Can You Spare A Dime?

by yodajax10

Rating: everyone
Tags: Crossover, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Other, Spike, Comedy
Length: 2865

Squidward starts driving Twilight and Spik to a T!

Based off the classic SpongeBob episode as well as the SpongeBob/MLP fanfics by Ultimauser50.

Squidward quits his job at the Krusty Krab after being accused of stealing Mr. Krabs' first dime. As time passes by, Squidward becomes homeless, but Spike allows him to live with him and Twilight. But when Squidward starts to become spoiled, Twilight is starting to lose her patience on how he treats her and Spike.

Published 2013-09-11 02:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-09-11 02:00:01 UTC

Can You Spare A Dime?

"Once upon a time, in the faraway land of...No, farther...farther...perfect. Once upon a time, in the faraway land of Bikini Equestria, everybody, ponies and sea creatures lived together in harmony. But that doesn't all of them do."

In the Krusty Krab, everyone working there was cleaning up for the night.

Mr. Krabs was counting his change, "51, 52, 53..."

Squidward Tentacles was counting the suction cups on his tentacles, "29, 30, 31..."

And SpongeBob Squarepants and Pinkie Pie were counting the times they mopped. "1-2-3! 1-2-3! 1-2-3!"

Squidward then walked over to Mr. Krabs. "Mr. Krabs, can we please go now?"

"Hmm," said Mr. Krabs. "Perhaps, one of our more loyal workers can enlighten you on company policy."

SpongeBob then spoke up. "The Krusty Krab Employee Manual; 2nd Revised Edition; Page 35; Section 19; Clause 3a, states: All staff must remain on the premises until the days receipts are fully accounted for."

"But that's not fair!" said Squidward.

" Clause 3b: The provider reserves the right to be unfair." Pinkie Pie spoke.

"Teahcer's pests." Squidward mumbled.

Mr. Krabs then went back to the register. "Let's see," He said. "5, 10, 25, blue, applesauce. Everything looks to be in order...except..." Mr. Krabs then gasped. "Where is it?!" Mr. Krabs said as he began frantically searching. "Where is it?!"

"Where's what?" said Squidward.

"My dime!" said Mr. Krabs. "Me special dime! The first dime I ever made! I always keep it in the back of the register for luck!"

"Well, I haven't seen it." said Squidward.

"Hmm," said Mr. Krabs. "Are you prepared to say that with your hand on top of a stack of interpretive dance quarterlies?"

"Oh course I'm..." Squidward then realized. "What are you saying?"

"Me?" said Mr. Krabs, innocently. "I ain't saying nothing that would matter to anyone who would be able to take a lie detector test!"

"You're saying something!" Squidward snapped, angrily.

"Heavens to Betsy, no." said Mr. Krabs. "It's just that me lucky dime's gone missin', and you've been working the register all day!"

"Are you accusing me of something?!" Squidward asked, getting really peeved.

"Well, the way I see it there are three possibilities: One, you stole it; Two, Ya stole it; Or three, YOU STOLE IT!" Mr. Krabs shouted.

"I did not steal your [precious dime!" said Squidward.

"Show me your tentacles!" said Mr. Krabs.

"What?!" said Squidward.

"I want to see every suction cup!" Mr. Krabs said, looking at his tentacles.

Squidward then had it. He then squeezed Mr. Krab's eyes a few times. "HERE! HERE! HERE! See 'em?!"

Squidward stormed off as Mr. Krabs stood there speechless. "You-you can't do that to me! I'm your boss!" said Mr. Krabs.

"Not anymore, Mr. Krabs! I QUIT!" Squidward then threw his hat in the air and stormed out.

"No!" said Pinkie Pie. She quickly grabbed a pillow for the hat to land on and sighed in relief. But SpongeBob followed Squidward.

"Squidward!" said SpongeBob. "Squidward, wait! You're making a big mistake!"

"Mistake? Ha!" Squidward snapped. "The only mistake I ever made was wasting my life at the Krusty Krab!"

"But a visit to the Krusty Krab makes everyone happy. And what could be better than serving up smiles?" SpongeBob then smiled really big.

"Being dead or anything else!" said Squidward.

"I never knew you felt so strongly about this." said SpongeBob.

"Where have you been?" said Squidward.

"Well, I guess I can't stop you." said SpongeBob. "But Squidward, it's a cold, cold world out there. No one's going to serve you happiness on a silver platter."

Applejack then appeared with apples on a platter.

"Free sample?" Applejack asked.

"Sure!" said SpongeBob as he took an apple.

"Can I have one-" Squidward tried to say, but Applejack was already gone.

"Anyways," said SpongeBob. " I just want you to know, if you ever get in trouble come find any of us. We'll take care of you. Like Applejack over there who took in Jiminy Cricket, I'm sure she'll do the same for you. And of course, I'd do the same. 'Cause you and me..." said SpongeBob as he pulled Squidward close to him. "We're like brothers...only closer." SpongeBob lifted Squidward's shirt and their hearts were joined together beating. Squidward screamed in horror, and separated them.

"SpongeBob, I don't need your help. I am ready to unlock my potential. I could be anything I set my mind to." said Squidward as he imagined himself doing many things. "I could be a football player, or a king, or a spaceman."

"Or a football playing king in space!" said SpongeBob. "With a mustache!"

"Yeah...uh-huh." said Squidward, un-amused. "Ya know, that reminds me, there's been something I've been wanting to say to you since the day we met... Goodbye. Next time you see me, this town will be eating out of the palm of my hands!"

A while has passed and Squidward became homeless. Right now, he was in an alley trying to get change. "Spare change?" Squidward would ask. "Spare change, ma'am?"

"Squidward?" said a voice. Squidward looked and saw it was Spike, the dragon assistant of Twilight Sparkle. "Squidward, is that you?"

"Uh, I, uh..." Squidward tried to say. Squidward then hid in his box and closed it, but Spike opened it up.

"You know me!" said Spike. "I'm Twilight Sparkle's assistant!"

"Sp-spike?" said Squidward.

"That's right!" said Spike. "SpongeBob told us what happened between you and Mr. Krabs. So where are you living these days?"

Then, a nearby fish walked up to Squidward.

"Squidward Tentacles?" He asked.

"Yes?" said Squidward.

"Sign here, please." said the fish, pulling out a paper. Squidward signed it and the fish took away his box.

Squidward sighed. "Nowhere."

"Great!" said Spike. "So what are you doing with yourself? I think SpongeBob said you were sure to be...a football player!"

"No." said Squidward.

"A spaceman!" said Spike

"No!" said Squidward.

"A football playing king in spa-" Spike started to say.

"NO! DON'T YOU GET IT?! I'M A LOSER!!!!" Squidward, said started to sob. "I lost my job, my home, EVERYTHING!"

"Whoa," said Spike. "Even your paintings?"

"No one wanted them, so I had to EAT THEM!" Squidward said, showing his rectangular shaped-stomach. Squidward continued to sob until Spike started to comfort him.

"Hey, it's okay, Squid buddy." said Spike. "You can live with me and Twiight!"

Spike took Squidward home and explained everything to Twilight Sparkle. Twilight felt bad for Squidward and agreed with Spike that he'd stay with them.

"Here, you go, Squidward!" said Twilight, happily. "You can sleep in my bed."

"Okay," said Squidward. "But just until I get a job. One day...two days tops."

"Don't worry, Squidward." said Twilight as she turned off the lights and left downstairs with Spike. "You stay as long as you need to. Goodnight!"

Squidward opened his eyes the next morning and saw Twilight and Spike were there waiting for him as they had a big breakfast for him.

"Good morning, Squidward." said Twilight. "I hope you're hungry."

"You're gonna need to build up your strength again so we laid out a big buffet for you." said Spike.

"In bed too? Aw, thanks, guys." said Squidward. "It's awfully nice of you to take care of me in my time of need. I'll try not to be a burden."

"It's no trouble." said Spike.

"So is there anything else we can do for you?" said Twilight.

"No, no, no. You've already...well," said Squidward.

(Cue imaginary montage of Twilight and Spike helping Squidward and play the music below)

"Dear Princess Celestia," Spike wrote on his letter. "We've learned that you should learn to love your neighbors like Squidward, and always know the door will be open for one more."

Spike sent the letter to the princess in flames and got ready to sleep in the recliner.

"I think what you did for Squidward was very thoughtful, Spike." said Twilight, smiling.

"Thanks," said Spike as Twilight tucked him in. "But nurturing a broken spirit is a lot of work, I'm sure bushed. But it still feels nice to do good."

"That's the spirit," said Twilight as she then kissed Spike on the forehead and went over to the couch to sleep. "Goodnight, Spike."

"Goodnight, Twi." said Spike.

They were about to go to sleep until...

"Excuse me?" Squidward called. "Can I have a glass of water?"

"I got this." said Spike. He quickly got a glass of water and ran upstairs to give it to Squidward.

"Here you go!" said Spike.

"Thank you," said Squidward as Spike then went back downstairs. Spike was about to get back in the recliner until...

"Spike! Can I have some more blankets?" Squidward called.

Twilight looked concerned as Spike got up and got more blankets for Squidward.

"Here you go!" said Spike.

"Thank you," said Squidward as Spike went back downstairs. Spike was about to get back in the recliner until...

"Spike! You forgot to turn off the light!" Squidward called.

Twilight then looked annoyed as Spike went back upstairs to turn off Squidward's light. She didn't like how Squidward was treating Spike.

"Goodnight!" said Spike. He then started to trip down the stairs, but Twilight called him in time.

"You alright, Spike?" said Twilight.

"Yeah," said Spike, exhausted.

"Don't worry, Spike." said Twilight. "I'm sure Squidward will get back on his feet soon."

"Three weeks later,"

"Don't worry, Spike." said Twilight as she and Spike walked downstairs from serving Squidward. "He's just having a hard time getting his confidence back."

"Many months later,"

"Don't worry, Spike." said Twilight now with bags under her eyes, along with Spike walked downstairs from serving Squidward. "I'm sure he's close to a breakthrough."

"So much later that the old narrator got tired of waiting and they had to hire a new one."

Twilight walked inside her house. "Spike?" Twilight called. "Is everythi-" Twilight gasped in horror as she saw Spike lying on the ground looking half-dead. "Spike!" Twilight cried as she the cradled Spike in her arms and started to fan him.

"Huh?" Spike said, waking up. "What happened?"

"That's it!" said Twilight. "Squidward's been working us too hard now for long enough!"

"SPIKE!" Squidward yelled from upstairs. "WHERE'S MY LEMONADE?!"

Spike was about to go, but Twilight stopped him. "You stay here and rest." said Twilight. "I'll get him his lemonade..."

Twilight got the lemonade and saw Squidward looking furious when she got upstairs.

"It's about time someone got here!" Squidward yelled.

"Here you go, your majesty." Twilight said, sarcastically.

"I can't drink that!" Squidward snapped.

"Why not?" asked Twilight.

"Are you blind?!" Squidward said. "Just look at it!"

Twilight looked at the lemonade. "What about it?" Twilight asked, getting annoyed.

"There are three seeds in it! THAT'S AN ODD NUMBER!" Squidward shouted. "I can't eat anything odd-numbered!"

"Fine! I'll just take it out!" Twilight said angrily.

"NO! NO!" Squidward yelled. "It's already been contaminated by the bad lemon! It won't work!"

Twilight raised an eyebrow. "Hmm," said Twilight. "That's two things in this house that won't...work."

"Then go fix them!" Squidward snapped.

Twilight's body shook with anger as she threw down the glass. "Two things that WON'T WORK!" Twilight said, frustrated.

"I changed my mind!" said Squidward. "I want soup instead!"

"Okay!" Twilight said. "Don't move!"

Twilight then stomped downstairs. She got back upstairs, looking happy as she had soup. "Here you go!" said Twilight. "It's Alphabet soup! I made it special." Twilight growled at the last part.

Squidward saw the soup said 'GET A JOB'. Squidward screamed and brushed the soup away. "Condensed soup from a can? Disgusting! Now you've ruined my appetite. Go fetch me something to read." Squidward ordered.

"Oh, okay! How about this?!" Twilight pulled out the newspaper that said 'JOB LISTINGS'.

Squidward gasped as he smacked the newspaper from Twilight hooves. "Get that away from me!" You know I'm allergic to newsprint!"

Twilight giggled a little. "You know," Twilight said. "The way you smacked the newspaper from my hooves reminded me of what Rarity did...at her JOB!" Twilight yelled in front of Squidward.

Squidward's watch beeped. "4:00! Time for my stories!" said Squidward. "Come on! They won't hold the show while you laze around!"

Twilight stubbornly got a TV out and gave the remote to Squidward. Squidward turned it on and saw a fish puppet going to work and a pony puppet seeing him. He didn't notice this puppet show was operated by Twilight herself.

"Hey, where are you going?" said the pony puppet.

"To my job!" said the fish puppet.

"You have a job?" asked the pony puppet.

"Why wouldn't I?" said the fish puppet. "I'm not some lazy, inconsiderate jerk who lays in bed all day!"

"Say, where can I find one of these jobs?" said the pony puppet.

"Oh, they're everywhere!" said the fish puppet. "Especially when you're green and have six tentacles."

"Thanks!" said the pony puppet, as Twilight started to mad. "I'm gonna go look for one so I can stop MOOCHING OFF MY FRIENDS AND THEY CAN GET BACK TO THEIR LIVES!"

"This isn't my show!" Squidward said, angrily. "Twilight, the remote control's broken! Get over here and fix it!"

"I've got a BETTER idea!" Twilight said, pushing the TV away and jumping on the bed and facing Squidward. "Why don't I call someone who's JOB it is to fix it?! You know why?! Because when I need a JOB done, I get someone with a JOB to DO that JOB!!!!"

When Twilight finished talking, Squidward narrowed his eyes. "What are you saying?" said Squidward.

That did it. Twilight's skin turned white and her mane and tail shot up in flames in less then a second. She screamed angrily as she jumped out the window with Squidward on her bed and began pushing the bed to the Krusty Krab.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUGH!"

"Donate to the children's fund?" said Mr. Krabs on the phone. "Why? What have children ever done for me?"

Twilight then burst in Mr. Krab's office still very angry and on fire.

"Ms. Sparkle?" said Mr. Krabs. "What an unexpec-"

"You want your dime back?!" said Twilight, throwing a dime at him. "TAKE IT! Now Squidward can work here again, right?!"

Mr. Krabs looked at the dime closely. "Wrong!" Mr. Krabs said. "That ain't me first dime!"

"Then have some more dimes!" said Twilight. "Take them! I've got plenty of them!"

"You can't put a price on me first dime," said Mr. Krabs. "And I can't forgive that thieving bildrad, Squidward for stealing it!"

Twilight had now just about had it. The whiteness in Twilight's fur was now gone, as her skin and the fire on her was now blazing red. Twilight grabbed Mr. Krabs and held him in the air.

"LISTEN YOU CRUSTACEOUS CHEAPSKATE!" Twilight screamed. "SQUIDWARD HAS BEEN LIVING WITH ME AND SPIKE FOR MONTHS NOW! AND THE WAY HE'S TREATING US IS DRIVING ME CRAZY! AND YOU'RE SERIOUSLY NOT GONNA HIRE HIM BACK ALL BECAUSE OF A STUPID DIME?!!!!"

Twilight shook Mr. Krabs violently until something huge dropped from Mr. Krabs' pants. Twilight's color returned to normal. "What's that?" Twilight asked, calmed down.

Mr. Krabs gasped in happiness. "Me first dime!" Mr. Krabs hugged his huge, prehistoric dime. "Oh, dimey! I'll never lose ya again!"

"This is a dime?" said Twilight.

"I've been in business a long time." said Mr. Krabs.

"So...that means Squidward can work here again?" Twilight asked, grinning.

"Aye," said Mr. Krabs. "Just let me and me dime have some privacy."

"YAHOO!" Twilight cheered happily.

Squidward was now back at the Krusty Krab. "Well, Squidward, It's good to have ya back!" said SpongeBob.

"It's good to be back, sir." said Squidward, smiling.

"It's all under the bridge now," said Mr. Krabs.

"I agree, sir." said Squidward.

Twilight and Spike were watching what was going on, also smiling.

"Squidward," said Twilight. "Do you mind writing to Princess Celestia and telling her what you've learned?"

"I'd be happy too." said Squidward.

Spike began to write as Squidward spoke.

"Dear Princess Celestia, I've learned that no matter what we go through, we just need to forgive and forget."

"That's right!" said Mr. Krabs. "And I'm sure ya didn't mean to misplace me dime."

"That's right, and-" Squidward stopped and glared at Mr. Krabs. "What are you saying?"

"I mean it's obvious you put the dime in me pants." said Mr. Krabs, shrugging. "Dimes don't fly in people's pockets!"

"Are you accusing me of something?!" Squidward snapped. As Squidward and Mr. Krabs continued arguing. Twilight began hitting her head on the wall and Spike just ripped up the letter. "Here we go again," Spike mumbled.

"Well, the way I see it there are three possibilities," said Mr. Krabs. "One, you put the dime in me pants; Two, ya put the dime in me pants; or Three, YOU PUT THE DIME IN ME PANTS!!"

THE END

Cast:

Tara Strong: Twilight Sparkle
Tom Kenny: SpongeBob Squarepants
Cathy Weseluck: Spike
Ashleigh Ball: Applejack
Roger Bumpass: Squidward Tentacles
Andrea Libman: Pinkie Pie
Clancy Brown: Mr. Krabs
Jim Cummings (In his Sterling Holloway voice): Narrator
James Earl Jones: Second Narrator
Dee Bradley Baker: Business Fish