At 10:05 P.M. on a warm summer night a train passed through the trees of Canterlot. Steam rose from the ground and the train each appearing to race. Beneeth a glass roof you could see only a few passengers. A beautiful Unicorn woman with her Pegasus daughter in onesie pajamas on her chest sleeping. A mysterious Pegasus man in a long gray detective coat and large brown fedora only with his hands visable. A crotchety old Earth woman with gray-blue hair in a beehive and oqauqe glasses and a young unicorn couple. One was not showing any emotion other than fear and nervousness. He was a young unicorn male around 27 years old. His horn and T-shirt were yellow and his hair, eyes and sneakers were blue. He had jeans and white shoe laces. His face had no imperfections and he had a blue star and moon on his cheek. He had five suitcases red,orange,yellow,green and blue. He opened a graphic novel called "Ma Jhitl Poni:Six little kicks" not looking at the "Rated XXX, not for the public" warning sticker. He looked at the adult graphic novel until the old woman noticed him.
"STOP THE BUS TOM! JEFFREY TOOK THE KNIFE OUT!" The old woman said throwing her glasses of by mistake prior to yelling.
"Madame, I'm Trainster not Tom. And that young man isn't named Jeffery I think he's Comet Tail." The Conductor said. "And this is a train not a bus."
"Train, Bus, Trainster, Tom, Comet Tail, Jeffrey, whatever, BUT HE'S HOLDING A KNIFE AND READY TO KILL YA'LL!" The old woman said.
"Uh, I'm sorry old lady but I'm holding a graphic novel, not a knife. I think your going senile." Comet Tail said informing the old woman "Not to be rude though."
"WHAT YOUNG MAN! MY NAME IS NOT LADY! MY NAME IS MARGE AND I SAW A KNIFE!" She yelled. "GO TO TARTURUS YOU LITTLE...!"
"Canterlot Castle Train Station! I think Glimmerete, her daughter Moonsie, the couple Glow and Glistener, Code name XXY a.k.a Shooter and Comet Tail are to get off!" The conductor said.
"Fuck It! Ya'll damn good revealed my secret identity! Im'a gonna fucking damn kill y'all." The covered man said as everyone else gathered their luggage and left. He took out a gun and shot the conductor in the head. With no damage to the brainstem and cerebrum he passed out and bled until the gangster thought he was dead before getting up and running to a hospital. Comet Tail went to the princesses castle to see his fiancée and her family. Twilight later opened the door in her purple dress with a layered bottom half. She had a hot pink sash around her waist and her black square glasses. Her skin was light but showing her Asian heritage and her eyes glimmered with the light. She had cream silken gloves and her left cheek was blessed with stars. She was now 25 about 5 years older than when they stood together in college.
"Comet!" She said running towards her fiancé.
"Twilight! Twilight!" He said hugging her before they shared a elegant kiss. She broke the kiss and held his hand to show her the family he'd be joining
"Here's my mother Twilight Velvet." She said showing him her mother. Her skin was beautiful making her look less than her actual age of 51,
"I never knew your mom had you as a teen," Comet said fooled by her young appearence.
"What did you say!? Now I know why mother-in-laws are hated! They're son-in-law causes the hate by snarky comments!" She said. She had her hair in the style as a pony and a white dress with a small magenta belt around the waist that's gained a bit. She had lilac gloves and lilac high heels. She stormed up.
"Comet, my mom has a berserk button and..." Twilight began before her husband-to-be interrupted her.
"Yeah, yeah. She goes insane when you do something she hates." Comet said.
"Well I'll show you my dad Nightlight. He's a bit more relaxed." Twilight said, Night Light appeared to be more relaxed shown to his future son-in-law. He was a year older than his wife and where the Japanese side of the family comes from. He had dark blue hair that was combed thoroughly and wore a black suit and tie. He had black dress shoes which caught Comet's eyes.
"Umm... What's with the dress shoes, are you a cross dresser?" Comet asked.
"Umm... There was that one time with the girls only shop so I could spy when I was 17 but no!" He said in a voice like Homer Simpson. This caught Comet's attention as well.
"Honey, your dad sounds like Homer from The Simpsons." Comet whispered to Twi.
"Yeah, but don't mention it, he gets upset." Twilight responded. "Let's go see my brother Shining armor."
"Hello, how ya doing Twily." Her BBBFF said to her.
"Good, just wanted you to meet my fiancé. He had a human version of Shining's suit and was a humanized version. He was now 34 and had a child. He made lots of rules.
"Let's meet the other Alicorns. If your fiancée wasn't enough." Twi said fluttering her glittering eyes. "Here's Cadence, she's Shining's wife and Skyla's mom."
"Who the fricken Tartarus is Skyla?" Comet asked.
"I'll show you later, and don't swear, she's only 5 and might repeat you at kindergarten." Twilight said. "And here, is Princess Mi Amore Cadenza!"
Cadence was truly a beautiful mare which caused Comet Tail to gaze upon her beauty. Twilight gently flicked his shoulder to gain his attention. She had a dress like Twilight's like all the full grown princesses but her'swas light pink and golden, Luna's was blue and black and Celestia's was white and orange-yellow. Skyla was different though, she had a golden small tiara like on all the others but it was barely staying on her head. She also had a dress with a pink top and puffy sleeves and a bottom colored like her mane with frilly trim.
"I'm tired," Comet said. "Bed time." Comet said. He turned out to share a bed with Twilight as he brushed his teeth and put on pajamas. He slept like a baby as did she. At 2:05 A.M. He was in for a big shock. A loud scream.
"Wake up, wake up." Night Light and Shining Armor said.
"WHAT THE HECK! WHY DID YOU WAKE ME UP! WHY ARE THERE HEADPHONES ON ME AND WHY DIDN'T TWILIGHT WAKE UP!?" Comet said angerly.
"We did this with Shining, and me, grandpa, great grandpa and back to the days of ancient Japan, before we were married we drank at a bar or something with all the other men in the household." Night Light explained.
"Fine but why didn't Twilight wake up." Comet asked.
"We gave her earplugs along with every other woman and girl. They'll spoil the fun." Shining said.
"Okay but LET'S GO MOTHAFUCKERS!" Comet said putting on his clothes to catch up. They ran out the door and hopped in a car as Night Light drove to a local bar called Tavern n' bar. They hopped out and entered. The I.D. clerk looked them over.
"Night Light, Shining, yer free ta' go, the small frys gonna need some I.D. how old are ya?" The clerk asked Comet Tail.
"27 sir," Comet said giving the clerk his I.D.
"Go in "Comet Tail"." He said. Comet gasped at the sight. Many men fighting, blood and even a few body parts on the floor. Some men with eyepatch's, missing toes and fingers, some not blinking, some with holes in their stomach.
"C'mon Comet, don't be wussy," Night Light answered causing Comet Tail to come. "Three Moes Fist beers with extra froth please"
"Are you sure this place is safe?" Comet Tail asked, "I think someone's gonna disembowel me."
"C'mon, we never got hurt here!" Shining said.
"Order up." Said the distressed barmaiden. "Hold on I got a call."
"Hello, can I have Mike Huntsmells." Scootaloo said giggling.
"EXCUSE ME! MIKE HUNTSMELLS! MIKE HUNTSMELLS! LISTEN UP, MIKE HUNTSMELLS!" The barmaiden yelled.
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" The trio said throwing beer everywhere.
"Wait, My Cunt Smells, listen up you little brat. I'm gonna gut you and paint my bed with your brains when I find you!" The angry barmaiden said.
"Goodness! Must be a threat war!" Scootaloo's mother said picking up the phone at the last sentence to call the congress about gay rights.
"Isn't this great!" Night Light asked Comet Tail.
"Yeah! I haven't had this much fun since at six flags when I was 12!" Comet said "Hey! Lady! More beer please!" Comet said.
"I hate this job," The barmaiden said.
The trio had 8 drinks each before something happened. Comet Tail began to sing Rawest Forest slowed down drooling. Later Shining Armor joined in. Night Light then got up and thrusted a broken glass at Snowplow's stomach causing a fight to start. Snowplow threw a bruised Night Light into the glasses, then the singing duo as they were cut by the glass. They rewoke at 4:57 and walked around drunk as Filthy Rich and Diamond Tiara walked in. They threw filthy rich into a way and raped DT one by one. By the time she passed out it was 5:38 and they staggered out.
"Duh..." They said getting in the car without buckling their seatbelts. They took Snowplow, Rich and DT in to and crashed into a tree. They also wrecked the car and crashed into the castle. A loud boom woke everyone up and caused Skyla to cry. Cadence comforted her as everyone realized the men were missing. They found a car crashed into the castle.
"Oh no!" They all said. They flew the injured stallions to the ER where they awoke in bandages.
"Wha... What happened." Comet said.
"Can't remember." Shining said.
"I dunno what happened but I'm telling ya, that was one wild ride!" Night Light said.
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Everypony said.
"Here's the bill."the nurse said as if something was bothering her. It was nothing.
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Everyone says.
I end by saying HAHAHAHAHAHA!
