Pinkie Perfect

Chapter 3

        Your heart races as you slow down to enter your house. Inserting your key into the lock, you twist it and step in. Sighing, you move to your couch and sit down. The musty smell of your old couch, mixes with the dust flying through the air as you sit down heavily. You exhale, attempting to push out any dust you may have inhaled. Feeling your head begin to droop down, you snap it back up. ‘I can’t sleep now!’ You tell yourself, ‘I have a date in… in…’ You facepalm. Hadn’t you set a time? Reaching into your pocket, you grope for your phone, but realize you have no clue when Pinkie gets off of work. In fact, you were ignorant to everything about this girl. What if she was just expecting a get-to-know-you-as-a-friend date? Oh God, how could you have been so stupid? Glancing back at your phone, you sigh. Maybe you should have cleared some things up before you decided to run straight home.

        Coughing, you reach for the television remote, and flip to the Hub. ‘Oh right,’ you tell yourself, ‘it’s past noon, nothing good is on.’ You sigh and change the channel to Comedy Central. Yeah, good old, adult humor. Immediately you regret your decision to change to this channel, as you see they are playing another horrible Adam Sandler movie. Great, recycled movies. Wonderful. You stretch your arms, and look around. ‘Suppose it’s nap time.’ You think. Walking slowly to the stairs, you begin a slow descent up. Reaching your bedroom, you plop down, savoring the feeling of your back cracking as you tumble on to the bed. The blankets make a muffled fumph as you hit the bed. You close your eyes, attempting to fantasize how this night might come out.

Your eyes dart open. How long had you been out? You grope around for your phone, attempting to find it in the messy pile of sheets. You press the button to turn on the screen and put it in front of your face. The previous light coming in from the windows was now gone, replaced by the darkness. You look at your phone, and sigh. It’s 10:30 at night. 10:30. You slept for almost 13 hours? It was then that it hit you. You stood Pinkie up. Oh no. Oh no, oh no, oh no. This cannot be good. Reaching into your pocket, you grab for the piece of paper with her number on it. As you begin to type in the number, looking back and forth between the paper and your phone, you sigh. 13 hours of sleep? That had to happen now? The day of a possible date? Pressing the call button you bring the phone to your ear and wait to hear Pinkie’s voice. ‘Wait, how often does she work? What’s her schedule? How do I know she isn’t still working? But it’s 10:30… she isn’t working thislate, no way.’ Your eyes widen as you hear Pinkie’s voice on the other end.

“You’ve got Pinkie!” She says loudly through the phone, triggering a headache from her loud answer.

“Oh… uh hi.” You manage to reply. ‘Smooth’ the voice in your head says.

“Who’s this?” Pinkie asks. Oh right… you had never given her your phone number.

“Oh it’s me… from Sugar Cube Corner?” You sputter out.

“Oh, well it’s a bit late now to go on a date… why did you call so late?” She asks you, with a slight pang of annoyance in her voice.

Well this is going to sound stupid, you take a slight inhalation of breath before you say, “Well, I slept.. for… 13 hours… I suppose I must have been tired, I’m so sorry, I didn’t know I would sleep for so long.”

All you hear is silence from the other end. Pinkie sighs and says, “Pinkie Promise?”

“What?” You ask her.

“Do you Pinkie Promise it was an accident?”

Sure, you loved the show, but you wouldn’t go as far as to use terms like this in real life. Hmm, maybe she’s just completely insanely obsessed with the show? You should probably answer her. You say into the phone, “Well, I meant to fall asleep, but I didn’t mean to sleep for 13 hours. So yes I Pinkie Promise my oversleeping was an accident.”

She says, with all the seriousness in the world in her voice, “Say it.”

“Wh-what?” You stutter.

“Say the Promise.”

“I don’t remember it.”

“How can you forget it?” She asks, her voice filled with disappointment.

“I like the show, but I don’t go all out like most bronies.” You thought about saying Pegasisters, but you really hate that term, it’s almost as pointless as the term ‘brony’. Why can’t you just like the show?

“How about I help you? Repeat after me: ‘Cross my heart, and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!’”

You look around, in your near pitch dark room, aside from the phone light. As if anyone is actually around to watch you make a fool of yourself… Although, Kijmo is a quite judgemental cat… You blow air through your nose in an attempt to laugh. Sighing you give up, “Fine. I cross my heart, and hope to fly, stick… what was it?”

You can hear her stomp her foot through the other end of the phone. She continues your sentence by saying, “Stick a cupcake in my eye!”

“I cross my heart, and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.”  You say, feeling like a huge loser. At least no one is around to hear you, or see your blushing cheeks. You hear Kijmo meow from behind you, if that’s what you could consider it. It sounded more like he was laughing at you. Wouldn’t be surprised, he almost seemed human at times.

Almost hearing Pinkie’s smile, you hear her say, “Okay, I forgive you! Do you still want to go out tonight? I mean, I have to work early tomorrow, but I can still go out, if it makes you happy!” Well, you do have to work tomorrow too… So you can’t tonight, wonderful, one of your only days off for the next two weeks, and you spend it sleeping, as opposed to getting to know this beautiful girl.

“We can’t tonight, I also have to work early tomorrow. I’m sorry. How about tomorrow, or really, any time this week?” For some reason, your company pays you on Wednesdays. One day you asked a higher up about it and they told you it was something about the large amount of employees, so they had to calculate it over the weekend. You’d think a big company would be able to deal with an overflow of employees.

“We’ll see.” Pinkie says.

“Okay, well, I suppose I’ll talk to you lat-” You are cut off by the sound of Pinkie’s light, cute snoring. You can almost imagine her there, sleeping, while holding her Fluttershy doll close to her, cuddling it, each of her locks of beautiful, curly, pink hair falling on her shoulders. Hanging up the call, you exhale a breath of relief. At least she doesn’t hate you… not that she is a type of person to hate another. Now… what to do tonight… you aren’t tired. Maybe you should still sleep, just in case.

 You glance at your phone and see it’s now 11:00. Time to check the internet before heading to bed. Sitting in front of your computer, you load up Google Chrome, typing in the url of facebook before the page is even done loading. Your computer wasn’t a gaming computer. It could hardly handle Arma II on the lowest settings. Scrolling through the annoying complaints, banter, and statuses about your life you sigh. The internet has most of the world’s knowledge at it’s fingertips. But somehow people manage to only use it for cat videos, getting in arguments with strangers, and looking at information about their favorite shows. In your case, My Little Pony. ‘Well this is riveting.’ You think as you see the constant stream of stupidity falling from the fingertips of teenagers onto the internet. Shutting off your computer, you walk to your bed and fly face down, as you trip over Kijmo. You’d swear he’s out to get you. Flipping onto your back, you sigh and stretch, feeling the muscles in your back tense up. Moving up to rest your head on the pillow, you pull the covers up. Feeling the warmth meet your body. You close your eyes and drift into your dreams.

You’re on a cloud. The soft folds of the cloud push against you, being the most comfortable thing you will ever lay on. You stretch your back and look down, only to find you have hooves and the body of a colt. ‘Wonderful.’ you think to yourself. Rolling over onto your stomach, you stand up, pushing the cloud slightly under your weight. Your brown coat being very different from the whiteness of the cloud. You stretch your wings and flap them, feeling the light cracks in your bones as you prepare yourself for flight. Pushing off of the cloud, you flap your wings lazily and look down. Equestria is a beautiful place. The sun shining on your back and wings, providing your warmth… the beauty of the rolling green hills that ponies lazily walk on every day. It’s all beautiful. Your wings pick up the pace as you change your pose into a more aerodynamic shape. Flapping quicker you shoot across the sky, building an excessive amount of speed. Trying to make the fabled Sonic Rainboom you push forward. Suddenly you cramp up, your wing pulling itself against your body. With one wing flapping, all you can do is fall quickly to the left. The ground quickly approaches you and then… darkness. Opening your eyes again, you taste dirt in your mouth. A group of ponies stand around you, all with worried looks on their faces. Pushing off the ground, you attempt to get up. The voice of a soothing colt stops you as you look to the left. “Woah there…” the medical colt says, “I think you may need to slow down there. You took quite a tumble.” You attempt to move your wing but a shot of pain goes through you, and you scream. A slight tingle travels through your body as you are wrapped in telekinetic magic. A weightlessness feeling hits you, you begin thrashing in fear. “Calm down.” The medical-pony says, during your thrashing you look over to see the colt’s cutie mark, a syringe wrapped in a musical note. Wonder how’d you go about getting that.

The colt lays you down on his saddle and begins to canter to a clinic. You still feel his magic wrapped around you, to help reduce your weight a bit so he can move it a fair pace. After what feels like a year, you reach the clinic and are properly placed on a bed. Looking around you see nothing medical looking… all you see is a microphone and two speakers placed next to you. The colt walks up to the microphone and looks at you. He clears his throat and prepares to sing, his horn glowing with a light pink magic. As he is about to sing in walks a beautiful pony with pink fur, her mane a darker shade of the same color. Pinkie Pie. She says to the doctor, “Sorry I’m late! I had to give Gummy a bath!” She bounces to the doctor and stands beside him near the microphone. The medical-pony looks at you and smiles, showing off a row of white teeth. “Today we are going to be trying an experiment. I have made a spell that should help people immensely. Singing will have more than just metaphorical healing powers.” the colt says, glancing over at Pinkie. A silence falls over the room, the doctor and Pinkie begin to open their mouths. A single note plays from somewhere unknown in the room and they let loose their singing voices, “BEEP BEEP BEEP. BEEP BEEP BEEP.”

Damnit! Your eyes dart open as you are awoken from your dream. Slapping the nightstand to try and hit the off button on your alarm. You push the alarm off of your nightstand, it hits the ground with a thunk and it shuts off. Sighing, you stand up and stumble into the bathroom. You crawl into the bathtub and curl up, not wanting to go anywhere today. Standing up, you shed your clothes and throw them onto the ground. Turning on the shower you grunt as the cold water hits you, slowly turning warmer. Then too hot. Wonderful. You turn it back down and adjust it until it is the proper heat. The world around you fades out as you focus on getting clean. Quickly finishing, you dry off and walk into your room, throwing on clothes you feel a tear fall from your eye. Another day another waste of time.

You grab your jacket and walk into the cold air. What a great dream. You got to experience being a colt, and you got to fly… granted, you broke both wings, and had a face full of dirt. Not to mention the pool of blood you could feel around your dream-body. You zone out and begin to think about your dream, only to be suddenly snapped out of it by a passing, honking car... right in front of your face. Startled, you stop moving, looking around. You are in the middle of the street. As fast as you can, you run to the other side of the street, meeting the sidewalk mid-stride, and you fall flat on your face. Blood pours down your top lip as you push off the ground. Panicking, you push into the nearest store, the owner looks at you and frowns. You say through your hands covering your face, “Hello, do you have a tissue please?” The owner laughs and grabs a couple of tissues from the tissue box on the counter. You grab for them eagerly with your freehand, pushing the tissue straight to your face, wiping up the blood. Better your nose then your whole body. Reaching into your wallet, you throw a five on the counter, and run into the bathroom, to wash off the itchy, browning dry blood.

Stepping out of the store, you continue your walk to work, now moving at a slight jog, due to your loss of time. Reaching your work you sigh. Hopefully today will be a good day. Sighing, you push open the glass doors leading into your work, the foyer echoing as you take heavy steps up the stairs. As you walk into your cubicle you sigh. An ironic little ‘yay’ plays in your head. What a fun day this will be.

Stretching, you walk out of your cubicle. After a whole day of getting yelled at by people with no technological experience whatsoever, you think you deserve a break. Walking in the direction of your house, you glance at the bakery, maybe you should go in… ‘No,’ you tell yourself,‘three days in a row is a bit much.’ You continue walking, smiling as you see Pinkie in the building, serving people. She seems to be the only one working… well… always. Looking through the window you see small bags under her eyes, the tiredness obvious. Yet, her smile still remains, showing her perfect teeth. You decide against your previous decision, and go into the bakery to talk to her. Her face lights up as she sees you, and she makes a series of gestures. Ending with her putting her fist to her eye. She giggles at your puzzled look.

Sitting down at a booth, you wait for Pinkie to come to you. She walks toward you, her hair bouncing behind her. Just as she’s about to reach you, she takes a right and walks into the kitchen. You laugh, realizing that, yes there are other people than just you and her. Pinkie walks out, and hands the orders out, almost in one fluid motion. Pinkie walks toward you and pulls out her notepad. She looks at you and says, “What’ll you have?”

Looking up at her you say, “I’m not here for anything today. I just thought I should actually come here to learn a bit about you before we go on a date.”

A puzzled look crosses her eyes as she says to you, “Isn’t that what a date is?”

Pinkie grins as your eyes become puzzled as well. “Well… I suppose so. But I thought I… get to know… and… you… but…” Your voice trails away slowly and she giggles.

“I know what you mean.” She says, placing her hand on yours. Your face immediately flushes red as you feel her hand against yours. Her hand felt so soft, you’ve never wanted to kiss a hand… but this may be the exception.

“Well… what are your interests?” You ask Pinkie, grinning as you look into her deep blue eyes.

“Well,” she sings, “I like to party, I love to hang out with my friends, which is just about everyone, but for some reason I didn’t know you, which is sad, but when I first met you I kind of gasped internally when I saw you, which made me sad, because that means I didn’t get to introduce you to any of my friends, and my friends are great, and you didn’t seem to have a lot of friends from the way you walked and the way you talked and the way you blushed so heavily when you saw me the first time.” Your eyes widen as you hear her say the longest, fastest run on sentence you’ve ever heard. She continues her rambling, only now taking a breath, “So what are your interests?”

“I suppose I just…” What do you do exactly? You sleep. What else, go on the internet? “I like to… browse the internet?”

“That sounds fun! What do you do, do you like to read fanfictions? I love them!” Her hand squeezes yours, reminding you that you and her are touching hands. You look up to meet her eyes again. She flutters her eyelashes playfully, and you blush again.

“I like to read them… I don’t read them often, because I don’t really like fandoms but when I do they are pretty good.” You grin slightly as you say this, seeing Pinkie’s eyes show that she can recognize how you feel.

“Yeah, I love fanfictions! Especially this one.” She says, looking at you and grinning, the lack of sleep obvious under her eyes. She obviously tried to cover it up with makeup, which she doesn’t need from her natural beauty.

“What?” You say, not understanding what she meant by ‘especially this one’.

She laughs and shakes her head, “You’ll never understand.” You shrug it off and smile at her cute little laugh.

“I suppose we should wait until the first date before we get to know each other really. What time do you get off? Does tonight sound good?” You say to her, glancing at her hand still touching yours, your hand building a sweat under hers.

“We can’t tonight. I have too much to do. Tomorrow? I get off at 6:45 tomorrow.” She says to you taking her hand off of yours and laughs.

“Sounds good.” You agree.

“Okey Dokey Lokey!” She says, giggling. Standing, you match her height, being equally as tall as her. Looking into her eyes, you get lost in them yet again. Before you know it you are hugging Pinkie, your arms wrapped lightly around her. Her hair smelling of cotton candy. Pinkie pulls away and you do the same. Grinning, you begin to walk toward the door, and step outside, letting the darkness envelope you. Looking up at the moon, your grin widens as you see the face of the Mare in the Moon staring you in the face. Hmph, maybe your sanity is slipping.

That’s besides the point, ‘I have a date tomorrow!’ You think to yourself. Hopefully this time it will actually happen.