Magic Fortress

by AppleTank

Rating: teen
Tags: Queen Chrysalis, Crossover, Twilight Sparkle, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Alternate Universe, Princess Luna, Team Fortress, Science Fiction
Length: 15424

Today, TF Foundries present you with the most powerful persons of Equestria. Nine carefully selected individuals of varying strengths and abilities, brought together just for you. Today, it's time to Meet the Team

This is TF Foundries, proud producer of things great and small. We offer cutting edge tools and materials for your everyday needs, such as pans, bats, chainsaws, shotguns, rifles, explosives, high explosives, chaotic-explosives, and our best known product, hired guns.

Thank you for visiting TF Foundries. Today, we are happy to present to you some of the most powerful persons Equestria has to offer. Let us Meet the Team.

And once again: Welcome. Welcome to TF Foundries.

Notes:
1) TF Foundries should be enough to let you figure out what crossover it is.
2) This was supposed to be a Meet the Team parody, until I accidentally gave it a disjointed plot. Expect the interviews to start getting stranger and stranger.
3) Cookie to whoever gets where I ripped the last line of the Description from.
4) Thanks for Aziraphael, _Medicshy, Skeeter_The_Lurker and Appletank for looking this over
5) Ponies are Hasbro's and Faust's, and other disclaimer thingies. Team Fortress 2 is Valve's and other disclaimer thingies.
6) Sorry for the image quality. Going to the source will make it look much better.
7) This is a Team Fortress Crossover

Published 2013-09-14 03:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-11-30 07:13:57 UTC

1. Meet the Heavy

Meet the Heavy

A low grumbling noise is heard as the camera-pony struggled to stand up her camera. “There you go,” she grumbled. “We can start now, sir.”

“Urg,” a voice replied

A large, black stallion with a blood red horn walked in, levitating a massive automatic cannon at his side. He dropped the weapon on a pile of cardboard boxes in front of him.

“Ah am King Sombrah. Ah carry heavy weapons for team *cough*. Excuse me.”

I slid over a cup of water, which he drank and nodded appreciatively

“This here,” he continued, rubbing the top of the weapon, “is a modified rotary mah-sheen gun. It weighs less than the sun princess’s plot. Many look like it, but I ‘ave madified its firing meh-kanism to shoot my-. *Cough* Sorry for my voice,” he wheezed, “But for ssome reason, my throuht feels very drah todah.”

He drank some more water

“As I was saying, I have a slight affinity to crystals, so I decided to use custom made crystahl shards for ammunition, or other rocks. I summon ‘em with...” his horn glowed and for some reason, the glass of water besides him started glowing. A few seconds later, particulates formed out of the water, forming a small crystal cube. He levitated it out, his face blank, oblivious to the small cloud of sparkles drifting out of his mouth.

“Who did this,” he growled. “Who dares prank the [ex] King of the Crystal Empire!? I will ENSLAVE YOUR SOUL AND DROP YOU INTO YOUR OWN PERSONAL NIGHTMARE: ENDLESS TOIL UNDER ME!”

I tried to stop him but he just ran off into the building. I think I heard someone snickering.

Cadence walked in a bit later, her horn glowing. An aura surrounded Sombra’s head, giving him a dazed appearance. She looked bored and mildly annoyed about it, sitting down with a huff and pulling out a magazine to read as she set Sombra down back at the interviewing table.

“Weapon Statistics,” he droned. “120 kilograms. Fires crystals summoned from my magic or the environment. Acts like flechettes. Rate of Fire, twenty rounds a second.”

When Sombra stopped talking, Cadence stood back up and stretched with a cute yawn. She looked disdainfully at the dazed dark unicorn and stepped out.

“Oh ho ho, ha haha!” Sombra chuckled. “That was good time. Ponies think that because Sombra was defeated once, that he will be an easy target next time. If they think that..” he levitated a small cloud of crystal shrapnel. “They better think faster than a speeding bur’let.

He flung the shards around the poor interviewer, leaving the mare squeaking in surprise and fear.

“Don’t worry, miss,” he said, carelessly depositing the crystals back into the weapons drum. “I’m not contracted to hurt you. But to those that are...

“Woo-hoo, can’t catch me,” Firefly called, effortlessly dodging the cloud of ammunition. But as try as she might, she couldn’t get close enough to do enough damage for her to clear the way. Suddenly, a large hoof pushed her to the side.

“Step aside, little pony. Time to let big pony and big gun to finish the job,” Sombra rumbled, his fluorescent eyes cutting through the dark.

She grumbled something about stupid muscle but he ignored it. Sometimes, they didn’t want to admit their own weakness. He slowly walked to the clearing, levitating a massive rotary machine gun behind him.

“You have chosen wrong occupation,” he said, rising to his rear hooves and stabilizing the gun by wrapping his forehooves around the handles. The barrels spun, whirring.

“Take him down!” the guards cried. Bullets streamed towards the dark figure, but passed through him. The only indication that the guards were aiming correctly were the small clouds of smoke that puffed out behind him.

He raised his head. “My turn.” RATATATATATATATA “Eeyaaaaaaaahhh!” he roared. Clouds of gleaming shards tore through their bodies. Despite some of them missing, the fragmentation effect was enough to peg some of them, leaving them screaming in pain. “AAAAHHHHH HA HA HA HA HA!” the dark king roared in amusement, “Cry some more!”

Author's Note

Ending Flourish

2. Meet the Scout

Meet the Scout
Firefly crouched inside a tree, watching the fortress from afar. Ever few minutes, she either glanced at the sun or her watch. When the sun was only a sliver in the sky, she put away her watch and slid a double barreled shotgun off her back.

“Mission Start,” went her ear piece.

She grinned, pumped the lever action on her shotgun once, and shot out of the tree.

Firefly waved her hooves at me. “Really? You’re asking me who I am? Do you ever look up history about famous ponies? I’m right in there, its pretty big.”

I’m sorry, but these are required questions for this interview

The pink pegasus groaned, dropping her head onto the table. “Ugh. Fine. I’ll repeat the basics of my awesomeness for the rest of you mortals to hear.” She went into a backroom and pulled out a giant sign, reading “Meet the Scout.” She reared up in front of it and patted a hoof against her chest, smirking proudly. “I’m Firefly, the fastest pegasus in history.”

She zoomed up to the fence at a few hundred miles an hour and with a powerful kick shattered the magic shield surrounding the factory. With a quick double burst, she destroyed the security cameras that watched the sector.

“Shields down in the Southeast section,” she said into her headpiece. She pushed the mic away from her face. Out of the corner of her eyes she saw a small group of security ponies running out towards her. She made a face at them and shot around the compound, easily evading their potshots. “Missed me, missed me, now you gotta kiss me!” she taunted.

“Kinda important, ya know? Those myths about the Sonic Rainboom? I started them.” She landed back on all fours and raised her wings. “Want a demonstration? Watch this.” Tiny arcs of electricity arced through her fur. Her eyes shimmered a bit, along with a slight aura around her wings. Bits of the concrete floor flew in all directions from the shockwave from her kick off as she blasted off into the sky, knocking the interviewer and her camera over.

Firefly zoomed circles around the compound, causing general havoc. With a quick flip of her hoof, she ejected two spent shells and loaded another two from the double tubular magazine underneath. I gotta thank Twilight for this, she thought, concerning how her weapons was basically two shotguns fused together. Smart girl. She looked back at the compound. Fences were ripped, broken glass lay everywhere, and there were few fires from some vehicles she attacked. Huh, she thought. She squinted at the rooftop. Is that a communication array?

“Surrender pegasus, we have you surrounded!” Firefly glanced at the charging security force. For once, they brought some pegasi and some unicorns to guard the top of their box-in. She couldn’t count how many times pursuers forgot she had wings, allowing her to simply zoom off into the sky. At least this time, she had a challenge. She sat down on her haunches, using her weapon’s wide barrels to hide her hoof loading six custom made, low velocity high load shells.

Click clack went the multitude of weapons pointed at her.

She smirked underneath her bangs, slowly putting both hooves on the handle. A translucent aura covered her wings. “Too late.”

Bltz-crack!

Suddenly, Firefly appeared a foot to her left, the shotgun over her shoulder. “Bonk!” A line of guards suddenly fell over in pain, clutching wounds caused by the nearly horizontal moving shells.

She smiled proudly across the table at the messy looking interviewer, completely ignoring her scowl. “I can not be contained. The hurricane goes where the hurricane wants,” she boasted. “Did you know, during the age I lived in, monsters attacked our cities on a regular basis? We didn’t have any access to powerful magics or technology, yet I still survived it all. Heck, I did better than that...”

Crack!

She stood outside the circle, crouching with the shotgun behind her right shoulder as a cluster of pegasi fell from the sky. “Boop!”

She admired her wings under the glow of a skylight. “Oh yeah. Look at these babies. Beautiful, aren’t they?”

*Facehoof*

She flipped the lever, ejecting a pair of smoking shells. With another sudden burst of speed, she completely plowed through the guards, knocking them senseless from the close ranged shockwave of another Rainboom. “Boink!”

“Bam!” she yelled, throwing out a punch at invisible targets. She cackled madly.

I really wanna strangle her.

Author's Note

3. Meet the Demoman

Meet the Demoman
’The heck? “The Bar”? This doesn’t look like a bar at all!’ I complained to myself. It took me at least half an hour to find the place because I was told he often worked in “The Bar” and I had ignored this place because the front window was filled with instant noodles, bread rolls, cheap plastic toys, and other knick knacks.

The interviewer unhappily stomped into the store.

“What makes me a good Demoman?” The mismatched creature was sitting on a stool, stroking his chin. “I’m not sure. I like big booms. That’s pretty much it.” He shrugged. “They just asked me if I want a job that actually entails screwing around with everything as long as I follow certain orders, so I ... believe I accepted right away. Kinda fuzzy around there.” He grabbed a can of chocolate milk from under the counter and drank from it. “But hey, its a relaxing job, organized chaos. Not exactly my type of lunch, but at least I don’t get Rainbow’ed."

Discord sat in a darkened room, silently nursing a glass bottle. A star filled mane wavered beside him. “Can I have some water?” she asked. Discord grunted slightly woozily and handed over the bottle. After a moment: “Thanks,” the bottle floating back in a light blue haze.

“Ugh,” he grumbled to himself. “All this non-chaos is making me itchy.” He pulled a grenade launcher from hammerspace and popped the chambers open. Two of the chambers were noticeably cleaner and less worn. He pulled out a grey grenade and drank from it, dumping sprinkles and silicon chips out of it.

The runes in the corner glowed and blinked in a pattern. “Ah. Finally.” He wiped some bits off his face, which sparked as they fell through the air like miniature comets, and stepped onto the runes. He flipped the grenade launcher shut. “Let’s do it,” he said tiredly.

He reappeared with a flash of light besides the roar of a heavy minigun. He took a look at the chaos around him. A tiny grin slowly worked its way across his jaw as energy ran through his veins. ‘Finally.’ With a quick flap of his wings he shot up into the air.

“I guess another one of my good traits is my chaos abilities, which I carry on my person and use them in places where it seems fit,” Discord said, drinking from a grenade. “The shrinks at this place are still wary of any large scale effects, so they put bracelets to contain much of it.” He fingered wrist gauntlets on his forearms. The section closest to his wrists vaguely looks like handcuffs. “Sometimes, I just really want to....” He paused, dazed, then turned around back at the interviewer with an odd grin. “And then Kablooie!” he shouted, raising his limbs as a small shower of miniature gunpowder fireworks went off around the startled pony.

Discord hovered high above the building, warm with his black wooly cap. “Another wave? Let’s see how you fare with a bit of natural chaos tossed into the mix.” He rolled a round, purple-blue, legless bird into his palm and a large slingshot with the other. “Have a Joak.” *Fwump*. The bundle of avianfied Poison Joak cawed in fury and exploded within the mass of soldiers.

Discord landed on the roof. With the slingshot, he imbedded several C batteries into the surface in a circle. He then stepped back and flipped open his grenade launcher. He spat chocolate milk into one of the chambers then snapped it closed. “Boom.” Crystalline brown particles shot out the end of the launcher and detonated the circle of batteries.

Springs rolled between two confuddled guards. Suddenly, their legs grew at a rapid pace and smashed their craniums against the roof. Discord peeked his head in from the doorway. “Ouch.” He dragged his body into the room and looked at the banks of servers. “Ah, here we are.” He opened the chambers of the grenade launcher and dumped the remaining three shells out. A banana, some pink paint, and a tomato bounced across the floor. They were replaced with a bat skull.

*Fwump* went the bat skull.

Discord held up a claw. A single sheet of paper appeared in it. He examined the first page, then flipped to the back. “Mm hmm, second.” He flipped it counter clockwise again to read the third page. Satisfied, he stashed it within the second empty chamber.

He raised a claw and shoved it into a random USB port. “Purple spiral stairs, plane train chairs,” he sang. The machines shuddered as CPU power was diverted into sending out random broadcasts. “Ha ha, have some Love Letters, kids!” He pulled out his finger and licked it. He chuckled. “Mm hm-!”

Discord clenched his teeth as a stab of pain went through his stomach, forcing him to his knees. He hastily retrieved the emergency grenade from his launcher and ate it entirely. The yellow in his eyes receded somewhat. He slowly pushed himself up, leaning against the wall as he caught his breath. His eyes turned glassy for a moment, but he shook it off and quickly picked up where he left off, dropping several decks of cards, numerous dice, jelly beans, cheese slices, sawdust, and rubber balls into the chambers. He slapped the edge of the chambers, sending them spinning wildly. He held it with both hands and observed it.

He grinned. Someone was yelling out orders below. He held the grenade launcher like a pistol in front of him. “Instead of orders, how about chaos instead, capitan?” he called, grinning viciously, pulsing piss yellow eyes gleaming from the darkness.

Author's Note

Discord is hard.

4. Meet the Soldier

Meet the Soldier
I squirmed awkwardly in my desk/seat. For one thing, it was a bit too small. Probably for foals. The second thing was that heads occupied the other desks. Not heads of state, or manes barely visible over the tables but decapitated heads. 90% of them had decayed into skulls. The only reason I hadn’t vomited a second time was that there were a few hundred cans of Fresh-Breeze with bullet holes in them littering the floor. I still struggle to understand how I was suckered into sitting here.

A boom of a firearm went off in front of the interviewer. Bits of drywall rained onto her desk. The (self-named) Queen of the Night, Nightmare Moon, glared at her, a shotgun floating in her magic. “Stop daydreaming, foal! You still have much to learn in the art of war, along with all these dirt sniffin’ maggots around here.” She waved the smoking shotgun at the interviewer, teeth bared. “Don’t you forget you are in detention, foal.”

She turned back to the chalkboard, tapping at a picture of a big circle and a small circle.

“Now, the first thing you should do in a combat situation is to ensure you can achieve victory. The most easiest and bluntest way to ensure that is to be in a better position to attack than your target.” She tapped the larger circle.

Nightmare crouched upon a cloud. She surveyed the disorganized group of ponies dealing with the effects of Poison Joak. “Discord didn’t clean up again. As usual.”

She jumped off the cloud, twirling once with her hooves outstretched. Several rockets floated out of her flowing hair, and she armed them by flipping open the claws.

“There are many ways to do this,” she continued. “One is from numbers. However, often times we have to fight solo. Despite the fact we’re supposed to be a team.” She ground her teeth. “A good soldier (like me, obviously,) is also proficient in improvisation. So, we combined that with surprise and stealth."

Explosives rained from the sky, scattering bodies all over the place, adding bodily harm to their list of concerns. A shockwave went off as the alicorn explosive-jumped away into the darkness.

“Of course, stealth is really easy under the cover of my night,” she stated arrogantly, dark blue smoke swirling around her.

The blurred form of the Nightmare crash landed in front of a surprised Sombra. Behind him was Firefly and Twilight, the latter squatting behind an automated turret and a mana-restoration box. Firefly occasionally abused it as a makeshift A/C. “The area is clear of reinforcements. Heavy, watch our backs as we break in and catch up to the Demoman.” She juggled a few dismembered heads around her and galloped around the corner. Sombra grunted at Twilight, motioning his head towards Nightmare’s retreating form. She sent a telepathic message to the last two on the team, allowing time for them to teleport in before she quickly dissolved her totems. Sombra started compacting and reshaping his minigun into a 4-barreled pepperbox shotgun and trotted after the dark alicorn with it in his magic, constantly checking their flank.

Twilight let Firefly carry her by her legs, allowing Twilight’s prosthetic hoof to reveal its hidden machine gun to shoot from a better position.

They soon saw the front door, or where it should be, due to a shroud of darkness obscuring any activity underneath the small lamp above it. The shroud cleared just as they reached it, revealing the dark alicorn with a collapsable war-scythe. “Finally,” she muttered. Twilight gave her a glare. The alicorn briefly shuddered, but soon regained her composure. “Breaking in.” She pulled back a bolt on the handle of the scythe.

BANG.

Propellant shot out of a vent on the top of the scythe, slashing the door in half. She hopped into the air, cranking the bolt back as she did so.

BANG

The recoil blasted her through the door, knocking over a few workers and some security guards already preoccupied with the draconequus flying above their heads laughing maniacally and lobbing explosives or some other physics defying effect. She twirled in mid air, slicing through those unfortunate to get in her path. She skidded to a stop on the other side of the room, holding up several dismembered heads in a semicircle around her. “Now, my subjects...”

“...I hope you have learned your lesson?”

I sat bored, doodles occupying half of my notepad. A lot of it was common sense, though partway through she suddenly started ranting about overpowered unicorns and their goody two-shoes trainers, other night related things, or how drugs were bad for you. Occasionally she would mention something she does on the field, but since I doubt she ever gets any feedback, she just rambled disjointedly and assumed her listeners understand her. Most of the time, she understood herself perfectly. Unfortunately, I don’t. Now though, she seems to have returned to sanity. Finally, I was starting to fall asleep.

“You better have remembered it, because we’re going to be training again, and I would be very disappointed if you get your heads lopped off again.”

Ugh. She keeps the heads of those she killed with her? Gross ...Wait a minute, what’s this tingling feeling...!

The pony practically flew onto the top of the desk as a wave of dark purple magic flowed through the room like liquid nitrogen. The smoke clung to the desks and slowly crawled up the legs like some sort of capillary effect. The pony frantically grabbed her notebook and waved the weakly clinging smoke off her own desk. As she did so, the smoke curled around the skulls, slowly raising them. A faint outline grew around them, gradually getting thicker and opaque. The smoke extended downwards, forming a vague equine shape.

“Rise, Shadowbolts.”

All of the heads regrew their bodies, though no matter their previous coat color, they were all dark blue and had hollow, yellow, translucent eyes. If you looked at them from the right angle, you could see their skulls.

The undead acrobatic team (since a number of them couldn’t fly) jumped into the sky. twirling between everyone in their path, excluding the rest of the team filing in through the door.

The Shadowbolts landed in a triangular pyramid. Most of the one on the top had blades for forelegs. And plenty of blood on it. The confused victims didn’t notice they were dead until their torsos started to slide apart.

The acrobats dispersed, whirling, slicing and kicking as Twilight’s emplacement gun rebooted and fired upon anything the Shadowbolts haven’t reached yet.

“Watch out below!” Discord called, holding out a detonator.

BOOM

The tables, machinery, and lab equipment exploded.

The Nightmare and her Shadowbolts rode the shockwave, blowing out another wall and air strafing in formation. The dark alicorn pulled a rocket launcher off her back and loaded four rockets into a revolving chamber. “USELESS MAGGOTS, ALL OF YOU!” she yelled out, firing a salvo of rockets into the next room.

The interviewer stared out the window, her jaw hanging as Nightmare explained how Shock and Awe was useful, especially if that means you can gut them when they aren’t paying attention.

Author's Note

In case you haven't noticed by now, the Interview is mostly linear, while the "Game" is not:
1. ???
2. Scout
3. Heavy
4. ???
5. Demoman
6. Soldier
7. ???
8. ???
9. ???
Also, since apparently it wasn't clear enough, if Sombrah's mysterious accent confused you, it's because someone spiked his drink with crystal dust and dried his throat out, aka that smoke coming out of his mouth. It was a shoehorned attempt at the part of Heavy raging, and it was the best excuse I got.

5. Meet the Sniper

Meet the Sniper
“Sniping’s a ... simple job.” The interviewer sat next to the pink alicorn in a warehouse/machine shop. There were stacks of metal tubes, several chalkboards, and a lot of heavy equipment, like a six foot bandsaw and a 20-square foot table saw. And this wasn’t even counting many compact power tools. At the far end of the room, there were two large racks. One was labeled with “Experimental.” The other was “Practical.”

“The main reason I chose it was that all the other spots were taken from my indecision. I used to be an Alicorn of Love, and I’m not a very physical mare. Despite my appearance, I’m not 100% alicorn. My genes are more biased onto the Unicorn and Pegasus side, leaving not much Earth pony strength.” Cadence slowly stood up, stretching.

“It all worked out, in the end, as you might notice. A Sniper is generally further from the action, a long ranged assassin."

Cadence fluttered up high into the sky, a few hours before sunset. She was looking for a good vantage point. She eventually settled upon a spot with a good view of the front door and the small section of the fort that the Engineer had decided to focus on.

She made sure her saddlebags and its contents still had the cloud-walking spell before shrugging it off.

“I decided to make my own warehouse after we finished basic training and found out what we were allowed to use,” Cadence explained as she showed off the shop. “In our wargames, I was only allowed to use a basic bolt-action rifle.” She picked up a bag she left on a cabinet and pulled out a sniper rifle with a wooden stock and a scope with a laser sight. “Simple, yet still deadly in competent hooves.” She racked the bolt, making sure it was empty, before dissembling it a a fluid motion with her magic. She pulled out a cleaning cloth and began cleaning it.

“In retrospect, it was a smart decision: it trained one to understand the basics, such as tracking a target and how much to lead if the target is too far away. Plus, this thing is relatively easy to maintain, no complicated springs or wires, besides this little laser pointer. That thing just needs a change in batteries every 6 months or so. Half the time, I don’t even use it.”

Cadence checked her watch. She had about two hours left. Might as well practice. She pulled out the Sniper Rifle in pieces from a case in her bag and assembled it. A suppressor was fitted to the end. Practice would be pointless and become Combat if she was heard, and a team based assault was much preferable to Solo Fortress. She pulled out a small clay pigeon shooting machine and pointed it away from the compound. The sunset should be enough to hide her coat. If it didn’t, she still had a few simple illusion spells running. At this distance, you might just notice a mildly interesting shadow pattern on a far away cloud.

She started up the machine and took aim.

*Fwump*

She waited a few seconds, then easily shot the object. She kept this up for another four clay shots. She switched the machine to fire clay pigeons with pink stickers. These swerved erratically, but she managed to bounce along with it and shot these out of the sky too. She opened the bolt and took a break as she watched the smoke spiral into the sky.

That was long range. Now for short range.

*Fwump-Fwump*

Two blue-marked clay pigeons swirled in front of her cloud. She took in a deep breath. Suddenly, the rifle snapped up and blasted one of the objects. In one smooth motion, she racked in another bullet and clipped the edge of the second shot, sending it spiraling into the forest. She gritted her teeth. “More practice. I shouldn’t have missed that.” She set up the machine for another round.

“I found out something interesting while we were getting ready for our first assignment. Though we were supposed to get used to what weapons we had, we could technically use whatever we wanted, as long as we felt comfortable with it. Most of our team was fine with their current loadout, though some made modifications. I’m sure Engi told you about some of them, such as Firefly’s shotgun and Nightmare’s rocket launcher. I’m not sure how much she contributed to Sombra’s minigun, but I’m pretty sure she helped blueprint it.Some of them were made in here after I figured out that it would be a great help for all of us. We all pitched in to get much of this equipment shipped to this shop, though I still spent a good portion of my time here.

“I started thinking after that tidbit. Oh, just so you know, a Sniper technically doesn’t have a skill ceiling, and I’m not talking about just me. A Sniper’s main skill set involves tracking and evading notice, which was taught in our wargames, as I mentioned.” We started moving towards the back of the room.

“As you improve these skills, you get faster at locking in, more accurate in general, which eventually equals a heck of a lot of damage outputted. I soon realized that the main limitation was rate of fire.”

Cadence wiped a bit of sweat off her forehead and checked the sun. Sunset was coming. She put away the machine and dissembled her rifle for storage. She put its case at the bottom and pulled out a larger case and a large (faux) leather sheath. She put the sheath aside for the moment.

We walked past a small pile of half built stocks, barrels, and firing mechanisms. “Those were failed ideas. I’ll turn those into scrap metal later.” We stopped in front of the two crates. “This is the Experimental bin, for things that might work. I occasionally ask others for ideas, and if it seemed interesting enough, I make it. My first tries are now scrap metal: I wasn’t very steady nor good at metal working, I’m afraid,” she chuckled. “Engi was a great help.”

She levitated a rifle with what appeared to be four barrels attached to the front. “This was influenced by Sombra’s minigun. It seemed like a fun idea at first, until I found out how hard it was to keep it accurate and still have a better RoF than my old Rifle. I might show you how fast I can shoot that magazine-less gun, if that suspicious gaze is to be judged. I got nearly a thousand hours on that thing before I stopped guilt tripping myself.”

She put the rotary rifle down with its “broken” brethren and went to the next bin. There was much less in this bin. She levitated a standard military rifle. “This is one of the first things I made. Really plain, I practically copied it off some military hardware. It works, but really, it’s kinda boring. I want to show you these two.” She put the rifle down and picked up a case and a heavy sheath. “I use this pair a lot now, though I still practice with the Sniper Rifle first before practicing with these.”

She picked up the case and put the sheath to the side. She popped off the lid with her magic.

An extended barrel with a muzzle break floated out, along with a box of belted bullets. She floated the separate parts together, ending at laying the belt across the top and snapping the cover close. “This is my primary. Yep, this is a .50 caliber machine gun, my little Tyrant.”

She had one hundred rounds. She had time. Time for heads to roll. Cadence racked the bolt and placed her eye against its telescopic adjustable sight. Right now it was set to 10x.

Her horn glowed as she set a few spells into the round to splash around into her target’s surroundings. Discord wasn’t the only one with mass confusion. She wiggled her legs a bit to get comfortable. She glanced inside the sheath, making sure her side arm was loaded. She turned her focus back to the scope once she saw the edge of the chambers and a brass glow.

A deep staccato thump reverberated through the forest.

Cadence waved the interviewer goodbye. She closed the door behind her and went to get a broom to recycle some metal. She paused in front of the broom. Something sparked deep within her mind, but she couldn’t put her hoof on it. It was ... purple. That pony. She seemed ... familiar. The feeling was gone after a few seconds and she forgot about it minutes later.

Author's Note

Cadence demonstrates how one's skill could theoretically enter aimbot levels of accuracy, and completely own everything, assuming you have the fire rate and ammo capcity high enough,
1. Sniper
2. Scout
3. Heavy
4. ???
5. Demoman
6. Soldier
7. ???
8. ???
9. ???

6. Meet the Spy

Meet the Spy
I was back in the warehouse again. We were supposed to be meeting in two minutes, yet I still can’t hear anything. I wonder what’s taking her so long?

As she spun a pen around in boredom, a crate shifted. Soon enough, the pony was drawn to the sight of a box gliding across the room towards her. When it was within a few feet of her, it vanished. Her eyes shrunk somewhat as she darted them around, searching for a ghostly box. She paused for a moment as she considered the absurdity of that thought. Her revelry was cut short by a flash of green fire in front of her.

“Hello, dearie. I’m Chrysalis.”

Alarm bells were ringing non-stop throughout the facility. It was Chaos. Discord would’ve loved it if he could see this. The place was being assaulted by only eight ponies, yet somehow they were completely decimating everything. Half of the communications arrays were lagging badly, and practically all of the static defenses were not responding The security chief sighed. The only bright side was that they had several decoy rooms where the documents were hidden in. The brown coated unicorn barked out orders into a microphone, hopefully guiding the mercenaries into the longest path possible. He already sent a few guys to gather the actual files and slip away from it. Now was the time where he regretted separating the files. It was going to take a while to compile all the evidence.

As the unicorn looked through the video feeds, a sense of unease began to gather in his stomach. For some reason, eight seemed like a wrong number. His mind kept on referring them as the Team of Nine... His pupils shrank. Oh no.

He dashed into the back of the office and opened a file cabinet. He grabbed out a manila folder and dropped it on the floor, frantic eyes scanning though the articles. This was a list of soldiers, mercenaries, and crazed gunmen that have been sighted. After a few minutes of tossing paper to the side, he found a small article about a team of elite soldiers being made for the Royal Army. He wiped a bit of sweat off his dusty red mane. They chose nine different ponies based on certain skills.

There was the Scout, chosen based on the recruit’s speed. Scouts generally are great at ambushing and hit ‘n runs.

Soldiers are rather average compared to others, though may vary due to different personalities. They are often seen with ranged explosives.

The chief glanced at the screens and counted under his breath. I’m missing one. He flipped though a few pages and stopped. ...It’s the infiltrator. There is a spy “...in the base.”

”What?”

The chief stood up and ran towards the secret room. “We have a Spy in the base!”

He ran past other security ponies who hardly gave him a glance, already busy with their own problems. After some nimble acrobatics (quite difficult in such stuffed hallways) he burst through the secret door. To his relief, everyone on duty was still accounted for. He wiped some sweat off his head. “Any trouble with the files?”

The other ponies looked around confusedly. “I ... guess? No complications yet, sir. All files are currently accounted for. Just need to organize them, sir.”

He exhaled in relief. “Phew. That’s one worry off my back.” Good. Nothing entered. But that still means we may have an intruder. “Hey, did anyone happen to catch a spy on the way here?”

The ponies in the room glanced at him. “What spy?” one of them asked.

He waved a hoof. “Nevermind. Not seeing anything out of the ordinary is a good thing. As long as nothing gets through this door, we should be fine.”

He pulled out his phone and checked the security cameras. Good, the group was being herded into a large circle. This shouldn’t take much longer. Once everything was packed, it will be shipped off discreetly, and hopefully away from these mercenaries' reach. He didn’t know why anyone would want to steal these in such a fashion. Maybe there was some sort of secret code? It didn’t matter. He wasn't paid to ask questions.

He was about to put his phone back into his pocket when something caught his eye. On the camera feed to the room he was in, his figure was noticeably empty. “No way,” he whispered. “I don’t think the equipment is malfunctioning. The only other possibility is ... sabotage.” He shakily slipped a hoof gun out of a holster. If that spy is in here, and yet none of them notice, then they must be mind controlled. The longer this goes on, the more material he or she will steal from us. The real spy could be anyone in this room. He gulped. It could be ... anyone. I may have to kill everypony here just to keep the secret safe. He slowly raised his weapon. Was it worth it?

Suddenly, three of the ponies paused, and spun their heads simultaneously to look at him, derailing everything he was building up to in his mind. His mouth gaped open in surprise. A shimmer, like a heatwave, shifted from it’s position near the shadows of one of the cabinets. It swirled, then receded with a flash of green fire. The security pony stood in the shimmer’s place, looking at its copy near the door, blood dripping from a bullet through his head. The clone walked over as the stallion collapsed, placing a dark green revolver into an invisible holster.

“What a shame,” he whispered, brushing his hair away from his glassy eyes and closing them.. “I dislike killing. It only leaves evidence behind, and little for me to use.” He glanced at the red streaks in his hoof; the dead pony’s mane had apparently hidden his blood. He floated up the dead unicorn in his magic and placed him in a corner, cleaning off some of the blood out of his coat and arranging his and body to make it appear that he was asleep.

He stared puzzledly as one of the dazed looking ponies handed her a briefcase. “Ah, thank you,” He said, accepting the intelligence. He popped open the case, scanning them briefly as he went towards the door. He levitated the stolen camera phone onto his hoof. This would be helpful, He thought, locking the room behind him with a spit of a green, wax like substance.

Author's Note

I'm sorry for the forced sounding jokes.
1. Sniper
2. Scout
3. Heavy
4. ???
5. Demoman
6. Soldier
7. Spy
8. ???
9. ???
Come on, people. Say something. Anything. I can tell from the stats that there are people reading this thing.

7. Meet the Medic

Meet the Medic

The interviewer walked silently through an older section of the team’s home. She looked apprehensively at the worn doors of an Operating Room. She raised a hoof and quietly opened it, poking her head through. On a bed, a dirty white alicorn rested her multicolored hair on the lap of a dark blue alicorn.

Luna could’ve participated in the combat, but a lot of her offensive spells were a bit slower compared to the rest of her allies. Instead, she lent her magic towards more defensive arts. She stayed in the general flank of the team, using her magic to send raw healing energies to any injuries her allies may have received. In case somepony gets through, she made sure to keep a bit of lightning magic charged. It was often enough to stun her target long enough for her to charge up more powerful spells or for her allies to take him or her down.

Luna and the Pyro popped in when the Engineer was packing up, getting ready for the break in. “Ow,” she grumbled. For some reason, the rune based teleportation always squeezed on her ribs. She shook the feeling off. With a sigh that spoke of tired resignation, she cantered after them, healing up any injuries they may have received from stray bullets.

Inside the building itself was even more chaotic. The phrase “I hate enclosed spaces” pretty much described her feelings on the matter. Firefly had less room to fly, Discord needed to get his eyesight checked, and Sombra was a little more noticeable of a target under the florescent lights. Nightmare, despite her natural hardiness, often damaged herself from all the reckless explosive tossing she employed in her combat strategy. Engineer helped out a bit, but she still had to hop around dodging bullets as she worked to keep her teammates at full health and or magic.

“How much longer are we doing this show?” she asked the Engineer, backflipping over a grenade. A glance out of cracked window from the third floor she flew past revealed that reinforcements were still pouring in. They apparently planned to overwhelm them by sheer numbers. It was a reasonable plan, Cadence couldn’t shoot all of them down after all.

If they managed to get them here in time.

Twilight poked her head out from behind her emplacement gun, her hoof on an earpiece. “Chrysalis says that ...” she held up a hoof, then slowly nodded. “She has taken the Intelligence.”

“Well, I guess your plan worked.”

“Of course. I will never let any of you have to go through a failure. We’re better than that. Now if you would please, the last stage?”

Despite the statement's nonchalance, Luna couldn’t help but feel a little bit of irrational apprehension. She always did near her. But she didn’t have time now, Now is the time for ending the facade. She took a deep breath and employed the Voice. “BACK OFF!”

Everypony in the room, paused, looking over their shoulders. They quickly remembered what her shout meant and quickly gathered around her. Discord pulled out a large piece of chalk and drew a circle around them as the rest of the team fought to defend their position.

“I wonder where Chrysalis-” Luna started. A tingle ran up her spine. She spun around, a bone saw crackling with electricity at the jaw of a unfazed unicorn. He gave a smirk as green fire swirled around him.

“Oh, you,” Luna grumbled, sheathing the bone saw, its glowing Moon cutie mark dulling as the mana within evaporated.

Chrysalis chuckled. “As long as you do your job, you have nothing to worry about,” she said, flicking blood off a veined, dragonfly inspired butterfly knife.

Discord lit the edge of the chalk circle, which blasted a ring of destructive energy. Luna summoned a dark miasma that acted as a shock absorber as the team plummeted through several floors. Nightmare seemed to enjoy the feeling of falling multiple stories while smashing through every single floor along the way. Discord just laughed all the way down while bouncing off the concrete each time they hit an obstruction. Luna was mostly impartial to it. She had felt a similar feeling many times when she made the occasional dream walk.

Everyone else was less than comfortable. Yes, some of the others had wings, but it was hard maintaining a hover over a wildly unpredictable bouncing concrete circle, so they had to submit to a freefall they couldn’t quite control.

*CRASH*

A plume of even more dust surrounded them as they finally reached the ground floor. Crushed machinery was strewn everywhere from the shockwave and the occasional explosive. It hid the shadows from the defenders until it was too late. A beam of fire burned through the smoke, causing a weak dust fire, along with igniting everything from the front of the team to the doorway. A tall, white coated alicorn with a flowing mane stepped out of the smoke, her face obscured by a gas mask and wearing two pairs of rubber shoes.

Well, she would be white if it weren’t for the dark blue nebula surrounding her. Luna sent her magic towards the Pyro, who collected the energy and supercharged her flames. The pair charged forward, clearing a blazing trail for the rest getting a milder version of the overcharging spell Luna channeled.

Outside, a small army raised weapons at the signs of smoke from the windows, but were utterly surprised at the blazing alicorn blowing the entire wall completely off and into the yard.

“Merrrmmmmph!!” the Pyro yelled, bouncing bullets, explosives, and other projectiles off the black armor surrounding her and charring massive swaths of the yard in her path. ”Muh hu hu hu!” she roared into the sky, charred corpses flying from the sky from a massive point blank solar flare.

Luna cut off the spell, sweat coating her mane. “Let’s move,” she rasped. “Cadence is waiting for us.” The team dashed off into the forest, following tiny splashes of glow-in-the-dark fluids on the trees and grass, markers the Sniper left to help guide Luna through the near featureless forest. Plus to prevent the others from tripping, seeing not all of them had nearly as good night vision as she and Nightmare did.

The team dashed through the forest, following the stars on Luna’s and Nightmare’s tail. They soon arrived at a small clearing. Cadence was barely a shadow, leaning against a tree with her machine gun propped up against her and a rifle sheath across her back. She waved a hoof at the grass. “The mass teleport stabilizer is drawn, just like you specified.”

Twilight trotted forwards. She channeled a bit of energy into the grass, scrutinizing the faint glow in the dirt. “It's exact and precise. Perfection. Thank you,” she said, smiling appreciatively. Cadence nearly imperceptibly relaxed her stance.

Twilight fully charged up the rune circle and with a bright flash of light, teleported the entire group away.

Twilight cleared her throat after the glow faded from her horn. “We have captured the intelligence.”

Author's Note

Sniper

Scout

Heavy

???

Demoman

Soldier

Spy

Medic

???
Eh. I still don't like how Luna sounds like, but I couldn't figure out how to make it any better. From now on, I will actualy be working on writing the next 3 "sorta-planned" chapters. The other 6 were the backlog I made a month ago, and truth be told, I was enjoying having a backlog so much I barely worked on making new ones.

In the next interview, we will look into the mind of the deranged Pyromaniac, the avatar of the Sun. If I can figure out what direction I'm going.

Get ready for a week or longer wait, I guess.
Appletank "Random Idea Generator" out.

8. Meet the Pyro

Meet the Pyro
The interviewer walked silently through an older section of the team’s home. She looked apprehensively at the worn doors of an Operating Room. She raised a hoof and quietly opened it, poking her head through. On a bed, a dirty white alicorn rested her multicolored hair on the lap of a dark blue alicorn.

Celestia stretched slightly on the bed she shared with Luna. The palace was so quiet, nowadays, after all that evil Twilight told her about came. Apparently they all went to shelters for protection, leaving behind a small group of dedicated defenders to slowly weed out the grime. It was hard work, but each time she purified another of her corrupted subjects, she could rest just a little bit easier.

Luna was working on paperwork. She still had to run the country. She would’ve tried helping out a little, but the new spells Twilight had taught her drained her. She nuzzled Luna’s coat, the night princess muttering unintelligibly.

A flash of purple moved through the doorway to their chambers. Her head snapped to attention at speeds that hid her tiredness, but relaxed at the sight of her pupil. “Twilight, how have you been? I know that searching for the corruption takes much of your time, but can you find time for a vacation, or a break? You know that all that studying isn’t good for you, despite what you say about your supposed hardiness.”

‘Twilight’ stared incomprehensibly at Celestia for a moment. A cloud of blue twitched in her peripheral vision.

“Ah, sure! In fact, I was doing that right now.”

The princess smiled happily. “It’s been so long since we had time to each other outside of work,” she said, reaching forwards and nuzzling the flustered interviewer. The pony snuck glances off to her side, but she paid no heed to it.

“Um, yes,” the interviewer said, backing off. “I, uh, the Engineer, realized that I never made a detailed list about what each of our crew was good at, and wanted to help better coordinate our team,” she read from her notebook.

Celestia tilted her head. “We didn’t? I thought-”

“Nope!” the interviewer interrupted, her eyes darting. “Even if I did, I somehow misplaced it. Yup!”

“You misplaced it? I thought-”

“So, what is it that you do in this drrThe Royal Castleyace?”

“Oh, so a practice interview? I heard that there was going to be one later today. No problem, ‘interviewer’,” she daintily giggled. “The brave ponies here in this castle help cure the corrupted ponies in this land, to restore its harmony and hopefully make this place habitable again.”

The interviewer glanced to her side, and grimaced slightly. Celestia didn’t remember anything being there, and puzzled over it momentarily.

“Whenever you, I mean, Twilight -” she tittered again “- finds a source of corruption, she creates a portal that brings me and the rest of these fighters with us. Sometimes, we have to collect samples from their strongholds to better figure out how to better fight them. I trust Twilight to figure it out better than I can.

“The special spells Twilight had taught me were to purify the corruption from whatever it has plagued.”

The interviewer once again glanced to her side, and grimaced after a bit. Celestia decided to remind herself to clean up whatever dirtiness beside her that her beloved student kept seeing there.

Just like...
Movement.

Shadows. Light. A statue of moondust beckons. Follows. Movement towards Moondust. Anger. Light. Happiness.

Through the archway. Recoil. So much light. So much movement. What to do? Brain highlights. Targets highlighted. Happiness. So many ponies saved. Break the chains. Break the devices of torture. Melt them to slag.

Laurels. Flowers. Wyrm flying overhead, raining toys. Moondust surrounds her. Feels nice. Escalators. More targets. Summon Windex. Clean the walls of wallpaper. Clean the walls of wall. New carpet. Thundercloud overhead. Fear. Hate. Moondust placates. Grudging acceptance.

More ladders. More purifying.

Full Moon. Wyrm creates an elevator. Fun. Falling. New Moon. Lightning, Cloud, Wyrm, Crystal, Brain, Ladybug, falling. Bouncing. Going through Space Mountain.

Darkness. Hate. How dare they.

She lifted incandescent eye sockets, her horn glowing with fierce light. “How DARE you!” she roared, sending a wave of power blasting at the wall, completely blowing it off its foundation. She took slow, heavy stomps out, lighting up the yard with massive swaths of fire. She felt bullets pinging off her armor. She gave a cold, empty glare towards its source. A flare shot off into the night. She glared at the rest, trying to provide covering fire against an invulnerable goddess of fire. She gathered up the rest of her energy. “Solar Flare!” she cried out, sending a basketball sized globule of fusion, and detonated it in a very specific manner.

There was a massive blast of searing air, blowing a cloud of charred flesh throughout the yard.

She slowly swept her head around, watching the glowing embers rain from the sky. The grass would be freshly nourished tonight, the unburnt blades swaying from the heat wave, along with the burnt blades of war impaled into the earth. A flash of motion caught her eye, and she saw a charred skV11#@[Redacted]

A sleeping foal. Free from the Nightmares. Forever.

Regal smile. Giggle at the ghostly forest. Pulsing heart. Floo jump. Greyness.....

The color drained from the room as the interviewer left, the only beacon of color. Celestia’s thought patterns slowed. The color in her irises drained, becoming grey too. Her muscles slowly, fiber by fiber, relaxed, depositing her head into the Medic’s waiting hooves. Luna sighed, watching the interviewer leave.

“Good luck,” she whispered. “Watch out for ... It.” She levitated a few pistols and SMG’s to her side, checking their magazines and disabling the safeties. She kept them in a small pile beside her, protecting her sister’s body with her own, readying the invincibility spell.

Author's Note

Sniper

Scout

Heavy

???

Demoman

Soldier

Spy

Medic

Pyro

Crapped this out in a single night. Practically no editing. Oh well. I did disjointed the best I could. Celetia's priorities have been shifted, and not exactly all there. If eyes are the window to the soul, then large curtains have been installed, along with a large helping of dust storm.

As you can tell, the Brain, the leader, is coming next. The Engineer, Twilight Sparkle. Or is it?

As the last interview comes to an end, the Mission begins in 60 seconds....

λ. [Redacted]

?????

A pony in goggles and a lab coat inspected a vial of blood. Tiny purple flakes float through the liquid. His horn glowed slightly, imparting a similar aura around the vial. After a moment, he grunted. He pulled out a magenta sticker and stuck it on top of the vial. He picked up the vial and put it within his saddlebags, tucked in between much packing peanuts. He walked to the back of the blood bank; a portal opened up in front of him, which he stepped into without hesitation.

The portal led to a long hallway, lined with a multitude of doors labeled with things like Lone Wolf (5), Shock and Awe (2), Lucky Three (9), Super soldier team 6, Mercenary 9 (2). Along the way, he passed by a large assortment of different creatures, including bipedal cats, wolves, other ponies, and even a few sapiens.

He stopped in front of a door that looked polished and new, labeled “Magic 9 (1).” Inside were nine cryo tubes. One was filled with a sleeping pink pegasus. He stopped at a table with five other blood vials held in a pentagon shaped holder. They were marked with Purple, Pink, Blue, Red, and Orange stickers. The magenta marked vial was placed in the middle. He stepped back an allowed other creatures to step forwards.

Various mages of various species stood in a circle around the blood vials. A bipedal dog secured a transparent gem into the center of the vials in an upright position. The mages waited a moment for the geologist to leave the circle than began gathering their magic. First, the vials gave no reaction. As the magic began to seep into them, however, they began to boil. Multicolored smoke wafted through the vials and into the crystal. The different colors swirled, battling each other for dominance. In the end, magenta reigned supreme.

A humanoid in a biohazard suit stepped into the circle and removed the slightly glowing gem. He pulled down a lever, which lowered a metal equinoid skeleton. It had a golden necklace, which clashed somewhat with its dark grey structure. The gem fitted into the center of the collar perfectly. Black smoke crawled out and wrapped around the frame. Black skin formed along an invisible surface, pulsing with non existent veins. Tiny strands of purple hair poked their way of the of the bare skin.

Mana sparked across the circuits underneath. A dull lavender glow shown from deep within its eye sockets. The chassis lowered until its fore hooves touched the ground. Its legs bent a bit as a small caliber cannon was lowered into its back, collapsing into itself to fit in the cramped space.

“Rise, Mecha Echo-Howard 6"

Author's Note

This section is the one that gave everyone migraines. Don't worry, you aren't alone. This section was originally part of "Engineer." Due to spoiler reasons, a lot of confusing details couldn't be explained, so come back to this chapter later.

When I get to Mare vs. Machine, this will make slightly more sense. And now, onto the Engineer, the not so innocent mechanic and enchanter.

9. Meet the Engineer

Meet the Engineer
’Damn it, why do I need to go all the way out back here?,’ I thought as I stumbled over large roots and tall grass. ‘In fact, why is this base located in such a heavily wooded area?’

I sighed, and checked my notebook. ‘Let’s see. The next one is...” As I read, a pink laser dot centered onto my chest. A dot of yellow popped out from behind a tree and daunced around my frozen form, which was wobbling from trying to balance on two hooves.

“Hi there! You’re the interviewer, right?” She danced in place happily. “Usually, I’m the one interviewing somepony, so this is a new experience for me. Why don’t you come over?”

The frozen interviewer frantically pointed her eyeballs at the red light of death on her chest. The yellow hat paused. “Oh, that? Sorry, its a sensor of sorts. It doesn’t actually shoot ponies, it just alerts me. The red laser blinked purple for a moment, then disappeared. The interviewer slowly exhaled, glanced apprehensively at the notes in the notebook, then cautiously stepped forwards.

A couple of feet later I saw the little clearing she had made for herself. There were wires buried into the earth, most of them hooked up to a series of monitors. One of the wires went only a few feet, connected to a strange camera looking device. That must’ve been where the laser came from. It was currently pointed away from the base, slowly scanning left and right. The mare seemed familiar. She had a purple coat and a striped of magenta through her indigo mane. A hard hat was perched over her horn. Large welding goggles covered her eyes. A golden necklace with a magenta gem hung from her neck. I froze again when she turned towards me, her right hoof splitting apart to form an interfacing device with her equipment

“So, what do you want to talk about?”

“Dah, um, yes” the interviewer babbled. “The interview. Yourself. I would like to know about you. what you do here..”

“No problem! My name is Twi-” she paused, as if there was something caught in her throat. “It’s ...Ta ... Wain... Tink...” her eye twitched, and a strand of hair seemed to pop out.

“Twilight?” the interviewer suggested.

“Yes! Sorry about that.”

Oh ‘Lest, this is weird.

She fetched a canteen and drank from it. “Ahem, sorry about that...” She trotted back to where the interviewer was waiting, sitting on a wooden crate. There seemed to be a quite a few of them around.

“As I was saying, my role in this group is called the Engineer. I construct most of my weapons, and sometimes help others modify their own. I help plan most of our assignments, you know, logistics and strategy. I don’t know if Scout told you about it (she probably didn’t) but I helped personally made that shotgun of hers for her.” The pendant flashed red. She ground her teeth a bit. “...that geezer, taking our...” she covered her mouth with both hooves. “Oops. Ah, sorry about that. I ... don’t know where that came from,” she mumbled, nervously looking around. The pendant flickered to yellow for a bit, before reverting back to magenta.

Is that...?

“What were we talking about again?”

The night before the mission...
Twilight stood on a cloud high above the air, looking down at the shadows of the massive building beneath her. Luna floated beside her on silent wings. A small glow appeared on the end of Twilight’s horn. “Ready?” she asked.

A dark cloud of magic manifested itself on the end of Luna’s horn. “Yes, Twi- We mean, Engineer..”

“Alright. Charge me, Medic.” she said.

As Twilight’s horn began to glow, Luna’s cloud enveloped Twilight, slowly cloaking her. Once she was completely covered, she released her supercharged clairvoyance spell. Her awareness briefly flashed through the entire building, causing twitches and clicks from her body. The gem briefly turned blue, but went back to magenta when Twilight collected herself. A holographic map appeared in front of her. “Alright, I got it. Let’s go back.”

“The spells I use most often have specific runes created for them. I can summon a temporary golem to set the runes on, or sometimes on the floor itself, to release the spell.”

Bullets and other projectiles flew through the air as Firefly and Sombra jointly assaulted a small corner. Their sudden rush allowed to quickly repel the defenders, but both knew that in their current position, they could easily be overrun. Despite this knowledge, they had to stick to the plan.

A flash of light behind them indicated that the Engineer had teleported onto the scene. The purple unicorn quickly scrawled a circular rune onto the dirt behind them. With a tap, energy started gathering through the lines. “Point linked,” she declared, tapping the runes. “We can get the rest of our team through here within the minute.”

She emptied some more energy into section of dirt to the side. An adobe column slowly rose out of the ground, covered in swirling, stylish runes. She took a deep breath and exhaled Purple and Orange smoke into it. Energy flashed though the runes, glowing with an ethereal light. Wounds Firefly had sustained began healing. Sombra’s dwindling magic reserves began replenishing.

Yet Firefly was still worried, eyeing the approaching defenders. “I don’t think we have a minute, Engi. Any backup coming through yet?”

“Don’t worry about it, I have it covered,” Twilight replied. “I have had ran through multiple scenarios several times, and this is still within acceptable parameters.” Energized from the Repair Station, she created a pair of steel rods with a bulbous base. Metal claws popped into existence and stabilized itself by grabbing into the dirt.

“Oh right. Your aimbot.”

“It is not mindless!” she said firmly as blue and pink smoke wrapped around the gun like device. “They’re my best [Redacted]”

“While I was designing this emplacement gun, I debated whether I needed to sacrifice higher rates of fire for better damage output. I then realized that I could do both. Sniper was already doing so, after all.”

The tube flipped forward, looking vaguely like an over-and-under double barreled air cannon with a pink radar turret. One was a 5 mm rifle, the one fused right below it was a 30 mm. The 30 mm had a massive belt of grenades hanging below it

*Beep Beep* it chirped, the radar dish pointing at a random point in the air. The barrels swiveled and lobbed a grenade, leaving a trail of warm yellow sparks.

“Ha-!” A guard with a rocket launcher said. Right before he ate a 30 mm explosive.

“Told you,” Twilight said. She leaned towards the gun and hugged it. “You guys take care of Sombra for me, okay? I’ll be back soon.” She nodded at Firefly. “Watch my back.” Firefly hopped and flapped her wings into a gentle hover. She held out a hoof, watching it as it split apart and revealed a small caliber machine gun. She racked a bolt on its edge with her magic and nodded to Firefly with a sneer. “Let’s clear the skies,” she said, her voice dripping with malice. Firefly lifted her up into the sky, a dull red glow in Twilight’s eyes as she summoned a mist of red.

The interviewer stepped unsteadily away back towards the facility, somewhat shaken at the Engineer’s descriptions at how her devices worked and at the metal prosthetics popping out of various spot on her body.

Author's Note

Sniper

Scout

Heavy

Engineer

Demoman

Soldier

Spy

Medic

Pyro

And that is the end of the Interviews. But the beginning of the actual conflict.
Join us next time, for Meet the Director.
Mission Begins in 5 ... 4 ... 3 ... 2 ... 1 ...

10. Meet the Director

Meet the Director

The interviewer walked stiffly back inside the building, fighting to keep her face from showing any emotion to the Engineer, despite the fact she wasn’t even looking in her direction. Only after she was deep inside the facility did she relax, collapsing onto a set of stairs. She hyperventilated for a minute or two before finally being able to hear the individual beats of her heart. She took one last exhale, then opened her notebook and reviewed what she wrote. She managed to get through half of them, scribbling extra thoughts in the corner until she was interrupted by the click of talons across the floor.

“So that’s where you were, I’ve been wandering through this entire place looking for you.”

The interviewer looked up into the face of a griffoness, purple rimmed eyes peering tiredly at her.

“I’m Gilda. My boss wanted me to remind you we have another guy. He does some behind the scenes thing, and wants you to at least meet him.”

The pony scrunched up her face. She didn’t recall any mention of this guy, but of course, most ponies don’t know who the backstage workers are. Maybe he just slipped their minds. She shrugged and followed after the griffoness.

They went to the basement of the facility, with pipes and wires poking out of the walls. In the shadows, a desk with a large, high backed chair faced away from them. “Go on, kid. We don’t got all day.” Gilda grumbled.

The interviewer gulped and took a few unsteady steps towards the desk.

“Sit,” a harsh, electronic voice commanded. The interviewer slowly stepped closer and sat on a small chair in front of the desk. “I want you to listen very carefully,” it intoned. She leaned in a little closer.

“This is a very important secret that none of the others know about, and it helps make this operation run smoothly,” the voice continued. Little beads of sweat appeared on the interviewer’s forehead. “Die, Twilight.”

She gasped, a brief muzzle flash from behind obscuring her face. Bits of her skull flew out of her muzzle, and she collapsed onto the table. The seat crackled as blood fell onto the hidden speaker.

Gilda blew the smoke away from her heavy revolver. A bit of confusion went through her as she thought about her statement. “Why did she remind me of Twilight?” After a little bit longer, she realized she had some difficulty remembering her face beside a purple coat. “She was a .. unicorn? Or was she an Earth pony?” Nervously, Gilda crept towards the body, her gun pointed at it.

Poke.

There was no reaction. She carefully rotated its head and summoned all her energy into focusing on the bloody mess. Yes, there was a lavender coat. The remains of her horn appear to be there. What mane that wasn’t covered in blood appears to be a dark blue or indigo. Gilda pushed away some of the black bone fragments....Wait, black?

There was a sound like a sizzling wire, and a whoosh. She spun her head, raising her revolver, eyes widening at the growing wooden baseball bat.

Crack!

Gilda bounced off the table and landed onto the corpse, eyes spinning. She saw a blurry purple figure in front of her, the bat held aloft in a glow of green magic. “Hreey,” she slurred. “Yerr a ded rin’ner for dat Engi.” The bat blurred again, and she blacked out.

“You know,” the interviewer said...

A month before
Equestria was in uproar over the disappearance of the princesses. Twilight did her best to hold it together along with the parliament, but the Elements of Harmony seemed to come down with an illness shortly after. Their minds and body became duller and weaker, and not long after, they fell into a coma. It was all Twilight could do to still remain conscious while the rest of her friends were placed on life support. Spike stayed with her, trying to help out anyway he could. A week after the disappearance, a changeling uncloaked at the doorway to the royal hospital, covered in cuts and bleeding slightly. Swords and spears materialized around his neck from the guards posted at Twilight’s door.

Spike jumped up, teeth bared. “What do you want?” he growled.

“A message,” he rasped. “From my queen. It concerns *gasp* all of us.”

Spike was about to kick him out, but paused at the last sentence.

“Let him in,” Twilight weakly called from her bed. “He seems injured, and even if he....she...it? wanted to do anything, there are plenty of guards around us ... if we need any help.”

Spike snarled, but merely glared and the changeling as the guards hesitantly stepped back, yet still tense..

After a somewhat more detailed explanation of his journey: “Basically,” Spike said, “they were all kidnapped by a mysterious entity. Along with the Princesses, Discord has also been taken. There may be others, but you couldn’t get any more information without risk of capture.”

The changeling paused, but nodded disgruntledly.

“What do you want to me to do with this information?” Twilight murmured.

“My Queen said that she and Luna managed to escape whatever mind spell they cast over the rest of them, and ... agreed to make a plan for escape. They managed to send me this spell, one that a powerful mage like you can cast.” He made a move to move forward, but Spike’s claw shot out in front of him.

“What do you want?” Spike hissed.

The changeling frowned. “To show her the spell matrix directly.”

“I know quite a bit of magical theory,” Spike said. “Give it to me. If there’s any effect on the spell, I can shrug it off easily, and if I think its safe, I will show it to Twilight.”

The changeling unhappily agreed, and put his horn to Spike’s forehead. A green glow flowed into Spike’s head. The dragon closed his eyes, his eyes darting underneath his eyelids.

A moment passed as the changeling stepped back and waited.

Spike grumbled, opening his eyes. “Its safe. It does seem quite complicated, though. Have a look.”

He knelt over to his adoptive sister and breathed a gentle flame over her horn, then sat back onto his haunches.

“What do you make of it, Twilight?” Spike asked.

“Hmm,” Twilight murmured, her eyes darting underneath her eyelids.

She opened her eyes. “And who do you want to do this on?.”

“One of ours healthier than I will be sent here to practice with you after you cast the spell. We are used to the feeling of multiple minds,” the changeling answered. “I must return now, for my magic reserves are low. We hope you are willing to go through with this.”

“Well, the enemy of my enemy, I suppose,” Twilight sighed.

A few moments of silence passed between the two lifelong friends as they watched the guards glare at the leaving changeling..

“So....” Spike said. “What was that all about?”

“It appears to be a swapping spell of sorts...Ugh,” she quietly complained. “I feel so tired all the time. It makes it so hard to focus nowadays. If this does what I think it does, it would change everything. Gimme a minute”

The next day
“Ready?” Spike asked, twiddling his thumbs. “You don’t seem strong enough yet, can we postpone this?”

“I appreciate the sentiment,” Twilight said, “but the changeling said that he/it/whatever would transfer some of their stored energy to help me cast it...”

Her eyes rolled towards the doorway. “And there he is.”

A larger, thicker changeling walked over to the doorway, ignoring the glares the guards and Spike sent his way. “Ready?” he asked.

“According to your information-” Twilight gave a rattling wheeze which made Spike glance at her in worry, “-the longer we wait, the less chance I’ll wake up tomorrow. Let’s get it over with.”

Twilight readied the spell matrixes in her mind, and accepted the rivers of energy the changeling sent to her. She tried to ignore where it could’ve come from. Once she gathered up a sufficient amount, she fired it off at the changeling’s horn. The changeling backed up, letting loose a silent scream and collapsed. On the bed, the unicorn stared blankly at her smoking horn, then slowly melted into the sheets.

“Twilight?” Spike asked. He worriedly glanced at both bodies. He had a basic idea of what might be happening, but in either scenario, both getting knocked out was not in any plan.

The changeling stirred, then slowly began shifting into a sitting position, shaking his head. “Owww...What happened to the bed” he muttered in a very feminine voice, sliding a hoof around the floor.

Spike dropped his jaw when Twilight’s eyes opened up toward him, though tinged with blue.

“Twilight...is...you...wha?” he stammered

“What do you mean-” the changeling looked at the hoof in front of him and gave a breathless gasp. He scrambled backwards but merely tripped and fell over. He frantically looked down, mouth open as He realized the hoof was connected to him. “What happen-” the feminine voice cut off.

“Spell,” a woozy voice emanated from his mouth. “Mind swap.”

Spike made a confused face, pointing at the unconscious mare and the changeling.

The Twilight inside blushed. “Oh. Oooooh. I see. Sorry about that. Head, still woozy.” She looked at Spike. “Basically, the spell appears to have transplanted my mind into this body. Didn’t expect it would do ...oh gosh! Are you alright in there?” She poked her head.

“Fine,” her mouth said. “Minor shock. Give me few minutes.”

Twilight spent the next thirty minutes checking her body out and remembering how to walk why Spike convinced the worried guards outside that everything was fine.

Twilight stretched, lightly flapping her new insect like wings. “Alright, I guess I need to go back and check out that portal,” she said. “Since my body is now also in a coma, I guess we should hook up the life support to ... myself.”

She scratched her head. “That’s so weird.” She shook her head. “Don’t worry Spike. I’ll get them back. Just keep our bodies safe for us, alright?”

Spike looked like he dearly wanted to go with her, but managed to hold himself back. “...No problem Twilight. I can’t promise to prevent muscle atrophy, though,” he added weakly.

Twilight suppressed her own well of worries, but managed to force a grin to her face. “I’ll do my best.”

And then she was gone.

“... I want you to listen very carefully,” it intoned. She leaned in a little closer. “It’s a very important secret that none of the others know about, and it helps make this operation run smoothly.” Little beads of sweat appeared on her forehead.

Who is this? I never heard of this pony before. Is he a commander, hidden but the one who actually pulls the strings? A powerful warrior? Keeper of Secrets? Oh my gosh, what if he’s an enemy? Do a have a plan for this scenario? I can’t fail-!

“Die Twilight”

Twilight the changeling’s eyes shrunk to pinpricks. With the speed borne of weeks of practice, she flipped open a silver pocket watch and pushed its trigger.

BANG

Twilight flew forward, feeling like a large hoof had slapped her from behind, and tumbled over the table. She managed to glimpse the fake corpse the watch generated, then quickly hurried around in the shadows. She froze when she saw Gilda walk in, poking the corpse. She silently summoned a baseball bat and ended the cloaking spell with a crackle.

Gilda spun around, her eyes wide with shock. A meter of hard pine wood slammed off her cheek. She bounced off the table once, her gun clattering off to the side. She grinned groggily at her, eyes unfocused. “Hreey,” she slurred. “Yerr a ded rin’ner for dat Engi.” Twilight swung the bat once more, knocking the griffoness out cold.

“You know,” Twilight said. “You really shouldn’t call out your attacks. It gives your opponent a chance to counter it.”

She levitated over the gun, somewhat disappointed that Gilda didn’t carry any extra rounds, and deposited it into the bag with her notepad.

The changeling/pony rested the bat on her shoulders and trotted out of the cave, a whirl of smoke briefly obscuring her as she recast a “Not my Problem” spell on herself.

A few minutes later, Gilda’s head bounced off the floor when the fake corpse melted away.

Elsewhere

A journalist stared at a steel working factory, named “Torra’s Fishing Industries..”

“....This is not what the picture said it would look like.”

11. Mare vs. Machine

Mare vs. Machine

The Engineer stood by a small screen, nodding her head at the voice.

“Yes....I understand....raid the League, steal some of their items.”

As she listened to her new orders, the Director crept up a corner and peeked out at her. “Found you,” she muttered under her breath. She quickly covered her mouth with a hoof, worrying she spoke too loud. When no reaction came, she relaxed just a tiny bit. Now, just to prove a point...

She crept out of her hiding spot and leveled her stolen gun at the Engineer’s head. Two sharp reports echoed throughout the hallway.

Both shots slammed into the back of her skull and neck, quickly ending any screams before they started. The Engineer slumped onto the control panel, smearing blood as she crumpled lifelessly.

The Director sighed and stowed away the gun. Her disguised burned away around her. “Get up. Both of us know you’re faking it. I know you have the souls of my friends, and I intend to take them back.”

A few seconds passed before the Engineer stirred. Purple fur matted with dried blood covered half of her face, barely covering up the bits of black steel and wire underneath. Torn black skin tangled under her face where she smashed into the wall. Her eyes zoomed in on the Director. ”Origin Detected. How are you still functioning. Has the soul drain malfunctioned.

The Director snarled. “Oh it worked alright. I had to borrow a body so I could beat you up for it. You’re not going to hoof them over peacefully, are you?”

”Negatory”

“So be it.” Her bat was out in a flash, dashing towards the machine. She swung it in a downward arc, but the Engineer caught it against her foreleg without much difficulty. A hissing sound emanated from the robot’s back. The Director’s eyes widened; she quickly ran to an adjacent hallway as a machine gun unfolded out of the Engineer’s back.

Heavy caliber bullets showered plaster into her. She ran through a few experimental spells in her mind as the Engineer continued to fire, and possibly slowly advancing towards her. “Let’s see if this works.” She casted a small spell matrix around the bat, creating a large bubble forming around the top half. She poked the tip out and winced at the amount of reverbations from all the bullets slamming into it. But, a small grin spread across her sweating face when she saw the energy swirling around the vibrating bubble. “Thanks, Chrysalis, for this Energy Conservation Spell.”

She shot out a small flare, temporarily blinding the Engineer as she dashed out of cover. By the time the machine’s optics had returned to normal lighting conditions, the Director was buzzing through the air, bat in her grip and swinging. Frowning, the Engineer simply raised her hoof to stop it.

That’s when the Director released 10% of the energy. The force of thirty 10mm bullets blasted her in the chest, tearing bits of skin and her metal endoskeleton away. She slid to a stop a few feet away, her newly exposed red eye glaring back murderously.

The Director smirked. “So that’s where you kept us.” The Engineer looked down, surprised that the damage was enough to expose the Amulet of Souls that powered her extra abilities. “Now if you would excuse me, I’m going to put them back where they belong.”

She leapt at her again, alternating between blasting out shockwaves or bucking. The Engineer steadfastly blocked ever hit, braced properly now that she knew how much force was being thrown her way. A tiny bit of orange light pulsed within the gems of the amulet. The Director grunted in annoyance at being unable to do much damage to the amulet inside the Engineer, and was running out of mana. The amulet switched to shining baby blue.

With a swift side step, the Engineer slipped under the Director’s guard, sending her off balance from the sudden disappearance of a counterweight. “Oof!” she cried.

The Engineer slid forward a step and raised a hoof over her head for a devastating right hook...but paused. The Director looked up at her, a pained grimace underneath her bat. “Ah. You’re learning.”

The Director rolled back, and the two of them circled one another, the machine looking to avoid the energy conserving bat and the mare seeking to remove the embedded amulet.

“Darn it,” the Director whispered to herself. “This is what happens when you rush in without a plan of action.”

The amulet flashed red. ”Come on,” the Engineer taunted. ”Ran out of options? I’m sorry, but I’m just better than you, meatbag.

The Director was barely paying attention. In her mind, she was running through a list of things she has and options that are open. Okay, items. I have me, my bat, three bullets for a gun, my notebook and quill. We’re in a hallway, with one intersection behind me. So, a path with a blocked line of sight....

She carefully hid the floating revolver coming out of her bag with her bat, sliding it and her notebook into the adjacent hallway as she passed by. A few revolutions later, the Director noticed that the Engineer was closing in on her. Okay, its now or never.

She slid back, her bat held in front of her, snarling.

“Hello, dears,” a voice said. “Am I intruding?” A bit of smoke fell around the Queen of Changelings, Chrysalis. She held a hoof cannon in her telekinetic grip, its barrel wide enough for a suicidal unicorn to wear it. She smirked as she leveled it against the Engineers head.

The Engineer spun around and narrowed her eyes, her pendant flashing pink. She crouched ... and stumbled to the side, barely missing the bullet when she realized it wasn’t responding. She narrowed her eyes, choosing to pay more attention with her eyes than depend on the apparently malfunctioning amulet. She was able react somewhat faster, though three small scraps nicked her cheek bones. She stepped side to side, waiting for her to reload so she could counterattack.

A spark of insight bloomed inside her mind. Alert: Discrepancy detected. 1) Her accuracy has gone completely down. 2) That was ten shots.

“Sky Piercer!”

The Engineer spun around in surprise, but it was too late. The Director, enshrouded in green flames flowing onto her from the bat, charged in low and fast, and blew a gaping hole off the right side of her body. The Engineer ricocheted off to the side, her right foreleg twitching uselessly. She growled, and pulled the damaged limb completely off. Tiny manipulators popped out of her neck, reconnecting to the dangling wires. Gears whirred, exposing a small shotgun.

She looked up, and froze.

The broken amulet hovered beside her, the gems embedded inside popping off. The changeling smirked, smoke floating from the gem into her horn. She smirked.

Lavender flames erupted around her chitinous body. Purple fur flowed behind it, and her hole filled mane was replaced with a sparkling purple striped cut. She grew a poofy pink tail, a orange hoof, a bright blue eye and the other a fierce red. Stripes of white curled around her horn like a helix.

“Welcome back, my friends. And now for you...”

The Engineer growled and fired off multiple shots. The Director twitched in place, moving just enough for every bullet to miss. She smirked. Her bat glowed, and then multiple smoky copies materialized besides it. Her blue eye flashed with energy. “There is only one Twilight Sparkle”

The Director dashed forwards, her cloud of needle sharp bats almost resembling fencing swords trailing behind her. The Engineer flinched when she passed by, froze... and nothing happened.

A few sparks fell out of the Director’s blue eye. She shook it off. “I wouldn’t move if I were you.” The Engineer, of course, ignored her. She spun around and fell apart from every joint.

Twilight levitated a cloud of screws and bolts towards herself. “I warned you.” She dropped the pieces and walked down the hallway.

She paused for a moment, basking in the spirits of her friends coursing through her. She was about to start moving again when she heard the sound of clapping. Chrysalis walked towards her, giving a smirk. “Great fight there, little pony. Bravo.”

Twilight snarled. “You were actually here? Why didn’t you help? That could’ve saved a bunch of time!”

“It was amusing to watch. Besides, you came out fine. Beat the machine that was supposed to be better than you,” Chrysalis replied. “You should be proud.”

Twilight blushed momentarily. “Well, it was mostly my friends helping me...” she nuzzled a floating yellow speck hovering around her.

She coughed. “Ahem. We should be getting out of here. Where are the rest?”

Chrysalis pointed behind her. “I was scouting out the place. The rest of the team are coming along. Kinda difficult when half of them are out of it.”

True enough, there were some labored wheezing noise coming through the hallways of the facility. Luna stumbled into view, covered in blood. “I had to fight all the guards around this place myself,” she explained. “The bug over there kept on avoiding fighting unless she could get a clean kill.”

Chrysalis just smiled and shrugged.

Luna stopped with Firefly on her back, Nightmare Moon temporarily absorbed into Luna’s helmet, Cadence having a magic bubble on her head dragging her forwards, who in turn was dragging Sombra forwards.

Celestia was chasing some flaming butterflies Discord made out of an aerosol can and cardboard. Discord cracked his wrists. “Feels so good to be back,” he said.

“Alright, this way,” Twilight said, guiding them to an exit. They went down to an empty train station, and set a small signal into a hidden mailbox slot. “Brace yourselves. The operators on the other side decided that reopening the portal to fit all of us would catch too much attention and take too long. Instead, we borrowed some of Spike’s fire. Sorry, but this might hurt a bit. Didn’t have time to find other solutions.”

Luna waved her off. “Its fine. You’ve got us out of there, and that’s enough. Plus, I want to get rid of the lunatic in my mind right now.” She winced. “She’s whining how I’m running from the battlefront. Somepony must’ve gave her a concussion somewhere. In any case, we have to rehabilitate the rest of them.”

She glanced at Discord playing catch with Celetia. “Jury’s still out on this one whether him being less energetic is a good thing or not.”

Twilight nodded, and sent a few passcodes through the tiny crack. A few seconds later, a jet of green fire enveloped the entire group.

And then there was silence.

Author's Note

Well then. Exactly 0 comments on the one I claimed that would be "shark-jumping" territory. That's bloody encouraging. Problem is, I have no idea how to fix it, so its going to stay shitty.
I said I was going to finish this thing no matter the responses, or heck, the lack of them, so here we are. This chapter is the one I'd being itching to write since day one. Twilight vs Twilight, and with my favorite weapon ability type: "Energy absorption and reflection". Nice attack you got there. That's a good one too. I've just gonna throw it back at you, if you don't mind.

Note: The next chapter is a self insert of sorts. Its a me that has a significant lack of morals and inhibitions, and really only cares about his own goals. Everything is just a story to be inspired from. To copy from. To steal from.

Optional: Results

Optional Reading: Results

I stared dully at the massive bank of computer screens before me. One of the cameras showed Magic 9: Team 1 escape his pocket dimension, the Foundry. I let them; I had already collected the data I needed.

I stuck my hand into a pocket and pulled out a long, battery shaped rod with a green light at the end. I could have just as easily pulled the plug, but I prefer to keep the information to myself. I pulled out multiple hard drives and memory cards, then fried the entire system with the screwdriver. I smiled at the acrid smoke leaking through vents.

I pushed away from the office chair. With a tap, the chair turned to ash, and floated away. I walked out of the small building and into my ten mile radius personal bubble universe. I could see the base I had constructed for the Magic 9. Dubbed The Foundry by me. Heh.

A large warpship hovered in the sky. I pulled out a phone and turned off and app. The ship wavered, then disappeared. Didn’t need them anymore.

I walked away from it, towards an invisible barrier. I passed through, and was met with a massive hanger, with multiple conveyor belts, hooks, and clamps hauling material into the factory hidden within. I even saw a piece of a Dalek and a swirly fruit going overhead.

I went inside, and downloaded all of my files into the mainframe of the supercomputer I dubbed The Industry. Molten steel splashed behind as the machine went to work, constructing a basic prototype out of a random file.

I smirked. They are so creative.

I picked up a black horn with shield decals and a horn with flame decals.

Weapons unlocked.

Author's Note

If you need an explanation, its this.
His/my title is Shtik, labeled "H.M. Conagher", and leans towards jobs often categorized as "Extermination" missions.
He works for the safety of the universe, and will do anything to ensure it. His specialty is weapons, and lots of them. Often times, he borrows techniques from other worlds, because he reasons having too much to know what to do with is better than not enough. Plus, he's nearly immortal, in a sense, so he has time to figure out what combos his new tool can be paired with.

Oh well. On to the next thing.

X. Warning to Reader

Would like an editor to make a final check through, cuz I hate the dialogue. Some of the stuff may be a bit confusing: its the second half of the migraine I gave everyone. This next chapter is the reason this quirky interview series became weird.
Everything below this is spoilers. Check back here if you still don't understand what's going on.

Back here?
Alright.
Basically, an unknown organization kidnapped the Princesses and other certain individuals and caused 5 of the EoH to fall into comas, Twilight is left trying to keep the country together (offscreen) while slowly succumbing too. A changeling sent by Luna and Chrysalis delivers a mind transfer spell to Twilight, who accepts and is transported to a changeling's body, disrupting the draining effects. Her natural body immediately falls into a coma, and can't be returned to unless the life force drain is cut.

She finds where the last portal point is and trains for a month. After she received a message from Chrysalis and Luna, she intercepts the original Director and takes his place. She cast a "non importance" spell on herself, making everyone who didn't expect her to not notice the similarities between Twilight the Engineer and Twilight the interviewer. Twilight was mainly trying to figure out where the coma spell was coming from, and found it in the Engineer. She was worried that the Engi might see through her, but managed to escape her attention.

Gilda (the Assistant aka Pauling-expy) takes her to a cave where she claims there's another person to interview that no one knows about.

Author's Note

Sorry. I hope you don't hate me.