I see. Only those with monster based problems ran to me." The ponies around me sheepishly nodded.

"... Well... I wish I could help all of you... but... As you can see..." I indicated my various bruises and burns. "I'm pretty banged up right now. I need to get a healing potion and talk to Celestia about something very important before I can actually be of any use." The ponies around me all took on a crestfallen look. Their shoulders and ears drooped as a few of them sighed.

"Oh... w-we understand hero... Sorry to bother you..." One of them mumbled as they trudged back to the line. It broke my heart to turn them away, but I knew that I wouldn't actually be of any help in my condition. Hell, I was barely sure about what I was doing now. The ponies all grudgingly returned to the line. I stood at the back of the line, and waited.

Sunday, January 27th

"Next!"

"Zzzzz..."

"Next!!"

"Waagh!" I woke up with a start. I had literally fallen asleep while standing in line. All the ponies in front of me were gone, and a white pegasus in the standard golden armor was waving me into the gigantic doors. "Oh, sorry! What time is it?!"

"I believe it's just past midnight. Now, are you going to talk to the princess or lay there like a dope?" I stood up and walked into the giant doors. There was a huge red carpet leading to a giant staircase. At the top of the staircase, Celestia was standing in front of two huge thrones. One black and decorated with stars, the other golden and decorated with painted flowers that were all the colors of Celestia's mane. There were pegasus guards lining both sides of the carpet, and two on either side of Celestia. The moment Celestia saw me, she gasped.

"Sharky?! What are you doing here? Are you here to adress a problem in Ponyville? No, surely Twilight would have written to me about anything like that..."

"Nope, I'm not here about anything in Ponyville." I started walking towards the staircase.

"Why are you here then? Not that it isn't nice to see you, but this court is reserved for those with pressing matters." I reached the base of the stairs and knelt in respect. "Now, now, none of that. Rise Sharky." I stood back up.

"Actually, I am here to adress a pressing problem." Celestia raised her right eyebrow at me.

"Really? Who do you speak for?"

"I speak for all those dragon children you've been forcibly kidnapping." Celestia's eyes flew open and she rocked back into a sitting position. All the guards gasped audibly.

"Out! All guards, leave this room NOW!" Celestia yelled harshly. The guards practically tripped over themselves trying to run out the doors. One of the guards next to Celestia literally tripped and fell down the stairs.

"Heh, that's funny shit. Oh hey, you need help up?" I asked the guard as he tumbled to my feet. He shook his head and scrambled away from me quickly. The guards all ran out nd quickly pulled the doors shut behind them.

*BOOM* The echo of the door slamming shut echoed through the now mostly empty room.

"Now, tell me exactly... what the problem is..." Celestia said lowly. She started trotting down the steps to me.

"You have no right to kidnap the children of a race just because you defeated them in warfare. I want you to release them." I stood steadfast even as Celestia stood only a few feet away from me. The overwhelming force and amount of her magic swelled over me like a tidal wave, trying to force me down. I held strong and tried to block it the best I could.

"You think it is wise to go against my decisions?" Celestia got right in my face, her nose inches away from mine. I looked her dead in the eyes, returning the firey determination in her expression ten fold.

"Wise, no. The right thing to do, yes. I should be scared right now, but I've almost died too many times today to care." Celestia snorted, blowing warm air over my face.

"So that is the Steven Luna told me about..." Celestia held my gaze for a few more seconds, then her expression softened and she backed away. "Good, your determination is strong. As to the issue of the dragon eggs, you are right Sharky." At this, I faltered a little.

"I... I am?"

"Yes. I despise the whole buisness. I had hoped Esmerelda would go to you and tell you of this. It seems I was correct." Now I was just shocked.

"... If you hate this, why do you do it?!"

"I have no choice Sharky. You must understand, Equestria is under constant threat. I protect my little ponies by being a rough, firm leader as far as all outsiders are concerned."

"Oooohhhh... So, you must keep taking eggs to look like you still have power over the dragons." Celestia nodded sadly.

"I do. I wish it wasn't necessary, but the moment I show weakness or kindness to another race, we could be thrust into war once more. It is something I wish to prevent with all my heart."

"I understand... the moment you stopped taking from the dragons, some enemies would see it as weakness and start a war..." Celestia nodded again.

"I can't let that happen. It would be horrible for my little ponies... I'm afaid I can do nothing about this..." Celestia's eyes widened and she quickly rushed into my face again. "But you! You!" She said excitedly.

"W-what about me?"

"If you do something, I don't risk looking weak! Sharky, I have an important assignment for you!"

"Ah crap, sounds like work. What? Anything to help!"

"You! I need you to steal the eggs! One lone thief taking the eggs couldn't be interpreted as weakness of my rule!"

"You need me to what?"

"Don't you see?! If you take them, peace can remain stable, but I don't have to keep these eggs just for them to be experimented on!"

"Y-you want me to rob you?"

"Yes! Of course! Will you do it?!"

"Uhh... Stealing! Fuck yeah I will!"

"Good! Now, the eggs are kept in the top of one of the three towers in the east wing."

"Wait, one of the three? Which one?" Celestia shrugged sadly.

"It changes every day and I don't bother to keep track of them. I've no idea which one they've placed it in today. You see, dragon eggs are very valuable. They're moved every day to prevent theives from stealing them for a profit. Luna and I assign new guards to protect and move them each day. Only our most trusted knights and guards are chosen."

"Well... How am I supposed to even get into the towers?"

"Suppose I had a watch change and somepony just happened to slip through unnoticed?"

"Well, judging by the fact that this appears very well guarded, I'd say that this somepony better be good at defending themselves."

"Something tells me that this somepony will be just fine. So, will you help me Sharky?"

"Sharky White, theif extroardinare, at your service, princess." I joked. Celestia chuckled.

"Very good. Now, remember. The guards in the towers won't move. If you can... and hate myself for saying this... rough up... a few of them to make sure this looks like a robbery..."

"I am on that shit! Uhh... Ok Celestia... if it's necessary..."

"Good... Please, follow me."

"Well... How do I get myself into this crap?" I was laying on the roof of the main part of Canterlot castle, facing the three east towers. I had decided to go for the first tower in front of me. They were all lined up straight, and I didn't want to run around the towers and waste time. There were three guards on each tower, two pegasi in front and a unicorn on top. They hadn't moved for the entire time I had been here. Celestia had taken me to a passage to get me up here, and she promised four guard changes. Three for me to check each tower if needed, and one more to get away. I was a little worried about fighting Luna and Celestia's top guards, but I was more worried about hurting them than fighting them. Then, as if they were automated, the guards started moving. The unicorns were retrieved by the pegasus guards, then they all started trotting towards the bulk of the building which I was on top of. As soon as they were under the part of the roof I was laying on, and stood up and leapt off the ledge. I landed and rolled forward silently, right behind the last pegasus. Luckily the snow was silencing my movements. I ran forward to the nearest tower quickly, desperate to move while I could. I reached the first tower. It had a handle just big enough for a hoof to fit through. I grabbed it and pulled on it.

Locked.

Crap.

Heist

"Good thing I keep a universal key..." I turned and rammed the door with my shoulder. It broke cleanly in half on my shoulder, allowing me to get in. The hinged part of the door remained upright, and I caught the other half before it fell. I leaned it against the wall silently. I stepped in, then fit the pieces of the door back together and placed them in the doorway. It worked well enough to where I didn't think somepony on the outside would think it looked off.

"Hey! What was that?" I heard a voice from above me. The inside of the tower was just one long, curving staircase with stone walls on both sides of the stairs. I couldn't possibly hide. I heard tapping as hooves started creeping down the stone steps.

"Ah crap... if anypony sees me then I'll be identified for sure..." I looked around quickly for any method of escape. I looked to the wall. Every other brick on the wall jutted out slightly. Meaningless to a pony, but life saving for me. I grabbed onto the bricks and scrambled up the wall. I ended up clinging to the wall about 5 feet above pony eye level. An unsuspecting guard came down the steps. He was a huge white unicorn, and he didn't bother to look up. Instead, he went straight to the door and started inspecting it.

Poor guy... I let go of the wall and started falling towards him. As I fell, I swung my right arm around. I connected against the side of his head with a crippling hammer-arm. He flew acroos the little space and slammed into the wall I had been clinging to. I hit the ground in a crouching position, my metal boots clicked against the stone. The guard hitting the wall had made quite a bit of noise, but nopony came rushing down the steps. I guessed there was only one guard in this tower. That most likely meant no eggs, but I decided to check just to make sure. I started running up the steps quickly, but stopped after the first few. I gasped a little as I realized that I was reaching my physical limits.

"Aww crap! I'm so exhausted..." My various wounds ached, but I shrugged it off and started up the stairs again, more slowly this time. Eventually, I reached the top of the tower. It was a large circular room with plain stone grey walls. In the center of the room, the was a small plant. I tilted my head curiously. "What the hell?" I crept towards the plant slowly, suspecting a trap. I knealt down next to the plant. It was a tiny unsuspecting thing. It looked like a tiny venus fly trap. It had to long green leaves extending from it, and the inside of it's 'mouth' was a brilliant blood red.

What the hell... I reached out to touch the little plant. Right before I made contact, the mouth of the plant sprung forward and snapped down on my finger.

"Gah! Son of a..." My finger had been sliced open, and a small amount of blood poured freely into it's mouth. I pulled my hand away. I inspected my finger, and the plant had bitten right through the metal mesh of my glove, taking a small chunk out of my index finger. I cursed under my breath and looked back to the plant. "Oh my... Crap..." The plant was now at least 10 times the size it had been when I had entered, and was still growing rapidly. The flowerpot it had been in burst open and a massive tangle of roots fell forward and reached out towards me eagerly. The leaves had grown into vines and were reaching out to bind me. The whole thing was only slightly taller than my waist, but terrifying as hell. I fell on my butt and scooted backwards rapidly. "Fuck, fuck, fuck Booby traps dammit! Shoulda seen that coming!" The plant's roots started scraping along the floor, pulling itself towards me. The large jaw snapped hungrily. "Dear god that's horrifying." I scrambled to my feet and jumped away from the reaching tendrils.

I am going to kill Celestia for not warning me! I quickly unsheathed the Buster Sword and held it out in front of me readily. The plant was still growing with alarming speed, now it was easily as tall as my chest. It kept pulling itself along the ground towards me. It reached out one of it's long vines, and I slashed about a foot of it off. The vine retracted and the plant shuddered. The creepiest thing about it was, it made no noise other than the gentle scraping of it pulling along the ground. The vine I had sliced off fell to the ground with a gentle thud and wiggled like a worm on a hook. It quickly withered away, and by the time it was gone the plant had already regrown. I sighed.

"Why does all the weird crap happen to me?" I dashed towards the plant, hacking and slashing wildly. Vines and plant flew in all directions as I sliced like a crazed weed wacker. The plant kept growing despite my wild swinging, and soon it was as tall as me. I was trying to get to the head of the plant, but the vines and roots kept getting in the way. It only proved that I needed to strike the jaw of the plant. Then, one of the roots that had slipped behind me wrapped around my waist and lifted me into the air. It slowly pulled me towards the gaping maw as more vines and roots wrapped around me, binding my arms to my body, causing my sword to cut my left arm slightly. "For some reason, I just can't bring myself to be afraid of the imminent death." The vines, as it turned out, were covered in small thorns. The tendrils wrapped around my upper body twisted and writhed around me, slicing me repeatedly and causing blood to pour out of my from inbetween the bindings of the plant. I was suspended above the plant's jaw now, and my blood fell into it's mouth and it gulped hungrily.

God it was gross.

I twisted against the plant, slicing the plants around my arms with my shark blades. I was driving the Buster sword further into my left arm, and I could feel it cutting into the muscle of my arm. Within seconds, the vines around me snapped away and I plummeted towards the gaping maw of the plant. I ripped the Buster Sword out of my arm and pointed it at the jaw. It snapped shut around me as my blade punged into it. The plant fell with me in it's mouth as we both hit the floor. The plant started quickly wilting around me, and I punched my way out of it's wilting head with my sword. I gasped heavily as I encountered the fresh air outside of the plant's body. I tried to stretch out my arms, but I gasped, dropped my sword, and clutched my left shoulder.

"Oh my son of a..." I cursed under my breath. My arm felt like it was on fire, and I knew what that felt like. I looked at my left shoulder, and it had been split wide open right above my bicep. Blood poured out freely and drenched my arm flowing off my fingers in little rivers. It dripped onto the corpse of the plant. Kind of ironic now that the plant didn't need it. I pushed the cut together to try to stem the blood flow slightly, but there was nothing I could do about the tiny cuts all over my body. I grimaced as I bent down to pick up the Buster Sword and re-strap it to my back.

And I still had to wait another hour to move to the next tower and fight whatever was in there if it wasn't the eggs.

Fun.

I waited by the door at the bottom of the tower that way I could hear the guards when they left. After waiting for what seemed like forever, I heard a tapping of hooves and light scraping of armor as the guards left their positions. I sighed in relief, and after waiting for a few more seconds to ensure they had all passed. As soon as I felt the coast was clear, I pushed the broken half of the door out, then turned around and replaced it before taking off to the next tower. At this one, I sliced the door in half with the Buster Sword, making next to no noise with the eveness of the cut. I gently edged the half of the door out of my way, then replaced it. I crept slowly up the stairs, desperate to not alert whatever guard there may be to my presence. When I got to the top of the steps, I saw a large white stallion staring intently at a pile of dragon eggs.

Score! I thought to myself.

"Why do we take these?" The guard was mumbling to himself. I started creeping up behind him. "It doesn't sit right with me... maybe I should bring it up with Celestia..." I was feeling really bad about having to beat this guard, but I knew it had to be done. I raised the Buster sword so that the dull edge of the blade was above him. "No, get ahold of yourself Rhino. The captain of the Celestial knights never questions the princesses... I sense an intruder..." He started to turn, and I brought the edge of my blade down on his helment.

*TING* *THUD* The guard fell over on the ground, out cold.

"Man, I'm a horrible person. Hey... let's shave him..." I looked at the pile of eggs, then I realized something. There were sixteen eggs, all of them roughly as big as a filly or colt. I had one functioning arm and nothing to carry them in. "Oh crap. Brilliant planning genius." I looked around quickly for anything to hold the eggs in, but the only things in the room were me, the eggs, and the unconscious unicorn...

Wait! Unicorn! I sat down next to the downed guard and started focusing my void on his magic. It flowed slowly, but I still had two more watch switches, so I wasn't worried.

One watch switch and two more blows to the guard's head later, I had finally fully absorbed his magic. I wrapped his aura around the eggs and lifted them up. Luckily, it was just like lifting one egg, so it wasn't that difficult. I waited by the door for the sound of the guards moving, and soon the telltale jangle of armor met my ears. The last watch switch was now. I had to go. After the last of the sounds faded, I pushed the half of the door out, not caring about leaving it there this time. It landed in the snow with a soft thud, then I was on my way. The aura around the eggs was giving off a faint light, which only made me more worried about being caught. Not only that, but without being near the guard, my connection to his magic was slowly fading. I looked around quickly for an escape, but there was only the main castle, the other two towers, and the wall surrounding the castle. I sighed heavily. Nothing was going my way so far. Then, I had another idea. I ran over to the wall and levitated one of the eggs about a foot off the ground in front of me. I placed one foot on it tenatively, but no matter how much weight I put on it, it held it's position.

"Perfect!" I levitated the eggs in front of me like a staircase leading up the wall. I ran up the egg stairs until I reached the top of the wall. I levitated them all back up to me and took off towards the main gates, planning to jump off next to them. It was really the only place where I could jump off. The only other option was off the wall and down the mountain. Luckily, nopony saw me running along the top of the wall, and I made it near the gate unnoticed. I turned to the outside of the wall, and leapt down to the ground. I grimaced and hissed through my teeth gently in pain, but I was able to stand up and carry on. I levitated the eggs down to me, then started walking off towards the entrance to Canterlot Castle. Just a short distance away, Esmerelda was waiting near the gate like I had asked when she first dropped me off. Luckily for me, she had found a shadowy spot near where I had dropped and fallen asleep. I crept up to her mouth and pushed on her nose a few times. Her eyes fluttered open heavily, and she gave me a sleepy smile.

"Oh, hi Sharky... *Yawn* You sure took a long time to get back... why do you have a horn?"

"Oh, because this." I levitated the eggs up to her eyes. Her eyes flew wide open and she sat up quickly.

"Celestia gave them to you?! How--"

"Shhh!!!" I warned. She clamped her mouth shut I waved her towards me, and she lowered her head down to me.

"Not quite, Celestia asked me to steal them." Esmerelda gasped. "Calm! Calm! Nopony knows I have these, and it's only a matter of time before they discover the broken door. You need to help me get these out of here now." Esmerelda nodded nervously. I put the eggs on the ground, and Esmerelda stood to her full height. She grabbed me and lifted me to her neck. I sat down comfortably and she flapped gently to get a few feet off the ground. She grabbed four of the eggs in each of her talons, then we were soaring quickly away from the castle. She took off to the west.

"Sharky, what's dripping on my neck?"

"Oh, I've got a ton of blood dripping from a gaping wound on my shoulder. It's nothing Esmerelda... No big deal, just something I'll get fixed in Ponyville."

"Are you ok?! Let me see your injury!" She tried to crane her neck to look at me. I wobbled and was almost thrown off balance because I was only using one arm to keep steady.

"No! Don't do that! I'm gonna fall!" Her neck snapped back forward. "I didn't say I was injured!"

"Oh, sorry Sharky.... Steven told me... Thank you for doing this for me... though you'll have to explain Celestia asking you to steal from her..."

"Right, well you see, Celestia needs to take the eggs to keep from looking like a weak ruler. If she were to stop, some of her enemies would think she's weak and start a war."

"That doesn't explain why she asked you to steal them..."

"Well, you see, Celestia hates taking them. I'm the first one that confronted her about it, and likely the only one that could even pull off the theft."

"Oh, that crafty old alicorn... She problably had that planned from the moment of the egg delivery..."

"Yeah, I think she said something like that... Anyway... I'm... feeling kinda dizzy... I'm going to rest now..." The world was turning slightly fuzzy through my vision.

"Sharky? Sharky! Don't fall off!" I had started to lean to the right, but at Esmerelda's call I sat back up quickly.

"Ugh... Esmerelda... I... I need to get to Ponyville fast..." Esmerelda nodded and increased her flapping speed.

I could only hope it would be enough.

Survive

"Sharky! Stay with me!"

"Huh? Oh... Esmerelda... I'm so sleepy... How long until Ponyville?"

"We're almost there! Hold on!" I was leaning heavily on my right arm, fading fast and the world was going black at the edges of my vision. I had lost all sensation of the wind rushing past me, and time seemed to pass slowly as my lifeblood left me. Esmerelda's scales beneath me were completely red. Not a glimmer of her blue scales were visible through my blood for at least a foot in every direction.

"Hold on... right..." I managed to get my eyes to focus on the neck spike in front of me, and I tightened my grip on it. "Esmerelda... I... I think I have an idea..."

"What? What is it?"

"I need you to land for a second..." Esmerelda started a gentle decent towards the ground. Soon she set down the eggs gently, and we landed. I fell sideways off her neck. We had settled down in a plain grassy field covered in snow. I couldn't see very far with my hazed vision, but there appeared to be nothing more than the occasional tree, snow, and grass in any given direction.

"Oh... you don't look so good... let's hurry this up and get you some help..." Esmerelda sounded very worried. I was too.

"Ok... I need you... to breathe fire on me..."

"WHAT?!"

"It'll stop bleeding... I'll live.. don't worry..."

"I'm already worried! Are you insane?!"

"Yes. Breathe now..."

"I... I can't! I don't want to hurt you!"

"If you don't, I die... Please..." Esmerelda shuffled nervously. Most likely having an internal conflict. After a few seconds, she sighed heavily.

"I'm so sorry..." She let loose a small blast of flame at me, scalding the cuts and melting the snow around me, but the fire stopped shortly after I let out a small scream. "Sharky?! Sharky, are you ok?! I'm hurting you! I can't do this!"

"No! No, I was getting better!" The fire had shaken me out of my dazed state. "Keep going! I'm still bleeding." Esmerelda squeezed her eyes shut, and let another blast of flame out at me. I managed to keep from screaming as the flames engulfed me, and soon all my wounds had been burnt to the point where blood could no longer leave my body. Esmerelda kept going for a few seconds longer than necessary, but she stopped soon. I groaned in pain, but pain was still better than the nothing I had been feeling a few minutes ago. Esmerelda's eyes were still squeezed shut.

"A-are y-you ok n-now?" Her voice was shakey. She clearly was upset by what she had done.

"I... I'm fine..." I grunted slowly. My whole body ached from the flame, but I was alive. "I'm going to live... I just need to get healed now..." I tried to push myself up off the ground, but my left arm didn't work and my right gave out from pain.

"Oh nooo.... I really hurt you sharky..." Esmerelda cooed sadly. She gingerly picked me up in her foretalon and held me next to her face. "Do you think you can still hold on?"

"Yeah... I'll be fine. I can't fucking believe you just did that. Hurry up and get us to Ponyville! I hate everyone there, but it's better than dying!" Esmerelda flinched.

"I'm trying my best... I don't like that Steven... he's mean to me..."

"He's mean to everypony... Now uh... I'm still in excruciating pain from that fire. Can we leave now?" Esmerelda let out a whine.

"Ohhh... I did hurt you... I'm horrible..." She lifted me up and placed me on her back. I managed to try to pat her soothingly.

"No... You just saved my life... Let's move, please... I think I'm going to pass out..." The world was spinning. Even though I wasn't bleeding any more, I still had lost a lot of blood.

"Don't do that! I can't fly you anywhere if you're not able to hold on!"

"Right... I think I'll be fine for now... I'll warn you if I think I'm gonna pass out." My blood loss was beginning to take back over from the shock of the fire. Esmerelda sighed and flapped to hover slightly over the ground. She grabbed all the eggs again, and we were off.

Within minutes, we were over Ponyville. It was still the dead of night, and we had almost missed it in the dark. I didn't want to risk scaring anypony, so I asked Esmerelda to land near the back of the Apple's orchards. She placed the eggs careful on the ground, then settled down right at the edge of the large orchards. She lowered her neck, and I managed to half stumble, half fall off her neck and faceplant into the snow. I rolled over onto my back.

"Oh my... Are you sure you don't want me to fly you closer? You really look hurt..." Esmerelda sounded really concerned for me, but I didn't want her to worry.

"Esmerelda, I've died twice already, I'll be just fine this time too. Now... You need a place to stay..." Esmerelda made a few uneasy whining noises in her throat, but didn't openly complain. "There, you see that moutain over-- Oh god!" A large furry lump jumped onto my chest. I was startled for a few seconds, until I realized it was Fang.

"No! You can't hurt my friend!" Esmerelda plucked Fang off my chest, and looked like she was about to throw him away.

"No! He's not hurting me! That's my pet I told you about!" Esmerelda halted and looked closely at the wolf she was holding.

"Ohhh... so this is... Fang right? Well... sorry Fang..." She placed him back down and he threw her a happy yip, as if he hadn't just been about to die. He rushed back to me and started licking my face.

"Heh heh, yeah, this is Fang. Hey boy! How ya doin'?" He barked at me and kept licking my face. "Ok, ok I get it. You missed me. GAH disgusting slobbery mongrel!"

"Aww... He really loves you..."

"Yeah... I missed you buddy..." I tried to reach up to pat his head, but my left arm wouldn't move, reminding me of my current situation. "Oh geez... I need to get that potion now..." I kept my voice low in order to not further worry Esmerelda. "Uhh... Hey, you see that moutain Esmerelda?" I pointed to the mountain from the Dragonshy episode.

"Which one?"

"I don't know! Maybe the one I'm fucking pointing at dumbass! That one, right there." Esmerelda flinched.

"Right, I see..."

"There should be a cave just perfect for a dragon in it! You can take the eggs there and take care of them." Esmerelda gave me a shocked look.

"Y-you think I'm fit to take care of them?"

"Of course! You're one of the few nice dragons, right? Maybe if you raise them, they'll be nice too!" Esmerelda seemed to think for a moment.

"M-maybe y-you're right... but... I don't know how to take care of babies..."

"Oh! It's easy! Just ask me if you need any help!"

"Really? You would help me?"

"Of course! What are friends for? Just uhh... Don't come here to me. You'll scare everypony spitless..." Esmerelda looked crestfallen.

"You're right... I guess I forgot I'm still a monster..."

"No! You're not a monster! You just... you happen to... look like a monster? I'm not really helping..." Esmerelda sighed.

"Well... thanks for trying..." She sniffled.

"Well... I look like a monster too. Look at me! They accepted me, and with time I'm sure they'll accept you too!"

"No... no, I don't think they will... Our two species have been divided by war... They won't accept me for a long, long time..."

"Well, you've got a long, long time to spare! Dragons live for longer than anypony! Other than Celestia and Luna of course... Point is, they'll welcome you eventually! I'll help! I'm kinda famous... Maybe if I spread the word about you being nice, they'll welcome you really fast!" Esmerelda seemed to perk up a little.

"You can do that?"

"Of course! In the meantime... Just uhh... send out a smoke cloud if you need me ok?" She nodded.

"I think I can do that... Will... Will you come by and visit sometimes? Just to... I don't know... talk?"

"I can do better than that!" I winced as I reached into my pouch and pulled out my phone. "This thing will shoot out a blue light at you ok? After that, I'll be able to talk to you whenever I want!"

"Really?! That's fantastic!"

"Phone, add Esmerelda to my contact list please!" A blew light flew out of my phone and enveloped Esmerelda. Just as quickly as it appeared, it faded and a button for Esmerelda popped up on my contacts list. "There, now I can call you."

"Great! So... I guess... this is goodbye for now..."

"Yeah... I'll see you again soon I'm sure. Bye Esmerelda..."

"... Bye Sharky..." With that, Esmerelda took to the air with a sad beat of her wings. She grabbed the eggs, sent me one last sad look, then flew off. As soon as she was gone, I tried to sit up.

"Grrr... I need to get to Shadow..." I was able to sit up halfway, but I couldn't force myself up any farther. Fang seemed to suddenly realize howhurt I was. He whimpered with concern, then pressed himself up against my back. I was able to sit up with his help. "Thanks boy..." I leaned heavily on my right arm, and with some effort I managed to stumble to my feet. "Whew..." I groaned deeply and made a vow to not get this hurt again. I stumbled to the nearest tree and leaned on it, Fang followed me, supporting me when I stumbled. "Such a good boy..." With his and the tree's help, I eventually managed to stumble all the way to the Apple's house. I collapsed on their porch. "No... that's just not fair..." Their door was just out of reach, and I no longer had the strength to pull myself forward or even yell. Then, Fang started barking like his life depended on it. Within seconds, a light flickered on in the house, and I heard hoofsteps inside. The door flew open to reveal a sleepy Applejack. Her mane and tail were untied and wild. She squinted into the night and didn't seem to notice me at her hooves.

"What in tarnation... Fang! What're ya doin here at this hour?!" Fang kept barking like a crazed dog, he started guesturing at me with his head, but Applejack didn't look down at me. "Fang! Cut that racket out right now! Mah family's tryin ta--" She took a step forward right onto my back. She slowly looked down at me.

"Hi..." I muttered lightly. My voice wasn't working with me and I couldn't speak louder than a whisper. Applejack gasped and jumped away from me.

"Sharky?! W-what the buck are ya doin' here?!" She leaned forward and got a better look at me when I didn't respond. She gasped again. "What happened to ya?! T-that's gotta be the deepest cut Ah've ever seen!"

"Shadow..." Applejack jumped again.

"Oh, Ah'm on it! Shadow!!" She ran back into the house, leaving me laying on her porch. I could hear some rushed talking inside the house, but I couldn't focus much at all. I had been through more on this day than ever before. My body was physically incapable of going on, and I could feel myself falling asleep. I welcomed the oncoming rest, knowing I would live. I fell asleep before Applejack even came back.

"Sharky? Sharky are you awake yet?"

"Ughhh... W-what?" I grumbled as I started waking up. I blinked hazily a few times. The world slowly came into focus. I was crammed into a small bed next to a table with a bunch of test tubes on it. A small star bear was curled up on the floor next to my bed with Fang. Shadow was standing next to me by the table. He looked worried. "Hi Shadow... What time is it?"

"Oh good! For a while there I was worried you'd be asleep forever!" He beamed at me. I frowned.

"Forever? How long have I been out?" He fluffed his wings nervously.

"Well... You see, I had to make you an extra strong healing potion..."

"Annnnddd?"

"It has some... severe side-effects having to do with sleep..."

"... Hey, just woke up. What'd I miss? What does that mean Shadow?" I was worried now.

"Well... You've been asleep for four and a half days..."

January, Thursday 31st

"THE HELL?!" I sat bolt upright in the bed. My arm was totally healed, leaving only a faint scar as evidence of it's existance. The small scars all over my body wre gone without a trace. "What did I miss?!" Shadow flinched and backed up a little.

"Uhh... I think everypony is finishing wrapping up winter right n--" Before he had finished his sentence, I leapt up and dashed out the door.

Well, sorry to take so dang long! Finals really F***ed up my writing schedule. Now, I know the timing for the Wrap up is a little akward, but I'm making it before Hearts & Hooves day because there's no snow on the ground in that episode. Well, I'm out. Thanks for being so patient!

Question

"Hey! Wait up!" Shadow and Fang dashed out of the house after me. All of my wounds were completely gone, and I felt freaking fantastic. "Slow down!"

"How about you speed up or leave me the fuck alone?!" Shadow snorted behind me. He flared out his wings and flapped them to gain some speed. Soon, he had passed me.

"How about you speed up Steven? Sorry Sharky!" I laughed. I tensed my back a little to check something. Eeyup, Shadow had been next to me long enough for me to copy his wings. I flared them out and flapped to speed myself up as well.

"Here we go!" I was now neck and neck with Shadow, but I pulled to a sudden stop. Shadow rocketed past me. He seemed to notice I wasn't next to him after a few seconds, and he quickly jumped into the air and turned back to me.

"Hey! Why'd you stop?"

"There's no snow!" I guestured to the grassy land around us. It was starting to get dark out, and it appeared as if all the winter wrap up chores were done.

"Yeah... I thought they might be done. Why does it matter so much to you?"

"I wanted to help..."

"Do you even know what winter wrap up is?"

"Huh? Of course I do!"

"How? I thought you were supposed to be from another world or something..."

"Oh uh... Twilight told me about all the celebrations and stuff..."

"Oh, that makes sense. Well, maybe we can still find something... come with me." He started trotting off in the direction of the town.

"Sure! Hey... Thanks for taking care of me while I was hurt..." Shadow slowed to a stop and sighed. He turned back to me.

"Stop being hurt... Please... Also, it wouldn't kill you to visit me when you aren't hurt or need my help..." I flinched.

"I'm sorry Shadow... I really want to spend more time with you, but I've got so many responsibilities now. Unity, my job, my speech lessons with Luna, and I need to spend time with all my other friends too... I still need to take Rarity out to dinner..." Shadow nodded somberly.

"I understand... just... promise you'll get less hurt? You and Applejack are all I have..." I raised my eyebrow.

"Oh, me and Applejack huh? Lemme hear about that." Shadow blushed.

"I-it's nothing..."

"It doesn't sound like nothing."

"J-just forget I s-said anything. A-anyway... Oh yeah! Rarity! That reminds me, all your friends wanted to see you when you woke up!"

"Hmm? Then why weren't they there?"

"They were kinda forced to leave to help with winter wrap up. They said they'd be back as soon as they were done... but..."

"But what?"

"I dunno... Twilight, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy sounded especially mad at you..."

"Oh crud... No way in hell I'm dealin' with that!" I thought for a moment. "Hey, how about we do some of that hanging out I owe you? I don't think I'm needed anywhere else right now, and it'll be a whole lot more fun than being yelled at. Wait! Did you say Twilight? She's back already?"

"Yeah! I'd love to finally get to hang out! Oh, and uhh... Twilight said she got into a fight with somepony. She didn't say anything else though..."

"She got in a fight?! Is she hurt?! Oh... She got into a fight with... hehe, that's rich! Ironic considering the guy she fought for will never notice her..."

"No, she's not hurt, it was an argument fight I think... Steven, what are you talking about?"

"Your brother is dead. Don't talk to Steven directly! I bet your parents are dead too!" Shadow's eyes filled with tears.

"D-don't remind me... I k-know what I've lost!"

"Ha! All your family's dead! Da na na na na Sha-dow! Oh geez! He's being mean again isn't he? See? This is what happens when you speak to him directly!"

"I know my f-family's dead!" Tears were falling down Shadow's face. "S-stop talking about it!" Clearly he wasn't listening to the 'no talking to Steven' rule. I knealt down and wrapped him in a hug.

"Calm down. It's ok... Dead family. Ignore whatever Steven says..." I pushed him away slightly and looked into his teary eyes. "Look, I've lost my family too, remember?" He nodded sadly. "But I've got new family now... You, Unity, Fang..." Fang nuzzled Shadow's side as if to prove a point. "And all my other friends too! Sure... I miss my other family." Shadow choked on a sob. "I know it hurts that they're gone, but look at what you have now. Don't let Steven get to you. As long s you have friends, you'll never really be without family. Got it bro?"

"Y-you're right..." He sniffled a few more times then wiped his eyes with a fore hoof. "S-sorry to b-break down on you like that... Normally I'm so busy that I don't have time to think about my family..."

"I know what you mean. I've been so busy since I've come here that I haven't had time to think about much at a--"

"Sharky!!!" I turned to see who was yelling at me, and I saw an angry-looking RD soaring towards me.

"Oh hey RD! We should run."

"Wow, she looks mad..."

"Yeah, I thought so too... Well, maybe she just wants to tal--"

"I'm gonna kill you!"

"Well, I think this would be a good time to... not be here. C'mon Shadow!" I grabbed Shadow and turned to the orchards. Fang was by my side the moment I started moving.

"Good idea!" I risked a quick look over my shoulder as I headed for the woods full-tilt. RD had levelled out about five feet above the ground and was rapidly gaining on me.

"Fang! Think you can slow her down?" Fang nodded at me silently, then skidded to a halt. He turned towards RD, and right as she was about to pass him, he leapt into her charge. She smacked into him, knocking them both out of the air and into a rough landing. RD sat where she landed, momentarily dazed, but Fang sprang back to his paws and took off after me. "Good boy!" I cheered him as he caught back up with me. We disappeared into the trees before RD recovered.

"SHARKY!!!"

"Wow she sounds mad. Don't you think it would have been better to just talk to her?" I looked down at Shadow in my arms and shrugged.

"Maybe, but this is more fun!"

"You're crazy. You know that, right?"

"Yes. So, what do you want to do first?" I reached a section of the trees where the branches overhead were particularly thick overhead. I stopped and placed Shadow back on the ground.

"Uhh... I dunno..."

"Hey, why don't you show me how you take care of the trees? I've been wondering how you do that." Shadow threw me a wide grin.

"Sure! Lets just... wait for a while to make sure it's safe. Then we can go get a few potions from the house!"

"Sweet! Sooo... How long do we wait?"

"Sharky!!! I will find you!" RD cried from above the trees.

"I think we're gonna be here awhile... Great. Stuck in the woods with you losers."

"Ok... So which potion is this one again?" Shadow, Fang, and I had waited in the orchards for at least an hour before we had stopped hearing angry comments from RD and decided it was safe. I held up a brownish-green potion to Shadow. Apparently the magic elixer was only one step in the tree revitalizing process.

"That's the nutrients. You inject that one right into the roots to make the tree stronger." I picked up a little syringe we had brought with us and filled it with the liquid.

"Ok, so which root?" I held the point of the syringe over the exposed roots of the tree.

"It doesn't really matter, but make sure you choose a nice, thick one."

"That's what she said. Ok, got it." I adjusted my squatting position so that I was standing over the biggest root above ground. I slowly pushed the needle into the root.

"Ah! Careful! You need to be gentle when you inject the nutrients! You don't want to injure the roots."

"Alright, geez... OCD. Just a bit OCD." I pressed the needle further into the root very slowly. After Shadow deemed it fit, I pushed the contents of the syringe into the root. "Ok. So, is this good?"

"Perfect. Now just remove the needle, slowly." I rolled my eyes and pulled the needle out with the speed of an iceberg.

"There, that good enoug-- Ow!" An apple fell out of the tree and hit me in the head as I talked. Shadow tilted his head at me.

"That hurt?"

"Not really, just a reaction. Anyway, how many more potions other than this one?" Shadow grabbed the apple next to me with his mouth then placed it in his saddlebag.

"Just about three more."

"Holy cow! How often do you do this for the trees?!"

"I give them routine potion restorations to ensure the maximum health in each tree. About once every three days. By the time I finish the last checkup, three days have usually passed and I need to start again."

"Geez, you really do work hard don'cha? Well, which potion is next?" He dipped his head into his pouch again and came back up with a vial filled with red liquid. I took it out of his mouth so he could speak.

"This one causes the trees to produce insect-repelling chemicals in their roots. You don't have to inject this one, just pour it near the roots."

"Sweet. Here we go..." I popped the cork out of the vial and tipped the bottle over very carefully so that the liquid started dripping out of it. Shadow rolled his eyes and tipped my hand so that the vial's contents all spilled out at once.

"C'mon not everything is gentle in this process. I said to pour it, not drip it like it's going to explode."

"Right, sorry. I'm just trying to be careful." Shadow gave a short laugh.

"Blade said the same thing... You remind me a lot of him you know."

"Glad I remind you of a dead pony. Well... thanks I guess..."

"Yeah, it's a compliment. Anyway, next we have the insect repellent that takes place in the leaves. This one is a bit more difficult... I think you're too big to do this..."

"That's what she said! Man, I'm on a roll. Really? What do you have to do?"

"Well, for this one--" He pulled another vial out of his bag. This one was filled with purplish liquid. I placed the empty vial back in his bag and pulled the new one out of his mouth. "Has to be injected right into the middle of all the braches. I think you're too big for this part of the job."

"Fair point. Do you need this in the syringe?"

"Yes, hence the word 'inject'."

"Pfft... Sarcastic much..." I popped the cork out of the new vial and filled the syringe. I handed it back to Shadow. "Here ya go." He took the syringe in his mouth and flapped gently into the tree leaves. I looked up at him, quickly losing sight of him amongst the leaves. I absent-mindedly scratched Fang's head as I waited. Then, Fang suddenly sat bolt upright beside me. His ears perked up and he let out a low whimper. "What? What is it Fang?" He squirmed around beside me and got to his paws, but he didn't see what happened to me. All of the sudden, I felt something wrap around my waist. The force whipped me backward, pulling me deeper into the orchards. Fang, who had been looking in the opposite direction that I vanished, didn't notice me. I was too shocked to scream, and I flew back about 40 feet before the force released me, sending me sliding along to a rough stop. I rolled a few times, and ended up lying on my back staring up at the tree tops.

"Good! I got you!" A familiar voice came from my left. I turned my head, and Twilight was standing there. She didn't look happy.

"H-hi Twilight... H-how'd y-you find m-me?"

"I scried for you! Sharky you idiot!" She ran over to me and jumped on my chest. "You got hurt again! How?! You were in Canterlot! You were supposed to be safe!"

"Uh... y-yeah... I had to... pick up some eggs..." Then I noticed that Twilight was crying.

"Don't lie to me! 'Picking up eggs'... Do you know how worried I was for you?! Don't scare me like that Sharky!" I quickly stretched out my arms to get around to her back, then pulled her down to my chest for a hug.

"I'm sorry Twilight. You know I don't mean to scare you..." I could feel her tears on my chest.

"I... I... I want so bad to be mad at you right now... but I'm just so happy you're alive..." Twilight reached her forehooves around my chest and hugged me back. I moved my right hand up to her mane and stroked it comfortingly.

"I'm very sorry Twilight..." She lifted her head off my chest and looked into my eyes.

"I... I can't accept your apology because I know you'll scare me again..." She sighed deeply. "Look, come with me. The others will want to know you're safe..."

"... And yell at me right?"

"Most likely..."

"Stupendous. Lemme get Fang and say bye to Shadow." Twilight nodded affirmatively and I gently removed her from my chest and placed her on the ground. I quickly ran back the way Twilight had pulled me. Fang was sniffing the ground and heading towards me. "Hey boy! Comin' to look for me? Stalker. Maybe just a needy little bitch." He nodded and panted at me. "Good, we'll be leaving in just a second, so stay with me ok?" He nodded.

"Hey! Where'd you two go?!" I heard Shadow yell up ahead. I jogged towards his voice and found him at the base of the tree we had been working on.

"Hi Shadow! Sorry, I just kinda got abducted by Twilight. I have to go and tell my other friends that I'm ok. Do you mind if we finish this lesson later?"

"Not a problem. To be honest, teaching you was slowing me down. I need to get back on schedule now. We should hang out again soon though, ok?"

"You got it! Bye!" I waved at him turned to leave. Then I turned back to him.

"Hey, did Luna call me while I was out?"

"Uhh... No. Why?"

"That's odd... Did she send a bag full of bits?"

"Yeah, Twilight took it back to the library for you."

"Ok, thanks bro. Bye!" This time I turned and started jogging back to Twilight. "Ok. I'm back. Say, why are you back from Canterlot already? Shadow told me that you had been in a fight." Twilight had been sitting exactly where I left her. She leapt to her hooves when she saw me, and flinched when I asked her my question.

"Yeah... I had a little fight... It was an argument really."

"With who?"

"Nopony you need to be concerned about..." I was really curious, but I decided to respect Twilight's privacy. About this time I realized how dark it was outside.

"Ok Twilight, I understand. Well, it's getting really dark... do you wanna save seeing the others for tomorrow?" Twilight nodded happily. "Good. Well, let's get you home... Is Unity at the library?" Twilight shook her head.

"No. He was staying with Fluttershy while you and I were gone, and he's still there now."

"Well... I want to see him... but it's so late by now he's most likely asleep... I'll go get him tomorrow. Let's go home." Twilight smiled at me and nodded.

"I'd like that." Twilight and I turned to walk out of the orchards and headed home. When we reached the door, Twilight turned around and stood in front of the door. "Ok now, close your eyes!"

"Why?"

"I've got a suprise for you~!" She sang. I frowned.

"It's not a party is it?" She frowned.

"Nooo... Why?"

"Cause I hate parties."

"Well... That's news to me... Doesn't matter, it's not a party."

"Ok, I trust you." I closed my eyes tightly. Twilight giggled and I could hear the door open in front of me. She nuzzled my hand up onto her head.

"Here, follow me." I nodded and followed the feel of Twilight's head as she led me into the house. She led me up the stairs. I kicked the bottom step and stumbled, but I didn't fall. Twilight giggled again. "Oops, sorry!" I made it up the stairs and into the bedroom without further incident. I could hear Spike softly snoring off to my left. Twilight pulled me a little further forward, then stopped. "Ok, you can open your eyes now!" I opened my eyes, and on the ledge the held Twilight's bed, there was a huge new bed.

"Whoa! Twilight, did you get this for me?!"

"Of course I did! Do you like it?"

"No! It's horrible. No! I don't want you spending money on me!" Twilight's smile broadened.

"I didn't! I used some of the money from your last hunt! I just saved you a shopping trip!" Now a broad grin crossed my face.

"You did?! Awww! Thanks Twilight!" I climbed the little ledge and jumped into my bed. It had gray blankets and white sheets. There were only two, large, white, fluffy pillows. I laid down on top of the blankets, and the bed was just long enough for me. For the first time, I didn't have to bunch up my legs to sleep! "Wow! This is perfect! Thanks Twilight!" Twilight yawned.

"You're welcome Sharky... Wow, I'm tired..."

"You are? Get some sleep then." I climbed out of my bed. "I've been sleeping for the past four days, so I think I'm gonna stay up for a while before I sleep..."

"Ok... Well..." I leapt out of my bed and jumped down the ledge. I picked up Twilight in a hug.

"Thanks Twilight... This is really cool." Twilight sighed into my right shoulder.

"You're welcome..." I climbed back up the ledge and carried Twilight to her bed. I set her down and tucked her in. Then I bent down and kissed her forehead goodnight.

"Sweet dreams buddy." Twilight closed her eyes and frowned.

"Goodnight." She sounded angry, and she rolled onto her side to face away from me. I tilted my head in confusion at her, then shrugged and went back to my bed. I laid down and sighed in content. Fang bounded up the ledge and jumped into my bed. He curled up next to my feet. I smiled happily. As far as I was concerned, everything was right. However, as the night went on, I began to realize how empty my bed felt without somepony beside me. Then I realized I was thinking somepony rather than someone. Eventually, I fell into an uneasy, lonely sleep.

February, Friday 1st

Twilight yawned and stretched awake.

"Hi Twilight..."

"Gah! Sharky! You're awake!"

"Eeyup... Twilight, I realized something..."

"Hmm? What?"

"I want a marefriend." Twilight sat bolt upright in her bed and stared at me intently.

"Go on!"

"You see, I feel like it's time for me to move on from my old life fully, and a new relationship is the perfect way to do that."

"Keep talking..."

"Also I feel I need to kind of jumpstart my acceptance of this world by starting a relationship with one of it's female inhabitants."

"Get on with it!"

"Geez! Ok! Twilight... I need to ask you a question..."

Practice

"...Nevermind, this is awkward..." I changed my mind right before I asked Twilight my question.

"No no! Ask me! Ask me now!"

"Nah, it'd be weird."

"No it won't! Please, just ask!"

"Ok... Twilight... Will you go out with me?"

"R-really?!"

"Yeah..." Twilight bounced off her bed and hug-tackled me.

"YES! Yes, a million times yes!"

"Really? Fantastic! I could use the practice!"

"Just wait until I t-- Did you just say practice?"

"Yeah, a practice date! I've been out of the game for awhile... Thanks for helping me!" Twilight released me and slowly backed off of my bed. She sat down on the floor next to my bed and gave me a look of disbelief.

"P-p-practice?"

"Uhh... Yeah. Thank you for helping me. You're a great friend!" Twilight slowly scooted backward and away from me.

"F-friend... is that all I am?" I frowned.

"Well, I guess best friend... is that what you mean?" Twilight's eyes filled with water.

"N-no... No... I-it's not possible..." I stood up out of my bed and walked towards her.

"Twilight? What's wrong?" I leaned down to hug her, but she stopped me with a forehoof.

"N-no! D-don't hold me... It hurts..."

"I hurt you when I hold you? Am I too rough?"

"No! It's perfect! That's the problem!" My frown deepened.

"Twilight? You ok? You're acting very strange all of the sudden..."

"J-just... go..." I tilted my head at her in confusion.

"Go? Go where?" Twilight looked up at me with tears in her eyes.

"... Just... go away from me... please..." I frowned and flinched back.

"Y... you don't want me here?"

"No! Just go! Please..." Twilight gave me a feeble push with a shakey forehoof. I could feel a small pain near my heart.

"W.. what d-did I do?"

"It's not what you do! It's what you don't do! Leave! Go now!" This time Twilight gave me a more forceful shove with magic. I could feel sadness creep up on me. The same kind of sadness that I had only felt once before, though much stronger than this time.

"Leave... leave... Yes. Ok... if that's what you want." With that, I stood up and walked out. I left the bedroom, I left the library, I left the outskirts of Ponyville. I walked right to Fluttershy's house. I was so numb that I didn't even notice Fang trotting beside me the whole way. I literally walked into Fluttershy's door before I realized where I was. I slowly knocked.

"Coming!" I heard Fluttershy yell from inside. I nodded in response, not realizing that she wouldn't see me.

"Damn, that was fucking hilarious!!! Hahahaha!" Fluttershy soon opened the door. She had Unity on her back, and she gasped when she saw me. As soon as she saw me, she hid her face partially in her mane like always.

"S-sharky! You're ok!" I nodded slowly.

"Can I come in?"

"Oh! O-of course!" She side stepped out of the doorway and I walked in. I sat down in a corner next to the door.

"Can I see Unity?" She shut the door and trotted over to me. I took Unity off of her back and cradled him in my arms. He was still asleep, and see-through. It didn't bother me. I took off his little stocking cap to reveal his horns and mane. Then I removed his socks and tail covering. "There, now you look like yourself." Fluttershy curled up next to me.

"Thank Celestia you're ok..." Fluttershy mumbled, reminding me about my near death earlier.

"Yes, yes I am. I'd be better if I didn't have to spend time with you."

"Y-you really scared me Sharky..."

"Sorry." I spoke distantly. I still wasn't sure what had gone wrong with Twilight. I sure wasn't feeling good about making her so upset though. Fluttershy gave me a confused look.

"Y-you don't... sound sorry... I-if you don't m-mind me saying so..."

"..."

"Sharky?" Fluttershy waved a hoof in front of my eyes. I blinked a few times.

"Hmm? What?" Fluttershy stood up and moved in front of me.

"Sharky? What's wrong?"

"..." Fluttershy slowly moved a forehoof forward. She nervously tipped my head up to look into her eyes.

"W-what's wrong? You're acting very strange..." I sighed.

"I dunno Fluttershy... I think I did something bad..." She tilted her head at me.

"W-what?"

"That's just it... I dunno... I just know I did something very bad to Twilight..."

"What happened?" I sighed again and started stoking Unity's mane absentmindedly.

"I asked her out--"

"WHAT?!"

"--on a practice date... Why did you scream?" Fluttershy's cheeks turned bright red and she buried her face in her mane completely.

"Uhh... n-no reason... P-please... go on..." I gave her a curious look, but let it go.

"Well... she started crying... then when I tried to hug her she told me to leave..."

"Oh... whew..." Fluttershy sighed in relief, then looked at me again. She realized how upset I was. "Oh... I'm sorry Sharky..."

"I just don't know what went wrong... I've tried to be a good friend... I really have... Maybe I was asking too much..."

"N-no! I t-think you're doing great... I-in fact... I'd l-love to h-help you..." I sat up abruptly, almost waking Unity.

"What?"

"I s-said... I'd love to help you..." I sat there for a moment before what she had just said truly hit me. I was excited at first, but then I remembered the kiss and the fact that we could only ever be friends. I was about to turn her down, but then a small, greedy part of me told me to take it anyway. I knew it wasn't right to take advantage of my friend's kindness... but I couldn't help it in the end. I sighed grudgingly.

"T-thanks Fluttershy... That's awfully kind of you... now... where should we go for a date and when...?" I mused to myself. "Actually... where am I going to go?! Twilight doesn't want me at the library... That means I don't have a house..."

"Oh... Y-you can s-stay here!" I shook my head.

"No no, you've been far too kind already Fluttershy. I couldn't put you through that trouble."

"Oh no! I-it's no trouble a-at all!" I sighed.

"You know, I really wish you weren't still so afraid of me... Maybe I could stay... if it really isn't too much trouble..." Fluttershy shook her head quickly.

"I-I'm not afraid! R-really! It's r-really n-no trouble."

"Ok... I guess... If you it's no trouble... I'd love to stay here... Thank you Fluttershy, but if you aren't afraid, then why do you still stutter so much and hide your face when you're around me?" Fluttershy slowly peeked out of her mane a little.

"I-is this better?" I sighed again.

"I guess. Thanks again Fluttershy." I reached out with my free arm and hugged her neck. She scooted closer to my side so that I could wrap my arm around her all the way. Then I realized something peculiar about Fluttershy's house.

"Hey Fluttershy?"

"Y-yes Sharky?"

"Why aren't there any little animals in here? You said you took care of them, and winter is over, so where are they?" Fluttershy sat up quickly and started looking around.

"That's s-strange... They were here a minute ago..." Fluttershy moved away from my side and started looking around and under the furniture. "Hello? Come out little ones..." She trotted off into another room. "Oh! Here they are! ... What's that? A monster? Goodness!" I could hear Fluttershy apparently conversing with one of the animals. "Oh! He's not a monster! That's mama's new friend. Come, let me introduce you!" Fluttershy trotted back into the living room. In the doorway she had just passed through, dozens of little heads peeked around the corner. I smiled at them.

"Hi there little guys!" They gave a collective squeak/chirp and vanished back around the corner. "Oh... darn." Fluttershy giggled a little.

"Sorry... They haven't ever seen something like you. T-they'll get used to you soon." I sighed.

"I'm really tired of scaring the crap out of everything I meet. I'm not! Freaking hilarious." Then I remebered something. "Oh, Luna hasn't called me in four days! I need to figure out what's going on!" Fluttershy frowned at me.

"What's wrong with her not calling you?"

"Well she usually has a mission or something for me at least once every two days! I'm just worried something's up." Fluttershy nodded understandingly. I pulled out my phone and hit Luna's call button. She picked up on the fifth ring.

"Hello Luna!" Luna smiled warmly.

"Greetings Sharky, how art thou?"

"I am fantastic! ... Ok, not really. Anyway, I called to ask you a question." Luna nodded.

"Thou may proceed."

"Why haven't you called me for the past four days? I mean, I've been asleep that whole time... but why? Is there something wrong, or am I fired or something" Luna's eyes widened.

"No! We wouldn't simply relieve thee of duty without warning!" I frowned at Luna. She gave me a confused look, then face-hoofed. "I. I meant to say I." I nodded approvingly.

"Good catch. Well, if I'm not fired, why haven't I gotten a mission? At least a call for a speech lesson..."

"You see, Celestia told us about thine... errand. I decided to give thou a break. I hath been working you very hard as it is. There was a note in the pouch from thine last earnings. Did thou not recieve it?"

"Ah, I suppose that makes sense. Thanks for the break, but I'd like to get back to work." I heard Fluttershy gasp.

"Sharky no!" She wailed.

"Yes Fluttershy, you know I have to do this. Now, when can I expect another mission Luna?"

"Actually, thine break is not over for another three days."

"That's well and good, but I'd prefer to get back to fighting for Equestria now. And I want to kill stuff. Nuff said."

"That is admirable of thou, but regardless, thine break is not over for another three days."

"That's fantastic, but I don't need a break and would like a mission."

"Sharky, thou need to rest."

"Look, gimme a mission, or I'll wander around aimlessly until I find a town that needs help." Luna laughed.

"I order thou to finish thine break. Try to have some fun for once Sharky." With that Luna hung up.

"Grahhh!!!" I reared back to throw my phone, but I took a deep breath and placed it back in my pouch instead. "Great, just great..."

"W-what's so b-bad about a break?" Fluttershy mumbled.

"Every miniute I'm not out there, some monster could be attacking and destroying a town! What if Luna's other knights aren't strong enough for something?! Maybe some ursa will go crazy again! Ponies can't handle that!" Fluttershy flinched and cowered on the floor. I took a deep breath and realized I had been yelling. I scooted over to Fluttershy and hugged her shaking form. "I'm sorry... I didn't mean to yell at you..." Unity started crying in my lap. I groaned. "Apparently all I can do today is screw up!" Fang nuzzled my side comfortingly. Fluttershy rubbed herself against my side soothingly.

"I-it's ok Sharky... I... I think I understand... I'm s-sorry things aren't going well today..." I sighed.

"Thanks Fluttershy..." I stroked Unity's mane in order to start quieting him down. Instead, everything got quiet. I could see Fluttershy's mouth moving, but no sound came out. "What?" I asked, not sure what was going on. Fluttershy held a hoof up to her ear, indicating that she couldn't hear me either. "Aww dang it." I looked down to Unity, and he wasn't crying any more. Unfortunately, he seemed to have turned off all sound. "Crap... how do I fix this?" I looked to Fluttershy. I stood up and walked away from her.

"--Going on?" I could hear her as soon as I was about ten steps away from her.

"I don't know! Unity did something." Fluttershy tilted her head at me.

"What?" I sighed and placed Unity down in a nearby chair. I walked back to Fluttershy.

"I think Unity turned off all sound near him. We can't talk near him." Fluttershy opened her mouth to speak, but I cut her off. "Before you ask why or how, remember who he is." She closed her mouth and nodded. "Good. Now, I'm going to go back to the library and collect a few things I'll need to live here... ok?"

"Oh, of c-course! Hurry back!" I nodded. I grabbed Unity, Fang bounded to my side, then I left. I walked straight to the library. As far as I could tell, Unity was still blocking sound. I opened the door. Twilight was waiting for me in the main room.

"Oh! Thank goodness you're back Sharky! Look I--" Twilight trotted towards me as she spoke, but when she got within a few feet of me her voice disappeared. I shook my head at her sadly, then went to the kitchen. Twilight trotted after me, looking very confused. I opened the cabinets the had Unity's bottles. We were running really low by now. I only saw six bottles and one fourth of the bag of powdered chocolate. I grabbed it all in my left arm and started walking out. Twilight looked like she was upset. I didn't want to hurt her, but I figured this was better than hurting her however I was before. Without turning to look back at her, I left the library. I walked to Sweet Apple Acres. Somewhere along the way, I started being able to hear Fang pant. I reached the farm and knocked on the door. Big Mac answered it. I remembered at the last possible moment to hide Unity now that he wasn't disguised. I shifted my arms so that he was concealed by the bottles and chocolate.

"Hello! Is Shadow in?"

"Nnope."

"Well, do you mind if I come in and grab my sword?"

"Nnope."

"Cool." I walked past him and found my way to Shadow's room. I placed Unity on Shadow's bed, then grabbed my sword from a corner and strapped it to my back. I picked up Unity again and left the farm. Within minutes I was back at Fluttershy's house again.

"Hey Fluttershy! I can't knock! Can you let me in?"

"Oh! I'm on my way!" I hear her hooves tapping as she walked towards the door. She pulled it open for me, and I held out Unity for her.

"So sorry, can you hold him while I make him a bottle?"

"S-sure." She took Unity from me and cradled her in her forehooves as I walked to the kitchen. I placed all the bottles on a counter and set to making Unity's breakfast. "S-so what are w-we going to do for a d-date?" I grinned.

"I think I've got a perfect idea!"

Before the Storm

"So, I bet you're all wondering why I brought you here today." Twilight paced in front of the three mares sitting in front of her on the library floor.

"Um... Yes dear, that is exactly what I'm wondering." Rarity confirmed.

"Yeah, what's the big deal Twilight?" Rainbow Dash huffed impatiently. Twilight frowned at her.

"I may be about to hoof all of you the key to Sharky's heart! Please don't rush me!" With this, every gaze in the room (Even Spike who was at the top of the stairs admiring Rarity) locked onto Twilight. Rarity stepped away from the table towards Twilight.

"Dear... even if you could do that... why would you? You want him just as bad as the rest of us..." Twilight's head drooped and she let out a sigh. She lifted her head to look at her friends.

"I... I broke the rules girls..." Rainbow Dash and Rarity gasped.

"Whoa! You broke the rules Twilight?!"

"Oh my... Something will have to be done about this dear..." Twilight held up a hoof defensively.

"In my defense, he uhh... He still didn't get it..."

"... No way... Are you messing with me Twilight?" Rainbow Dash asked skeptically.

"Unfortunately... no. I'm not. Anyway, because I broke the rules, I decided to share my next idea with all of you."

"Well... I suppose that seems fair..." Rarity mused. "What idea did you have?"

"I've been reading this book..." Twilight levitated "101 Tips to Snare that Stallion" off of the table behind her friends and held it in front of them. Rainbow Dash supressed a small laugh.

"Twilight... Mmf... Ha ha... You have got to be the only mare I know... Ha... That would read a book on how to get a g-g-guy Ahahahahaha!" Rainbow Dash fell on her back laughing. A heavy blush covered Twilight's face.

"S-so...." Twilight shook her head. "Anyway... The most recent chapter says to try changing your looks..."

"Ohhhh~! Would you like me to style your mane dearie?!"

"Ummm... no... But, I had an idea... If Sharky can't accept love from us ponies... maybe he can accept it from... other humans!" Everypony gasped. Twilight looked around in confusion for the fourth gasp until she saw Spike at the top of the stairs. "Spike! I told you to stay in your room!" Spike stumbled and fell backward before running into the bedroom and closing the door.

"Whaddya mean 'from another human' Twilight?" Rainbow Dash spoke up. Twilight turned back around to face her friends.

"I mean... I have a spell that can change the apperance of somepony. I used it earlier to turn Sharky into a mouse." Her friends frowned at her. "With his permission!" Her friends relaxed again. "Anyway, my theory is this; Sharky seems to be unable to psychologically accept that we like him because we are a different species. However, if we are humans like him, there's no way he'll be able to deny us!"

"That... sounds risky dear... Are you certain this would work?" Rarity asked cautiously. There was a glimmer in Twilight's eyes that could only be described as crazy.

"It has to! There's no other way! We've tried everything else!" Rainbow Dash held up a hoof.

"Whoa whoa, calm down Twilight. I'm willing to try this... but... what will it be like?" Twilight paused for a moment.

"I... I don't know. I couldn't tell you what it'll be like to be human... I can tell you that if you don't like it, I can change you back at any time." Fluttershy looked at her hooves for a few more seconds before locking her eyes on Twilight and stepping forward.

"I'm doing it. I'm not going to let Sharky go!" Fluttershy said determinedly.

"I'm in as well. I need an upper hoof to attract Sharky's attention anyway." Rarity agreed. Rainbow Dash backed up a little and looked at her hooves.

"I... I dunno girls... I have to look after Scoots now... If anything happened to me..." Rainbow Dash mumbled quietly.

"Nothing's going to happen" Twilight soothed. "I can just undo the spell if you don't like it, ok?" Rainbow Dash looked around for a few seconds before she looked up at her friends. She sighed.

"Ok... I guess I'm in too."

"Ok. Well... do you want to do it now?" Twilight asked.

"Why not? There's no time like the present darling!" Rarity said assuringly. The rest of the girls nodded as well. Twilight breathed out.

"Ok girls, come closer to me." All of her friends scooted forward and Spike cracked open the bedroom door. Twilight levitated another open book off of the table and magically held it out in front of her. "Here we go girls..."

"Uhh... Nice bloodthirsty little animals..." I said cautiously as I walked forward towards Unity's room. Which brought me closer to the animals, but there was no way I was leaving my son in danger. I kept gently stepping forward, each blood red, beady eye following me every step of the way. I turned my head slowly from left to right, trying to keep all of them in sight. Until I turned right to find a giant orange beak in my face.

"SCREEEEEEE!!!" The beak opened to reveal a blood-red interior and let out a nightmarish wail. The main group of assorted rodents and birds all let loose with wails of their own no more than five feet in front of me. Both of my arms flew up to my head and I clapped my hands over my ears. I took off at a sprint towards Fluttershy's room.

"So much for not aggrivating the demon animals..." I could already feel the assorted rodents scratching and biting at my heels. Luckily, I had armor so they didn't bug me in the slightest. The birds however, were proving to be a threat. I had to duck and dodge as the merciless feathered beasts divebombed at me. They were seemingly aiming for my jurglar vein. I had to move frequently to avoid losing my lifeblood. A canary flew off his perch on the stone fireplace and charged at my face. I ducked and ended up slamming my head into a... duck that had been going for my stomach. I felt a thud on my back and I turned to see a crow slide off of my sword. Luckily he ran into the flat of the blade. I jumped forward into a roll, making it just into Fluttershy's bedroom. I lept to my feet and slammed the bedroom door shut. A chipmunk had made it into the room with me, but he was gnawing on my metal ankle so I wasn't worried.

"Tee hee hee!" I looked towards the sound of my son giggling and saw him lying in a butter yellow crib with a thick pink matress in it.

"Way to make him feel like a dude Flutters..." I mutter grumpily as I ran over to scoop Unity up. I ran over and lifted him in my right arm.

*THUD* The animals had started slamming on the bedroom door. I could actually see it bulge as the demon critters slammed themselves into it.

*THUD* *CRACK* On only the second slam, a huge split appeared on the door.

"Well crap. That's our cue to leave Unity!" I looked at the windows next to Fluttershy's bed. I pushed one open and leapt out as fast as I could.

*BAM* Right behind me I could hear the door split open as the animals broke into the room. The chipmunk which had been in the bedroom with me was sitting on the window sill and gesturing to me rapidly.

"Oh dammit." The chipmunk let out a small squeak of joy. I could only assume the others had seen him. After that, he leapt from the window and landed on my right shoulder, earning himself a quick punch from my left hand which sent him flying back through the window. "Running now!" I took off at a sprint into the forest. I would have headed to town, but I didn't want the townspe... ponies to get hurt. I could hear rabid squeaking and cawing behind me, but as I ran it faded into nothing. I ducked behind the nearest tree as soon as I was out of earshot of the demon animals. "Well, that was... interesting... I guess all I can do is wait until it fades awa--- and Oh my god what if they head to town on their own?! It's only a matter of time!" I looked frantically at Unity then back to the area where the demon animals were. "Ah crap... To Twilight's house!!!" I took off through the forest in the direction of Ponyville. Then I stopped again. "Ah crap, Unity isn't wearing his disguise and it's the middle of the day! Somepony will see him!"

"SCREEEE!!!"

"Shit! No more time!!!" I took off again in another random direction until I saw something through the trees. Smoke. Coming from Esmerelda's mountain. I facepalmed at the inconvinience and ended up running into a tree. I stepped back, temporarily dazed. Unity burst into a fit of giggles in my arm. "Oh, that's funny huh? I bet the demon animals are a riot for you too."

"SCREEEE!!!"

"Right! Still running!" I thought quickly for a place to go. I couldn't just outright kill Fluttershy's animals. Especially considering the fact that they would most likely be back to normal soon. I really had to stop them before they got to town though. They may go back to normal, but whatever damage they did wouldn't. I really couldn't leave Unity alone though, and I certainly couldn't take him to help me fight the animals. Maybe I could take F... "OH MY GOD I LEFT FANG WITH THE MERCILESS DEMONS!!!"

"Ughhh..." Twilight slowly blinked her eyes open. "That... didn't go as well as I'd hoped..." She lifted a hoof to rub her head.

.... It wasn't a hoof.

"W-what?" Twilight held out her new arm and saw five thin stick-like objects belonging to a very thin soft-looking hoof. The soft hoof was attatched to a thin leg that bent the wrong way. Twilight blinked in confusion a few times before a broad grin crossed her face. "I... I'm human!!" She leapt to her hooves in happiness, to find... hooves. Her hind legs hadn't changed shape! "Huh? Is this what human legs look like?" Then she made another shocking observation. Her skin was still lavender! "What?" She looked to her friends. The magic blast that had changed them had been too much energy for Twilight to handle, so the spell had gone haywire and thrown all of them into seperate parts of the room.

"Uhhh... My head..." Rainbow Dash sat up next to her and started rubbing her rainbow colored hair. Then she paused and held out her new appendage. "H-hey! It worked!"

"Not quite Rainbow..." Twilight interrupted. Rainbow Dash turned her head to look at Twilight.

"Whoa! You're still purple!" She looked Twilight up and down. "Your hind legs are normal too! Is this what humans are supposed to look like?" Twilight shook her head.

"No, something isn't-- You still have wings!" Rainbow Dash turned her shoulder to see her wings.

"Whoa! Cool! I was worried about not being able to fly. Ummm... You still have your horn too..." Twilight reached up to her head und felt the tip of her horn. The new stick-like appendages made her horn feel much better than a hoof did. Twilight quickly shook her head of her thoughts and looked to her other friends. Who were still out cold. Twilight's back was starting to hurt from the way she was trying to stand. Then she remembered that Sharky stood on two legs, not all four. She shakily pushed herself off the ground and wobbled herself upright. Her legs buckled at the joints, but she managed to stay upright. She felt hair against her legs and looked down to see her tail swishing back and forth.

"I... I still have my tail too..." She also noticed that her chest was far heavier than when she was a pony. She looked down to see two moderately sized mounds of flesh with pinkish spots on the end of them where nothing had existed previously. "What are these?" She turned to look at Rainbow Dash again and felt a small pang of satisfaction when she saw that her mounds were slightly bigger than Rainbow's. She had no idea why she felt so, but it was certainly there.

"So... What will Sharky think of this?" Rainbow Dash asked.

I ran quickly back to the large gathering of bloodthirsty animals. I had hidden Unity well in the forest, and planned on getting back to him as soon as possible. I didn't want my pet to die though. The animals had all congregated into a half dome right next to Fluttershy's house.

"Oh no... Where's Fang?!" I quietly fretted. As if on cue, the mound dispersed and revealed Fang in the center. He was laying on the ground, not moving. I slapped a hand over my mouth to muffle my scream of despair. I fell to my knees in sadness. As soon as my knees hit the ground, Fang's body leapt up. I gasped under my hand and let out a silent cheer. Until he turned and stared at me with a pair of huge, blood red eyes.

Help

"Holy fuck... They turned Fang into one of them! Wow, I like his new violent bloodthirsty thing. Ok, let's think... Jumping for my jurglar, all their mouths are blood red and they can turn others into one of them... Fuck, we have vampires." As if in response, Fang's eyes locked onto me and he let out a low growl. The hair on his shackles and neck rose right before he let out a blood curdling howl.

A good signal to leave.

I ran back into the forest, immediately heading to the spot where I left Unity. I pulled away the dead branches that I had used to conceal him next to a tree. He had turned them transparent anyway, so it's not like they were much help. I scooped him up and took off as fast as I could in a random direction, trying to stall to think of what to do next.

Ok, Esmerelda needs me, Unity needs to be taken to safety, I need to stop the vampiric animals before they get to Ponyville, and my best friend just turned vampire on me. Shit this is not my day. I sighed heavily before returning my focus to my mad dash. Ok, first I need to get Unity to safety. Then I can get to defending the town. Then I can help Esmerelda... but where to keep Unity... I sighed as nothing immediately came to mind, then I ran smack into Blaze.

"Whoa!! Hey Sharky. How nice to run into you!" He broke out into laughs and I clapped a hand over his mouth. He gave me a questioning look and kept trying to move his jaw. I lifted a finger to my lips.

"Shhhhh...." He quit squirming and gave me his full attention. "Now, don't panic. I'm being chased by a horde of vampire rodents. I need you to hold them off awhile so I can take my son to Twilight then come back here and defend the town from the evil beasts." I slowly removed my hand from his mouth.

"BWAHAHAHA!!! Good one Sharky! You had me going there for a se--"

"Grrrr..." A familiar growl came from the trees and two dots of red light popped up from the shadows inbetween the trees.

"Oh... I forgot to mention that they got Fang." Suddenly Blaze's horn flashed and he appeared to be covered in emeralds.

"Go."

"Oh, so now you're on board."

"Go!!" I jumped slightly and took off in the direction of Ponyville. Fang gave chase, but he was tackled by an emerald Blaze. I ran flat-out at max speed, hurridly weaving inbetween trees as they whizzed by. It was obvious that I was much faster than I had been before my little cross dimensional trip. I must have been closer to town than I thought, because I was there in less than five minutes of running. I quickly hauled ass to Twilight's house. I knocked on the door.

"Uhh... this isn't a good time..." I heard Twilight's voice call from inside.

"Twilight! I need you NOW!!!" I yelled desperately into the door. I heard the familiar tapping of hooves as Twilight approached the door. I didn't see a glow of magic as the door opened like usual though. Instead, the door was opened to reveal a Twilight that was standing on two hooves, but had arms and hands and a human face! She had her tail, horn, and color still, but what caught my attention most was her totally exposed human anatomy.

"Hi Sharky... What do you think?"

"... I'm thinking maybe a C cup... Damn! Nice tits." Twilight screwed her face up at me in confusion. I shook my head to get rid of my thoughts. "Look, I'll ask you about this odd experiment later, but right now I need you to take Unity so that I can go fight some vampire birds and rodents that he acidentally created!"

"... What?" She blinked a few times in confusion. I sighed.

"Look, hold Unity while I kick some vampire ass." I handed her Unity and she awkwardly grabbed hold of him in her new arms. "K, bye! Aww c'mon man! You got a naked chick that doesn't know it's wrong and you're not gonna take advantage of that?!"

"... What?"

I hauled ass back to the area where I had left Blaze. All I saw was a dome of creatures covering something.

"No! They can't have gotten Blaze too! I don't care about the freak, but I'm aching to kick some ass!" I unsheathed the Buster sword and raised it in front of me angrily. I wasn't going to kill these animals, but I could sure beat the hell out of them. Fluttershy would understand I'm sure. I charged at the vampire critters and smacked the top half of the dome off with a swing of the flat of my blade. I dazed some of the ones I hit for sure, and since the top was made mostly out of birds, I was sure I broke a wing or two. unfortunately, this drew the attention of the rest of the animals. Before I could move, I was buried in a swarm of chipmunks, mice, and bunnies. I quickly threw myself down to the ground and rolled in a desperate effort to get rid of the tiny blood suckers. Most of them fell off with the impact or the force of my weight crushing them. I could only hope I hadn't killed any of them. I leapt back to my feet and smacked off the remaining few vampire critters. Then, some birds that I hadn't damaged started divebombing at me.

"Oh cool! They left!" I looked down at the ground to see that under the giant dome of animals, Blaze had been covered in his emeralds the whole time!

"Holy crow! You're ok!" A crow dived at me and got a taste of the back of my left hand.

"Well duh. I'm covered in emeralds and we're fighting squirrels. Of course I'm still alive!" A bunny that looked suspiciously like Angel smacked into Blaze's neck ineffectively.

"Well lucky you. I however don't have a freaking emerald covering. Cowardly bitch! Fight like a real man! ... Stallion... Male drag-- Oh whatever the fuck you are!" I swatted two more birds out of the air with the flat of my blade. Crippling two birds with one swing. Multitudes of vampiric rodents swarmed around my legs, but they were unable to hurt me in the slightest.

"Maybe you should get more armor then! Don't complain to me just because you refuse to show up prepared!" A hawk raked Blaze's back with it's talons, then changed it's mind and came at me.

"Do you know how hard it is for me to keep a shirt!? It's not like I try to run around half naked! I'm just glad it's a little warmer. Now." I reared back my left arm and met the falcon's beak with my gauntleted fist.

"Why are you glad it's warmer?" The animals slowly seemed to be realizing that they couldn't hurt us.

"No particular reason. I am pretty glad it's just these little animals for now. If Fang showed up we'd have a little more t--"

"Grrrrr...." Fang seemed to materialize out of nowhere from the forest to my left.

"Oh dang it..."

"GRAGHHHH!!!" A giant blood-crazed grizzly bear followed him.

"And he brought a bear. How nice."

"Uhhh... Hey Sharky..." Blaze sounded nervous.

"Yeah?"

"I think he's strong enough to break my gemskin..."

"Fan fucking tastic."

Rarity slowly fluttered her eyes open delicately. She had no need to be so slow about it, but she enjoyed taking her time to make an entrance. She had heard Sharky bang on the door. Poor dear most likely considered it knocking, but he was far too strong for his own good. Rarity let her eyes fully open and stretched out her legs. She tried to stand up, to find that the position was now uncomfortable for her. She looked around in confusion to find the source of her discomfort. For some reason, her backside was far taller than her front, and her back had to arch up to make this position work.

"What in Equestria..." She muttered to herself. Then she saw her friend Twilight's mane near the table. "Twilight! What happened?" Twilight turned to face her and stumbled around the table. She looked kind of like Sharky except she had hind legs, was still purple, still had a horn and tail, and was much thinner. Also she had two lumps on her chest that Rarity couldn't identify. "You... you don't look quite like I imagined a human girl would..." Twilight hid a smile behind one of her odd new appendages.

"And you look funny all bent up like that Rarity! Humans stand on their back legs only, remember?" A blush spread across Rarity's face.

"Oh, of course..." Rarity pushed herself up off the ground and wobbled to maintain her balance.

"Anyway, you're right. I don't look quite like a human female. It took too much energy for me to handle, so it seems we've all only halfway transformed... and were... knocked out in the process..." Rarity looked at the forms of all her friends.

"Do you think.... maybe we sould get some clothes dear? Sharky always seemed so adamant about his clothing... it might be important!"

"Nah, I think it's just a cultural thing. Like rhyming zebras." Rainbow Dash spoke up. She was leaning against a wall of the library in a casual way, like she had been human her whole life.

"Soo.... I don't have to make us all clothes?"

"Nope."

"... Can I make myself clothes anyway?" Rainbow Dash shrugged.

"Sure, go nuts."

"Ohhh~ Fantastic! Oh, before I forget, what did Sharky want Twilight? Why didn't he stay to see us?" Twilight held out Unity.

"He wanted me to hold Unity for a while. He said he had to fight vampires... but even with all my sizable knowledge of Equestria's fauna, I can't seem to understand what that is..."

"Ummm... maybe he meant vampony?" Rainbow Dash offered. Twilight waved a hoof dismissively.

"No, I'm very sure he said vampire."

"Well, perhaps that is human for vampony. After all, Prench for us is French to them." Rarity continued. Twilight rubbed her chin thoughtfully.

"Good point Rarity, but I very seriously doubt he would be telling me that he was fighting a bunch of things that don't exist."

"Well, what if they do exist?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Don't be silly! Vamponies are only an old mare's tale."

"Nightmare Moon was a mare's tale. So was Discord." Rarity countered. Twilight seemed to stop and think for a moment. Rarity decided to add another being to the list. "Sharky wasn't even a mare's tale, but here he is."

"Oh... Good point... If that's really the case, then Sharky could be in serious trouble!" Twilight tried to turn and stride quickly to the front door, but she lost her balance on only the second step and fell over. Rarity had to stifle a giggle, even in the pressing situation. She tried to walk over to Twilight to hep her, but she lost her balance even quicker and fell forward onto the floor of the library. Rainbow Dash laughed.

"Bwahahaha! Look at you two! Do you seriously think Sharky needs our help? He's killed more monsters than anypony I've ever met!" Twilight looked at Rarity and they shared a look of understanding. Then they both burst out laughing.

"Quite right dear! We'd get in the way most likely!" Rarity giggled.

"I agree. I think he can handle himself!" Twilight exclaimed. "If anything, I'm more worried about Fluttershy... She still hasn't woken up." Rarity and the other girls turned their attention to their still unconcious friend.

"Nice Fang... Good boy..." I backed away slowly from Fang while still batting aside assorted birds. He prowled towards me, his mouth foaming slightly as he bared his teeth at me. "So, this is what my enemies see... Not as funny on the other end." I was having a really hard time planning on how to fight them. I flat out refused to kill them, but it was becoming clear from the scattered rodents picking themselves up off the ground that they wouldn't stay down.

"You think that's funny, I got the bear!" An emerald coated Blaze was slowly backing away from a... suprisingly large bear. The bear had Fang's fang marks all over it, so I was torn between being proud of my wolf and being scared for my life. One thing was for sure though...

I could really use some help.

Second

"Man, why can't life be normal for a change?" I mumbled to myself as I backed away from my pet turned vampire. An eagle dived at my back unseen and smacked into me. I stumbled forward from the mighty bird's blow and Fang jumped at me. Instead of stumbling into his leap, I allowed myself to fall over with the blow and hit the ground. I let out a low hiss as the pain from the eagle's talon strike set in, but I didn't have time to think about it. As soon as Fang passed over me harmlessly, the rodents on the ground tried to swarm over me. I sprang to my hands quickly and crawled as fast as I could away from them. As soon as I was a good distance away from them, I pushed myself to my feet and turned back around to face my enemies.

"Hey, be happy you didn't have to fend off hunters while wandering through the wilderness for years!" Blaze retorted. He ducked as the bear took a swing at his head and flapped his wings to try and get away from it. He didn't get very far due to the weight of the emeralds. Fang had already turned around from his jump and was faster than all the other animals in charging at me. I stumbled backward slightly from sheer shock at his raw speed before I raised my sword to block him. As Fang got close to me, I brought the flat of the sword down to hit him. Instead, he jumped to the right so quickly I almost didn't see it and jumped at me again. Instead of trying to block him again, I changed the angle of my swing and let the sword keep going until it hit the ground. It buried itself into the ground. I put my feet on the side of the sword and kicked off of it. I rolled to a stop a few feet away, but Fang crashed into a tree that had been next to me.

"You can be quite a downer sometimes!" The bear kept coming for Blaze, but he turned around and flat out ran away from the bear. Unfortunately running towards me and giving the bear a new target. Me. I ran as quickly as I could over to my sword and ripped it out of the ground. Luckily Fang was still dazed, so I lifted the Buster Sword and brought the flat of the blade down onto the back of Fang's head. I flinched with the impact, and Fang fell to the ground. "Sorry buddy..." I didn't have much time to lament over the injury to my friend, as the bear decided now was a good time to reach me. With a mighty roar, he swung at my back before I had time to react. The force threw me forward into the tree that Fang had hit. I slammed into the tree with astounding force, then bounced off of it slightly. I felt a warm spot on my face, and I touched my upper lip with my left hand to find blood.

"Whoa! You ok dude?" Every single animal stopped in it's tracks and turned to me at the same time. They were all sniffling hungrily and looking at the blood on my face greedily. I raised the Buster Sword defensively and prepared for an onslaught.

"Uh... I'm going to have to say no... I am not going to be ok." The rodents were all on me in a matter of seconds. They swarmed me with more concentration and determination than ever before. Not only were they climbing on top of one another in their desperation, but the were creating a thick enough ring around me to make movement impossible. I was trapped. The birds became more rabid as well. Now they were aiming all their charges at my face. The bear almost seemed to laugh at me, totally immobile and distracted by multiple foes. If that wasn't bad enough, Fang stood up from his previous blow and visibly shook it off. "Oh crap... I never thought I'd be so unhappy to see you unharmed..." I stood there, trapped in vermin and defending myself from vampiric birds. The bear and Fang circled me hungrily, licking their lips confidently. Blaze was nowhere in sight. I sighed hopelessly as I realized this was the end. At least until Unity's magic wore off. Assuming they changed me and didn't just suck all of my blood out...

Twilight was shaking Fluttershy, slowly bringing her to the concious world. All of the sudden, a familiar square of light popped up into her field of vision. Sharky's face filled the square.

"Hiya Twi."

"Hi Sharky. Why are you calling? I'm only a little way away from you..."

"Oh, I-- HA! Take that Fang!-- Think I may be about to die. Maybe turned into a blood sucking demon. *Clang* Dang falcon..." The background to Sharky's image was waving around wildly and occasionaly Twilight saw a bird or two in the background.

"Sharky? What are you talking about?"

"Look, I don't have much time! I'm trapped and I need help! Luna seems to have disabled her number somehow, and I'm barely holding off these animals! I'm just outside of Ponyville next to the forest somewhere along the path to Fluttershy's house! I could really use you he--" Sharky's face suddenly disappeared. Twilight stood in place in shock for a moment.

"Sharky needs our help?!" Rainbow Dash yelled furiously. Twilight snapped to her senses and Fluttershy suddenly sat bolt upright. "What are we going to do?!"

"D-did he say animals?!" Fluttershy yelled quickly.

"Oh dear, what are we going to do?!" Rarity wailed helplessly. "He simply can't die! I don't want him to!" Fluttershy shakily rose to her hooves, crouched over like she was still a pony. After looking around confusedly for a few seconds, she realized what was going on and shakily rose to her hindlegs. She stumbled towards the front door.

"Fluttershy! What are you doing?!" Twilight yelled. Fluttershy unsteadily turned to face her.

"I'm going to go help Sharky..."

"What? Fluttershy, you can barely walk like this!"

"I don't care... Sharky needs help and I'm not going to leave him alone."

"... You're right. I'm coming too!"

"Twilight... You should stay here... if you don't mind..." Twilight gave her friend a confused look.

"Why in Equestria would I stay behind?"

"Well, animals are my specialty... Even if they've gone crazy, I think I can calm them down... No offense, but magic might just upset them even more..." Twilight was about to come back with another argument, but she closed her mouth as Fluttershy's logic started making sense in her head. She nodded regretfully.

"That does make sense Fluttershy... Please, bring him back safe..."

"Yeah... Not that I'm worried about him handling it on his own or anything..." Rainbow Dash added.

"And do come back safely dear!" Rarity shouted after her before Fluttershy turned and left the library.

*click* The door closed with the same timidness as the one who closed it. The remaining three friends shared a quick look.

"Did... we really just let Fluttershy go alone?" Rainbow Dash asked. In a flash, the remaining friends all ran out the door as fast as their wobbly new legs would let them.

With my legs pinned and my phone in the possesion of a theiving raven, there wasn't much more I could do to defend myself. Luckily the bear was deciding to take his time taunting me. He hadn't moved forward to strike yet, but was patiently waiting just outside of the range of my sword. After Fang had jumped at me the first time and gotten smacked out of the air, he decided to stay next to the bear. The smaller animals were all clearly dumber than them though. They were still swarming my legs and mercilessly diving at my face. As more rodents added themselves to the swarm, they got closer and closer to being a tall enough pile for them to bite into my sides. I beat another robin out of the air as it dived at me. This time the bird got a talon locked onto the cloth inbetween the metal plates on my glove. He pulled it off and flew away, leaving my left hand armorless and less dangerous. I was left with only my right blade and my sword. Then, a huge plume of flame came out of the forest behind me and scattered all of the animals around me. I took a burn on my back, but it was much better than what would have happened.

"Blaze! You're still here! Not a moment too soon either! I was just about to accept death!" I cried out happily as I ran in the direction of the flame. Blaze was crouched down in the undergrowth, coughing his lungs up.

"*Cough cough* What did you *cough* expect? I wouldn't j-*cough*-ust leave a friend b-*cough cough*-ehind..." The wild animals seemed to be thinking twice before charging at me again. Blaze still had his emerald suit on, so he still wasn't in any real danger. His cough was a little odd though.

"Blaze, why are you coughing? You're not sick are you?" He rubbed his throat with a forehoof.

"Nah, I'm not *cough* a full dragon, so the fire *cough cough* really hurts my *cough* throat." The animals were regaining their wits and a brave few were approaching me, Angel leading them.

"Right... Well, like I said, good to see you still here. Now, if you'll excuse me..." Never before had somepony taunted me like that bear since the bullies in elementary. He was going fucking down. I braced my sword out in front of me and let out a low growl. "Grrr..." I sprinted forward, and with a low swing from my sword, the brave approaching vampires were thrown to the side. I kept up my sprint without losing any momentum. The other little vampires decided to go after Blaze now, avoiding my berzerk charge. I was ten feet away from the bear when Fang leapt at me. I brought the Buster sword around in a powerful arc, slamming the flat of the blade into the top of his head. He was quickly sent downward, making a cartoon-style dent in the ground on impact. The bear grinned at me and slammed a massive forepaw into my side while I was trying to regain my balance from my swing at Fang. I was thrown with the force of the blow. I rolled to a stop about ten feet away from him.

"Sharky!" I turned to look at the source of the yell. A short distance away from me, on the path back to Ponyville, a half-human Fluttershy was yelling at me.

"Hey! What are you doing here?! Go! I got this!" Fluttershy either didn't hear me or was totally ignoring me. She stumble-ran down the path to me.

"Graaaaaghhhh!!!" My attention was brought back to the bear who had kept coming at me while I yelled at Fluttershy. I lifted up my sword just in time to block another swing from him. The brute force still sent me sliding about another three feet. I quickly got back on my guard and swung at the bear's head. The flat of the blade connected with his torso, but it seemed to have no effect. The bear jumped at me and tackled me to the ground. My lower body was trapped by his weight, and my sword was knocked away from me. I balled both of my hands into fists and started giving the bear's face a beating. He backed off of me and I scrambled to my feet. Before I could prepare myself, he took another swing. Without my sword to absorb the blow, I flew away with the swing. I landed about 25 feet away this time. I could do little more than sit there in a daze.

"Bad boy! This isn't how you're suppose to act! Very bad boy!" Fluttershy had finally made it to the bear and she was... talking to him firmly. I looked up from where I hit the ground to look at her. I took one look, and all I could see were her eyes. In one single moment, that little pony-woman sucked my soul out through my eyes and held it in her hands. I knew that everything she said was law and must be obeyed. Then I lost eye contact and my head cleared.

"Whoa, so that's the stare. That's freaking amazing." I pushed myself back up and stumbled to my feet. RD, Twilight, and Rarity all appeared from the same place Fluttershy had ran in. RD and Twilight ran towards Fluttershy, but only Rarity saw me. She ran right to me. I finally managed to stand up straight right as Rarity hug-tackled me down to the ground. I landed on my back, momentarily dazed. When the daze finally wore off, I was even more shocked to find Rarity's lips pressed against mine. She was full-on kissing me, and I had no idea how to react. Soon she removed her mouth from mine and I felt a tear from Rarity hit my cheek.

"Oh Sharky! I'm so relieved you're ok! I thought you were truly going to d--"

That's when I fainted.

Awkward

I slowly came to again. My head was in extreme pain, and my thoughts were scrambled and scattered. I blinked my eyes quickly a few times to clear away the fuzziness. I looked around to see... chest.

"Bah!" I quickly jumped to my feet and ran forward a few steps to get away from whoever I had just seen. I ended up running into the corner of a desk in whatever room I was in. The corner contacted the middle of my head, putting me in even worse pain. "Argh!" I fell backwards onto my rear end. I rubbed my head lightly to try and ease the pain.

"Sharky?! Are you ok?!" I looked around quickly for the source of the voice. Suddenly, white filled my vision. I looked up, following the smooth white belly of somebody. I mentally made myself skip what I knew I would see further above, and looked straight at Rarity's face.

"Gah! Rarity!" I scooted even further backwards, stunned to see her as a human... kind of. "I mean uh... H-hi Rarity..."

"Sharky! You're back!" Rarity, totally ignoring my reactions to her, ran over and wrapped me in a big hug. Totally oblivious the the fact that her chest was on my face! I quickly pushed Rarity off of me and got back to my feet.

"Never. Never do that again. Make a shirt or something now." I turned away from Rarity the moment I started speaking. She had a confused tone to her voice when she responded.

"What? Why did you push me? What's wrong Sharky?" I started breathing in and out deeply in order to calm myself. I didn't mean to freak out so badly.

"Nothing... Say, isn't this your room?" I looked around at the somewhat familiar surroundings. I would definitely never forget the room I slept with a pony in!

"Why, yes it is dear. Why won't you look at me?" Rarity tried walking in front of me, but I closed my eyes and put both hands over them.

"How in hell did I end up here? The last thing I remember is being hit by the bear." Rarity paused for a moment, leaving the room wrapped in silence

"That's all you remember?"

"Yeah."

"Nothing else?"

"Why? Should I?"

"... *sigh* I rather wish you did. Anyway, you are here because after you passed out, Steven walked you over here."

"Steven did that? Ya bet I did. Boy, did I get an eyeful on the way..."

"Well, he stared at me the whole time. He tried to touch me too, but I set him straight." I rubbed my cheek as I suddenly noticed a new pain.

"I see. Well, can you... please make a shirt?"

"You want a shirt dear? Well, I'll have to measure you..."

"No no, not for me, for you."

"What? Why?"

"Cause you're naked. That's bad if you're a human, which you kinda seem to be."

"So... not having clothing on as a human is a bad thing?"

"... Well, it's not necessarily bad, but i-it's really throwing me off."

"Why? What's wrong with it dear?"

"*sigh* Look, in order to truly explain that, I'd have to delve into some science and history of my kind. I really don't think you're all that interested in it. Please, just cover yourself? Upper and lower body preferably."

"Umm... if you insist..." I heard some rustling for a moment. "Ok, I'm covered!" Rarity announced happily. I uncovered my eyes and saw that she had simply wrapped herself in plain purple fabric from just below her collarbones down to just below her hips. She was cutting it very close to indecent, but I could live.

"Close enough."

"Yes, it's not exactly fashionable, but I suppose it'll have to do for now."

"Ha, hey, this reminds me. I need to take you out to dinner still!" Rarity gave me a small confused grin.

"You want to take me to dinner?!"

"Rather, I want to have you for dinner! Well yeah, remember? We were supposed to go when I took you to get your mane fixed, but it got too late." Rarity nodded.

"Yes dear, the time you left me to the rabid paparazzi. I remember that very well."

"Well uhh... uh..." Rarity giggled lightly.

"I'm kidding dear! It's just a bit of humor."

"I didn't know you had a sense of humor Rarity!" I gave her a broad grin back. She started blinking at me quickly.

"Oh? You... like a girl with a sense of humor?" I nodded.

"Eeyup. Funny girls are great! Not as fun as shy girls though." Rarity gave me a small frown.

"Oh. So, what exactly do you like in a girl, hmm?"

"Why do you ask?"

"Oh, just curious." I walked around to Rarity's bed and sat down on the edge, still facing her.

"Well, I can respect curiosity. I guess if I had to choose... I like shy girls, smart girls, and girls with class." At that third one, Rarity got a huge grin. "One or the other though, not one with all three traits. I guess for good measure, if they were athletic as well it would be nice. Athletic girls usually have better bodies. Not too athletic though, because then their... Actually, that's enough explaining. Sluts. the easier the better. I know you didn't ask, but I felt like sayin."

"Their what dear?"

"Nothing, nothing. So, what do you like in a stallion?" Rarity seemed caught off guard.

"W-why would you ask that?"

"Oh, I dunno, just... curious." I grinned at her.

"Well... I wasn't expecting you to ask... but... I like..." Rarity seemed to be slowly moving towards me. "A tall, strong male... that's brave and kind. Being a gentlepony is necessary." She was blinking a lot, and certainly getting closer. I started leaning back a little nervously. "Good with foals is a must. A very, very large must... and I've only ever met one like that..." Rarity was practically on top of me on the bed now. I could feel my throat tightening with nervousness. I swallowed the lump in my throat and managed to speak again.

"Uhh... is that Sweetiebelle?!" I pointed behind Rarity towards the doorway. She frowned and looked back.

"Sweetibelle I thought I told y... Sweetiebelle isn't here..." While Rarity was talking to nothing, I rolled off the bed and fell onto the floor on the other side.

"Well, look at the sun! I've got to be going, see you for that dinner tomorrow Rarity! I'll... ask about that half-human thing later. Byeeeee!" I sprinted for the door and barreled down the stairs. I ran right for the door and flung it open, allowing me to acidentally plow into the group of half-human girls in front of it. "Oh hi! You're all... naked. Fuck yeah, all of you hold still for a minut-- ahh crap." I lifted my hands in front of my eyes again.

"Sharky, why are ya coverin' you're eyes? Aren't you happy to see the girls that saved you?" RD asked. The pure confidence in her voice brought a smile to my face.

"I'd love to see the girls that saved me, but they're naked. Maybe if they go get something to wear from Rarity, I'll talk to them."

"What? Why is this so important?" Twilight asked. I sighed heavily again.

"Look, Shy, RD, go inside and get something to wear. Twilight, let me explain this to you. After you get clothes of some sort. I'll be at Flutters-- wait, the animals are all still evil! What are you guys doing here?!" Twilight reached out and patted my shoulder.

"Don't worry. As soon as we had them all beat with Fluttershy's stare, they changed back. It was almost like they were made to be beaten."

"Oh... Good. Well, I'll meet you back at Fluttershy's house." I turned away from them and lifted my hand away from my eyes. To my relief, none of them had moved in front of me. I went to the library as quickly as I could, nearly sprinting. I made it in and the first thing I started looking for was Unity. I found Spike wandering around in the living room as a half-human. He had actual hands, was about three inches taller, and he had a short green mohawk instead of spines on his head. Luckily, he was more... physically restrained than the girls had been. "Hiya Spike!" The little dragon-boy jumped and his head snapped in my direction.

"Sharky! What in Equestria happened to me?!" He shouted. I shrugged.

"Hell if I know. Ask Twilight. By the way, I dunno if you heard, but you were right. I was hurting Twilight. So, I've moved. Sorry we couldn't spend more time together bud." I walked by him as I talked. I gave him a good pat on the head to show him I cared about him, then continued looking for Unity.

"W-wait! That's not what I wanted!"

"Well, sometimes what we want doesn't matter. In the end, no matter what, we have to do what's right. Right now, far as I can tell, not hurting Twilight is the right thing." Spike looked up at me with large glassy eyes.

"B-but Sharky... it's not what was supposed to happen..." I walked upstairs and found Unity laying in Spike's bed. I picked him up and he frowned at me.

"Hey, don't you give me that look! You almost killed me today!" He 'hmph'ed in a tiny baby squeak. I laughed and carried him back downstairs. "You must want dinner huh? Well, I should really go back home and make you a bottle." I walked out of the house without giving Spike another look.

"Ohhh... I'm never gonna hear the end of this from Twilight..."

It didn't take me long to reach the place where the animals and I had fought. I found my sword laying where it had landed and my glove sitting right on top of it. I guess once the animals were back to normal the bird put my glove where I would find it. In fact, the robin that stole the glove was sitting on a branch above the blade. It looked down at me and chirped guiltily.

"Oh, you feel bad for what you did?" I asked the bird. It nodded at me. "Well, you're forgiven. It's not your fault after all. Actually, you were very smart!" The bird chirped at me questioningly. "Yeah, smart. You aimed for the cloth in the glove rather than my face directly. That makes you smart for thinking of a way to disarm me." The bird chirped happily and I laughed. "Yeah, good job. Well, I gotta go." I turned to leave, but the bird flapped behind me and landed on my right shoulder. "Oh, you wanna come along? Thank god, I hope it tastes like chicken! Well, I won't stop you."

"Bark!" Fang came loping out of the woods towards me. His ears were flat and he wouldn't look at me directly.

"Oh c'mon Fang, you can't think I'd be mad at you!" His left ear perked up. "If anything, I'd say I'm pretty proud of how well you held your own back there!" He tilted his head up at me and looked at me with interest. "You turned that bear right? I saw your marks all over him! That's amazing boy!" He lifted his head all the way up and barked happily. I laughed along with him. "Always remember, no matter what, you're still my best friend Fang!" I cheered to him. He yipped happily, and we made our way back home, a new friend in tow.

I had finally settled Unity down and gotten to get some rest in. "Finally... Unity's in bed, I'm settled in my corner, and I might get to go t--"

*Knock* *Knock* *Knock*

"Well, nevermind." I pushed myself up off the ground, waking up the robin that refused to leave my shoulder and letting Fang, who had been curled up on my side, fall. "Who is it?"

"It's Twilight and Fluttershy!" I opened the door for them. Twilight was wearing a skin-tight dark blue dress that was the same length as Rarity's cloth. It had only one loop that went around her left shoulder. Fluttershy was wearing a green tank top that showed off her stomach and short green shorts. I gave Fluttershy a confused look.

"Rarity was running low on green f-fabric..." Fluttershy explained. I nodded.

"I understand. Hey, how much to adopt this bird? He seems to like me." I pointed to the robin on my shoulder.

"Oh, he's f-free. That isn't one of m-my birds..." I gave her a confused look.

"I thought you cared for all the animals..."

"W-well, I do... but not all of t-them ask me to find owners f-for them..."

"Oh, I see. Well, I was going to talk to Twilight, but I'm sure you know enough about animal biology to follow along with this discussion." Fluttershy gave me a timid smile and I turned to Twilight.

"Right, well... You were going to explain why clothes are so necessary." Twilight reminded me. We all strode inside and sat down in a few chairs.

"Yes of course, but first, I'd like to know what happened after that bear hit me. I'm kinda fuzzy after that, and out cold just a little while after that..." Twilight nodded.

"Of course! I'd be happy to tell you. Ok, here it goes. When Fluttershy ran in she paralyzed all of the animals simply with her stare. Rainbow Dash, Rarity, and I all came in just after that, not that we were needed. Fluttershy got all the animals to come back here all on her own! When we came back to you though, you were gone and Rarity was no longer with the rest of us. We all went to her boutique, expecting to find you there. You know the rest."

"Fair enough. Well, to explain why clothes are important to humans... You see, whereas you mares have a period called heat in which your body produces chemicals to arouse males, humans don't have that. Rather, the human male is conditioned to react to a female's physical apperance, specifically genetalia. This means that a female human's body can cause arousal in males on sight. In order to avoid this, humans wear clothes. It also provides minor heat and protection." Twilight and Fluttershy seemed to take in what I said for a moment.

"So... at any time, a human male can be made sexually aroused merely through sight?" Twilight asked. I nodded.

"Mind you, clothing was originally adopted for protection. However, now that we can control our environments, that's the only viable reason I can think of for you girls to wear clothing.

"B-but that means that... w-when you s-saw us earlier..." Fluttershy trailed off. I could feel a warm blush spread across my cheeks.

"Well, that's enough excitement for one day! Sorry, but we'll have to reschedule dinner Fluttershy. G'night!" I trudged groggily back into my corner and curled up. in a matter of minutes, I was asleep.

Need

Febuary, Saturday 2nd

"Cheep cheep cheep!"

"What?! Who?! Where!?" I jumped as my new robin chirped into my ear. I leapt straight to my feet and my robin chirped proudly. "What? You proud you woke me up? Imma fry you and eat you fucker!" My robin chirped affirmatively. "Yeah well... good job I guess. Fluttershy? Why were you sleeping with me?" As soon as I jumped up, Fluttershy and Fang had both rolled over and fell because I was no longer supporting them. Fluttershy blinked groggily a few times before she realized that I was asking her a question.

"Oh! S-sorry... I got lonely..." She brought her tail around her back and hid her face with it. I smiled at her adorableness and leaned down to hug her.

"That's ok Fluttershy! Glad you came to me then." I released her and went into her bedroom to get Unity. There wasn't anything apparently wrong with the room, nothing seemed tampered with, so I assumed that Unity used a lot of power yesterday. Sure enough, I picked him up and nothing happened. I breathed a sigh of relief and set him back down. I decided that I would let him sleep as long as he could. I walked back out into the living room.

"Why'd you go in m-my room?" Fluttershy squeaked.

"Just checking on Unity. He's still asleep, so I'm gonna go play with my pets. I'm hoping for a relatively normal day today." Fluttershy giggled.

"Normal? Hee hee, I doubt it if y-you're involved in it."

"Ha ha, you're most likely right. Well, I'm going to go start breakfast." I walked into the kitchen and quickly found the bread, butter, and a grapefruit. I popped the bread into a toaster and threw the grapefruit in the air. I swung at it with my right arm blade, slicing it clean in half. I caught both halves with my left hand and set them down on the counter. "Sweet! My agility is better now!" I cheered. I had no idea how fast I could move. A few seconds later, the toast popped up, just barely browned. I pulled them out for Fluttershy, then put in two more slices of bread for myself. The robin chirped in my ear again. I jumped a little and accidentally dropped the loaf of bread.

"Cheep! Cheep!" He was bouncing on my shoulder and guesturing to the birdbath on the sink.

"What, you wanna take a bath?" I bent over to pick up he bread and hit my head on the counter. I let out a hiss of pain and my robin chirped affirmatively. "Well then why the hell are you asking me? When you want something, feel free to go do whatever it is. Like Fang does! Isn't that right Fang?" I didn't get a response, so I quickly looked around. Fang was gone. "See?" The robin flew off my shoulder and right into the bath, splashing a little water on the counters. I smiled at him and went back to buttering Fluttershy's toast with my blades. "Geez these things are useful." My toast popped up, just as light brown as Fluttershy's. I popped it back in to darken it just a little more and put Fluttershy's food on a plate. I brought it out for her with a glass of orange juice.

"Sharky! Y-you weren't suppose to m-make me breakfast!" I placed her food in front of her and walked back into the kitchen.

"Too bad. Did it anyway." I walked back into the kitchen and waited until my toast popped up. I buttered it and started washing off my blades in the sink. As soon as I was done the little robin hopped on to my hand and walked up my arm. He perched on my shoulder comfortably. I ripped off a corner of a piece of my toast and held it up for him to eat. He pecked at it lazily as I walked back into the living room. I sat down next to Fluttershy and started eating as soon as my robin was done. Fluttershy scooted closer to me and leaned on me. She let her head rest on my shoulder.

"This is n-nice..." Fluttershy mumbled.

"Yeah, yeah it is."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"... Well, I've got to go." The peaceful silence was broken as soon as I spoke.

"What? Why?"

"I need to go somewhere."

"Where?"

"Somewhere. I'll be back later tonight. Would you mind taking care of Unity while I'm gone?" Fluttershy gave me a confused look.

"Of c-course I will... Is s-something w-wrong?"

"Nah, just gotta do something important. I'll be back later, bye!" I stood up, causing Fluttershy to rock to the side a little. I walked out of the house quickly, eager to get to Esmerelda and back as fast as I could. I whistled as I walked out of the house, and Fang appeared out of the forest and ran to my side. I grinned and took off in the direction of the mountain.`

"*gasp* *gasp* *gasp* Wow that's a climb!!! Never again fucker! I need this body too ya know!" I continued my mad gasping as I stood on the ledge to Esmerelda's cave. Fang lightly trodded up beside me, totally unwinded. My robin fluttered back up to me and landed on my shoulder. I looked at the both of them, totally fine and not tired at all. They almost seemed to be laughing at me. "What? C'mon, I actually had to climb! You flew-" I pointed at my robin, then to Fang. "-and you just walked up the damn mountain like a pony!"

"Sharky? Is that you?!" Esmerelda shouted from inside the cave. Her head peeked out followed by a long, scaly neck. "Oh, you really are here!" She brought her full upper body out into the sun, sending glimmering rays of blue light off of her scales in every direction. My little robin quit moving on my shoulder at the sight of her. His talons dug into my shoulder, and he let out a small chirp of fear.

"Hey, *gasp* calm down boy..." I soothed to him. Esmerelda seemed to notice the animals with me, and saw that she was scaring the bird. She quickly vanished inside of the cave.

"Ohhh... I didn't mean to scare your pet... I'm so sorry..." I laughed.

"Don't worry Esmerelda, *gasp* he's just a chicken in a *gasp* robin's body." My robin sqwaked indignently and flew off my shoulder and into the cave. Shortly after that, I heard more small chirps of fear from the cave.

"Oh no no... Don't be afraid... I'm nice, I wouldn't hurt a fly." Esmerelda cooed gently. The terrified chirps kept coming though, so I let out a small gasp-laugh and trudged into the cave. I heard fang's claws tapping on the stone as he followed behind me. I entered the cave to see Esmerelda curled around a huge pile of eggs and my little robin just in front of her, shaking like a leaf. "Please don't be scared, I'm not a monster, I promise!" Esmerelda sounded on the verge of tears. I ran in as fast as my exhausted body would let me and scooped up my robin.

"Don't *gasp* mind him Esmerelda. He's just *gasp* a great big chicken. It's not your fault." My robin nodded quickly in my arms crawled up to my shoulder. Esmerelda let out a sad sigh that blew my hair around wildly with the power.

"I wish I didn't scare everything I meet..." She curled her neck around the pile of eggs so that her head faced away from us.

"Oh come on, *gasp* you don't scare everything! Look at me, *gasp* I was never scared of you!" Esmerelda turned her head so that she could look at me with on eye.

"Yes, but you're a hero!" She argued. I groaned heavily.

"I'm not a *gasp* freaking hero!! Yeah, you're a douche." Esmerelda blinked at me and extended her head all the way to me. She looked me dead in the eyes.

"You're my hero..." She said simply. "You saved me. You saved these eggs..." She waved her head back to the eggs. "All just because you thought it was the right thing to do..."

"Well technically I was sent by Luna--"

"To kill me. But you didn't. You saved me instead. I will never forget that Sharky." I faltered for a moment. I had nothing to argue with that. I sighed.

"Look, I just did what anypony would've done if--"

"No you didn't. Others would have killed me, maybe me and Forge. You're special Sharky, I can tell." I was left speechless again.

"L-look, can you just not call me a hero? It make me feel... odd." Esmerelda nodded slowly and grinned at me.

"Very well, shall I call you savior?"

"What? N-no that--"

"How about my knight in shining armor? My champion? My--"

"How about your friend!" I laughed. Esmerelda's grin broadened and my robin stopped shaking on my shoulder.

"Very well, friend for now." What? "So, how are things for you?"

"Oh you know, pretty good. Just fought a vampire horde and all my friends are half-humans for some reason." Esmerelda frowned at me.

"Vampires? Do you mean vamponies? I thought those were wiped out of everywhere but the deadlands..." I gave her a curious look.

"What are the deadlands?"

"Oh, it's a horrible place that exists just outside of equestrian borders. It's filled with zomponies, vamponies, skeletons, and ghosts. It's a forgotten land that only exists in mare's tales nowadays."

"... So it's real, or a mare's tale?"

"It's real. All too real. Luckily the princesses have shielded it so that the dead don't escape."

"What if somepony goes in?" Esmerelda lowered her head sadly.

"They don't come out."

"That... That's horrible!" I found myself instinctively reaching for my sword.

"Yes, even dragons can be lost in that horrible place." She shuddered. "Anyway, you didn't come here to talk about that nightmare." I let out a deep breath and let go of the buster sword's handle.

"Right. Why did you call me here anyway?"

"Well... I just wanted to see you again..."

"Ok, here I am. How has your time here been?"

"Boring and lonely. This is just like my other cave, but warmer... The only socialization I've had since I last saw you was with these awful diamond dogs that refused to share any of their gems!"

"That doesn't suprise me. Well, did you manage to take any?"

"No! I'm going to starve I swear..."

"Well that won't do! C'mon, lets go get you some gems!" Esmerelda blinked at me.

"What?"

"Fly me to the gem mines so we can get you some gems!"

"What? You think you can just go get some gems?!"

"Well yeah."

"Then lets go!!" Esmerelda flashed towards me, grabbing me in her talons and flying out of the cave before I even knew we were moving. She grabbed Fang as she flew by him and somehow my robin was managing to hang onto my shoulder.

"Whoa! You must be hungry!!" Esmerelda seemed to not be able to hear me over the rushing wind, but she did lift me to her neck so that I could sit down. She lifted Fang to me too and I held onto him tightly. In less than a minute, we were at the gem mines. She landed quickly, causing a minor quake around her. Several areas around us all of the sudden caved in on themselves, likely areas where the diamond dogs had tunnels. "Uhh... try and be a little more gentle on the landing next time..." Esmerelda blushed through her scales and tried to hide her face behind one of her wings. I laughed and slid off of her neck with Fang. Sure enough, not a single diamond dog appeared. They were problably all terrified of the shake that Esmerelda just caused.

"I'm sorry Sharky... I'm just... so hungry..."

"Well you shoulda tried to contact me sooner." I looked around for the nearest hole. "Ah, there's one!" I found a hole about twenty feet away that hadn't caved in. "Geronimo!" I jumped in. Little did I know that it was like a thirty foot drop. I landed in a crouch, suprised to realize that I wasn't hurt. It was high noon, so even at the bottom of the hole I could see the sun. The place I had just landed branched off into four different tunnels. One in front of me, behind me, to my right, and one inbetween the one in front of me and the one to the right. I chose to head down the path behind me.

"Be careful Sharky!" Esmerelda shouted into the hole.

"Careful is my middle name!" I looked to my robin. "Hey, fly down that tunnel-" I pointed to the right tunnel. "-and see if you can find any gems. If you do, make some noise and I'll come find you. If you run into trouble, fly away and make some noise. I'll come help." The robin threw me a salute and flew off. "Ok Fang, you take that tunnel-" I pointed to the one in front of me. "-and make some noise if you find gems. If you find trouble... eh, if you find a lot of trouble, make some noise. If it's not too much... You know what to do." He gave me a wolfish grin and vanished down the path. I let out a breath and took off down my path. After following it for awhile, I came to a large room. I took one step in and wished I hadn't. "Well, looks like I won't have to worry about the others running into trouble..." The room was filled to the brim with diamond dogs. All of them had run in here from the shake I guess. They were all looking at me angrily.

Worship

"Hi..." I said nervously as I started backing away. A few diamond dogs started approaching me, growling viciously. I cautiously unsheathed my sword, but I held it to the side to appear unthreatening. The diamond dog closest to me, similar to a doberman pincher, leapt at me, fangs bared. I lifted my sword in defense, but before he hit me, another diamond dog flew from behind me. He tackled the doberman and they both rolled to a stop at the paws of the rest of the dogs. The second dog seemed vaguely familiar.

"No! This is the saver!" The second dog yelled at the doberman. The new one looked like a pug. The doberman's eyes widened.

"Saver?!" He looked at me. "You are the saver?!" I gave him a confused look.

"I'm the what?" The pug crawled off of the doberman and walked up to me.

"You save me! You save me and my friends from demon wolf!" All of the sudden I remembered the dog.

"Hey! You were the the dog Fang beat the crap out of!!" The pug shuddered.

"The beast had name... Fang. It try to kill me. You stop it! You saver!" I frowned.

"Wait but... Ohhhh.... Yes, I guess in a way I did save you." The pug nodded vigerously.

"Yes, and now you come to save us from scary shaking!" I continued to frown for a moment, then I got an idea.

"Yes, I did come to save you from the scary shaking! You see, on the surface there's a dragon!" I shouted. The dogs all gasped and cowered. "It has come to steal all your gems!"

"No!" A few dogs shouted at the same time. They all seemed to cower even more.

"Don't worry, I have a smart plan!" The dogs all quit their quivering and seemed to perk up their ears to listen to me. "Show me your gems!" The entirety of the diamond dogs all moved like a wave, pushing me down several tunnels until we reached a cavern easily big enough to put two football fields in it, and taller than Carousel Boutique. The whole entire room was filled with gems of every shape and size, every color except white. My jaw dropped in pure amazement.

"These our gems! We don't want dragon take them all!" Another random dog shouted. I shook my head and went back to my plan.

"Ok, here's my smart plan! We fill up four carts with these gems, and I'll tell the dragon it's all we have! Then she will leave us alone and you can keep almost all of your gems!" The diamond dogs looked at each other for a few moments, trying to grasp my plan. As they thought, their faces lit up.

"Oh! That very good plan!"

"This plan perfect! We keep most gems!"

"No dog have to be eaten by dragon!" They all shouted with glee at my 'clever plan'. Soon they cleared the tunnel behind me and came back with a few huge carts. They immediately set on filling the carts. In a matter of minutes, we had four carts filled to the brim with gems, hardly even denting the enormous pile. I led them back down to the first tunnel I had been in. I turned to the tunnels I had sent my pets down and yelled for them.

"Hey! Robin! Come back!" After a few seconds I heard a chirp from down the tunnel. I turned to Fang's tunnel and yelled again. "Hey buddy! Get back here!" I heard a bark from down the tunnel. In a few seconds, both of my pets appeared. Fang's appearance brought some cries of fear from the dogs.

"It's the Fang!"

"Please guys, could this little wolf be the Fang? You don't expect me to believe this small wolf beat up a bunch of you big, strong diamond dogs, do you?" The dogs all thought for a moment.

"Yes, there is no way this tiny thing beat us..."

"The true Fang is enormous!"

"His teeth are like diamonds!" I covered my mouth to supress a small laugh.

"Ok now, I will go up to talk to the dragon! When I call to you, send up the gems and my pets and I'll send the dragon on it's way!" The diamond dogs all cheered for me and I dug my blade into the side of the tunnel walls. I climbed out of the hole to find Esmerelda sitting right next to it.

"Sharky y--" I leapt out of the hole and pressed my hand to her mouth.

"Shhh..." She shut her mouth behind my hand and looked at me intently. "Ok, I've got four carts of gems for you, but I need you to stand over there, look intimidating, and sound mean." She gave me a confused look.

"What?"

"Don't ask what just do it!"

"Ok!" She turned and walked a few feet away.

"Oh mighty dragon! We bring you all of our gems!" I shouted out as loud as I could. Esmerelda had puffed up her chest and flared out her wings. She looked like a blue turkey. I had to supress a laugh, but I managed to keep myself calm.

"How much is there?!" She boomed, managing to sound suprisingly threatening.

"We have a humble four carts full..."

"What?! That is all you pathetic dogs have scrounged up?!" She mouthed 'sorry' to me.

"Please Oh mighty dragon, it is all we have!"

"Very well, I will accept it. Bring it to me!"

"Send up the carts!" I yelled down the hole. The four carts were all flung with suprising strength out of the hole, closely followed by Fang (in a cart) and my robin. My robin perched on my shoulder. They all landed just outside the hole. "I will never know how they do that..." I mumbled. "Here you go great dragon! I hope this meager offering appeases you!" Esmerelda tapped her chin with a foretalon.

"Not quite, I think... I'll take you as well!" She darted her head forward and snatched me up in her jaws. My robin tightened his grip so much that he drew a little blood. Then she grabbed each of the carts and flew away quickly.

"No! The saver! He gave himself to save our gems!" The pug cried.

"What a great hero! We must have thanks for him!" The doberman shouted determinedly. The diamond dogs gave a great cheer of agreement before all scattering into their tunnels to honor their new hero.

"WHAT THE HELL?!? Esmerelda?!" I yelled at Esmerelda as she carried me back to her lair. I could feel her grin around my midsection.

"Yuu'll be thine!" She muttered around my body. We soon landed back at her cave where she spat me out and set down her new gem carts. "See, here we are!" Esmerelda

"Back at your cave? Why did you bring us here?" Esmerelda frowned at me.

"Because?"

"Esmerelda, I was going to go home!" Esmerelda looked crestfallen.

"Already? We were just starting to spend some time together..."

"I know, but I have to get back soon."

"Ok... I'll just stay here... all alone... again..." Esmerelda muttered. I rolled my eyes and sighed.

"I guess I told Fluttershy I'd be home late at night anyway..." Esmerelda quickly grabbed me and hugged me to her chest.

"Oh thank you thank you thank you!" She cheered as she squeezed me. "Oh, that reminds me!" She pulled me away from her chest and kissed me on the cheek. A little odd considering the fact that her mouth was as big as my head, but I decided it was nice. "Thank you so much for the gems!"

"Geez, you're so freaking huge." I laughed. "You're welcome for the gems though!" Esmerelda gasped.

"Of course! I almost forgot!" Esmerelda placed me back on the ground. Suddenly blue flames burst out of her in every direction. I closed my eyes and flinched away as the flames roared in front of me.

"What the hell?!?" The flames stopped as soon as they started, and when I turned around... Esmerelda was gone. I looked around and even into the sky for her. "Esmerelda?! Esmerelda!! You can' be dead can you!?" Then I heard some throat clearing in front of me. I looked down, and there was a light blue pegasus with a shimmering dark blue mane. Her mane flowed down her back like a river before falling to her side and curling like a wave. She had Esmerelda's eyes.

"Hi Sharky!"

"... Esmerelda?" The pony smiled at me.

"Correct! Good job."

"Wha... bu... how?"

"It's a simple polymorph! All nice dragons can do it once they grow up!"

"... Then why the hell don't you live with the ponies!?!" Esmerelda frowned and looked at her hooves glumly.

"It only works for a short amount of time... We could never start a life with the short amount of time it gives us... We can't risk trying and turning back into dragons right in the middle of a town..."

"Why don't you just change once every few hours or something?"

"It only works once a day."

"Geez... Well, I'm outta ideas. Sorry..."

"It's ok. It's meant for more... special moments anyway. Like... if a dragon loves a pony..." I had to think for a moment before I understood what she meant.

"Whoa whoa, I thought dragons and ponies couldn't have kids! If you can just do that, then why were you so suprised about Blaze?"

"Well, to be honest... I've never seen a child produced from that kind of thing. Never before has there been a half-dragon pony. Blaze is... unique."

"Wow... that's very peculiar... I have a sudden desire to find out more..." Esmerelda winked at me.

"Me too." She waved her tail around a bit and moved closer to me.

"What are you doing?"

"Look, when you've lived as long as I have, you learn to recognize a compatible mortal quickly. When you do, you go for it while you can, otherwise you're just losing time."

"Riiiiggghhhtt... Well, who is this mortal? Oh balls, back off you scaly bitch!" Esmerelda stopped for a moment.

"You... You're kidding right?"

"Kidding about what?"

"... Dear Celestia... You... weren't just flirting with me about the half dragon stuff?"

"Oh, did it seem like that?! I'm so sorry! I'm just gonna go..." I backed away from Esmerelda, then turned around and walked to the edge of the ledge. "Bye." I stepped off the ledge. As soon as I started to fall, I turned to face the mountain and stabbed my blades into the rock. I slid to a gentle stop, clinging to the wall, before I continued down the mountain.

"Sharky?!" I could hear Esmerelda's hooves tapping against the stone ledge as she ran over to the edge to look for me. She found me scaling the mountain. "Oh my gosh! You scared me! I don't want you to leave!"

"Yeah, but now I feel kinda awkward for seeming like I'm flirting with you. Sorry! Maybe next time I'll spend more time with you!"

"... Am I not good enough to flirt with?" Esmerelda sounded sad.

"What? No! Of course you're good enough!"

"Then why are you running? I didn't mind the flirting... I was hoping you were flirting acually!"

"What?"

"Yeah! I liked it!"

"What?!"

"Pleaaaaseeee come back?!"

"What?! I can't hear you!! Oh well, bye! I'll see you later Esmerelda!" There was a roaring wind heading right up the mountain. I couldn't hear Esmerelda over the wind, but I knew at the very least she could hear me. I saw her facehoof though.

"That's... inconvinient..." Esmerelda sighed. "It's obvious today was not my day... I'll try again later I suppose." Esmerelda sadly trotted back into her cave, alone.

I finished climbing down the mountain and walked to Fluttershy's house. I managed to catch my breath on the walk. I knocked on Fluttershy's door, and Fluttershy pulled it open rather quickly. She was still half human.

"Hi Fluttershy! Did I ever get to tell you how good you look in those clothes?" Fluttershy blushed and hid her face in her tail.

"S-sharky!? B-back already? That's a very s-sweet thing to say..." Fluttershy seemed to swing from suprise to shyness very quickly.

"Yeah, Rarity did a great job. You look fantastic. Anyway, I came to see Unity real quick before I went to the market." Fluttershy frowned.

"You h-have to go to the market?"

"Well yeah. We're almost out of bottles and powdered chocolate. I need to get more. Do you need anything?"

"N-no... but I can just g-go to the market for you..."

"Nonsense, I've got it. I'll be back in no time after I just see Unity."

"Ok, h-hold on..." Fluttershy took a few steps into the house before coming back out. She was holding Unity in her arms. He smiled at me and gurgled a little. I grinned at him and took him in my arms.

"Hey guy. Good to see you again." I kissed him on his forehead and got another load of giggling from him. I grinned even wider and handed him back to Fluttershy. "I'll be back soon little buddy." I gave Fluttershy a quick hug, then I was gone. I walked all the way back to town. I had no idea where Fang or my robin had gone, but they left. I was on my way back to Twilight's library to get some of my pay. Unfortunately, I ran into my favorite maroon newspony on the way.

"Look! There he is!" A random camera crew came out of nowhere and started taking pictures. I shielded my eyes and stumbled away, only to run into the news mare that had appeared behind me.

"Oh crap, not you guys again!"

"Sharky! How nice to run into you!" Th mare grinned at me with a huge genuine smile. "We've got a few questions if you don't mind!"

"Oh no, please ask away." I made sure to lay the sarcasm on thick.

"Good good, what are your thoughts on the cult worshipping you?"

"... I'm sorry, what?"

Reveal

"What the hell are you talking about?!" I yelled at the news mare. She didn't even flinch.

"So, you claim to have no knowledge of your growing religious group?"

"Why in hell would somepony worship me?! I'm no god! Heck, I'm not even good or pure!!"

"Oh? Have you done anything recently that would be considered impure or wrong?"

"... I stole some gems from diamond dogs..." The mare grinned at me.

"That's not wrong in the least! Diamond dogs are theives that refuse to even share the few gems we need! What did you do with these gems?"

"...... I gave them to a friend..." The mare's grin expanded even further.

"See?! You can't even do something bad! That's why you're our big news-making hero! Smile!" A few more camera flashes went off before the news team vanished again. I groaned loudly and face-palmed.

"Well that went well..." I muttered dumbly as the news crew fled. "A cult... This can't be good..." I rubbed my temples as a throbbing pain started up. "I swear, this world is going to freaking kill me before any monster can..." I continued my walk back to the library. "Why me... Why in hell do I get to come here just to deal with shit like this?" I griped until I finally reached Twilight's library. I knocked on the door and it was opened after a few seconds. Twilight wasn't wearing her dress, and she seemed shocked to see me.

"Oh! Sharky! I'm so sorry, I'll go--"

"Don't bother, I'm going to be in and out anyway. Ha!" I walked in and right up to the bedroom.

"What? What's wrong?"

"I'm not a god Twilight. Why in hell does everypony look up to me?" I shouted down the staircase as I entered the bedroom. "Where's my coin bag?"

"It's under your bed! What are you talking about?" I jumped up the little ledge and fell to the floor to see under my bed.

"Did you hear about my cult? Apparently I have a cult now." I heard Twilight's hooves on the steps as she followed me.

"Well, I read about something like that in the paper, but I didn't think it was serious..."

"Yeah, well apparently I do. Why in the name of almighty Celestia would somepony worship me?"

"Well... you do have a knack for doing the impossible..."

"Even if I did, that wouldn't make me a god!"

"Well, maybe ponies just really like you and it got to their heads. I'm sure it'll pass soon." I reached into the bag under my bed and grabbed a handful of bits. Without even bothering to count them, I put them in the smaller pouch at my hip and stood back up.

"Hey, Sharky... Can we talk?" Twilight asked sheepishly. I sighed and sat down on the edge of my bed.

"Yeah, I've got some time. Get your clothes on and we can talk."

"Uhh... Ok... but... my dress is next to your bed..." She mumbled quietly. I looked around for a second, and sure enough, Twilight's dress was next to the bed, right by my feet. I squinted at it in confusion.

"What's it doing here? Wait a minute... did you... in his bed? ... BWAHAHAHA!!!"

"It's not like that Steven!"

"Not like what? Oh, this outta be good."

"Well... uh... nothing... it's nothing."

"It doesn't sound like nothing..."

"Oh... dear... Well... I was testing a theory..."

"What would that be?"

"... I thought if male humans... were sexually arousable at any time... maybe females were too..." I slowly looked back and forth inbetween her dress and my bed.

"Ok, seems legit."

"What?! You aren't mad?! Or disgusted or... Something?!" I shook my head.

"Nah, it's perfectly normal. I'd be lying if I said I'd never done the same thing. Just uhh... be careful how far you throw your clothes ok? What? Oh hell no. He thinks it's over here by accident!" I grabbed Twilight's dress and threw it over my shoulder. "Anyway, get dressed and we can talk." Twilight fell to her knees in shock. She dully picked up her dress and put it on. She slowly walked towards me, the tap of her hooves getting louder as she approached. Suddenly, I felt arms around my neck. Twilight was sitting on my bed and hugging me from behind.

"Dear Celestia Sharky... You're so stupid... but so smart... I don't know what to do..."

"Twilight, what are you talking about?" Twilight sighed into my ear.

"Look Sharky, I need to tell you something... I wanted to tell you this for a long time." Twilight slid around my back and sat in my lap. I cradled her in my arms and gave her all of my attention. She placed both of her hands on both sides of my face and looked into my eyes. "Sharky. I like you."

"Well I like you too Twilight!" Twilight shook her head and gave me a soft smile.

"You don't understand. Let me show you..." Twilight pulled my head down and she moved her head up at the same time. She pressed her lips against mine and kissed me. My brain failed to function for a few moments. It didn't make sense, Twilight was my friend, she wasn't supposed to like me. Then, all of the sudden every single little odd thing she had done made sense. Her tripping on purpose to have a hurt leg, her being mad that I wanted to take multiple friends to the new year's party, her sadness everytime I called her friend, her sudden intrest in taking the form of a human. Everything connected, like a giant puzzle in my head suddenly putting itself together. Twilight was in love with me this whole time! All of the sudden I knew this was my dream coming true, one of my favorite girls in the world liked me back! I closed my eyes and put my hands around Twilight to pull her even closer to me. She placed a hand on my chest in suprise before she went back to kissing me.

"Twilight..." I muttered as she pulled away from me. I opened my eyes, and to my suprise, Twilight was crying. "Twilight?! What's wrong?" We took our hands off of each other and I caught a tear on her cheek.

"That kiss was everything I wanted it to be..." She sobbed.

"Then what's wrong? I like you too!" Twilight shook her head.

I love him... but I won't cheat my friends like this... Twilight thought to herself.

"No you don't..." A wave of magic flowed from Twilight's horn and hit me in the face. I wasn't sure what was going on, but then my memories slowly started fading. Then I remembered exactly what was going on. I had just told Twilight to get her clothes on so that we could talk. I didn't remember her crawling in my lap, but she was there now.

"So, what did you want to talk about Twilight?" I noticed tears in her eyes. "Whoa, why are you crying?" Twilight shook her head quietly.

"No reason... I just needed comfort. Thank you..." I scrunched up my brow in confusion.

"Umm... You're welcome... glad I could help. Well, I have to go to the market." I moved Twilight over to my side and stood up. "Don't think you fool me Twilight! I know what just happened... You mind-wiped Sharky!" Twilight's eyes widened.

"Oh no..."

"Oh yes! You better watch it, now, why would you bother to erase his memory hmm?! Hmm? Is something wrong Twilight?"

"No reason..." Twilight's mouth was hanging open in fear.

"No reason for what? You would never do this if it was for you... Ah, I'll bet this has something to do with the other girls, doesn't it?!"

"H-how'd you know about them?!"

"I didn't. I just guessed. I know now! What? Who's them?" Twilight covered her mouth.

"Oh no... no no no..."

"... Riiiiiiight... well, I've got to go. I'll see you later Twi! Mwahahaha... Let's hope the others don't hear about this..."

"Oh my..."

I spent the next two hours at the market, trying to get the salesponies to let me pay them for their products even though I was a 'hero'. By the time I was done and had made it back to Futtershy's house, it was pitch black outside. I quickly rushed into the house and went to go put the plain clear glass bottles and powdered chocolate away. As soon as I was done, I went to go look for Fluttershy. I found her curled up in her bed with Unity. Fang was sleeping at the foot of the bed and my robin was perched on the headboard. I smiled at them, then realized that Fluttershy was a pony again!

"Huh, I guess that spell finally wore off. Good, I'm glad to see them back to normal." I mumbled quietly to myself. I walked over to the bed and laid down on the floor next to it. My stomach growled and I silently scolded myself for only eating one meal again. I resolved to eat all my meals tomorrow, then let myself fall asleep.

Sunday, Febuary 3rd

I woke up to find Fluttershy strapping saddlebags to herself just a few feet away from me.

"Whoa, hey Shy! What's up with the saddlebags?" Fluttershy seemed to be in a really big hurry, she didn't even look at me.

"I'm very s-sorry, but I need to make a special meal f-for Angel... I'm going to the market, then I'll be right back."

"You sure? I could go for you ya know." Fluttershy shook her head.

"N-no, I'll be fine..."

"Well don't you have a spa day with Rarity today?"

"N-no... Rarity is spending time with Pinkie Pie today... Lucky for h-her the spell wore off last night..."

"Yeah, that reminds me, why did you all have that spell on you in the first place?" Fluttershy's face was slowly enveloped by a deep red blush. She hid her face in her mane.

"It was an experiment for T-twilight..."

"Ah, that makes sense. Have fun at the market." Fluttershy nodded quickly before darting out of the bedroom. I let out a deep breath and stretched all my limbs. With a few cracks, my body loosened up a little. I walked over to Unity's crib to see that he was still asleep... and he was made out of stone. I was worried for a moment, but then he yawned and stretched. He wasn't really rock, just another illusion. "I swear kid, you're going to give me a heart attack." Fang was still asleep at the foot of the bed, even my robin was still sleeping on the headboard. "I guess you're all really tired huh? Well, no sense in waiting here for you to wake up." I left the room and walked into the kitchen again. I made myself a simple breakfast of toast and eggs. I sat down in the living room to eat.

"No you don't..." A small voice hissed out of nowhere. I jumped to my feet and rapidly looked around for the source of the sound. the only things nearby were the birds and bunnies.

"Who's there?!" shouted to the empty room. Unity started crying in the bedroom. I smacked myself for my stupidity.

"Calm down Sharky, you're just hearing things." I walked into the bedroom and picked Unity up, only to find out he was really as heavy as a huge rock! "Whoa!" I stumbled into the living room, struggling to get a firm grasp on Unity. since he was crying, he was kicking and punching as well. His impressive weight combined with the struggling was making it very difficult to hold him. I sighed and moved him over to a chair. I put him down in it, causing the chair to collapse. I groaned and rubbed my temples. I walked into the kitchen and quickly made Unity a bottle. I brought it out to him and as soon as he was sucking down the milk, the stone started to fade away and he stopped struggling. I sighed in relief and picked him up again. I walked over to an unbroken chair and cradled Unity while he drank his milk. After that, I got to just sit and relax for the first time in the entire time I had been here. Fang and my robin went to play in the forest, Unity was content to lie in my arms and suck on his paw, and I had nowhere to go, nothing to fight, nopony to please. I was finally, free to rest.

Dear god I was bored.

At around lunch, Fluttershy finally showed back up as I was cooking some more eggs for myself and making another bottle for Unity.

"Sharky! I'm s-sorry I took so long to get b-back, Rarity and Pinkie Pie were t-teaching me to n-not be a doormat..." Fluttershy called as she opened the door.

"What? They think you're ... Actually I see their point. Well, how'd it go?" Fluttershy trotted into the kitchen, quickly emptying the contents of her bags onto the counters with her wings.

"Oh... Not to well... I didn't get everything I n-needed for Angel's f-food..."

"I'm sure he'll understand if it's missing a few things."

*Ten minutes later*

"Holy fuck, did you just throw Fluttershy out a window?!" I yelled at the deranged little bunny that had just assulted it's owner over a cherry. I was torn between bitch-slapping the hell out of the bunny, and going to see if Fluttershy was ok. I decided to do the former. I grabbed the little bunny by the ears and lifted him to my face. "What the hell?!" I hissed at him. He gave me a blank expression and tried to slap me. I held him back at arms length to keep him from hitting me. "Dude, Fluttershy is like your mom! Why did you just do t--"

"With Celestia as my witness, I'm never going to be a pushover again!" I heard Fluttershy yell outside.

"What the heck?"

Mental Attacks

I dropped the little white bunny and headed out to Fluttershy.

"Fluttershy? Are you ok?" Fluttershy turned towards me and hid in her mane again.

"Oh... I-I'm fine Sharky... I just... I need to go on a little t-trip... Would you mind watching my animals while I'm gone? I shouldn't be m-more than an hour or t-two..."

"Sure. That shouldn't be too hard. Have fun on whatever trip this is." Fluttershy gave me a puzzled look.

"You... you aren't even g-going to ask where I'm heading?"

"Nope, that's your buisness. Besides, it seems only fair that I don't know where you go sometimes. After all, you never know where I'm going." Fluttershy opened her mouth to respond, but then she just smiled and shook her head.

"I s-see your point... Well... I guess I'd better get ready..." Within minutes, I was waving goodbye to Fluttershy from the front door. I breathed out sadly as she disappeared from sight. Now I was all alone... or at least there was nothing with me that could talk. I turned around to walk back into the living room... to find Unity flying around the room. Carried by a giant butterfly.

"Oh... Well, this doesn't seem dangerous I suppose..." Unity was screaming and giggling happily. I followed the butterfly cautiously for a while to make sure if it dropped Unity I could catch him. Right as the enormous butterfly put Unity on the ground, I heard knocking at the door. "Now who could that be?" I walked over to the door and opened it to reveal Sweetiebelle.

"Oh, hi Mr. Sharky! What're you doing here?" Sweetibelle asked innocently. Scootaloo and Applebloom popped up from directly behind her somehow.

"Hey Sharky! I'm glad to see you again!" Scootaloo waved at me. I quickly swung the door so that the girls couldn't see into the house, only I was visible. I put on a huge grin and prayed that Unity didn't choose now to do something chaotic.

"Hi girls! It's good to see you too!" I cheered in and overly-happy tone. "I live here now, that's why I'm here!"

"Well hold on! Mah sis told me ya lived in the library!" Applebloom pointed an accusing hoof at me.

"I used to, but I moved here very recently. Why are you girls here?"

"We came to see if we could hang out at Fluttershy's house! My sister is out with Pinkie Pie, Applebloom has the day off today, and Scootaloo thought that maybe we had animal related talents!" Sweetiebelle gushed. "Can you get Fluttershy so she can help us?"

"I'm sorry girls, Fluttershy left. It's just me, my son, and the animals right now." Sweetibelle and Applebloom started jumping up and down.

"Ohhh! Can Ah play with your son? Scoots said he was real fun!" Applebloom pleaded.

"Yeah! I wanna play with him too!" Sweetiebelle added. I almost said yes before I remembered that Unity wasn't wearing his disguise.

"Uhh... No, I'm sorry. He isn't feeling well and I don't want to upset him with too much activity..." The three girls looked crestfallen.

"Awwww...." They sighed together.

"Well... Sorry to bother you Sharky..." Sweetibelle mumbled.

"Yeah... Sorry girls, I'm sure Fluttershy will be back later." I closed the door as the CMC slowly trotted away. I sighed in relief at the close shave. "I need to find a better way to keep Unity hidden. He can't just wear the disguise all the time, it's getting too warm..." I sighed again and decided it was a problem for another day. I went back into the kitchen and got the eggs I had made for myself. Unity had already drank the bottle, so I put him down for an afternoon nap. With my pets out playing, my son asleep, and nothing to bother me, I decided to get a little extra sleep myself. I curled up in Fluttershy's bed and dozed off within minutes.

I woke up to the sound of a large blast of water. I jumped out of the bed and rapidly looked around for some sort of water monster or flood that might have been caused by Unity. To my suprise, there was nothing wrong with the room. Unity was still sleeping in his crib. I walked out of the bedroom, but nothing was wrong with the living room either. I looked out the front door, and I saw a old-looking stallion with a brown coat, a little hat, and a small blanket draped over his back. He was sitting on the ground, clearly soaked and upset.

"Whoa! What happened to you?" I called to the old pony. He squinted at me, then seemed to realize who I was.

"Hey! You're that hero feller! You won't believe this, that little pegasus lady darn near blew up my hose!" I walked out of the house to him.

"What little pegasus lady?"

"The one that lives here. Fluttershy." I paused for a second before proceeding to laugh my ass off.

"HA HA HA HA! Look sir, I mean no disrespect, but there's no way Fluttershy did this!"

"I swear she did! I guess she was tired of me overwatering her garden..." I looked to the enormous puddle of water that had a few flowers in it.

"Well when you put it like that... I see why she might have done that. Well, I'm sorry sir. Can I help you in any way?"

"Nah, I'm fine sonny. Just a little wet." The stallion got to his hooves and shook himself off, splashing me with little bits of water. He slowly trudged away I scratched my head and shrugged. "Fluttershy... hmm..." I walked back into the house and sat down in the living room. I was happy to see that the animals were all out in the open, not hiding like before.

"You guys all used to me now?" I asked. A few animals nodded in response. I grinned and sat down in a small chair. I stretched out and relaxed until a familiar little white bunny hopped over to me. Angel held up a box to me. I grabbed it from him and looked at it. "Pet food pellets. You want me to feed you guys?"

The bunny nodded eagerly.

"Oh really? Will you eat it insted of trying to throw me out a window?"

Angel frowned and hung his head. He kicked his feet guiltily.

"Do you feel bad about what you did?"

Angel nodded.

"Ok, I guess I could give you food. How does Fluttershy do this?"

Angel grabbed my pants leg and pulled me to the center of the room. He guestured at me to tip the box over. I popped a tab open on the side and tipped the box over so that some of the contents spilled on the floor. A bunch of animals instantly jumped at the green cylinders, but Angel tapped his foot and gave me a disapproving look. He pointed to the box and back to the floor a few times. When all the animals cleared around the area I had poured the pellets in and looked at me hopefully, I understood.

"Oh! I didn't put enough food down!" I tipped the box over again and spilled a more generous amount of pellets on the ground. As I poured, a few animals jumped at the box, but they weren't strong enough to knock it out of my hand. As soon as there was a decent pile on the ground, I stopped pouring and took the box to the pantry. I put it next to the rest of the boxes and--

"I like you too!"

As the voice spoke, I felt a searing pain split through my head like a bolt. I grabbed my head and fell to the side in pain. In my fall my sword broke out of my makeshift holster and clattered against the ground. I found myself writhing on the ground in pain for a moment until it stopped. In a moment, the pain was gone as quickly as it had come. I stood up, still rubbing my throbbing head.

"W... was that... me?" The voice had sounded like my own, but there was no way that could be right! "What the hell is going on? Damn man, why the hell'd you do that?" I searched the house for a sign of the voice, but I couldn't find anything other than the animals chowing down in the living room and my son in his crib. I couldn't help but wonder where in the hell my pets were, but considering the fact that it was spring, I didn't have to think too hard to figure it out. I shrugged off the mysterious voice and went back to my son. He had been awake when I was searching the house, but I hadn't stopped my search for him at the time. I picked him up and carried him into the living room when I heard the sound of hooves and wheels from outside.

"Here you go ma'am! That'll be twenty bits, please." I heard a stallion call from outside.

"Twenty bits?! That's ridiculous!" I heard a voice that sounded oddly like Fluttershy yell back.

"I'm sorry ma'am, that's just the price!"

"I know what you're doing! You're trying to take advantage of me because you think I'm a pushover!!"

"What? N-no ma'am!"

"New Fluttershy won't have it!" Then some very rough cartoonish fighting sounds erupted from outside. My jaw dropped and I stared blankly at the door.

"Holy cow. There's no way that's Fluttershy. Damn, bitch got some balls." I heard the sound of hooves running as fast as they could into the distance, and soon Fluttershy opened the door. I quickly closed my jaw and rocked back in my chair.

"Hi Sharky!" She shouted cheerfully.

"H-hi Fluttershy... How are you?" Fluttershy gave me a cheerful smile.

"I feel great! I feel like a whole new me!"

"Right... good to hear I suppose..."

"Oh, it is great! I'm never going to be called a doormat by anypony again!"

"Fluttershy, who called you a doormat?" Fluttershy faltered and sat down on her hind legs.

"Just about everypony I bet... I learned today that everypony takes advantage of me because I didn't fight back..."

"What? That can't be right."

"It's true! Everypony pushes me out of the way in lines, I get over-charged at stalls, even my friends say I'm a doormat..." She let out a long shuddering sigh before standing up and walking towards me. "That's why I left today. I went to an assertiveness seminar so I'd never be a pushover again."

"... Oh dear god... assertive Fluttershy. This can only result in bad." Fluttershy frowned at me.

"Are you saying you don't like the new Fluttershy?"

"Uhhh... No, no I didn't say that..." I stuttered nervously, terrified of the apocalyptic implications of Fluttershy being assertive. Fluttershy seemed to sigh in relief.

"Good, I was hoping you'd like new Fluttershy..."

"Ok, well... Like is... a bit strong. Maybe I should get to know how this new Fluttershy acts before we say I like her." Fluttershy stuck out her lower lip in a pout.

"Aww... well, I think we should spend some time together then. Don't we have a date?"

"Yeah, I think we do..." Fluttershy was walking towards me quickly, an odd smile on her face.

"Well, let's get to it!" She cheered happily. I found myself leaning as far back in my chair as I could even though she was still a few feet away from me. Her new attitude sounded dangerous considering what I had heard earlier. First the gardener, now that fight outside. I was beginning to worry for her safety in my presence. I wasn't worried for me, just worried she'd hurt herself trying to fight me. She kept coming towards me, but she didn't look agressive so I let myself relax a little.

"Right, date it is."

"Well, that wasn't terrible." Fluttershy and I had spent an hour cleaning and caring for all the animals. I had seen more rabbit dung then I ever needed, but the entire time Fluttershy had been supportive of my efforts and kind to the animals.

"Yeah... I had fun." Fluttershy held up the chicken we had just given first aid to. He had broken his wing trying to fly off the chicken coop. "Ok now, try not to hurt youself like this again..." She spoke softly to the chicken. He clucked cluelessly and tried to flap away from Fluttershy. We both laughed at him and Fluttershy put him back down on the floor. Unity had eaten dinner and gone to bed a while ago. Fluttershy hadn't left my side once since we had started caring for the animals. She was taking every chance she could to rub against my side or send me a smile. If she wasn't my friend, I might have thought she was flirting with me. I saw an enormous butterfly fall from the ceiling next to the front door, most likely dead. I didn't pause to think about it though.

"Well, I'll be honest. I was worried about the new Fluttershy, but this was really fun. I think I like her." Fluttershy beamed happily and hugged me.

"Well I like you too Sharky. In fact, if we could schedule another date..."

"What's wrong Twilight?"

I lurched away from Fluttershy and fell to the ground in pain. My head felt like it was on fire and being pounded by a hammer at the same time. The voice was mine again, but I didn't know how it was possible. I could vaugely tell that my mouth was open, and I could hear screaming. It sounded distant and unreal. Tears formed in my eyes and I rolled around in pain. I could vaguely tell Fluttershy was panicking in front of me, but I didn't care. Suddenly, the pain was gone and I was left laying on the floor gasping in shock.

"Sharky! Sharky what's going on?!" Fluttershy yelled fearfully. I slowly calmed myself down and stood up. The wings I had copied from Fluttershy flapped lamely as I regained my breath.

"I'm fine, I'm fine..." I assured her as I got to my feet.

"No you aren't! You were just screaming and flailing in pain! What happened?!"

"I... I don't know... I think I need to lay down. Normally I'd call you a pansy, but I think you're right. Something is very wrong with you, and I don't want you damaging my body!" Fluttershy quickly started pushing me towards the bedroom.

"Then get in bed! I don't want you to get hurt!" I laughed a little and walked to the bed. I laid down on the floor next to it and tried to get comfortable. "What are you doing?"

"Laying down." Fluttershy rolled her eyes and sighed.

"On the bed."

"But that's y--"

"I said on the bed!" I jumped up in suprise and crawled into the bed like she commanded. She proceeded to snuggle in next to me.

Fuck! Not spooning again! Damn these girls for teasing me like this! I thought to myself.

"Fluttershy, do you have t--"

"Yes." She even had the audacity to cut me off! I had to guess that the assertiveness seminar was sucessful. Maybe too sucessful. I let out a long sigh and resigned myself to sleeping with Fluttershy like this. On the bright side, at least they had cold showers here. It was a long and hard wait, but eventually I managed to make myself fall asleep.

"Ha, long and hard."

Desert

Monday, Febuary 4th

I groaned as I finally started waking up. I had been having a nice dream, but I couldn't remember what it was about now. I cut off my groan as soon as I realze Fluttershy was still curled up against me, asleep. I wiggled myself around a bit to settle in next to her more comfortably. I looked around the room briefly, and to my relief, Fang was asleep at the bottom of the bed and my robin was on the headboard. I had no idea where they had gone yesterday, but it didn't really matter as long as they were safe. I slowly eased myself away from Fluttershy and off of the bed. As soon as I stopped pressing my body against hers, her wing popped out. It was perfectly straight, even the feathers seemed to be trying to point straight up. I let out a low laugh as I walked away from her. Somehow I had managed to keep myself under control, so my wings I copied from Fluttershy stayed tucked against my back neatly. I still opted to take a shower and relieve myself while everypony slept.

"Finally, a warm shower..." I mumbled as the steaming water rolled down my back. I scrubbed myself clean and stepped out of the shower.

*--ELUJAH!!* My phone called from my pants that were still laying on the ground where I left them. I quickly picked up the phone and hit the answer call button. The screen was covered in steam, but only one pony could call my phone, so I knew who it was.

"Hiya Luna. What's u-- I mean how are you?"

"Sharky? Is that thou? I can't see thou..." I looked around for a towel really quick. I found a plain white towel hanging on a bar next to the shower, and I used it to wipe the screen clean before wrapping it around my waist. "Ah, much better. I am doing fine Sharky, and how art thou?"

"I'm doing great Luna. Hey, it's been three days hasn't it? Are you calling for a mission?" Luna nodded slowly.

"More or less. We-- I am sending you on a mission of diplomacy rather than a fighting mission."

"Ok, I think maybe I can handle that. Who am I talking to?"

"I assume thou hath heard of thine followers?"

"... Ohhhhh no. They haven't done something bad have they? Oh dammit, I knew this couldn't be good!" I punched the wooden walls of the bathroom, causing it to splinter around my fist. Luna blinked a few times before letting out a hearty laugh.

"Ah hahahaha! Sharky, the exact opposite holds true! Your followers strive to be like you, they strive to be warriors that protect others! They are in fact, an enormous help to Equestria's safety."

"Then what could be the problem?"

"Well... While they strive to be good warriors, often they are untrained and clumsy."

"They damage things and you need me to get them to stop?"

"No, tis not that. Luckily they don't damage much. Hay, they haven't even had large casualties."

"Ok, then I really don't see the problem... Other than the false worship..."

"A large group of them are on their way outside of Equestria..."

"Crap, are they about to start a war or s--"

"Let us finish!!" Luna shouted. I shut my mouth and motioned for her to continue talking. "Thank thou. Now, they are in no danger of losing their lives immediately; The direction they are heading holds no enemy nation. However, if they continue on this path, each and every one of them shall lose their life to something far worse.." My jaw dropped.

"Whoa! Where are they heading?!"

"I cannot tell thou. It is a secret place, meant to never be found. I need thou to go to them and get them to turn back. If thou cannot do this, they will all die."

"Send me! I gotta go to them now!" I paused for a moment and looked down at my naked body. "Actually, let me get dressed first." Luna gave me a confused look.

"Thou never wear a shirt anyway. Why does this matter now?" I moved the phone so that Luna could see the rest of me, covered only by a towel around my waist. A light blush covered Luna's cheeks. "Oh! Thou were showering... I apologize, call back when thou art ready to travel. I nodded before hanging up. I quickly pulled my pants on and put my gauntlets on as well. I ran into the kitchen and grabbed my sword... after face-palming myself for leaving it there. Fluttershy stumbled into the kitchen as I grabbed my sword. Her wings were still straight out and her mane was a cluttered mess.

"*Yawn* Sharky? What are you doing up so early?"

"I don't have much time to talk Fluttershy. If I don't go somewhere now, a bunch of ponies will die. Take care of Unity while I'm gone, I will most likely be back soon. I'm just talking." Fluttershy seemed to take a few seconds before her foggy mind could process what I just said.

"Oh no, you aren't leaving. You were sick last night. You're staying here."

"Uh, no. I'm leaving. Their lives depend on me."

"No! You don't have to save them! You don't need to..." I flashed Fluttershy a huge grin.

"Oh, but I do. I'm a good guy Fluttershy, like in stories. I have to do the right thing."

"B-but why?" She stuttered out. Odd for the 'New Fluttershy'. I paused for a moment.

"Because it feels like the right thing to do. I feel like I have to do the right thing. It's funny, in my old world I always wanted to do good, but here it feels like I have to. Well, goodbye." I whipped out my phone and called Luna in record time. I was getting better at that. "Hi Luna, I'm ready to go." Before fluttershy could react, I was gone in a flash of black light.

Suddenly, the area around my was exponentially brighter than Fluttershy's house. I shielded my eyes and blinked a few times to adjust my eyes. I realized it was hot, very hot. Hot enough to make me glad that I wasn't wearing a shirt. Not as hot as a burning building, but warmer than a hot summer day. I squinted and looked around as soon as I was able. I saw nothing but sand in front of me. I kept my eyes covered and slowly turned. All I could see in every direction was sand and a bit of dried grass. Once a lizard scurried across my field of vision, but that was it. I looked up so that I could see farther. Great dunes dotted the landscape, sand as far as the eye could see. Until I turned to the north-west. (what I assumed was north west anyway. I still wasn't sure if the sun worked the same way as it did on earth.) To the north west, I saw a group of white dots on the horizon. Heat waved the air around them, causing the white dots to bounce and wave around. As I stare at them, the white dots became larger and more solid. They seemed to notice me, then they started approaching me much more quickly.

"-- him!" I heard a faint yell in the distance, coming from the dots. I held my sword up readily, but I lowered it as the shouts started making more sense.

"Sharky!"

"The great hero!"

"It's him!" I sighed as I realized these were the members of my cult. They quickly ran to me, and I realized that all of them were white. Mostly because they were all wearing thin white blankets and hats over themselves. Most likely to deflect the sunlight, or a cult uniform. I sincerely hoped it was the first option. The first pony, a simply earth pony from the looks of it, reached me.

"I-It's really *gasp* you!" She shouted. From the sound of the voice, I could tell she was a mare. From what I could see, she had an orange coat, but I couldn't see her mane.

"Yeah, it's me. You all need to turn around and leave." The mare squinted at me.

"What? Why would you say that? We're trying to help all of pony kind! Like you!" More of the group started to catch up.

"Hey it's Sharky!"

"Long live Sharky!"

"Are you here to help us?!" I held up my hands to quiet the crowd. They all instant fell slilent an appeared to be ready to hang onto my every word. I waited for the last of the group to catch up, then started talking.

"Look, first of all, this cult worship thing, it stops now." The ponies all gave each other confused looks, then burst out laughing. My face contorted in confusion as I waited for the laughing to stop. As soon as it finally died down, the mare that had first reached me spoke up.

"We don't worship you! We just believe that eveypony should strive to be as good a you are! That's why we fight to protect Equestria!" That stopped me cold.

"... Oh. Well, that's ok then. You don't need to fight though. There are soldiers for that..."

"Well, soldiers can't do everything! We can stop monsters right away, whereas soldiers have to be summoned and deployed!" Another mare called from the middle of the crowd. This one was a pegasus. I had to give her credit for her logic.

"Well, that's a good point, but it doesn't matter right now. Look you all need to turn around. Now."

"Why would we do that?" The first mare asked.

` "If you keep going this way, you'll all die!" The ponies all looked at each other again before bursting into another fit of giggles. I waited for it to quiet down again.

"We don't have to worry about that! We're on a mission! Some of us may be lost, sure, but it will be worth it!" A stallion at the back shouted. There was a chorus of agreement noises.

"Besides, we have this to protect us!" Another stallion called. He opened a huge white and gray box they had been carrying. Inside, there was a large double-headed battle axe far too big for a pony to use. On the blade, there was a silver moon that sparkled with a benevolent energy. I walked over to it and lifted it out of the box.

"No way..." I muttered. This was the axe I had left behind when I fought the Ursa Minor! How in the heck did they get in and where'd the moon come from? I passed my void over it, but no magic came out of it to me. There was obviously magic in it, but my void wouldn't copy it.

"Yes Sharky, this is your axe. The silver symbolizes our belief in you. You are our hero Sharky, and we would be honored if you would lead us in this, our greatest of victories." A deep gravely voice spoke up. He had the tone of a leader, and was most likely leading this group. There were anxious murmurs of agreement and support. I gently traced a finger over the glimmering silver.

"What victory?" I turned to face the speaking stallion. He was a large unicorn, colored gray. I couldn't tell if he was gray from age or if it was simply his color. He was definitely old, but he was very muscular and healthy looking for his age.

"Our cleansing of the forbidden realm. We have received word that somepony has found Libro Mors. We plan to enter the forbidden realm and stop that pony from releasing a plague upon Equestria!"

"Well hold on guys, that sounds dangerous. It's my job to protect you guys." The stallion gave me a broad grin.

"Then you won't have a problem accompanying us for safety! Onward my fellow ponies! Equestria needs us!" The stallion gave a mighty whinny and took off into the desert. The rest of the ponies all cheered and took off after him.

"Oh dammit you psychotic bastards! No! Wait, it's not safe!" I took off after the company of ponies, my Buster sword in my right hand and my axe in my left. Luckily they had though enough to build a strap for the axe, so all I had to do was strap it to my back as I ran. "*sigh* Looks like I'll be a little later than I thought Fluttershy..."

Friday, Febuary 8th

Four days. I had been traveling through the desert for four days. It was hot, dry, and unchanging. I missed my friends and family, but I couldn't leave these ponies to die. I didn't really have any idea where we were. Whenever I asked, I only received a cryptic 'to the forbidden realm'. Luckily, these crazy ponies brought plenty of food and water. We were living on mainly dried fruit, but it was enough. I was wondering how worried the girls must be. I had called Luna and told her I had to travel with them and persuade them to turn around. She had promised to tell the girls not to worry, but she sounded worried herself. The leader was the gray unicorn stallion. He had told me his name was Anubis, but I didn't bother to learn about anypony else. This small group was strangely well equipped too. Everypony had a blade of some kind and light leather armor. Today, we were again looking at a great expanse of sand. No landmarks in sight. I sighed and stepped forward, but Anubis stopped me with a hoof.

"Stop." He commanded. I looked forward to see the problem, but all I could see was the heat waves rising off the sand.

"Why?" I asked irritably. One can only take so much sand. He gave me an excited, almost manic look.

"We're here!" He declared happily. I gave him a confused look and searched around quickly. There was nothing but sand in every direction.

"Uhh... I expected more."

"Look closer..." I looked forward more intently, nothing but sand and wavering heat. Then I noticed something. The wavering heat didn't shift and change. It stayed in the same area and wiggled. I looked around more, the waves made a shape. It went around and up, like a dome. No matter how high I looked, I couldn't find the top of the dome. I looked to the sides, but I couldn't find the edges. Anubis breathed out happily. "Finally..." With that, he ran forward...

And vanished.

The Deadlands

"Whoa!" I yelled as the old stallion disappeared. The others didn't seem as confused as me. They slowly trotted forward into the waves. One by one, they all disappeared. I took off the white blanket they had given me an stared blankly at the waves, searching for a sign of them.

"S-sharky! Hero! Come quick!" I heard Anubis shout in front of me. Ordinarily I would have hesitated a bit more, but I heard something in his voice that I hadn't heard this whole trip. Fear. I ran into the waves, buster sword raised defensively and prepared for... something. I took a deep breath and stepped forward into the waves. Immidiately, the world became cold. The ground was squishy instead of shifty like in the sand. It was dark. Very dark. I couldn't see anything and had to wait for my eyes to adjust again. Now, instead of being warm, it was ice-cold. I re-wrapped the thin blanket around my shoulders to help keep the cold off. I could hear the light breathing of the cultist ponies next to me. There was something else though. There was... rattling.

"Who's making that sound?" I asked loudly. The rattling suddenly stopped.

"Oh no..." I heard Anubis mutter. The rattling started up, louder than before. This time, it was coming towards us. I still couldn't see at all. Nothing was visible, not even my hand in front of my face. Then every unicorn in our group started illuminating the area with light from their horns. I had to blink a few more times to adjust, but then I could see what was going on. We were surounded. Every side of our group was circled by skeletons. Bleached white pony skeletons. If that wasn't creepy enough, these skeletons were moving. Their ancient bones clicked together as they practically danced with a frenzied hunger. Their eyes were filled with unnatural black flames. The ponies quickly drew various weapons and mimicked my defensive stance. They gather around me in a circle, clearly looking to me for leadership. As soon as we were all gathered in a large circle, the skeletons seemed to hesitate. I grinned happily. As long as we stuck together, there was no way these simple creatures would find the bravery to attack. I looked around for a second to see what kinds of weapons the company had.

"All ponies with spears, get to the outer edges of the circle! Move your asses or join the dead!" The ponies, after a minor scramble, readjusted the formation so that the outer ring of the group was entirely made of spear ponies. "Ok, good! Now, every other pony needs to get right behind a spear pony and get ready to cut down any enemy that gets past the spears!" The ponies all nodded at me and lined up. There were exactly thirty-one of us, including myself. Fifteen had spears, ten had swords, and five were unicorns with a bunch of daggers they were levitating. Suddenly, the skeletons seemed to find their bravery. They charged all at once. The first wave all smashed themselves onto the spears. After a few bones shattered, the lights in their eyes went out and their bodies went limp.

"Ohhhhhh yeah!!!" A spear pony shouted. A mare by the sound of it. The ponies swung their spears to the side, tossing the skeletons off of their weapons. While they cleared the weapons, the next set of skeletons charged forward. The ponies with swords easily made quick work of them from directly behind their spear partners. The unicorns sliced the skeletons almost artistically with their daggers. The spear ponies re-set their spears to attack.

"Hey, you all hold this position! Aww hell yeah, time for me to have some fun! I'm going to see if I can clear some extra baddies for us!" I crouched down before I leapt away from the group. I soared just barely over the heads of the outer ring of the ponies. I held out my sword challengingly as the skeletons started circling me as well as the group. The group didn't have a problem repeating their cycle of death, so I turned to my foes and focused on them. The skeletons, eager to find a single seperated enemy, chatter excitedly and rushed at me haphazardly. I made short work of the first skeleton simply by swinging my sword down onto his back and sending him crashing into the ground. I swung around in the same move and cracked the flat of my blade into another skeleton's jaw. He was sent flying head over hooves into another skeleton. I heard some cheering from behind me and I turned to see the cultist ponies cheering me on.

"Whoo! What a hero!"

"Go Sharky go!"

"Make them sorry they didn't stay dead!"

"Focus on your enemies you idiots! Guys, look out!" A skeleton snuck up on the distracted ponies. He grabbed a pony by the throat in his skeletal jaws and dragged her, screaming, into the shadows. "Nooo! You all, back in formation!" I yelled as I sprinted into the dark after the mare. I could hear her screams above the endless chattering of the skeletons. I ran past the light of the unicorns' horns and was thrust into darkness. I didn't allow the sudden darkness to distract me from the endangered mare. I continued running towards her frenzied screams.

"Help me! Help me please, hero!" I could hear her yell. I ran towards the sound of her voice. I could feel Skeletons smash against my legs as I ran. They were flung away and trampled on as I ran madly through the dark. I was stumbling often over the uneven, shifty ground. Then I got hit from on my right arm and was tipped slightly to the left. Another skeleton jumped up and sank its teeth into my left shoulder. I tried to beat the skeleton off of my arm, but more jumped at me and bit into my upper body. I continued to stumble forward, unable to bat the skeletons aside as one after another they jumped onto me and pulled me down. After the fifteenth skeleton hit me, I was barely able to move my arms or legs. Then, another skeleton hit me in my back, sending me face first into the ground. My sword was thrown out of my hand and out of sight. The ground stunk unbelievaly, and the skeletons piled on top of me before I could even try to stand. "Hero! Help me, please!" The mare shouted again, sounding even more desperate.

"I'm not a hero! I don't think I can make it!" I cried as the skeetons tore at me. I punched and slashed at them furiously, but there wasn't much I could do. I was sure this would be my end as well as the mare's.

"You can hero! I believe in you!" She shouted back. The area around me suddenly became lit dimly. I could see where I was punching, and I felt the skeletons suddenly backed off of me slightly. I looked around in confusion as the skeletons that had previously been tearing at me were suddenly backing away like scared foals. I shook my head clear of my worries and quickly found my sword a few feet away from me. I ran to it and hefted it back into a defensive grip as I ran towards the mare's screams. The skeletons didn't even try to approach me as I ran through the dark, now guided by a dim light from behind me. I quickly gained on the mare now that I could see where I was stepping. I finally caught up to her skeleton captor. He had her throat in his jaws and was dragging her across the ground. Now that her white blanket was gone, I could see she was a lime-green earth pony with a white mane.

"Hey! Let her go!" I yelled as I ran forward. The mare gave me a look of pure joy.

"H-hero! I knew you'd make it!" She cried. The skeleton holding her throat in his jaw seemed like he was going to run away, but suddenly, the black flames in his eyes turned green. He seemed to give me an evil smile before biting down on the mare's soft throat. She cried out in pure primal pain as I let out a primitave roar.

"Noooooo!!! That bastard is fucking going down!!" I charged forward right as the skeleton's eye flames faded back to black. He released the mare and stumbled away from me fearfully. I brought the buster sword down hard and fast on the skeleton's skull. It shattered from the force of the blow, sending bone shards everywhere. As the mare next to me gasped in her final breaths, I screamed as I brought down the buster sword on the skeleton's body repeatedly. When I was finally don with it, there was nothing but shards and powder where the skeleton once stood. "Damn man... way to teach that little bitch." As the mare next to me continued to gasp, I ran to her and cradled her to my chest. I dropped my sword and held her to my face as I cried into her coat.

"W-why are you upset...?" She muttered weakly. Blood trickled from the corner of her mouth.

"I wasn't fast enough! I wasn't strong enough! I'm... not good enough..." I sobbed into her chest. The mare gave me a weak smile.

"To me... you will always be... The greatest hero... ever... You are great... I believe in you..." With those final words, the mare who devoted her life to being like me, died. I cried as I realized I had never even bothered to learn her name. I cried as I clung to her limp body. Then, I realized the light around me had gone out. The light that had scared the skeletons away, was gone. I held the mare's body in my left arm as I searched around blindly for my sword with my right. I picked it up and sprung to my feet as the chattering of skeletons started up once again. Then, a small orb of light appeared from the mare's body. It illuminated the immediate area, eliciting hisses from the skeletons that were now surrounding me.

"I believe..." The orb whispered in the mare's voice. "I believe, in you." The orb of light circled around the body a few times, as if saying goodbye. Then the orb flew around to my back and I felt a gentle touch. Suddenly the whole area was dimly lit, like before when I had been chasing after the mare. I cautiously started walking towards the distant spot of light that I recognized as the rest of the group. Skeletons hissed at me, but they didn't dare to move forward. I eventually made it back to the main group, luckily for them. As soon as I entered the circle of light, a bunch of skeletons fled from the circle of ponies. The group, looking slightly more ragged than before, let out a huge cheer as they saw me coming back.

"Sharky! I see you brought back Lime Light--" Anubis started until I shook my head sadly and lowered the mare's body. I noticed now that her cutie mark was a spotlight.

"Lime Light... The mare who died trying to be like me..." I muttered lowly. The group allowed themselves a suprised gasp as they watched the fleeing skeletons.

"S-she's... dead?" One mare whispered as she turned away from the cowardly monsters. I nodded again as I held out her body. The group slowly allowed themselves to relax as they realized the skeletons wouldn't stop running for a while.

"I... I couldn't do anything to stop it... I'm so freaking worthless as a knight..."

"Now see here!" Anubis snapped at me. "You are a fine knight! I'm sure there was nothing more you could do for dear Lime Light. Beating yourself up about it won't get you anywhere! Now, about this peculiar light..." Anubis pointed to my back. I gave him a confused look before setting down my sword and reaching to my back. Lime Light was taken out of my hands by a few ponies and I pulled my old axe out of its strap. The silver moon on both sides of the axe was glowing brightly enough to light up a small area of the dark. Anubis gasped.

"What?What happened? It wasn't glowing like this before!" I quickly asked. Anubis held a hoof up to his mouth.

"Sharky, did you hear Lime Light's last words?"

"... Yes. Yes I did."

"What were they?"

"She... She told me she believed in me... She thought I was a great hero..." I muttered sadly as I remembered the mare dying in my arms.

"Sharky... Wow... That symbol... It was meant to symbolize our belief in you... It seems... Lime Light's belief has manifested in the weapon!" I frowned at him.

"A mare just died, and you're concerened about weapons?" I asked coldly. Anubis shook his head quickly.

"You don't understand! Lime Light's belief is manifested in your axe! Do you know what that means?!"

"Does it mean she's coming back to life? That's the only thing important enough for this to matter."

"Well... no... but, judging by what I just saw... This blade is now more powerful somehow... Powerful enough to scare those skeletons away!"

"Yeah, scaring off low-level undead is really worth the life of a pony." I sheathed the axe, the light seemed to dim a little. Anubis seemed taken back and unable to react to what I said. I stood up and turned to face the group. "Look, we're leaving. Now. I don't want any more ponies to die." The group all mumbled and looked to their hooves. One stallion stepped forward. His eyes were red and there were tear streaks down his face.

"S-sir... Lime Light... Was my wife." He announced. "If I turn back now... I'll never be able to live knowing I gave up on her last wish... to stop that madpony. She believed in you with all her heart, as do I." The light grew brighter. "I know even if we all leave... You wouldn't." I raised my eyebrow at his very accurate statement. "I'm going with you, to fufill my wife's last desire!" There was a great roar of approval from the crowd as the stallion finished his speech. The crowd all stepped forward and saluted me. I took a small step back in suprise and shock. Anubis walked up to my side.

"All these ponies believe in you. Lime Light believed in you. We want to end this threat, and you are the only one who can help. Please Sharky, for Lime Light. Help us end this oncoming threat." Anubis pleaded. I sighed deeply before walking over to the stallion that had been married to Lime Light.

"What's your name?" I asked him gently. He looked up to me as another tear rolled down his cheek.

"I'm Spot Light..." He whispered.

"Were you and your wife actors?" He smilled slightly.

"Yeah... it's how we met actually... My other wife is an actor too... Luckily she didn't come with me." I tilted my head at him.

"Other?"

"What? O-other wife? What about her?"

"Why do you have two-- You know what, this isn't important right now. You have foals?" He nodded somberly. "Then you should go back to them instead of risking your life here." I stood up and looked to all of the ponies. "You all should leave and go back to your families."

"With all due respect Sir Sharky, if I don't fight here, we're all dead anyway." Spot Light spoke up.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean? Why? What is this great threat anyway?"

"I told you already, a unicorn has claimed the Libro Mors! We have to stop him!" Anubis spoke up from my side.

"Well what the heck is the Libro Mors? Why the hell are we in an area where skeletons attack? Why is this all so important?! I would like some answers!" I yelled at him. He flinched back. He gave me a confused look before a he seemed to suddenly understand me.

"Oh, you'll have to forgive me. I've neglected to realize that you may not be familiar with our legends. You see, this land is what we call the forbidden realm. It used to have a name, but it has been long forgotten by anypony but Luna and Celestia. Maybe a few dragons as well." Anibus started to explain.

"The Deadlands." I remembered my talk with Esmerelda. "She said it was only a rumor now... How did you know this place was even real? From what I heard, this place should only be legend to you guys!"

"It's mostly a hunch..."

"... You traveled for four days across a desert... on a hunch."

"... Yes."

"Do I even have to point out the fucking stupidity here? Anubis, that's ridiculous! You could've gotten everypony here killed from thirst or hunger in the desert!" Anubis looked to the ground.

"Well... it is a little silly... To be honest, I was hoping I was wrong about this place. You see, the reason we're here is because a unicorn has claimed the Libro Mors." I blinked blankly a few times. "... The Book of Death?" I still didn't react. Anubis sighed. "It's a book of forbidden spells that allows a unicorn to raise the dead and control them." I nodded.

"Ok, I see the power this book has, but if what I've heard is correct, the undead can't leave this area anyway. Why does it matter if he's in this realm with a book?"

"Well... These creatures have no direction. No influence. If many of them were to attack at once, the shield could break."

"Ok, well it shouldn't be too hard for the princesses to just re-seal or even just kill these undead right?"

"Sharky, the first time they did this they had to stop moving the sun and moon for seven days straight."

"... That doesn't sound great..."

"It gets worse..."

"Fan fucking tastic."

"You see, since this place was sealed all those years ago, many ponies that thought themselves great heroes have ventured here to try and cleanse it. Some mad ponies who considered the undead a superior race, even just lost travelers have wandered in here. They were never heard from again."

"I don't see what that has to do with anything..." Anubis nodded his head to the ground. I looked down and balked at the sight. Now that I wasn't fighting skeletons and the ground was illuminated by unicorn lights, I could see that the ground consisted entirely of dead ponies. I gasped in pure terror and I could feel my stomach roll with my disgust. My stomach revolted against me and I turned to the side as I threw up all over even more pony corpses. I retched a few more times as my stomach emptied itself onto the macabre scene beneath me. I pulled off my right gauntlet and wiped my mouth after I finished vomiting.

"An understandable reaction." Anubis consoled. "It's a truly terrible thing to behold."

"S-so... That unicorn... he's going to resurrect a-all these corpses?!"

"I believe so, yes."

"... Dear god... We're fucked."

"Relax Steven, we are going to stop this madpony before he releases this plague on Equestria."

"That's what I'm worried about. You're gonna fucking die and drag me down with you. Now I understand why you came here... but I have one more question." Anubis nodded respectfully before responding.

"Okay, Go ahead."

"How the hell did he get the book in the first place? Wouldn't something like this be locked up?" I asked suspiciously. Anubis smiled at me and opened his mouth. Then he closed it and frowned. He tilted he head curiously and seemed to be in deep thought.

"I don't know." He finally answered. "According to legend the book is locked in the royal vault. I don't know how a common unicorn would have gotten it..." I rubbed my chin thoughtfully as I pondered that.

"Well, we can ask him when we find him. Let's get him guys." The ponies all grinned and let out a huge whoop. The light from my axe intensified as they cheered. It faded again as the cheering died down. As soon as it was quiet, I spoke up again. "So... uhh... where is he?" I asked. The ponies all looked to each other back and forth before staring at Anubis blankly. "Anubis, please tell me you know where we're going..."

"Uhhh..."

"Great... You're all idiots. Well, let's travel along the outside of the giant force field to see if we can find something..." The group murmered small agreements as we set off into the dark.

Fall of a Hero

"Shhhh, shhhh. It's ok Unity, I'm sure your daddy will be back soon..." Fluttershy soothed the wailing infant in her forelegs. Unity had been increasingly upsetable since Sharky left. Fluttershy wasn't feeling incredibly happy either.

"What in Equestria was he thinking?" Twilight mumbled sadly from across the room. Twilight was visiting Fluttershy's house to help care for Unity. "Why did he decide to go with them?"

"Well, he said he couldn't leave them to die..."

"That doesn't mean he had to go gallivanting through the desert with them!" Twilight threw her hooves up in annoyance. Fluttershy looked at her friend blankly.

"Galli... vanting?"

"You know, wandering around the desert with them."

"Ah... well, Luna did say she told him to take care of them. I guess that makes it his job to... gallivant through the desert with them."

"... Ugh... You're right..." Suddenly, the girls heard loud, frantic knocking at the door. Unity's cries became stronger and Fluttershy sighed softly. "Here, I'll take Unity and you can answer the door." Twilight levitated Unity out of Fluttershy's forehooves and carried him over to her waiting grasp. Unity quieted down slightly in her embrace, which brought a smile to her face. "See Sharky, I can be just a nuturing as Fluttershy..." Twilight mumbled quietly as Fluttershy strode towards the door. Fluttershy threw back the door to reveal a very worried-looking Applejack.

"Howdy Fluttershy." Applejack greeted quickly. "Have ya seen Winnona?"

"Umm... No, I don't think I have..."

"Gosh darnit... Well, thanks anyway Fluttershy!" Applejack dashed away just as quickly as she had come. Fluttershy rubbed her mane confusedly.

"That was odd." Twilight commented from her seat in the living room.

"It was... I sure hope Winnona is ok..." Fluttershy gently shut the door and trotted over to Twilight. Unity had finally stopped bawling and was falling asleep.

"I'm sure she's fine. After all, Fang is off alone all the time."

"Yes, but Fang is a wolf. Winnona is a dog. She can't defend herself like he can..."

"All the same, she's fine I'm sure. You know, I just realized, it's going to be Hearts and Hooves day in only four days!"

"Gosh, you're right! I hope Sharky's back by then..."

"Do you think he'll ask any of us to be his special somepony?"

"... *sigh* No..."

"You're problably right... Maybe we should plan something for him! If we can impress him with something on the most romantic day of the year, he's sure to fall for one of us!"

"Yeah... Yeah! That's brilliant Twilight!"

"Maybe we can finally get his attention..." Twilight said wistfully.

"Maybe... Oh, I do hope she's not in trouble..." Fluttershy drifted away from the conversation suddenly. Twilight rolled her eyes.

"Look, if it makes you feel better, I can scry for Winnona. Then we can just go tell Applejack where she is."

"Would you?"

"Sure, just give me a moment." Twilight's horn glowed with energy and her face grew taunt with concentration. A circle of light appeared in the air near her face. Fluttershy leaned in to look at the picture with Twilight. A blush quickly spread across both of their faces.

"Oh dear..."

"Ugh... even Fang can figure out girls faster than Sharky..."

"Uhh... maybe we can work this out?!" The vampony shreiked as I sprinted after him with my axe raised.

"Graaaaaaahhhhhh! Yeah, he's up for a nice, long chat right now." The vampony was faster than me for sure, but everytime he got too far ahead of me, I interrupted his run with a well-placed lightning bolt. I had already used two so far, but I was unable to feel the energy drain due to the pure amount of rage and adrenaline running through me. The vampony was finally deciding to use his wings to flee, exactly what I wanted. I slammed a third lightning bolt into his back right as he took off. His body hopped slightly before crashing into the ground. I dashed over to him before he could even stand back up.

"Now, you die!" The vampony whipped up off of the ground and kicked my right leg out from under me. I fell forward towards the vampony, his eyes now glowing green.

"Fuck that!" I pushed off the groud with my left leg, sending myself over the vampony's head. I slashed his back with my axe as I passed over him. The blade passed through effortlessly, cleanly slicing the vampony's spine and causing him to fall limply to the ground. I walked over to him and looked into his eyes. They were black again.

"No, please!" He shouted as I planted my right foot inbetween his shoulder blades and pressed him into the ground. "Don't hurt me!"

"I wonder, did any of the ponies you killed beg before you disposed of them?" Before he could respond, I brought my axe down on his neck. The head rolled away from the body, and the body went limp.

"Y-you fool! You can't kill me that easy! I'll just regenerat-- W-wait! What are you doing?!" I lifted the head off of the ground by it's mane and held it at eye level.

"Well, maybe I can't kill you, but I'm sure this oughta slow down that 'regeneration'." I held the head out at arm's length, then dropped it. I swung my leg around to kick the head as it fell, sending it flying out of sight.

"You bastaaaaaaard!" The head screamed as it flew. I then turned to the body.

"Now, I should put a stake in this thing's heart right? Well, where to find a... Oh!" I ran back to the place where I first dropped the Buster Sword, beheading two zomponies brave enough to approach me along the way. I found the sword then began whittling away at the tip of the axe's handle until it became a sharp point. I then casually walked back to the body where I plunged the stake end of my axe into it's heart. "Now... Whew... I'm beat..." A sudden wave of drowsiness hit me as my rage wore off. I wobbled slightly, but I didn't fall. "Sharky White, vampony slayer." I laughed to myself as I slowly trudged towards the distant spot of light that was my group. I held out my axe and looked at the silver moon. "Thanks guys..." Even the zomponies seemed to think twice about approaching me now. A few came near, but none of them came within my attack range for the whole trip.

"Sharky! You're back!" Anubis shouted as the zomponies fled from me and the group. "Whoa, you're limping! ... And you look exhausted! What happened?"

"Well, I fought a vampony, he kicked my leg so hard the armor is now bent so that it is squeezing my leg, I used my lightning spell on him a few times, then I slayed him and came back here." I fell forward onto my knees as I spoke. The group gasped.

"Wow, you look seriously depleted..." A mare observed.

"Please Sharky, get some rest. We'll keep watch." Anubis offered.

"Oh yes, because you all can focus on an enemy long enough to not die. Thanks Anubis... I'll be fine soon, don't worry..." I fell-face forward onto the corpses beneath me. Before my face contacted the ground, a white blanket appeared and I landed on it softly. I looked up exhaustedly to see a light pink unicorn with a white mane. "Oh, the dragon-loving mare..." I mumbled.

"Scarlet, Scarlet Scales." She introduced.

"Nice to meet you... and thanks for the blanket..."

"No problem... umm..."

"Is something wrong?"

"Well uhh... It's just... me and the others were wondering..." The ponies that had re-formed our defensive position all seemed to turn their ears towards us. "W-why... why..."

"Why did I kill them." I finished for her. She nodded quickly. "Well... It was either let them be eaten alive and become cannablistic monsters, or end it then. I killed them to keep them from being in pain." The mare seemed to become happier.

"I knew it! I knew you wouldn't just strike them down in cold blood!"

"That doesn't mean I was right to kill them either... I wish I had kept them from even being taken..."

"Well, there's not much more you can do... You've already gotten us further in here than we ever would have made it on our own. Even if you can't save all of us, you're doing a great job at saving most of us. You're a great hero."

"Pfft... a hero would save all of you..." I drifted into sleep after uttering my last few words. The mare sighed at my lack of belief in myself, and we all waited.

"Finally, you're awake!" Anubis shouted as I groaned groggily.

"How long have I been out?" I croaked.

"A few hours at least. Most of the group is asleep now. It's just me and two others keeping watch."

"Do you think that's a good idea? Fucking moron! We coulda all died!"

"Your axe is keeping almost all the zomponies at bay. Only a few dare to approach, and we can kill them easily enough." As if to prove his point, a sudden whizzing noise started up and I saw Scarlet Scales stab a zompony through the head with a magic-wrapped dagger.

"Well, you should have been more careful. My axe doesn't keep vamponies at bay, and who knows when another might show up?" Anubis seemed to be imagining the result, then he flinched.

"Good point... Sorry, won't happen again."

"Don't worry, no harm no foul. No harm no foul?! What the fuck?! If there had been harm, no one would be left to call foul! Well, we should let the others rest a b--

Monday, Febuary 11th

--it before we start travelling again."

"Agreed... So, exactly how does this chess game work?" I spent the next few hours trying to explain the rules and strategies for chess to Anubis without any visual aid. It wasn't easy, but he was a suprisingly fast learner. The others all rose from the slumber right as I was teaching Anubis about the Queen's Sacrifice.

"Hey! Finally you guys are up!" I cheered as the group started to wake.

"You're one to talk..." Spot Light mumbled grumpily as he rubbed his eyes. I let out a small laugh. In about half an hour, the group was fully awake and ready to move on.

"Alright guys, now remember. At the first sign of trouble, get in the defensive position, and no matter what happens, focus on the enemy!! Or die. I don't care either way." The group nodded affirmatively.

"Good job group, now, before we set off, let me just thank you all for your hard work and dedication in this mission. Without your help, I would be long dead and Equestria would fall. Here's to you, the future saviors of Equestria!" Anubis cheered and pumped his hoof into the air triumphantly. The group echoed his cheer and raised their hooves in determination. I smiled at the group and I knew in that moment that there wasn't a group of crazy ponies in all of Equestria that I would rather have by my side.

"Right, now let's go defeat a madpony!" I shouted as the cheers died down. I turned in the direction we had been travelling and took off, the group hot on my heels.

"Whaddya mean you're leaving?!" Rainbow Dash yelled.

"I mean it's time for me to move on. I can't stay in Ponyville forever ya know." Gilda replied calmly.

"Why not?! You have lots of friends, a home, Scoots even thinks of you as 'Aunt Gilda'! You can't just leave all that!"

"Look Dashie, I love it here, really. It's just... not my style. I need a little more adventure. Excitement you know? It's just too calm in this town."

"So you're just going to run off?"

"Actually I was planning on flying."

"... Smart flank." The girls both let out a light laugh. Rainbow Dash sighed, knowing she couldn't change her friend's mind. "Well... Could you at least stay a few more days? Until Sharky comes back?" Gilda's gaze turned to the floor glumly.

"Why the buck would he care? He never visits us anyway..."

"He may not have time to hang out with us, but deep down I know he really cares. He'd be really sad if you left without saying goodbye..."

"Pfft... Like I care..." Gilda lied.

"Please? Just stay until then." Gilda looked unsure for a moment. "For me?" Rainbow Dash added.

"Ugh... Only for you Dash..."

"Great! ... So uhh... Do you know if he'll want to do anything for Hearts and Hooves day?"

"Huh? What makes you think I'd know?"

"... Just asking."

"Still haven't gotten him to notice you huh?"

"... No..."

"Have you even been trying?"

"I was... but after he took me out for the best day of my life, it's like I can't even get him to talk to me..."

"You gotta be more direct Dash! He's never gonna like you if you spend all day moping at the racetrack because he never notices you."

"I guess you're right..."

"Of course I am! Now, all you gotta do is ask him out for Hearts and Hooves day." Rainbow Dash flinched.

"Uhh... I can't do that..." Gilda put on a small smile.

"Why, ya chicken?"

"No!" Rainbow Dash shouted defensively.

"Are you sure? Ya sound chicken to me!"

"I'm not chicken! I'm just not allowed to ask him out!"

"Oh? Why's that?"

"... I can't say..."

"Why not?"

"I'm not allowed to tell anypony!"

"Fine, then I guess we'll have to think of a way to get him to ask you out..."

"Ha! I knew you loved Sharky!" Scootaloo cheered from the ground. Rainbow Dash popped her head out of a window to see her daughter grinning up at her.

"Scoots?! How did you even hear us?!"

"You two have been yelling almost this whole time!"

"You shouldn't have been eavesdropping! You're in big trouble!"

"What if I told you I had an idea to get Sharky to like you?!" Scootaloo cheered happily. Rainbow Dash was on the ground next to her in a matter of seconds.

"... I'm listening."

"What gives? We've been walking for hours!" I sighed as the group trudged on. "We should have seen something by now!"

"So, to be clear, you're upset because we haven't found something more deadly?" Anubis asked.

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because finding more deadly things means we're getting closer to the bad guy. If we aren't seeing anything worse, we aren't getting anywhere."

"Well, what if we find a light?" Anubis asked suddenly. He pointed out in front of us. I looked forward as far as I could, and he was right. Not too far in the distance, there was a small light.

"Well uhh... I don't know what that means actually... Let's get a closer look." As we walked forward, the bodies on the ground thinned out greatly. The light grew with every step we took, and soon, we were standing on the stone tip of a cliff. The light we had seen was the tip of a large castle, and the cliff dropped off into a huge crater with the castle in dead center. The castle was lit all over with green flames. "Guys... We found him." I whispered. The group let out a loud cheer and a few ponies leapt for joy.

"Why aren't you celebrating?!" Anubis cried joyfully as soon as he realized I had not joined in the cheer. I pointed off next to the castle to a large skeletal form.

"You see that?" I asked. He squinted and leaned forward.

"I see a large pile... no, two large piles of bones. Why?"

"Look closer."

"Ok... I don't... Oh dear Celestia..."

"Eeyup, undead dragons." The two piles of bones were really just still dragon skeletons, guarding the entrance to the castle. "That's not it, look up." Anubis turned his gaze to the sky above the castle.

"Oh no... are those..."

"Vamponies. Dozens of them." Pony shapes with bat wings circled around the castle tirelessly. "An early warning system most likely. Those things would see us and sound an alarm before we even got close."

"This... this is hopeless..." Anubis balked.

"Yes, look upon your demise and despair..."

"Veritas?! This champion is mine!"

"Ravidos?! This pathetic excuse for a warrior belongs to you?! Heh, my champion awaits inside the castle, brother. I would never use this... trash."

"Why you! Let us see whose champion fares better then! Prepare to lose, Veritas!" I looked around wildly for the sources of the two conflicting voices.

"What the hell is going on?! Does anypony else hear this?!" I shouted. The group all turned to me at once.

"Hear what Sharky?"

"Is something wrong?"

"What's bothering you?"

"... Nothing, just... losing my fucking mind I suppose..." I took a deep breath and shook my head. "Right, onward I suppose."

"Not so fast..." A deep, gravelly voice spoke up from behind us. I slowly turned to see what it was. Behind us, was a huge, hulking form of a pony. With absolutely no skin. It rippled with pure muscle, and it stood as tall as Celestia. It's eyes were pure, green flame.

"Oh shit." I muttered. We were on top of a cliff, and it was behind us. This was possibly the very worst place we could be.

"My master begs me to dispose of you... Prepare to die." The hulking abomination lowered his head, snorted once as he dug a hoof into the ground, then charged.

"Why are you wasting your time on Sharky anyway?" Spike grumbled as he sat on the counter next to Rarity.

"You don't understand Spike, he's just absolutely fantastic... Ow!" Rarity accidentally stuck her leg with a needle as she thought about Sharky.

"He's not all that great..."

"Oh but he is dear! Could you hoof me the white thread?" Spike handed Rarity the spool of white thread. She set back to work on designing her newest dress.

"What's so great about him, huh? Just name one thing that make him so awesome!"

"Oh, he's brave and strong and handsome and kind and smart and such a gent--"

"I said one reason!" Rarity shook her head and sighed.

"It doesn't matter though... He never notices me..."

"Well, that's too bad for him! Maybe you should find somepony else. Somepony that does notice you? Somepony tha--"

"Perhaps I should make a move on Hearts and Hooves day! It is the most romantic day of the year after all." Spike let his shoulders droop and let out a long sigh.

"I have to go back to the library now..." He lied. He eased himself off the counter and started toward the door.

"Oh, time for you to leave so soon? Well, thanks for your help Spike!"

"No problem..." Spike mumbled. He walked out of the boutique and out onto the dirt road. "Pfft... Stupid Sharky... He's not so great..." Spike sighed again. "Who am I kidding? He's Equestria's hero and Rarity's shining knight... I can't compete with that..." Spike shook his head sadly. "I shouldn't be so hard on him. He's a great guy. He's never given me any reason to not like him." Spike started walking back to the library. He stopped after a few steps and sighed again. "But why did Rarity have to like him...?"

"Hi there Mr. Slouchy McSadderson! What's gotcha down?" Pinkie Pie bounded up to Spike, eager to cure her friend's sour mood.

"Hi Pinkie. I'm just not doing great..." Pinkie Pie slowly looked inbetween him and Carousel Boutique.

"It doesn't have anything to do with you super secret crush on Rarity does it?!" Pinkie Pie whispered in his ear excitedly.

"Actually no. Well, yes. I'm upset because she's more interested in Sharky than me..."

"Well, you are just a wiiittle dragon right now... and Sharky is a biiiiig human... Maybe you should find somepony else? Rarity's looking for a grown-up, and you're... still a baby." Spike sloched even further and plopped down onto the ground.

"You're problably right Pinkie..." He sniffled slightly.

"Oh no... I wanted to make you smile! Ummm... Uhh... Hey! What if we go and find somepony for you now?"

"Really?"

"Of course really silly!"

"You think somepony will like me?"

"Of course I do! C'mon, Let's go!" Pinkie Pie held out a hoof for Spike. Spike grabbed it and Pinke Pie bounded away quickly, Spike in tow.

In an instant, I dashed ahead of the group and into the abomination's charge. He smacked the first pony he met head on, sending the stunned unicorn clear off of the cliff. The group gasped and scrambled to get away from the monster. Only a few seconds later, I slammed my shoulder into the strange beast's chest. The thing was solid as a rock, even my impressive strength only made it slide back a few feet. The beast stumbled back a few feet after it slid, then regained its balance and snorted at me. It started circling me slowly to my right.

"You are strong, creature. No wonder you have made it this close to my master. Too bad your journey ends here." The beast grumbled. I raised an eyebrow at him.

"Big talk for something that already died once." The beast snorted at me, then charged again. I pointed at its head. "Thundraga!" A bolt of lightning flashed down from the sky right onto its face. The lightning crackled through its body, sending a small spasm through it. The charge didn't stop though, and he rammed into my chest. The creature hit like a truck, sending me flying back and knocking the wind out of me. I landed back on my feet and slid right off the edge of the cliff. I reached out and grabbed the ledge as I fell.

"Really? I had hoped you would put up more of a fight than this!" The creature taunted me.

"Yeah well, I'm not having my best day I suppose." I heard heavy hoofsteps as the creature stomped towards me. He peered of the ledge and grinned at me maliciously. He raised a massive leg over my fingers.

"Pity, I would have loved to kill you at your best to truly crush your spirit. Farewell, weakling."

"He's not going anywhere!" I heard Anubis yell. The huge creature suddenly lurched forward, falling off of the cliff. There, attached to his back, was Anubis.

"Anubis!!" I yelled as he fell.

"Don't worry, this is what you would do! I can be a hero too!" He shouted back as he fell out of sight.

"No! Damn it! Anubiiiiis!" I shouted. It was too late. He was dead.

He died, for me. Some 'hero' I was.

I let a silent tear fall down my cheek. "This wasn't how things are supposed to be! I'm supposed to protect ponies, not the other way around!" I pulled myself back onto the ledge angrily. "I'm the one with the job to lay my life on the line, not them!"

"Sharky! What do we do now?!" Scarlet asked frantically.

"We're going to destroy that madpony! For Anubis, and all the others who died for this!" The group let out a roar of agreement. "Glad to see you guys on board! Now, here's what we're going to do..."

Death in the Deadlands

"Ok, does everypony understand the plan?" I asked the group quietly as we stood at the base of the cliff. We had walked around the edge of the crater to near the front of the castle.

"We run like headless chickens in the opposite direction you run. It's not that complicated of a plan." Spot Light responded sarcastically.

"Good, good. Here, take my axe." I took the axe out of it's sheath on my back and held it out for Spot Light to take. "It'll keep you safe as you leave." His eyes widened and he backed away.

"I can't take this! You'll never survive in there without it!"

"Pfft, yeah. The magic glowing axe will totally help my stealthy entrance." Spot Light flinched.

"Point taken..." He grabbed the axe with his mouth and turned back to the group.

"Ok, now get going guys. I'll see you after I finish up here." Scarlet looked me dead in the eyes.

"No you won't." I gave her a soft smile.

"Of course I will. I still have to take you to meet Esmerelda, remember?"

"Yeah... I'll hold you to that." The group slowly turned and started trotting away.

"Whew, good. They never would have survived this place." I muttered to myself as they gradually faded from sight. "Well, guess I'm all alone. Hey! What the fuck am I, chopped liver?! Well, let's hope my plan works..." I slipped over the ledge of the cliff and started climbing down slowly. The cliff was very tall, it took me about ten minutes to finally reach the ground. At the ground, I turned back to face the castle. It's flames were now my only source of light. "Now, let's see where I can cause the most mayhem... Those dragons look loud." I started running flat-out across the base of the crater.

"Warrior! What foolishness is this?!" I skidded to a halt and looked around quickly for the source of the voice.

"Alright, come on out! I know I heard someone!" I whispered harshly. For a moment, nothing happened. Then a small red light began to form before my eyes. It grew to about the size of a baseball, then hovered about three feet away from me.

"Yes, you did her someone. Greetings warrior. I am Ravidos."

"Ah ha! I knew I wasn't going crazier! What the hell are you and what do you want?!"

"Ah yes, I am Ravidos. I was once a great warrior... let's just say... I am very interested in your survival."

"Why the hell is that huh?" There was no response. The light disappeared completely, leaving no trace of it's existance in the first place. "Hey, wait! I'm not done with you yet!" I shouted. Then I flinched and slowly turned around to the castle. The vamponies had stopped circling the castle and were flying towards me. I heard the sound of tons of hunting horns go off as they sounded the alarm. "Well, fuck stealth I suppose." I sighed as I turned back to the skeletal dragons that were now lumbering to their feet. I drew my sword and set it on my shoulder. "As good a day as any to die. Actually, my schedule is full today, can we push it back 60 YEARS?!?!" I started a slow jog forward as the vamponies started a collective charge towards me. Luckily they were still pretty far away. Their vision must have been amazing to see me as far away as I was. The dragons were much closer than they were, but much slower as well.

"Look, a snack has wandered into our master's domain!" One of the dragons exclaimed giddily. Its voice was raspy and dry." The dragons had finally stood and turned to notice me. They sprang forward with suprising speed and strength, covering yards in a single bound. I stopped about a hundred yards away from the dragons.

"Ok... Yeah, they should get here about the same time..." I muttered to myself.

"Oh, it has been ages since I tasted living flesh!" The second bone dragon cheered. A shiver of disgust ran down my spine.

"Dear god I hope I can jump as high as I think..." I muttered quietly as the dragons and vamponies bore down on me. At the moment the dragons reached me, the first one cackled and raised its mighty bone talons.

Back-handing the vamponies right above it.

I grinned viciously and leapt right as the dragon swung at me. I soared clear over the talon and next to the dragon's ribcage. I grabbed the rib bone right in front of me, which was about three bones away from the top of its ribcage. I could feel the dragon sway as it looked around for me confusedly.

"Where did our meal go?!"

"There! On your chest, brother! I'll get it!" The second dragon swung for me right as I pulled myself up with a massive heave. I was actually stonger than I thought, and I flung myself so hard I smacked my head into the first bone dragon's jaw! Right as I moved, the second bone dragon's talon smashed through the first dragon's ribs. Suprisingly, the dragon didn't even seem to notice his suddenly missing body parts. I quickly recovered from my small daze and grabbed the second dragon's arm as I fell next to it.

"No, its on your foreleg! Time to end it!" The first dragon swung down at me at the same time the vamponies finally flew through and around the dragons to get to me. I let go of the dragon's forelegs as the first dragon's talon smashed through it. I landed on the back of a passing vampony.

"Wha-what the!?" The mare screeched as I thudded onto her back. I quickly grabbed a handful of her mane and yanked it back. Her head tossed up and she started a straight flight upwards. I held on for a few minutes until I was well over the dragons' heads. I grabbed the mare's wings and forced them against her sides. We lost our forward momentum before we slowly turned and plummeted back down to the dragons. I waited until we had some great speed going before I let the mare go and kicked off of her back, slowing my own fall immensely. The mare didn't even have time to throw her wings out to slow her decent before she crashed into the skull of the first dragon.

*splat* "Oh damn, that wasn't pretty..." The dragon's skull cracked around the point where the vampony impacted, but the vampony was now no more than a smear. I whipped out my sword and pointed it directly at the crack as I fell. I met the skull with a resounding shockwave of impact that actually moved the vamponies in mid-air. I broke clear through the skull and fell through its jaw. The shattered bone stabbed into me as I passed through, tearing long lines down my arms and chest as well as ripping a few slates off of my armor. I kept falling all the way to the ground. I landed harshly, and I could feel my legs try to give out beneath me. I managed to limp back upright as the dragon skeleton crashed to the ground.

"Brother! You little whelp! Forget food, I'm going to take you alive and tear you apart piece by piece for this!" The remaining dragon growled.

"Yeah, well you should take that b-- Oh god vampony!" I leapt to the side as a vampony divebombed at me. The sudden weight changes caused my legs to collapse underneath me. The dragon flashed me a toothy grin right before his talon fell towards me. "Gah!" I gasped and crossed my arms above me protectively. The talon slammed into my arms heavily. The blades snapped clear off of my gauntlets and flew away. One struck a vampony in the eye. I was forced to drop the Buster Sword by the impact. It landed next to me heavily. The dragon laughed maliciously as it slowly pressed forward on me. With the dragon pinning me down, the vamponies all landed around me and eyed me hungrily. Then I pressed all of my strength into one last, desperate push. I pushed upward on the talon as hard as I could. The dragon laughed at my seemingly feeble effort. He seemed to have forgotten that he was missing his other foreleg. With each inch I managed to push, the dragon's balance began to slip. It stopped laughing and flailed it's wings wildly in an attempt to regain its footing, but it was too late. With one last mighty heave, I managed to knock the dragon's last foreleg out from under it.

"Nooo! This isn't possible!" The dragon roared as it began to fall. Using my very last bit of energy, I stabbed the handle of the Buster Sword into the ground. I collapsed on the ground and rolled off to the side as quickly as my exhausted body would let me. I managed to get just far enough away as the skeleton came crashing down right on top of all the vamponies, impaling its own skull on the Buster sword.

"Whew! Yeah... *gasp gasp* Now... How in the name of fuck do I get my sword back?" I laid there in an exhausted heap until I heard a strange creaking sound. I pushed myself off of the ground and looked around confusedly. Then I saw it. The broken ribcage of the first dragon was starting to pull itself back together. "Whoa shit!" I struggled to my feet and stumbled over to the skull holding my sword painfully. I Pulled myself onto of the skull and looked around for the top of my sword. Luckily the sword stabbed clear through the head and shattered it outward. I was able to pull it right through with no trouble. I stapped it back to my back and turned around to face the castle. The skull underneath me moved slightly. "Right, let's move!" I gently eased myself off of the skull and started limping to the castle.

"I totally knew you could handle that..."

"Oh thank god, finally here!" I gasped as I finally reached the doors of the castle. I stumbled up to them and pushed on them. They didn't budge. Then I looked at the door and realized it had 'pull' handles. I sighed heavily before pulling on the doors. They moved slightly forward, but they refused to move any further. I looked up to see a large chain binding the doors together. "Man, I don't have time for this shit...." I lifted the Buster Sword to see if it was tall enough to hit the chain. It was more than enough, and with a few swings the chain broke. Sending the lock straight down onto my head. "Ow! Damn, you think I'd learn..." I pulled the doors open to reveal a small room. There was a throne in dead center of the room, and there was a pony lazily leaned up against an arm of the throne. The entire building was made of black stone with red edging. There were green flames on top of the throne, and the stallion in the throne sat up and smiled at me as I limped in.

"Ah! The great hero of Equestria." He said sarcastically. "Allow me to congratulate you on your journey here with a nice, sarcastic, slow clap." He gloated. He started a slow clap by smacking his hooves together while I examined him. He was a totally black stallion with one solid green stripe that went right through his mane, down his back and through his tail. The green stripe pulsated and swayed of it's own accord. "What, looking for this?" He asked as he noticed me staring at him. He pointed off to the side of the room. There, chained to the wall was Anubis. "Or this?" He pointed to the other side of the room, where there was a huge green book chained to the wall.

"Anubis! You're alive?!" I shouted. He gave me a weak grin.

"Just about as much as you... which isn't much."

"Now, let me explain how this game works," The odd mad stallion interrupted. You can have either the book, or your friend here. You can have one free, the other... will be very difficult to retrieve afterwards..." I glared at him angrily.

"You need the book, you wouldn't really just let it go..."

"Oh, I do need the book. I find this to be much more fun than lounging around a castle surrounded by undead all day."

"You're one twisted fuck, you know that? That's coming from me. Well then there's no choice. I choose Anubis." I answered immediately. The stallion gave me an evil grin.

"Tell me hero, have you ever heard of an Ecorche?" He asked as his horn glowed and the restraints on Anubis started to slowly undo themselves.

"No..."

"It's a truly facinating undead, a really remarkable piece of work..."

"Thundraga." I pointed at him and called my lightning, but instead of striking him, a loud boom came from the roof. "Shit..."

"Right... Anyway, this particular undead has a very nasty habit... It completely and totally skins it's victims perfectly."

"That's fantastic. Why do I care?" Anubis's last shackle unclapsed and he fell to the ground.

"After that, and Ecorche can wear the victim's skin magically, taking over even the voice of the previous owner... Oh, and it's pure muscle in its true form." I gave Anubis a wary glance as he grinned at me wickedly.

"Oh shit." Anubis suddenly exploded outward, sending bits of his skin everywhere. Left standing in his place, was the gigantic muscle creature from the cliff. The madpony practically rolled in his chair laughing. The Ecorche ran towards me and smacked me clear across the room with a foreleg. I hit the wall next to the book, splintering the stone around where I landed.

"C'mon hero! Show me your pow--" The madpony began to taunt. His speech was suddenly cut off though. I saw the Ecorche turn to look at him, so I decided it was safe for me to risk a quick look too. There, sitting in his throne, the madpony had a dagger through his left eye. He was dead. The dagger was wrapped in a pink aura and retracted.It flew all the way back to the doorway, where Scarlet Scales was waiting for it.

"That was for Anubis, bitch." She muttered. Spot Light appeared in the doorway wielding my axe. The group was all right behind the two of them.

"This is for you Lime Light!" He lead the group forward in a charge, heading right for the Ecorche. With my axe and the multitude of weapons they still had, the thing didn't stand a chance. The group brutally tore it apart as I fell to my knees next to the wall. The Ecorche died quickly, and the group quickly ran over to me. "Sharky? Are you ok?!" Spot Light asked me frantically.

"You all sure took your sweet damn time getting here!" I yelled. They backed up slightly in suprise.

"You... you aren't suprised to see us here?" Scarlet asked.

"You're a group dedicated to being like me, I would have been shocked if you hadn't shown up. I just went in first to make sure the path was clear."

"Oh... well uh... suprise. Are you hurt?" Scarlet leaned forward to start examining the cuts on my arms.

"I'm pretty much fine. I almost broke my legs I think, but my equipment is what got really damaged. Broke my gauntlets and ruined my leg armor..." Spot light poked my cuts.

"Then... What are these?"

"Flesh wounds. Now, unless you all want to fight two skeleton dragons and dozens of vamponies that will undoubtedly be back to optimum operation strength soon, we should leave." I tried to stand, but my legs gave out from under me. I sighed in annoyance. I heard the sound of metal hitting metal before one of the ponies nuzzled my arm onto her neck.

"Don't worry hero, we'll carry you." The mare promised.

"Thanks..." I muttered as more ponies began to lift me. Suddenly something landed on my chest. I lifted it up slightly. "Libro Mors. We went through all this hell for this little book..."

"So make sure you hold on to it tightly." Spot Light said with a gentle laugh as he hoofed me back my axe. "C'mon hero, I've got foals and a wife to get back to." He turned and started to walk outside of the castle.

"What the fuck are you all doing?! Run, run! What part of skeletal dragons don't you get?!" The group took off quickly to the clifface.

We were finally heading home.

False Leads

February 13, Wednsday

After two days of travelling, we had left the deadlands and finally figured out which way was the correct way home through the desert. After I finally regained my ability to walk, I started trying to get ahold of Luna. For some reason, my phone told me it had no signal. I figured it meant I wasn't within the contact range of Luna's magic. At midday I was finally able to contact Luna, which was great because we were almost out of food and water. I called her as the group came to a halt when I finally announced I had signal. I called Luna and she picked up before the first ring could even finish.

"Sharky?! Thou art safe! Thank goodness!" She practically cheered as she picked up.

"Why would my safety be an issue?"

"Oh... uh... no reason, no reason at all."

"Oh, so I wasn't possibly injured in the world of the undead you neglected to warn me of?" Luna's eyes widened.

"Oh. I uhh... I didn't quite expect thou to find it..."

"That's reason to not warn me? Next time you could at least tell me that I'm going to be entering a realm filled entirely with undead beings!"

"I apologize..."

"Do you know what an Ecorche is?!"

"... Yes..."

"I didn't until one exploded out of my friend!"

"Sorry..." Luna souded truly guilty and apologetic, so I decided to let up on her.

"Whatever.... Well, I guess you're just lucky I did go with them."

"I suppose... Wait, if thou did enter the Deadlands, how art thou even still alive?"

"Well, it's actually a long story. Could you teleport me out of this desert? It'd make it much more comfortable for me to have this discussion."

"Oh, of course! Umm... did any of the other ponies... survive?"

"About 24 of us lived. Thanks to us though, we saved just about everypony in Equestria."

"O-only six casualties?! That's... that's not possible..."

"You didn't hear the part about saving Equestria?" The ponies had all gathered around me to hear the conversation. "You know what, if you could just teleport us, I'll explain it when we're there."

"R-right! We'll do so immediately!" Suddenly we all vanished in a black flash.

We all appeared right in front of the doors to Luna's chambers. The hall extended to the left and right of us, and Luna stood in front of her chamber doors.

"That's odd, normally you poof me into your--" I started, but Luna gave me a harsh stare and I stopped talking.

"Fantastic to see you all here." Luna began.

"Uhh... question, why didn't you just teleport them to you when they were heading into danger?" I questioned.

"Against their will? 'Tis not right! Ehm, anyway. I understand you all hath discovered a rather disturbing secret..."

"Damn right! Why would you hid a place like that?!" Spot Light yelled. Luna blinked in suprise for a moment before a small scowl crossed her face.

"How dare thou take such a tone while adressing thine princess! Apologize at once!"

"He'll do no such thing." I interrupted. Luna turned to me and her scowl faded. "These ponies just went through hell and carried me back. He has a right to be a little angry." I lifted the Libro Mors and held it out to her. "Especially since we just recovered this and saved possibly the world." Luna gasped and covered her mouth.

"T-the Libro Mors?! T-that's n-not possible!"

"Then why do I have it?" Luna levitated the book out of my hand and held it close to her side.

"We... I am not sure what is going on here..." Luna spoke softly now, as if afraid her very breath would break something. "It is obvious that you all have spared Equestria a terrible fate, and for that I thank you. To answer your... rather rude... question, that realm is kept secret to keep ponies like thou from venturing in and getting thineselves killed." Spot Light seemed to calm down a little. I guess he was remembering the piles of dead bodies.

"Oh... That makes sense... Sorry I yelled..." Spot Light apologized. Luna nodded.

"Thou art forgiven. Now, though all of thou deserve recognition for your deed, thou must understand why I can tell nopony. I apologize."

"It doesn't matter. We weren't in it for the glory, we just wanted to help. Like Sharky!" Scarlet said happily. Luna took on a soft smile.

"Yes, Sharky... He is something, isn't he? Well, thank you all for your help. I suppose you all wish to return home now..." The group let out an overwhelming chorus of agreement, except for Scarlet. She trotted over to me and seemed to hide behind my legs. For the next few minutes, Luna started slowly sending everypony back to their respective homes. We said small goodbyes as they vanished until everypony but Scarlet and I were gone. "Ok my little pony," Luna turned to Scarlet as she sent off the last pony. "Where do you live?"

"Uhh... actually... Sharky promised to introduce me to somepony..." Scarlet mumbled.

"Oh yeah! I guess she's coming with me. I can call you when she's ready to go home." Luna looked unsure for a moment.

"Umm... I had planned on speaking with you Sharky."

"Ok, then speak to me."

"... Alone."

"Why?"

"Just follow me to my chambers." Luna turned to pull open her chamber doors.

"Why?"

"Just do it!" She ordered harshly. My body started to force me forward as she opened the door. Scarlet stood where she was confusedly as Luna and I walked onto the moon. The door closed behind me as I walked closer to Luna's bed. I stopped a few yards away from it and turned to look at Luna.

"Jerk. You didn't need to order me! Ugh... anyway, what did you want to talk about?" Luna strode towards me quickly.

"How did you do it?!" She exclaimed.

"What?"

"How did you survive?! Countless ponies have ventured into the Deadlands over the course of centuries, and none have survived. Today you approach me and say that you not only survived, but defeated somepony that stole the Libro Mors and protected 24 other ponies!"

"I got a magic axe."

"... What?" I pulled out my axe that Spot Light had returned to me and showed it to her.

"You see that silver moon? It's powered by the belief of a few of my dead comrades. It's really powerful against undead. It can even repel weaker ones."

"This... this is amazing..."

"How? It's only useful in one place which I plan to never visit again."

"True... even with this axe though, it must have taken remarkable skill to protect all those ponies."

"Nah, they were pretty skilled themselves. If I were really all that skilled, I would have saved them all..."

"Don't be so hard on thyself! The deeds you accomplish are truly amazing, and you should accept them as such."

"Well, thank you, but I know I can do better. I won't be satisfied until I can protect everypony!" Luna sighed in annoyance.

"Fine, suit thyself. Now... It appears you could use new armor."

"Nah, I'm fine. I have two more sets of armor."

"Thou art so... so selfless..." Luna mumbled with a sort of dazed look. Then she shook her head and gave me a small glare. She rushed over to me until she was standing over me. "What magic are you using?!" She asked quickly as she stood in front of me. I squinted my eyes in confusion.

"I beg your pardon?"

"You! What magic are you using on me?!"

"N-nothing! I have no magic except my lightning spell! Also, your magic power is really starting to hurt!" With Luna so close, her magic was trying to rush into me. I was doing all I could to block it, but it was still hurting me. Luna refused to back off.

"Lies! Tell me, what are you doing to me?!"

"Nothing I swear!" I started to back off slowly as her magic swarmed me. Luna matched me step for step.

"I don't believe you! I feel strange around you! This feeling is familiar, but strange..." Luna slowly stopped advancing on me as she drifted off into her memories. "I have felt this before... It has been so long... What was it?"

"What is what?! What's going on?!"

"It's not time for my heat..." She mumbled as she thought. I froze and my jaw dropped.

"Your what?" Luna's eyes widened and she turned to face me again suddenly.

"No... it can't be. You're not even a pony! This is improper!"

"Can't be what?! Why did you just say heat?!"

"The... the emotion assosiated with heat is... it's very similar to how I'm feeling right now... Sharky... I think I like you..." I blinked confusedly a few times and paused. The longer I was silent, the more worried Luna looked. Then I was just glad Luna considered me her friend.

"Oh. Well sure! I like you too!" Luna blinked at me before a wide smile spread across her face.

"You do? You do!! Oh good!" She rushed over to me and wrapped me in both of her forelegs. "I... I was worried there for a moment that you wouldn't feel the same... After all, I'm a completely different species..."

"Why wouldn't I? I mean, we have tons of fun together. When you're not sending me on missions. I enjoy our speech lessons, you gave me a gift that I've used more than any gift I've ever recieved, hell, you gave me the best paying job I've ever had! Besides, I can honestly say I like you ponies more than any of my own species."

"I feel like you've done so much more for me than I have you..."

"Well, that's not true and it doesn't matter... Hugs don't usually last this long you know."

"... Just a bit longer? I haven't felt like this in so long..."

"Uhh... ok." I waited for awhile as Luna held me. She was standing on her back legs, so my head was next to her stomach as she hugged me. She released me suddenly after about a minute.

"My, this is so improper... Umm... How to go about this... Look, we can't tell anypony about this."

"Okayyyy... why?"

"It wouldn't be recieved well if it were discovered how we feel. I am your employer and a princess after all..."

"Oh... riiiiight... Well, I promise not to tell anypony. Now if you don't mind, I need to go home and see my son. Oh! And introduce Scarlet to my friend."

"So soon? But we just... Very well... You'll return soon though, yes?"

"Uhh... sure. Any time you call I suppose." Luna's smile grew and she gave me another quick hug.

"Fantastic! Let us go get your friend and I'll send you on your way." We left Luna's chambers to find Scarlet waiting by the door.

"Oh! You're done talking! Great."

"Yes we are... You didn't hear anything did you?" Luna asked.

"Umm... no. Why, should I have?"

"No, nevermind. Be on your way now!" Luna sent me a smile and a small wink before we both disappeared. Luna ran back into her room and jumped on her bed before exploding into a fit of giggles. "Ooooh I feel like a filly again!" She exclaimed giddily. "He likes me!"

"I wonder why Luna wouldn't want me telling ponies about our friendship..." I muttered as Scarlet and I flashed into the Library.

"What was that?"

"Oh nothing. Why do I almost always appear in the library? Oh well. Twilight?! You here!?" I got no response at all. "Huh... she must be out doing something. Well, let's go meet Esmerelda. After that I'll introduce you to the rest of my friends."

"Ok, sounds nice." We set out of the library and towards the mountain. Which had a few faded smoke puffs around it.

"Oh, she's calling me! We better hurry!" I grabbed Scarlet and lifted her into my arms before starting a sprint towards the mountains.

"Ah crap..." I mumbled as I made it to the base of the mountain.

"What's wrong?" Scarlet asked from my arms.

"My blades are broken. That means I get to rock climb... which is much less safe..."

"Why don't you just walk up the mountain?" Scarlet wiggled out of my arms and walked slightly up the side of the mountain. At an impossible angle. Dang cartoon physics. "Like this."

"Well, I'm not a pony like you. Unfortunately I'm bound by the laws of physics."

"The laws of what?"

"Nevermind. Let's just start climbing." I stepped towards the mountain and grabbed onto a few jutting rocks. I pulled myself up into a slow climb and we were on our way to Esmerelda. I was actually making pretty good progress despite my lack of climbing blades. I was getting tired much faster though, and I had to stop climbing once we reached a rather large ledge at about 1/4th of the way up the mountain. Scarlet was obviously getting impatient, but she didn't press me. Oddly enough though, I heard some familiar voices coming from below us.

"A-are you s-sure I have to help with t-this dragon too?" I heard Fluttershy from below us.

"Of course Fluttershy! We never would have gotten rid of the last one without you." Twilight said assuringly.

"Yeah! We woulda been in serious trouble if you hadn't been there!" RD added.

"Don't you worry 'bout it Sugarcube. You'll be just fine." Applejack assured Fluttershy.

"Oh hey! My friends are here!" I mumbled to Scarlet.

"Why are you whispering?" She muttered back.

"I'm gonna suprise them when they come up here."

"On a mountain? Won't they fall?"

"Nah... As far as I can tell, physics here don't work that way."

"But I've seen ponies fall off mountains..."

"Oh... Well then we shouldn't suprise them." I stuck my head out over the ledge and waved at the girls. "Heeeeeyyyyy yoooouuuuu guuuuuyssss!" I yelled down at them. They were still a few yards below us. They looked around confusedly for a few seconds until they saw me.

"Sharky!!" I heard a few of them yell happily. Then there was a pause before they took off towards me. A huge smile crossed my face. For the first time in a long time, I was finally going to see my friends again.

Author's note:

As to Luna's strange behavior, it hit me while I was writing that she has had little to no social interactions for almost a thousand years!!! Of course she won't remember what love feels like. Thus the strange reactions.

Checkup

"Well howdy there Sharky!" Applejack was, suprisingly, the first one to reach me. "Ah got some good news!"

"Really? I've been trapped in a desert with undead for the past few days. I could use some good news."

"Uhhh... Right. Anyway, it look like you an' me are in-laws!"

"What?"

"Sharky!" RD yelled as she reached me. She ran right over and hug-tackled me to the ground. I let out a small gasp and wrapped my arms around her.

"Hey! Nice to see you again!"

"Oh I missed you soooo much!" I couldn't see who said that, but I recognized the voice as Fluttershy's. I lifted my right arm away from RD and held it out for her. She snuggled into my grasp and I wrapped her into the hug.

"Missed you too Shy... You wouldn't believe what I've been through..."

"Oh Sharky... you're bleeding..." Fluttershy mumbled as she poked my arm softly. I looked over to my arm to see that the scratches I had gotten from crashing through the undead dragon's skull had re-opened. I quickly seperated myself from the girls and sat up to see that all of my scratches had re-opened. RD's stomach and cheek was covered with little red spots, the same for Fluttershy.

"Oh geez, I'm getting you all bloody..."

"Sharky! It's so good to see you again dear!" Rarity cheered as she reached us. I held out an open palm to keep her from charging at me. "Umm Sharky... Could I get a hug? Why are you stopping me?" Rarity tried to move around my hand.

"I'm covered in blood. You don't want to get your coat dirty, do you?"

"Oh... Well... I can wash it out!" Rarity dodged around my arm and tackled me. I laughed heavily as Rarity wrapped her hooves around my neck.

"Well, if she gets a hug, I hope I can have one too..." Twilight spoke up.

"As long as you don't mind bloo-- oof!" Before I could even finish talking, Twilight tackled me too.

"Ooooh~ Group hugs!" Pinkie Pie cheered as she jumped into the hug too. We all laughed as I hugged the three girls. I smiled at Applejack and waved her over.

"C'mon Applejack! There's room for one more!" Applejack let out a light laugh before trotting over and hugging me.

"Why not? After all, yer family now!" I held the hug for a few more seconds before I released the girls. I turned to Applejack after we all seperated.

"So, what's this about in-laws and family?"

"Well, Fang and Winnona got reeeeal close while you were gone. In fact, there might be some puppies here soon!"

"... Oh dear..."

"Yeah, sure is great news ain't it?"

"Sure, sure... but unexpected... I'm sorry about that."

"What's ta be sorry about? Winnona's happy, Fang's happy, we should be happy too!"

"Ok... you're sure handling that differently than I would have expected..."

"Anyway!" Twilight interrupted. "What took you so long to come home?! You were only supposed to try to talk to the crazy ponies, not trot off with them!"

"Oh yeah! That reminds me, meet one of those crazy ponies. This is Scarlet, Scarlet Scales. This girl saved my life." Scarlet blushed as I pointed at her and shifted her glasses nervously.

"I... I didn't really do anything... It was Sharky that kept us alive the whole time..."

"Alive during what? According to Luna, you were just wandering through a desert..." Twilight asked suspiciously.

"Uhh... We got attacked! Yeah! By giant scorpions!" I lied. "I helped fend them off."

"Then how did Scarlet here save your life?" RD asked.

"Uhh... I got poisoned by one! Yeah, Scarlet here sucked the poison out... That's what happened... yeah..." Scarlet seemed confused, but she nodded along with my story. She got a few strange glares from some of the girls, but it seemed that they believed me.

"Okay... well, what are you doing here dear? There's a dragon in this mountain!" Rarity warned. I smiled and waved a hand dismissively.

"Yeah, a good friend of mine. Her name is Esmerelda. I was actually taking Scarlet to meet her!" Everypony except for Twilight and Scarlet dropped their jaws. "Why the hell does everypony do that?"

"F-friends?! With a big, mean, scary adult dragon?!" Fluttershy squeaked.

"No, she's a sweet, kind, not scary at all dragon. Actually, why don't you guys come and meet her too? She'd really enjoy that!" I turned to the rock face of the mountain and started climbing again. The girls exchanged a few glances.

"Why are you doing that?" RD asked as I climbed.

"Because I'm bound by physics! Now are you coming or not? Please say not." I continued my climb and the girls slowly started to follow me. After about two more hours and three more breaks, we had finally arrived at the top of the mountain. "Wow I climb fast..." I mumbled to myself as I looked down off of the ledge next to Esmerelda's cave. The girls all climbed up after me.

"Oh? Is that Sharky I hear?!" Esmerelda called from inside the cave.

"Yeah, it's me! I brought some friends to see you!"

"You did? Shoot..."

"What?"

"Nothing! I'll be right out!" There was a huge shifting sound from the cave as Esmerelda moved around. A few seconds later, she stuck her head out of the cave. "Sharky! How nice to see you again!"

"Nice to see you too! Why were you calling me?"

"If you brought company then it doesn't matter right now. Anyway, where are these friends you were talking about?"

"They're right next to me." Esmerelda shifted her gaze sightly to the side to see my friends.

"Oh, of course. Silly me. Sharky has told me so much about all of you! Let's see... Little blue one--"

"Hey! Who you calling little?!" RD shouted back. Esmerelda chuckled.

"You must be Rainbow Dash, the brave one. Let's see... ah, the pink one. You must be Pinkie Pie, the excited one."

"I sure am Pinkie Pie! Wowie, I've never met a dragon as big as you that wasn't a big meanie before! Last time there was a dragon here he was super mean and he beat up my friends!"

"Well he sounds like a terrible brute. I'd hate to meet him. Ah, you must be Rarity, the pretty one!" Esmerelda turned her gaze to Rarity.

"Oh, pretty? Is that what he said about me?"

"Well, he said all of you were pretty in your own way, I was just making my own observation."

"Ah... Well how kind of you."

"Not a problem. Now, ah, I remember you... I saw you earlier when I picked up Sharky in Canterlot... Twilight, yes? You're the smart one."

"Pleased to meet you miss Esmerelda!" Twilight beamed happily. Esmerelda beamed back at her, which involved a lot of pointy teeth. Fluttershy squealed and hid behind Applejack.

"Oh, who is this? Ah, you must be Fluttershy! The shy one." Fluttershy didn't move from behind Applejack. Esmerelda clicked her tounge disappointedly.

"Ah apologize miss. She don't mean any disrespect, she's just very... delicate."

"You must be Applejack. You're the tough one." Applejack nodded respectfully.

"Ah sure am. Worked on a farm mah whole life."

"Yes, Sharky told me... but who is this?" Esmerelda shifted her head to look at Scarlet. "I've not heard anything about you from Sharky..."

"W-we just met a few days ago..."

"Oh? You seem nervous... Am I scaring you? I'm sorry..."

"No no! The opposite in fact! I've wanted to meet a nice dragon like you my whole life!"

"Really? Well, what is your name little one?"

"I'm Scarlet Scales! You're very pretty for a dragon!"

"Oh... well thank you."

"No, I mean it! Your scales are soooo shiny! The only dragon scales I've ever seen are dull and dirty."

"Well uh... I bathe daily..."

"You're sooo big! How old are you? You've gotta be at least a thousand or so years old!"

"Just about 1,200 years old... You're a very inquisitive one aren't you?"

"Oh yes, I want to learn all I can about dragons!"

"Well, I'd be happy to oblige. Sorry girls, I guess we can talk a little more later. Right now I think this little one would like to have my full attention."

"It's no problem miss Esmerelda. We'd be happy to come by later and really get to talk to you a bit more. Right girls?" Twilight asked. The girls all nodded with smiles. Except fluttershy. She just continued hiding behind Applejack and quivered. We all started to leave as Scarlet rattled out more questions, but Esmerelda caught me with a foretalon.

"Ummm, not you Sharky. I'd prefer you stay until I'm done with Scarlet here."

"Why?"

"Well, I did call you here. I had hoped we could talk alone when everypony else leaves..."

"Uhhh... sure, I guess. Aw hell no! I got better things to do bitch!" I sat down on the ledge and looked out over the forest and Ponyville as Esmerelda went back to talking to Scarlet. I sat and stared at the world below me. I must have zoned out, because before I knew it Scarlet was tapping on my shoulder. I sat up quickly and turned to look at her. "Gah?! Hmm? Oh, Scarlet. You startled me."

"Oh, I'm sorry... but look!" Scarlet turned her head towards her back. I looked where she was pointing, and there was a little pink dragon with light blue spines on her back!

"Whoa! Where the heck did that come from?!"

"Esmerelda was showing me her eggs, and one of them hatched! He saw me first, so he thinks I'm his mama!"

"Oh no... uhh... You realize you can't keep him right?" Scarlet frowned at me and slumped over slightly.

"Aww... why not?"

"Yes, why can't she?" Esmerelda asked from the mouth of the cave.

"Because there's no way she can take care of a baby dragon all by herself!"

"Of course I can! I know everything about baby dragons! I know how much food they need, how long they need to sleep for proper development, how long it'll take the little guy to grow up, how to work out his wings when the develop, h--"

"Ok I get it! Well, as long as you promise to keep him safe and keep him a secret for as long as you can, I guess it's ok."

"Hooray! Yes! This is a dream come true!"

"Yes yes, well time to get you home Scarlet." Esmerelda interrupted her celebration.

"What? We just met though... Can't I stay here a bit longer?"

"Don't you have family that miss you?" I spoke up. Scarlet turned to me and opened her mouth, but then she just closed it and nodded slowly. "Well, then we should get you back to them."

"Ok..." I pulled out my phone and hit Luna's call button. She picked it up on the second ring.

"Oh, Sharky! We... I hadn't expected you to call back so soon!"

"Oh, did I interrupt something?"

"No no, don't worry. I'm not busy."

"Ok, good. Scarlet's ready to go home now."

"Oh, she is? Fantastic... ummm... Sharky, is anypony near you right now?"

"Uhh... Scarlet. I can move away if you need to tell me something."

"Yes, please do so." I waved Scarlet away from me and stood up from the ledge to walk a few feet away from her.

"Ok, as long as I'm quiet she can't hear me."

"Fantastic, I had a question to ask you..."

"Fire away Princess."

"I know this is a bit sudden, but... would mind joining me for dinner this Hearts and Hooves Day?"

"Uhh sure. When is that?"

"Why, that's tomorrow night!"

"Wow, that's awfully soon. Eh, no problem Luna. I'd love to have dinner with you."

"Yay! This shall be most fun! Ehm, anyway, where is miss Scarlet?" I walked back over to Scarlet and turned the phone towards her. "Ah, excellent. See you again soon sharky!"

"Bye guys!" Scarlet disappeared in a flash of black light as Luna hung up.

"Whew, everypony's gone Esmerelda!"

"Oh good." Esmerelda had crawled back into her cave. "So, dinner plans with 'Tia's little sister hmm?"

"What how did you even hear that!?"

"I have hawk-like ears dear. I suppose I hadn't realized you were in a relationship with Luna..."

"What?"

"You and Luna. You're dating, right?"

"Huh? No! No way! She's a princess, there's no way she'd date me! We're just having dinner as friends." Esmerelda poked her head back out of her cave and grinned at me.

"Good, that certainly changes things..."`

"Ok then. Anyway, what did you want to talk about?"

"Oh, I just needed your help with something... Could you come into my cave?"

"Yeah, sure." Esmerelda ducked her head back into her cave as I walked towards it. I heard her shifting around as I walked in. Suddenly, before I stepped in, the inside of the cave was filled with bright blue flames. I squinted and shielded my eyes, but it was over in just seconds. I opened my eyes again and stepped into the cave. Esmerelda was nowhere in sight. "Esmerelda?"

"I'm over hereeee~!" She called in a strange tone. I could only see a huge pile of gems in the center of the cave. On top of the gems sat the rest of the eggs. There was nothing else in the cave, and I couldn't see Esmerelda. I walked further into the cave and behind the gem pile. There I found Esmerelda, laying on her back as a pony. Her hooves were all spread apart and she was giving me a strange look. I decided to sit down to be closer to her eye level.

"Uhh... what did you need help with?"

"Sharky, let's not play games here. Simple fact is you won't live as long as I will, so we should do what we can while we can. Since you don't have anything going on with Luna, what do you say to taking my pony form for a test ride?"

"Umm... what exactly am I testing?"

"Oh, I just want to make sure everything is working properly... You mind helping me with that?"

"Uhh... I dunno. I really shouldn't be here too long, I really want to see my son." Esmerelda stood up and trotted over to me. She walked by right in front of me, gently brushing my face occasionally with a stray sway to the side. As she passed, she flicked her tail at my nose. It tickled a little and I wiggled my nose to keep from sneezing.

"Oh, I don't think we'll take too long... At least not this time, I'm sure we can take our time later."

"Sure, if you think we won't take too long." Esmerelda smiled at me again before laying down in front of me. I smiled back at her and reached out to stroke her mane. Esmerelda closed her eyes and leaned into my hand. Then I gave her mane a tug. Her eyes flew open and she flinched.

"Ow! What did you do that for?!"

"Well, your hair is strong and shiny. You must be pretty healthy."

"What?"

"Your frame is pretty slim though, have you been eating like you should lately?"

"Excuse me?"

"As for muscle, you seem to be pretty under-developed. You don't work a lot in this form, do you?"

"Oh my Celestia..."

"Lemme see your teeth, open wide." Esmerelda opened her mouth obediently. "Mhmm, perfect. If I didn't know any better, I'd say you had them straightened and whitened." She closed her mouth again.

"You're actually checking to make sure everything works..." She muttered.

"Well yeah, wasn't that the point?"

"... My head hurts..."

Showers

"Alright, that finishes your examination Esmerelda."

"That... was nothing like I'd hoped..."

"Oh, well I'm sorry. Maybe I can preform a... deeper search later. Bye!" Esmerelda blinked a few times as I left her cave.

"... Did... Did he just come on to me? Oh, he's getting away! Wait!" I stopped mid-stride and turned back to her.

"Yeeees?"

"Ummm... Would you mind too terribly joining me for lunch tomorrow?"

"Oh, sure I'll join you for lunch! Gotta go, bye! Keep trying, but trust me, you will get no dickings from this guy." I leaned out over the ledge and let myself fall forward. I grabbed the side of the mountain as I fell, and started climbing down.

"Next time... next time, for sure."

After about another two hours of climbing, I was finally on my way back to Ponyville. Which was great, because it was starting to get late. I was on my way to Fluttershy's house, and wen I got there, I was suprised to see Twilight, RD, and Rarity in the house along with Fluttershy. They appeared to be having a heated argument, but I couldn't tell what it was about. They were whispering and talking over one another, so all I heard was a small jumble of noise. Oh, and gravity appeared to be reversed in the house. They were all sitting on the ceiling alongside upside down furniture and very confused looking animals.

Nothing strange here.

"Hi girls!" They all turned towards me in suprise, but smiled when they saw me. Twilight waved me over, so I walked in only to get sucked right up to the ceiling. I smacked my head pretty hard on a pot that was above me, but other than a minor pain I was fine. I flipped myself around to stand up on the ceiling and walked over to them.

"Hey Sharky! Could you talk with us for a minute?" RD asked. I walked past them.

"In a minute. I've been waiting to see somepony..." I walked right into Fluttershy's bedroom and fell back down to the ground. Which was covered in peanut butter. I landed face first in it and got most of my front covered in it as I landed. "I see somepony has been having fun. Little fucking twerp. I outta wring his neck..." I pushed myself up out of the peanut butter and walked over to Unity's crib. I looked down at him to see his eyes gently fluttering open before slowly closing again. He was almost asleep. I smiled down at his peaceful form and patted his head softly with the back of my hand. The front was covered in peanut butter. "Daddy's finally home again..." I whispered to him. A smile smile grew on his face as he closed his eyes peacefully.

"Whoa!" One of the girls whisper-shouted in the other room. I heard a few light bumps as they all hit the ground. I flinched slightly and had to refrain from giggling. I walked back to the main room and saw the girls all lying in a suprised pile. For some reason, the furniture all landed back down perfectly.

"Wow, what happened to you?" Twilight grunted as she tried to extract herself from her friends. I was still covered in peanut butter.

"What happened to you?" I countered. Twilight nodded respectfully.

"Touche."

"W-would you mind helping us?" Fluttershy mumbled from the bottom of the pile of mares. I laughed and walked over to them. I pulled them all off of each other and set them down.

"Ugh, what is that on your hands dear?! It will take me forever to get this out of my coat!" Rarity complained.

"Quit whining, at least you aren't still in a pile."

"I'm not whining, I'm complaining. If you want whining, I'd be happy to give it to you."

"Please, go ahead."

"Alright, just remember you asked for it... This stuff is sticky! My head hurts! I'm going to have to wash myself for hours! It smells funny! Plus I still have blood in my coat!" I closed my eyes and nodded as Rarity wailed on. After about a solid minute, she seemed to notice I wasn't annoyed in the slightest. The rest of the girls all uncovered their ears as she stopped. "Do you wish for me to continue?" Rarity asked shakily. Obviously she wasn't used to getting the reaction I was giving her.

"Do your worst, I used to babysit for a family with six little girls. You couldn't phase me." Rarity seemed taken back for a moment. The rest of the girls all seemed shocked that I hadn't even bothered to cover my ears. "Now, if the peanut butter is really a problem, you could ask for help with it instead of 'complaining'." I pointed out calmly.

"... O-ok... Could you help me wash out the peanut butter?"

"Sure. Let's get to the bathroom. I need to wash it off of myself too."

"Alright dear..." Rarity followed me to the bathroom in a daze. I grinned as I realized she was shocked that I was immune to one of her most powerful weapons. I took her to the shower and stepped in. Rarity stayed behind confusedly.

"Well? Get in here." I ordered. A light blush spread across Rarity's face and she stepped into the shower with me. I turned on the water and it rained down on us, cold as ice.

"Oh my! C-cold!" Rarity exclaimed. She quickly balled herself up against my legs and shivered. I laughed a little.

"Calm down, it'll warm up in a second."

"S-shouldn't you have let it w-warm up f-first!?"

"Nnope. We'll be fine. See? It's already getting warm." It wasn't really, the water in Fluttershy's shower didn't get very hot. Rarity was getting used to the cold though, so she fell for the power of persuasion.

"I s-suppose it is... getting hotter in here..." The blush on her face spread even more.

"Bow chicka bow wow. See, I told you so. Now, lemme see where you got peanut butter on you..." Rarity nervously held out a foreleg as the water soaked into us. Her mane was already un-curling and her coat was getting soaked. I picked up Fluttershy's shampoo and used it to quickly clean what little peanut butter was left on my hands. After that, I applied it generously on the element of generosity's leg. I rubbed it gently until all the peanut butter washed off of her coat. "Anywhere else?" Rarity had closed her eyes and was smiling lightly.

"Hmm? Oh... uhh... I think I have some on my back..." She turned around so that her tail was towards me and I could see her back. I couldn't see anything, so I moved my hand towards her back and started weaving my hand through her coat to see if I could find some.

"I'm not seeing any..." I mumbled to her. Rarity turned her head quickly.

"Really?" She blurted as her back scraped against my arm. Which I hadn't washed the peanut butter off of yet. The peanut butter from my arm got smeared all over her back. "Oops..." She mumbled.

"Ugh... Oh well, might as well just clean it off while we're here anyway..." I applied some more shampoo to Rarity's back and started rubbing the peanut butter out of her coat again. Since she had actually rubbed the peanut butter deeper into her coat by rubbing my arm, I had to put a decent amount of pressure onto my rubbing to actually get it out. "I'm not hurting you am I?" I asked cautiously as I rubbed Rarity's back.

"Hmm? Oh no... that's nice..." Rarity's head was tilted slightly to the side and she appeared to be just fine. I finally managed to get all of the peanut butter out of her coat after about six minutes of scrubbing. I then quickly washed off both of my arms up to my shoulders to keep from getting her dirty again.

"Ok, anywhere else?"

"Oh... uhh... Oh! I still have those spots of blood all over my belly. Would you mind...?"

"Sure, I'll help you. I'mma give you more than blood spots if this isn't over soon..." Rarity somehow gracefully managed to roll onto her back in front of me. Her head was close to the wall that had the showerhead on it, so now only her lower body was getting wet from the falling water. She held all her hooves apart, totally exposing her belly... and other places. I coughed and turned my head to look away for a moment as I composed myself. I could feel a small blush creeping across my face.

"Is something the matter dear?" Rarity asked teasingly from below me. I shook my head and turned back to her. Because she was now so close to the ground, I had to place one of my knees on both sides of her and sit to reach her belly. Which held my lower body right over hers. Damn moments like those make me regret the metal crotchplate. The blood that had been on her belly was now dried and brown. When I scrubbed it, it stuck stubbornly to the coat and took quite awhile to get off.

"Heh heh, this is too funny... Damn, these spots are annoying." I mumbled to myself. I was rubbing Rarity's belly as firmly as I dared, but luckily she didn't seem to mind my force. Her eyes were closed and her tounge lolled out of her mouth slightly. I did my best to avoid the spots lower on her body, but eventually they were the only ones left. I could feel a deep warm blush on my face as I rubbed dangerously low on Rarity.

"Please, be thorough there... I woudn't want you to miss anything..." Rarity practically whispered. I nodded quietly and steeled my resolve to just get this done. The longer I scrubbed, Rarity started doing this odd twitching thing. Her ears fluttered slightly and her breath came out in short gasps. I didn't really know what to think, so I just went back to work. I was finally on the lowest spots after about 20 solid minutes of cleaning. Rarity's eyes were fluttering and she was letting out small whines when I finally cleaned off the last spot.

"Ok Rarity, all clean!" I announced proudly as I pulled my hands away with cat-like speed. Rarity's eyes flew open and she looked kind of scared.

"No! No no no! I can't be clean already!"

"Uhh... is that a bad thing?" Rarity closed her eyes again and sighed.

"No, I suppose it isn't. It was nice while it lasted though..."

"Well ok. Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to clean myself now."

"Oh... umm... You know, since you helped me, I could help you..."

"Nah. I'll be fine."

"Oh but I insist darling! It wouldn't be polite to not return a favor! Especially between such good friends like us!"

"Uhh... I dunno... I mean... like I explained, humans are much different than ponies... it might not be the same kinda thing if you washed me."

"Oh please dear, don't be such a foal about it. It's just... one friend helping another..." She slowly dragged a hoof across my chest as she spoke, leaving a line in the small layer of peanut butter covering me. She lifted her hoof and showed me the lump of peanut butter on it. "Besides, you can hardly expect me to believe you can get this all off of yourself as quickly as somepony else could..."

"Well... you make a good point... I suppose... If you really say there's nothing to worry about..."

"Of course there isn't dear. Now, just lay back and let me straighten you right up..." I shifted myself around and adjusted Rarity a little so that she sat on top of me in one of the few spots that was peanut butter free. Luckily some metal plating was still seperating us. In retrospect, I had no idea why I wore it in the shower, but I was glad I did. Otherwise I might have disturbed Rarity with... yeah. Rarity set to work on me, and I tried to make myself relax...

Bad idea.

Busy

Because my eyes were closed, I couldn't really tell what Rarity was doing. I could feel the slightly cold touch of shampoo as some of it was drizzled onto my chest, and the soothing circular motions of Rarity's hooves as she rubbed it on me. Her movements were always accompanied by a gentle tingle where ever she had been rubbing, which was soon dulled by the relentless onpour from the showerhead. I felt strangely relaxed for some reason, despite certain desires raging for my attention. I forced myself to remain calm as Rarity ran her hooves all over my chest. I could feel her tracing my scars, especially the giant 'X' the ursa had given me. She let out a small gasp each time she traced the length of it, as if always suprised with the size of it. I would have thought she had gotten all the peanut butter off of me rather quickly since I didn't have a coat, but she rubbed my chest for a really long time. Then, I felt her stand up on top of me and shift around. She sat back down quickly, but her tail smacked against my face.

"Huh? What're you doing Rarity?" I asked as I peeked out of my right eye. All I saw was Rarity's tail. She swished it around a bit, gently dragging it across my face a few times.

"Just removing this pesky armor to clean you more efficiently." I quickly sat up, toppling Rarity over. "Waah!"

"Sorry, not removing the armor. Aww dammit!" I protested quickly. Rarity threw me an annoyed look.

"Then how am I ever going to finish you off dear?"

"I'm clean anyway, the armor kept my lower body from getting dirty."

"... That's not what I meant..."

"Ehm, anyway, we're clean, time to get out." I quickly shut off the water and stepped out of the shower. Rarity hesitated slightly before following me out.

"Fine... by the way, Sharky, are you free tomorrow?"

"Uhh... not for lunch or dinner, but any other time sure."

"What? Why aren't you free for lunch or dinner?"

"Spending lunch with Esmerelda and dinner with Luna."

"Oh Hearts and Hooves Day?! Y-you aren't... dating either of them... are you?!"

"What? No! Geez, a guy can't have a meal with a good friend on Hearts and Hooves Day?"

"Oh... just a meal? Well... alright then. If you're not too terribly busy, would you mind coming to the boutique for tea after your lunch?"

"Of course I'll come!" I grabbed a towel from a rack on the wall and started drying myself off. Rarity levitated herself one as well and I opened the door to leave the bathroom. I revealed the other three girls, completely covered in peanut butter. RD stepped forward with a sly smile.

"Hey Sharky. Could I get a little help cleaning up too? Oh, and I heard about your tea thing with Rarity, would you mind if I joined?" She asked boldly. I didn't quite know how to react. So I groaned at the cleaning, then smiled to her for the tea.

"I suppose I can clean you too, and of course you can join us for tea. The more the merrier. Now come on in." I held the bathroom door wider for her and Rarity left as she walked in. Rarity appeared to be staring daggers at the other girls.

"Oh, and when you're done with Rainbow, could you help us too?" Twilight guestured to herself and Fluttershy.

"A-and can w-we come to tea t-too?" Fluttershy added timidly. I smiled at them.

"Yes to both questions, now let me wash Rainbow here and you'll be next Fluttershy." With that, I closed the door and turned to the tub. RD was already laying down in the tub, hooves splayed fearlessly. I flinched and partially shielded my eyes before I recovered and tried not to react again.

"What's wrong Sharky?" RD asked teasingly.

"Nothing, nothing. Let's just get to work."

"Oh, eager to get right to it huh?" She laughed. I rolled my eyes.

"It's just two friends cleaning each other in the shower, don't make it wierd dude."

"Oh, I don't plan on it..." She mumbled. I turned the shower water without getting in, drenching RD with freezing water. She didn't twitch.

"Whoa, you not cold?" I asked with mild suprise. RD just laughed.

"Nah, I spend a lot of time flying reaaaaally high, so I don't get cold easy."

"Ah, I guess that makes sense."

"Well, we don't have all day! Let's get to it!" RD yelled playfully. She wiggled slightly in the tub in a... cute way. I didn't often find myself thinking about the girls as cute, but she was pulling it off nicely. I brought my hands to her stomach and started rubbing a little. I was only trying to figure out how deep in her coat the peanut butter was before I started using shampoo. Whatever had gotten this stuff in her coat had been thorough. I would have to use a lot of shampoo and a lot of force to get it out. I sighed again as I sat down next to the tub and prepared for a long scrub.

"Ok RD, this stuff is really deep in your coat, so this might hurt a little..." I warned. RD opened her mouth to respond, but then I started pouring the shampoo on her stomach. She flinced a little in suprise, clamping her mouth shut in the process. I chuckled under my breath slightly before reaching down to scrub RD's stomach. I started off by rubbing all over her quickly to make sure the shampoo got all over her before it washed away. Once I had her belly all nice and sudsy, I started woking on cleaning her chest.

"Wow, Sharky... That feels.... nice..." RD mumbled. I gave her a small look of confusion. I hadn't even really done anything yet. Rarity's reaction had been understandable, I had rubbed her for awhile. If RD was already enjoying herself, this would be interesting. I tried not to think too much about what was going on. Of course the girls would enjoy this, it was a massage after all... kinda. From fingers. All they had ever felt were those big blocky hooves. I was sure there was no other reason they'd act like this. After a few minutes of scrubbing, I had finally cleaned her chest. Now I had to work lower down on her stomach.

"Ok... uhh... This will be a bit awkward for me, so... Don't do anything to mess with me... Please?" RD smiled and nodded right as I set to work on her upper belly, right below her ribcage. After only a few seconds, I could see that RD was struggling with something. He eyes were shut tightly and her cheeks were puffed out slightly, as if she were suppressing some sort of scream. I raised an eyebrow in confusion, but continued scrubbing anyway. Soon, I had cleaned her upper belly, and regrettably had to go further down on her body. The peanut butter went really low on her. Thankfully it didn't cover anything that would send RD the wrong message if I touched it, but it was pretty dang close.

"Oh, wow..." RD mumbled again. Her left hindleg started kicking in the air excitedly as I reached a spot near the center of her belly. She reminded me of a small puppy with the way her tounge lolled out of her mouth and her leg kicked helplessly. I laughed a little as I started rubbing the spot with both hands. RD's leg started kicking even faster.

"Oh my god, this is freaking adorable..." I chuckled as I rubbed mercilessly at her tickle-spot. RD's gasps grew faster and faster as I rubbed, almost blurring together as her leg turned into a cartoonish blur. As if that weren't cute enough, her wings began to flutter against the tub helplessly. Then, I slowed my movements as I had a sudden realization. As RD lolled out her tounge and kicked excitedly, I was overtaken with disgust for myself. I had just been treating one of my friends, one of the mane six, like a pet dog! I quickly removed my hands and RD's happy expression contorted into one of annoyance.

"W-why the h-hell did you s-stop?!" She gasped unsteadily. I blinked in suprise at her anger. had expected her to be angry, but not at the fact that I had stopped treating her like a dog.

"I was... treating you wrong?" My answer came out as more of a question.

“W-whaddya mean ‘treating me wrong’? That was awesome!” RD was starting to get her breath back.

“Well uhh... you see, when you pet a dog in a spot that they enjoy, their legs twitch. I just made you do that kinda... and it was so damn cute I didn’t stop to realize I was treating you more like a pet than a friend...” RD frowned at me a little.

“So to be clear, you stopped rubbing me because I was enjoying it?”

“Well no...”

“Because you just said that dogs do that when they get rubbed in whatever spot.”

“Well yes, but you’re--”

“So you just don’t want me to enjoy this?”

“Now hold on there, I didn’t--”

“You just don’t wanna make me happy, do you?”

“Of course I do!” I protested quickly to keep RD from interrupting me again. She had rolled to her hooves and was standing in the tub. The torrent of water from the showerhead did nothing to hide the trace of anger on her face. At my shout however, she slumped down a little and looked more sad than angry.

“Coulda fooled me...” She muttered glumly. I frowned and reached out to rub her neck lightly.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Well... it’s just that... *sigh* Sharky, remember the day you took me to that Wonderbolts show?” I flinched slightly.

“I sure remember flying backward into that very solid brick wall.” RD chuckled quietly.

“I’m sure the wall was hurt way more. Anyway, that day... that was the best day of my life.” RD let out a shuddering sigh and looked me right in the eyes. “You gave me the best day of my life.”

“Uhh... N-no problem?” RD’s stare was making me a little nervous for some reason.

“But... ever since then it almost feels like you’ve been completely ignoring me! ... And... I really wish you would uhh... spend more... time with... me...” RD’s speech slowed down more and more as she talked.

“That’s fucking stupid. Oh... I’m sorry RD, I haven’t been ignoring you, honest! I have. I’d really like to spend more time with you...” RD sniffled just a little. it had obviously really hurt her pride to have to ask me to hang out with her.

“I... I’m sorry...” She mumbled, causing me to rock back just a little in surprise. “I know you aren’t ignoring me... you’re just... always so busy.” I thought for a moment before sighing heavily.

“Well, you’re right. I am too busy.” I started cleaning RD’s back and wings as I talked. “I honestly can’t remember a day I’ve relaxed since I got here. Excepting the days I was unconscious.” RD seemed to think about my words for a moment.

“Hmm, me either...” She admitted. Then I had a thought.

“You know what? Enough is enough. I’m sure Equestria won’t blow up if I take a day off. I’m busy tomorrow, but I’ll spend the whole day after that with you!” A look of pure happiness spread across her face.

“Really?! A whole day for just us?”

“Yeah, sure. I’ve been meaning to spend more time with my friends anyway.” RD pumped a hoof in the air victoriously.

“Yes!” She cheered, but her smile quickly turned into a small frown again. She turned and looked me in the eyes again. “Hold it. I’m gonna need you to Pinkie Promise me that day.”

“Why?”

“Well, no offense, but you run off a lot. I just wanna make sure you stick with me.”

“... Fair point. Fine. I promise I’ll spend the day after tomorrow with you. Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.”

“Great!” RD’s smile returned just as quickly as it had vanished.

“Eeyup, now you’re all clean! I’ll get a towel for you real quick.” A small look of surprise appeared on RD’s face as she turned to see that she was now totally clean. Then she looked slightly disappointed. “Could you send Fluttershy in here next?” I asked as I took her out of the shower and wrapped a towel around her. RD nodded quietly and left without another word. Immediately after the door closed whispers started in the other room. I was curious at first, but I decided to clean off the peanut butter on the bottom of the tub rather than snoop. Right as I finished, Fluttershy stepped lightly into the room. Her face was already bright red and she couldn’t seem to muster the strength to look at me.

“R-ready S-s-sharky...” Her words were so quiet I had to lean towards her to hear. She didn’t have near as much peanut butter on her as RD, but there would still be plenty of cleaning.

“Heh heh, no need to be so nervous Shy, just come and get in the shower.” Fluttershy nodded silently and slowly trotted over. She jumped in on her own, and I smiled at her as I went to work.

Song

"So, why are you so nervous already Fluttershy?" I asked as I worked my way through cleaning Fluttershy's wings. Her wings stood out perfectly straight, each individual feather seemed to be trying to extend itself further. It was obviously a reaction to me rubbing her wings, but I decided to not let it bug me. Fluttershy, unlike the others, was standing up as straight as she could and her eyes were open wide. She looked terrified, like a deer in front of an oncoming truck. At least the others had enjoyed themselves.

"I'm n-not nervous..." She muttered. Her voice was airy and light, as if she were afraid to break something with her words. Her face was still bright red.

"Lies! Fucking liar! Now, don't lie to me. You're stiff as a freaking board and you look like you're gonna bolt for the door at any moment. What's eating you?"

"Oh... I'm s-so sorry... I've just... t-this is the first time a-anypony has touched me l-like this..." Fluttershy's voice was so light I had to lean in so that my ear was practically in her mouth to hear.

"Oh... uhh... would you like me to stop?" Fluttershy didn't respond. I started to remove my hands.

"N-no! I-I'll be f-fine..." I quickly went back to my scrubbing, but Fluttershy didn't ease up at all.

"Seriously Fluttershy, if this is bugging you I can just go." Fluttershy shook her head 'no'. I sigh in annoyance at her and focused on getting out a small bit of peanut butter stuck stubbornly in her feathers. Fluttershy started shaking as I rolled my thumb across her feathers trying to clean them. When I looked at her face she was biting her bottom lip. "Uhh... you ok?"

"... Y-yes..." She gasped slightly. Her wings must have been much more sensitive than I thought.

"Is this not bothering you?"

"W-what do you m-mean?"

"Well... I dunno. I guess I'm just still not quite used to the culture of this world. Back in my world, this would be a really sexual act. It's kinda strange for me to do this with my friends."

"N-not just y-your world..."

"What?"

"N-nothing!"

"... Riiiiight. Well, I guess it's kinda cool that friends can be this close in this world. Lets friendships run deeper. Yeah. I’mma stick to that...”

“Friendships... S-Sharky... Do you t-think of anypony as... m-more than a friend?” Fluttershy’s question was so quiet that I had to practically put my ear in her mouth to hear it.

“Fluttershy...” I inhaled deeply, getting a noseful of her apple-scented shampoo because I was still right next to her. I drew back away from her and shook the cold water off of my head. “Well, truth is I would really like a special somepony. I like the companionship it offers. However... I’m a human... Nopony here would ever truly love me. The crazy fanmares only like me for my fame, an--” My head suddenly snapped to the side. I was now staring at the bathroom door, totally confused. “... What the...” I slowly turned back to Fluttershy to see one of her forehooves raised angrily. “D... did you just... Slap me? Dafuq?” Fluttershy looked at her hoof, then back to me. She repeated the process a few times before a look of horrified realization quickly formed on her face.

“Oh my gosh I’m so sorry!” She squealed as she leapt out of the tub and hugged my chest. Her body was still totally soaked, and her belly was still covered in peanut butter. The sudden splash of freezing water and peanutty mess only served to put me further into shock. “I didn’t mean it, I promise!”

“I just got slapped by Fluttershy... Normally I’d call you a bitch for taking that slap, but I’m kinda shocked too. Ah fuck it. BITCH.”

“I’m s-so sorry!” I slowly came out of shock and looked down to the quivering pegasus attached to my chest.

“W-why? Why did you, of all ponies, slap me?”

“I d-didn’t mean to hurt you I’m s-so sorry!”

“No no, I’m not hurt. Just shocked. Why did you slap me?”

“B-because... because... Oh, I c-can’t tell you!”

“What? Why not?”

“... *sigh* I j-just can’t... I made a promise...”

“Sooo... you expect me to just let you slap me without an explanation?”

“No... Uhh... J-just... think about w-what I asked bef-fore I slapped y-you... You’re s-smart enough to figure it out...” I frowned, but Fluttershy went silent and didn’t say anything else. She simply detached herself from my chest and got back in the tub. I stepped in with her for just long enough to clean my chest. I then stepped out and dried myself before going back to work. All I could do was think about what Fluttershy had said as my hands cleansed her of the peanut butter.

Well... Let’s see, she had asked if I liked anypony... I don’t see how she could get mad at me for her question. Maybe it had something to do with my answer. Well the first thing I said was that I’d really like a special somepony... I stopped to consider how that thought might have made her mad.

Hmm... maybe she’s mad because I want to date a pony. She might not want me to cross species... I dismissed the idea almost as soon as I thought of it. Nah, Fluttershy would more likely support me. She doesn’t seem to be the kinda gal that’d be against that. Let’s see, the next thing I said was that nopony would love me... I slowly froze and looked down at Fluttershy. Her actions, her nervousness, that kiss...

HOLY CRAP DOES FLUTTERSHY LOVE ME?!? I could feel my heart speed up with elation, and a broad smile crossed my face. Then it instantly flipped into a frown. Calm down Sharky. I’m sure I would’ve figured it out before now if she loved me. I’m just getting my hopes up for nothing. Besides, why would she have slapped me for that? Okay... the last thing I said was something about the fanmares. I thought for a moment before I face-palmed.

Of course! I must have sounded like a braggart prick when I brought them up... I bet I sounded like an ass, no wonder she slapped me! Satisfied with my explanation, I returned my focus to Fluttershy. Only to find that she had already rolled onto her back and I was nearly done cleaning her.

“Holy crap, time flies when I think.” Fluttershy gave me a confused look.

“W-what? It’s only been a few s-seconds... Y-you cleaned r-really fast...”

“Oh... I guess that makes sense. Anyway, I’m sorry about my bragging Fluttershy. I didn’t even realize I was coming across like that.”

“What?”

“My bragging. I apologize. Anyway, time to get you out of the tub!” I rubbed the last bit of peanut butter off a spot dangerously low, getting an uncontrolled moan from Fluttershy. I ‘ehm’ed a bit in embarrassment before pulling a very confused and very red Fluttershy out of the tub to dry her off. I quickly wrapped her towel around her and ushered her out of the room before she could say another word. Twilight stepped in without a moment’s wait, ready to be cleaned and giving me a huge smile.

“My turn my turn!” Twilight cheered. The door magically shut behind her and she ran over to the tub.

“Uhhh... Yeah, come on in.” Twilight jumped into the tub, but leapt right back out with a shiver.

“Whoa! That’s cold! Ugh, you’d think Fluttershy would have hot water...” Twilight’s horn glowed for a few seconds, and steam started to rise from the water coming from the showerhead. Twilight eyed the steam with an approving smile. “Much better!”

“... That’s cool.” Twilight giggled a little and jumped into the now steamy water. “Now, let’s get all the peanut butter off of that pretty coat huh?” I offered as Twilight soaked in the water. She blushed.

“Oh... uhh... I-it’s not all that nice...” I paused a little. I hadn’t specifically meant she was pretty, but she was now that I thought about it. I wondered why she wouldn’t think so too.

“What do you mean Twi? You’re plenty pretty.” I grabbed the shampoo and prepared to scrub Twilight. Her blush deepened and she hid her face behind a forehoof a little. She muttered something inaudibly. “What’s up Twi? Why are you acting so shy and strange all of the sudden?”

“I-I’m not p-pretty... I’m the nerdy mare...” She mumbled shyly. I snorted.

“That’s ridiculous. You of all ponies should know that quantity of intelligence holds almost no indication of the amount of beauty.”

“... I suppose... but... j-just look at me... I’m not pretty...” Twilight was obviously stuck on the idea of her not being physically attractive. I sighed heavily.

“I’ve had this same argument with too many girls. Look, we’ll get back to this later. For now, I’m getting tired, and I wanna finish this up.” Twilight nodded silently and let me get to work. Her blush took a long time to fade. By the time I had worked my way down to her mid-back I was bored again and singing a song in my head. Twilight saw me bobbing my head in time with the beat.

“What’re you doing?”

“Hmm? Oh... I’ve just had this one song kinda stuck in my head since my break-up...”

“Oh... Can... can I hear it?”

“What? How do you plan to achieve that?”

“You could magically project it...”

“... Oh mah gosh that would be amazing!”

“But you’ll need a horn first...”

“Does that mean?”

“Oh yeah.”

“Aww c’mon Twilight, in the shower?”

“Get in here.”

“... Fine...”

After about ten minutes of cuddling Twilight in the shower, I had flipped her onto her back to clean her stomach and had finally grown a full-sized lavender horn.

“Okay Twilight, how do I play the song?” Twilight pulled her lolling tongue back into her mouth and squinted at my forehead. Her expression changed from happiness to mild disapproval.

“Well... if you remember all of it, just focus on the words as if you could actually hear them. Introduce a little spark of magic, and you’ll be able to sing it yourself! Complete with music. It also works with songs you make up. I’ve used it a few times myself since I moved here.”

“That... That explains so much... and yet so little.”

“What do you mean?”

“Nothing. Song time!” I closed my eyes tightly and focused on the sad song I’d held in my head since that fateful day.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A3Rbtb4dgUY

Sure enough, I opened my mouth as the music flowed forth and music poured out. Lightly and scratchy at first, but in a few moments I clarified the sound. I started to sing as the intro ended. At first I was shocked to hear someone else’s voice coming out of my mouth, but the surprise wore off soon enough. I made sure my thoughts were secure, then turned back to washing Twilight. I couldn’t clean very fast with my focus being on the music, but Twilight didn’t seem to mind.

In the first few verses I had Twilight slowly saying in time with the music. The music even seemed to make her cry a few tears as it continued, but I couldn’t be sure due to the water raining down from the showerhead. By the time that I had cleaned off her lower stomach the song ended. Twilight opened her eyes and looked up at me. Her eyes were red-rimmed and shiny. She had teared up.

“Sharky... This is how you’ve been feeling?”

“... Well... Yeah. Even with love being like that though, I still wish I could have it.”

“Oh Sharky... Love doesn’t have to be like that!”

“Pft... Yeah, ‘cause you’ve had your heart ripped out right before proposing, I forgot.”

“...”

“... I have happier songs too.”

“Yes, I’d like to hear one of those please.”

“Ok... uhhh...”

“Hey!” Rarity yelled from the other side of the door. “Could you please keep that noise down?!” She sounded annoyed. A wicked grin overtook my face.

“Oh hell yes...” I took a deep breath before yelling out the first line of the next song as loud as I could.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6BBIeUWlw6E&feature=related

Twilight didn’t seem to quite understand it at first, but she burst into a fit of giggles when Rarity gave a surprised squeal. I played through the whole song, mentally censoring any bits that might have offended the girls. Twilight giggled at it most of the way, most likely not understanding most of the song.

“Is that a serious song in your world?” Twilight giggled as the song ended. I had finished cleaning her about two minutes into the song, but hadn’t moved.

“You know, with those guys, you can never tell. I think it was mostly just a fun song.” I stood up and stepped out of the tub. I levitated myself a towel, but I misjudged the force and managed to almost rack myself with a well-folded towel. I thanked Luna once more mentally for the armor, and got back to drying myself.

“By the way Sharky, your absorption has become much more powerful.” Twilight noted as she turned off the water.

“Yeah, I’m learning to target and control it. I’m getting a lot better.”

“I think we should schedule another test to see the new extent of your abilities.”

“Good idea Twi, but for now, I’m dead tired. I spent my past few days adventuring through the desert. I’d like to sleep on something that isn’t sand now.”

“Oh, of course! Would you like to come back to the library to use your bed for the night?”

“Hmmm... Why not? A bed sounds delightful. Let’s go.” Twilight and I quickly dried ourselves off before dashing out the bathroom and front doors while throwing mixed goodbyes over our shoulders. I smiled with pride; I’d taught her so well. When we arrived back at the library, I wasted no time in dashing up the stairs to the bedroom. Fang was sleeping on the bottom of my bed and my robin was sleeping perched on the headboard.

“They slept like that every night you were gone.” Twilight informed me. I smiled contentedly at them. How nice for them to do that.

“Well, I guess that means I can’t just lift the bed and take it back to Fluttershy’s house... Could you do me a favor Tw--”

“Sure.”

“... Quick answer. Wake me up early tomorrow so I can go get Unity from ‘Shy’s house please.”

“No problem!”

"Thanks, now just let me take off my crap...” I pulled the weapons that I had grabbed on the way out of Fluttershy’s house off of my back and laid them out on the floor. I gently eased myself into bed and was out before I could even register my eyes closing.

Trust

Hearts and Hooves Day, Thursday, February 14th

”That kiss was everything I wanted it to be...”

Searing pain lanced through my body, violently waking me up. I twitched and spasmed in pain, screams were pulled forcefully from my lungs. I could feel myself break out into a cold sweat as the pain raced through me. I could feel myself falling, but it didn’t matter. All I could do was try not to cry as the unbearable pain ruled my thoughts. In a matter of minutes, the pain finally started to wear off. I sat in a small pool of my own sweat, gasping for breath as if my life depended on it.

“Sharky?! What happened?! Are you alright?” My brain was still fuzzy and slow from the pain. I could barely recognize Twilight. She was by my side, shaking my arm. Her mane was disheveled and unorganized. She must’ve been asleep too.

“Voice...” I muttered. Twilight leaned in close.

“What? What voice?”

“Your voice... said something about a kiss...” Twilight’s eyes flew open in shock.

“What? What’re you talking about?”

“Your voice was in my head... You said something about a kiss...”

“T-that’s pretty silly... Ah ha ha...”

“Twilight... What’s going on?”

“W-what do you m-mean?”

“Something weird is happening, and whatever it is, you’re involved. This isn’t the first time that strange voice thing happened to me. Last time it was my voice. It almost feels like a memory...”

“T-that’s n-not possible...”

“Well, it’s happening.”

“Oh no...”

“Oh no what?”

“ N-nothing...”

“Twilight, what aren’t you telling me?”

“Well... it’s just... I may have used a teensy bit of magic on you... without permission...”

“... You what?”

“... Don’t hate me...”

“Well... I guess there’s no real harm... What magic?”

“A little memory eraser...”

“Memory... You and I were in it... and...” The whole memory suddenly came back to me in a rush. Twilight looked horrified as she sat next to me. I frowned a little.

“...” Twilight could do nothing but wiggle uncomfortably as I stared her down. I could feel the betrayal of my trust in the air. In the end, I didn’t say anything to her. I simply stood up, grabbed my weapons, and walked out of the house.

“I CAN’T FUCKING BELIEVE IT!” I screamed. I was halfway to Fluttershy’s house and had wandered off the path and slightly into the woods. Fang had followed me and my robin was perched on my shoulder uneasily. “What the hell kinda pony does that?!” I swung the Buster Sword at a thin tree. With the flat of the blade. The tree erupted into a shower of splinters.

”Mad, hero?” I jumped at the sound of Ravidos’ voice echoing through the forest.

“Yeah. I am.”

”As well you should be. I saw the whole thing.”

“You did? It’s ridiculous right?!”

”Most definitely. How dare she manipulate your mind like that.”

“I know right?! Ugh!” I swung at another tree, rage flowing through me. This one shattered as well. I sighed ruefully as I realized I didn’t feel any better. “But she just liked me... maybe she was just scared to tell me and she acted out because of that.”

”Does this excuse her actions? Even then she had no right to violate you like that!”

“Yeah, well who are you to judge her? I still don’t even know who you really are! ... And quit calling me hero!”

”Forgive me for not explaing myself sir, my power is low. Manifesting as that light when we last spoke used up most of my energy.”

“Energy? Huh, well I guess I understand. Why are you following me around?”

”Because I believe you would make a suitable champion.”

“Champion? Champion for what?” There was no response. Ravidos was gone again. I sighed. “Well... nothing to do now but get Unity.” I turned back to the path and started back towards Fluttershy’s house.

I decided I had really been justified in my reaction to Twilight’s violation of my mind. I had already put up with that time she invaded my dreams, and this was just too much. Even if it meant that I really was loved, it didn’t excuse her behavior. I let myself into Fluttershy’s house and walked to her room. Fluttershy was still fast asleep.

“Heh, at least I don’t have to worry about stuff like that from you, huh Fluttershy?” I mumbled to her sleeping form. I scooped a still sleeping Unity out of his crib and prepared to leave. I laughed silently as I saw all the animals on the floor nibbling at the peanut butter. “Glad I didn’t have to scrub that clean too.” I briefly contemplated where to head next, but I knew where I had to go. I couldn’t just leave this new issue with Twilight unresolved. I reluctantly turned back to the direction of the library and started walking. Then I quickly turned back and ran into Fluttershy’s house to make a bottle in case Unity woke up soon. Then I was on my way to the library.

“Twilight, we need to talk.” I had left Unity in a pile of cushions downstairs. He was happily suckling away on a bottle and would likely be content for a while. Twilight was laying face down on my bed and didn’t seem to hear me. Her back was shaking irregularly, as if she were coughing. I quietly climbed up to her and leaned over her.

“Stupid, stupid, stupid...” Twilight was sobbing and reprimanding herself quietly. The sight made me feel less angry with her. I gently placed a hand on the middle of her back. She rocketed up into a sitting position, obviously startled by the sudden contact.

“You’re not stupid.” I offered. ”Yeah you are. I didn’t even have to get you in trouble for this, it happened on its own!” Twilight sniffled loudly a few times before she realized who I was.

“S-Sharky!!” She cheered with a sudden burst of happiness. She jumped up and wrapped her hooves around my neck. “I’m s-so sorry! I promise I’ll never do anything like that again! I didn’t want to hurt you! Just please, don’t leave me!”

“... You’re totally ruining any chance I had at being mad at you. Also, I can’t really leave you if we were never together.”

“... *sniffle*.”

“Look Twilight, I suppose I’m not really all that mad. However, you can’t just do crap like that to me! Do you know how much recovering that memory hurt?”

“... I’m sorry...”

“On the same note, why the hell did you delete it anyway? If I liked you back, why would you erase it?”

“... It was the right thing to do...”

“How do you figure?”

“I can’t tell you...”

“So lemme get this straight, you’re going to upset me by hiding my own memories from me, then not tell me why you did it?”

“Please don’t be mad.”

“FUUUUU. Ugh, fine. Don’t tell me.” I sighed and returned Twilight’s hug.

“... I’m so glad you came back...” Twilight nuzzled her head into the crook of my neck. “I thought I’d just gotten rid of you for good...”

“Heh, not that easy. He’s right. I’ve been trying to find a way to get rid of him for awhile now. Still unsuccessful.”

“I r-really do love you Sharky... D... do y-yo--”

“Of course I feel the same. I’ve always loved you.” Twilight pulled her head out from my neck and looked at me with surprise.

“R-really? M-me?”

“Of course Twilight. You’re wonderful.” Twilight lowered her eyelids a little.

“Oh Sharky... Thank Celestia.” Twilight closed her eyes and leaned forward a bit. Her lips were puckered, I guess she wanted a kiss. I instead placed a finger against her lips.

“Unfortunately Twilight, I can’t trust you.” Twilight’s eyes opened quickly and she looked a little panicked.

“What?” Her speech was slightly distorted due to the finger on her mouth.

“I can’t be with you if I can’t trust my own memories around you. I’m sorry, but I’m going to need some time to trust you enough for a relationship.”

“B-but...”

“I’m sorry...” I released Twilight and pulled her off of me. I placed her back down on her bed and left the room. Twilight could only sit in stunned silence until the harsh reality of what happened finally hit her. She ran downstairs after me, tackling me from behind and causing us to roll down to the floor. She was sitting squarely on my chest when we stopped rolling.

“NO!” She screamed. “I worked too long and too hard for you to do that to me!”

“Twilight, I’ve made my decision.”

“Then unmake it! You can trust me, I promise! Please, let me prove myself! I won’t let you just leave like that!”

“Twi, I--”

“Don’t you ‘Twi’ me! I’m not letting you go! Please Sharky! P-plea-a-ase....” Her last plea broke apart as she started to sob. She let her head fall to my chest and sobbed gently.
I reached down and lifted her chin with a finger. I looked into her teary eyes and decided she was right. I had to give her a chance.

“Fine. You can start by telling me why you erased my memory in the first place.” Twilight didn’t even pause to take a breath as she delved right into an explanation of the contest. She explained the rules, the efforts of the other girls, even admitting she had broken the rules more than once already. My jaw almost dislodged itself from my face with how low it dropped.

“That’s why I erased the memory... I knew it was wrong for me to cheat like that...”

“Oh... my.... god. Okay, well at least I know how you can regain my trust.”

“How?!” Twilight jumped eagerly at my offer.

“I want you to erase my memory again.”

“Wha--”

“Then I want you to finish this stupid competition. I can’t freaking believe you all did this. I want you to finish it FAIRLY though.”

“... What if I don’t win?”

“Well... That would be unfortunate...” I muttered hesitantly. Twilight seemed to instantly pick up on the reluctance in my voice.

“I thought you loved me!!”

“I do Twilight, I do. I love all the other girls too though! I’d never be able to pick just one of you, so you all finish this and decide. I wish I could say for sure I’d just like one of you, but that simply isn’t the case.”

“...”

“Now, be sure to use a really strong spell so it doesn’t slip up this time.”

“Okay...”

“Thanks. Now, I’m ready. Let’s get to it.”

“Well...”

“Twilight, don’t even think about backing out now. Just make sure this contest ends today. Got it?”

“Okay Sharky...”

“Good, now fire away!” Twilight seemed hesitant at first, but soon a ball of purple energy started to form on the end of her horn. I closed my eyes and waited until the magic hit me...

Hearts and Hooves Day, Thursday, February 14th

I sat up in my bed and yawned. There was sunlight pouring into my room already.

“That’s odd... I thought Twi was gonna wake me up early today...” I muttered to myself. It looked like it was going to be midday in just a few hours! Then a sudden scent caught my attention. Pancakes? Huh, maybe it hadn’t been as late as I thought if somepony was still making breakfast. The bedroom door opened and Twilight stepped in.

“Good morning Sharky!”

“Morning Twilight. Hey, why didn’t you wake me up this morning?”

“You looked so peaceful in your sleep that I didn’t want to disturb you. Don’t worry, Unity is here already, fed and waiting for you downstairs.”

“Oh... uhh...”

“Also I made some breakfast for you! Pancakes, made from scratch with love!”

“... Okaaaayyy...”

“Well, come on Sharky! You don’t want it to get cold do you?” I climbed out of bed and followed Twilight downstairs. When we got to the kitchen there was a huge stack of pancakes on a plate at the dining table. They were drenched in syrup with a melty pad of butter right in the middle of the top pancake. I couldn’t help but lick my lips a little in anticipation. All I’d eaten for almost a week was dried fruit.

“Wow... Those look delicious...” Twilight gave me a warm smile.

“Well, don’t stand there and look at them! Eat!” She ordered. I didn’t need to be told twice. I crouched down next to the tiny table and grabbed a fork Twilight had provided for me. About 30.8 seconds later, I forced myself to start breathing in between bites. Those pancakes were amazing, but I couldn’t help but wonder why Twilight went through all this trouble for me.

“Hey Twilight, *Om nom nom* What’s the special *Nom* occasion? *Gasp* *Om nom nom nom*”

“Well, I just wanted to give you a happy Hearts and Hooves Day! ... Dear Celestia, you were really hungry huh?”

“*Om* Yes, I *Nom nom* was! *Chomp* Ah crap, empty fork. Well Thanks Twi! *Nomidy noms* I wish I had gotten you something. *Scraaaape* Awww... All gone.”

“... Goodness, that was fast... Anyway, would you mind hanging out with Unity and I before you have to run off to your lunch date?”

“Oh yeah, I have to go to Esmerelda for lunch! Thanks for the reminder Twi, I almost forgot.” I heard angry muttering from Twilight. “What?”

“Nothing, nothing. Well, are you going to answer my question?”

“Oh yeah. Sure, I’d love to spend some time with you guys! Where is the little guy anyway?”

“He’s in the main room, resting in a pile of pillows.”

“Heh, knowing him, I doubt he’s still in pillows.” We walking into the main room, and sure enough, I was wrong. He was still in a pile of pillows. That had come together and looked like a small pillow mech with pillow rocket launchers on the shoulders and pillow arm cannons. Unity was in the pillow cockpit manipulating little pillow controls.

“Pway! Pway!” He shouted gleefully. I smiled with pride.

“His first words!” I cheered. Then one of the arm cannons fired a throw pillow round at me. I was thrown across the room and slammed into the front door. I coughed a little in slight pain. “Sadly, not the first injury he’s given me.

“Sharky! What do we do?!” Twilight yelled fearfully.

“Dude, calm down. He just want to play! I think this is his version of a pillow fight.”

“... What?”

“Yeah, all we gotta do is pillow fight him.”

“WHAT?! In that thing?!”

“Oh, mare up and help me or walk away. You don’t have to play too.” Unity fired another round at me while I was talking, but I dodged to the left and it smacked harmlessly into the wall.

“... I’m going to regret this...” Twilight levitated a few pillows to her sides and took a ready stance. I grinned broadly at her before turning back to Unity.

“Ok son, just remember you asked for this!” I taunted before rushing at his cushiony fighting machine.

--------------------------------------------------------------------**************************-------------------

NEXT CHAPTER. THE COMPETITION ENDS NEXT CHAPTER.

Choice

“Take cover!” I shouted as I ducked behind the overturned table. Pillow missiles hit the area Twilight and I had been standing in just moments before, sending plumes of feathers into the air.

“Help!” Twilight shouted fearfully. I had dodged into cover, but Twilight had rolled right out into open ground. I saw Unity train his dual cannons on her. I darted out of cover rapidly, tackling Twilight and flying out of the way right as a barrage of throw pillows peppered the bookshelves behind us. As Unity’s mech paused for a re-up I pushed Twilight towards the table. She took the hint and ducked behind it fearfully.

“Amateurs...” I muttered to myself. Ok, we should rush him while he’s reloading. The quickest way to eradicate the threat would be to disable the weapons. I’m going for him Twi! Gimme some cover!”

“Y-yes sir!” She shouted nervously. I turned to face Unity right as I heard the *chink* that signified his finished reload.

“Crap, lost my opening.” I groaned. I stood up and charged at him anyway. The throw pillow onslaught immediately started up once more, but a purple barrier flew up in between me and the oncoming cushiony assault. The pillows slammed into the magic barrier with stunning force, quickly scarring the shield with cracks. The twin pillow rocket launchers twisted and focused on Twilight’s table cover as the cannons continued firing right at me.

“Eeep!!” Twilight cried as the table was rocked with pillowy explosions. The field protecting me vanished in the same moment, leaving me vulnerable to the throw pillow rounds being fired at me. I ducked and rolled right before the first pillow smacked into me. Unity’s reaction was faster than I expected though, and I was hit before I could stand back up.

“W-whoa!” I shouted as the rounds pummeled my chest, sending me skidding away from the mech. Twilight and I were both pinned now, me against the floor by pillows slamming into my chest and Twilight behind the table as it was bombarded by pillow missiles. Hope was lost, and defeat seemed to be upon us. Then there was a flicker of movement at the top of the stairs and I couldn’t help but smile.

“Geronimo!” Spike shouted as he leapt off of the stairs and fell onto the cockpit of Unity’s pillow mech. Unity’s sight was suddenly blocked by the little dragon’s body, and his shots began to go wide. I leapt up off the floor as the barrage of throw pillows began to miss, and charged at the mech. I tackled it and forced it to the ground. I had to fight against it’s surprisingly strong frame to force it down, but I did it. Twilight ran over and sealed the weapons with little barriers, causing the shots trying to be fired to build up and jam the weapons.

“Victory!” I shouted victoriously as Spike crawled off of the cockpit. Unity was sitting there, bouncing and giggling. I grinned at him. “Good job kid, you almost beat us!”

“He he! Pway!”

“Speaking of which, what was that Spike?! Jumping off the stairs!?” Twilight reprimanded her assistant.

“Aww c’mon Twilight, lighten up! If it wasn’t for me you would still be behind that table!” Spike retorted light-heartedly.

“Yeah Twilight, lighten up! It was just a bit of fun. When did you even get here Spike?” I laughed as I picked up Unity out of his quickly collapsing mech.

“Well, I was still asleep before I woke up to Twilight squealing. When I came out here I saw that thing and decided to help you guys out!”

“Well thanks Spike, you saved me from being beat by my own son!”

“Heh heh, no problem Sharky! I can’t believe you guys let me sleep until almost lunchtime though.”

“It’s lunchtime!?!?” I shouted and jumped to my feet. I then ran towards the door, throwing it open and running out before anypony could say anything else.

“... Whoa, what was that about?” Spike scratched his head in confusion.

“Ugh, he’s going to visit a friend for lunch...” Twilight sighed angrily. She had hoped to talk to Sharky a bit after they played.

“... Then why’d he take Unity?”

“... Uh oh.”

“Ok son, wanna meet a dragon?” I asked the giggling infant in my arms as I dashed towards the mountain.

“Pway!” He giggled.

“Yes yes, you can play with the dragon.”

“No! Pway wif daddy!” He shouted with a surprisingly well-developed speech skill.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be there too! ... Wow, you’ve developed relatively fast, haven’t you?” I hadn’t really noticed it, but Unity was much bigger than when we had first met. He was much bigger, almost big enough to take up my whole forearm. His wings looked like they’d soon be able to support his weight. Even his horns had grown a little.

“Chirp!” My robin screeched in my ear.

“Gah! What the--” I turned to see my robin perched on my shoulder. “What the... when the heck did you get here?!”

“Cheep cheep.”

“... Don’t do that. If you’re here, Fang’s probably close by too...” I started searching around for my loyal pet, but I couldn’t see him anywhere. Come to think of it, I hadn’t seen him this morning either.

I wonder what Fang does while he’s not with me. Huh, according to what Applejack told me that answer might be Winnona... Oh god why. He’s still just a puppy!! ... Mentally. Maybe I should stop him... Well, I guess I can’t really STOP him. I’ll have to settle for a talk. The talk. I never thought I’d have that talk with a wolf. Least of all before I have it with my son.

Oh yeah, Unity’s growth. My robin had distracted me.

Well, I guess I already knew that ponies develop faster than humans since they’re fully grown at 14. Let’s see... that’s 2/3 of a human male’s development time, so assuming that math applies to all stages of development he... still shouldn’t be able to talk. Least of all talk in sentences. Also shouldn’t he be moving on to semi-solid foods before he can talk? ... Unless drinking the bottle counts... Also, why does he never need diapers? Oh geez, I’m gonna kill myself trying to make sense of this. I’m just gonna-- OH SHIT MOUNTAIN!

I was so absorbed in my own thoughts that I hadn’t even seen the oncoming mountainside. I quickly moved Unity out of harm’s way before lightly bumping into the rocky wall. Luckily I had slowed down a little the moment I realized it was there.

“Ow. Well, we’re here. Now... how the hell was I planning on getting you up the mountain?” I stood and thought for awhile before I had an idea. “Hey, if you can talk, can you crawl?” I placed him on the ground and waited for a moment. As if he had understood my request, Unity pushed up with his little limbs and took a few unsteady lurches forward. Soon he had a rhythm down and was crawling at a decent pace.

“Fun, fun!” He laughed.

“Oh dear god I’ve introduced you to a form of motion that you can achieve yourself... Whyyyyy did I do that?!” I smacked myself in the head. “Ugh, well, I’ll pay for that later I’m sure. For now, another test.” I picked Unity back up and held him up to the side of the mountain. I quickly prepared myself to catch him just in case, then let go. Sure enough he stuck to the mountain and crawled around just as happily as before.

“Yay! Cwal!” He tried to say ‘crawl’ but his speech wasn’t quite advanced enough for it yet. At least I didn’t have to worry about him being too overly advanced.

“Whew, good. Now, can you head that way? I’ll be right behind you. Just in case. Also because I’m going to the same place, but just in case as well.” Unity was gone by the time I said ‘way’. I sighed and started up the mountain right behind him.

Unity got tired about halfway up the mountain and we stopped for him to rest. Admittedly, I had been needing a little break myself. Rock climbing up a mountain with no gear wasn’t easy. He didn’t need long before we could start climbing again, much to my dismay. Soon we were at Esmerelda’s cave and I scooped up Unity from the ledge to carry him in.

“Esmerelda! I’m here for luuuunch!” I shouted into her cave. It smelled vaguely like cooked meat near her den.

“Oh! Sharky! You’re early dear!”

“Oh, I’m sorry! Do you need me to come again later?”

“Oh no, it’s as good a time to come as any I suppose...” Esmerelda giggled a little after she spoke. It was a strange laugh, almost like she thought she had said something wrong. I walked in to see Esmerelda in dragon form standing over a pile of well-cooked meat.

“... What’s that?”

“It’s lunch of course!”

“... Please tell me you didn’t--”

“Of course not! This is a deer from the forest. I swooped down to see if he knew where I could find some wild vegetables for lunch. The poor thing must’ve had a heart attack when he saw me because he dropped dead on the spot.”

“Oh, well that gets rid of a lot of qualms I may have had after eating this.” Esmerelda squinted and stared at me intently.

“What’s that?”

“What’s what?”

“The thing you’re holding.”

“Oh! Esmerelda, meet my son, Unity!”

“You... brought an infant.”

“Yeah! Isn’t he adorable?”

“... *sigh* I suppose I wasn’t really in the mood today anyway...”

“What mood?”

“Nothing, nothing. Let me see the little darling.” I held out Unity towards her as she stretched her neck to get closer to us. She gave him a curious stare for a moment. “He’s... adorable yes.... but... and forgive me for this, what exactly is he?”

“Uh... Part pony, dragon, gryffin, bat, goat... You know what? I’m not so sure what he is exactly either. I think the proper term is draconequus.”

“... How exactly was he bo--”

“Long story involving complicated magic theories and strange circumstances.”

“Right, I suppose I should expect no less from a son of yours. He does look awfully familiar though... almost like I’ve seen something like him before.”

“Don’t think about it too hard.”

“... Ok, I won’t. Can he eat meat? I didn’t really expect to be feeding a little...er one today.”

“No, he’s not quite ready for solid food yet. He is part dragon though, so what do you feed young dragons?”

“Typically we crush a gem and feed them the leftover powder and shards.”

“Well, do you mind?” I gestured towards her pile of gems. She smiled warmly.

“I’d be happy to share! You got them for me after all!” She lumbered over to the pile of gems and searched through it for awhile. She picked out a rather large emerald and crushed it in her talons. She then poured out the dust into a small pile next to the meat. “Ok, come here and eat.” She ordered.

“As you command.” I threw her a mock salute and laughed. Luckily she was my friend, otherwise the order might have upset me. The only pony qualified to order me to do anything was Luna. I sat Unity down in front of the gem dust and took a seat next to him. He fell face-first into the gem dust. For a second I was worried that he had lost his balance and fallen accidentally, but when I lifted his head his jaw was working furiously.

“Ha ha ha! He has quite an appetite, huh?” Esmerelda questioned me with a laugh. I gave her a wolfish grin as I let Unity get back to eating.

“Hand over some of that venison and I’ll show you where he gets it from!”

“Well, did you enjoy it?” Esmerelda asked with anticipation as I choked down the last bit of venison. It was absolutely horrible. It was dry, burnt, unevenly cooked, and not seasoned. I forced myself to smile at her.

“Of course I did! It was great Esmerelda. Dear fucking god that was the worst shit ever.”

“Oh hush Steven. Sharky liked it!”

“Yeah, it was delicious... Well, I tried to stop this oncoming disaster. Just remember that.”

“Hmph, see Steven? Here, have some more Sharky!” Esmerelda pushed another large pile of meat to me. “I’m so glad you liked it! I worked really hard, this is the first time I’ve ever cooked food! Normally I just eat it raw.”

“I would never have guessed.” I grinned at her before forcing myself to eat the next heap of venison. At least Unity was enjoying himself. He was on his third or fourth crushed gem and was loving it. The meal was entirely gross, but I certainly didn't want to hurt Esmerelda's feelings by saying so.

"Don't eat too fast dear, you'll hurt yourself!" Esmerelda warned. I slowed down just a bit to respond and choked on a particularly burnt bit of food.

"Yes ma'am." I then went back to eating just as fast as I had before. Luckily I had learned a trick as a kid to eat nasty food. Just don't breath through your nose and eat fast. You can't taste a thing. I soon finished the second pile and stood up.

"Oh, need more already Sharky?" Esmerelda asked quickly. I jumped in fear and quickly moved to the cave mouth. I looked out and pointed at the sun.

"Oh my gosh, that time already?! Sorry Esmerelda, that sounds delightful but I have to go meet my friends for tea! Time to go Unity!" I ran back to Unity and grabbed him. He whined as I took him away from his gem dust, but that didn't last long. A few sudden *crack*s sounded off from the gem pile. Three figures that looked just like me walked out from behind the pile.

"W-what the..." Esmerelda gasped in shock.

"Yes, master." The three figures shouted at once. I squinted at them to find that they were all golems made out of gems. Unity waved at them.

"Yum!" He squealed in delight. The golems all walked over to us and stood there silently.

"Sharky... what's going on?" Esmerelda asked.

"... Oh yeah, did I not mention that my son is a chaos god incarnate and can manipulate reality to his will? Well, he is. Bye!" I handed Unity to the golems. "Have them follow me son."

"Daddy!"

"Yes, master."

"Dear Celestia that's creepy. At least these aren't trying to kill me. Onward!" With that I vaulted over the edge of the ridge next to Esmerelda's cave and latched onto the mountain below it. I quickly started my climb down with the golems in close pursuit. The carried Unity as if he were a precious treasure. Which, he was. Esmerelda shook her head clear.

"I suppose I really shouldn't be surprised..." She mumbled to herself. She looked down at the pile of meat she had cooked with a smile. She let out a small jet of flame and reduced it to a pile of ash. "Hee hee, I can't believe he pretended to like that. Well, that proves it, he really does like me!" She continued to giggle happily to herself as she curled her body around her eggs.

"Now how in the name of Celestia am I going to keep these things from being seen?" I pondered out loud as I looked at the gem golems. They reflected light of every color and sparkled like gigantic rainbows that moved. "Yeah, there's no fucking way."

"Daddy, you said pway!" Unity reminded me. I groaned.

"C'mon guy! Let me deal with these things first. We have to keep them from being seen!"

"Then no see!" The sun disappeared from the sky, throwing the world into darkness. The moon didn't appear, and there were no stars in the sky. Even the faint light from my axe and the materia in my hand didn't glow.

"Oh dear sweet baby Jesus, change it back, change it back!" The light flooded back into the world just as fast as it had disappeared. "Don't do that!" I shouted. Unity flinched in the arms of the golems and started to tear up.

"Hostility detected, beginning defense protocol."

"Oh shut the fuck up. Don't even! I will crush you all if you try to come at me!"

"Superior power recognized. Begging for life mode engaged."

"That's what I thought! Well... That was much easier to deal with than I thought." The golems had carefully placed Unity on the ground and were now grovelling in front of me. "Look son, I know you were just trying to help, and that's great! You're too strong for your own good though, so I need you to try not to use your power too much."

"N-no pway?" He whimpered.

"No, you can play, just don't do anything super big. That thing you made this morning was ok, but sending the world into darkness is not."

"... Pway?"

"... I'll explain this again when you're older. For now I need to get these golems somewhere safe..."

"Life spared, ceasing begging mode. Imprinting on new master." The golems rose back up and stood next to Unity again. They stared at me for a while and then moved to stand next to me.

"... Right. Well, I suppose we can take them to Fluttershy's house for now."

"Path to Fluttershy's house charted. Beginning travel to designated destination." The golems turned and started walking in the direction of Fluttershy's house.

"Wait! Uhh... Here, take Unity and take very good care of him. I'll be back tonight after I complete my appointments. I expect that house to be clean, the animals fed, and any other chores you can do without damaging something."

"Orders accepted master." One of the golems stepped forward and took Unity carefully. They then walked away with my son.

"... I don't think most parents have magic babysitters made out of gems... or do they? I know they don't on Earth, but here that could actually be a thing..." I shook my head clear of my distracting thoughts and started walking to town.

Looked like it was going to be another average day for me.

All of the girls had gathered at the Boutique. The tea was prepared and already cooling on the table. Small snacks were laid out, and the only thing missing was Sharky. Everypony except RD was staring hopefully at the door. RD was twiddling her hooves nervously as she waited. She had been wanting to say something the whole time, but wasn't quite sure how to tell her friends. Finally she took a deep breath.

"Girls, I'm quitting the competition." She finally announced. Instantly all the eyes in the room locked onto her.

"Y... You're giving up?!" Twilight asked with victory in her voice. RD snorted.

"Hay no. But this contest is ridiculous. Scootaloo gave me some advice--"

"You're taking love advice from your daughter dear?" Rarity questioned with a teasing smile.

"Well, not normally, but she was right. She told me to be honest... I think she's right." The girls were silent for a moment.

"... T-that's actually p-pretty smart..." Fluttershy mumbled. RD nodded.

"That's what I thought too. Look, the fact is that Sharky will never figure it out on his own. I'm just going to tell him the truth about how I feel."

"... M-me too..." Fluttershy agreed. Her friends gave her a look of suprise. The idea of their timid friend confessing love directly seemed outlandish. Then Rarity sighed.

"I must agree. It is the only way to get through that thick skull of his. I practically begged for him in that shower the other day and he didn't notice a thing." Her friends gave her a quizzical stare. "... What? Don't look at me like that! He was just so close to me, and his hands felt amazing... Ehm, it was a moment of weakness."

"... Right. Well... I'm quitting too. You're right, this is the only logical solution to Sharky's thick headedness." Twilight agreed. The girls all let out a long sigh as the sensation of weight lifting off of them took over them.

"Well, I guess technically the competition ended like I promised Sharky..." Twilight thought to herself. Just then there was a loud knocking at the door. All the girls jumped in suprise.

"Poor dear isn't even able to control his strength completely..." Rarity muttered. All the girls ran over to the door and sat down in front of it. Rarity slowly opened the door with magic, revealling their hero.

I stood there in slight suprise to see all the girls lined up in front of the door.

"Uhhh... Hey guys. Ready for tea?" Twilight nodded.

"Yes, we're ready. We have something to tell you first though." The other girls nodded timidly. Twilight gulped and closed her eyes tightly. "We all love you." She stated firmly.

"Well of course, I lo--"

"As m-more than f-friends..." Fluttershy added.

"Well yeah, we're more like best frien--"

"Don't even go there dude. We wanna be your marefriends. Not bestfriends, not friends, we wanna be with you." RD continued.

"Yeah, sure. Let's just get to the--"

"We're quite serious Sharky. We love you, and we're tired of you not noticing it." Rarity cut me off.

"... Are there cameras near here? Hidden somewhere?" I started looking around in confusion. Twilight sighed angrily.

"That... is... IT!" A purple aura enveloped me and pulled me into the house. The door slammed behind me and I was held down against the floor. The girls surrounded me.

"OH SHIT WHERE THE FUCK DID I PUT MY RAPE WHISTLE?! G-girls?!" I stuttered nervously. My brain was failing to find a logical explanation for what was happening. I started absorbing Twilight's magic as fast as I could just in case this was heading somewhere dangerous.

"You aren't going anywhere until you get this!" RD explained.

"We love you!" They shouted together. My brain was now doing flips in my head still working to deny the truth that was evident even to me. My vision went blurry as my mind went into emergency shut down mode. Then I felt something against my lips. I was being kissed. My vision snapped back to normal and my eyes went wide in disbelief. The kiss was ended and RD backed away from my head.

"You getting it now champ?" She smiled at me. The other girls glared at her. "What? Almost everypony here has had a turn but me!"

"What about me dear?! I want a kiss too!" Rarity complained. The other girls grudgingly allowed her to step towards me and lean down to kiss me too. I was confused beyond the point of coherent speech, so stopping her was beyond my capabilities. Rarity's lips made contact with mine. She kissed much differently than the others. Her tounge slid into my mouth and wrapped around mine, pulling it back into her mouth. Then I blacked out.

"Huh uh! No way you're getting to get away from us that easy!" Twilight snorted angrily. My body was soaked and she was holding an empty bucket.

"That's right! You've gotta end this Sharky!" RD stomped righteously.

"W-whaddya mean?"

"She means you need to tell us who you like!" Rarity explained.

"Yes, p-please Sharky... We're tired of waiting..." Fluttershy even had some strength in her voice. They all paused and anxiously waited for my response. With some silence finally available, my mind finally made sense of everything that happened. All of the girls' actions, the showers, the dates, the talks, the very awkward human-ish transformations, everything. As I thought and realized what had happened, I started to become angry. These girls had been taking advantage of my obliviousness almost the whole time I had known them!

"You.... you..." I seethed. They all leaned in eagerly. "Jerks!" I shouted. The all fell back in suprise. "What the heck were you thinking?! You all shoulda freaking told me this more then a month ago!!!" They all lowered their heads in shame. I took a few deep breaths and managed to calm myself down. I looked at them all softly. "You all have been waiting a long time though... I suppose it's time I finally give you guys what you've been wanting..." I slowly gazed over each of them, weighing my feelings for them and thinking about what our lives could be like together.

"... Well?" RD asked after I had thought for a few minutes. I sighed heavily.

"Well, I can't choose. You're all wonderful. I couldn't ever choose one of you. To be entirely honest, I think you should go find somepony else. You know, a pony maybe."

"... Hay no." RD stated firmly. She was clearly leaving no room for argument. "We've waited too bucking long for you to do that! Don't you even dare to try that!" I flinched.

"Worth a shot. Well... I can't choose... I honestly can't. I don't know what any of you would be like as a marefriend. All things considered, I find you all equally appealing."

"Well, that settles it then." Fluttershy spoke up with astonishing strength in her voice. "You have to get to know what we'd be like as marefriends."

Real Drinks

“Care to elaborate on that?” I asked Fluttershy.

“You... uhh... Ehm, you need to let each of us have a turn being your marefriend...”

“... Ha. Good one. I’m not even worth dating one of you girls. Let alone all four.”

“Actually, I rather like her idea.” Rarity piped up.

“No.” I said with determination.

“I like it too! We can each have like a week and you’ll be able to choose after that for sure!” RD exclaimed confidently. She had a look in her eyes as if victory, and I, were already hers.

“Hell no. I refuse.”

“I don’t think you really have a choice here Sharky. We already know you like us too, and we want to do this.” Twilight advanced on me with a grin. I opened my mouth to argue, but I simply grunted and closed it again. Truth was that I really wanted it and my resistance was merely a weak attempt at letting them leave this themselves. I sighed loudly.

“Fine, fine... Who’s first then?”

“Oh, me!” Twilight dashed forward to me. The other girls opened their mouths to argue, but I cut them off.

“Good idea Twi. I live here anyway, so it’d be easy to get your week done first.” I caught some of the other girls glaring daggers at Twilight. “Whoa, whoa. What the hell was that shit?” I seethed. The girls all jumped and seemed very startled by my sudden anger and cussing.

“W-what?” Twilight stammered.

“That glaring. What the hell was that? You’re friends! The best of friends! I won’t stand for you letting me get in the way of your friendship. If that stuff doesn’t stop right away, I’m out of all of this!” The girls seemed to take a few minutes to understand what I had just said. Literally minutes. They sat there with their jaws hanging open trying to understand me.

“O-okay... W-we can do that...” Fluttershy stuttered quietly. At the sound of her voice, the other girls snapped out of their dazes and nodded vigorously.

“Good. Just remember that I won’t allow myself to come in between you girls. If I feel like I’m pulling you apart... I’ll have to leave you all.” The girls were understandably frightened by my threat.

“We understand Sharky...” Twilight muttered. She then turned to the others. “Right girls?” The others all muttered small noises of agreement. I nodded approvingly.

“Good. Now, we’ll start this tomorrow with Twilight. However, before I just hand myself over to you girls for the next four weeks, let’s just have some tea as friends. Then I’m going to go have a nice friendly dinner with my boss. Then I’m coming back to Twilight’s and sleeping over. As a friend. Also, I’ll be finding a new place to stay after these four weeks until this all gets sorted out.”

“What? Why?” Twilight asked with a slight whine in her voice.

“Because it’s not right to live in the same house as somepony you’re romantically interested in until you know you can dedicate yourself to them completely. I’ll be staying with the mare I’m with for the week, but that’s only because I don’t have my own house.”

“Well... that’s cool!” RD exclaimed with a smile. She leaned over and whispered something to the other girls. They all nodded quickly and smiled widely.

“... I will scream if I can’t get the whistle. ... What?” I questioned the girls, indicating the whisper.

“Nothing, nothing dear.” Rarity assured me. “Now come along, the tea will get cold soon.” The girls all trotted away from me. I scratched my head in confusion before deciding I was better off not knowing anyway.

After all, it looked like not knowing things was my specialty.

For the next half hour, the girls were certainly putting on a show for their kindness to each other. They were overly polite, gave way too many compliments, and hugged each other way too much. At least they weren’t fighting or glaring at each other, so I let the theatrics slide. To be honest, I hadn’t really wanted to have that confrontation anyway. It was nice to simply have tea with friends instead of running around to deal with something. I was really learning to appreciate the little down time I had. We all just talked and laughed, occasionally poking fun at each other, like when they asked me if I wanted any tea with my sugar.

“No, as it is I can still see through it almost...” Was my response. It was nice to just talk and know the truth about how these girls felt. My brain still wasn’t quite registering it, but I was sure it’d catch on eventually. In what felt like no time at all though, I was disturbed again.

*HAAAALLELUJAH* I flipped back in my chair at the table in surprise, sending the table up into the air and causing myself to fall backwards. The chair I was in shattered into splinters and the tea flew off of the table and splattered all over the room. The empty cups continued to fly through the air until hitting walls and shattering.

“... Fuck...” I murmured to myself. “That was fucking hilarious!”

*HAAAALLELUJAH*

“I get it!” I yelled at my phone as I pulled it out. “Luna needs to give this thing a damn ringer volume button...” Sure enough, Luna was calling. I hit the answer button right as the girls started recovering from the shock of what had just happened.

“Sharky! W-we hope We didn’t disturb you.” Luna talked quickly with a small stutter. Almost as if she were nervous.

“‘We’ Didn’t disturb anything. Geez Luna, you should know better by now.”

“S-sorry... Of course I meant to say ‘I’. I’m just quite uneasy about tonight’s arrangements...”

“Why would you be nervous?”

“It’s just been so long since anything like this has occurred... Everything had to be perfect! At the same time though, nopony could be wary of my plans, lest our secret be discovered.”

“Okay, well did it work out?”

“I believe so...”

“Then don’t worry! Just teleport me there when it’s time and we can have that dinner.” Luna turned her head a little and gave me a confused squint.

“Tis already time! If anything, I am a bit late...” I returned her confused look and turned to the nearest window. Sure enough, it was already getting pretty dark. I guessed I had been here much longer than I thought.

“Wow, well then I guess I should get over there... You know, after I h--” The flash of black light enveloped me before I could even finish talking.

“--elp clean up.” I finished. I was suddenly standing in the middle of the castle gardens, next to the turtle-shaped rose bush Luna and I always had our lessons at. Next to our bush there was a large cushy blanket spread out on the ground. Luna was sitting on it next to a large wicker picnic basket.

“Clean up? Clean up what?” Luna questioned curiously. I sighed.

“Doesn’t matter now I suppose. Well, how are you Luna?”

“I am well, and thou?”

“Doing better now that I’m with you.” I answered with a smile. At least I knew Luna wasn’t hiding emotions from me because of some stupid contest. Her mouth curled into a small smile and her eyes lowered to the ground. Her face appeared to be slightly red, but that easily could have been the light from the sunset.

“How kind...” She giggled a little. I took a seat on the blanket to her left and leaned on her. She was one of the few things in this world tall enough for me to lean on. Even then, I was slightly taller than her.

“I hope you don’t mind if I sit close. You’re just really soft.” It was true. From the first day I’d met her, when I wrestled her, I had never met another pony with a softer coat. I had been more afraid to approach her before, but now that we were friends I didn’t think she would mind.

“Hee hee, of course I don’t mind.” Luna assured happily. Her head tilted towards me until her chin came to a rest on my shoulder. Her horn rested behind my head and her forehead was pressed against my neck. Strangely enough, even though we were so close, her magic wasn’t hurting me. Now that she was calm it seemed content to swirl around me and not try to force an entry.I could feel it everywhere though, almost like being wrapped in a Luna blanket. Our pose was surprisingly intimate, but she didn’t seem to mind.

“This is a really pretty sunset, huh?” I gestured to the view of in the distance. Far off in the west, there was a bright red light fading from view. There were no clouds to obscure the light, so it radiated out from the horizon. It cast vibrant hues of light wherever it touched, and vastly contrasted with the dark shadows it made when it hit and object it couldn’t pass. It looked like a painting.

“Beautiful. My sister really can make a scene when she wishes.”

“Her work huh? She’s got talent.”

“Well, one acquires a taste for making beauty out of a task when you perform it for thousands of years.”

“Fair point. Well, as pretty as this is, I can’t help but be distracted by thinking about dinner. What are we having?” Luna levitated the lid of the box open without moving her head from my shoulder. The active use of her magic forced some of it to try and flow into me. I flinched, but didn’t complain.

“I had the chefs prepare some light fare for us. I would have had something much more extravagant done, but I’m trying to keep anypony from becoming suspicious. As it were I had to tell them I was particularly famished tonight in order to keep them from thinking somepony would be dining with me.”

“Huh, well good on you for thinking this all through. What does everypony think you’re doing right now?”

“As far as anypony knows, I’m simply enjoying a private picnic in the gardens. There are strict orders for nopony to disturb me, so we have a few hours of time to ourselves.”

“What about your sister? Does she know?”

“Well... she knows I’m having a meal with a knight. I don’t believe she knew who, but she likely does now.”

“What? How would she know?”

“Sharky, you have magic from two other worlds inside you. Raw, unusable magic, but magic nonetheless. Celestia and I could sense you coming from a mile away if needed.”

“Oh... can everypony sense me?”

“Not just anypony. You seem to only have basic planetary magic, so it’s not very noticeable unless you’re as powerful as my sister and I.”

“Good, good. I was worried that freaked out unicorns everywhere I went there for a moment.... Wait, weren’t we talking about food? I got lost.” Luna let out a small laugh.

“Art thou that hungry? Well, here.” Luna levitated a small paper-wrapped bundle to me, causing me to flinch again. My discomfort must have been obvious, because this time Luna noticed it. “Hmm? What ails you?” The bundle fell into my lap and her levitation spell dissipated. I relaxed again.

“Well, as long as we were talking about magic, let me explain. Because of the low magic level of my planet, my body absorbed and currently holds some raw planetary magic from this world. It isn’t capable of doing anything on it’s own, but it mirrors the magic in any organism near me. Your magic is so powerful that it not only tries to copy, but I’m forced to take in more magic. It’s like putting too much air in a balloon. It just hurts a little sometimes.” I finished unwrapping the package to reveal what looked like a few fruits and vegetables. None of which I could identify.

“Oh, I’m so sorry!” Luna slid away from me and walked around to the other side of the blanket. With the sudden loss of her support, I fell sideways and laid down on the blanket. “I never wished to cause you pain! Is this better?”

“It was fine before.” My voice was half-muffled because my head had sunk into the cushiony blanket slightly. “It only hurts when you use magic, and to be honest I’ve felt worse.”

“Oh... then... do you mind if I still cuddle with you?” I was slightly thrown off when she used the word ‘cuddle’; I had thought cuddling would involve a little more contact and feeling. I guess she didn’t think the same.

“That wasn’t even really cuddling... but yeah, come back over.” Luna timidly trotted back to me as I sat up. She sat down again and we leaned on each other, and soon after she nestled head against my neck again. I picked up one of the strange fruit-looking things I had unwrapped. It looked like an apple with a totally rounded top instead of the depression that typically held the stem. It was a black mostly, but it changed to a smoky gray towards the bottom of the fruit. “... What the heck is this?”

“It’s an imported fruit straight from the land of Zebraca. It is called a Moon Tomato.”

“Interesting... I’mma bite it.” I bit into the side of the strange thing, and instantly regretted it. It was hard as a rock. “Ow!” I suddenly started rocking side to side slightly as Luna started laughing.

“Y-you c-can’t eat it yet!” Luna laughed. “T-there’s a reason it’s called the Moon Tomato!”

“You could have said something earlier...” I mumbled. I looked at the tomato curiously, and as the sun went down, the gray at the bottom started to spread towards the top. I set that one down for later and picked up another fruit. This one was a oval shaped red fruit with a pink spiral design wrapped around it from top to bottom. The pink stripe was connected to a thin pink stem the poked out of the top of the fruit.

“Oooh, they gave me a Party Peach! That’s one of my favorite foods! Pull on the stem.” I grabbed the slim pink stem in between two fingers and gave it a gentle tug. With a sound similar to a noise maker, the entire spiral popped off of the fruit and the red peel slid off without it’s support. All that was left was the light red flesh of the fruit.

“Can I bite this one?” Luna nodded and I sank my teeth into the side of it. The fruit had the same texture as a cake, but it tasted like bubble gum. It was really sweet, and actually kind of pleasant to eat. Just that bite made me feel a little like dancing. After realizing it made me feel like dancing, I realized it most likely wasn’t a good idea to eat any more and gave the rest to Luna. She happily accepted it and devoured it down to the small green core in seconds.

“Delicious!” She sighed happily as she tossed the pit to the side. She started to sway against me a little as if moving to an internal beat. I shook my head with a small smile on my face as I reached down for another fruit. Instead, I ended up grabbing a bottle. I lifted it up to see that it was a bottle with a thick bottom and a gradually thinning neck. It was sealed with a cork and the liquid inside was a very dark purple.

“What’s this?” I swirled the bottle around a bit, sloshing the contents. Luna lifted her head slightly off of my neck and peered at it.

“Ah! Tis but a bit of spirits for later in the evening, should you wish to partake.”

“Wine then. Sure, I guess I’ll try some. It’ll be nice to try some alcohol... Well, I guess I already have... Wait, can this actually get me drunk? Normal pony alcohol can’t.”

“Well, I have a very similar problem, so this particular type of wine is made for my sister and I. I believe it will work on you as well.”

“Sweet. I’ve always wondered what being drunk was like, but never wanted to drink back on my old world. I think it could be fun though.”

“It can be quite enjoyable... during it. The hangovers are not particularly fun.”

“That’s future Sharky’s problem.” Luna smiled at me.

“Then I suppose it’s a good thing I brought two bottles!” Luna levitated a second bottle out of the basket. I did my best not to flinch this time. I managed to force a grin through the pain as she popped the cork out of the bottle and levitated two glasses out of the basket. I could feel a small trickle of blood run down my forehead as a small horn started actually forcing itself out of my head rather than growing normally. I quickly wiped it away to keep Luna from noticing.

“That’s great Luna! ... Please stop levitating them...” Luna’s aura suddenly vanished from the cups while they were still in mid air. I managed to catch one and the other fell to the blanket harmlessly. The bottle she kept levitating until she set it down gently on the blanket.

“Sorry! Sorry! I had forgotten for a moment...”

“It’s fine. Well, let’s see what this drunk fun everyone always seems to have is about.” I lifted the bottle and filled both of the cups. Luna levitated one with a nervous glance at me. I didn’t react this time. “How’s about a toast before I take my first drink of real alcohol?”

“Good idea!”

“Hmm... To good times and great company.” I offered as I raised my glass toward Luna. She smiled as she tapped her glass against mine.

“I could not have put it better myself.” We both put the glasses up to our lips and threw our heads back. At first, the taste was strong and I didn’t like it at all. As I drank though, it started to taste better. It also started to get warmer outside for some reason. Which was odd since it was turning into night and should have been getting colder. Around my fifth or sixth glass, Luna started getting softer and much more... touchy. She had reached on foreleg around my waist in a sort of half hug.

“You know, it has been quite some time since I have drank...” Luna mused slowly. Her words weren’t slurred, but she was talking a bit slow. “You know... earlier you said this wasn’t even really cuddling... Could you show me what’s real cuddling?”

“Uhh...” I knew there must’ve been something odd about her request, but for some strange reason I couldn’t think of it. I shrugged and decided it couldn’t have been a big deal if I couldn’t remember it. I downed the rest of my glass and set it down on the blanket.

“Well, real cuddling is much more cuddly... er.” I struggled to explain. I knew the right words for it, but they wouldn’t come to my brain. “I’ll just show ya.” I edged slightly away from Luna before turning her so that we faced each other. Her eyes sparkled a lot. I could see the reflection of a shooting star pass in her eyes. It was very... pretty. I mustered up a bit of strength and lifted her slightly off the ground. She gasped.

“O-oh my...” She giggled. I sat her down in the middle of my lap, making her much taller than me. Her hindlegs were each on one of my hips. She was kind of heavy on my legs, but it didn’t matter and I couldn’t really feel it anyway. I wrapped my arms around her middle and leaned my head into her chest. She draped her forelegs on my shoulders and placed her cheek on the top of my head.

“This was one of my favorite cuddles...” I explained. “Nice and close...”

“This is rather enjoyable...” Luna agreed. I could hear some liquid pouring nearby and Luna soon levitated me another glass. “Here, have another drink... It’d be a shame if I had to waste this...”

“Yes, quite a shame.” I agreed as I took another swig of wine. It looked like it was going to be a pretty good night.

Nightmares

“Thish ish nice...” I slurred as I drank my.... gah, fuck the numbers. Lots of wine. Luna was keeping even with me, but I was too dulled to tell if she was as drunk as I was. I decided being drunk was rather enjoyable. Everything was funny and pretty. Especially Luna.

“Yesh, We musht agree... You’re the besht Sharky...” Luna rubbed her face on the top of my head soothingly. “I’m sho glad you came inta my life.”

“Aww, it’s no big *hic* deal...”

“No no, it really ish. I was sho alone Sharky... For a thousand yearsh We were awl alone...”

“I’m sorry Luna...”

“Even before that. Nopony loved the night... We never had any friendsh.” I could feel a tear drop onto my head. I was quiet for a moment and Luna continued talking. “Yer one of the few ponies that likesh me fer me.” Luna lifted her head off of mine and looked down at me. “You do like me for me don’t ya?”

“Of courshe I do!”

“... What if we weren’t a princess? Would you shtill love us?”

“Heh heh, I don’t give a flying fuck about statuses.”

“How about if I was poor?”

“I never even use money here! I’d still love ya.”

“Ugly?”

“Have you seen me?” I joked. Luna giggled a little.

“What if... What if I was... a Nightmare?” I frowned a little.

“Whaddya mean?”

“We... We’ve done terrible things Sharky...” Luna muttered. She scooted off of my lap and sat with her back to me. “I was a terrible thing. Shomething nopony could ever be ok with.”

“Luna, that was a long time ago.”

“I tried to kill my shister...” She sobbed. Her body started to rock with sobs. “It was horrible Sharky... I was a monshter...”

“Luna... You aren’t like that anymore...”

“I am! She’s shtill inside me Sharky...” Luna cried. She collapsed to the blanket and cried openly. “I don’t want her anymore! I’m shtill a monster!” She wailed. The sight broke my heart, and if I could think straight I might have been more concerned about the Nightmare. I stumbled over to her and laid down on top of her. I reached my arms around her neck and hugged her. I leaned my head down to her ears and whispered to her.

“Luna, you’re no monster.” I consoled. I struggled for a while to think of some good words to make her feel better. Then it came to me. “I’ll tell you what, we’ll beat her together!” Luna’s sobs slowed down a little and she sniffled.

“W-what doth thou mean?”

“Well, Ah’m a monshter hunter, right? I’ll help you with the Nightmare. I’m shure we can get ‘er together!”

“Y-you want to help? You aren’t shcared of her?”

“Heck no! I’mma fuckin’ bossh! I’d beat her fer sure, and you can too!” Luna giggled a bit at my drunken confidence. “Point is Luna, I’m here for you, no matter what.” Luna started to tear up again. I put on a big frown and tried to understand why she was sad. Then she rolled around and I was under her. She dropped down so that she was laying on top of me and hugged me tightly.

“You really do love me...” She sobbed. “Oh thankyou thankyou thankyou! I know I’ll be fine with you by my side!” She gave me a big kiss on the cheek. I hardly noticed. “You are the best ever!” She gave me another kiss. Then another. Then another. Then she was actually kissing me on the lips. I blinked a few times as I tried to figure out how she had gotten her lips to my mouth. Hadn’t they just been on my cheek? Why was she rubbing herself against me? Wait, when did she start rubbing against me? Why did I like it so much?

“L-Luna?” I tried to ask, but my voice was entirely muffled by her mouth. I don’t know what she thought I was doing, but she seemed encouraged by my muffled voice and drove the kiss further. She tried to coax my tongue to tangle with hers, but I put my hands on her chest and pushed. She was lifted away from me, but her mouth kept trying to kiss me.

“W-wha?” She asked after her mouth stopped trying to find mine. She blinked her eyes open and I saw some confusion in them.

“Luna you’re drunk.” She smiled at me.

“Hee hee, lucky you!” She pushed back down on me and tried to lay on me again. I managed to keep her supported in mid air.

“N-no Luna! Thish is bad!”

“Oh, how can it be bad?” She giggled. I struggled to remember why it was bad. The answer was in my head, but it refused to come to me.

“It... it just ish!”

“Oh, I get it!” Luna crawled off of me. I sat up and breathed a sigh of relief. Judging by the heat coming from my groin I wouldn’t have been able to resist much longer. Luna was still grinning at me lustily when I stood up. I frowned and started backing away.

“... Sho... I’m gonna go now...” I said warily. Luna nodded off behind me.

“Go then.” She giggled. “I like a little ‘hard to get’ myself. Let’s hope you run faaast!” Luna sang the last word a little.

“N-no, that’s not what I--”

“5... 4...”

“Shit. HA! Dis gon be good!” I turned around and took off running. I stumbled much more than I should’ve, but I managed to stay upright. I didn’t have the slightest clue where I was going. Bushes and flowers blurred as I ran by, becoming entirely unrecognizable and creating confusing colors and patterns.

“Here I cooooooome!” Luna sang from somewhere behind me. I picked up my pace and didn’t bother to look back. I didn’t hear hoofbeats or anything behind me at first, but I decided running was still a good idea. I ran into a huge collection of hedges and stopped for a moment. I was somewhere in the hedge maze. I ended up here surprisingly often now that I thought about it. I jumped into the wall of the hedge maze and stood completely still. I heard rushed hoofsteps fly right by me right afterward.

“... Ok, coast should be clear...” I poked my head out of the hedge and came face-to-face with Luna.

“Boo!”

“Shitshitshit!!!” I backpedalled through the hedge and took off running down the maze again. I was already unsteady, so it wasn’t long before I kicked a root and fell to the ground. I slid a little and tried to leap back to my feet. A hoof thudding into the middle of my back stopped me cold.

“I win!” Luna cheered. I tried to scramble out from under her, but I couldn’t muster the strength in my drunken state.

“N-no! Luna, pleash!” I slurred. She laughed louder.

“You can give up the game! I hath beshted you!” Luna teased. “Now I get to take what’s mine!” I was wrapped in an aura and Luna removed her hoof. She started slowly trotting back to the blanket with me in tow. I was too drunk to feel the pain from her magic rushing into me, but unfortunately I was also too drunk to use her magic.

“Luna no! I don’t wanna do thish!” Luna stopped for a moment.

“You can shtop now Sharky! Let’s just go have our fun!”

“I don’t want to! Let me go Luna!” Luna started to falter.

“W-what doth thou mean?”

“You heard me! I don’t wanna do this! He’s lying! Bone him now!” Luna’s frown deepened and she looked a little hurt.

“Steven says you’re lying... Why do you pretend shtill?”

“I’m not pretending! Please Luna, don’t do this to me!”

“W-why? I thought you loved me...” I faltered for a moment. I did love her right? Why was I fighting again?

“I-I do... but... I think thish ish bad...”

“H-how could it be bad? We love each other, yesh?”

“I... yesh...” There was something in the back of my head still trying to tell me I needed to fight, but it was getting quieter and quieter as time passed.

“Then why do you resist?” I couldn’t find the answer. I was tired of not being able to find answers and decided being drunk sucked. I decided to ask a question for a change.

“Well... why do you wanna do thish? I don’t understand...”

“Sharky, you make me feel good.” Luna answered. We arrived at the blanket and she set me down. I collapsed to my knees. “You make me feel shafe, shtrong... happy. I feel not alone anymore. I wanna make you feel good too!” She explained, and dammit it seemed like a pretty solid answer.

“Oh.” All of my mental debating skills left were put into that rebuttal. Luna grinned at me again. "N-no Luna, thish shtill isn't right! Ah love you, but I didn't realize you wanted thish kinda love!"

“Stop fighting my love...” She ordered. A black wind swirled around me for a moment, and that little voice telling me to fight went away completely. It was replaced with a voice that made me see how pretty Luna looked tonight. How much I liked her, but different than the friendly way I usually thought of her. The new voice made me want to hold her, touch her, do things that I had never even considered before. It truly frightened me that I was suddenly willing to abandon all my morals and have premarital sex. WITH THE PRINCESS!! I had to think of a way to stop this, I didn't want to ruin her honor just because she was drunk and made a bad decision

“Y-yesh Luna...” I felt myself whisper as she leaned down to kiss me again. In the second before she kissed me, I felt my body try to collapse from the sheer amount of magic I had forgotten Luna was forcing into me. In a last ditch effort, I looked around for a method of escape. “Moon Tomato...” I mumbled to myself. I threw the last bit of strength I had into directing my fall towards the half black fruit. I hit it and a pain lanced through my skull, but to no avail. I was still awake. I rolled onto my back, all resistance gone. Luckily, Luna saw my head. The horn was splitting my forehead open, and the blow from the Moon Tomato was all it needed to start bleeding profusely. "FUCK! Jig's up."

"Oh dear, are you ok?!" Luna squealed in shock. I shook my head and blood ran down the sides of my face in little rivers.

"To be honest, this is a bit of a firsht for me." I whimpered. The pain was now breaking through the dullness from the alcohol. Luna lfted my head and cradled it in one of her forelegs.

"Oh... dammit me! Why didn't I see this?!" Luna cursed herself. I patted her cheek and looked into her eyes.

"Hey, it's fine. You didn't know, an' I didn't tell ya. Besides, thish ish minor. I'mma just need a lil rest..." Luna nodded quickly.

"Of course, of course. Besides, somepony might be coming along soon anyway... We'll consider this a blessing in disguise.

"Cuz I feel blessed right now."

"... Shorry..."

"Heh heh, as far as I'm concerned, what doesn't kill me makes me stronger... Just... send me home, I'll talk to you soon." Luna frowned slightly, but she didn't look like she was going to argue. She gave me another quick peck on the cheek and smiled. "Sorry I went an got hurt..." Luna let out a light chuckle.

"For the first time in awhile Sharky, thish wasn't really your fault!" A flash of black light enveloped me and I disappeared. Luna sat there, momentarily hating herself for hurting Sharky so much. Then she reflected over what she had done over the course of the night. She face-hoofed and groaned. "Oh my... I can't believe I almosht did that! This was out firsht real date, and he tried to shay no!" Not only had she hurt him, but she had lost all control of herself and nearly... "Raped him..." Luna admitted out loud. That was what it would have been after all. She had abused the very oath she had instilled in him to protect herself from him should he turn on her. She decided she had to make it up to him. Preferrably in a non-amorous situation to avoid repeating her previous behavior.

"Restless night, sister?" Came Celestia's voice from behind her. Luna leapt to her hooves in suprise.

"Oh! 'Tia! W-what art thou doing here?" Luna's suprise managed to overcome the slur in her voice.

"Just visiting my sister, is that so wrong?"

"No..."

"Good! Then perhaps you could tell me who else was visitng you tonight?"

"Hmph. Don't even shtart that game Celeshtia. I know you know who it was."

"Drinking too? Well, I hope you're pleased with yourself."

"I'm not, if you musht know!"

"Good! Playing around with the knights like that. You're going to hurt his heart. Besides, he already has others after him. MORTAL others."

"It's not like that! There was no 'playing around'. As much as I might have tried..."

"What do you mean tried?"

"He forced me away... and now that I think about it... I belive he injured himshelf on purpose to preserve my honor..." Celestia's expression changed to one of mild disbelief.

"Forced you away? Impossible, no mortal has ever turned you down on such an offer."

"He's different from those others!"

"Really? He's no different from any other stallion you have for a night to sate your desires. Don't try to tell me different." Celestia sighed and sat down next to her sister. Luna hesitated for a moment, but sat down as well. "Look, I know what it's like to wish for love from... well anypony really. However,the simple fact is, nopony truly loves us. They only respect us."

"No, that's not right! He loves me back, he said so!"

"Ponies say things they don't mean all the time."

"What about your beloved student?" Luna countered. Celestia faltered.

"... That's different, it's a non-romantic love. Sharky on the other hoof was likely just telling you what you wanted to hear in order to get what he wanted."

"That logic would be sound if he wanted anything!" Luna's quickly growing anger gave her a brief relief from her foggy mind.

"Well, he may have rebelled against rutting, but maybe he wants money. Power. Possibly just bragging rights."

"Celestia, he has no use for money! He gets plenty of free favors simply for being a hero. He's more powerful than almost anypony we know. He wouldn't need to be with me to have power. He also isn't a braggart. His opinion of himself is so low that the first time I ever heard any kind of self-respect from him was tonight."

"Luna, even so... Look, I just don't want you to get your heart broken... I'll grant you that he does appear to be a fine stallion, but even he is mortal. You can love him all you wish, but he will still die one day. I don't want you to have to endure that pain." Luna opened her mouth to respond, but closed it again. She knew her sister was right. Then she remembered some of Sharky's words from earlier.

"As far as I'm concerned, what doesn't kill me makes me stronger." She quoted. Luna stood and walked away from her sister, leaving her to contemplate her words. Celestia sighed, she already had a response. She whispered it to nopony as her sister walked away.

"Unless it cripples you sister..."

"Hiya Twi!" I shouted a little as I appeared in her bedroom. Twilight leapt about three feet off of her bed, she had been reading.

"S-sharky! Don't scare me like that!"

"I'mma shorry..." I stumbled over to her and peered at the book. She whipped it away and shoved it under her pillow. "Whatcha reading?"

"Are you... drunk?"

"I think sho... Is the room spinning?"

"No..."

"Then yeah, I'm drunk." Twilight levitated me over to my bed and tucked me in.

"Get some sleep... and don't expect me to miss any of my time tomorrow because you were up so late."

"Wouldn't dream of it... thish bed is fuckin soft." Twilight shook her head at me.

"Well, at least you had fun. I guess I should be happy for that. Wait, wh-- Why is your head bleeding so much?!" Twilight shreiked as she saw the streams of blood falling onto my pillow.

"I had ta hurt myself to keep from gettin sexed up by Luna..." I mumbled as I fell asleep.

"... WHAT?!?!"

Tell Me

Friday, February 15th

I slowly blinked my eyes open the next morning. It was still only slightly light outside. I had woken up really early. I braced myself for one of the legendary headaches I’d heard about, but nothing happened. I kept waiting, determined not to be surprised by the sudden pain I knew was coming. It never showed up. I was puzzled for a moment, until I remembered how Twilight had walked downstairs totally hangover free after the New Year’s party. I did however feel a little pressure on my chest. Without even looking up, I knew Twilight was laying on me

“You awake?” I asked quietly. She didn’t respond. I inhaled peacefully. Then there was knocking at the front door. ”Who the fuck would be here this early?” I gently eased Twilight’s sleeping form off of my chest and placed her on my bed. She whined a little in her sleep, but didn’t wake up. I started walking to the door, but then I realized something. Due to the amount of alcohol I had consumed, I REALLY had to pee. I darted into the bathroom and rushed to finish as fast as I could. There were louder knocks coming from the door now, whoever was waiting wasn’t very patient. I finished using the bathroom, flushed, then sprinted downstairs and threw the door open.

“Hiya Sharky! You ready for our day?” RD asked with a huge smile. I frowned at her.

“I’m dating Twi this week...”

“Yeah, but ya promised to spend the whole day with me today! Remember?” RD’s devilish smile grew.

“... That’s a rotten trick... I approve of your intelligent move. Twilight’s gonna kill me though...”

“Ooh, yeah. Forgot about that... Well, I’m sure you can handle her!”

“Great... come with me...”

“I’d rather not.”

“Yeah, well this is your fault, so get your flank in here.” RD grudgingly stepped into the library. I scooped her up and carried her upstairs. More to keep her from running away than to make her happy, but she seemed to enjoy being carried. We got to Twilight in just seconds, and I shook her gently. She slowly woke up and frowned at me.

“You. What did you mean?” Twilight asked. I gave her a blank stare.

“Mean when what?”

“Last night. You said you hurt yourself to avoid being sexed up by Luna.” I thought back for a moment and realized with a small shock that I remembered everything that had happened last night. I guess a lot of drunk rules didn’t apply when you had pony magic.

“LUNA WHAT?!” RD shrieked.

“Oh yeah, that. Luna was really drunk and tried to rape me. Then she tried to use the oath to make me have sex with her, but I smacked my head against a Moon Tomato and started bleeding a lot. She snapped out of it, apologized a lot, then sent me back. End of story.”

“She only did it because she was drunk?” Twilight asked.

“Yeah.”

“... Then whatever. If she was just really drunk than I can excuse it. It’s not like she’s trying to steal you away.” Twilight rolled off the bed and stretched languidly.

“What?! No you can’t! What she did was messed up!” RD screeched.

“Look, I’m mad too, but it’s not like there’s anything we can do. She was drunk, and it already happened. She’s probably gonna hide in her room for a month from pure embarrassment.”

“I don’t care! She can’t just do something like that and get away with it!”

“Well, how do you plan on keeping the past from happening?” I interrupted. RD opened and closed her mouth angrily a few times, but gave up and grumbled to herself moodily. “By the way, very nice way to handle it Twi. I’m glad you didn’t freak out.”

“I’m very good at not freaking out. A nice quality in a marefriend, right?” I rolled my eyes.

“Yes, fair enough. Good job Twilight.” She smiled at me and nodded happily. RD facehoofed as if upset that she hadn’t thought of not freaking out first.

“Thank you! Now, I’ve got our whole day planned...” Twilight levitated a rather large stack of cards from next to her bed. She started flipping through them. “Ok, first we’re gonna--”

“Actually Twilight, I’ve got a small problem.” Twilight lowered the cards and already had a frown on her face.

“No! No problems! I didn’t make room in the schedule for any problems!”

“Well, unfortunately I have one. You see, before you girls went all truth happy and decided to split me four ways for a few weeks, I made a promise to spend today with RD.”

“But it’s my week! She can’t do that! Just change the day to one in her week!”

“He can’t! I made him Pinkie Promise for today!” RD grinned triumphantly. Twilight’s eyebrow twitched a few times.

“Of course!” Twilight’s face was rapidly overtaken by a huge, overly fake smile. “It’s good for a coltfriend to hang out with his friends every once in awhile! I, being a good marefriend, won’t have a problem with it!”

“... You sure?” I asked timidly. Her eyebrow was still twitching. She nodded quickly with a crazy forced smile. I decided to run away while I still could. “Well, good on ya for being so calm. RD, let’s run.” I took off as fast as I could out of the bedroom. The sound of grinding teeth helping to spur me on. I didn’t stop running until I was in the town square.

“Whoa, what are you running from dude?” RD asked from my arms.

“Pure rage RD, pure rage.” I quoted. RD gave me a confused look.

“Whaddya mean? She said she wasn’t gonna be mad.”

“She is a dirty liar. I’m slightly afraid to go to sleep tonight.”

“You could always sleep at my house...”

“Nice try, but we’re spending the day together as friends! Technically Twilight is my marefriend right now.”

“Well, friends have sleepovers. Besides, you promised me the WHOLE day. You should be happy I decided not to come by and toss you out of bed!”

“If you could even move me...” I mumbled quietly. RD didn’t hear me. I looked around a little to see where we were more specifically. It looked like we were in the middle of the market. I saw large groups of ponies staring at me. I suddenly realized that only two months ago, those stares had been ones of fear and curiosity. Now they were admiration and appreciation. It reminded me again of how I didn’t really deserve it. I thought back to the body of that stallion that had sacrificed himself for his son back in Stalliongrad. He was a hero. RD seemed to sense my sudden sadness.

“Hey, what’s up?” She asked with concern. I shook my head.

“Nothing, nothing. So, what do you wanna do today?”

“Well, Gilda wants to see you soon, but that’s pretty much the only thing we need to do. After that we just wander around and hang out I guess.”

“I’m ok with wandering. It’s better than you trying to plan something romantic on Twilight’s day.”

“... Yeah, totally didn’t.”

“... I will leave.”

“No you won’t! You Pinkie Promised!” Pinkie Pie popped up from behind a nearby stall and gave me an evil stare. I sighed heavily.

“Fine. Doesn’t mean I have to be happy about it though. Now, where’s Gilda?”

“She’s waiting at my house. We’ll have to be close for a little while in order to get there...”

“Fuck.”

“Not yeeeet...” RD whispered.

“... What?”

“Nothing! Anyway, let’s look around since we’re at the market. I might wanna buy something.”

“Okay, if you insist.” I started to lower her to the ground.

“Hey hey! I didn’t say I wanted you to stop carrying me!” With that, I let my arms drop to the side and she fell to the ground roughly. She was only a foot off the ground at the time, but her surprised expression was pretty funny.

“Not your day buddy, you can walk.” RD snorted and flapped herself up off the ground and hovered by my shoulder. “Or fly, I guess.”

“Ya know, you aren’t very nice today.”

“Neither was you stealing Twilight’s day! Now, let’s see what we can find here...” I started to look around the stands as I reached a hand down to my side to reach for my coin pouch. “Wait a minute... I didn’t grab any mo--” My hand made contact with a pouch. I curiously untied it from my hip and lifted it up. It looked ready to burst and there was a small note attached to the tie strings.

Dear Sharky,

Here is 1/26 of the pay from your last mission. I’m hoping to get this to you while you’re distracted, because I know you’ll fight it if I don’t.

With love,

Luna

“That sneaky little punk. I will get her for that later.”

“What happened?” RD asked curiously. I crumpled up the note and threw it away.

“Luna snuck more money into my pouch while I was drunk...” I grumbled unhappily. RD’s frowned in confusion.

“Sooo... getting money is a bad thing?”

“Yes.”

“But w--”

“Don’t ask, just accept the fact that I don’t like it.”

“Okaaayyy... Well, there’s always been this one thing I wanted...” RD darted over to one of the nearby stands. It was labelled ‘Jock’s Sporting Goods’. RD was holding and carefully examining a folded white thing.

“Hey lady, hooves off the merchandise!” A gruff voice shouted suddenly. A moderately large blue unicorn with a striped green and peach mane emerged from the behind the counter. He changed his attitude when he saw RD. “Oh, hi Ms. Dash. How ya doin’?” I saw his cutie mark as he walked around the counter to stand in front of RD. It was a collection of assorted sports balls. He also had some strange sort of apron thing on his back that had a pocket on each of his sides.

“Doin’ good Jock, a little angry today?”

“Don’t even get me started. Some little colt ruined a perfectly good tennis racket earlier today. It was a real nice one too...”

“Well, did he pay for it?”

“Nah, he was a poor little guy. I didn’t have it in ma heart to even yell at the kid.”

“Well, how much was it?” I walked up to the stand and he turned to me.

“Hey, do ya mind? We w-- Dear Celestia! It’s him!” Jock shouted. “W-welcome to my shop Mr. Hero! Did ya need something?!”

“Dear god, calm down bro. I’m just a normal... stallion as far as anypony should be concerned.”

“Normal stallion my flank! You’re not even a pony! You’re the Hero! What’re you doin’ here at my humble little shop?”

“Well, I’m taking my friend here shopping. So, how much did that racket cost?” Jock whipped back around to RD.

“Dash?! You know this guy and you never told me?!”

“Cuz I knew you’d freak out! Not cool dude.” RD replied with an eyeroll. Jock took a few deep breaths before turning back to me.

“... Racket?” I asked hesitantly.

“Oh, that. It’s not that important. What were you looking for today sir?”

“Well, I was looking to pay for that racket.”

“Oh no, I can’t let you do that sir. WHAT’S YOUR SECRET TO THOSE MUSCLES?!” Jock clapped a hoof over his mouth. I resisted a large urge to facepalm.

“Look, I insist on paying for the racket... And my secret is magic enhancements from another world. It allows me to build muscle faster than normally possible and increases all of my physical capabilities.” Jock frowned.

“Darn, I was hoping I could be like you... Well... The racket was pretty expensive... about 1299 bits...”

“Sa-weet. Here ya go.” I opened the pouch and counted out 13 gold bits. I held them out to him with a smile. He looked unsure for a moment, but grabbed the coins anyway.

“... Thanks... I’m gonna feel guilty for a month, but at least my income won’t suffer. Now, is that it?”

“For me? Yeah, I think so.”

“Well... if that’s it... CAN I GET AN AUTOGRAPH?!” He blurted out again.

“Dammit, STFU bitch! ... Sure...” He whipped a paper and pen out of a pouch on his side. I took them and used his stand as support while I signed it. I handed it back to him and he bounced happily.

“Yes! This is awesome! Ehm... anything else sir?”

“Nope...” With obvious effort, he turned back to RD.

“Now, what did you want Dash?”

“I’m here to get the training parachute I’ve been wanting!”

“That thing? Dash, you and I both know you don’t save up money, and you’d need to to afford that thing.”

“That’s why I’m here to buy it.” I interrupted again.

“YOU’RE AN AMAZING FRIEND!” This time RD shoved a hoof in his mouth.

“Quit bein’ so lame Jock! Just tell him how much it costs.” She removed her hoof and Jock slowly turned back to me.

“Wait!” I shouted quickly. I looked at RD. “I’ll buy it, but I need you to say something.”

“What?” RD asked, suddenly looking uneasy.

“I need you to say ‘I’m rainbowlicious’.”

“... What?”

“You heard me!”

“No way dude! That’s lame!”

“Do you want the parachute?”

“... Yes...”

“Then say it.”

“... Fine...” RD mumbled something quietly.

“Huh uh, you have to shout it and be happy about it.”

“What?!”

“Do it!”

“Grrrrr.... FINE! I’m rainbowlicious!” She cried. She then sat down huffily and crossed her forelegs across her chest.

“Ehm... anyway... The parachute is a high-quality training instrument utilized by even the Wonderbolts. It has adjustable flaps to increase or decrease drag and has a non-tearing guarantee. It costs 9999 bits... unless that’s too expensive, I suppose I could give y--”

“Shaddup and let me count my money bitch!” Jock shut his mouth quickly and I started counting out bits. 100 gold bits and a long time later, I handed him the money and placed my now mostly empty coin pouch back on my hip. RD leaped up and hugged her new parachute to her chest as she squealed happily.

“Oh thank you Sharky! Now I can be even faster!” She cheered. Jock snorted.

“I’m not the only one that squeals...” He muttered. I quickly picked RD back up and stepped away from the stand as fast as I could. I jogged a little, as if we had somewhere to go. As soon as the stand was out of sight, I stopped and set RD back down.

“Thanks again Sharky! This is awesome!” She cheered again, totally ignoring the fact that I had just ran from the shop.

“Yeah, it was freaking worth it too.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re rainbowlicious.”

“... Shut up.”

“Hey, what’s this stand?” I looked to another little stand that read ‘Self-preservation Tools’. I walked over to it and looked down at the wares. There was pepper spray, a few little weapons, and rape whistles. I bought three rape whistles with string around them to make them necklaces and placed them all around my neck. The shopkeeper was giving me a strange stare the whole time, but he accepted my money anyway. They were only 10 bits each, so I got 7 silver bits back from the one gold bit I gave him.

“... Why did you buy a rape whistle?” RD asked with obvious curiosity.

“Because I need it!”

“... Ok, then why buy three?”

“Because sometimes one just isn’t enough for the severity of the oncoming rape. Trust me, he needs these.”

“Okay... Well, I wanna go try out my new toy, let’s got to the racetrack!” RD flew up and started slowly in the direction of the track, obviously intending for me to follow her. I jumped up and grabbed her out of the air. “W-whoa!”

“I have to copy your magic so we can visit your house after this, remember?”

“H-how... jump... Sharky, how did you do that?!”

“I... jumped.”

“I was like 20 feet in the air!”

“I know.”

“You never did anything like that!”

“Yeah, the magic from the planet I went to for that week lets me do that. Onward to the track!”

“... Awesome.” RD wiggled around a little bit to settle into my arms. I kept walking and she directed me towards the track. In a few minutes, we were there. I could feel a pair of fully-developed wings on my back already, but I decided to help RD try out her new parachute before I told her. We unfolded the little white cloth to reveal a large white circle about 20 feet in diameter. It fucking dwarfed RD.

“Holy crap. How do you plan on flying at all with this thing?!” I gasped in disbelief. It didn’t seem possible. RD looked doubtful as well.

“Well, didn’t Jock say there were adjustable flaps or something?”

“Oh right...” A little piece of paper caught my attention. It was laying in the opened parachute. I picked it up. “Good! The instructions!” I unfolded them to reveal a bunch of little diagrams. RD peered at the paper over my shoulder.

“Whoa!! We’ll never figure all that out!” I quickly turned so RD didn’t notice my wings and backed up to the middle of the parachute.

“Actually it’s pretty easy. Come here.” I ordered. I picked up a couple of velcro straps and wrapped them around her forelegs. Then I attached the main harness to her back and stepped back. “Ok, now fly up so that the parachute hangs beneath you.”

“Ok, how does this help the parachute not kill me when I’m actually flying?”

“I’m getting there!” I snapped. She flew up so that the parachute hung beneath her. It filled up with air quickly and made a big bell. “Ok, now drop your hooves down to your side.” RD did as I said and the strings attached to the velcro strap on her foreleg relaxed, opening a bunch of flaps on the bottom of the parachute. “There, see? Keep your legs back for minimum resistance, and move them forward for more!”

“Whoa! Ya know, sometimes I forget that you’re smart.” RD swayed her legs back and forth, experimenting with the flaps. Every time she moved her legs next to her head, the strings pulled taut and the flaps snapped shut. “Sweet! Here I go!” She dropped her hooves back down to her sides and took off. I watched patiently as she flew a bunch of laps around the track. She was obviously trying to show off her strength because she was flying pretty fast. I could see the strain on her face though, so I worried a little that she might hurt herself.

“Hey, RD, don’t push yourself too hard!” I shouted. She ignored me and started to edge her legs forward, causing the flaps to close slightly. Her speed decreased noticeably, but her wings started to move faster and she soon regained her previous speed. “Really RD, slow down! No wait, if she keeps going like this she might blow up! That’d be pretty funny.”

“No! I’m fine!” She lied as she closed the flaps even further. I shot off of the ground like a bullet and tackled her out of the air. She gasped in surprise and her coat was drenched in sweat already. The parachute billowed out behind us and we started a gentle descent toward the ground.

“Ok, no need to kill yourself in your first hour of owning the parachute.” I reprimanded her. She scowled at me.

“I was perfec-*gasp*-ly fine without *gasp* your help!” She kept her rapid gasping up, but I could tell she was trying to stop.

“Yeah, your lungs and sweat glands disagree.” RD just snorted at me and turned her head. Soon after though, RD sighed and turned back to me.

“... Sorry...” She gasped again. “Thanks for stopping me....”

“No problem. You know I’ve got your back.”

“I know... Thanks for taking care of me.”

“Hey, it’s what friends do!”

“You know you do way more than a normal friend!”

“Well, I guess.”

“Ugh, but I never get to do anything for you...” She griped.

“Well, I don’t ever really need anything. To be honest, just the fact that you’re my friend makes me really happy!”

“Hmph... You know, I don’t want to hear that you like being friends...”

“Well, if you were my marefriend that’d be pretty cool, but you know I’m not just gonna toss the other girls’ feeling out a window and be with you.”

“I know... but... we have right now, right?”

“Well, yeah.”

“Then why are we still pretending to only be friends?”

“Because today we still are.” I touched down on the ground.

“No we aren’t. You know that... I love you Sharky.”

“I know, but it’s not--”

“I know it’s not my day! Even then, can you honestly say you don’t love me like you’re pretending to?” I didn’t answer. “I thought so!” The parachute fell onto us, casting us into darkness. It was pretty thick if it managed to block out all light.

“Look, that doesn’t matter. Today, you are my friend.”

“No I’m not!” RD’s head shot forward and she locked her lips against mine. I have no idea how she had found them so easily in the dark, but she did. Before I could push her off, she pulled away on her own.

“I’m sorry! Sorry! I couldn’t help it! We’re alone, it’s dark, you just saved me... I just... Ugh!”

“... You... I don’t... Oh my gosh. Look, I’m going to pretend that didn’t happen.”

“No! It did happen! I did a bad thing... but I liked it...”

“RD, we aren’t going to discuss this. It’s not your day today.”

“I don’t care! I got this day fair and square! Look I want to spend today as your marefriend! I’ve spent too many as just a friend!”

“RD, no!”

“Tell me that kiss didn’t feel good to you too!” She screamed. “Tell me you don’t love me! Then you can treat me like a friend!” As my vision adjusted to the darkness, I could see the tears in RD’s eyes. I sighed exhaustedly.

“... You know I can’t do that.”

“Then don’t! Just kiss me back, please... Like a coltfriend would. Just for today, I promise I won’t do this again until it’s actually my turn!”

“This went from you almost killing yourself to kissing really damn fast!” I noted. RD gave a sad chuckle.

“You know I like fast... Now what’ll it be?” She leaned forward again and her lips made contact with mine...

And I didn’t know what to do.

Byron

I stood there, stuck in a mental battle with myself as RD kissed me lightly. She was making it obvious that she wanted me to take charge of the kiss. I had a choice: I could either spurn RD’s affections altogether, or technically cheat on Twilight. I didn’t want to lose RD, but I really didn’t want to cheat either. I needed to find a solution that would avoid both negative outcomes, and quick. I could feel RD’s lips quivering in sadness as I held off. So, I did the only thing I could do. I pulled away and put RD on the ground. She started crying lightly.

“So... you don’t love me after all...” She sobbed. I dropped down to one knee and hugged her neck.

“Correction RD, I love you too much. If I were to just turn my back on Twilight today, what would stop me from turning my back on you later? I’m doing this because I need to. I wouldn’t be the good guy you fell in love with if I betrayed my marefriend today.” RD’s tears didn’t stop coming.

“... Why do you have to be such a good guy? Can’t you just be the bad guy once?”

“Nope, that’s why I have Steven. He’s the bad guy so that I never have to be.” RD didn’t seem any happier. “Look, if it makes you feel better, it was very difficult for me to be the good guy and not kiss you back.” This got a small smile from her. She sniffled and wiped her eyes clear of any signs that she had been crying.

“H-hey, I just realized, you have wings now! We should go see Gilda.” RD quickly changed the subject. I breathed an inward sigh of relief and started to crawl out of the parachute. We unhooked RD from the various straps and folded the parachute back up. Afterwards, I tucked it under my arm and we took off towards RD’s house. Due to my new jumping strength, my take off put me quite a few feet ahead of her, but she caught up soon enough.

“Your eyes are still a bit red...” I noted to RD. “You wanna wait until they go back to normal before we go see Gilda?”

“Nah, I’ll be fine.”

“Okayyy...” We flew through the floor of RD’s house and landed inside. We were in the living room, and I had the sudden feeling that we were being watched. Gilda was laying on a crudely made cloud bed in the middle of the room, so I dismissed the feeling as nothing. “Hey, where’s Scootaloo?”

“She’s at school dude. It’s the middle of the day still.”

“Ah...” I tried to ignore the feeling, but it still didn’t go away. I was driven to look around for a moment by the sheer annoyance at the feeling. I didn’t see anything.

“What’re you doing?” RD was giving me a strange stare.

“Nothing, nothing. Just... nothing. Let’s go wake up Gilda.” RD and I approached Gilda and started shaking her. Well, RD started shaking her, I stood back a few feet.

“CHEEP!” My robin screeched from behind us. I whirled around to see him.

“Dude, what the he--” There was a dagger in my face, clearly it had been attempting to get to my neck. In reflex, I punched forward and my assailant flew across the room and through a cloud wall. It was clear he wouldn’t be getting up anytime soon. As son as he was gone, I saw three other figures in the room not far behind him. They were all gryffins garbed entirely in white that blended in with the clouds.

“Sharky what was that s--”

“Get out now RD! Take Gilda!” I didn’t bother to look back as I dashed forward to the gryffins. They seemed truly terrified... for the few moments they were conscious. I darted to two of them and smashed my fists into their heads before they could get away. I decided I really liked the bodily combination of RD’s speed with my strength. I grabbed the last one by the tufts of feathers on his chest and lifted him off the ground.

“Let me go filth! Argh, don’t make me hurt you!” He shouted indignantly. I laughed heavily.

“Clearly you don’t understand, I NOW OWN YOU BITCH! Don’t fool yourself here, I could crush you with no second thoughts. Now, kindly tell me why the hell you tried to kill me.”

“Don’t flatter yourself you arrogant bastard! We weren’t here for you!” The gryffin twisted his head and bit into his robed shoulder. He turned back to me and tried to bite down on something, but I slapped him so hard his eyes spun. The cloth flew out of his mouth and landed on the floor where a little green pill rolled out of the cloth.

“Nice try, I’ve seen those movies. Now, if you weren’t here for me, who were you here for?”

“Your mother!” He shouted indignantly. I whipped out the Buster Sword and shoved his upper body through a wall. He was held fast by the cloud. I flew outside to see his face and hovered beside him.

“Well, seeing as how you aren’t here for me and RD isn’t a gryffin princess, I’m gonna go ahead and say you’re here for Gilda.” The small flash of surprise in his eyes told me all I needed to know. “Ah, so you are here for her. The question is, why?” He clamped his beak shut. I sighed. “Look, this is simple. Just tell me why you’re here...” I placed the Buster Sword against the joint that connected his left wing to his body. “And you get to keep your wing. Dude, boss as fuck.”

“Ha! I know of you! You’re some supposed hero! You’d never do that!”

“Wouldn’t I?” I asked innocently as I dug the blade into the joint. He winced and his eyes filled with doubt. “I wonder, how hard would it be to fly with one wing?” I asked nonchalantly.

“Y-you can’t fool me! I’ll never talk!”

”Bitch, you done lost your wing privileges! Sorry sir, that was not the correct answer!” I reared back the sword and swung forward.

“No, wait!” He screeched. I stopped the swing about an inch away from his joint.

“Yeeeeesssss?” I drew out the word purposely, trying to sound impatient.

“Look, we’re trying to get the Gryffin King to step down from the throne!!” He confessed.

“Ah, so I take it you were here to kidnap Gilda, not kill her.”

“Yes! Yes!”

“Okay, who employed you to do this?”

“We acted on our own!” I raised the sword again.

“Look, I’m not stupid. Nopony just wakes up one day and decides to kidnap a princess for no reward other than a dethroned king. Also, you tried to take a pill and die. This mean that somepony obviously wanted you to either succeed or die trying so that nopony could figure out who organized this crap.”

“... You’re clever hero. Fine, we work for a very wealthy gryffin named ‘Byron’. I honestly don’t know his last name. I swear.” I could see no lie in his eyes.

“Good, good. Now, what did you plan on doing with the princess after kidnapping her?”

“She would have been a prisoner, what we did wouldn’t have mattered... but I can tell you we weren’t told we would be releasing her when the king stepped down...” He had a sadistic grin on his face. I knew exactly what he meant.

They would likely have raped her.

They would have killed her when they got what they wanted.

And dear Celestia did it piss me off.

“Go ahead! He deserves it...” I switched the Buster Sword over to my right hand and reared back my fist. His grin disappeared and his face changed to an expression that cried for mercy.

Yeah, right.

I swung down full-force. I could feel the impact reverberate through his body and he plowed straight through the wall and through even the floor.

*CRACK* The sound echoed through the air as he started a rather rapid descent toward the ground. I flew down and yanked him out of the air. I held him up to look at him. His beak had split rather unevenly down the middle and blood was pouring out of his wound and into his mouth. He was out cold.

“... Don’t mess with my friends.” I growled to the unconscious assassin. He didn’t answer of course. I flew back up to RD’s house and gathered all the would-be kidnappers together. RD and Gilda popped their heads out from around the corner of one of the rooms.

“W-what the heck just happened Sharky?” RD asked with obvious fear.

“Assassins/kidnappers were trying to get our friend Gilda.”

“Aww dammit, not again.” Gilda muttered. I tried not to let surprise show on my face.

“Again? This has happened before?”

“Yeah, usually I’m in the castle though. Daddy’s guards get them most of the time.”

“What do you mean most of the time? Who gets them the other times?”

“Dad... Those ones wished the guards found them first.”

“Did you just say ‘Daddy’?” RD giggled. Gilda glared at her.

“Shaddup, I’m tired. Why’re your eyes red? Been cryin’ like a big baby?”

“Shaddup...”

“... Guys, assassins? Shouldn’t we focus on that?” I interrupted.

“Eh, what’re we gonna do? It just comes with being a princess.” Gilda snorted uninterestedly.

“Well, I’m guessing you’ve never figured out who was sending these guys?”

“Nope, they always died before anypony could ask them.”

“Yeah, well I figured it out.”

“Did ya? Who is it?” Gilda seemed interested now.

“I only got a first name. They called him Byron.” Gilda’s interest disappeared again.

“Don’t know ‘im.”

“Well, maybe your father does.”

“You wanna ask him?”

“Why not?”

“Well, have at it I guess.”

“Right, well now that we’re not at risk of dying, what did you wanna see me for Gilda?”

“Well uh... I wanted to say... I’m leaving.”

“What?”

“I’m leaving Ponyville.”

“... Why the hell would you do something that stupid?” Gilda’s head twitched back in surprise.

“What’d you just say?”

“You heard me. You’ve got friends, a house, food, what the hell are you thinking?”

“... I’m thinking that this kinda life isn’t for me. I’m a drifter.”

“Yeah, you’re staying.”

“No I’m not!” I pointed to the pile of assassins.

“Those guys woulda kidnapped you and likely killed you. If I weren’t here, you’d be dead.”

“Chirp!” My robin surprised me from his new perch on my shoulder.

“Oh yeah, him too. Point is, you need protection until this problem gets solved. You can either stay near me, or you can move back in with daddy.” Gilda frowned.

“Here’s fine...”

“Good choice. Now, I should call L--”

“Sharky, what happened to this one?” RD interrupted as she stared at the one with the split beak.

“He punched his fucking face in for messing with Gilda. It was awesome as fuck. I hit him. Hard. He brought it upon himself though.”

“Alright, that’s fucking awesome dude.” Gilda nodded with approval. RD looked a little uneasy.

“D... did you have to be that rough?”

“Look, I’m going to give you the facts. If he had gotten away with this, I would be dead, you’d be dead, and Gilda would be kidnapped, likely raped, and killed. They’re lucky he’s the only one I hit... with intention to harm beyond knockout.”

“I dunno Sharky... It doesn’t seem right...”

“Scoots would be an orphan all over again and she’d come home to the dead bodies of me and you. How do you think that would affect her?” RD’s face immediately hardened.

“... Wanna hit another one?”

“I think one is plenty. He’ll live to tell others not to screw with me and this may be enough to end Gilda’s assassin problem by itself. Oh, that reminds me...” I went by each gryffin one by one and removed their little poison pills. I placed them in a little empty pouch just in case I ever found a use for them. “But just in case, I’m going to search for this Byron guy anyway. Now, let’s call Luna so some guards can pick up these guys...” I whipped out my phone and called Luna.

“Sharky! How art thou?” Luna asked nervously.

“Good, I’m good. Oh, except for the fact that I just got attacked by gryffin assassins.”

“Good, I wanted to apologize for... What?”

“Yeah, gryffin assassins. It was a riot. Anyway, I got about three or four unconscious gryffins that need to be picked up.”

“Sharky, they aren’t Equestrian prisoners. If I were to imprison them, it would be considered an act of aggression against the Gryffin Empire.”

“Fan fucking tastic. Well, thanks anyway...” I started to hang up.

“Wait, wait!” Luna called. I halted my action. “Ehm, I would like to offer you a small vacation from monster hunting as an apology for my rather terrible behavior. Truth be told, I’ve relied on you a bit too much anyway.”

“Sweet, just what the doctor ordered!”

“... You’re ok with this? I found it to be a rather poor apology...”

“Nope, I’m good. Thanks Luna!”

“Very well, I’ll call you soon for another... slightly related matter Sharky.” Luna quickly hung up. I put my phone back away and looked down to the downed gryffins.

“So... What do we do now?” RD asked.

“Well, It’s simple really.” I stated monotonically. “We get to carry these bastards all the way to the Gryffin Empire.”

“... Great.” Gilda grumbled.

"Well, when I say 'we' I mean mostly me. You're coming with me though, sweetness. I need you to explain to daddy that you'll be in my care for awhile."

"... What'd you just call me?" A blush rapidly spread across Gilda's face. I ignored it.

"You get to come too RD. Mostly because you have to spend the day with me and I'm not gonna let you cheat your way into another because I have to do this."

"Mostly?" RD asked.

"Well the other part is that I just enjoy your company." I turned to the gryffins again to try and determine how I was going to carry them. I thought for awhile, but there was no way possible for it to be done without there being too much weight for me to fly. Then I had an idea. "Hey, what's the general opinion of dragons in the Gryffin Empire Gilda?"

"Well, considering the fact that they consider us delicious, not good."

"Well, they're gonna have to get over that for now..."

Volunteer

“Hey Esmerelda!!” I called as I touched down on the entrance to her cave. I heard a lot of shifting from inside.

“Sharky? Is that you? I didn’t even call for you...” Her voice rumbled out from the depths of the cave.

“Yeah, sorry, but I need your help.”

“Oh, it’s no trouble! As long as you don’t mind doing something for me...”

“Uhh, sure. What?”

“Well, actually it’d be more accurate if I said ‘do something TO me...’”

“Okay, what?”

“Well, I want you.”

“... Toooooo?”

“Do me.”

“A favor?”

“No, just me.”

“... Look, I don’t have time for word games. There are four unconscious gryffin assassins in my friend’s house and I need you to help me carry them to the Empire before they wake up and kill my friends.”

“... My request can wait, take me to the house, quickly!” Esmerelda dashed out of the cave and launched herself into the air, clearly willing to put the needs of a fundamental stranger above her own. I felt pretty proud of her at that moment. Then I ran and jumped off of the cliff myself before winging my way in front of her to show her the way.

“Hiii guys!” I shouted as I approached RD’s house. Thunderous wing beats sounded behind me. RD and Gilda stuck their heads out of the house only to gasp and squeal a little as they took in the pure size of Esmerelda. “I’ll get the bodies and be right back Esmerelda!”

“What?!” I had forgotten her head was way above me. I flew up to her head and repeated myself. This time she just nodded and I flew into the house. Soon afterward, Esmerelda was holding all the gryffins and we were ready to go. The girls came out of the house and I turned to Gilda.

“Hey Gilda, which direction is the empire?”

“How the fuck should I know?”

“... What?”

“Dude, moving empire. I have no idea where it is.”

“... Dang it. Well, I’m sure if we go back to where it was last, we’ll at least be able to see where it went.” The girls nodded in agreement. “So where was it last?”

“What?! I thought you’d know!” Gilda screeched.

“How the hell would I know? I was wandering aimlessly when I found you and you took me to the empire! I have no idea which direction I was headed, or which direction you took me!”

“Hmph... Well, I think I remember the way I took to get here, so we can just go back that way.”

“Ok Gilda, lead the way!” RD shouted over Esmerelda’s wing beats. Gilda turned to the east and started flying, the rest of us in pursuit.

Hours later, we were all resting on Esmerelda’s back while she kept going at her surprisingly fast flight speed. Her endurance was amazing. We had finally reached the ocean, and I stroked RD’s neck as I looked to the horizon for signs of the kingdom. Dash and Gilda were both laying on either side of my lap, dead tired. I wasn’t totally unwinded myself, but I wasn’t exhausted either. Esmerelda’s head was dead set on the north-eastern horizon.

“Hey! I think I see it!” She called. I squinted in the direction she was staring, but I couldn’t see anything. Gilda lifted her head off my lap and peered in the direction Esmerelda indicated.

“Hey, yeah! That’s it!” Gilda agreed. I leaned forward and tried to see what they saw, but to no avail. RD looked just about as confused as me, but the others were dead set on the horizon. After a few more minutes of flying, a little squiggle showed up on the horizon. I facepalmed as I realized that the others had much better vision than me and RD. Being half-eagle and a dragon, their eyes were bound to be much stronger than mine.

“Oh yeah, that’s it!” RD agreed as the squiggle grew and expanded to include the edges of the horizon to both the left and right, once again amazing me with the sheer size of the cloud continent. I frowned suddenly as I realized that we hadn’t heard a single peep from the assassins the whole flight. I flew gently away from Esmerelda and below her to see her talons. Sure enough, the gryffins were all clinging to her limbs for dear life, too terrified to even dare to move.

“What bitches... Well... cowards will be cowards I suppose.” I flew back to Esmerelda’s back and grinned at RD. “Well, you enjoying your day?”

“Heck yeah! This is more exciting than another day clearing clouds, that’s for sure!”

“Well, that’s good... Wanna race to the empire and warn them that the oncoming dragon is friendly?”

“You had me at ‘race’.” She grinned and spread her wings eagerly. In an instant, we both blasted off of Esmerelda full speed.

“Bwah!” Esmerelda shrieked as she actually rocked back in mid-air from the combined forces of our takeoffs. My takeoff power was higher than RD’s, so I had a little distance on her in the beginning. As the kingdom came into focus, RD actually started gaining on me! I forced myself to fly even harder, flapping as if my life depended on it. By the time that we actually touched down on the kingdom, she was dead even with me.

“What’s up Sharky, gettin’ slow already?” RD teased. She knew she would have won if the race had been any longer.

“I... I don’t know... I’m supposed to be just as fast as you!” RD seemed to think for a moment.

“Maybe it’s all your muscles.” She offered. “They might weigh you down or mess with your wings or something.”

“Hey! It’s the hero!” A gryffin called.

“Dammit, is it too much to ask for them to at least know my name?” I groaned. I turned to the quickly growing crowd of gryffins. “Hey! I need to tell you all something!” I roared over the increasingly loud crowd. The cluttered rumble that had been coming from them settled down to a loud collection of whispers. “Look, there’s a FRIENDLY dragon on the way here...” The group seemed to suddenly get nervous.

“F-friendly?” One gryffin piped up nervously.

“Nah, it’s here to destroy you and fuck bitches... I think you’ve got enough bitches.” The gryffins suddenly started freaking out, screaming and taking off in random directions. I shouted and ran around trying to get them to calm down, but all I managed to do is look stupid. I had totally lost control of the situation.

“Well... that could've gone better...” RD observed. I glared at her.

“Yeah, I never would have guessed.” I sighed heavily. “Well, at least when Esmerelda actually shows up they won’t be able to hurt her....” A bunch of gryffins dressed in plain steel armor ran out to the edge of the cloud, led by a frantic civilian gryffin. They were working together to haul a huge ballista and aim it at Esmerelda.

“... Can that hurt her?” RD asked nervously. I groaned as they loaded an enormous bolt into it.

“Yes, I’m willing to bet it can.” I darted over to the soldiers. “Hey! Stop! That dragon is with me!” Three more ballistas appeared nearby, along with a huge amount of soldiers that weren’t pulling ballistas. Obviously this was some sort of prepared dragon response team. One of the gryffins turned to me with an angry scowl. He was the only one wearing full armor, rather than a breastplate and helmet like the others.

“You brought that thing here?!” He screamed as he turned to me. I frowned as I realized that he was the guard captain I had gotten into a bar fight with. His scowl deepened as he realized who I was. “Hey! Grrrr.... Get him! He’s allied with the enemy dragon!” He roared to his subordinates. I facepalmed.

“Really? You wanna go for a second round bro? Alright, but remember you brought this on yourself!” I brought up both of my fists defensively. I didn’t want to kill them, so my bare hands were my only real option. However, none of the gryffins charged me. The captain whirled around angrily.

“What’re you doing?! I said get him!” He raged. The gryffins didn’t look like they wanted to disobey him, but they seemed more afraid of me.

“But... he’s the hero!” One soldier shouted. The captain growled.

“Yes, of EQUESTRIA!!! We’re the GRYFFIN EMPIRE! Thus, he is the enemy! Now get him!”

“Enemy? Dude, I’m here because I captured some gryffins that tried to assassinate the freaking princess. The dragon is a kind dragon, she’s just carrying the captives.”

“Lies! Don’t try to lure us into a false sense of security!” The captain seemed to only be getting angrier, but the rest of the soldiers seemed to be torn.

“Look, how’s this? I’ll let you put restraints on me, cuffs or whatever. You hide these ballistas behind some buildings. When the dragon comes, if it attacks, kill it and I’ll let you execute me. If it doesn’t, let me go and leave peacefully.” The captain seemed to not like the idea, but there was an overwhelming agreement from the others. ”WHAT?! You’re just gonna let him tie us up like a bitch?!!”

“Grrrr.... FINE!” The captain conceded angrily. This guy had a lot of anger in him. I moved to him and allowed him to tie me up. He seemed to take great joy in hog-tying me, simply trying to embarrass me. I actually was a little upset, but I didn’t really let it bother me. I think he tried to tighten the knots to be painful, but again, I wasn’t really bothered. RD ran over to me soon afterward.

“What the heck did you do to him?!” She screeched. “Let him go! No--”

“RD, calm down! I’m just doing this until Esmerelda gets here and proves she’s nice.” I interrupted. I guessed she hadn’t seen our agreement.

“What?! Are you kidding me?! This is ridiculous! You’re just gonna let them do this to you?!”

“That’s what I said! Trust me, Esmerelda will get here, be nice, and everything will be fine.”

“I know it’ll all be fine, but why the buck are you letting them do this to you?! You’re not some criminal that needs to be tied up!”

“I know, but they don’t trust me, so I’m going to give them a reason to trust me.”

“They shouldn’t need a reason! You’re a hero! Even these dumb gryffins should know that!” RD gained a few angry stares from some nearby soldiers as they moved a ballista behind a building.

“Uhh... RD, calm down a bit. You’re gonna get jumped or something if you keep going like that.”

“I don’t care! This is an outrage!”

“Calm the hell down! It’ll be over in a few minutes.” RD still seethed with anger, but she sat down beside me huffily rather than continuing to scream. By the time I had lost all feeling in my hands, I heard Esmerelda’s thunderous wingbeats approaching. It wasn’t heralded by screaming, so I assumed the guards had cleared citizens out of the immediate area. The beats came to a halt over head.

“... Sharky?” Esmerelda called out nervously. “Where are you?” She whipped her head around, searching for me. After a few minutes of searching, the captain hissed in displeasure.

“Yer right, I know a harmless pansy when I see one, and she’s one.” He admitted. He reached to untie my bonds, but I simply strained my arms and legs and snapped the rope. He grunted. “Showoff...”

“Showoff? Yeah, you’re right, I guess I was showing off a little. Anyway, Esmerelda!” I shouted back to her. She managed to hear me over her loud wings.

“Oh! There you are! Can I set these gryffins down now and land? My wings are getting tired...”

“Uhhh, hey, you guys.” I addressed the soldiers. “Can you do me a favor and restrain these gryffins when the dragon sets them down? They’re the assassins.” A few of them nodded and stepped forward to volunteer their services. I gave Esmerelda a thumbs-up. She stared at me for a while, clearly not understanding the gesture. I rolled my eyes and flew up to her.

“Well, can I put them down now?” She whined a little. I laughed.

“That’ll do Esmerelda, that’ll do.” She gave me another blank stare. “... Just put them down.” She dropped them right away, letting them fall to the cloud. Once they had been tackled and tied up, Esmerelda dropped to the cloud exhaustedly. I landed next to her face and patted her snout thankfully. She exhaled lightly and smiled at me in return.

“A-anyway, where d-do you want us to ta-take these guys?” A soldier asked behind me. His voice was broken not by stutters, but small noises of exertion as his captive wrestled against him.

“Well, unless I’m mistaken, the king would like to see his daughter...” I began to explain as Gilda leapt off of Esmerelda and walked over to me. “And meet the ones that tried to kill her.”

“Thank you for bringing them to me.” The king grumbled as the assassins kneeled in front of him. They were tied with more rope than needed to restrain even me. The soldiers that had helped me carry them had been dismissed, and Esmerelda was waiting where she had collapsed on the cloud. Gilda was standing unnecessarily close to me, which meant I had to keep a hand on RD to keep Gilda from breaking my link to her.

“No problem sir, they gave me the name of their employer as well, if you’d like to hear it.” The king’s face was quickly taken over by a huge smile.

“Then they have no use to me as prisoners... Guards! Take these maggots to the Arena...” The gryffins that stood near the throne leapt into motion, grabbing and dragging away the assassins. They immediately started screaming for mercy and begging for forgiveness. Which struck me as odd. “Now, tell me the name.” My attention snapped back to the king.

“Byron, they called him Byron.” The king’s expression filled with confusion.

“What? That’s not possible...” He muttered.

“What’s not possible sir?” He turned to me with a vacant expression.

“Byron... Byron is dead.”

“Well, so am I technically. Twice over. Look where I am now.” The king waved a talon dismissively.

“Begone warrior. I appreciate the capture of the assassins and the return of my daughter. Be assured your deeds will not go unrewarded, and leave with the knowledge that Gilda will be safe now.”

“Darn right she’ll be safe, because she’s staying with me.” The fire returned to the king’s eyes and he looked to be barely refraining from growling.

“Excuse me, whelp? Who do you think you are to come in here and tell me what will happen to my daughter?”

“Easy, I’m the freaking hero of Equestria. Who better than me to protect her? My reputation alone should provide ample protection.” The large gryffin snorted at me.

“Pfft, hero of a bunch of weak ponies. Any gryffin warrior could pull off looking like a hero among those softies.”

“Oh really?” I asked with slight strain in my voice. “Then how about you send me a real gryffin warrior so I can fight him? Then we’ll see if your claim holds true.” I still didn’t think much of myself as a hero, but I knew I could own any gryffin this guy sent to me. Instead of getting angry like I expected, he grinned at me.

“I have a much better idea...” He turned in the direction the guards had gone. “Guards! Come to me!” He turned back to me. “We have another volunteer for the Arena!”

Dignity? HA.

Entirely sure I’d be able to easily handle any challenge the king could throw at me, I allowed the guards to bind my hands behind my back with chains. RD and Gilda certainly didn’t appreciate my cooperation.

“Are you insane Sharky?! Do you know what happens in there?!” Gilda screeched.

“I dunno, some kinda gladiator thing I figure.”

“Well... yes...” Gilda admitted.

“You can’t just go and agree to something like this!” RD yelled angrily. “You could die!”

“As if. Gilda, is anything in this arena capable of killing me?”

“I don’t know! I’m not even allowed to watch! As a matter of fact, only hardened warriors go and watch! Sometimes even they have to leave!”

“Wow, so whatever happens in there must be pretty bad huh?”

“Duh!”

“Sweet, we gonna kill it. I’m sure I can take whatever is waiting. Whoa! Hey! Those are my weapons!” I shouted as the gryffin guards took my blades from my back. Something struck me right in the center of my lower back and I was thrown to the floor. It didn’t hurt, but it surprised me.

“Hey! What the buck are you doing?!” RD shrieked.

“Get your claws off him right now!” Gilda chimed in. My armor was pulled off of me in one swift movement. I leapt to my feet in surprise with a small blush on my face.

“H-hey! What’s the big idea!”

“My apologies hero, but this is how you must enter the Arena.” The king explained. “The fighters are only permitted the weapons we provide and the armor we provide.”

“You could have warned me you were gonna strip me down to my boxers!”

“Oh yes, those must go too.”

“No!”

“It’s the rules hero!”

“To hell with that! This isn’t even armor! It’s just to protect my dignity!”

“Arena fighters get no dignity. You fight the way the rest of the challengers do, or not at all and you leave here a proven false hero.”

“... Girls, turn away please... and you better fucking appreciate what I’m doing for you Gilda.” I couldn’t see the girls because they were behind me, but I hoped they had turned around.

“He said turn around Gilda!” The king barked. I blushed as I realized Gilda might have just seen me naked had I been stripped already. “Good, it’s bad enough he has to do this without you dishonoring him further. I truly am sorry for this hero, but I refuse to leave my daughter in the company of somepony incapable of protecting her.” The king surprised me a bit with his apology, but I found that I didn’t really care as I was forced out of my boxers.

“... Eep!” I heard a small squeak from RD.

*pomf* *pomf*

“... I will pretend I heard none of that.” I mumbled to myself.

Wait, where did that second *pomf* come from? I turned my head to see Gilda’s wings were just as straight as RD’s. Most likely unrelated... I hoped. I was quickly ushered out of the throne room by the guards. Then I heard galloping behind us.

“Wait! He needs me!” I heard RD shout. She rushed up to me and leapt on top of me. She was awkwardly balancing on my head.

“That’s ridiculous miss. Leave and let us take him to the Arena or we’ll be forced to remove and restrain you.” One of the guards ordered.

“No no, he needs me to keep his wings or he’ll fall through the clouds and die!” She explained. The guard snorted.

“That’s the most ridiculous excuse I’ve ever heard. Besides, the Arena is made of stone. He is in no danger of falling.” I was again a little surprised, but I didn’t say anything. I just whispered to RD for her to go back to Gilda. She left reluctantly, but didn’t complain like she obviously wanted to. My escorts continued rapidly towards our destination while I struggled to retain as much of RD’s magic as I could. Before I knew it, we had exited the castle and flown clear to a huge stone building that looked exactly like the Colosseum.

Just intact and smaller.

We walked into one of the huge arches and through a few halls. I could feel magic emenating from the stone. I couldn't absorb it, but I could guess it was what let the stadium float. We started passing individual halls that looked like dead ends. We turned down one of the halls and I was thrown into a cell that had been just out of view from the main hall.

“You will be staying here in between matches. Food will be brought to you as well as water.” One of the guards explained.

“Wait, wait! This wasn’t part of the deal! How long am I to stay here?!”

“Until you’ve won ten rounds of combat. Assuming you don’t lose... or die, it should take roughly two days.” The guards pivoted curtly and took off without another word.

“Wait! WAIT! This is bullshit! I was supposed to fight! Not be a prisoner for two days!” I leapt up and ran to the cage bars. They hadn’t even bothered to undo my bindings, so all I could do was scream. I briefly contemplated kicking the door down, but I reminded myself that this was to ensure Gilda’s safety. I resigned myself to sitting in the corner of my cell and waiting.

Less than two hours later, my cell door was unlocked. The guards that walked into my cell were unarmed and not wearing armor. They knew I wasn’t going to try and fight them or run. They tossed a leather battle skirt, a breastplate, and a helmet at me.

“Suit up. Your first fight starts now.” One of them ordered gruffly. His voice wasn’t commanding or rude though. It sounded more like a suggestion. I walked over to them and turned so that they could undo my bonds. The chains quickly fell to the floor with a clatter and I walked back to the armor. It was made for gryffins. I could only get the battle skirt on and they brought me a larger helmet which I managed to make work.

“What about a weapon?” I asked patiently. They handed me a large, for them, gladius. It equated to about a shortsword for me, but a longsword to them. They didn’t say a word and simply started walking down the hall away from my cell. I followed just as quietly. After navigating through another series of halls, we came to a huge wooden gate. It lowered and disappeared into the ground, suddenly blinding me with bright light.

I was on my way to the battlefield.

It was a huge circular field that looked like it was well used for combat. The few patches of dirt that weren’t blood stained were dry and dusty. There was a huge amount of stands, and they were unsurprisingly pretty empty. The few spectators there seemed very excited and eager to see another fight. I stepped into the sun and the crowd went silent as they saw who I was.

Then they started cheering like idiots.

I ignored them and started looking around the field. I could feel a magic aura above me that was different from the one in the walls. I had no idea what it did. The only thing that really stuck out to me was a huge splatter on the left side of the stadium. It looked pretty fresh, so the fight before me must have been pretty brutal. Suddenly, across the field, a second gate opened. One of the little gryffin assassins from earlier popped out and the gate slammed shut. The assassin immediately turned and started clawing at the gate.

“No! No! Don’t leave me in here! I don’t want to die like this!” He wailed. I snorted.

“Well, then don’t.” I boomed across the field to him. “Pick up a weapon and fight.” The gryffin flinched and slowly turned around. I knew he had recognized my voice.

“N-no... impossible... You aren’t a criminal! Why are you in here?!?” He returned to banging on the gate with renewed vigor. I sighed and strode towards him. The crowd laughed in delight at the theatrics of the cowardly assassin.

“I’m here to earn my title as a worthy guardian of the princess.” I explained. “You just happen to be the first blood smear we get to add to this stadium.” I grabbed him by the feathers on the back of his neck and threw him across the field right into the center. The crowd cheered.

“No! Please! I have a wife and chicks!” He cried. I ignored him and kept walking. He started crawling desperately, but I ran over and planted my foot on his chest. He went limp under me and simply cried.

“Is that all?” I mumbled to myself. “Is this all the challenge you have to offer me?!” I screamed to the stands. They roared in disagreement. A large familiar voice boomed over them.

“Don’t worry hero. You’ll get your worthy opponent soon. For now, this opponent has earned...” The crowd went silent to hear the king’s decision. “Death!” He roared. I scoffed and kicked the gryffin away.

“If you wanted somepony to kill for you, you got the wrong guy. He’s not even a threat to me.” I turned my back to the king and started to walk back to my gate. The crowd unleashed a chorus of boo’s. I stumbled over a small rock, then a piercing pain started up in my right shoulder. I screamed out in surprise as blood began to course down my arm. I whirled around to see the little gryffin behind me, holding a dagger that he had just stabbed into my shoulder.

“... Oops...” I guess he had missed his intended target when I stumbled.

“I show you mercy and you attack me like that?!” I screamed. “I’mma kill ya bitch!” I slammed the hilt of the gladius into the gryffin’s forehead and he crumpled to the ground. He’s wasn’t dead, but he was screaming in pain. One quick stab to his throat ended that. The crowd went dead silent. I looked around in confusion. “Isn’t that what you wanted?!” I shouted out to them.

There was no way I’d pass up a moment like this.

“ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!” I screamed. The crowd erupted into cheers and I turned back to the gate. It opened for me and the guards were standing there. They led me back to my cell and locked me back in after taking my sword. They didn’t take my armor or helmet, but they also didn’t give me a bandage or anything for my bleeding shoulder. It stopped bleeding after a while and I figured I could only hope it wouldn’t hinder me in the next fight.

At least I was off to a good start. Kind of.

I wasn’t called on again for a while. I guess it was night now or something. It had been pretty late when we had gotten here after all.

Ah shit, Twi is gonna kill me when I get done with this. Well, I’ll just have to push this dating thing back a bit. I’ll give her that day RD took back too. Since I’m already adjusting the time. The sound of talons clicking against stone distracted me from my thoughts. Another soldier appeared at my door. I didn't bother to stand up.

“Uhh... good evening hero...” He mutters flusteredly. I groan, already knowing what was going on.

“Lemme guess, just like the roman tradition, you auction off a night of sex with gladiators?”

“... What’s a roman?”

“Just answer the damn question.”

“Well... uhh... yes...”

“Refund the girl’s money and send her away. I don’t do that kinda stuff.”

“The king said you’d say that. He also said that’d mean you weren’t acting like a real gladiator and his deal about his daughter would be off.”

“He doesn’t seem like the kind that would force me to abandon my honor!”

“... It was a very high bid...”

“... Fuck. That.” I struggled valiantly to think of any idea that would save me without endangering Gilda. She seemed safe here, but I knew it would only be a matter of time before an assassin got through the king’s guards and past him. I was the only one that could really defend her. Mostly with my reputation, seeing as how the assassins were terrified the moment I discovered them. The only thing I could think of doing was talking the bidder out of the sex. “Send her in.” I sighed exhaustedly.

“Good choice sir.” The soldier nodded approvingly. He left and shortly afterward brought in a hooded figure. He unlocked the door, allowed her to step in, then locked it behind her. He left quickly, obviously not wanting to keep her from having her way with me because of his presence.

“Hello hero...” The figure muttered. She pulled down her hood to reveal...

“Esmerelda?” I gasped in bewilderment.

"Hee hee, surprised?"

"Yes! How did you do this?!"

"As soon as I found out about this I flew your rainbow friend back to Ponyville, I would have taken the gryffin to but the king didn't let me, grabbed a bunch of my gems, then flew back here, waited until the bidding was almost finished, and changed to a pony at the last possible second to place the winning bid. No big deal."

"... Ok, well thanks for that. I'm glad you went through all that just to keep me from having to fuck a random buyer." Esmerelda gave me a blank stare for a few moments. Then she burst out laughing.

"Oh that's cute! I finally get it now! Good one Sharky! Pretending like I did this only to save you..."

"... If you didn't do this for me, then why?"

"Oh, I did do this for you!" She explained with a smile. "I've timed this all just right. By the time I would normally change back, it will be midnight and my transformation time will reset for the day, giving me another two hours! That's a grand total of about four hours of nothing but us, alone in this cell..." Esmerelda whispered as she trotted over to me. She leaned up against me and moved her head next to my ear. "Rutting like crazy..." She moaned into my ear. She exhaled into my ear, sending shivers down my spine as nerves I didn't even know I had tingled.

I quickly grabbed one of the whistles on my neck and blew it hard.

Fight

Esmerelda jumped back from me as the shrill whistle sounded in her ear. I kept blowing for a few seconds after she left just out of pure shock. I ran out of breath after a few seconds and let the whistle fall out of my mouth.

“... What the buck was that?!” Esmerelda hissed.

“What the buck was that?!” I hissed at the exact same time. She blinked.

“What?” She asked blankly. “I’m doing what I came here to do! You!”

“... What the hell?! This better be some sort of joke Esmerelda!”

“Joke? Why should this be a joke?”

“Because you basically just made me have to use my rape whistle!”

“Oh, that’s what that was...” She tilted her head slightly. “But why would you blow it? I wasn’t raping you...”

“You were about to!”

“... Sharky, that would be sex. Not rape.”

“Really?! Did you ask me if I wanted it?!”

“... Don’t you? I was under the understanding that males always wanted sex.”

“What?!”

“Don’t they?”

“No!!”

“Well, do you want it now?”

“NO!!”

“And why not?!” Esmerelda pouted. “I paid too much money for you to not be in the mood!”

“Esmerelda, it’s not even that! You’re supposed to be my friend! Not my lover!” A small smile creeped onto Esmerelda’s face.

“I don’t see why I can’t be your lover... after all, you did just say it wasn’t your mood keeping me from what I want...” Esmerelda started trotting back over to me.

“Esmerelda, don’t you dare!” She ignored me and kept going until she was pressed against my chest. Her lower body right over mine.

“What’re you gonna do about it? You gonna risk hurting me to stop me?” She teased. I lifted her up with one arm and held her above my head.

“Nnope. I’ll just hold you here for four hours until you have to leave.”

“What?! No! You can’t!”

“Sorry Esmerelda, but I’m not rutting with you. It’s against my rules.”

“Rules?! What rules!”

“No sex before marriage.”

“... What?”

“Also no cheating on my marefriend.”

“You have a marefriend?”

“Well... technically not right now because I pushed the days back, b--”

“Then I’m ok with breaking only one rule!” Esmerelda cried as she flailed around, trying to get me to drop her.

“Esmerelda, why the heck are you even doing this?”

“Because I love you! I want this Sharky!” I groaned as I was forced to again go through flashbacks that reminded me of everything that I should have noticed.

“Of. Fucking. Course.”

“We can rut?!”

“What? No, I was talking to myself. Look, if you like me, you’re gonna have to get in line. I’ve got four other mares all trying to get me too.” Esmerelda frowned at me.

“Dragons don’t wait. Besides, I’m already here, saving you from being with a stranger. Where are these other girls?”

“They’re all stuck in Ponyville because they aren’t dragons that can fly all the way here by themselves! Also, only one of them even know I’m here.”

“Ha, not true! As soon as you joined the Arena news spread like a fire! Everypony knows it by now!”

“... Oh. Well they still can’t get here on their own.”

“Which makes them unreliable. I’m different, I can be anywhere you need anytime you need me! I can help you with whatever you need, be it a dragon ride...” Esmerelda threw me a seductive smile and started wiggling her flanks. “Or a pony ride...”

“Hmm... I see what you did there. Very clever, but no. You can’t talk me into breaking my rules so easily. Especially not when I can just lift you and end any chance you have of getting to me.” Esmerelda’s smile turned into a scowl.

“Look, I will rut you Sharky, one way or another. I’ve been waiting a thousand years for a suitable mortal like yourself! You aren’t going to stop me with a few stupid rules!” Esmerelda’s tail started flicking wildly. I assumed it had been out of anger, but her growing look of frustration told me different.

*flick flick flick*

“What the buck are you doing?”

“Can’t you smell how much I want you Sharky? Doesn’t it turn you on?” Esmerelda asked teasingly as she continued wiggling her tail. I frowned and thought for a few moments before I understood what she was doing.

“Oh! Ha, you’re trying to get me to smell pheromones or something like that! Heh, sorry Esmerelda, but I’m no pony. Humans can’t smell or be affected by things like that.” Esmerelda gritted her teeth and growled.

“No fair!” She grunted. She started hitting my arm. I didn’t blink.

“Sucks to suck I suppose.”

“You haven’t even let me suck you yet!” I rolled my eyes at her crude comment.

“Dammit! Why you no fuck magic dragon?! Struggling won’t help you. I don’t like not making you happy, but you know I won’t rut you.”

“W-why?! I gave up so much food to get here...” She sobbed. She went limp in my hand and I started to feel bad.

“Look, I’m sorry. I just can’t do it and live with myself knowing I broke my own vows.” I apologized. Esmerelda didn’t mean any harm with her actions, she just really liked me. She sniffled a little.

“Fine... can we at least hug for a while? I don’t want to have wasted all those gems for nothing...” I thought for a while before realizing there was no harm in her request.

“I don’t see why not. Just as long as we only hug.” Esmerelda smiled at me thankfully as I lowered her to the ground. She wrapped her forelegs around me and sighed contentedly. I draped an arm over her back and leaned back against my cell wall in relief.

“...” Esmerelda sighed. “This isn’t enough for me.” She wiggled out from under my arm. I gave her a wary glare.

“Don’t you dare try to jump on me again...” I warned. She grinned.

“I won’t, I promise...” She turned to the cell door. “Guards!” She shouted. I gave her a confused look.

“You’re going to leave?”

“Hee hee, did you really think I’d make it that easy?” I frowned. Guards appeared at the door in a matter of seconds.

“Is something the matter ma’am?”

“Yes, it seems the gladiator I paid for is resisting a little. Would you mind putting some restraints on him?”

“... You didn’t.” I muttered. The guards unlocked the door and brought some chains over to me. I glared at Esmerelda’s smiling face as the guards chained my arms behind my back. Then they broke out a few collar like chains and attached them to my neck and legs. They pulled my legs apart and attached the chains to little loops in the walls. Then they pulled my head back and attached my neck chain to another loop.

“Will that be all ma’am?” The guards asked. I seethed quietly. Esmerelda knew I wouldn’t fight the guards. She smiled warmly at them.

“Yes, this will be fine thanks...”

“Okay, have a good night.” The guards took their leave quickly.

“Oh, I will...” She whispered lustily. I strained against the chains a little to find that they only had a tiny bit of slack. Nothing that I could do anything with. Not only that, but since I was wearing a leather battle skirt and my legs were spread... It didn’t help my situation.

“Esmerelda, don’t do this!” I warned. She just giggled and trotted over to me slowly.

“You sure know how to keep a mare waiting Sharky. I guess that will make this extra pleasurable though...”

“Esmerelda, if you do this, it’ll be the last thing we ever do together.” I warned more sternly. Esmerelda paused.

“... What do you mean?”

“I mean if you make me do this then you can forget about being my friend. Let alone anything beyond that.”

“W-what?!”

“You heard me. You can have tonight, or you can wait and try to get me normally.” Esmerelda looked to be on the verge of tears.

“B-b-but... You’re right there! Waiting for me! I can reach out and touch it.... Don’t make me turn away from this! Please!” She begged. I shook my head.

“It’s tonight or forever. You may never get this chance again, and you may get it every night. At least we’ll be friends forever. If you take it this night, I’ll never be with you, even as a friend.” Esmerelda frantically looked back and forth between me and... another part of me.

“T-that’s not fair!” Esmerelda whined. She tapped her forehooves anxiously. “W-what if you like it? Then it’s technically not even rape!”

“Nice try, but no.” Esmerelda whined loudly.

“Ooooooohhhh.... Fine!” She barked. “If that’s how you feel... I won’t do it!” She ran to the corner of the cell and sat with her back against it. “I... I still need to have fun though!” She eased herself down slightly so that her rump raised a little. She spread her legs and her hoof came up, and I instantly knew what was going on.

“Oh uhh... C-could you l-leave?” I asked quickly. She shook her head.

“I can’t! I need this, you won’t help me, and if I change back to get to the privacy of my cave, I won’t be able to change back and do this! J-just look away!” I tried to turn my head to look away, but the collar restrained me too much. I settled on closing my eyes as tightly as I could.

“F-fine, just m-make it quick...” I muttered. I did my best to ignore the happy noises that started coming from Esmerelda’s side of the cell, but my body reacted a little differently. Esmerelda giggled.

“You s-still sure I can’t rut you?” She teased.

“Very sure! Just hurry up please!” I closed my eyes and focused all of my thoughts into not thinking. The paradox allowed me to calm myself down and totally ignore my surroundings. My body obeyed my commands and I was able to totally rid myself of any lust I had only moments ago. Then I made the mistake of opening my eyes again.

“Hee hee, couldn’t help but peek?” I instantly shut my eyes again and had to focus on the paradox once more. It was much harder to get myself under control this time. I didn’t even notice it, but soon enough blood started trickling down my shoulder a little. Esmerelda had gotten my blood pumping so much that my wound had decided to bleed again. It was only a few drops worth of blood though.

“You done?” I asked as I heard the noises come to a stop. I felt a soft kiss on my cheek. I opened my eyes and Esmerelda was next to me.

“Yes, I’m done. Thank you for keeping your control there, I know that would’ve only gone south had you not put me in my place.” She admitted. “I... I just like you so much... and it has been soooo long...”

“Don’t worry, I understand. I won’t hold tonight against you, just don’t do anything like this again.”

“I won’t I promise. I just lost control...”

“Again, it’s fine. Go now please, I still feel a little awkward.” Esmerelda nodded and called for the guards again. They undid my bindings and left without a word. I slept uneasily a few minutes later. I was haunted by the small noises I had heard from Esmerelda.

And a tinge of regret.

The next morning I was awake when the guards came to get me. They tossed me my gladius without a word before escorting me to the arena. The gate opened and I was met with a blinding light again. I stepped onto the field and the gate slammed behind me. A mighty cheer rose up from the stands. I stepped back in surprise at the volume and gasped as I looked at the stands. They were full. Packed to bursting even.

“H-holy crap... Esmerelda was right... Everypony knows...” I mumbled.

“Meet our first fighter!” The king boomed. Obviously he was putting on a special show for the huge crowd. “You all know him, most of you love him, Sharky White! The hero of the Ponies! He has only one kill in the Arena thus far! He’s looking to prove himself a true hero, but can his competition stop him?” A huge ‘no’ rang out from the crowd.

“Wow.” I muttered again.

“Our second fighter, weighing in at 55 pounds of pure beat-down, Petra the Blind! She has a defeat count of 23 and a kill count of 3!” He cheered. The second gate opened to reveal a solid green earth pony with a brown mane. I couldn’t tell from here, but from the name ‘Petra’ I guessed it was a mare. She had a white cloth wrapped around her eyes. “She’s only here to kick flank and get money! ... And she already has her money...”

“Now, FIGHT!!” The king boomed.

“Wow, she’s really blind...” I muttered. I wondered to myself how a blind earth pony could be a threat to me. I started to approach her cautiously, wary of any tricks she might pull. Her sightless gaze seemed to be locked on me. It was a bit creepy. Then she started trotting towards me.

“I am very sorry hero, but your life ends today!” She shouted.

“That would be the third time I’ve died! Bring it!” I shouted back. Then she stomped. I tilted my head a little in confusion. Then leapt and rolled to the side as rumbling started up beneath me. A huge spike made of rock flew through the floor right where I had been standing.

“Ah! You’re faster than I expected!” She laughed a little. “I guess I’ll have to use something bigger than spikes!”

“Oh shit, she’s an earthbender in pony form... She must be a... stone cold killer...” I gasped. That roll had been right on my damaged shoulder, and it wasn’t fully healed yet. More rumbling started beneath me and I rolled to the left this time. It wasn’t enough. This time a large area of the Arena below me flew up, still flat. I was propelled into the air.

“W-whoa!” I shouted, thinking I would fly pretty far. However, twenty feet up I was caught by something... and thrown back down. There was a magic barrier over the Arena! I slammed into the ground and was tossed into the air by Petra again. My gladius flew out of my hand.

*Whoosh**WHAM**Whoosh**WHAM**Whoosh*WHAM**Whoosh**WHAM* I was repeatedly slammed against the ground and barrier. It hurt. Bad. Luckily it would only cause bruises.

Then she switched out the flat surface with a spike as I fell from the barrier again.

“Shit!” I shouted as I fell. I grabbed the sides of the spike as I fell, barely managing to come to a stop with the spike almost touching my nose. “That death would’ve been... written in stone...” I muttered. The crowd was laughing wildly at my misfortune. Then the stab in my right shoulder cause my right arm to quit on me. I fell down the side of the spike and landed harshly on the ground. My right arm was now dripping a little blood as a small river flowed out of my dagger wound.

“You might as well give up now!” The mare taunted. I stumbled back to my feet and grinned.

“Heh, you must be ‘stoned’ if you think that’s gonna happen.” I spoke confidently. “After all, I’m about to rock you...” I punched the rock spike next to me and hefted the pointed tip that broke off like a spear.

“... What?”

“Like a hurricane!” I threw the spear at her quickly. She lifted a hoof carelessly and the rock split in half and flew off to both of her sides as it hit her hoof.

“Seriously, that all you g-- Ah!” What she hadn’t seen coming was me, right behind the rock. My punch caught her in the chest, propelling her back into the far wall. She fell to the ground of the arena and a rock shell flew up around her. I started to sprint towards it, dodging left and right as spikes popped out of the ground. I leapt as high as I could as I approached the shell, causing myself to hit the barrier.

“I wish I had a rock pun for this!” I shouted as I shot downward and smashed both of my fists into the shell. The rock shelter shattered and flew in every direction, revealing a very frightened mare. “Ah... I should’ve said something about meteors or something.” I grabbed the mare with my left hand and hefted her into the air. The crowd let out a thunderous cheer.

“Impressive show Sharky!” The king boomed. “You are that much closer to earning the title of ‘hero’ even in my empire!” The crowd cheered again. “As for your opponent...” The king held out his talon sideways. I frowned as he pointed it downward. I placed the mare on the ground carefully.

“Forget it! I’m not gonna get my hands... ‘dirty’! She lives!” I boomed back. The crowd let out a muffled mixture of laughter and cheers. I turned without another word as the mare stumbled to her hooves.

“H-hey! Thank you!” She shouted. I waved over my shoulder as I walked back through the gate and the guards escorted me to my cell.

“... Oh yeah, forgot the gladius... I’m sure they’ll get it and give it back next fight.” I realized as I sat down in the cell. Soon I was brought a tray by another guard. It had a roll of bread, some water, and a grilled fish.

“Eat up hero, your next fight starts soon.” The guard warned. I sighed.

“Well, at least this’ll be an interesting day.” I muttered as I took a bite of the roll. No sooner had I finished my food than another guard showed up.

"Hey, time for your next fight hero." He informed me.

"Well damn, that was fast."

"The last round didn't last too long... Here, we grabbed your gladius for you." He handed the sword back to me after he unlocked the door. "Try to hold onto it this time."

"Will do. Take me to the next smack down." He nodded and turned to lead me down the halls again. the gate dropped once more and I stepped into the Arena. The first thing I heard after the roar of the crowd died down was... twinkling?

"Well ladies and gentlebirds, here he is again! Sharky White, the Hero! He has a kill count of one and a defeat count of one as well! You know why he's here, so go ahead and just put your talons together for him!" Massive amounts of applause rang out from the stands. I sighed in boredom and looked across the stadium to my opponent. I couldn't believe my eyes.

Shut the Hell Up!

There, across the arena, was a gryffin dressed in a green hooded outfit complete with pale tights and sturdy brown boots. He walked on his back legs and had a large, well-crafted longsword that glowed with some sort of power, as well as a very strong-looking shield. The twinkling noise was a blue parasprite by his shoulder, shouting into his ear.

“Dear Celestia that’s awesome! I say we keep that sword when we kill him!”

“Now for the challenger! He has a defeat count of 47 and a kill count of 36! An up-and-coming hero rivalling Sharky himself, Rinku!” A bunch of angry twinkles started up. “Oh, and his parasprite Vain!” The crowd cheered for him almost as loud as they had cheered for me.

“Now, FIGHT!” The king shouted once again. I quickly took a defensive stance and started edging my way towards Rinku. The parasprite began shouting again.

“I already fucking know how to lock on to my opponent!” Rinku shouted angrily. The twinkling continued regardless. We kept slowly approaching each other carefully, making sure to not lower our guard. Then Rinku put his shield on his back. Seeing a potential opening, I rushed forward. Then Rinku was suddenly holding a boomerang.

“... Where the fuck did you pull that from?” Rinku seemed to think for a moment.

“You know what? I’m no--” More twinkling started up. “I already fucking know how to hit multiple targets with t-- You know what? Forget it! Catch!” He threw the boomerang at me and it flew with astounding speed. I leapt over it as it came to me and ducked as it came back again. An arrow suddenly imbedded itself in one of the leather flaps on my armor.

“Whoa! ... Why is this arrow bee--”

*BOOM* The arrow exploded right after I noticed it. I flew back about twenty feet and landed, winded and burned.

“Well, I guess I have to give you props for recommending the bomb arrow Vain. Yes, I know. Yes I should li-- Oh dear Celestia! Shut the hell up! I already know how to perform a finishing strike dammit! Kyaaa!” I rolled to the side quickly. Rinku landed where I had been only moments ago, plunging his sword into the ground. I jumped to my feet and kicked him away from the sword.

“Nice try, but nothing will stand in my way!” I shouted. I grabbed the hilt of his sword and yanked it out of the ground. He looked afraid for a moment as he slid to a stop from my kick. I threw it along the ground to him. “I also don’t fight unarmed opponents though, so here.” He grabbed the sword with a confused look and sprang back to his paws.

“Well, that’s honorable, but stupid! Luckily I don’t have the same limits!” Suddenly he had a grappling hook on one of his talons. It shot forward, aiming for my gladius. I lifted my arm slightly and the chain shot by harmlessly. I quickly grabbed it with my left hand and Rinku shot towards me as the chain retracted.

“Then I guess you need to be taught a lesson.” I muttered as he flew towards me. He hefted his sword and aimed it at me as he flew. A bunch of tinkling started up once more.

“He didn’t mean from you Vain!” Rinku shouted. I lifted the gladius and held it at an angle to block his strike. His sword sliced clean through my inferior weapon and into my chest. Luckily it was only about an inch or two into me, so it was only--

“OH GOD THE PAIN!” I punched Rinku in the face with the now useless hilt of the gladius, throwing him back and dislodging his weapon from my chest. Blood poured out of my new wound freely, adding to the small rivers now running out of my body from my shoulder. I clapped my left hand over the wound, trying to stop the blood flow. I swung the now useless blade around in pain, then I heard a little slicing sound. I looked around in confusion until I saw two halves of a parasprite next to my feet.

“Sweet Celestia...” I heard Rinku murmur. “... I’m free! Oh thank Celestia, I’m free!” He pulled two bottles out of nowhere. “Thank you so much! Here, it’s not safe to continue the fight in your condition, take this!” He tossed me one of the bottles. It had a little ball of light inside it. “Consider it a thanks for freeing me!” I smiled.

“Thanks, but I think I’ll save it for later!” The bottle vanished from my hand. I blinked confusedly. As soon as I thought about the bottle again, it appeared in my hands. “Oh, so that’s how his equipment works!” I willed the bottle to vanish again, and it disappeared.

“Suit yourself! Let’s finish this!” Rinku blasted himself towards me with a flap of his wings. He raised his sword for a horizontal slash. I ducked as he approached, causing him to slide his sword on the top of my helmet. I came up with an uppercut right into his gut as the sliver of metal he had cut off my helmet fell to the ground. He flew straight up into the barrier and was flung right back down. I stepped slightly to the left and roundhouse kicked him to the side as he fell. He flew about 6 feet before he landed.

“Thundraga!” I yelled as I pointed at him. He happened to roll to his paws as the lightning bolt fell, just barely dodging it.

“What the hell was that?!” He shouted.

“Thundraga!” This time Rinku raised his sword up and the bolt struck it, causing the sword to crackle with electric energy. “We’re fucked.” With a swing of his sword, Rinku sent a huge disc of lightning at me. It was moving too fast to possibly dodge, so I did the only thing I knew to do in the situation. I swung with my broken gladius and hit the disc as it approached me, sending it flying back to Rinku.

“What the buck?!” Rinku shouted as the disc flew into him. He managed to block it with his shield, but the impact threw his talon back, leaving him wide open and shocking him a little as the electricity ran through his metal shield. I ran over and repeatedly punched him in the face, careful to avoid breaking his beak. Since he was off guard I managed to pin him on the ground and beat him wildly. “S-stop! I surrender!” He shouted. I jumped back. I turned to the king to see his judgement. He gave me a thumbs up, much to my relief.

“Whew, good fight Rinku!” I smiled to him as the crowd went nuts once more and held out a hand. He grabbed it with a smile of his own.

“Yeah, it’s been quite some time since I’ve had to fight like that...”

“Heh, me too. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’mma get back to my cell and try and keep my chest from bleeding out.” Rinku seemed to just now notice the increasingly large flow of blood from the stab wound on my chest.

“Oh... sorry.” I tapped him on the cheek where I had just been beating him and he flinched as he hissed in pain.

“We’ll call it even. Now, I really need to go so I can rest before I crush my next opponent.” Rinku frowned.

“What makes you so confident that you can crush an opponent in your current state?” I grinned.

“Isn’t it obvious? I ain’t even trying yet. Duh. We had a sword the whole time you know. We coulda just killed you right off the bat without all the theatrics.” Rinku’s jaw dropped. “C’ya later!” I turned and walked back to my gate and was escorted to my cell once more. I sat down in the cell and the guards didn't even bother to lock the door this time. I guessed they knew I wasn't going to bother to run away. Then I had a thought. "Hey, can I get a guard!?" There was some tapping from down the hall and a guard appeared in front of my cell.

"Yes hero? Did you need something?" The guard asked readily. He looked eager to help.

"Uh, yeah. Why did Rinku have all that equipment? I thought contestants were supposed to be stripped of all possessions and dignity."

"Well you see, Rinku is a paid warrior. He gets to keep his things. You are considered a prisoner. Prisoners are sent here to die horribly. In theory they can win their freedom if they are victorious for ten straight rounds, but nopony has ever succeded."

"Well why am I being treated like a prisoner?"

"The king wants you to prove yourself a hero. If you can beat the arena as a prisoner, even he'll have to respect you."

"So I'm expected to do something that isn't theoretically possible?"

"Well... to be honest it has been done once before..." The gryffin seemed to finally notice the blood running down my chest. "Uhh... you do know you can get bandages, right?"

"I... I can? No wait, don't distract me. Who won the Arena before?"

"Isn't it obvious? The king did! ... Let me request some bandages for you." The gryffin walked slightly out into the hallway as my jaw dropped in surprise. Then I closed my mouth as I realized it actually wasn't that surprising. "Hey! You! This prisoner requires bandages! Fetch some!" There was more tapping down the hall as another guard left to get bandages. The gryffin returned to me.

"So, that's why the king wants me to win this way, huh? To prove that I'm at least as strong as him?" The guard shrugged.

"I guess so. Well, if that's all you needed, I have duties to return to. The other guard shall return with your bandages soon enough. Farewell." The gryffin turned and left, once again leaving me alone. I started applying pressure to my wound on my chest again. I was sure that it didn't really matter, but I figured it was better to keep as much blood in my body as I could rather than idly sit by as it flowed away. In a matter of minutes, another guard came stumbling into my cell. He was blushing through his feathers as he handed me a white roll.

"There you go hero need anything else!?" He blurted without pausing inbetween the words. I had to struggle to not groan. I could tell from his elated expression that he was a fan. I shook my head 'no' and he back out of the cell with an awkward series of bows. I sighed loudly.

"Why. Just... why." I muttered as I started wrapping the gauze bandage around myself. Because of the placement of my cuts, I was able to wrap the bandage around my shoulder and across my midsection to cover both injuries. I tied it around myself and left the rest of the roll in the corner of my cell. Making sure to place it in the opposite corner that Esmerelda had clopped in. I was left alone for nearly an hour, but before I could really relax, another set of guards appeared. "Fight time already?" I sighed. "Fuck yes! Bring on the next bitch!"

"Yes hero, time to fight once more. Don't worry, you only have three more fights after this." One of the guards offered, clearly trying to make me feel better with the knowledge that I still had four more fights today. I stood up exhaustedly and walked with the guards to the Arena once more. I stepped into the sun and the thunderous cheers of the crowd started up again. The king started his introduction once more.

"As you all know, this is the warrior trying to prove himself a hero, Sharky!" The crowd went nuts once more. I tapped my foot impatiently as the king waited for the audience to calm down. "His competition this time is no warrior, instead he shall face..." The king paused momentarily for dramatic effect. "Carnifax! Slayer of Champions!" The Arena gave a mighty shake and a huge square in the middle started to rise. The square gradually lifted out of the ground and was revealed to be the top of a cage. The cage was massive, each bar was thick as a small tree. "Get ready Sharky, this one is a killer!"

"Good, it's hard for me to find decent competiton these days!" I shouted back challengingly. The top of the cage's occupant came into view as I shouted. I gasped a little in disbelief as the cage rose all the way out of the ground. Inside the cage was a massive crab, rivalling an Ursa Minor in size. The cage door fell away and the crab stepped out of the cage with an eager series of claw snaps. I backed up nervously as I realized that nopony had even given me a gladius for this fight. Then I heard a shrill whistle.

"... What is that?" The king boomed. Apparently I wasn't the only one hearing it.

"Look up dumbass!" I looked up and I could see a small dot beside the sun. I shielded my eyes and looked back down to see that the crab was approaching me. I backed up nervously even further as I immediately started recalling every single thing I knew about crabs, which seeing as how I was going to become a marine biologist, was a lot. Then the crowd started muttering and pointing up as the whistle only grew more shrill and louder. Then, when it seemed that the whistle couldn't get any more annoying...

*BOOM* The crab's head suddenly erupted and a shower of meaty bits covered me and the floor of the arena. Something had just crashed into Carnifax. The king looked furious.

"What is the meaning of this?!" He seethed. A deep voice boomed out from inside the crab.

"Ain't it obvious? I'd like to take this thing's place as a challenger for Sharky!" The voice sounded oddly familiar and cheerful.

"What makes you think you have such a right?!" The king shouted.

"Well, partially the fact that I just killed your previous competitor..." The source of the voice leapt out of the crab. I gasped as I realized who it was. The large hammer and black armor made it all too obvious. "Partially because I've been wanting to spar with the REAL Sharky for some time..."

Steel Boulder was my next opponent.

Unyielding Steel

“What the... Steel? What the heck are you doing here?!” Steel started waving excitedly.

“HAI.”

“... Hi... What are you doing here?”

“I already said it! I’m here to fight you! I’mma grind you into dust and use your bones to make bread! Fee fi fo fum motherbucker!!”

“Are you... are you feeling ok?”

“Right as rain! ... Wait a minute, you’re not armed...” Steel casually tossed his hammer over his shoulder. Then I realized that he had been standing on his back legs and wielding it with his forelegs.

“Were you just... standing like a human?”

“I was.” Steel continued to stare at me blankly.

“... Whyyyyyyy?”

“Well you do it! I’m basically out of a job because you kill bucking everything! So I thought I’d try fighting like you!”

“How’s that working out for you?”

“It’s terri-bad.”

“... I’m sorry.”

“Eh, no big deal. I’ll just have to beat you and prove that I’m just as capable of defending Equestria as you!”

“... We gonna fight now? I think the crowd is getting bored.” The entire stadium was silent, but as I looked around I realized there were more dropped jaws than bored stares.

“Oh yeah, let’s go!” Steel stretched out his massive wings and took off towards me with a small boom. I crossed my arms defensively as he rushed at me, causing him to collide with my arms rather than my face. I slid back from the sheer force of the impact without shifting my footing.

“Alright, just remember that you brought this on yourself!” I flung my arms outward with him still pushing on them, flinging him away from me. He backflipped in mid-air and landed on his hooves, and impressive display of acrobatics. Between me backing away from the crab and Steel’s push, I now had my back to the wall of the Arena. Steel started pacing slowly to the left, and I mimicked his movements. We began to make a small circle as I mentally assessed him.

Let’s see... He’s got the most impressive muscle mass of anypony I’ve encountered other than the king. I’m willing to bet I’m still stronger than him though... I saw the carcass of the crab out of the corner of my eye suddenly. ... Best not to put money on that though. I know for sure that I’ve got weight on him, him being a pegasus and smaller than me. Odds are he has complicated strategies and tactics up his sleeve since he’s a ca-- Steel darted at me again. I was a bit startled by his sudden movement.

“I’mma smash ya!” Steel shouted. So much for tactics. He caught me off guard and landed a solid punch on my jaw. I stumbled back a few feet as Steel fell to the ground. I grabbed my chin and rolled my jaw painfully. Luckily he didn’t seem to have broken anything.

“Alright then, brute force smash-down it is...” I muttered with a pang of anger in my voice. I took a cautious step back and hit the wall of the Arena once more. Then I had an idea. I turned and jumped, twisting in mid-air just enough to drop kick the wall. I blasted away from the side of the Arena and right into Steel’s chest. He was thrown away by the impact, but once again he righted himself in the air and landed easily.

“C’mon guy, surely you can hit harder than that!” He laughed, totally unphased. I grinned at him. He hadn’t realized where I had knocked him back to. I sprinted towards him and he quickly threw up a block for an oncoming blow. I dropped to the ground and slid towards him, kicking him into the open crab cage by hitting him right below his block. I stepped into the cage with him and pulled the cage door into place, locking us in. “What? Why the hell would you lock us both in here?!”

“Less room for you to maneuver in. Duh.” Steel facehoofed.

“Of course. Well, less room for you too! Now I’mma crush ya!” He ran at me this time, clearly not backing down on his head-on attack style. It was a smart combat style for somepony as physically strong as him... Were he not fighting me. He raised a hefty forehoof and reared back to punch me again as he flew. I braced my arm and caught his hoof as he came at me. The sheer impact from the clash sent out a small shockwave, causing me to shudder. I clamped my hand down on his hoof, holding him still.

“You may want to rethink that berserker battle style.” I jeered as my other hand flew forward and hit him in the face. I released my grip on him at the same moment I punched, allowing him to be flung back with the blow. He slammed into the cage bars and fell to the ground.

*SNAP* I gasped in horror for a moment. I hadn’t meant to break him. Then he leapt back to his hooves with a huge smile on his face.

“I’ve been trying to pop my back like that for ages! Now, since I’ve seen what you can do, let me show you what I can do!” Suddenly Steel was in front of me. I hadn’t even seen him move. He struck me in the chest and I flew back to the bars as well, smacking against them soundly. He was suddenly by me again, and he started punching me rapidly as I leaned against the bars. Each blow sounded like a rock hitting another rock, and the bars began to bend against my back. After a few solid blows to my head, I could feel my grip on reality slipping slightly, and I decided to let it go. I decided it was someone else’s turn to fight...

“Alright, that’s it!” Steven slammed his fists into Steel’s midsection as he gained control of the body. Steel flew away and slammed into the bars on the other end of the cage. He recovered almost instantly and vanished again. Expecting the move after he had seen Sharky get caught off guard, Steven punched forward.

“Gah!” Steel was knocked out of the air in front of him and into the floor of the cage, cracking it. Steven kicked Steel as hard as his super-powered body would let him. Steel rocketed off the ground and clear through the steel bars of the cage. Steven ran forward and leapt through the hole Steel had made. After landing solidly, Steven turned and ripped one of the unbroken bars out of the cage and brandished it offensively.

“Sweet god I’ve been wanting to crush something! It’s not often somepony manages to disable my host! Now, I’mma have to fuck your shit up!” Steven started to stride towards Steel. Steel scrambled to his feet with a groan as the crowd mumbled in confusion. He frowned at the steel bar in Steven’s hands.

“Sharky? You wouldn’t use a weapon on an unarmed opponent...”

“Sharky ain’t here bitch! It’s just you and me!” Steven had gotten within range, and he swung at Steel. The bar made a solid contact against Steel’s head, but rather than sending Steel flying, the metal bent to make an outline of his skull.

“... OW!” Steel shouted. Steven pulled the bar away from his opponent’s head with a snort.

“Guess I’mma have to do this job by hand after all!” Steel disappeared again, leaving only an afterimage of himself behind. “Damn you’re faster than you look!” Steven struggled to understand how his massively muscled opponent was moving so quickly, but was interrupted by a massive blow to his back.

“Of course I am! I’m not captain for nothing!” Steel laughed as Steven fell forward. Steel flipped into a dive and slammed into Steven’s back, cracking the ground beneath him and creating a small crater. Steven jumped up easily, seemingly unaffected by the blow. His bandages were turning increasingly red from the fresh flow of blood provoked by the fight. “I’m your superior! Just give up!” Steel jeered as Steven turned to face him once more.

“Superior? As in boss? And you think this gives you power over ME?! That’s fucking it! Prepare all available orifices!”

“... What?”

“Cuz your body will never heal from the impending fight-rape!”

“... You’re going to rape me?” Steven facepalmed.

“No, it means I’m going to beat the shit out of y-- FORGET IT!” Steven sprinted forward and Steel vanished again. Steven struggled to think of a way to locate him, but he couldn’t think of a way. He took another blow from the side and scowled horribly.

"You aren't doing a very good job of it!" Steel taunted. Steven leapt up from where he had fallen and dashed to the unprepared Steel. He managed to land a solid punch on Steel, plowing him into the ground. He took the oppritunity to land a flurry of punches on Steel's face before Steel managed to stagger away. Steel scowled and spat out a wad of blood.

"Awww, you get a boo boo? Wanna cry about it, or can I continue beating you?" Steel let out a rage-filled snarl and vanished again. Steven braced himself, but he was still caught off guard by a huge flurry of blows from all sides. In a matter of mere seconds, Steel became visible again as he slowed down. He obviously couldn't maintain his massive rushing speed for very long, but there wasn't much stopping him from just starting the dash all over again.

"I will destroy you!" Steven lashed out at the slowing Steel with a mule kick, sending him flying away once more. Steven, realizing that he wasn’t... thinky enough to beat Steel, released the body and returned Sharky to control.

“Aww, Steven didn’t beat you?” I asked as I regained consciousness and saw Steel standing across from me. He looked slightly winded and battered, but it was obvious he wasn’t defeated yet.

“Just fight and quit with the weird flank mind tricks!” Steel shouted angrily. He vanished again and I thought for a moment on how to know where he was. I sat down cross-legged and closed my eyes. Steel reappeared a few yards to my right. “... What the hell are you doing now?!”

“Nothing...” I lied. I could hear Steel growl angrily.

“Quit messing with me!!!” I heard a small noise as Steel vanished again. I kept up my blind search until I found what I was looking for. On my right, I felt a rush of magic while focusing on my void. I lashed out like a snake and grabbed Steel by the throat. He let out a surprised gurgle as I clamped down on his throat.

“Gotcha!” I cheered victoriously. “Why the fuck didn’t I think of that?” I reared back with Steel in my hand and punched him into the ground, creating another small crater. “Do you surrender?” I asked patiently as he struggle to kick me. Unfortunately for him, my arm was longer than his legs and he was unable to strike me.

“N-never!” I punched him across the face.

“Remember, you asked for this fight. I’d really not like to have to hurt you more, just give up.”

“No!” I punched him again, harder this time. His expression remained defiant. I sighed and picked him up, making sure to keep him at arm’s length.

“Please surrender Steel. I won’t give you another chance.”

“I won’t be defeated!” I sighed and stopped as I reached a wall of the Arena. I reared back and punched Steel into the wall of the Arena. Repeatedly. I kept punching and punching, breaking the wall to the point that there was a crater in it that could fit Steel’s entire body. He hung limply in my hand as I came to a stop, barely conscious.

“I’m sorry, friend.” I tossed Steel behind me and pointed at him as he struggled to stand. “Thundraga.” A bolt of lightning arched through the air and struck Steel, causing him to go limp and stop moving. I walked over to him with concern, but his chest still moved with ragged breaths. With a relieved gasp, I stood and turned to walk to my gate as the crowd erupted into massive cheers. I looked at them and noticed that for some strange reason many of them were dressed in all white, and some in all black. I shrugged and continued walking.

“Hero! I have not even passed judgement yet!” The king roared. I laughed openly.

“He’s my friend. Not killing him, so your judgement is irrelevant. Now, I suggest you find me an opponent even stronger than Steel, ‘cause he’s the closest thing to an actual fight I’ve had so far!” I walked out without another word, ignoring the angry retaliation from the king and the roaring of the crowd at my challenge. I was escorted to my cell yet again and I sat there patiently, rubbing my jaw and back. I winced a few times as I touched the now sensetive skin. It wasn't anything I couldn't deal with though. A guard showed up at my cell door only minutes after I sat down.

"Hey, hero." The guard spoke softly. I looked up at him.

"Hey. Is it time for lunch or something? I could use a new bandage as well if you don't mind."

"Actually, it's time for your next fight."

"What?! I just finished my last one!"

"Word of advice... Next time, don't insult the king on the way out."

"... Fuck."

Steamroll

The guard offered me another gladius as I stood up. I grabbed it reluctantly and followed him outside of my cell and back to the Arena gate once more. I strode into the field as the gate fell, ignoring the cries of the crowd. I looked to the king; a smug smile was plastered on his face. He waved a talon towards the crowd in a futile effort to quiet them down. They quieted slightly, but the king grew increasingly angry as the dull roar failed to cease. Since he hadn’t tried to quiet the crowd before this, I figured his announcement was important and I raised my hands as if about to speak as well. In a matter of seconds, the noise in the stands halted and they locked their gazes on me. I shuddered a little as the king turned his angry gaze to me. He clearly didn’t like that fact that his subjects listened to me more than him.

“Greetings again, hero!” He boomed out, his voice filling the now silent stadium.

“Well met, king. Tell me, are your fights so pitifully short that you must request me again already?” The king scowled as a few chuckles broke out in the stands.

“No, you are summoned once more to suffer! Those who insult the king get no rest, no solace, no safety!”

“Hmm? Insult you? I made a recommendation that the strength of my opponents be increased. Obviously it’s not very entertaining when I crush my opponents with little to no effort.”

“By saying that my challenges are not adequate, you have insulted my honor. Therefore, I have no choice but to take away what little rest you get between rounds, and give you a much more fearsome opponent.”

“How fearsome we talkin’ here? I like killing shit, but you know... don’t wanna die...”

“Heh heh, you shall see, Sharky. Bring out Sharic!” I stumbled as a thunderous quaking started in the Arena. There was a fizzling noise and a flash of light as the magic gravity barrier suddenly became visible over my head and rose to the bottom of the stands, barely below the spectators. It vanished again and a whole side wall of the Arena burst open with a crash and a monstrous roar.

“What the hell?!” I had no idea that the Arena was capable of such self-alteration. What scared me more though, was that it needed to do this to accommodate my opponent. I crouched down readily, preparing myself for whatever horrible abomination was going to appear from the dust cloud that had formed at the broken wall.

“I love you~”

My jaw dropped as the thunderous growl erupted from the dust, blowing enough of it away to reveal a giant, purple maw.

“To death!” The rest of the dust was blown away by a swipe of a gargantuan purple tail with green spikes lining it. I was confronted by a dinosaur-like beast of titanic proportions, its head brushed the magic barrier. It had jagged, sharp spikes that formed from the scales on its face, elbows, hind leg joints, and along its neck. The pale scales along the beast’s belly were formed in the same pattern as human abdominal muscles, giving it a muscular and relatively intimidating appearance. Each of the monster’s fangs were like gleaming white swords, and his expression dripped with malice... and his mouth dripped saliva.

“... BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!” I rolled on my back laughing, the creature reminding me of a harmless dino from my childhood. The king balked in confusion.

“Y-you laugh in the face of such a creature?!” The king exclaimed in surprise. “You are a fool to think this shall be an easy fight!” I tossed him a wicked grin as I leapt back to my feet.

“On the contrary your highness, I’ve just been waiting a looooong time to get a crack at this guy! I think it’s about time I showed you exactly what I can do!” I twisted my neck to the side to unleash a series of cracks as the monster started lumbering towards me. Without bothering to even throw up a defense, I started cracking my arms with a few languid stretches. The ground shook with thunderous power as the beast stepped towards me. The beast leaned down to scoop me up in his jaws...

And I let him.

I planted my feet in the spaces between his massive fangs on the bottom of his mouth and grabbed a fang on the top of his mouth as well. I held his mouth open forcefully as he attempted to bite down, causing him to howl as my braced legs forced his teeth to spread apart slightly. I leaned forward and stabbed the gladius into the roof of his mouth with my free hand.The monster wailed, opening its massive maw and flinging me out in a huge pool of blood and drool.

“... This is so gross.” I hacked in disgust. I wiped as much of the dark red blood off of my body as I could before the enraged dinosaur relocated me. Red rivers flowed from Sharic’s mouth, and he charged at me angrily. Each thunderous step brought him closer to me with the speed of a train. I had a sudden idea. I raised my gladius quickly and flinched as the stab wound on my back gave me some grief.

“I will kill your whole family!” Sharic boomed. I switched hands quickly and raised my gladius.

“Thundraga!” I shouted. Lightning struck my blade, causing it to crackle with energy. The energy stopped at the hilt of the weapon, but was still awesome as fuck. I braced myself as Sharic came bounding the last few step towards me. I leapt as high as I could off the ground and plunged the gladius into his chest. The lightning seemed to reach out and split the scales apart for the weapon to plunge into Sharic’s soft flesh. The lightning coursed into his body with a crackle and I heard some popping and sizzling inside of him. With a titanic roar, he started to fall forward. I panicked as I realized his dying body was about to crush me.

“What?! Impossible!” The king raged as I started frantically slicing into the monster’s chest. Blood flowed out furiously as I plunged my hands into the gash and pried it even further open. Sharic screeched painfully as I ripped my way into his chest. I closed my eyes and leapt into the gash right as the titanic dinosaur slammed into the ground. I was enveloped in blood and unable to breath. I could only struggle upwards through the warm insides of the beast, bumping into I don’t know what and trying not to vomit. I hit a wall and started slashing once more.

*GASP* I broke through the skin of the beast and heaved in as much air as I could. Blood and assorted bits of flesh and scales clung to my body, my bandage and battle skirt were ruined. I ripped the bandage from my body in hopes of getting rid of Sharic’s blood before it had much of a chance to seep into my wounds.

“That was metal as fuck! That was disgusting beyond belief!” I shouted as soon as I could breath easily. The crowd erupted into massive cheers, easily dwarfing any previous cheers. The king, knowing it would be impossible to settle them down now, simply waved me towards my gate. I could have been wrong, but it almost seemed like he was trying to kill me with his eyes... a little. I climbed entirely out of Sharic with a shiver of disgust and started walking to the gate.

“T-that was amazing hero!” A gryffin guard shouted from the gate entrance. I frowned and wiped a bit of blood off my arms.

“I sure feel amazing. He didn’t have to die like that... That was horrible.”

“He deserved to die horribly! He tried to kill you!” The guard retorted. I stopped next to the guard and glared at him a little.

“He should have died and been left alone. Mutilating his body is too much. I don’t regret killing him, I regret the fact that I had to tear up his body.” I paused for a moment.

“... Why?” The gryffin asked simply.

“It just isn’t right. It’s disrespectful to an opponent. I just don’t like it.” The gyffin gave me an unsure stare.

“You’re a strange one hero... Most Arena fighters kill about half of their opponents, but you spared most and you seem to dislike killing this one... What makes you so merciful?”

“Mercy? Pfft, I kill the bad guys. I just don’t want to kill these fighters and beasts that are forced to fight. Now, could you please just show me to my cell? I would like some new bandages and something to clean myself with too if you don’t mind.” The gryffin leaped in mild surprise as if just realizing we were still at the gate of the Arena.

“Oh! Of course! Come with me.” We ventured once more into the twists and turns of the inside of the Arena. It occurred to me that if I wanted to, I could easily learn the path to the gate for myself, but I didn’t bother. The gryffin took me to a small room that was stocked full of bandages, medicines, rags, armor, weapons, foods, and firewood labeled ‘Body Disposal Units’. “Ah, they restocked recently...” He muttered. He grabbed a roll of bandages, a rag, and a leather battle skirt.

“Also, when’s lunch?” I asked with interest. I was pretty hungry after beating the crap out of my enemies. The gryffin handed me the skirt and started scrubbing the blood off of me with the rag.

“It should arrive at your cell shortly after I take you back to it. Assuming the king doesn’t decide to make you fight instead...”

“You think he’d do that?”

“You basically crushed some of his best warriors without breaking a sweat, then challenged the competence of his challenges, then crushed his higher level challenge in about half a minute. He’s a little pissed.”

“Huh. Well... You think I should fake the next battle and make it look harder? Will that make him happy?”

“Knowing him, you might have to struggle to survive the next battle. He doesn’t take insults very lightly.”

“I wasn’t trying to insult him!”

“I know, from what I can tell you’re really nice! He just gets mad when he’s not winning. Especially when he’s losing as bad as he is.”

“This is some sort of competition to him?”

“The Arena is a competition to him. He takes pride in being the only one to ever defeat it, and at the rate you’re going, that record won’t last long.”

“Well, then he’ll just have to go fuck himself deal because I’m not going to lose.” I stated firmly. Then it occurred to me that I was doing all of this to get permission to protect Gilda. I was doing it for a friend, but the king had made it personal. “... Wow. You know what? If he wants a competition, he’s got one. From now on, I’m not gonna hold back on these opponents. Not anymore. Oh damn, shit’s bout to get real! Hey, watch the talons there Mr. Queer!” I backed away slightly when the guard’s talon started moving up my inner thigh. The gryffin gave me a strange stare.

“... I’m a Ms. thank you very much!” She shouted. I could feel my eyes widen in both surprise and confusion. I didn’t recall saying anything about... her... gender, but I was still surprised to learn the guard was a girl.

“Uhh... That’s nice? Well... miss, if you could try not to touch me in that general area please, I’d appreciate it.”

“Why? I’m just doing my job.” She said with a coy smile. I frowned in confusion. I didn’t understand why she would smile like that if she were just doing her job.

“Well, that’s nice and all, but... I can just clean myself.” The gryffin snorted and tossed me the rag. I could see a small flicker of disappointment cross her face.

“Whatever, I like the Monster better anyway.” She mumbled. She left the room quickly and I followed after her. Sure enough, she led me back to my cell. I sat down in it and she left without a word. I quickly wiped as much of the blood and saliva off of my body as I could and changed my leather skirt. I wrapped the fresh bandage around my chest and sighed.

“Well, at least I know this is over half-way through.” I muttered. I had been through six fights, only four more to go. In mere minutes, I was brought more bread, fish, and water by a silent guard. I nodded a thanks to him... or her and he/she left. I ate the food ravenously, eager to finish it before I was summoned again. In under a minute, I finished the food.

Then I sat and waited for hours.

“Alright, what gives?!” I shouted impatiently. The king was mad, wasn’t he supposed to call me back with little to no wait? I sighed and reclined back against my cell wall. Another guard showed up with another tray of food. “Hey! It’s dinner already? Why haven’t I been called back to fight?” The guard jumped as I shouted suddenly, spilling the water all over the bread.

“E-each fighter only has five fights a day sir!” The gyffin dropped the tray entirely and stood at attention with a salute. I struggled to not laugh.

“At ease soldier. So then I guess now it’s almost time for...”

“Sir yes sir!”

“Crap... Well, I’m sure I can just talk whoever it is out of sex.”

“It’s 16 whoevers sir!”

“... I’m sorry, what?”

“You had so many bidders that the king decided to split your night into 16 parts! Each for one of the highest bidders!”

“... Shit. FUCK YES”

Bidders Part 1

“Just... just send me the first one I suppose...” I sighed eventually.

“Sir, yes sir!” The guard finally dropped his salute and left. A few minutes later, a small mare, slightly shorter than the girls, trotted in. She was wearing a full latex body suit with holes on her face, flanks, and I assumed her more private areas, but I couldn’t actually see. From the holes on her flanks I could see a ruler cutie mark and a blue coat. From the hole over her face I could see a few hairs from her yellow mane above her eyes.

“Hello Hero.” The mare said in a sultry tone as she entered the cell.

“Uhhh.... hello. Sooo, I know why you’re here, but please don’t.” I warned. The guards hadn’t decided to chain me yet, so I was prepared to use force to preserve myself.

“Don’t what? What could a weak and defenseless little mare like me do to a big strong hero like yourself?” She said in a long drawn out way as she removed her saddlebags

“Well, you’re a unicorn... so a lot actually. Just don’t try it. Maybe you can get a refund or something.”

“Oh, I don’t think that will be necessary.” She stated as she levitated chains out of her bag. She began wrapping them around the cell door, locking the two of us inside. I swallowed nervously.

“Look Ms... Uhh, what’s your name?”

“No names, a naughty pony like me doesn’t deserve one.” She stated as she removed a whip and paddle from her bag. "As a matter of fact, I don't deserve to call you 'Hero'. How's 'Master' work?"

“... I’m sorry, what? Why do you... What’s going on?”

“I’m a bad, bad mare and I need to be punished.” She whispered as she winked at me.

“... Ok, then you should report yourself to the proper authorities?”

“Not that kind of bad sweetie, the fun kind.”

“... There isn’t a fun kind of bad... There’s good and bad, no differentiation between kinds.”

“Oh my, are you green?”

“... What’s green? Do I look sick or something?”

“Wrong kind of green, but I think you are. No matter, I will just have to be a little forceful..." She murmured to herself as she levitated the paddle into my hand.

“... What the hell are you talking about?”

“This my big strong hero.” She forced my hand shut and magic enveloped my entire arm. I suddenly began uncontrollably spanking the tiny mare. Using all of my strength in my arm, I managed to get it to stop moving. My physical power was more than the mare thought.

“Oh no you don’t.” She said, doubling her efforts, but achieving nothing.

“What the hell just happened?! Are you ok?!” I shouted, startled by her sudden beating. Luckily it had been her magic beating her and not my actual strength. She could have been seriously hurt.

“No, I’m not, now spank me!”

“... Uhh... No?”

“You made me do this!” She said as her horn began to glow dark blue. Then I smacked her suddenly, causing her to squeal loudly and her horn to flicker. “D-Don’t stop!” With her magic cancelled for a moment, I stretched forward quickly and grabbed her horn. “A-are you trying to stop my magic? You do know this doesn’t stop magic right? You have to have rings around horns to stop magic..." She explained as her horn glowed dark blue again. I nodded.

“Nnope, but I'm hoping this will.” As soon as the horn started glowing, I flicked it. The glow flickered and went out. With her magic safely under my control, I dropped the paddle and reached my other hand around her to clamp my hand over her mouth. She tried talking at first but ended up just spitting all over my hand. It was kind of gross.

*Nom*

She bit my hand, and I laughed at her tiny attempts to get me to let her go. She probably hurt her teeth on my stone-like skin. After she realised biting my hand wouldn't work she began flailing around, making it a little awkward to keep my balance. I held on though, managing to keep her under control. She kept flailing for a while and even went back to biting my hand. Eventually I think she may have left a tiny bruise, but before I had any time to really consider the bruise, she started trying to do something with her horn again. Rather, I could feel something, but the horn wasn't glowing. I flicked it anyway to be safe. After that she just stopped trying anything, no flailing, no biting, no more confusing paddle talk. A little while later, a guard came back. I released the mare quickly and gave her a light push towards the door.

“Looks like your time’s up sweetie. I’m so sorry, but I told you, you should have gotten a refund.” She trotted out of the cell almost happily.

“Don’t worry, and guard, I would like to stay for the next bidder’s time, if that’s alright with them.” She says with a mischievous grin. The guard frowned.

“Uhhh, I’d much prefer she didn’t stay if you don’t mind...” I interjected.

“Is it wrong for me to watch? After all, we talked in line, I think she would enjoy that very much.”

“Fine, we’ll ask her.” The guard stated simply. He left to escort the next girl in and ask the question, leaving me alone with the strange mare. She was staring at me intently, her smile getting a bit creepier as time passed. Eventually the guard returned.

“She’ll allow it.” He stated in a deadpan voice, opening the gate for my next 'visitor'.

“Damn it.”

“Told ya she would.” The mare replied in a giddy tone as the gryffin walked in.

“Oh yeah, the more the merrier, hey guard, wanna join in too?” The guard scoffed lightly and left. “What a prude, wouldn’t ya say hero?” The gryffin said in a strange tone.

“... Wow, you’re even stranger tha-” The mare’s horn lit up and I was slammed against the back of the cell. “... Ouch?”

“Not meant to hurt you darling, only to help you enjoy the show..." The mare said as the gryffin started to turn around. As a reflex, I simply closed my eyes.

“Ah ah ah.” The mare said, forcing my eyes open. I struggled against the magic and managed to turn my head away from whatever the gryffin was doing.

“Alright, I don’t even know what’s going on, but I can tell you it isn’t good for me.” I concluded with a bit of strain in my voice. It wasn’t exactly easy to beat the unicorn’s magic using only my neck muscles. As I turned my head the gryffin just got closer, making it harder not to look.

“Come on hero, enjoy the show.” The gryffin said teasingly. Remembering that my arms were stronger than the unicorn, I simply forced my hands up and covered my eyes. As I tried to ignore whatever she was doing my leg began to get wet. I used all my focus to not think about what could be going on, even as the movement on my leg quickened. Soon I could hear her moaning, so I moved my thumbs to plug my ears as well, japanese bomber style. With my plan working she moved onto something a bit weirder, and she began to kiss and nip my neck.

“Alright! That’s it! I tried taking the civilized path, but now you’ve forced my hand!” I shouted suddenly. I forced my hand forward and grabbed at where I assumed the girl’s torso was. I pushed her away from me without letting her go. I opened my eyes cautiously.

“Why do you keep resisting?! Most men would love this! Mares litterally paying just to be with them! The gryffin shouted in annoyance as I held her in the air.

“Because I’m not like that! I don't just... have sex randomly. Or really engage in stuff like this. I’m only here to help my friend. I didn’t ask for this.”

“... Buck this, I’m getting a refund.” I dropped her unceremoniously onto the ground with a sigh of relief.

“Thank God. Please, go now.”

“I may be getting a refund, but I will just tell the girls next to be rougher with you...” She said before walking away with the unicorn in tow as they giggled.

“They can be rough all they want, just don’t expect to get anything from me.” I muttered to the now empty room. Another guard showed up soon, escorting a light pink mare with a white mane in a big dress to my cell door.

“Here you go miss.” The guard announced gruffly as the mare stepped into the cell.

“H-Hello hero.” She stuttered almost in a whisper.

“You ok?” I asked with a bit of worry in my voice. She seemed almost scared to be here.

“O-Oh I’m fine, it’s just some of the others were a bit..." She paused, looking for the right word.

“Mean?”

“Yes, some even threatened me to leave so she could have more time with you.” I scowled a bit.

“That’s terrible! Who was it? I’ll make sure to give her a talk for that...”

“A mare in spandex and a gryffin...” She said, looking down at her hooves.

“Oh, those two. Don’t worry, they’re gone now.” She sighed and I saw her lighten up a bit.

“W-What did you do?”

“I just sent them on their way without satisfaction. D-don’t think that means I’ll do any different for you, just know that I mean no offense by it.” She blushed heavily and slowly backed up towards the door of the cell. “You uhh... You wanna leave?” I asked carefully. I didn’t know what she had been thinking at the time, but it was obvious she shouldn’t have bid on me.

“N-No, i-it's just that I didn’t come for the same reasons they did.” She said as she cautiously walked toward me.

“Well then why did you come here?”

“W-Well, when you were in Canterlot I didn’t get a chance to talk to you, t-the crowd was too big.”

“Hmm... Canterlot... What crowd?”

“W-When you and you m-marefriend Rarity went there.”

“Oh for the love of... She’s not my marefriend.”

“B-But thats what you s-sa-”

“Oh yeah. I lied. I had to go find a kidnapped filly.”

“R-Really?!” She nearly screamed in excitement.

“... Yes. Well, it’s obvious that you shouldn’t have spent so much money just to see me. You should go get a refund before it’s too late.”

“N-No, I paid for time with you a-and I’m going to use it.” She said as she began walking towards me again.

“Well uhh, I don’t mean to be a jerk or anything, but I really would prefer you didn’t try anything funny.”

“I-I may be a bidder, but I’m not like them.” She stated more firmly as she wrapped her forelegs around me in a gentle embrace. I sat there for a moment, wary of any other moves she might makes. When it seemed like she wanted to do was cuddle, I decided it couldn’t hurt a wrapped my arm around her. Eventually, she broke the hug herself and laid down beside me.

“What’re you doing?”

“Spending my time with you.” She mumbled sweetly as she laid against me.

“Ok... if you really want to only do this... don’t you think this isn’t worth your money?”

“Would you let me do this otherwise?” She snuggled up against me. I thought briefly for a moment about the idea of some random mare walking up to me and asking to cuddle.

“Fair point I guess.” I admitted as I wrapped my arms around the mare again. I sighed and leaned back in relief at not having to fight this girl.

“So, how did you end up here? There are a lot of rumors going around.” The mare suddenly asked.

“I’m here to earn permission to protect the princess.” I stated simply.

“Permission? Why would you need permission to protect her?”

“The king doesn’t exactly have a ton of confidence in my abilities.”

“Oh, that is much better than what has been going around.”

“What has been going around?”

“T-That the king wants you dead after being caught with his daughter... romantically.”

“What? That’s ridiculous... I wasn’t with his daughter.”

“What? Now I’m confused.” She sighed, putting a hoof to the side of her head.

“I meant romantically speaking I wasn’t with her. She’s my friend, and the only time I’ve even been near her was when I saved her from some assassins.”

“Oh, so thats who you two killed...”

“What do you mean ‘two’?”

“The other prisoner who has been winning all of his matches, he even looks like you.” I frowned for a moment. A look-alike that’s winning? That couldn’t be good. I gasped.

“Oh god... The mirror must be back!”

“Mirror?”

“Is the other guy kinda shadowy and mean?”

“Well he eats his opponents and he can summon things, and he ripped apart a steel train with his bare hands.”

“Ohhhhh shit... He’s gotten stronger...”

“H-He even ate a sand minotaur...”

“Wow, hes gotten weirder too. Well, I’m stronger now too, I’m sure I can handle it.”

“Rumor has it he was sent here after incinerating guards and attacking the king, just be careful, ok hero?”

“Careful? Clearly you aren’t familiar with my battle style or personality.”

“Well he fights like Steel Boulder, only instead of a hammer he uses his chains as a weapon, and he can somehow heal, he never has any bandages on.”

“Eh, I’ve killed scarier. Let’s not talk about fighting anymore. I have to do that all time.”

“B-But what if he ea--” I placed a finger on the mare’s lips.

“Nnope. No more.”

“Fine, what do you want to talk about?”

“I want silence and relaxation before I’m forced to fight off horny bidders.”

“Oh, can you atleast just stroke my mane, pretty please?” I smiled at her and started stroking her mane soothingly. “Thank you hero.” She said before burying her muzzle in my side. I closed my eyes and l let my body rest little, other than the hand I kept petting her with. We stay like this for almost an hour in perfect silence, only to be interrupted.

“Times up.” A guard called from the cell door.

“Awww.” The mare and I whined at the same time.

“Well, thanks for letting me stay hero.” She pecked me on the cheek, “Bye!” I wave goodbye to her as she slowly trotted out of my cell.

“No problem, thanks for not raping me!”

“No problem!” She shouted back.

“Your next bidder is ready.” The guard stated before heading back to escort the next bidder to my cell. When he returned he was accompanied by a tall slender mare with a pale green coat, a matching mane tied up in a practical bun, and a test tube cutie mark.

“Well, hello miss.” I greeted cautiously, watching her closely for any quick movements.

“Hello there hero.”

“Soooo.... I suppose I can’t get away with just asking you nicely to leave?”

“No bucking way would I pass this opprotunity up big boy.” She said, undoing her hair bun, releasing her long flowing mane. It was kind of soft-looking and shiny. She must've taken good care of it.

“Huh. Nice mane.”

“If you like that you will love how it looks from behind.”

“... What?”

“You know what I’m talking about, now do you prefer top or bottom.” She said as she walked over to me.

“No no, back up, explain that mane comment?”

“I would rather you explain why you’re still wearing this!” She shouted as she grabbed my skirt in her teeth, before tearing it from my waist.

“Hmmm... Well... BYE!” I jumped up and ran to the other end of the cell quickly, desperate to avoid the horny mare.

“Oh no you don’t!” She shouted, jumping after me. I caught her in the air and held her above my head as I ran to get my skirt.

“How are you going to ignore me now?” She asked, spreading her legs and flicking her tail in my face. Easily able to ignore her due to my inability to smell her pheromones, I managed to pull my skirt back on and sit down in a corner with her held away from me.

“Because, human nose. That’s how.” She ignored me and started to move a hoof in a southern direction. Since this was only the third time this had happened near me in two days, I was pretty much unaffected. As I continued to hold her out at arms length, she began to moan and wiggle as I awkwardly looked away.

“Quit wiggling. It’s creepy!” She didn't say a thing as her hoof continued moving and her moans increased in volume. I dropped her harshly, interrupting her clopping.

“Ah! Enjoying the show? Maybe if you take off that skirt I can let you in on the fun.” The lust-crazed mare offered. I pushed her away with my foot in mild disgust.

“No thanks. I’m fine.”

“You sure? I think you would enjoy some ‘stimulation’.”

“Fuck. No.”

“You haven’t even given me a chance, not even one taste?” She askes, fake pouting. Recognizing the fake pout from a mile away, I ignored it. “Aww, but I even prepared for you tonight.”

“What?”

“This,” She looked down to her back right leg. There was a small remote there, and she removed it from its holder and tossed it to me.

“What the buck is this?”

“Press it and find out.” She winked at me.

“I’d prefer not to.”

“Scared? You’re such a foal..."

“You know it.”

“Then I will press i-ohhhhh.” She said as she hit the button. She fell to the ground, moaning and twitching. I immediately pulled the remote out of her reach and kept it away from the strange girl. As her moans continued she slowly got to her hooves, and although she was very shaky, she managed to look at me face to face.

“You hear that?” She asked in a husky tone.

“Hear what?”

“That noise, even you have to know what that is.” I listened as hard as I could, but couldn’t hear anything.

“Here, try listening now.” She said as she shoved her flank in my face. With a slight hiss of surprise, I quickly pushed her away from me, but not before hearing a light buzzing sound.

“W-what the heck is that?!” I screeched, not even sure if I wanted to know.

“Let me show you.” She said as she slowly brought her hoof to her marehood.

“No no! I’m not curious any more!” I shouted as I threw my hands up in front of my eyes.

“Too l- ahhhh, too late..." She said as various moans escaped the mare, but not before a loud buzzing noise filled the room, and something was tossed in my lap. I leapt to my feet, flinging the thing out of my lap without having to touch it.

“Don’t look, just don’t look...” I muttered to myself calmly. There was no fucking way this was happening.

“Oh you know you want to, look how wet I am for you hero, don’t you want to take this mare for a ride?”

“HELL NO!” I shouted, slight fear edging into my voice. Sanity clearly didn’t exist in my cell anymore.

“Just feel how hot I am for you, my big strong hero. . .” She said, rubbing her flank against my leg. I grabbed her again and held her out, this time holding her by her forelegs to prevent any funny business.

“Dear god, just stop!”

“Why should I, you know it would be so much easier if you just went with it! Come on hero, I’m sure I can just help you forget about all your problems.”

“Right now, you’re my only problem.”

“You just don’t know how to have fun, why not let me show you how to.” She said, trailing a hindhoof up my leg, nearing my skirt. Luckily that was as far as she could reach.

“How about no.”

“You don’t know what you’re missing hun.” She teased, her hoof rubbing gently against my inner thigh.

“Pretty sure I don’t want to know either.”

“You just haven’t done it yet, here, let me help you.” She said, stretching and bringing her hoof near my groin.

“He wants it! Do it now! I said no miss. Stop now.” Listening to Steven, she stretched further and went for the prize, managing to brush her hoof against my groin. Unfortunately for her, her legs were far too short to actually do anything.

“Half of you wants me, why resist?”

“What are you tal-- Oh, Steven. He wants to fuck everything with a marehood! I resist because I have girls back home that I need to think about.”

“Why not let Steven fuck me then? That way you can keep thinking about your girls.” She said with a smirk.

“Because giving him the body intentionally is impossible for me.”

“Then how can we give it to him otherwise?”

“You, little mare, would have to somehow knock me out.”

“Hmmmm, fine... My time is almost up and this is hurting my back, put me down.”

“What if I don’t feel like it?” I wondered out loud, slightly annoyed with the mare's attempts to order me around.

“Then I will just yell for the guards, how many times will women call the guards on you before they chain you up?” I grinned at her.

"You know, I'm actually starting to wonder if chains would matter to me..."

“They would hold you long enough for what I have planned, what do you think Steven, wanna rut me while he’s chained up?”

“If you can knock him out, hells yeah. Nah, my strength so far remains unknown at its fullest. I think I’d break chain before you could do anything.”

“But what would the king say if you hurt lil ole’ me?”

“I said I’d break chains, not you.”

“And I could say you were a threat.”

“I am a threat. Technically anything with the capability to kill you is a threat. Howev-”

“Guards! The prisoner is threatening me and is resisting!” She shouted.

“Bull shit!” A voice called back. I guessed the guards liked me more than I thought.

“Hey, get over here and restrain him! I paid for him to rut me and I’m going to have him inside me no matter what!”

“Fine!” The guard called back. He came to the cell and I saw that it was the ‘sir, yes sir’ one from earlier. He gave me an apologetic frown. “Sorry hero...”

“Now, chain him up and put a spreader bar on his legs.” I flinched. A spreader bar would be difficult to escape. I glared at the mare with barely restrained disdain as I allowed the guard to chain me up.

“Now remove his skirt, I haven’t gotten a good look at what I paid for yet.” The guard balked in disgust.

“Y-you do it! I’m out of here!”

“Oh don’t worry, I will.” She said with new found determination as she eyed her newly bound prey. Me. Then the faint smell of smoke and burnt flesh made itself known to me.

“Hey, you smell that?” I asked the mare.

“Don’t distract m- wait, what’s going on?!” She asked, looking around frantically, sniffing the air. I sniffed around a bit as well, but the smell was faint so I didn’t worry about a serious fire. The building was after all, made of stone. However, she didn’t take too well to the smell as she wasn’t looking so good.

“What’s the matter? Suddenly a gonna give up because of a little smoke?” I asked her teasingly as she looked increasingly unsure.

“No, its just something smells like a dead animal was set on fire.” She said, now breathing out of her mouth as she used a hoof to cover her nose. I laughed heavily.

“Oh, I know, I smell it. You gonna get sick? Go on, run home little mare!”

“Oh no, just because someone here likes it really dirty doesn’t mean I’m not getting you.” She said, taking my battle skirt in her mouth and looking up at me.

Then a guard showed up at the cell door.

“Hey! Time’s up!”

“Not before I do this!” She said, ripping off my battle skirt, leaving me naked and without dignity. Which had already been taken away anyway.

”There, you saw. Sucks for you that you don’t have any more time. Bye!” The guard stepped forward to grab the mare, and began dragging her out.

“But now you’re naked, chained up and spread wide, the next one’ll have her way with you!”

“It wasn’t you though! Ha ha, sucks for you doesn’t it?” The mare was dragged all the way out of my cell as I smiled at her delightfully.

“Oh, but now I can tell PlayMare magazine about your junk!”

“... Good for you?” I said as the insane mare was dragged away

“Your next bidder is here, be gentle with this one.” The next guard announced gruffly. He obviously wasn’t the same one as before.

“If she keeps her talons and or hooves to herself, I’ll play nice.” I promised.

“No, this next one is always a high bidder here, don’t do anything. . . Here she comes now.” The guard said as I heard the steps of a pony coming down the hall. After two minutes of waiting she finally reaches my cell, an older mare in a large dress.

“H-Hello deary.”

“I’mma rape ya bitch! Uhh, hello miss.”

“What’s with the voices sonny, if you want this ol’ gal so bad you can take her all night long.” She offered happily, shaking her hips at me.

“What? No! Ehm, I mean I’d prefer to not be involved in anything of a sexual nature.”

“Too bad for you! I’mma ride ya til I break both mah hips!” She said while shakily lowering the shoulder of her dress. As she slowly slipped out of her dress she removed her saddle bags as well, they hit the ground with a clunk.

“Uhhh, ma’am, I think I’m not exactly your type... Maybe you should find somepony half your age. That’s into older gals.”

“Oh don’t worry, for the first part you don’t gotta be ina me, I’m gonna be in you!” She said, digging through her saddlebags and exposing herself to me.

“I uhh... Ha ha ha ha... No.”

“No mare OR stallion has ever been able to handle Big Jim, but maaaaaaybe you can.” She says with a wink, strapping on something to her waist, just out of sight.

“Hell no. I’m warning you now lady, I wiI-” She turned around, revealing a extra large red strap on labeled ‘Big M’. In a brief moment of extreme terror, I twisted my left hand in the cuff and pointed at it.

“Thundraga!” The lightning flashed from my hand and struck the large thing, melting about 3/4ths of it off.

“Sorry sweety, rubber has a way of doing that, I got more!.” She said, removing her current model for another. “Ready for round two my little criminal!” She cried excitedly. She was now wearing a slightly smaller one, but this one was curved in a strange manner. I repeated my lightning strike, just as quickly as before, melting this one half down. “You’re trying my patience now whippersnapper. . . Oh what do we have here?” She says eyeing my groin.

“Nothing?” I asked with confusion.

“That's not what this says.” She said with a hint of victory in her voice as she stroked me. It sent a disturbing chill up my spine. With an involuntary jerk, I kicked upward with the spread bar, which her hindlegs were placed on, sending her flying up... Only to have her land on my crotch, now straddling me.

“Oh my, a lady could get used to your rough treatment.” She whispered, licking my chest. I twisted my body to the side, sliding her off of me and onto the floor.

“Don’t like that? How about back here then?” She reached a hoof back towards my rear.

“Fuck no! Get the hell away from me before I shock you like those freaky dildos!” My terror caused me to jump to threats, which scared me a bit. It scared me even more that I meant it.

“Oh you, you’re just cranky, here, let mama help you.” She said as she slowly moved over to her bag and pulled out a clear tube and some beads on a string. Luckily she had them lined up, and I managed to strike both with the same bolt.

“I got more!” She declared happily as she pulled out more toys, a large fleshlight and a vibrator, keeping them separated this time, “Too bad that was my last tube of lube..." She sighed.

“I’m warning you, approach me with any of those thing and you will be the one getting shocked! Then you'll stop.”

“Bigger ponies than you have tried sonny, I ALWAYS get em in the end.” She emphasized her point by brandishing the vibrator at me.

“Alright then.” I said with a shrug. “Zappins for you. Take a step.” She took one step, then another, slowly hobbling her way to me. The moment her forelegs crossed the spreader bar, I pulled it into the space between her legs and chest and used it to flip her onto her back. I lowered the bar gently to weigh her down.

“M-Mah back!” The elderly mare cried painfully. I didn't quite notice her reaction in my excitement at not being raped.

"Ha. Told you you wouldn't get me!" I shouted, catching the attention of a nearby guard.

“Mrs., you alrig-What did you do!?” The guard cried fearfully when he saw the mare.

"I broke her. Get the fuck over it."

“What have you done?! The king will have our hides!” The guard screamed frantically. I suddenly realized the mare was in pain.

“I-I'm sorry! I didn't mean it! She came at me with dildoes!” I shouted apologetically. I hadn't wanted to hurt her.

“That’s what she paid for! She’s the reason we could afford new chains for some of the more violent criminals!”

“How the hell was I supposed to know?! Look, Ms. Creepy dildoes, I'm sorry! Can I make it up to you?”

“Well..." if you would be so kind to as to bend over..." She said, slowly getting to her hooves. She moved one to hold her back painfully.

“Uhhh... unfortunately I'm chained up.”

“G-Guards, could you help turn him around?” A few more guards entered the cell, spun me around, and I ended up on my stomach with my arms crossed. I pulled my arms to the side with all my strength, flipping myself right back to normal.

"Wouldn't you rather have me do something else?” I offered desperately.

“Well iffin’ you can actually use that there thing of yours I would love a ride.” She mused, still holding her back.

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but you seem mildly... frail. Wouldn't sex with a physically superior being like me hurt?"

“That’s half the fun deary.”

"I mean wouldn't it break more bones?"

“Don’t worry about mine, I just want yours.” She said, eyeing my crotch as she moved closer.

"Ok, ok, look, while that's much preferable to the other option, I have girls back home that I can't cheat on!"

“So? I have a husband, doesn’t stop me a lick.” She confessed, running a hoof down my chest and working her way down to my nethers.

"What the... Does he know you're here?"

“Of course he does, how do you think Ah pay for this?” She asked, stepping over my legs and straddling me.

“Well you just reached a whole new level of corrupt and creepy."

“You should see the fillies mah husband keeps around, now nuff about me, lets get to you.”

“Nope, fuck the king’s money.”

“Sorry, but this is gonna happen whether you like it or not.” She said as she brought her body into contact with mine.

“So, how many bones would break if I were to fling you into the cell door?” I asked venomously, tired of trying to talk my way out.

“Enough to make me ask for a refund and really tick off the king.” She responded with a smug smile, as if she had some sort of trump card now. I grinned at her devilishly.

“Good, maybe he’ll get mad enough to send me a real fight.”

“Oh hohohoh, don’t worry bout him til tamorrow, right now its--”

“Why the heck are you even doing this?!” I interrupted, she stopped dead in her tracks,

“I-I have my reasons, now stop talkin’!”

“Why would your husband PAY for this stuff?!”

“Same reason he pays for those little skanks. . . “ She muttered, looking down. Not at me, just away.

“Which would be?”

“The same reason you don’t like me... “ Her tone shifted from one of dominance to one of depression.

“You tried to rape him with dildoes?” She looked up to me angrily.

“Ah’m old. . . I-I don’t tickle his fancy no more. . .H-He just plays with them fillies of the night.”

“Oh. Well that’s not why I don’t like you at all. Now, if you hadn’t come at me with dildioes and rape, I might have been nicer.”

“But you wouldn’t of given me what I wanted, you men never do, not til Ah took it from ya here!”

“Sooo... you’re saying any stallion you’ve asked has refused?”

“What don’t ya undastand about ‘Ah’m old’?”

“Well that shouldn’t stop them... Either way, why don’t you just confront your husband about this?”

“If Ah do he’ll leave me! Don’t you get it? There are more mares then there are stallions, Ah’m replaceable to him.” She explained, now tearing up.

“Aww, come on. Nopony is really ‘replaceable’. I’m sure that if he can’t value you as a mare, then you can easily find somepony else.” I gave her an uneasy glance. “You know, if you quit the rape thing.”

“You think this was mah first choice? A mare has needs too ya know! And you don’t know how it feels to be replacable, yer a buckin’ hero!” She shouted, now clearly crying.

“Well, I understand that you have needs, but maybe you should try being nice before you jump to rape? I’m sure you will have a lot more luck.”

“Time’s up, next bidder.” A guard stated quickly.

“Whaddya know. I suggest you go try my idea now on some lucky stallion. Bye now.” The guards opened the door, and led her down to the hall, saddened by her failed conquest. I breathed a heavy sigh of relief. “Damn that was close.”

“The next bidder is ready, we will go get him.” The guard tossed over his shoulder before heading down the hall once again.

“... Him?” Moments later the guard returned, escorting a small white pegasus with a brown mane who was nervously avoiding eye contact with me.

“Here he is hero, have fun.” The guard droned, showing absolutely no emotion, but as he goes further down the hall I swear I heard him laughing.

“Fuck. No thanks bro. Hey, bet his name’s Brokeback.”

“M-My name’s C-Clouds-streak, n-not Brokeb-back.” The young stallion stuttered.

“That’s... nice. Well, leave.” I tilted my head in minor confusion, but chalked whatever I had missed up as Steven's doing.

“B-But I-I’m your number one f-fan!” He shouted quickly.

“Look guy, I appreciate that, but I’m tired and I need as much rest as I can get. I can only rest when all the bidders leave.”

“O-Okay b-but before I go c-can you sign this?” He asked nervously, revealing a poster saying: ‘The hero takes on the arena! Will he defeat the monster within?’. I frowned.

“Well, I would love to, but my arms are kinda chained up.”

“O-Oh, right... Let me just g-get m-” He started, but he stopped and stared at something.

“What's wrong?” I asked, not quite sure what he was staring at. He said nothing and pointed down. I looked down where he was pointing to see the wet vibrator from two bidders back. “Oh, that. Yeah, some bidders are bit creepy.” He cautiously walked over to it and extended a shaky hoof. The toy came to life, shaking its way across the cell. “Well. That’s.... new.” I muttered interestedly. We both sat there in awkward silence and watched it bounce and rattle it’s way around the cell floor. It eventually neared me and I kicked it away.

“W-Well... Y-You don’t see that e-everyday.” The stallion suddenly muttered, tearing my attention away from the odd toy.

“See what? You know, I thought you were going to get my cuffs undone so I could sign that thing.”

“N-No...That...” He pointed to my exposed crotch.

“No, no you don’t see that every day. Hopefully you won’t have to ever again. Now, please let me sign the thing so I can get through this faster.” He said nothing and just continued to stare, a blush slowly appeared on his muzzle.”Uhhh... dude?” His stare was broken and I got his attention.

“W-What?” I jangled the chains on my arms.

“Sign?” Once again, he said nothing but went to get a guard. On the way, he looked down at himself and noticed something.

“Hello? Focus bro.” I called out. Without an answer he started to move his hoof downwards toward his stomach. “Dude!” I shouted, unfortunately he seemed to be more interested in something else as he continued his movement. “Wake the fuck up!” I shouted louder, wondering what the hell was so entrancing to him, I looked down and saw him playing with himself. “Oh hell no. Leave, now.” I growled, feeling slightly betrayed by the 'fan'. Even through my protests he continued, fully out of his sheath. He leaned back against the cell door as he moaned.

“Ohh hero...." He moaned, eyes now closed. I growled audibly, but decided he wasn't really trying to do anything to me, so it didn't matter.

“Eh, whatever. He isn’t bugging me.” I mumbled to myself as I leaned back and ignored the stallion, suddenly I felt something land on my leg. Knowing full well what it was, and not really caring at all, I continued to ignore it.

“Ahhh...” He groaned and slid down against the cell door.

“I think it’s best you leave now.” I stated gruffly.

“D-Don’t you w-want a turn?” He offered. I shook my head quickly.

“No. Sorry kid, I don’t swing that way. Leave please.”

“C-Can we atleast cuddle?” He started slowly trotting on the tips of his hooves over to me.

“No. Get. Out.” I ordered firmly.

“B-But we still have time, w-we can-” He started reaching for my crotch. Now I was mad, he was trying to force himself on me now.

“NO! LEAVE!” I shouted.

“J-Just let me help yo-”

“What don’t you understand about leave?! I said get out, get out! I don’t want you touching me!”

“B-Because, one of the mares o-outside said you were green, y-you don’t know if y-you’ll like it.”

“Well how do you not know she lied?” My patience was quickly wearing thin.

“B-Because, you a-act like it.”

“How do you figure?”

“Y-You avoid any m-mare who wants you, m-maybe you don’t l-like mares.”

“That has nothing to do with what I think green means, but just so you know, I have FOUR mares I like waiting for me when I get home.”

“H-have you r-rutted any of them?”

“Yes.” I lied, hoping it would get rid of him faster.

“T-Then t-tell me how i-it felt.” He challenged, his face now turning crimson.

“Positively perfect. Now, why don’t you go try a mare yourself. I’m sure one of the ones I turned down will be plenty willing.”

“B-But I don’t like mares, a-and from the looks of i-it, we could have some f-fun.”

“For the last time, my answer is no. Let it be.” I tried being patient again, giving him plenty of chances to simply stop.

“You lie about g-getting mares, y-yet you have t-that," He indicated my crotch, "its obvious that you like stallions!”

“Lie? Excuse me, but what gives you the audacity to call me a liar?! Number one fan... Yeah right.”

“B-Because, I was i-in denial like you too a-at first.”

“Denial huh? Sir, lemme tell you right now. If you don’t leave me alone and quit insinuating that I’m gay, I will strike you with a fucking lightning bolt. Whoa, harsh bro. I like it.” My patience was gone now.

“A-Are you really so offended b-by being c-called gay?”

“No, I’m offended by somepony who claims to be my fan calling me a liar when I say I’m not. Then you had to add persistence for sex which it’s obvious I don’t want.”

“B-But.”

“Leave. Now, Cloudstreak.”

“D-Dont you want me to atleast-”

“What did I just say about insistence? Knock it off.” He finally got the message and walked out, leaving his poster in my cell. “Hey! You left the poster!” He quickly galloped back to retrieve his poster, but not before stealing another glance at me. Then he galloped back down the hall. Eventually the guards returned, but this time thankfully they returned with a mare instead of a stallion. However, I could hardly believe who they brought in.“M-Mrs.Cake?!”

“Y-Yes, hello deary.” She mumbled shyly as the guards let her in my cell before quickly leaving.

“What are you doing here!?”

“Well, you see..." She couldn't look at me directly an instead looked down with a crimson blush covering her face.

“What?”

“Well, s-since Carrot has been busy with deliveries he hasn’t had time to ice my cake.”

"Well isn't pinkie working there to help with the cakes? Speaking of cakes, why are you here instead of back at the bakery?"

“Oh, Pinkie’s filling in for me while I’m out, now for you to eat my cupcake hero.”

"You brought cupcakes?" I asked excitedly. Now that I thought about it, I couldn't remember my last sweet.

“Oh, just one big one.” She whispered huskily, turning around and lifting her tail, exposing her marehood to me.

"Oh.... this is one of those code word things... damn, I kinda wanted cupcakes."

“Just get to it, mama needs this!” She cried, shoving her flank in my face.

"Ghhht offer mer fache" Mrs. Cake didn't move and her breathing quickened.

"Mrs cake! Get off my face!" I managed to shout as I got my face clear of her flanks.

“What’s wrong, am I not good enough for you?” She whimpered a bit as she removed herself slightly.

"No, not that, can't breath like this!"

“O-Oh, can you do it if I give you breaks?” She asked quickly.

"Well p-physically yes, but n-no. I don't want to."

“So you don’t want me either... well too bad! I paid for this, and I want you to cover me with your cream!” She exclaimed as she reached for my crotch.

“No! It's not that, I mean, you're an attractive mare and all, but Mr. Cake is my friend! I couldn't do this to him."

“What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him and will give me something he can’t!” Then she started grabbing me in her hooves. Well, my smaller me anyway.

"I'll have to tell him!"

“Not like he would blame me, he can’t even get it up since I had the twins!” She explained as she started stroking me.

"Yeah, the twins! I'm sure he wants you, he's just busy because of them! Why don't you hire pinkie pie to babysit and do it then!?"

“Don’t you get it, the twins aren’t the problem, the problem is this!” She exclaimed as she shoved her flank in my face again while playing with me.

"What is 'this'?!" I asked, not sure if her actions were any indication of the real issue.

“This!” She says, slapping her flank, sending ripples throughout her backside. I struggled not to turn crimson.

"L-look Mrs. Cake, I'm not the Guy you want. You should check somewhere else.'

“I don’t need a guy, I just need one night with a real stallion who can please his mare.”

"Can't your husband do that?!"

“Don’t you get it, he can’t get it up! Why else would I resort to something to humiliating?”

“See? This humiliated you. You shouldn't have to do this to get laid."

“But I NEED this, you have no idea how bad it is for a mare in heat, to need something so bad, but nothing helps.”

"You're in heat?"

“Didn’t you see me down there, how red it is?!” She waved her bottom a bit, getting impatient.

"You know, it's kinda hard to see in flank induced darkness.” I retorted sarcastically.

“You should have the best view of it possible, I’m not moving.” I risked a quick look. Mrs. Cake's marehood was red and puffy with need. I hadn't really noticed it before, but I could feel the warmth coming off of her.

"Hmmm... well, you are certainly in heat Mrs cake. Now, why come to me?”

“Of the few stallions I know of, you were one of the only ones not taken or in any kind of relationship.”

"Touche... If I didn't have 4 mares waiting on me back home."

“But none of them need you as badly as I need you right now, now stop talking and get to it!” She shoved her flank into my face yet again, causing her to sigh loudly.

“Mrs.Cake, this isn’t right! I mean, you used to be my boss! It’s too weird.” I managed to move my mouth away from her somthering flanks.

“Oh it’s okay, consider this my way of paying you.” She offered as she looked at me between her hooves.

“You fired me though!” I decided to start trying to sound angry. “That’s right! You fired me! Why would I help you?!”

”Consider this your re-hiring, and your job is to put a bun in this old mares oven.” She giggled, totally ignoring my anger.

“I don’t want a job from you. I work for Luna now. Besides, you’d just fire me again after tonight.”

“Oh no I wouldn’t, you would just be on call to provide your ‘services’ whenever I need them.” She explained as she continued stroking me with her hooves.

“What, like some kind of whore? You really think I’d do that?”

“Oh I was thinking more like a call stallion, sounds so much sexier.” She giggled, winking at me.

“... No. Just... no.”

“Thats not what little Sharky says.” She disagreed as she ran a hoof along my chestaa.

“Will you stop that?! I have my girls to think about, I can’t do this with you! Think about it, wouldn’t Carrot be devastated?”

“You have no idea how bad mares have it in heat do you?” She said, practically breathless.

“Not bad enough to excuse you paying tons of money to rape your husband’s friend.”

“It’s not rape if you like it, and by the looks of it you do.” She teased as she moved out of the way to reveal my stiffened long john.

“Wow, didn’t even feel that. Nonetheless, I won’t. Even if I did, you still wouldn’t be excused from spending all that money.”

“Oh, this is MY money, something of a rainy day fund.” She explained with a laugh.

“But the sky is clear today.” I pointed out. A flirty pout crossed her face.

“Stop talking and get to it.” She said as she positioned her flanks in front of me. I carefully looked around for a way out of this, and noticed that most of her weight was being supported by her forelegs and my chest. I used my head to tip her back end up ever so slightly.

“Mrs. Cake, meet gravity.” I joked as she fell forward onto the ground. She fell forward, slamming into the ground pretty roughly..

“Guards!”

“What are they gonna do, chain me up? OH WAIT.”

“No, they will hold you still while I enjoy my moneys worth.” The guards arrive at my cell the second she says this.

“Hold him down while I have my fun.” She ordered in a sultry tone, the guards did as she said and held me down, one on each side.

"You realize that's what the chains were for..."

“Yes but we can’t put chains on that.” She snickered, pointing to my crotch.

"And you're worried about that moving?" I replied sarcastically with a raised brow.

“With you dodging me like the dickens I need all the help I can get.”

"Fair's fair....” I blinked a few times and saw Mrs. Cake was in my cell. I wondered when she had got here. “Oh, hi Mrs. Cake!" Mrs. Cake frowned confusedly.

“What are you talking about?”

"When did you get here?" I asked.

“No more talking, guards, hold him still while I have my fill.”

"Fill of what? Why are these guards here?"

“N-No more talking, I can’t wait anymore!” She began to lower herself. Then I saw that I was naked and she was trying to have sex with me.

"Whoa whoa! What the heck is going on?!" I shouted as I twisted myself away from her marehood, easily overpowering the weak guards.

“Quit moving! Guards hold him down or you will take his place!” The guards scrambled to regain hold as she continued to maneuver her flank over me.

"Mrs. Cake, what the hell are you doing?!" I screamed.

“Getting what my stallion can’t give me!” She shouted, grinding her flank against me inbetween her attempts to thrust me into her.

"Get the heck off me! I demand to know what's going on!!" She said nothing as her face became flushed and she continued. I thrusted my hips roughly, sending her bouncing away from me.

“Guards, hold him down! I want my bits worth!” She ordered desperately, hurrying back over to me, lifting her tail, and lining herself up. I simply twisted out of the way again, but that didn’t stop her from just rubbing herself against my leg. Content to have at least not have been raped, I let her be, but as I let her continue her moans got louder as she inched over. Not being fooled, I twisted more as she slid closer, but unfortunately no matter how much I twisted her rump persisted as I was now soaked in her fluids. I ignored her the best I could. She continued to grind and moan for a while until it wasn’t enough for her, then she quickly shifted her rear near my crotch.

“Clearly you're not understanding me, tell me what the hell is going on and stop trying that!” I shouted as I twisted away from her again. Her attention was focused elsewhere though, and she ignored me and continued moving backward. I frantically twisted from side to side, and it wasn't long before she finally had enough and straddled me backwards,with her rear pushed up against my more private part. She started rubbing herself against my length.

"Alright, what is going on?! Where's Mr. Cake, and why isn't he stopping you?!"

“Oh, I don’t care about him right now!” She shouted. Her blatant loss of care for her marriage and family angered me.

“... Get out.” I growled, anger filling my voice.

“What? No!” She shouted indignantly.

“Get the fuck out before I decide to use something very deadly.” I warned, quickly losing my patience.

“Oh don’t lie, you want it.” She said, continuing rubbing herself against me.

“OUT NOW!” I shrieked, getting as close to her face as I could. The rage was evident on my face, she just giggled.

“Oh don’t be ashamed deary, it’ll be fun! I promise.” She consoled as she twisted and kissed my cheek.

“Mrs. Cake, I’m going to warn you one last time. With the very last shred of respect I have for you, you can walk out now, or I will hurt you.” I warned venomously.

“Why bother?! She will just keep trying use you! Get her now!”

“Oh, like a hero like you would hurt lil’ ol me, what would you tell Pinkie Pie?”

“Well, you’re right. I wouldn’t.” I said with a small smile. “Luckily, I don’t have to.” I swung my head back as fast as I could, knocking myself clean out on the surprisingly hard wall.

“Yeah! Getting the body twice in one day!” Steven cheered as he gained control. He gave Mrs. Cake an evil grin. “And now that I can finally have my fun, I don’t need you!”

“What are you talking about?” She asks, utterly confused by my antics. Steven swung his head forward, headbutting Mrs. Cake away. She rolled a few feet, but didn’t hit the door or faint.

“W-why did you do that?” She asked worriedly, holding her head.

“Because get the fuck out bitch. I don’t need you anymore.”

“W-what?!” She asks nervously.

“You heard me, slut. Get out, I desire to cause pain now, but my host respects you. If you don’t want to die, leave.”

“Sharky, stop this, what are you doing?!” She asked, tearing up quickly.

“There’s no Sharky here! Now leave before I change my mind!”

“Stop playing around, tell me what you are trying to do, and why you hit me!”

"I told you already! Here, let me make it clear. You’re ugly, stupid, unfit to be in my presence. Get out before I kill you like the insect you are.” Now in tears, Mrs.Cake hung her head and slowly left my cell. “Heh heh... heheheheh.....” Moments later, a guard came into my cell.

“Alright hero, what did you do to her, she’s asking for a refund.” The guard asked impatiently.

“Too bad, she came in here at her own risk. Not my fault she got hurt.”

“Then why is her head bruised?”

“Why is my body covered in her fluids?”

“Why are you covered in stallion seed?” He asked curiously as he pointed to my left thigh.

“Because some whiny asshole earlier clopped on me. Now bring me the next bitch.” The guard face taloned and headed out to get my next bidder. Mere minutes later, he returned with a foal by his side.

“Here’s your next bidder, this lil guy has been bouncing all over the waiting room.” Steven gave him a cruel smile as the guard allowed the colt in and closed the door..

“Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh! It’s really yo-”

“Thundraga.” Steven cooed as he pointed at the foal. A bolt arced from his finger and struck the colt. He died instantly. “I think I broke his bounce.” The guard stood there slack-jawed... well, slack-beaked

“What did you just do!?” He shouted frantically fretting over the downed child. He struggled with the keys to my cell.

“It’s unlocked dumbass.” He dropped the keys and rushed into the cell, picking up the young colt quickly.

“He’s not breathing!”

“No shit. I just killed him you idiot. Wow, finally got to kill. I’m sated for now. Peace out, bitches.”

I woke up to see a guard shaking a little foal viciously.

“Hey! Pick on somepony your own size!” I shouted, the guard gave me a death glare.

“I’m here, what happened!?” A gryffin in a white coat rushed into my cell, bringing a small red box with a cross on it with him.

“Whoa. What’s going on?

“You killed this foal! The king is on his way down to deal with you... Some hero you turned out to be.” The guard stated coldly before watching the doctor try to revive the foal.

“Holy shit! Steven killed a foal?! It was fun. Dammit! Can’t trust my own fucking personality! Bring the foal to my right hand! I can heal him!”

“No! You’ve done enough... I should've known to stop when the last mare left here bruised.” He seethed as the doctor gryffin started CPR.

“Aww crap... I thought he was just going to insult her! Fine, I’ll deal with that later. Use this-”

“Guards, why did you call me down, I was trying to spend some time with my--” The king froze at the scene of the doctor trying to revive the foal.

“Shut up kingy, I got little problem!” I willed the fairy bottle to my hand. I tossed it towards the foal and it shattered on the ground by his head. The fairy darted over to him and circled him a few times causing the foal to suddenly leap to his hooves as the fairy vanished.

“-u! I’m a super big fan and--- OWWWWWWW!” The foal looked around in confusion to see the gryffin doctor putting a needle in his leg. “GAH! NEEDLE!” The foal seemed to resist an urge to jump away a looked at me. “Uh... I mean, no big deal.” I sighed deeply in relief.

“Well, it’s nice to meet you kid. What’s your name?”

“BrushStroke!” He announced happily with a little flourish of his forehoof.

“... Strange name.”

“No it’s not..." He puffed indignantly. "A-Anyways look what I made for you!” He cried, pulling a large plastic cylinder from his saddlebags.

"What do you have there?" The foal struggled to get it open, and eventually resorted to chewing on the cap.

".... Need some help?" He nodded furiously and hoofed me the container. “... I’m a little chained up still.” I reminded him as I held the container uselessly.

“Oh sorry, how do I take them off?”

“I think the guards have to.” I gestured limply to the shocked guards and King.

“Oh, could you do the thing he said?” He asked happily, nearly bursting at the seams and totally not aware of his previous death. One of the guards walked over dumbly and unlocked my chains. As soon as I was free, I started undoing the container’s lid, and pulled out a massive poster. I unrolled it to reveal a giant painting of me. I was in the Arena, standing on some sort of shadowy body, offering it a hand up.

“Damn... it is the mirror...” I gasped. There wasn’t much in the terms of facial features on the shadow, but I had only seen that much evil in something’s eyes one time. The kid was an amazing artist though, everything was crisp and well defined. The only error I could see was that he painted me in my standard armor with my personal weapons. Not the stuff they made me use here. “This... this is an amazing painting dude.” I beamed at him.

“Thanks! I heard about you being here yesterday so my mommy let me come meet you!” I sat there and smiled at the colt until I realized something.

“Wait, you only heard about me yesterday, then how-”

“I worked all day on this, I even used the paint I got for my birthday!”

“Wow.... You’re really talented.”

“Thanks, it means a lot that you like it, but what did you say about double?”

“What? I never said anything about double.”

“Same thing as a mirror. . but what did you say about it?”

“Nothing important... Can you give me a swab or something?” I asked the doctor gryffin. He huffed before closing his bag and walking away. “Well, that was rude.”

“Yeah, why was he in here? I remember hopping around then I had a needle in my flank.” The foal wondered as he looked at his flank.

“Oh, you died for a moment.” I explained. He stoppped looking at his flank and his eyes went wide.

“H-haha, good one hero.” He giggled awkwardly.

“No joke. You’re now a risen dead, like me. Kinda like... an angel on the ground or something.”

“I get it, I fainted, now let's get back to your mirror.”

“Nah kid, I’m telling you. You died. Ask the king there.” I pointed to the still mildly shocked king, the foal slowly turned his head to the king and the king nodded in response.

“H-how...”

“My fault. Rather, Steven’s fault, but I let him out... so my fault.”

“W-what?”

“You got hit by lightning from my evil alter-ego.”

“B-but your mirror should be that!”

“Yeah, I have two. One is in my head.” The foal's face went deadpan. “It’s not very fun.”

“B-but why did you l-let him-”

“That’s a long story that involves some adult things you can’t know yet.”

“But I’m a big pony!”

“Then find me after you grow up a little more and I’ll tell you.”

“No fair.” The foal pouted, kicking the ground just to the side of the poster sized painting.

“Sorry buddy. Is there anything else you wanted to do with your time?”

“Well I wanted a hug but..." He drifted off as he gave a look of disgust to the various fluids covering my body. “Can we give him a towel, PLEASE!?” He shielded his eyes as he noticed that I was still exposed. I covered myself with my hands quickly.

“Sorry, forgot about that. Thanks.” A guard appeared by the cell door and threw me a towel. I quickly wiped myself off and pulled my leather skirt on.

“What was that gunk?” The colt asked, poking and prodding at the towel on the ground.

“DON’T TOUCH THAT. Nothing you need to worry about. Wait, which gunk?” He merely pointed towards the towel. “There were two different fluids I wiped off. You know what? You can’t know either anyway. Hugs now?”

“I don’t know if I want to now..." He murmured, taking a step back. I shrugged.

“Well, your time. Sorry if I wasn’t all you expected.”

“Y-you are, it’s just you look sticky. Anyways, how do you know he is your mirror? Even from the stands he looks different.”

“Long story involving complicated magic theories and such. He’s bound to look different from me by now. Anyway, want to hear some stories or something?”

“Okay!” He shouted excitedly, quickly running to my side for story time. He laid down, careful not to touch me. I went over a few tales of my various adventures, careful to skip over the gorier parts or stories. After a little over an hour of stories the guards and king returned to the cell.

“So Rarity isn’t your marefriend?” He asked as I started the filly-saving story. It was odd how many ponies wanted to hear that one.

“Technically not this week.”

“W-wait what?”

“Another long story, and it looks like we don’t have time for it.” I explained, pointing to the guards.

“Awww ponyfeathers..." He pouted as the guard escorted him out. I rolled the poster back up and put it back in the container as he left. Just as the colt left the cell, another mare galloped in. She was breathing heavy and had a bad look in her eyes. She seemed familiar, I had seen her before somewhere.

“H-heres your next bidder.” The guard stuttered as she slammed the door shut in front of him. I continued to stare at the mare until I suddenly remembered who she was.

“... Trixie? I mean uhh... Who the buck are you?” Suddenly, Trixie's facial features began to melt away. Her whole body turned completely white with no features or hair. She looked like she was made of plastic. “... That’s new.” I waved my void over her quickly, but to my surprise she had the magic of a typical earth pony. “Hello?”

“Tell me what you desire.” The mannequin-like mare ordered. Which was creepy since she had no mouth. It was almost like she was speaking from inside my head. Nonetheless, there was one thing I wanted.

“... Well, I’m kinda hungry, do you happen to have some cupcakes?” She quickly morphed into an earth pony and laid on the ground, exposing herself entirely. I would’ve looked away but to my surprise she was covered in...

“Icing? ... Why are you covered in icing?”

“You said you wanted a cupcake, now eat your fill.” She offered in a sultry tone, wiggling her flank. I gave her a confused look.

“First of all, having icing on you doesn’t make you a cupcake. Second of all, how are you changing like that?”

“I can be anything you want, I saw a bigger mare leave here earlier looking satisfied, do you like them big?” She asked heatedly, her body suddenly grew to almost the same size of Mrs.Cake and she began flicking her tail from side to side. “You like my big luscious flanks?” She asked seductively.

“The guard told me looked sad and bruised...”

“Oh she was, at first, until she realised she was the only one who got even close to you, after that she couldn’t have been happier.”

“Hmmm... bitter because attempted rape, but at least she’s forgotten about the injury.”

“Last time I saw her she was in the restroom, her moans were so loud.” She teased, sticking her tongue out at me in what I could assume was a flirty gesture.

“That’s.... Aw forget it. Nothing surprises me now.”

“Now how about a taste?” She offered, dipping a hoof in her icing and rubbing it all over my chest.

“That’s... No.”

“More for me.” She growled, getting to her hooves and staring at the icing on my chest.

“You’re a little messed up, aren’t cha?” She stopped moving instantly and changed form into a little yellow filly.

“Daddy!” She cried happily.

“... I take it back. That surprised me.”

”Can we wrestle daddy?! PWEASE?” She asked, tackling me. Not knocking me over, but she tried.

“Wrestle? Uhh... Ok?” I grabbed the tiny filly and play pushed her along the floor. She growled playfully and lunged at me, but when she got her little hooves on me she just started grinding herself against my chest.

“Hmmmmmmmm Daddy feels sooooooo good.” She moaned, her eyes half lidded. I growled fiercely, grabbed the filly and held her out by the scruff of her neck.

“Don’t even go there, demon!” I shouted. Her eyes opened wide at my shout. Slowly her eyes went black, she starts growing a long spiny tail, fangs, and her coat turned pitch black. I dropped her in surprise, but instead of being jarred by the drop she got to her hooves and let out a low hiss as she started slithering towards me.

“... Called it.” I muttered as she continued to inch her way towards me until she pounced, fangs bared. This time with her added weight she threw me off balance, causing me to step backwards into the wall. Her tail wrapped around my leg, the tip moving upwards toward my groin. I bared my teeth back at her and headbutted her evil face. My head sunk into her like she was made of sponge and I pulled back to see she was totally unphased.

“Now to feast.” She hissed, lightly nipping at my neck.

“Whatever bitch, I’ve fought worse than you!” I cried as I grabbed her. Her dark coat start to turn into long brown fur. Surprised again, I dropped her as she quickly turned into a large border collie, frantically wagging it’s tail. “... A... a dog... Sit?” The dog sits, but one of it’s front paws began to drift somewhere else. “No! Stay!” I shouted. Like I said she stays, her paw still going at it. “Oh god. That’s gross. Gilda had better appreciate the fact that I'm going through this.” Once again, the strange shape changer stopped dead and morphed into a familiar form.

“Hey there dweeb.” Gilda teased playfully.

“... Well, there’s that.” I groaned as she hovered over to me.

“Wanna get to the fun stuff stud?” I jumped up, grabbed both of her talons and locked her in a full nelson head-lock.

“Gilda likes wrestling, if I remember correctly.” I thought out loud, relatively distantly. She snickered at my words, and her tail started working its way under my skirt. She was tickling me a little. “Eh. Better than it could be.” I muttered to myself, but as if on cue, her tail flipped up my skirt and she quickly pushed her backside into me. Luckily, since I was totally flaccid after my disgust at Mrs. Cake settled in, her attempts meant nothing. Nonetheless, I flung her away.

“We were just getting to the good part.” She purred.

“Maybe for you.”

“What's the matter? Can’t even handle this!?” She challenged, turning around exposing herself. After all I’d been through tonight, I didn’t even bother to look away. “Like what you see?”

“Nope.”

“Don’t lie, you want this.” She moaned a little as she slapped, then grabbed, a talon full of her flank.

“Nope. In fact, I would like it if you would leave.” She dropped her act and just glared at me menacingly. “... What?”

“Both of you... What is wrong with you!?” She shouted angrily, lunging at me and pinning me to the wall. I pushed her back off.

“Wrong with me? Many, many things.”

“Why won’t either of you just rut me?!” She yelled, lunging at me again.

“Mostly because I don’t believe in premarital sex.” I explained as I caught and pushed her again.

“Never in my life have I been denied, now what do you desire!?”

“Uhhh....”

“Time’s up.” A guard interrupted suddenly. I turned to look at him, but the shape-shifter remained focused on me.

“NOOOO!” She shrieked, lunging at me in one last vain attempt to get something.

“Wait, P-Princess Gilda?!” The guard suddenly realized who was in my cell. Rather, what the thing in my cell looked like.

“Not the princess, don’t worry.” I assured him as I caught her again. I pulled her close, and kissed her forehead just to tease her a bit. “Sorry sweetie, out of luck I suppose.” I tossed her away one final time.

“Okay hero, I’m here to che- GILDA, what are you doing here at this time of night with him?!” The king barked. I guess he had decided to pay me a visit. Desperate not to anger the king further by looking like I was with his daughter, I thought fast. I had said demon, bitch, little, and Gilda before she changed each time, so...

“NURSE!” I shouted. The morpher's body turned into Gilda, but now wearing a slutty nurse’s outfit. The king just stares on, not understanding what he sees. “... Pony nurse.”

“Let me take your temperature!” She shouted, her form twisting from a gryffin into a red pony. The change of species that quickly was a little creepy.

“See? Not Gilda. Though I’m pretty sure she wants a turn on my disco stick too.”

“How dare you talk about my daughter like that! For this your next fight will be even harder!" The king growled as he gave me a particularly scalding death glare.

“I don’t even know what happened, and I really don’t care. Bring it the fuck on king, I think it’s time you learn who you’re dealing with.” I retorted angrily. I was nothing but nice to him, but he was pushing my patience too far now.

“You just said my daughter wants your ‘disco stick’..." He explained angrily, speaking to me like I was an idiot. I thought for a moment. The only explanation was that Steven had said it, but now that I thought about it...

“Nah, there’s no way. She’s my friend.”

“Your opponent will be given new chains and shackles now..." The king growled. I tilted my head in confusion.

“... Good for him? Well, you’d better go. There are more girls waiting.” The guards forcibly dragged the mare out of my cell and down the hall with the king in tow. I leaned back against the wall and sighed. "Well, I officially hate that guy."

Bidders part 2

<_<...... >_>.....

*drops* *runs away*

WARNING: SO MUCH PORN

I started humming ‘in the jungle’ to myself quietly while I waited for the next bidder. I was only about halfway through it when something finally happened.

“Hello there, hero..." A seductive voice called from down the hall.

“Hello mystery voice.” I called back, but as soon as I spoke, in walked a large purple dragon with curved ram-like horns. She was bi-pedal and only about a foot and a half shorter than me. “Well, this is new. A dragon?”

“Never been with a dragon before?” She teased.

"Well, sexually no, but I came pretty damn close just yesterday."

“Hmmm, not tight enough for you? Or too old?”

"More like I have no desire to cheat on my girls."

“That’s unfortunate, because you see, another bidder in the lobby and I made a little wager... Whoever gets lucky gets half the loser’s horde..."

"I'm hoping you both aren't after me. Though for that to really work, I'm guessing it's not only me after all."

“Oh no, she has a thing for bad boys.” She clearified as her tail flicked the cell door shut.

"Good. I'm pretty sure I don't qualify for that then."

“Not by her standards, she likes them a bit rough around the edges. As for me I have different tastes.” Her eyes darted to my chest. I wondered for a moment what she was looking at.

"Oh? The scars right? Yeah... kinda conspicuous huh?"

“No, no, the other guy has you beat just a little, but he doesn’t have these.” She explained as she ran a curved talon down the center of my chest.

"... He has no sternum?"

“No, your muscles, he's too thin for my liking.”

"Oh yes, I suppose I've got a little muscle..."

“Compared to him you’re a bodybuilder, I guess his cannibalism doesn't build much muscle. Did you know he was cannibalistic?”

"No, but I'm not surprised really."

“Do your people always eat each other?” She asked coyly.

"Some groups do. They either do it for food, or they believe they inherit some power from those they consume."

“How would you like to taste me?” She rasped huskily as she flicked her tail from side to side.

"Hmmmmm.... no thanks. A bit random of you to ask though, I thought we were on cannibalism."

“Too bad you don’t have a choice.” She stated assuredly with a smirk, putting a claw behind my head and trying to pull me into a kiss. Even though she had some surprising strength, I managed to pull back.

"When will you girls ever learn that no means no? Besides, that would’ve been pointless. Kissing won't get you anything but less patience from me."

“I don’t know, sounds like my friend is doing pretty good over there.” She murmured distractedly, her efforts doubling on my head. This dragon seemed pretty scatter-brained. I didn't bother to try and hear whatever her superior ears were picking up. I continued to resist with only some mild strain. “Give up, just let me have my fun.” She whined.

"Hmmm... how about no?"

“You asked for this, oh guards!” She called out in a sing song voice.

"Already? Shame. I was having fun wrestling."

“Not the type of wrestling I paid for though.” She griped as the guards arrived at my cell.

"What? Never heard of foreplay?" I asked sarcastically.

“I prefer to skip to the main event.” She countered while brushing her tail against my face.

"Well, that's a bit slutty of you."

“I’m not losing to that youngling.” She hissed. "I don't care if it seems slutty, I'm getting what I want."

"Bitchy and competitive too. Noted." I mentally took note. The guards already knew the drill, and they were done chaining me to the wall in mere moments. I put up a little resistance this time, but not enough to really hinder them. "There. Chained. That good enough for you?"

“Yes, yes it is.” She walked over to me, and then she straddled me. Soon enough, she was grinding her hips against mine heatedly.

"Yeah, go ahead. You'll accomplish nothing in the long run." I muttered in boredom.

“Oh, but I will.” She assured, pulling me in for a kiss. She ended up doing most of the leaning due to my chains. I struggled, but her talon was stronger than my neck. Her lips contacted mine, but I stubbornly refused to return the kiss. Next thing I knew, her tongue was invading my mouth, wrapping itself around mine and lightly tugging on it to try and pull me into her mouth. I held as still as possible, giving her nothing in return. Eventually she broke away for a moment.

“Oh come on, live a little hero, after all you might not live through your next match.” She encouraged lustily.

"What do you mean? I'm twice dead already." I muttered back angrily.

“Are you fireproof?”

"It stopped hurting, but it still damages me."

“Well nevermind then, but why not just live up your last night in the Arena?” She asked as she leaned in to kiss me again. She forced her tongue into my mouth again as her tail dug under my skirt and started caressing me. I still held painfully still, giving her no reaction at all. Even with all her efforts, I kept up my attempts to ignore her, which I achieved fairly well. It was obvious she had a little experience using her tail, but not much. Eventually she pulled back from the kiss again and stared at me hungrily.

"Miss dinner or something?"

"No, but I wouldn’t mind a bit more meat in my diet.” She teased as she used her tail to flick up my battle-skirt.

"Uhhh.... hey, don't do anything that'll cause me to do something I'll regret."

“I doubt you really would.” She started sliding her hips down to my exposed groin.

"Funny, everypony seems to think me incapable of busting some heads when I need to."

“Maybe you can stuggle a bit, but can you match the sexual frustration of 500 years of no sex?” She asked confidently, grinding her groin on my member.

"... You're a little too small to be 500. Which, assuming you’re not a virgin, which you obviously aren’t, means you’re claiming to be much older than 500."

“Thank you, I like to keep my figure.” She started wiggling her rear end against me even faster, making her efforts harder to ignore.

"Dang it, last warning dragon."

“Or what?” She challenged as she sat in front of me. She grabbed my member and started slowly stroking it.

"Thundraga!" I shouted as I pointed to her chest. The bolt struck her full-on, and I almost fainted from a sudden wave of drowsiness. I had over-used my thundraga because of the dildo granny earlier. Strangely enough, through my exhausted haze, I could still feel her stroking me without slowing down at all.

“Hmmmmm, you like it a bit rough big boy?” She asked, still teasing me. I squinted at her exhaustedly.

"Y-you're not hurt.... how?"

“Not all dragons can be hurt with lightning.” She explained, sliding her talon off me and kneeling in front of my exposed crotch.

"C-crap..." I mumured exhaustedly as she played with me. I couldn’t help but slowly become erect, to my great displeasure.

“See? You do want this!” She exclaimed happily at her apparent victory. I struggled to remain awake and fight back.

“W-what d-do you breathe then?” I asked, already knowing the answer.

“Lightning of course! Only as my alternative breath, I can breath fire too.” She muttered uninterestedly as she brought her head closer to my erect manhood. I didn’t know how tired I was, but there was no way the thing I was looking at was what I had shown up in Equestria with.

“Alternative breath... explain please...”

“Hmmm... I think I’d rather have my mouth busy with something other than talking...”

“W-wouldn’t you like to have some f-fun yourself first?” I asked, desperate to stall. She tilted her head up and seemed to think a bit.

“Nah, I’m more interested in tasting you...”

“... Damn it. Oh hell yeah! Finally!”

“Hey, glad to see you finally getting into the spirit of things. Get ready hero!” As with the rest of her behavior, the dragon didn’t bother to start off slow. The moment her head went down, she clamped her mouth down on about half of my member, careful to keep her teeth raised. Her long snake-like tongue coiled around me without warning.

“W-w-whoa! S-stop! Please!” I cried, desperately wanting the strange grabbing to stop. In response, she started moving her head down farther, taking more of me into her mouth. Her tongue slid down with it, causing me to be double caressed. Soon I started hitting something that wouldn’t let her take any more of me in, the back of her mouth I guessed. “P-please stop this! This isn’t right!” I cried. Her mouth flipped up in a grin, causing some strange twisting of muscles surrounding my rod. I saw her swallow, and suddenly she managed to take the rest of me in her mouth at the same time. I cried out, no longer sure if it was in horror or pleasure. I saw her start working her jaw furiously, and suddenly I could feel sucking, her tongue sliding up and down me really fast, and her throat clutching and grabbing me all at the same time. Against all my willpower and disgust at the situation, I couldn’t help but moan loudly.

“Lmmhike thmish?” She asked, her voice muffled by me. It was a miracle she could even talk still. I found that I couldn’t even protest as the pleasure overtook my mind. I didn’t want to be enjoying this at all, but what I wanted no longer mattered. The only sensation I could register anymore other than the pleasure and warmth from her mouth was the hot breath from her nose flaring next to my groin. After maybe a minute or two of this strange girl’s treatment, I felt a new sensation.

“S-something’s happening!” I warned her, not quite sure what the massive build-up in me was. It felt like I was going to explode, it was mildly familiar, but I had never felt something this strong. The dragoness, rather than being worried about whatever was happening, seemed encouraged.

“Ymersh! Gmmmph it amph!” She cried around me as she hastened her pace with all aspects of the draconic blowjob. I cried out suddenly as my mind gave out to the sheer pleasure, actually causing me to see multi-colored lights as my hips bucked involuntarily. I suddenly realized what was happening as I erupted down the slutty dragon’s throat. Her tongue kept stroking me the entire time I came, urging spurt after spurt of cum out of me and down her throat.

“M-make it stop!” I cried out fearfully, not knowing why I hadn’t finished cumming. It had never taken so long on my own. She ignored me and kept swallowing until I finally softened up and stopped giving her my seed. She slowly pulled her head off of my manhood, letting her tongue uncoil slowly after she had already left. She licked her lips with satisfaction.

“Delicious!” She crowed as she smacked her lips happily. “Nopony has given me that much in quite some time... Now, time to move on to the main event, hero.” She vanished in a shower of lightning bolts, leaving behind a large-ish mare with a slightly wider than average chest, and ample flanks.

“N-no! No more! Please!” I begged. I was now even more tired than before, but somehow too awake to feel sleepy. My body felt energized, like I had just gotten recharged or something.

“Oh please, you and I both know you’re aching for more now. I just filled you with enough energy to keep you fucking like a bunny for a month!” I looked down in horror to find myself springing right back to attention, despite my massive orgasm only moments ago. I was even more horrified to discover that resisting wasn’t the first thing on my mind anymore, I had some sort of animalistic desire to fuck the horny pony-dragon in front of me until she couldn’t walk. I snapped back to reality in moments through a herculean effort to push the thoughts away.

“N-no! I don’t! Please, leave me with what little bit of dignity I have left!” I figured I was still technically a virgin, and the last thing I wanted was for her to take that from me.

“Don’t want it?” She asked confusedly. “That’s strange, most males are begging for me from the beginning. The skeptic ones are always ready to go when I ‘charge’ them.... It doesn’t matter, you’ll be begging after I give you a nice, hard fuck!" She cheered determinedly.

“Are you insane?! I'll never beg for you!" I seethed angrily.

“Ooooh, strong words hero! However, I’m not convinced that your resolve is as great as your strength. We’ll see who you’re thinking of after I make you rut me long and hard!” She jeered, raising her flanks over my dick. I knew talking was of no use anymore, so I braced myself for her assault. She was just as rough and fast as before, slamming herself onto me quickly. She slid down about 3/4ths of my dick with a massive whine.

“Gah!” I gasped uncontrollably. I had been able to mentally sidestep feeling most of that, but her warmth on wetness still got through to me. It felt good, and I didn’t like that it did. Instead of lifting herself again, she continued trying to slide herself further down, eventually managing to slap her flanks against my hips. She shuddered, getting used to me I supposed. Her flower was clenching me rapidly for no apparent reason, making me feel a rush of unwanted pleasure Then she turned to me with a huge blush on her face.

“Well... t-that 500 years must’ve had me more pent-up than I thought...” She muttered in embarrassment.

“Why? What just happened?” I asked confusedly as her marehood stopped its frantic clenching.

“... A... Are you a virgin? How do you not know what just happened?”

“I WAS.” I retorted angrily. Suddenly she put on a huge, victorious smile.

“I... was your first?” She asked with barely suppressed happiness growing in her voice. "There's no way! You must be kidding!"

“Shut up! My first time was supposed to be special!”

“No wonder you came so much! That was your first sexual orgasm! Ooooooh! This is absolutely amazing!”

“Yeah, for you maybe...” I grumbled.

“This changes a lot! I’ve gotta make this extra special now! I’m not stopping until I’m filled with your cum, taking every last drop! Inside...” She leaned in and nipped at my earlobe. “and out...”

“... Was that supposed to be special for you or me?” I asked.

“Yes!” She hissed excitedly. I groaned, not looking forward to the next hour and a half. She started raising herself off me, not stopping her light nips on my ear. I made a point to have no reaction at all as she nearly raised herself off of me, only to slam herself back down.

“Is that all you got?” I asked, straining to sound bored. She snorted and seemed to get a little angry. Suddenly, she was moving up and down rapidly, grunting and moaning without stop. I valiantly fought to keep from reacting, but occasionally a moan or hiss of pleasure escaped me. Every noise I made seemed to boost her confidence and lust, driving her to move faster and harder. Her breathing escalated rapidly, and after another few minutes, she started shaking.

“I-I’m cumming!” She shouted, slamming herself down roughly. I hadn’t wanted to admit it even to myself, but she was really good. When she came, I failed to keep up my visage and moaned loudly with her. As her marehood clenched me mercilessly, stimulating my member and drenching me in her girlcum, I couldn’t help but be brought to the very edge of orgasm as well. Luckily, her orgasm finished before I did.

“H-heh, what’s the matter? Suddenly can’t handle me?” I asked as she collapsed on my chest. As if she knew how close I was, she bucked her hips one last time, catching me off guard and driving me over the edge with her. “Aaah-Aaaaaahhhhhhh!” I shouted, unable to resist the urge to buck my hips into her, thrusting myself into the deepest reaches of her marehood. I exploded again, painting her insides with my seed as I came uncontrollably.

“Hee hee, see? I told you, I’m going to take it all...”

“You bitch...” I cursed tiredly, my body trying to relax before the energy revitalized me again. I was hard inside her once more.

“Oooooh, starting with names now? Is that the best one you’ve got?” She teased.

“Oh, believe me, I’ve got a few choice words in mind.” The dragoness grinned at me.

“Really? Well, lay ‘em on me hero!” She challenged as she started bucking her hips slowly.

“You’re a slut, and it’s sad that you had to buy sex!” I jeered at her challenge, hoping against hope that insulting her would make her leave.

“Oooh, yeah, keep going, that wasn’t even hurtful!” She sped up a little, making my focus blur as the pleasure increased.

“You’re a worthless little whore that needs to be locked up!” I retorted harshly, amping up the insult as much as I could in my quickly dulling thoughts.

“Aaah, yeah, keep going!” She moaned as she started moving even faster, blurring my thoughts to near the point of losing coherency.

“Y-you’re a bad girl that needs to be punished!” I cried with a surprising amount of lust in my voice. It was the worst insult I could think of in my current state.

“Yes! Yes! Spank my flanks and call me a bad little hatchling!” She ordered, suddenly my arms fell to my sides. She waved a little key at me with a smile. My first thought was to push her away, but my body didn’t allow me to control it. Some sort of primal desire had taken over, forcing me to place my hands on her flanks and help her slide up and down, amplifying the force.

“You’re a bad little hatchling! You deserve this!” I felt myself shout as I slapped one of her flanks roughly. Her back arched up and she started shaking again, but I couldn’t force my body to stop. “Bad! Bad! Bad!” I shouted, accenting each shout with alternating slaps to her flanks. I saw what I was doing, and I hated it. I couldn't stop myself though.

“Yes! Yes! Oh sweet Celestia, yes!” She whined, already ceasing her orgasm and building up to another one. She started clenching me purposely as I slid her up, milking me for my seed. Each slap on her flanks caused her to clench extra hard and increased my pleasure. In a matter of minutes, I grabbed tightly onto both of her flanks and slammed her bottom into my hips as hard as I could, causing my balls to slap against her ass.

“I’m cumming!” I shouted again. The dragoness nodded in ecstasy.

“M-me too! I want it all inside me! I love you, hero!” She shouted all at once as she started orgasming again, her frantic clenching driving me over the edge. I came even deeper inside her than before, in her womb this time I guessed. I came even harder than ever before, pouring the last of my baby-batter into her roughly. I kept cumming and cumming, eventually I pulled out of her. My seed and her girlcum poured out a little, slightly covering my lap. My cock stood erect, still flared and jerking roughly, trying to cum when I had none left. I fell back against the wall and the dragoness re-cuffed me before I regained my senses.

“W-wha...” I muttered exhaustedly as my thoughts returned to my control. I gasped in horror as I realized what I had done. “N-no...”

“Yes hero, you did that. I didn’t even have to force you at the end there.” She giggled victoriously. I gagged in disgust.

“W-what kind of magic was that! Nothing ever made me lose control like that!” I demanded.

“Magic? I used no magic! That’s just what sex is like.” She explained. “It’s so fun, it can make you lose yourself sometimes.”

“T-that’s a lie! I would never be tricked by something that simple!”

“Sorry, but it seems like even you aren’t immune to the effects of horniness and lust. You just came in me of your own free will.”

“No... No...” I muttered dumbly, pleading to myself that it wasn’t true. No matter how I thought about it, I knew she was. “For all I am... For all my strength... I can still be controlled by a little sex...” I murmured in horror. “Some hero I am...”

“Hee hee, controlled? I had to suck you off, fuck you once, and get mid-way through another fuck before I could even trust you with your hands! I even kept your legs chained up in case you still tried to run!”

“I still did it... I’m no better than my ex...” I muttered. I was a cheater now too. I had fucked another mare of my own free will while I was supposed to be loyal to the other girls. I was disgusted with myself.

“Oh come on, you can’t really feel bad about having a little fun!”

“Like hell I can’t! You know what? I think it’s best you leave now. I’m outta cum anyway.” I muttered angrily. She gasped fakely.

“Out of cum?! That simply won’t do!” She trotted away from me, wetness trailing down her hind legs. She picked up a small sack I hadn’t noticed she had brought in. “This’ll fix that right up!” She giggled as she took a small bottle with a blue liquid in it out of the sack.

“If you really think I’m dumb enough to drink that, you’ve got another thing coming.”

“Oh please hero, I’m not that stupid. The only thing I’ll have coming, is you!” She uncapped the bottle and poured it on my groin. She dropped down and started rubbing it in quickly, the liquid disappearing in seconds. With my strength returning from the electricity in my body, I managed to struggle a little, but all I could really do was twist and turn.

“Alright, you poured stuff on me, big deal.” I grunted in annoyance. My legs were wet enough without her pouring more stuff on me.

“Don’t act so dumb hero, I’m sure you know that was more than me just pouring things.”

“Fine, I’m going to assume it’s some sort of potion that stimulates testicles into producing sperm at a faster rate?”

“Not just faster, but exponentially faster. Your balls will be filled to the brim in seconds.”

“That’s... Why the heck is there a potion like that?”

“It’s actually a two-part potion for married couples. One makes a female more fertile, and I just told you what the male one does. Obviously it’s intended for foal production, but it works for my purposes.” She raised her flanks over me again, but I twisted to the side.

“Great, so I’ve got cum now. Unfortunately for you, your energy thing has backfired. I can avoid you now.” I countered with a smug smile. She returned my smile twofold, worrying me a little.

“Oh, I wouldn’t recommend that. You see, it has a nasty side effect. It’s not really a problem for married stallions, but if you don’t get release, your balls will actually explode. Likely causing you to die from blood loss.” A look of stunned horror overtook my face.

“S-so... I... I have to... or I’ll die?!” I exclaimed. She nodded happily and I looked away in shame. "F-fine... j-just do it..." I muttered defeatedly. The dragoness clucked her tounge disapprovingly.

“Now now, that’s not a very nice way to ask me to save your life...” She giggled huskily.

“What?”

“Why don’t you try asking nicely?”

“N-no!”

“Well, then have fun dying of lack of balls...”

“Grrrr.... Hmmm... Uhhh... dammit... O-ok... W-would you mind helping me?” I asked, feeling broken and dirty. She tapped her chin thoughtfully.

“Hmmm... I’m not so sure you really want it. Try sounding more... excited.”

“Fine! Can we rut?” I asked, using a dirtier word hoping it would suffice. I could feel my balls filling up just like she had said.

“Hmmm... Ok! But! We’re doing this my favorite way...” She trailed off, lifting her tail to me. I wasn’t quite sure what she meant, until she started lightly stretching her smaller hole with a hoof.

“WHAT?! Hell no! There’s no way!” She turned her rump away from me.

“Oh, my bad. I was under the impression you wanted to live.”

“I-I do! I’d just much prefer it wasn’t anal...”

“Well, I guess you don’t like your balls intact then.”

"No, no! I didn't mean it! It's f-fine!"

“Oh ho ho, you want it now huh? Well maybe I don’t now! You were just very rude about my favorite type of sex! I think you’re going to have to beg for me now.”

“What?!” I could feel slight pressure in my balls now.

“You heard me, beg to fuck me in the ass...” She purred lustily.

“T-that’s too much! I-I can’t b-beg for that!”

“I don’t think you have much of a choice, hero.” She smiled smugly with lowered eyelids. “Either you beg me to let you fuck me in the ass, or you lose your balls. Your choice.” I struggled for awhile to think if it was worth it. Honestly, if it didn’t most likely lead to my death, I would have said no. I sighed deeply.

“Please let me rut you...” I muttered.

“I’m sorry, what was that?”

“Please, let me rut you!” I shouted, straining to keep the anger out of my voice.

“Oh, that was much better! Now, where would you like to rut me hero?”

“... I... I wanna... I wanna fuck you in the ass...” I forced myself to say, sending a silent plea for forgiveness out to the girls, as if they could hear it.

“Oh hero, that’s so dirty of you to ask! Why, seeing as how you’re the hero, I see no way to refuse a request like that!” She took out the key again, unlocking me entirely. “Now, go ahead and have your fun!” She cheered. “But fair warning, try anything funny, and I’ll have guards in here before you can thrust twice.” I grinded my teeth together, anger filling me. Not only was she forcing me to do this, but now she was forcing me to make it happen on my own!

“F-fine...” I muttered in total humiliation. My balls were feeling really tight and swelling now, I had no other choice. I stood on my knees to keep my rod at the same height as her ass, moving quickly to save time. I lined myself up to her smaller entrance, bracing myself reluctantly. I prodded at it, still stalling at my own risk.

“Oh for the love of Celestia, hurry up and rut me before I change my mind!” She yelled impatiently. I pressed the tip of my manhood into her roughly, trying to gain entrance. With a tiny popping noise, the head of my dick slipped into her, causing her to lay her chest on the ground and groan. I moaned a little at the surprising tightness.

“D-don’t just stay there! Keep going!” She urged desperately. I was tempted to leave her hanging, seeing how desperately she wanted this, but I knew I had to keep going anyway. I forced myself further into the tight cave, trying to immerse myself in the pleasure as much as I could to get off quickly, but the natural toughness I had gained from the miasma was actually dulling the pleasure I could have been getting. She groaned lowly and pawed at the stone floor lightly with a forehoof.

“Ugh, I can’t believe I’m doing this...” I mumbled gruffly. The dragoess snickered, but it turned into a moan as I bottomed out in her bottom. She was mind-numbingly tight, and each time she squeezed it was like she was stretching me out and pulling me in even farther. It was dry and hot, making it really rough and extra pleasurable because of the added friction. The dragoness started biting her hoof as she clawed at the ground and moaned loudly. I could tell how wet she was from the moist slaps of my balls against her marehood.

“I’m cumming!” She shouted suddenly as I sawed in and out of her. Her ass clenched down on my manhood like a vice, severely slowing me down in my thrusts, but increasing my pleasure greatly. I couldn’t help but moan openly now as lust took over my thoughts again. I hunched over her and used my hands to help push her back and forth, slamming her into my hips with increasing speed. she started to whine and buck her hips backward into me.

“L-like this?” I asked, no idea why I did. She whinnied loudly.

“Y-yes! Yes hero! Deeper! Harder!” She screamed eagerly, starting to pound the cell floor. I obeyed her to the best of my abilities, thrusting my hips in time with her bucking, filling her hungry body with my rod every time I thrusted in. My breathing hastened as I picked up my pace even more, racing to my finish. The dragoness squirmed underneath me, moaning and whining for me to fuck her harder. I hunched over even further, my stomach on her back now.

"Ah... ahh.... I'm g-getting close..." I panted into her ear. She moaned thunderously and came again. I wasn't sure if she even understood me. My balls were actually causing me some pain now, but every thrust into the dragoness' tight, greedy ass brought me closer and closer, regrettably. As her orgasm ceased, she stopped clenching her ass as much.

"D-dammit! Cum already!" The dragoness ordered. In response, I looped my arms around her forelegs, lifted her into the air, and started slamming her down into me as I came. She twisted a bit and bit my arm as I pounded into her, not an attack bite, just her trying to keep from crying out. I slammed her thick flanks into my hips with a resounding *smack* that echoed through the halls. I came again, this orgasm being far longer and taking much more seed than any before, likely due to the effects of the potion. I came inside her, filling her final hole with my seed, making that all three in one night. I started pulling out eventually, thinking myself done.

“Now, I’ve done what you wanted, so just le--” The dragoness clenched down on me harshly. She released her bite on my arm as she started to grind on me.

“We’re done, when I say we’re done. Besides, there’s no way that potion has worn off yet.” I sighed ruefully.

“I don’t really like saying this, but I officially hate you.” I informed her with a deadpan voice and empty glare. She didn’t deserve an emotional reaction. The dragoness seemed to falter.

“H-hate?” She mumbled. “Y-you don’t m-mean that...”

“What? You must be joking. You came in here, raped me, and then forced me to do it myself in order to live!” She seemed hurt.

“B-but... Didn’t you have fun?” She asked, suddenly sounding unsure.

"Fun? I was RAPED. I didn't have any fun."

"Y=you... you were doing it yourself earlier... Y-you weren't supposed to hate me!!" She whined, sounding increasingly panicky. She seemed to have totally forgotten my dick was lodged in her ass still.

“What the hell were you expecting?!”

“I-I wanted you to like me! I thought... I thought maybe if I could show you what it’s like to be with a dragon like me...”

“Then what? What was your plan past there? What was your plan past rape, huh?” A heavy blush crossed her face.

“W-we’d be happy and you’d decide to be with me...”

“... That plan has some SERIOUS holes in it.” She looked away shamefully as I felt my anger and hatred decreasing slightly.

“I... What else was I supposed to do?”

“I dunno, maybe find me and try to start a relationship rather than jump to rape?” She started grinding on me again, she seemed lost in thought though, so I didn’t think she intended to.

“I don’t know where you live! Even then, I’d have no idea where to start. We dragons are very... physical beings. I’ve never had a relationship that extended past sex with any male...”

“So you decided coming in here and having sex would start a relationship?”

“... Yes... Why, is that not how that works?”

“No, no it is not.” She started sliding up and down again, making it harder to focus, but I kept my attention on her.

“Then... I’m sorry... I didn’t want to do anything bad... That’s just what I’m used to... I... I j-just wanted you to like me... but now you hate me...”

“Well ah, I can’t forgive you easily, b-ugh but I’ll get over it a lot faster knowing you meant no harm.”

“Still though... all I really wanted was for you to like me...” She said with a strained voice as he increased her speed. I had to struggle to not react now. I had finally gotten her to talk about her reasons, and I wasn’t about to ruin it by interrupting and ridiculing her.

“S-sorry, but mmm... that’ll be a bit more difficult than, ahh!, forgiveness.” I stuttered, small gasps interrupting my speech.

“R-really? J-just more ugh! difficult? N-not impossible?” She asked excitedly, her speech similarly marred by gasps.

“Well don’t g-get your hopes up...” I hissed lowly after I finished my sentence. The dragoness smiled happily.

“W-why wouldn’t I? After ahhhhh!” The mare paused for a moment to catch her breath. She was near orgasm again. “Y-you’re letting me do this now...” She whispered as she sped up even more.

“Only because I wanted to keep you talking, and I still need to cum unless I want to die.” I explained easily, throwing the mare off a little. I guessed she thought she had been tricking me into consenting.

“Oh... Oh oh oh oh ahhhhhhh!” She whined, squeezing me with her ass again. While the squeezing brought me a lot of pleasure, the dragoness stopped moving while she came. In order to keep my pleasure up and finish myself faster, I lifted her off of me and laid her on the ground. I held myself over her and started thrusting myself, slamming into her flanks and causing her to scream and squirm in delight.

“Sorry, y-you stopped moving...” I explained.

“Oh Celestia yes! Am I ever glad I did! Keep going, please!” She cried, apparently not mad that I had taken control officially. I sighed, still unhappy with the situation, even though I understood her motives now. I continued making love to her, actually trying to make love for her benefit. I knew we’d never really be together, especially after this, but I figured I already had to do this, so why not make it fun? I lifted my hands off of the ground where they had been supporting me.

“S-since I’m forced t-to do this...” I mumbled to her. “I’m going to do it well...” I thought for a moment, taking advantage of my lust-filled thoughts to figure out how I could make this better. Since her belly was facing me, I saw two little bumps above her marehood. I reached down curiously and brushed one.

“Ah!” She gasped quickly. Obviously I had found some sort of pleasure center. I grabbed one and rolled it between my thumb and forefinger. Her squirming got worse, and her moans came even faster. I hadn’t noticed it before, but her coat was matted down with sweat. Already knowing another pleasure center of hers, I moved my other hand down to her marehood.

“Now that I think about it, this might be good practice...” I muttered to myself. I started prodding her marehood with my index finger, twisting my wrist at an odd angle to prevent myself from ramming my own hand with my stomach. The dragoness whimpered desperately. I started thrusting my finger into her at the same time as I tweaked her nipple and took her ass for a ride. She wasn’t moaning anymore, she could only scream happily as she tossed her hooves behind her head, surrendering her body to me.

“Oh yes! Please, don’t ever stop! I love you so much hero!” She screamed, another orgasm causing her hot, wetter cave to clamp down on my finger at the same time her ass clamped down on my manhood. The pleasure was starting to drive me insane, filling my thoughts with only the desire to use the dragoness’ body to sate myself. I removed my finger and stopped teasing her nipple in favor of supporting myself as I lowered my upper body right over her.

“Heh heh, this wouldn’t have anything to do with that, would it?” I asked, halting my thrusts for a moment with me entirely inside her, filling her up.

“T-that’s not why... but it certainly makes you all the better!” She gasped happily. I was still disgusted at the event, but at least it wasn’t as bad as it could have been. It was kind of fun, no matter how much I denied it to myself. The dragoness had stopped doing anything all together beneath me, she just let her tongue loll out and gazed off in the distance. I had a sudden idea. I tried picturing each of the girls that liked me in the dragoness’ place, in an attempt to see if I had one that I would favor above the others. To my great irritation, I liked the idea of all of them displayed like this beneath me. There was one I could picture better though, not because of a greater fondness for her, but simply because the fact the her and the dragoness were a bit alike.

“Oooh... RD...” I moaned as I closed my eyes and pictured the fiery pegasus in the dragoness’ place. Luckily for me, the dragoness didn’t speak and ruin my imaginary replacement lover. With RD in my eyes, and the lust overtaking my mind, I think I actually bought my own lie. I leaned forward blindly and started kissing her neck lovingly.

“Oooh... oooh...” ‘RD’ found the energy to moan. I finally managed to reach my peak, my love for RD making it much easier to enjoy myself.

“I-I’m gonna...” I moaned.

“P-pull it out...” The mare begged, ruining my image of RD with her speech. I frowned and opened my eyes, panting heavily as I pulled out of the dragoness. She rolled over and started rubbing my throbbing rod as fast as she could, throwing me just over the edge of orgasm. I screamed a little as I came yet again. The first spurt landed right in the middle of the dragoness’ open, waiting mouth and on a good part of her face. She fell on her back as I continued cumming, managing to lock her hind hooves on my manhood and continue to stroke the cum out of me.

“Time’s up!” A guard showed up at the cell door as I came all over the dragoness, covering her with load after load of my seed. She moaned the whole time while tracing her hooves along the floor contentedly. The guard quickly turned bright red and backed off. I finally finished cumming when the dragoness was almost half white.

“S-so much cum...” She moaned with satisfaction. I quickly got away from her and pulled my skirt on now that I could feel that the potion had worn off.

“Yes, now go. The guard said your time is up.” I ordered callously. I didn’t want to be near her any longer than I had to be.

“Ok... but... I’ll see you again hero. I still have to work on getting you to like me after all!” I groaned unhappily as she trotted out of the cell.

Nopony jump to any conclusions, he specifically said he only imagined RD because she was the most like the dragon.

Skip, Skip

Hey. Well, my plans for the Arena got a bit... screwed, pardon the pun. I kept in what has been written and the rape scene for character development, continuity, laziness, lols, and to knock that gary stu-ish protagonist down a peg with a pretty solid defeat. The defeat being the rape. Anyway, I'm resuming the story from right after the Arena, assuming he beat it overall and is on his way out of the empire with his prize. You know, Gilda.

I stepped out of the Arena finally, waiting for Gilda to show up and meet me like the King had said. It felt good to be back in my old armor with my old weapons, instead of chained to a wall in a leather skirt. After a long wait, Gilda finally met me at the edge of the Arena, right where the stone turned to clouds again.

"Sharky! You did it!" She cried happily, throwing herself at me for a hug. I sidestepped her hug neatly and allowed her to crash into the floor.

"I uhh... I'd like to not be touched for awhile." I mumbled numbly.

"Ow! You coulda caught me at least!"

"Sharky! You did it!" RD called from somewhere just outside of my sight.

"Don't try to hug me please." I asked cautiously.

"Yeah, sure she gets a warning..." Gilda grumbled. RD landed by my side and gave me a curious look.

"Why can't I hug you? I've been worried sick about you for two days!" She asked, sounding a bit upset.

"Look... just... something happened."

"What?" The two girls asked at the same time.

"I don't wanna talk about it."

"Why not?" They asked, still in sync.

"Because. Now, can I hold one of you to g--"

"Me!" Gilda interrupted.

"I haven't even told you what I wanted to hold you for yet..."

"Doesn't matter." Gilda flew over to me and fell into my arms.

"... Okaaaaay, but don't reach out and touch me or anything. Just keep still."

"Aww, that's no fun."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing."

"... Okaaaaay."

"Hey! That's not fair! You should hold me, I'm your marefriend!" RD protested bitterly. I gave her a little glare.

"Not this week. Also, don't even think I've forgotten about that little stunt where you basically stole one of Twilight's days. I'm not thrilled with you right now." I finished by cutting off my glare and looking off in a random direction. I heard RD gulp noisily. Suddenly it occurred to me that I had no ride off of this hunk of clouds. I balanced Gilda in one arm and whipped out my phone. I almost called Luna, but decided not to bother her and called Esmerelda instead.

"Sharky? You're calling?" Esmerelda asked startledly before her face even really finished coming into focus on my phone.

"Yeah, I'm calling."

"Really? I thought you were mad at me..."

"To be honest, I can't even remember why I would be mad at you. A lot has happened. Look, can you come here and fly my friends and I back to Ponyville?"

"O-of course! I'll be there in just a bit!"

"Ok, meet us at the Arena. I believe you know where it... Oh yeah, that's why I was mad." I suddenly realized. It didn't really matter anymore though. "Oh well, meet us at the Arena."

"You got it, bye!"

"Bye." I hung up and put my phone away again. "Well, now that I won't be having to walk on the clouds anywhere, I can stop this." I placed Gilda on the ground next to RD and stepped away from both of them.

"Alright, seriously Sharky, what happened?" RD asked, her voice heavy with concern.

"Nothing."

"Don't lie to me."

"Don't keep asking questions I'm not going to answer." I retorted back with a bit of venom. Without looking at her, I could almost feel her recoil and flatten her ears.

"Dude... chill." Gilda said cautiously, as though she were afraid I'd lash out at her too. Without even bothering to say anything, I sat down and cross my arms disinterestedly.

"He's a bit of a bitch right now. I'll be plenty happy to talk if you'd like." Steven offered.

"Steven? Why do you almost sound... nice?" RD asked. I ignored her, knowing she wasn't talking to me.

"Got to kill. Kill swag makes me happy."

"Do you know why he's acting like this?" Gilda asked.

"Tell them and you get to spend eternity as a block of ice in my head." I threatened. "... No, I'm required to say I don't." RD and Gilda sighed. We spent the rest of the time waiting for Esmerelda in tense silence. When Esmerelda arrived, the tension was so thick I was half wondering if Gilda and RD had choked on it. Her arrival was heralded by her massive wingbeats, and soon she was over the Arena.

"Sharkyyyyyy!" She called, presumably searching for me.

"Over here!" I boomed back as loudly as I could. Esmerelda's wingbeats grew louder as she approached, and soon her head came into view.

"Oh my gosh! How are you?"

"Look, I'd hate to talk, but we need to get to Ponyille now. Twilight's gonna kill me already as it is."

"Don't you mean you'd lo--"

"I know what I said." I interrupted. Esmerelda gave me a curious stare, but eventually just lowered her head and allowed us to get on her. The girls sat rather far from me, but I didn't really care. Esmerelda took off, and we started the flight in silence.

After a few hours of agonizingly silent flight, we finally arrived in Esmerelda's cave. She leaned down to allow us to dismount, and we started to leave the cave immediately. Before I actually jumped over the ledge and started to climb down, Esmerelda piped up.

"S-Sharky?" She squeaked nervously. I turned towards her as RD and Gilda took off.

"Yes?"

"Umm... C-could you come see me sometime soon? I mean... I know you likely don't want to b--"

"Sure. Why not?"

"W-what?!"

"Yeah, I could use some time with a friendly dragon." I turned back to the ledge and lowered myself to the face of the mountain. Esmerelda shouted something after me, but by that time I was too far and disinterested to care what it was. After a few minutes of climbing and running, I found myself back in town. I was nearly instantaneously swarmed by newsponies asking me questions about my victory and what I planned to do now. After repressing an urge to say, 'I'm going to Disney World!', I ignored them and walked right through the crowd. After a few more seconds, I arrived at the door of the library, let myself in, and slammed the door in the faces of the reporters.

"Hello..." A voice, Twilight's, said behind me with quiet anger.

"Hi."

"So... How was abandoning me for two da--" I ran over to her and picked her up in a hug from her chair in the corner right after I tossed my weapons to the side hastily.

"It was horrible Twilight, absolutely horrible!" I started to sob into her shoulder. I had lifted her so high her shoulder as even with my head.

"W-wha--"

"I'm starting your week over, totally over! I'm so sorry I left!"

"Sharky... W-what happened?" Twilight whispered, all the anger gone from her voice.

"I-I don't want to talk about it... just let me hug you..." I pleaded, feeling broken. I had been forced to fight, humiliated, beaten, raped, and generally been treated like an animal for the past two days. Even I could only handle so much; in fact, I was surprised I had made it to my marefriend, Twilight, before breaking down. For some reason, my mind got stuck on the sudden realization that Twilight was my marefriend. We were officially dating. She had hugged me back, but I pushed her away slightly.

"S-Sharky?" She asked unsurely, thrown off by my sudden rejection. Then I pulled her forward into a kiss. A real kiss, not one she had to take, or a peck on the cheek. For the first time, I kissed her. For about half a moment, Twilight seemed surprised. Then she threw her legs around my neck and kissed me back furiously. She seemed eager and impatient with the kiss, her tounge invading my mouth almost right off the bat. I gratefully accepted her and kissed her back just as fiercely, almost as if I were trying to rid myself of all traces of the dragoness with Twilight's kiss. After what felt like mere moments, but was likely much longer, she pulled away from me.

"W-why'd you stop?" I whined. Twilight seemed a bit unsure herself.

"Sharky... I don't like feeling like you're hiding something. What happened to you? I know you were in the Arena, but other than that all I know is you left me alone during our time..."

"Twilight... I didn't want to leave you. Look, here's the story. While I was out with RD, we decided to stop by her house for a moment. Gilda wanted to talk to me. While I was there, some assassins tried to kill Gilda. Well, Gilda, RD, and I anyway. Mainly Gilda though." I started. Twilight smirked a little.

"Well, I already feel sorry for them." She joked.

"Heh heh, well I beat the tar out of them and learned who sent t- These are gryffins by the way. Just so you know.- Who sent them. All they were able to tell me was a first name: 'Byron'. You heard of him?"

"No, I don't think I've ever heard that name."

"Well shoot, still no leads. Anyway, I decided I'd go to the King of the Gryffin Empire and ask if I could officially declare that Gilda was under my protection."

"To scare off any more attempts on her life. I see."

"Yes. Well, the King decided he didn't think I was worthy--"

"Has he not seen your mission reports?!"

"I think he has, and he just doesn't like me. Anyway, he told me the only way to prove my worth to him was to enter the Arena and win."

"Oh, so that's why you were there! I knew you had to be doing it for somepony, I just couldn't imagine who."

"Well, not quite done with the story. I'm getting to what happened." My voice was quickly becoming shakier. "What he didn't tell me was that I'd be entering the Arena... as a prisoner."

"He took your armor and weapons then. You likely spent most of your time there chained up in a cell, right?" Twilight asked, starting to sound angry.

"Yes. Well, what he also didn't tell me, was that he was going to make me take part in the... more... Ah screw it, he was selling me off for sex each night." Twilight's face contorted into an expression of rage. "The first night, I fended the bidder off pretty easily. The second night... he split my night sixteen different ways." Twilight's breathing was becoming heavy. "I... I fought them all off... using mainly my thundraga... but then... a lightning dragon came and... and..." I found myself unable to speak, and instead I retched a bit.

"Sharky... put me down." Twilight hissed through her teeth. Deciding it was best to do as she said, I placed her on the ground. "Spike!" She screeched. There was some muffled thumps upstairs and the little dragon came running down in moments.

"T-Twilight? What's wrong?!" He sounded like he had just woken up. I felt the manly tears welling up in my eyes vanish. I didn't want Spike to see me like I had been.

"Get a quill and parchment, I need to send a letter." Twilight continued hissing.

"To Celestia right?"

"Yes, I have something to tell her about the Gryffin King."

"Oh nonononono, I don't want you to start anything!" I interrupted. Twilight whipped around to look at me and there were actually little flames in her eyes.

"Sharky, you're a high-ranking knight in the Equestrian Army, and he did that to you. I'm not starting this, I'm having it ended." She turned back to Spike, who was now holding a quill and parchment. He cowered a little under her enraged stare. I walked over and stepped between her and Spike.

"Twilight, calm down. This doesn't need to go like this, ok? Let's just forget about it." Twilight's anger seemed to waver a bit.

"F-forget? About something like that?! How can you even say that?"

"Because, it's in the past now." I knealt down and hugged her. "Right now, I'm here with you. I'm not stuck there, and I got what I wanted. Sure, I never wanted anything like that to happen. Sure, it'll take me a while to get over it completely. I'd rather just make new memories here with you and the others than dwell on that one though, ok?" I finished. Twilight shook her head and seemed to regain her senses.

"You're right... I don't know what came over me. Spike, you can go back. I'm sorry if I scared you." Spike, still a bit intimidated and confused, slowly left and went back upstairs. "Ugh... I still can't believe we're just letting him get away with that..." Twilight pouted. "*sigh* Well, new memories huh?"

"Uh-huh."

"What kind?"

"Just any good memories really. That kiss earlier... that was a good one."

"Oh... I'm glad you liked it." Twilight blushed a little.

"Heh heh, it was great. A few more things like that and I'll be just fine."

"Sooo... Making good memories will help you feel better?"

"Yeah, the better the memory, the better I get as far as I'm concerned."

"Really... Hmmm..." Twilight's face slowly forms a sly smile. "Well..." She frowned. "Wait... you're abstinent."

"Not any more. That got messed up for me." I corrected bitterly.

"Oh right... maybe now isn't the best time for that."

"Best time for what?"

"Nothing, nothing. Don't know why it even crossed my mind."

"... What crossed your mind?" I couldn't help but feel incredibly interested in what she had been thinking of.

"It's nothing important at all, really. Just forget I said anything, it was stupid."

"Ok... ok. Can we do that cuddling and kissing thing again?" I asked hopefully, sending out silent plea that she was still in the mood for it. I fell back on the floor as Twilight kissed me mid-tackle.

Dinner Date (Finally)

"Dear Celestia that was great..." Twilight murmured wistfully as she laid on my chest. I ran a hand through her already messed-up mane comfortingly as I leaned further into the bed.

"It was nice..." I agreed. The past few minutes, maybe even hours, had been spent kissing passionately. We had only bothered to stop long enough to send Spike to Rarity's house that way we could use the beds. They were much more comfortable than the wooden floor.

"Why'd you have to stop?" She whined, sounding more teasing than actually upset. I had eventually pulled away from Twilight. She was way more passionate about it than me, and as a result I needed breaks more often than her. After all, she had been basically in the same room with somepony she was in love with for months without being able to do a thing. This was still new for me though.

"Well, I need to breathe!" I retorted back equally playfully. Twilight wiggled herself in even closer to me.

"You could always use your nose..." Twilight leaned in more and hung her lips just over mine. I gave her a quick, teasing kiss and sat up. Twilight rolled back suddenly and ended up laying on her back on my legs. "Whoa!"

"Let's go out." I said suddenly.

"Out? Where?" Twilight asked as she rolled to her hooves.

"I dunno, on a date or something. The only time we've ever been out for a dinner or something like that was with your brother."

"Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"Why wouldn't it be?"

"Well, I don't know if you've noticed, but there's an army of press ponies outside the house. If we go out, everypony will know we're dating..." Twilight looked away shamefully suddenly.

"... Aaaaaaaand?"

"You don't mind that?"

"Why the hell would I?"

"Well..." Twilight looked back to me. "You just always get mad when you see articles about us girls with you, or when somepony says Rarity was your marefriend. I-I assumed you didn't want to be seen wit--" I kissed her suddenly before she could finish. After only a few seconds, I broke away again.

"Twilight, I didn't want you girls to be... I dunno, stuck with me. Back then I thought you weren't interested. I didn't want you all to be stuck in something because of the press. I would be honored to have you known as my marefriend. Hell, let them make a giant sign and a movie about it for all I care."

"But... You're only dating me for a week..."

"Well, after that they can tear down that giant sign and make a new one for 'Shy, but until then it's all about us."

"R-really?" Twilight blushed.

"Well, really more about you. My job this week is to determine if you're a better marefriend than the others would be."

"... Then shouldn't I be doing things for you?"

"When the hell have you known me to be happy receiving things?"

"Good point."

"Now then, let's go to a nice place to eat, huh?"

"Sure, let me just get ready."

"Why? You look fine."

"My mane and coat are more tangled than Steven's emotions!"

"Hey! Nice one! I don't care."

"But the other ponies will th--"

"Why should you care?"

"Because you'll look like you're dating a--"

"Do I look like I care what they think?" I asked, giving her my most blank stare.

"N-no..."

"Well then, forget how you look and what they think. Let's just go out and enjoy ourselves."

"What if I enjoy looking pretty? Or at least not looking like a wreck..."

"Twilight, you're already beautiful!" I protested. Twilight stroked her tangled mane doubtfully.

"Y-you're just saying that." She mumbled. I sighed, typical femenine self-doubt. I could keep arguing, or just give up and get to go to dinner sooner.

--2 hours later--

Twilight trotted around happily, her mane was straightened and she had put on mascara, a tiny bit of dark pink blush, a little pale green eyeliner, and some darkish purple eyeshadow. It had only taken about 10 minutes for her to apply, and 1 hour and 50 minutes for me to finally lose the argument.

"Are you sure we shouldn't stop by Rarity's place to ask for a dress or something?" Twilight asked skeptically. I threw up my hands.

"We are not starting this again!" I walked over to her position in front of the bathroom mirror, picked her up, and started walking towards the stairs. Then I turned back around, went to my bed, pulled a handful of coins out from the giant bag under it, and continued walking out.

"H-hey! Be careful, you're going to mess it up! Oooooh, I haven't even styled my mane yet!"

"You. Look. Fine. STFU, your whining is gonna piss me off again."

"But Sharkyyyyyyyyy!"

"Oh look, the front door." I remarked casually as I reached out to open it. Twilight went stiff in my grasp.

"No no no no no no no! I'm not ready!" I tossed the door open and welcomed the onslaught of flashes.

"Too late!" I shouted over the rapid-fire questions. Most of them still revolved around the Arena, but that soon changed when they noticed the dolled-up mare in my arms. "Hey! Anypony know a good place for a dinner date?!" I screamed over the voices. The reporters only got more excited.

"Oh, the little 'Dina's Diner' in town is really photogeni-- Errr, has great food!" One reporter managed to shout over the others. Since it was the only suggestion I could hear and understand, I decided to go there. Twilight was still completely rigid in my grasp all the way into the main part of town. I located the diner easy enough with the pointing of the reporters, who had seemed to grasp that I was on a date and that they could get great pictures if I got where I was going. It was a relatively tall building, for a pony-made structure anyway. The sign was a giant plate of salad with the words 'Dina's Diner' scrawled elegantly along the bottom curve of the plate in red letters.

"This place look good to you Twi?"

"..."

"Silence is a form of consent!" I stepped forward and pulled the door open... too bad it was a 'push' door. Not that it didn't open for me, but rather I ripped the door off. "... Oops."

"H-hey! My door!" A voice shouted from inside the building. The reporters had stopped making any noise suddenly. A little magenta mare with a orange and white mane appeared at the door. Her cutie mark was a waiter's tray. "Who the heck do y'think you are?!" She asked indignantly as she looked up to me. Her eyes softened once she saw me.

"Uhhh.... S-sorry. I'll pay for it!"

"Darn right you are." She agreed, surprising me. "Later though, first I need to thank you."

"Huh?"

"You helped out my great-granddaughter."

"Pardon?"

"Strawberry. Strawberry Tart. You saved her life." I frowned, until suddenly the adorable little filly with the red mane and strawberry hairclip sprung into my memory.

"Oh! You're related to the Tarts?"

"Why yes, I am. Come in, come in. I'd like to get to speak with you." The mare stepped back and waved me in. I put the door back in its place as I walked into the building. The reporters seemed too stunned to react for a bit. "No entry without intent to eat." The mare announced to the reporters sweetly. They immediately began searching themselves for bits as the mare walked us to a clear table in the corner of the restauraunt. It was a small circle with just enough room for three ponies. In my case, one human and a pony.

"Ok Twi, here we are. I'm fairly sure the reporters can't see you." I placed Twilight carefully in a seat and sat across from her. She slowly untensed and the older mare chuckled at her.

"She a bit nervous?" The mare asked. I laughed at her sarcasm and nodded.

"What's your name miss?"

"Mrs. Tart. Dina, for the less formal."

"Oh, I figured you owned this place. That pretty much confirmed it."

"So... would you like to de-thaw that poor girl before you order drinks?" Dina asked, tapping Twilight carefully. "Not that it's any of my business, but are you two dating?"

"Yes ma'am."

"Pity. Blueberry was quite taken by your actions."

"... Not another one..." I mumbled.

"What was that dear?"

"Nothing. Twilight? It's ok to move now. Seriously, you're concerning me." Twilight slowly began to untense and sat down properly.

"Good, can't have such a pretty mare wasting the night all frozen up like that." Dina said comfortingly.

"Told you!" I shouted. Twilight's eyes were still wide with panic, but Dina turned to me in confusion.

"What?"

"She's was all frozen up like that because she's insanely nervous about how she looks. I spent the better part of a few hours trying to tell her she looked fine."

"Well, you can't really blame her for being nervous. I mean, she's out with you. That'd petrify any mare with worries about how they looked." She pointed out. I tilted my head and thought.

"Hmmm... I still think she didn't need to worry about how she looked."

"I agree, won't help her now though. Anyway, drinks?"

"Water is fine for me."

"A-apple j-juice..." Twilight managed to squeak.

"Hey! She returns to the world of the animate! Twilight, meet Dina. She owns this place."

"N-nice to meet you." Twilight extended a shaky hoof to Dina. Dina shook it gently, almost as if afraid Twilight would shatter with too much force.

"Got it, I'll be right back, then we can talk." Dina turns neatly and trots off. Then I noticed that every customer in the place is looking at Twilight and I. I ignored them and the line of reporters steadily flowing in.

"So, nice night huh?" I said to Twilight.

"What the heck is wrong with you?!" Twilight hissed.

"Well, I'm dead, I have two people in my head, I'm infused with magic from three different places, my son is--"

"I meant why did you drag me here before I was ready?!"

"Twilight, you look fine."

"No! No, I'm not wearing anything, my mane is boring--"

"Just stop talking and enjoy yourself."

"No!"

"Fine, then have a boring time at dinner where all you do is try and maintain your looks and be unhappy that you didn't make yourself prettier."

"..."

"Or you could just stop it, accept the fact that I think you're beautiful as you are, and have some fun."

"I suppose that makes sense." Twilight mulled.

"Here are your drinks." Dina announced. She placed a clear glass in front of me and another filled with amber liquid in front of Twilight. She pulled a chair up to the table and sat down. "A waiter will be by soon to take your orders. In the meantime, do you mind if I sit?"

"No, it's all good." I said.

"Y-- Fine." Twilight said at the same time.

"Good. Now, first things first. Thank you for saving my granddaughter."

"Who?" Twilight asked.

"A little filly I saved from some foalnappers in Canterlot. No big deal."

"Oh but it was a big deal. In their confessions, they said they were going to kill her! I still have a granddaughter thanks to you." Dina countered.

"It wasn't that big... Seriously, easy to handle."

"Well, it meant a lot. Thanks. Your meals are on me as a small token of my gratitude. Also, I've had all the cameras taken away from the reporters for your privacy. Not only that, but I've ordered all the tables within earshot of you two lovebirds remain clear. Enjoy your date!" Dina hopped out of her chair and moved it back.

"Wow Sharky, you really do a lot..." Twilight muttered.

"Oh, and I'll be sending you a bill for the door later!"

"Yes, yes I do." I grinned sheepishly.

"Well, now that we're alone, let's talk." Twilight stated quickly, obviously trying to ignore the door.

"Anything in particular you'd like to talk about?"

"Do I really look fine?"

"Twilight, you look great. Quit worrying. We're finally on a dinner date, and all you're doing is worrying about your look!"

"Well, I wanna look good for you!"

"Then do me a favor."

"What?"

"Next time, don't paint yourself. I can't stand make-up."

"Are... are you kidding me?!" She seethed quietly. "You couldn't have told me that before?!"

"I didn't think you'd listen. Plus it seemed really important to you."

"Give me your water!" She ordered. I handed it to her and she dipped her cloth napkin into it. A few moments later, she had wiped her face clean of the make-up. "There, how's that?"

"Beautiful." I said with a smile. Twilight returned my grin sheepishly.

"O-ok..." She muttered. I turned my head to the menu that had been laid out on the table.

"Now, what are you going to get?" I asked with a sort of strength in my voice, I was trying to get Twilight to do the same.

"I like the looks of the carrot fries and grilled cucumber."

"Sweet, I think I'm going to get some steamed broccoli. Maybe some carrot fries too."

"Noted, I'll have your order out soon." A new voice interrupted. I lifted my head just in time to see a cream-colored stallion leaving with a pad of paper.

"Well... he surprised me." Twilight admitted.

"Yeah, good timing. Anyway, how were things while I was gone?"

"To be honest, really lonely. Spike spent every second he could with Rarity and Fluttershy kept Unity most of the time."

"Aww, that's sad. What did you do?"

"I thought mostly. Read a little."

"What about?"

"Well, I found myself reading a lot of romance novels actually. Of course, I read the article about you in the Arena."

"Romance novels? Eh, not really my thing. I was more asking about what you were thinking about though." I clarified. Twilight gave me a curious look.

"You of course! I was worried sick! I was worried you'd get hurt, sick, lonely..."

"Not dead?" I asked. Twilight burst out laughing.

"Hahahahahaha! No, I was never worried about you dying!"

"Huh. Well."

"To be honest, mostly I was worried about you being lonely." She began rubbing her forehooves together nervously.

"Why?" I leaned forward a bit.

"Well... I was kind of hoping you were."

"... That's... Why?"

"I-I was hoping you w-were thinking of me too... wanting me to be there..."

"Heh heh, in the Arena? Fighting?"

"No! Just... there. You... you did think about me too, right?" She looked into my eyes and seemed to be begging for a 'yes'. I reached out and grabbed one of her hooves tenderly.

"All the time. I spent every moment wanting to get back to you guys faster. Other than in the fights of course, there I was mostly concerned about living." I answered honestly. Twilight smiled lightly.

"I love you." She told me. The words, even though I already knew and understood their presence, had a huge impact on me out loud. I smiled widely and leaned forward to kiss her. She met me halfway and we exchanged just a small kiss.

"Whooo!" Somepony shouted in the back. Twilight and I broke apart quickly with a few giggles.

"Heh heh, maybe we should reserve kissing for the house." I giggled.

"Why would we do that?" Twilight asked, her voice hinting of a desire for another kiss.

"Well, it's usually expected to restrain some affections in public, right?"

"Why should we care?" She asked teasingly, leaning forward again.

"Enjoy your meal!" The waiter stallion suddenly interrupted. He levitated two trays to us, and placed a tall, thin, white candle in the middle of the table. With a flash of his horn, the candle was lit. He left before I could even thank him.

"Oh good, I'm starving!" I exclaimed. I grabbed a fork and started chowing down on the broccoli. It was slightly buttery and perfectly soft. Really well cooked. Twilight frowned at me. "What?"

"Nothing."

"Ok." I went back to eating and I heard Twilight sigh. I swallowed and looked back up. "Seriously, what's up?"

"I wanted to kiss again!" She admitted angrily.

"Twilight, we've already kissed a lot. Plus we're in public, plus there's food. Why do you wanna kiss so much anyway?"

"Because I've got months to make up for! In a week!"

"Twilight, can I at least eat? I mean, I like it as much as you, but can we move a bit slower? I mean, this is all so new to me."

"O-ok. I g-guess." Twilight mumbled sadly. Then I went back to eating. A few minutes later, I remembered where I was, who I was talking to, and how lucky I was.

"W-what the hell am I saying?!" I dropped my fork, went over to Twilight, and dragged her chair so that it was right next to mine. I placed her food back in front of her and took my seat next to her.

"Sharky?"

"Shush, we've got months to make up for." I leaned down to her and kissed her again. We remained more reserved than in the house, but it was still nice. A few cat-calls and hoots went up around the building, but we ignored them entirely. Suddenly, Twilight's hoof found its way to my thigh. I stopped my efforts in the kiss, but didn't pull away. Twilight kept kissing me sweetly as her hoof began to move inward. I grabbed her hoof nervously and pulled away.

"W-what's wrong?" She asked sadly.

"N-nothing, but your hoof was wandering a bit." Twilight looked extremely embarrassed for a moment, but then she smiled a bit.

"Oh... is that bad?" She asked with a smile, leaning against me a bit.

"Uhhh..."

"It doesn't look like you minded..." Twilight whispered.

"T-Twilight, we've o-only been together a d-day!" I reminded her. She frowned at me.

"Time, time is so important to you! I've loved you for months, and I've got a week to show you that. As far as I'm concerned, nothing is too fast. I love you and that's all that matters to me."

"I-I'm not comfortable with that!"

"Why?"

"It's too fast, ok?"

"According to who? In what book does it say this is wrong?"

"Twilight, it just feels..." I realized I couldn't say 'wrong' without being a liar. In fact, I was startled to realize that I wanted her hoof to return. "Right. It is right. We love each other. However... can we love each other in the house, not at a public place like this?" Twilight's small grin intensified.

"Sure, sure. No direct love then."

"Could we also wait a little bit for anything serious? I'm still not totally ok after... you know..." Twilight frowned a bit, but not out of annoyance. She seemed concerned.

"Oh my gosh... that must be why you've been so reluctant! I'm sorry!" She wrapped me in a hug.

"I-it's not your fault. It's fine." Now that she had said it out loud, I realized that was why I was resisting her so much. Inside, I wanted what she wanted nearly as bad as she did. The horrible memory of the dragoness was keeping me back. I couldn't even say it was my moral code of abstinence keeping me back. That was already lost. I was letting some dragoness bitch keep me from Twilight, and even distance myself from RD! However hard I tried though, I couldn't force myself to get over it. Maybe some of what Twilight was thinking of would help. "Hey, hurry and eat please. I'd like to get home soon." Twilight grinned at me approvingly.

"Ok Sharky." Twilight immediately started daintily eating her fries and I ate my broccoli. I moved on to my carrot fries and nearly choked when I looked back to Twilight. She had started on her grilled cucumber, and the way she had decided to eat it was... entirely arousing.

"T-Twilight, what are you doing?" Twilight lowered her food.

"What do you mean?"

"Why aren't you biting the cucumber?"

"Oh, I don't like the actual cucumber, but they season it really well here." Twilight resumed stuffing as much of the cucumber in her mouth as she could while licking off the seasonings. I nearly fell over. She didn't look back at me, or over-exaggerate the action, so I guessed that was just really how she enjoyed her cucumber. I coughed a little and tried not to double over in pain as my genitals suddenly got into a rather... cramped disagreement with my metal pants.

"Well, ow." I mumbled to myself. Twilight finally finished and placed her cucumber back on the plate. "Ok, lets get out of here." I said quickly, standing up from my seat. Which forced me into an even more cramped situation. I dropped the bits I had brought to pay for the meal onto the table as a tip and began pulling Twilight to the exit. The rest of the walk was a blur, mostly because I sprinted back to the library.

"Wow, in a bit of a hurry huh?" Twilight asked teasingly.

"Nope. Not at all." I said sarcastically. I ran into the house.

"Follow me!~" Twilight commanded in a sing-song voice. She bounced up the stairs. I followed her closely and got to the bedroom as she leaped into my bed. I started making my way towards her, when another voice stopped me cold.

"Hey guys, where were ya?" Spike asked. I groaned and Twilight flinched.

"We went to dinner, Spike." I informed him.

"Cool. How was it?"

"Great..." Twilight muttered.

"Good. What're you doin' now?"

"Just going to bed." I sighed.

"Why's Twilight in your bed?" Twilight pretended to look around in surprise.

"Oh, oops. I'll go to mine now." She stated in an almost monotone voice. I sighed once more and went to my bed.

"Night guys!" Spike shouted cheerily. Twilight and I grumbled replies, then I settled in for a reluctant sleep... after lowering my armor a little to keep my junk from crushing itself.

Think

I woke up still experiencing the same problem I had gone to sleep with. Luckily I had decided to pull my pants down before sleeping. I noticed my bed was abnormally comfortable. It was warmer and softer at my back, which didn't make much sense since I was laying on my side. Not only that, but there was a warm wind on my neck. I turned my head to see what was the cause of the comfort.

"Twilight?" I asked. The beautiful lavender unicorn was cuddled up to my back. She appeared to be awake and blowing on my neck intentionally. When I said her name, her eyes fluttered lazily and she looked up at me.

"Oh good, you woke up!" She mumbled happily with a little wiggle that brought her closer to me.

"Yeah, what're you doing in my bed?" I muttered back groggily. "I thought sleeping together was bad."

"Well, obviously sleeping together in front of Spike would be bad, but I figured cuddling couldn't hurt." She explained easily.

"Well then why haven't we been doing this all night?"

"We almost have. The thought occurred to me a few minutes after we seperated actually. When I crawled into your bed though, you were already asleep! You sure fall asleep fast, don't you?"

"Heh, I didn't always. Back on my planet I used to take anywhere from half an hour to an hour to fall asleep." I started to turn over, and I saw a puzzled expression on Twilight's face. "Something wrong?" She shook her head quickly.

"No no, nothing's wrong, I just keep forgetting you came from another planet." She explained. I tossed her a sarcastic smirk.

"Really? You forget the one-of-a-kind alien came from another planet?"

"Well... I'm just so used to you being here now. It feels like... you were meant to be here. Like life wouldn't be the same without you here."

"Heh, how sweet." I mumbled as I rolled my eyes. She was just flattering me I figured. She rubbed her hoof against my arm softly.

"I mean it. I couldn't bear to not have you here, with us. Seriously." She re-stated firmly. I didn't really respond, still not quite fully accepting her words. She huffed a bit. "Sharky, would you at least roll over and look at me normally?" She pleaded. I started to roll around to face her properly, when a certain part of my anatomy smacked into her side. Both of our faces became very red very fast.

"Err... Heh heh, sorry." I cleared my throat nervously, but instead of doing the same thing, Twilight gave me a sly smile.

"Oh, worked up, huh? Is that because of me?" Twilight started swaying her hips gently, causing it to bounce a bit.

"Y-yes, please stop..." My words were a bit harsher than I meant them to be, seeing as how I was practically hissing. Twilight slowed to a stop right away.

"Right, Spike. Darn... Well, I'm hungry anyway. You want some breakfast?" Twilight started sliding off my bed.

"Uhh, sure. Could you gimme a minute though? I need to... calm down."

"Sure, no problem." Twilight giggled as she started trotting away from the bed. I found myself staring at her backside as she left, but quickly forced myself to look away. Doing that wouldn't have helped my problem. I heard the door close behind Twilight right as I started trying to clear my head. I was usually very good at ridding myself of any sort of bad thought, but my thoughts about Twilight were surprisingly hard to get rid of. Then I heard Spike yawning across the room. That helped fix my problem pretty quickly, so I slid my pants back up.

"Hey Spike."

*Yawn* "Hey Sharky. Good morning. How'd you sleep?"

"Not as well as I'd have liked." I slid out of bed to stretch.

"Why? Didn't sleep enough or something?"

"Actually, I slept a lot more than I wanted."

"How's that bad then?"

"Uhh... I'll explain later. Hey, in the spirit of subject change, Twilight went to make breakfast. Wanna see what she's making?"

"Actually... I'm still really tired... I think I'm gonna try to go back to sleep for awhile." Spike rolled over a bit in his little bed which left his back towards me. I shrugged and started walking towards the door to the living room.

"Suit yourself. Sleep well little dude." With that, I left the room and gently closed the door behind me. I took a cautious step backwards... and promptly fell down the stairs.

*bam* *smack* *thump* *whack* *moo* *crash* *pow* *crack*

"What was that?!" Twilight called from the kitchen. I was laying flat on the ground at the base of the stairs, more stunned than actually hurt. I heard her hooves tapping against the floor as she ran to me.

"Fine. I'm fine." I uttered dully, still surprised. Twilight was checking all over me, lifing my arms and such to check for injuries I supposed.

"Are you hurt?! Where'd you get hit?"

"Twilight, I said I'm fine!" I sat up abrubtly, halting her efforts to keeps searching me for non-existant injuries. "I've taken hits from monsters over ten times my size. I think falling down stairs won't damage me." Twilight seemed to back off just a bit. Well, as far as searching me went. She still remained close as she could.

"Why did you just fall down the stairs?" She asked with concern. "I thought you were more agile than that."

"I uhhh... I forgot that I have long legs and you guys have short ledges."

"Explain?"

"I tried to step backwards away from the door and I stepped all the way back to the stairs on accident." Twilight looked at me with utter disbelief.

"... You... fell."

"Yeah."

"... Sharky, the most competent warrior in the Equestrian ranks, fell downstairs because he has long legs." Twilight's face shifted with a few supressed giggles.

"Hey, gimme a break. I just woke up. Although, while we're on the subject of me falling down the stairs, did you hear a 'moo'?"

"What?" Twilight blinked blankly.

"When I was falling, did you hear a 'moo'?" I said again. Twilight continued to stare.

"Are... are you sure you're ok?"

"Nevermind then. Well, what're you making for breakfast?" My sudden subject change didn't seem to make Twilight any less uneasy.

"Really Sharky, are you ok?"

"I'm fine. Honest. I am hungry though, so what's for breakfast?" I stood up and started heading towards the kitchen. Twilight followed dutifully.

"I'm making some cheese omlets. Does that sound good?"

"It sounds great." I inhaled deeply as I walked into the kitchen, catching the scent of cooking eggs. Over cooking eggs. As in starting to burn.

"Oh shoot!" Twilight ran to the stove and started levitating a spatula to flip the eggs before they burned. Finally it was my turn to suppress a laugh as I watched her struggle with breakfast. She managed to save the omlets from becoming burnt egg husks though. "Whew."

"Good save."

"Hmph." She puffed haughtily, as if I was making fun of her.

"No really. Good job." Twilight filled the two omlets with various shredded cheeses she had piled up next to the stove and put them back in the pan to melt the cheese. She didn't respond. "So, I enjoyed our date last night. How'd you like it?"

"Oh, it was great..." Twilight assured unenthusiastically.

"You don't sound too thrilled with it..."

"Well, it just didn't end the way I wanted." She admitted.

"Yeah, me either. Not that we could have done anything about it, Spike does need to sleep here after all."

"True, true."

"In fact, I think it'd be pretty hard for us to do anything like that anyway. I'm hoping on getting Unity over here a lot more often, and that won't help."

"Of course, it's good for you to spend time with your son, and I certainly don't want to interfere with that... but there has to be some way we can do it..."

"Eh. It's not a big deal, don't stress over it." It seemed to me like Twilight might be trying to do this before she was ready for some reason. I wasn't quite sure she had thought this all through. Twilight dropped the magically suspended spatula and turned to me.

"It is a big deal! How could you just blow it off like that?! It's only the pinnacle of affections between two ponies!"

"Well, actually that depends on the context..."

"Well the way I mean to do it is! Sharky, I've got a week to show you just how much I love you. Six days, actually. I want to do this, why do you keep pushing it off or making it seem like no big deal except in rare moments like last night?" She started pouting woundedly after she finished her tiny rant. I took a deep breath to explain what I was thinking about the whole thing.

"Well... Twi... To be honest, I'm not sure you've thought this all the way through. You've seemed to be really almost rushing into it. I mean, last night I let one head do my thinking for me when I normally use the one on my shoulders, and I almost went with it. I mean, have you really though about it?" I explained truthfully. Twilight turned, levitated the omlets onto plates, then turned back again.

"Pregnancy: Unlikely considering our species gap, but I've prepared protection nontheless. Disease: I'm not an issue in that, and I doubt you are either, due to your thick-headed and chaste nature. It's possible that the dragoness was, but seeing as how dragons have superb immunities to disease, it's also highly unlikely. Emotional attachment: Sure, if we do it and don't end up together, I'll be sad... but I'll feel better knowing I gave it my all." Twilight answered easily.

"... Clearly I was wrong." I admitted after a lengthy stunned pause. "You really have thought this out, huh? Damn, you hate your V-card, don'tcha?"

"Yes, of course I did! What'd you expect? Me to just run into this like a young filly in heat?"

"Well no, but I wasn't sure you had really put thought into it."

"Well, are you sure now?"

"Uhhh... Yeah, I guess I am."

"Then will you please stop resisting me at every turn on the matter? I mean, last night being the exception, I feel like you try to push me away or brush me off at every single attempt I make!" Twilight levitated the two plates over to the table and placed on in front of me.

"I promise, that's not what I'm trying to do. The last thing I would want to do is push any of you away... Maybe that's why I'm so difficult. I think maybe... maybe I'm scared that getting too close to one of you would get rid of all the others. I mean, I know I'm gonna have to pick one of you eventually, but I'd rather not just have that happen because all the others left."

"So... you think that having s-- Ehm, doing that, will scare off all the others?"

"Yeah. By the way, Spike is asleep. Your words are safe."

"Oh, ok. Wasn't sure if he was on his way down still. Well, if that's the problem, there's only one thing we can do." Twilight gave me a small smile.

"What?"

"We've gotta ask the others if it's ok!"

"... You want to gather three other mares that like me... and ask them if they mind if we have sex."

"Eeyup, that about sums it up."

"Well, this is bound to be interesting." I mumbled as I turned to eat what may have been my last meal.

Sharing

"Well, when should we talk to them?" I asked through a mouthful of cheesy omelet goodness. Twilight's cooking skill had grown a lot over the time I had known her. Twilight was washing the dishes now, and her omelet lay on the table totally untouched.

"The sooner the better I say. After all, I don't want this to keep me from you any longer than it already has." Twilight answered determinedly.

"That's assuming they're ok with it."

"I'm hoping for the best."

"I wouldn't get my hopes up if I were you. From what I've seen, most of you are pretty competitive about this."

"Well that was before! You made us promise to play nice now, remember? Even then, we're still best friends, so why wouldn't they allow it?"

"I dunno... but now that you put it like that I'm feeling a lot less nervous about it." I admitted. Twilight gave me a confused look.

"You were nervous?"

"Of course! Three decidedly fiery mares that all like me about to discuss if one gets to... you know. That could've gone really bad depending."

"You have a way of being nervous that makes it look as if you put up with such things every day. Wait, why did you only say thr-- Fluttershy. Never mind, I got it."

"Yeah, I wouldn't call 'Shy fiery. As to nervous... well, I fight monsters. So uhh... I guess I'm used to being nervous. It might not show."

"I'd re-think what you said about Fluttershy. She... can be... How to say this? Hmm... Well, let's just say she can be plenty fiery when she wants."

"If you say so." I replied sarcastically right before I popped the last of the omelet into my mouth. "We should arrange the talk then, if you want to get it over already."

"Now?"

"Sure. We just need t--"

"Hey guys..." Spike sighed lazily from the main room. He stepped into the kitchen still rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

"Hey Spike." I greeted in a robotic way.

"Oh good! You're finally awake." Twilight smiled at him warmly. "Would you like an omelet too, Spike?" Spike gave her a sleepy smile and nodded.

"Sounds great."

"Good, there's one on the table for you." Spike jumped into the chair across from me and started eating the omelet Twilight had placed there for herself.

"I thought that was your omelet." I stated curiously.

"I had an apple before you came down. I'm not really hungry now as a result."

"Oh, ok then."

"So, what were you guys talking about?" Spike asked in between bites.

"Twilight wanted to get some of the other girls together for a quick chat." I answered honestly. Twilight shot me a look like I had messed something up.

"About what?" Spike continued.

"Nothing important." I answered honestly again. Twilight shot me another look. More of a glare this time really.

"Oh, ok then."

"In fact, when you're done, could you get Rarity for us?" Twilight asked suddenly. Spike seemed to brighten up.

"You mean you need my help again?! Don't worry Twilight; your number one assistant is on the job!" Spike swallowed the rest of his omelet in one massive bite and vanished from the table. Twilight went back to glaring at me.

"What?"

"Why did you tell him what we were talking about?!" She hissed.

"I only said we wanted to chat with the others!"

"Yeah, but he could have kept going and asking about what we needed them for!"

"But he didn't."

"Because you told him it was nothing important!"

"Yeah, and he left it alone."

"It is important!"

"... Are you mad that I said we needed to talk or..."

"Yes, Spike could've ended up hearing something he shouldn't!"

"Oh, so you're not mad I said it wasn't--"

"Yes I am! It is important and I told you to stop brushing it off!"

"... But if I hadn't told him it wasn't important he might've heard something bad."

"You should've just said nothing about it at all!"

"Ok, ok! Sorry. Geez... Well, if Spike is getting Rarity, I'm gonna go get Fluttershy." I stood up to leave. Twilight snorted at me.

"Ok. I'll go get Rainbow then. Be more careful with what you say though! Especially around Spike. He's still a baby, after all."

"Alright, I will. Bye." I turned and walked out of the dining room. As soon as I was out of Twilight's line of sight, I rolled my eyes as high as I could at the ridiculous argument, then left the house. As soon as I stepped out of the door, I noticed two things. One: No reporters swarmed me. Good. Two: I hadn't seen Fang in a long time. Not good. I quickly resolved to go find him after the upcoming talk. Eager to escape before being noticed by reporters, and eager to find Fang, I took off at a sprint towards Fluttershy's house.

*knock* *knock* *knock*

"Visitor at the door. I shall answer it." A robotic voice called.

"Oh wait, I know that knock!" Fluttershy's voice piped up.

"Daddy!" Unity cried. I heard the click of hooves, gems, and talons/hoof/paw approaching the door. The door was open and I ended up looking directly at one of the gem golems Unity had created. He seemed to be a bit smaller than I remembered.

"It is the master of superior power!" The golem stated with as much happiness as he could muster, which was nearly none.

"Sharky!" Fluttershy shouted from behind him.

“Daddy!” Unity cried from right behind her.

“Me!” I responded in kind.

“What’re you doing here?! Uhhh… not that I don’t like it or anything… but I thought you were spending the whole week with Twilight…” Fluttershy mumbled.

"Actually that's w--"

"Pway!"

"Sure Unity, just a moment. That's what I came here about. Twilight wants to have a small talk with you and the two other girls."

"Pway nao!"

"Not yet Unity. So, will you come with me really quick?"

"Of course I will. Will you carry Unity while we walk?" Fluttershy asked.

"Heck yeah I will!" I turned to my son. "C'mere little guy!" I got down on one knee and held out my arms. Unity slapped the ground with his lion paw, and a perfect square piece of the floor around him bounced up like a springpad, launching him into my arms. "Well... I expected crawling. I should've known better."

"Yeah, he's been doing everything strangely while you were gone. Once, when I told him not to play with his food, he said 'Fine!' and turned it into these strange little blocks with nubs that locked together." Fluttershy mentioned as if it were no big deal. I stopped short for a moment.

"What?"

"Yeah, he turned them into a--"

"Do you have any of them still?"

"Yes, I gathered them all up and kept them as a new toy for him. Why?"

"Can you show me one?"

"Sure. Mr. Shiny! Can you bring me the Legos?"

"Yes, mother of the Creator." The golem at the door said.

"Legos?" I asked worriedly.

"Yeah, all the little blocks had the letters l-e-g-o on them, so I call them Legos." The golem returned with a jar full of the colorful plastic pieces. I could feel my heartbeat increase as I crept forward and saw that they were Legos from Earth. Real Legos, not something Unity might've made up himself.

"Oh... Oh geez..." I muttered.

"What? What's wrong?" Fluttershy was starting to sound worried now.

"Fluttershy, these are a child's toy back on Earth."

"Oh... and?"

"Unity has never seen them, so how is he making Earth toys?"

"Well, he is a little god of chaos basically. Maybe it's a coincidence. There's no way he could be making them on purpose knowing they were from your old world, right?"

"Hmm..." I rubbed my chin thoughtfully, still unsure of how to properly treat this. In the end, I let it go and decided to get back to the talk with Twilight. "Yeah, coincidence. Anyway, let's get to town now. First... Mr. Shiny?"

"Awaiting orders superior power."

"You think you can play an advanced game of hide 'n seek?"

"Hide 'n seek is my favorite game. I am ready to begin this task."

"Good, could you take Unity in to town with us? The rules in this version of hide 'n seek is that you can't let anypony see you. You win if you reach the library tree house."

"Sharky, what are you doing?" Fluttershy asked.

"Well, we can't let the townsponies see a mini Discord-*blech*- Ugh, just threw up in my mouth a bit... I hate calling him that. Even then, I don't want Unity around for the talk we're going to have, so Mr. Shiny sneaking him to the house is a good way to buy us some time and keep Unity hidden."

"... The tall thing made out of shiny gems is going to sneak Unity into town... without being noticed?"

"Ok, point taken. Then how are we gonna sneak him in?"

"Why don't we just use the little disguise Rarity made for him?"

"... I... Forgot that existed. Good idea Fluttershy."

"Here, let me go get it." Fluttershy trotted back into her house.

"Well, looks like we won't be needing you to play hide 'n seek after all Mr. Shiny. So all you have to do is carry Unity around near the house a bit when we get there. When the talk is over, I'll take him back."

"Task is less enjoyable, but accepted." Mr. Shiny said with a tinge of an upset attitude in his voice. We stood there awkwardly for a few moments before Unity started batting at my nose

"Found it!" Fluttershy called from inside the house. She showed up seconds after her shout holding Unity's socks, hat, and tail cover. I placed him on the ground and dressed him in his little outfit in a few more seconds. I picked him back up and got ready to walk back to town.

"Alright, let's go."

"Pway!" Unity shouted eagerly.

"Not right now son, we can play after I have my talk, ok?"

"No! Pway now!" He continued stubbornly.

"Fine, what's a game we can play while I walk you to town? How about I spy or--"

"Jump! Pway jump!"

"Play what? You want me to jump?" I asked curiously. Unity nodded eagerly. "Uh... ok..." I hopped in place. Unity scowled at me.

"Weal jumps! Nao!" Suddenly the ground began to give beneath my feet. As a reflex, I jumped to the side. Right where I had been standing, a deep-looking hole had appeared. I leaned over to look into it and I saw... spikes.

"What the?! Spikes!?"

"Jump!" I leapt to the side again as another hole spontaneously opened up in the ground.

"Whoa! Ok, ok, could you at least get rid of the spikes?!" I screamed. Unity closed his eyes and seemed to be focusing really hard. The spikes flew out of the previous two holes like missiles. "Whoa! Forget it! Launching spikes isn't better!" With that, I began leaping towards town quickly, eager to get there and hopefully end Unity's 'game'. Unity seemed to think it was a wonderful thing; he laughed the whole way there.

"Fun fun fun!" He squealed. Luckily when I actually got to the outkirts of town, Unity let up on the holes. When I looked at him, he seemed incredibly tired. His game must've really used a lot of his energy or something. I stood and gasped a little as I waited for Fluttershy and Mr. Shiny, who I had left way behind while jumping to town. Fluttershy was the first to show up. She was running towards me, possibly worried about any injuries I might have gotten.

"Sharky!" She shouted. I waved at her calmly and she seemed to relax a bit when she caught up and saw I wasn't pierced by a spike or anything. "Oh good, I was worried..."

"I figured. Don't worry, I'm fine." Fluttershy nodded and lowered her gaze to the child in my arms.

"Unity! That was a naughty game! You could've hurt daddy!" She scolded gently. Unity flinched and gave her a grade A sad face.

"I sowwy mommy..." He mumbled innocently. As someone with experience dealing with children, I couldn't help but almost laugh at his classic 'adorable apologetic child' act. I fell for that a few times back in my babysitting days. Predictably, Fluttershy's expression softened.

"It's ok. I know you didn't mean to put anypony in danger." While Fluttershy finished talking, Mr. Shiny arrived behind her.

"It's no real big deal 'Shy. I can handle whatever this little guy throws at me. Anyway, Mr. Shiny! Here, hold Unity." I handed him my son carefully and he picked him up with the same amount of care. "Your orders are to follow us to the library. When we get there, stay near it. Don't go in until I come out and say it's ok."

"Orders accepted. Commence leading."

"Alright. You ready 'Sh--" I looked down at where Fluttershy had been to discover that she was missing. I looked around a few times and saw her already heading towards the library. I jogged to catch up to her and stopped by her side.

"So what's this talk about, Sharky?" Fluttershy asked as soon as I got to her. I looked over my shoulder to see that Mr. Shiny and Unity were a safe distance behind us.

"Well, it's a request for permission to perform an act of the combination of reproductive organs to produce pleasure and offspring. Likely without the offspring due to genetic differences though." I answered as quickly and confusingly as I could. I wanted to answer her without actually letting on to what Twilight was asking. I figured it was Twilight's place to really break it to them. Fluttershy looked just as confused as I had hoped.

"What?"

"He just told ya what, dumbass. Huh?"

"What does all that mean?"

"It has to do with the price of tea in China. Exactly what I said."

"B-but... but..."

"And he says I never help. Oh hey look, the library." In our short walk, we had gotten close enough to the library to see it. We walked the rest of the way in silence, due to Fluttershy's heavy confusion. I opened the door when we reached it and stepped to the side to allow Fluttershy in. Rarity, RD, and Twilight were all sitting in a circle around the table in the middle of the room.

"Finally you guys showed up!" RD shouted in relief. "Geez, we've been waiting for forever!"

"Sorry, it's a long walk from here to 'Shy's house." I followed Fluttershy into the library and closed the door behind us.

"Alright then, would you kindly tell us what you've called us all here for?" Rarity asked impatiently.

"Where's Spike?" I asked worriedly, not wanting the small dragon to hear this.

"Sweetiebelle dragged him off on a crusade after he informed me of this meeting." Rarity explained.

"Good, then go ahead Twi."

"Well girls, Sharky and I have a problem." Twilight started. "You see, I wish to engage in the act of the joining of-- *sigh* I want to have sex with him." The girls seemed a bit stunned to hear her say that out loud, and RD blushed a little. Not an embarrassed blush, just surprised. Fluttershy, however, was blushing a lot in what appeared to be embarrassment. "Sharky doesn't want to. Not yet, anyway. He wants me to ask you girls first to make sure you're ok with it. He thinks it would really upset you if I didn't. So, do you girls mind if Sharky and I have sex?" Twilight finished talking and leaned back a bit. RD and Rarity looked to each other, then to me, then to Twilight.

Then they both burst out laughing.

Re-unite

"Why of course you can dear!" Rarity said as she finished laughing. She wiped a tear out of the corner of her eye, still giggling a little.

"I thought you guys were already going at it!" RD added teasingly. "That's what I'd be trying to do!" Twilight shot me an amused smile.

"See? I told you it'd be fine!" She boasted. I nodded.

"So you did. Alright, alright. You win. We can try later I gue-- Wait, 'Shy never responded." We all turned to look at Fluttershy, who was sitting in stunned silence with a huge, deep red blush on her face. "Well, what do you think 'Shy?"

"Eeep..." She squeaked out barely audibly.

"Are you ok 'Sh--"

"Yes! ... Yes can!" She squealed as quickly as she could. "Things I have do! Bye!" With that, Fluttershy darted out of the building like a frightened rabbit. I slowly turned to the others.

"... I think we just broke Fluttershy."

"Nah, she's fine. She gets like that whenever sex is brought up." RD explained in a bored way. "Anyway, I gots stuff to do too. See ya later." RD flapped up and flew lazily out the door, but I didn't miss the wink she threw towards Twilight. Rarity stood up as well.

"Rainbow is right. Didn't you see how straight her wings were? She's not broken, she's excited." Rarity explained with a small smile. "I certainly hope you're ready for her week. Now, like the others, I have my own matters to attend to. Twilight, do you mind if I keep Spike for a while to help me? He's such a darling assistant."

"Not at all." Twilight gave Rarity a broad smile and mouthed something to her. After that short exchange of silent communication, Rarity took her leave as well, making sure to close the door behind her. I found myself staring at the door a few seconds after she left, which meant I was unprepared for the tackle that came soon after the door shut.

*Wham* I fell backward and landed on my butt with Twilight clinging to my chest.

"Whoa!"

"Finally! All alone and nothing to stop us!" Twilight cheered as she leaned her head down to kiss me.

"Actually--" Twilight started to kiss me, but pulled away once my word registered. She gave me a hurt look.

"Actually? What actually?"

"Uhhh... Unity. I brought Unity over from Fluttershy's house. He's just outside with a golem, waiting for me." I explained. Twilight's jaw dropped and she stared at me in stunned silence. "Even then, I'm not really in the mood right now."

"Oh come on!" Twilight threw up her forehooves and collapsed on my chest.

"Didn't you hear him? We won't be doing that any time soon."

"Shaddup Steven."

"Nope. Don't talk directly to him..." I sighed. I gently edged Twilight off of me and went to the door.

"Ugh... everypony else clears us a path and you do this..."

"Well, I didn't think they'd actually say yes! Even then, I need to spend some time with my son."

"Ok, ok. You're right. Unity comes before that." Twilight conceeded. "You can go get him." I nodded and opened the door. Mr. Shiny was standing right in front of it. Not holding Unity.

"Uhhh... Mr. Shiny?"

"Yes, superior power?"

"Where's my son? The one I directed you to keep track of?"

"New directives were given to me."

"By?"

"The mother of the Creator."

"... Fluttershy took Unity?"

"Yes, superior power."

"Why the... I told her I was gonna take him!"

"I am not aware of her reasons. However, as she was leaving, I heard the words: 'Not for young ears'. Is this satisfactory?"

"Ugh..." I facepalmed and groaned. "Look, go back to Fluttershy and retrieve Unity for me. Inform her that nothing bad is happening." Mr. Shiny nodded.

"Command accepted." Mr. Shiny turned away and marched off obediently.

"Oooooooh Shaaaaaarky..." Twilight cooed behind me.

"Nope. Next on my list is finding Fang." I answered without turning around.

"He's at Sweet Apple Acres, with Winnona. Applejack says he's there all the time nowadays." Twilight informed me. I turned around.

"What?" When I turned, I saw Twilight laying on the table with her head propped up by one of her forehooves. I ignored it... mostly.

"Yeah, sooo... found him. Anything else?"

"Well, I was going to go get him."

"And seperate him from his love? That's kinda mean. After all, shouldn't everypony get a little quality time with their lovers?"

"... You're good, but I ain't falling for it. I'm gonna go see my pet for the first time in a long time." With that, I left the library. I heard Twilight snort behind me.

"That darned wolf!"

"Hiya Shadow! Hi AJ!" I called as I ran into the farm. Shadow was working on some trees with AJ leaning on his side. Shadow turned and seemed surprised to see me, but AJ actually stumbled around a bit and took a step away from Shadow.

"H-hey dude! How ya been?" Shadow greeted back nervously.

"H-howdy." AJ mumbled.

"Pretty good. You?"

"I've been doing great! I was just showing AJ here the proper way to fertilize the trees!" He explained happily.

"Really? You learning well, AJ?" I asked.

"W-well... uhh... *sigh* N-naw, not at all. It's just a b-bucha fancy magic stuff iffn ya ask me." She admitted with an uncharacteristic stutter.

"Oh don't be so modest! You're doing great! Here, just try injecting that serum one more time..." Shadow said confidently, suddenly sounding much braver while talking about his alchemy.

"Well hey, I can see you two are busy, but can you tell me where Fang is?"

"He's in the barn with Winnona. Those two hardly leave each other's sight nowadays..." AJ mumbled offhandedly as she fiddled with a needle Shadow had given her.

"Thanks!" I shouted over my shoulder as I took off towards the barn. When I got there, I slid the big doors open to find Big Mac inside hovering over two furry balled-up canines. He looked up to me and acknowleged my presence with a nod. "Hiya Big Mac. Whatcha doin'?"

"Helpin'." He replied simply. "Water's out." He kicked an empty bucket next to our pets, then picked it up by the handle with his mouth and walked out.

"Oh... cool." I walked over to the bigger, gray ball of fur and patted Fang on the side. He growled a little bit before lifting his head to see me. "Hey buddy." Fang started panting and thumping his tail on the ground happily. "So, you found a girl, huh?" Fang turned his head to Winnona, then turned back to me and nodded vigorously. "Good for you bud. Man, we need to start hanging out more."

"Chirp!" A loud noise sounded off practically in my ear. I winced and turned my head to see my robin perched on my shoulder.

"In my ear! Always in my ear! Why?!" I shouted back at him. He shrugged. "Ugh... so, this is where you were too huh? Hanging out with Fang?" The bird nodded. "Well, good to know you guys have been sticking together. So, is anyone ready to come home with me? I'm gonna be hunting a lot less, so we can hang out a lot more!" Fang barked in agreement and nodded. The bird quietly chirped out his agreement as well.

*whine* A sad sound suddenly came from the ball of fur that was Winnona. She looked at Fang pleadingly. Without losing his dopey wolfish grin, he gave her a quick lick on the nose and nuzzled her face. They spent a short amount of time barking and yipping at each other afterwards, before Winnona nodded grudgingly.

"Well... I dunno what the barking was, but I hope that means you're coming too?" Fang yipped at me and nodded again. "Sweet. Then, to the library! Away!" I bounded out of the barn and in the direction of the library. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw AJ snuggle into Shadow just a bit... Then I was out of the farm and on my way home with Fang hot on my heels and my robin on my shoulder.

"Twilight! I'm back!" I shouted as I walked up to the front door. "Don't shout you fool, you'll call the reporters!" I opened the door and walked into the house. Fang followed in close behind and I closed the door behind him.

"Good! Did you bring Fang with you?" Twilight called back.

"Yeah, and my robin." Twilight came downstairs and looked at the bird on my shoulder with curiosity.

"Robin? I didn't know you had a pet robin... What's his name?"

"I just call him 'the robin' or 'Robin'. Also, I'm Batman."

"What?"

"Nothing, just always wanted a real reason to say that."

"Who's Batman?"

"Comic book hero in my world. He has a sidekick named 'Robin' so--"

"Oh, I get it. You're Batman."

"Yeah."

"Huh. That's pretty strange. Anyway, what are your plans now?" She asked pointedly.

"Plans? Pfft... Plans... I dunno. Stuff usually just happens around me. I haven't needed a plan in forever." I admitted. Twilight grinned broadly.

"Really? So you're free now?"

"Well, I've still got Fang and Robin to hang out with bu--"

"I thought you had no plans."

"Well... I didn't have any plans for the hanging out, but I was going to hang out with them. At least until Unity got here."

"Unity's not coming." Twilight stated matter-of-factly.

"What? Why?!"

"While you were gone, Mr. Shiny came back and gave me a message to give to you from Fluttershy. She says: 'Then shame on you! Do your duty as a stallion, and when it's done you can get Unity.' Word for word."

"Well.... That's totally not what I would've expected."

"Yeah, me either. However, it works out for me. Not that I don't want the little guy here, I just don't want him here now." Twilight started advancing on me in a predatory fashion.

"Uhhh... Twilight, the guys are right here..."

"I know. We can move upstairs and let them play around down here..."

"Later maybe?" I asked hopefully.

"Sharky, Rarity can only keep Spike at her boutique for so long. We don't have a lot of time, and you don't have a lot of choices." Twilight reached me and stood on her back legs to place her forehooves on my chest. "I love you, and I want you right now. You really going to turn me down to roll around with a wolf and a bird?"

"... Wow, way to reduce it to its basest elements... Making him choose between his best buds and you, huh? And so it begins..."

"If I may say so, it seems as though you're being forced into something... You allow her to push you around?"

"No!" I retorted back to the voice of Ravidos. Twilight paused for a moment.

"No? Y-you're not avoiding me any more? You're not going to roll around with the animals?" Twilight asked hesitantly, almost in a stunned way.

"N-no! That's not what I... *sigh* No Twilight, I'm done avoiding you."

"R-really? Finally?"

"Yes." I answered with more strength. Twilight broke out into the widest smile I'd ever seen from her and leaned further into me for a kiss. I gave her a quick peck and started to speak again. "However!"

"Nooooo! No however!" She whined.

"Yes, last one. This one's easy, I promise. I just don't want to... do it. I want it to be romantic. Like the night we went to dinner was nice." Twilight regained her grin quickly.

"Well, it's inbetween meals and we don't have a lot of time, but I think I've got this one!" Twilight vanished from her place against my chest and dashed upstairs. I turned to my pets to see my robin had moved to a perch on top of Fang's head. It looked kind of funny.

"Well guys, give me about an hour and enough time for a glass of cranberry juice afterward, then we can play, ok?" Fang gave me an almost... knowing grin and nodded. Robin chirped cluelessly. After hearing a few scraping and clanging noises upstairs, I began to wonder what on Equestria Twilight was doing up there. Right before I resolved to go up and peek, I heard what sounded like... Barry White coming from upstairs. Twilight must have been playing some records of a pony version of Barry White!

"Ok Sharky, come on up!" Twilight cheered from upstairs expectantly. I swallowed nervously and started climbing up the stairs. I hesitantly opened the upstairs door to see total darkness. Well, not total darkness. When I closed the door behind me, I noticed spots of light all over the room. Candles were scattered everywhere, and they filled the room with a light vanilla smell. Not only that, but rose petals littered the floor in a trail towards my bed, where Twilight was laying on her side looking at me expectantly.

"Whoa."

"Well? You gonna stand over there and stare all day? Get over here..."

Author's Note

Well, voting time. I write out the upcoming HA clop scene or not? It'll be a whole hell of a lot slower paced and lovey than my... previous works.

Yes, Master?

WARNING! CLOP. WARNING! CLOP. WARNING! CLOP. WARNING! CLOP. WARNING! CLOP. WARNING! CLOP. WARNING! CLOP. WARNING! CLOP. WARNING! CLOP. WARNING! CLOP.

I found myself drifting towards Twilight, almost as if she were magnetically attracting me. Twilight gazed at me lovingly the whole way. When I finally got to the ledge, she started a cute little wiggle, making it obvious how excited she was for this.

"Oh... I can't believe it's finally happening." She whispered. I pulled myself up onto the ledge and smiled at her nervously.

"Y-yeah. Me either." I mumbled. Twilight gave me a pouty frown.

"You're not going to get cold hooves now, are you?"

"Nuh-uh. Just... nervous." I admitted. Twilight's frown turned into a small smile.

"Hee hee, me too. Just come here, we'll work it out."

"O-ok." I slowly forced myself to take a few more steps forward towards the bed. The way Twilight was staring at me, with unconditional love, was making me all the more nervous. I didn't feel like I deserved that from her, let alone three other beautiful mares as well. I reminded myself that in this moment, only Twilight mattered, and this was what she wanted. With a deep breath, I forced myself to go all the way to the bed and lie down in front of Twilight.

"Finally, you're here..." Twilight muttered excitedly.

"W-what do we do now?"

"Well, according to my book... You kiss me." She explained. I grinned. That was something I knew I could do. I reached out and wrapped my arms around Twilight, then pulled her close. She closed her eyes and tilted her head up to me. I needed no further invitation to tilt my head down to her and kiss her. Normally our kisses were slower with the most passionate moments being gentle caresses with our tongues. This time though, I could tell Twilight was approaching it with a much different attitude. From the start, she was pulling my tongue into her mouth and embracing it with hers.

I decided that if she said I needed to kiss her, then she didn't need to be leading. I forcefully countered her actions and took possesion of her tounge with my own. She gave in without any fight at all, like she wanted me to be in charge. I continued my workings on her mouth for a while, never once letting her have control back, not that she tried to take it back. Suddenly, I pulled away from her. A single string of saliva connected our mouths still. It looked kinda cute on her.

"Well, kissing isn't the only thing. What next?" I asked with much more strength.

"Well... next we sh--"

"Nevermind, I'll figure it out."

"But the lis--" I slid Twilight closer to me, cutting off her sentence. With her close, I sat up and placed both of my knees on either side of her. I leaned down and kissed her again, totally covering her with my body. She writhed under me, but by the way she was kissing me back I could assume it was in excitement, not discomfort. Crouched over her like this, I felt totally in control. Not because of my position so much as her total surrender to me. My courage was boosted by my dominant feeling, and so I decided to go further.

I started by gently sliding my hands on her sides, which caused her to shiver and gasp into my mouth. I grinned around our kiss and continued sliding my hands downward. I stroked her belly idly a few times on the way, and Twilight reached up a hoof towards my chest. I swatted it and pulled away from the kiss.

"No. Not your turn yet." I growled playfully. Twilight's hooves fell to the side obediently and I returned to kissing her. I continued moving my hands right where I had left off. Twilight became more and more tense as I moved my hands further down. She started gasping as I hit her nipples, which told me I was mere inches away from her marehood. I left my left hand on her lower belly to play with them while my right hand continued. Twilight's gasps turned into open moans when I started rolling a nipple between my thumb and middle finger.

"W-wait..." Twilight mumbled between gasps. Then my right hand found her marehood and I began rubbing it gently. Twilight whined loudly and pressed her lower body against my hand needily, as if begging for more. I pushed her body back down with my left hand, I controlled the speed of this event. I continued my slow assault on her body, driving her mad with all the light sensations. Her reactions were getting me plenty excited, which alerted me to a painful tightness in my groin. I cursed lowly and pulled away from Twilight. All she could seem to do was lay still on the bed and pant heavily as she gave me a hurt look.

"Don't worry, I'll be back to it in a few seonds." I assured her as I slid my armor off. My boxers still restrained me afterward, so I removed them too. Twilight's gaze locked onto my lower body and her eyes suddenly gained a hungry gleam. Her obvious intrest in what she saw made me grin with confidence as I walked back to the bed. Now that I had no restrictions, I was able to freely resume my dominant position over Twilight.

It suddenly struck me as strange that I was being so dominant. I wasn't usually like this, not to say that I was submissive either; rather I usually treated everypony as an equal. Perhaps it was because Twilight was being so purely submissive. Even now, she stared at me hopefully, glancing down at my groin every few seconds as I thought. I shook my head clear of my distracting thoughts and re-focused my attention on the growing heat between Twilight and I. More specifically, between our genitals. There was a physical heat actually growing between our legs that demanded my attention.

"Hmm... I'd say you're ready for more than rubbing." I mused. With my decision made, I got off of Twilight and stood next to the bed. "Ok, get up." Twilight obeyed instantly, hopping off the bed just as the words left my mouth. I laid down on it and motioned for her to climb on top of me. She obeyed again and laid down on my chest face-to-face with me. With a small smirk, I twirled my fingers in front of her as a silent command for her to turn around. A heavy blush spread across her face, but she stood up, albeit on shaky legs, and turned around slowly. Her steps were light and careful on my body, as if she was worried about hurting me. Finally, she plopped back down on me with her rear end facing me. With her not facing me and looking at me expectantly, I suddenly found my bravery waning.

"S-sharky?" Twilight whined, wondering what I was waiting for most likely. Regaining my confident attitude in mere seconds, I grabbed the base of her tail and forced it up gently. Twilight gasped in surprise.

"Shhh..." I commanded her quietly. Twilight went still and allowed me to get a good look at her marehood. I could tell she was excited, her little dark-lipped flower was glistening with her excitement. It suddenly struck me that I had no real idea what I was doing. I shrugged and figured it couldn't be that hard, right? I tenatively stuck out my tounge and gave her marehood a long, slow lick from top to bottom. Twilight moaned lowly in response, so I knew I was doing something right. Encouraged again, I moved a little closer to her rear and gave her a few more tenative licks. Anything I had read was totally wrong, it wasn't a pleasant taste. She did smell nice though, very musky and strong. The smell made me even braver, and I dipped my tounge into Twilight.

"Ah!" She squeaked in a pleased way. Her moist marehood seemed to flex around my tounge for a moment, almost like she had... blinked or something. Not knowing if that was normal, and not caring because it made Twilight feel good, I continued. Now that I was actually doing it, it was really fun to lick and please her to see what kinds of sounds I could get her to make. I alternated between quick dips into her and long licks on her petals to create a little pattern of cute squeaks, whines, and moans from her. Suddenly, however, the moans and whines stopped altogether. What was even more curious was that now I felt a warm, wet sensation on the head of my rod that made me want to moan. I pulled my face away from Twilight's rear to look down at whatever was going on. I was slightly annoyed to find that Twilight was suckling on my manhood. It felt great, sure, but it was her turn, not mine. I gave her tail a small yank to get her attention.

"Twilight! It's your turn, not mine." I explained calmly. Twilight flinched and gave me an apologetic look.

"Sorry, master..." She muttered. I gave her a blank stare and she suddenly took on a terrified look as she clapped both of her forehooves over her mouth.

"... What did you just call me?"

"Ah hahaha... N-nothing..."

"Did you just call me 'master'?"

"N-no!"

"Twilight..." I gave her a more stern scowl.

"..." She remained totally silent.

"Fine, don't tell me." I began to push Twilight off of me and stand up.

"W-wait! Please don't go!" She begged. I stopped moving, but lifted her up and turned her to face me. I inwardly sighed in relief. I hadn't really wanted to leave, so I was glad she gave in.

"Alright, then answer me."

"Y-yes... I did..."

"Why? I'm nopony's master. Certainly not yours. Was I being too controlling or something?"

"N-no! I l-liked it... a lot. In fact..."

"But... why 'master'?"

"Uhh... umm... H-hold on please..." Twilght mumbled as she reluctantly jumped off of my chest and hurried over to a wall near her bed. She lit up her horn and touched it to the wall. With a rumble and a shake, a crack started to appear in the wall. The crack silently elongated in a perfectly straight line. It turned once, twice, three times, and eventually formed a small square. Twilight levitated the small square of wood out of the wall and leaned it against her bed. Inside of the small hole, I saw the gleam of metal and a combination lock.

"A safe? You keep money in there or something?" I wondered aloud. Twilight crinkled up her nose and tilted her head at me.

"Why would I keep money in a safe?"

"Because it might get sto-- Right, not on my world. Continue then."

"Alright. Well... a month after meeting you, I was on a shopping trip to get a nice little collar for Fang. You know, as a gift, or a peace offering. We never really get along. Anyways, on the way back, I saw a favorite little used bookstore of mine that I hadn't visited in a while. I decided to stop by, and while I was in there... I kept thinking about us reading together." Twilight paused awkwardly for a moment.

"And?"

"Well... what I would have preferred us to do. It got me rather... excited, and I ended up purchasing... some... written depictions of love in the physical form."

"... Porn?" I questioned bluntly. Twilight flinched, blushed harder, and nodded. "Ok, so I see that you bought... adult novels, but what does that have to do with calling me 'master'?"

"I-I'm getting to that. I found myself really enjoying one novel in particular. This one, to be exact." Twilight pulled a book out of the safe and levitated it to me. I read the title carefully, then read it again to be sure I saw it correctly.

"Good Girl?"

"Y-yes... It's about a mare that has a certain... love for collars and leashes. Well... I... I really liked it, and since I had a collar for Fang on me, I... tried it on."

"... What?"

"Yeah. It was... fantastic. Here, let me show you." Twilight levitated a slightly decorative dark blue collar out of the safe. It was studded with little gems, and way too gaudy for Fang. She put it around her neck and levitated a leash out behind it. She didn't put the leash on, but instead levitated it to me.

"... W-wha... Why?"

"P-please don't hate me or leave... it's just my thing... T-think of it this way. I love rules and restrictions to keep order. This is my rules and order." Twilight traced a hoof on the collar. "I love having somepony in charge of me. I've always had somepony to lead me since I was a filly. My parents, Celestia, even my friends lead me through my friendship studies now. Now... if you will... I'd like my new 'master' to be you..." Twilight finished speaking and stared at me fearfully. She had basically just laid out her heart before me and asked me not to step on it. I looked at the leash on my lap with a gaping mouth. I was in pure shock.

S-she wants me to treat her like a pet?! N-no w-way! I thought to myself. I could never do that! That's just... just... A small part of my brain suddenly seemed to interrupt my thoughts. What makes her happy. Isn't it my job to make her happy? If this is what she really wants, who am I to scorn her for what she likes? As I finished my thoughts, I noticed that I was still rock-hard anyway. Huh. Maybe a part of me likes this idea. I admitted. I closed my mouth and looked to Twilight.

"W-well?" She asked. She was obviously extremely nervous about my answer. Her ears were pressed flat against her head and she was leaning away from me. I gave her a small smile.

"O-ok. I'll do it." I answered finally. Twilight's eyes went wide.

"R-really?!"

"Of course. It's my job to make you happy, and if this does it, then I'll do it. Just uhhh... explain how this all works." Before I finished talking, Twilight was already back on my chest facing me.

"Ok! It's not so hard, really. Basically, I do everything you say. Everything! You can punish me if I mess up, and remember to order me to do things. I wanna do this just right, and that means I have to have your permission to do anything, got it?"

"Anything?"

"Yes. You need to tell me to speak and even... ehm, finish."

"T-that's a lot of c-commands." I stuttered. Twilight smiled at me.

"That's the point. Trust me, it'll be lotsa fun. I'm sure you'll love it. I know I will!"

"I-if you s-say so... Do I start now?"

"It's your choice. The moment you strap that leash on me, you're in charge. Do whatever you want, please." Twilight was looking really excited now. She wiggled in anticipation and I could feel her wetness rubbing against my stomach, leaving hot little trails. I still wasn't feeling quite ok with the pet thing, but her pure excitment was enough to keep me excited as well.

"Alright then..." I hesitantly latched the leash to her collar. Twilight's smile grew even wider and she sat down on my stomach readily. "J-just as a starting command, you can talk when you want. I at least need to know if I'm doing well." Twilight nodded in acceptance of the command. "Good... Then turn back around. I wasn't finished with you yet."

"Yes, master." Twilight purred. She turned more quickly and readily than before, and lifted her tail of her own accord.

"Good, now stay still." I ordered, falling into my new role almost as if I belonged to it. I lifted Twilight off me just a bit and sat up so that my back was pressed against the headboard of my bed. I then procceeded to place Twilight's back legs on my shoulders so that her plot was placed perfectly in front of my face. Eager to make up for the awkwardness, and kind of wanting to hear her whine more, I buried my face in her sex with abandon. Twilight writhed and started to attempt to push herself back into me. She stopped almost immediately and just wiggled. She did stay true to her word though. I hadn't told her she could moan, and she wasn't. Which upset me a bit. I pulled my face away from her and heard her panting heavily. "Twilight, you can make noises. In fact, do make noises. They're really cute."

"Y-yes m-master." She accepted weakly. With a grin, I went back to pleasing her. Twilight squeaked and moaned openly now as I explored her depths with my tounge. As I had my fun with her, her tiny squeaks turned into squeals and her moans grew louder. Encouraged further, I bent my arms and tweaked her nipples as I dug my tongue into her hungrily. She was almost screaming now, and I grinned devilishly as I let go of one of her nipples and grabbed her leash. I gave it a solid yank, pulling her further into me. "M-mast-Ahhh!"

"Yes, Twilight?" I pulled my face away from her just long enough to ask before going back to work.

"M-may I c-c-c--"

"You may." I smiled as I once again dove back to her waiting marehood. Knowing she was close, I darted my tongue out to lick at the little nub I knew was sensative due to my encounter with the dragon. Twilight screamed out and I was hit with a small amount of her juice. I laughed a little and took her legs off of my shoulders. Twilight collapsed on my lap and wiggled as she rode out her orgasm. When she was done only seconds later, she was left a sweaty, gasping pile on my legs. She didn't have a satisfied look like I had expected though. In fact, she looked even more needy than before. Twilight stood back up as soon as she had caught her breath. She turned towards me, then plopped back down with my erect member right in front of her face. She looked up at me pleadingly.

"May I please you now, master?" She asked eagerly, the nervousness from the awkward converstion earlier totally gone. I on the other hand was still not really comfortable with the 'pet' thing. I was confident while pleasing her, sure, but now I had no real distraction from her behavior.

"Y-yes." I stuttered. Twilight gave me a little frown.

"Umm... if you could be a bit more commanding or order me, that'd be great." Twilight suggested, breaking her role a bit.

"Ok... Ehm... Yes, you may service me, pet." I said semi-clearly and with false power. Twilight nodded obediently and turned her eyes downward to look at my shaft. I gave an inward sigh of relief that she had gone along with my obviously false authority. While I was lost in my own mental ramblings, Twilight slowy dragged her tongue along the length of my tool, making me shudder a bit as small waves of pleasure hit me.Twilight seemed to know time was not something we could waste, otherwise I'm sure she would have continued with that for a while. As it were, she took the head of my dick into her mouth right away, and began suckling on it. Not like a real blowjob like the dragoness had given me, but rather like she was drinking from a bottle. It felt great regardless, and I gave a few low moans of pleasure.

"I take it I'm doing well, master?" Twilight asked with a sly smile after releasing me.

"J-just keep going." I growled hungrily, suddenly eager for more. Twilight nodded and lowered her head back down. She latched her lips around the head of my rod and resumed her light sucking. I slowly allowed myself to sink into the pleasureable feeling, but for some reason it wasn't enough. My body began moving of its own accord to increase the pleasure, and I ended up placing a hand on the back of Twilight's head. She seemed to take that as a command of its own, and began sliding her mouth further down my rod without ceasing her sucking. I threw my head back and groaned openly as Twilight enveloped me in wet, warm sensations. However, it still wasn't enough to make me content. I knew there was only one thing that would really do that. I slowly pulled up on Twilight's leash, removing her from my prick.

"Did I do something wrong?" Twilight asked guiltily. I gave her a pat on the head and a smile.

"No no, that was great. I'm just ready for the main event. Turn around." Twilight seemed to take a moment to understand. Once she did, her pouty frown flipped up into a huge smile and she turned quickly. Unfortuately, she got her legs tangled up in the leash and fell on her side on my lap.

"Oops... I guess it'll take some getting used to..." She muttered. I repressed a laugh and helped to untangle her. With just a few movements of her legs and the leash I got her untangled and placed her near the bottom of the bed. Then, with lusty desire setting in me, I switched my position to sit on my knees, placing my dick right at the perfect level to enter Twilight.

"You ready?" I asked eagerly.

"M-may I say something first?"

"Of course."

"C-could y-you be gentle? It's m-my first time..."

"Oh?"

"Y-yes... I was saving myself for somepony special... somepony like you." Twilight explained, putting as much sweetness into her voice as she could muster.

...

Ouch.

I instantly went limp as her deep-cutting words set in. Sure, she had meant it romantically, but all I could think of now was my last promise to my deceased parents. Which was stolen from me by a dragoness. In a prison cell. Less than three days ago. It cut me to my very soul. I felt the energy flow out of my body and my hand limply released Twilight's leash. I fell back against the headboard nearly soundlessly and sunk down against the matress. Twilight took a few seconds to notice my absence.

"Sharky? I'm ready..." She informed me, sounding a bit worried. Eventually she turned around and saw me slumped against the bed. "What's wrong?" She nearly shouted, sounding fully worried. "D-did you get hurt somehow?!"

I nodded wordlessly and placed my hand over my heart. Twilight only looked more confused.

"Your chest? You hurt your chest?"

I shook my head.

"No? Uhh... Lungs? Heart! Your heart?"

I nodded.

"Y-you didn't just have a heart attack, did you?! No... that can't be it, you're too young and healthy. Well, it happened right after I told you..." Twilight stopped short, her pupils shrank to points, and her jaw dropped. "Oh... my... I-I'm so sorry Sharky! I can't believe I just said that! Stupid, stupid, stupid!" She threw her legs around me in an apolgetic hug.

"N-no no..." I muttered weakly, forcing a small smile. "It was sweet. I-I-I'm just s-sorry I c-can't say the same..." My voice cracked into sadness towards the end of my sentence. Twilight began nuzzling my neck comfortingly.

"You know, that doesn't matter to me. I feel like you tried your hardest, and even then you had no choice. If anything, I'd say it's like you saved yourself for me-- us. Us girls, you know who I mean. Anyway, it's like nothing happened. As far as I'm concerned, this is your first. Also..." Twilight took in a deep shuddering sigh and moved her head to look me in the eyes.

"What?" I sniffled out, feeling a bit better.

"You've got to let that sadness about your promise go... I mean, do you really think your parents are that upset with you? Look at the situation logically. You're a wealthy, loved, successful, heroic, grown stallion now. You've done things that most ponies could only dream of doing. An entire country hails you as a great hero for crying out loud! Wouldn't your parents, anypony's parents really, be extremely proud of that?! Would your promise really make them any less proud or pleased with you?"

"Well..." I thought for a while. Her words rang true. Stunningly true, actually. My parents couldn't possibly blame me, let alone be disappointed in me for what had happened.

"If anything, they should be proud of you for being such a great pony and finding not one, but four mares that love you!" Twilight popped a small smile. "You know, when you actually let us love you."

"Y-you're right... I've done great! I'm sure my parents don't care, and I shouldn't either."

"Good." Twilight whispered happily. She leaned in close to my ear and started grinding her hips against my stomach. "Now would you please... stop getting distracted and fuck me? ... Master?" I grinned. She really wanted me, apparently. Now that I thought of it, why should I still be worried? After all, I had a great life, a great kid, a great job, great friends... and fantastic marefriends. Twilight was right, and really, really heated! She had moved on to nibbling at my neck and tracing little lines on my chest with her forehooves.

"Geez, alright then." I conceeded with a small laugh, totally over my sour mood. "If you're that ready..." I grabbed her leash and sat up, tossing her a few inches away from me. I then flipped her onto her back and thumped my unoccupied palm against her chest. "Then hold still... Oh, let's make this challenging. Don't make a sound." I grinned devilshly. "That's an order."

"Oooooh.... Finally getting into it, eh?" Twilight moaned as she tried to wiggle excitedly. I held her fast against the bed and glared at her, fully adopting the role she wanted me to take.

"Did I say you could talk? You broke the 'hold still' and 'no sound' rules already as well! How very naughty of you!" I scolded laughingly as I filled my head with as many fantasies of what was to come as possible. Soon, I was hard as a rock and ready to finally give Twilight exactly what she had been waiting for. I looked down to make sure I could align myself correctly. With some twisting and scooting, I managed to get my rod pressed right against Twilight's waiting, wet entrance. I pressed myself into her gently, trying to enter her without being to forceful and risking hurting her. I didn't know much about sex, but I had heard that it hurt girls to do it the first time.

Then, with a sudden movement that caught me off guard, I slipped into her. With just head of my rod in her, Twilight looked like she was trying to stifle a moan. However, I could feel that I was pressed up agaist a wall of some sort. The moment I registered this, the little wall broke and Twilight let out a small squeak. The expression on her face turned to one of extreme pain, so I pulled out and began panicking a little.

"Tw-Twilight?! You ok?!" I half-shouted half-whispered. I looked down and saw blood. Only a little, but it didn't do anything to calm me down. "Oh my god! I just killed Twilight with my dick!" I nearly screamed, releasing Twilight's chest in my panic. Twilight's horn glowed and my mouth suddenly clamped shut.

"Hee hee, I'm fine silly. It just hurt a little. Please, keep going... sorry for talking." Twilight said comfortingly. I untensed slowly and relaxed a little. I guessed that... whatever that was, was supposed to happen. I cleared my throat a few times and focused on regaining my composure a bit. After just a few seconds, Twilight reached out and tried to hug me closer to her. I thumped my hand back down on her chest.

"Geez, for the one that asked for this, you sure break your own rules a lot." I pointed out jokingly as I reassumed my position over her. I could see her try not to make a sound as I pressed my member against her once more. With even more caution than before, I slowly pressed myself into her. Twilight raised a hoof to cover her mouth right as the head of my shaft popped into her. With near-glacial speed, I continued filling Twilight painfully slowly. Twilight didn't seem to mind. In fact, she seemed to be concentrating really hard on getting used to me. Though it was slow, I found her tightness extremely pleasureable. Every single bit I slid into her sent waves of pleasure through my body, making it harder and harder to maintain my self-control and not slam the rest of my eager manhood into her.

However, even I have limits.

With only an inch or so left to go, I finally gave in to the immense pleasure and bottomed out into Twilight roughly. Twilight's head tossed back and she looked like she was about to squeal, but she clapped both hooves over her mouth.

"You hurt?" I growled lowly, not wanting her to say yes. Twilight shook her head 'no' vigorously and waved with one hoof as a sign for me to continue. Sure that she was fine, I pulled out until only the tip of my prick was left in her. I slowly, though not as slowly as before, plowed back into her depths. Twilight's face scrunched up cutely as she struggled to not shout. I groaned a bit as Twilight's tight marehood grasped me again, stimulating me even further. I started a slowly increasing rhythm of plowing in and out of Twilight. I could feel every bit of movement due to her vice-like hold on me, and by her scrunched, happy expression, I guessed she could too.

Twilight suddenly squeaked a bit. I noticed her extremely fast breathing and tensed muscles through my pleasure-hazed vision. Twilight was nearly finished, and I was only about half done! It didn't matter though, I was happy to know she was enjoying herself. I leaned in closer to whisper to her.

"Go ahead and finish, love. You can make noise now too, so scream for me." I ordered lustily. Twilight didn't need to be told twice.

"S-sharkyyyyyyyy!" She cried as her orgasm rocked through her. I kept up my now moderately fast pace through her orgasm while her walls spasmed around me wonderfully. I pulled my head away from Twilight and noticed her mouth hanging open as she screamed out her I yanked up on her leash, cutting off the last bits of her scream and pulling her face towards mine. I closed my eyes and kissed her gently, she did the same almost instantly. I took my hand off of her chest and wrapped it around her back while I continued gently making love to her. Without stopping or breaking the kiss, I rolled us both back so that I was laying on the bed and Twilight was on top of me.

Almost as if obeying a silent command, Twilight began moving her body up and down to continue our slow lovemaking. However, she took on a much faster pace than I had. I could only assume she was trying to tell me that's what she had wanted me to do anyway. I groaned openly and placed my hands on Twilight's hips. I began helping her rock her body to increase our pace even more. Twilight was taking full advantage of having her ability to make sounds back. She moaned and squeak into my mouth adorably with every thrust.

It was wonderful, never before in my entire life had I felt anything better than what I was doing right now. I pulled my mouth away from Twilight's and she nuzzled her head into the crook of my neck.

"Ah! A-ah! I-I love you so much Master!" Twilight screamed into my neck as she slammed herself into me.

"I l-love you too, Twi." I grunted out between my clenched teeth. Twilight screamed again as a second, less powerful, orgasm hit her. The sound was entirely muffled by my neck, but the lack of sound did nothing to lessen the massive amounts of warmth and pleasure that assaulted my prick as Twilight's marehood clamped down on me greedily. I tried to hold back as the pleasure hurled me over the edge of orgasm, but it was no use. I didn't even have time to pull out. "Twilight! I-I'm cumming!"

"Yes, please! Fill me, Master!" Twilight cried, obviously lost in her lust. I slammed her hips into mine and shut my mouth tight to keep from screaming as I finally went over the edge and began pumping my seed into her. All the possible meaning of what was happening flew through my head. What if she got pregnant? What if I had hurt her with that slam? Twilight didn't care in the slightest. She had let her tongue loll out while I came, making a little wet spot on my neck.

Then, right before I had even finished filling Twilight, the worst possible sound popped up.

"Hey guys! I'm hooooome!" Spike shouted from downstairs. I froze up instantly in fear, Twilight tensed up against me as well. Had he been there listening?! Then there was the sound of a door slamming, and I relaxed a little. He had only just shown up. I couldn't stay like I was though, I could already hear his little footsteps coming upstairs. I finished cumming almost the moment Spike showed up, so I pulled out of Twilight, tossed her off of me lightly, backflipped off of the bed through the sheer power of panic, and dashed to the bathroom.

"S-Spike! Uhhh... Stay down there! C-could you ummmm.... Go find me the book on the proper way to raise tropical plants really quick!" Twilight shouted back to him quickly.

"Uhhh... Isn't that upstairs?" Spike asked from right next to the door.

"N-no! I distinctly remember moving it downstairs!" Twilight nearly screamed back in a panic. She was right to still panic. Sure, I was gone, but there were still a bunch of really suspicious things around, on, and in her.

"Ok, whatever you say." Spike replied with an almost audible shrug in his voice. His little steps went back downstairs.

That was freaking close.

Author's Note

Moral of this: Not everypony that you love with like the same things as you do. EX: Twilight's leash thing. Learn to love them even more for their differences and faults.

Thorned Shark: An Insane Interrogation

FIRST! This is a collab interview by: The Psychopath For his fic: The Psychopath Interrogates
SECOND! This contains spoilers for further along due to the time the interview is set in.
THIRD! The interviewer, The Sociopath, also belongs to The Psychopath. He wanted to make sure I said that.
FOURTH! Make sure you actually go to his fic and read the rest of the interviews. Now uhhh... have fun reading this.

I walked into the little store with a heavy sigh, careful to avoid hitting my head on the door frame. “Why do I have to do this again, Gilda?” I questioned as she dragged me into the store.

“You have to help me pick out the dining set for the wedding! Duh!” She explained once again. “I’ll go over there,” She pointed at the general right side of the store. “and see if I can find some nice plates. You go over there and try to find nice cups!” She pointed to the left side of the store.

“I don’t see why we can’t leave your mother and the servants to details like this...” I griped, really not wanting to be in a china store.

“Because I feel it’s important we give our wedding a personal touch. Don’t you agree? Sweetie?”

“Oh, of course, dear.” I leaned down and gave Gilda a quick peck on the cheek for the benefit of the reporters outside, who were actually leaving surprisingly fast. She smiled at me, then turned and left to go look for plates, or whatever she had just said. I went to my side like the good husband I should be and began scouring the shelves for interesting cups.

The bell of the store rung softly as another “customer” came through, his appearance being rather unrefined. His darkened green hair and tail were rather unkempt, and they smelt of war and battle. Looking around, he spat at the decorations, his triangular, lime-green pupils spinning violently at the view. His appearance was interesting, but made me wary at the same time. Something told me not to mess with this stallion.

“What a wretched looking place. There are no pure, Equestrian monuments. Then again, this isn’t much for accommodating anypony. Now where is he? I wonder if it’s that hairless creature over there. You!” he shouted with a loud voice. “Are you the biped capable of absorbing magic?” The stallion’s voice boomed throughout the shop.

I looked up over the shelves at him interestedly. Maybe this little pony could provide something to focus on other than china dishware.

“Technically speaking, I mimic, not absorb. You’ve got the wrong biped, sir.”

“I doubt it. Mimicking is a similar concept to copying--”

“But you said absorbing.”

“So I did. What of it? I was sent by the World of Insanity as it deemed you a possible candidate due to your powers.” He said with a straightforward tone.

“World of Insanity? What’s that?” I found it a bit inappropriate to shout across the store to speak with him, so I waved him over to me.

He tightened his eyes, but walked towards me, his hoofsteps stomping upon the ground violently.

“I have a few questions to ask you before I can deem anything of you.” He eyed me up and down with anger.

“Uhhh... dude, slow your roll. I need some answers too, this isn’t a one-way thing. Nice eyes, by the way.”

“Hey! Who’s that you’re talking to, Sharky?” Gilda called from the other end of the store.

“I’ve got no idea, hun.” I shouted back without dropping eye contact with the strange stallion. “Just try to find the plates, ‘kay?”

“Alright...” Gilda continued disinterestedly.

“Watch how you’re looking at the commander of the Council’s Militia.” he snapped at me. “I’m not here to entertain you. I’m here to interrogate you. Nothing more, nothing less. After this is over, I only need to send my report, then I can return to my searches of that wench.” he glared.

“Yeah, yeah, that’s nice, but you aren’t exactly giving me much to work with here. Who are you, what is this World of Insanity?”

He ground his teeth in anger. “I’m The Sociopath. I am the head commander of the Council’s Militia; the protector’s of Equestrian lands. The World of Insanity is where my loyalties now lie. It gives you great power in a bid to spread its influence. It’s superior to the World of Illogic in every way...where that damned idiot now belongs to.” he growled and continued to grind his teeth.

“See? Was that so hard? Alright, ask away, champ.”

He narrowed his eyes as he analyzed me. His weird pupils spinning wildly in two different directions.

“Hmmm. What do you like to do? I would prefer if you performed any types of combat.”

“Like to do? Uhhh... I haven’t had time for a hobby since I got here... I guess hunt monsters. Protecting the citizens makes me feel good.”

“Hm. I approve of the monster hunting, but the citizens are not priorities.” he spoke with a rather royal posture.

“Well, yeah they are. You gotta protect the innocent, no matter the cost.” My eyes wandered over to Gilda and I thought of all my friends. “Personal cost, that is. Only if it hurts me.”

“A monster hunter becoming attached to lesser beings tends to lose their lives the second their companions are lost. Remove them from your life and you will perform better for whatever firm you work for.”

“Not happening short stuff. My friends are all I’ve got, all that matters. Other than protecting, of course.”

“Hmph. Pathetic. You would have made a poor recruit for the Militia. Next question. Do you have any family?”

“None biological, no. I have an adopted son and a few pets. Obviously I’m about to get married though.”

His face showed disinterest and boredom.

“Wonderful.” he rolled his eyes, “So no one really. That’s a good point. Anything you do for a living? And who do you work for?”

“I work for Princess Luna, killing monsters and doing the occasional odd job.”

There was a moment of silence, and Sociopath’s eye twitched. Something was going on in his mind, judging by the small growths beginning to come out from everywhere around us.”Are you anything specific to...the princesses?” he wondered with no emotion on his face.

“A knight. Why?”

A resounding crack erupted as immense thorns blasted through several walls, the vases and plates around either trembling or falling on the ground.

“You work as a knight for the inferior Royal Guard and those weakling mares? And you call yourself a warrior protecting his ‘friends’.” he snarled. His pupils were glowing ominously.

“Yeah. Now calm down and retract the thorns buddy. As it is, I’m gonna have to pay for the stuff you just broke.”

“W-what the hell is going on?!” Gilda shouted.

“It’s fine honey, just find your plates and get out, fast. Oh, and to be clear, I’m not technically a royal guard. That’s that asshole, Shining Armor’s division. I’m more along the lines of a merc.”

“The fact of the matter being that you work for those accursed brats who consider themselves royalty. They dissolved the militia after I disappeared, then they dishonored their memory by turning the successors into pure weaklings. They are incapable of doing anything. I would have impaled that changeling queen, but you wouldn’t have done that, would you? I should kill the princesses in this world, but they aren’t the ones I know. This does not change anything from their reputations as weakling rulers, especially Luna.” his anger was seeping with great ferocity as the thorns began to grow and stretch over the walls.

“... What’s a changeling?”

“...You call yourself a monster hunter...Perhaps they don’t exist in this version of Equestria. You’ll soon find out for yourself.”

“Well, I certainly haven’t been told to kill any yet. So, how about retracting those thorns, eh champ?”

“What for? You work for the princesses. I have nothing to fear from you. A final question, however. Describe your power. How do you activate it, and how does it function?”

*slap*

“Wanna be mad? Be mad at me. Remove the thorns from the store.”

Sociopath rubbed his cheek, then a huge barrage of thorns erupted from beneath me, blocking me within a confined space.

“This is what we would do to the griffins who would kill our comrades. Those wretched beasts, unfortunately, are still around. I miss the days of warfare with them, but fighting the whole Griffin army without my troops would remove any amusement from their deaths.” he smiled ferociously.

“Well, this is a new trick. Gilda, shopkeep, get out. Now.” they ran out without a second thought.

“Oh. Don’t worry, I won’t hurt the shopkeeper or your feathered pet. I’m only here to ask questions. Simply answer my last and I’ll leave this horrid world. It’s so...weak.”

“Are you fireproof?”

“Fire is irrelevant. Why the question?”

Then I summoned Ravidos’s rage and lit my hands on fire. I reached through the thorns, grabbed the strange stallion, and hurled him through the front door. I then stood up and followed him.

“Alright, ask your last question now.” I ordered as I left the store.

He brushed himself off as the scorch marks around his neck remained.

“Hm. Elemental magic. I am thoroughly unimpressed. I had already asked you the question as well. The functions of your powers and how you activate them, as well as their effects on your body.” he smiled faintly.

“Right, forgot. I was distracted by the thorns. Which, by the way, is considered Earth elemental magic, hypocrite. I don’t activate it. It just happens. I stand next to somepony and their magic slowly molds the unshaped magic in my body to match theirs.”

Sociopath laughed openly at this remark.

“Earth magic? You think the walls had ground in them? You think that these thorns growing from my legs are from the land as well? There are things in existence that silly peasants such as yourself cannot hope to comprehend, let alone try and control. I would watch my back if I were you, as there are many powers yet unknown to those working for those two brats with crowns.”

“Yeah yeah, well I’d work for a rat if I thought it helped the general public. No need to get so hung up on my employers.”

“Your employers are weaklings who only deserve death, and you intend to marry a griffin. I find nothing impressive about you except for your bizarre power. *sigh* However, if the World of Insanity says that you are a worthy recruit... I find that you would belong more to the pathetic World of Illogic. Your thought pattern is too close to theirs. Weaklings, all of them.”

“If you say so. Let me tell you something about Gilda though...” I leaned in close and told him the truth of our marriage. “And again, would work for a rat if it helped the public. It’s not about the princesses, they just happen to be able to get me to where I’m needed fastest.”

“I’m disgusted. They shouldn’t receive that sort of treatment. They should be obliterated from existence! Your kind and the ponies of this era are all but weaklings. I had hoped a millenary of absence would have changed everything, but it seems that all it did was weaken the resolve and the honor of all self-respecting ponies. Unless you have something to add, I will leave this world and give my report.”

“Know any place where I can get decent invitations?” I teased, not caring for the stallion’s presence any more.

“Perhaps at the tinkering china store?” he countered.

The ground trembled a bit and, looking back at the store, immense thorns suddenly blasted out of it, tearing the place apart with violent sounds of crumbling and shattering.

“There we go. Now that obscene object has been disposed of.”

“... Crap.”

“Hmhm. Now I will take my leave. You do not seem like a very promising candidate for the World of Insanity.” he said as he turned his back.

“Screw you too, buddy. Now I have to do so much stuff... Well, this is better than china shopping anyway...” I walked away from the strange stallion, muttering to myself about how to deal with this mess.

Another immense construction of thorns erupted from the ground in front of Sociopath. They didn’t seem to do anything, but the middle portion spread away to give view to a very bright light.

“What is the next candidate, I wonder.”

Interview

I removed my head from the mini-crater in the wall and turned back to pick up my crying son. With an unnatural calmness, I began rocking him in my arms to soothe him. It turned out he wasn't that disturbed, just surprised. He stopped crying and looked up at me with confused, huge, adorable eyes.

"D-daddy?" He whimpered. I smiled softly and nuzzled his cheek with my head.

"It's alright son. Everything is ok, just a loud pony is all." I soothed quietly.

*FLASH*

"And a really annoying camera that daddy might break here soon." I continued. That got the little guy to giggle.

"Whoops, forgot to turn it off..." the cameraman muttered.

"Wow, this is a great start already! Father and child!" the newsmare gushed. "What's the little one's name?"

"Hold on, hold on. I'd prefer my son not be here for the actual interview. Let me go see if my ma-- Twilight doesn't mind watching him."

"Oh yes, of course." she conceeded a little too easily. I gave her a skeptic look, but shrugged and walked upstairs in search of Twilight. She was on our-- my bed in the room. It was still too small for us to effectively sleep together. Unless she slept pressed up against m--

"Ohhhhh!" I exclaimed suddenly, realizing every little sleeping episode I had with the girls had been planned. Twilight sat up quickly with a startled gasp. "Hi Twi."

"Sharky! You're back! Could you consult me next time? Before you let a strange mare and her brother into our house?"

"Oh... heh heh, sure. Sorry. Anyway, would you mind putting Unity to bed while I talk with the reporters?"

"Oh, you did manage to get him from Fluttershy. I was worried she may have asked you to prove it or something before giving him to you."

"Really? Why?"

"Mr. Shiny said she seemed determined to make sure it happened. For obvious reasons." she gave me a small wink.

"What reasons?" I tilted my head and gave her a vacant expression. Twilight sighed.

"Nevermind. Here, I'll take Unity..." Twilight levitated the drowsy little bundle out of my arms. "While you go deal with that mare downstairs."

"Thanks sweetie, you're the best." I said in my best cheesy T.V. show voice. I leaned forward and kissed Twilight on the cheek before going back downstairs. "Alright, where were we?"

"Please, come stand over here." the newsmare beckoned for me to join her next to the table in the middle of the room. They had removed the horse head carving from the table and placed it in the corner of the room.

"Alright then." I walked over to stand across the table from her. Her brother was standing a few feet away from the table with his camera at the ready. "So, before we start, can I get your names?"

"Alright, usually I start the questioning, but you're a special case. My name is Beeze, Beeze Kneeze. My brother's name is Cats Pajamas. Great names, huh?" she asked intently. I was about to sarcastically agree with her, but she seemed pretty serious about it.

"Uhhh.... yeah, great." I cleared my throat awkwardly. "Anyway, let's get to those questions."

"Of course! Now, let's start with recent events. You were being held captive in the Gryffin Death Arena. Why was that? We've all heard the rumors and statement from the King, but what do you say happened?" she leaned a bit too far in and held her notepad just a little too readliy as she asked her question. It kind of creeped me out.

"Well, I had requested permission to officially protect his daughter, Gilda. The princess, you know. He had me prove my worth by fighting in the Arena. Now I'm her protector."

"Really? You risked your coat to just get permission to protect her? Most ponies wouldn't do that kind of thing just out of the goodness of their hearts. Unless... is there something special about this princess you're protecting?"

"Well yeah. She's a good friend of mine, and she was in danger. I'll do anything to protect a friend."

The mare stuck out her lower lip in a tiny pout. "She's just a friend? How boring. Oh well, very noble of you to protect her like that."

"Boring?"

"Next question. That child you brought in. Is he yours?"

"Well... yes. I'd like him to be left out of the interview though."

"Nopony has ever even thought you had a child... This is stupendous! What's the little munchkin's name?" the mare began nearly bouncing in her seat as she scribbled furiously on her notepad.

"Unity, but--" I began slowly

"Who's the mother?"

"None."

"What? You mean he has no mother?" the mare suddenly stopped her erratic, excited movements.

"Nnope. He's only got me. Well, admittedly, he's more got my friends to watch after him. Twilight and Fluttershy."

"Oh? He's adopted? Or... is he somehow yours?"

"No... well, yes... Let's just say he's adopted." it was better to say that then say he was the offspring of my mirror image and Discord.

"Ok, and these friends of yours... are they like his mothers?"

"Yes."

"In every aspect? They're in a relationship with you?"

I grinned at the possibilty of finally being able to sate this mare's obvious desire for dirt on my love life.

"Why yes, Twilight is my marefriend. She's the mare that owns this house, and likely greeted you when you arrived." as I finished my statement, the mare's eyes seemed to expand with delight. "In fact, would you like me to get her down here to talk with her a little bit as well?"

"Yes. That would be quite nice." the mare said in an unnervingly calm voice. Her pupils were nearly as large as her irises, and she had the dumbest grin on her face.

*FLASH*

"Totally not holding this picture over her later..." I heard her brother mumble. I supressed a snicker and walked upstairs to find Twilight. I cracked our bedroom door open. The room was pitch black, and I could only guess as to where she was.

"Twilight? You here?" I whispered, knowing Unity was likely asleep nearby.

"Hmmm?" a sleepy groan came from the direction of our bed. "Sharky? I'm trying to sleep..."

"You tired already?" I turned to look at the windows downstairs. "It's not even dark yet though."

"Yeah... our little event earlier made me really sleepy..." she mumbled as if she were about to pass back out.

"Well, would you mind coming downstairs for a moment to answer some questions and maybe take a picture?" I listened to her silence for a moment, and almost gave up on getting a reply when I heard her hooves tap against the ground.

She let out a sigh. "For you, Sharky, I'll do it." The room suddely lit up from a faint light. As soon as my eyes refocused, I could see that the light was from Twilight's horn, and that she was trotting over to me. Her mane was a little disheveled, but even so, she looked great to me. "Do I look good enough for pictures?" she wondered drowsily.

"Always, my love." I assured her with a smile and a pat on her head. She returned my smile and began going downstairs.

"Oh good! You're back!" Beeze exclaimed as Twilight sat down and I stepped off the stairs. "Now we can continue. So, how long have you two known each other?" she asked before I even joined Twilight downstairs.

"A few months now. Ever since he showed up in Equestria." Twilight answered for me.

"Awww, adorable!" Beeze squealed as I sat down by Twilight and laid my arm behind her neck.

*FLASH*

"How long have you two been an item?"

"Technically ever since right before I went to the Arena, but only about a day or so officially." I answered.

"What made you interested in this young mare, Hero?" Beeze flinched a little bit as I gave her a bit of a glare.

"It's Sharky. My name is Sharky. To answer your question, she's smart, pretty, thoughtful, sweet, a great mother figure for Unity, and she's been nothing but kind to me ever since I arrived. I didn't have to become a hero for her to like me... Oh, and you should taste her killer omelets." by the time I finished talking, Twilight was blushing furiously.

*FLASH*

"You're quite the romantic, Sharky. Yet another thing the public doesn't know about you! Hmmm... tell me, Miss Twilight, was it? What do you find so appealing about Sharky?"

"Well... He's smart, strong, brave, whenever we read together he's always so warm and nice to lean on, he's a good dad, he loves his pets and friends, he makes me feel pretty, his cooking is delightful, and more than anything, he cares. About everything. Everypony he sees, he would protect with his life. It scares me a lot, when he gets hurt for it, but I also love him for it." Twilight leaned into me and looked up lovingly. I smiled at her and inwardly scolded my tears for trying to escape my eyes. Without thinking about it, I leaned down to give her a kiss.

*FLASH*

"I will break that camera if you don't turn the flash off." I warned Cats. Twilight giggled a little bit as I sat back up for the interview.

"Awww.... You two are just soooo cute together!" Beeze squeaked. "Tell me Sharky, who else is in your herd? A stallion like you must have quite the herd, am I right?"

"... My what?" I questioned dumbly.

"Your herd silly! The group of mares you decide to spend the rest of your life with? Don't tell me somepony like you has only got one girl!"

"Herding? Stallions take multiple mares here? Well, no. I've only got Twilight here, and that's how it'll stay for awhile. Right Twilight?" I turned to Twilight as I finished, but she wasn't listening to me. In fact, she seemed to be thinking really hard. I gave her a small shake and cleared my throat. "Right Twilight?"

"Huh? Oh, I'm sorry. I'm still really sleepy. Do you three mind if I head back to bed?" Twilight asked. Something about the way she spoke led me to believe that wasn't the whole truth, but I chalked it up to me being overly analytical and seeing things that weren't there.

"Sure, we can be done with this section of the interview if you want." Beeze offered graciously. "Please, go get some rest."

Twilight nodded thankfully and headed upstairs for some shuteye. I still couldn't shake the feeling that something was up, but I decided to ignore it for now.

"Anyway, next section. I'd like to get to know a bit more about you as a stallion. Everypony sees the hero side of you, but what about the real you? Tell me, how old are you?"

"I'm 21 as of last winter." I explained easily. Beeze's eyes widened a bit.

"You're 21? Wow, still so young! I had you figured somewhere around 30."

I frowned a bit in confusion. "I thought you guys were considered mature around 14 though. Why would 21 be considered really young?"

"Well, technically we're mature at 14 and can date, even choose to mate in some cases, but we aren't really considered to be adults until around 25."

"Huh..."

"Anyway, what do you do in your spare time? You know, when you aren't hunting and saving ponies."

"Well... I dunno, I usually spend most of my time doing just that. Whenever I'm not on the job, I spend whatever time I can hanging out with my friends, pets, and son."

"Alright, last question. Why do you risk your life hunting monsters? Obviously you aren't a pony, and if you wanted, you could do pretty much anything you wanted. Why use your power and abilities to help a race that you don't even belong to?" she seemed a bit uneasy while asking her last question, as if bringing it up would make me change my mind about helping them.

"Why? Well..." I paused for a moment to truly ponder the reason I did what I did. I mean, she was right. If I wanted to, I could just take whatever I wanted. I could make life hell for all these ponies, up until either Celestia or Luna put me down like a mad dog. Deep down though, I knew I wouldn't do that. There were reasons for that. "Because back on my world, I always dreamed of being able to save anypony. I wanted to be a hero, like any young child does at some point. When I was sent here, that chance presented itself to me. Here, I'm a giant. A force to be reckoned with. Back on my world, I was the puny, nerdy, freak that was too smart for his own good. So, I guess I protect you guys to fufill my own selfish dreams."

"Really? Well, correct me if I'm wrong, but one doesn't usually nearly die to protect ponies they barely know in their dreams. Any normal pony would likely turn tail and run the moment they realized their lives were very much in danger. Judging by Luna's hunt reports, you've been on the brink of death many times, yet you keep fighting for us. There has to be some reason beyond selfish need."

*sigh* "Well, that's all there is. Maybe I'm just not the hero you think me to be. I've told you all before, and I'll do it again. I'm not a hero."

"Sharky... There's more to you. You're not just a selfish brute that protects us because he can. There's a reason, I know it. Please, try to find it and tell us the truth!"

"... Look, I'll tell you... I do this for me, but not for myself. Earlier I mentioned the fact that I was small and nerdy. You see, I was very intelligent. I was in High School before I even hit puberty. Because of this... I was always the smallest kid. The wierdest kid. The most vulnerable kid. I was picked on nearly all my life. Then, one person reached out to me. A young man that will forever be a hero in my eyes, because he stood up for me. He protected me. He was my hero, and my friend. One day, he was killed. My hero was gone, my friend was dead. I didn't know what to do without him...

I was lost...

I so nearly fell into a dark hole that I would've never gotten out of in my mind. I nearly gave up hope. Then, one day... I heard his voice. I don't know how, I might have been so depressed I imagined it. He said to me: 'Be the hero.' I sat in the spot where I had heard him for hours, begging him to come back. He never did, but his words stuck with me. I needed to be like he was, strong. Not only for myself, but for him." I swallowed roughly and continued, "I never stood by and let anyone pick on me, or anybody else again. Now... now I do the same in his memory. I protect because it's what he would want, what my family would want, what I want."

"That's... that's..." *sniffle* Beeze wiped her eyes with the back of her hoof quickly. "Wow. That's quite the story..."

*click*

"Yeah..." I mumbled, not quite sure what else to say.

"Well... if it means anything... I'm sure your friend is very proud of you..." Beeze offered.

"Yeah... He totally is." Cats agreed, tears evident in his voice. I hadn't even known he was really listening.

"Thanks. Anyway, it's late. You two should get going. I'm sure you've got a deadline to meet or something."

"Yes, yes we do." *sniffle* "C-c'mon Cats, time to go. Thanks for this, by the way..." Beeze backed away from the table and trotted to the door as she had said. Cats followed her dutifully, but at the doorway, he stood straight up as if he had just been shocked.

"W-wait a minute! Didn't you say you were small and weak for your kind? W-what the hell is a strong version of your species like?!"

"Actually, I used to be small and weak. I grew up though, and I've only gotten stronger since coming here. I'm likely the strongest of my kind now. Most likely." upon hearing this explanation, Cats seemed to calm back down and left. He was kind enough to close the door behind him. With them gone, I let my exhaustion take over. I drooped over and let out a huge sigh. "Man, my bed is gonna feel so great here soon... especially if Twilight's there." I grinned to myself and stood to go to bed.

*HAAAAAAALLELUJAH*

"... You're kidding."

*HAAAAAAALLELUJAH*

"You're not kidding!" I whipped out my phone and answered Luna's call dutifully. "Luna, what is it? I was just about to go to bed!"

"We apologize for interrupting thine vacation, but We desperately need thine aid!"

"Luna, slow down. It's 'I' and 'your'. Not we and thine." I corrected. Luna gave me a dumbfounded look.

"This is not the time for such trivialities! Thine skills as a hunter are needed now!"

"What for?"

"A hibernating Scorpio Major was discovered during a mining expedition! We sent a small group of specialized hunters to deal with it, but the last member of the party called back to report mission failure. Typically we would just ask Steel to deal with this in thine stead, however, thou beat him into a quivering pulp only a few days ago."

"... Crap. Well, duty calls! Best part of this one is Twilight is too asleep to complain! Let's go!"

"Very well, brace thyself."

"Wait, did you say Scorpio Major?!" I shouted right before vanishing in a flash of black light.

That's Not So Bad... Oh...

I reappeared in the middle of... nowhere. There was literally next to nothing to be seen. It seriously reminded me of 'Courage the Cowardly Dog's landscape, right down to the tumbleweeds and lack of life. However, there was one small collection of buildings a sizeable distance away from me, and a large hole in the earth much closer than that. The hole was very obviously the entrance to a mine, once. However, it looked like it had been smashed further open and then collapsed on itself.

"Oh thank Luna! She sent you!" a male voice called from behind me. I turned around to see a unicorn stallion in full Lunar Guard armor. His armor had plates broken off of it, and there was blood dripping off of him in various places on his body.

"Whoa... You must be the last of the team Luna sent here, right? Where's the beast? You fed your teammates to it to save your own ass, didn'cha?"

"I-is that the Steven Luna warned me about?! A-and I don't know! It burrowed. It could be under us right now!" the stallion seemed to be on the verge of panic.

"Calm down, calm down. What happened to the rest of your team?" I decided to ignore the comment on Steven for now.

"They... it ate them. All of them."

"Oh. I didn't know celestial monsters ate... I mean, I assume this thing is celestial, right? I heard Scorpio Major and naturally I assumed... Well, I officially just discovered my favorite thing on this rock!" I trailed off. The stallion gave me a horrified expression.

"Y-you mean you don't even know what it is?!"

"Did you when you showed up?" I countered.

"Yes! I'm part of a team specifically made to hunt down celestial beasts that go on a rampage!"

"... Then what the hell excuse do you have for failing?! Damn man, failing at the one thing you should be able to do right? You suck." I shouted. If he was a part of a team designed to kill things like this, why couldn't they even do their job?

"Scorpios hibernate for centuries, and hardly ever even visit the surface. This is the first time any team has dealt with one in over a hundred years! We had no chance, we didn't know what we were up against."

"... Well, fair enough. Tell me whatever you can."

"I told you, we didn't know anyt--"

"Yeah, but you just fought the thing, right?! You should also know some stuff about celestial beasts overall, so tell me!"

"W-well... They can only be inj--"

"Injured by magic or legendary weapons, yeah I got that. Anything else?" I motioned for him to speed up. If that thing truly could spring out of the ground at any moment, I needed to be ready quickly

"I-It's a killer sir. Fastest beast I've fought. You better kill it fast, because there's only one other way to stop a celestial beast."

"How?"

"Feed it. If you can't beat it, it'll just eat and eat until it goes back to sleep." he shivered as he finished his statement. I felt my mouth suddenly go dry.

"How much will it eat?"

"Well... Los Pegasus isn't far from here. Big city, I'm sure you know. Half of the ponies there could die. Maybe more to sate this one."

"Oh... crap. You better call Luna and head home. I'll handle this from here."

"W-wait! My whole team was taken out by that thing! You think you can beat it?!"

"Don't believe me? Stay and watch. However, it's best you leave, just in case. Luna's magic mirror things are standard issue, right?"

"Of course!" he pulled a little mirrior out of a coin pouch on his hip to prove it.

"Good. Just call Luna and go then." I turned my back to him and began scanning the ground for any hint of the Scorpio's location or direction. However, other than a few holes where I guessed it had entered and exited the ground, there was no sign of it. I had to be at least a decent distance underground for there to be no sign of its passage.

"H-hey!" the stallion called. I whipped the Buster Sword off my back and turned to him, expecting him to be under attack. Instead, I almost cleaved his head in half. I barely managed to turn my blade away from him at the last second. To his credit, he didn't even flinch.

"Awww dammit, we missed! Dude! I almost killed you! What is it?!"

"I... I want to help you! For my team, I need to see this mission through to the end! Whatever that may be." he demanded bravely, despite the fact that he was obviously terrified. I sighed and thought for a moment. If I didn't let him go with me, he'd likely just follow me anyway and end up in danger since I wouldn't be directly trying to work with him. My only real choice was to let him help.

"Alright, you can come along then. Well, so much for letting real men handle this. Just try to stay out of the way of my blades and don't get hurt, ok?"

"You got it sir! I won't let you down! ... Could you shut that Steven thing up though? He's distracting me."

"Sorry, I can't control him outside of my dreams. Just don't talk directly to him or about him and he should eventually get bored of doing... whatever he does. Not likely."

"Will do sir. So, what's the plan?"

"My plan is to stop the Scorpio from getting to Los Pegasus. Violently, of course. Gotta love the violence. What's your name, by the way?"

"My name is Lightning Starslayer. I figured we were going to stop it from getting it to Los Pegasus, but how are we going to find it and stop it?"

I stood up perfectly straight, then began jumping up and down. I made sure to slam my feet into the ground as hard as I could each time I came back down.

"... What are you doing?"

"Isn't it obvious? *slam* I'm calling the Scorpio Major! *slam* Yeah, you're pretty stupid if *slam* you couldn't figure that out."

"Well... forgive me if this seems like a stupid question, but how does this help anything?" Lightning trotted over to me and peered at the ground curiously as I stomped, as if I were stomping on the Scorpio or something.

"Well you see, *slam* it's underground, right? *slam* It lives almost its whole life underground, *slam* so far as we know ri-*slam*-ght?"

"Right..."

"Well then, I figure *slam* in order to hunt, it has to *slam* be able to feel the vibrations of its *BOOM* prey!" right before I finished my statement, an enormous, yellow, star-riddled scorpion with a white star-like symbol above its eight, soulless black eyes burst from the ground and tried to grab me in its sectioned maw.

"Whoa!" Lightning was thrown to the side as the beast's massive body surfaced. I barely noticed him though; I was a bit busy trying to not fall into the huge insect's mouth. I kicked off of its face and flew back through the air as it landed thunderously on the ground. I landed mere seconds after it. I was able to get a good look at its body from this distance. It was big, bigger than an Ursa Minor by far. Not as big as an Ursa Major though. Not even as big as Sharic, the dinosaur from the Arena.

"You know, this thing doesn't look so bad!" I shouted to Lightning. Sure, it had a stinger the size of my sword, both of its pincers were big enough to snap me in half, and it had a multi-sectioned mouth just full of pointy little feelers that twitched disturbingly, but it wasn't that bad.

"Are you kidding me?!"

"You're just a bitch! Let's smash it! Just watch!" the huge scorpion charged right at me, hissing like a deranged snake. I braced the Buster Sword and prepared to cut the bastard in half. It reached me, I swung...

...and my sword went right through him.

"Oh shit!" Before I could recover from my swing, the scorpion grabbed me in its right pincer. It lifted me into the air and began trying to split me in half right away. "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" I shrieked. Were I still a normal human, it likely would've killed me in merely a few seconds. Luckily, I wasn't entirely human. "T-thundraga!" I shouted. A bolt fell out of the sky and hit the bug on its tail. It shrieked and dropped me before stumbling back a few steps. Lightning was by my side almost instantly.

"You ok?! Geez, you think you'd come to battle with decent weapons!" he reprimanded me. I gave him an angry glare.

"I-I don't understand! This blade should be legendary!" I shouted back at him. Then it hit me. Nopony in this world knew what the hell sword this was. It likely didn't count here. "Crap, no it isn't. My main weapon is shit against this guy!"

"Here! Give it to me!" Lightning shouted. I gave him a confused look.

"Bro, do you even lift? Dude, I don't think you would be able to use this sword very well."

"Just do it! Look out, it's coming back!" Lightning pointed wildly in the direction the Scorpio had gone. I tossed my sword in his general direction and pulled my ax off of my back. This one I knew would hit for sure, it was magic. Sure enough, Lightning was right. The Scorpio was charging at me madly while snapping both of its claws threateningly. I was about to spring forward and hit it, but it quickly went underground mid-charge.

"What the... Get back here you bitch!"

"Look out! It might be under you!" Lightning warned. I closed my eyes and began searching with my void. Sure enough, he was right. I could sense the Scorpio's massive amount of magic rushing up from below me. I leapt to the side at the last possible second, narrowly dodging the gargantuan beast as it erupted out of the desert-like landscape once more. Lickily, I was prepared this time. I rolled back to my feet right after I landed, then charged at the monster. I reared back and took a mighty swing at one of the thing's legs, cleaving it right off.

"Ha! Take that!" I cried as I reared back for another hit. My ax was suddenly struck by something and knocked out of my hands. I looked up to see the Scorpio's stinger right in my face, rearing back for another stab. "We're fucked." My ax had saved me from the first shot, but now I didn't even have the time to dodge.

"Not so fast!" Lightning cried. The Buster Sword flew through the air, wrapped in a yellow aura. It sliced through the Scorpio's tail, which seperated from its body and faded into nothingness. "You're welcome!"

"Thanks!" I turned and ran to pick up my ax while the Scorpio writhed and screeched in pain. I grabbed it off of the ground it had landed on only a few feet away. With my ax back in hand, I turned back to the Scorpio. It was right behind me, pissed and rearing back with both claws. I leapt into the air quickly, leaving the Scorpio to swing at empty air. I brought my ax down as I fell. I hit the monster in the face, killing it instantly. The body went limp and collapsed on the ground, still twitching eerily. It gradually faded out of view and I was left where it had been, gasping for breath.

"It's dead..." Lightning whispered. I jumped a little. I hadn't even realized he was next to me.

"Yeah, it would seem so." I agreed.

"That was... easy. Why was it so easy?!"

I held up my ax and waved it in front of his face. "This ax is fueled by the souls of four of my friends, and that sword you chucked at it was near unbreakable. It never stood a chance against me." I finished matter-of-factly.

"Wow... By the way, you're bleeding. A lot." he pointed at my split waist. I looked down to see a new massive gash across my stomach that connected the two scars that formed that 'X' on my chest. The gash was likely mirrored on my back.

"Well, we should get going then. Hopefully before I bleed too much... I don't like the idea of nearly bleeding to death again." I stood up and walked over to my sword, which Lightning had left where he had thrown it.

"Again?"

"Yeah, I nearly die a lot. Anyway..." I pulled out my iPhone.

"Whoa, what's that?"

"It's my magic mirror. It formatted itself to something I was more familiar with when Luna gave it to me." I hit Luna's call button and her face faded into view on the screen.

"Hey Luna! I'm all done with the beast, thanks to Lightning here."

"Oh good, We were worried thou might have had more trouble with it. We will teleport you back immediately."

"Alright, sounds good to me." I said with a smile as we disappeared in another flash of light.

*****************************************************************

"Sharky! Thou art bleeding profusely!" Luna squealed when we flashed into the hall outside of her room.

"Yeah. That shit tends to happen when you cowards hurl us at monsters to protect yourselves."

"Lightning Starslayer reporting Luna. The Scorpio Major has been dispatched... at the cost of my team."

Luna seemed to be able to pry her eyes off of my injury just long enough to show concern to Lightning. "Yes, We heard that thine allies passed away in the line of duty when you first requested backup. We do apologize for thine losses and would like thee for thine aid in the salvation of the population of Los Pegasus. Please, return to thine family and rest."

Lightning nodded to her and vanished in a flash of black light. Luna turned her attention back to me and dropped her steady leader facade.

"Oh my gosh Sharky! Are you ok? Are you in a lot of pain?"

"Funny, you never seemed so concerned by my injuries before. Don't worry, I just need to get this bandaged up and I'll be right as rain."

"Please, allow me to bandage it for you. It's the least I can do." Luna offered graciously. I thought for a moment.

"Deal. You can do that instead of paying me. We'll call it like a sort of... me paying a hospital bill."

Luna seemed stunned for a moment, but then she started giggling. "Fine, fine. You always do try to avoid your pay somehow. Come with me." Luna turned and opened the doors to her room, the moon. "Just sit somewhere for a bit, I'll be back with some bandages in a moment." she ordered. I sat down and she left me alone. In the dark of the moon. Shit. In order to keep myself from running around like a headless chicken, I lay down and closed my eyes. By the time Luna got back, I had actually almost fallen asleep. "Sharky, I have the bandages!"

"Huh? Wha... Oh, hi Luna. *yawn* good to hear."

"Are you tired?" Luna questioned as she trotted over to me.

"Well yeah. It's like... the middle of the night, right? I usually sleep now. When I can help it."

"Do you... not like... my night?" Luna asked slowly.

"On the contrary. I love the night." I assured her with a smile. Luna's heart skipped a beat as she noticed the double meaning of his words. Little did she know there was no double meaning. "I just need to sleep sometime, and I need to be with my friends and son during the day."

"Fair enough. " Luna helped me up into a sitting position with her hooves. I was grateful that she didn't use magic. Last thing I needed was wings and a horn breaking my back and head open. She began trying to wrap the bandages around me using only her hooves. I had to help her a lot, but soon enough I was good to go.

"Alright, seems good Luna. Thanks. You can send me home now."

"Oh, yes! Just g--"

"Luna!" Celestia's voice called from somewhere outside her room.

"Oh, please, give me a moment. My sister needs me." Luna politely exused herself. I put on a brave smile and nodded for her to go. As soon as she was gone, I closed my eyes and lay back down. I struggled to stay awake until she returned, I really did. I was so tired though, and it had been such a long day... I fell asleep only seconds after Luna left.

Moon in the Morning

Wednsday, February 20th (Twilight's third day)

I woke up on a stunningly soft bed, with not just my back, but my whole side covered in the warmth that I now recognized as another body against mine. I opened my eyes expecting to see the library, but instead I saw only the void of space. I turned my head downward and saw the moon; I turned further and saw Luna's bed under me. If I was on the moon in Luna's bed... then the warmth behind me was...

I turned in the bed to see Luna cuddled up against my back. Her eyes were closed, but I got the feeling she was awake. Mostly because she told me she never really had to sleep.

"Luna. What's going on?" I asked drowsily. Luna's eyes didn't open. "Luna? Lunaaaaa..." I drifted off slowly and nearly fell back asleep. Luna's eyes snapped open and she darted her head forward so that she was right in my face.

"Boo!" Luna shouted with a giggle in her voice. I rolled over quickly and fell out of her bed.

"Waaagh!" I hit the ground roughly, but it didn't hurt much. Except for the splitting pain that flashed through my stomach and lower back. I rolled onto my back and rocked forward into a sitting position. "Ow..."

"Hee hee! Good morning sleep-stricken hero!" Luna actually giggled. I rubbed my stomach, but didn't openly complain.

"Morning? Why am I here?"

"You fell asleep after I left to aid my sister. I didn't want to just send you back and let you lie wherever you ended up, so I placed you in my bed."

"Ok... I guess that makes sense..." I mumbled as I tried to get to my feet. I was still hurt and sleepy, so I was only barely able to stand. In only a moment, Luna was by my side, supporting me so that I didn't fall over.

"Be careful Sharky. You aren't healed in the slightest." Luna chided me gently. "You need to be careful for a change."

"Got it. So, I understand why you put me in your bed last night, but why were you with me?" I leaned into Luna a bit and draped an arm over her back.

"I wanted to keep an eye on you. Don't worry, I left every once in awhile and didn't use magic to keep from hurting you."

I lifted my free hand to my head and noticed that no horn had forced itself out of my head. Luna had in fact been careful. "Alright, but you could've kept an eye on me from next to the bed just as easily. Why were you in the bed with me?"

Luna giggled again. "Why would I not be?"

"Because..." I actually couldn't think of a solid reason she wouldn't have been there, so I decided to just drop it. "Right. Well, you can go ahead and send me home now. I'm awake and ready to go."

"I think not! You can hardly stand on your own! Do you expect me to just let you leave like this?"

"Yes."

"... No, I will not." Luna said sternly. I took my arm off of her back and stood as steadily as I could on my own.

"Look, I'm fine! Besides, I need to get back! I have promises to keep and a son to look after!"

Luna sighed heavily. "Fine, but I insist you stay here for breakfast. Then, I shall send you home. Deal?"

"Alright, deal." I agreed. Luna smiled at me and trotted off to her door.

"Splendid. I'll go have something made for the two of us. You stay here, we wouldn't want somepony finding out you stayed in my quarters for the whole night, now would we? They might get the wrong message."

"Right, I see your point."

"Not that I have anything wrong with that idea... We just don't want everypony to know if we did something like that." Luna sent me a coy smile and vanished through the doorway. I was left next to her bed with a confused frown.

"Now what the heck was that supposed to mean?" I questioned the moon, which of course, didn't respond.

An hour or two later, I had taken another little nap and Luna and I were now done with some meal I couldn't even pronounce. It was delicious though, and oat-based I believe.

"Alright Luna, you can send me home now." I declared right as I swallowed my last bite of food.

"Sharky, what are those things?" she motioned towards my broken gauntlets.

"Oh, these were shark-based bladed gauntlets my friend Rarity made for me, but I broke them on a skeletal dragon... or was it the cliff before the dragons?"

"Here, leave them with me. I'll have something better made off of this design." she ordered. I hesitated for a moment.

"No thanks Luna. The point isn't in the effectiveness or quality of the gauntlets, but in the fact that they were a gift from a good friend of mine."

Luna gave me an amused smile. "Very well, then leave them here and I'll have them repaired. I'll just have or armor smiths see if they can make anything else for you with a similar design. Perhaps new hindleg armor. Your current set is rather... beaten. Also, do you think we should change your bandages?" she pointed to my now blood soaked bandage.

For a moment, I almost corrected her about my legs being legs, not hindlegs, but I decided it didn't matter. Instead I simply pulled off my gauntlets and placed them in front of her.

"No, I'll be fine, thanks Luna. Send me back now, please."

"Very well, but we must do this again soon, don't you agree?" Luna gave me a small smile.

"Actually yes, I do. this was pretty nice. Calm, relaxing. I didn't feel like I had a million things to do for once. However, I need to get back now or my friends might start losing their minds."

"Fair enough. Goodbye, Sharky. Get well soon!"

I vanished in a flash of black light.

I reappeared in the first floor of the library, right before dawn judging by the light outside. I hadn't been able to tell what time it was when I had been on the moon, but apparently I had woken up really early. Twilight wasn't anywhere to be seen, nor were Spike or Unity for that matter. I went upstairs to check on them. Sure enough, they were still asleep in their beds. Except for Twilight, who was asleep in my bed. Instead of waking them all up, I just crawled into bed next to Twilight. I gently hugged her smaller body to mine and closed my eyes.

"Sharky?" Twilight muttered sleepily.

"Oops..." I guessed I wasn't gentle enough.

"Where were you? You never got into bed last night..." she mumbled, sounding more awake by the second.

"I was busy. No need to worry, I'm here now."

"Ok... I'm still sleepy... would you mind staying here until I fall back asleep?"

"Of course not." I replied happily. Twilight wiggled herself further into my arms and settled against my stomach comfortably. Then she wiggled back out and turned to look at me.

"Why is your stomach wet?" she asked simply.

"Twilight, be calm, it's not--"

"Oh my Celestia..." her eyes widened as she looked at my blood-soaked bandage. "W-what happened?"

"You know, you think you'd be used to me coming home with random injuries..."

"What happened?" Twilight's tone was demanding.

"Nothing, it was just a little hunt. I'll be fine. Honest."

"You need to go get a healing potion from Shadow."

"I would, but I don't like the idea of only visiting him for a potion... Makes me feel like I'm using him."

Twilight sighed heavily. She looked nearly fully awake now. "Look, I'm ok with you hanging out with Shadow for a bit. Just make sure you get that potion. That way you can hang out with him as friends, and not bleed out to avoid feeling like you're just using him."

"Really? Even though I'm supposed to spend this week with you?"

"Of course! I know you want to be able to spend more time with your friends, and I'd much prefer you did that than bleed all over me while trying to spend time with me."

I laughed as quietly as I could. Unity and Spike were still asleep, after all.

"Alright, thanks Twi. I'm glad you didn't panic or yell at me this time."

"Don't worry, I'm doing that on the inside. I just didn't want to wake up the little ones. Now, off you go. We don't need you staining the bed now, do we?"

"Oops... I hadn't even thought of that..." I slipped out of bed with an embarrassed blush and stood awkwardly.

"Also... and I mean this in the best way... It wouldn't hurt for you to take a shower and brush your teeth... I know you're really busy, but you're starting to smell."

My small embarrassed blush was now a deep red blush that felt like it covered my neck.

"O-ok." I muttered nearly inaudibly. Twilight gave me a soft smile.

"Thanks. Love you." Twilight murmured as she rolled over and resumed trying to sleep. I left the room quickly and closed the door behind me. When I got back downstairs, I noticed Fang asleep in the old corner I used to sleep in. My Robin was perched peacefully on his back, sleeping soundly right along with Fang. I sighed a little bit and sat down next to them. Fang lifted his head to look at me the moment I did.

"Awwww, did I wake you up too?" I asked nervously. Fang shook his head and gave me his old wolfish grin. He motioned his head back to Robin a few times. "Staying still so he can sleep then? How nice of you. Anyway, I'm going to visit Shadow later today. You wanna come with me and visit Winona?" Fang nodded slowly, likely trying to not move to much and disturb Robin. "Cool, let's just wait for now then."

We sat and I just scratched Fang for a while as we waited for the sun to rise. I would have showered, but I didn't want to take off my bandage until I was sure I wouldn't bleed too much. As soon as I determined it was bright enough outside, I decided it was time to get going. I leaned over Fang and got my face right next to Robin. Time for a little revenge.

"CHEEP!" I shouted into his ear. Robin leapt about four feet off of Fang and let out a series of panicked chirps. Eventually, he settled down and settled back down on Fang. Fang had stood up when Robin moved. "Alright, that felt great. Payback rocks. Hey! That's my thing! Anyway, let's get out of here and hope we didn't just wake anypony up."

I left the house quickly with Fang, and a reluctant Robin, in tow. We walked rather quickly, despite my injuries, and made it to Sweet Apple Acres in only a few minutes. The first pony I saw was Applejack, but something was wrong with her. She wasn't striding through the orchards confidently as I would have imagined, rather she appeared to be trying to sneak from tree to tree.

"Huh... what could she be hiding?" I wondered to myself. Applejack certainly didn't strike me as the kind to keep secrets or sneak around to do anything. Something was up. She hadn't noticed me yet, but I knew there was no way in hell I could follow her and not be seen. Instead, I got to the nearest cover I could find, which happened to be her barn. "Fang!" I hissed lowly. Fang bumped against my leg to confirm his presence. He seemed to gather that I didn't want to be detected. "Follow Applejack. I can't do it myself, and I get this odd feeling that something's wrong. See what's up and try to bring me something that would tell me what's going on, ok?"

Fang nodded obediently and vanished from my side like a shadow.

"Hmmm, the Element of Honesty is hiding something, eh? This should be good..."

Catching Up

I leaned against the barn and waited for Applejack to trot out of eyesight. Once she was gone, I left the cover of the barn and walked up to the Apple house. Applejack's mysterious behavior aside, I still needed that health potion and to hang out with Shadow. Fang would find me when he was done, so there was no real need for me to hide behind the barn for Celestia knows how long. I stepped on the porch and was about to knock on the door when it opened suddenly. Shadow darted out of the door and right into my legs.

"Ow! What the..." Shadow rubbed his snout irritatedly and looked up to figure out what he had just hit. His face expanded into a broad smile when he saw it was me. "Hi Sharky! How've you been? Geez, it feels like it has been forever since..."

Shadow looked down and noticed my bloody bandage. He covered his mouth with his hooves.

"Hey dude. 'Sup bitch. I've... I've been better, to be honest."

"Oh man Sharky... What happened? Come in, come in. Let me get a potion for that..." Shadow turned and trotted into the house. I followed him and wound up in his room, which was even more full of random test tubes and fluids than last time I had seen it.

"I got into a fight with a giant star scorpion. I'm glad this is all I got, to be honest."

"You have got to be more careful dude! May I remind you that my potions can't cure death?"

"Well what was I supposed to do? 'No Luna, I won't fight the scorpion about to eat Los Pegasus because it might hurt me.' Whaddya take us for? A wuss like you? I had to go Shadow, you know that."

"I didn't say you shouldn't hunt, I said to be careful." Shadow clearified. "I know you feel like you have to protect, and I won't ask you to stop what you feel like you need to do. Just... be more careful while doing it." he selected a vial from among the mess of glass and liquids and hoofed it over to me. "Here, drink this."

"Alright." I pressed the vial to my lips and tossed it back. The liquid burned as it travelled down my throat, but it left behind a pleasant tingle. I could feel my stomach and back healing almost immediately.

"How do you feel? I've been working on a new version of the potion that won't make you sleepy, hyper, or knock you out for two days!"

I waited for a few moments before responding to gather my feelings about the potion. I didn't feel tired, I wasn't out cold, and I wasn't bouncing around the room.

"I think you did it. I don't feel anything other than healing! Still tastes like shit though. You think with all the experimenting you did, it would at least taste like cherries instead of shit."

"Hmm... I didn't even think about taste... Thanks Steven, I'll get on that."

"Wait, I helped? Awww, dammit! You know, it's bad to talk to him directly."

"Right, sorry. Well, you're healed. See you later then." Shadow turned away from me and began to fiddle with some vials.

"Actually I wanted to know if you'd like to hang out today."

Shadow dropped the vials and turned back around quickly.

"What? Really?! You aren't too busy?"

"Nope. I'm technically on vacation from monster hunting and Twilight said I could hang out with you today."

Shadow gave me a confused look. "You need permission from Twilight?"

"Well yeah. She's my marefriend for this week. She wants us to spend as much time as possible together, but she let me come hang out with you for now."

"Why did you say 'for this wee-- You know what? It doesn't matter. Let's just enjoy some quality time, right bro?"

"You bet dude. So, what do you want to do then?"

"How about something nice and calm? Let's go to a cafe or something and just catch up, you know?"

"Yeah, sure! That sounds nice. Hey, when I got here, you ran into me. Where were you going?" I questioned suddenly as I remembered the rush Shadow had been in earlier.

"Oh, I was just about to begin giving all the trees some special growth hormones that would make them grow bigger apples. It can wait though. AJ wanted me to take a break anyhow."

"Alright then. You ready to go?"

"Yeah, sure." Shadow grabbed a few vials off of his alchemy table and started to trot out of the room.

"Alright then, where's a good cafe to go to?"

"In town." Shadow offered with a sarcastic tone.

"Oh ha ha, very funny. I meant to say: do you actually know any good cafes in town?" I clearified as I rolled my eyes and followed him out of the house.

"No, not really. You've been here longer than I have; don't you know any?"

"Actually no. I never really get to walk around town and see what's actually here. We're busy, bitch. You think we just wander and check out the town all the time?" I explained nervously. It was a bit odd that I had no idea what the town I lived in was even like. Something bumped into my leg before we had even left the farm. I looked down and saw Fang.

"Oh, that's where Fang went! I was wondering why he wasn't with Winona." Shadow exclaimed as if it had been some big mystery.

"Yeah, I took him back to hang out with him for a bit."

Fang nudged me again and lifted his head to show me what he had gotten. He had a single, thin, tall, white candle in his mouth. I took it and gave him a pat on the head.

"A candle? Why did Fang have a candle?" Shadow asked interestedly. I tucked it into the coin pouch on my hip.

"I don't know." I answered honestly. "Why don't you mind your own damn buisiness?"

"Alright, alright."

"Now... what would AJ be doing with candles?" I mumbled to myself. "Fang, you should go see Winona while Shadow and I go out." I waved Fang away from my side distractedly and my Robin left my shoulder to go with Fang.

Let's see... What would AJ be doing with a candle? In the orchards no less. She could start a fire! Nah, she'd be more careful than that. Hmmm... Maybe she found a cave or something and needed light to explore it... No, if there was a cave, it likely would've been discovered and explored long ago. Wait, candles...

I suddenly recalled the day I had gotten RD a position on the Wonderbolts. That night, her house had been filled with candles and we ate a nice meal that she had prepared herself together. Looking back, I realized that she was trying to make it a romantic moment, which I had totally failed to notice. Which meant...

AJ is totally planning a secret dinner date! I bet I know who it's for too! I looked down at Shadow and grinned knowingly. He wasn't looking at me though, so the grin was lost on him.

"-- anything yet Sharky?" Shadow finished. I flinched when I realized he had been talking to me while I thought.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"I said: Do you see anything yet Shaky? I said we should both be looking for cafes just a minute ago!"

"Oh... uhhh, no. I haven't seen any. We didn't care enough to look."

"Alright, let's just keep looking then."

"You got it." I began to survey our surroundings, searching for a nice place to get some coffee and talk. I was a bit startled when I realized that we were already in town and I hadn't noticed, but I got over it quickly. I also noticed that we hadn't been swarmed by reporters yet. In fact, the only other ponies that were out and about looked tired and seemed to be in a hurry.

"Oh, look! There's a place!" Shadow declared abrubtly, tearing my away from my analyzation of the town. He was pointing excitedly to a place named 'Java Joint'. It looked like a relatively simple place, but I wasn't about to complain.

"Oh, sweet! Let's go in, Shadow."

"Right behind you."

We headed into the little restaurant eagerly. The inside of the building was just as plain as the outside. There was a little counter with a bored-looking mare behind it, a wide open area to the left of the counter with about ten or so tables, and an outdoor area to the right with only three tables lined up in a neat row along the wooden platform they sat on. The door didn't set off a bell when we entered, but the mare heard our steps and looked up up to see us.

"Oh! It's you!" she declared excitedly. I was about to sigh and tell her not to freak out when her happy expression turned to horror. "Dear Celestia! What happened to you?!" she nearly screeched as she pointed a shaking hoof at my midsection. I looked down to see that I still hadn't removed my bloodied bandages.

"Oh geez! Forgot that was there! These are the rags I use to soak up the blood of mares that scream too damn loud..." I ripped the bandages off of my stomach to reveal the thin pale scar that was left from the gash the Scorpio had given me. I looked back to the mare, expecting her to be relieved. Instead, she only looked more terrified. "You ok? Look! I'm not hurt!"

"P-please d-don't kill me and soak up my blood..." the mare whimpered in reply. I gave her a confused look.

"Why the heck would I do that?"

"Ummm... Sharky?" Shadow tapped my leg hesitantly. I turned my attention to him.

"Yeah?"

Shadow mouthed the word 'Steven' to me. I facepalmed and groaned.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to hurt you, no matter what you just heard. I promise." with a few more steps, I was in front of the counter. "I'm a good guy, right? Trust me, I won't hurt you."

"T-then why did you--"

"That wasn't me that said that. Look... uhh... I have two voices. One is the real me, the one talking now. The other is violent, crude, sarcastic, and mean. That one is Steven, the one that threatened you. Got it?"

"... That made... no sense..."

I sighed again and nearly slammed my head into the counter. Instead, I turned away from the mare and threw my hands over my head. Which caused me to hit the ceiling. Luckily I didn't cause any damage to it.

"Fine. Shadow, please order for me. I'll be sitting at a table outside." I didn't pause to wait for a response before I stormed off to the outdoor area of the building. I picked the furthest table and tried to sit down. The seats were too small for me though, so I ended up having to sit on the ground next to the table. The brief time I had spent in this shop was doing a fine job of reminding me that I didn't belong here. Shadow appeared at the table eventually, which helped drive away my growing sadness about not belonging.

"Here you go Sharky. I wasn't sure what you wanted, so I just got you a plain coffee." Shadow set two tall paper cups down on the table and slid one over to me.

I put on a little smile. "Thanks bro. Now, how've things been at the farm?"

Shadow took a few seconds to form his answer. He started with a heavy sigh.

"It's actually not as fun as it used to be. I keep getting this strange feeling that Big Mac and Granny Smith don't like me too much..." he admitted.

"Really? Why would you say that?"

"I dunno Sharky... I just see Mac looking at me disappointedly, or Granny Smith frowning at me when they think I'm not looking."

"Well that seems strange... Applejack isn't doing anything like that, is she?"

Shadow seemed to brighten up instantly. "No, AJ and I get along great! She's really nice, and she's always looking out for me."

"That's good to hear then. How's it going between you two, by the way?"

"Oh, good." Shadow mumbled very quietly. He was blushing a little.

"Good? That's all you got to say?"

"Yeah..."

"So, what was your first date then?" I asked interestedly. "Wait, I got this. You're too much of a coward to ask her out, aren't you?"

"D-date?!" Shadow squeaked. "Y-you're right... I-I could n-never ask AJ out..."

I raised an eyebrow quizzically. "Oh? Why not?"

"W-what if she said no? I could ruin our friendship! I c-can't risk it... Plus, AJ is so bold and sweet and strong and confident and--"

*snap snap snap* I snapped my fingers in front of Shadow's face before he got lost in some sort of Applejack-based dreamland.

"Dude, she wouldn't say no. I may not be the brightest when it comes to females and non-platonic affection, but I'd say she likes you too."

"I-I t-thought she might too..." Shadow admitted.

"Look, you gotta ask her next time you get the chance."

"B-but--"

"Nuh uh, no buts. You gotta be a stallion and ask her out."

"Alright, alright! I-I'll try... Wait, you're one to talk about asking mares out! AJ was telling me how desperately those four mares were trying to get your attention!"

"Hey, that got resolved! Look, like I said, I'm not the quickest when it comes to mares hitting on me. I quite literally had no idea they liked me until they flat out told me. He's not kidding. I half thought we would get raped in our sleep before he got it." I countered defensively. Shadow wasn't letting up though.

"Well, you liked them long before they told you, didn't you?"

"Yes, but--"

"Then according to your own argument, you should have been a stallion and asked them out!"

"Hey, the difference is I'm not a pony like you! I thought it was impossible for them to like me because of what I am."

"Well, think about it. If you can like them, did you ever stop and think that it worked both ways?" Shadow leaned forward intently and gave me a hard stare. I struggled to think of some sort of excuse, but I didn't have one.

"No, no I did not. Bah, this is a dumb topic anyway. Tell me, have you developed any cool new potions?"

Shadow snorted and sat back down normally. He took a big drink of his coffee before speaking.

"I've been big into hormones and pheremones lately. I can use them to affect the growth of the trees and attract insects to pollinate them. Other than that, I haven't done much else other than improve my healing potions. Specifically for you, in case you decided to light yourself on fire and slice yourself all over your body again."

I let out a big laugh at his comment. "I never decide to hurt myself, it just ends up that way! I actually got those injuries while pulling off a really important job for Celestia."

"Really? I thought you worked for Luna..."

"Yeah, I do. Celestia asked me to do something specific and difficult for her that a normal knight couldn't do. Well, I guess another knight could do it, I was just the first one to care about the issue."

"What issue was this?" Shadow asked interestedly before taking another sip of coffee. I picked up my cup and took my first drink before continuing. The coffee was bitter and unsweet, but I didn't mind it too much.

"Well, dragons." I leaned in and lowered my voice just in case somepony was close enough to hear me. "I had to steal the dragon eggs from her."

Shadow's eyes widened and he looked at me like I was insane. "You're the thief that took all the eggs?!" he hissed. "Dude, why would Celestia want you to do that?!"

"She doesn't like taking them. She has to in order to look like a strong leader though. So, I took them for her that way they didn't become magic experiments." I leaned back away from Shadow with a confident grin. He shook his head at me with a small smile.

"You're crazy bro. A good guy, but crazy."

"So I've heard, on both accounts."

"Hey, you said you resolved that issue with the girls, right?" Shadow asked randomly. "How did that go? Which girls did you form a herd with? All of them?"

I frowned a little. "No, there's no herd. In my world, it's considered pretty wrong for a male to take multiple wives. At least, it is in my culture in particular. I'm dating each of the girls for one week to see who makes the best marefriend."

"Really? That seems so... unhappy. I mean, why would you make some of them unhappy purely based on your old culture?"

"It's... it's just the right thing to do, ok? I feel it's the right thing to do. Anyway, how has that Ursa pet of yours?"

"He's doing great, actually! He's like a big cat, so he sleeps a lot and stuff. He's really easy to care for."

"That's good, I'm glad you two get along so well."

"Me too... So, Sharky..." Shadow began hesitantly.

"Hmm?"

"How are you so strong?" he leaned forward intently again, clearly very interested in my response.

"Uhh... well, I've got some magic in my body that let me--"

"No no, not here." he poked my arm. "Here." he poked my chest near my heart. "How do you face down monsters and not falter? How do you look at death and not cower? I've seen you near death, I've heard your reluctance to approach those you love and ask for their love in return. What I've never seen from you is fear. Even when you were near dead on our porch, I didn't see any worry on your face. You weren't afraid of dying. How can I be like you? How can I be strong like that?" he asked desperately.

"Shadow, why do you want to be--"

"I'm a coward Sharky..." he sighed. "I'm scared almost all the time. If I saw half the things you've fought, I would never be able to stand up near them, let alone fight them." his stare increased in intensity and he was almost in my face. "I want to be strong enough to protect. Like you do for Equestria. Like Blade did for me..." Shadow slumped back into his chair suddenly.

"... Shadow... It's not about not being afraid. If I wasn't afraid, I'd never be able to fight a monster."

Shadow's ears twitched and he gave me a confused look.

"The trick is, I'm not afraid of what happens to me. I'm afraid of failing. All I can think about while I'm hunting is the concequences of failing. I'm terrified of not being able to protect the innocent. That fear gives me power. When I remember what's at stake, I can fight a little harder. I get a little braver. I can take a little more."

"I-I'm only afraid for myself though..."

"Shadow, if AJ was near death on the other side of the continent, what would you do?"

He didn't hesitate in his answer. "I'd get there and help of course!"

"Why?"

"Because I care about her!"

"You're afraid of losing her."

Shadow stopped moving suddenly as it dawned on him.

"If AJ's life were at stake, you'd cross a continent. Now, would you do the same if you weren't afraid for her? No. Fear isn't something I'm immune to Shadow, it's my greatest strength. I wasn't always like that though. My biggest fear for myself is being alone in the dark. Then I discovered the fear of losing somepony you care about."

"That... You're right... It's... it's ok to be afraid..."

"Right. As long as you have fear for others, you're never really working for yourself, so you're never really alone. I guess you could connect it to love, in a way. When you love, you fear for those you love. The more you love, the more you have to protect. The more you have to protect, the stronger you can make yourself be."

"Sharky..." Shadow jumped out of his seat suddenly. "Sharky, teach me to fight! I want to protect those I love, like you do!"

"Uhhh... Shadow, I don't know if that's a good idea..."

"Please! I want to feel strong, I want to turn my fear into power!"

"Shadow... Uhh... Ok. I'll teach you to fight. For now though, just stick to what you know. I'm a warrior because I love all of Equestria and want to protect it. If you just want to be strong, I don't think it would be a good idea to teach you just yet."

Shadow hung his head in disappointment and sat back down.

"Anyway, I think you said something about feeding the trees in the orchard some hormones." I reminded him. "You may want to get to that. Oh..." I pulled the candle out of my pouch and handed it to him. "You should return this to AJ as well. She's likely wondering where it is."

Shadow gave me a questioning look, but didn't openly ask me anything as he took the candle.

"We should do this again soon. With less philosophical speeches from me next time though. Hell, I'm not even sure if that made sense to me. Anyway, bye Shadow." I waved goodbye and left before he could return my gesture.

On my way to the library, I thought over my own words. Where had they come from? I had never even really considered it myself, so how had I been able to answer Shadow so well?

... I also found myself wondering why the hell everypony assumed I was making a herd. It just seemed wrong.

Wasn't it?

Author's Note

Well, I ALMOST posted 2 chapters 2 days in a row... Instead, have this roughly double-sized chapter. Hope it's an ok tradeoff.

Outside

I very quickly determined that it wasn't ok. I had next to no right to posess the affection of one mare, let alone more than that. Of course it was a ridiculous idea, looking back I wondered why I had even given it any thought. Once I reached the library, I opened the door and walked in instead of knocking. There was nopony to be seen in the living area, but Spike's head popped into view from the kitchen doorway.

"Hi Spike." I greeted distantly, still lost in my thoughts a little.

"Hey Sharky!" he returned my greeting with a broad grin. "Where were you dude? Twilight made some great waffles for us!"

"Oh, I was out with a friend. I'll join you in a bit; I gotta take a shower first."

Spike nodded understandingly and I walked upstairs to the bedroom. I slipped in and closed the bathroom door behind me as I entered. About ten minutes later, I had finished bathing, used the bathroom, and slipped on my last new pair of pants/armor and boxers. I left and went back downstairs for waffles, but Twilight, Unity, and Spike had all moved into the main area already. Twilight was laying down in a corner and reading with her legs curled up under her body. Unity was lying on her back contentedly, batting at something in front of his face that only he could see. Spike was on the other side of the room on the top of a ladder, re-arranging the books on the shelves.

"Hey guys." I called out, alerting everyone to my presence. They all turned to look at me at once. Spike nearly fell off the ladder, Unity smiled and reached out towards me, and Twilight smiled before turning back to her book. I ran downstairs and caught Spike before he actually got to have a meeting with gravity and the floor.

"T-thanks." he sputtered nervously. I grinned at him.

"No problem. You need some help?"

"No thanks. I got it." he assured me before turning back to his work.

"So, I'm wondering... why are you always moving books around?"

"Because they never seem to be in the right places. When we first moved here, we just put the books on the shelves because we didn't want to bother with sorting them and unpacking everything else. Since then, ponies have been borrowing and incorrectly shelving the books almost every day. So, no matter what, the books always seem to be out of order."

"Huh... I haven't seen anypony borrow books though."

"Yeah, since you started living here, a lot of ponies have stopped showing up all the time. At first, it was because they were all scared of you. Now it's because Twilight doesn't let most ponies in, 'cause she's worried they'll be nosy reporters just pretending to want books."

"So you should be close to catching up on sorting, right?"

"Actually, I am! It'll be nice to have totally organized books."

"If you say so." I muttered indifferently, bored with the conversation. I left Spike to his work and walked over to Twilight and Unity. I sat down next to Twilight and scooped Unity off of her back.

"You smell much better." Twilight noted with a pleased tone.

"Good, good. Glad I finally got to take a shower." I looked down to Twilight as I spoke and saw a bright green patch of her coat right in the middle of her back. Where Unity had been laying. I covered my mouth with the hand not holding Unity and tried not to burst into laughter. Twilight seemed to hear my stifled snickering though, and she turned away from her book to look at me.

"What's so funny?"

"Oh, n-nothing!" I managed to squeak out between chuckles. Twilight shrugged and turned back to her book. "So, w-what are we gonna do today?" I asked as soon as I had my laughter under control. I might have freaked out about her green-stained coat, but I figured it was temporary like most of Unity's tricks. Twilight lowered her book and rasied a forehoof to her lips in thought.

"Hmmm... How about we stay here where it's nice and quiet and just read? I don't feel like dealing with going out into crowds of reporters today."

"Alright, sounds fine to me. Oh, maybe I can finish that third Daring Do book." I stood up to go get the book and Unity gave me a big pout. "What?"

"Outside!" he demanded.

"What? No, mommy and I want to stay inside."

Twilight's ears twitched at the word 'mommy'.

"I want outside!" Unity shouted back.

"Look, you can't have what you want all the time. No outside." I stated firmly. Unity looked angry.

"Yes outside!" he declared with a fitful flail. Without warning, we were both suddenly in the air over Carousel Boutique. Upside down.

"Waaa!" I shouted as we fell towards the roof of Rarity's home. I clutched Unity tightly and tried to position myself to slide down the curve of the roof. I'm fairly sure it would have worked. Had I not crashed through the roof instead of sliding down it.

*CRACK* *BOOM*

I arrived on the top floor of the boutique in a pile of rubble and a cloud of dust. Luckily, the floor below me didn't give out as well. I coughed a few times and waved my free hand in front of my face to clear some of the dust.

"What in the name of Celestia was that?!" Rarity screeched from somewhere in the store. I heard her hoofsteps approaching.

"Uhhh... hi Rarity!" I called out. The dust was still pretty thick, so I couldn't see her even though I heard her steps stop somewhere nearby.

"Sharky? Is that you dear?" Rarity yelled as if the dust was going to keep me from hearing her.

"Yeah! It's me..."

"This still no outside!" Unity whined.

"I'm sorry about your roof! Unity is being... difficult."

"Oh dear... oh dear..." Rarity muttered. She sounded very unsure of what to do.

"D-don't worry, I'll pay for it." I promised weakly as Unity began to thrash in my arms again. "Uhhh... I think I've got to go." before I had even finished the word 'go', I was in a new place. I ended up saying the word 'go' to a dirt wall. I turned to see my new surroundings and discovered that I was in a cavern. The Diamond Dogs' gem cavern to be exact. I remembered it from the time I had been here to get gems for Esmerelda. However, I noticed something a bit odd about the cavern full of gems.

There was a huge statue right in the middle of the pile of gems. It was bipedal and humanoid, but it didn't look exactly like a Diamond Dog. Its legs didn't bend like theirs, its head wasn't large and didn't stick out like a snout, and it didn't have huge ears.

"Not outside!" Unity shrieked before I could comment on the statue or see if we were alone in the chamber.

"Did you hear a child-so--" A voice, which I assumed belonged to a Diamond Dog, started to say. Unity and I were gone again before it could finish speaking. The newest place we popped into was somewhere in a large grouping of trees. I realized almost instantly that they were apple trees, and we were in the orchard.

"Yay! Finawy outside!" Unity cheered. I breathed a heavy sigh of relief and thanked Celestia that Unity had finally gotten it right.

"That was very naughty Unity!" I scolded him now that I had time to actually talk. He ignored me and seemed to be totally absorbed in the happiness of getting what he wanted. I sighed and began to walk back to the library.

At least, I tried to.

I took a step forward and hearly fell over because my left leg hadn't followed me. I regained my balance and looked back at my leg to see what the problem was. My entire left leg up to my thigh was stuck inside a tree Unity had teleported us next to.

"Oh crap!" I cried in fear. For all I knew, my leg was now part of the tree! After trying to move it around for a little bit, I began to think that my leg wasn't part of the tree, just inside it. "Great... just great. Unity, stay close. Daddy has to fix his leg because you were being naughty." I ordered sternly as I placed Unity on the ground.

"Ok da-da." he giggled as he began to roam around the trees nearby. I sighed and reminded myself that he was still too young to understand completely. I turned my attention back to the tree and decided to take the easiest path to getting my foot out of the tree.

Cut it out. Sure, it wasn't the most brilliant plan ever concieved, but I wasn't seeing a whole lot of options. Besides, my armor would likely protect me for the most part should I swing too hard. I reached back for my sword... only to find that it wasn't there. I had left it at the library after I showered.

"You left without your weapon you moron! Awww crud! I can't believe it!" I shouted at my tree trap. I sighed and changed my plan to trying to break the tree with my bare hands. Were I still a normal human, I would have simply started screaming for help. I was pretty sure I could at least break a tree now.

I placed both of my hands on the sides of the tree and braced myself. With a grunt, I put all of my strength into trying to break the tree off sideways like a twig. For a long time, nothing happened. I couldn't put much force into it because I only had one foot to brace myself with. I could feel my face turn red as the exertion brought blood to my cheeks. Finally, a crack rang through the orchard. Then another, which was quickly followed by more. With a cascade of cacophonous crackles, the tree broke off right where my leg had been sealed into it.

"What the buck was that?!" Applejack's voice rang out from somewhere in the orchard. She didn't sound very close, but that would likely change soon. I quickly pulled my leg out of the tree and stood up normally. I put the tree down as much as I could, which wasn't much since it leaned on other trees no matter where I placed it, and started looking around for AJ. I did have to take responsibility for breaking the tree, after all.

"It was me, AJ! I'm over here!" as soon as I shouted, I could hear hoofbeats rapidly approaching. AJ found me in only seconds, and gazed in wide-eyed horror at the jagged stump left by my destruction of the tree.

"What did you do?!" she nearly screamed. I flinched and twiddled my thumbs like a shameful child that had just gotten caught drawing on a freshly painted wall.

"I broke the tree... I'm sorry! Unity had trapped my leg in it on accident!"

AJ slowly stopped looking so horrified, but she began to look incredibly sad.

"Ya killed Woodsworth.... he was mah second favorite tree..." AJ trotted over to the actual tree that I had leaned on the other trees and began softly stroking it. "Awww.... A-Ah can't believe it..."

"Oh geez... I'm sorry AJ, I didn't know it--"

"He." AJ corrected.

"--he was so special. I was stuck... I didn't want to break it, honest!"

AJ nodded solemly. "Ah understand...." she sniffled softly. "Ah won't say Ah ain't mad, but Ah won't yell at'cha."

"I'll uh... I'll pay for it, ok?" I offered. When she heard my offer, AJ's expression became a little angry.

"Ya can't just pay for it! He was like mah kin! All the trees are..."

"So... you don't want me to pay for it?"

"What Ah'd like is fer you to show Woodsworth a little respect instead of just passin' him off as somethin' to pay for." she snapped firmly. I scratched my head and looked at the strange scene with a bit of confusion. It was odd to see such attachment to a plant, of all things. I sighed and figured it was best to just do as she said. I knelt down next to the tre and placed a hand on it.

"I'm sorry Mr. Woodsworth. I really didn't want to hurt you, honest! I was just stuck. You know, in you."

AJ nodded appreciatively. "Thanks fer apologizin'. Do y'think you could get Unity to apologize too? Can he talk yet?"

"I can try I suppose." I turned to look at the spot I had left Unity in. "Unity, you need to say sorry to..." Unity wasn't there. I walked around and looked around a few trees. My pace increased drastically as my panic grew. He wasn't there. Nowhere. I couldn't find him. "AJ! Unity is missing! Help me!" I shouted desperately as I began running around the trees in search of my son. I could only imagine what kind of havoc he could wreak on his own in the orchard. Even worse, what would happen if somepony found him before I did and blabbed about it.

Most of all, I was worried I might never see him again. With his magic, It wasn't impossible for him to be halfway across the world already. I didn't want to lose my son.

It scared me even more that I may not have a choice in the matter.

You Can Run

AJ had shouted back at me, but I was either too far or too distressed to hear or understand her. I couldn't find Unity anywhere. I had run around every tree in the immediate area and spread my search out to a very large section of the orchard. My hope to find him slowly dwindled as the thought of him teleporting away to Celestia-knows-where grew. Through my muddled thoughts, I did manage to salvage one rational idea.

Fang. He could pick up Unity's scent and tell me if he was still somewhere in the orchard at the very least. As soon as the thought hit me, I ran in the direction that I thought the barn was in. I remembered telling Fang he could stay with Winnona before, so he should have still been there. The trees passed me in a blur that hardly registered in my mind. Before I knew it, I was at the barn doors. I threw them open roughly and scanned the barn for my pet. I saw him almost right away, cuddled around Winnona.

"Fang! I need your help! Now!" I shouted at him. He leapt to his paws and I ran back to the orchard without seeing if he had even started following me. I easily found the spot I had killed Woodsworth in and pointed at the spot I had placed Unity in. Sure enough, Fang showed up beside me a sniffed the spot. He already knew what to do as if he could read my mind. With the scent in his mind, Fang walked around a few trees for a bit. I followed him closely, desperately hoping he would lead me right to Unity. Instead, he stopped after only a short walk. He turned his head up and sniffed roughly a few times.

"What? What's going on buddy?" I nearly hissed. Fang took a few steps away from the spot he had stopped and began sniffing the ground again. "What's wrong? Did you find something?"

Fang slowly raised his head towards the sky and bared his teeth. "Grrrrrrrrrrrrr...."

"Fang?"

"Ruff! Arf! Bark!" Fang took off with a loud series of barks. As soon as I finished being surprised, I took off after him. He led me out into a clearing where the sun shone down on us harshly without the cover of the trees. All I could see was a black dot far off in the sky. Fang stared at it with what I could only see as pure rage. I walked into the middle of the clearing to see something else that had drawn my attention. I crouched low to the ground and picked up the only item in the whole clearing.

A single brown feather.

I frowned at it. It didn't make any sense for Fang to be barking at brown feathers and dots in the sky. He was looking for Unity, who I was now sure had teleported away somewhere. Slowly though, my thoughts began to connect. Fang wasn't stupid, in fact he was very good at this sort of thing. If he was following another scent and barking angrily, then Unity couldn't have simply run away. Whoever this brown feather belonged to...

Had foalnapped my son.

Gilda was napping peacefully in her could house when I finally found it. She would have been surprised to see me, I imagine. She was more surprised when I jumped through the bottom of her house and grabbed her though.

"Waaaaaaaaagh!" Gilda screamed as we fell to the ground. Luckily her house was floating rather low today. I roughly put her on the ground and held the feather to her face.

"What is this?" I asked in a deadly quiet voice. Gilda quit screaming and put on an expression of extreme confusion.

"Sharky? What the heck are ya doing waking me up like that you dw--"

"What. Is. This?" I whispered again. "Tell me now."

Gilda suddenly seemed to realized just how serious I was. "It's a feather. Duh." she answered weakly.

"What kind?"

"Gryffin I guess. It smells like one anyway." she answered quickly. I would have been more surprised she could smell it if I hadn't nearly shoved it in her beak. I had guessed it was gryffin, which was why I had gone to Gilda in the first place.

"This feather belongs to somepony that just foalnapped my son. You're the only gryffin I know." my voice grew more intense and deadly. Gilda's pupils shrank and she started to scramble away from me.

"N-now hold on! Do you really think I'm dumb enough to steal anything from you?! We're friends, remember?"

"I know that. As I was saying, you're the only gryffin I know. Do you know who would do this?"

"N-nopony comes to mind..."

I backed away from Gilda and paused to think through my cloud of rage. If it's a gryffin and Gilda doesn't know who it might be.... It must be a gryffin that would have something to gain by pissing me off. Hmmm... The one that tried to have Gilda killed! I looked back to Gilda with concern. Yes... he knows he can't beat me, so it would be easy for him to foalnap Unity and try to use him as leverage...

"Gilda, stay with me. I think I know who did this, and you are in danger if I'm right." I ordered with a no-bullshit tone. Gilda didn't even question me and just followed as I turned to leave. If I was right, and this enemy of mine had taken my son, nopony I loved was safe right now. I went to Rainbow's cloud house next and told her to come with me. She didn't argue in the slightest when she saw my grave expression. I went to the boutique after that and yanked Rarity away from some repair ponies she was speaking to. She struggled and questioned me, but I didn't pause to explain lest I lose somepony to this threat. Twilight didn't put up any sort of struggle when she saw all the other girls, she did decide to bring Spike with us though.

The last girl I picked up was Fluttershy, the furthest of them all. I nearly broke out into a full sprint and left the others because I was so worried about her. I remained with them through a herculean effort. When we finally reached her house. I fell to my knees in disbelief. The door was broken off one of its hinges and there was furniture scattered around in the yard.

"No..." I whispered as I nearly started crying. Then I realized something was still moving in Fluttershy's house. With a rage born of the loss of my son and one of my loves, I scattered the others with a wave of my arm and ran into the house with my fists raised angrily. Instead of meeting the blade of an assassin as I had expected, I came face-to-face with a bear.

"Grrraaaah!" It growled in my face.

"Oh no! Is there another one Mr. Cuddles?!" Fluttershy squeaked from somewhere in the house. My rage fizzled in and instant and I dropped my fists. The bear didn't drop any sort of violent intention though, he lunged at me and tried to bite my face off. I gave him a quick uppercut that snapped his mouth shut. I then brought my elbow down on his over-extended neck that made him fall to the ground.

"Fluttershy, it's me!" I shouted over the angry growling of Mr. Cuddles.

"Oh, Sharky! Thank goodness! I was so scared!"

"Would mind getting Mr. Cuddles to calm down? Then tell me what happened." Fluttershy trotted into view and hopped onto the bear's back. She whispered to him for a bit as I waved the girls, and Spike, over. The bear left us in a bit of a sour mood after only a few moments of Fluttershy speaking to him. We all settled into Fluttershy's extremely messy house. Furniture was broken and scattered, glass was on the floor, and there was a lot of blood. Luckily Fluttershy was unharmed, so I knew the blood wasn't hers.

"What... what's going on?" RD mumbled dully as she looked at the wreckage.

"I don't know." I answered honestly. "All I know is that you all are in danger. Whatever happened here proves that. Fluttershy, what happened?"

Fluttershy, shockingly, seemed oddly calm about the whole situation. Obviously she was shaken, but she didn't dissolve into a puddle of whimpers and sobs as I might have expected her to do back when we first met.

"A gryffin snuck into my house and tried to get me. Mr. Shiny, Glitter, and Rocky stopped him." two gem golems appeared from her doorway right as she finished speaking. They were covered in more red than any part of Fluttershy's home. "Mr. Cuddles came in when he heard the fighting to help. He ummm... I think he ate the gryffin..."

Gilda turned green and pressed a talon against her beak.

"Did he say anything? Anything at all?" I asked urgently as the two golems slowly approached.

"No... no he didn't." Fluttershy mumbled.

"W-why would somepony attack such a innocent and darling mare as Fluttershy?" Rarity squeaked out. "She's never done anything bad enough for behavior like this in her life!"

"They were not after the Mother of the Creator because of something she did." one of the golems stated in response. "They want her dead because of the Father of the Creator." the golem held out a dagger and a paper. "This was the weapon he tried to hurt the Mother of the Creator with. The paper was tied to the handle."

"Luckily our brother, Mr. Shiny, took the blow for the Mother of the Creator. It split his skull-rune and killed him. My brother and I were unable to repair and revive him." the second golem continued.

"H-he's gone?" Fluttershy whimpered. She began to sob a little bit as the realization fully took effect on her.

"S-somepony wants Fluttershy dead because of you?!" Twilight nearly screamed at me. "What the hay did you do to make that happen?"

I calmly walked over and took the paper from the hand of the first golem. It was a note that I was obviously intended to find on Fluttershy's dead body. I took a breath and read it aloud.

"This says: 'You're too late, hero. How does it feel to have failed to save not only one, but two of those you hold dear in your heart? Do not worry, your son still lives. He is safe with me. However, for every day you don't forsake your protection of Gilda, another one of your loved ones will die. All the mares you love, your friends, even those precious pets of yours. Then, when the rest are dead, I'll let you watch me kill your son if you still haven't done as I've commanded. You made a mistake when you tried to pick a fight with me, hero. I know all your secrets now, and I won't stop hurting you until you do as I wish. It's your choice though. Will you let more of your loved ones die to protect only one friend? I eagerly await your decision.' It's signed by a Byron. The guy that tried to have you killed, Gilda."

"So... this Byron... wants to kill us all to get to you?" Rarity asked fearfully. I nodded slowly.

"... Why did it mention your son?" Twilight asked nervously.

"Because... they foalnapped him. They want to use him and you guys to try and get me to hand Gilda to them. They want to use Gilda to get to the king. They want to use you to get to me to get to Gilda to get to the king, get it?"

Twilight nodded, but the others only seemed to half understand me. They all did obviously understand that Unity had been taken though.

"So they took Unity? What are we gonna do?!" RD asked aggressively as she slammed her hoof on the ground.

"There's no 'we', it's me. I'm gonna handle this."

"Oh? Tell me dear, what's your master plan to take care of this nasty buisiness?" Rarity questioned with a tint of sarcasm.

"... I'll go..." Gilda mumbled quietly before I could respond to Rarity. We all locked our gazes on her. I coughed to clear my throat.

"Excuse me?"

Gilda turned her head up from where she had been looking at the ground and met my eyes without fear.

"I'll go. It's my fault they're after you dorks now, and you shouldn't have to deal with it."

I sighed with irritation and pressed my pointer fingers against my temple.

"That's not going to happen Gilda. We're not just going to give him what he wants. Otherwise how would we stop him from doing the same thing again?" I paused and took my hands away from my face to look at the others. "Plus, he took Unity! You know, 'I made an army of vampires' Unity. If this guy has been watching me like I think, he should have thought better than to take the baby chaos god. That doesn't mean by any stretch of the imagination that I'm not worried or upset. No, it just means I'm not scared for Unity's sake. Now, I'm going to go find this Byron guy and beat him so hard his great grandfather's bones will shatter in his coffin."

"What do you propose we do while you go off to find this 'Byron'? What if more gryffins come after us?!" Rarity pointed out. I only had to think for a moment to some up with an answer.

"Why don't you guys go stay at Canterlot with Celestia, Luna, and the Royal Guard to protect you? I'm sure they wouldn't mind if you explained the situation." I pulled out my phone to call Luna. "In fact, let me ask really quick." I hit Luna's button and it began to ring. On only the first ring, she picked up.

"Sharky! What a pleasant surprise. I was actually just about to call." Luna started off. I cut her off as she took a breath.

"Luna, I don't have time for conversation. I have a big problem. All of my friends and even my son are in great danger right now. I need you to keep them safe at Canterlot while I handle the situation."

Luna got serious right away. "What's wrong? How may I help?"

"Luna, this is for me to handle. It deals with gryffins and the throne to the gryffin empire. I won't have you cause some sort of war over my problems. All I need you to do is protect them." I held out the phone to all the ponies in the building. "They should be the only ones under serious threat."

"Sharky..." Luna began. She simply sighed and rubbed one of her eyes irritatedly. "Very well. I will not press if you do not want my aid. Just... be careful.... I do not wish for you to be harmed or..." Luna choked on her words for a moment. "Just be careful. That's and order."

"Will do. Thank you for helping."

Only a few moments later, all my loved ones had been evacuated to Canterlot thanks to Luna. I was left only with only my self-imposed mission.

To kill the sonofabitch that took my son.

Author's Note

LET'S GO FOR THREE!

I'm No Ninja

Mere hours later, Esmerelda and I were approaching the flashing lights and huge buildings that made up Los Pegasus. For the first time ever, I was starting to absorb Esmerelda's magic. I had grown some scales and I felt like my eyes were shifting somehow. I would never have guessed on my own, but I supposed Esmerelda's magic was either very hard to copy, or just a very slow process. It might have been a trait shared by all adult dragons for all I knew. I didn't dwell on it though, and instead was just thankful that Esmerelda knew the land so well, even if she didn't recognize Los Pegasus since it had grown so much since she had last seen it.

"Really! It was just a little collection of stone shacks last time I was here!" she repeated for about the third time as she circled it.

"We fucking get it!"

She was still making really wide circles around the city, looking for a place to set down on the outskirts. She didn't want to approach this city either, which I didn't blame her for. Eventually, she settled for landing behind a massive dune to the east of the desert city. It was night now, which meant that I was going to have to walk in the dark to the city. Great. I left Esmerelda and started to walk the mile or so of distance left to Los Pegasus's outermost buildings. Before I actually reached the city, I had a thought.

There's no way I can just walk in to this place. I'm bound to get mobbed by fans and paprazzi. Then Byron would certainly catch wind of my actions and be gone before I could even make my way out of the first crowd. Even if they didn't swarm me, I don't want to see how they'd react while I look like some 25% dragon thing. No, I'm going to have to be stealthy about this.

I knew that was going to be hard for me to do with my considerably large body and loud armor. Not to mention the fact that I had no real stealth training, and the only experience I had with sneaking was the time I stole the dragon eggs from Celestia. Even then, she had arranged the event for me to be able to steal them. At the very least, I knew I needed all the advantages I could get here, so I walked back to Esmerelda.

"Back already? Where are we going now?" Esmerelda asked readily as soon as I got back to her. I didn't answer, and instead began taking my armored pants off. "Ummm... not that I don't like where this is going, but isn't this a bad time to--"

"Control yourself, ho. Don't worry, I'm just taking off my armor so I'll be quieter while I'm moving around. I need to be sneaky that way nopony sees me and gets the word out that I'm here. If that happened, Byron could run away if he heard about me. That's the last thing I need to happen. There's also the worse option where he offs the kid when he runs, but I think he's trying not to think of that right now."

Esmerelda's eyes widened and she didn't talk for a few seconds. "Well... that didn't go where I thought at all."

I tossed my armor and Buster Sword over to her and turned to leave. "Keep an eye on that for me. And quit staring at my ass."

"How did you know I was--"

I walked out of earshot before Esmerelda could finish saying whatever she had been saying. I might have gone back to ask her what she was saying, but I didn't want to be stuck wearing my boxers alone for any longer than I needed to. As it was, I still had no real idea where in hell the address I needed to get to was in that huge city.

"5208 Trottingway Path." I reminded myself as I got close to the first few buildings. I flattened my body against the first building as soon as I got near it, and snuck along the side towards a more clustered group of buildings. The building I was next to was stone and felt pretty old. There were cracks and such in the walls. It was the first building in a small cluster that looked like some sort of neighborhood. There weren't any fences to divide the buildings, but there was about 40 or so feet between each of the houses.

What struck me the most about the little houses was how empty and dark they looked. Sure, it was night, but I had expected at least some of the lights in the houses to be on still. I shrugged at the houses and darted to the next building to try and remain mostly in cover. It was easy to sneak from house to house, and soon enough I was on the last house in the neighborhood. It led right to a large road with a few small assorted shops on it. The road led out of Los Pegasus to the left, and went deeper in Los Pegasus on the right. The buildings grew in size gradually on the right as the road went into the city.

"I said where's my money?!"

A shout drew me out of my examination of the city. I looked around for a few seconds and found the source of the shout in an alley a few shops over to my right, slightly deeper into the city.

"I-I told you, I'm just a bit beh--" a smaller voice replied to the loud angry one.

"I'm tired of hearing that! You owe me, Roller, and I'm gonna get my payment tonight!" the aggressive voice shouted again. Both voices were clearly male, and clearly the small one was in trouble.

"I-I d-don't have any m--"

"Then I guess you'll just have to pay in blood! I warned you punk!"

My protective nature kicked in before I could help myself, and I started making my way to the alley the voices were coming from. Luckily I kept my head enough to not leave my cover.

*thwack*

"N-no! Stop! I just need a little more t--"

*crack*

Clearly the 'Roller' pony was being hit now, luckily the blows sounded like he was being hit with hooves, not weapons. I got to the alley to see a large black stallion towering over a light red stallion cowering against a wall. I crept up behind him and stood to my full height as he raised a hoof for another blow. I grabbed his raised foreleg before he could swing down.

"Well, normally I'd give you some sort of one-liner and ask some rhetorical questions, but I'm in a bit of a hurry." I hissed to the stallion before I brought my free hand down on his head in a pretty solid punch. The stallion went limp and I dropped him to the ground in front of Roller. Roller had been covering his face with his hooves, but he slowly moved them when the expected blow from the other stallion never came. By that time, I had ducked out of the alley and moved a few buildings deeper into the city.

"H-hello?"

I picked up my pace a bit and cursed my stupidity. I could've just blown my whole mission with that stunt. Not that it wasn't the right thing to do, I just had more important right things to do that could've been ruined by that. Even now, I had to be more and more careful as I progressed into the city. The streets and alleys were slowly getting more and more populated the farther I travelled into Los Pegasus. I kept an eye on street signs as I ducked from building to building. None so far was named 'Trottingway Path'. Though, in a city that size it could take hours to locate one little road.

"For you love, just a meager hundred bits..."

"Yo dude, there's this great new cas--"

"I swear, she needs to get her flank out here n--"

"--cker left me just standing there a--"

The growing chatter was becoming unbearable to the point where I was beggining to wonder if I could even hear my own thoughts. On the bright side, that meant I didn't have to try and move as silently and I could focus more on speed. I would have climbed to the rooves and leapt from building to building to travel even faster, but I didn't want to run into a wayward pegasus and get caught after I had gotten so far.

"-ingway Path."

I stopped suddenly and backtracked to the alley I had heard the last bit of speech from. I ducked behind a wayward trash can and listened for the voice that had just spoken.

"--abandoned factories down t--" I lost the voice in the chatter of the crowd, but picked it up again soon enough. "--bro. Some kick f--" the voice was drowned out again. I slid the can forward as quietly as possible to try and hear better. "--fitti down there. Wanna check it out?"

"Why not?" a second voice replied. Both voices were female as far as I could tell, and they seemed to be going to Trottingway Path. I couldn't be 100% positive, but it was my best bet. I risked a quick look over the can to see a lime green mare with a white mane standing next to a gray mare with a navy mane. They had to be the ones talking since they were the closest ponies. They stepped out into the crowd of ponies on the streets and nearly vanished.

I had to keep them in my sight to get to where I was going, so I turned to the building on my right to try and see a way to climb it. Luckily, this was a building with a fire escape on it. I leapt from behind the can and grabbed the third layer of the escape easily. I wasn't sure if I was strong enough to do what I did next, but I had to risk it to keep up with the mares. I pulled as fast as I could, and ended up throwing myself into the air. I was able to reach about two levels higher on the escape. Without wasting anymore time, I repeated the process and eventually managed to reach the roof. I scrambled to the edge of the roof that overlooked the street and searched for the manes of the mares I had seen.

I couldn't find them. Then, after almost a full minute of searching, I did manage to see them. They had barely moved away from the alley in fact. They appeared to be talking to some other mares that hadn't been with them in the alley. I waited a few moments for them to finish their discussion. What felt like a solid hour later, the two mares I was waiting to follow left the others. Unfortunately, they went across the street.

I had three choices:

Jump across the entire street to the buildings on the other side. Which I wasn't even sure was possible.

Try and sneak across the street unnoticed which was certainly impossible due to my size and the fact that I was the only one of my kind.

Give up. I was more likely to make it across the street unnoticed than to do that.

Against my better judgement, I decided to try to jump across the street to the buildings on the other side. It sounded even dumber when I thought about it a second time. I didn't have another choice though, the mares were almost to the other side of the street. If I didn't move quickly, I'd lose them for sure and be forced to spend hours wandering the city. Before I could think a third time and realize how bad of an idea it was, I moved to the opposite end of the roof. I crouched down and assumed a runner's crouch. Without another second's hesitation, I took off towards the street.

I leapt clear off the roof and into the air over the road that held a large amount of ponies. For a moment, I knew I was going to make it. The roof of the building on the other end of the road seemed so close, like I was already there.

However, even I could only do so much.

Without wings or something to aid my little jump, I couldn't get enough air to quite reach the roof of the building on the other side of the road. That doesn't mean I didn't reach the building. I crashed through the wall of the building on the opposite side of the street and fell right into what looked like a casino. I had lost the scales and natural toughness from Esmerelda's magic, so it actually hurt a little bit. I rubbed my back as I looked around. There were little machines with levers and flashing lights lined up in rows along with large groups of ponies gathered around tables.

"What the hell was that?!" somepony shouted. My entrance had created quite a bit of dust, so I used the slight cover it granted to roll to the nearest line of machines and hide behind them. Most of the ponies began yelling in a confused, angry, or scared manner. There was a surprisingly varied reaction. In fact, some ponies even ran towards the huge hole in the wall, though it sounded like more backed away or fled. While they were distracted by the hole, I paced backwards, away from the crowd as quietly as possible.

*thud* My back smacked into something warm and furry. I slowly turned to see a pink mare with a tan mane.

"Oh m--" she started to scream. I clapped a hand over her mouth and dragged her to the nearest door I could find, which was only a few feet away from the line of machines I had hidden behind. The door led to a single bathroom, which thankfully was unoccupied. I released the mare but pressed a finger to her lips before she could talk.

"Don't make a sound. Or I'll end you on the spot." I warned. The mare looked me over quickly and began to blush bright red. I got the slight feeling she hadn't heard a word I said.

"O-oh my... This is exactly how I imagined it..."

Oddly enough, I was pretty sure I knew what she was talking about. I rolled my eyes in response. "Oh please, it's nothing like that. I just need to get to the roof. Damn, is sex all you bitches ever think about?"

The mare frowned poutily. "Oh, of course. Silly me, don't know what I was thinking. Why the heck did you drag me here though?"

"You were about to scream. I need to remain unnoticed. Now, what's the easiest way to get to the roof from here?"

"Uhhh... There's a door that leads to a stairway to the right when you leave this bathroom. I--"

"Thanks. I'm out." before the mare could say or do anything else, I had slipped out of the bathroom. The majority of the ponies had either left this floor or were still examining the hole in the wall. I located the door to the stairway easily enough and made it to the roof with no more real trouble. There was a pair of ponies making out on the stairs, but they were too engrossed in each other to even notice me. Once I was on the roof, I started looking for the mares right away.

It took me a few seconds, but I located them a few buildings away. They were on a new street perpendicular to the one I had followed from the beginning of my trip. I leapt from roof to roof until I was on the building they were directly next to. It was easy enough to keep up with them for the next few minutes. They kept going in the same direction, until eventually they turned left down a smaller road. It was realtively deserted, so I leapt from the roof of the building I was on down to the street. Sure enough, I was on the road I had been looking for. A faded white sign stood at the beginning of the road weakly, quietly displaying the name 'Trottingway Path'.

The walls of the buildings that bordered the street were absolutely covered in graffitti. Some pretty kick-ass stuff in my opinion. I didn't bother to examine it for very long. After a brief look, I started walking down the street and checking out the numbers posted in front of buildings for the 5208 I was looking for. Most of the buildings were big, much bigger than the first few buildings on the outskirts of the town. They also had stone pipes leading out of the buildings in various directions. They must've been the abandoned factories I thought I had heard the mares talking about.

"5205, 5206, 5207... Ah, finally. 5208 Trottingway Path." I quietly announced to myself as I eyed the crumbling building in front of me. It didn't stand out from the other factories in any way at all. A brilliant place for a criminal to have his weapons delivered. I walked up to the door of the factory and opened it without hesitation or thought. Just as I had expected, it wasn't empty. What I didn't expect was the mass of gryffins occupying most of the space in the building.

What I didn't expect even more than that was the fact that every one of them was covered in polka dots and silly string.

Unity was here. All that stood between me and my son was a surprised small army of gryffins. I raised my fists and grinned eagerly.

Vacation, Anypony?

Before anypony in the building could even twitch, I was moving. My first victim was a gryffin leaning on the doorway only a foot or so away from where I had entered. I grabbed him by the throat and hurled him at another gryffin standing near the center of the room. As the two gryffins went flying, the rest finally seemed to come to their senses. One flew at me from somewhere to the right, catching me off guard. Luckily, he didn't think to grab a weapon, so he simply slashed my right arm with his bare talons.

I laughed at him as I slammed my left fist around and down on his head. He fell to the ground and didn't even twitch.

I heard another gryffin take off somewhere on my left, he was likely trying to attack me before I could recover from striking the now downed gryffin at my feet. He succeeded, and he hadn't forgotten a weapon. A sharp pain lanced through my midsection as a cold blade plunged into my side. I cried out and brought my arms back around to punch the stupid bird in the beak, sending it flying away. I grabbed the dagger handle left behind by the gryffin and pulled it out of my side. I turned to face the rest of the gryffins in the building, who were gathering in an open area near the far left wall of the factory for a mass attack.

I turned towards them, spread my legs a bit apart for a more solid stance, and braced myself for the oncoming wall of foes with the dagger coated in my own blood held out in front of me. The four gryffins at the front of the mass darted forward first, as if they were trying to tell the others to attack with them as one. Fortunately for me, the others didn't catch on right away, so the four charged alone.

"Man, you guys are dumb." When the first gryffin reached me, I slammed the hilt of the dagger into his face. He hit to the ground before the others caught up. I caught the second unlucky assassin by the throat with my free hand. "I mean, really? Linear mob attack against the guy that can crack your skulls with ease." I flicked my wrist forward and slammed the gryffin in my grip against the next oncoming foe like a makeshift club. With an almost casual demeanor, I treated the last of the four gryffins to the same fate as the third. After beating the last two attackers senseless with their comrade, I released the gryffin I had been usuing to tenderize the others.

He didn't move, and I honestly couldn't tell if the oxygen deprivation had gotten to him or if he was just smart enough to stay still and not get hit again.

The rest of the would-be attackers suddenly seemed really on-the-fence about the mass attack strategy. They gazed at me with anger, but fear as well.

"Well come on you polka-dot covered kid-stealing bastards! I don't have all goddamn day!" I shouted at them as I leaped forward into the crowd myself. For a moment, nothing happened. I led with a kick, which hit one of the front gryffins and sent him reeling back into a far wall. Then, the entire building seemed to become a confused mass of feathers and inarticulate cries of rage or fear at once.

"You're doing well, champion. Display you prowess to them, so that none shall dare to even think of crossing you again!"

I grunted in response to the voice of Ravidos, and proceeded to do as he said. In the heart of the storm of feathers, I began to lash out at any gryffin I could single out. I cut them up on my right as my new dager seemed to stab into an endless wall of flesh. With my left arm, I struck them and occasionally grabbed one to bash others with. Withing mere seconds, the fight was over as soon as it had started. I was covered in talon wounds and stab wounds from the fight, quite a lot in fact.

My entire body was littered with blood and lacerations, more than a few looked at least a little serious. Nothing I couldn't handle though. As soon as I was sure it was clear, I relaxed my body and stood up surrounded by downed, more than a few possibly dead, gryffins. They were still covered in polka-dots and silly string, but both were fading. I had to find my son, and quickly. That fight was by no means quiet, and Byron could run away with my son soon if he hadn't already.

*screeeeeeeee* I whipped my head around to the left side of the building, where the strange new noise had come from. There was one more gryffin, leaning against a metal support beam. Oddly enough, he wasn't chaotically decorated like the rest. He was still normal. He was casually sliding one of his talons down the side of a dagger he held, generating an annoying metal scratching sound. I pointed my hand at him quickly.

"Don't move, or I'll fill your skull with lightning, got it?" I called to the final assassin. He merely scoffed at me.

"Don' worry yerself mate, I ain't gonna take a whack atcha like those bloody cobbers." the gryffin assured me with an oddly heavy accent that I couldn't place.

"You sure? I'm aching for some roast gryffin, and you look meatier than these others. Likely story. I'm not dropping my guard just because you say you won't attack."

"Suit yerself." the gryffin muttered disinterestedly as he continued to scrape his talons against the blade he held.

"Stay here." I ordered. "I'm gonna go get my son and then I'll be back here to get some questions answered." like why he wasn't polka-dotted like the rest. I turned away from him, confident that he wouldn't act as idiotically as the others.

"Yer ruddy joey ain't here, mate."

I turned back around. I wasn't entirely sure what he had just said, but it didn't sound good.

"What?"

"Yer son ain't here."

In an instant, I was towering over the assassin threateningly. He continued to scratch his dagger boredly.

"Then you'd better tell me where, and explain why every gryffin in this building bear the mark of his magic, or else I swear I'll--"

"Crikey, calm yer pointers cobber. I'll tell ya anything you want to know."

"Oh? Just what makes you so cooperative?" I questioned harshly.

"I'm a hired blade mate, I work for the bloke with the biggest bid. As far as I'm concerned, my life is a bigger bid than what Byron pays me." the assassin turned to the side and spat quickly. " 'Sides, you're on such a higher level than me that I might as well be underground. I ain't gonna cross blades wit a bloke like you for some pompus bastard."

"Fair enough. If you try anything funny though, or if I think for a second you're lying, I'll kill you on the spot."

"Got it guv'na. Name's Artyom, by the way."

"That's nice, I'm Sharky. Now, where the hell is Byron with my son if my son's not here? Also, if they aren't here, why are all your former allies obviously under the effect of his magic? Further more, why aren't you under the same effect?"

"Here I was thinkin' you'd 'ave tougher questions. Byron went off on some vacation, leaving the rest of us poor blokes to do all the work ourselves. He went to a right beautiful place too, a beach house he owns in Hoofalulu. You actually just missed 'im mate, he left 'bout fifteen minutes before you showed up. That's why all me mates look like that too, yer joey just left with Byron. I don't look like that on account of the fact I got here after it happened. Simple, see?"

"So... Byron has my son, and he's taking him on an island vacation?" I asked aloud, even though he had basically just answered that. He didn't have any reason to lie to me, none that I could see anyway. I didn't see any trace of a lie in his eyes, but I wasn't going to risk being wrong and totally led astray. "Alright, thanks for the help then. You're coming with me to get them."

Artyom didn't react at all, which wasn't quite what I expected.

"Work fine fer me, mate. Ain't got better things to do anyway."

I now felt without a shadow of a doubt that he was telling the truth. If he wasn't he would have been more reluctant to go with me.

"Alright then. Stay here, I'm gonna go search this place."

"You got it guv'na."

I turned away from the excessively calm gryffin and began to search the building. After a few minutes of looking around, I determined that Artyom was telling the truth for sure about Byron leaving. The location Byron had gone was still yet to be proven truthful, but knowing Artyom had been honest at least a little gave me an even better feeling about the truth of his words. I returned to the main entrance of the factory to find Artyom still in the same place. He was a bird of his word if nothing else.

"Alright then. I'm not about to sneak back through this city in my boxers, so I'm gonna need to stick around here near your for a bit."

" 'An what will that get done?"

"I'll explain when I have wings."

Artyom waved a talon lazily. "Fine, don' tell me then."

"You'll see." I sighed.

"That's just bloomin' creepy mate." Artyom remarked when I showed him my new pair of gryffin wings I had absorbed from him.

"Funny, you seem to be the first to actually say that. Well, time's wasting. Let's go." I led him out of the factory and we took off into the cool night air. With wings I was able to fly high above the city, too far to be seen by the ponies in it. It made travelling back to Esmerelda a piece of cake too, since I only had to fly in a straight line instead of dodging around buildings. I located her large body right where I had left her. She was curled up and looked like she was sleeping when I landed on the sand next to her.

"Crikey! A bloody damn dragon!" Artyom hissed as he landed next to me. Esmerelda began to stir in front of him. The gryffin took a few cautious steps back.

"Oh, don't worry. She's works with me." I assured him. Esmerelda lifter her head sleepily and turned her head around to look at me. She gave me a soft smile before breaking into a yawn. Which perfectly exposed all her massive fangs to my nervous gryffin companion.

"What the bloomin' hell are you thinkin'?!" Artyom scrambled behind me. "Dragons would serve ya fer lunch sooner than work with ya!"

"Sharky? Who's this little thing?" Esmerelda asked wearily.

"Calm down Artyom. Esmerelda, this is Artyom. He says Byron left to Hoofalulu with my son. He's coming with us so that I can beat him if he lied."

"That's awfully mean..." Esmerelda noted.

"My son was foalnapped, I'm not even going to pretend to be kind right now."

"Alright, I guess that makes sense."

Esmerelda nodded thoughtfully as I dragged Artyom onto her back.

"You do know how to get there, yes?" I asked Esmerelda quietly after wedging Artyom between two of the raised scales on her neck.

Esmerelda gave me an almost insulted look. "Of course! I know where almost everything is! Need I remind you how long I spent as Celestia's best buddy while she travelled the world?"

I had never heard anything about travels before, but I simply patted her neck and got into a seat on her neck behind Artyom. "Alright then, let's get going." I would wait until later to ask about the travelling thing.

Esmerelda took off into the night, and glided off towards what would hopefully be our final stop to finding my son and kicking the ass of the one that took him.

Pahoehoe

Thursday, February 21st (Twilight's fourth day)

I reclined further back onto Esmerelda, shifting my weight dangerously quickly and almost losing my balance. I recovered and squeezed Esmerelda's neck tighter with my legs. Were I less bored, I might have cursed my carelessness in that moment. However, we had been flying over nothing but ocean for what felt like hours. The night had gotten darker since we had started travelling, and dawn didn't seem to be on its way anytime soon. At least I would have the night on my side while trying to sneak up on Byron. Assuming we got there any time soon.

"Esmerelda! How far are we still?!" I shouted over the wind.

"Good grief man, are ya daft? That was right in my damn ear!" Artyom complained as her rubbed the side of his head. I had forgotten he was sitting so close to me. He now sounded sketchily scottish.

Wait a moment, wasn't he british... aust.... screw it, done.

"I don't know hon! I think we may be close!" Esmerelda finally answered. I could hear the unspoken apology for the length of the flight in her voice.

I sighed and turned turned my head to look at the ocean beneath us. It rippled and rolled beneath us. The pattern of waves was only broken by the occasional rock. After a few minutes of looking at the ocean, one rock in particular caught my eye. It looked like a pony carved out of a rock. There was something more strange about it than its pony like shape though. The legs on it were wrong somehow, and there was something on its head.

It suddenly turned its head up and looked at Esmerelda as we passed over.

I gasped and rolled my head back to look up at the sky. After a few moments of registering what I had just seen, I resolved to eat all meals more often and get some actual sleep instead of doing all this late night crap. If I was seeing things that didn't exist, I needed to take better care of myself.

"Sharkyyyyyy....." Esmerleda called out lowly. Her tone didn't sound overly pleasant. Panic was edging its way into her voice.

"What? Is something wrong?"

"Great scott... Come take a look laddie." Artyom had moved up on Esmerelda's neck while I was staring at the ocean. I carefully walked up Esmerelda's neck and placed myself behind her head with Artyom. Once again, my inferior eyesight didn't let me see what ever they were seeing. Sure, I had Artyom's wings, but I guess the eyes weren't a part of the deal. The only thing I saw was the sun rsing in the distance.

Then I realized it was rising in the wrong place. We were travelling south, the glow on the horizon was in front of us, not on the left like the sun should've been.

"What the hell is wrong with the sun!?" I shouted.

"Laddie.... it's the middle 'o the night." Artyom muttered darkly.

Suddenly, my mind put two and two together. A massive glow coming from the direction of the island we were heading to could only really mean one thing. As we got closer to the island, I realized that my horrible conclusion was true.

Hoofalulu had a volcano in the center of it, which was pouring lava onto the island and spouting ash and rock into the air.

"Oh shit."

The situation suddenly got a whole lot more complicated than I had thought it would be. I couldn't leave my son, but from the looks of the island, not many ponies would make it out of the eruption alive. The lava was already halfway down the volcano and would soon be spreading around the island. Only a few boats were moving out, and pegasai were being sturck down into the lava by falling rocks.

"Esmerelda, get us down there now!" I shouted out firmly, taking control to save as many lives as possible. Esmerelda approached a clear patch of beach on the island with a speed I didn't even know she was capable of. I leapt off her back and motioned for Artyom to stay with her. "Esmerelda, find and scoop up anypony you can! Artyom, try to calm down the ponies she grabs!"

"What about you!?" Esmerelda cried back. Clearly she hadn't been expecting me to jump off her back and run around on the island.

"I still have my son to find! Go! Now!"

Esmerelda hesitated for a moment more, then took off as I ordered. I saw her begin diving towards the island soon after she left, likely picking up ponies like I said. I whipped out my phone and hit Luna's call button. I hopped from foot to foot as it rang, desperate for her to pick up.

"Sharky, what a pleas--"

"Luna, the volcano on Hoofalulu is erupting! I need your help to evacuate the citizens!"

Luna looked stunned for a moment. "T-that's not possible, the volcano has not erupted in--"

"Don't argue with me! Get your ass down here now! Bring Celestia too!"

Luna stared at me with total shock.

"Now dammit, now!" I hung up without watching her reaction and ran towards the nearest screaming I could hear. A bright black flash behind me told me that Luna had indeed shown up. Her sharp gasp afterward told me she realized that the situation was all too serious.

The screaming led back to a mare in a house. Rather, trapped under the debri of what used to be a house. A large rock had flattened the building this mare used to live in, and she was trapped under what looked like the doorway. With an ease born of superhuman strength, I ripped the building parts away from her body and tossed them away. I lifter her broken form away from the wreckage.

"Ma'am! Focus for a moment! Do you know where a Byron is?!" I shouted over her screaming.

"My leg! Oh Celestia, my leg!" the mare cried.

"Bitch, focus and be helpful or I swear I'll just get rid of that leg for you!"

"Big- Ah! Ow!- big house!" the mare managed to squeak out. Satisfied with the little information I could get, I ran back to the area I had called Luna in. Luna was gone, but Celestia arrived as soon as I did.

"Oh good! Take this mare! I have to go find something!" I shouted at the sun princess. I placed the mare on the ground and took off in the same direction I had gone to find the mare. "Big house, what a brilliant damn clue." I muttered to myself.

I wandered for near half an hour, watching th lava get closer and closer to me. Occasionally I would catch a glimpse of Esmerelda or one of the princesses, but nothing else really happened. I didn't even find another helpless pony, which made me believe that the others were doing a good job evacuating. Then, suddenly I heard something that no father could ever mistake.

I heard my son crying.

I filled to the brim with energy that flowed from my very core as Unity cried out. In no time, I was drawn to the building the cries were coming from. I do not remember opening the door, but I do remember a few gryffins being in my way.

They were ripped apart like tissue.

I found Unity's room inside the large house farily easily. At least, I assume it was easy. He was laying in a small crib, crying his little eyes out when I found him. I grabbed him and clutched him to my chest without thinking. I fell to my knees with him in my arms and cradled him against my chest.

"You're safe... oh thank god you're safe..." I sobbed quietly. Though I hadn't ever allowed myself to truly admit it, I was terrified they would kill him somehow. Seeing him alive filled me with relief; so much that I very nearly began to cry.

I might have if I didn't suddenly realize that my chest was burning.

"Ow! Geez!" I held Unity away from my chest to see that I was badly burnt right in the middle of my pecs. At first, I had no idea how I had been burnt. Then I realized that my hands were on fire too. "U-Unity?!"

"Bad! Bad! Go away!" Unity bawled in my arms. I placed him on the ground gently, then began waving my hands in the air wildly to cool them off. Unity was scorching hot to the touch. The wooden floor I placed him on began to char and catch on fire beneath him, and I now realized that the crib he had been in was severely burnt.

"Unity! Unity calm down! It's me! Daddy!" I shouted. Unity didn't hear me, and began flailing his little legs. I gasped as he struck the ground and the volcano boomed in the distance, undoubtedly releasing more rocks and smoke.

*CRASH* I was proved right abut the rocks when one crashed through the ceiling and onto my head. Luckily it was a mid-sized rock, so it didn't crush me. It shattered on my skull and nearly knocked me out instead.

"Oh geez..." I muttered as I swooned to the side. A few fragments of rock flew off my skull and hit Unity. He shook his head and opened his eyes to look for the source of the rocks. When he saw me, his cries died down to sobs and he reached out pleadingly for me.

"Daddy... I scared..." he whimpered. "Bad birdies not nice!"

To be honest, I was hesitant to pick him up again, since the floor beneath him was still burning. However, I decided to grin and bear the burns; Unity needed me. I picked him up again and cradled him back to my chest. I grimaced a bit as his still scalding hot body hit my fresh burns, but I didn't let him see it.

"Don't worry son, daddy's gonna get the bad birdie, then we're going home."

"Yay!" Unity smiled through his sobs. I stood up and began looked for the door, wich oddly enough was closed. Apparently in my desperate stupor, I had charged through a wall into Unity's room. The left wall had a cartoonish outline of my body in it and rubble littered the floor around it. I opened the door on the right wall and stepped into some hallway. After searching only a few seconds, I found a pair of large, ornate doors at the very end of the hall. I figured they led to Byron, since they likely led to a master bedroom.

"Unity, wait here and don't do anything chaotic or magical. Daddy's gonna go get the birdie so we can leave, got it?"

Unity gave me a nod that was broken by a little hiccup likely brought on by his crying fit only moments before. I cracked my neck, popped my knuckles and drew my sword before kicking the fancy door clean off its hinges and sending it crashing into the room.

"Byron! I'm here to cut off your phallus and beat you to death with it! Prepare to die you cowardly ba--"

There was nopony in the room. It was a bedroom as I had expected, with a large cushy-looking bed with a canopy and many soft chairs and a window with a gold gilded frame. Nothing but fancy furniture and a body was left in the room.

Yes, a body. A dead gryffin was in the bed. The window was broken open and glass littered the floor. I walked over to the body and saw that the gryffin's neck had been cleanly sliced open. On the back wall in between the headboard and the canopy, there was lightning bolt painted on the wall in the blood of the dead gryffin.

Somepony killed Byron.

"Some bastard stole our kill!" I scowled in anger and punched Byron's corpse. It was Byron, of that I was sure. He was wearing a luxurious purple cape and his feathers looked shinier than freshly polished armor. Everything about him was perfectly manicured, there was no way this was a doppleganger or something. Somepony had really stolen my damn target!

"D-daddy?" Unity called out weakly. My rage fizzled and I sighed heavily. I hit Byron's dead body one more time before walking out of the room and grabbing Unity.

"Alright son, let's go home." I turned back one more time to look at Byron. I found my gaze lingering on the lightning bolt painted above him. What kind of message was that? Why would somepony paint it above a victim? I shrugged it off and walked beck to the room I had found Unity in. I followed the path of destruction I had left on my way in back to the entrance of the house. Which was on fire.

The wall snapped and the front door fell open. The lava had reached the house. It began pouring in through the front door, assaulting me with waves of heat.

"Shit... shit... shit shit shit shitshitshitshit!"

I suddenly chided myself for cussing in front of Unity, but the smarter part of my mind began screaming at me to run the fuck away. I turned tail and ran back down the path I had created through the walls, but didn't stop at Unity's room. I kept going through the walls until eventually I broke out of the back wall of the house and fell to the ground.

"Bleh!" Unity retched as he spat up a large shard of wood from one of the walls.

I grabbed it and threw it away before I nervously checked him for injuries or more wood. When I found nothing else on him I sighed in relief. "Sorry buddy, had to--" Heat on my back suddenly reminded me that I was running for my life. "Run!"

I got back to my feet and sprinted towards the ocean, making me safe from the lava for a while. I ran into the first few feet of ocean, splashing nosily. I couldn't just sit in the shallows though, I had to get off the island. I turned my gaze to the sky and began looking for one of the girls I had preforming the evacuation of the island. Luna was the first to come into view.

"Luna! Luna! Luuuuuuuuunaaaaaaaaaa!" I shouted while leaping up and down.

"Woona! Woona!" Unity shouted along with me, possibly mistaking my actions for a game. Luna turned towards me and approached with worrying speed. She stopped right in front of me though.

"Sharky! When did your son get here?" Luna asked with mild surprise.

"Long before I did. Look, it's not important, just get us out of here!"

"Why are you ordering me around? Aren't I your employer?" Luna questioned intently. I gave her a dumbstruck expression.

"Is this really the time for questions like that?! Ponies are dying and I will too if you don't focus!"

"Quite right, quite right. Pardon my--"

"Teleport me to Canterlot Palace! Now!"

Luna finally said no more and I vanished in a flash of light.

I appeared in Luna's room right away. Now that I was out of danger, I was able to think properly about what had just happened. There were two things that beg for my attention the most.

Somepony had assasinated Byron. My only cluse as to who was a bloody lightningbolt, which had been consumed by fire by now.

The volcano grew more violent as Unity flailed earlier. That could mean only one thing.

My son was responsible for a disaster that killed an undoubtably large amout of innocent ponies.

"Unity... No one can know it was your fault." I whispered to him. "I won't let anypony take you away from me, and if they knew they would try... I won't lose you again...

No matter who or what tries to take you."

Care To Explain?

I walked out of Luna's room and started looking around for anypony in the now dark halls of Canterlot Palace. Unity garbled out a few happy 'Daddy's as I walked around, but fell asleep quickly. I realized that it was way past his normal bedtime, and tried to keep from jostling him too much while I walked so that he could sleep better. I didn't encounter any ponies along the way for a while, but eventually the hallways began to look familiar. I followed the familiar halls and ended up in front of the room we had stayed in during my knighting ceremony. I cracked the door open out of curiosity, and it was the room we had stayed in. I remembered the beds, which I couldn't remember us ever using. My girls weren't there though.

"Ugh, I'm too tired for this crap..." I had sent too much hunting today already. I didn't want to have to search for the girls too. I resolved to check the next few rooms before giving up. There were six rooms down the hallway, and I found nothing in most of them. The fourth room down though, there was somepony in one of the beds. I saw a familiar purple mane and white coat, though both were disheveled unlike their typical well done state.

"Who goes there? Don't you dare try anything or I'll scream I swear! Then lots of big guards will-- ... Sharky? Is that you?" Rarity sprang from her bed readily the moment I took a step in the room.

"Rarity? You're still awake?"

"Oh thank goodness... You frightened me dear."

"Why are you still up Rarity? It's way late."

Rarity 'hmph'ed at me huffily. "I am a grown mare, I stay up as late as I wish." she sat on her haunches and crossed her forelegs in front of her body. I waited for a small while and she lowered them. "If you must know, you've had me scared stiff all night. Your talk about assassins and killing had me quite frazzled."

"You're in Canterlot Palace though! They couldn't get you here. Bitch, take a damn chill pill. Last thing we need is you bitching tomorrow because you're tired."

"I'll not put up with such insults! You've no idea how worried I've been."

"R-Rarity, all I said wa--"

"Not you! That uncultured alter-ego of yours!"

I sighed and pressed my pointer fingers to my temple. "Rarity, just don't... don't speak to him. How many times must I say it? I'm out anyway. Time for sleep."

"Ooooh! I swear, he gets on my nerves s--"

"Just calm down Rarity. Look, you have nothing to worry about now. The leader of the assassins is dead."

Rarity gave me a slightly worried look. "You killed him? Shouldn't he have been brought in for trial?"

I sighed again as I prepared to explain. "First of all, he was a gryffin. I can't apprehend him as an Equestrian Official without stirring up some international crap I don't want to get in. Second, he took my son and almost killed Fluttershy. I wouldn't have spared him even if I had the choice. Lastly, he was dead when I got there. I didn't kill him."

Rarity seemed to be too tired to process all of the details right away. "Well... alright dear. I think I'll be getting some rest then. Care to join me?" Rarity, tired as she seemed, didn't miss the chance to wink at me and motion towards her bed.

Though normally I would have rejected the invitation, I found the idea of waking up with the warmth of a mare pressed against me pleasing. I was getting really used to it, and it was a nice feeling. After a few moments of thinking, I decided it wasn't a horrible idea.

Then again, I was operating on no sleep and lots of muddled thoughts.

"Sure Rarity, sounds nice."

Rarity's ears lowered and she gave me a pout. "Oh alright dear. Just remember I'll be here if you change your m-- Did you say sure?" her expression changed to a cautiously hopeful grin.

I rolled my eyes at her and set Unity down in the second bed in the room. "Yeah, sure. I'm beat, and it sounds nice. Just remember we're just friends and all that."

Rarity's smile grew into a full grin, like she had just gotten some sort of prize. She bumped against my leg gently and started leading me to the bed. I followed her exhaustedly and let her climb into bed. I stripped off my hard leg armor and slipped into bed next to her. I heard Rarity gasp a little as I slid in next to her, but I simply rolled my eyes. I knew she was likely going to enjoy this far more than she should as a friend, but I didn't care. I settled in comfortably for a hopefully good sleep, and slowly drifted off.

When I woke up, I was greeted by the comfortable warmth of Rarity's body still curled up against me. A large part of me regretted not finding Twilight to sleep with, but a smaller part reminded me how exhausted I was when I had made the decision. I was sure Twilight would understand so long as I explained myself. I rolled over to see Rarity.

I ended up facing the back of her head. Rarity had turned away from me and not tried to cuddle me inappropriately while I slept. Either that or she had been cuddling me and had rolled in her sleep. I choose to assume the former and felt proud of her for sticking to the 'just friends' rule as much as she could.

"Rarity? Rarity, you awake?" I whispered to her still form. She didn't answer, so I decided to let her sleep and slipped out of the bed as silently as possible. I checked on Unity right away, but he was still sound asleep as well. I gave him a small kiss on the forehead and crystals suddenly sprouted from the headboard of the bed in a jagged pattern. After looking at the sudden growths for a few seconds, I realized they made some crude letters that spelled 'Dad'. I found myself smiling so hard I nearly teared up.

I choked back my sappy feelings and resolved to go find the other girls really quickly. Sure enough, they were all in the rooms further down the hall right after Rarity's. Fluttershy, Spike, and Twilight were in the room right next to Rarity's, and Gilda and RD were in the one after that. All of them were sound asleep, and none looked like they had slept well. Fluttershy was curled into a tight ball on her bed, Twilight was asleep in the middle of the floor as if she had fallen asleep while standing, Spike was asleep next to her, Gilda had torn up her blanket, and RD was laying half-on half-off her bed. I backed out of RD and Gilda's room and closed the door carefully once I was done checking on all the girls.

"Forget something?" an overly calm voice asked from directly behind me. I recognized the voice right away, and flinched when I heard it.

"Oh... Sorry Esmerelda..." I offered weakly as I turned to face my dragon friend. She was in her pony form, of course, and she did not look happy at all.

"Sorry? Sorry? That's all you have to say?"

"I'm really sorry? I didn't mean to leave you at Hoofalulu, I was trying to not get killed by la--"

"Save it. You could at least had one of the princesses give me a message. I shouldn't have had to circle the island six times, terrified you had died, to get Luna to finally notice and tell me you had gone to Canterlot already."

"That didn't even occur to m--"

"Maybe you could've used that magic mirror thing to call me?! You don't seem to have a problem going all the way to my cave when you need something. Oh, but when you're done with me, you can't even be bothered to call! Not even to let me know you're safe!" Esmerelda was stomping closer to me with every sentence, and raising her voice dramatically.

"Now Esmerelda, calm down. You're s--"

"Don't you dare tell me to calm down! You left me alone with an assassin on my back! To think you had died! Not only that, but you made me fly you around at ridiculous hours to places I really didn't want to go! I did it though, because that's what friends do! What do you do for me though? You ignore half my calls, you never stick around me for long, you leave me alone to care for 15 eggs by myself, you make me worry about you all the time and... and... gah!" Esmerelda sat down on her haunches huffily and crossed her forelegs.

I sat down where I stood and took a wary breath. "... I'm sorry."

Esmerelda snorted. "Are you? Because if you keep acting like this, we can't be friends anymore..." she paused for a few moments. I didn't dare to interrupt her. "I mean... I feel like I'm being used. It's like you only ever talk to me when you need my help. You never really stop by just to say hi or hang around. Even when you do it's usually because I called you, and even then you leave really quickly."

"No, please Esmerelda... It's not like that at all, I swear!"

"Then what is it, hmm?"

"Dammit, I go to sleep for a bit and you're already in some shit again? Look Esmerelda, of course you're my friend. I'm just a very busy man. I almost never get to see any of my friends for more than a few minutes at a time. In fact, I visit you more often than any other friend I have. I would never just use you, I swear. I'm just busy."

Esmerelda still sniffed a bit, but she didn't look as mad as she had when we first started talking. "Sure you are..." she muttered sarcastically. She sighed immediately after though. "That was mean. You didn't deserve that, I'm sorry. I've been up all night, I'm frustrated... I'm sorry. I know you're busy, but you could have called last night at least. I was worried sick about you!"

I nodded in agreement. "You're right Esmerelda, I should have told you. I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking. I was tired, I'd been tracking and fighting all day, I flew through a wall in my underwear, it wasn't my best night." Esmerelda turned around to face me. She didn't look angry at all anymore.

"Can you promise me you'll at least try to warn me if something like this happens again? Please?"

I gave her a soft grin and opened my arms for a hug. "Deal. Now let's have a good sorry hug."

With a grin, Esmerelda stood up and walked forward into my embrace. "Thank you..."

"No problem. You really don't need to worry so much about me though. I'm a tough guy, I'll find my way through anything."

Esmerelda chuckled in my ear. "I only worry so much because I love you, Sharky."

"Excuse me?" Another voice asked from behind us. I turned to look for the speaker. All the girls, and Spike, were very awake and looking at Esmerelda and I from the doorways of their respective rooms. RD had stepped towards us, and likely was the one that had spoken. None of the girls looked very happy with me. Spike looked scared.

"Shit, we're boned."

Celestia stormed towards her sister's chambers angrily, causing any guard or other staff member to scatter at the mere sight of her. With a magic burst, she blasted her sister's doors open and stomped onto the moon. Luna had been sitting on her bed, staring off into space dreamily. Upon Celestia's thunderous entrance, she nearly leapt three feet into the air.

"Luna, we need to talk!" Celestia thundered, slamming the doors behind her.

Luna was shocked for a moment, but managed to collect herself enough to reply. "What is the matter, sister?"

"Sharky, that's what the matter is! I warned you about him sister, I told you!"

"Celestia, calm yourself. What has Sharky done that has angered you so? I'm sure he would be plenty willing to fix it in any way he can."

Celestia tossed her mane and pawed at the ground angrily. "He has been playing you for a fool, dear sister. His heart does not belong to you."

Luna's peaceful attitude vanished the moment Celestia mentioned Sharky not loving her. "Sister, enough of this foolishness! I've had enough of your silly attempts to deter me." Luna turned away from her sister huffily, as if the argument were already over.

"Do not turn my words away so quickly Luna, I have proof this time." Celestia declared triumphantly. She levitated a paper to Luna.

"No, I'm not even going to look. I trust him, sister." Luna informed her sister firmly. Celestia snorted again.

"Look, I like Sharky as a soldier and an employee as much as you may... well, obviously less than you. I am not out to get him specifically. I am out to protect my sister from those who would hurt her. Please... just read it Luna. I will not make you, but I'm only trying to do what's best for you...." all of the anger drained from Celestia's voice and she left the room silently.

Luna tossed the paper to the ground in annoyance. She very nearly incinerated it, but something in Celestia's behavior stopped her. She always had only wanted the best for her, so why would she lie about Sharky? Luna suddenly found herself torn.

Her sister always wanted the best for her, and Luna felt that she was still trying to look out for her. She trusted her sister above any other being on the planet, but she couldn't help but feel that Celestia was being too protective.

On the other hoof, she loved Sharky, and he said he loved her back. He had proven himself to be an honorable, honest stallion, and never given her any reason to not trust him. He was a good stallion, and Luna felt that she should trust him.

Luna resolved to go ahead and destroy the paper. Whatever proof it was, she knew Sharky would never hurt her. Celestia had to be overreacting to whatever she had found.

She trusted Sharky... So why couldn't she bring herself to destroy the paper?

Luna growled in frustration as she repeatedly tried to summon the will to destroy the little scrap that was testing her trust. She couldn't do it though. No matter how hard she tried, a small part of her knew that the paper could be exactly what Celestia said it was. In the end, Luna simply hid the paper under her matress. She told herself she'd simply not look at it, but Celestia's words still plauged her mind.

Luna found herself wondering if Sharky really was who she thought.

Why Not Both?

Before I could make a sound or even blink, the four mares moved to circle Esmerelda and I. They all didn't look happy, but in different ways. Rarity looked annoyed, RD looked angry, Twilight looked confused, and Fluttershy looked hurt. I felt very threatened suddenly as they closed in on us.

"What the hay is she talking about?!" RD very nearly shouted in my face.

"You... You've been in love with this dragon? That.... doesn't make any..." Twilight muttered absently.

Desperate to stop this before it got out of control, I tried to speak over them. "N-now look girls, it's not like that. You s--"

"Well I'd say it sure looks like that." Rarity interrupted and pointed at us accusingly. I suddenly remembered I was still hugging Esmerelda, in my boxers of all things, and I dropped her with a blush.

"No, it's not like that--"

"W-why would you do this to us S-Sharky?" Fluttershy whimpered.

"I haven't done anything!" I protested desperately, struggling against a surprising feeling of guilt.

"Then you'd better have a very good explanation for this!" Rarity snapped, scowling at me and pointing at Esmerelda and I viciously.

"I do love her, but only as a friend! I was hugging her to apologize for worrying her. Earlier this very night, I was trapped on an island surrounded by lava, and I forgot to tell her I was safe. She's been worried sick for hours." the girls all seemed to calm down noticeably, but Esmerelda lowered her head sadly.

"Yes, that's what happened." she admitted. The girls released a heavy sigh and relaxed, all except for Rarity, who was staring at Esmerelda intently.

"You don't feel the same, do you Miss?" Rarity asked knowingly, still staring at Esmerelda intently.

Esmerelda looked up at her, the beginnings of tears forming in her eyes. After a small wait, she slowly shook her head. "N-no... I love him..." she admitted.

"Back off bitch! We saw him first!" Fluttershy hissed. Every head in the hall turned to give her a wide-eyed stare of amazement. and I marveled at her angry expression. The only one who didn't turn was Esmerelda, likely because she didn't know Fluttershy well enough to be shocked.

"I'm s-so sorry... It's just... he saved my life, he rescued eggs, he got me food, he's so nice, he got me a place to live and... and... I just couldn't help myself..." Esmerelda broke down into sobs. "H-he never b-betrayed you, honest! No matter h-how hard I tried..."

The girls seemed to take the news with mixed emotions. Fluttershy calmed down quickly once the tears started, and even seemed to feel sorry for Esmerelda. RD looked mad, but not furious. Her anger was mixed with confusion. Rarity looked sad for Esmerelda, and almost looked... understanding. Twilight seemed to be lost in deep thought, as if the events had reminded her of something big she needed to think about. Rarity stepped forward first and laid a comforting hoof on Esmerelda's shoulder.

"There there darling, we all know what it feels like to be ignored by Sharky." she cooed soothingly. "I know you meant us no harm, you were only trying to be happy."

"I-I'm s-sorry I yelled at you..." Fluttershy mumbled. Esmerelda sniffled a bit and looked up at the mares she expected to be furious with her. I sat back in silent amazement at the girls' capacity to forgive.

"It's not cool what you did... but I guess I understand how ya feel." RD added, stepping forward as well.

Esmerelda looked at the mares around her, confused and grateful at the same time. I got the feeling that she, much like myself, didn't quite understand how she was being forgiven and accepted like this. Twilight suddenly stepped closer to the little huddle of mares.

"Girls, we need to talk." she blurted out suddenly. She looked right at Esmerelda. "All of us." she stated more firmly and calmly. "Now." Twilight headed off to one of the rooms, and the other girls shared a few glances before they started to follow her one by one. I watched them go curiously, wondering how in the hell that situation had changed so quickly and what on Earth they needed to talk about.

"Not really my problem, I suppose. You fucking stupid? It's nothing BUT our problem." I stood up and went to Rarity's room, which thankfully they had not gone into. I didn't want to be left pantless any longer than necessary, and my armor was still in that room. I pulled it back on soon after entering and sat down on the bed Rarity and I had slept in. I sat for a while and wondered what the girls could possibly be talking about that was so important.

The girls all sat down in the little royal room, Esmerelda's presence made them all feel shockingly awkward, since it was odd for them to be including another mare in a meeting about Sharky. Twilight barely waited for them all to sit down before she started talking.

"Alright everypony, I've been thinking about something for a while. Something that for some reason, I didn't think about until just now." Twilight took a deep breath and paused for a long while.

"Well, are ya gonna say it or what?" RD snipped impatiently.

Twilight was really trying to find a way to say what she was thinking, but the words wouldn't come out of her mouth properly. "Herding!" she finally shouted out before she could lose her nerve altogether. Every other pony in the room, except Esmerelda, seemed to grasp what she meant at the same time.

"Excuse me, what do you mean?" Esmerelda asked as politely as she could, still a little worried about the girls around her hating her for loving Sharky.

"You mean... we should... ask Sharky to herd?" Fluttershy asked softly.

"That's... That's!" RD started angrily, but her face softened soon after. "Actually not a bad idea..."

"Can somepony please explain this?" Esmerelda interrupted, no less confused than when this had started. Twilight took notice of her and used the opportunity to teach to relieve some of the awkwardness she was feeling.

"Herding is when a single stallion takes on multiple mares as his partners." Twilight began explaining with a large amount of calmness restored to her behavior. "It used to be legally required for a stallion to herd, but it's optional very recently. A large part of the male population still herds, or at the very least has relationships with more than just one main partner."

Esmerelda took a few seconds to let the information sink in.

"You want... to share him?" the very concept was very foreign to her. Dragons were hoarders, not sharers. Why would she share him when she wanted him all to herself. Slowly though, a devious little plan popped into her head. Maybe if these mares let her in on this, she could steal Sharky away all for herself!

"Whoa whoa whoa. We didn't say anything about sharing him with you!" RD slammed a hoof down on the floor righteously, as if she had just laid down a law.

"W-why wouldn't we?" Fluttershy countered softly. RD turned to give her a mildly angry look of disbelief.

"Are you bucking kidding?! Fluttershy, you just called her a bitch a little while ago for trying to get with Sharky!"

Fluttershy nodded softly. "Yes, but that was when I thought she was stealing him away... As long as he loves me, I don't mind if he loves others too.... besides... I kinda imagined this myself once..."

"You imagined us all herding with Sharky?" RD asked, considerably calmer.

"N-not necessarily Sharky... but I always thought it would be great if we could all be together, even in love together... W-we're best friends after all..."

"I agree, I don't mind it so much." Twilight said with difficulty. "Alright, I won't mind so much as time passes..." she admitted. Truth be told, she did still want him all to herself a little, but she couldn't pass up the chance to be happy with her friends and love instead of one or the other.

"Girls, girls... You're getting way to attached to this idea." Rarity stated, sounding a bit like a teacher starting a lesson.

"What's so wrong with it?" Esmerelda asked innocently, she was unable to keep a small smile from forming on her face.

"I don't have a problem with adding the dragon, to be honest. So long as Sharky can find time for all of us, the idea would be wonderful." Rarity paused and softly bit her bottom lip before speaking again. "The problem with this plan is Sharky. He'd never agree."

Twilight flinched as she realized it was true, and RD kicked the ground and muttered 'dang'. Fluttershy and Esmerelda didn't seem to understand the problem.

"What kind of stallion would say no to five mares?" Esmerelda almost scoffed at the seemingly ridiculous concept of a male turning down 5 loving mares.

"Yeah, doesn't he know how happy we could all be?" Fluttershy asked quietly.

"Sharky is the kind of stallion to say no to 5 mares, regardless of how happy it could be." Rarity resumed her teacher-like voice and stood up to pace as she explained. "Sharky nearly refused to even date us on the grounds that it was 'just wrong' to him. How in the name of Celestia's pink pants can we expect him to agree to a relationship with all of us?"

"Why does he think it's wrong?" Esmerelda asked with a small pout.

"It has to do with something about the culture on his old world." Twilight stated with a heavy sigh. "For some reason, he stubbornly sticks to some odd courting rules. One female at a time is a big one of those rules, I believe."

"That and he constantly says he's not good for one of us, let alone more." Rarity added.

RD suddenly perked up like she had remembered something important. "Oh, and he's always trying to be a good guy and won't do anything with us while he's dating another mare!" she sat and smiled like she had said something really useful and smart.

"... You tried to get him to do something while he was dating me?" Twilight asked flatly, giving her a slightly annoyed glare. RD's ears went flat. and she rubbed the back of her head awkwardly.

"Uhhhh...."

"That doesn't even matter if the plan is to share him!" Esmerelda snapped, trying to return attention to the main issue. "Now, how would we get him to accept this idea?"

"Hey! We still haven't even all agreed to the idea in the first place!" RD retorted, clearly just upset at Esmerelda more than repelled by the idea.

"Would you rather be left out completely?" Rarity asked with annoyance clear in her voice. RD opened her mouth, but then closed it and lowered her head defeatedly. Rarity nodded at her approvingly and turned her attention back to the rest of the group. "It's decided then, we should try for a herd."

"Now... how to do that?" Twilight asked, keeping the most important question in everypony's mind.

Fluttershy took a small step forward and inhaled shakily. "I have an idea..."

I cradled Unity carefully as I walked around in search of Celestia's quarters. I had been thinking for a while. I had this strange feeling that maybe we didn't get along, and I didn't want that. She was really nice, most of the time. Sure, she had strange ways of testing me, pretending she was going to kill Unity and pretending to threaten me about the dragon eggs, but she always came through in the end. I stopped to ask a few service ponies around the halls as I went, making sure to cover Unity as much as I could in the process. Luckily he could be covered by my... worryingly large forearms.

"Was I always this buff?" I wondered aloud to myself as I walked. I hadn't seen a mirror in... well, the last time I remembered a mirror was when it came to life and tried to kill me. "What tried to kill you? Man, you almost died even before I was here? Why the fuck did I have to exist in the most death prone being in existence?"

Eventually, I reached what I could only assume was Celestia's chambers. Just like Luna's doors resembled the night sky, Celestia's resembled a rosy sunrise. I knocked loudly to see if Celestia was in.

"One moment please, I'm busy creating the sunrise." Celestia called back from inside the room. I stepped back from her door respectfully and waited for her to finish. As I waited, the sunrise on her door gradually rose above the horizon and replaced the beautiful reddish glow of the sunrise with the golden hue it normally gave off. The doors opened as I watched the scene, and it occurred to me too late to cover my eyes.

"Crud!" I shouted as I prepared my eyes to be assaulted by the glare of the sun which made up Celestia's room. Nothing came. Celestia stepped out of a normal four-walled room, giving me a strange look.

"What are you doing?" she asked with a bit of concern, indicating my tense form.

"Oh... uhhh... Why isn't your bedroom the sun?" I asked nervously, feeling like a total idiot as I said the question out loud. Celestia started laughing, which only made me feel worse.

"I see, you are confused since Luna's room is the moon! No, her room is really a normal room like mine, she just makes it look like the moon since she's so used to it."

I frowned and tilted my head. "I... I thought she said it... Oh well..." I cleared my throat and tried to stand up tall with confidence, as much as I had left anyway. "So, Celestia. I wanted to talk to you about something."

Celestia's expression suddenly grew serious. "Really? What do you wish to talk about?"

For some reason, I got a trapped feeling. Not like one I got while surrounded by the girls, but like one I had when surrounded by dangerous monsters. "Yeah... I wanted to talk about us."

Celestia blinked in shock and sat down with extreme confusion. Clearly she had been expecting something entirely different. "What... us?"

"I've been feeling like we don't talk very much, y'know? Even though I work for your sister and fight for Equestria and all that. I just thought that maybe it would be nice to talk a little bit, especially since I've been getting this really odd feeling lately like you don't like me. Weird, right?" I gave her a hesitant smile, hoping she wouldn't mind a small chat.

Celestia looked side to side nervously. She had spent her past few weeks talking this very man in front of her down to her sister, since she was sure he was going to hurt her. Now here he was, asking to have a nice chat to get to know her.

It wasn't often that Celestia felt even a little like an ass, but this was starting to feel like one of those times. "O-ok, sure. I believe I have some spare time..." she agreed hesitantly. I smiled ecstatically at her acceptance.

"Awesome! Let's chat in your room then, I don't want to risk somepony seeing Unity." I walked forward into her room without really asking permission.

Celestia watched him go with a dumbfounded look. Unity gave her an accusing glare and stuck out his tounge, as if he knew what she had been up to recently. Celestia eventually followed after him when she regained enough sense, and closed the door behind them.

Can't Beat Him...

Celestia had a very lavish bedroom. Everything seemed to be seemed to be edged with gold, right down to her carpeting. Her bed had a gold speckled lacey canopy and a thick blanket. The pillows all had suns stitched into them, and looked like they would be softer than clouds. There was an ornate dresser in one corner of the room, presumably filled with clothing of some sort, though I had no idea what she would wear. The only other notable decoration in the room was a big picture hanging on the right wall. It was a framed painting of a pinkish alicorn filly cuddling a tiny dark colored alicorn filly in the lap of a larger dark colored pony. Only side of the largest pony was visible, but the fillies were fully visible.

"Is that you and Luna?" I asked as I reached out to touch the painting. Celestia placed a hoof over my hand before it could reach the picture.

"Don't." she warned softly. "That painting is very old, and my magic is the only thing keeping it from crumbling. Yes, that was Luna and I back when we were very, very young. Luna and this picture are the only things I have left of that time..." Celestia drifted off in her speech slowly and seemed to be staring at nothing in particular.

"You guys used to be so small." I noted silently. "Yes, that tends to happen when you are a CHILD. Moron..." I marveled at the picture of the two young ones, amazed that Celestia had ever been a filly. I had always assumed she had come into being as an adult. I turned to talk to her, but she was staring off into nothing still. With a small nudge, I brought her back to reality.

Celestia shook her head as I nudged her and turned to me. "Sorry, I was just... remembering. Now, what did you want to talk about?"

"Like I said, I just wanna talk. Get to know you a little, maybe. Just like a normal conversation between normal ponies would be."

Celestia chuckled at me. "I do believe we would be the last things anypony would consider normal. I do appreciate the sentiment though, and I think I would rather enjoy a small chat."

I frowned a little, but tried not to show it. Celestia walked to a large, large by pony standards anyway, table in the corner of the room that I hadn't seen when I walked in. Her movements were too rigid, too fake. Her words were too controlled, almost like she had rehearsed this. "Good, glad you can make some time for me."

"Please, join me. I'll have some of my favorite tea brought in for us to enjoy while we chat." Celestia waved to the table as a sign for me to sit with her. I did so cautiously, but smiled at her as I walked. Something was up with her, but I had no idea what.

"Sounds great! So, how've things been for you lately?" I asked cheerily as I took my seat. I cradled Unity against my chest protectively.

"Very busy recently. I've still yet to finish preparations for the events of next week." Celestia paused and her horn glowed for a moment, presumably a sort of magic message to somepony on the staff to bring us tea. "How has life in this world been to you of late?"

I nodded as if I had a clue what was special about next week. I had lost all track of time, odds are it was just some holiday I hadn't remembered. "Busy, same as you. Monsters don't seem to want to leave the world alone, and I happen to be pretty good at getting rid of them. Luna calls me a lot as a result." Celestia and I hadn't broken eye contact since we sat at the table, hadn't even blinked. I got the odd feeling this was another one of her tests.

"Ah yes, I'd like to thank you on the behalf of Equestrians everywhere for your valiant efforts, by the way." Celestia leaned in a little, still not looking away.

"Bitch, step down. We will win this." I didn't lean in, but kept up the little staring contest. "No thanks really necessary, Celestia. I love being able to help the citizens. Gives my life lots of meaning, a purpose I didn't get to enjoy on my old world."

The corners of Celestia's mouth curled into a small smile. "What was life like on your old world, anyway? I've never been told why you have no interest in returning."

I leaned back against the wall behind me, realizing too late that she had me sitting in a corner, as I thought about how to respond. I formed my answer at the same time as I did a few calculations in my head. Celestia acting weird, me thinking she didn't like me, the picture of her and her sister, the fact that she had put me in a corner, and now was having this little contest. "To be honest, my old world isn't a miserable place. I just happened to get a lot of bad stuff tossed onto me at the same time. My parents died, my significant other cheated on me right before I proposed to her, I got kicked out of a prestigious school, and my house was burnt down. I don't want to go back because I have nothing to go back to." I kept all emotion out of my voice and held my stare defiantly, daring Celestia to challenge me further. I wasn't entirely done piecing everything together, but I didn't like this challenge.

Celestia too didn't react to my story. "Ah, I apologize for your loss." she stated robotically. "It must have been hard on you. Losing so much at once like that."

"Here's that tea you requested, Celestia!" somepony shouted from outside the door. Celestia looked away for a brief moment, enough for me to put on a smug smile and claim my victory. Unity sleepily swiped at my chin as Celestia opened the door with magic, levitated two cups and a teapot off a silver tray held by a white stallion, and closed the door. She carried them over to the table and poured some steamy tea into the cups.

"Thanks for the tea." I said slowly as I reached out and grabbed one of the cups.

"It's no trouble. Please, enjoy it." Celestia sipped at her own cup as I set mine down in front of me.

She did a good job of making her words sound like she meant: 'Please choke and die.'

I was hopelessly confused. It was obvious Celestia was pissed at me, but I had no idea why she would be. I'd never wronged her in any way, so far as I knew. The clues she was giving me didn't add up to anything. The only possibility they led to was something involving Luna, since she had seemed so absorbed in the picture earlier. As soon as Luna entered my thoughts, everything snapped into place.

Celestia was claiming property! She was trying to stare me down, had me backed into a corner, and was lost in memories when she looked at the picture of them as fillies. Whatever this was, it had something to do with Luna and I being close friends. Celestia wanted us apart to keep Luna to herself.

"So, what do you think of me working for Luna?" I asked lightly, feigning disinterest.

"Moona..." Unity echoed back from my arms. Coils of dark smoke curled off his paw as he batted at the air.

"I think she must think quite highly of you for her to allow you to work so closely with her." Celestia countered me with an equal amount of apathy.

"Yes, it's quite an honor." I coughed to clear my throat quickly. Celestia's magic presence was starting to affect me and before long I would be in pain from the sheer amount of magic. I still had a while though. "I hope it doesn't bother you that we're close." I continued, making sure she could hear the jab in my question.

"Why would that bother me?" Celestia asked with an amazingly real looking smile. I wasn't buying it.

"Well, you know. She tells me it's not exactly common, or socially normal for us to be together like we are." I explained simply, smiling right back at her. I wasn't much paying attention to the black smoke coming from Unity.

"Well..." Celestia paused and took another sip of tea before returning her overly happy smile to me. "There are those who would consider what you two have wrong... Even those who would look at you negatively for having such a relationship with a princess. Your employer, no less." Celestia's smile dropped for the smallest of moments.

"I knew it!" I declared, leaping to my feet as I shouted. The dark smoke was rather thick around me, but not anywhere else in the room. "You don't like me because of my relationship with Luna!"

Celestia set her cup down calmly and looked up to me as if she were about to give me some: 'Let me tell you why that's bullshit' speech. Her gaze froze on me though, and she slowly began to look angry. I couldn't see it, but the dark smoke from Unity had formed a wispy copy of Luna with her forelegs drooped around my shoulders in a hug... and her tongue stuck out at Celestia.

Celestia rose to her hooves slowly and paced over to me. She tried to stand over me and look down at me, but I was taller than her now. She was forced to try and be intimidating while looking up at me. "I will say this once, so listen well." she nearly hissed. "Leave my sister be, and don't you dare think about hurting her or I will lock you in darker hells than you can imagine."

I didn't move. "I will not leave my friends, no matter WHO you think you are to ask me." I placed my free hand on her chest below her long neck and pushed her back. She looked shocked and beyond furious. "And how dare you have the audacity to accuse me of thinking to hurt her. I came here to speak civilly and be friends. I will not stand for anypony accusing me of wishing to hurt my friends, even you, princess." I turned and stalked towards her door angrily.

"H-hey! You don't just walk away from me! I order you to come back at once!" Celestia shouted.

"Fuck you and your royalty, bitch. We ain't gonna be part of your system." I threw open the door and slammed it behind me, causing loud booms to echo through the hallway.

".... W-Waaaaaaahhhhhh!" Unity cried, likely upset by the slamming. I sighed and cooed to him softly while I stroked his mane. A cloud of dark smoke fell away from me and dissipated shortly after slightly clouding the area around me. It worried me for a moment, but only a brief moment. I began walking back through the halls to return to the girls so we could head back home. While I could soothe Unity from the booms, he would undoubtedly be hungry soon. I did my best to forget the mess with Celestia as quickly as possible, and hoped quietly that I didn't suddenly appear on the moon.

Celestia stood there for a few moments, breathing heavily. She nearly screamed and followed him in blind rage, until something finally connected to her. She sat down as a cold sweat broke out on her spine.

"Oh dear..." she muttered. Sharky's main issue with her at the end was that she had said he would even think of hurting Luna. She had been around too long to know when someone was faking an emotion, and Sharky's anger at her suggestion that he would hurt Luna was 100% real.

Without a shadow of a doubt, Sharky meant never to hurt her sister if he could help it.

Celestia had gotten so wrapped up in the idea that he was after something, that he was mortal and flawed, that it was her job to protect Luna, and that nopony could live forever and be perfect for her sister that she had failed to even look at Sharky. Now she knew for sure, he was a good stallion. Even if he could never live forever...

"Unless he can..." Celestia mused to herself as she had a sudden realization. There were rites, rituals only the strongest could overcome that would have to be done. Perhaps instead of focusing on how flawed she thought Sharky was, she could make him perfect for her sister and ensure Luna's eternal happiness.

Celestia nodded firmly to herself. "There may never be another like him. This could be my one and only chance to truly ensure she never has to suffer heartbreak..."

Fluttershy took a deep breath before explaining her plan with surprising clarity.

"Alright girls, here's how I see it. Sharky, no matter how different, is still a stallion at his core. A stallion with needs like any other male. Those of us who have slept next to him know exactly what I mean." she started out. Her face was already bright red, but she kept going firmly.

A few of the other girls smiled eagerly as they recalled what Fluttershy was talking about with the mornings thing.

"Well, it's simple when you look at it that way. While he may be able to turn us away while he's clear-headed... he'd never be able to say no while he's hard and has five willing mares in front of him." immediately after finishing her speech, Fluttershy fell to the ground and shivered uncontrollably as her embarrassment at her own words settled in.

The rest of the girls opened their mouths to offer some form of argument, but they closed one by one as they all realized the basic intelligence of the plan. Sharky, no matter how heroic, was still a male. If they appealed to his basic, instinctual, physical side, he would have little time to actually think about it and let his mental quirks get in the way. RD shook Fluttershy's shoulder and she stopped quivering. She looked up to see the grinning faces of her friends and Esmerelda.

"We're in. We'll do it during the heat cycle that way we can blame that if it backfires." RD informed her with a grin. Fluttershy nodded slowly.

"I-I got first dibs..." She proclaimed weakly. The girls burst into laughter at this, and their master plan was set in place. Sharky would fall for it for sure, no problem.

"I r-really mean it..."

Author's Note

I said I was going to post the next chapter in my blog, but now this thing is working again! So... yeah.

The Royal Friendzone

I found my way to the kitchen eventually, helped along by my growing knowledge of the layout of the castle. Unfortunately, there was no chocolate powder to be found anywhere, nor any bottles for that matter. I had taken all of it for my son, except a precious few that Celestia had asked to keep as mementos.

... Mementos like that picture in her room.

I sighed a little as Celestia made her way back into my thoughts. Sure she didn't have any real reason to threaten me, but at least she had good intentions. She just wanted to protect her sister, who I guess I was in danger of hurting somehow. Just like Spike used to say I was doing to Twilight.

"Wait a minute, Spike used to say that about Twilight, and Twilight loves me... Now Celestia's saying that about Luna and..." I thought for a moment, on the very verge of discovering that intangible reason the goddess sisters both acted so strangely around me. The concept I arrived at was ridiculous though, and I threw it aside. "Nah, surely I would know if Luna liked me too. I mean I can't be THAT dumb."

"Yes you can." A deep, masculine voice said from off to my left. I jumped a bit and turned to look at another door as it opened to reveal a large dark brown stallion. His muscles were equal to those of Steel Boulder, he could be his brother.

"Geez, when the heck did you get here?!" I shouted in shock, ignoring the comment on my stupidity. The stallion was bandaged massively, particularly around his head and chest. He seemed to be walking fine though.

"I've been in the castle a few days now, only got to the kitchen long enough ago to hear your little talk about Luna and Twilight. Must say, you're quite the mare's mustang, huh?" the stallion leaned on the doorframe easily, despite the amount of pain his bandages led me to assume he was in.

"Who the fuck are you? I uhhh... Maybe I am?"

The stallion gave me a sort of half confused frown. "Come on, don't tell me you don't recognize your old buddy Steel!"

I blinked at the stallion a few times. "Steel Boulder is black. And we all know that means he can NEVER go back."

"Yeah, while I'm wearing my enchanted armor!" he scoffed. "All the guards wear enchanted armor to look the same. Sort of a... unity... thing. You didn't really think that there were that many stallions that looked EXACTLY the same, did you?"

My son gasped and tried to look over my arm at Steel when he heard his name. "Name! My name! He know my name!" Unity shouted excitedly. I struggled to keep him covered that way Steel didn't see him.

"Oh, that makes sense! Well it was nice talking to you guess I should be going now bye!" I tried to awkwardly stutter and stumble my way past him back into the halls, but he took up almost the entire width of the doorway. I would have had to force my way past him, and I didn't want to hit the bandaged stallion.

"Oh hey wait! Was that the colt from the article? Can I see him? I love kids." he asked eagerly, genuinely interested in seeing my son.

I raised Unity a bit higher to keep Steel from peeking at him. "Uh... no, and what article?"

Steel looked a little hurt but didn't press the matter. "You know, the interview you did a little while ago." Steel mumbled as he slumped down and out of my way a little. "It was the first exclusive interview ever gotten out of you! I think just about everypony has seen it by now..."

It took me a little while to remember what the heck he was talking about. So much had happened since the interview, but I remembered it eventually. "Awww dang it! I told her to not include him!"

"What's the matter?" Steel asked, a smirk slowly spreading across his face, "Got some dirty secret about him? Is he..." Steel looked left and right quickly, "Illegitimate?"

I tried not to burst into laughter at the vast understatement. "You could say that, yes. He's about as legitimate as Fluttershy's stash of hard liquor..."

Steel nodded smugly at my confirmation. "I knew you had some secret, every knight does. Don't worry, it's safe with me."

"Alright, thanks Steel..." I turned and returned my search to the cabinets. I looked everywhere, but there wasn't a spoonful of chocolate powder anywhere, nor had Celestia left any of the bottles behind in the cabinets.

"Well, I should probably get back to the medical ward. They don't really like it when I walk around. Say I need to rest to heal properly."

"Ok then, see you later dude." I responded distractedly with a nonchalant wave. I heard his hoofsteps echoing down the halls after he left. It wasn't until a few minutes after he left that I finally remembered Unity's secondary food source.

"Yummy!" Unity shouted with glee as I re-opened another drawer near the large sink. Sure enough, there were gems embedded in the handles of some of the silverware the princesses had. I looked from side to side nervously to see if anypony was watching.

"Well... I'm sure they won't miss just one..." I mumbled as I grabbed a spoon with a large red ruby. I bent the handle until the ruby popped out of the metal and popped it into Unity's mouth as fast as I could. I couldn't find any trash cans quickly enough, so I simply opened a window and threw the spoon out.

"Ow!" a voice shouted from somewhere far below. I flinched and decided it was a good time to make a hasty exit. I quickly walked out of the kitchen and rushed down a few hallways. After only a short walk, I turned to look behind me to make sure nopony was following me angrily.

*WHAM*

I found myself suddenly sitting on the floor in a daze. It felt like I had just run into a wall! My vision swam for a few moments, but once I could see clearly I discovered the real reason I had been knocked on my butt. Celestia was sitting across from me, looking considerably less dazed but no less confused.

"Oh crap! Sweet Jesus, please don't send us to the sun! I swear I can pay for the spoon!"

Celestia didn't look any less confused after I blurted out. "... What are you talki-- It doesn't matter. Look, we need to talk. Now."

I hadn't realized I was covering my head with my free arm, but I slowly dropped it and gave her a suspicious look. "Does this talk end on the sun?"

"What? No! Look, quit foaling around and follow me!" she snipped hastily. She stood and took off at full gallop down the hall.

I'll be honest, my first thought was to just ignore her and make my escape. Curiosity won over though, and I ended up sprinting down the hallway after her. "Hey, wait up!"

I can only imagine what it must have looked like to the ponies we passed on our way. The princess, running full-tilt down the halls with a very large man sprinting after her intently, wearing full armor with weapons strapped to his back. Whatever it looked like though, we ignored the confused stares of those we passed. Eventually we made it back to her room and I, against my better judgment, followed her in.

"Alright Celestia, what the hell do you want?" I snapped, having remembered I was mad at her during our run.

"I wanted to..." she started out slowly. "I'm trying to..." Celestia released a heavy sigh. "What I mean to say is..."

I rolled my eyes dramatically at her. "Just spit it out, I don't want to wait all day."

Celestia shot me an irritated glare. "Hey, don't think you have the right to be rude to me. I'm still a princess!"

"As you should have figured by now, I don't give a damn! Now tell me why you brought me here, especially after you had the audacity to treat me like you did before." I ordered huffily, placing Unity in a chair next to her little tea table so that I could cross my arms angrily. Unity looked up at me and made an angry face at Celestia too, mimicking my crossed arms as well.

Celestia glared at me and puffed out a few breaths before finally inhaling and seeming to calm down a bit. "I brought you here... to apologize."

"Bitch we ain't apologizing to you! Are you crazy? I'm not apologizing for what happened earlier! You had no right to--"

"I'm apologizing you oaf!" Celestia shouted. She inhaled deeply and pressed her forehooves to her head. I was just shocked enough to not be mad she called me oaf.

"Ah... By all means, go on then." I muttered.

"I... had no right to try and interfere with your relationship with Luna. I just... I was just trying to protect her." Celestia spoke slowly and with great effort. Despite how mad at her I had been before, I was smart enough to realize how much pride she was choking down to say these words. I sighed softly at her and took a seat next to my son.

"I guess I'm sorry too. I could have kept that from getting out of control, probably."

Celestia shook her head. "No no, it was my fault."

"Well... why do you feel you have to protect her from me anyway? Am I doing something wrong?" the thought that I might be hurting Luna wasn't a good one. I didn't want to hurt her any more than Celestia didn't want her hurt.

"No Sharky, you are doing everything right. Therein lies the issue. One day, when you grow old and die, it will break Luna's heart. That is a pain I wish for her to never feel."

I had to stop and consider that for a moment. That was a powerful thing to say. "S-surely she's gone through losing someone like me before right? I mean... she's immortal! It has to have happened before now."

"No Sharky, she has never been so close to anypony as she is to you."

"Wow... she must have been really sheltered." I had to wonder to myself, what kind of pony is so secluded they never even have friends?

"To be entirely honest, it is my fault. I kept my sister from becoming too close to anypony for her whole life... You slipped by me though. You showed up and stole her affection so quickly I didn't even know you had it."

Celestia's words made me blush a little. "I-I'm sure it's not quite like that..."

"Oh, but it is! When I first found out, I tried to make her doubt you by saying horrible things about you. You only wanted money, power... and to a degree I believed it myself. No matter what though, she never lost her faith in you. I see now that you are something else... a stallion worthy of my sister's heart."

I tilted my head at her. She was giving me a big smile. I was a little confused. Heart?

"You have my blessings to continue your romantic relationship with my sister."

"..." My eyes widened a bit. Romance a princess? Did she think I was crazy, or just plain stupid? "Umm... Luna and I are friends..." I informed her. Now that I realized Celestia thought I was dating Luna, it was a bit easier to understand why she was mad at me before. She was over-estimating the depth of Luna and I's relationship.

"... Ha ha ha, good one. Look, I'm giving you my blessings. It's okay to openly admit you two are in love now! I've even got a plan to make you im--"

"No no, we're really just friends Celestia. I'm touched you would let me date her, but Twilight is my marefriend now. I've got other mare problems too, Luna is just my friend..."

Celestia felt a cold sweat break out. Sharky didn't seem to be the kind for cruel jokes, and something in his voice made it absolutely clear he was dead serious.

"... Ohhhh dear..." Celestia muttered. "That's not good."

Heartbreak was one thing, but heartbreak coupled with rejection could seriously destroy Luna. She had to get Sharky for Luna. She couldn't believe the article about him and Twilight was true! She had assumed it was just slander and hoped Luna would believe it... He was the one! She knew it now! She also couldn't run the risk of her sister finding out that he didn't feel the same way about her though. Her sister was loveable, kind, sweet... maybe if Sharky just spent more time with her! Celestia suddenly put on a very broad smile.

"Of course you are! I was merely playing... but say, she gets awfully lonely. Think you could do me a favor and visit her more often? She doesn't have many friends, and I'm always so busy..."

I grinned with relief, I wouldn't mind that at all. "Sure Celestia, I can do that no problem."

"Uh oh." Unity said from beside me. I turned to look at him but Celestia stole my attention back when she started talking again.

"Oh, but don't use the word friend around her ok?"

"Why not?"

Celestia seemed to be thinking for a moment. She eventually sighed and just blurted out a response. "It's a mare thing! Just don't do it!"

Yikes, mare stuff. "Alright, you got it Celestia." I promised. I decided that was all there was really to say for now and stood up. "Well, my girls are probably wondering where I am by now. I should be going."

"Yes, run along then." Celestia agreed without losing her creepy smile. I grabbed Unity and slowly backed out of the room, a little creeped out.

Once Celestia was sure he was gone down the halls, she took off down the halls herself towards her sister's room.

She had to stop Luna from reading the article!

Curiosity had finally won out. Luna was holding the article her sister had given her. She couldn't bring herself to read it, she felt like she was betraying Sharky just by still having it. She sat there, holding it for a long time before she finally found the nerve to go on...

Author's Note

Holy fuck finally done. Sorry, I've been busy... shitty excuse I know, but it's hard for me to write nowadays. I need to be completely bored to get a good writing rhythm going. Without school, and after discovering Steam, these times are more and more rare. I'm removing myself from all games for a while though, so hopefully I can write at a rate that isn't MONTHS long.

Screw Sleep

I quickly walked through the castle to the girls' rooms. Luckily I had been down this path enough times now to remember the way without help. Unity was rather loud the whole way, which meant I had to dodge servants and such while I went. Unity was getting big. Soon, I wouldn't just be able to hide him in my arms. He'd have to start wearing his disguise all the time or somepony would see him. Eventually I made it to the room and knocked on the first door. There was no response. I began to worry a little and hastily knocked on the next door. Still no response. I ran to the next and last door quickly, only to hear giggling from inside the room. I breathed a sigh of relief and opened it to see that all the girls, including Esmerelda, were just hanging out and talking to each other. Spike was out cold on a bed in the corner of the room.

"Hi Sharky!" Twilight greeted cheerfully. "We were just talking about you!"

"Oh, really? What about me?"

"Nothing important dear. At least, nothing you won't find out soon enough." Rarity tossed me a coy smile as she spoke. It suddenly struck me that everyone in the room had a mischievous look in their eyes. They were probably planning a prank of some sort, so I decided to be a good sport and just take whatever crazy scheme they had cooked up.

"Well, alright then. Well, it's time to start heading home guys. Let's all go to Luna so we can get teleported to Ponyville. Gilda... I guess you can be teleported wherever you want now."

Gilda gave me a confused look. "Whaddya mean?"

"Well, you wanted to leave us all a little while back, but I made you stay because your life was in danger. Now the gryffin that wanted you dead is gone, so you're free to go wherever you please."

"Oh... yeah..." Gilda mumbled. "Ummm..."

"Yeah Gilda, you can stay. I don't mind." RD told her as she patted her on the back with one of her wings.

"... Thanks. I mean uhh... I think I'll stay. Who knows if some other jerk wants me dead too? I think I could still let you protect me." Gilda tried to muster up some of her old air of superiority, but she wasn't doing it too well. I decided to humor her and got down on one knee and grabbed one of her talons.

"Well I'd be honored, princess. Now, let's get going home guys." I released Gilda's talon and stood back up. She was blushing a little, likely in embarrassment. Without another word, I picked up Spike then turned to walk back down the halls to Luna's room. The girls wordlessly followed behind me, still giggling and whispering to themselves.

"Luna! The article I gave you is a lie! Nothing but slander!" Celestia shouted as she burst through the doors to her sister's room.

Luna gave her a smug smile and levitated a dark pile of ash to her sister. "I knew it! That's why I disposed of it. I told you I believed in him, no matter what you say!" Luna paused for a moment. "Wait, why would you tell me it's lies if you want to keep us apart?"

Celestia smiled at the ground and breathed a sigh of relief. "I no longer wish to see you two apart sister. This morning Sharky came to my chambers and asked to talk to me for no better reason than to get to know me. Not once did he seem malicious or impure in his intent, he truly is a good stallion as you have told me. I want you to know you have my support now."

Luna teared up at her sister's words and dashed over to hug her. "Oh 'Tia, you have no idea what it means to me that you condone my relationship! It was horrible having to fight you every step of the way... I doubted myself, I doubted Sharky, I doubted you... Now everything can be right though! If you can accept us, maybe the whole of Equestria can accept us!"

Celestia pulled away from the hugs and gave her sister a worried look. "Whoa, what do you mean Luna?"

"I'm going to ask Sharky if he would like to make our relationship public! I want the world to know how we feel!" Luna explained giddily.

"Hold on Luna, don't do something like that so hastily!" Celestia warned frantically. Luna frowned at her.

"Why not?"

"Well... errr... I think you may be moving just a bit too fast. You don't want to scare him away, do you? Sharky is a very olden type when it comes to courting. That's why he refuses to touch you and things like that." Celestia gave herself a mental pat on the back for her quick thinking there.

Luna rubbed her chin thoughtfully. "Hmmm, I suppose you're right..."

"Of course I am! Now, what you should do is go out on a few dates with him. Have a few nice dinners, go for walks, whatever. Then, when he's ready, he'll ask you to go public and such."

"Of course, that makes sense." Luna smiled widely. "Thank you sister, I would have hated to make a mistake like that. I'm glad you're willing to help me now rather than fight me."

"Of course, what are sisters for, after all?" Celestia turned to leave. "I'll see you later sister. I've put off my morning duties for far too long as it is."

"Very well then, farewell sister!" Celestia left quickly to return to her duties, just barely missing Sharky and the girls as they rounded the corner to get to Luna's room.

"Oh hey Celestia, what are you doing here?" I shouted to her down the hallway when I spotted her.

"Oh, I was just visiting Luna. I'd love to talk, but I have tasks that need tending to. Goodbye."

"Wait! Are you not even going to say hi to me?" Twilight shouted after her. Celestia turned back to us again. "So sorry Twilight, it's very nice to see you again. I'm sorry but I really have to go!" Celestia took off down the halls after that and I shrugged nonchalantly. It made sense that she was busy. I led the others into Luna's room.

"Hey Luna, how are you?" I greeted as I walked in. She gave me a big smile.

"Wonderful, Sharky. Even better now that you're here!"

"Great! Well hey, we need to get back to Ponyville ok? We've been away from home too long as it is."

Luna gave me a pouty frown. I could hear the girls' whispering increasing behind me. "Are you sure you can't just stay and chat for a while?"

"I'm afraid not Luna. My pets are at home, unattended right now. And I need to be able to make food for Unity."

"I can only imagine how confused Sweetiebelle could be right now..." Rarity added.

"Scootaloo must be worried sick too!" RD said urgently. "Oohhh... I sure hope the house was low enough for her to get into last night..."

"Very well, I see you are very busy then. I'll... just send you on your way. I'll call you soon though, ok Sharky?"

"Alright Luna." I said impatiently. She nodded, then we vanished in a flash of black light...

"Wait, why am I still here?" I asked after the light vanished. Even Unity and Spike were gone from my arms. Suddenly Luna had her forelegs wrapped around my neck in a surprise hug.

"I'll call you for dinner tonight, that is." she clarified. "See you then." Then there was another flash of light and I was really gone.

I appeared in the library only seconds after the others, so nopony seemed to really notice I was late. Spike and Unity were laying on the ground now though, so I scooped them up quickly. "Alright, anypony that doesn't live here needs to leave; I'm going to follow Spike's example and get some sleep." I announced as I stepped away from the group and headed towards the stairs.

"What? It's almost the middle of the day though!" Twilight protested.

"Actually he's got the right idea." Esmerelda said with a small yawn. "We spent all night flying around Equestria. I'm beat and he probably is too."

The girls all slowly began nodding in agreement as the drowsiness from their near sleepless night set in. Twilight herself released a huge yawn, even though she had been the one to question me sleeping in the day.

"Geez, I almost forgot how much last night sucked." Gilda muttered. "Ya, bed sounds good right about now. Later..." Gilda started to walk out before she stopped like she had remembered something. "Errr... I mean, later chumps."

I laughed a little at her fake jerk attitude and drifted upstairs as everypony left to their respective homes. Twilight followed closely behind me into the bedroom. I placed Spike in his bed softly and placed Unity beside him. Then Twilight and I crawled into my bed and cuddled up close together. I was asleep before the last pony had left the building.

I woke with a sudden start. Where were Fang and Robin?

"Sharky? Why are you up? You literally just fell asleep..." Twilight muttered drowsily.

"No tired!" Unity protested from his bed. I slid out of bed and stretched lethargically.

"On second thought Twilight, sleep can wait. I have some things to do." I muttered as I walked back over to Spike's bed and picked up Unity.

"Alright buddy, if you're not tired what do you want?" I asked as I left the room. Twilight flopped her head back down on the bed and just went back to sleep rather than debate with me. The slight clinking of metal from my back reminded me I still had my weapons with me. I must have been really tired to have gotten into bed with them.

"I hungwy! Bad bird no feed!" he shouted poutily. I nodded. All he had eaten so far today was one gem. I went to the kitchen and started looking for some chocolate powder and a bottle. When I had finally made the bottle though, he refused to eat it.

"Oh c'mon man, please behave? You love chocolate milk! Shaddup and take the food ya little brat!"

"No! Want dwagon food!" he protested. I sighed and placed the bottle on the counter. Normally I would go to Esmerelda's to get gems, or go to Fluttershy's so he could eat some of the golems. They were both trying to sleep though, so I didn't want to bother them.

"Alright then, let's go visit the diamond dogs! They seem to like me, maybe I can get some gems from them. Or kill some and take the gems. Either one is good."

"Yay! Doggies!" Unity cheered.

"Alright, but before we go to the mines, we gotta find Fang and Robin."

"Oh! I play hide an' seek! I find!" Unity cheered happily before a huge shockwave erupted from his body. The wave made the world turn dark orange, making the scenery and buildings around us see-through as well. I nearly crapped my pants from the sheer shock of the sudden color change of the world, but before I could two bright white dots showed up on the horizon near the Everfree Forest.The wave receded from that point and returned to Unity. "I found!" he shouted as he pointed in the direction the dots had been in.

My jaw just hung open for a while. Had Unity literally just turned the world around us into some form of radar? Man, I would have to read the news report on that one. "Y'know, for someone that's supposed to train and control the kid, you're pretty shit at it. Unity! No big tricks like that, remember?!" I hissed angrily. Unity's little face bunched up and he started wailing.

"I j-just wanna help daddy!" he cried. I sighed and lowered my head. He was still a baby, I couldn't really be mad at him yet. Unity dissolved into a puddle of tears in my arms. Literally! He became a mass of tears as he sobbed miserably.

"No no no no no, don't cry Unity! I'm sorry, I'm glad you helped ok? Please don't cry!"

Unity ignored me and kept wailing on. It was starting to draw attention from ponies randomly walking nearby. I noticed just in time and took off towards the forest with a heavy sigh. The only solution to Unity's sadness now was to get him some food to shut him up. It didn't take long for me to reach the area of the forest the dots had been in, and I stopped just around the area I thought I had seen them in.

"Fang! Robin! You guys here?" I shouted hopefully. Sure enough, there was a bark from not too far away followed by some chirping. In a matter of seconds, my pets were by my side where they belonged. "Sorry about leaving you guys! There was an emergency!" I apologized over Unity's wailing. Fang nuzzled my leg as a response, reassuring me that it was alright. My Robin sat on my shoulder and looked away from me as if he were upset. I rolled my eyes at him.

"Right, anyway. We're going to the diamond dog mines, alright?" I shouted at them. Fang nodded and Robin continued shunning me. I sighed and shrugged. At least the trip to the mines would be easy enough.

After all, what could go wrong with that?

Thunder

Luckily I remembered the way to the mines, even though I had only been there twice before. I couldn't exactly afford to have to stop and ask for directions while I had a tiny discord made out of tears in my arms. I had begun to think about keeping Unity secret while I walked, and it suddenly hit me that I might not have to keep him hidden. Now that I was a well-loved hero, maybe I could get the princesses to announce that I was raising a little chaos god to be a good guy. I'd have to bring it up to them next time I saw them. For the time being though, I had arrived at the mines. I picked a random hole and jumped in it.

To fall a straight twenty feet.

I fell pretty hard and my legs folded under me, letting my legs hit the ground solidly. It didn't hurt, but I cursed my stupidity anyway. The fall had almost caused me to lose my grip on Unity. Luckily the shock of the fall seemed to have startled him out of his tear form and made him stop crying. I breathed a quick sigh of relief and started talking to him before he could start screaming again.

"Hey buddy! Have a good cry? Look, we're gonna go get dragon food right now, ok? It's in these tunnels! We're gonna go find it now." I rocked him gently and rubbed his head while I spoke to keep him calm. I didn't need anything weird going on in the tunnels thanks to his sour mood. Luckily he seemed to understand and perked up a bit. He still sniffled, but he wasn't bawling.

"O-okay daddy..." he mumbled with a little strain. His throat was likely a little sore from his crying fit. Fang and Robin eventually followed us into the hole. Fang jumped in and rolled with the force of the fall, and Robin just flew in. It hurt my pride a little to see my pets pull off an entry with more skill than me. Beyond that though, I began to wonder why no diamond dog had come to investigate my arrival yet. The first time I came here they met me before I even reached the mines. The second time Esmerelda had terrified them all with her landing.

"Well... where are they?" I asked the empty tunnels. What could be wrong this time? I turned to my pets, which were already standing behind me as if ready to receive orders. "Alright, same drill as last time team. Fang, explore until you find something then make some noise. Robin, you do the same. I'll do some exploring of my own. Go!" We all took off down separate halls at a full sprint. For the longest time, nothing appeared to happen. No matter where I looked, I couldn't seem to find any diamond dogs anywhere! Not even gems could be seen.

It wasn't right. Every bone in my body was shrieking that something was horribly wrong. It wasn't an unfamiliar feeling either. Whatever was wrong here, I felt like I already knew it. I just couldn't figure out what it was. Before I had time to dwell on it for too long though, rapid chirping echoed through the dirt-walled halls.

"Robin found something! Or he found something stupid, like worms. You may be vastly overestimating your bird-brained friend." I headed off down the tunnels in the direction Robin's chirps had come from. Eventually it echoed down another tunnel, and another, until Robin's noises were seemingly coming from everywhere at once! "Dang it! I'll never find him like this!" I sighed in frustration as I turned another corner into a dead-end tunnel. Shockingly though, this tunnel wasn't empty unlike every other tunnel I'd seen so far.

There was a diamond dog cowering in the back. Reflexively, my free hand darted to the hilt of the Buster Sword. However, when the diamond dog looked up to see me, he bounded to my side happily like a dutiful pet.

"Saver! Saver is alive! We thought the dragon ate Saver!" he babbled out happily. I sighed in relief and released the hilt of my weapon. They remembered my 'heroics' from our last encounter, luckily. That meant I likely wouldn't end up fighting them.

"Yes well... I defeated the dragon. Killed it like the bitch it was."

The diamond dog tilted his head at me. "The dragon was a female dog?"

I gave him a odd stare and shook my head. "What? I don't... no. Look, maybe you can help me. You can navigate these tunnels, I assume. Can you tell where that chirping is coming from?" Surely a diamond dog could find sounds in these tunnels, even if I couldn't.

"Yes, I can do this Saver." he nodded eagerly.

"Good, that sound is coming from my pet. I need to find him. Can you help me?"

"You mean... Saver did not come to help us?" the dog whined pitifully. He seemed pretty upset, which reminded me that I hadn't seen a single diamond dog besides him this whole time.

"Uhhh... yes, I came to do that too! What's wrong anyway?" Unity suddenly shifted in my arms and stared at me grumpily. "Oh, and I need a few gems too. Shouldn't be a big deal for the saver right?"

"Well..." the dog actually seemed unsure for a moment. "For the Saver... Ok! Just save us!"

"Alright, deal. I'm sure that whatever's bothering you can't be too tough. Now, just lead me to my pet and tell me what's going on while we walk."

The dog nodded and took off down one of the tunnels. I had to sprint to keep up with him, but I didn't complain. "Saver, we are under attack!" the dog began as I caught up."

"I figured it was something like that. Seems to be the only kind of problem I get called to help with. We kill bitches and get money. It's a good life. What's after you guys?"

"A dragon!" he shouted fearfully. That made me pause for a moment. Last time it had been Esmerelda...

"Another one? Is it... the same one?" I asked cautiously, wondering if maybe she needed more food and came to get it on her own.

"No no, this one is smaller. And meaner." he continued. I sighed inwardly. If it was a small dragon, I could probably handle it with ease.

"Shouldn't be a problem then, I'll handle it." The chirps seemed to be getting louder now, as if my robin were only a few feet away. Sure enough, we turned another corner to finally discover Robin! He was chirping rapidly, fluttering about in the tunnel frantically gathering up...

"Worms?!" I shouted at him. "You made this huge racket to get me to look at some worms?!"

Robin, oblivious to my anger, chirped happily and gathered up a few worms. He appeared to eat them, then landed in my arms next to Unity...

Then tried to feed the worms to Unity. My anger fizzled in an instant and I had to struggle with a huge burst of laughter. Robin had honestly thought he had found a solution to our food problem. "Called it, he's just a bird-brained moron." Unity didn't seem to happy about it though. He began to wail as he pawed at robin's face, knocking the worms to the ground. Robin chirped irritably and went to get more worms.

"No Robin, stop. He doesn't eat those." I explained quickly before letting out a small laugh. Robin fluffed his wings a few times before nodding and landing on my shoulder. "Anyway." I turned back to the diamond dog. "Well, a deal's a deal. You helped me find Robin, so just tell me where this dragon is and I'll handle it for you."

"I... I don't know where it is. I was running and it found me so I ran more... I don't know where any of my pack is, or the dragon."

"Hmmm... that's a problem. Do you remember where the gem cavern is? I'd bet a dragon would head there first thing."

"Yes! I know! I take you there!" the dog took off down the tunnels again, leaving me to sprint after him. We ran for what felt like quite some time before we finally made it to the cavern. Sure enough, it seemed that I was right about the dragon heading to the gem cavern. We could hear a voice coming from the area when we got close.

"Finally! I haven't had a decent meal in forever!" it cried. The voice was decidedly female and shockingly familiar. I knew who was talking, I knew it. I could remember the voice, but for some reason I couldn't place it. Or wouldn't place it. I couldn't face the truth of the voice. I stopped moving in the middle of the last tunnel before the cavern. The dog looked back to me.

"Saver! Come with me, the dragon is there! You were right!"

"N-no... I c-can't do it." I stuttered as I began to stumble backwards. The whole world got quiet. Unity quit wailing and stared at me. I could feel Robin's gaze burning into me too. Even the diamond dog looked at me harshly. "I c-can't go in there." I was shaking, my body felt weak. I couldn't move.

"Saver?" the dog muttered weakly. I fell to my knees in the middle of the tunnel.

"H-how did she get here?" I mumbled. It wasn't possible... "How d-did she find me?" Stupid question, but my brain wasn't functioning properly at the time.

"Saver, are you ok?"

"She did this to you, she stole your power, authority, masculinity. Now she is in the other room and you will simply sit here and cower?"

"NO!" I screamed powerfully, sending the diamond dog skittering away. I got to my feet angrily and placed Unity on the ground. I didn't want him to get involved in whatever was about to go down. I didn't exactly want to fight the dragon, but I sure as hell wasn't going to let it make me into a coward. I stomped my way over to the cavern, denting the ground with the force of each step as I went.

"Oh? Could that be who I think it is?" the dragon called in a sing-song voice from the cavern.

"You bet it is!" I shouted as I rounded the corner. Sure enough, there she was.

The purple thunder dragon that had raped me.

"What's the matter? You don't seem too happy to see me..." she curled her scaly snout into a small pouty face. I was so angry and confused and unsure what to do that I could only open my mouth and point. My face felt hot, and I was sure it had to be bright red. Luckily, before I could make myself look like too big of an idiot, a massive worm with rows and rows of teeth burst from the ceiling of the cavern. It was headed straight for me.

Then several more followed the first. A small army of death worms flew at me angrily, some of them bigger than even me.

"Thanks Unity..." I muttered as I drew the Buster Sword. At least now I wouldn't have to deal with the dragoness... right away anyway.

Diamond Soul

"I'll deal with you later!" I shouted at the dragoness quickly before whipping my sword and ax from the straps they were held in. The worms fell from the ceiling in massive numbers, raining down like a fleshy, and deadly, wave. They weren't all even the same size. Some looked as if they could easily swallow me whole, while others looked relatively harmless. About as harmless as anything with a giant mouth full of razor-like teeth can look, anyway.

Alright, let's think. They're worms, so they've got to be blind right? If I move silently, I can kill them with no trouble. I leaped back to avoid the initial rush of worms, letting loose a metallic crackle from my armored leg plates clicking together. Oh yeah, I can't do that. The worms were almost at me now, so I had no choice but to raise my weapons to meet them.

The first one met my sword with enough force to cut itself in half against my braced blade. As it's body passed, I noticed it had nothing inside of it. No organs, no blood, no unidentifiable goop. I shuddered a bit right before a second worm slammed into my arm. I was knocked off my feet and away from the rest of the falling worms, Robin panicked and flew off my shoulder.

"Oh come on you coward! Ow!" I shouted at him, but was interrupted by the feeling of hundreds of tiny dagger-like teeth digging into my arm. I grabbed the worm with my free arm and ripped it off of me. It hissed and continued to try and lunge at me while I was still holding it. It was only about as big as my forearm, luckily. I threw it on the ground and stamped out it's life quickly while returning my gaze to the chamber to see where the other worms were.

I saw nothing.

All the worms were just suddenly... gone. There were plenty of new tunnels where I had been standing earlier though, and the walls rumbled as the army of worms passed through the walls. I turned and ran to the nearest wall. I placed my ear against it to see if it would help me locate them.

Then a giant worm broke through the wall right in front of me. Once again I was knocked clean off my feet and thrown back into the pile of gems. This worm was so large his mouth covered from the top of my chest to my waist and wrapped around my sides a little. I cried out in pain as much larger teeth bit into my body, very obviously creating large wounds. I dropped my blades and grabbed the sides of the worm to try and pull it off. I didn't work, the worm was attached like a leech.

I could feel myself losing blood to this beast, and quickly. I gave up on trying to pull it off and leaned down to grab my ax. I hacked at the worm as quickly as I could, rapidly separating the mouth from the rest of it's body. With it dead, I ripped the mouth off of my chest to reveal a deep circular gash with triangular teeth marks that encompassed all my other scars. I gasped in pain and dumbly put a hand over part of the gash to try and slow the bleeding.

"Hey, pay attention!" the dragoness shouted from nearby. I looked up to see the rest of the worms rushing me from the same place the first worm had come from. I scrambled to get my weapons and met the wave head-on. I was weaker now though, even though I was ready. I cut down worm after worm with ease, working through them like a blender. I was slowing though, worms skirted through my blades and attached to my arms. More and more made it to me, slowing me down and letting more through. I couldn't hope to handle them all, and eventually I couldn't even move. I was buried under a pile of wriggling flesh with a thousand tiny mouths all trying to take a bite out of me.

I was pretty hopeless, but I wasn't going to go out like this. This was bullshit. This wasn't fair. I was a hero, why did shit like this happen to me? It made me angry. These were worms I wasn't going to let them beat me. I felt some sort of power bubbling up inside me as my anger grew. Like a bomb was ready to go off.

"Today is not your day, champion. Use some of my strength, and you will prevail." I saw the red light as Ravidos spoke to me this time. I was filled with strength, despite how injured I should have been. I could feel my anger grow, even my skin felt hot with rage.

Then all the worms suddenly let go and I was bathed in flames. My anger fizzled in an instant and was replaced with confusion. I looked side to side rapidly to see the dragoness standing next to me, still bathing me in flame. I was about to wonder why the fire didn't... well, burn. Before I could though, she stopped and I jumped to my feet. A large pile of burnt worms had formed around me, but still more were coming from the wall. I didn't say anything to the dragoness, I just nodded and charged the rest of the worms. This time I was full of anger and energy. They never stood a chance.

About 10-20 minutes later, the worms finally stopped coming. I stood there at the hole they had charged through breathing heavily, the piles of flesh around me were nearly as tall as I was. One little worm wiggled out of the piles next to me. I let loose a battle cry, dropped my weapons and beat it into the ground with my bare hands for a long while. When I was done, my rage had finally subsided and there was a considerable crater where the worm had been. I stood back up, sheathed my weapons, and brushed myself off to get rid of the large amounts of worm meat that still stuck to my body.

"That... was... amazing!" the dragoness squealed when I saw her on the other side of the piles. I simply ignored her, turned to grab a few of the gems from the pile, then turned back to exit the cavern. Unfortunately, the way was blocked by a small swarm of diamond dogs.

"Great, the fuck do you want? Uhhh... hi." I shifted from foot to foot restlessly while they stared at me expectantly. The dragoness walked up next to my side, but again I ignored her.

Eventually one of them spoke up. "Is the Saver not going to beat the dragon?" he asked.

"Beat? What? Don't be ridiculous, the hero would never lay a hand on--" the dragoness' sentence was cut off by the back of my hand.

"Fuck you I wouldn't lay a hand on you. The dragon... works for me. She just came here to get some food." I lied. An ancient looking diamond dog stepped forward from the crowd. He was decorated in paint and had a horned helm.

"Is this true? You have a dragon as an ally?" the ancient dog asked with flawless speech. I raised an eyebrow at him, he was different from the others.

"Well, maybe as an ally, but he's not my--" Once again I cut the dragoness off with a backhand. Harder this time, the sound echoed around the cavern. She rubbed her jaw and looked up at me with confusion.

"Yes, she's a sort of employee of mine, if you will." I lied again.

"B-but--" I just raised my hand this time and glared at her. She flinched and clamped her mouth shut.

"Ah, then you are truly as powerful as I have been told." the ancient dog mused. "The dogs in this pack have been spreading word of your legendary heroics, most every dog knows of you."

"Alright... well, pardon my ignorance, but who the heck are you?"

"Forgive me, it had never occurred to me that you would know nothing of our traditions and race. You see, I am the Elder Alpha. The eldest and wisest leader of all our packs. Sort of the big dog, pardon the pun."

I cracked a smile at his joke. I had a feeling I could get to like this guy.

"I came here to hear of your tales myself, right from the source." he paused for a moment. "Truth be told, I did not believe the stories at first. Even if the final tale ended in your supposed death. After seeing you here and seeing you in action though... I do not doubt you."

"Well, that's cool and all. You guys can thank me later, but I have things to do. So..." I started to head towards the doorway, but the ancient dog help up a paw. I sighed and continued to wait patiently.

"I was not quite finished. May I know your actual name, Savior?"

"My name is Sharky, Sharky White. I can give you the full name along with my titles, if you'd like." I offered sarcastically. The old dog smiled slightly.

"I understand you are busy, but this is important to us. Just a bit longer. Now, we would like to thank you for all the deeds you have done for our kind. For your selfless risking of your own life to make life easier for the pack."

"Alright, you're welcome. We fucking done here?"

The elderly dog slowly walked up to me and placed one paw on my arm. "Sharky White of Equestria, we would like to give you the title of...

Diamond Soul!"

Suddenly the whole world around me changed. I saw the world as the diamond dogs did. Every gem was beautiful, and mine to unearth. They had to all be found, every last one. The world was incomplete until all beauty in the ground could be seen! However, They weren't the most important thing to me. The pack was everything. We lived together, worked together, played together. Every single dog was my family, my friend. We could conquer anything together, so long as we stayed together. I would do anything for them!

Then it was all gone. I looked around the cavern for a few seconds, feeling a little lost. Where was my pack? My senses started working normally after just a little while, and I looked at my new family happily.

"You are one of us now. No matter where you go and what dogs you meet, they will know you have the soul of a diamond dog. They will accept you as a member of their own pack. This is the highest honor we can give and... We truly believe you've earned it for protecting us like you have."

I was at a loss for words for a long while. Mostly because I felt pretty bad. Almost every time I had 'helped' these guys... no, every time I helped these guys it was really only me getting something from them. Eventually I just gently placed my hand on the Alpha's shoulder. "I.... Thank you. This means a lot to me, and I'm sorry for rushing you earlier." It was big deal for them to basically proudly declare me one of their own. It really was touching.

"It is our pleasure to have you in our pack, Sharky. Now, I believe you had somepony you were looking for..." the Alpha clapped his paws and a dog brought forward Unity and another escorted Fang to me. I took my son from them carefully and gave him a stern glare.

"I swear kid, you're gonna be the death of me..."

"I was curious about that infant you carry with you, Sharky... He has much potential." the Alpha looked up into my eyes. "Make sure you raise him right."

I had a feeling the Alpha knew exactly who my son was, or used to be. Unlike the rest of the dogs. I simply nodded respectfully and placed one of the gems in my free hand in Unity's mouth. "I will, thank you."

"Excellent. Then I think it's best you started heading home. Oh, and pack! Load up a cart of gems for Sharky's dragon companion!"

A few dogs came forward and quickly loaded a cart as the rest of them moved out of my way to let me through the cavern. Robin came down from wherever he had run off to and landed on my shoulder. I wanted to be mad at him for running away, but the truth was he simply was not much of a fighter. Eventually we all made it back to the surface and I couldn't help but look back for a little while.

"Well that was pretty cool, huh?" the dragoness suddenly piped up beside me. I glared at her, but she didn't seem to notice. Instead she seemed really interested in my right shoulder. "Whoa, that's cool! I didn't see that before." I looked down at my shoulder to see what she was talking about. Sure enough, on my shoulder there was a faintly sparkling paw print where the Alpha had placed his paw while declaring me Diamond Soul.

"Oh shit, he branded us!Yeah, that is kinda cool." I agreed. Then I turned on my heel and started to leave. "Bye."

"H-hey! Wait up!"

"Oh yeah, you're right. I forgot something." I mumbled as I turned around. Right as she got close to me, I reared back my right hand and punched her, sending her flying across the dirt expanse above the mines. "That's for the Arena!" I shouted after her angrily. I walked after her, and she cowered under me when I got to her.

"P-please don't hurt me! I was only doing what I knew, please!" she begged.

I sighed and patted her on the head. "That's for trying to save my life back there. It doesn't by any means mean I forgive you, but it's a start."

"H-hey... I didn't try to save your life, I did."

"No, I would have been fine without you. Now, leave this place. I have family here, mares that love me and a home. I won't have your arrival screw that up, and Celestia knows what my marefriends would do to you."

"I... I'm not leaving. I told you I loved you and I intend to earn your love in return."

"Look, I'm sorry to tell you this but it's never gonna happen. Just go, find some other guy. Preferably some other dragon guy."

The dragoness was beginning to tear up. "N-no! I won't give up!" she shouted before spreading her wings and blasting herself into the air. I looked at her cart of gems and sighed.

"Bitch." I mumbled as I turned to head home.

Resting is Good

On my way back home, I realized how tired I was. My injuries and exhaustion had been mostly forgotten in the wave of adrenaline I had suddenly gotten in the fight. Now though, I knew I was in a pretty serious spot. Not life threatening, but I really just needed to rest and restore some blood. I really needed to just rest in general, actually. In retrospect that fight with the worms should have been no trouble from the start, but I was slipping. I could remember my first hunt, with the timber wolves. Back then I had taken on a full pack without my powers! Now though, a simple bunch of worms nearly did me in.

"I really need to rest up and get back on my A game. That display back there was pretty pathetic." I mumbled to myself. "Yeah, no shit. Maybe you can just hand the body to ol' Steven every once in awhile. Eh?" Eventually I made it back to the library, one hand full of gems and the other hand holding Unity. Which presented a bit of a problem since the library was once again surrounded by paparazzi. "Shit..." I cursed quietly, then silently ridiculed myself for cussing in front of Unity. I did my best to cover Unity up with the gems and held him above the eye level of the press ponies.

"Hey! It's him!" One of the camera ponies shouted.

"It has begun." with a few quick steps, I plowed right through the ponies and right to the door of the library. I flicked the door open long enough for Fang to slip in then slammed it behind us.

"Oh hey, you're back!" Twilight greeted from across the room. She was sitting quietly near the bookshelves, but she wasn't reading.

"Yeah, I'm back." I returned hollowly. I started to walk towards the stairs.

"Whoa! Sharky, what happened this time?!" Twilight ran up to me and stared at my new scar. This one was a circle that perfectly encompassed all my previous scars with triangular spikes that pointed inward. That thing had some seriously sharp teeth.

"Long story short I went to get Unity food and he made giant worms."

"... Worms?"

"Yes, worms."

"... You're telling me... worms did this to you."

"... Shut up." I mumbled as I turned away from her to walk up the stairs.

Twilight followed right behind me. "Oh, I didn't mean to offend you! I'm sure they were very deadly worms. Did they like... breathe fire? Were they made of steel as well as being large?"

"No they were just very large worms. Lots of very large worms."

"Then why is your scar cauterized?"

"Oh, there was a dragon too."

Twilight beamed at this. "Oh, so that's how they were able to hurt you!"

"No no, the dragon was helping me." I admitted glumly.

"Then... I don't get it! Did you sleep through half the fight?"

"Look, it just wasn't my day." I snapped as I placed Unity down in his bed for a nap.

"Awww, I'm sorry Sharky. I'm sure you'll do better next time." Twilight stood on her hind legs and hugged my waist.

"Hey, lay off! We don't want your damn sympathy. That's nice Twilight." I sighed as I patted her head. "Hey, why aren't you mad at me for coming back hurt?"

"I guess I'm kinda used to it now. I mean, it's in your nature to attract trouble. I can't really be mad at you for that."

I finally smiled and picked her up after putting Unity's gems in a pile next to his bed. "I'm proud of you for that, Twi. It'll be much more fun coming home without being afraid of you being angry."

"So, what're your plans now?" Twilight asked sweetly as she nuzzled her head against my shoulder.

"I just wanna lay down and get some rest, honestly. I'm falling apart. Those worms shoulda been a piece of cake."

"Yeah, I didn't wanna say anything... but you're really bad at taking care of yourself. Like... really bad."

"I get it, I get it." I chuckled a little as I climbed up onto the ledge that held our beds. "Well for the rest of today I'm just gonna try and take it easy. Try."

Twilight nodded in agreement. "Sounds like a plan. If you put me down, I can go make some lunch for the two of us. That way you can still eat but not have to lift a hoof!"

"Great idea, go make us a sandwich, woman. Twilight, you know how I feel about you cooking." I said sternly as I plopped her down on the bed. Twilight rolled her eyes at me.

"I'm not cooking because I feel like I have to, I'm cooking because I want to. You need to learn to let me do things for you too, you know."

"Sorry, it's just not in my nature I guess. You're right, I suppose. If you don't mind making lunch, I would appreciate it."

Twilight smiled at me again and shook her head. "I don't mind at all. Now," she hopped off the bed and her horn began to glow. Suddenly I was hoisted off the ground.

"H-hey! Whoa!" I shouted nervously as I flew for a bit. It was a really unnatural feeling that put me on edge every time. My weapons were removed and placed on the ground. I was gently lowered onto the bed by Twilight's magic embrace. Then the covers were lifted to my neck magically.

"Now you stay here and take it easy, got it?"

"No promises." I responded with a sly grin. Twilight giggled and trotted over to give me a quick kiss. I returned her kiss with just a quick peck on her lips before wiggling into a comfy position on the bed.

"Alright you, I'll be back in just a bit."

"Ok Twilight, see you then." I replied lazily as I leaned back further into my pillow. I closed my eyes and breathed in deeply, wondering if I could fall asleep before Twilight even finished lunch. I was disturbed by something jumping on my bed though. I opened one eye and turned my head slightly to see Fang. I had kind of been expecting him, but what I wasn't expecting was that he was holding Unity by the scruff of his neck in his mouth.

"Sweep wif daddy?" Unity asked shyly. I smiled at him and waved Fang over.

"Sure, come on over guys."

Fang placed Unity by my left arm then curled up next to my right side. Unity nuzzled my shoulder as he settled in. I smiled at the both of them before closing my eyes and settling in again.

"Hey, Sharky..." somepony whispered. They were gently nudging me, obviously the cause of my waking up. I groaned sleepily and blinked my eyes open to see Twilight standing next to my bed. "Hey sleepy. I'm sorry to wake you, but lunch is ready."

"Oh, ok." I grunted. I twisted my neck slowly to release a few *pop*s.

"Sorry it took so long, I had to run to the market and pick up some fresh peppers."

"Peppers? What did you make?"

"I tried out this new recipe, it's called a jalapeno popper! It's a jalapeno filled with melty cheddar cheese and deep fried with some breading."

"You have fryers here?" I asked skeptically as she lifted the plate of delicious looking golden brown poppers into my field of vision. I couldn't help but drool a little bit.

"It's just heated oil, why wouldn't we have it?"

"Fair point... Umm, would you mind lifting these guys off me? You can probably do it without disturbing them since, you know, magic and all."

"Oh yeah, of course." Twilight lifted the two furballs off me and gently set them down on her bed. As soon as they were off me, I sat up and stretched to work out the last bit of drowsiness from my limbs. Then I snatched up the plate of poppers and popped one into my mouth. "Oh wait Sharky they're--" Twilight started to say something but stopped as I chewed.

"They're what?" I asked through my mouthful of food. The popper was absolutely delicious. The breading was crispy and had a light salty taste, which complimented the burst of juice and flavor from the incredibly fresh tasting pepper. The cheese in the middle was zesty and strong tasting, rounding off the whole flavor nicely. Twilight stared at me open-mouthed as I swallowed it.

"... F-fresh out of the oil." she muttered.

"So?" I asked disinterestedly as I started on another one.

"Sharky that thing should be scalding! We were supposed to sit and talk for a while so they could cool off for a bit! They should be burning you right now..."

"Oh. Well I guess they aren't so hot as you thought." they just felt warm to me, like they had been cooked and cooled as they normally would be. Twilight still looked skeptical though.

"Let me see..." she muttered as she reached for one of the poppers. The moment her hoof made contact, she pulled away hastily. "Ow!" she grumbled quietly as she could, likely since there was a sleeping child near. "Sharky, that thing is piping hot still!"

"Well... I dunno." I muttered disinterestedly as I finished eating my second one. I didn't really care how I was eating them, it only really mattered that I keep eating them. They were absolutely delicious.

"H-hey! Save some for me... this was supposed to be our lunch." Twilight pouted as I devoured another in just two bites. "We were supposed to sit and talk for a while so they could cool, then eat together."

I sighed and set the plate down at the foot of the bed. Then I patted the empty space beside me. "Well, hop up and let's talk then." Twilight jumped up as I said and settled in by leaning into my side. "Alright, well what did you want to talk about."

"Well first of all, I'm really concerned about you eating things that should be amazingly hot. What's even stranger is that you don't seem to feel it."

I thought for a little bit before coming up with an answer. "Maybe it's another species difference between us. I mean, we've never eaten hot food like this before together."

"Are all humans seemingly immune to extreme heat?"

"Well no, but I'm saying maybe you feel temperatures differently than we do. What's cool to me could be scalding to you."

"Hmmm... I guess that's a possibility... No, wait! I've seen you have burns all over your body before. No less or more severe than a pony would have gotten in the same situation."

"Then... then I really don't know." I replied simply with a small shrug. "Perhaps we should just move on from it. I mean, never look a gift horse in the mouth, right?"

Twilight leaned forward and looked up at me with a bewildered look.

"It's uhh... just a saying on my planet."

"Okay, moving on then." Twilight moved back to her place leaning against my side. "The second thing I really wanted to talk about was your job."

I groaned and rolled my eyes. "Twilight, I'm not quitting. We had this discussion several times."

"No no, I'm ok with you working to defend Equestria now. I actually was more talking about your boss."

"Luna? What about her?"

"... What exactly do you think of her?"

"Well, she's nice, pays well, and we're really good friends."

Twilight groaned loudly. "Oh buck, she is in love with you!"

I leaned away from her and gave her a confused look. "What? How do you figure?"

"Just trust me on this one, ok? I don't want you in any possibly amorous situations with her. It's bad enough you've got 5 mares after you already."

"Twilight, don't be so silly. She's my boss and a princess. Do you even know how odd that would be?"

"Oh come on Sharky, don't tell me your world didn't have fables. Stories where the gallant knight defeats a great evil and wins the heart of the fair princess, you know? You basically are that knight every day!"

"We're just good friends Twilight, cool it. I mean, she told me I can't even tell ponies we're friends on the grounds that the relationship we had was not socially acceptable. So if just being friends was like that to her, how in Equestria could she like me more?"

Twilight gave me a hard stare for a while. "This is the same sort of circular thinking you used to tell yourself that I didn't like you, isn't it?"

"Well no, not exactly." I stated defensively.

"Oh, and how does her situation and actions differ from mine?"

"Easy, she's from olden culture. Courting and stuff. That's a long and complicated process from what I understand."

Twilight opened her mouth to respond but closed it and seemed to be thinking. "Actually that makes sense..."

"See? I told you so. I mean really, a princess and an alien knight?"

"It does sound kind of silly when you phrase it like that." Twilight giggled a little. "I must've just been imagining things then when I saw the love in her eyes." Twilight's voice had been light and airy when she started talking, but it dropped to a dead serious tone after the word 'imagining'.

"Look Twilight, I know you may think you saw something like that, but I'm telling you it's just not true. Maybe what you saw was just affection, ya? I mean, I'm her best and only friend right now."

"Sharky, it wasn't just me that saw it. Rarity, Fluttershy, Rainbow, and even Esmerelda saw it."

I sighed and rolled my eyes. "Isn't it possible that you all just made the same mistake? Look, I've got a dinner with her later. As friends. While I'm there, I'll ask her straight up how she feels about me."

Twilight smiled. "Good, then you'll see I'm right."

"Hey, maybe I'm right. There's every chance you're completely wrong about this."

"Not a single bit of chance, Sharky. Know how I know?"

"How?"

"The way she looks at you is exactly the way I look at you. She's in love with you, just like me." Twilight snuggled into my side a bit. "... No matter how dumb you can be."

"Hey, I am very intelligent, thank you very much. You can't really call him dumb when you're the one trying to argue with the brick wall that is Sharky."

"Heh heh, sometimes. Sometimes you are very smart. Other times... you can miss the obvious. We'll leave it at that."

"Well, I can agree to that. Anypony can miss the obvious if they're not paying attention."

*HAAAAAAALLELUJAH!!!*

"Gah!" Twilight gasped as the ringtone for my phone suddenly went off. She rolled off the bed in shock as I calmly answered the phone.

"Hey Luna. What's up?" I asked casually. "Got a mission?"

"No, we were going to dinner tonight, remember?" she looked mildly upset at the idea that I had forgotten about her.

"No, I remember that. It's only midday though. I'm actually just now eating lunch."

"Hey! Ask her Sharky, see if I'm right!" Twilight whispered from somewhere on the floor. She was just now standing back up.

"Not now, I'll ask her at dinner."

"Ask me what at dinner?" Luna asked abruptly.

"Nothing, I'll ask you at dinner. Anyway, why did you call so early?"

"Well, I called to see if you wouldn't mind coming earlier. We could go see a play or go for a trot or... something." Luna seemed pretty nervous about asking me. It suddenly struck me that Luna had gone from being a regal authoritative figure to an almost girlish mare in the time we had known each other. She must be really nervous since I was her first friend in a while.

"Well..." I mulled for a bit. I didn't really want to leave, but hanging out with Luna sounded nice too. "Twilight, what do you think?"

"I think you should go. I don't want to give you the impression I'll keep you cooped up with me all the time, and it's good to spend time with friends."

"Awesome, I'll call you when I'm ready to go Luna. I just wanna finish my lunch."

"Of course! See you soon." Luna hung up suddenly and I shrugged as I slipped the phone back into its place.

"Well, I'm kinda surprised you gave that the ok Twilight." I stated curiously. She was usually a bit... greedy when it came to me, so far as I had seen. "Especially since you think she likes me."

"I'm not really worried about her stealing you away from me... us." Twilight scoffed confidently. "You've told me you loved me and I believe you. You're an honorable stallion, and would never fall for her while you're with me... us."

I didn't speak for a while. I just reached down and pulled Twilight up into my lap. I hugged her lightly and nuzzled her neck a bit. "Thank you... It means a lot to me that you trust me, you know."

"Oh... Uh... I always trusted you." Twilight said gently as she wrapped her hooves around my neck.

"No, no you didn't. You were always worried about me not being careful on missions, and never wanted me to be around other mares you thought liked me. Don't try to deny it, I remember all those glares you gave me back before I knew you liked me."

"... I guess I do trust you more now then. Anyway, hurry with your lunch. I'm eager for you to see Luna and prove me right."

I laughed a little and released her. "Yeah, right." I scoffed as I turned to grab my plate of food. I ate a few poppers before I really got to thinking. "Hey Twilight?"

"Yes?"

"What... Let's just say you're right. If you're right... how do I let her down easy?" pissing off a goddess wasn't exactly high on my list of priorities.

"Just be as nice as you can. If she gets upset, give her some space. I'm sure she can be mature about it."

"Yeah, you're right. She's thousands of years old. Odds are she's been interested in quite a few ponies that didn't return the feelings by now."

"Exactly. Trust me, it'll all work out after you find out I'm right and turn her down."

I nodded and there was a long silence for a while. After I finished my poppers and stood up to call Luna, Twilight piped up.

"Just uhh.... Don't forget your weapons, alright?"

"Why would I need my weapons?"

"Oh, you know... M-maybe she finds a mission for you while you're out."

"Good point. Thanks hon." I picked up my weapons from their place on the ground and strapped them to my back. "Can never be too careful knowing my luck." I whipped out my phone and hit Luna's call button. She answered before the first ring was even half over.

"Sharky! You're ready?" she asked excitedly. I nodded.

"Yep, let's get going Luna. Geez, calm down crazy."

"Excellent!"

In a flash of light, I vanished from the library.

"... Good luck." Twilight whispered worriedly to the empty room.

Author's Note

This took so long because I couldn't get to a decent damn cliffhanger. This still isn't good, but it's good enough.

Lightning Blade

I showed up not in Luna's room like I had expected, but in the royal gardens. Luna was standing a few feet in front of me.

"Hey Luna!" I greeted happily. "Hey, why am I here this time?"

"I... I just like this place." Luna answered. "It's special for us. Don't you remember?"

I looked around a bit and smiled as I saw a familiar turtle-shaped rosebush. "This is where I wandered off to the first day I spent I Canterlot Palace. Right after I fell through a wall I believe. I found you here and started teaching you to speak like the rest of the world."

Luna nodded happily. "That was the first time you were more than an employee to me." she trotted over to me and leaned against my side. "I guess you could say this was were we first really met. You got to see the real me, instead of the formidable Princess of the Night."

"Well, I guess we both liked what we saw that day." I stated blankly, as if I wasn't really considering what I was saying.

Luna blushed a little bit and bumped her hips against me. "Hee hee, I know I most certainly did." she walked forward a bit and sat down facing me. "So, what do you wish to partake in first? There's a play about a legendary warrior going on soon, a sort of carnival is in Canterlot at the moment, or we could just spend some quiet time together if you'd like that."

I raised my brow in interest when the words "legendary warrior" came up. "That play sounds interesting." I mused aloud. "Let's go see that!"

Luna tilted her head at me with a small frown. "Really? I was most certain you would wish to partake in the carnival. I didn't take you as the type to want to sit still and watch theater for hours..."

"Well that was your mistake, princess." I jeered with a smug smile. "I love movies and plays as much as I enjoy a good book or story by a campfire."

"You enjoy reading?" Luna asked confusedly. "I'd never have guessed! I mean, you're so... physical that it's hard to picture you as an intellectual."

"Well, I guess I see your point. I'm actually a huge intellectual though. I was... well I was considered pretty smart in my old world. A huge nerd, if you will."

"You?" Luna giggled. "I... I still can't see it. Well, back to the matter at hoof. The theater is in a very densely populated part of the city, so we will have to teleport directly into my viewing booth if we wish to remain unseen."

"Oh, alright. Out of curiosity, why is walking out of the question? Do you just never walk anywhere?"

"No, 'tis not that. I said if we wish to remain unseen we must teleport. Our... relationship... is still secret." Luna paused for an unusually long time around the word "relationship". If I didn't know better, I would have thought she was going to say something else.

"Well ok, if that's what you want." I muttered, a little upset that she still didn't want anyone to know about our friendship. It kind of annoyed me that she had to keep me some big secret. "So... why is it a secret again?"

"Well... it 'tis improper for somepony of my stature to be with a knight..." Luna mumbled shyly.

"So... I'm not good enough to be seen with, that's it?" I asked with more than a little sting in my words. I was surprisingly insulted by the idea that she didn't want to be seen with me.

"N-no! That is not what We meant at all! We would be happy to be seen with you!" she nearly shouted in an almost panicked fashion.

"... Now you fucked up." I just kind of glared at her for a little while. Luna appeared to be about to burst into tears before she finally realized why I was glaring at her and face-hooved.

"I meant to say 'I'. Sorry, I was emotional and got caught up in the moment." she finally corrected herself. I nodded approvingly.

"Good. Now if you really don't mind being seen with me, why do you keep saying how improper it would be, and why do you want to not be seen on the way to the theater?"

"Well... I just... At first I meant it, I was afraid of how society would view us." Luna inhaled shakily before continuing. "After a while though... I did want everypony to know, despite what anypony thought of us. However, I was convinced you didn't want it to be known..."

"What in Equestria gave you that idea?"

Luna shrugged. "I don't know... I guess I just assumed."

"Well, just so you know..." I walked over to Luna and hung one arm around her shoulders. "I'm totally ok with everypony knowing we hang out, ok?"

Luna smiled up at me with a light blush on her face. "R-really? It would mean a lot to me to be able to tell ponies how I feel about you."

How she really feels about me? That reminds me...

"Hey Luna, about that... Ah, nevermind. I'll ask you later. We just avoided an early death, sweet."

"Ask me what later?" Luna asked as she nuzzled my chest. I snickered a little. Then giggled. Then burst out into full-on laughter.

"L-Luna! Bwahahah! Stop! T-that tickles!" I began weakly pushing her head away from my chest to stop her from rubbing against me any longer. Normally I wasn't ticklish at all! I'd even stood Rarity constantly rubbing my chest before. Maybe it was because of her coat, all the tiny soft hairs had to be working the same way a feather would.

"You're ticklish?!" Luna exclaimed with glee, which I didn't take as a good sign.

"H-hey, wait just a m-moment!" I weakly protested as Luna pulled her head away from me and attacked my midsection with her hooves. Luckily her smooth hooves weren't capable of tickling me; it was only her coat that had gotten to me. As soon as I could regain my composure, I grabbed her hooves and stepped back. "Ha! Your hooves have no effect on me!"

"Awww! That's no... Wait! What're you--" Luna exclaimed as I suddenly dropped low and flipped her onto her back. I jumped onto her and began tickling her sides with a wicked grin on my face.

"S-Sharky I'm n-not..." *hee* "t-ticklish!" Luna tried to say as she suppressed a few giggles.

I grinned at her and kept up my attack mercilessly. "You're a bad liar." I told her as she finally burst into uproarious laughter. She flailed weakly, striking my arms in an attempt to stop me. I simply laughed along with her and kept tickling. "This is possibly the dumbest kind of fight I've ever seen."

"S-stop! Please!" Luna eventually managed to gasp in between laughs. I sighed and stepped off of her. Luna rolled back to her hooves quickly and smiled at me. "Wow, I can't remember the last time I did anything like that."

"Heh, me either. I thought I wasn't even ticklish anymore."

"I've always been very ticklish. 'Tia is too! When we were young we would ambush each other in the halls of the castle and just tickle each other until one of us couldn't breathe."

I thought for a brief moment to come up with a mental picture of that. "Dear god that's adorable." I shook my head clear of the image before it gave me a heart attack and cleared my throat. "So, we're heading to that play right? Shouldn't we get walking?"

Luna beamed at me. "Yes, I suppose we should."

We both stood up and began walking out of the gardens side-by-side. "Alright then, just lead the way, princess."

We walked for a bit before reaching the castle gate. "Greetings, Princess Luna!" one of the guards shouted. "Greetings... Sharky?"

"Open the gate, please!" Luna called back. The guard pulled a lever quickly and the gates slowly opened.

"Ummm... May I ask what buisness you have walking through the gates, Princess? I know very well you can just teleport or fly to wherever you want..."

"Luna felt like walking." I stated simply. "I'm escorting her. Got a problem with that, meat?"

"N-no no! Sorry for asking!"

I gave him a confused look and shrugged, but Luna just kept walking. I took a few rushed steps to catch up with her and we continued on our way. "So... are all the guards allowed to question your business?"

"He was just confused, I never go through the gate. Not since I've returned, and certainly not in his lifetime. I can forgive a nosy question or two when presented with such strange behavior."

"Wow, really? Why do you avoid walking so much?"

"It's not really that I avoid it, it's just easier to teleport where I want to go."

"I guess that makes sense, but then why did you make a fuss about us walking earlier?"

"Well in this case it's more of a publicity thing. I wanted to be seen with you, and I had assumed you didn't wish the same."

"Ah, I see. Well, we certainly seem to be attracting said publicity." I stated as I pointed out the small crowd already gawking at us. We had barely reached the first buildings past the castle and already ponies were noticing us.

"Hee hee, crowds will tend to gather when a hero and a princess are seen, let alone when they are seen together."

I nodded in agreement. One thing I noticed though was the slight difference in the normal crowds I attracted. Firstly, they all had elegant garments and jewelry on, indicating that we were in a very wealthy part of Canterlot. Two, they did not approach us. They maintained a healthy distance and whispered amongst themselves. "Is this what crowds are like for you? Mine are usually a bit more mob-ish."

Luna turned to look at me questioningly. "Mob-ish?"

"Well, you know. They surround me and pester me. This time though, they won't come near us."

"'Tis likely respect. I am royalty after all."

"I don't get why that stops them..."

Luna laughed once loudly before responding. "That's because you hold no respect for social norms. You've addressed me informally for almost as long as we've known each other. I guess that's one of the reasons I find your company so... refreshing."

A few cameras began flashing from the slowly growing mob of ponies around us. Luna smiled in their direction and even stopped to do a few regal poses, which got her some cheers from the crowd. I laughed a little and gave her bunny ears for a few of the pictures, which only gained me confused looks from the crowd. I frowned as I remembered that the bunny ears were a human thing and stopped. I did take a page from Luna's book and posed a bit for the photographers on my side of the mob, which earned a few cheers as well.

"Alright, we're here." Luna suddenly said. She stopped me in front of a huge stone building with the classic theater masks expressing joy and sorrow hanging over a large, thick-looking wooden door. The doors were pulled open for us by two unremarkable stallions wearing little red vests.

"Do you have any idea how many reports will be written on what we just did?" I asked with a little bit of laughter in my voice.

Luna giggled. "I imagine everypony that's anypony will know all about it by tomorrow morning, if not by tonight."

"Geez, that's what I need. More questions for reporters to heckle me about."

"Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to inconvenience you..."

"Nah, it's no big deal. I'll just ignore them. Anyway, let's keep going." inside the theater was a small booth that had a little board that said "Tickets" over it. We approached it and the mare in the booth started shaking visibly.

"Uhhh... W-welcome, how can I help you today?" she asked with wide eyes. Luna stepped forward.

"Two tickets to "Lightning: Tales of the Eclipse" please.

"O-ok..." the mare stammered as she retrieved our tickets from somewhere in her booth. Luna levitated her a few coins I hadn't noticed she brought and we proceeded into the theater.

"Alright, follow me to my private viewing platform." Luna ordered. I nodded and followed behind her dutifully.

"So, what exactly is this about?" I inquired as we walked into the main viewing area. The stage was dark and the curtains were drawn at the moment. "I mean, you told me it was about a hero or something, right? What else?"

"Well, it's mostly about a stallion named Lightning Blade, the hero obviously. He works for a organization known as "The Eclipse". This is a performance of some of his missions as a legendary assassin."

"Wow, is this a true story?"

Luna shook her head. "No, it's based off of a novel written by a stallion named "Living Ink". He's a famous writer known for the Tales of the Eclipse. Lightning Blade is only one of the many outstanding heroes and heroines in his novels." Luna eventually led me to a door which led to a sectioned off viewing booth that was designed the same way as the Wonderbolts viewing platform RD and I had used.

"Really? His books are so popular they have theater acts based on them?"

"Yes. In fact I am surprised you haven't heard of him yourself."

This viewing area had luxurious looking sofas instead of thrones, likely since the length of a play demanded much more comfortable seats. Luna and I took our seats on her night themed sofa. After I settled in, Luna leaned against me and snuggled herself in next to me. "So when does it start? How long is it?"

"It should start in just a bit. If I remember correctly, this play is just over four hours long."

"Yikes, never sat in a theater that long before." I admitted. "I sure hope this is entertaining."

"It will be, I promise. This is one of the more popular shows in Equestria right now, so it must be good."

"Alright, I'll take your word for it. If this doesn't make me laugh at least once, heads will roll."

Luna and I sat in peaceful silence until finally the lights in the theater dimmed even further. Everypony in the area immediately quieted whatever noise they had been making and turned their attention to the stage. A single spotlight suddenly beamed down onto the stage, illuminating a familiar stallion.

"Holy cow, that's Spot Light!" I exclaimed softly when I realized who the stallion was. Luna gave me a strange look.

"Yes, that is a spot light. Very good Sharky." she added the last part with a teasing tone. I tossed her an irritated glare.

"No, that stallion is named Spot Light. He was one of the ponies that helped me in the Deadlands. I knew he was an actor, but I didn't expect to ever see him again!"

"Well shhh, he's trying to narrate the beginning of the play." Luna informed with a little bit of impatience in her tone. I guessed she was genuinely interested in the story.

"Sometimes, there are crimes so severe that they can change the nature of a kingdom." Spot Light started out somberly. "Sometimes, there are criminals so vile they can never be allowed to exist. There are times that a decision has to be made, early and decisively to preserve the peace. Decisions that even rulers cannot make in time. There are things even the sun and moon cannot see from their positions in the heavens." Spot light held still for a while, pausing for effect I assumed.

"For these times, these eclipses in which no light exists, heroes can come from the dark. They come in the dead of night, one with the shadows to do what must be done...

The Eclipse.

A legendary group of assassins so skilled, their existence is not even known. This is the tale of one such assassin, Lightning Blade. His speed is unrivaled even among the legendary Eclipse, and his accomplishments are vast and impressive--"

"Wait, Luna... if their existence isn't known, how was this play made?"

"It's a work of fiction Sharky. Obviously." she snipped. "Now shhh!"

"Jeez, calm the fuck down. It's just a stupid show..."

I listened to the rest of the intro a little peeved at Luna's snippyness, but eased up by the time the first scene started. It was an interesting tale right off the bat. It began with a stallion locked in a cell surrounded by dozens of unicorns with their horns all pointed at him. Another stallion trotted onstage very cockily and began monologuing to the stallion in the cage which he referred to as "Lightning Blade". He talked for a good, long while. Once he was done, the stallion in the cage got to his hooves shakily.

Even from the distance I was at, I saw the stallion, Lightning Blade, grin.

"Judgement has been passed. You die today." Lightning Blade said simply. What happened next had to require some sort of magical special effects. Lightning Blade vanished from his cage. Nearly too quickly for me to follow, he appeared by all of the unicorns and snapped their necks in a few fluid motions. The villain cowered when Lightning finally reached him. There was a flash of light as two bolt-shaped blades appeared along Lightning's legs.

What happened next made me leap to my feet in shock. Lightning Blade executed the villain as expected...

"Sharky? Is something wrong?" Luna asked as I rocketed to my feet. I shakily pointed to the wall over the villain.

Lightning Blade had painted a lightning bolt on the wall over the villain's head with the villian's blood.

Author's Note

Can't remember why that last part is shocking?
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/13024/134/my-better-life/pahoehoe
Re-read that chapter carefully.

Living Arrangements

Luna and I goofed off in the carnival for quite a while. Unfortunately for us, we were both too big to ride any of the rides effectively. So we ended up spending most of our time letting the game booths rob us blind. Not that we weren't winning, we just ended up having to pay to replace things we broke in almost every booth. I shattered the bottles in a game where you throw a baseball at some stacked bottles. Luna won a ring toss game and accidentally kicked a side of the booth in her excitement, knocking the whole thing down. We were basically a complete menace to society for a while.

I couldn't remember any time I'd ever had that much fun.

Eventually we gathered a small following of ponies that went with us to whatever booth we decided to terrorize next. They cheered us on as we inevitably destroyed whatever game we played, sharing in our happiness.

Luna stayed close to me almost the whole time, practically as if she were fused to my hip. I didn't mind it at all. She was warm and soft and nice to be around. To be honest, I was beginning to not want to go home to the craziness that was my life. Four crazy mares, a kid, two pets, too many friends to divide my time between fairly... Not that I didn't love all of those things, they just got a little stressful sometimes.

"Hey, look! A dart-throwing game!" Luna shouted excitedly, shaking me out of a small stupor I had been in. I smiled at her and jogged over to the game by her side. We ordered a few shots from the stunned booth runner and he slowly handed both of us five darts each as he regained his senses somewhat after the shock of seeing a princess and a celebrity show up at his booth.

"Ladies first, Luna." I offered with a wave towards the counter. There was a line marked into the counter that said 'No magic past this point'. Likely to indicate where a unicorn was required to release a dart from a levitation spell. Other than that, it was a standard dart game like from earth where you tried to pop balloons with a dart. Simple enough, it seemed. Luna stepped up to the counter with a small smile. I stepped a few feet away when she started lifting the darts to keep from being hurt by her magic. She obeyed the line well, and her aim wasn't bad, but all her darts bounced harmlessly off the balloons despite her best efforts.

"Awww!" she whined as her final dart fell to the ground uselessly. The booth runner had a relieved smile on his face. "I was soooo close! Did you see that Sharky?" Luna pointed at the board in disappointment. I grinned devilishly and nodded. I had been watching during Luna's turn to see what the trick was, and I had figured out how to win. The darts all tipped down at the last second, causing the tip of the dart to miss the balloons entirely. I examined one of my darts closely, and sure enough, there was a bit of extra metal welded to the base of the tip of the dart.

"Don't worry Luna, I'll get you a prize." I promised as I bent the tip of the dart up just enough to counter the drop caused by the added weight welded on to it. The booth runner began to look nervous.

"H-hey! You can't do that!" he shouted worriedly. I scoffed at him and pointed at the rule board.

"Then fucking stop me, if you wanna try. Show me the rule then." I challenged. There wasn't any rule about altering the darts, so the booth runner just frowned angrily. "Alright then, watch this!" I cheered eagerly as I threw my first dart right through the balloon it was aimed at... and the board it was attached to.

"H-hey!" the booth runner shouted as he gaped at the new hole in his stand. Luckily the booth was placed with its back facing a building, so the dart didn't have a chance to hit something else beyond the booth.

"Oh geez! Uhh... oops..." I muttered in embarrassment. A small blush formed on my cheeks as I raised the next dart. Luna was already laughing hysterically at me for breaking the stall in record time. "I'm very sorry about this" I threw my last few darts, popping a balloon and breaking the stall with every single one. The stall owner looked absolutely irate.

"What the buck! You're gonna have to--"

I held out a handful of gold bits before he could continue.

"... Ah, very well then... You still technically won the grand prize, I suppose. So which one do you want?" he pointed to a row of giant stuffed toys. I turned to Luna to ask which one she wanted, but she was literally rolling on the ground laughing at me. She already had a giant stuffed carrot from almost every booth we had been to, and one moon-shaped pillow thing. They didn't have a carrot at this one, so I decided to get her another moon pillow.

"I'll take the moon." I said as I pointed at the pillow. The stallion levitated it over to me carefully.

"Alright, here you go. Heh, must be pretty hard to maintain a marefriend like that, eh?" the stallion motioned towards Luna. "Tell you what, since I admire your bravery for courting a princess, I'll let you have two to give her."

I paused for a moment and stared at him. Then I slowly began to chuckle. "N-no sir, you've got it all wrong! Luna and I are just friends. I do really appreciate the offer though."

"Aww, really? An' here I was thinkin' you two made a kinda cute couple. You know, even if you're not the same as us."

"Well thanks, but I'm not quite crazy enough to try that. Besides, I've got other things to worry about."

"You should consider it, really. A normal pony wouldn't have a snowball's chance in hell, but you're a hero. Plus, she really seems to like being with you." the stallion pointed at Luna, who was still having an epic giggle fit.

"How can you tell?" I asked sarcastically. "Just 'cuz she's laughing doesn't mean she likes me."

"Bro, I can't tell you how many couples I've seen come through our carnival, no matter where it is. Just trust me on this one, you guys act like a couple."

"Hmmm..." I rubbed my chin thoughtfully. "Alright, I'll think about it." I lied. "I gotta get going to the next booth now. Thanks for telling me your thoughts." I quickly left him and walked over to Luna's side. She was still laughing to herself while rolling on the ground. I nudged her with my foot and she slowly began to recover. "It wasn't that funny Luna."

"I-I apologize, it was just.... the look on your face! Pfft!" Luna dissolved into another fit of laughter after her finishing her explanation. I waited patiently for her to regain her composure, and as soon as she stood back up I handed her the moon pillow wordlessly. "Oh! You did get me a prize!"

"Yeah. They didn't have any carrots, sorry."

Luna levitated the pillow away from me and placed it in some saddlebags we had purchased a little while back to hold all her prizes. I flinched and would have dropped the pillow had it not already been wrapped in Luna's aura. Luna dropped the spell on the pillow, allowing it to fall to the ground, as soon as she saw she was hurting me. "Oh, sorry!"

I rubbed the spot on my forehead where a small horn was forming. It had twitched out a bit more, but it hadn't split my skin yet. No blood, no foul as far as I was concerned. "It's alright Luna, I'm fine."

"I'd almost forgotten my magic hurts you... Tell me, how much does it hurt right now? I mean... we've been close for a little while."

"I'm fine." I lied. Truth be told, the only reason I was still capable of functioning normally was the fact that I had let Luna wander away from me a few times while we were in the carnival. Then I tried to copy somepony's aura close to me, funneling out a bit of Luna's magic for a bit until she found me again and we continued on our way.

Luna frowned at me, as if she knew I was lying to her about being alright. "Ok, if you say so." she looked away for a second, then bent down to pick up the pillow with her mouth. She placed it in her bags, then turned back to me. "Well it was sweet of you to win me another prize."

"Heh, not a problem. Anyway, it's getting late. Shouldn't we head to dinner?" I motioned towards the sun, which was beginning to hang low in the sky.

"Yes, I suppose we should. I almost wish we could've stayed here a bit longer though." she admitted wistfully.

"Heh, me too Luna. This was fun. We should hang out more often."

Luna nodded. "So, where should we go for dinner?"

"Wait, I was under the impression you had like... reserved a place, or maybe we'd be eating in the gardens like we did that... one... other time." I coughed awkwardly as I remembered the events of that night.

"Well, I had originally planned for us to have another picnic." Luna continued, completely unfazed by the memories of the other night. "That was only because I hadn't thought you'd be willing to go out in public. Now we can go anywhere we want though."

"Huh, makes sense. I've got no clue what sorts of food places you guys have around here though. I mean, I only know like... three in Ponyville, and I live there!"

"Well, let's start by picking a type of food. I prefer spicy foods myself--"

"Heh, a mare after my own heart." I joked with a grin. "I love spicy foods."

"Really? Most of visiting nobles, and even Celestia herself, aren't very fond of spicy things. So we don't usually keep too many fiery foods around, sadly."

"You're a princess though! Shouldn't you have whatever the heck you want to eat?" I asked with more than a little surprise.

"I hate to be a bother to the staff. So I just try not to request too much. Just because I have the ability doesn't mean I should abuse it, right?"

I nodded. "Yeah, I see where you're coming from with that. I hate asking for things too."

"Wow, that's so odd. I never thought we had so much in common."

"Yeah, me either." I admitted with a smile. "So, now that we've decided on spicy food, what places can we go to?

"Hmmm... I know of a fine little diner that serves the best southern griffin tribe cuisine."

"What in the name of all that is good is southern griffin tribe cuisine?"

Luna smiled cryptically and laughed a little. "You'll see soon enough." she started trotting off in the direction of the carnival's exit. I followed behind her curiously, not quite sure what to expect. She led me through the streets of Canterlot, where we once again picked up our small crowd of followers. Just like before, they maintained a healthy, respectful distance. Eventually Luna brought me to a tall building with slanted roof and walls made of windows.

"What's this place?" I stared at the strange building in awe. It was absolutely filled with not just ponies, but minotaurs, griffins, and even a few small dragons. "Why are there so many different races in there?"

Luna giggled at me again, her laugh kinda reminded me of wind chimes. I was enjoying my time with her more and more every second. "This is the capital of Equestria, silly. Every once in a while, we have visitors from other nations. It's to be expected. The restaurant even serves some meat-based dishes to cater to our carnivorous guests."

My mouth began watering a little at the prospect of eating some meat. "Oh... meat, huh?" I tried to sound disinterested, but my sentence sounded more longing than uncaring.

"Yes, not very savory, I agree." Luna continued, ignorant of my longing. "It must be done though, to show other nations we are courteous enough go out of our way to provide things for them. No matter how sickening the idea of butchering other creatures is..."

I coughed awkwardly a few times. "Uhhh... Luna..." I murmured as we reached the back of a very long waiting line. Luna neatly stepped around it and continued towards the door. After pausing for a few seconds, I followed her past the line. I looked at the mixed groups in the line, expecting to see angry or jealous glares. On the contrary though, they seemed in awe.

"Yes, Sharky?" Luna turned her head slightly so that she could see me with one eye without jeopardizing her ability to walk forward.

"Ummm..." I let my sentence hang awkwardly, unsure if I should tell her about my eating habits. Luckily, before I could look like too much of an idiot, we reached the front door. The ponies nearest to it cleared the way for us to enter.

"Thank you." Luna nodded at the ponies with a small smile. We continued walking until we reached a little desk with a beige colored mare behind it. The beige mare was staring intently at some sort of list, so Luna had to clear her throat to get the mare's attention. "Table for two please." Luna asked sweetly once she had the mare's focus. The mare didn't say a word, she just simply gawked at us for a bit before scrambling out from behind her tiny desk.

"O-of course!" she managed to squeak out. "Just one moment!" the mare darted into the building, but returned quickly. "We're having a table cleared fro you right away, Princess Luna and... H-hero."

"Thank you." Luna motioned for the mare to lead us to our table. The mare led us into the building and had us sit down at a nice table right at the corner of the building, so that we had windows on both sides. The mare placed a menu in front of both our seats.

"I hope this table is to your liking!" the mare started with a bit more strength in her voice than before. "A server will be by in a moment to take your drink orders."

"Thank you, this will do just fine." Luna assured her. The mare backed away from our table while bowing repeatedly. I blushed a little and rubbed the back of my head as I took my seat. Luna sat across from me and cleared her throat. "So, what was it you were trying to say earlier?"

"Oh uhhh..." I mumbled nervously. "It was nothing, nothing."

"Oh come now Sharky, you know you can tell me anything. I know it wasn't nothing."

"Bitch, what the fuck did I just say? I said it's nothing, Luna." I stated a bit more forcefully. Luna pouted at me.

"Awww, come on. Tell me? Pretty please?" she begged. I sighed and decided she was going to figure it out eventually anyway.

"I eat meat, Luna. And we ain't talkin' pussy. Just fresh, dripping slabs of freshly killed meat." I informed her quickly. Luna's eyes went wide.

"... Oh."

"Yeah." I opened my mouth and tapped one of my canines. "It's kinda what these are for."

Luna began to blush and just sat across from me with a blank stare for a bit. "... Oh."

"Yeah." I sat in my spot for a few awkward moments too. "It's not like I enjoy the idea of butchering other things, it's just how my body was built. I can't help what I am."

"What would you two like to drink today?" A waitress appeared out of seemingly nowhere.

"Mineral water for me, please." Luna spoke quickly and assuredly, like she hadn't just been sitting in a daze moments before.

"Uhhh... let's see." I opened my menu and scanned it for the drinks section. "Peach tea, please."

The mare quickly scribbled down the drink orders onto a pad of paper. "Alright, we'll have those out for you in just a moment."

"Thank you." I muttered. Luna cleared her throat a little to gain my attention after the waitress left.

"I'm uhh... I'm s-sorry for what I said..."

"No, it's alright Luna. I mean, I can't fault you for thinking like that. Besides, this is no big deal. It's just a dispute over dietary preference. 'Sides, you can't really complain about meat eaters. You were all set to take this guy's meat only a few days ago."

Luna suddenly began blushing even more. She looked around quickly at the surrounding tables. I looked too, to try and see what she was looking for. All the couples at tables around us were too distracted by each other to pay much attention to us. "Can you get that Steven thing to be silent? He says the most vulgar things..."

"Sorry, there's not much I can do to shut him up. Hey, it's the truth. Deal with it."

Luna slowly began to crack a smile. "Well, I suppose he is right... I really can't complain about it. I mean, I've been in the company of many foreigners that eat meat as well, so I won't let this bother me."

"Whew, thanks Luna."

"It's no trouble. I should really be thanking you for not being angry with me."

"Oh, I could never be mad at you for just having an opinion."

"Wait, I almost forgot! Didn't you say you had something you'd ask me at dinner? I've been dying to know what this big question is!"

"Oh..." I paused for a moment to think about the events of the day. I was pretty sure I knew what her answer would be, but I still had to ask. "Luna... How do you feel about me? Really?"

Luna tilted her head at me. "Well that's a silly question. You should know how I feel about you..." Luna's eyes went wide. "Oh no! Do you doubt my feelings? Have I done something?"

"No no, it's nothing like that. I just need to hear it. Please."

"Hmmm..." Luna closed her eyes and seemed to be thinking for a moment. Eventually, she opened her eyes and smiled softly at me. "I could say this in three simple words, but I think I'll give you the long answer."

"Alright." I crossed my arms and leaned back in my chair, patiently awaiting her answer.

Luna took a deep breath before starting. "Sharky, in a way... you're like the best friend I'll ever have. I always have fun around you, ever since we first met. That wrestling match was the highlight of my month. You always make me feel good about myself, even when it means you have to help me fix something about myself. Like when you taught me to speak normally. You're there for me, even when most others would be scared away. Like when..." Luna quieted down and leaned in closer to me. "Like when I told you about the Nightmare. I want to have you with me for as long as possible, I want you to be around me forever.When we're not together, I often wonder what you're doing, and if you're thinking of me and--"

I placed a finger on Luna's lips and smiled at her so widely I thought my face might split in two. "I feel almost the exact same way Luna. That's exactly what I was wanting to hear."

"R-really? Oh, I'm so glad you feel the same!" Luna reached across the table and hugged my neck. She gave me a quick kiss on the cheek before retreating to her side. I didn't think much of it.

"Of course I do! I'm just so glad I can finally relax and tell Twilight she was wrong."

"Twilight? What were you trying to prove her wrong about?"

"Oh nothing, she just thought our relationship was a bit more... intimate than it is."

The waitress arrived silently and placed our drinks down in front of us. "Do you two know what you want to order?" she asked politely.

"Oh, I haven't even had a chance to look at the menu yet." I informed her. "Would you mind coming back in just a little bit?"

"Not a problem at all." the waitress left just as quietly as she had arrived. I turned back to Luna, who looked a little confused.

"Why would Twilight care about how intimate we are? This is my sister's pupil we're talking about, right? Not some other Twilight?"

"Yeah, she's the one. The one I live with. Who else would we be talking about?"

"Oh, I don't know. Just had to make sure. I uhhh... I didn't know you lived with another mare...." Luna was beginning to sound a little upset.

"Well yeah. I've lived with her for almost the entire time I've been here."

"You know, you could come live with me in the castle." Luna offered suddenly. I laughed a little.

"Yeah, good one Luna."

"No, I mean it. We have nice rooms, excellent staff, great security. You could be very happy there."

"Luna, A. Why would security matter to me in the slightest? B. Why in Equestria would I just up and leave Ponyville?"

"I don't know... It just seems a bit... improper for you to be living with her..."

I stopped to think about her words for a moment. It was true. It wasn't really right for Twilight and I to live together while we weren't married or even really committed as of yet. Even then, I didn't really want to leave Ponyville. Luna appeared to see the hesitance on my face and quickly spoke again before I could turn down the offer.

"Plus, it could be great for Unity! I mean... 'Tia and I are plenty capable of helping you keep his powers under control. Judging by the reports I've gotten on him, he can be quite a a bit of trouble."

"... You have reports written on my son? You fucking stalk us? Bail dude, bail now."

Luna rolled her eyes. "He's one of the most powerful and dangerous magic beings on this planet. Of course I have him watched."

I opened my mouth to reply, but just closed it again and shrugged. She was right, it made sense. "Alright Luna, you've got a deal. I'll come to live here for a bit in about three weeks, ok?"

Luna gave me a pouty expression. "Why three weeks?"

"I have some... unfinished business in Ponyville." I offered weakly, opting to not tell her about me dating four mares. I wasn't quite sure how she'd take it.

Luna didn't stop frowning, but she nodded. "Alright, I understand. At least you will be coming... I was so afraid you'd say no, there for a moment."

"Well... to be honest, I almost did I only agreed because Unity nearly killed me with giant worms this morning. I could really use some help keeping him under control, much as I hate to admit it."

"Oh... Well, all the same, this is a big step in our relationship. I'm glad you agreed to take it."

"I guess it is." I shrugged. "I don't really see it as a big decision though."

"Really? Even though it's so sudden?" Luna seemed so nervous about the whole ordeal, and I had no idea why. She was the one that suggested it.

"Yeah, it's fine with me. This could be really great. I mean, Canterlot's a big city. Who knows what kinds of stuff I could do here? The ponies I could meet... The stuff we could do together..." Luna raised a brow at this statement. "This could be a really fun time, while I'm staying."

Luna seemed to be contemplating all the things that could happen while I was in the staying. I decided to stop and think it over for a bit too. Luna began to blush and her mouth curled up into a sly grin. I suddenly began to think off all the chaos I could've just unleashed upon this innocent city by bringing Unity and Steven here.

"This most certainly will be great." Luna said.

"I'm not so sure about this, actually." I said at the exact same time.

Twilight is Right

"This is great!" I exclaimed with a grin as I dug into a plate of some dish I couldn't pronounce. Southern griffin tribe cuisine was like some sort of mixture between Hispanic and Asian food, but with twice the amount of peppers involved. There were literally tears of both pain and pleasure in my eyes as I ate.

"A-are you ok Sharky? You're crying!" Luna exclaimed worriedly.

It was true, there were almost streams of tears on my face. "Don't worry Luna, the tears mean I'm having a good time!" I assured her as I scarfed down more food, further increasing the intensity of the burning.

Luna chuckled a bit and began digging into her own food. Eventually she was crying right along with me! We looked up at each other every once in a while, causing us to giggle at the sight of each other's tear-covered faces. Before long, we were causing a few of the ponies at the tables around us to laugh nervously at the sight of a princess and a hero just completely losing their shit over a simple meal. Eventually we both managed to get a grip and regain our composure somewhat.

"S-so anyway Luna..." I choked out amidst the leftover giggles. "H-how's life at the castle treat you, anyway?"

"Oh, it's great Sharky." Luna started eagerly. "Servants 24/7 tending to your every need--"

"We didn't ask for a freakin' repeat of what we've already heard."

"Oh, you're right... I did mention that already..." Luna tapped her chin thoughtfully. I waited patiently for a bit of new information, not quite sure why she had changed sentences in the middle of her first sentence, but not questioning it either. "Well, what would you like to know about it?"

"Well I only really wanna know if you're happy there." I took another bite of my food and grimaced as the burn settled back in. "That's about it."

"Well of course I'm happy!" Luna laughed at the outrageous concept of not being happy while she was as pampered as she was.

I chuckled a little too, realizing how silly my question was. "Yeah, I guess it would be kinda hard to be unhappy when you have everything you could ever want."

"Well... the castle doesn't have quite everything I want..." Luna bit her lower lip nervously.

"Oh really? Well... What do you want? Can I help you get it? Good god he's dumb. Anyone wanna just smack this guy and explain it?" A few ponies at the tables around us randomly rose their hooves. I looked around a bit in pure confusion, then turned my attention back to Luna.

"Oh, don't worry about it. I'll be getting it in a few weeks." Luna giggled and winked at me. I blushed a little bit, not quite sure how to take that.

"Oh, that's the same time I'll be moving in, right? Will I get to see whatever this is?"

Luna stopped moving altogether and just stared at me for a bit. Then she burst out into laughter, even pounding the table with her hooves a few times in her outburst. "Oh, S-Sharky, you're t-too funny!" she managed to stammer out between her laughs.

"Uhhh... thanks?" I offered my thanks weakly, completely thrown off by Luna's behavior. She was serious about me moving, then suddenly all she was doing was laughing. Earlier today she wouldn't leave my side, and now she was here making light of my serious questions. I just couldn't wrap my head around it. Then again, it seemed that lately I couldn't wrap my head around almost anything other than monster slaying.

Luna wiped her eyes with the back of her hoof as her giggles died down. "'Twas nothing, Sharky. Just giving credit where credit is due." Luna's giggles picked up a little. "If you weren't such a good hunter, I might be tempted to hire you as a jester!"

I cracked a small smile at that and decided to just shrug off my confused thoughts for now. "Heh, good one Luna." I paused for a moment and looked past her and out the window. I decided to change the subject, for some reason her rampant compliments, excessive blinking, and the fact that she was leaning back in were all making me feel a little nervous. "So, it's quite a beautiful night out there. Would you like to go out and stargaze after this?"

"Normally I'd say that I would love to, but... it's too bright around here to stargaze, you can't really see the night properly." Luna pouted just a bit.

"Well we could always go away from here. Y'know, like out of Canterlot to some place more secluded. He uhhh... dude, he has no fucking clue what that invitation just sounded like..."

Luna bit her lower lip softly as a small smile formed on her face. "You... you want to go with me, way off to some area where nopony can find us right after we had a really nice date?" a blush spread across Luna's faces when she turned her head as if to contemplate my offer. I tilted my head at her curiously. It was just stargazing, it wasn't this big a deal to think about. "I think I'll accept that offer..."

I straightened my head and beamed at her eagerly. "Great! I'm sure we'll have lots of fun! Dammit! Why does nobody listen to Steven? He has no clue what this means."

"Oh hush Steven, I'm sure we both know exactly what Sharky's thinking..."

"Uhhhh..."

Man, I sure hope Fang kinda house broke himself... I mean, what if he's been pissing all over the house and Twilight just never told me? Wait, did Luna just say something to Steven?

"You know what? Yeah, he's thinking about exactly what you think Luna, you two have fun. Luna, you shouldn't talk to Steven! He's just going to try and upset you."

Luna gave me a huge smile and I heard a slight metal clinking sound. I determined that it was coming from under the table and I looked down to see one of Luna's hooves slowly trailing up the side of my leg. "Don't worry Sharky, I won't let him ruin this for us. Hurry now! I think they're about to close this place for the night!"

I looked around, temporarily having my attention taken away from Luna's hoof. Sure enough, all the tables around us were empty. The staff was beginning to take the tablecloths away, blow out candles, etc. I guessed they just hadn't said anything to us yet because we were.... well, us. "Wow, I didn't realize we'd been here so long!" a slight metal sound brought my attention back to Luna's hoof. "Oh, and Luna? I dunno if you know this, but your hoof is kinda on my leg..."

Luna giggled and gave me a funny look. "Oops..." she giggled gently again, but despite her 'oops', the clinking noise didn't stop. I shrugged. It was probably unintentional. I turned my attention back down to my plate and wolfed down the rest of my delicious, albeit slightly cold now, food. Luna followed suit, swallowing down her entire plate of food almost faster than I could consume mine. It was kinda cool.

"Alright Luna, let's go!" I stood up when I finished my food and placed a generous amount of bits on the table. I made sure to leave a large tips since they put up with us staying after close like that.

"Yes, let's~!" Luna agreed with an almost sing-song tone. She trotted away from the table with a silly smile on her face. I chuckled a little bit as I jogged just a bit to catch up with her. We waved polite goodbyes to the staff in the front of the building, then walked away for a bit until Luna piped up again. "So... Are we... ready to go?" Luna seemed almost nervous now, surprisingly. Moments before she had been all happy and now... She was confusing me again.

"Yeah, I'm ready for it. Why, do you not want to do this or something? You sound nervous."

"N-no!" Luna protested awfully vehemently. "I assure you I am quite positive I want to do this! I can hardly wait in fact!" Luna paused for just a moment, and seemed to be contemplating what she just said. "N-not that I'm o-overly eager... that would be improper. I just believe this will be nice..."

"Oh my gosh Luna, it's just stargazing. Calm down..." I patted her back comfortingly. Luna gave me a small, almost devious smile.

"Of course... just stargazing." Luna giggled again. She seemed to be just a tad less nervous, that had to be good. "I already know the perfect spot. Now just hold still for a moment, and I'll take us there."

I nodded and tried not to flinch as Luna's horn began to glow to cast the teleportation spell. In mere seconds, we vanished in a flash of black light.

We flashed into a large, open, grassy field. Not too far from where we arrived, there was a small hill, also covered in grass. The grass almost seemed to flow in gentle waves, moved by a gentle breeze. Out here, the night sky glowed brilliantly, lit by a massive, almost orange full moon. The stars surrounding it twinkled brightly, shimmering like gems scattered across the sky. Luna began to walk towards the hill, but looked back at me and smiled happily.

"Well, is this location suitable for our... stargazing?"

I nodded silently and followed her in an almost trance-like state, completely taken in by the beauty of the night sky. Luna beat me to the top of the hill by just a few seconds, and rolled over to lay down on her back. She looked up to me with a strange gleam in her eyes.

"I'm so glad you like it. Join me?"

I nodded distractedly and laid down in the grass next to her, gently bumping against her side as I settled in. "Wow..." I murmured breathlessly. I turned my head to look at Luna with a small smile plastered on my face. "The night is so beautiful."

Luna was already looking at me, and she blushed a little bit. "Awww, such a flatterer... There's really no need to compliment me further, you've already got me here with you... all alone... in the middle of nowhere."

"Well thanks for fucking pointing out where we are, I was confused. It's not flattery Luna, I'm just giving credit where credit is due. Really, the view is breathtaking."

Luna's blush deepened and sh began to lean her head in closer to mine. "Ooooh, come here you~." Luna's hooves began to reach over to me, as if to hug me. "I've been waiting for this..."

I tilted my head and gave her a confused look, but reached out to return the hug anyway. "You've been waiting for stargazing? Like... you knew this was gonna happen?"

Luna paused for a moment. "Well, not quite like this I did not know, but I had been hoping we would get to--"

*HAAAAAAALLELUJAH!!!*

Luna and I both whipped our heads around in confusion for a few seconds until I whipped out my phone. I looked up at Luna, still confused. "I thought only you could call me!"

*HAAAAAAALLELUJAH!!!*

"Well theoretically anyone that has scanned you and can cast the spell can call you... but who could this be?"

I quickly answered the call before it could ring again and Twilight's face popped up on the screen. "Oh, hi Twilight! What's up? Somebody better be dying! You were about to interrupt somethin' real important."

"Hey Sharky! I'm sorry to interrupt you, but it's getting really late and Unity refuses to go to bed unless you tuck him in."

"Wow, really?"

"Yeah, I tried to put him to bed anyway but... Well now I'm hanging from the ceiling in what appears to be a blanket cocoon."

"Oh geez, I'll be right there." I hung up the phone and turned to Luna, who suddenly appeared to be pouting. "Hey, I gotta--"

"I heard." she interrupted with a heavy sigh. "I guess we'll have to put this off until next time. You should get home to your son."

"Yeah, thanks for understanding. Cockblocked by the kid. Heh, get used to it."

"Don't worry, I'll have you back here soon to finish what we started. Farewell for now." Luna reluctantly rolled onto her hooves and her horn began to glow. Then I vanished in a familiar flash of black light.

I popped back in to the first floor of the library, and took a few seconds to look over the huge racks of books that I was now so attached to. This was kinda my home now. It would be odd to leave it for the castle here in a few weeks. Hell, just to leave it here in a day or so to Fluttershy's house would be a little weird for me. I shook my head clear of my distracting thoughts and ran upstairs to Unity and Twilight. Sure enough, there attached to the roof was a frantically wriggling cocoon presumably containing Twilight. Unity was on the floor, looking up at her and yawning lazily. I picked him up from behind and hugged him close.

"Hey there buddy. You getting sleepy?"

"Daddy!" he cooed happily even as his eyelids struggled to remain open. I tucked him into his little basket and gave him a kiss on the forehead.

"Goodnight little buddy. I love you."

"I wuv you..." he mumbled as he quickly drifted off to sleep. I turned away from him and held my arms out as I walked towards my bed. Twilight's cocoon suddenly unraveled.

"Eeep!" she squeaked gently as she fell from the ceiling and into my arms. Without batting an eyelash, I continued on my path to the beds. I tossed Twilight down into my bed, then flopped into bed next to her after stripping off my equipment. "Oh... nice catch Sharky..."

"Heh, it was nothing."

"So, what did Luna say? I was right, wasn't I?" Twilight had a smug grin plastered across her face. I returned an equally smug grin.

"Nope, she said I was her best friend and that's it. So ha, got you."

Twilight could not have looked more confused. "What? Really? Huh... well sorry, I guess I was wrong then."

"Heh, don't beat yourself up over it. Anyone could've made a mistake like that I suppose."

"I guess... are you about to go to sleep?"

"Well I am in bed so... yeah."

"You know there are other things we can do in bed besides sleep, right?" Twilight asked coyly.

"Oh... Got something in mind?"

"Well... maybe right here isn't the best spot, but if you'll head downstairs with me..." Twilight's horn glowed and the spot that concealed the safe in the wall began to pop out.

"Nothing would make me happier."

Twilight and I soon crept down stairs. About an hour or so later, I had covered myself back up and we were asleep in each others embrace on the main room's floor.

Love you guys.

I Don't Deserve Death*

I Don't Deserve Death*

I don't cry.

It's just me, I never cry.

That doesn't stop me from wanting to. I wanted to cry, but I was so destroyed I couldn't even summon a few tears. I walked down the the plane aisle looking for my seat with a dead expression. I had booked the earliest flight back to North America at 6:00 a.m. New York, to be precise. That wasn't where I lived, but it had tall buildings...

I would kill myself when I got there, I wasn't deciding, I would. I took my seat and stared out my window with the vacant eyes of a lost soul. Normally I would be happy about getting a window seat, but due to my current situation... I wasn't. I watched all the little cars that carry around luggage drive around from plane to plane as I thought about my life. I had a great life. I was smart, VERY smart. I graduated high school at the age of 14, and went right into a swell little college in Hawaii. As a result, I never really had friends. I was either a freaky nerd to them, or never around long enough to know them. This left my social awareness... lacking. Luckily I was instructed by my parents on proper social behavior, or I might be too odd. Anyway, at 16 I got a job and eventually saved enough for the down payment for my own house, goodbye dorm room. Not that I had a problem with my roommate, in fact I would've gladly had him share the house with me.

Had he not died.

That house had been the embodiment of all my hard work, I'm gonna miss it... but not as much as him. No time to dwell on that though. Finally, something really good happend to me. I had been four years into college when she walked in my life. Both of us were studying to be marine biologists. We had started dating and kept dating for 3 years. I was in love. My parents had tried to tell me she wasn't who I thought. I didn't listen. She had shown me this cute little show called "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic". I wasn't really into it at first, but I watched it so I could be close to her. I did end up becoming a happy member of the brony community thanks to her though. I spent so much time with her I even allowed my grades to start slipping. It didn't matter to me at the time, she was the only thing that mattered. Now I see how much of a fool I had been. Eventually, she had wanted to take our relationship to the "next level", but I refused because I had promised my parents I'd be abstinent.

Oh my gosh... My parents... I silently reminded myself. I hadn't even thought about them. Now the tears flowed freely as I mourned their deaths. Then I became angry. It wasn't fair that this all happened to me! Suddenly, I heard yelling at the front of the plane and looked up. A look of pure terror replaced my angry expression. I didn't know why and I didn't know how, but at the front of the plane was a man with a bomb strapped to his chest. Everyone was screaming bloody murder and praying like there wouldn't be a tomorrow. Which actually there might not be. I resisted the urge to slap the guy in front of me yelling, 'REPENT, REPENT!!!' Then the man with the bomb pulled out a gun too. A calmer part of my mind wondered how far airport security's thumbs were up their asses. He waved the gun around and everyone shut up really fast.

"Nobody move!" He screamed. I felt the anger return as I thought about how everyone here would be missed if they died. Everyone but me, because I had no one left. My parents and I were all only children and my grandparents had died while I was young. Knowing I was the only one with nothing to lose, I stood up to confront him. I rushed him and tried to knock him over and... I don't know. I never got close. He didn't look at me, but chose that moment to detonate himself. The last things I saw were two bright flashes.

Two? I questioned myself as I felt the explosion reach me.

I groaned in pain with my eyes still closed. I...I survived? I questioned myself. If I did, I was only barely hanging on. My whole body throbbed in pain, at least the parts of it I could still feel did anyway. Great, I inwardly groaned, I can't even DIE! My breath came in short ragged gasps and I opened my eyes to see if there was an explanation to my survival. I looked down and checked my body first. I saw that I was severly bruised and burned. Not to mention the fact that my arms were covered in gashes. Not able to determine anything from my injuries, I turned to my surroundings. I looked around and saw tons of books and everything around seemed to be made out of wood. Then I felt something on my brow. Breath. I looked up and looked right into the biggest pair of eyes I'd ever seen. They looked oddly familiar, and were purple. Wait, purple? I asked myself.

"W...w...who a..are..." I tried to ask as a huge wave of nausea and diziness washed over me. The eyes backed away very quickly and were revealed to be attached to a small, lavender horse.

"He...hello?" she asked. I faded into unconciousness.

New Year's party!

"--and thats how equestria was founded!" Twilight finished. For the past 2 hours while we waited I had asked Twilight and Sweetiebelle to tell me as much about Equestria as she could. Twilight knew a LOT, but Sweetiebelle only could tell me a few things. Twilight had told me about every celebration from now to Hearth's Warming. I thought it would be boring listening to all the stories I already knew, but they could really tell a story! I didn't learn anything new, but at least now I could guard my words less.

"Finished!~" Rarity sang from the sewing machine. She trotted over to me and magically handed me my new pants. They were blue, and felt like denim, but were soft like a cloud. I put them on and they fit great.

"Thanks Rarity!" I bent down and hugged her. "These are really great!" She hugged me back.

"No problem dear! Anything for my friends!" I released her and stood back up. I slipped the ring in my pocket, but then pulled it back out and squatted down next to Rarity again.

"Now I know you don't want payment, but I wanna give you this to make us even." I said while holding out the little ring.

"Ooooh~ Is that a White diamond?!" She squealed. "I've found so many gems, but White diamonds are so rare around here!" I was a little confused at first, but then I thought back to the show and realized that every gem I'd seen had some sort of color to it.

"Yes, and I want you to have it, I won't be needing it anymore anyway." I said a little ruefully. Luckily, nopony notice my sad tone.

"Oh thank you dear!" She squealed again. "Wherever did you get this?!"

"It was a gift from my grandmother. She told me I'd know when to use it..." Apparently I hadn't. She looked like she was going to give it back after I told her that. "Don't even think about giving it back Rarity, I don't want it." It brings back bad memories... I thought to myself.

"Oh... If you insist dear!" She trotted into another room happily.

"Wait, Rarity!" I yelled. She poked her head around the corner. "Can I stay here until the party starts? I don't want anypony freaking out when they see me. Something tells me that if I show up after they drink a little they might be more able to accept me." Rarity laughed at that.

"Sure darling! Oh dear It's already lunch time!" My stomach growled. I suddenly realized I hadn't eaten (that I know of) in three days! Sometime soon I'm gonna have to sit down and think about everything that way stuff won't suprise me when I finally think about it. "I suppose I'll just whip something up for us!" Rarity then ducked her head back around the corner.

"No Rarity, let me cook!" I shouted after her. She peered around the corner again with a confused look.

"You cook?"

"Yeah I cook! Pretty well if I do say so myself. I studied culinary arts along with Marine Biology just in case I didn't succed with the latter." I stated proudly. What can I say? I'm a man of many talents.

"Superb! Come with me then dearie!" I followed after her as she disappeared around the corner again. Twilight and Sweetiebelle trotted after me. We entered a kitchen and Rarity pointed at a fridge. (I know. Fridge, sewing machine but electricity is never mentioned in the show! Weird huh?) "Use whatever you like. There's not much there though, I'm supposed to go shopping soon." With that she took the ring and entered another room directly across from where we just entered. I walked over to the fridge and opened it. I examined the contents, and Rarity was right, there wasn't much. I found half a jug of milk, a half dozen eggs (I guess it's ok to eat eggs here.), a head of lettuce, 2 tomatoes, and some butter. On the counters there were a bunch of apples, oranges, grapes, and a melon. I began to think. It wasn't exactaly gourmet ingredients, but I could work a few things out. I washed my hands and took out the lettuce and tomatoes. I washed them then cut them up. I threw them in a bowl together and tossed the salad. Then I did the same with a few of each of the fruits and some of the melon and made fruit salad. I then looked upon my creations and saw that they were good, (ha ha, I'm so weird.) but not great. I wanted to do something a little more special. I searched a few cabinets and found some flour and milk chocolates.

Score! I thought to myself. I threw some eggs, milk, and flour together in a bowl and mixed them into a batter. I then buttered a pan and set it on a burner. (Yep. they got stoves too.) I made a few crepes and rolled up some of the chocolate in them. Twilight and Sweetiebelle had been watching me the whole time, and looked confused when they saw the crepes. (Darn me not having the proper key to put an accent over the e!) I then set a table in the middle of the kitchen and placed little bowls of both salads at each spot. I left the crepes on plates on the counter for later. "Rarity! Time to eat!" I yelled at the door she had disappeared behind. She came out and looked at the table.

"Oh what lovely-looking little salads!" She gushed. I rolled my eyes.

"They aren't that great." I said. "I wish I could do more with what I had..."

"Nonsense Sharky, these look yummy!" Twilight exclaimed. We all took a seat and dug into our food. The others looked pleased, but I still wished I could've done more than salad as a main(mane?) course. We all finished off our bowls, and all the girls got seconds. After they finished off the salads I wrapped up what was left of the melon and the lettuce and passed out the crepes. At this point Twilight and Sweetiebelle looked skeptical, but Rarity looked ecstatic!

"Oh la la, prench cuisine! I haven't seen crepes in ages!" She gushed. She lifted it carefully, then ate it quickly. Some how she didn't drop a single crumb the entire time, despite the speed at which she ate. "Scrumptious!" She declared as she finished it off. After seeing Rarity eat hers, the other two girls attacked their crepes with gusto as well.

"Mmmmm, yummy!" Sweetiebelle said.

"Wow Sharky, how do you know how to cook prench food?" Twilight asked. I laughed.

"What is prench? This is French food ladies." Twilight thought for a moment.

"Maybe french for you is prench for us?" She suggested.

"Makes about as much sense as everything else here... Anyway, it's really a simple recipe, and I learned it in french class while in high school." They all nodded in understanding.

"So you speak prench too?" Rarity asked.

"Oui, je parle... Prancais?"(Yes, I speak...Prench?) Rarity squealed a little.

"Fantastic darling! I've been getting some orders from some canadian ponies that don't speak english for forever! Would you mind translating for me?"

"Not at all! It would be my pleasure. Where are the documents?" Rarity led me to the room she had vanished into earlier. Twilight and Sweetiebelle were still following me. When we got into the room, I saw that it was full of file cabinets. She looked into a file marked "Prench Orders" and levitated a few of the papers to me. I spent the next three hours translating the orders for Rarity. At about an hour in Sweetiebelle went to play with her friends. I had been worried it would be significantly different from what I knew, but it was almost the exact same! After I finished the translations we heard a knock at the door. I stayed where I was, but Rarity left the room to answer the door. Somehow during my translating Twilight and Rarity had managed to sit on either side of me in the same chair, so when she left my side felt very cold. I stroked Twilight's mane absentmindedly as we waited for Rarity to come back.

"Oh hi Rarity... Is Sharky still here? I wanted to talk to him. If he doesn't mind that is...." Came a small voice for the front door.

"Fluttershy!" I yelled happily. I stood up and walked towards the door, which caused Twilight to fall over because I wasn't supporting her any more.

"Whoa!" She yelped as she fell over. I shot her an apologetic look and continued towards Fluttershy's voice.

"Hi Fluttershy!" I came around the corner and greeted the little yellow pegasus. "What did you want to talk about?"

"Oh...um...You know about the New Year's party...Right?" She asked.

"Yeah, Rarity just explained it a little while ago."

"Oh good...Well I was wondering...Would you maybe go with me? If you don't mind that is...It's just that you're the only other animal lover I've met, and I wanted to get to know you better..." She said just above a whisper.

"I don't see why not!" I said with a grin. Then a very angry sounding voice from behind me.

"Because you're going with me already! That's why not!" Wow. She looked PISSED.

"Am I only allowed to go with one friend?" I asked sincerely. Twilight seemed to calm down.

"Well no, I just kinda thought--"

"Then it's settled!" I proclaimed. "The three of us can go together!" Fluttershy lit up.

"Yay!" (OHMYGOSH SHE SAID IT!) Twilight didn't look as excited as Fluttershy, but she didn't complain.

"Well, as long as we're taking multiple friends, can I tag along too?" Asked Rarity. I smiled.

"Of course, The more the merrier!" Rarity smiled warmly at me, but Twilight was giving me a death stare,

"What's wrong Twilight?" I asked. She turned her head and muttered.

"Nothing..."

We all just chatted at the boutique for a while to pass time. Rarity was full of questions about fashion in my world and my acting career. (which I tried to tell her I wasn't very good, but she didn't believe me either.) Fluttershy and I talked about animals for a long time too. Twilight was sitting next to me fumming for a while, but she joined in the conversation eventually. Sweetiebelle came home, valiantly attempting to stay awake, but she fell asleep within a few minutes. I carried her up to her bed and tucked her in. After that we waited until about 11 o' clock to leave for the party. When we showed up at the town square, it looked like I had been right. The ponies weren't hammered, but they had drank enough to keep staring to a minimum. Except for this one mint green unicorn who was pointing at me and doing a victory dance. I'm pretty sure she was drunk as sokka after drinking the cactus juice. (It'll be fun seeing how many people get that refrence.) We made our way through the crowd to the punch bowl. We all had a few cups of it, but it just tasted like apple soda to me. The girls however, were becoming tipsy rather quickly.

"He-hey Fluttershy. Y'know yer my best pal right?" Rarity said drunkenly.

"Teehee... yeah Rarity. You're my best friend too..." Fluttershy seemed a lot less timid while tipsy.

"Hey Ssssharky..." Twilight slurred. "I never got ta say thanks for carrying me today..." I waited for her to continue.

".....And?" Twilight looked confused for a second. Then she remmbered.

"Oh yeah, Thaankss... You have nice pants..." She was rubbing the leg of my pants with one hoof.

"Y-yer right Twilight, I did a good job..." Rarity was now rubbing my leg too.

"I-I wanna feeeel!" Fluttershy said as she joined them. My face was getting very red. I jumped out of their reach.

"G-girls! What are you doing?!" I shouted. They all seemed oblivious to my reaction.

"We were just sayin we like yer pants Sharky." Twilight said. I tried to calm down.

It's not like they're even attracted to you Sharky, calm down! I thought to myself. I corraled the girls and we made our way to a nice little cliff overlooking part of the town. It was only like 40 feet tall and a minute away from the square, so we could still hear the party. We all sat down and looked at the night sky. The countdown started behind us.

"5..."

"Heey Sharkyyy...?" Twilight slurred.

"4..."

"Yes Twilight?" I answered.

"3..."

"I gotta tell you somethin'."

"2..."

"Fire away."

"1..." At the chant of one Twilight suddenly lurched forward and fell off the cliff.

Fool Me Once...

To make up for the shortness of the last chapter, here's another one!

"Sharky..."

"Hmm...?"

"Why do you like me back all of the sudden?" She asked between the kisses.

"Does it matter?" He asked with a smile.

"Well... I was being rather obvious about it for awhile, so why did you just now act?"

"Well, to be honest, I knew you liked me the whole time, I was just... too shy to act on my feelings I guess..."

"What made today different?" He smiled.

"I finally worked up the courage to make a move on the most beautiful mare ever."

"Awwwww..." She said happily. They started kissing again. They kissed for quite some time, until they were interrupted by a scratching sound at the door. Twilight leaped out of Sharky's embrace, blushing bright red.

"Oh... uh I'll uh... get the door then..." She mumbled. Sharky gave her another sly smile.

"Hurry back..." He whispered. Twilight's blush deepened and she trotted to the door. She opened it and Fang flew in, barking like a mad dog. He looked at Sharky and his barking stopped. He jumped towards Sharky happily, but when he got to Sharky he began sniffing him thoroughly. Fang scrunched up his face like he'd eaten something sour. Sharky didn't move to pet him or interact with him in any way. Fang finished sniffing him, then promptly bit down on his hand. Hard.

"OW!!!" Sharky screamed. He started slapping Fang and pulling his hand away, but the wolf refused to let go. Twilight magically levitated him away, but the wolf pulled Sharky's hand with him, growling and refusing to let go. Twilight released her magic grip on Sharky and he slammed his hand into the floor, knocking Fang out. Twilight gasped.

"SHARKY!?" Sharky grimaced and gave her an apologetic look.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know what else to do..." He sighed and looked at the limp body of the wolf. "I guess you were right about the danger..." Twilight calmed herself. It didn't seem like Sharky to smash a puppy in the floor, but it was self-defense. That made it ok... Right?

"I-it's... okay, you just suprised me is all..." She muttered cautiously. Sharky flinched.

"You don't like me after seeing that, do you?" He said sadly. Twilight flinched right back.

"No, I do like you! I just... didn't expect that sort of thing from you...." She shouted. Sharky looked down at his feet.

"You're right... I'm sorry..." He looked back up to her. "Why don't you go find out how he got away from Spike, I'll... take him away from here..." He said, sadly indicating his wolf. Twilight nodded and turned to leave. As the door closed behind her Sharky's face contorted into an evil scowl. "Blasted mongrel!" He shouted as he stood and kicked Fang's limp form. "I'll just put you with the rest of the trash!" He lifted Fang by the tail and carried him upstairs. He climbed up further into the tree and found the spot he had been looking for. It was a little hard-to-find closet in the top floor of the library. He opened the door to reveal a tied-up version of himself, still out cold. "Sleep tight..." He snickered as he tossed the wolf's body in the closet with himself. He shut the door and walked downstairs.

I woke up, still completely exhausted. I felt a little stiff, so I stretched my limbs. I then realized I was tied up.

Oh, I get it, this is another one of those dreams where... I started thinking happily, then I saw my beaten pet.

"FANG!" I tried to scream, but there was a gag over my mouth, so it came out as a very quiet "mmmmmmmmf"

NO! Why would somepony beat Fang?! I questioned mentally, totally not concerned about why I was tied up. I was laying on my side a short distance from his still body. I rolled myself closer to him to see how damaged he was. He wasn't bleeding, but he looked battered and hurt greatly. I couldn't tell from looking at him, but I guessed some of his ribs were broken. I got mad. Whoever did this to Fang will PAY! I raged inwardly. I did my best to wrap my body around him protectively, and tried to think of a way out of... wherever I was.

"Twilight! Back already?" Sharky asked. Twilight smiled.

"Yeah, Spike was playing hide and seek with Fang when he took off, that's why he didn't catch him." Twilight gave Sharky a shy smile. "I told him it'd be ok if he went to Rarity's. Now that all our problems are solved I was hoping..." Sharky grinned from ear to ear.

"Say no more!" He sat down and Twilight jumped into his embrace again. They continued to kiss. After a little while however, Sharky became more... aggresive with his actions. Twilight was enjoying herself for the most part, but he was being rough, pushing to hard, hugging her too close... Twilight didn't really mind, but Sharky had never once been rough with her... well, except the times he did it on accident. Sure, he had also never reacted to her advances, but him understanding suddenly wasn't that outlandish. Him being rough with her... that was just something he didn't do. She pulled her head away from him and looked at his face. He frowned. "Is something wrong?" He asked.

"You... you just are being a little... tough with me... are you ok?" He sighed and his eyes darted around the room.

"I-I'm just... a little upset about Fang..." He lied. Twilight gave him an understanding look.

"Oh you poor thing!" She gushed. "You really liked him, huh?" He nodded sadly.

"Well, if you really want to, Fluttershy should be back from the spa by now... you could tell her what happened and get a new pet..." Twilight offered. Sharky grinned again.

"Good idea!" He kissed her quickly on the lips. (I refuse to call them a muzzle.) "You're the best!" He placed her on the ground and took off out the door. As soon as he was gone she looked around to make sure nopony was watching, then she started bouncing around in a circle singing:

"He likes me! He likes me! He likes me!"

Rainbow Dash sat on her cloud, scanning the area for Sharky. She hadn't gotten to talk to him at all the past few days, and it was starting to bug her for some reason. Sharky walked down the path to Fluttershy's house, and Rainbow Dash could see that he was making sure to take his time. On his way there, he was aimed at by a certain multi-hued mare. She jumped off her cloud and angled herself towards him.

"Heeeey! Sharky!" She yelled as she flew down from the clouds. He turned and looked up as she crashed into his stomach.

"OOF!" The wind was knocked out of him as he fell on his back.

"Oops, forgot to slow down..." Rainbow Dash mumbled.

"Really? I never would have guessed." Sharky said sarcastically. Rainbow Dash blushed.

"Heh heh, sorry..." She was standing on Sharky's chest. "Anyway... I've been looking for you for like, forever, where have you been?"

"Here, there, everywhere. Could you stop standing on me?" He said in an annoyed tone. Rainbow Dash blushed deeper and jumped off of him. "Anyway, why were you looking for me?" He sat up.

"Well... we never really got to talk after the race... I just wanted to see you. After all, you are the only pony to ever beat me in a race, and you beat a manticore!! That makes you... pretty awesome." She said somewhat shyly. Sharky got an evil grin, but hid it quickly.

"I'm awesome huh?" He said mischeviously. "Well, what did you want to talk about?"

"Umm... well actually, I wanted to ask you something..." She mumbled.

"Oh, and what's that?" He asked expectantly.

"Well..." She cleared her throat. "*ehm* Well like I said, you're pretty awesome and I wanna go to dinner with you." She said quickly.

"What was that? Slow down." Sharky said with an evil smirk.

"Will you go to dinner with me?" She asked shyly. Sharky smiled, then laughed. Hard.

"BWAHAHAHA!!! Me? Go to dinner with YOU?" He laughed. "That's ridiculous, you're not cool enough to date me!"

"W-what?!" Rainbow Dash asked in shock. He hadn't ever been this mean the other times she'd seen him! In fact, she had thought he was really nice!

"READ MY LIPS!! YOU. ARE . LAME. I wouldn't date you if you were the last mare alive!" He yelled in her face.

"Y-you w-why but..." She stuttered out. She was tearing up. Sharky dove in for the verbal kill.

"YOU ARE LAME! YOU CAN'T EVEN MAKE THE WONDERBOLTS NOTICE YOU! GET OUT OF HERE!!!" He screamed in her face. Rainbow Dash broke out into tears and flew away. Sharky laughed to himself. "Mwahahaha... This is the most fun I've ever had!" His face twisted into an evil grin and he continued laughing at Rainbow Dash until she was out of sight. He continued his evil laugh as he turned to walk to Fluttershy's house.

"Mmmmff! Mmmmff! MMMMFF!!!" I tried yelling through my gag, but the sound was barely even audible to me. Fang still hadn't woken up, so I was still alone. In the dark. Twilight's magic had worn off before I had woken up, so I had no way out of here. I was freaking out on the inside, but I was trying not to move too much that way I was still curled around Fang. I was really starting to lose it now though, and I tried struggling against my bonds for the 200th time, knowing it was useless. My wrist slid around in the rope it was tied in. I froze. My wrists had been tied so tightly the circulation had been cut off. Why were they loose now? My eyes moved down to Fang. I gave a wolfish grin behind my gag. Perfect.

"Ok Applejack, Wilona is feeling just fine now." Fluttershy told her friend.

"Well thank ya Fluttershy!" Applejack crowed as Wilona jumped up on her and started licking her face. The sight reminded Fluttershy of somepony that had been on her mind a lot lately. She still couldn't believe she had yelled at Twilight over him. She felt really bad for it, but she didn't feel like it was the wrong choice either. He was always so nice, and he liked animals too! Plus, even though he wasn't a pony, Fluttershy still thought he looked... nice. "Thanks fer dealin' with this so soon after your spa day!

"Applejack... Can I tell you something? If you don't mind..."

"Sure sugacube."

"Ummm... will you promise not to tell anypony?"

"Ah sure will promise!" She said happily. Her dog was better, which always put her in a good mood.

"I... I like somepony..."

"Really? Now who would that be?" She asked intently, focused on Fluttershy.

"Sharky..." Fluttershy muttered. She was blushing.

"Y-ya don't say..." Applejack stuttered. 2 of her friends? This can't be good. Fluttershy picked up on Applejack's nervousness.

"Applejack? What's wrong? It's bad that I like Sharky isn't it?... I'm sorry..."

"No sugarcube, it's nothin' like that. It's fine fer you ta like Sharky."

I just don't know how she's gonna compete with Twilight... Applejack thought to herself. Ah mean, she so frail... if Sharky doesn't like her back... She didn't even finish her thought. Fluttershy's sigh of relief took her back to reality.

"Oh good. I was worried it was bad for me to like him..." She mumbled.

"Nah there's nothin wrong with likin' him. He's nice and strong and--" Fluttershy narrowed her eyes and her wings flared out.

"You like him too?" She said it like it was a threat.

"N-naw, Ah was just sayin' it's ok fer you ta like him..." Applejack stuttered. Fluttershy calmed down and folded her wings back up.

"Oh... I'm sorry... I didn't mean to scare you..."

"I-it's fine sugarcube." Applejack regained her composure and started walking to the door. "If I were you, I'd tell Sharky about this." She opened the door and ran right into Sharky's leg.

"Tell me what Applejack?"

Because Sharky and I are, for all intents and purposes, the same person, I tend to feel what he feels when I write. As such, I am now extremely pissed off, and have to play a game where I shoot peolpe to make myself feel better.

Return

We arrived in Twilight's library in a flash of light. I looked around for a second for a place to put Unity so that I could run off into the forest and kill whatever was threatening Ponyville. I'm a great dad.

"Twilight? Could you hold Unity for a second?" I asked the lavender mare. Twilight wrapped her aura around Unity and lifted him out of my arms.

"Sure thing Sharky, but why?" Twilight asked.

"So that he's safe and you can't stop me from running off into the forest to fight the monster. Byeeeee!" I said as I ran out the door, Fang already hot on my heels.

"HEY!" Twilight yelled. I slammed the door behind me and took off towards the forest.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY ALREADY LEFT?!" Stormy yelled at the guard he'd been talking to.

"Your friends left earlier today sir." The guard explained calmly.

"YOU BASTARDS!" Stormy yelled out angrily. He ran out the nearst window, and took off into the morning sky.

"I wonder if he knows the Princesses can teleport him..." The guard wondered to himself.

"GAHH! I CAN'T BELIEVE I FELL FOR THAT!" Twilight yelled out angrily.

"Don't worry, I'll get him!" Rainbow Dash offered. Rainbow Dash started running towards the door, but Applejack caught her before she got there.

"Now just hold on a minute Sugarcube, yer wings don't even work, how ya gonna catch him?" Applejack asked. Rainbow Dash turned her head to look at her bound wings, then hung her head in defeat.

"You're right Applejack..." RD muttered sadly. "Why does he keep DOING that?!" She asked angrily.

"Well iffn ya ask me, he's doin the right thing. You girls need to quit yer worryin' and just let him do this." Applejack offered. Then she turned to Shadow. "Now, you come with me. Ah need ta introduce y'all to mah family." Applejack ordered. Shadow nodded obediently, and they both left the building.

"I-I think she's right..." Fluttershy said.

"Well, I've got to get to Sugarcube Corner! The Cakes are going to be so far behind! I gotta tell them Sharky's busy too. I'm sure they won't mind him being busy with him being a Knight and all, and beside--" Pinkie's voice faded as she left the library.

"I think so too..." Twilight said, totally ignoring Pinkie Pie's comment. "Gah... what are we going to do?! He's more likely to die on one of these crazy missions then he is to like one of us..." Twilight said sadly. Unity heard her sad tone, and reached out to touch her cheek. Twilight looked at him, hovering by her right side, patting her cheek. She smiled.

"Well, I don't know what you girls are gonna do with him," RD interrupted. "but I'm gonna take him to dinner. I gotta go set things up. Bye!" She said happily. Twilight rolled her eyes and looked back to Unity.

"Well, you are a cute little one, huh?" Twilight said to him. He giggled happily.

"Y-yeah... he is really cute..." Fluttershy agreed. She looked to Twilight. "Umm... Sharky asked me... to help take care of Unity... too..." She mumbled slowly. Twilight's smile slowly disappeared and was replaced by a small scowl.

"HE DID WHAT?!"

I had a good pace going towards the forest, and it only took me about 10 minutes to run to the outskirts of it. I hadn't noticed it before, but these pants were really warm. My upper body was cold, but the cloth was helping a little. I stared up at the branches of the trees at the edges of the forest. They looked... menacing to say the least. Luckily, I'm not afraid of trees. I ran right in, I searched around carefully, looking for signs of dragon prints or dead animals. I didn't really see much, I was new at this whole tracking thing after all. Then I came across something strange. I was really deep into Everfree forest, but for some reason, I found hoof prints.

What the... a pony all the way out here? I thought to myself. I hunched over to look at them. Then I heard a snarling sound, and I turned around to find the source. Right as I turned, a Timber Wolf had jumped at me, and was only a few inches away from my neck. My life flashed before my eyes, and time seemed to stand still. I closed my eyes and tried to move out of the way, knowing I'd never make it in time.

..............Ok, what the hell? I opened my eyes, and looked around. The Timber Wolf was gone. I looked around in confusion, and I saw Fang nonchalantly rip the Timber Wolf's throat out a few feet away from me. Sap sprayed everywhere, and the Timber Wolf shuddered a few times as it died. Fang trotted over to me happily.

"Uh... Good boy..." I said in amazement. BEST. PET. EVER. Fang wagged his tail, and sat next to me. "God I'm sick of Timber Wolves..." I muttered to myself. I turned my attention back to the hoofprints.

"Umm... Pinkie? Why are you repeatedly kicking the counter?" Mr. Cake asked. Pinkie shrugged.

"My Pinkie sense is going off, but this is a new one! I don't know what's going on!" She answered. "It has happened a few times now, but I don't know why!" Mr. Cake rubbed his jaw with his hoof. He shrugged and went back to work.

I tried to at least figure out which way the prints were headed, but I couldn't figure it out. I sighed.

"Fang, do you think you can track this scent?" I asked him. I pointed to the hoof prints. He stood up and sniffed them. He looked back to me and nodded once. I grinned back. "You are so cool. Lead the way boy!" I called to him. He took off further into the forest, following the prints. I rushed after him.

"He said you had the magic to help keep him under control, but that Unity would need my kindness..." Fluttershy explained. Twilight flinched.

"Does he think I'm not kind enough? I can be kind..." Twilight mumbled.

"Oh no! I'm sure it's not that. He just knows I work with little ones problably..." Fluttershy consoled. Twilight sniffled and looked up at her.

"You're right... It's just... when he asked me... I felt special... like he cared about me... I guess not..." Twilight said sadly. Fluttershy flinched.

"Y-you are special Twilight!" Fluttershy consoled her.

"I mean special to him!" Twilight shouted. "I thought for a moment that I might mean more to him than just a friend..."

"Y-you... Y-y-you..." Fluttershy sighed. "Y-you're r-right... Maybe he won't ever like us..." Fluttershy admitted sadly. Unity looked up at the two sad mares. He didn't know what was wrong, but he could feel their sadness. He started to cry.

"Oh no! It's okay Unity... It's okay..." Twilight consoled. The cries weren't sonic this time, but it hurt almost as bad just to see him so upset. She tried to pat him on the back, but as soon as she touched him, she fell asleep. Her aura faded from around Unity, and Fluttershy rushed to catch him before he hit the ground. She caught him, but didn't fall asleep herself. Unity was no longer crying, and when Fluttershy looked up at him, he was smiling at Twilight.

"W-what d-did you d-d-do?" Fluttershy asked him. He gurgled and grabbed one of his feet with his lion paw. "Awww..."

We crossed an empty clearing, empty because it had all burnt to the ground. I couldn't see tracks anymore, and Fang lost the scent among the ash. I sighed.

"So what do we do now Fang?" I asked him. He looked up at me and started panting. "Right, you're still just a wolf..." I mumbled to myself. I scanned the little clearing, looking for any sign of the direction the pony went. Then, I spotted something in the middled of the clearing. "Huh, what's that?" I asked myself. I started walking towards it, when all of the sudden I realized what it was. "Holy crap, it's the pony! Come on Fang!" I shouted. We started running towards it. When I got closer, the finer details of the pony came into focus. He had a black coat. He had a short black mane with red streaks through it. He was huddled on his side, but I could still see that he looked taller then the average pony. I couldn't see his cutie mark very clearly, it just looked like a white blotch. As I got even closer though, something started to seem off. The pony didn't look... right somehow. I couldn't figure it out exactly. I shook my head clear of doubt, and ran to the downed pony. I squatted down next to it, and started shaking it.

"Hey! HEY! Are you alright?" I asked. The pony's eyes didn't open. "Look, there's a monster on the loose! You gotta get out of here!" The pony laughed.

"Oh, what kind of monster? Lemme guess, dragon-like, breathes fire, hunts animals?" It's voices was that of a stallion. It sounded distorted somehow, like he was talking with something in his mouth.

"Actually yes. Have you seen it? I was sent out here to hunt it down. It didn't attack you did it?" I asked as I started checking him for injuries. He growled at me, and shot the wing he wasn't laying on out to it's full length. I gasped and fell backward. It was a dragon wing.

"GAH where am I?" Twilight asked herself. She had somehow appeared in an empty space after touching Unity. There was nothing but blackness everywhere. Twilight was starting to worry. "What happened to me?" She asked the empty space for the 15th time. She sighed. "I wish my friends were here..." As soon as she uttered those words, images of her friends started flashing in front of her. The moment Unity met Sharky popped up. Then the moment Fluttershy first held him. Then the moment Pinkie first bounced up to him to see him. All Unity's memories of her friends flashed by. In an instant. "Wh-what?" Twilight asked as the images faded. She felt a tug, like somepony was pulling on her back. She began to drift backwards.

"Twilight?" A voice called. It sounded distant. "Twilight!" The voice called again. It sounded like Fluttershy. "TWILIGHT!!!" Twilight snapped her eyes open.

"Hmm?" Twilight groaned.

"Oh good, you're ok... You are ok right?" Fluttershy asked. Twilight stretched out her limbs.

"Yeah, I think I'm fine..." Twilight groaned as she rolled to her hooves.

"What happened?" Fluttershy asked with concern.

"I... honestly don't know..." Twilight answered.

"W-what?" I stuttered. The pony opened his eye, and it was red as blood. The pupil was a slit, like Nightmare Moon"s eyes. I took a closer look at the mark on his flank, and it was really a pattern of light green scales. "Y-you..."

"Are the monster you were hunting? Most likely. Now, I've heard all the heroic lines before, so get right to the part where you try to kill me." He said. He sounded extremely sad.

"W-why would I do that?" I asked. He jumped.

"B-because I'm the monster?" He asked hesitantly.

"You don't look like a monster to me." I answered. "I'm more the monster than you." He took a look at me.

"Y-you are strange... I'll give you that... but... Luna sent you after me yes?" He asked as he pointed to my hip.

"Well, yes, but you aren't a monster." I responded calmly. He stared at me intently.

"How do you know? I burn down forests! I kill animals!" He said angrily. "All excuses that other hunters have used to attack me!"

"Yes, but I'm no other hunter." I said. I smiled at him. "And there's no way you're a monster."

"H-h-h... What make you say that?" He asked. I smiled.

"Simple, if you were, Fang would be attacking you. He's good at that." I said, pointing to my wolf. The strange pony looked at my wolf cautiously, then back to me. His face slowly changed from a scowl, to an expression of pure sadness.

"Y-you really don't want to attack me?" He asked. I smiled and shook my head no. Tears formed in his eyes, and he fell down next to me. "Thank you! I can't tell you how many times I've had to fight.... I'm only trying to mind my own business... I don't like hurting anypony..."

"Well, why do they attack you in the first place?" I asked. He sighed.

"I'm not normal." He said sadly. "I grew up in a small town a long way away from here. I grew up like any other foal, but my dad was never around for some reason. On my 5th birthday, I woke up looking like this, and I knew why. I tried to act normal, but whenever anypony saw me, they called for help or attacked me. After awhile, I got tired of running away from them, and I fought back. I hate myself for it... I came here hoping I could hide forever. I want friends... but nopony will talk to me..."

"Then why don't you just leave the forest and introduce yourself?" I asked. He looked up at me in surprise.

"Are you kidding?! I've been watching this town for awhile... They'd never accept a beast like me..." He murmured sadly.

"Well, they accepted a beast like me! I'm sure you will be even easier than that!" I said cheerily. He looked up at me in confusion.

"You live there?!" He asked.

"Eeyup. Now let's see if you can too."

Minor Wounds

"Sharky! Are you ok?" Steel asked with concern. I stood up and shook off the debris from the wall I crashed through.

"I just got bitch-slapped through a house. What do you think?" I turned to the couple of ponies cowering under a table. "Sorry to barge in like this, just trying to kill and Ursa Minor out there." They nodded fearfully. The Ursa Minor roared outside.

"Sharky, you can't hit that thing!"

"Yeah, I noticed. Why not?"

"Legend says that Constellation monsters can only be struck by legendary weapons, or magic."

"So wait, the weapon has to be legendary, but the magic works anyway?"

"Yeah, thats about right."

"That seems... totally unfair. Well, maybe I can't hit him now, but after I absorb him I'll be fine!"

"After you what?" I dashed back outside. Luckily my injuries were minimal. He only really hit me through a very thin wall. My injuries were just a few splinters and severe bruising. The Ursa Minor was holding a pony up over his mouth.

"HEY! BITCH!" I yelled. The Ursa Minor turned to me. "Ha! He responded to bitch!" He dropped the pony and stomped over to me. The pony scampered off. "COME ON! HIT ME!" I challenged. He growled and swung at me again. This time I brought my axe down on his paw as it approached. It passed right through again, and his paw struck me. I braced for the impact, and ended up only sliding back about twenty feet instead of flying through a hose. "STILL OW!" I had a few more scrapes from that hit, but not much more. I reached out with the void to get his magic, but his magic was almost like Luna's. I couldn't take it without extreme pain. Besides, the magic felt... hostile.

"WHY ARE YOU STILL TRYING TO FIGHT IT?!" Steel called. He was flying overhead.

"Because ponies lives are at stake!"

"SO IS YOURS!"

"Worth it! You don't happen to have a legendary weapon or a unicorn on hoof do you?"

"ARE YOU INSANE?!"

"YES! Back to work! Maybe if we can't kill him, we can lead him away from the city!"

"THAT IS FREAKING IN-- Actually not a bad idea.... LETS DO IT!" Steel flew at the Ursa, passing just over it's head. It roared and swung at him. I grimaced as I got back to my feet. I ran at the Ursa as well.

"C'mon fatty! Follow the human!" I yelled at him.

"No! Follow the birdie!"

"C'mon! Down here buddy!" The Ursa growled and slowly trudged after us as we dodged his swings.

"Yea, he did!" Fluttershy said happily.

"No fair! I can't even get him to stay in the bed!" RD wailed.

"Me either! The one time he woke up AFTER me was when I slept next to him after he fell asleep!" Twilight groaned.

"At least you two got that far! I can barely get him to talk to me unless it's for clothing!"

"Ha! I guess that means I'm winning!"

"Don't be so sure Fluttershy, I found out that he... has... well yeah... with me in his dreams! Remember?"

"Twilight! How do you know?! It's not like you can see his dreams!" RD challenged. Twilight blushed and looked down at her hooves.

"Well I mayyyy have read his mind while he was asleep..."

Twilight!! How rude!" Rarity balked. "Why would you do such an invasive thing!?"

"Well... I wasn't sure if he could ever like us, so I had to check..."

"Well, what did you find out?" RD asked.

"He likes us, but he doesn't think any of us will ever like him back!"

"WHAT?! HOW COULD HE NOT KNOW THAT?!" RD and Rarity yelled.

"I honestly don't know! It means that there's still hope though!"

"Well, assuming he come back that is..." Rarity said darkly.

"Rarity! Don't say stuff like that! Sharky's too bad-flank to get beat by any monster!"

"OH GOD I'M GETTING THE CRAP BEAT OUT OF ME BY THIS MONSTER!" The Ursa had caught me and was stomping on me. "GOD THIS HURTS!" His stomps were really heavy, but luckily he was mostly stomping on my lower body, so my armor was taking most of the damage.

*STOMP*

"OH GOD PLEASE!"

*STOMP*

"WHY IS THIS STILL HAPPENING?!"

*STOMP*

"GOD THOSE WERE MY RIBS!" The Ursa reared back for one final smash, and I rolled painfully out of the way.

"ARE YOU OK!?"

"WHERE THE F*** WERE YOU WHILE I WAS BEING STOMPED?!"

"I was calling the Princess with your little magic mirror!"

"When did you even get that?! CRAP! PAW!" I jumped out of the way of another Ursa swing.

"It fell out of your pocket while dodging!"

"Fantastic! Look out!" The Ursa swung at Steel. He barrel-rolled to the side. "So, is Luna going to help!?"

"Not herself, but she's sending backup!"

"A unicorn?!"

"No! On your right!" I ducked and the Ursa's paw flew over my head. "She's sending a weapon! A legendary hammer!"

"When?!" A huge hammer flew out of the sky and landed in front of me. It had a rising sun imprinted on the sides of the warhammer.

"Sharky, meet the Hammer of the Dawn!" I lifted the massive hammer, and the sun flashed in the distance.

"Sweeeeet..."

"ON YOUR LEFT!"

"What?"

*SMACK*

"OW!"

"So, I'll bet 50 bits he has already almost killed himself for some stranger pony." RD offered.

"Ha, no. I'll put 100 bits on him risking his life many consecutive times for a whole town!" Twilight countered.

"Oh I simply must get in on this action!" Rarity cheered.

"Thank you Shadow!" I breathed as I drank the healing potion. I prepared myself for the rush of energy, but instead I almost fell asleep! "What the.... *yawn* Buck... Shadow... Imma kill you..." I stood up from the tree I had been thrown into. I felt my body regenerating, but each wound healed made me even more tired. I stumbled over to the Ursa.

"Sharky! You're healed!"

"No *yawn* s*** Sherlock." I brought the hammer down on the Ursa's foot. He howled in pain. "Yeah! It..... Wha huh? Worked!"

"ARE YOU FALLING ASLEEP?!"

"A little..." The Ursa turned to me, clearly enraged. He hit me again, this time with claws. Blood flowed freely from my chest, and the shock from the wound woke me right up. "OH GOD!" I freaked out and swung the hammer into the Ursa's leg. I must have hit hit pretty hard, because his leg buckled and he fell forward. Onto me. "CRAP!" My voice came out very muffled. The Ursa thankfully stood back up, and I gasped for air.

"You are getting you flank kicked!" Steel yelled helpfully.

"GEE THANKS! I DON'T SEE YOU DOING ANYTHING!"

"You have the hammer! What am I supposed to do?!"

"I DON'T KNOW! DISTRACT HIM OR SOMETHING!!!"

"Good idea!" Steel started flying around the Ursa's head. It growled in annoyance and tried to swat him. I stood back up and brought the hammer against the Ursa's front right ankle. I ran to the side as he fell to the ground. As he smashed into the ground, I was buffeted by the wind rushing out from under him. I ran to his head, and brought the hammer down on his muzzle. He immediately jumped up and howled in pain. I started to run backward, but he clawed me again. A second gash ripped open on my chest, forming a large X. A second claw caught my leg and flipped me on my side. Then the bear brought his paw smashing down on my chest. "OH GOD The... the pain..." I fought to stay concious through the intense pain. I managed to smack his paw with my hammer, causing him to rear back in pain. "STEEL! CATCH!" I threw the hammer up as far as I could. Steel caught it in his mouth and took off again. I let my head roll to the side. "D-damn..." Blood trickled out of the corner of my mouth.

"Take this!" Steel flew straight at the Ursa, hitting it square in the eye with his hammer. The Ursa reared back even further, and fell backwards. He crashed down just on the edge of the town, very nearly crushing a building. Steel gained altitude, then fell out of the sky like a bolt, smashing the hammer into the Ursa's stomach. He let out a gurgling whine and rolled back up. The the Ursa grabbed Steel as he flew by, and held him over his mouth. I managed to stand somehow.

"N-n-no..." I hobbled forward, and pulled the silver vial out of my pouch, and reared back for a final throw. I adjusted my aim through my quickly fuzzing vision, and threw the vial. My aim was true, and it went straight into the Ursa's mouth. He swalloed the vial in suprise, then grinned and drew Steel closer to his mouth. Then, he bit him. Eeyup, he locked his now tiny jaws around Steel's ankle.

"I'm dead I'm dead I'm dead..." Steel muttered repeatedly. Then he opened one eye, and saw the tiny Ursa major nibbling on his ankle. "... What the...?"

"Ha... Sweet." I muttered. Steel brought up the hammer, preparing to smash it down on the Ursa's head. "What are you doing?"

"Killing the monster."

"Don't."

"WHAT?! WHY?!"

"He's not a threat anymore. We don't need to kill him." I stumbled over to the tiny bear. He released Steel and smiled at me.

"WHAT?! THAT THING TRIED TO DESTROY A CITY! HE ALMOST KILLED YOU! WHAT HAPPENS WHEN HE GETS BIG AGAIN!?" I waved my void over him. The giant ocean of magic I had felt earlier had been greatly reduced.

"He won't get big again. His magic level has changed..."

"WHAT THE BUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!?" The Ursa walked over to me and rubbed against my leg like an over sized cat.

"I MEAN, this guy's harmless now. Mission accomplished." I lifted up the now adorable little bear and hugged him. "Look, you can even touch him now, see?"

"WHA... BUT... YOU... BUCK! FINE! CALL LUNA AND TAKE US HOME! Crazy..." I grinned and held my hand out for my phone. He held it out to me with his wing. I called Luna.

"Hello Sharky, hath thou already... DEAR CELESTIA ART THOU ALRIGHT?!"

"Hmm... Oh yeah, the chest gashes... yeah, I'm bleeding... badly. The Ursa is fixed though!" I pointed the phone to the tiny bear. "I think Imma make him a pet. Not for me of course, I've got Fang." I shifted the Ursa to my chest so that he would cover most of my wounds.

"T-th-thou... Never ceases to not make sense Sharky. Very well, I will teleport thee here for treatment..."

"Actually, I'd rather go home... I promised my friends I'd spend more time with them. Fluttershy could fix me up I'm sure."

"I... if thou insists..."

"I do. Beam me up Scotty."

"We... we art Luna..."

"Nevermind, please just send me back to Ponyville..." I disappeared in a flash of black light. I left Steel and the Hammer behind, but I'm sure Luna will transport him too. Huh, I think I left my axe though.

"So, when do you think Sharky'll be back?" Twilight asked. I flashed into the room.

"Hi girls..."

"SHARKY!?" They squeaked in suprise.

"Back already?! What about the Ursa Minor?!" RD asked.

"Oh, he's right here... I shrank him..." I muttered, indicating the bear on my chest. I located Fluttershy through my hazy vision. "Hey Shy, you can fix bear wounds right?"

"Y-yes?" I lowered the Ursa Minor to reveal my chest wounds.

"Oh good..." Then I fell forward, out cold. The Ursa whined and wiggled out from under me.

"Sharky? Shaaaarky?" I woke up in a haze. I was laying on a bed. I looked around dazed, and realized I was in Fluttershy's house. Fluttershy was standing next to the bed in a nurse's hat.

"Oh dammit, another one of these dreams..." I muttered to myself. Fluttershy got a confused look, but it slowly turned into a devious grin.

"Yes, it's one of those dreams."

So... the reason I asked if anypony was good at art is because... People have been telling me I need some cover art... but I can't draw... Would anypony out there help a brony out?

Princess

"So... Princess Gilda huh?" I asked as we walked towards the cloud casle. It was near the center of the giant cloud, so we had flown 4 hours to get here. The sun was nearing the horizon, but it wasn't quite sunset yet. Luna had tried to call back a few times, but I had turned the ringer off. I had a feeling she was calling to send me back to Ponyville, so I didn't want to answer.

"Yeah, don't remind me."

"Isn't it a good thing to be royalty?"

"Heh you would think so, wouldn't you?" She trailed off and looked into the distance.

"... You wanna explain why it isn't?"

"No."

"Good, I'm all ears."

"..."

"..."

*sigh* "Nopony ever wants to be friends with me... well, they do, but it's because I'm a princess, not because they like me..."

"Well, for what it matters, you seem to be pretty ok to me." She gave a short laugh.

"Thanks, I guess..."

"Though, to be fair, it's not like you're giving them much to like."

"Whaddya mean?"

"I mean you act like a bitch."

"Well... I used to try to be nice..."

"... Annnnnd?"

"Oh, I got bored of it."

"Liar."

"Hey! Why does it matter to you anyway?"

"Because I'm bored and have nothing better to do than talk to you."

"... You suck."

"Nah, I lick."

"Oh Celestia you did not just say that!"

"Hey, you walked into that one. So, ya gonna tell me why ya stopped being nice?"

"Well... everypony took advantage of me to get something. Money, popularity, the works. It got old after awhile, so I started being mean."

"Wow, you're suprisingly easy to get a confession from."

"... I feel better telling somepony this stuff. You just seem cool enough to understand I guess..."

"So, when exactly did you meet Dash? Before or after you started being a bitch?"

"You know, you should be more careful around me. Insults, fighting me, I could get you in serious trouble."

"After the fight those guards put up? No trouble at all, I'd just beat whatever you threw at me. Besides, you're only the second princess I've ever fought."

"... What?"

"Yeah, fought Luna too."

"... Wow, what a rebel."

"Anyway, Dash. When'd ya meet her?"

"It was after I started being mean. She had an attitude of her own. She didn't care that I was a princess."

"Well I guess that make two of us."

"You don't care?"

"Nah, I deal with royalty on a constant enough basis to get over it."

"... So, you never told me how Dash was..."

"Hmm... lets see... Well, she got accepted into the Wonderbolts, adopted a daughter, and is now friends with Daring Do."

"... WHAT?! Her life sounds AWESOME! Wait, why did she adopt a kid? She's only like..." Gilda paused to count on her talons and think back. "22 right? Why'd she get a kid so soon?"

"Wow, she's 22? That makes her older than me... Anyway, the kid really looks up to Dash, and she recently almost froze to death. We found out she was an orphan, and RD decided to adopt her."

"Yeah, sounds like Dash alright... You're younger than Dash? Huh, you're so huge I never woulda guessed."

"That's what she said." Gilda face-... taloned?

"Dang it, walked into it again. Well, how old are ya?"

"21. You?"

"Same. Well how'd she get into the Wonderbolts?"

"You remember the race I had with the Wonderbolts?"

"Oh, you mean the epic loss?!" Gilda started laughing.

"Yeah, that one. Dash was there too, and I threw the race so that she would win and get asked to join."

"... You lost ON PURPOSE?"

"Yeah."

"... Wow... I guess I was wrong about how cool you were. You are officially awesome."

"Don't care."

"What DO you care about?"

"Nothing really. Not anymore.... I left everything I had to care about in Ponyville."

"Dude, what a bummer..."

"So, I've been meaning to ask, why are your... bangs... feathers... These things..." I ruffled her slightly purple feathers. "Purple?" She slapped my hand away.

"Hey, hands off the merchandise!"

"Oh, so you're for sale? How much?"

"Ugh! You know what I mean! Don't touch the Princess!"

"Ha, whatever."

"... I dye them with berries."

"Why?"

"So that I can look different. Look around." I did as instructed. I saw a bunch of gryffins. "See? They all look almost the same. The girls are a bit smaller, sure. We aren't like ponies though, it's hard to tell us apart. The purple... I dunno, makes me feel independent I guess." I nodded.

"I guess I can understand that. I've got the opposite problem. I wanna stand out LESS."

"Why? It must be nice to be unique."

"Yeah, when you aren't so unique that no one will like you..."

"I thought you had lotsa friends."

"Not what I meant. Anyway, let's get inside shall we?" We had reached the cloud castle, and I pushed open two giantic cloud doors. Inside was a giant cloud hallway that seperated into several other halls. Right down the middle was a huge red carpet that led all the way down the hall. At the VERY end of the hall, there were two thrones rising out of the ground. There were gryffins there, but they were to distant to make out. "So... should I be worried about your dad?"

"Do you like your limbs?"

"Most of them."

"Then yes, you should be worried." I scoffed and started down the hall.

"Ah, visitors! We haven't had visitors in ages, have we honey?" One of the gryffins boomed. The voice was male and very loud. It had a regal air about it which demanded respect. Which of course made me less inclined to give it.

"Look dear, one of them is out daughter! What is that with her though?" As I walked closer to the thrones, I could begin to make out the King and Queen. The Queen's voice was soft and high. It carried the same amount of authority as her husband, but it came across as more asking for respect than demanding it like the king. I decided I liked her. Gryffins were naturally bigger than ponies, but the King was roughly a half foot shorter than an Alicorn! He was well muscled, not as much as Steel, but close. He had a gold circlet on his head. Not very ornate, but royal-looking anyway. The Queen was just a tiny bit shorter than him, but her crown was much more elaborate and had jewels laid into the sides. I reached the thrones and nealt down on one knee. Gilda continued walking forward to her parents.

"Gilda dear! You must spend more time at home! You're gone far too often!" The king said jovially. "Now, who is this intruder you have allowed into our realm?" He didn't let a hint of anger seep into his voice. A little impressive actually, but I wasn't going to buy a nice act.

"You can save the false display of emotion your highness, you aren't fooling me." I stood up from my kneel. The king frowned at me.

"Why, whatever do you mean?" He asked innocently.

"Knock it off, I can see you're no diplomat. Obviously you don't hold this position with words." The king's frown deepened.

"Oh, is that so? What makes you say this?"

"Simple, your circlet. Obviously not the choice of a king that never does anything for himself. Were you a diplomat, your crown would be very decorative and fancy, like your wife here. I'd imagine she's very good with words." The queen smiled and nodded. The king's frown turned into a scowl.

"Alright fine, you got me. I'm not a diplomat. Now tell me why I shouldn't kick you clear off my cloud!" He said irritably.

"Because I do what I want. You could try to get rid of me, but you'd fail. By the way, your daughter needs better guards."

"He beat 'em all in about 20 seconds." Gilda continued. The king's face softened.

"Ah, a warrior eh? My kind. So, how did you meet my daughter?"

"She attacked me and I bitch-slapped her out of the air." Gilda flinched and the king's scowl returned.

"You struck my daughter?"

"Yeah. Then she got a really good swipe in right above my eye, see?" I pointed to the blood. "She faked me out like a champ. You should be proud." The king smiled.

"Is this true dear?"

"Uh... yeah... I got him pretty good I guess... He didn't even blink though..." The king turned back to me.

"Well, I must say, you got some balls to come in here and admit to striking my daughter to my face. Tell me, how'd you get those scars on your chest?" He indicated my still healing X.

"Fighting an Ursa Minor. Apparently you need weapons of legend to hit them. Nopony told me before I went after it though."

"You fought a constellation monster? Wow, I admire your bravery!"

"Eh, it's no big deal. Anyway, I'm just here to make sure you won't actively try to 'kick me off your cloud' while I'm here. I'm just traveling as of now, and I didn't want to have to beat too many gryffins while I'm here."

"Well, I see no harm in allowing you to stay with us."

"Excuse me? I didn't mean here, I--"

"Nonsense. It's refreshing to see a fighting spirit like you. I insist you stay with us for the duration of your time here."

"... If you insist I suppose. One thing though, I need to stay near Gilda, or I'll lose my wings and fall right through these clouds." The king frowned again.

"What nonsense is this?"

"You see, I can absorb the magic of anything I'm around. I lose it if I'm seperated from whoever I absorbed it from for too long. If I leave Gilda for too long, I'll lose her magic and fall through the clouds."

"This had better not be some attempt to get with my daughter..."

"Never your highness."

"Fair enough, I will believe you for now..." He turned to Gilda. "You will accompany..." He turned to me. "What is your name?"

"... Steven."

"You will accompany Steven here for as long as he is visiting."

"What if I don't want to?" Gilda retorted. The king turned red and inhaled, but I cut him off.

"Then I will leave before I fall to my death." Gilda flinched and turned to me.

"I... I don't have a problem with it..." The king returned to normal and nodded.

"Good, you are dismissed." He waved his talon at us in a shooing motion. Glida rolled her eyes and motioned for me to follow her. We walked back down the hall and turned into another dividing hallway.

"So, is he bi-polar or something? That was a lot of different moods in one talk." I asked. Gilda gave me a confused look.

"What's bi-polar?"

"Nevermind. Nice dad you got there." I was heavy on the sarcasm. Gilda laughed.

"Oh, you enjoy him as much as I do huh?"

"Oh infinitely. Whatever happened to me liking my limbs by the way?"

"I guess he was in a good mood. Nopony has ever talked to him like that before, you're pretty brave."

"Or just crazy."

"... Yeah, good point."

"So, why so nice? You didn't act like this when I met you."

"Don't get used to it."

"Will do."

"... So, what do ya wanna do?"

"I dunno, what do you usually do for fun around here?"

"Well, I usually practice playing music at my house."

"Wait, you have your own house? Why? I thought you lived in the castle..."

"Would you wanna live with 'his highness'?"

"Good point. Well, can I hear you play?" Gilda blushed.

"I-I don't usually play in front of anypony..."

"Huh, what happened to the confident punk that hit me in the forest? C'mon, you're gonna play me a song!" I grabbed her talon and pulled her back down the hall and out of the building.

"... Geez, you don't take no for an answer huh?"

"Yes, I don't. Now, which way to your house?" Gilda pointed off towards the nearest edge of the cloud continent. We both took off and headed towards her house. We flew for about 30 minutes before we reached where she said her house was. It was perched right on the edge of a huge hole in the cloud continent. We could see straight through to the ocean below. "Wow, that's pretty."

"Pfft gonna get all sappy?"

"Maybe. Let's go inside." We walked into Gilda's house, and it looked... Punkish. The walls were white like every other cloud house, but the inside was plastered with all sorts of posters of various rock bands and such. There was a random collection of rock instruments laying around on the ground. "So, which one do you play?" There were drums, guitars, a microphone, but Gilda passed all of them.

"I... Don't practice with these, these are for my band and we only practice together."

"Then what do YOU play?" Gilda was blushing heavily.

"Just... don't laugh ok?" I nodded in agreement, and she reached behind one of the posters on the wall. She pulled out a small metal case, and turned away from me to open it. I heard some metal clink together, and when she turned back around, she was holding a flute.

Death

I felt the rush of air as I sailed towards the ocean. Oddly enough, I didn't scream, I didn't panic, I simply accepted fate. I was living on time I shouldn't have anyway. Maybe this was like a Final Destination kind of thing. I saw Gilda crash through the cloud behind me, but it was obvious she'd never get to me in time. Even if she did, I'd just drag her down with me. Rather than try to slow my fall so she could catch me, I pointed my body towards the ocean to pick up speed so she'd have no chance of getting to me. Sure, I didn't want to die, but I'd rather die myself then kill Gilda as well. I fell and kept falling for quite some time. As I neared the ocean and the waves rose up to meet me, the water flashed bright white. I figured it was the reflection of the moon, and took it as a final goodbye from Luna. I closed my eyes as I prepared to meet the ocean. Kind of ironic actually, being a Marine Biologist, I loved the ocean. Now it was going to kill me. Life is a bitch. I hope death isn't the same.

Gilda saw him rush for the ocean. She saw as he adjusted his body to fall faster, ruining her chances to catch him. Still she flew on, desperate to try to save him. She saw the ocean flash beneath him right before he made contact. Then she saw the bloody impact as he hit the water. Her new and only friend had left her as soon as he'd met her. Gilda stopped her flight in pure horror, then cried.

"No... not now..." Gilda let tears of pain flow freely from her eyes. Sharky had been the only one that hard even tried to be friends with her ever since Dash had abandoned her, and now he was gone thanks to her. Gilda wailed and flew back to her house, blaming herself for her only friend's death.

"No... he... he's dead..." Twilight muttered. "He was killed by a fall... Not... not even by a monster... That's not how he would've wanted to die..."

"It doesn't matter how he wanted to die! Why'd he have to die anyway?!" RD wailed.

"He's gone... he's just gone... He left us again, it's what he does..." Twilight whispered to herself.

"This never woulda happen if he'd just stay here! Why? Why did he have to leave again?!" Rd continued her wailing, oblivious to Twilight's rambling. In the other room, Unity stopped his crying as soon as it had begun. Nopony paid him any attention.

"He left... he fell through a cloud. He won't come back again. He's gone for good this time..." Twilight's eyes had no focus. She stared blankly off into space, rambling about Sharky leaving again.

"I... I can't believe he's dead... This is all his fault! He left and he didn't have to! He got himself killed!" RD's sadness quickly turned to anger. "That irresponsible jerk! He went and died on us! He left Unity AND Fang behind! How could he?!" RD let tears of pain roll down her face. Spike didn't really feel too bad, he'd only barely known Sharky. He did know Twilight was in pain, so he walked over and hugged her. He didn't know what else to do. Twilight didn't react to him in the slightest, so he pulled away. He decided the others should know too, instead of being suprised with it later.

"I... I'm gonna go tell the others... I'm sorry guys..." He turned and left the library. Behind him, Twilight continued to mumbled while RD cried her eyes out.

"Gone... just gone..."

"Oh, hello Spike, what brings you here so late? I suppose I could find something for you to help with..." Rarity greeted Spike as he walked in.

"Actually Rarity... Fluttershy... I've got something to tell you about Sharky..."

"Oh, we were just talking about him... Did the Princesses find him?" Fluttershy asked excitedly. Spike flinched.

"Uhh... Yeah, they found him... You girls may want to sit down..."

"Why Spike? Did something bad happen? Is Sharky hurt again?"

"Uhh... You could say that... Girls... Sharky is dead...." Both Rarity and Fluttershy's mouths dropped.

"W-w-what?!" Rarity exclaimed in disbelief.

"He's dead. He fell off the cloud that holds up the Gryffin Empire...."

"... What?" Fluttershy asked numbly.

"Girls, Sharky is dead. He won't come back. Gone. Forever..."

"N-no! This can't be happening! T-this... this is worse than the worst possible thing!" Rarity wailed. "He just can't be dead, he simply can't! He's strong right Spike!? He'll live! He has to be alive!"

"He's dead... He can't be dead... It was just yesterday that I kissed him..." Fluttershy whined softly. "No... no... no... I... I need to be alone..." With that Fluttershy took off out the door, leaving tears behind her. Spike couldn't help but shed a few tears himself. Rarity suprised him by grabbing him and pulling him into a hug.

"Oh Spikey! Please tell me it isn't true! He can't be dead right? He was too strong! Too nice!" She started rubbing the top of his head with her hoof like he was a cat. Spike sighed. This was the first time a hug from Rarity hadn't made him happy.

"I'm sorry Rarity... The princesses said he would die..."

"B-b-but... There's a chance right?! I mean, we don't know a lot about humans! Maybe he could survive the fall!" Spike thought for a moment. the gryffin kingdom was about 1000 feet over the ocean. Even a full grown dragon would be lucky to survive that kind of fall.

"Y-yeah Rarity, I'm sure there's a chance..." He lied. Better to let her hope then just deny it outright.

"Y-yes, that means he might come back! He could stil be alive! He's going to be ok... everything is ok..." She slowed down her frantic rubbing and kissed the top of Spike's head. "Thank you Spikey... I'm going to go prepare something for Sharky's return." She put Spike down. "Now run along dear, I've work to do." She gave Spike a gentle push towards the door. He turned to look back at Rarity before he left. She was alredy busy grabbing different kinds of fabrics and such. He sighed and hung his head. At least she wasn't crying, he wasn't sure if he could handle that. He left the boutique. He still had more ponies to tell about Sharky's death.

"Hi Applejack..." Spike said as he walked up to the barn. Applejack was carrying a barrel of apples.

"Well howdy Spike, Ah'd love ta talk, but Ah got work ta do thanks ta Shadow. What a hard workin' feller..."

"Actually Applejack, this is pretty important, can yo-- wait, how do the trees already have apples?"

"Oh, his magic stuff makes the apples grow faster an' more often too! We're gonna be raking in profit like never before!"

"Huh... that's cool... Listen Applejack... Sharky... is dead." Applejack stopped dead in her tracks.

"Ah beg your pardon?"

"Sharky is dead... He fell off the Gryffin Empire and straight into the ocean..."

"Oh my... That... that's mighty terrible..." She stopped to look at the house. "Shadow's gonna be awful sad..."

"You aren't?"

"Oh, Ah'm sad... Ah just... don't..." She sighed. "Look, Ah'm a tough mare. Ah don't like cryin' or bein' sad, so Ah'm not gonna be. Shadow though... he liked Sharky like his new brother... He's gonna be hurt real bad..."

"Well... I suppose I better go tell him..." Spike turned to walk to the house, but Applejack caught him with her hoof.

"Now hold on Sugarcube, he's just now gettin' some sleep. 'Sides, he... needs somepony ta break it to him gently... Ah'll tell him mahself..."

"Ok Applejack... If you say so..." Spike turned back away from Sweet Apple Acres. "I'm gonna go tell Pinkie now... bye Applejack..." He slowly trudged towards town.

"Hi Spike! What are you doing here so late? Twilight's gonna be real mad you're staying up past your bedtime! Did you want a cupcake or something? Try coming back tomorrow afternoon, I would give you one now, but it's already so late, and the sugar wouldn't help you sleep at all! Like that one time I ate a whole cake all by my--" Pinkie gushed as Spike entered Sugarcube Corner.

"Pinkie! Calm down! I... I have something important to tell you about Sharky..."

"Oh yeah, I heard he left Ponyville! Did he find a better place or something?"

"Uhh... Yeah, I guess you could say that... Pinkie... He died..." Pinkie's eyes widened as her mane went flat and her coat darkened.

"W-what?! No! I still haven't even gotten to throw him a party yet! He was my..." She started counting hooves. "3rd newest friend! He can't just be gone!"

"I'm sorry Pinkie... he is gone..."

"No! He can't be! I'll... I'll... I'll find a way to make him not dead! That's what I'll do!" Before Spike could react, Pinkie ran out of the building at full speed. "You'll see!" She shouted behind herself. Spike sighed.

"Well... She took that well... Now I've only got to tell Stormy and Blaze... but... I'm so tired..." Spike yawned and decided to go back to the library. He'd had enough misery today anyway.

So, this is death... The last thing I remembered was my nose touching the water, then nothing. Now, I felt surrounded by water. Not normal water, but something like really watery jell-o. I was floating in it. I tried reaching out my hands a few times, but I always made contact with some kind of barrier a few inches away from my body. God this is boring. I thought to myself. I still hadn't opened my eyes, for fear of the sight that awaited me. After all, it would be hard to go from the heaven of Equestria to the hell I was sure I was in.

Fang traveled alone in the forest. He may be just a wolf, but he had enough sense to know what had happened. He was on a special trip. He was on his way to a large cliff he had discovered back before Fluttershy had met him. He only traveled there every once in awhile. It was sacred, and he didn't want to spend to much time there for fear of disturbing it. It was a long trip too, and the walk usually wasn't worth his time. The forest suddenly dispersed around him, and he was standing on a bare ledge overlooking a huge lake. Below him reflected in the water was a brilliant full moon. Above in the sky, the moon glowed at him, almost as if it were glowing for him. Fang sat down to look up at the moon. This was the place where he talked to the moon, asked it for things and gave thanks for what it brought him. The last time he had come here had been when he asked it to find him an owner. He remembered that day. It had been late fall, the end of adoption season for the most part. Almost all the other pets had been chosen and carried away. At the least, they got attention and love from visiting ponies. Not Fang. All ponies had been afraid to even approach him. He had come to the moon in pure sadness, honestly believeing that nopony would ever be able to love him. Then, not long after, the moon had given him Sharky. How happy he had been. The very next day he had gone and given many thanks to the moon. Now he was here again, and he howled his pain to the moon. It had tricked him. It gave him his owner only to cruelly rip him away again. He howled and howled out all the pain in his heart. He asked the moon a single question that night.

Why?

Flames

Saturday, January 26th

"Sir? Sir?" I was woken by the stallion shaking my shoulder.

"Hmm? Oh, yes? What is it?"

"We've arrived in Stalliongrad sir! I'm here to escort you off the train."

"Oh! Wow, I slept longer than I thought... Ok, lead the way." I stood up from the still made bed and stretched. I walked over to my weapons corner and pulled on my gloves. Then I grabbed my Buster Sword and started after the stallion. We walked through quite a few cars until we reached the car where he led me out of the train and on to a wooden platform.

"Here you go, Stalliongrad! Goodbye hero!" The platform was totally empty.

"Wait a minute, something's wrong here. Why aren't there a ton of ponies here trying to flee the dragon attacks? Did they all leave already?" The stallion shook his head.

"The ponies of Stalliongrad are too proud. They refuse to leave even in this danger." Off in the distance, I heard a dragon roar sound off, it carried enough volume and force to shake the ground beneath me. "Well, if you'll excuse me, that sounds dangerous. I hope to see you again hero!" The stallion dashed back into the train and I shrugged my blade off my shoulder.

"Well, duty calls." I ran off the train platform right as it started pulling out. I saw a dirt trail that led to a small town. It consisted mostly of wooden buildings, like in Appleloosa, but it had a few more permenant stone buildings as well. Above it, there was a huge, blue dragon circling lazily in the night sky over the buildings. It roared again before sending a jet of flame down at the city. After that, it quickly flew away towards some desolate looking mountains to the north of the city. I knew I wouldn't be able to chase it down on foot, so instead I ran into the city to see if I could help with the fire. I quickly ran down the dirt path to the town. As soon as I got close, I could hear yelling from ponies as I passed them. I couldn't tell if it was screams of joy or fear, and at the moment it didn't matter. I easily located the burning building by following the smoke plume it was sending into the sky. The building was of course, wooden. It was totally enveloped in flames and looked to be on the verge of collapsing on itself. There was a mare in front of it, screaming.

"Help! Help! My husband and child are still inside! Please, somepony, anypony help me!" There was a crowd gathered around, but even though they all looked like they wanted to help, nopony moved forward.

"Out of my way!" I barreled through the gathered crowd, they all screamed. I could tell it was in fear this time. I tossed my sword to the side and into the snow as I charged the burning door. I rammed it with my right shoulder, breaking it in and littering myself with burning wood. I quickly brushed the wood off, and coughed a few times due to the smoke that filled the room. Flames licked at the armor around my lower body. I had to find the ponies and get out fast before I was fried like a crab in my own armor. My shirt had already caught on fire, and I pulled it off quickly before throwing it into the flames. I gazed through the smoke, searching for a sign of the endangered ponies.

"Daddy..." I heard a whimper from above me. The sound had come from upstairs. I stumbled blindly through the smoke, searching for a staircase.

"Hey! Whoever's in here, keep calling!"

"Who is that?! Please! Daddy needs help!" I found some stairs and crawled up them as fast as I could.

"What's wrong with your daddy?" I called back, desperate to keep the young voice talking so I could find him.

"He got hurt! He needs help! Please..." I ducked low to the floor, risking letting the flames on the ground burn my chest so that I could locate the young voice. I saw it, a young colt cowering under the body of a large stallion.

"I'm on my way! Stay calm!" The building was breaking apart around me, burning beams fell from the ceiling as I crawled to the colt. The colt was alive and fine, but the stallion... A burning beam had fallen from the ceiling. It had landed on him, I assume snapping his spine. Judging by the way he was positioned over the colt, it was obvious he had saved the colt's life by ending his own.

"My daddy! You have to help my daddy!" The colt looked up at me with tears in his eyes. I coughed through the smoke.Suddenly, the floor began to give way beneath me with a symphony of cracks. I quickly reached out and grabbed the two ponies as I fell through the floor. We all went down through a new hole in the building. I managed to pull the colt in my arms as we fell. My back slammed into a burning table, crushing it beneath me and covering me in flaming splinters. The dead body of the stallion landed next to me heavily.

"We have to get out now..." I mumbled to myself. I cradled the colt in my left arm and lifted the stallion in my right. I picked myself up from the remaining shards of the table and dashed towards the light filtering through the smoke, only hoping it was coming from the door. With a gasp, I plowed out of the smoke and into the cool air of the night. I breathed in heavily and fell to my knees.

"My child! It saved my child!" The mare screamed. I relesed to the colt and he ran over to his mother. The building collapsed behind me, sending a new wave of heat and flame at my back.

"Mama! Mama! I love you mama!" The colt cried joyfully as he embraced his mother. The mare tore her gaze from the colt and looked back at me.

"My husband! You saved my husband as well, yes?!" I grimaced and slowly shook my head. I slowly held out the dead body of the stallion and laid him gently in the snow.

"I'm sorry... I wasn't fast enough..." The mare looked horrified at the blackened corpse of her husband.

"No... no! No!" She released the colt and ran over to the body. She cradled the corpse's head in her forelegs as tears ran freely down her face. "No... no.... He is gone..." She sobbed gently. Her tears fell like rain, dotting the stallion's burnt mane. The colt walked over as well.

"No... papa... He can't be dead!" He turned to me. "Strange creature! You help him! You save him! Please!" I slowly shook my head with a sorry frown on my face.

"I'm sorry... I can't..." The colt looked at me in disbelief.

"N-no... No! Papa! I don't want you to be dead!" The colt wailed helplessly and curled up next to his father's corpse. I turned away from the distressing scene.

"I'm... I'm so sorry... It's his own damn fault. Killed himself to save a kid. What a prick. You know, if he had saved himself he could've just made more." I muttered quietly. Everypony was to absorbed in the shock of my appearance to notice Steven. One mare spoke up.

"Uhh... sir... You are a sir yes?" She was talking to me. I turned to her. She was a brown pegasus mare with an orange mane. I nodded quietly. "... Your mane is on fire..." I jumped and shoved my head in the snow. This got a small awkward laugh from some of the crowd. I removed my head, and water hissed as it ran down my neck. I was really hot from running through a burning building. My armor was super heated and was melting through the snow.

"Thank you... I'm going to go hide for a moment while I take off these pants before they destroy my legs." With that, and a few questioning looks from the crowd, I grabbed my sword and ran behind the nearest building. I quickly stripped off my armored pants and shoes. My legs were very red, and heat blisters were beginning to form. "Wow... this is way worse then the small roasting I got from the demon snowman..." I mumbled to myself. My skin on my upper body was red and sensitive to the touch. I was covered in splinters from the snowman still on my left arm, and I could feel them all over my back from the table. My hair was most likely ruined, not that I actually cared. Not to mention that I still had bruises galore. I sighed heavily. I was reaching my limits on physical damage. "There's no way we can kill that dragon. We should turn around and walk to the nearest operating train station." I rolled my armor out in the snow in an effort to cool it off quickly. Then I laid out in the snow next to it in an attempt to cool myself off as well. I started picking out all my splinters in my left arm as I cooled off. I managed to get most of them out, making a small pile of wood in the snow.

"Hello? Are you still back here sir?" I heard a mare's voice call from around the corner of the building. I quickly jumped to my feet and started pulling on my armor.

"Don't come back here! Give me a moment!" My armor was cool enough to wear now, so I slipped on my armored boots as well. "Ok, I'm decent. You can come here now!" A dainty blue unicorn with a light purple mane came around the corner of the building I was behind. She looked scared, but determined.

"Y-you saved that colt..."

"Yes... I'm sorry I couldn't get the stallion too... I didn't get here fast enough..."

"Oh no! We are... very thankful... Saving the colt alone was fantastic..."

"No. I should've been here sooner. I should've ran faster. Then I'd have saved the stallion too..."

"... You are a very kind creature. I can see this. Why did you come here?"

"... I'm glad you aren't scared. Hi, I'm Sharky White of the Lunar Knights. I'm here to help you with your dragon problem." She jumped in shock and her eyes widened.

"Alone? You believe this is wise?"

"I never said it was a good idea. I was just hoping I could convince it to leave... but after that... It must die. How often does it attack like that?"

"At least once every few days... Do you believe you can fight it yourself?"

"How much damage has this town taken?! No. I don't believe so."

"Come. I will show you... you believe you can't win?"

"Yes, I don't think I can win."

"... Then why do you choose to fight?"

"Because if I don't, who will?"

"... That is a very noble thing to say. I do hope it doesn't get you killed. Follow me." She trotted off around the building. I grabbed my sword and stood up to follow her. She led me to the sites of several buildings burnt to the ground. Often they had small groups of ponies in front of them. They were always crying. I could only assume they were the previous owners of the burnt husks. My heart cried out for them. Steven inwardly laughed at them. After seeing a few buildings though, I noticed a strange pattern. In every attack area, there was only one burnt building. In every scene, no matter how close the houses were, only one building had been burnt to the ground. Others nearby had been burnt, but not to the ground.

"I have a question, what is this building?" I pointed to the latest husk.

"That? That was Silt's blacksmith workshop. Here in Stalliongrad, we pride ourselves on being the number one producers of weapons. Our craft is legendary. Sadly, with these attacks, only few of our workshops still stand..."

"Right... What is this building?" I pointed to another husk off in the distance to another husk.

"That was Flare's blacksmith workshop."

"What about the one I ran into?"

"That? That was Burner's blacksmith workshop."

"Riiiight... I think I need to see this dragon... Where is a still standing workshop?"

"My workshop still stands. Why?"

"I need my sword repaired. After that, I'm going to kill this dragon." She nodded happily.

"Thank you! Oh thank you! I shall gladly repair your blade! Please, follow me!" She led me around the town a bit more. Ponies gasped as I went, but I ignored them. I was brought to a stone building. "Here we are! Please, give me your blade." I held out the Buster Sword for her. She levitated it away from me and trotted into the building. I waited patiently for her to fix up my sword. As I waited, a small crowd of ponies gathered a few buildings away from me. They were whispering and pointing at me.

"What are you lookin' at?! Piss off!" They all suddenly scattered and I scratched my head in confusion. I stood there for a few more minutes, then the unicorn came back out with my sword.

"Here! Good as new!" She levitated me the Buster Sword and it was clear of all rust and shone like a mirror. The blade was so sharp the felt like I could cut the air with it.

"Wow! Fantastic work!"

"Thank you. Now, please go! Celestia knows how long until it comes back!" I turned away from her and headed north to the mountains. I gazed at the burnt husks as I walked.

"... Something isn't right about these attacks..."

Sunny skies

"I'd like to help you with your animals! You seem to really love it, and I'd love to assist you!" Fluttershy bounced happily.

"Ohhh~! That's perfect! I'd love that!" She stopped and gave me a curious look. "Wait, if t-this date is p-practice... Why are we d-doing something only I w-would like? N-not that I'm complaining..." I flashed her a smile.

"Well, if I'm practicing, I gotta do it like I would a real date! So, I matched the date to you! You like animals, so I figured an animal themed date would be best." Fluttershy nodded in understanding.

"T-thats really smart Sharky..."

"It's nothing really... Anyway, it'll have to wait until I can put Unity to bed ok?"

"Oh, t-that's no problem... I c-can wait."

"Great. Well, it's still really early... How about I make us some breakfast hmm?"

"Oh no, y-you don't have t--"

"Fluttershy..."

"Ok, fine... I usually just have some t-toast... and a half of a grapefruit... T-that's not asking too much is it?" I laughed heartily.

"You're so... so... I don't know what other word to use but 'cute'! It's not a problem at all Fluttershy!" The word 'cute' got a huge smile from Fluttershy that made me feel all warm inside. I smiled back at her and walked off into the kitchen. It was the same as the rest of her house, sparsely furnished and made mainly for the comfort of animals. There was a sink that apparently doubled as a birdbath in the middle of the counter at the back. To the left of that there was an oven that had some sort of bird house just far enough over it that it would get some warmth when somepony was cooking. I was sure the birds went somewhere else to do buisness though, rather than just right out of their house like birds on my old world. The fridge was off to the right. It was tall as me with top and bottom doors. Lastly, there was a toaster in the corner next to the oven. "Hey Shy, where's the bread?"

"It's in the p-pantry to the left!" I turned and looked, and there it was. I opened it to reveal tons of animal food. After seaching through the contents of the pantry I managed to find a half loaf of wheat bread and a bunch of fruits. I grabbed the bread and a grapefruit. I popped two slices of bread into the toaster for Fluttershy and started searching the counters and cabinets for a knife. I looked around until the toast popped up, but I couldn't find one.

"Hey Fluttershy, where do you keep the knives?"

"Oh! I'll be r-right there!" I could hear her trot into the kitchen. "I h-have to hide them... You k-know, to keep the animals s-safe..."

"Where's Unity?" There was a distinct lack of my son with Fluttershy.

"I put him d-down in a little crib I made for him..."

"You... made him a crib? Sweet." She shot me another smile. I smiled back, then I realized what I was feeling. Everything this pony was doing made me happy. My expression quickly changed into a frown as I reminded myself that she would never feel the same. I sighed and Fluttershy returned my frown.

"Sharky, w-what's wrong?"

"You haven't shown me where the knives are... That's it." Fluttershy scrunched up her face at me, obviously not buying it. She didn't call me out though.

"They're over here..." Fluttershy trotted over to a few cabinets inbetween the sink and oven.

"I already checked that one..."

"I'm sure you did... but t-the knives are hidden. I don't w-want my animals hurting themselves..."

"Oh, gotcha. I should go hide my sword then right?"

"Well... If you don't mind..." I nodded to her and left the kitchen. I picked up my sword from next to the front door and looked around for a place to stash it. As I looked, I could see little eyes poking out from all over the room. Mice peered out from under furniture at me, birds covered their heads with their wings and peeked out from inbetween their feathers.

"Geez, you guys act like you've never seen a man with a gigantic sword before! Hey, is that a chicken? I could freaking go for some chicken right now..." A fat chicken that had squeezed itself under a chair sqwaked unnecessarily louldly and darted off into the kitchen. "Perfect, now I won't even have to drag it in there..." I shrugged at the chicken's strange behavior and started looking for a place to stash my sword. I walked out of the house and to the nearby forest. "Now... Where does one hide a sword as big as this?" I thought to myself and searched around for awhile for a decent place to put my sword where it wouldn't get damaged, but wouldn't pose a danger to the wildlife. I searched for at least thirty minutes without sucess.

"S-sharky? Are you out here?" I could hear Fluttershy calling me from her house.

"Yeah, I'm out here! Just trying to find a place to put my sword! Perhaps your chest cavity would do the trick!"

"Eeep! Oh d-dear... Can you make S-steven less s-scary?" Fluttershy's voice was barely louder than a squeak.

"Oh god dammit. Shut up Steven! You got it boss. Sorry Fluttershy!"

"I-t's not that big of a d-deal... Hurry and hide your sword if you don't mind! Y-your breakfast will get cold!"

"I haven't made myself breakfast yet!"

"I d-did it for you!" I groaned.

"Ok, I'll be there soon!" I turned my head around quickly, still searching for a place to put my weapon. I sighed. "There's no way I'm going to be able to stash this anywhere where it won't hurt something... I guess I'll just have to keep it with me." I slid the sword into the strap on my back and walked back to Fluttershy's house. "I guess maybe I can get Rarity to help me with it. I could have her help me make a real sheath... Assuming she can do that." I muttered to myself as I knocked on Fluttershy's door.

"Sharky? Is t-that you?" I heard Fluttershy call from inside.

"No it's the motha-fucking Easter Bunny! Yeah, it's me." Fluttershy opened the door and gave me a look of confusion.

"W-why did you knock?"

"Cause I wanted to come in." Fluttershy stepped to the side to allow me to enter.

"Y-you live here now... You don't n-need t--"

"Oh I smell eggs! God I'm hungry!" I walked into the house and made a beeline for the smells drifting out of the kitchen. I walked in to find a plate of eggs, toast, a little steak, and the other half of the grapefruit. I dug in so quickly and hungrily that I was done before Fluttershy even caught up with me. I could hear her hooves tap as she entered the kitchen. She gasped loudly.

"Y-you must have been v-very hungry Sharky!!"

"Yeah, normally I would be more upset that you went through the trouble of cooking for me, but I can't remember the last time I ate." Fluttershy gasped again.

"You n-need to take better care of yourself! How in Equestria are you still moving?! You must feel terrible!" Fluttershy's stutter went away as she kicked into caretaker mode.

"I'm fine really! I just needed to eat!"

"Don't you act tough with me mister! You're going to lay down right now! ... If you don't mind..."

"I don't need to lay down. Actually, if I remember correctly, I need to go talk to Rarity about a sheath."

"No! You're not going anywhere! ... Please?"

"Pfft, make me!" Fluttershy gave me a pleading look.

"Please? I j-just really want you t-to be ok..." That statement halted me. I gave a long sigh.

"Ok, fine. I guess I'll go lay down. Only because it means this much to you." I trudged out of the kitchen and into the living room. I laid down on the floor in front of the stone fireplace. Fluttershy trotted out after me.

"What are y-you doing?"

"Laying down." Fluttershy face-hoofed.

"S-sharky... *sigh* What am I g-going to do with y-you?" I smiled at her.

"We're going to take care of animals of course!" She smiled at me and burst out laughing.

"Y-you really can be... interesting S-sharky...:"

"Thank yo-- Oh hi Fang!" Right in the middle of my sentence, Fang's muzzle popped up in my vision and he licked me right across the face. "Blech... Want some attention huh?" He nodded vigerously. "Well then I guess we're going to go play huh?" I stood up and walked towards the door.

"H-hey wait! I thought you s-said you were going to l-lay down!"

"Change of plans! My wolf needs to play!" Fluttershy huffed behind me.

"F-fine... Just be sure to c-check in here often... I'll be making you some extra food to help you g-get your n-n-nourishment!"

"Thanks Shy!" I pulled open the front door to reveal Twilight with her hoof raised towards the door. She blinked a few times in suprise before she looked up at me.

"Sharky! Hi!" She looked like she wanted to say more, but her mouth hung open lamely.

"Hi. What are you doing here?" I asked nervously. The whole reason I had come here was to avoid hurting her.

"Uh... I needed to talk to you. Why are you at Fluttershy's house?"

"I live here now." Twilight leapt in suprise.

"What?!"

"I told you. I live here now."

"W-what? B-but... you can't!"

"I can, and I did." Twilight flinched.

"... Why?" I sighed and kneeled down to look her in the eyes. I put my hand on the back of her neck and rubbed it slightly.

"Look... I made a promise to Spike a long time ago. I told him I wouldn't hurt you. When... when you cried... I knew I had to go... I'm sorry, but this is the only way to make sure I can't hurt you any more." Twilight's eyes widened.

"N-no! That's not going to help! Please Sharky, don't do this!"

"It's too late Twilight. I don't want to hurt you."

"Then realize that I like you!!!" I blinked a few times as Twilight's eyes swelled to enormous proportions and she shoved a hoof in her mouth.

"Oh my god, this is going to be amazing. You fucked up chicka. ... I... like you too. You're my best friend, and I realize you like me too. I still don't want to risk hurting you. Now, if you'll excuse me...Holy fuck... Even I thought he would get it that time." I gently edged Twilight out of my way and walked out the door, Fang right behind me. She turned to follow me, but she found herself unable to move or speak from pure shock.

"... Wow..." Twilight turned quickly to see Fluttershy standing in the doorway. Her gaze was locked on Sharky's retreating form. "I guess... technically that was against the rules... but I don't think it even counts..." Twilight closed her mouth and nodded.

"I... guess you're right..." Twilight sighed heavily. "What are we going to do?"

"I... I don't know..." Fluttershy shook her head sadly. "I feel like we should give up... but I really don't want to." Twilight shook her head too.

"No, I've worked too hard, too long for that... Maybe... maybe if he won't accept love from a pony... He'll accept it from a human!!" Twilight jumped up and took off in the direction of her library.

"Wait... what?" Fluttershy mumbled after her. Twilight turned in confusion until she saw Fluttershy still standing in her doorway.

"What are you waiting for?! Come on!" Fluttershy looked to both sides for a moment as if Twilight was speaking to somepony else, then took off in pursuit.

Fang and I played in the forest for a few hours. Fetch, chase, practicing tricks, but I decided to stop when my teeth were just as long and sharp as Fang's. I walked back to the house and knocked on the door.

"Hello? Fluttershy?" I got no response, so I opened the door myself and gingerly stepped in. You know, as gingerly as a huge dude wearing armor and a gigantic sword can be. I looked around, but still no Fluttershy. What I did see however, was all of the animals that normally hid from me. "Hey! You guys aren't hiding from me!" There was a happy tone to my voice until I noticed that none of them had been looking at me. Every single eye in the room was turned towards Fluttershy's bedroom. Where Unity was. "Uh oh... What has Unity done this time?" Just then, every head in the room snapped towards me in an instant. All of them in an owl-like/Exorcist fashion. Their eyes were blood red and their teeth/beaks were full of fangs/ were hooked like a blade. "Oh... shit."

Two Left, Two Stayed, Four Dead

Sunday, Febuary 10th

For two days we walked along the outside of the force field. The longer we traveled, the weaker the light from my axe grew. Luckily all we had seen were fleeting glimpses of skeletons. They were all too afraid to approach us. We took turns watching at night, but nothing ever came for us.

"Hey guys...." I spoke up as we trudged on. I was standing at the back of the group. Everypony's shoulders drooped and their heads hung exhaustedly. I could tell we needed someting to happen or morale would sink even further. The group slowly turned to face me. "It's obvious we're never going to find the madpony by doing this. I have an idea." The poines stood up straighter and leaned forward slightly. "If I were this guy, I'd make my fortress or base near the center of this place. That way some wandering ponies wouldn't discover me. No shit Sherlock. I'll be honest, I kinda thought this the whole time, but it seemed too dangerous for you guys..." One of the ponies tilted their head at me.

"How could it be more dangerous? We've already faced some undead..." The mare asked curiously.

"Well, think about it. If you were this guy, wouldn't you keep more powerful undead near yourself for protection?" The ponies seemed to think about this for a moment before sharing nods and a few murmers of agreement. "Right, so if we get closer, it's more likely you all will die..."

"Do you think we care?" Another mare spoke up.

"Well, when you put it that way... LEROOOOOOOOOOYYYYYY JENKINS!" I ran off into the Forbidden Realm. I had taught them all the Leroy Jenkins call a few days ago as a joke. With a grin, they all drew their weapons and charged after me further into the dark. The skeletons around us chattered nervously as I ran through them quickly. The ponies followed closely behind, likely afraid of being left in the dark. After a while we slowed to a stop and laughed to each other about our ridiculous behavior. We walked more ordely after that, keeping together and staying on guard.

"So Sharky, what do you think is the next thing we'll find?" Anubis asked me.

"What makes you think I'll know?"

"Well, you're pretty good at fighting... and really good at thinking like the enemy... and you seemed to know a little about undead..."

"Well, I'm not really that great of a fighter. I just... react you know... Thinking like the enemy huh? It's just common sense... I used to play a lot of chess, maybe that's it. How do you figure I know about undead?"

"Well, call me crazy, but if everypony's reaction was as well-trained as yours, we'd be a warrior race. Also, you play chess? I heard of the game, never really tried it though. You never really said anything about knowing undead, but you seemed to know an awful lot about the Forbidden Realm for somepony unfamiliar with our legends..."

"Warrior race? Heh, I see you have a knack for exaggeration. Well, chess is a really good strategy game. I'll have to teach you to play someday. As to knowing about this place... I talk to a dragon every once in awhile and she mentioned a realm for undead. I see now that she was talking about this place.." Anubis stopped midstride and stared at me.

"... Did you just say you speak with a dragon?"

"Huh? Well yeah."

"Casually?!"

"Do I speak with the dragon casually? Yeah. She's a good friend of mine."

"... Every single moment you speak, you become all the more amazing." Anubis smiled at me broadly. "I can't believe the things you do!"

"What, speaking with a dragon? She's a nice dragon! It's not all the impressive."

"It's incredibly impressive!" Another pony piped up from behind me. I turned to see a light pink unicorn mare with glasses and a white mane gazing at me with adoration. Her cutie mark was a dragon wing. "Kind dragons are soooo rare! I've been wanting to meet one my whole life!"

"Your whole life huh?" I chuckled a little at the mare's overabundance of excitement. "I'll tell you what, I'll take you to meet Esmerelda after we finish this job, ok?"

"Really?! That would be fantasti-- ... What's that?" The mare pointed a hoof behind me. I turned around to see what she was pointing at.

"Hey, that looks like a pony!" Anubis shouted. He was correct. There was a pony right at the outer edges of the circle. As soon as Anubis shouted, the pony turned towards our group. It appeared to be a stallion. He was wearing golden armor similar to that of Celestia's royal guards. His coat was mostly white, but it was stained with spots of red around his mouth and hooves.

"What's wrong with him?" I heard Spot Light ask behind me. The pony was letting out low moans and stumbling towards us. As he got closer, I saw that his eyes were really balls of black flame.

"Everypony, get into battle formation!" I shouted. I turned to look at the company, but they were all blinking at me blankly. I sighed. "Get into the formation that you did when you fought the skeletons!"

"Oh!" They exclaimed all together as they scambled to get into position.

"Why? What's going on?" Anubis asked as he got into position behind a spear mare.

"That's a zom... pony. He may look like a pony, but he's really an undead."

"Ah yes, I believe I've heard of such things. What do you know about them?"

"They should be slow and stupid if what I've learned is correct. Thank you video games. However, they should be strong and more damage resistant than skeletons. The only way to really kill these guys is to destroy the brain."

"Wow, you really do have fantastic knowledge of the undead!"

"Yeah yeah, quit the kissing up and focus on not dying! What he hasn't told you yet is that even the smallest bite from these things, and you'll be one of them." The company gasped fearfully.

"Just a bite?!" The dragon-loving mare exclaimed. I blinked at her blankly.

"Just a bite of what?"

"Look!" Anubis yelled in response. I turned back to the first zompony, and even more were trailing out of the blackness. Some of them looked like soliders, but more looked like civilians. There were one or two with weapons jutting out of their sides. One was missing a back leg. In total, there were about five visible and more still appearing. What Anubis was pointing out though, was that the first one was leaning out to bite me.

"Gah!" I jumped back and whipped the Buster Sword around to smash his head with the flat of the blade. A magic wrapped dagger flew forward before my blow could land, spearing the zompony's head. The flames in his eyes extinguished and the green aura-wrapped dagger retreated from his skull. I looked to the unicorns and Anubis threw me a quick salute. "Thanks!"

"No problem, let's get this going!"

"You got it, ok everypony! Looks like my axe isn't strong enough to repel these things! That means we get to fight our way to the middle of this place from here on out! Fucking great. Well, at least we get to kill shit." The group didn't bother to turn and respond to me, they all simply held their positions and nodded. I turned to the nearest zompony and sliced at it's head. The head rolled away from the body. The body limply fell to the ground, but the head kept rolling toward me. A spear appeared and stabbed through the head. I nodded to the spear pony as she shook off the skull with a smile.

"Ok, everypony follow my lead and walk forward!" Anubis yelled above the growing moans of the zomponies. There were at least 20 more zomponies in the circle of light now, and they didn't seem to be stopping anytime soon. Anubis started a slow shuffle forward through the zomponies, spears and swords cutting a merciless path. I followed alongside the main group, making sure to share the point of my sword with any zompony dumb enough to come within my range. The group retained remarkable focus on the enemy, obviously not wanting to end up like poor Lime Light.

"Man, do you know what would be amazing right now?" I asked as I sliced a zompony's head in two.

"What is that?" Anubis gasped as he double-stabbed a zompony through each of it's flaming eyes.

"If I could play some music! I know a song that would totally fit this..."

"Well, think of it later. We need to focus at the moment."

"Right, well said Anubis... At least we're doing much better now than we did against the skeletons..."

"Ah!" A mare shrieked in pain. I turned to see a blue mare with a zompony's jaw latched on her foreleg. "Get it off, get it off!" She wailed. She flailed around, striking nearby allies as well as the zompony gnawing on her leg. She quickly was seperated from the group. She screamed helplessly as the zomponies started to zero in on her, targeting the easy meal rather than the fighting group. The group turned to me expectantly.

"... Well? Aren't you going to go save her?" Spot Light spoke up as the zomponies neared the mare.

"I can't. Even if I got all of them away, she'd turn into a mindless killing machine just like them in a matter of hours. Maybe less."

"Well you can't just leave her like that!" Anubis shouted. "Do something!" I sighed shakily.

"There's only one thing I can do to make this easier for her... and I really don't want to do it... Yeah, and I'm not too sure you want him to either."

"Well, do it!" Another stallion shouted. "You can't let her suffer like that!"

"Fine..." I sighed. "Remember, you asked me to do this. Wow, he's actually going to do it." I hefted my sword and started a reluctant jog towards the mare. At least three different zomponies were ripping mouthfuls of flesh off of her in their slow manner as she screamed. I flinched and hastened my pace towards her. The zomponies were totally oblivious to my approach because of their squirming meal. I made short work of them, splitting their skulls before sending their heads rolling away from their bodies. The mare looked up at me with pain and tears in her eyes.

"Please! Make it stop!" She shreiked. I turned my head away from her and closed my eyes as I brought the Buster Sword down on her dying body. She let out a sudden gasp before becoming entirely silent. I raised the Buster Sword with a shuddering hand only to become sick as I realized the mare's body was still attached to the blade. I gave it a quick shake and her body fell to the ground. I turned away from her and back to the group. They were all gaping at me with disgust.

"Focus on the fucking enemies you morons! Guys, look out!" More zomponies continued pouring out of the shadows, quickly closing in on the distracted group. My warning was too late. The zomponies bit into a stallion and two more mares before the rest were able to get their senses back. The unlucky ones were dragged away from the main group and swarmed. I screamed in rage and split an approaching zompony clear down the middle with the entirety of the Buster Sword. I swung around again and removed the head of another zompony, taking care to stomp the head in before I roared and chared towards the ponies being eaten. I reached the first pony, the stallion. Only two had gotten to him. I swung down the Buster Sword, removing the back legs of the first zompony as I drew my axe with my left hand and sliced at the head of the second zompony.

"I-it hurts..." The stallion whimpered as the axe contacted the zompony's skull. The zompony let out an in-human shriek as a bright light flowed from the silver moon and into the zompony. The zompony's head was not only destroyed, but it was sliced perfectly and quickly through even the bone with no resistance. Because of this, the power I had put in the swing turned turned out to be far too great. I ended up over-extending myself and leaving my chest wide open for an attack. Luckily the only zomponies near enough to hurt me were either missing legs or re-dead.

"It won't for much longer." I promised as I brought the Buster Sword down in an arc that sliced through the zompony's head and into the stallion's chest. I let the rage in me boil as I struggled not to think about my murdering of innocent ponies. I ran at the next macabre feeding spot, four zomponies in my way this time. I slashed horizontally at the first two with my axe, slicing through them cleanly and quickly through their heads. The other two noticed me and decided to attack me instead of continue eating. The first one leapt at me, but I slammed my gauntlet blade into his face, sending him flying.

"Help me! Help me please!" The mare in the final group of zomponies screamed as I worked on the group I was at. The final zompony of this group tried to bite into my leg, but his teeth met only metal. I sliced at its exposed head and looked to the mare. She was dead already, her chest was torn open and all the organs were unidentifiable. I grimaced and quickly slashed her skull to ensure she would remain dead. The last group was clearing before I could even take my first step towards them. The mare that had been taken by them walked among them now, proving that the disease was much faster than I thought it would be. I gave her now mindlessly moaning form a sad look before running back to the group. Luckily my axe had its own light, because I had run much farther away from the group than I thought. I was almost to them, when I heard a slight swish behind me. I whipped around quickly, Buster Sword outstretched. I contacted something that felt like stone and the impact jarred my arm so badly I was forced to drop the sword in shock. The thing I had hit, was a pony. It was a tan stallion with a red mane. It grinned at me, sharp canines curved over his bottom lip.

"Well, it seems my suprise attack has failed." The stallion's voice sounded ancient and powerful. "No matter, I suppose this will have to do..."

"Oh damn, not more vampires... Bitch, did you just try to sneak up on me?! I'm gonna stab you and turn you into steak!" The pony blinked at me confusedly a few times.

"... Don't you mean stab me with a stake?"

"No. I was planning on beheading you with my somehow blessed axe, but your idea works too."

"What?... Forget it! I've never fed on something like you. Let's see how you taste!" The pony leapt at me, fangs bared and wings outstretched. I met his leap with a right cross to his chin. His jaw felt like iron, but his mouth snapped shut and he flew to the side with the blow. As he landed, two orbs of light flew out of nowhere and started circling me. I held out my axe in front of me as the vampire got back to his hooves and turned to me. He saw me standing there, axe held offensively in both hands with two orbs of light circling me.

"Thank you..." The orbs whispered to me in the voices of the two non-zombified ponies. The other two souls did not appear, leaving me to believe the dead one had moved on... but the last one... it was being held in the zombified mare's new form, doomed to life as a cannabalistic monster. I let out another roar of pain for the fate of the final mare. The vampire flinched and started to look unsure.

"Perhaps... I have made a mistake..."

"I'mma fucking kill you!! You think?" The two orbs joined the axe, intensifing the glow enough to where it was now brighter than all of the unicorn horns. My gaze locked onto the vampire, and I let my rage flow.

"Yes... Let your rage CONSUME you!!"

WARNING

THIS IS A WARNING. I WILL BE CHANGING THE RATING TO MATURE IN 24 HOURS, CLICK YOUR VIEW MATURE BOX OR BE LEFT BEHIND. AND TO ALL OF YOU WHO THINK YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS... REMEMBER THERE ARE TWO THINGS THAT CAN FLAG MATURE.

Fine, I'll Talk

STILL MINORLY CLOPPY. NOT REAL CLOP, BUT THOSE NOT WANTING ANYTHING RELATIVELY CLOSE TO CLOP SHOULD SKIP THIS SECTION. WILL CONTINUE BELOW.

With Spike gone, I nervously cracked open the bathroom door. I saw Twilight exhale heavily and wipe her forehead. Her collar was off, but it was merely thrown on the floor next to the bed. If Spike had come in, there was a small chance, but still a chance, he would've figured it out. Luckily Twilight had talked him away. She panted heavily as she turned to look at me.

"T-that... was close." She gasped. I nodded in agreement.

"Too close. We uhhh.... shouldn't risk that again."

"... We're gonna do it again though."

"Oh yeah, sure. Just uhh... safer. Speaking of which... sorry. I couldn't stop..." I looked down at the floor bashfully as I went to retrieve my pants and boxers.

"Huh? Sorry about what?" Twilight asked raggedly, still trying to catch her breath fully.

"You know... erm... inside...." I stuttered out nervously while I pulled on my clothing. "I guess I kinda failed at the safety thing..."

"Oh! Hee hee hee! I told you I had a plan for that silly! I've gotten potions from Zecora and medecine from Dr. Wooly to prevent any kind of pregnancy or anything else that could happen. I thought it all through!"

"Oh... Well... still should've asked first or something."

"To waste just enough time for Spike to catch us?"

"Good point... Still sorry." I mumbled as I finished dressing myself. Twilight let out a huge sigh. I turned to see her snapping the section of the wall that hid her porn back in place. "By the way, that collar you got for Fang was waaaay too frilly."

"Oh, it didn't look like that when I bought it. I had it modified for me."

"That makes a lot more sense then..."

END OF CLOPPY STUFF. END OF CLOPPY STUFF.

"Right, well now that we're done.... Can I go get my son and play with my pets now?" I asked hopefully. Twilight rolled her eyes and chuckled a little.

"Ok, go ahead..."

"Yes!" I turned around, opened the door, and ran out, almost falling off the steps in my rush. Fang greeted me with a loud series of barks and an almost laughing grin. It almost seemed like he knew exactly what had happened, which he probably did. I saw Robin fly over from the top of the wooden horse head in the middle of the room and perch on my shoulder. "Oh good, we're all here! Time to go get Unity then!"

"Sharky! Wait!" Spike ran out of the kitchen and stopped next to me. "Whew! I didn't even realize you were here!"

"Oh good, I was a bit worried."

"Huh?"

"Nothing. Did you want something?"

"Yeah! Rarity had me stay an extra long time at her house today! We spent the whole time making something for you. She wants you to go get it when you can, ok?"

"Really? What'd you guys make?"

"Huh-uh, can't tell you." Spike teased with a broad grin. "Rarity said not to!"

"Awww c'mon! Are you sure you can't let it slip just this once? Man to man, you know?"

"Nope. I promised!"

"Oh darn! Stopped by a promise. Oh well. I'll stop by after I pick up Unity then. Thanks Spike!"

"No problem." As soon as I finished talking with Spike, I turned, opened the door, and left. I closed the door and turned once more to run of to Fluttershy's house, but I nearly tripped over something. I stumbled, regained my balance thanks to Fang grabbing my hand in his mouth and pulling back, and looked down to see my least favorite maroon news mare.

"No! No no no no no! Leave me alone!" I hissed at her before she could even open her mouth.

"Oh come on, just one little interview?" She begged.

"No! I just want to be left alone. I've already made it clear to all of you that I'm not interested."

"Ok, then how about this? Give me an interview, or I scream and call down all the other reporters in town just waiting to get to you!"

"What?! You wouldn't dare!"

She took in a sharp breath.

"Stop stop! Alright! Fine." I groaned under my breath while the mare smiled triumphantly. "I'll give you an interview... I just have to go get something first, ok?" The mare frowned at my words.

"How do I know you won't just run off, huh?"

"I promise! Look, as you know, that's my house." I pointed to the library. "Just knock on the door and tell whoever answers that I sent you, ok?"

"I want my brother to come too, for pictures of course." The mare motioned back to her cameraman. I hadn't really noticed him before, since he never spoke. He was a pale blue unicorn with a couple of blank photos for a cutie mark. He didn't look like he was supposed to be pale blue, he looked like his coat had faded, not grown that way. He looked really tired too. Now that I thought about it, the maroon mare did too. She was paler than when I had first met her.

"Sure, he can come... just don't take too many pictures. I'm camera shy. Anyway, gotta go bye!" I turned and took off running without another word. Fang took a few seconds to catch up with me and my robin clung to my shoulder stubbornly. I stopped running after a few seconds and slowly turned to look at Fang. "Alright boy, I got a job for you, 'kay?"

He nodded and perked up his ears to show he was listening.

"Go back to the house and sneak in. Keep a careful eye on that lady we just talked to and make sure she doesn't start trying to snoop through the house. If she does, chase her out."

He nodded again and I gave him an affectionate scratch behind the ears.

"Good boy. Go on now." Fang took off as I turned back in the direction of Fluttershy's house. I sprinted all the way to Fluttershy's house to get Unity, and we arrived in about 10 minutes. I knocked on the door and put on my best angry expression to mess with Fluttershy... I was having a little bit of trouble making an angry face though.

"Ugh! Can't even make a simple angry look! You'll never get anywhere like this! Let's see, what makes you mad... Oh! Your friend and marefriend were almost killed by assassins that you still have yet to track down the source of! Does that make you feel like a failure?"

Fluttershy opened the door right as my face finished contorting into a horrific scowl.

"Hey!" I shouted at Ravidos. Fluttershy stumbled and fell backward. She landed roughly on her flanks and curled into a little ball.

"Eeeeeeeeek!" She squeaked in fear. I quickly fixed my face and crouched down next to her.

"Oh geez! Sorry 'Shy! I didn't mean to scare you that bad!" I had wanted to mess with her a little by pretending I was mad she had kept Unity from me, not scare her stiff by screaming in her face. I waved my hands around in distress for a few seconds before doing the only thing I could think to do. I grabbed the statue-like pegasus in my arms and hugged her close to my chest. I stroked her mane soothingly as I held her in an effort to calm her down. I had the urge to caress her and kiss her head, maybe whisper that everything was alright. However, that seemed a bit inappropriate for our current relationship as friends. After a few minutes of hugging her stone-like body, she finally began to loosen up a bit.

"W-w-w-w-wh-why?" She whimpered into my chest, breaking my heart just a tiny bit.

"I didn't mean to frighten you like that Fluttershy... I'm sorry." I took a deep breath and began to explain my intentions. "I just wanted to mess with you a little bit. You know, for keeping my son from me."

"W-w-what y-y-ou did w-w-wasn't f-f-funn-n-ny... Y-you r-r-really sc-scared me..." Heart broke a little more.

"I know, that wasn't what I was planning to do, something went wrong..." I tried to explain weakly.

"W-why w-would you s-s-scare me at a-all?" She was sobbing now, not stuttering. My heart was now a collection of shattered bits and I had never felt like more of a dick.

"I-I didn't want to scare you at all, just mess with you. It was going to be harmless, I swear."

"T-t-then w-what happened?"

I took a deep breath and pondered how to actually explain it. I mean, what was I supposed to say? 'Well, I was actually yelling at a voice that speaks to me in my head.' Actually, that was pretty much the truth. I settled on that.

"Well, I had just wanted to make a mad face at you, but you ended up openeing the door right as I was screaming at a voice that exists only in my head."

"... O-ok, I trust y-you."

"Wait, what? You're not going to ask what I'm talking about or question the sense there?"

"N-no. If you s-say it's true, then it's true. I'm g-glad you weren't trying to frighten me like that." Fluttershy finally fully freed her body of all tenseness and relaxed in my arms. I felt my heart slowly piece itself back together as I released her and stood back up to my full height...

*WHACK* ...which caused me to smack my head on her doorway. I had forgotten I had stepped forward into the house to hold her. It didn't really hurt a lot, but I rubbed the back of my head and winced just the same.

"Are you ok?" Fluttershy asked softly. She didn't sound overly concerned. She sounded a little like she was trying not to laugh, actually.

"Yeah yeah, I'm fine. Anyway, I'm here to get my son back. You shouldn't have kept him from me, by the way." I grumbled as I finished rubbing my head. Fluttershy, instead of going to get Unity, gave me a curious stare.

"Why didn't you get here sooner? I thought for awhile you just weren't going to... umm... you know... do it. Did you... start late... or something?" Fluttershy's entire face was red. I wondered for a brief moment where Unity and the Golems were, but if Fluttershy was ok with talking about this, they likely weren't near.

"Uhhh no, why would you think that? We started almost right after we got your message."

Fluttershy's face grew redder, and her blush spread to her body a tiny bit.

"Oh... D-did you take a nap after?"

"No. Actually, we almost got caught by Spike and then I ran here. What're you getting at?"

"Oh... my..."

"What?"

"Nothing! Nothing... I-I'm next... right?"

"Huh?"

"My week... I'm next, right?" Fluttershy was leaning towards me and staring at me. I hadn't noticed until now.

"Yes. Why?"

"Nothing!" She quickly turned and started walking off into her house.

"Hey! My son!" I shouted after her.

"Just a moment! I'm getting him!"

I sighed and rubbed my eyes to relieve some of the pressure building behind them. Smacking my head on the doorway earlier was starting to give me a headache, and Fluttershy's confusing behavior wasn't helping. Soon enough though, she returned with a little bundle.

"Oh, there he is. Thanks 'Sh--

"Shhhh! He's sleeping!" Fluttershy whispered urgently. I gently placed a hand over my mouth and pinched my Robin's beak shut. She seemed to find me pinching the Robin's mouth shut kinda funny, because she stifled a giggle. She shook her head at me with a smile for a reason only known to her and hoofed Unity over to me. I released my mouth and cradled him with my free arm. I turned to be face-to-face with my robin.

"Wake him up, I will slap you off my shoulder. Got it?" I whispered.

He nodded.

"Good." I let go of his mouth and turned back to Fluttershy with a smile. "Thank you 'Shy. For taking care of him. All the time. I know I don't thank you much for it, but I'm sure you're working really hard and taking really good care of him."

"You're welcome. Any time you need my help, I'd be happy to watch him again. After all, I'm sure Twilight won't mind watching him a few times during our week... or the whole week... That... would be... nice.

"I'm sorry, what was that?" She was so quiet there towards the end I hadn't even heard her.

"Nothing!"

"Alright. I should get going then. Bye." I pivoted and started walking off towards the library.

"You'll understand soon..."

I would have shouted back to ask her what she had said, but Unity was in my arm. I just shrugged and kept walking. I rocked him in my arm a bit as I walked to the house. It suddenly struck me as odd that I had never seen Unity asleep at this hour. Then it suddenly struck me as odd that I hadn't realized it was pretty much night. Suddenly the stresses of the day all caught up to me at once, and I was dead tired. I yawned and stretched carefully so as to not disturb my son. Eventually, I got home and walked in with no trouble. There wasn't a sea of reporters waiting for me. I was ready to crawl into bed and rest, but...

"Oh good! You're here! Now we can start the interview!" The newsmare exclaimed excitedly.

.... "Wh...wh... Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" Unity cried. I placed him on the ground carefully, walked to the nearest wall, and headbutted it.

".... Great." I groaned.

Author's Note

I get the strangest urge to say 'Fu*k yeah motherfu*ker' in this little box. Strange, right?

Jinkies

My first and most important step to finding the stupid bird that took my son was actually finding a way to find him. I decided to gather clues from the only things left behind by the would-be assassin that had gone after Fluttershy. The paper told me nothing, it only made me angrier. I wished I could have analyzed the thickness of the paper and the smell like Sherlock Holmes or something, but I simply couldn't. I moved on to the dagger to see what it could tell me. Again, I could figure out nothing. I looked it over several times, but nothing stood out to me. My mission was over before it even started. In a fit of anger, I tossed the blade across the room.

*thunk*

The dagger, which I had tossed wildly and without care, landed blade first in the wall. I went after it curiously and saw that not only had it hit the wall, but the blade was so sharp that it had sank into the wall all the way down to the hilt. It was strange that the dagger was so... perfect. It was weighted to be thrown point-first perfectly, and amazingly sharpened. I pulled it from the wall and gave it a few swings. I had never used a dagger before, but even the act of swinging it felt smooth and fluid with next to no balance issues to compensate for.

"Who could have possibly made such a high-quality dagger?" I would have also questioned why the common assassin had such a great dagger, but I just assumed 'Byron' had bought it for him. Suddenly, I realized that I was holding my first real clue. There was only one place I had been to with blacksmiths good enough to forge something like this. The same place I had the Buster Sword repaired and met my first dragon.

"Stalliongrad." I whispered to the blade.

If I went there, I would find the pony that made this weapon. Maybe the pony responsible for all the weapons Byron's cronies used. It would only be a matter of time until I found him after that. There was still another problem though. How was I supposed to get to Stalliongrad fast enough to find Byron before he got wise to my plan? Luna could only get me to Rutville, and then I would have to ride a train after that. I stepped out of Fluttershy's house and started walking to the library to get my sword. I thought the whole walk and could only really find one quicker way to Stalliongrad. I reached the library, grabbed my blade, and walked out to see smoke coming from Esmerelda's moutain.

I sighed to myself.

"Looks like I'm going to have to ask Esmerelda to open some old wounds." I admitted to myself.

I hoisted myself onto the ledge next to Esmerelda's cave with ease. My focus and anger let me climb the whole way up the mountain without feeling almost any energy use.

"Sharky! Come quick!" Esmerelda squealed gleefully. I did as she asked and dashed into the cave. She was hunched over the top of her gem pile, where the 15 unhatched eggs sat. She was staring at one in particular, a blue one with green and yellow stripes.

"What's got you so excited?" I asked as I reached the bottom of the pile. The life went out of Esmerelda's giddy voice when she responded.

"Oh nothing... I thought that egg was about to hatch, but it was only a false alarm..." Esmerelda slouched against the back wall disappointedly. She looked at me and brightened up a bit again though. She leaned towards me and mover her massive snout so that she was right in front of me. "I'm glad you showed up anyway though. Sorry to have bothered you. Would you like to stay for a bit? It gets so lonely up here just talking to my eggs..."

"Actually, I did need to talk to you."

Esmerelda's warm breath washed over me as she exhaled, it was kind of nice.

"You see, I need you to help me."

Esmerelda began to breathe in, but stopped mid-breath. Her eyes narrowed and she finished inhaling. She stood up and glared at me a bit.

"Esmerelda?" I asked curiously, wondering why she was suddenly acting so strange. She ignored me and began sniffing me while her expression grew increasingly dark. "What's wrong? Do I smell or something?"

"You... you lying... BASTARD!" Esmerelda screamed in my face. I took a few surprised steps back and nearly fell into the gem pile.

"W-what?!"

"Abstinent you said, I have a marefriend you said..." Esmerelda swatted me away from the gem pile. I was unprepared for the blow, so it did a good job of smacking me across the cave. Before I could stand or even really move, Esmerelda was over me, pressing a talon against my chest to pin me down. "Lies!"

"Esmerelda, what the heck are you--"

"Shut up you jerk!" she cried. "I see how you are now! You just played with my emotions so that I wouldn't force anything on you! Made me love you, care for you, then shut me down. I still loved and cared for you though! I didn't force myself on you! It was all just a game for you though, wasn't it?! Because apparently you saw it fit to fuck some other dragon whore right after turning me down!"

"Esmerelda, that's not--"

"Am I just not good enough for you?! Not pretty enough?! Not experienced enough for the high-and-mighty hero of Equestria?!"

Instead of trying to talk again, I grabbed the talon pressed against my chest. With only a minor effort, I overpowered her one talon and slid it off my chest. Before she could pin me again, I leapt on to her snout, which she had held right in front of me, and thumped her right between the eyes.

"Bitch shutup and let me talk! Be quiet you whiny lizard! I'm trying to explain!"

Esmerelda snorted and tried to pry my off of her nose, but I held on tightly. "Fine, the explain why it's ok to fuck cheap sluts, but not somepony that really loves you!" she shoughted haughtily.

"Easy. I didn't fuck her, she raped me. My second night in the Arena was split between 16 different girls, and she was the only one I couldn't stop." I figured she smelled the dragoness from that night on me still somehow. It seemed that I was right, because Esmerelda suddenly lost all the fight in her eyes.

"... Oh." Esmerelda breathed out.

"Yeah, 'oh'. Now would you quit trying to smack me around?" Esmerelda lowered her eyes shamefully and nodded, shaking me around like a doll. I released her snout and fell to the ground below her. "Good."

"I'm s-sorry..." she mumbled without looking at me. "I really thought there for a moment that you had turned around and.... I should have known you're better than that..."

"Honest mistake, I understand. If I thought something like that had happened, I would have been pissed too."

"I-I.... I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions... Even if you do reek of dragon juice."

"Is it really that bad?"

"Don't worry, it only smells so strong to other female dragons. We can do it to mark a male as our property or partner."

"She marked me?"

"Afraid so..."

"What the... how the hell do I get rid of it?!"

"Well, you either bathe in lava..."

"That ain't goin' down."

"Or get marked by another dragoness to overwrite the other's scent."

"Nope, not happening. I'll just live with it for now. Anyway, I had something very important to ask!"

"Of course, anything!" Esmerelda offered graciously.

"Good, I need you to fly me to Stalliongrad."

"Except that." she squeaked quickly.

"Oh come on Esmerelda! I need your help!"

"I can't do that Sharky..."

"Why not?!"

"I hurt those ponies... Sure, it wasn't exactly my fault but... they hate me. I can't face them now! All those ponies that died because of me will never be forgotten..."

"Esmerelda, please, I really need your help on this. My son was kidnapped. The only clue I could find leads to Stalliongrad."

"W-why not have that princess boss of yours get you there?"

"It would take too long. You're the only one that can get me to where I need fast enough."

"Ooooooohhh..... Fine, I'll do it... but you owe me mister!" Esmerelda finally agreed.

"Deal. Now let's get going!" I shouted eagerly.

Esmerelda reluctantly made her way over to the ledge of the cave and lowered herself for me to climb on. I leapt off the ground and onto her back with a little effort. The moment I sat down, Esmerelda flung herself out of the cave and into the afternoon light.

No matter how much I asked, Esmerelda simply wouldn't fly me within a mile to the actual town. She set down a small distance away and made me run the rest of the way. In any case, I made it to the town in a grand total time of only about three hours. The ponies of the town didn't run away from me this time, but they didn't run to swarm me either. Rather they regarded me with a silent appreciation, then continued on their way. I liked this much better than the over-the-top adoration I normally got. I caught the attention of the first pony I got close to and started questioning him. It was a stallion.

"Excuse me, sir?" I asked politely. The stallion had been walking away from me, but he turned to face me.

"Da?"

I whipped out the dagger I had taken from the assassin and held it out in the palm of my hand non-threateningly. "Do you recognize this craftsmanship? I'm fairly sure a dagger like this could only be made here."

The stallion took the dagger and examined it closely. "Dis vas made by Smelt Fireheart. See his crest?" the stallion pointed to a little flame in a circle on the hilt of the blade. "He is a fine smith, even among us. Zat is good blade, you're either lucky or rich to have it."

"Could you point me to this Smelt? I'd like to speak to him."

"Ja. He is on the north side of town in ze large stone shop. Good luck." the stallion took his cue to leave and I stood back to my full height and took off in the direction the stallion had pointed out. I eventually found the largest stone shop on the north side of the town and walked in. Sure enough, there was a muscular stallion at work in the heated forge, pounding away at some blade.

"Are you Smelt?" I shouted out over the pounding sound. The stallion nodded, but didn't turn from his work. I waited patiently for a few minutes, figuring he was just about to finish a new piece of work. My patience was rewarded when he dunked the blade into a large container of water and turned to me.

"Vat you vant?" he asked in a bored tone. "I have a large order to complete."

I stabbed his dagger into the wooden counter that divided the forge and entrance.

"I want to know who bought this dagger." I answered simply. Smelt snorted.

"You vill have to be more specific zan zat. Zis is only a common dagger of my making. I know nothing of the details of who purchased it."

"Alright, let me see if I can make this dagger a bit more recognizeable."

I ripped the blade out of the counter and grabbed the stallion by the throat. I lifted him into the air and held the dagger right in front of his face.

"Let me make one thing perfectly clear. My son is in trouble. I am going to find him, no matter what. You do not want to mess with a desperate father. Now, think real hard. Do you think you know this dagger better now? If not, I'll be happy to see if you remember it better while looking at it with only one eye."

The stallion grunted a few times and flailed a little. He seemed a bit more willing to help now.

"Oh ja, I zink I remember zomething now. Z-zere vas a very large order of zese daggers ordered in Los Pegasus just a few months ago. I can give you an address for ze order..."

I dropped the stallion and he rubbed his throat.

"Glad you made the right choice. I'm sorry, I need to find out where the one that took my son went."

"Vhatever. I didn't ever like zat customer anyhow. Too pushy, too pompus. Always on about kings or zomething."

The stallion gave me the address I needed and I left him with another apology. I ran back to Esmerelda as quickly as possible and hopped back onto her back.

"We're getting closer to that Byron bastard Esmerelda. Next stop is Los Pegasus. Let's get moving before that cowardly pussy-chicken runs away."

Esmerelda took off eagerly without question, likely happy to be leaving this place of bad memories. I could feel my rage boiling as we got closer and closer to Los Pegasus. For some reason, I got the feeling that I wouldn't find Byron there. That wasn't going to stop me though...

Byron had angered a super human and made me a desperate father. Hell had a new type of fury, and I was going to introduce him to it personally.

Author's Note

Made it. I'm gonna get working on tomorrow's chapter now.

Talk About It

Luna got me to calm down and sit through the rest of the play after a bit of coaxing. I fidgeted nervously for the duration of the performance while my mind went berserk trying to figure out what this all meant.

This is nuts! A fictional character killed my target? What on earth does that even mean?! It's not possible... so it can't be true, right? I looked back at the performance just in time to see "Lightning Blade" paint another lightning bolt. It has to be... I mean, who else would've done it? I shook my head. Thinking on it by myself would get me nowhere. The simple fact was that I didn't have enough information yet to figure this out on my own. As painful as it was, I sat for a while with a whirlwind of questions tearing through my mind.

Luna noticed my stressed look and gently shook my shoulder. "Hey, are you ok? Do we need to leave?"

"No, you enjoy your play." I denied forcefully. Luna looked at the play, then back to me a few times. She slowly stood up from her spot on the sofa.

"I tire of this performance. Let's go."

I gave Luna a grateful smile and followed her out of the theater as quietly as possible to avoid disturbing the other viewers.

As soon as we left the theater, Luna leaned in close to me to whisper, "What's wrong? Why were you so disturbed by the events of the play?"

"I'm not necessarily disturbed; It would be better to say I'm just very confused."

"Why?" Luna asked as we stepped out of the theater and back into the public eye. I knew in a matter of mere minutes there would be a crowd again.

"I don't want to talk about it right now." I proceeded to walk towards the castle.

"Hey, wait!" Luna jogged a few steps to catch up to me. "Please, you can tell me."

"Luna, I said I don't want to talk about it." I could feel myself slowly becoming irritated.

"Sharky, I insist. You can tell me anything, even if it seems silly."

"Luna!" I shouted, finally losing my patience. "I told you I don't want to talk about it!" I turned to face her with an angry expression. Luna looked shocked, and maybe a little hurt. I leaned in close to whisper to her. "I don't want to discuss this in public, Luna."

I turned on my heel away from her and continued towards the castle. The crowd around us was muttering, and I heard more cameras flashing, but I ignored them entirely. Eventually we reached the gates of the castle.

"Hey, open up!" I barked angrily. The guards at the front of the gate scrambled about as if awakened from some day dream. "Pfft, they call this security?" I scoffed at the bumbling guards. "Pathetic."

"Sharky!" one of them shouted dazedly. "Uhh... what business do you have here?"

"None of your goddamn business! Open the gate!" I ordered irritably.

"H-hey! You can't tell me what t--"

I literally vanished from my spot in a single movement and appeared in front of the guard. I grabbed the rim of his breastplate right beneath his neck and lifted him just off the ground. The metal began to feel warm in my hands. "I said open the gate. Bitch."

"O-ok!" he squeaked as I let go of him. He hit the ground with a small metal clatter and motioned to the second guard frantically. I'd never seen the gates open faster. Luna finally caught up to me and stood by my side.

"Sharky, what was that about?" she asked with a harsh tone. I clucked my tongue and turned to the guard.

"He insulted me, that's all."

"Oh?" Luna asked, her tone suddenly turning cold as she looked at the guard. "Shall I have him disciplined?"

I shook my head. "No, I think he's learned his lesson." I turned to glare at the guard. "Haven't you?"

The guard shook his head very, very quickly. "Y-yes s-sir I have!"

I nodded at him. "Good." Luna and I continued into the castle grounds until we reached our special spot in the gardens.

"Alright, then what's all your strange behavior in the theater about?" Luna asked once more.

"Hold on, let me make sure nopony's here." I left for a brief moment to search the immediate area. When my search turned up empty-handed, I returned to Luna. I used the time I searched to calm down a little, I was abnormally angry for some reason. I couldn't even really remember what had set me off. Luna was waiting with a rather impatient look on her face when I returned.

"Well? Will you finally tell me what's going on?"

"Alright Luna, it's like this. You remember that time I was on Hoofalulu while the volcano was erupting?"

"Yes, I do. I meant to ask you why you were there, but the events of the moment proved rather... distracting."

"Well I was tracking a wealthy, evil gryffin that was trying to have my friends and family killed."

Luna's eyes narrowed and she had a suddenly hostile air about her. Her horn began to glow and the wind around us whipped up. I ignored the pain the sudden rush of magic caused and waited for her to speak. "Give me his name. Nopony shall threaten those I care about!"

"Whoa, geez! Interesting words coming from the one that constantly hurls me at monsters." I joked. The air died down and Luna seemed to be at a loss for words.

"I... Well that's..."

"Easy Luna, I don't mind being hurled at monsters in all honesty. Feels good to be helping the citizens of Equestria. Anyway, back to the matter at hoof. I found the gryffin I was looking for. He was dead when I got there." I paused for a few seconds and looked Luna dead in the eye. "There was a lightning bolt painted above his head."

"Ah! I see then, you think that means Lightning Blade had something to do with this then." Luna concluded with a teasing smile. "You think he jumped out of the book and got him, do you?" Luna asked as she broke out into laughter. I felt my anger spike again.

"It's not funny Luna! I'm serious!"

"S-sharky..." *hee hee* Luna began after a few more seconds of laughter. "You remember the cult you have?"

"Well... yeah, why?"

"They want to emulate you and be heroes as well?" Luna continued.

"Yes, and?"

"It's basically the same thing. Some crazy pony out there is a huge fan of the series and decided to off somepony they thought would start doing bad things soon. It happens every once in a while. There's nothing we can do to stop that."

I blinked at her a few times and eventually ended up pressing my fingers against my temples to try and keep calm. "Luna... He was a wealthy gryffin that had hired armies worth of assassins to try and take me and my friends out. Not only that, but he likely was expecting me to come after him. The security at this place had to be phenomenal. No common crazy pony could've done this."

Luna shrugged. "Then maybe it was a very skilled crazy pony. Better yet, it could've been one of his own guards that was a fan of the book."

"Luna... Look, there were no other corpses when I got there. If it had been a skilled pony, even as skilled as me, there would be gryffin corpses. If it were a guard that turned on him, other guards would've attacked him and either his corpse or the other guards' corpses would've been there."

"Sharky, you're thinking way to hard on this. Look, for all we know he could've cut himself and painted the bolt before committing suicide. There are many different things that could've happened. However, a fictional character killing a real gryffin does not rank high on the list of probable events."

I let out a long sigh and shrugged. "I guess you're right, Luna. It just... it felt like I was suddenly so close to my answer, but still so far away. I guess now I'm just plain far away."

Luna trotted over to my side and leaned against me. "Why are you even looking for the answer anyway? The way I see it, it only matters that the bad guy is gone."

"I just... I gotta know who did it! I don't even know if I wanna shake his hoof/talon or punch him for stealing my kill."

"Well... if it makes you feel better, I can see about getting statements from the ponies that were in the area of the island near the area you found the gryffin in. Maybe somepony saw the culprit coming or leaving."

I smiled down at Luna and hugged her neck. "You'd do that for me?"

"Of course, anything for you..." Luna mumbled airily, as if she were barely even speaking. She was looking up at me with half-closed eyes, lips slightly parted. She reminded me of Twilight somehow, but I couldn't quite remember when I had seen Twilight like this. I cleared my throat awkwardly and stepped away.

"So... uhhh... Sorry for interrupting the play." I mumbled, quickly changing the topic. I could feel myself blushing, though I couldn't for the life of me figure out why. Luna took an awkward step away as well.

"Oh... 'twas not that important anyhow." Luna muttered.

"..."

"..."

"Sooo..." I started, breaking the awkward silence before it could set in. "What're we doing next?"

"Well, there was that carnival, or we could talk..." she offered weakly. I knew there was no way we were going to talk after whatever awkward thing that just happened had happened.

"Well that carnival sounds fun! Let's go to that." I stated cheerily in an effort to clear the mood. Luna nodded with equal vigor, doing her part to clear the atmosphere as well.

"Agreed, it has been a while since I engaged in normal festivities anyway."

"Alright then, lead the way." I bowed slightly and gestured for her to go on with a wave of my arms. Luna giggled and started walking towards the gates again. All I had to do to get the gates open this time was look at the guards and they began stumbling over themselves in a rush to open the gate.

"Get your acts together!" Luna ordered testily. "It looks bad when the guards literally scramble to open the gate. It's just plain unprofessional."

The guards nodded nervously, and I couldn't help but feel a little bad for them. Luna and I had made life pretty shitty for them in a rather short amount of time. However, she was right. Their only job was to open and close the gate, and they were being sloppy about it. There was no excuse, really.

Luna and I continued on our merry way through the gate. After a few minutes of walking, we finally reached a wide, open area with lots of mechanical rides and lots of game booths set up. There was a unicorn in uniform near every ride, so it was obvious they were magically powered.

"Hey Luna! Look!" I shouted excitedly as I pointed at a "Test Your Strength" booth. It was a classic little hammer and bell setup, but the height of the booth was ridiculous.

"Would you like to give it a shot?" Luna asked with a laugh already in her voice. I nodded eagerly and jogged over to the booth. I looked around for a few seconds until I found an earth pony that I assumed ran the booth.

"Hey! How much for a try?" I asked as politely as possible. The earth pony mare looked up at me and gawked.

"Uhh... I-I dunno if you can fairly play the game Mr. Hero..." she stuttered out. "Ummm... hold on one second." the mare ran off and I gave Luna a questioning look. Luna shrugged in response. Not too long after, the mare returned with a few unicorns. Then she lugged a very large-looking hammer over to me. I hefted it off the ground with minimal effort.

"Wow, surely this can't be the same hammer everypony uses..."

"No..." *pant* "I had to get a special one..." *pant* "The other ones are too small."

"Alright then. So, what's up with all the unicorns?"

"They're here to make it fair!" The mare explained simply. Five magic barriers appeared above the target I was supposed to hit with the hammer. "You have to break all these barriers and still manage to ring the bell to get a prize."

There were a few large stuffed animals on display, but I couldn't really decide what to get myself. There were large dragons, fish, a big carrot, giant bunny, and even a wolf. "There's a shockingly large amount of 'dangerous' animals here..." I muttered to myself. I turned to the mare. "Alright, when I win... This mare here gets to pick whichever one she wants, got it?" I said as I pointed back to Luna. The mare's eyes went wide.

"L-Luna?!"

"Alright, here goes!" I shouted as I hefted the hammer up.

"..."

"..."

"You know, I don't think it was entirely necessary to shatter the game." Luna giggled.

"Ok, you got me. Maybe I was showing off a little..." I admitted bashfully as I handed the mare the bits necessary to replace the broken game. "Hey, at least this is a good start, right?

"I'll say!" Luna agreed as she hugged her giant stuffed carrot. I walked over to her and draped my arm over her back.

"Come on, let's go see what else we can break!" I cheered giddily as Luna and I charged off into the unsuspecting carnival.