A Gift Fit For A Princess
A Gift Fit For A Princess
“You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.”
―Kahlil Gibran
~
The shrill cry of the rooster yanked Shining Armor from the depth of his slumber. It was a dreamless slumber, but a satisfying one. Nonetheless, although he wished to lay beside his wife and forget the demands of the clock, he knew there was work to be done.
Yawning and stretching, Shining shook his mane from his eyes and opened them to the new dawn. Sleeping peacefully beside him on his king-sized bed was Princess Cadence, looking as fresh and presentable as she would the night of a grand ball. It was as if she never tossed or turned in her sleep. Contrastingly, Shining ran a forehoof through his own frazzled mane, groaning to himself.
He needed to look sharp, after all.
A few minutes after the rooster's crow, Shining heard a cacophony of trumpets and a rising tempo of snare drums from the outskirts of the Empire. The new Guard recruits were rising along with him. However, they would be thrust into intense physical training immediately after waking, rather than lazily slinging their hooves over the side of their beds as he did.
The Captain deserved a few more privileges, after all.
Rubbing his eyes, Shining slowly rose to all four hooves and pulled up his mental calendar for the day. It was Monday. He would be assisting with marching formation at the outskirts of the Crystal Empire in a few hours.
Shaking himself awake, Shining Armor smiled at his slumbering wife. Careful not to wake her, he started silently towards the bathroom.
On cue, Cadence opened her eyes and smacked her lips softly. "Mmm... morning, Shiny," she said quietly, yawning and glancing towards her husband.
Shining sighed internally. Cadence had been behind on her sleep lately. There were never enough hours in a Princess's day. Returning the smile, he turned back towards the bed and kissed her cheek. "Morning, honey. Sleep well?"
"Mmm... sure," she said with a cheeky grin.
"You should go back to sleep. I've got formation to lead. I'll be at breakfast in the Great Hall around oh-nine-hundred."
"Oh-nine-hundred?" Cadence half-heartedly rolled her eyes. "Oh, Shining, always with the military talk."
He grinned and puffed his chest in mock arrogance. Running a forehoof through his mane, he boasted, "Well, only the finest Royal Guard in Equestria would—"
Cadence reached up and kissed him lightly, interrupting his haughty speech. With a laugh, she admonished her stallion, "You'd better get up and at 'em, Captain." Yawning, she flopped back down on the bed, pulling her blankets up to her chin. Her wings folded neatly at her sides. "I'll see you in a few hours, alright?"
Shining nodded and planted a kiss on his mare's forehead before heading into the bathroom. Once inside, he took a brisk, refreshing shower, making the water as cold as the Empire permafrost. If he was not awake already, he was awake now.
After toweling off, he brushed his mane. Shining shook his head and grimaced to himself. "Getting a little too long there, recruit," he mumbled. He added "visit the barber" to his mental checklist.
Showered and brushed, Shining Armor made his way out of his master bedroom, careful not to awaken his wife a second time. From the master bedroom, he trotted out into the enormous living-room space of their quarters. As Prince and Princess of the Crystal Empire, he and Cadence occupied the uppermost floor of the crystal castle. Shining grinned. Who would've imagined he would once live in the former hall of the tyrant of legend, King Sombra?
His hoof-steps echoed off the crystalline walls, ceiling, and floor of his palace as he trotted down the stairs towards the armory of the castle. All the way, Shining perused his checklist for the day. After formation and breakfast, he'd be assessing a few of the recruits who wished to become officers.
Reaching the armory, Shining Armor cast a quick spell, purple light surrounding the heavy lock on the doorknob and releasing the strike. He opened the door, trotted in, and locked it behind him. Inside were rows and rows of cabinets, each as tall as two stallions standing on their hindhooves. The cabinets, forged from the strongest steel and reinforced with powerful enchantments, contained all weapons and armor that would be used by the new Crystal Pony Guard.
With another glow of his horn, Shining opened a cabinet in the corner of room. The door swung wide open and revealed several different suits of armor and uniforms; everything from training gear to battle armor was secured within. Tapping his chin, he paused for a moment before deciding on his Royal Guard armor. The purple-and-gold battle armor had been a gift from Princess Celestia herself, one that had followed him all the way to the far north.
Securing the breastplate first, then the shoulder-guards, then the flank-guards, Shining Armor's thoughts shifted to the state of his Empire's military. The Crystal Empire was sparsely populated. By contrast, Canterlot numbered at least times the residents within its walls. Beyond that, the Crystal Empire was populated solely by Earth ponies, limiting the Empire's defensive capabilities.
He sighed, shaking away his doubts. Although the vast majority of the new recruits were green, Shining Armor was confident that he could mold them into proper soldiers. His armor secure, he locked his cabinet, exited the armory, and secured its door behind him.
Beyond the windows of his palace, he saw his hundred recruits, roused and ready, standing at attention in front of his second-in-command, Major Shooting Star. This Royal Guard pegasus had followed his Captain from Canterlot to the north, and for good reason.
Shining sighed. It was going to be a long day.
~
"ATTEN-TION!"
Shooting Star paced back and forth in front of the Crystal Pony recruits, shaking his muzzle in disgust. His wings flaring, he barked, "You are the sorriest bunch of recruits I've ever seen!"
The line of recruits stayed silent, nopony moving a muscle.
"HEY!" Shooting Star went to muzzle-to-muzzle with one stallion recruit, making him flinch. "When you are spoken to, you reply with, 'Sir, yes sir!' You got that, recruit?"
"S-sir, y-yes, s-s-sir!" the frightened recruit mumbled, his hooves shaking.
Shooting Star exhaled hot steam onto the recruit's face and snorted. "Pathetic!" Tearing away from him, he repeated to the rest, "You are the sorriest bunch of recruits I've ever seen!"
"SIR, YES, SIR!" came the unanimous reply, choruses of both mare and stallion voices chiming up and down in mutual fear.
"That's a little better!" Tucking his wings back in, Shooting Star ordered, "Now, before the Captain gets here, I want you all to drop and give me twenty!"
A mare near the end of the line shakily raised a forehoof.
Shooting Star's eyes bulged out of his skull, his lips drawing back in a shocked expression. He looked like he'd just been smacked across the face. "Yes?!" What question could you possibly have, recruit?!"
"S-sir, w-what do you mean by 't-twenty,' s-sir?"
Shooting Star face-hoofed, burying his muzzle in a litany of curses.
When he pulled his forehoof away, he snapped, "Push-ups, imbecile! Drop up and give me twenty push-ups, all of you!"
"SIR, YES, SIR!"
"Except for you!" Shooting Star quickly added, pointing at the ignorant mare. "You give me forty, recruit!"
"S-sir, yes, s-sir!" she squeaked, falling to her hooves.
The line of Crystal Ponies pounded out their set as quickly as they could under the judgmental eyes of their Major, silently praying to their Princess that the Captain would be here soon.
Thankfully, when the last pony fell to her belly, hooves aching, Captain Shining Armor arrived, dressed in full battle regalia. Sans spear, he was prepared for warfare, and grabbed the attention of his recruits as he entered the open space near the outskirts of the Crystal Empire.
"Salute your Captain!" ordered Shooting Star, raising his right forehoof to his forehead at an angle. The recruits did the same, though some fumbled with the gesture.
Looking over the rows of tents, Shining Armor was pleased to see that they were identical and pitched side-by-side, not a single item left outside a single tent. The mess areas had been cleaned up as well, the cooking utensils hung out to dry, shining pristinely in the sun. A grin grew across his muzzle.
It disappeared once he turned to his recruits.
They huffed and puffed even as they stood to attention, terrified in the eyes of their Captain. Shining turned to Shooting Star. "What did you have them do this morning, Major?"
"Only twenty push-ups, my Captain!" Shooting Star answered, giving him another salute. He spat on the grass and shook his head towards the recruits. "Sorriest bunch of recruits I've ever laid eyes on, Captain! The best the Empire has to offer? My flank, my Captain!"
Shining smirked, staring down his row of recruits. "Well, then, Major, you know what that means."
They shared a knowing glance and chuckled.
Each recruit gulped, the sight of the two stallions laughing sending chills down their spines.
"Recruits!" Major Shooting Star marched back in forth in front of the Crystal Ponies, an impish grin on his muzzle. "Get ready for the first day of the rest of your lives."
~
Devoid of snow, the Crystal Empire was known in the glorious springtime for its grassy hilltops, its rainbow of wildflowers, its clear skies.
And, today, it would be known for the chorus of a march, uttered by a hundred exhausted Crystal Ponies as they marched up and down those hills:
"One mile—no sweat!
Two mile—better yet!
Three miles—gotta run!
Four miles—just for fun!
Come on—let's go!
We can go—through the snow!
We can run—to the sun!
We train—in the rain!"
Hooves aching, they pressed on, pressed on, led by their Captain and Major, who had not even a solitary drop of sweat hanging off their foreheads.
"C'mon! Are you ponies or puppies?!" Shooting Star snapped his neck around to glare at them. "Left, right, left! It ain't time travel, recruits!"
"SIR, YES, SIR!" they shouted back, gasping between heavy hoof-steps.
"So," said Shooting Star, turning back to Shining, "how's things with you and the old mare?"
Shining snorted. "We've only been married a year, Shooting Star."
"Bah!" He shook his mane and laughed, fluttering his wings. "One they get that hoof-band on 'em, they're as good as done, Shining!"
"You're disgusting."
"But you love me anyway."
Shining scrunched up his snout. "Anyways, no, Cadence and I are doing really well." He sighed. "She's just so busy lately, meeting with different nobles from all around Equestria while I'm trying to string together a true Guard." He shrugged. "I wish I had more time to see her, that's all."
Shooting Star grinned. "Well, don't you worry, Captain! A few more weeks of this, and these recruits will be in tip-top shape. Isn't that right?!" he shouted, turning around to glare at the Crystal Ponies again.
"SIR, YES, SIR!"
"Told you," he said smugly.
Shining snorted and quickened his pace, pulling ahead of Shooting Star. He rose to a canter, looking behind to shout, "Faster! You aren't in the Crystal Empire anymore! You're in MY Guard!"
"SIR, YES, SIR!"
Catching up to him, Shooting Star glanced towards the Crystal Mountains in the distance. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking, Captain?"
"You'd better not think of using those wings of yours, Major. We're gonna show these ponies what guards are really made of."
~
"More tea, Your Highness?" asked a meek mare, lowering her eyes from Princess Cadence's gaze. She balanced a tray of tea, biscuits, and teacups between her jaws.
"Oh, no, thank you," dismissed Cadence, waving a forehoof. She smiled and said politely, "That's quite alright."
"As you wish, Your Highness." The mare slowly stepped away, still lowering her eyes.
Cadence sighed and slumped in her seat. She sat at the head of a very long dining table in the Great Hall. Currently, there was no sign of Shining or Shooting Star. Cadence glanced at a clock adorning the crystalline walls. It was almost 0900. It wasn't like him to be late. Shrugging it off, she levitated a spoonful of oatmeal towards her mouth. He was probably just—
The doors to the Great Hall swung open, a sweat-glistened Shining Armor and Shooting Star appearing in the doorway. "Am I too late?" Shining called, trotting over to join her with his Major in tow.
"Your Highness!" A butler-pony whisked his way over to Shining Armor, bowing. "It is so good to see you this morning. Can I get you anything to drink?"
"Er, just some orange juice, please," he answered, pulling up a chair beside Cadence.
Shooting Star sat next to Shining. "Yeah, and a beer for me!"
The butler raised an eyebrow.
Shining rolled his eyes. "It's oh-nine-hundred, Major."
"And I'm hungover. A beer!"
Cadence sighed and dismissed the butler with a wave of her forehoof. "Please, just give him one. It'll make him more tolerable."
"Oh, ho, ho! Not a fan of my quips, are you, Princess?" Shooting Star grinned.
Ignoring him, Cadence leaned across the table to plant a kiss on her husband's cheek. "You came just in time, Shiny."
The Major snickered. Shining kicked him underneath the table. Shooting Star held back the urge to yelp in pain.
"Heh. Sorry about that," Shining Armor said, rubbing his neck with a forehoof. "These recruits are a lot... greener than I'd expected."
Arriving with their drinks, the butler placed a glass of orange juice in front of Shining and a stein of beer in front of Shooting Star. "Yeah, that's putting it lightly," Shooting Star said with a snort, grabbing his beer. He tipped it back and drained about half the glass. "Blech. Hair of the dog. Anyway, I can't believe these ponies are all we managed to nab!"
"Shining worked for weeks on recruitment," chided Cadence, shooting the Major a glare. "We had to do a lot of convincing to even get the citizens involved in defense. Given their history, they're still a bit... wary of the prospect of war."
"War?" Wiping his muzzle, Shooting Star asked, "Who said anything about war?"
"You can't have a standing army without the possibility of war," Shining said flatly. "At least, that's how the Crystal Ponies see it."
"Don't worry, Shooting Star. As of right now, the Crystal Empire is in a foreseeable peacetime. So, if any of the new guards come out traumatized, it'll be all your fault." Cadence took a bite of her oatmeal and grinned cheekily.
Shooting Star rolled his eyes. "Well, excuuuuuse me, Princess!"
They shared a laugh. Truth be told, Cadence was closer to Shooting Star than any of Shining Armor's friends, and tolerated his sarcasm and occasional bad manners. Besides, Shining Armor needed all the help he could get if he wanted to build a Royal Guard for the Empire from the ground up.
After some light chat, Princess Cadence finished her breakfast. Moving from her seat to her hooves, she stretched her wings and brushed her wingtips against Shining's cheek. "What's on your schedule for the rest of the day, dear?"
"Shooting Star and I are going to be drilling the recruits—"
Shooting Star snickered again. Both Shining and Cadence silenced him with an unamused glare.
"Anyway," Shining muttered, turning back to his wife, "we're going to lead them through some combat drills, and then I'm going to meet with a few of them who are interested in becoming officers."
She raised an eyebrow. "So soon? How many?"
"Just two. A mare and a stallion."
"Do you know their names?"
"Not yet." He nudged his head towards Shooting Star, who was ordering another beer from the butler. "He's in charge of keeping the names straight until we get to the end of this week. After that, we'll be making some cuts, and then divide the top performers into squads."
"You're entrusting him with the names?" Cadence pointed a forehoof towards the drinking pegasus.
"He's a lot smarter than he looks. Trust me, Cadence."
"I know he's smart. He's just..." She shook her head. "Nevermind. That doesn't matter." Cadence rustled her wings and folded them back down. Reaching over, she gave him another kiss, along with a playful wiggle of her eyebrows. "You excited, Shining Armor?"
Behind them, Shooting Star face-hoofed and busied himself with his beer.
Returning the kiss, he pulled away and tilted his head. "Excited for...?"
She giggled and brought a forehoof to her lips. "Oh, you know..."
He blinked.
Leaning close to his ear, Cadence whispered, "Your anniversary surprise."
A stalactite of ice emerged from the crystal floor of the Great Hall, piercing Shining Armor straight in the gut. Or so it felt. He blinked again, sure he'd heard incorrectly. It was springtime, yes, but...
Cadence nuzzled his cheek and laughed. "Oh, I shouldn't tease you. Especially not in front of your underling," she whispered hotly, pulling away. Kissing him on the snout, Cadence said, "I'd better be going. I've got Royal Court opening in about half an hour."
"R-right." Forcing a smile, Shining said through his teeth, "Have a good court, honey."
"I will." Stepping away, Cadence nodded towards Shooting Star. "It was good seeing you again, Major."
"You too, Princess!" he said, raising his stein of beer to her.
With a flash of her horn, Princess Cadence teleported to the Royal Court, which was held a few levels below the Great Hall.
His white muzzle paling, Shining Armor stood in place, the gears within his consciousness whirring and grinding in absolute panic. Anniversary?! But! But our anniversary isn't until... until... April... April...
Shooting Star hopped from his seat and trotted over, beer in forehoof. "Hey, are you alright, Captain?" he asked, placing the opposite forehoof on Shining's shoulder.
"Shooting Star," Shining said quietly, "what day is it today?"
"It's April 19."
Shining Armor turned around, his left eye twitching. "A-April 19, you say?"
"Yeah," Shooting Star replied, a bit uneasily. He set his beer down and sat on his haunches in front of his Captain. "Captain Shining Armor... are you alright?"
Shining's eye twitched a few more times before he began to laugh, laugh, laugh, cackling and chuckling and chortling, throwing a forehoof around the Major's shoulders and howling with laughter. "Ha! Ha! Hahahaha! A-April 19! Hahaha! Hah! Hah! Oh... Major, that's a GOOD one!"
"Um...I'm not kidding, Captain."
Shining blew a raspberry and sniggered. "Hah! Hilarious, Major!"
"N-no, Captain," said the Major, worming his way out of the uncomfortable sideways-embrace, "it is April 19 today. I swear on the Princesses that it is."
Shining's eye started twitching again.
"Captain?"
"Major Shooting Star," he said darkly, "we have a problem."
~
Exhausted, the Crystal Pony recruits laid on the grass or the benches, empty bowls of soup resting on their stomachs. After their excruciating march up and down the smallest Crystal Mountain, the prospect of further physical training was nothing more than a sick joke.
Those assigned to preparing the mid-morning meal and cleaning up went about their duties as quickly as they could—which wasn't very fast at all. Among the myriad of exhausted recruits were a mare and a stallion, Quartzite and Pyrite, both with their hearts set on the Guard but their bodies protesting.
Taking a deep breath, Quartzite gasped and muttered, "How... how much longer until you think the Major and the Captain come back?"
Pyrite gulped and shook his muzzle, arching his tired back. "Haah... don't even... joke about that... Quartz..."
She snorted. "Some... officer... you're going to be... getting winded after a little march..."
"Look... at yourself," he challenged, glaring at her. He rolled onto his stomach and clicked his tongue. "Pooped... and it's not even noon..."
Furrowing her brow, she rolled onto her stomach as well and scoffed at him. "Whatever... Pyrite. You'll see."
"Yeah, right."
Before Quartzite could snap back, a familiar stallion bellowed, "RECRUITS, ATTEN-TION!"
In full battle armor once more, Major Shooting Star and Captain Shining Armor stood tall, demanding attention. A hundred weary muzzles rose up, their owners forcing a weak salute. The poor ponies assigned to cleaning the mid-morning mess paused in the midst of their duties, stopping to salute for a second before returning to their scrubbing, packing, and sweeping.
Shooting Star spat on the ground again, his wings flaring. "An even sorrier bunch than I'd thought! Thirty minutes for mid-morning meal not enough for you?!"
"SIR, YES, SIR!" was the response, albeit a bit weaker than before.
Pawing at the ground with a forehoof, Shooting Star shook his head in shame and sighed. "It'll be a lot of work before you all can call yourselves 'Royal Guards'! Pathetic! Simply pathetic!
"Luckily for you," he continued, snorting derisively at the messy camp before him, "Captain Shining Armor has important matters to attend to today. So, in his stead, I will be leading the rest of today's physical training!"
Unspoken, a collective, silent gulp passed through the camp.
Leading Shining Armor away from the despicable riffraff, Shooting Star whispered, "Don't worry about a thing, Captain. I'll get these bunch of brats taken care of. You just take care of your anniversary gift."
Shining sighed. "Thanks, Shooting Star," he whispered back. "I can't believe I forgot..."
Patting him on the shoulder, the Major said, "Working too hard, Captain. You go head off into town and get something for Cadence. You've got until she wakes up tomorrow, right? April 20th is your anniversary, right?"
Shining shook his muzzle. "We give our gifts to each other the midnight of our anniversary, right at the stroke of twelve. That's what we've always done. I've got... not even fourteen hours to do that, assuming I look around until the last minute."
"Fourteen hours is enough, don't you think, Captain?"
"I don't know, Major." Turning around, Shining glanced at the Crystal Ponies. "But what about the two that want to become officers? I wanted to meet with them myself."
Shooting Star raised a forehoof and shook his head. "I'll make to schedule them to meet with you on Wednesday. You should spend all of your anniversary with your wife."
An idea wormed its way into Shining's mind. He smiled and shook his muzzle. "Thanks, Major, but I have a better idea..."
Before Shooting Star could object, Shining trotted towards the recruits, his majestic armor glistening in the early light of Celestia's morning sun. "Recruits!"
A hundred muzzles snapped towards him.
"Who of you dares to become an officer?!" His voice was proud but not haughty, commanding, seeming to quake the Earth beneath them.
Slowly, two forehooves found their way into the air.
Shining Armor pointed towards each of them and beckoned them. "Come! Follow me!"
A Crystal Pony mare, white with flecks of gray in her coat and mane, approached the Captain. So did a Crystal Pony stallion, his mane and coat a dull gold.
Stomping the grass, Shining demanded, "State your names!"
"Quartzite, sir!" exclaimed the mare.
"Pyrite, sir!" declared the stallion.
"Quartzite, Pyrite, follow me!" ordered Shining Armor, pivoting on his hooves towards his crystal castle.
Exchanging a nervous glance, the two Crystal Ponies said, "Sir, yes, sir!" and began to trot towards him.
"Captain...?" Shooting Star looked over to Shining Armor, confusion written across his muzzle.
Shining nodded, brought a forehoof to the side of his mouth, and hissed, "Don't worry about it! Just take care of the others!"
Catching on, Major Shooting Star flared his wings and stared down the remaining recruits. "Alright, recruits! If you thought today was the worst day of your life, you were wrong! Next up, we'll be..."
~
Wordlessly, Quartzite and Pyrite followed Captain Shining Armor back to the Crystal Palace. Per his orders, they waited outside the front gate, staring up in awe at its spiraling towers.
"So..." Pyrite asked after a long silence, "What do you think the Captain wants with us?"
Quartzite shrugged. "No idea. It's probably better than what the Major is doing to the rest of the recruits."
Pyrite shuddered. "Yeah... he seems to be a bit of a hard-flank."
"Watch your mouth!" Quartzite snapped, brushing away a strand of her mane from her eyes. "The Captain will hear you!"
Rolling his eyes, Pyrite scoffed and said, "It'll take him at least a few minutes to get back d—"
Shining Armor blinked into existence in front of them, tendrils of purple magic flowing off his coat and mane. "Sorry about that," he said, giving them a sheepish smile. "The armory is enchanted so that nopony can teleport into it, so it took a little bit longer."
"T-that's alright, Captain!" Pyrite stumbled, taken aback by both his leader's sudden appearance and his frank admission. "Er, um, I mean, sir, yes, s—"
"Enough of that for right now." Shining Armor pointed towards the heart of the Crystal Empire and the thriving city itself. "Right now, you two aren't Crystal Pony Guard recruits."
Quartzite and Pyrite gulped. "Um... wh-what are we then, Captain?" Quartzite asked.
Shining grinned, flinging a forehoof around each of their shoulders and further startling them both. "Wellllll.... I'd rather not go into details, but I need you two to help me find a gift."
"A gift?" Pyrite repeated.
"And not just any gift!" Shining clarified. "A gift fit for a Princess."
Both Crystal Ponies were silent for a moment before it dawned on them.
Giving the Captain a teasing grin, Quartzite said cheekily, "Oh... forget her birthday, was it?"
Shining lowered his ears, a spark of scarlet appearing on his cheeks. "Anniversary..."
Both recruits gasped.
"Ah! Ah! Ah!" Shining shook his muzzle, raising a forehoof as he scolded them, "Not a word about this, or I'll send you back with Shooting Star! Got it? And this is the last time today I want a 'sir, yes, sir'!"
"S-sir, yes, sir!" they exclaimed in unison.
"Good. Now," Shining Armor said, standing closely in between them, "to save your aching hooves, hang tight and don't get scared."
Quartzite began, "What do you me—"
In a flash of purple magic, they disappeared, winking away from the Crystal Palace.
~
Shining Armor opened his eyes. Beside him appeared Quartzite and Pyrite, both dizzy on their hooves, just about to fall over. Lighting up his horn, he steadied them both and looked around. He'd teleported them into the center of town square, right by the Crystal Heart. There were a few passing Crystal Ponies, but, thankfully, they hadn't seemed to have noticed the sudden appearance of their Prince. Good.
While he'd neglected to disguise himself, Shining Armor was hoping to get this over with as soon as he could. How could you possibly forget your own anniversary?! Good thing Cadence said something... Arrrgghhh...
"C-Captain..." Quartzite mumbled, rubbing her forehead. She groaned. "What just—"
"H-Happened..." muttered Pyrite, shaking his muzzle rapidly. Both recruits blinked and nearly jumped out of their skins once the world came into focus. "C-Captain! How did we get here?!" Pyrite asked, gasping.
"Relax. I forget that Crystal Ponies are all Earth ponies," Shining said, muttering that last part to himself. "I just teleported us here. Saves time. Now," he said seriously, turning around to face them, "there's two reasons I've brought you two here to help me find this gift.
"The first is that—"
"You want to test us?" Quartzite interrupted, clapping her forehooves together. "Like, a test to see if we're officer material?"
Actually, I was going to say that I have no idea what's in the stores around here... I've never had to shop for anything my entire time living here. Brushing those thoughts aside, Shining nodded and exclaimed, "Yes! Yes! Exactly! A test."
Pyrite nodded and grinned. "Alright, Capt—"
"Please," Shining said, raising a forehoof gently. "Call me Shining."
"Shining," Pyrite corrected. "What is the second reason?"
Shining darted his eyes around the plaza. It was empty. He rubbed his nape as he admitted, "Er, well, I, uh... always ask for a second opinion or two on gifts. Erm, gift-giving isn't really my... special talent, you could say."
Quartzite started to laugh, but Shining raised his forehoof again. "Hey! It's not funny!"
The laughter ceased immediately. "S-sorry, Shining."
"It's fine. Now, let's get this over with, shall we?"
"Wait!" Quartzite said, waving a forehoof near her nose. "I don't know about myself, but Pyrite doesn't exactly smell minty-fresh after running up that mountain!"
"Hey! You're not not all roses and dandelions either, Quartz!" Pyrite objected, scowling.
Shining tapped his chin with a forehoof. "Hmm, you're right. We don't want to draw too much attention to ourselves."
Shining Armor lit his horn and engulfed the two recruits in a glow of magic. In a few seconds, a cooling sensation passed over them, through their coats and manes. When the magic dissipated, Pyrite and Quartzite looked over themselves curiously. Quartzite gasped.
"Just a little spell I used to use when I was in school and didn't have time to shower," Shining explained. "Now, let's go."
Nodding, the two recruits followed their Prince through the streets of the Crystal Empire. Occasionally, a passing Crystal Pony would look up and gasp, pointing at the unicorn stallion. "Oh! Oh my crystal! It's the Prince! H-hello, Your Highness!" some would exclaim, while others were too flabbergasted to speak. Shining Armor merely offered them a smile and a greeting before continuing on his merry way.
Stopping in front of a sweets shop, Shining turned to his recruits. "Alright. Is this a good store?"
Pyrite looked around his shoulder and shrugged. "Meh."
"What's 'meh' about it?" Quartzite asked her fellow recruit. "This is one of my favorite candy stores in town!"
"Maybe," Pyrite replied, "but isn't candy kinda... cliche?"
Shining rolled his eyes. "Cliche is better than nothing. C'mon." With a swift spin of his hooves, he turned around and trotted inside the sweets shop, Quartzite hopping in joy behind him and Pyrite reluctantly following.
"Good morn—oh! Your Highness! It is such a pleasure to see you!" The shopkeeper, an elderly, squat mare, rushed out from behind the counter and bowed to Shining Armor. "Please, Your Highness, what can I do for you today?"
"I would like a box of your finest chocolates," Shining requested.
The shopkeeper exclaimed, "Of course! Of course! Just a moment, Your Highness." She rushed away as fast as her old legs could carry her, which wasn't much more than a slow trot towards a back room of the shop.
Shining smirked and laughed a bit. "Well! Maybe this won't be so hard, after all."
Meanwhile, Quartzite had trotted over to a row of crystal candies, her eyes glazing over as she looked up at them. Practically drooling, she mumbled, "Mmm... crystal candy..."
"Hey!" Pyrite said, poking her in the ribs, "We're not here to window-shop, Quartz! We're here to help Shining."
"He's fine," she said, poking Pyrite back. She looked over to see that the shopkeeper had returned and was carrying a box towards him. "I don't see why he thinks it'll be so hard. Now... the question of the millennium, Pyrite... raspberry or strawberry?"
"Um, what are these?"
Pyrite and Quartz turned around.
Levitating the top half of the box, Shining Armor glanced at the "fine chocolates," which appeared to be a dozen or so small crystals, each intricately hoof-carved to look like a rose.
"Why, the finest chocolates in the Crystal Empire, Your Highness!" declared the shopkeeper, bowing low to her Prince.
"I see..." Gently placing the top half of the box back and securing the package, Shining Armor levitated it back to the old mare. "Thank you very much, ma'am, but, er, I'll have to pass."
"Oh? I'm very sorry to hear that, Your Highness," she said, sniffling a little as she took the box back in her forehooves. "I'm sorry! My candy is not worthy of a Prince!"
Shining Armor raised both forehooves. "No! No! No! Ma'am—"
A few tears leaked from the old mare's eye. "I was so elated when the Crystal Princess revealed herself, and now here stands her husband, whom I have so thoroughly insulted by giving him inferior product... Oh, my crystals! I'm so, so sorry, Your Highness!" She began to wail, dropping the box and bringing her forehooves to her eyes.
Shining gasped and lit his horn. Catching the box by the skin of his teeth, he set it on the countertop and trotted over. Placing a forehoof on the old mare's shoulder comfortingly, he assured, "No, no, no, Miss! They are lovely chocolates. It's just..." He paused, searching for a good lie. "I just remembered. I'm... I'm on a diet."
Pyrite and Quartzite trotted over, confused. "Diet, Shining?" Quartzite asked.
"Y-yes!" Shining announced, "I've, er, put on a few extra pounds lately! Too much candy! Heh. So, uh, no chocolates for me! Ah, heh, heh..." Stepping back from the old mare, he bowed his head. "I'm sorry for wasting your time, ma'am."
Immediately cheered up, she grinned and giggled like a schoolfilly, clapping her wrinkled forehooves together. "Oh, no, no! The pleasure's all mine, Your Highness! It was wonderful seeing you!" Grabbing the box of "chocolates," she bowed one last time and started for the back room. "Good luck with your diet, Your Highness!"
"Thanks," Shining said, waving a forehoof goodbye to her. Looking to the two recruits, he nudged his head towards the door. Together, they exited, only speaking once all three were in the open air.
"Uh... what's going on, Shining?" Pyrite asked.
Shining Armor sighed. "I should have known..."
"What's the problem?" Quartzite said, "Those are REALLY good chocolates! Raspberry roses! Any mare would kill to have a stallion give her those!"
Shining said flatly, "Well, ponies like Cadence and I can't eat crystals."
"You can't?!" both recruits exclaimed in unison.
Shining nodded. "C'mon. Let's try and find a flower shop." He started on his hooves, walking swiftly away from the sweets shop. Pyrite followed.
"But! But!" Quartzite whined, trotting quickly to keep up with him. "I could've had those chocolates instead!"
~
"Ah! Your Highness! It's a pleasure to see you!" exclaimed the florist, delighted to see that the newest customer at his door was none other than his Prince.
"Yes, er, thank you. I would like a bouquet of your finest flowers," Shining said.
The stallion bowed and declared, "But of course! Be right back, your Highness!"
Pyrite and Quartzite sidled up to him. "You know, flowers are even more cliche than chocolates," Pyrite said.
"So what?" snapped Quartzite. "Every mare loves flowers!"
Pyrite rolled his eyes. "That doesn't mean you should give her flowers for every single occasion."
"Can you two stop bickering?" Shining snapped, rubbing his forehead. "You're starting to give me a headache!"
Both muttered sheepishly, "Sorry, Shining."
"It's fine." He sighed, shaking out his mane. "I guess I'm just tense. What if I can't find something for Cadence?"
"No, no, no!" Placing a forehoof on his shoulder, Quartzite assured, "You will, Shining! After all, it's only eleven."
"Eleven-hundred," Shining corrected, then blinked. "Wait—it's eleven-hundred already?"
Pyrite nodded. "Ah, well, look on the bright side!" he said, nudging him playfully in the shoulder. "That gives us seven hours until the shops close!"
"S-seven hours?" Shining Armor's left eye started to twitch.
"Yeah! Didn't you know?" Quartzite asked.
The Prince shook his head. "I've... I've never had to do much shopping here," he admitted, a little ashamed. How can I be so ignorant of my own Empire? "Most of what need at the castle gets imported to us from all over Equestria. It's not something we worry about, really. That, and I've been focused on the Guard."
"Oh..." Pyrite removed his forehoof from Shining, trailing off. He coughed. "Well, er, yeah. After eighteen-hundred," he said pointedly, shooting a cheeky grin towards Quartzite, "and the sun sets, all the shops close."
Quartzite explained, "We... we Crystal Ponies don't really like the dark."
"Well," Shining said firmly, "you two will need to get over that, as well as the rest of the recruits." But I can't ask the general populace to do so. Not after everything they've been through.
The florist returned, light on his hooves, clutching a bouquet between his jaws. "Here you are, Your Highness!"
Shining gripped the bouquet in his magic and turned it upright. It was a lovely crystal bouquet, roses, tulips, and lilies carved out of pure gemstone. Red, blue, purple, and pink shined back at him, brilliantly displaying his own reflection. It was far beyond anything Shining Armor had ever seen, much less given a mare, quite literally outshining any assortment of flowers he'd given Cadence in the past.
"Wow... these are beautiful!" He smiled at the florist. "Do they have a scent?"
"Of course, Your Highness! Go ahead, smell them," said the florist. He adjusted his apron nervously. "I'm sure you'll love them."
Shining Armor leaned forward and took a whiff.
And gagged.
The odor was completely unexpected, and almost indescribable. It wasn't quite rotten eggs, spoiled milk, decaying garbage, or a full diaper, but something in between all four of them. Fighting the urge to retch, Shining passed the flowers back to the florist with his magic.
"S-something wrong, Your Highness?" the florist asked.
Bringing a forehoof to his nose, Shining stumbled, "Er... uh... um... Where did you get the crystals for that bouquet?"
The florist tilted his head. "Why, the underground caverns, Your Highness! It is where all of our finest crystals are harvested!"
"Um... alright..." Rubbing his snout, Shining asked a second question. "And, um, did anything... strange happen underground?"
The florist visibly tensed. "Well, Your Highness, unfortunately the underground caverns are also where it used to live."
All the Crystal Ponies in the florist's shop, and Shining Armor as well, felt a shiver go down their spine.
Great. I just smelled King Sombra's...who knows what...
"Er, I see. Thank you so much. Ah, I won't be needing flowers after all," Shining said, quickly adding, "nothing against you, sir. I just... er... don't have a vase to put them in!"
The florist smiled. "Oh, well, that won't be a problem, Your Highness. We also carry—"
Before he could finish, Shining Armor, Quartzite, and Pyrite were out the door once more.
"Vases..."
~
"So... chocolate and flowers both won't work," Shining said with a groan, stepping out into the midday light of the Crystal Empire. It was almost noon by now. He glanced at Pyrite and Quartzite. "Any suggestions?"
Both ponies tapped their chins.
Sitting down beside a fountain, Shining yawned and stretched his hooves. "Those are my two go-to ideas, so I have literally no idea what to do next."
"How about a sculpture?" Quartzite suggested.
Pyrite snorted. "There's tons in the castle!"
"How would you know?" Quartzite challenged.
Pyrite rubbed his neck, glancing awkwardly at Shining and Quartzite. "Er, um, lucky guess?"
Quartzite opened her mouth to object, but Shining cut her off. "No. That's too... generic. And he's right. We have tons. We even had one of me throwing Cadence for a while..."
They blinked, staring at their Captain in awkward silence.
Shining Armor sighed. "She... didn't really like it."
"Oh... how strange!" Quartzite forced a smile. "I mean... that's, like, the best—"
"Don't wanna hear it." Shining groaned and rose to his hooves. "Alright. We've got six hours until the sun goes down. Let's just try and find something that Cadence will like, alright?"
"Well, what doesn't she like?" Pyrite asked. "Maybe that will help."
"Um..." Shining laughed. "Here's the thing. There isn't much she doesn't like. Cadence is a really happy-go-lucky pony. She's always happy with whatever I get her, no matter what I think of it."
Quartzite asked, "Well, then, why are you worried?"
"Because! I just don't want to give her just anything," Shining protested. "She's not my marefriend anymore. She's my wife, and this is our first anniversary. Not to mention that she's a Princess, and I'm her Prince." He sighed. "I can't just slap together something at the last minute and call it good."
"But," Quartzite said, raising a forehoof, "isn't that what we're—"
"Ah! Ah! Ah! Not a word!" Shining Armor turned away from her, looking towards some shops in the distance. "Come on, you two. Let's just check every store."
We might as well, at this point...
~
The next six hours were a blur. Shining Armor and his two recruits went from store to store, coming up empty-hooved each time. The Crystal Ponies' version of a "fine wine" was a strange concoction of crystal berry "juice" interspersed with bits of crystal. Perfume seemed to be nonexistent. Greeting cards had yet to be invented, apparently, especially ones with jokes about the recipient's age inside.
Just before the clock chimed 1800 and Celestia lowered her sun to her sister's moon, Shining Armor settled on a mishmash of mediocre offerings: a bar of real chocolate, made by an insane Crystal chocolatier; an imported, non-chrystalline azalea in a pot; and a bottle of apple cider—also imported, and from Sweet Apple Acres, no less.
Emerging from the final shop, a flimsy gift bag in his forehooves, Shining Armor ordered Quartzite and Pyrite, "Grab my shoulder."
"But, Shining," Quartzite objected, "are you sure you're—"
"There's no more time," Shining admitted, defeated. He sighed and forced a smile towards the two. "Thank you both for trying, but there's nothing more we can do."
Pyrite returned the sigh. "He's right. If you would've had better ideas, Quartzite—"
Quartzite snapped, "Me?! You were the one with all the terrible ideas, Pyrite!"
"Oh yeah? Who suggests a fugelhorn for an anniversary gift?"
"Hey! You never know! The Princess could be a musician!"
"Maybe, but a fugelhorn?!"
"Cut it out!" Shining barked, snapping them both to attention. "This isn't helping!"
"S-sorry, Shining," both mumbled, avoiding each other's eyes.
"Let's just go back. You two need to head to dinner with the other recruits, and I need to wrap these..." He gulped, sweat running down his neck-. "Gifts for Cadence."
Two forehooves met opposite shoulders. In a haze of purple light, Shining Armor teleported them away, a long, ridiculous day left behind him in the market.
~
Shining Armor dismissed Pyrite and Quartzite once the two could stand on their own solid hooves. Promises of true officer tests were made, apologies were dismissed, and the two recruits reluctantly made their way back to camp.
At least they tried, Shining thought, watching them sulk away. He set down the gift bag and looked up at Luna's brewing night sky. I should give them points for that, at least. Out of all those recruits, they're the only two who are even interested... that must say something, in this strange land of mine.
He glanced up at the palace. Of ours.
Looking back at the bag full of mediocre gifts, Shining Armor rose to his hooves. This was my own fault. If I hadn't been so worried about forming a Royal Guard for the Crystal Empire, I would've remembered. I would've had time to go back home and get something, or at least order a proper present for Cadence. But I must live with my mistakes.
A slight, hopeful smile forced its way across his muzzle. Maybe she'll like them, anyway.
~
Princess Cadence stood out on her balcony, looking down with a content smile at her wondrous Crystal Empire. In the past year, it had slowly grown to feel like hers, to become hers. She adored her subjects, each and every one of them. Ruling over this beautiful land was nothing short of a joy. She yawned and stretched her wings, resting her forehooves on the balcony railing. Even if it meant long days, it was worth it.
The door to her master bedroom creaked open. She looked over her shoulder, calling, "Shiny?"
"Cadence," he said quietly, closing the door behind him.
Cadence turned around fully, moving down to her hooves and closing her wings. "Is something wrong? You sound... sad, Shiny." She trotted closer, squinting her eyes to pierce through the dark bedroom. There, she noticed something clenched between his jaws. "Oh, Shiny, what do you have there?"
Trotting up to her, Shining Armor set the gift bag on the bed. "Cadence..."
"Oh, you got me a gift?"
He nodded. "Yes, but, Cadence—"
"You know, I was wondering where you were," she said, leaning closer to him and kissing his cheek. "It's almost midnight, Shining Armor."
Shining gulped, chills rushing down his spine. She only uses my full name when she's—
"Well," Cadence said, lighting up her horn in a glow of pink magic, "let's see what my wonderful husband got me!"
"Cadence, wait!" Shining exclaimed, placing a forehoof on her shoulder.
"Yes, Shiny?"
Shining Armor's eyes darted from the ceiling, to the floor, to Cadence's. Mustering his courage—you're the Captain of the Royal Guard, of all things!—he explained, "What you're about to open, Cadence, isn't the best gift I could've given you..."
He paused. She waited patiently for him to finish, saying nothing.
"Cadence, I screwed up."
"How.... what do you mean?" Cadence raised an eyebrow. She released her magical grip on the gift bag, setting it back down on the bed.
"I..." Shining sighed and looked at his hooves. "I forgot."
"Forgot...?"
"Our anniversary!" he blurted, looking up and startling her. He sighed and looked at his hooves again. "I was so swept up in trying to assemble a Royal Guard, and find recruits, and train them, and even with Shooting Star around, it's a lot, and—"
"Shining—"
"And I tried to get a gift today, but all the good candy is inedible, and the flowers smell like a sewer, and I swear to my aunt-in-law that this place doesn't have half the things we have back home—"
"Shining—"
"So, I got you some things, but they aren't worthy of you, and..." Shining looked away. "Sometimes, I don't feel worthy of you."
Cadence grabbed him by the muzzle, then kissed him deeply, turning Shining Armor's brain into oatmeal.
As she pulled away, his jaw hung agape, his eyes wide as he muttered, "Um, ah, I—"
"Shining Armor," Cadence said sternly, pushing the gift bag aside, "I love you. I love you no matter what gift you give me, or if you give me none at all. I love you even if you gave me a lottery ticket and a pack of gum, like Blueblood did, once," she said with a laugh, shaking her head at the memory of her cousin's foalishness. "I love you, Shining Armor, for you, not what you do or what you give.
"Do you understand?"
Shining grinned. "Yes. Of course. I'm—I'm sorry. I was just so worried about getting you something, and frustrated when I couldn't find anything."
"Shiny," Cadence said gently, wrapping a forehoof around his neck, "it's alright."
"Yeah," Shining Armor said, pulling her close with his forehooves around her waist, "I guess it is."
They shared a deep, passionate kiss in the moonlight, muzzles blushing, neither wanting to pull away.
When they finally did, Princess Cadence leaned in close and whispered hotly in her Prince's ear, "And you know what else, Shining Armor?"
"What's that, my Princess?" Shining exhaled back, his breath hot on her neck.
"Our anniversary is tomorrow."
