Is This Supposed to be a Punishment?

     In all honesty, the party was quite enjoyable -- though Brenda put a very quick stop to a game I had introduced to some of the mares by punching me in the head a couple of times.

     "How dare you try to play 'Spin the Bottle' with them!  What the fuck is wrong with you?" my wife screeched.  Many of the ponies who witnessed this attack stood in shock and stunned silence.  Twilight trotted up to me, an expression of worry on her face.  Pinkie scowled at Brenda.  Some of the other ponies came to my defense at this point.

     "Michael, are you okay?  Brenda, why did you hit him like that?  Do you know what punishment mares receive for attacking stallions?" asked the librarian.

     "Yeah!  Why do you have to be such a meaniepants?  This party is supposed to be fun, and Mikey was only trying to give us another fun game to play!" the pink pony said, a bit of anger in her voice.

     "Mike is my husband and he is NOT supposed to be trying to kiss you ponies!  I swear there's something wrong with him!  Is there a shrink in this town?  He needs help!" Brenda nearly shouted.  I was left holding my head where she had hit me, the pain still rather sharp.

     "Um, Twi, a little help here, please?" I asked meekly.  "It still hurts a bit..."

     The lavender unicorn cast a little healing magic on me, alleviating most of the pain.  "Thanks, I needed that."

     "Princess Celestia will be hearing about this," Twilight said flatly.  "You're in trouble now, Brenda."

     "Don't take his side!  He disrespected me!  You're going to threaten ME?!"

     "There was no need for violence, Brenda -- simply admonishing him would have proven sufficient -- but you physically attacked him?  He was merely trying to introduce us to a new game," the librarian chided.

     "You shouldn't be so jealous!  He's married to you, so you shouldn't worry about him leaving you!" Pinkie chimed in.

     "Acting like a ruffian does not help matters, Brenda," Rarity added.

     "Stop defending him!  He's the one who's wrong here!" Brenda protested stridently.  Another voice was heard, this one sounding more matriarchal.

     "Be that as it may, Brenda, there was no need to resort to the use of violence.  I am certain your husband intended no disrespect to you -- such a game is perhaps a little suggestive, though of greater amusement than harm.  Your actions cause me to question your suitability to my realm, and if there were a way for me to return you to your home world, I would take it upon myself to do so.  You will have to remain separated from your husband until your behavior changes," the Solar Princess stated flatly.

      "Michael, I would request you refrain from teaching my little ponies such games, as they may not be entirely accustomed to the cultural norms of your species.  I would rather you have consulted with me first before teaching them such a game."

   "Yes, your Majesty.  I'm sorry," I stated reverently and bowed to her.

     "Perhaps I should keep both of you in my castle so that I may keep a closer eye on you two.  I know you mean no harm, Michael, but I fear you may prove to be a bad influence on my little ponies, and I cannot allow for that.  You two will be provided room and board in my castle, and activities to occupy your time.  You will be required to remain there until such time as I can determine a way to return you to your home world."

     "Princess, there is much I wish to learn from him!  May I visit them on occasion?" asked Twilight.

     "You may, on the provision that I supervise those visits.  I do not wish to have to intervene, but there are certain aspects of humanity I still do not trust.  You have witnessed firsthoof those tendencies towards violence and puerile behavior."  The Solar Princess then enveloped Brenda and me in her golden aura and teleported us to her castle, specifically the Great Hall.  She summoned a pair of royal guardsponies to escort us to separate chambers which were adjoined by a door.

     "You two will have separate rooms and a royal guardspony as a chaperon to ensure no further animosity occurs.  I encourage the two of you to enjoy yourselves as much as you wish," she stated and smiled warmly at us.  Brenda glared at me and raised her fist again.

     "This is another fine mess you've gotten us into, Mike!  I swear, if it's the last thing I do --"

     "Brenda, please curb your tongue.  I will brook no further violence from you, lest you desire to spend some time in my dungeon," the Alicorn admonished sternly.  "Michael, is there something else you wish to say?" she asked as she noticed me strike a pensive mood.

     "I was just thinking, your Majesty..." I began.  Brenda stole a glance at me and frowned.

     "I don't like it when you think -- bad things happen," my wife said flatly.  The Alicorn smiled a little bit in amusement.

     "What are you thinking about, if I may be so bold as to inquire?"

     "I was entertaining the possibility of becoming a pony, though I am having second thoughts about that," I replied.  Brenda growled at me in anger.

     "You are a human!  You're not supposed to want to be a pony!  Don't make me hit you again!" she bellowed.  Princess Celestia hit her with a freeze spell.

     "Michael, how long have you had to endure such suffering from her?"

     "Twenty years, your Majesty," I replied flatly.

     "I have ways of dealing with this sort of thing," she said softly, smiling at me.  She used another spell on Brenda, turning her into a zebra mare and releasing her from her freeze spell.  I had to stifle a chuckle, as did the Alicorn.  Brenda found herself looking up at me, her new perspective causing her to panic.  She galloped around frantically.

     "What did you do to me?  What happened?  Why am I so short?"

     "You're a zebra now, Brenda," I observed, trying very hard not to titter into giggles.

     "You will remain in that form until I decide to change you back," Celestia said sternly.  "You will learn to respect stallions."

     Suddenly I found myself wrapped in a golden aura and my perspective changed quite a bit -- I was still looking down at Brenda, but from just a short distance down.  I no longer towered over her as I found myself transformed into a unicorn stallion.  My skin had turned into a medium purple coat of fur.  I craned my neck around to see my tail had turned a two-tone orange and gold.  Brenda stared at me in disbelief.

     "Twilight's not going to believe this," I muttered aloud.  Celestia chuckled at my statement.

     "Personally, I think she might be pleased," the Alicorn mused softly.

     "It's been a few months since I was last in a pony's body -- this may take a little effort for me to get my legs back, as it were," I observed.

     "What do you mean by that?" asked a somewhat surprised Celestia.  "I remember you saying something about wanting to visit ... again?  I've never seen you before."

     I told her about the previous visit to another universe and how I was in a copy of Twilight's body.  She expressed amazement and disbelief upon hearing my story.

     "If you don't think it's true, why not read my mind?" I asked.  I tested my trotting ability and found myself almost instinctively doing so with relatively little effort.  Brenda was doing the same thing, practicing her movements in order to acclimate herself to her new body.  She started cantering, then galloping around swiftly, her mane and tail flowing elegantly.  I smiled as I heard her start laughing.

     "Princess, this is amazing!  This is wonderful!  Thank you so much!" Brenda said almost gleefully.

     "It looks like you're enjoying that a little too much, Brenda," the Alicorn chuckled.  "If you'd like, you're welcome to remain in that form for as long as you wish."

     "I've never been able to move so fast!" she exclaimed excitedly.  "Hey, what about that party?  Can we go back?"

     "I shall supervise, to ensure no further hostilities ensue.  Michael, will you be joining us?"

   "Yes, I shall, Princess.  I think the others might find my new appearance ... interesting," I mused.  Without further ado, we were whisked away back to Sugarcube Corner, where the party was still going on.  The Solar Princess introduced us as everypony gasped in amazement at our new appearance.

     "That means ... another party!" exclaimed Pinkie Pie.  "Two parties on the same day!  This is going to be so much fun!  Hey, Mikey, ya wanna play a new game we found?"

     "As long as it's not 'Spin the Bottle,' I'm cool with whatever it is," I replied.  The pink party pony gave me a rather crestfallen look as Twilight sidled up to me.

     "I like the new you, Michael," she grinned.  "I'll teach you some magic, since you're a new unicorn," she offered softly.

     "I'm still married to him!  Get away from him!" Brenda exclaimed angrily as she trotted over to us.  I lit my horn and erected a barrier between us.

     "I hate to disappoint you, Twilight, but I already know how to use magic -- I was in a copy of your body last time I visited Ponyville," I chuckled.  This drew a gasp from the librarian who hit me with a barrage of questions, which I tried to answer as best I could.  I gave her the full rundown, but while I was telling my story, everypony had gathered around to listen.  Even Celestia seemed enraptured by the story, though Brenda found it difficult to believe, even though I had told her this same story several times before.

     "I can't believe you defeated Nightmare Moon by yourself!" Twilight exclaimed excitedly.

     "I can't believe you freed me from the Sun," Celestia stated in astonishment.

     "I can't believe I would have almost died like that," Pinkie said rather sullenly.  "Can we go to that universe?  I wanna help them."

     "I have no idea of how to get there, Pinkie," I replied.  "Alternate universes can be such tricky things to deal with, and you almost never know what might happen if you jump into them willy-nilly."

     The party returned to its festive mood once again after my explanations of previous events.  Twilight asked me more questions, though Brenda stayed very close to me to ensure nothing else happened between us.  Fluttershy came up and started talking to Brenda, drawing her away from us.

     "Your wife can be so mean," Twilight said, just above a whisper.  "Why does she have to be like that?"

     "She's been like that pretty much ever since we got married," I replied sullenly.  "I think she likes being a zebra, though."

     "She appears to be a bit happier, though I still don't understand why she's so jealous."

     "I've been with her longer than any other man has -- and I think she might be scared of losing me to one of you, or perhaps you specifically, Twilight.  She noticed I had a fascination with you, and since I'm a pony now, that has put her in a very difficult position.  I see the way she's staring at me, as though she's deeply afraid I might divorce her and take you for my new wife."

     Twilight blushed at my comment.  "Um, I'm honored you'd consider me as a wife, Michael!  But you're still married -- you're not actually going to divorce her, are you?"

    "I'd like to, but there are consequences for doing that -- and I'm not prepared to deal with those just yet.  So no, I'm not going to divorce her."

     She scowled at me and trotted back over.  "What are you two discussing?  Future marriage ideas?"

     "No, Brenda -- you shouldn't worry about that.  Only the Princess can divorce us, and I'm not going to ask her for that," I replied flatly.  "Honestly, you worry too much."

     Her stomach growled at this point, causing her to blush.  "How am I supposed to eat without my hands?" she asked.

     "Use your hooves, like this," Pinkie Pie offered as she shoved a cupcake into my wife's mouth.  She started coughing, spitting up pieces of the cupcake onto the floor.

     "I can't eat a whole cupcake like that at once," she complained.  "Pretty tasty, though."

     "Hey, Pinkie, can I have one of those?" I asked.

     "Sure, Mikey!  Here ya go!" she chirped as she shoved a cupcake into my mouth.  I almost gagged on it as I coughed it up.

     "Pinkie, what makes you think we can swallow a whole cupcake?  Just because you can doesn't mean we can too, you know," I said flatly.

     "You can be such a silly billy!" she giggled and hoofed me another cupcake, which I took in my magic aura and nibbled lightly from it.

     "These are quite good, Pinkie -- what kind are they?"

     "I call them, 'Rainbow Cupcakes!'" she giggled.  I spat it out immediately.  "Just kidding, Mikey!  It's just strawberry!  Don't look at me like that!  I was just kidding!"

     "Don't prank me like that any more, Pinkie," I admonished sharply, glaring menacingly at her.

     "What do you mean by 'Rainbow Cupcakes?'" Brenda asked.

     "You wouldn't get the reference, Brenda.  Just leave it alone, they're strawberry cupcakes ... I think," I muttered.