Barn This Way
By: Johnjohns
"So needless to say, sis, none of our attempts at Vulcanarisin-"
"Vulcanization."
"Vulcanization, whatever!" Applebloom spat, throwing an aggravated hoof into the humid summer air.
The young fily trotted excitedly beside her older sister as the two traversed one of Sweet Apple Acres’ many dirt lanes.
With each step, their hooves kicked up little clouds of dust which congregated together to form an opaque screen of minuscule particles in their wake.
Above, a flock a blue songbirds dove hastily into the thick safety of one of the many fruit-bearing trees, and soon all began chirping away their sweet morning harmonics for the sun-washed earth to enjoy.
Out of that particularly musical tree, a single apple fell. As her younger sibling continued with her tale of discovery, Applejack stooped down to pick up the red fruit within the crook of her hoof.
"Anyway," Applebloom continued. "None of our early attempts turned out very successful." She paused, rubbing we chin in thought. "Wait, never mind. None of our attempts were successful, but-."
"Aww, shucks," Applejack said, wincing as she discovered that the apple was almost entirely rotted out from the inside. Through a single, worm-sized hole in the skin, dripped foul-smelling, stagnant apple juices. "Looks like we might have a pest problem, little sis."
"Were you even listening to what I said?"
"Hmm... what? Of course I was, Applebloom." Applejack grinned awkwardly.
With a grunt, the red-maned filly snatched the ruined fruit from her sister. After examining the item in question for a few moments, she dropped the apple to the ground and crushed it with one hoof.
Applejack raised an eyebrow at her sister's sudden action.
"Yellow-ringed caterpillar," Applebloom stated, noticing the deceased corpse of the tiny criminal, long since drowned in the heart of the fruit. "They don't typically swarm, so there probly ain't much to worry about."
Applejack stared for a moment at her younger sibling before a wide smile spread across her muzzle. "I've taught ya'll well, Applebloom. You never seem to stop makin me proud."
"Yeah, well... it's in the blood." The filly's ears drooped with humility as she and her sister resumed their walk. "Anyways, so back to what I was sayin; Scootalo came up with the great idea to take that egg-shaped tire she made, hang it from our treehouse, and make a swing."
As the two rounded a thick cluster of apple trees, Applebloom blurted out, "Oooh! I know! You could come over and help us set it up! Cuz quite honestly, I don't trust Sweetie or Scootaloo when it comes to knots, and if ya'll could-"
"WHAT IN TARNATION!"
Before her very eyes, in the place where countless parties had been held. In the place where all her farm tools were stored. In the place that had the leaky corner of the roof, and the oil-deprived door. In the place where she and her little sister used to play in the hayloft... was nothing.
There were no tools.
There was no leaky roof, or squeaky door.
There was no hay.
There were no parties.
There was no barn.
There was nothing.
Applejack's right eyelid twitched as she stood, her legs locked and her hooves frozen to the ground.
Where the wooden structure once stood at the top of the hill, was now just barren dirt. There wasn't even evidence of a structural footprint. It was as if the barn and all of its contents had never existed.
Springing into a frenzied gallop, the farm pony rushed up the hill to where the the storage building once was.
When she reached the top, Applejack paused, turning about in panicked circles, as she gazed out in all directions. Everything else in the orchard was as it should have been.
"What... the bu-" she caught herself, shoving a hoof into her mouth as she prevented the obscenity from reaching her sister's eardrums. "Umm... Applebloom?" She asked aloud, turning to face her sister. "Ya'll wouldn't happen to have anythin to do with this, wou-"
She cut herself short as she realized that the filly was no longer present.
She blinked. "Must've ran back to the farmhouse, to call for help," she thought aloud, smiling to herself. "That's my little sister."
With a start, the farm pony turned around and bumped her head right into Rainbow Dash, knocking the pegasus onto her haunches, and throwing herself off-balance as well."
"Gahh!" Applejack yelped with a startled wince. "Rainbow Dash?"
"Oww," the prismatic pegasus replied, rubbing her assaulted cheek. "Watch where you're shoving your face, girl! I don't know about you, but I'm not too hot on the whole missing teeth thing."
"Rainbow Dash," Applejack chuckled awkwardly. "I don't mean to complain, but what are you doing here?"
"What do you think? I'm looking for your barn!"
A pause.
"You... you are?"
"Yeah!" the pegasus exclaimed. "I was flying overhead, practicing for the flight competition this fall, when I looked down and noticed that something was up with your farm. It wasn't until I landed, and you started freaking out, that I realized that your barn was gone."
The blonde pony's jaw fell open in disbelief as she stared confusedly at her winged friend.
The pegasus glanced over Applejack's shoulder. "So..."
"So, what?"
"What happened to your barn?"
"Gosh darnit, Rainbow." Applejack sighed. "If I knew that, why would I be up here, acting like a chicken with its head cut off?"
"I don't know!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed, ascending into a low hover as she glanced around. "So what, your barn just like... disappeared, huh?"
"That seems to be just about the sum of it."
"And you have no idea what happened to it?"
"Ah'm not gonna repeat myself."
"So... like... do barns just randomly disappear now?" the pegasus inquired aloud. "Because if that's a thing, what's to stop just any anything from disappearing, too?"
At that precise moment, Twilight Sparkle stumbled through a wall of lush bushes, at the bottom of the hill.
"So, as my suspicions are likely correct, I believe it may be safe to rule out option A," the violet unicorn dictated to a disheveled Fluttershy and Rarity, as they too persevered through the rough brambles.
Applejack raised one eyebrow at the newcomers as they scaled the crest of the hill in a leisurely manner.
"Ah, Applejack, there you are!" Rarity exclaimed as she flicked a lone leaf from her luscious mane. "We were just talking about your barn."
"Umm... okay."
"You sound disappointed."
"Ah'm not disappointed," Applejack replied, rubbing her scalp. "Ah'm just confused as to what all ya'll are doin."
"We are searching for your barn," Fluttershy meekly stated.
"Ah can see that," Applejack said, rolling her eyes. "Why are you searchin for my barn?"
"Because it's missing."
"Ah know it's missin! Why does it concern ya'll?
There was a moment of silence as the trio exchanged glances.
"Because you are our friend, and we want to help you," Twilight replied with a warm smile. "After all, complete structural disappearances are not a common occurrence, so naturally I took the challenge upon myself to solve this mystery."
"We're here to help, darling." Rarity said, translating Twilight's words.
"Uhh... thank you?"
"Luckily for you, I believe that I am on the verge of a breakthrough," Twilight said, consulting a thick tome which Applejack was certain she had not possessed up until that very moment. "All we have to do is remember the one fundamental law of nature."
There was another awkward pause, during which only equally awkward stares were shared with one another.
"And that would be?" Applejack questioned hesitantly.
"The fundamental law of conservation of mass, silly!" Twilight squeed, jumping with delight. "Barns don't just simply disappear into oblivion! Something must have happened to it!"
"You don't say."
"Which leaves us with two viable options," Twilight continued. "Option A, would be that the entire structure, and all of its contents were suddenly transformed into lightweight gasses, or..."
"Or what?" asked Rainbow Dash.
"I'm glad you asked!" Twilight beamed, taking a deep breath. "And I have just the perfect explanation for you!"
"Ah swear, if you start singin-"
"Or, our second option would be that somepony, or something moved it."
Another pause.
"Moved it?"
"Yes."
"What... like with magic and stuff?" Applejack asked.
"Well..." Twilight pondered. "Were you awoken in the night by the obvious sounds of a barn being manually deconstructed and moved?"
"No."
"Then teleportation is our most likely culprit, seeing as though not even I can transform something that large into another form of matter," Twilight said, closing her textbook and wishing it away with a poof of purple smoke.
"Then that leaves us with just one final question," Applejack said, gazing off into the distant expanses if the orchard.
"Which is?" Rarity asked.
Applejack kicked a hoof at the dusty ground. "Where did it go, and who took it?"
Twilight opened her mouth to speak, but found herself lost in thought.
"Well..." Rainbow Dash began. "It isn't in the town. That's for sure."
"What makes ya’ll say that?" Applejack asked out of curiosity.
"Because I flew over the town, on my way here, and I didn't see it."
"Rainbow..." Applejack sighed. "When you landed, you said that you didn't even realize what was missin until you saw me goin bananas."
"Yeah, so?"
"What makes ya'll so certain that ya'll would have noticed my barn, in the town?
"Duh," Rainbow Dash duh'd. "Because barns don't belong in towns!"
Applejack face-hoofed, and turned to face her admittedly smarter friend. "Twilight, what about you? Do ya’ll have any of those nifty theorems or anythin like that?"
"At the moment, no," the scientist replied, scratching her chin in thought. "However, I have several hypothesis that may at some point lead to a theory."
"Great," the farm pony sighed. "It’s a darn shame that Pinkie Pie ain't around. Who knows, she might have one of those creepy senses for this sorta thang."
With a shockwave comparable to that of low-megaton warhead, Pinkie Pie's head exploded straight out of the ground as the volatile pony gasped for air.
The intense blast pelted four of the mares with dust and stone fragments, while Twilight selfishly protected herself with a bubble of telekinesis.
When the dirty brown haze finally cleared, the fissure that Pinkie Pie had violently erupted out of had disappeared, and there was the obnoxiously childish pony, her hooves rapidly kicking off the dirt, acting like a filly pretending as though the ground was hot-lava.
"Hooves... ticklish!" she squeaked.
"Pinkie Pie?" gawked the congregation of ponies in unison.
"Fur... Twitching!" continued the pink pony, ignoring the others. "Ears... Too sensitive! Eyes... Fluctuating!"
Sure enough, the exuberant mare's irises were rapidly cycling through the entire color spectrum.
After watching her friend's eyes switch between fifteen hues of yellow in half of a second, Applejack broke out of her stupor.
"Pinkie Pie... are you feelin alright?"
"All of these senses in such a strange combination," Pinkie continued. "Can only mean one thing. Applejack's barn... in Everfree Forest!" With that, Pinkie Pie's eyes settled down, and she stopped vibrating herself off of the ground. "I'm great!" she squeaked.
"Uhh... huh?"
"Come on, everypony!" exclaimed Pinkie Pie, starting off down the hill. "What are you all standing around for? Let's go get AJ's barn!"
"Hey, wait!" Applejack hollered, galloping after her friend. "Ya’ll know where my barn is?"
"Yuppers!"
"But... but how?"
"I think by now we should know not to question her Pinkie-Sense," Twilight suggested as she and the others caught up. "While earth-pony magic is still an unproven anomaly, I think that past events are enough proof to warrant us trusting her judgment."
"Don't worry, Applejack," Pinkie added enthusiastically. "You can count on me to find your stuff!"
"It's not that I doubt your abilities or anythin, it's just that-"
"Just what, Darling?" inquired Rarity.
"It's just that... Ah dunno." Applejack struggled to find words. "With ya'll just jumpin to, and deciding to help and all-"
"It's the least we could do for such a good friend," Fluttershy said.
"I know, I know, and thank you. It's just that this mornin has just been so... weird, and I’m not ungrateful for the help and everythin, but I just get the feeling that somethin is way off."
"Don't fret about it one bit, Applejack," Rarity said, nuzzling the farm pony. "Everything will turn out alright. It always does."
"Yeah... I suppose ya'll are right." Applejack blushed. "Thanks, everypony."
In the near distance, the ever-watchful Everfree loomed, enticing the ponies to approach, and approach they did, for somewhere, hidden among the shadows of the oak, was the answer to all of their questions.
"Ugghh!" Applejack winced as a thin branch swiped clear across her cheek.
The five had been trotting miserably through the dark forest for nearly thirty minutes, struggling desperately to keep up with their pink friend who seemed to glow like a flamingo in the sun.
"Through the forest have I gone, but Applejack's barn found I none-"
"Hey, Pinkie!" Applejack hollered. "Could you slow down a bit?"
"Night and silence!" exclaimed Pinkie as she stumbled over something. "What is here?" She cocked her head to the side and giggled. "Oh wait, it's just a tree root. Hehe!"
"I must say, I do enjoy her newly adopted speaking habits," Rarity said with modest approval. "Such sounds are quite pleasing to the ear, especially during such unapealing walking conditions." She unhooked a thorny creeper from her now tattered white coat. "How about you, Twilight? Would you care to share any remarks on our current situation?"
"Well, the logical part of me is doubtful when it comes to our chances of finding what we all are looking for, by blindly following the hunch of a single mare," Twilight analyzed. "However, her instincts have not lead us astray in the past, so I will remain steadfast in my faith." She glanced up ahead to Applejack, who was trying the hardest to keep up with Pinkie Pie. "What about you, Applejack? What do you think?"
"Uhh... sure... yeah... definitely," Applejack said, caring less. "Pinkie, how much furth-"
She paused, stopping dead in her tracks. In the very corner of her peripheral vision, a faint flicker of gold manifested itself, and then was gone.
Whipping her head around as her friends passed her by, she squinted out into the darkness of the forest, attempting to relocate the source of the flash.
"Hey, girls?" Applejack said softly. "I think I saw something."
She received no reply.
Glancing back down their original route, she noticed that her friends were quite a distance away now, being almost entirely obscured by the cross-crossing branches of trees.
"Girls!" She shouted desperately.
They did not heed her call, and soon vanished from view entirely. Then she was alone.
"Hmmf. Mares." She muttered frustratedly under her breath as she stepped off the forest path, and began carving her own through the underbrush.
Dead leaves splashed up from the sea of decaying matter as Applejack's hooves parted the darkness. The canopy above rustled, and the old trees groaned as various unseen creatures traversed its expanse.
It wasn't long until Applejack gained sight of the light once more, and when she did acquire it, she hurried in pursuit, fearing the consequences of losing it a second time.
She tripped over tree roots, and passed head-first through several spiderwebs, but the light continued to grow brighter as she approached.
Alas, she was able to see that the light was filtering through a wall of underbrush, just a few paces ahead.
With one, powerful lunge, she dove through the foliage, and was immersed in blinding radiance.
The light forced her to blink several times as her eyes rapidly attempted to adjust to the brightness.
When her vision finally did clear, she found herself in a massive, grass-covered clearing. Wildflowers were growing everywhere, soaking in the wondrous sunlight that the forest had decided not to hog, and songbirds chirped happily among the short blades of grass, seemingly unaware of the pony's presence.
Applejack however, paid no heed to her surroundings. All she saw was her barn at the far edge of the clearing, and the small filly walking up to its facade.
With a familiar, oil-deprived squeak that echoed across the field, the young pony opened the barn door, and stepped inside.
Not wasting any time, Applejack galloped quickly across the clearing, frightening off the songbirds, and flattening many flowers.
When she reached the barn's entrance, Applejack peeked around the corner of the slightly-askew door.
Everything was as it should have been. The tools remained hanging from the walls, and there was still hay in the loft. A long rope hung from a rafter, and several barrels lingered in the corners. There were large wooden crates, with burlap sacks of feed slouched on top.
Then there was Applejack's little sister, in the middle of the room, staring up at the broken loft window.
"Applebloom!" Applejack exclaimed joyously.
The filly seemed to flinch upon hearing Applejack's voice. Slowly, she turned around.
"Oh... hey, sis."
"I knew it!" Applejack continued. "I just knew you would be the one to find the barn. After you ran off, back at the farm, I just knew you had the right idea."
"I... I did?" Applebloom asked with a confused expression as she turned to look over her shoulder at the window again. "Oh... the barn... right."
"Ah am so proud of you, Applebloom, you have no ide-" Applejack stopped, noticing the filly's disturbed expression. She frowned. "What's wrong, Applebloom? You look spooked."
"Heh... imagine that."
"What's wrong? What happened?"
The filly's head drooped as she let out a sigh. "It's nothin," she said walking past Applejack, and towards the door. "I'm fine."
"Really? You don't look fine." Applejack remarked, following her sister out.
"I'm alright. Trust me. It's... it’s just just nice to see you."
"Well... it's nice to see you too, Applebloom," Applejack said, as the two stepped back out onto the farm. "I suppose it's true that we don't get to spend as much time with each other, anymore."
Around them, Sweet Apple Acres beamed gloriously in the afternoon sun. There wasn't a cloud in the sky as the two made their way down the hill, away from the barn.
When they reached the bottom of the hill, the two were greeted by four enthusiastic mares.
"Applejack!" Rainbow Dash called out to her. Standing beside the pegasus was Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, and Twilight. "Rarity's cat escaped, and we're on our way to go help her look for it. Wanna tag along?"
"Ah, shucks!" Applejack kicked a hoof into the dust. "Is that even a question? After all you girls have done for me, how could I say no?"
"Awesome! Follow us!"
"Hey, sis?" Applebloom asked, tugging on her older sister's leg.
"Hey, wait up one second, girls!" Applejack called after them, before turning to her sister. "What is it, Applebloom?"
"I was just wondering if... if... if you..." The filly's eyes grew moist as she struggled for words. "It's just that you are always goin off on these adventures and all... and... and I was just wondering if you would stay with us for a change. I'm sure Granny and Big Mac would love to see you." She sighed, prodding the ground with one hoof. "It's been a very long time since you spoke with them.” She looked up at her sister, her eyes longing. “Maybe just this one time?"
Applejack smiled weakly down at her. "I would love to, little sis," she said as honest as they come. "But my friends did so much for me, helpin to find the barn and all... I've gotta return the favor. What kind of pony would I be if I didn't help the ones I care about?"
"Oh... okay," Applebloom said, turning away. "Good luck. I... I hope that you find what you've been looking for."
"I will, little sis. See you soon."
"See you soon."
"Hey, Applejack, are you coming or what?" Rainbow Dash called from across the way.
"Yeah, coming!" The farm pony called, looking one last time at her sister, before galloping off.
Just as she reached her friends, Applejack remembered her sister's question from before, about making a tire swing.
"Oh, and Applebloom!" Applejack called, turning around. "I'll help you hang that sw-"
She stopped herself. The filly was gone.
"Did... did, any of you see where she went?" Applejack asked.
"Hmm? No. She must have gone back to the farmhouse." Rainbow Dash said.
"Must've," Applejack muttered.
"You ready to go?"
Applejack gave the farm one last glance. "Yeah. Let's go."
As the five ponies headed down the road, a lone apple fell from a tree.
