You know, I’ve always sort of liked stories. Reading or writing them, they’re a way to escape from the world. Stories allow our imaginations to run wild, and fill us with emotion. They can be huge, sprawling adventures, or a simple tale about a mare and her walk home from work. You can always tell when a book is good, because it stirs something deep down inside you, and makes you think. That’s what she always used to say. It was one of the many things that the two of us actually agreed on.
I’ve always fancied myself a storyteller of sorts. After all, I lived in a library for my whole life. There’s really not any way that you can grow up around books and not eventually learn to love them, especially when your adoptive mother loves them so much. I’ve always wanted to try my hand at my own story… I suppose that’s what I’m doing now in a way. I’m telling a story. That’s one thing that we never agreed on. Is a story about somepony’s life really a story at all? Can it be considered a ‘story’ when everything contained within it is covered in truth?
Twilight didn’t think so. She always used to say that it wasn’t a story, but an autobiography, as the word ‘story’ implied the inclusion of fiction into a work. Me though? I think it’s in the way you tell it. If you can pull the reader in, then why can’t it be a story? Why can’t it be just as full of adventure and sadness and emotion as any other story? That’s why you’re reading this, right? That’s why I’m writing it. To tell you the story of my life. And what a story it is. I guess I should start from the beginning then. That’s how all the good ones do it, at least…
I don’t really remember much from when I was a really little dragon. Same with all children I suppose; your early years just fly on by, and you can never remember them. The others though… the ones you grew up with? They never let you live it down. The ponies around you always talk about how cute you were and all of the silly little things you used to do. Me? I don’t remember it of course, but apparently I used to be quite the rambunctious little rascal.
Dragon children are a lot harder to take care of than pony children, you see. Considering that babies love to run around and experiment, and dragons can breathe fire… Let’s just say that there were plenty of bills to be paid and property damage charges filed. Luckily, Twilight was close to Princess Celestia, so she could get away with keeping a dragon in the Canterlot castle. It was a weird feeling, living in a castle… Twilight… That’s the name of my mother, by the way. Well, she was my adoptive mother at least.
I never really got to know my real mother. They say that dragons take great care of their young, and that they’ll protect their eggs no matter what. Unless they can sense that the hatchling is different. Unless they can sense that it won’t do well in life. I was one of those hatchlings. After all, you don’t often see a dragon without any sort of wings, do you? Not often, at least. Twilight told me that Princess Celestia found my egg, abandoned out in the mountains east of Canterlot. What she was doing out in those mountains, I’ll never know, but I’m glad she found me. I never needed to know who my biological mother was. Twilight was the best mother I could have ever asked for.
It was a strange childhood, growing up in Canterlot with a filly who was only a few years older than you for a mother. She was only nine when she hatched me during her magic test. That was one of the only tests ever performed where the filly taking the exam had needed to hatch a dragon egg, as I would later find out through my frequent talks with Celestia later in life. Dragon eggs weren’t exact an easy resource to come by, as dragons are fiercely territorial creatures. I think Celestia knew what both of us would become one day. Come to think of it… I don’t think that she ever actually told Twilight how special her magic test had been. I suppose everyone needs to keep secrets after all. Even a princess.
Being that she was only nine years old and studying as a full time student, Twilight had the burden of a teenage mother without the hassle of early pregnancy. I’m surprised that she was able to balance her school work with taking care of me. It’s funny, you know? The things we take for granted, only to realize what they really meant years later and often too late. At the time, all I ever did was run around and ask her to play with me, not really thinking about all of the work she had to do. But I realize it now, how great of a mother she was. She never really complained. Even as a filly, she understood things that few adults ever do. Even now, I’m only just beginning to understand…
Most of my early years in Canterlot with her were spent helping her organize things, and keeping her company since her family couldn’t visit her often. In many ways, I was just as much her best friend as I was her adoptive son. I guess you could say that I was sort of a ‘librarian’s assistant’ to her. Heh… Oh, Twilight would probably kill me for that pun if she were here now. She would spend her time studying, and I would help her organize her room and take notes. Sometimes I’d snatch some of the books that she didn’t need that day for school out of her saddlebag and study up on what I could. Most of them were pretty complicated and hard for a dragon like me to understand at such a young age, but I still did my best to read up.
A son is supposed to help his mother after all, and since I didn’t have anything else to do, I would do this. That way, whenever she wanted to talk about something, or needed a study buddy, I could be right there to help her. Well, I tried to help her the best I could at least. I wasn’t very sneaky or masterful at hiding back then, so Twilight would often catch me having stolen the books from her bag and scold me. I think she was just trying to impose a set of morals on me though. I could tell that she was grateful to have somepony to help her through this part of her life. Like all normal kids though, I would get into trouble a lot.
I remember this one time, I accidentally burned one of Twilight’s homework papers to a crisp. I spent the whole day trying to recreate the assignment, just so that she wouldn’t notice and be angry at me. When she got back from school that day, I hadn’t finished the assignment, so I hid in the closet with the half finished paper. I remember her calling out my name, looking all over for me before finally opening the closet and finding me, quivering and clutching the botched assignment.
“Spike? What are you doing in the closet? You know dragons don’t wear clothes, silly!” Twilight had giggled. I just refused to say anything, clutching the paper behind my back and sweating nervously. Crazy things run through a child’s mind when they’re on the verge of getting in trouble. What if she hates me? What if she kicks me out? What if she asks Celestia to banish me?! They weren’t very sensible fears, but children often have a way of putting things way out of perspective. “Spike? What’s that behind your back?”
I remember the scolding look in her eye as she leaned towards me. Even as a filly, she could have a commanding motherly presence when she needed to. “Spike… Why do you look guilty? What did you do? You know that you’ll get in less trouble if you just tell the truth. Did you accidentally burp on the curtains again? You know how many times I’ve told you to stay away from flammable things when you’re feeling gassy!”
“I… I, uh… Nothing! Nothing’s wrong Twilight!” Even I knew that I wasn’t fooling anypony with my little charade. I remember her scrutinizing gaze as she observed my every feature. She knew that I was lying to her, I could just tell it. My heart lept harder than a mad rabbit as she walked over to her extra saddlebag lying in the corner, beginning to search through it. “No! Uh… Don’t go in your backpack! There are… cockroaches!”
“Spike, don’t be ridiculous. We both know that there are no cockroaches in here! What is it that you don’t want me to see? Did you take one of my books again?” She began to nose through the backpack, and I could feel my heart beating like a wild drum, faster and faster. “Spike… Where is my assignment? My assignment for class tomorrow. Where is it?” Her tone was calm and even, but I could hear the anger behind it. I handed her my half completed, sloppy notes and sighed.
“I’m sorry, Twilight! I was just trying to help, honest!” The shame was burning on my face as her gaze stared into me. “I… accidentally burned your homework. I was just trying to help… And then I tried to do it over before you got home, so you wouldn’t notice, but I didn’t finish. I’m sorry, Twilight…” My shoulders slumped, sadness filling my heart. I didn’t like getting in trouble, because it meant that those dreaded words would be coming very soon.
“Spike. I’m very disappointed in you. I’ve told you plenty of times to stay away from my school things! I appreciate that you’re trying to help me, but sometimes you just have to take a step back and let me do it myself, okay?” She sighed deeply, looking at the half finished assignment that she now had. “Well… At least you tried to fix it, even if it was so that I wouldn’t notice. Still, you’re in big trouble young drake. You’re going to bed at eight o’clock for the next three weeks. And you’re grounded.”
I frowned and nodded my head knowing that I had done wrong. What happened next surprised both of us. We heard a steady, rhythmic knocking on the the door. Anxious to move and get out of my depressive state, I went and opened the door, only to come face to face with Princess Celestia. She was carrying a piece of parchment paper in her magic and smiling slightly.
“Twilight Sparkle. I appreciate your dedication and willingness to turn in assignments early, but there’s no need for you to send them directly to me. I’m sure that your professor will be looking forward to reading your detailed report on the basics of teleportation tomorrow in class, yes?” She handed the paper back to a slack-jawed Twilight Sparkle, giggling slightly.
That was the day that I first discovered that I could breathe fire on certain things to send them as a form of instant message. You wouldn’t believe how useful it was to be able to send a letter instantly, instead of having to wait days for postal delivery, or hours for teleportation. It made life a whole lot easier, and it meant that Twilight could talk to her parents and Celestia much more often. She still had to wait awhile for her parent's letters to arrive, though.
Things continued on in our ordinary routine for a while. I was getting older. I was learning more, and starting to make friends of my own. As I grew older though, I noticed that Twilight wasn’t really making any friends. She was just staying the same old studious filly she’d always been, while everypony was growing and becoming more social around her. She was lonely and I knew it; I was her closest and only friend after all. For years I tried to get her to talk to ponies, trying to coax her to come to parties or hang out with some of my friends, but she always declined.
Celestia… She must have been so lonely. Her own son was more popular than she was. She tried to never show it to anypony. That was why I was so excited when Princess Celestia gave her a new assignment as her star pupil: to go to Ponyville and make a few friends. I’m so glad that Twilight decided to obey her order. That changed both of our lives for the better. That was where we came to meet the greatest friends that we would ever have for the rest of our lives.
Their names were Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Fluttershy, and Rarity. Pinkie Pie was a peppy, cheery party animal, Rainbow Dash was a competitive athlete and professional prankster, Applejack was a hardworking farmer, and Fluttershy was just a kind mare that loved animals. Rarity though… Oh Celestia, I could fill an entire book with how I felt about that mare. From the moment I saw her, I had a huge crush on her.
She was the most beautiful, thoughtful, and caring mare that I had ever seen. Every time I was around her, I felt butterflies fluttering in my stomach, and my heart beating against my chest like an angry animal seeking to be let out. The way her mane flowed, her generosity… Everything about her was perfect. I was young at the time, so it was understandable that I’d have a sort of puppy crush on her. She was an extremely attractive mare after all…
Anyway, Twilight and I made new friends in Ponyville that we’d never forget. Naturally, with Twilight and our new friends being the Elements of Harmony, we went on plenty of adventures and stopped countless evils. We were heroes. No doubt all of our exploits were recorded in the history books, and stored in the archives of some ancient library full of tales of courage, bravery and sacrifice. They were heroes, but they were my friends. I’m surprised that none of them ever tried to treat me like I was below them after the fame and popularity they had gained. I guess it still serves as a testament to their character.
They even let me play the hero once, at the Crystal Kingdom. I remember running with the Crystal Heart, with my own heart rocketing out of my chest. The world was on my shoulders and I knew that if I failed, then the world as we knew it would be over. It was probably one of the most terrifying experiences of my entire life. I had always thought that it would be cool to be the hero for once, and to have the spotlight on me. All it did was terrify me, and make me want to curl up inside myself. If there’s one thing that I can say about those mares, it’s that they had a deep resolve.
Only now have I begun to realize what they must have had to go through every day. The spotlight on them and the whole world resting on their shoulders, knowing that they had to succeed. It must have been so hard for them, with the extra stress that it added on their lives, but they never showed it… There was a reason that Celestia chose them after all. They were the pinnacle, the definition of friendship and sacrifice… Eventually though, Equestria no longer needed the Elements of Harmony. Not in the context that they were once needed at least.
It was then that I decided to take my chance with Rarity. I’d had a crush on her for years, and the feeling had just been burning inside of me, threatening to make me explode. Everypony else knew that I had a huge crush on her, but she didn’t appear to be wise to the situation. I was a lot older then, about twenty years old, so I was a lot braver as well. Nearly a decade or more… Such a long time to hold a feeling like that in for. Then again, dragons live for a long time, so maybe it was like a few years for a normal pony.
I remember walking into her shop that day, tuxedo on and roses in hand. Everypony knew what I was setting out to do that day. They all hid in the alleys and peeked through windows, watching with complete interest as I knocked on the door. I was particularly nervous. I remember adjusting the collar of my tuxedo quite a bit that day. Still, I put on my best smile, trying to hide the feeling of dread that I was feeling deep down inside.
Rarity had answered the door, smiling sweetly as she always did, and fluttering those eyelashes of hers. “Spike? Why, please come in!” I practically floated through the doorway as she stepped aside, the feeling in the pit of my stomach steadily increasing. There were already flowers on the table when I got there. I had tried to push the thought into the back of my mind, but I couldn’t help myself. She’s already seeing somepony else…
“Hey, uh, Rarity? I-I needed to talk to you about something.” I adjusted the collar of my tuxedo nervously as she looked at me with that same disarming smile.
“I need to talk to you about something as well, Spike.” I simply nodded and sat down, trying to put on a brave face.
“R-rarity… I just… I feel like I need to say this to you. I’ve sort of had a crush on you for the longest time. Since we first met actually, I’ve thought that you were the most amazing mare that I’d ever seen. You’re beautiful, smart, funny, generous, and just all around great. And I was wondering…” I said as I passed her the flowers. “I was wondering whether you might want to go with me on a date sometime?” Same smile, but now with a hint of sadness behind it.
“Spike… There’s something I need to tell you. I’m already seeing somepony. I thought that after some time, your crush would just… fade away. But it didn’t. I’m so sorry, Spike. I really never meant to put you into this situation. I can understand if you hate me…” Rarity now had a slight frown on her face, though it looked like there was a deep sadness and pain in her eyes.
“You knew the whole time, and you didn’t say anything?” I was simply dumbfounded. I didn’t know how to react as I just sat there blinking.
“Yes. I did. I’m sorry for not letting you know sooner, I just…”
“You didn’t want to crush me. I understand.” I stood up and simply shook my head, turning to leave. “Don’t worry, Rarity. I don’t hate you. I’m not even angry. I’m just thankful that you let me know.”
With that, I left the Carousel Boutique and made my way back to my home at the Ponyville Library. All along the way, I got silent looks and curious stares, begging me to answer the question of what had happened. I didn’t feel like it though. I just went straight to my bed and laid down, never feeling like leaving it again. For a while, I just sat there, quietly chastising and crying to myself. I hurt. It really hurt. It was like nothing I’d ever experienced, as if Big Mac had gotten angry and bucked me with all of his might, though aimed directly at my heart.
I should have known though. I should have known, being the awesome mother that she was, that Twilight would be right there, waiting to support me if I had failed. At first, I didn’t notice the lavender hue surrounding me. I only noticed that she was there when she lifted me up, put me on my feet, and trotted over to hug me. Neither of us said anything for a long while. Instead, we just chose a silent understanding, and we stood there, hugging for a while. I could tell that it was tearing her up inside to see me so sad. I’ll never forget the words that she said to me next.
Twilight looked right at me, her eyes shining with sadness, but also pride. “Spike. Listen to me. This is not the end of the world, and it’s not your fault either. Sometimes things don’t go the way you planned them to, but when those things happen, you have to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and push forward.” She lifted my head up and tried to turn the corners of my mouth into a smile. This made me smirk, as normally Pinkie would be the one trying to do this.
“You may not be meant to be with Rarity right now, but I know that you’ll find your special somepony one day, Spike. You’re a great dragon, and you’re everything that a pony could ever hope for. You’re smart, hard working, loyal to your friends, and very gentlecoltly. You just have to pick yourself up and keep on trying.” I was feeling a little less sad at this point, smiling a bit even. It had only been a crush after all. A long held one, but still, it wasn’t the end of the world. “How about we go down to Sugarcube Corner and get something to eat? I heard Pinkie’s developed a new muffin recipe!”
I still felt kind of sad for a few weeks after that, but I quickly got over it. After that, days flew by, then weeks, and then even years. I had made up with Rarity a long time ago. Now, everypony had begun to go their separate ways. Rainbow had finally moved on to the Wonderbolts, Rarity had taken her now professional line of tailoring and clothing to Canterlot, Fluttershy had opened a clinic in Canterlot to help sick and injured animals, and Pinkie Pie had opened up her own franchise and spread out all over Equestria. The only ones who had stayed in Ponyville were Twilight, Applejack and I; Twilight because she had her job as librarian, Applejack because of her connection to the land, and me because I was afraid to leave.
Everypony eventually settled down and made their dreams come true. They had families, foals, and made new friends, but we always met up every year as a sort of reunion. They say that time really flies when you start to mature, especially if you’re a species that lives longer like I am. I never imagined just how true that statement could be. In what seemed like the blink of an eye, decades had passed, and my friends were growing old, while I was just beginning to mature.
I could see it in the way they were walking, the way they looked. Their coats and manes were less vibrant. They walked slower, and eventually, one by one, they began to fade. They say that you always remember the bad things more than the good and that they stand out. They say that you always remember the beginning and ending of things more than the middle. I’m inclined to believe them. After all, I should know…
The first one to go was Pinkie Pie, surprisingly. That’s probably the one that stands by the most. She’d been sick for a long time, and she couldn’t really walk anymore. She had to stay confined in a bed above her bakery in Fillydelphia so that she could be constantly taken care of. That was something that Pinkie Pie hated. Being forced to stop moving… To be tied down by illness and unable to bring happiness to others. We all showed up when we heard how bad her condition had gotten, even though some of the girls were in almost as bad a shape as she was.
Pinkie Pie was so happy to see us again, all of her friends gathered by her side and just talking with her. We shared memories for a while, talked about things, and I even played some music for her. She was so happy… I’ll never forget the smile on her face as we just spent her last few days together, just being friends like we had been so long ago. It meant everything to her.
I remember when she felt herself fading, her smile faltered a bit, and she addressed each of us one by one, in private, telling us all how grateful she was to be able to call us friends, and how we’d brought her so much joy. I remember when it was my turn and she had pulled me aside. She looked at me differently than she had at everypony else. Her gaze was full of sadness and sympathy.
“Hey there, Spikey wikey…” Pinkie coughed harshly as she struggled to whisper the words she needed to say. “Here we all are… A family again like we used to be.” She laid back, seeming to think for a moment about what to say before starting again. “I’m so sorry that you have to go through this, Spike. Nopony should ever have to go through that.” I was confused.
“What do you mean, Pinkie?” I asked, frowning harshly. Pinkie had always had a way of understanding things that simply baffled me. She was almost like Twilight in that sense, though her extremely high intelligence wasn’t always so obvious or straightforward. She had a special way of thinking about things that allowed her to see the world through a different point of view…
“I mean… You’re still so young, and we’re all so old… Spikey? You’re going to outlive us all by a long time, there’s no doubt about that. I just need you to know that whatever happens, you’ve been a wonderful friend to all of us… Know that whatever happens and no matter how long you have to go without us, we love you and we always will… You’re a good dragon, Spike. You’re going to live a long and happy life.”
I simply nodded, looking at her and trying to hold my tears in. If anybody were to understand, of course it would be Pinkie. She seemed to be struggling, trying to reach up and get something by her bedside, in the nightstand that lay next to her. I immediately moved forward to help, opening the drawer that she was weakly pointing to and pulling out a small golden locket.
“Yeah… That’s the one. I want you to have it, Spike. Think of it as something to remember us by until we meet again. Go ahead, open it.” Pinkie seemed like she was trying to smile as I opened it, but her coughing and weakness made her body shake and shiver. Inside of the locket was an old picture, slightly frayed with age.It showed all of us in a field together, smiling and having fun together. It seemed like it had been so long ago…
“I-I don’t know if you’ll be able to fit it around your neck, but you should still be able to carry it with you. That way, you’ll never have to be sad, because we’ll always be there with you!” I was crying now, streams of tears trickling down my face. Pinkie took notice and did the first thing that she’d always tried to do whenever anypony was feeling sad. “Don’t feel sad, Spike. It’s not like we’ll never see each other again… Goodbyes are never forever. There only an ‘until next time’! Now, if you could please send the girls in, that would be great. I’m feeling kind of tired, and I think it might be time for me to take a nap after all of this partying…”
I knew what was happening. I hurriedly called the girls back in as we gathered around Pinkie’s bedside, watching her take increasingly labored breaths. “Well girls… Looks like this it. But don’t be sad for me! I know we’ll see each other again really soon! And Spike? You don’t be sad either. I’ll save you a ticket for the after-party! I’ll… I-I’ll even save you the best spot on the dance floor…”
Pinkie Pie stopped moving as she spoke her last words. All of us stopped breathing for a moment before breaking out in quiet sobs and holding each other for comfort. This had been coming for a long time and we all knew it. That didn’t make it any easier for any of us. We all stayed like that for a while, but eventually, as with all things, there comes a time to move on. That’s what we did. After the funeral, we all went back to where we’d come from to spend some quality time with our families.
Next was Rainbow Dash. Died of natural causes in her sleep. I figure it’s what she would have wanted. Then came Fluttershy, Rarity, and Applejack, until finally, only Twilight and I were left. Twilight was fading fast, and I knew it. I had to spend nearly all of my time at the library, helping her to move around and just live. She’d started losing her sight a long time ago, and now, it was finally completely gone.
She had been deprived of the one thing that made her happy. She could no longer study. She could no longer read. I had to do it for her. Suddenly, I was left feeling an emptiness, regretful of all of the time I had spent complaining about her making me organize things or read with her in the past. Now she couldn’t do it anymore, and I had spent all of that time whining. It’s amazing what you don’t realize until you lost it…I remember that fateful day.
Twilight had asked me to read her a story, which I had decided to gladly oblige. She wanted me to read her some of those old Daring Do novels that she and Dash had used to read together all the time. They were only children’s books, but they still meant a lot to her. Who was I to say no?
I read to her for what seemed like hours as she just sat in her rocking chair with her eyes closed, smiling and listening to me, her head bobbing in silent approval every now and then. I don’t know exactly how long it was. I just kept reading and reading, pouring every ounce of my soul into the words so that Twilight could imagine it vividly, like she’d always used to do.
“And then Daring Do put her whip and hat on her coat rack, sitting on her office chair. She’d had enough adventuring for her lifetime.” I remember closing the book with an audible thump and putting it down, turning to Twilight. “How’d you like that, Twilight? I know some of my inflections were a bit off, but…” No response. “Twilight?”
At first glance, she seemed to be merely sleeping with a small smile on her face. I knew what was happening though. My mind nearly shut down as I let the book drop to the floor. I began to weep. Silently and softly, I wept, looking at the happy face of my mother as she laid there in her chair. I walked slowly over to her and hugged her as my heart seemed to drag along the floor.
She was gone. Finally, I was alone. I opened her eyelids to make absolutely certain. I had to be sure… Once I saw them, I was. There was a sort of beautiful peace in her eyes. It was as if in death, she saw more than she had for a long time among the land of the living. I was sad, but at the same time I couldn’t help but be happy for her. She was with our friends now. She was happy again… I put my mother down and immediately contacted Celestia.
A few days later, a large, extravagant royal funeral was held for Celestia’s prized student and beloved friend. Statues were built in their honor at the royal palace, and Luna put up a series of constellations in the night sky to honor them. That was a long time ago.
It’s been centuries now. Ponies have come and gone, and friends have been made, but I’ll never forget the very first friends that I’d had. My best friends… Sometimes when it’s a clear night’s sky, I like to go outside and look at the constellations. I know that Twilight loved the stars. When I look up, I see The Prankster, The Champion, The Farmer, The Healer, The Giver, and The Leader… There they all are, shining brightly in the sky and watching over me. I still bring Pinkie’s locket with me wherever I go too. It helps me to remember sometimes, when I start to forget.
Every year, I visit their tombstones at the royal palace. They now reside in the ‘Hall of Heroes’. It’s the resting place of every incarnation of the Elements of Harmony since those first few friends. They were all great ponies. Friends of mine. I visit them every year to pay them all of the respects they deserve. The strangest part though… The strangest part is that I’m not sad anymore. Over time, I’ve started to realize something.
Every story has a beginning and an end. Some stories last longer than others. At least, that’s what I used to think. Now I know differently though. As long as ponies still read your story… as long as they remember. Then, your story never ends. Because it lives on, and continues through the minds and hearts of other ponies. Life has an end, and every story comes to a close. The most important thing that I’ve realized after all of these years is that stories have volumes. Death isn’t the end of the story. It’s just the ending of volume one.
