The door to Princess Celestia’s private study opened with delicate care, so as to not disturb whatever mysteries that might’ve been going on within. After a pause to ready herself, Twilight Sparkle trotted into the room, doing her best to keep her mind on a leash. But she couldn’t help herself: she was itching with excitement with every step. This was Princess Celestia’s private study! Nopony but a sparse few were ever allowed inside these walls, to the point they became something of a legend. And yet Princess Celestia insisted they meet here, because there was something very important to discuss.
Twilight didn’t know what that something was, which kept her particularly nervous. Eager, but restrained and cautious. The possible reasons for being here were what kept her from marvelling over the room as much she’d like to.
It reminded her of an observatory, and it probably was one at some point in the past. Directly across from the doorway was a set of glass doors that led to a small outdoors balcony. Above their marble frame sat an enormously tall window that ran vertically all the way to the center of the domed roof, perfectly contoured to the curves of the structure, and allowing the evening sun to bask the room with light. Through the glass doors, off in the far distance, Twilight could make out the nondescript mountain that she knew marked the place where the sun rose every morning. Glancing up, she quickly bet its path would follow the window as it ascended.
Aside from the two doorways, there was no other break along the walls, which were completely taken up by towering bookcases. She doubted she could guess what a tenth of them were about, and the ones she did were only partially mentioned elsewhere. Who knew what sort of arcane knowledge, lost secrets, or historic documents were shelved here? She doubted she’d be able to find out; past talks with the Princess were met with casual dismissal and even jest. But she understood that some things were kept secret for a reason.
That didn’t mean this room couldn’t taunt her, especially now of all times. She glanced to one side, finding an ornate desk tucked away in one pocket of the room where the evening sunlight couldn’t grasp as tightly. Princess Celestia sat behind it, her eyes hidden by shadow, and her nose pointed down at an open book on the tabletop. It looked like she didn’t even realize Twilight had entered. Twilight felt like she had just stumbled upon a humble giant: hesitant approach, but fearful of backing down. So her heart fluttered as she stood there awkwardly, waiting to be noticed and addressed.
Celestia closed the incredibly thin book with a simple brush of her hoof, and gently pushed it aside. She lifted her head into the light and smiled. “Twilight Sparkle,” she said in that sweet, motherly tone of hers, “I’m happy to see you’ve have it here so quickly.”
Twilight let go of a forgotten breath and returned a smile of her own. “Oh, it’s not a problem at all!” she said, almost dancing forward on the tips of her hooves. “When I got your letter, I knew it had to be something very important. I didn’t want to waste any of your time so I got here as soon as I could.
“I hope I didn’t distract you from any plans you might have had,” Celestia added, a deep sincerity in her tone.
Twilight raised a hoof dismissively. “Oh, no, it’s perfectly fine,” she said. She paused when she received a curious look and bit her lip. “Er... well, my friends did want to come with me here, but your letter explicitly stated that you wanted to see me by myself.”
“I do,” Celestia said with a nod. Her gaze then glossed over Twilight like one might inspect an heirloom for damage. “But at the same time, I don’t want to be getting between you and your friends.”
“I have plenty of time for my friends,” Twilight was quick to reassure. “And they understand that you said this thing you wanted to talk about had to be between just the two of us.”
Celestia returned to a statuesque position at her desk. “Did you cancel any plans with your friends to come see me?” she asked.
Twilight tried to lift a hoof and remark, but she up just hanging her head and sighing. It was foolish of her to try and hide something from Princess Celestia, even more so to think she could get away with it. “Yes,” she admitted shamefully. “We were going to watch tonight’s meteor shower together but I thought that this meeting was more important and in your letter it sure did sound like it was and I thought—”
“Twilight,” Celestia interrupted, her expression unchanged. “I appreciate your earnestness, I really do, but I want you to understand that of all ponies, I can wait. The time you share with your friends is a precious thing that should never go to waste.”
Celestia might not have shown in, but deep down Twilight knew she was disappointed in her. She blushed from embarrassment and looked away, as if for a place to hide, but there was nowhere to run to. She looked back and said, “I... I’m sorry, Princess.”
“Perhaps I should be the one apologizing,” Celestia mumbled, more so to herself, and she stood up from her seat. “Nevertheless, what matters is that you’re here now. I’m sure you’re wondering why I called you here in the first place.”
She turned, motioning for Twilight to follow, and walked out onto the balcony. There seemed to be an invisible weight across the Princess’s back, Twilight noted, which left her feeling a little concerned. Twilight knew she had just let her down—which sickened her to just think about—but at first glance, this had nothing to do with her. Only now was she actually considering the implications of Celestia’s letter. Had she done something wrong? Was Equestria in danger? The level of preparedness she found herself lacking unnerved her, but she decided it wasn’t worth worrying about right now. She figured she’d be learning its true meaning soon enough, anyways.
She gave all the bookshelves a passing glance before stepping out onto the balcony. It was exceptionally small, like it was never designed with holding more than one pony in mind. But Celestia squeezed herself to one side, allowing just enough room for Twilight. The Princess closed the doors shut behind them and seated herself on the smooth marble floor, but Twilight chose to remain standing. Her chin was just above the railing at this height, which let her get a nice view of the landscape below.
A gentle breeze wafted up to her and curiously ran its fingers through her mane. The setting sun was low and behind the structure that made Celestia’s study, casting a shadow down on them. In fact, since this balcony sat over the very edge of the castle and therefore Canterlot mountain itself, it seemed to cast a shadow down on all of Equestria. Far beyond, Twilight saw that nondescript mountain and what appeared to be the moon just starting to emerge above its peak.
“Dusk is my favorite time of day,” Celestia chimed beside her. The suddenness of her voice would have startled her if it wasn’t so mellow. “I don’t ever forget, but I admit to becoming so engrossed in politics and routine, I sometimes overlook the things that matter most. I find myself failing to appreciate the world around me because I get so caught up in it.” She chuckled briefly, looking out at the horizon. “I suppose you could say it’s difficult for me to ‘stop and smell the roses’ every once in awhile.”
Twilight gave her a quizzical look. She already knew being a princess was hard work, but she didn’t understand why she was being told this now. Maybe Celestia just wanted to share some alone time with her. Maybe she wanted to go on a vacation? That’d be something important. Twilight wondered if she would be given charge of something in Celestia’s absence, in which case, what she’d have to be taught. There was no way the Princess would just dump something on her overnight.
She shook her head and shoved her absurd—if not too outlandish—thoughts away, telling herself to just listen. For now, that seemed to be all she could do anyway.
Celestia sighed lightly. “And yet, I can’t. Somepony has to be where I stand, watching over the kingdom, being that pony for others to look up to, being the one to make all the impossible decisions, knowing the fates of countless lives rest in my hooves. Even with Luna, I hardly get the time for breaks, and even then I get distracted. I can never seem to find the time to just enjoy myself the same way I ensure the rest of Equestria can. I’m a pony too after all, but if anything, that’s what I always appear to be forgetting.” She shook her head. “No, I’m no martyr, but to ‘stop and smell the roses’ is a luxury I just can’t afford.”
Twilight stared blankly at her. What in the world was the Princess going on about? Did she want to pass some legal job to Twilight to help ease her workload? Of course, she’d be more than willing to help the Princess, and Twilight knew she was certainly capable, but she was so unprepared. She wondered what job she would have to do. It would probably be something simple like filing tax reports. Maybe she’d sign a bill or two into law. It wouldn’t be something like raising the sun, that’s for sure.
Wait, what if the Princess was wanting to retire? Would she have to raise the sun? Twilight didn’t know how to raise the sun! She couldn’t!
“And I accept that fact for all that it’s worth,” Celestia calmly stated, tearing Twilight away from her intrusive thoughts. “I understand there’s a modern lifestyle I will probably never have, but somepony has to shoulder all this weight and I’m the only one in a position to handle it.” She tilted her head slightly, just enough to see Twilight out of the corner of her eye. “I’m sure you’re confused as to why I’m telling you this.”
“Uhm...”
“To be honest, I am too a little, but I digress.” A soft glow appeared around her horn and Twilight blinked in surprise to see a book suddenly between them. She quickly realized this was the book she had seen Celestia reading earlier, but now she was able to get her first good look at it.
The binding was old and deteriorated, hard and brown like the earth, cracked and fraying at the edges. She thought the book was thin before, but now that she could see it clearly, it was just ridiculous. There were probably no more than a dozen pages in it. The pages themselves were so thick it was hilarious, but that at least allowed to her to get a good approximation of the book’s age. Her head snapped back when she finally got that this might be one of the oldest books she’d ever seen.
“This is actually the first known book ever made, not written nor etched but forged by a magical process that will likely forever remain a mystery,” Celestia said, confirming and then transcending her suspicions, and her eyes only widened more. The Princess floated the book closer to her eyes and she impassively stared at its cover. “It has no title, author, or known creator, but I like to call it Reason, because that’s all it’s about. That’s all it’s ever done.”
“It... reasons?” Twilight asked, trying to get a grasp on what she was being told. “Like, with the reader?”
“Sort of,” Celestia mused and turned to look at her. “It’s an incredibly dangerous magical artifact that was crafted in an unknown time before even I was born, far before the advent of the manuscript, dare I suggest even written language itself. Luna thinks that Epiphany is a more suitable name for it, but regardless of what it’s called, all that matters is what it does.”
Twilight stopped to catch herself. “It... reasons.”
“It answers,” Celestia finally said. “I can guarantee that in this book there is a completely sound, reasonable, factual answer to each and every question a pony could ever have.” She trailed off, turning back to watch the book float idly in her aura, apparently lost in thought. If she wasn’t the Princess, Twilight would’ve thought it looked like she didn’t know what to do with it.
And she wanted to say something, but all Twilight could do was look on in fascination. There were more questions stirring in her head than she knew how to deal with, but she understood clearly the gravity of what she was being told. Who knew what kind of miracles could be accomplished with such an omniscient book? According to the Princess, it knew everything there was to know about the universe! Progress of civilization would skyrocket! Scientific advancement would be exponential! Every theory would either get disproved or become fact so quickly it was mind-numbing just to try and comprehend.
Although, she couldn’t help but ponder over what made this book “incredibly dangerous,” or for that matter why she was only hearing of its existence now. Something like this had to be shared with the entire world.
Celestia sighed and gently set the book down on the railing. “Twilight,” she started breathily, instantly regaining her student’s attention. “I’m telling you this because over the years, you’ve shown some real potential, but I don’t think you know that quite yet. You’re capable of so many things, my little pony, so much more than either of us truly know.” She motioned with her head back into the study. “My private library and all it contains, a bounty of knowledge I’ve kept secret from the outside world, is now open to you.”
Celestia picked the old book back up and presented it to her. “But I want you to read this first.”
It took a second for Twilight to process the information, and when finally did her jaw nearly disconnected. Stunned, her head went light for a moment and Twilight fell back onto her haunches. She simply had no proper way to respond to all this—yes, this was basically a dream come true, but it was happening way too fast! She showed no resistance as the Princess used her magic to place the old book in her hooves. The covers had the texture of rough sandpaper and now that she held it, there was an uncanny feeling that there was something dead inside. Oddly, that’s what pulled her from her awestruck state of mind and through the disbelief, she mustered the courage to say something.
“Why?” she finally asked, unsure of even what she directed the question towards.
“Well, you are a princess now,” Celestia said, sparing a glimpse back out over the horizon. Twilight followed her gaze and blinked in surprise at how quickly night had befallen. The moon was now rising steadily through the sky and twinkling stars were already boring holes through the atmosphere. “I believe you’re ready for one more lesson,” she added.
Twilight shook her head. “B-but I’m not a princess princess, I’m just... Is this a test of some kind? I don’t... Th-this is a lot to take in all of the sudden!”
“I can imagine. And, ultimately, it’s your decision whether or not you read the book,” Celestia stated. “But it should be fair for me to warn you that you may not like what you find.”
“I don’t understand,” Twilight whispered. She lifted the book up and realized it was heavier than it seemed. “What makes something like this dangerous?”
“Because it reasons,” Celestia deadpanned. “Ponies are not reasoning machines, and similarly we live in a meaningful world. But our minds trick ourselves into thinking otherwise. We end up believing there’s an explanation for everything and in the pursuit of knowledge, we destroy all its meaning.” She sighed. “I want to teach you something, Twilight, but I myself don’t know what you’ll end up learning, and that’s what worries me.”
“I...” Twilight mumbled, trying to get her thoughts together. “I-I don’t follow. You’re worried I might learn something?”
“I’m worried you might end up taking something away that you can never give back,” Celestia said, her eyes wandering up to the starlit sky. “But at the same time, you could come to realize something important about yourself and the world we live in. An epiphany, I suppose,” she added, allowing herself a tiny smile.
Twilight said nothing to that and glanced down at the old book in her hooves. She caressed the cover lightly, feeling its roughness scratch at her hoof rather than the other way around. It alone could, supposedly, answer any question she had. In fact, she could’ve been looking inside it for all these questions instead, but for she found herself hesitant. Of course, she always looked up to the Princess and trusted her and her wisdom with all her heart, but now that she was being given a choice of her own, she found herself lost.
She looked up to Celestia and asked, “When you first found the book, what questions did you have?”
“Luna found it first, actually,” she explained, “and after discovering what it was, she immediately wanted to destroy it. In retrospect, I can understand why she’d want for something I found to be so arrogant and uncalled for at the time. But I ended up swiping it before she could, and, well...”
Twilight tried her best not to show it, but she couldn’t help but be taken aghast. Her mind was already swimming, but this? Princess Celestia stealing? She would have dismissed it if anypony else had said it. She was flabbergasted by what would drive her, the greatest pony who ever lived, the model pony she always looked up to and even aspired to be, to do something as petty as theft and from her sister no less.
Celestia cleared her throat. “The first thing I wanted to know was what everybody is always asking. I wanted to know the meaning of life.”
Twilight once more was drawn back to earth by Celestia’s words. The seconds ticked by until curiosity got the better of her and she asked, “What is it?”
Celestia took a pause that was much longer than either of them would’ve liked. “I didn’t find an answer,” she said plainly and with a shrug.
Twilight gave her a nonplussed look. “But you said this book had every answer there is?” she said, bemused. She tried to raise the old book only to discover she couldn’t, as if an invisible chain tethered it to the floor, preventing it from ascending any higher. Her attention shifted downward and she blinked in surprise to see a golden shod hoof patting its cover. With every dainty tap it felt like she was going to lose her grip on the thing.
“It does,” Celestia reassured in a whisper, retracting her hoof. “But what good is searching if nothing’s there to find? With that in mind, and even though Luna disagrees, I still think keeping it around is a good idea. It serves as a reminder that not everything can be explained with logic or understood by reason.”
Twilight slowly frowned. “That’s kind of paradoxical.”
“I suppose it is,” Celestia replied, straightening her back from a slump Twilight hadn’t yet noticed. “But I think I’ve done enough rambling for tonight. You can leave that old book on my desk when you’re done with it. Feel free to spend as much time in my study afterwards.”
She tried to talk back, but Twilight couldn’t properly put her thoughts together, so she pressed her lips closed and retreated to herself. She didn’t even know what she wanted to say. Did she want an explanation? She’d already gotten one, hadn’t she? She couldn’t shake the idea that the Princess had been overly cryptic with what she was saying, telling her things without actually saying what they were. Why couldn’t she just be told everything she needed to know?
Twilight spared the old book in her hooves only a passing glance before opening her mouth. “What are you going to do?”
Celesia didn’t answer immediately. “I don’t know,” she said with a smile, crossing her forelegs over the railing and resting her head on top of them. “I think I actually found some time to stop and smell the roses.”
Twilight said nothing to that, then slowly she stood up and took the book in her magic. It didn’t feel so weird now that she wasn’t physically touching it, but as soon as she took her first step, she had the sense she was about to trip. It felt like the old book was tugging at her, leading her through the balcony doors and back into Princess Celestia’s study.
It gave her pause when she noticed how unexpectedly dark the room was, even in the faint glow given off by her magic, and the doors swayed shut behind her with a click. The book took her to the center of the room before settling over Celestia’s desk, where Twilight gingerly yet precariously set it down on the tabletop. She shivered in surprise when a pressure she hadn’t felt lifted off of her. The soft magenta of her aura winked out, and everything went dark.
Twilight blinked in the shadows and looked up to the skylight. Where the sun would usually be shining through with all its warmth and illuminating the room to its fullest, sat the moon. It too was shining, sure, but in no way did it match the luminescence of the sun. A bundle of stars winked at her, as if they were trying to make up for the lack of light, but even their combined effort was not enough.
She blinked again and then cast a spell, sending a tiny ball of light up halfway to the ceiling, which pushed back the shadows just enough to see what she was doing. She gave herself a small nod before turning back to the old book.
“Reason, huh?” she mumbled, stepping up to the edge of the table. Celestia’s empty seat presented itself to her, vacant and angled in such a way it was inviting, but she thought better of it. She didn’t need to sit down to see the book clearly. She lifted a hoof and slowly placed it on the cover, once more becoming tense and the hairs on her neck stood on end. She felt vertigo and the only way down seemed to be the book, and she even expanded her wings as if it would catch her nonexistent fall. The rough texture of the cover seemed to grab at her, like it was trying to bite her, and when the idea finally settled that something was amiss she pulled away.
She glanced back up to the balcony doors, and through the glass she saw the blurred form of Princess Celestia. Sighing lightly, she averted her gaze to the impressive bookcases that lined the interior. Outlines of scrolls, whole stacks of envelopes, and an immensity of tomes were seated away behind thin glass. But the light of her spell just wasn’t enough to give her any good details. She glimpsed at the balcony doors one more time before quietly walking up to one of the cabinets.
Her head tilted to the side as tried to make out one particular book, but the glass was foggier than she remembered and her image was unfocused. Her horn flashed briefly and the ball of light wavered closer to her, showering the bookcase with its light, but it still didn’t help much. Nonetheless, she placed a hoof on the glass and peered inside, noting the fragile condition of the books. She wondered if they’d fall apart if she were to pick one up. Not that she would risk it, of course, and she definitely wouldn’t without asking or reading Reason first, like Celestia had told her. But that old book mystified her for reasons she couldn’t explain. She wanted to read it, and she wanted to read this whole library, but she couldn’t seem to pull herself to do so.
She looked over her shoulder towards the desk in the center of the room, where the old book stood out like a void in the darkness. Something was definitely off about that thing, and now Twilight found herself wandering with her mind. She turned back to the bookcase she stood in front of and peered inside again, as if the answer to everything sat on the other side of the glass.
Twilight squinted and noticed a layer of dust covering the shelf in front of her, and her eyes widened when she realized everything inside was covered in dust. It wasn’t a thin layer either, and her heartbeat steadily increased with concern. She quickly raced around the room, dragging the ball of light behind her, and saw that each and every document was covered beneath a thick layer of dust. There was no way Princess Celestia would consciously just leave everything here in such an ill state! Everywhere she looked she was discovering smudges on the glass, bits of old spines flaking off, seals coming undone, and even a cobweb here and there. How she had never seen this before confounded her, but she disregarded all that for now. What mattered most was saving all this knowledge from degrading away.
She leapt across the room to the balcony doors, intent on alarming the Princess about this revelation, when something stopped her halfway. She glanced to the side at that old book, sitting on the desk right where she had left it. Like those in the shelves, it too was weathered and visibly broken. She stared at the thing and it stared back at her, and seconds turned to minutes as her thoughts came together and finally clicked. Twilight felt her tension fade and she paused to look all around her, at the bounty of knowledge nestled just beyond her reach. She thought back to everything Celestia had told her and then her attention focused downward, back to that one, lone, lexicon of a book. The ball of light quietly died and left her in perpetual darkness.
Another minute passed before she finally walked back over to the balcony. Gently, she nudged the doors open and stepped out onto the terrace. Princess Celestia was exactly where Twilight had left her, the moon was now at its peak and shining brighter than ever before, and the cool sensations of the night returned to her. She gazed up to the sky, taking in all the lights and sounds it had to offer and everything else unbeknownst to her. She smiled with an amused snort, and sat down.
Twilight softly leaned against Celestia and, together in silence, they watched the first of many shooting stars streak across the sky.
Written by, RazgrizS57
Special thanks: Pilate and Redsquirrel456
Author's Note
The major inspiration for this story came from the song Epiphany, by Bad Religion.
