The Zen of Apples

by LazySage

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, Random
Length: 5714

Big McIntosh has always been seen as the strong and silent type. If he can get away with a monosyllabic response, he will do so. He prefers things like this, much simpler. After all, how would ponies react if they knew the stallion behind the facade?

Big McIntosh has always been seen as the strong and silent type. If he can get away with a monosyllabic response, he will do so. He prefers things like this, much simpler. After all, how would ponies react if they knew the stallion behind the facade?

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-09-12 22:05:21 UTC

Thought

Thought

The hot scorching sun bore down upon the village of Ponyville. Many of the citizens could be found relaxing beneath shade, away from the blistering rays. Others spent the hot Saturday afternoon cooling off in the relaxing waters of the local lake. Pegasi could be seen afloat in the sky, darting wherever their fancy struck them in an attempt to cool down. Yes indeed, clearly this day was one that many a pony would spend relaxing wherever the heat was scarce. It was not, however, a pleasant day for anypony spending it doing work. Especially not for those working beneath the hot sting of Celestia's sun.

Marching resolutely, after a long day of working himself to the bone on Sweet Apple Acres, Big “Big Mac” McIntosh made for a rather sorry sight. His eyes remained firmly on the path before him as he pulled the last of the day's harvest toward the barn for storage. A sharp breath of air from his muzzle blew the sweat stained fringe of his blonde mane to escape his eyes. The scarlet coated stallion turned a weary gaze toward the slightly clouded sky. What he wouldn't give to have had some clouds providing shade while busy with his work earlier.

Maybe even some wind to keep him cool would have been nice, he mused thoughtfully. The tired  farmpony had been working his aching body into exhaustion for the last two weeks. He would not normally be this fatigued, however, having offered to take on all of Applejack's chores to let her spend time with, and get to know her new friends better, had taken its toll on him, both in body and mind.

Big McIntosh felt that his dear sister deserved at least that much, considering she had risked her life with five other mares, not even two weeks ago, and saved Equestria from eternal night under  Nightmare Moon's hooves.

Applejack had been concerned for his health at first, but he had waved her off, stating that his body was made of tougher stuff. The first week had been hell, and he'd had little sleep, but ultimately had managed to complete all the chores.

His trouble started during his second week. The combination of an exhausted body and mind had allowed his thoughts to wander into dangerous territories. Thoughts that he had attempted to keep from being known to himself for many years had started appearing again.

Many knew him as a simple farmpony, one that preferred monosyllabic answers to questions, that enjoyed stoic silence rather than socializing with others. And they were right, this was the image he had worked hard at to present to the world. The more simple, and the fewer questions that were asked of him, the less he was required to think. To think, meant to acknowledge that he was more than 'normal', more than he appeared.

He had been 'normal' once, and had hated it. To become something more, he had sought enlightenment. As a colt, his desire would have been called a foal's silly dream by many. To him, it meant the world back then. And so, much like Applejack would do years later, he left the farm in search of answers.

The blonde maned colt spent a full year traveling wherever his heart led him. From the dangerous snow peaked mountains of Macintosh Hills, through the barren wastelands known as the Badlands, he searched. Further, through the treacherous Hayseed Swamps he journeyed, passing through the sea town of Horseshoe Bay, and even further onward to Baltimare he traveled still. He beheld the fields and farms of Filly Delphia and witnessed the beauty of the skyscrapers in Manehattan.

It was when he reached the great Neighagra Falls that his journey of self-discovery finally came to an end. He had caught a ride on a small boat across the massive lake beneath the Falls. It had happened during this trip across the great expanse of water.

To this day he was uncertain if he had hallucinated or not, but on that boat trip, he had looked into the water and had seen a large floating.. something. It was the same size as his own body, he had even remarked under his breath at how the thing's color perfectly matched his own scarlet coat. Surely, this was the answer he had been searching so long for?

When the boat drew closer to it, he had eagerly turned it around to inspect it further, only to recoil in fear and horror at what he beheld. The something, was the body of a clearly dead pony. It was himself.

Seeing himself dead at the cost of self-discovery had changed him, cleared his clouded mind even. On that day the true journey to self-realization began, and several months later, on the way  returning to his beloved Ponyville, he finally did it. He had become one with himself and the world. He had expected to feel never-ending happiness. He had expected to divine the mystery behind life itself.

He felt miserable instead. The more he saw, the more he beheld; the more he thought. His new thoughts and opinions scared him greatly. What had he become, that he would now think in such a queer way?

His first encounter with other ponies after he became enlightened was an eye-opener for him. He had met and spoken to a young couple, still freshly married. They had been in a devastated state when he spoke to them. Genuinely worried for them he had asked them what ailed them, and they had told him. The colt had barely heard their problem, before his mind had conjured a solution to their plight.

The couple was very appreciative of his advice, to the point that it made the young colt very uncomfortable. Never before in his young life had anypony bowed before him. Never before had anypony gazed at him with something bordering on worship. It had frightened him to his core.

Big McIntosh vowed on that day to stop anything like that from ever happening again. Thinking had caused him to help the sad couple, which in turn made them do something that truly frightened him. The solution was simple to him. He had to stop thinking. The less he used his mind, the smaller the risk of him thinking and being seen as anything other than 'normal'. The colt returned home to Ponyville and swore to keep his mind empty by focusing on hard work. How fortunate then, that he was born a farmpony. That was one problem solved.

To further prevent his mind from thinking, he constructed a facade that would keep other ponies from asking him questions again. After all, who would ask a country bumpkin questions that mattered? Who would bother with a 'slow' stallion that only communicated in monosyllabic grunts?

Back to the present, Big McIntosh had been overworking himself, both in body and mind. The extra farm work exhausted him, and many times he had found his mind wandering and thinking.

Thinking was bad, so he stressed his mind by trying to NOT think as much as possible whenever he noticed a slip. Understandingly, the combination of these two exhausting activities eventually led to the scarlet coated stallion's current situation.

He was thinking. He was using his mind again, after so many years of trying to keep it without thought. And honestly? He was simply too tired to care in his current state. So after many years of keeping up his facade of silent stoicism, Big McIntosh started being less of 'normal', and more of himself. His true self.

The stallion returned to the farm house in a calm trot, hungry after a hard day's work. He felt his mouth water in anticipation, just at the thought of what Granny Smith could be cooking. His eyes caught a few stray clouds as he approached the door.

“The clouds..” He mumbled beneath his breath. “The only birds that never sleep.”

“Whatsit, sonny boy?!” A loud voice interrupted his monologue. “Ya need ta speak up! I can't hear ya'll with all o'  that there low voley yum!”

“It's 'volume', Granny Smith.” The stallion corrected absently. He rose an eyebrow at the wizened mare standing in the now opened doorway. “Pardon, Granny, but ah thought ya'd be busy with dinner by now. Was there anythang ya'll needed?”

Granny Smith seemed to scrutinize her grandson with a sharp eye. He seemed... different today. Perhaps taking on all of young AJ's chores for the past two weeks was starting to affect him? She'd have to have a chat with the little filly later. Right now, she had more important things to worry about. Like feeding her poor starving grandson!

“Dern' tootin'! Ah can't make m'ah apple cobbler without batter, sonny boy! Go in ta town an' fetch yer ol' granny somma flour, alrighty?!”

Normally a 'normal' Big McIntosh would have balked at having to go into the town for something trivial like flour. It meant risking the possibility of communication with other ponies, which it turn meant possibly thinking. Unfortunately for the blonde maned stallion, he was too tired to realize this, and merely nodded at his grandmother.

“Sure thing, Granny.” He agreed, mind occupied by thoughts of floating dishes of apple cobbler. He turned around and started the small trek into town. He had enough bits in his saddlebag to cover the flour.

“Try ta bring back a bran' spankin' new marefriend fer once, ya silly lug! Pref'rably one with nice an' wide foal bearin' hips, y'hear?! I ain't got fore-” Big McIntosh tuned out the rest of Granny Smith's rant. She did the same thing whenever he left for town. He had long since gotten used to her obsession with getting great grand children out of him. His mind was more focused on the taste of apple cobbler that he would be having later.

The farmpony wondered briefly why he never did bring a marefriend home. Perhaps work kept him too busy? Maybe he hadn't found somepony whose company he enjoyed yet? His thoughts remained blissfully ignorant over the fact that he should be thinking as little as possible.

As he walked into town he noticed the town seemed to be in a state of disarray. Everywhere he gazed he saw ponies running around corners and converging in large groups, seemingly searching for something.

So busy observing his surroundings was the stallion, that he didn't notice somepony right in front of him right until he bumped into them.

“Ooph!” Big McIntosh blinked at the featherlight bump into his neck and raised an eyebrow at the feminine sounding cry. “Pardon me Miss, ah was a might distracted.”

He saw the mare in front of him back up and finally got a good look at whom he had bumped into. A canary cream coat, much lighter than Fluttershy- AJ's friend, was the first part of her he noticed, next his eyes fell on her raspberry shaded mane. His ears twitched as she spoke again.

“Geez, what're you made out of? It felt like walking into a wall of- Big Mac?” The mare seemed to goggle at the stallion once she got a good look at him.

Big McIntosh blinked at the pretty young mare and searching his memories for anypony that matched her. Did he know her from somewhere? His eyes widened marginally as he finally remembered.

“Rose, right?” At the young mare's hesitant nod he continued. “G'd afternoon to ya, Miss Rose.”

The raspberry maned mare got an odd expression on her face. “How have you been, Big Mac? Goodness! It's been years since we last spoke.” She tapped her hoof bashfully on the ground beneath her and smiled sheepishly. “I mean, what with you being so super busy at Sweet Apple Acres and all... I, n-no, we, your old friends were pretty worried when you stopped showing up at school, you know?”

The scarlet coated stallion briefly wondered why he hadn't seen her in town before. He had gone to town for errands many times before, and Rose lived here in Ponyville much like himself. Perhaps she had been busy in the few times he ventured into town. Come to think of it, this was the first time in a long, long time that he had gone into town on a weekend. His visits in town were usually strictly for business.

He shrugged at her. “Apologies, Miss Rose. Life has kept me mighty busy in the past few years. Had ta pick up the slack on the farm, what with ma' and pa'..” He gestured helplessly in the air with his hoof.

The young mare seemed to shrink into herself and looked piteously at him. Why did it feel like he was supposed to feel affronted at having a look of pity aimed at him? Strangely enough, he didn't really feel anything. Huh...

“O-oh! I'm so sorry Big Mac, I didn't mean to bring up something sensitive like that.” She shuffled her hooves awkwardly and tried to avoid eye contact with him. Something rather difficult to do, considering he kept his eyes locked onto her own in the same deadpan he always viewed the world with.

Big McIntosh tilted his head, as if dealing with a puzzle, all the while still eying the young mare before him. “It ain't bothered me none in quite some time, Miss Rose, no worries.” He offered her a cheeky smile, something he had not done in many years to anypony but his own family perhaps.

At Rose's body slowly starting to lose its tension, the stallion continued. “'Course, ya'll might wanna avoid mentioning somethin' like that in front of m'ah two baby sisters. They still miss ma' and pa' somethin' fierce.”

He blinked as he saw an odd look enter Rose's face. “What? Something on m'ah face?”

Rose turned her face away from Big McIntosh for a few moments, he thought he saw some pink tinting her cheeks, then turned back and looked questioningly at him.

“U-um, please don't take this the wrong way, Big Mac. But, do you usually talk this much? I-I mean not t-that there's anything wrong with that of course! It's just that, ponies talk! You know? And, well, um, t-that is, they always talk about how you, um.. Well, everypony says you're not very outspoken. And, and, you usually only really answer yes, or no if you can get away with it! But, just now you talked a bunch! And I'm really happy, because it means those other gossipy ponies were super wrong, but, I-I. H-hey! What's so funny?!” She demanded, eyes narrowed and a pout on her muzzle. The nerve of the stallion! Laughing at her!

Big McIntosh smiled warmly at the young mare. “Why would ah want ta talk much, when ya'll can talk for both of us? I don't mind listenin', ya know?” He shrugged. “After all, ya'll learn far more just by listenin' than by talkin'.”

The raspberry maned mare seemed to relax and look thoughtfully at the farmpony before her, a warm smile now on her muzzle. She tilted her head to the side questioningly. “Were you always this much fun Big Mac? It's been so long, I- I don't really remember so well.” She grinned bashfully at him.

The crimson coated stallion shrugged. “I am what I am, Miss Rose. It ain't much more to it than that.”

The mare nodded, and turned bright eyes and a beaming smile on her old school friend. “So what brings you to town Mackie? Farmpony business in town?” She asked, a teasing grin on her muzzle.

The farmpony in question blinked at the strange nickname the mare just used to address him. He remembered a certain pink partying pony friend of AJ's that also called him like that. He wasn't sure how he felt about it, so he simply decided to think about it later.

“Here ta pick up flour, actually. Can't make apple cobbler without flour, hm?”

She nodded in agreement. “Oh, absolutely! I remember getting all set to make some pancakes, only to discover I'm missing ingredients for batter. Come to think of it, it happens quite often.”

The young mare finished reflecting of past pancake failures and looked up to notice the farmpony seemed focused on the surrounding ponies. “Um, Big Mac?”

He turned to look at the mare and saw the questioning look on her face as she pointed toward to ponies he had been looking at. He blinked. “Apologies, Miss Rose. Just wonderin' why everypony seems ta be such a frenzied state. Sure looks like they're lookin' all over for somethin'”

Rose perked up, happy to help out. “Oh that? Well, I'm not really sure myself, but I heard that somepony in town has a spare ticket to the grand galloping gala! Isn't that amazing? Well, everypony is looking to track down whoever it is and try to convince them to give them the spare ticket.”

Big McIntosh blinked.

A purple and screaming blur ran pasted them. It was followed by a screaming large mob of gala ticket obsessed ponies.

A cream colored mare ran past. “Please let me have your ticket! I'll be your bestest best friend foreveeeeer!”

A musclebound pegasus stallion flew past. “Gala ticket! YEEEEEEEEAH!! Gotta get some!”

Big McIntosh blinked again. “Huh...”

Illusion

Illusion

“Confound it!”

Granny Smith cursed as she wrestled with the bag of flour in front of her.

“Language, Granny Smith,” Big McIntosh chided gently, “Ya know how impressionable young Apple Bloom is.”

The wizened old mare glared sourly at her grandson as he entered the kitchen. She turned to the kitchen table where the filly in question sat, then let out a sigh of relief. Apple Bloom was too busy battling with her homework to have heard the curse.

She turned back to Big McIntosh and felt her eye twitch in irritation at the amused glint in his eyes. “Give yer granny a hoof, will ya? I keep sayin', they need ta stop makin' and usin' these here blasted child-proof flour whatsits! Why, back in MY day, we didn' NEED these fargling-”

Big McIntosh tuned out Granny Smith's rant with practiced ease, took the bag of flour and calmly tore it open, child-proof indeed. He placed the bag of flour in front of her, and turned to the kitchen table.

He felt a grin twitch at his lips at what he saw. His youngest sibling was giving the pages of homework in front of her a death glare that even Nightmare Moon would be envious of.

Taking his seat at the table across from her, he saw that she was busy with math. Strange, he always figured that she would take more after him than Applejack. AJ absolutely hated mathematics. Evidently young Apple Bloom felt the same.

Thinking of schoolwork made him recall his own years spent in the Ponyville Schoolhouse, the few that he attended, anyway.

Big McIntosh never had much difficulty with the offered subjects, and spent more time sleeping than studying in class, much to his teacher's chagrin. If there was something he regretted in his short life, it was not completing his education. Sure, it wouldn't do him a world of good now, considering he worked for himself. But the thought of having the certification behind his name would be nice.

He was brought out of his thoughts when a hot cup of tea was placed in front of him. He thanked Granny Smith and eyed the cup of steaming liquid.

Tea had never really been something he enjoyed. It made him feel sleepy. The complete opposite of what coffee did for him. Coffee gave him the extra energy he needed to wake up and be alert for work, an incredible beverage, if he thought so himself.

Granny Smith frequently tried to get him to enjoy the pleasures of tea, much to his displeasure. In fact, he had not touched the stuff since he was a colt.

The scarlet stallion bit his lip thoughtfully, still eying the cooling cup of tea. Maybe being sleepy would do him some good. He hadn't been getting much sleep as of late. He would need a good night's rest for tomorrow, what with that picnic he'd been invited to.

Oh, right, the picnic. After he'd bid Rose a good afternoon, she had hesitated before asking him a most curious question. “Say, Mackie?” she had asked, giving him a hopeful look. “Would you like to hang out tomorrow? W-with all of us, I mean! I'm sure your old school friends would enjoy seeing you again.”

The farmpony had paused to give her a curious look, and agreed. He didn't want to look into those shining big eyes and deny her. It really had been a long time since he'd seen any of his fellow schoolmates. It would be interesting at the very least.

The hug she gave him afterward was nice too. He'd even chuckled as she stammered out an apology and the details of where to meet up, before rushing off to complete her own errands.

Big McIntosh briefly returned to the present when Applejack entered the kitchen followed by the other five elements of harmony. His sister had probably invited them over for dinner.

The stallion observed the odd group of mixed personalities for a moment before turning back to gazing into his tea. His reflection stared back with the same indifferent expression on his own face.

He took a sip.

Hmm, not bad, could do with some more sugar, though. Oh well, can't have everything.

The stallion was disturbed again from his thoughts when somepony latched onto him. He briefly considered letting out a sigh at the sight of a familiar pink mane, but decided not to.

“Hi~ Mackie, whatcha doin'? Ooh! Is that tea? I didn't know you liked tea, 'cus you're always drinking coffee whenever I see you, so this is pretty darn strange! Hey! Maybe you're secretly not big Mackie! Maybe you're a creepy-icky-nasty-meany bug pony that can change his looks?! GASP! Oh no! We've gotta rescue you! Wait, where is the real you, Mr. Not-big-mac-but-instead-an-icky-bug-pony-body-snatching-pony, huh, huh, huh?!” Pinkie climbed onto his shoulders, leaned over his head and peered into his eyes searchingly.

For his own sanity, Big McIntosh decided not to respond. He recalled an old Colt Scouts nugget of wisdom. When faced with a bear, play dead. Perhaps if he stayed absolutely still she would go away. Like a bear… a pink, hyperactive, candy-guzzling bear.

The farmpony kept an indifferent expression on his face, matching Pinkie Pie's stare with one of his own.

He calmly took a sip of his tea.

The pink maned mare deflated. “Awww, pooh, not even a reaction?” She narrowed her eyes at him. “Oh! You're good! But not Pinkie good! I'm keeping my eyes on you, buster!” The mare pulled a kazoo out of nowhere and blew it into his face. “PFWOOOT!”

Big McIntosh blinked.

Pinkie Pie felt an eyebrow twitch.

He took another sip of his tea.

“Awww, you're REALLY good!” She sat down to his left, folded her front hooves and let out a huff of frustration.

“Pinkie Pie, dear, please don't disturb him. He looks simply exhausted. Why, the poor dear must have worked himself to death! I can't imagine having to work in this absolutely, dreadful heat!” an indigo maned mare sat down to his right, Rarity if he recalled correctly.

“I apologize for Pinkie's antics, my dear. She can be a bit extreme sometimes when trying to get somepony to smile,” she explained, offering an apologetic grin.

“Ain't a problem, Miss Rarity. After all, Ah'm used ta dealin' with young Apple Bloom's antics. Pinkie's own aren't that much worse.”

“Hey!” “Hey~!” Two offended voices cried out.

He continued, skillfully ignoring their outrage. “Thank ya kindly, all the same,” he offered a polite smile.

Rarity smiled delightfully. “Oh my! A true gentlecolt, and with such fine manners too!” The mare turned a pointed look to the elder Apple clan sister. “If only some of it could rub off on your brutish sibling. She can be so abrasive at times!”

Applejack slammed down the glass of water she was drinking. “Say what now?!” She glared heatedly at the light gray coated mare. “Who're ya callin' 'uh-braysive'?!”

Rarity tittered daintily. “I notice you did not deny your brutishness!”

The Stetson wearing farmpony growled, directing a glare at the fashionista. “Ah'll show ya m'ah brutish hoof if'n ya don't simmer down!”

“Girls! Girls! Calm down! Friends don't fight!”

Twilight Sparkle huffed in agitation. Everypony had gotten along just fine not even ten minutes ago. She had hoped to end the day on a high note after the gala-ticket madness. Some days it felt as if Rarity and Applejack were like oil and water. “Now, what do you have to say to each other?”

Applejack scoffed but begrudgingly extended a hoof to Rarity. “Sorry ah threat'nd ta knock yer pretty face in, Rarity.”

The fashionista sighed and accepted the farmpony's gesture. “And I apologize for riling you up, Applejack. It was most... unladylike of me.

Twilight smiled brightly and took a seat on the opposite side of the table, next to Apple Bloom.

She was joined by Rainbow Dash to her left. The athletic pegasus seemed to be deep in thought, probably picturing herself flying with the Wonderbolts at the gala.

The table's attention was drawn to a groan from the youngest member of clan Apple.

“Ponyfeathers! Ah really, really don' like math!” she whined.

Twilight perked up. “Oh, it's not that bad, Apple Bloom.” She turned to look over the young filly's head. “What are you having difficulty with?”

Apple Bloom sulked. “This here dang word problem, it just don' make any sense!”

The lavender unicorn furrowed her brow and read the question. “A dress is on sale for 97 bits. You don't have the bits, so you borrow 50 from one friend, and 50 more from another. You now have 100 bits. You bought the dress and have 3 bits left. You give both your friends 1 bit each and keep 1 bit for yourself. You now owe your friends 49 bits each. So 49 plus 49 equals 98, plus your 1 bit equals 99 bits. Where is the missing bit?”

Twilight frowned and rubbed her eyes tiredly. “What on earth? This doesn't make any sense!”

Apple Bloom agreed wholeheartedly. “Yeah, what's up with this stupid problem?”

Rarity clucked her tongue in disapproval. “What I would like to know is who would be insane enough to pay ninety-seven bits for one dress. The most I ask for some of my most extravagant creations never exceed seventy bits!”

Pinkie beamed at the fashionista. “I dunno, Rarity. Maybe it's made of all the tastiest candies in all the land! Hmmm, yummy! Aw pooh, now I'm in the mood for some sweets,” she said with a pout.

Applejack scoffed. “Phooey! Ya'll don't need them fancy math’er’matics to buck a tree an' handle a farm. Nope. No sirree!”

Twilight sighed and shot Applejack a stern look. “Applejack, math is very important in all aspects of life.” The mare glared at the problem again, and felt an eye twitch in irritation. “Anyways, this problem doesn't make any sense! Where does that bit go missing? Just what kind of problem is this?”

“It’s one of false logic..”

The table went silent as everypony stared at the pony that had spoken.

Big McIntosh raised an eyebrow questioningly. “What?”

Twilight scrunched her muzzle in confusion. “What do you mean by that, Big Mac?”

The stallion shrugged. “The bit never went missin', Miss Sparkle. Ya still had it all along.” He drank the last of his tea and smacked his lips. Not bad.

He turned to face Twilight again. “Why are ya'll adding the last bit that ya have left to the ninety-eight ya still owe? Yer supposed to subtract it if'n ya pay it back, which makes ya owe ninety-seven. There's no bit missin' at all. It’s pretty silly really, when ya think about it.”

Twilight blinked in surprise, then slowly raised her hoof and pinched the bridge of her muzzle. “I can't believe I didn't notice that...” She perked up and scrutinized the stallion. “You appear to have a knack for numbers, Big Mac. How much do you know?”

Big McIntosh felt a shiver run up his spine at the hungry look on Twilight's face; she wasn't going to eat him or something, right?

“Ah only know how ta do the basics, Miss Sparkle, nothing fancy like yer expectin'. Jus' simple addin', subtractin', multiplyin', division an' stuff. Heck! Ah reckon young Apple Bloom knows more than Ah do.”

The lavender mare merely grinned. “No need to be so modest, Big Mac! I'm sure you're more advanced than you realize. If you want, I can prove it to you even!”

Big McIntosh briefly entertained the thought of running for his life.

Pinkie Pie perked up. “Oh, oh, oh! I know! Let's play the counting game! Anypony can play it, I'll start us off!” She faced Rainbow Dash with a beaming grin. “You! What's one plus one?!”

The now alert athletic pegasus blinked slowly. “Wait... Is this supposed to be a trick question?”

The party pony wiggled her eyebrows suggestively. “Oooh, I don't know. Is it?”

“Then the answer is 'it'!”

Twilight held back the desire to correct the rainbow maned mare. “...What exactly do you mean by 'it', Rainbow Dash?”

Rainbow Dash smirked coyly, eyes narrow into slits. “Oh, you know what I'm talking about, Twilight...”

The lavender unicorn tilted her head to the side quizzically. “Um, no?”

“Eep!” she squirmed as her rainbow maned friend huddled up to her side, pulled her closer with a wing while rubbing her cheek against her own.

“You know, 'it'?” her smirk widened, “When one pony and another pony who are very good friends, get together and do 'it'.”

Thump!

Rainbow Dash cracked up as Twilight seemingly fainted. Her laughter quickly came to an end however, when Apple Bloom shyly spoke up.

“Um, what's 'it' mean? An' how does it involve two ponies?”

The table went silent again.

Big McIntosh blinked as a canary cream coated mare made herself known; Fluttershy, his mind supplied helpfully.

“O-oh! W-well, when two ponies a-are very friendly with each other, t-they, they...” her explanation became completely inaudible as she trailed off. From the rosy tint on her cheeks it didn't take a genius to guess what the rest of her explanation was about.

Applejack chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of her neck sheepishly. “Erm, ah reckon ya will find out when yer older, Apple Bloom.”

The filly in question pouted. “But ah wanna find out now! Ah'm not a lil' filly anymore!” She turned to Big Mac. “C'mon, big brother, please tell me what everypony means when they're talkin' about 'it'?”

The scarlet stallion briefly felt his mind shut down before restarting. “W-well! What 'it' is, is-” He looked at the others seated at the table; hoping somepony would bail him out. The mares pointedly avoided his eyes, all sporting blushes. Traitors!

Big McIntosh took a deep breath, thought of his 'happy place', and exhaled.

“Well Apple Bloom, it goes somethin' like this. There comes a time in a pony's life when they realize the world ain't flat, cider don't rain from the heavens, and Leprechauns’re only a fairy tale.”

The bearers of the elements of harmony goggled at the stallion. Was he actually going to tell a filly about something ppp-rated?!”

“Ya see, when two ponies that are real fond of one another get together, they do somethin' magical, and that is what 'it' is.”

The filly groaned and gave her older brother a pleading look. “But WHAT exactly is 'it', yer not makin' sense, Big Mac!”

“Right ya are, Apple Bloom. The 'it', the activity that two good friends do with one another, is...”

Apple Bloom leaned forward eagerly. The six mares paled. Was he actually going to-?

“Well, ah'll just come an' say it. That 'it', is when two ponies actually have a good time with one another.”

The element bearers gasped, he actually told an impressionable little filly something like that!

The filly in question smiled brightly. “Oh! Why didn't ya'll jus' say so from the start? Sheesh, ya'll are actin' like it's s'posed ter be somethin' real hush, hush-like. Ah do that all o' the time with Twist!”

Big McIntosh heard the familiar sound of several facehoofs. He couldn't blame them. Apple Bloom was as dense as she was cute.

Oh well, crisis averted.

Later...

The sound of snoring filled the room of the only stallion living on Sweet Apple Acres.

Big McIntosh let out an exhausted sigh, careful not to disturb the young filly cuddling by his side. She had a habit of seeking his comfort after being woken from nightmares. He didn't mind, really, Applejack did the same before she grew out of it.

Sleep had not come easy for him, his thoughts too chaotic to allow him any rest. Each attempt to clear his mind ended in one failure after another. Eventually he had given up after his head started aching. He now simply lay in his bed, staring tiredly at the ceiling, letting his thoughts come and go as they pleased.

The scarlet coated stallion turned to look at the alarm clock on his nightstand.

-5:36AM-

Great. The get together was a little over six hours away. He briefly wondered if he would fall asleep mid-conversation, it sure would make for an amusing party trick. Picnic trick, whatever. Rose might not be amused, though. She seemed to be quite skittish around him. “I wonder why?” he whispered to himself. He groaned, mentally berating himself. He was supposed to be getting sleep, not thinking about not getting sleep.

The farmpony tapped his chin thoughtfully. “Maybe ah'm nervous about that picnic? Sure might explain why ah ain't getting' any shut-eye,”  he mumbled beneath his breath.

He blinked at the realization and felt his mind slowly calm down. “The future is an illusion. The only reality is now,” he mused thoughtfully.

He smiled, closed his eyes and finally joined Apple Bloom in realm of the sleeping.