What Planet Is This?

Blackness, howling winds and a distinct sound of screaming…

That was the first thing I remembered.

I was falling through a dark void, the wind rushing through my hair.

My voice grew hoarse with all the not-so-manly screaming.

At the end of the void, there was a blinding white light.

A voice echoed from the light sounding like a tv report. “…was found dead in a car accident…”

“Oh that’s just Prime” I grumbled to myself.

As the light slowly drew closer and closer, I simply waited for a swift end.

“so basically, I’m dead… and this is the road to hell?” I asked rhetorically.

“Kinda,” a voice echoed through a now blinding white enclosure.

The white was making my eyes hurt. “That body is a construct, replacing you three seconds before your estimated time of death” the voice continued.

“Erm… Mr Freeman? Could you turn down the brightness levels please?”

Within moments, Morgan Freeman stood in front of me, smiling away.

“How’s this?”

“Much better, thanks”

“Before you ask, technically you are dead… but just in a different plane of existence”

“Inter-dimensional travel?”

“Pretty much” Morgan Freeman replied with a slight chuckle.

“So… you’re god?”

“Define god… I’m really just a viewer”

I looked at him up and down for a moment. “Let me guess, I’ve been chosen to hop from dimension to dimension, solving problems like a second rate Superman or Sherlock?”

“Kinda, you’re going to be…well… ahh screw it” he chuckled again.

He ushered me to a lone door which materialized out of nowhere.

“Go on now, it’ll be safe” he began to laugh at a hidden joke… or perhaps a prank.

I opened the door, “no way…. No way” I was pushed.

I began to plummet to the surface.

“This is going to suck” were the only words that could escape my mouth.

Did I forget to mention I don’t like heights?

with the everpresent danger of crashing down to the surface below, i panicked.

i endlessly tried to flap my arms like wings, but to no avail... it didnt work.

i then crossed my arms, thinking of any other way to move. i noticed the waterfall in a forest.

it was my only option. i began to swim in midair, getting my trajectory sorted out.

after a while, i decided to throw caution to the wind.

i spread my arms out, accepting the fact that whatever happens, happens.

i hit the water, pain spread throughout my body.

i swam to the surface but was quickly thrown out of the river via waterfall.

landing in the water for the second time, i clambered up the river bed.

the calmness of the running water set my mind at ease.

there wasnt alot i could do except climb a tree and get comfortable.

looking up at the night sky, i heard a roar.

"well...thank you very much Morgan" i huffed.

i jumped down and hid in a bush.

the forest itself was teeming with life, nocturnal creatures came out to play...or more specifically, hunt.

i was in major trouble. with nothing to protect me, i simply stayed still.

all until a bizarre looking creature came sniffing at the bush i was in. i looked over the creature,

it had a lions body... but a scorpion's tail.. complete with stinger.

i had a slight lapse of judgement.

i ran out of the bush shouting "OHSWEETMERCIFUCK" i tripped over a root, landing face first into mud.

it wasnt going to be my week. i thought back...

what would bear ghryls do?... oh wait.... drink his own piss i thought.

it was lucky that i had seen this creature before, after watching an episode of My Little Pony...

yeah, i know, it sounds silly doesnt it, but when you think about it...

it's been a few days since i watched the latest episode. but never the less, i should really concentrate on the matter at hand... like figuring out where the hell i was... and what the hell was chasing me.... and how to get rid of it.

i finally realized what it was...

"FUCKING MANTICORE!!!" i ran as fast as my legs could carry me.

problem was... my legs carried me deeper into the jungle.

i ran to the ruins of a castle, but i was backed up against a wall.

"no way... not dying here, after all that running" i was out of breath.

the manticore drew closer, i stood up.

i looked around for something to use as a makeshift weapon.

oddly enough, there was a 6ft long wooden pole leaning against the wall. "that's bloody conveniant"

i quickly rolled out of the way, avoiding swipes from claws.

"no need to rush" i stood up and assumed a position.

i began to put up a fight.

the manticore swiped at me again, i simply thwacked its paws. "bad kitty"

it raised its stinger, roaring once again. it brought its stinger down to strike me, i simply twirled the staff around.

catching its poison sting in the wood. it whimpered as i yanked its stinging tip from it's tail, leaving a sharp point embedded into the pole.

"now bugger off" i huffed, again, still out of breath. now i know how the doctor's companions felt.

it fled. i then wandered back to the wall.

i slumped down against the wall and attempted to fall asleep.

not long after, i was nudged awake by a pair of pink hooves. i grunted as i stood up, still grasping the pole in my hands.

"huh?" i looked in confusion.

i looked at the Zebra stripped woman in a hooded cloak, standing in front of me. i kept quiet. i somehow recognized her from a certain show.

i sighed, upon seeing a fearful yet questioning face. i leant on the pole for extra support. looks like i'm not in Kansas anymore

they watched as i scratched the back of my head, while in deep thought.

i finally plucked up the courage.

"What Planet is this?"