The Chaotic Contest of Calamity

by Willow the Pegasus

Rating: teen
Tags: Discord, Human, Twilight Sparkle, Main 6, Gore, Original Character, Trixie, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Comedy, Romance
Length: 3031

Even a chaotic god can be bored. One such god looks upon Earth, and decides to create a contest. The prize: power unlike any of the contestants had ever known. Or so he told them, anyways. Felix "Felicia" Sky is one such contestant.

Update: Expectedly cancelled.

Warning: Subjects are dangerous, avoid engaging at all costs. Take them out from a distance, and do not listen to their lies. They can and will break you, if they get that chance.

Felix Sky aka "Felicia Sky"
Sex: Male?
Age: 17
Antisocial Personality Disorder, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Gender Identity Disorder, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder.
“A brilliant mind. One you wouldn’t want to screw with— I know I wouldn’t! Of course, I am her, so that would make it quite difficult— well, easy I suppose. But why would I want to hinder myself? I have a contest to win! And if they think they can out crazy me... well, then...
"They might just be as crazy as they think.”

Romance tag for romance between ponies, and for the eventual love for the human from a pony or two.

Published 2013-09-09 20:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-09-09 20:30:02 UTC

A Crazy dream...

The hallways were dark and gloomy, shadows battling the light as it flickered between life and death, much like a crushed fly… only, not as messy. The once pale white walls were blackened and broken, torn asunder by a force I had yet to locate but was clearly more powerful than I.

I brushed my hair from my eyes and poked my head through one of the larger holes in my personal wall, searching for any discernable source of the distress. When none came, I retreated into my room and sat myself on the bed beside the young boy already seated there.

Why don’t you go out there? I looked at the boy, at the angry expression on his face. His hands were curled up into little fists, and his posture was tense… He was indeed angry. If anyone tries to hurt you, you just kill ‘em! Would it be that simple? I couldn’t say, but I could agree that sitting on my bed, however comfortable and natural it felt, wouldn’t help a whole lot.

So I jumped off the bed and dropped to the floor, laying there for some time. I could hear murmuring, a whispering of voices coming from the hallway. Whatever threat there was would surely take care of that, what did I have to worry about?

I agree with Ares. Might be better if you go out there now. They gave you a way out, maybe you should take it before it gets closed up again! Something pulled on my hair, getting me up to my knees. Hands rested themselves on my shoulders, and I felt a wetness on the back of my neck. A kiss, but not one of love… comforting? Was I sad? I suppose I was, since if I had a way out that meant I would have to leave my room and if I had to leave my room I would have to go to a strange place.

“But imagine how fun that would be!” I shouted to the two, adjusting to a cross legged sitting position. Arms went around my midsection, and rested there. I noticed several things at that point, all of which I voiced to my companions. “The voices are too quiet, the walls aren’t white enough… the darkness is too bright. I’m dreaming, but not a normal dream. You two are real, but everything else is fake, which means this isn’t a dream I can control. This isn’t my dream, so… whose dream is it?”

A shadow danced in the darkness before me, a strangely shaped shadow with a long neck and long head, and two different arms. One was thin, with talons; the other was thick, furry, and pawed. Posture suggested confidence, which implied the source was powerful or believed they were powerful, or at least more so than I was. Possibly a bluff, to throw me off guard… but doubtful.

Conclusion: They are responsible for the dream. “Nice work. I almost thought I was awake.”

“Most of your kind wouldn’t have so much trouble figuring such a thing out. You are… strange.” He replied in a peculiar voice, one that felt strangely fitting to whatever characteristics he might have. I couldn’t know such a thing, so I filed that in with the dream creating powers under ‘things to ask about’.

I didn’t turn around, even if the arms around me were to permit such an action. “That would be a correct assumption to make, of course. That is why I am here, and why you broke me out. Of course, by your shadow I am to assume you have little room to talk about ‘strangeness,’ no?” You must not show that you are frightened. Fear is equal to weakness.

He chuckled, “I suppose you’re right, there. What gave the dream away? I always wish to improve, you know.” He approached, but kept some distance between us. That would imply he felt I was a threat to his well being, but in a dream...

“The odd hazy texture of everything around us coupled with the muted look of the lights, doesn’t feel real.” said the three of us to this strange creature. “What do you want with us, since I am to assume this is for more than a friendly chat?” I stood up, the arms around me impeding little, and I turned to face the beast.

Some amalgamation of various animals I recognized, much like a chimera only appearing to be far more intelligent… coupled with the bipedal stance and the questioning look in his eyes… he definitely had some human in him, somewhere. (Not to say that only humans are smart and walk upright, but… I had a feeling.) The arms of a chicken and lion, the legs of a goat and some scaled creature, the wings of a bat and bird, and a serpentine tail…

All topped off with the head of a horse, a horn and antler on that very head. “You are quite a peculiar creature. If I hadn’t already realized I was dreaming, I would have now. What are you?”

I asked him two questions, but I had no preference to which he answered first. He took a moment to think it over, or come up with an equally as convincing lie, before replying, “I am a draconequus, known as a chimera in your world’s legends.” That part was obvious. “As to why I want you… It seemed like a fun idea!” For what do you want us, though? “Before I get on with that business, however, I have to ask… Why are you here?”

A lot of reasons. World thought I was crazy, they didn’t believe when I told them what Ares and Victory told me, I stole a number of firearms from all sorts of interesting places, and I was considerably smarter than them all. I just got bored and let them catch me.

“It’s pretty complicated. They probably have a problem with me wanting to be a woman, and would rather I never got the chance to do so. Even if they did agree to give me those hormones or whatever, they haven’t started so I am to believe they never will. It’s a worrying situation, but I’ve had a plan of escape for some time. Just no reason to do so.” So what if I was clearly lying? He wouldn’t know that. Telling him the truth might convince him to leave me here.

“Also, this isn’t a dream. You’re altering my perception of reality to make me believe this is a dream, so I wouldn’t realize that you are indeed truly so disturbing. You are doing the same to the others at this very minute.”

He looked quite surprised by my total shot in the dark. “How in the hell could you have figured that out?”

Think quickly. “Well, for one thing, whenever I dream, everything I feel doesn’t feel quite right. However, when Victory wrapped her arms around me, I could clearly feel that as though I was awake. Plus, whenever I dream, I never have dreams with other people in them, nor do I ever dream about this place. While it may have been possible that you simply chose this location for us, and put those people in the background… I very much doubt it.”

He nodded, grinning at me. “You are going to be fun. Alright, I’m running out of time, so I’ll make this quick. You have two years, cause as much chaos as you can without harming any of the original residents of the world you wake up in. You have a month to make friends with a pony, and if you are one of the first three people to do so, then you will get a little bonus prize. Would you like to wake up in Ponyville, Manehattan, or Draconia?”

Draconia sounds too dangerous, and he said ‘pony’ which may imply that there is a creature like a horse but is sentient enough to be befriended. In a place such as that, dragons may exist. They would surely live there. That would be quite dangerous.

Manehattan, if it is anything like the original, would be big. Too big to navigate, and too big to recon. Plus, it’s a pun name, and I despise puns.

Ponyville sounds small. “I choose Ponyville.” I must know the name of this creature, it may very well come in handy. “Might I know your name, sir?”

I think he laughed, although the sounds were starting to taste strange, so I can’t be sure that what I saw was a laughing texture or a talking texture… “Hey, who turned out the lights?”

Colors exploded around myself, Ares and Victory, the various hues cloaking us in neon lights. Wind whipped past me, threw up my skirt, pulled at my hair. My companions each took a hand of mine and held on, my own hands tightening around their wrists.

My feet met solid ground, I rolled into something soft. Yellow filled my vision, then blackness...

Two bits Shy of a dollar.

A wetness on my forehead, a pressure on my wrist. The smell of something sweet filled my nostrils... lavender? The pressure lightened and brushed past my hand. I grabbed ahold of it, whimpering softly to whoever was present. I heard a ‘hush’ and the whispers of sweet nothings in my ear, clearly an attempt to console me.

Console me!? Where am I!? Who is this devil that has taken me captive!? “Where…” I mumbled, still not in full control of my body. I heard a gasp, and whoever was holding me pulled away. All but the hoof, that is. That remained clutched in my hand.

How does a hoof clutch a hand? My eyes opened slowly, and my question came out. “Where are my panties?”

I was face to face with a horse… type creature. A blushing, cream colored horse creature, to be exact. She smells of lavender, but not strong enough to be a perfume so maybe through contact with another person. Within close proximity of that person, maybe a lover? No, not the type. Posture suggests a certain shyness, so maybe a friend. One that may be attempting to make a move, but she wouldn’t be able to pick up on that.

Scent is strong, which means she has been with this friend recently. So either they know I am here, or she has just returned. Unless I have been out for a long time, it is the former.

Conclusion: This… mare… she found me and brought me in. While I do not feel pain, maybe I suffered an injury and she was forced to remove my panties.
“C-c-can you underst-stand m-me?” Nervous stutter confirms my suspicions somewhat. I nodded, relinquishing my hold on her hoof and taking an inventory of her looks. Her hair was a light pink color, very long, with a slight curl at the end. Her eyes… Her larger than life, sky blue eyes, wide with fear… or is it surprise? There is a strength behind them, certainly. “Are you… o-okay?” She extended her wings, letting them slowly return to their positions at her sides after a few moments. Wings... Pegasus? I slowly sat up, making sure to be as gentle as possible so as to not frighten her.

Is that genuine concern or an attempt to get my guard down? The timidity behind her words implies the former, but I can’t let my guard down. “I believe so. Where are my panties?”

She cast a glance over to my left, but quickly locked eyes with me again. “I had to take them off and wash them. They’re drying.” Her tone is much stronger now. She’s trying to gauge my reaction to determine how much of a threat I am. Clever girl… I’ll play along.
“They were… dirty?” Interesting. Most people will look towards something to confirm its existence, but if they are drying then clearly they aren’t behind me or to my left… unless they dry their clothes inside, which would be strange.
Perfect word for this situation, huh?Victory entered the room, looking around inquisitively before settling beside a bird feeder, poking it with a bit of interest. The pegasus nodded in reply to my question.

So if she isn’t drying my panties then that means something behind me caught her attention. She didn’t react with fear so that means it most likely isn’t a threat to her. If she thought I should know, however, she would have been vocal about such a thing.
Conclusion: There’s another person in the room. “Well… That should be fine, then. We’re alone, so it isn’t that big of a problem.” Her face took on a look akin to a deer in headlights and her eyes shot to just past my shoulder. “Are we alone?”

My eyes betrayed me. They shot to my side, catching a flash of lavender before I jumped away, spinning on my heel. Pain shot up my right leg, and my legs went out from under me. The floor rushed to greet me, but came up short as a purple glow surrounded my body and limbs, suspending me in mid air.

There was a clopping sound that went around the couch I had been sitting on and slowly approached me, before stopping within arm’s reach. “No, you aren’t alone. I’m sorry, I didn’t want to interrupt.” False apologies and tense tone of voice, she means none of it. Clearly she was eavesdropping, but I’ll play along.

“It’s alright… I’d advise against startling me, though. I wouldn’t want to hurt you.” Not five minutes and already I’m lying. Another way to look at it would be she managed to piss me off in less than five minutes. Gently, I was lowered to floor and placed in a sitting position, facing the particularly purple pegasus pony. I caught sight of the horn, however, and paused. Unicorn and a pegasus? Strange. “As it is now obvious that I am trapped, you may as well do whatever it is you wish.”

The pegasus-unicorn cocked her head at me. “If you think we want to hurt you, you couldn’t be farther from the truth. When you fell from the sky, Fluttershy was the one who caught you… sort of. She wanted to help you, since you seemed to be hurt if the blood was anything to go by.”

“I just came by to check on you two, since I couldn’t be sure of your intentions.” These ponies don’t seem to wear clothes, but she is clearly wearing a scarf. There is snow on her hooves, and her saddlebags seem to be full. She clearly came to drop supplies off for me. They’re going to keep me here. She set the bags on the floor beside the couch and nodded to me with a false looking smile. “Fluttershy, can I have a moment alone with him please?”

Oh dear. ‘Fluttershy’ nodded to the purple pony and walked off into another room. Alone, the pony dropped the smile. “I don’t want to assume the worst of you, but I received a letter from the Princess while I was getting supplies for you. There have been strange creatures that fit your description causing trouble all over Equus, and I can’t risk you being the same.”

So there are others. “I assure you, I’m not like most humans.” Truth. “So, you’re going to leave me here? Alone? With her?”

Her horn began to glow, and a necklace levitated over to my hands. “You’re going to put that on. And if you even think about hurting a single hair on Fluttershy’s head—”

I stopped her with a false smile of my own, draping the necklace over my head without a second thought. “I wouldn’t think of it.” That would disqualify me, after all. “I will cooperate with you, and will assist you with any of these humans should you need it. I do not expect you to trust me, but my words are worth their weight in gold.” Of course, how do you weigh sound?

The pony nodded slowly, taking in the words with a thoughtful look on her face. Finally, she answered, “No. I do not trust you. But I know Fluttershy can handle you from here, so I’ll be off. I’ll have questions for you, along with a friend to get you some heavier clothes, tomorrow. So get some rest…”

Do I tell her my true name, or tell her my original name? “Felicia. My name is Felicia Sky. And you are?”

“My name is Twilight Sparkle.” She left without another word to me or Fluttershy, who returned with two saucers and two teacups balanced on her outstretched wings.

“Where is Twilight?” she asked me, voice quiet with surprise.

I offered her my false smile, wondering if it would fool her. “She had to go, something about a library or whatever.” Saddlebags were full of books, reading glasses concealed in her scarf. Bags under her eyes means she was up late, but doing what? Reading glasses? Reading, clearly. The library bit was a shot in the dark, as usual. She matched my smile with a smaller, but more genuine one, and offered the teacup to me. I took it in my slender fingers and nodded my thanks.

She will be easily manipulated… but I somehow feel as though that wouldn’t work. This creature said I had to ‘make friends with a pony’ within a month. Somehow, I feel he would know if it was genuine or not. Even so, I can be done in a couple days with no problems. Plus, having a friend with knowledge of this world would give me a leg up on the other humans…
So that’s my goal? Make friends with this… Fluttershy…
What a stupid freaking name.Hardly inspires confidence in her defensive capabilities.

Author's Note

The next chapters will be at least as long as these first two combined, so no worries.
If Felicia's reactions to being in Equestria seem off, a lot of her inner thoughts will be explained more in depth in the following chapters.