Princess Celestia put aside the scroll with a sigh. She had been trying to take her mind off the current situation with work, but her thoughts always returned to the incidents of the last weeks; The strange creature that had appeared when they had tried to summon a suitable minion for Luna, his wild rampage through the castle and the streets of Canterlot, their visit into his shattered mind, and the horrible sight of him burying his weapon inside his own chest.

For three weeks Luna had stayed by the side of the creature calling himself Krieg, and for three weeks he had not waken up; each hour spent by his side making Luna fall deeper into sadness. It was touching to see her care so deeply about him, but it also pained Celestia to see her sister like this.

Much to Celestia's surprise though, the doors to her chamber were opened and a smiling Luna entered.

"Luna... you're in a good mood." Celestia watched her in wonder.

"Of course, dear sister." Luna chimed. "My minion has finally risen again and-" she stopped and suddenly looked around herself in wonder. "That's strange..."

"Is something the matter?" Celestia asked with worry.

Luna stared at the empty space behind her. "Krieg... he was behind me only a second ago," she raised an eyebrow. "Where could he be?"

Celestia deadpanned. "Sister, are you telling me that the creature is currently on the loose inside our castle?"

Luna cringed. "I wouldn't call it on the loose... he was a lot calmer than usual..."

"Does he have his weapon?" Celestia asked with a dry voice.

Again, Luna cringed and put on an apologetic look.

Celestia let out a groan. "Why did you give him his weapon?"

"He seemed so happy to have it back..." Luna answered with a nervous smile. "He even hugged me for minutes when I gave it to him..." she saw Celestia's expression. "Worry not, my sister. He is under control now and much calmer than before, I'm sure that there won't be any problems at all..." she started to slink towards the doors. "Still... I may just have a look what he is doing..." and with that, she shot off and through the doors again, leaving a frowning Celestia behind.

Celestia shook her head. "Sometimes I wonder what goes on in that head of hers..." her expression turned sour as she remembered the scenes they had seen in his mind. "Though I definitely don't want to know what's currently going on inside his head." She returned to her work, feeling slightly at ease now that her sister was happy again, but at the same time trying futilely to forget that the creature was now roaming the castle.

She could only pray that Luna would find him quickly and before he could cause another panic.

"Run faster!" Flash Sentry screamed. "He's almost onto us!"

Next to him, Spike was sprinting with a ferocity that only pure terror could fuel. "Why is he even here!? I thought he had died!"

The two had been in a conversation and heading for Twilight's chamber when the nightmare called Krieg had suddenly lurched around a corner and shot straight towards them with maniacal laughter. The conversation had ended at this point and the two had simultaneously opted that running was a good idea.

"IMMORTAL!" Krieg thundered behind the two as he happily shook his buzz axe in the air, causing the two in front of him to give a yelp and increase their pace.

Weren't we supposed to follow the princess?

"I CAN TASTE YOUR FLESH! GIVE ME MY SALT!"

Okay...

"Split up at the next junction!" Flash Sentry managed to speak during his dash. "The one he doesn't follow can get the princesses!"

"Easy for you to say! My legs are way too short for running!" Spike protested.

"Just do it!" Flash Sentry barked at him.

Why are we chasing these two again?

"YOU MADE ME VOMIT! MUAHAHAHA!"

Flash Sentry and Spike reached another junction. "Now!" Flash Sentry bellowed and shot off to the right, Spike following his example and darting to the left. Behind them, Krieg didn't even hesitate when presented with the question of who he should follow.

"RUN! RUN! RUN! RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN! I CAN STILL CATCH YOU! I'M THE BACON-CAN-MAN!"

"This can't be happening!" Flash Sentry wailed as Krieg continued to chase him. "Why can't you just leave me alone!?"

Are you still angry because he kicked you in the back?

Behind Flash Sentry, Krieg started to sing as he occasionally beat his axe against the walls in full pace to match the rhythm. "KILL! KILL! KILL!" -CLANG- "WHAT A FANTASTIC THRILL!" -CLANG- "SICK OF BUYING NEW BRIEFS AFTER EVERY TRIP TO CHIPOTLE?" -CLANG- "CHIPOTLAWAY TO WASH THAT BLOOD AWAY!" -CLANG- "SQUEAL FOR ME!"

"Celestia! Help me!"

Celestia picked her head up from the scroll with a slightly perplexed expression, looked around herself for a moment in confusion, and returned to her work with a small shrug.

"Here minion!" Luna called out as she searched the corridors. "Come on, boy. Where are you, Krieg? Oh... where did he go this time?" it had only been an hour since they had left the hospital and already he had run off again. "So much for having him under control." She groaned. She bent down to look under a piece of furniture before remembering his size. For a moment, she felt tempted to whistle.

"Princess!" a shout pulled her from her search and caused her to look up as Spike shot down the corridor and towards her with big eyes. "Princess Luna, you've got to do something!"

"Spike? What is it?" she silently prayed that Krieg hadn't eaten one of the guards.

Flash Sentry was going to die, he was sure of it now. After an ill-chosen corner, he had found himself in a dead end. The creature would probably beat him to death first with that terrible axe and then eat him. Krieg stepped around the corner with fire in his blood-shot eye. "IT'S TIME FOR THE MEAT!"

Flash Sentry turned around and cowered, closing his eyes as he awaited the final blow and whispering a short prayer. "Please let it be over fast..."

What he felt next though, wasn't quite what he had expected.

When princess Luna and Spike finally found the two, a full minute passed as they stared at the sight in front of them in complete and utter silence.

There was Flash Sentry, tied up and gagged in what appeared to be a cord from one of the curtains; struggling against his bonds with his rear raised up into the air, as a laughing Krieg continued to barrage it with slaps.

"What in the world..." Spike finally managed to stammer with a dumbfounded voice. "I mean, why in all of Equestria would he-" he made an agitated motion with his tiny hands as he tried to comprehend what he was seeing. "I mean, he just- and Flash- ARGH! Why can't I ever have a normal day!?" he threw his hands into the air in desperation.

Luna rubbed her temples. "At least he hasn't hurt him..." she raised an eyebrow as she heard Flash Sentry give a muffled squeal. "Not physically..."

Taking no notice of their presence, Krieg continued his slapping assault with unending vigor and his hands turned into a blur of motion. "MOVING FASTER THAN THE WIND! QUIETER THAN A FOREST!"

Oh god, here comes the song...

"BOLDER THAN FIRE ITSELF! SQUEALING LOUDER THAN ANY DIRTY PIG!"

Don't say it...

Krieg leaned his back head and shouted out for the world to hear. "SPANKING FURINKATION!"

And just when I thought I could let you off the leash a bit...

Spike gave the two a deadpanned look before turning to Luna. "Correct me if I'm wrong, princess. But... isn't he supposed to be the minion with skills best suited for your needs?"

Luna closed her eyes with a shudder. "That's what the spell was intended for, yes."

The little dragon flinched as a particularly loud slap followed by a matching squeal from Flash Sentry reached him. "So..." Luna grimaced since she already knew what he was about to ask her next. "What exactly do you need that skill for?"

Please don't tell me you're into this kind of stuff...

Luna let out a groan. "Oh, be quiet. Both of you."

Spike tilted his head in confusion. "Both of us?"

At least the mind thing is still working... Dude, aren't you growing tired by now?

"RIDE THE BURNING FENCE! THESE CURTAINS AREN'T RED ENOUGH YET!" the Spanking Furinkation continued, accompanied by Krieg's song and Flash Sentry's squeals.

Guess that means no...

Author's Note

So... who knows where the burning furnikation originally comes from?