Pinkie Perfect

Chapters

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3

Chapter 1

This fanfiction contains a humanized Pinkie Pie. So if you do not like humanized characters, I suggest not reading it. I do not own any characters portrayed in this other than original characters.

Be as brutal as possible in the comments. This is my first fanfic, and I would love to hear any feedback you may have.

Chapter 1

You sit up groggily as your alarm clock wails into your ear. Looking to your left, you see the vacant spot next to you on your bed. You sigh and push up off of your bed. You walk over to the shower, shedding your clothes as you walk. Quickly grasping a towel, you hop into the shower. You let the water run down your back as you stare into the wall opposite the shower head. Your mind wanders as you grab for the soap and clean yourself, thinking to yourself how great it would be to have someone to share your life with. You step out of the shower with a frown on your face you are all too familiar with. You look into the mirror and your scowl deepens. Your eyes have an emptiness you can’t explain. You leave the shower and throw on some clothes quickly, not paying any attention to what you put on, you put on a shirt from your favorite show, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. You’ve dabbled in the brony community, but feel you could never legitimately be a part, as you have little to no talent to share. You grunt as you walk into your living room and your cat meows at you, you glance over and see he has no food, so you fill his bowl. At least he is happy. He's all the love you will need. You push air through your nose and grin slightly, that’s the closest you’ve come to a laugh in a while now. You slowly walk down the stairs out the door. Taking a glance at your slowly dying plant you haven’t bothered to water in a week, you slam the door behind you, locking it as you exit. You walk down your porch steps, with a slight glimmer of hope that today is the day you get your promotion. You step into your car and reach into your pocket for your keys. As you start your car you glance down at the fuel gauge and notice it’s on empty, ‘Guess I’m walking’ you think. No way you are going to spend 100 bucks for a full tank of gas. You pull your key out of the ignition and begin walking to work. As you react negatively to the depressing scenery around you, you notice a bakery for the first time. You make a mental note to go there sometime and you pick up speed, hoping to get to work before they run out of coffee. As you look up and see your large office building you sigh. A Master’s degree in business and you end up working at a call center. Beautiful. You grunt as you take a step up the stairs, realizing it’s pathetic that you are so out of shape that you have to take a break after walking up stairs. You aren’t exactly skinny, but you aren’t fat. You are just... not fit.

You walk out of your office building, feeling the same as when you went in, only this time, annoyed at all the people calling you and yelling at you that their television isn’t working, because they didn’t have the common sense to plug it in. You begin walking home and almost trip over a homeless person asleep on the street with their legs extended in front of them. The ground around him is littered with empty tin cans and beer bottles. You reach into your wallet and look for some change. All you can see is your assortment of Credit and Debit cards and a 20 dollar bill. You take out the 20 and place it in the man’s front pocket, as you begin to walk away he opens his eyes slightly, he notices the money in his pocket and his face lights up. He smiles and you see he is missing his entire bottom row of teeth, and his top row is doing just as bad.

You grin as he says drowsily, “Thank you.”

He stands up and limps into a deli to get food. You feel a slight warmth in your heart realizing you have helped someone out today. You see the bakery on the side of the road and decide to check it out. It was only 5:30, they should be open. You stand in front of the bakery and look up at the sign, it reads “Sugarcube Corner”. You almost can’t help but to laugh at the name you recognize from MLP. As you step into the bakery and see very little business your grin widens. This place makes you feel naturally happy, as though you have no cares in the world, as you glance around you see others share the same feeling as you, as everyone else is happy, until now you hadn’t noticed why until you glance up to see one of the most beautiful women you had ever seen. Her hair was a dark shade of pink, and she wore an almost neon pink t-shirt that was bright enough to match her personality. On her shirt sit 3 balloons similar to the shape of Pinkie Pie’s cutie mark in the show. In fact... it was the same. Her hair is poofy and tied up in a ponytail. You snort at the irony of her hairstyle. She stands about your height and can meet your gaze perfectly. You make a mental note that maybe she isn’t real, that maybe you had just gone insane, and you were hallucinating her. You walk to a nearby booth and sit down. Why would they have booths in a bakery?

Your thoughts are cut off as the waitress walks up to you and says in a quick high pitched voice, “Hi my name is Pinkie and I’ll be your waitress.”

You take a double take as you hear her name, “D-did you say Pinkie was your name?”

She nods at you with a smile on her face that could be matched by no one. Her deep blue eyes look at you with a recognition that makes you feel as if you have known her for years, in her smile you see two perfect rows of white teeth. She places down a menu for you to read.

Looking up you meet her gaze, and you say, “W-why do you have menus in a bakery?”

She looks at you and smiles, with vibrance in her voice she says, “Everything is baked fresh to order!”

Your eyes widen as she bends down in front of you and meets your eyes with an intense, yet friendly gaze. You avert your gaze as you blush heavily, very few females have had this affect on you. You look at your menu as her face stands inches away from yours, her lips sitting level with your face. You begin to sip from your water as she glances at your shirt and her smile widens.

She looks you in the eye and says with a sly tone in her voice, “Pinkie Pie is best pony.”

You nearly spit out your water as you finally meet another brony in real life, no less a beautiful female. You look up from your menu as she sits across the table from you. You heart races as you realize you and her have a mutual interest. You can’t help but smile wider seeing her grin. If you smile any wider your face will probably split in half. You look at the menu now, knowing full well you want something sweeter than what’s on the menu. You browse through the options, finding yourself getting hungrier and hungrier as you read through the menu, you feel as though Pinkie is getting impatient, but you doubt she is, from her generally happy attitude. You finally decide on a delicious looking crêpe. You look up to find Pinkie is still staring at you. You blush and look away quickly.

“Can I get a crêpe aaaand do you serve coffee?” You say, choking slightly on some spit.

She nods and her ponytail bounces behind her comically. She stands up and walks away, with a bounce in her step. You rest your hands on your forehead looking down at your menu she forgot to take. You sigh and stand up to bring it to the counter, as you walk your mind wanders to the beautiful girl who resembles your favorite pony, before you know it you are face to face with her again.

You manage to stutter out, “H-hi, you, uh, forgot this over at my table.”

She giggles and facepalms playfully, “Silly me.”

She grasps the menu, her hand lightly brushing yours. You find yourself looking into her eyes again, almost forgetting where you are. You begin to walk back toward your table, slightly cringing at the fact you didn’t say anything more to her. You sit down and stare at the table, running your hands through your thick hair. You hear faint beeps escaping from the back of the kitchen and the smell of freshly baked muffins travels into your nose. Your stomach rumbles and you put your hands on it, looking around to see if your crêpe is on it’s way. You are let down when you see it isn’t. Pinkie flies out of the kitchen with coffee in hand, not spilling a drop, but somehow keeping heavy momentum. She stops just short of your table. She places it on your table with a cheery grin that anyone could find attractive. You look up at her and mutter a thanks. You reach to the side of the table and grab for the half-and-half and sugar. The aroma of the coffee meets your nose and your stomach emits another dissatisfied rumble. You close your eyes, hearing plates clattering in the kitchen, you feel a glimmer of hope that your dessert is ready. You are met with a happy sight as Pinkie comes out with your crêpe in hand, it is lightly drizzled with a chocolate sauce, steam still rising from it. The crêpe is placed in front of you, you take a sip of your coffee, as Pinkie waits eagerly for you to take a bite. Your mouth waters as it approaches your mouth, you had spent your lunch break in the bathroom, letting your microwaved sushi escape your body, it hadn’t tasted good, but it was food, and it’s what your body needs, no matter how bad it rejects it. At a closer you look you also see there is a small glob of Nutella planted on the top. You take your first bite, allowing the strawberry filling to enter your mouth, with the flavor of the chocolate drizzle, your eyes go wide as you realize the tastes in your mouth are the greatest you’ve had since after your mother died. You look up to see Pinkie’s eyes open wide and expectant. You swallow your bite, having to hold back on taking another.

“This is possibly the most amazing thing I’ve ever tasted.” You say breathily.

She looks at you and giggles. You look in the window next to you to see your faint reflection, and see there is Nutella left on your top lip. You quickly grab a napkin and wipe your face off, blushing out of embarrassment. She asks you if you need anything else, and walks away after you shake your head. As you take another bite out of the pancake-like treat you sigh. If only you ever had a chance with a girl as beautiful as her. You finish up your treat in three more bites, cringing at how fast you had eaten it. Not because it didn't last long, but because you loved the sight of the beautiful young waitress. Pinkie sets down the check and runs to wait another table. You begin to wonder if she's the only employee. You chuckle lightly, realizing how absurd, yet plausible that is. You pull out your card and place it on the check, as you set it down Pinkie runs by and swoops it up, a light sweat forming on her forehead. You look around and notice business had picked up. How long had you been here? You pull out your phone and look at the time. Your eyes shoot open as you see that it is 7:00. Pinkie sprints back over to your table to set down your receipt, but manages to trip on the way over. You dash up and run toward her, kneeling by her fallen body. You hear a sound that sounds like crying coming from on the ground. You open your mouth to comfort her but realize she is giggling.

"Are you okay?" You say, standing up and reaching your hand outward to pull her up.

You feel her soft hand fall into yours, you pull her up and she does something unexpected: she hugs you. You give off a startled grunt as she squeezes herself against you. You put your hands around her back returning a hug you didn't expect. As you pull away you hear the soft, teasing whoops of onlookers.

She looks at you and grins, seeing your surprise from the hug, and hands you your card and receipt, you step out of the bakery and begin walking. As you walk home you allow yourself a grin. You may have to go back there again. You step up toward the entrance of your house, coughing as you smell the humid air around you. You unhitch the lock and step in, seeing the gloomy unlit area of your living room. The dust gathering on your coffee table was just a reminder that you have no patience to clean your house. You had once thought of hiring a maid, but realized that if you can’t afford gas, you can’t afford a maid. Your legs and feet ache from the walk you had between Sugarcube Corner and your house. It wasn’t even that long of a walk for most people, but you aren’t most people. You plop down on your couch grunting from the exertion of force. You flip on your tv, and flip to the news. You hear the word 'dead' and you immediately turn it off. You don’t want to hear it today. You can’t. Pushing off of the couch, you stand up to head to bed. You quickly throw on your nightwear and climb into bed. As you close your eyes you feel a sense of warmth pass over your body. For the first time in months, you have a restful sleep.

Chapter 2

You feel your eyes open up easier than ever before. You look to your clock, seeing that it’s a Saturday; and push off your bed. As usual, you have nothing to do today. You quickly hop in the shower and rinse yourself off, not being as thorough as usual. Jumping out of the shower, you nearly slip on the small puddle that had formed on the ground. After putting your clothes on you lay down. Why did you rush yourself in the first place? You pant heavily on your back. You cough feeling, your lungs strain. You grab for your inhaler and suck in the medicine, which in reality, was tap water. Hopping out of bed, you throw on some clothes and walk into your kitchen, glancing at your cat, Kijmo. He looks up at you and meows as you fill his food bowl. You throw some coffee into your coffee maker, but jump as you realize you could just go back to the bakery!

Turning off your coffee maker, you grab for your jacket, knocking over the coat rack as you sprint out your door. You trip and fall down the stairs, being lucky enough to push out your hands and only scrape them a bit. You begin your slow walk to the bakery, feeling the humidity cling to you like saran wrap, thinking to yourself that you are too desperate for this girl’s attention. Sighing you walk along the cracked sidewalk, looking at the little patches of grass growing between plates, the dew shining off them brightly.Yawning, you realize you were a bit too eager to get up this morning. What if she’s not even working? Oh well, the food and coffee is good, and maybe they serve croissants.

You see the sunrise just over the hill and you grin, seeing it may be a nice day today. Step quickly into the bakery, you feel the air conditioner wash over you as you escape from the humidity. Sitting down at the same booth as before, you glance over to see your favorite waitress again. She walks over to you and introduces herself, only this time her hair isn’t held up in a ponytail. It’s cascading down her shoulder in a curtain of perfect ringlets.

A grin curls up on your face as you see this beautiful girl again, this time her hair looking just as pretty as her. “How can I help you today?” Pinkie says as you look over the breakfast menu, noting how good everything looks with the small pictures providing a visual aid.

"I don't know yet..." You utter, the drowsiness obvious in your voice.

Pinke smiles and says, “What to drink then?” It was then that your wave of drowsiness hit you.

Knowing full well you need about 3 coffees and an adrenaline shot directly into your bloodstream, you manage to grumble out, “Coffee, and lot’s of it.”

“I’ll have that right to you!” She says through a toothy grin, each of her teeth gleaming from the light of the morning sun. She walks away, toward the kitchen. Another low grumble escapes your abdomen as a waft of amazing smells escape from the shortly open door. As you wait you pull out your phone, staring at it for no particular reason, you only really kept it for emergencies. The time reads 8:52, you grunt reminding yourself not to be so eager to escape the dusty trap you call home.

To pass the time, you take a look around, hoping to find something interesting. You notice an ATM machine, a claw machine, and a change machine. Pushing off of the chair, you walk slowly toward the ATM machine, thinking this may be the best way to pass the time; you hear a clunk behind you as the coffee is set on your table. Depositing your Debit card into the ATM machine, you take out 10 dollars. The soft sound of carnival music emits from the claw machine teasingly. Inside the claw machine you are able to spot the typical variations of stuffed animals, some torn from previous attempts. Throwing the money into the change machine you get an assortment of quarters. Stepping up to the machine you deposit four of the quarters in, not exactly knowing what you want to win yet. You look around the machine, noticing a small Fluttershy plush doll in the back left corner, looking untouched. You aim the claw above it and press the button. The claw moves down slowly, but falls just ahead of the plush, and picks up a big load of air.

You walk back to your table, and grab your coffee, sipping lightly on the hot drink. Your tongue burns and you clench your eyes from the bitterness, and the heat. You begin reaching for the sugar, and half-and-half. Pouring each of these in, you mix it around and take another sip. It’s cooled off, at least.

You walk back to the claw machine, holding your coffee in hand. Setting it down, you reach your other hand into your pocket, to grab another dollar worth of change. You sigh, putting it in the machine. Aiming the claw above the plush, you press the button. The claw falls onto the doll and grips it, your heart begins to race slightly. As the claw lifts the doll, it falls out and hits the other dolls with a bounce. Shoving another dollar into the machine, you take a quick sip of your coffee, feeling the hot liquid slide down your throat, waking you up a bit more. Aiming just above the doll you squint, trying to get a better view. You move to the each side of the machine, like a child, to make sure you have it properly aimed. Slightly moving it a bit more to the left, you press the button. It falls onto the doll, it’s claws wrapping around the doll, it lifts it up, the head bobbing slightly as it lifts from the pile. You breathe a sigh of relief as you don’t have to spend any more money. Grabbing your newly won prize, you walk to your booth, coffee in one hand, plush in the other.

Sitting down, you exhale as your butt hits the chair. Setting down the plush doll, you grin. Looking to your left you see Pinkie walking toward you. Upon closer inspection, you notice she isn’t exactly walking, she’s skipping. She stands next to you and looks at you, then averts her gaze to the plush, her eyes widening.

“Where did you get that?” She exclaims, a slight grin on her face.

You look back at her confused, “I won it over at the claw machine.” Looking over at it you notice a small tag on the bottom of the back left hoof of the plush. It was nothing out of the ordinary, it was just not something Hasbro would have made, as it obviously the tag had writing on it, and the plushie was of good quality. You bring the tag up to reading distance and you look closely at it. On it reads ‘Winner! One free meal!’. Yay. You smile and look over at Pinkie, she is obviously excited that you won. A thought comes to you, and you pick up the doll, handing it to Pinkie. Her eyes sparkle as she grabs it and hugs it closely.

“You can have it.” You say, knowing of your huge hidden collection of similar plushies.

“Oooooh, thank you, thank you, thank you!” She says pulling you in for a hug. As your head rests on her shoulder, a faint, sweet cotton candy smell wafts into your nose. You pull away from the hug, and you grin as Pinkie emits a slight giggle.

“I think I’m ready to order now.” You announce, handing her your menu.

“What’ll you have?” She says, meeting your gaze vibrantly.

“Could I have a stuffed croissant?” You ask.

“Sure I’ll have that here as quick as I can!”

You sit down as she bounces away, humming a familiar song under her breath. Well, now you HAVE to listen to it. You pull out your mp3 player and put the earbuds to your ears, smiling as you hear Pinkie Pie’s refreshing voice singing Smile, Smile, Smile. Your heart leaps as you close your eyes, and let the joyous song go through you.

As you listen to the point in which Pinkie sings of darkness and loneliness, and how you may feel sad, but Pinkie will be there to show you that it isn’t that bad, you chuckle. Pinkie almost sounds like a pastor trying to convert you. You are snapped to reality as you hear, “...-ood singer.” You open your eyes and look to your right, seeing Pinkie standing there with your food.

“What did you say?” You ask, removing your earbuds and pausing the song.

“I said you’re a good singer. You sing when you are listening to music. Didn’t you know that?” She replies, giving you a warm smile. You blush, knowing that your singing is something you are very conscious about, and have never shown anyone.

“Th-thank you.” You manage to stutter, as she sets down your food in front of you. The steam rising off of it makes it look just as delectable as the cheese and ham visible through a cut in the side of the croissant. Sipping lightly on your coffee, you grab a fork and knife, cutting the croissant, as cheese leaks out of the sides. You stab it with your fork and shove the food into your mouth, chewing hungrily. Your stomach grumbles, wanting more. Taking another bite, you exhale and take a sip of coffee. After finishing your coffee and croissant, you walk toward the cash register, to talk to Pinkie. Smiling, you look at her and say, “I’d like to say, you make some of the best pastries I’ve ever had.”

She looks back at you and returns a grin, “Thank you! I get told that a lot. I work hard, but I’m glad it pays off!” You pull out 5 dollars and hold it toward her. As she takes it, her eyes glitter a bit. Looking at her eyes, you suddenly become overcome with happiness, at least… more than before. Feeling your courage well up inside of you, you take a shot.

“Would you… maybe like to do something tonight?” You ask, somewhat appalled by your straightforwardness.

Her eyes glitter as she says, “What do you have in mind?”

“M-maybe a movie?” You say, feeling your bravado falter a bit. The smile on her face is either her being happy you asked… or she is laughing at you internally.

“Sure! I’d be glad to get to know you more!” She says, grinning.

“Can I have your n-number?” You manage to stutter out, your cheeks glowing red. She gives you her number and you give her yours. Walking out of the bakery, you look over to Pinkie, winking as you step out of the door. You run home, filled with adrenaline, feeling like a 14 year old at your eagerness. Tonight is going to be a good night.

Chapter 3

Your heart races as you slow down to enter your house. Inserting your key into the lock, you twist it and step in. Sighing, you move to your couch and sit down. The musty smell of your old couch, mixes with the dust flying through the air as you sit down heavily. You exhale, attempting to push out any dust you may have inhaled. Feeling your head begin to droop down, you snap it back up. ‘I can’t sleep now!’ You tell yourself, ‘I have a date in… in…’ You facepalm. Hadn’t you set a time? Reaching into your pocket, you grope for your phone, but realize you have no clue when Pinkie gets off of work. In fact, you were ignorant to everything about this girl. What if she was just expecting a get-to-know-you-as-a-friend date? Oh God, how could you have been so stupid? Glancing back at your phone, you sigh. Maybe you should have cleared some things up before you decided to run straight home.

Coughing, you reach for the television remote, and flip to the Hub. ‘Oh right,’ you tell yourself, ‘it’s past noon, nothing good is on.’ You sigh and change the channel to Comedy Central. Yeah, good old, adult humor. Immediately you regret your decision to change to this channel, as you see they are playing another horrible Adam Sandler movie. Great, recycled movies. Wonderful. You stretch your arms, and look around. ‘Suppose it’s nap time.’ You think. Walking slowly to the stairs, you begin a slow descent up. Reaching your bedroom, you plop down, savoring the feeling of your back cracking as you tumble on to the bed. The blankets make a muffled fumph as you hit the bed. You close your eyes, attempting to fantasize how this night might come out.

Your eyes dart open. How long had you been out? You grope around for your phone, attempting to find it in the messy pile of sheets. You press the button to turn on the screen and put it in front of your face. The previous light coming in from the windows was now gone, replaced by the darkness. You look at your phone, and sigh. It’s 10:30 at night. 10:30. You slept for almost 13 hours? It was then that it hit you. You stood Pinkie up. Oh no. Oh no, oh no, oh no. This cannot be good. Reaching into your pocket, you grab for the piece of paper with her number on it. As you begin to type in the number, looking back and forth between the paper and your phone, you sigh. 13 hours of sleep? That had to happen now? The day of a possible date? Pressing the call button you bring the phone to your ear and wait to hear Pinkie’s voice. ‘Wait, how often does she work? What’s her schedule? How do I know she isn’t still working? But it’s 10:30… she isn’t working thislate, no way.’ Your eyes widen as you hear Pinkie’s voice on the other end.

“You’ve got Pinkie!” She says loudly through the phone, triggering a headache from her loud answer.

“Oh… uh hi.” You manage to reply. ‘Smooth’ the voice in your head says.

“Who’s this?” Pinkie asks. Oh right… you had never given her your phone number.

“Oh it’s me… from Sugar Cube Corner?” You sputter out.

“Oh, well it’s a bit late now to go on a date… why did you call so late?” She asks you, with a slight pang of annoyance in her voice.

Well this is going to sound stupid, you take a slight inhalation of breath before you say, “Well, I slept.. for… 13 hours… I suppose I must have been tired, I’m so sorry, I didn’t know I would sleep for so long.”

All you hear is silence from the other end. Pinkie sighs and says, “Pinkie Promise?”

“What?” You ask her.

“Do you Pinkie Promise it was an accident?”

Sure, you loved the show, but you wouldn’t go as far as to use terms like this in real life. Hmm, maybe she’s just completely insanely obsessed with the show? You should probably answer her. You say into the phone, “Well, I meant to fall asleep, but I didn’t mean to sleep for 13 hours. So yes I Pinkie Promise my oversleeping was an accident.”

She says, with all the seriousness in the world in her voice, “Say it.”

“Wh-what?” You stutter.

“Say the Promise.”

“I don’t remember it.”

“How can you forget it?” She asks, her voice filled with disappointment.

“I like the show, but I don’t go all out like most bronies.” You thought about saying Pegasisters, but you really hate that term, it’s almost as pointless as the term ‘brony’. Why can’t you just like the show?

“How about I help you? Repeat after me: ‘Cross my heart, and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!’”

You look around, in your near pitch dark room, aside from the phone light. As if anyone is actually around to watch you make a fool of yourself… Although, Kijmo is a quite judgemental cat… You blow air through your nose in an attempt to laugh. Sighing you give up, “Fine. I cross my heart, and hope to fly, stick… what was it?”

You can hear her stomp her foot through the other end of the phone. She continues your sentence by saying, “Stick a cupcake in my eye!”

“I cross my heart, and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.” You say, feeling like a huge loser. At least no one is around to hear you, or see your blushing cheeks. You hear Kijmo meow from behind you, if that’s what you could consider it. It sounded more like he was laughing at you. Wouldn’t be surprised, he almost seemed human at times.

Almost hearing Pinkie’s smile, you hear her say, “Okay, I forgive you! Do you still want to go out tonight? I mean, I have to work early tomorrow, but I can still go out, if it makes you happy!” Well, you do have to work tomorrow too… So you can’t tonight, wonderful, one of your only days off for the next two weeks, and you spend it sleeping, as opposed to getting to know this beautiful girl.

“We can’t tonight, I also have to work early tomorrow. I’m sorry. How about tomorrow, or really, any time this week?” For some reason, your company pays you on Wednesdays. One day you asked a higher up about it and they told you it was something about the large amount of employees, so they had to calculate it over the weekend. You’d think a big company would be able to deal with an overflow of employees.

“We’ll see.” Pinkie says.

“Okay, well, I suppose I’ll talk to you lat-” You are cut off by the sound of Pinkie’s light, cute snoring. You can almost imagine her there, sleeping, while holding her Fluttershy doll close to her, cuddling it, each of her locks of beautiful, curly, pink hair falling on her shoulders. Hanging up the call, you exhale a breath of relief. At least she doesn’t hate you… not that she is a type of person to hate another. Now… what to do tonight… you aren’t tired. Maybe you should still sleep, just in case.

You glance at your phone and see it’s now 11:00. Time to check the internet before heading to bed. Sitting in front of your computer, you load up Google Chrome, typing in the url of facebook before the page is even done loading. Your computer wasn’t a gaming computer. It could hardly handle Arma II on the lowest settings. Scrolling through the annoying complaints, banter, and statuses about your life you sigh. The internet has most of the world’s knowledge at it’s fingertips. But somehow people manage to only use it for cat videos, getting in arguments with strangers, and looking at information about their favorite shows. In your case, My Little Pony. ‘Well this is riveting.’ You think as you see the constant stream of stupidity falling from the fingertips of teenagers onto the internet. Shutting off your computer, you walk to your bed and fly face down, as you trip over Kijmo. You’d swear he’s out to get you. Flipping onto your back, you sigh and stretch, feeling the muscles in your back tense up. Moving up to rest your head on the pillow, you pull the covers up. Feeling the warmth meet your body. You close your eyes and drift into your dreams.

You’re on a cloud. The soft folds of the cloud push against you, being the most comfortable thing you will ever lay on. You stretch your back and look down, only to find you have hooves and the body of a colt. ‘Wonderful.’ you think to yourself. Rolling over onto your stomach, you stand up, pushing the cloud slightly under your weight. Your brown coat being very different from the whiteness of the cloud. You stretch your wings and flap them, feeling the light cracks in your bones as you prepare yourself for flight. Pushing off of the cloud, you flap your wings lazily and look down. Equestria is a beautiful place. The sun shining on your back and wings, providing your warmth… the beauty of the rolling green hills that ponies lazily walk on every day. It’s all beautiful. Your wings pick up the pace as you change your pose into a more aerodynamic shape. Flapping quicker you shoot across the sky, building an excessive amount of speed. Trying to make the fabled Sonic Rainboom you push forward. Suddenly you cramp up, your wing pulling itself against your body. With one wing flapping, all you can do is fall quickly to the left. The ground quickly approaches you and then… darkness. Opening your eyes again, you taste dirt in your mouth. A group of ponies stand around you, all with worried looks on their faces. Pushing off the ground, you attempt to get up. The voice of a soothing colt stops you as you look to the left. “Woah there…” the medical colt says, “I think you may need to slow down there. You took quite a tumble.” You attempt to move your wing but a shot of pain goes through you, and you scream. A slight tingle travels through your body as you are wrapped in telekinetic magic. A weightlessness feeling hits you, you begin thrashing in fear. “Calm down.” The medical-pony says, during your thrashing you look over to see the colt’s cutie mark, a syringe wrapped in a musical note. Wonder how’d you go about getting that.

The colt lays you down on his saddle and begins to canter to a clinic. You still feel his magic wrapped around you, to help reduce your weight a bit so he can move it a fair pace. After what feels like a year, you reach the clinic and are properly placed on a bed. Looking around you see nothing medical looking… all you see is a microphone and two speakers placed next to you. The colt walks up to the microphone and looks at you. He clears his throat and prepares to sing, his horn glowing with a light pink magic. As he is about to sing in walks a beautiful pony with pink fur, her mane a darker shade of the same color. Pinkie Pie. She says to the doctor, “Sorry I’m late! I had to give Gummy a bath!” She bounces to the doctor and stands beside him near the microphone. The medical-pony looks at you and smiles, showing off a row of white teeth. “Today we are going to be trying an experiment. I have made a spell that should help people immensely. Singing will have more than just metaphorical healing powers.” the colt says, glancing over at Pinkie. A silence falls over the room, the doctor and Pinkie begin to open their mouths. A single note plays from somewhere unknown in the room and they let loose their singing voices, “BEEP BEEP BEEP. BEEP BEEP BEEP.”

Damnit! Your eyes dart open as you are awoken from your dream. Slapping the nightstand to try and hit the off button on your alarm. You push the alarm off of your nightstand, it hits the ground with a thunk and it shuts off. Sighing, you stand up and stumble into the bathroom. You crawl into the bathtub and curl up, not wanting to go anywhere today. Standing up, you shed your clothes and throw them onto the ground. Turning on the shower you grunt as the cold water hits you, slowly turning warmer. Then too hot. Wonderful. You turn it back down and adjust it until it is the proper heat. The world around you fades out as you focus on getting clean. Quickly finishing, you dry off and walk into your room, throwing on clothes you feel a tear fall from your eye. Another day another waste of time.

You grab your jacket and walk into the cold air. What a great dream. You got to experience being a colt, and you got to fly… granted, you broke both wings, and had a face full of dirt. Not to mention the pool of blood you could feel around your dream-body. You zone out and begin to think about your dream, only to be suddenly snapped out of it by a passing, honking car... right in front of your face. Startled, you stop moving, looking around. You are in the middle of the street. As fast as you can, you run to the other side of the street, meeting the sidewalk mid-stride, and you fall flat on your face. Blood pours down your top lip as you push off the ground. Panicking, you push into the nearest store, the owner looks at you and frowns. You say through your hands covering your face, “Hello, do you have a tissue please?” The owner laughs and grabs a couple of tissues from the tissue box on the counter. You grab for them eagerly with your freehand, pushing the tissue straight to your face, wiping up the blood. Better your nose then your whole body. Reaching into your wallet, you throw a five on the counter, and run into the bathroom, to wash off the itchy, browning dry blood.

Stepping out of the store, you continue your walk to work, now moving at a slight jog, due to your loss of time. Reaching your work you sigh. Hopefully today will be a good day. Sighing, you push open the glass doors leading into your work, the foyer echoing as you take heavy steps up the stairs. As you walk into your cubicle you sigh. An ironic little ‘yay’ plays in your head. What a fun day this will be.

Stretching, you walk out of your cubicle. After a whole day of getting yelled at by people with no technological experience whatsoever, you think you deserve a break. Walking in the direction of your house, you glance at the bakery, maybe you should go in… ‘No,’ you tell yourself,‘three days in a row is a bit much.’ You continue walking, smiling as you see Pinkie in the building, serving people. She seems to be the only one working… well… always. Looking through the window you see small bags under her eyes, the tiredness obvious. Yet, her smile still remains, showing her perfect teeth. You decide against your previous decision, and go into the bakery to talk to her. Her face lights up as she sees you, and she makes a series of gestures. Ending with her putting her fist to her eye. She giggles at your puzzled look.

Sitting down at a booth, you wait for Pinkie to come to you. She walks toward you, her hair bouncing behind her. Just as she’s about to reach you, she takes a right and walks into the kitchen. You laugh, realizing that, yes there are other people than just you and her. Pinkie walks out, and hands the orders out, almost in one fluid motion. Pinkie walks toward you and pulls out her notepad. She looks at you and says, “What’ll you have?”

Looking up at her you say, “I’m not here for anything today. I just thought I should actually come here to learn a bit about you before we go on a date.”

A puzzled look crosses her eyes as she says to you, “Isn’t that what a date is?”

Pinkie grins as your eyes become puzzled as well. “Well… I suppose so. But I thought I… get to know… and… you… but…” Your voice trails away slowly and she giggles.

“I know what you mean.” She says, placing her hand on yours. Your face immediately flushes red as you feel her hand against yours. Her hand felt so soft, you’ve never wanted to kiss a hand… but this may be the exception.

“Well… what are your interests?” You ask Pinkie, grinning as you look into her deep blue eyes.

“Well,” she sings, “I like to party, I love to hang out with my friends, which is just about everyone, but for some reason I didn’t know you, which is sad, but when I first met you I kind of gasped internally when I saw you, which made me sad, because that means I didn’t get to introduce you to any of my friends, and my friends are great, and you didn’t seem to have a lot of friends from the way you walked and the way you talked and the way you blushed so heavily when you saw me the first time.” Your eyes widen as you hear her say the longest, fastest run on sentence you’ve ever heard. She continues her rambling, only now taking a breath, “So what are your interests?”

“I suppose I just…” What do you do exactly? You sleep. What else, go on the internet? “I like to… browse the internet?”

“That sounds fun! What do you do, do you like to read fanfictions? I love them!” Her hand squeezes yours, reminding you that you and her are touching hands. You look up to meet her eyes again. She flutters her eyelashes playfully, and you blush again.

“I like to read them… I don’t read them often, because I don’t really like fandoms but when I do they are pretty good.” You grin slightly as you say this, seeing Pinkie’s eyes show that she can recognize how you feel.

“Yeah, I love fanfictions! Especially this one.” She says, looking at you and grinning, the lack of sleep obvious under her eyes. She obviously tried to cover it up with makeup, which she doesn’t need from her natural beauty.

“What?” You say, not understanding what she meant by ‘especially this one’.

She laughs and shakes her head, “You’ll never understand.” You shrug it off and smile at her cute little laugh.

“I suppose we should wait until the first date before we get to know each other really. What time do you get off? Does tonight sound good?” You say to her, glancing at her hand still touching yours, your hand building a sweat under hers.

“We can’t tonight. I have too much to do. Tomorrow? I get off at 6:45 tomorrow.” She says to you taking her hand off of yours and laughs.

“Sounds good.” You agree.

“Okey Dokey Lokey!” She says, giggling. Standing, you match her height, being equally as tall as her. Looking into her eyes, you get lost in them yet again. Before you know it you are hugging Pinkie, your arms wrapped lightly around her. Her hair smelling of cotton candy. Pinkie pulls away and you do the same. Grinning, you begin to walk toward the door, and step outside, letting the darkness envelope you. Looking up at the moon, your grin widens as you see the face of the Mare in the Moon staring you in the face. Hmph, maybe your sanity is slipping.

That’s besides the point, ‘I have a date tomorrow!’ You think to yourself. Hopefully this time it will actually happen.