The Princess and her Flying Axe

It would have been a pleasant day in Ponyville. The weather was warm, the sky was clear, everything was nice. The ponies went about their lives, happy with the peace that seemed to last forever. Applejack was one of those enjoying the day. Seated behind her stand, business was going well and the customers were pleasant. There was even time for a little conversation with passing ponies now and then, picking up the news and chatter of the day. It would have been a pleasant day...

"COME FLY WITH US!"

Applejack looked around herself in confusion as she heard the savage scream, followed by a loud thwack... followed only a moment later by something colorful and screaming shooting into her stand, sending apples flying in all directions and making her jump back in surprise. "What in tarnation?" she did a check of the projectile that had landed in her stand. "Rainbow Dash?"

"Hi, Applejack." Rainbow Dash croaked as she lay between the remains of the stand.

"Just what in the name of all of Equestria do you think you're doing? Didn't Ah tell you not to practice your stunts near my stand?"

"Not a stunt..." Rainbow Dash groaned as she struggled to get to her hooves. "This is so totally not awesome."

"Dash!" Applejack picked her head up to see Fluttershy land next to them with a panicked expression. "Rainbow Dash, are you alright?"

"Just a bit shaken..." Rainbow Dash tried to act unfazed, but the way she wobbled around on shaky hooves painted quite a different picture. "At least we now know that kicking him isn't a good idea..." she rubbed her head. "What the buck is that guy made of anyway? It's like punching a brick wall!"

"Who now?" Applejack in confusion. "Fluttershy, what's going on here? What is..."

Her question was cut off as something jumped from one of the rooftops and landed on one of the other stands in an explosion of dust and assorted spices, the pony behind the stand jumping for safety in terror as its bakery supply stand was reduced to rubble.

"Oh, boy..." Rainbow Dash gulped.

At first Applejack could only see dust and broken wood. But then, she saw something bizarre rise out of the broken stand... she saw a muscle-covered torso, yellow-clad legs, something that looked like an axe... and the most raged-filled eye she had ever seen.

Do you smell cinnamon?

"SUGAR AND SPICE AND EVERYTHING NICE! LIVERS, KIDNEYS AND HEARTS! I'LL CHOP AND I'LL DICE!" Krieg raised the buzz axe above him with a mad laugh. "SPICE UP YOUR LIFE!"

I like cinnamon.

"What in tartarus is that?!" Applejack asked with a shocked face.

"Don't know..." Rainbow Dash staggered and took a defensive stance. "But it sure can throw a punch. Fluttershy! Stay back while Applejack and I..." she paused. "Fluttershy? Where'd she go?"

"Look at what you did to that poor pony's stand!" both Dash and Applejack were surprised to see the timid pegasus hover in front of Krieg with an angered expression. "And how could you just throw poor Rainbow Dash like that?"

For a moment, it seemed like the raging maniac was about to attack. But instead, it pointed a finger shaking with fury towards Rainbow Dash. "THESE BUTTPLUGS AREN'T PROPERLY STERiLIZED!"

"I know she was mean to you..." Fluttershy tried to soothe him.

"Hey! What do you mean I was mean to him?"

"But that is no way to act. Now, calm down..." Krieg's twitching visibly slowed down.

She's pretty good. I wonder if she does stuff like this often...

Just as it seemed that Krieg was about to finally calm down, another figure stepped around the corner and onto the market... a small, purple figure with scales no less.

Spike for one, was happy to be back from Canterlot. Twilight still had things to take care of up there, but that was of little concern to him at this point. After all, the farther he was away from the castle, the farther away he would be from... Spike shuddered as he remembered the last ordeal he had suffered under Krieg and pushed the memories away again. He was back in Ponyville, and everything promised a nice, peaceful and quiet day.

The idea of a pleasant day was shattered to pieces though, as he stepped around another corner and stopped to look at the scene in front of him in wonder.

There was Fluttershy, next to Applejack... why was her stand wrecked? He spotted Fluttershy and in front of her... Spike froze and his gaze traveled upwards to lock eyes with the blood-shot eye he had come to know all too well.

Hey, it's the little guy! What's his name again? Spike?

Krieg raised his buzz axe into the air to happily greet the little dragon. "PURPLE RAIN!"

Spike gave him one look, turned around on the spot... "Nope." and started to hastily walk in the opposite direction. "Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope." With each repetition, his pace increased... and after the corner he broke into a sprint. A sprint that was only fueled by the commotion that broke loose behind him.

It would have been a pleasant day in Ponyville... were it not for the muscled and laughing maniac at his heels swinging a buzz axe.

Princess Luna let a tired sigh escape her as she stepped out of Rarity's boutique. Now that Rarity had been seen to, she still had to find Krieg and she silently prayed that he had not gone on another rampage in her absence. "This could have been such a pleasant day..." she hung her head. "What will I ever do with him?" her face sagged a bit. "Provided that I find him first."

The matter of finding Krieg turned out to be a simple one... Not even a minute after she had left the boutique, sounds of rampage and screams could be heard drawing closer... and above all of them, one could be heard laughing with maniacal glee. Luna let out a small sob of despair. "And here we go again."

"HOLD ON TO YOUR SEATS! THIS TRAIN IS NOW OFF THE CHARTS!"

"Let go of Fluttershy!"

"Ah can't hold him!"

Accompanied by the screams, first Spike shot into view... little feet pedaling furiously to keep up his speed. Shortly after, the very subject of her sorrow appeared with a cloud of dust trailing him and attached to him... Luna had to do a second check to be sure, but there was no doubt.

Tucked under one of Krieg's arms was the yelping Fluttershy, while a screaming Rainbow Dash was desperately clinging to his back and flying behind was Applejack... holding onto the end of the rope attached to Krieg's waist in a futile attempt to slow him down.

"Why can't you just leave me alone?!" Spike gave a wail of despair at the front before spotting Luna and turning his direction towards her. "Do something! Save me!"

"I CAN'T CONTAIN ALL THESE LEMONS! GIVE ME SOME SUGAR!"

"Leave me alone!"

"I CAN'T HEAR YOU!"

Luna saw Spike run towards her, but most worryingly... she saw Krieg's gaze lock onto her.

Found her!

With an insane burst of speed, Krieg picked up Spike in his other arm and with the screaming dragon in his grasp he made a straight line for Luna... without slowing down in the slightest.

"Krieg! Stop!" Luna held up her hooves in a frantic attempt to protect herself, but Krieg simply ignored her panicking face. "Oh, no! No no no!"

"TO THE MOON!"

It would have been a pleasant day in Ponyville... at least for those fortunate enough not to be buried under the pile of three groaning ponies, one shouting alicorn princess and the still-laughing maniac seated on top of the pile as he tossed a little dragon up and down in the air like a ball.