Luna Scores an Bacon

by WhatTheFap

Rating: mature
Tags: Dark, Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Other, Romance, Random, Slice of Life, Crossover
Length: 1705

I wasn't retired I was just working on this fic really hard. It's about Bacon being kicked out of his AA meeting and then running into Luna on the street, who happens to like bacon very much.

Bacon went to an AA meeting cause he thought he was addicted to vodka, but he gets kicked out. He runs into Luna on the street and she takes him back to her place and they get kinky.
I wasn't actually retired I was just crafting this wonderful story. It is my pride and joy and I hope you enjoy it.

Published 2013-09-08 20:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-09-08 20:30:01 UTC

Bacon

Luna Scores an Bacon
By: WhatTheFap

"Hello everypony. My name is Bacon Hardware, and I am an alcoholic." The well-known tennis star began. "About 4 years ago, after a tennis game, I decided to walk down to the store to get something to eat. As I passed by an alleyway, a young colt who was dressed like a pirate gave me some unclear white liquid he called vodka. I accepted, consuming my first taste of alcohol. After that, I would do anything I could to get my hands on some vodka. I would get the vodka from my own dick, girls' pussies, and occasionally other dudes dicks. I was truly addicted to vodka. It was a nightmare; I would wake up at night, go into the bathroom, and look at all the hardened vodka all over my fBacon. Sometimes, dudes would break into my house and shove their cocks into my mouth, and I would just let it happen because in the end, I would get vodka. So I have come here today to ask for the help and support of you fellow alcoholics, and get me clean and drug-free."
Silence. Not a peep was heard from anypony. They exchanged glances with their mouths agape. Doctor Whooves stood up.
"Uhh... What do you mean by...? Vodka?" the Doctor said.

"I'm talking about the white liquid stuff that comes out of a pony's dick!" Bacon yelled. "What the hell else would I be talking about?"

Everypony in the room burst into uncontrollable laughter. A bead of unwanted sweat made its way down Bacon's temple.

"OH MAH GOD YOU'RE SO RETARDED, YOU'RE ADDICTED TO CUM!" shouted Lyra.

Bacon could only blush in embarrassment.

"Let's give this 'vodka addict' a little sample, eh?"

And so, all 27 of the other stallions (yep, Lyra is a dude) in the room stood up, and gangbanged the fuck out of Bacon for hours on end. Penises were going in his eyes, ears, mouth, nostrils, armpits, penis, etc. You name it, and there was a dick plugging it up. 20 minutes later, every stallion came simultaneously, shooting gallons of cum all over Bacon.
After that whole ordeal, Bacon who was covered in "Vodka". It was in his eyes, his nose, his butt, and it dripped off of him with every step. Bacon walked down the street contemplating suicide because of how gaytarded he really is.

"Greetings! What hath happened to you?" A mysterious voice said from an alleyway.

"Wha? Who's there?" Bacon questioned, confused. "Show yourself!"

The pony, whom the mysterious voice belonged to, stepped out of the shadows. It was a mare, with a navy blue colored coat, a see-through flowing blue mane, and deep green eyes. She was larger than he was, and had enormous wings too. A unicorn horn illuminated her fBacon and body, and Bacon saw that her cutie mark was a black splotch with a crescent moon. Holy fucking niggerdick tits batman, it was Princess Motherfucking Luna. She stood tall before Bacon, staring coldly into him.

"Well? Come forth and speak of which that has happened to thou!" she commanded.

"Well... Uhm. I was.... Uh. At this meeting, right? And these guys there, they uh.... Well. They laughed at my story and raped me!! It was so embarrassing..." he explained.

"Hah! Thou's story entertains us! Please, come with us and we shall clean the male penile excrament off of thou!"

"Uh... No thanks? I'll just go home, take a shower and then kill myself."

"Nay, we insist!" Luna yelled as she grabbed Bacon and pulled him into the alleyway.

"Hey! What's the big idea, bro?" Bacon said, a little annoyed.

"THIS!"

Luna's horn lit up in frenzy, and surrounded her and Bacon in a luminous bubble of magic. He felt a little queasy as he felt him disappear into nothingness, along with Luna.

Bacon and Luna reappeared in a messy apartment, trashed with dirty laundry. There was a half-eaten pizza on top of a coffee table in the center of the room, in front of a worm-eaten, worn out futon. The carpets of the apartment were stained with coffee and cum, and gave off a dank smell that reeked throughout the whole plBacon.
"Wait here. When we return, we shall bear the tools necessary to clean all of the penile excrement off of thou." Luna
said.

She disappeared into the bathroom, which appeared to be even dirtier than the rest of the apartment. Luna came back a few minutes later with a bottle of Extra Strength Dial (with vitamins C, U, and M, for extra cleaning and skin care), and a towel.
She sat down next to Bacon.

"So mortal. What sort of meeting did thou attend to become covered in such a substance as this?" She bellowed.

"It was an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. We meet up and talk about our addiction to booze." Bacon answered.

"Ah, we understand. what hath thou;s addiction be?"

"I'm addicted to vodka. Y'know, the white stuff that comes out of dicks?"

"Dost thou speaketh of cum?"

"That's what Lyra called it! It's vodka! The pirate boy gave it to me on Nightmare Night 2011!" Luna's eyes lit up.

"Pipsqueak! Of course! I should have known!" She kinda laughed.

"What are you talking about?"

"That young colt, Pipsqueak. He lied to thou. The stuff he gave to thou was actually semen. Thou art not addicted to vodka. Thou art just really, really gay!"

"Wait, so that stuff I thought was vodka... is actually semen? And I've... been gay?"

"Yes indeed."

Bacon lowered his head in disappointment and covered his fBacon with his hooves.

"I' m such a god-damn idiot..."

"Nay... Thou art the smartest stallion we have ever met since our return to Ponyville. Thou were deceived. Nothing more."

Luna got up off the couch and turned around so that her ass was facing Bacon. Bacon looked over and stared directly into her brown eye.

"What are you doing?" he asked, confused.

"Make love to us, Bacon. We insist!"

"Sex?? In here?? Well... I guess I've had a pretty long dry spell... Aw what the hell. Why not. Sure Luna, I'll fuck you..."

"We are ever so grateful. Now please, allow us to arouse thou and make thou's cock erect."

Luna started to dance in front of Bacon. She had 1000 years of practice when she was imprisoned in the moon, so she really had the moves like Jagger. Bacon's little wang began to harden. She continued to shake her groove thang. Before long, Bacon was wielding a stone wiener.

"Hey Luna." he said.

She turned around. "Yeah?" She said in a normal voice.

"It ain't gonna suck itself." Bacon said, smiling and pointing down to his dick with his head. Luna smiled and walked toward Bacon, her eyes focused on his throbbing erection. When she was in range, she looked up into Bacon's eyes, and then went down on him. Bacon's wiener flourished in her mouth, as she gladly licked up and down his furry shaft. Luna looked up at Bacon's fBacon and saw him tilted his head back with a goofy smile. She bit his dick a little bit and he snapped back to reality. Bacon punched Luna in the tits for that, but she just kind of took it because she's like that.

After about 13 minutes of sucking, Luna decided it was time for some vaginal penetration. She stood up, turned around, and stuck her flank towards Bacon.

"Hop on, big boy." Luna said calmly, with a wink. (Her voice changes to a normal one whenever she's horny).

"EHEHEEHEEEHEEHEHEHEE. OKAY!" Bacon said. (Just for you, CottonCow ;D)

Bacon stood up and made his penis take position. He lined it up with Luna's silky, blue vagina. With a forward push from his waist, Bacon's penis slid right into Luna. It reached into her cunt like a long finger, and tickled her ovaries. Luna giggled at the pleasure and silliness of what was going on. Now that Bacon had a feel for her cunt, he began to thrust faster, pounding away mercilessly. Every now and then, just for fun, he would take things really slow, as if trying to have Luna's pussy suck out every last drop of his penis. Bacon went like this for an hour, and along the way, he and Luna tried out every sex position on his '69 sex positions' app for iPhone.

After the 69th one, Bacon felt like his download was preparing to start (he was about to cum). As he fucked Luna, his download bar began to fill. When it got to about 69%, he pulled out of Luna and spun her around. She took the hint and started to jerk him off and open her mouth.

"Oh baby..." Bacon said, between stifled moans. "Give it to me... Give it to me please!"

"As you desire, Bacon hardware." Luna bellowed.

With an upward thrust, Luna snapped Bacon's dick in half. It made a loud 'CRACK!' as it broke, and then hung downward at the middle of his dick; with the other half still erect.

"MY RACKET!!" Bacon screamed in agony. As his penis hung downward at the middle, Bacon began to dribble cum out of the tip of his broken penis. He watched this happen and began to cry, also curling up into a ball on the floor.

"Would you like us to fetch some ice for your injured appendage?" Luna asked.

"NO! NO NO NO NO NO! JUST GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE AND LEAVE ME BE." Bacon yelled

"But, this is our apartment."

"You broke my dick! Just leave me here for a few days so I can cry a lot and then kill myself, k? I'll call you when I'm dead, okay?"

"Well, we were please to meet thou, greet thou, and break thou's meat, too! Haha! Farewell Bacon Hardware of Ponyville. We will miss thou!"

Luna said her goodbye as she exited the apartment, leaving Bacon in a fetal position in a puddle of his own cum. Bacon cried for about three hours, went into the kitchen and cut his balls off, and then shoved Luna's used tampons down his throat until he died.

THE END.