Dr. Horrible's Equestrian Story

Chapters

A Brand New Day
What I See
A Man's Gotta Do
Lost and Found
Sun and Moon
An Arrival
Useless
Return
Die

A Brand New Day

He sat in front of a computer. He simply stared at it for a time, wiping a gloved finger through the dust and grime, tracing the cracked screen, the camera that had long since broken.

No more blog.

He had given that up. That was from a different life. One where he wasn’t stained in her blood. But old habits die hard.

“It’s almost done,” he whispered to his own reflection. “Almost. Just a bit more.”

The man in the screen was haggard. He would inspire none of the terror that Dr. Horrible did. The goggles rested on his head, his sandy hair was as untidy as ever, the scarlet coat he had taken up was in pristine condition. But it wasn’t Horrible. It was hurt. It was broken. It was Billy.

It was disgusting.

***

The henchman held up a white bag, a green dollar sign clearly painted on the side. Not very subtle, but it was expected from a member of the Evil League of Evil.

“Where do ya wan’ dis, boss?” said the henchman in a pretended idiot’s accent.

“Put it with the rest,” commanded Dr. Horrible. He brandished the death ray on his forearm. “And don’t you lose a single pen— coin. Not. One. Coin.”

The nameless henchman nodded profusely and scurried out of the bank, to the armored van that waited outside.

Dr. Horrible scanned the bank lobby. It was the same everywhere. A squat, grey building, some windows, a carpet covered by cowering civilians that had been in the wrong place at the wrong time. The guard who had been reading a newspaper, unconscious. The officer who had reached for his firearm, dead.

The boss stepped over these bodies, hardly paying them any attention. He walked to the counter, looking over the wood at the cowering teller. She was a youngish woman, brown hair, unremarkable if not slightly cute.

“You know who I am.” It wasn’t a question.

The bank teller nodded in terror.

“Good,” said Dr. Horrible. “Take me to your vault.”

The teller was shaking. She couldn’t get to her feet.

Sirens sounded in the distance. Dr. Horrible sighed and squatted down next to the teller, lifting her chin with the barrel of his death ray. “Stand up. And take me to the vault.”

“I… I don’t have the key.” The woman began to sob. “I can’t open it.”

Dr. Horrible shook his head sadly. He looked down at the woman’s name tag. A siren sounded in the distance. “Dear Vanessa. Dear, dear Vanessa. That’s not what I said at all. I just want you to take me to the vault. Can you do that for me?”

The teller nodded and shakily got to her feet. Dr. Horrible gestured with his death ray. Vanessa flinched before making her way behind the counter, leading Dr. Horrible to the back of the bank. Two minions filed in behind them, each cradling a rather large automatic weapon.

The vault was unremarkable. There was no needlessly large steel door opened by an impossibly heavy wheel. It was just a door. Admittedly, it was 4-inch-thick steel door opened by an electronic keypad, that opened to a slightly thinner steel shutter that needed a key to open, but it was a door nonetheless.

“Most kind of you, Vanessa.” Dr. Horrible hefted his death ray. “You know what this is.” It wasn’t a question.

The woman nodded, her shaking growing stronger as she stared down the bright red and silver machine.

“Of course you do. But you don’t know how it works.” He roughly brushed a bit of dust off of the death ray. “I won’t bore you with the exact detail. There are two settings. One for organic, called Death, and one for inorganic, called Destruction. I fire it and things disappear.” Dr. Horrible pointed the ray at his minion and fired. The rather large automatic weapon vanished, replaced by a scattering of pink dust.

“Go replace that,” said Dr. Horrible. The minion scurried away. The villain turned and hefted his weapon again, this time at the inches of solid metal. He fired once. A jagged hole appeared in the middle of the door, a gap big enough to step through.

“You,” said Dr. Horrible to his minion, “escort Ms. Vanessa back to the lobby where she can cower in peace.” The minion nodded, roughly pushing the bank teller forward.

Dr. Horrible stepped into the vault, a wide room filled with hundreds of small drawers. He flung his death ray to the side, where it landed with a satisfying thud. He rubbed his forearm, trying to clean it of the residue left behind by that weapon, of the explosion, of Captain Hammer crying in pain, of the wound, of the blood that came from--

Dr. Horrible clamped down on that thought. That would be addressed shortly. Not yet. But shortly.

With a sigh, the figure in red surveyed the room.

“What kind of bank actually has a vault like this?” he wondered aloud. “And this whole ‘Cash for Gold and Jewels’. Seriously, it’s like they’re begging to be robbed.” Dr. Horrible shook his head, reaching for one of the drawers.

Locked.

Another sigh from the villain. He trekked over to his death ray, making sure that it was still set to ‘inorganic.’ It was, as per usual. He fired at the drawers, sending up sprays of jewelry. Dr. Horrible opened up his own bag, shoving fist after fist of shining objects into it.

“Not this,” he muttered to himself. “Not that. No. No. No.” At each rejection, he’d throw a golden piece into his obviously marked bag. “No. No. No!” The bag was heavy at that point. Dr. Horrible was panting. He put the bag down, allowing himself to slide to the floor.

“It’s not here,” he mumbled. “Damn it. Damn it.” He rubbed at his face with his gloved hands. “It’s not here.”

A glint caught his eye. A pink stone, polished bright.

Dr. Horrible stared for a moment. “That’s… that’s…” He scrambled towards the stone. Bright pink, irregular, shaped almost like a butterfly. “It’s perfect.”

“Freeze, Doctor!” shouted a voice from the demolished door. “Don’t move or I’ll put you on ice!”

Dr. Horrible nearly groaned. He turned, finding himself face to face with a man in a light-blue parka. His hair was snow-white and he carried a bright blue raygun. A snowflake was emblazoned across his chest.

“I really don’t want to deal with this, Johnny,” said Dr. Horrible.

Johnny Snow hefted his freeze ray. “What Dr. Horrible, does your blood run cold at the sight of your Arch Nemesis? Do you have no ice in your veins?”

“For the last time, I don’t have an Arch Nemesis. And it definitely wouldn’t be you.” Dr. Horrible rolled his eyes. “You can’t even make a good pun.”

Johnny Snow reeled back slightly. “That was cold, Doc. But this is it, I’m bringing you back to the freezer once and for all!”

“Seriously, you’ve even made up your own term for prison! It’s embarrassing!” Dr. Horrible pulled a box out of his pocket. He turned it in his hands, fiddling with it, adjusting it for the stone.

The hero tried to get a look at the box. “What’s that?”

“You wouldn’t get it,” muttered Dr. Horrible. “Not with your icebox of a head.”

“You don’t know that!” Johnny Snow sounded hurt.

The villain looked up. He smirked. It was the closest he’d been to a genuine smile in a long time. “It’s a way out, Johnny.”

“Out of what?”

“This cold world.”

A police officer, curly hair, slightly overweight, stumbled into the vault. He lifted his handgun. “Freeze!” he shouted, even as his finger pulled at the trigger.

The stone entered the box with a click. Three shots resounded through the room. The first went wide, missing Dr. Horrible completely. The second hit him in the gut. The third, part of a second later, hit him in the shoulder.

The villain felt himself fall. Worse yet, Dr. Horrible felt his fingers go slack. The black box fell to the floor.

“What are you doing?!” shouted Johnny Snow. He pushed the officer away. “You can’t just shoot like that!”

Dr. Horrible heard the words through a haze. Everything was blurry. The pain began, a wave beginning in his abdomen and in his shoulder.

The box. It was clear. Everything else was blurry. He reached out, but the box seemed impossibly far away. Another try. Dr. Horrible nearly laughed.

Silly Billy. That arm has a bullet in it.

He reached out with his other arm. That one actually worked. The edges of Dr. Horrible’s vision tinged black. He was vaguely aware of some kind of buzzing, of Johnny Snow crouching over him.

“Oh god,” said Johnny Snow. “Ohgodohgodohgodohgod. There’s so much blood. I didn’t know there’d be so much blood.”

Dr. Horrible clutched at the box. He pressed at it blindly until something gave. Johnny Snow watched as Dr. Horrible disappeared. No flash, no sound, simply disappearing as though the world had blinked.

Johnny and the police officer stared at the spot on the floor. The only evidence that Dr. Horrible had even been there was a pool of blood and a little black box.

***

“Hahaha...haha..ha,” Dr. Horrible clutched at his stomach, hardly able to feel anything. Something screamed. Sounded like a girl. The villain couldn’t quite tell by that point.

“Worked,” he whispered as his everything grew dimmer and dimmer. “Worked, worked… worked. She’ll… She’ll be here… Penn--”

The world grew dark.

***

“What… what is it?”

“We were hoping you’d be able to answer that question.”

Twilight Sparkle stood at the edge of a hospital bed. The creature, the Biped as Twilight decided to call it, was laying uncomfortably its talons draping off of the mattress and onto the floor.

“You’re saying that it just appeared in the middle of our bank?” asked the unicorn.

Mayor Mare nodded. “Exactly that. Nearly gave Roseluck a heart attack as well. That is, until it passed out. Speaking of which, we found these things in the creature’s wounds.” She gestured to a side table. A small plastic bag sat there, filled with what looked like two metallic mushrooms.

Twilight held the bag with her magic, observing it against the hospital's lights. “And these were inside of the Biped?”

Another nod. “We only took them out because we wouldn’t have been able to stop the bleeding otherwise. Is that what it’s called? A Biped?”

“No idea. It looks like some form of primeape, but those haven’t been anywhere near Ponyville in eons. Is there anything else you feel should be mentioned?

Mayor Mare thought for a few moments. “Roseluck swears that she heard it say something.”

Twilight’s ears pricked up. “It can talk? In Equush?”

“She wasn’t sure about that, but it definitely sounded like it.”

The unicorn turned again, appraising the Biped. Sandy yellow mane, a pair of goggles like the ones Pinkie Pie wore on occasion, bandages heavily wrapped around what would have been its shoulder. Whatever it was, it was asleep.

Twilight walked to the other side of the bed. “It might be best to get Fluttershy. She knows more about animals than most anyone in Equestri-- What’s this?” The unicorn levitated the Biped’s paw, staring at an extension of silver and red.

Mayor Mare turned to look at it. “Part of his paw?”

“I don’t think so. It looks mechanical, but not like any kind of mechanism I’ve seen. But this Biped has it. ” She looked at the prone figure of Dr. Horrible. “Where did you come from?”

***

“This is what we found, sir.”

A man, dressed in a stereotypical cowboy suit bowed down before a horse, offering up a small black box.

Bad Horse neighed.

“No, the police didn’t see us take it. But… but we don’t know what it does.”

Bad Horse nickered, shaking his head at his subordinate’s idiocy.

“Of course sir. We’ll have the finest minds in the Evil League of Evil working on it day and night. We’ll find Dr. Horrible.”

Another dismissive whinny from Bad Horse. The minion backed away slowly, having long since gotten used to treating a horse with respect.

The Thoroughbred of Sin glanced down at the box, noting the bright pink stone that vaguely resembled a butterfly. Bad Horse snorted. If anyone could peer into this horse’s mind they would find only the blackest thoughts.

Author's Note

Looking for a proper cover art! If you'd like to help by pointing me in the right direction for art (or by helping in any matter, really), please leave a comment or send me a message.

What I See

Somebody was humming. A soft tune. Quiet, probably more subconscious than anything. The kind of thing you do when you don’t have anything better to do.

A soft shift. Something came off of the man’s shoulder. Dr. Horrible felt the bandages unwind from somewhere far off. Everything was blurred, tinged with the slightest breath of scarlet. His head was buzzing, cottony. Thoughts, half-formed, unclear, ran circles around him.

Bank, stone. Gun. Shoulder, pain. Box. Where’s the box? Not here. Bank was here. Then new bank. Bed is here. Face. Horse face. Bandage. Hospital? Song. Humming. She would hum. She would sing. She would help.

Dr. Horrible felt the bandages more clearly, could feel them pull at his skin slightly as they came undone.

Not her, he thought. “She’s dead.” Dr. Horrible whipped upwards, the arm carrying his death ray poised to fire on the bright yellow, pink-maned pegasus standing over him.

Pain lanced through his stomach. He had tried to lean on his other arm, placing part of his weight on his wounded shoulder. Stupid idea.

Dr. Horrible crashed back into bed with a cry of pain. He clutched at his shoulder.

“Oh, oh dear,” said the equine. She rushed forward, gently pushing aside Dr. Horrible’s hand. “P-Please don’t do that; we don’t want the wound to open again.” She unrolled a length of bandages, tearing the cloth with her muzzle and rewrapping the wound.

The human blinked. “Horse.”

The horse looked up, staring at the Biped’s prone figure. Her light blue eyes easily covered two-thirds of her face, and the white bandage still hung from her mouth.

“You’re a horse,” said Dr. Horrible.

The equine looked mildly confused.

“Horse,” said the villain without much intonation. “Cheval. Caballo. Equine.”

The equine nodded kindly, tying off a knot in the bandage. "I'll go get Twilight." She trotted off, smiling politely at what was clearly a very tired, nonsense-speaking biped.

Dr. Horrible was left alone in bed. "Horse. Genetically modified?" The human snorted. "Bad Horse has a strange taste in minions. Bright, talking ponies, don't exactly inspire fear." He tried to look around the room, but a wave of nausea washed over him, moving out from the bullet wound in his stomach, causing his vision to blur.

"I think I'm gonna hurl."

***

"Ummmm, Twilight?"

"Of course I'd return it, I'm not a thief! And have you not seen the technological prowess that must have gone into such a device? That's years, if not decades, ahead of any current Equestrian technology!"

"Twilight? Ex-excuse me--"

Nurse Redheart, a white pony with a cutie mark in the shape of a bright red cross, facehoofed. "For the last time, Twilight, we're not going to just hoof out every interesting thing a patient has. Even when said patient looks like some creature out of mythology."

"T-twilight?"

"But we have no idea what that mechanism is capable of! Have you not considered the sheer amount of things that we'd learn from a few hours, maybe even a few minutes of observation?!"

Nurse Redheart was unconvinced. "My hospital, my rules. And my rules say that every patient has the right to keep their hooves, or talons, claws, whatever, on their own possessions. And no knowledge-obsessed unicorn is going to change that."

"... Pretty please?" asked Twilight, somehow visibly deflated as her chances for research dissipated before her.

"No."

Fluttershy scooted a few steps closer to the confrontation. "P-pardon me."

"Hey, Fluttershy," said Twilight in a slightly depressed voice.

The nurse nodded her greeting.

"I'm sorry, I didn't want to interrupt anything. Am I interrupting anything?"

The purple unicorn smiled at her friend. "Of course not. What's happening?"

"Well, um, I was in the room, changing the biped's bandages, like you told me to, and then he woke up and he tried to say something, but I couldn't really understand what he said and--"

But Twilight Sparkle had already run off down the hallway, moving much faster than a librarian had any right to move.

***

Dr. Horrible kept his eyes firmly shut, fighting off the urge to throw up... What? When was the last time he'd eaten? He hadn't sat down for a proper meal in months, not since he'd devoted himself to his newest project. At most, he'd take a sandwich from the Evil League of Evil's cafeteria. No, there simply hadn't been any time to devote to food or snacks, to washing clothes and frozen yog--

Billy winced. He could almost hear his mind, like a steel shutter or a pair of scissors, cutting him away from that line of thought. Damn it, he thought to himself, am I really that weak?

He looked around the room, looking for something to further distract him. An open window, through which shone a rustic town, a wooden desk with a single flower on it right under the window, a curtain that cut the room more or less in half. The death ray strapped to his arm made him itch. The blankets against his bare chest made him itch.

"... Where did my coat go?" Another cursory glance around the room. No coat.

Something quadruped, violet, and extremely quick bounded through the door.

Dr. Horrible felt himself snap to action, his death ray sliding towards a very eager-looking equine. The weapon stayed where it was.

The unicorn came to a sliding stop.She cleared her throat slightly, evidently trying to maintain a degree of composure. “Good afternoon, my name is Twilight Sparkle. What’s your name?” She spoke with slowly, with exaggerated enunciation, as if she were speaking to a child.

Dr. Horrible scowled. The ray remained fixed on the equine. “I sincerely hope that you’re speaking like that because I’m only just recovering from two bullet wounds and not because you think I’m some kind of idiot.”

Twilight Sparkle’s eyes went wide. Or at least, wider than normal. “You can talk.”

“I can talk?” scoffed the villain. “Have you looked in the mirror lately?” The two other mares appeared in the door way. "And didn't the yellow one tell you that I spoke to her."

Futtershy hid behind a curtain of pink hair.

Twilight stepped forward slightly. "Fluttershy has an affinity with animals--"

"Critters," whispered Fluttershy inaudibly.

"--and she can often understand what other ponies can't," continued Twilight, unaware of the interruption. "I'm sorry, I didn't realIze that you spoke Equish."

Dr. Horrible laughed, a barking sound that made the wound in his stomach strained. “Equish? Honestly, what has Bad Horse been telling you?”

Twilight knit her brow. “Bad Horse?”

The human raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, clearly. Talking horses as Bad Horse written all over it.” He pushed himself to his feet, ignoring the pain as best he could, silently glad that he still had his pants at least. "Well, let's go."

The nurse rushed forward, firmly planting a hoof onto the villain. "You're not going anywhere until you've gone through the proper check ups."

Dr. Horrible pushed the hoof to the side. "I'll decide that. Get my coat, I'm hardly presentable without the top half of my clothes."

Twilight's brow had been permanently knit together. "Presentable for what?"

"Bad Horse. I trust that he'd want to know what went wrong at the b--" Dr. Horrible stumbled suddenly, an ache in his head. "The bank."

Nurse Redheart guided him back into bed, mumbling all the while about patients without patience.

"That's what we want to know too," said Twilight gently. "The bank. How did you end up in a vault? Nopony had unlocked the door or been down there."

Dr. Horrible vaguely registered the 'nopony' in that sentence, noting how stupid it sounded. But that thought was quickly torn away. "I-I was in a bank. In a vault, and then I wasn't but then I was and..." He looked around, taking in the bright colors, the rustic town with the impossibly yellow thatched roofs, the single bright blue flower within the room, a shade of blue that somehow seemed unnaturally blue. "I'm... I'm not..." He brought his hands, shaking, no longer gloved, to his face. "It worked," he breathed. "I'm not there."

Fluttershy watched with worried eyes. "Not where?" she asked.

The human turned towards her, his eyes suddenly burning. "I'm looking for someone. A girl. Named P--" Dr. Horrible fumbled on the name. "Penny. Her name's Penny. She has red hair, she's" -- Dr. Horrible raised his hand into the air -- "this tall. Always worried about somebody else, really likes frozen yogurt. H-have you seen her?" There was so much hope in his voice.

The Pegasus folded into herself, not wanting to bring an end to that hope.

The human looked from mare to mare, their mirrored expressions telling him everything he needed to know. The fire in his eyes was snuffed out. Twilight watched as the Biped, that cold cynic she'd been talking to returned.

"That's a no then." Dr. Horrible shrugged. "It was a long shot anyway."

"I-I'm sorry," said Fluttershy.

The villain rounded on her, a snarl on his face. "Don't you dare apologize."

Fluttershy cowered. "I'm sorry for apologizing," she whispered from behind a nest of pink mane.

The villain took a deep breath, smoothing over his features. "Doesn't matter." A pause. Dr. Horrible threw another glance around the room. "I need my coat. And the box too."

"You're not just walking out of here," asserted Nurse Redheart.

"And you can't just shout at ponies like that!" added Twilight with a stomp of her hoof. "You should apologize to Fluttershy."

Dr. Horrible looked down at the unicorn, regarding her with indifference. His gaze shifted to the Pegasus. "That was uncalled for. I was out of line."

Fluttershy peeked out of her mane.

"That wasn't an apology," fumed Twilight.

"Well, it's the best you're gonna get at this point." The villain took a few shaky steps around the room. "Where's the closet? I'm guessing that that's where you stashed away all of my stuff."

"For the last time!" shouted the nurse suddenly. "You're. Not. Leaving!"

Dr. Horrible turned around in surprise. A few moments passed in silence. Then the human began to laugh, a deep, rumbling, mocking laugh that he had spent months perfecting. "You think you can stop me? Do you know who I am?"

Nurse Redheart raised an eyebrow.

"Right," relented the villain, "stupid question, considering that you're a talking pony. I'm Dr. Horrible. Member of the Evil League of Evil, scourge of any city that opposes me, and holder of the highest degree in villainy." He gave a slight bow, which would have been much deeper if not for the wound in his gut.

Twilight Sparkle snorted. "Evil League of Evil? Is that a branch of the Tautolgical Society of Tautology?"

Dr. Horrible scowled. "No. Joke's on you; the Society of Tautology is on the other side of the city."

"Wait... Really?"

"No. A Tautological Society of Tautology would be stupid."

Nurse Redheart trotted forward, pushing against Dr. Horrible again. "Well, Mr. Villain, we'll talk about that after you've gone back to sleep."

"Oh haha, very clever ponies." Dr. Horrible batted aside the nurse's hooves. "But being a villain comes with its perks.” He lifted his arm, pointing it at the flowerpot in the corner. “Like death rays.” He fired. A bright red beam enveloped the plant. The pot disappeared, vanished into a pink dust. The flower and the dirt it was planted in were untouched.

“Now,” said Dr. Horrible, “will you get out of my way?”

Twilight went on the defensive, her legs bent, her horn glowing with magic. “Stop! Now!”

Dr. Horrible brought his ray forward, leveling it with the unicorn. He smirked. “You know, it’s incredible. This really is a different world; I realize that now. There’s no Bad Horse and no League, yet I can’t help but see the similarities.” He glanced at the two other mares, Redheart and Fluttershy, both of them cowering behind the unicorn. “I’m still the villain. I’m always the villain.”

“Put that down, Doctor!” Twilight’s magical aura seemed to brighten slightly.

“Down is good.” Dr. Horrible fired, tilting wrist so that the ray hit the floor beneath Twilight Sparkle. The unicorn disappeared down the hole, landing with a muffled thump in the room below them.

“Now,” said the villain. “Where did you leave my coat? And the box too. I kinda need that to--”

There was a bright flash, then a whistling sound. Dr. Horrible felt something thud against his back. Then blackness. He was snoring before he hit the ground.

***

Nurse Redheart tightened the final restraint. Dr. Horrible was back in bed, sound asleep, his weapon currently floating well out of his reach.

"Quick on that anesthetic spell, aren't you?"

Twilight rubbed her rather sore flank. "He's the one who dropped me through the floor."

Redheart nodded, glancing at the red and silver mechanism in Twilight's magic. "Is that thing magic?"

The unicorn floated it closer, turning it this way and that. "I'm not sure. It's mechanical, but unlike any machine in Equestria. It's not for study or for travel. It destroys. If it's magic, then it's on the same level as Queen Chrysalis when she fed on my brother's love."

"Bad," said the nurse.

From her place in the corner, Fluttershy let out a small squeak of terror.

"Bad," agreed Twilight. "I'll be taking care of this. I'll hide it somewhere in the library." She glanced over at the bright blue flower, it's new dirt pot surrounded by pink dust. "And a letter to Princess Celestia wouldn't be out of order. Nurse Redheart, please keep me informed if... Dr. Horrible, I think he called himself, wakes up."

The nurse nodded. “But the thing stays here.”

“Wait, what?” responded Twilight intelligently.

“He’s still my patient. I’m responsible for him. Not only that, I’m responsible for his things. So that thing stays here.”

“Did you not see what it’s capable of doing?!”

“Yes I did,” replied the stalwart nurse. “I’ll hide it.”

“B-but! Guh! Ugh!” Twilight relented, floating the weapon to Redheart’s waiting hooves. "Let's go, Fluttershy,” said the unicorn testily.

The Pegasus picked herself up, slowly cantering after her friend. She spared a glance back at Dr. Horrible. He had called himself evil, but he was looking for someone. He was looking for a friend, had been wounded for that friend, had ended up someplace far away in an attempt to find that friend.

And how could someone like that be evil?

A Man's Gotta Do

The human’s eyes fluttered open. His head throbbed rhythmically, in tune with his heart. He worked his jaw a few times, trying to get some feeling back into it, trying to get some of the dryness out. He tried to spit, but nothing came out.

Drugged? Feels like it. He strained against his restraints. No give. “Damn horse.”

The room was dark, it’s single window blocked out by something. How long had he been there? A few days, at least. Ever since the bank incident. When Dr. Horrible disappeared. He just kind of woke up one day and there he was.

Johnny Snow, chained to some wall within the Evil League of Evil. It was laughable, really. He wasn’t one of the big shot heroes; hardly anyone in the League even knew who he was. And now he was chained up in the belly of the beast. Johnny smirked. Not even Captain Hammer could say that much.

“Who’s your arch-rival now, Doctor?”

The door handle shook, then turned.

A man strode in, wearing a blue jacket that matched with his blue sequined shirt. His cheeks were highlighted by makeup and there was a dull blue circle on his forehead. “Where is Dr. Horrible.” It wasn’t a question.

“Dead Bowie, we’ve gone through this over and o--”

The villain grabbed Johnny Snow, staring into his eyes. “Where is he?”

Johnny, to his credit, stared right back. “I. Don’t. Know. And your power won’t get you another answer.”

“What power?”

“The power of voodoo.”

“Voodoo?”

“You do.”

Bowie grimaced, shoving Snow’s head to the side. “That’s the other Bowie. The one who wasn’t murdered.”

“Right. Of course. How cold of me.”

The other sneered and reached into his pocket. His hand retracted, closed around a small key. Dead Bowie released the hero’s restraints. “Come on. Bad Horse wants to see you.”

“That won’t change anything,” replied Snow, rubbing at his wrists. “I still have no idea where Dr. Horrible ended up.”

Bowie shoved him forward. “Shut up. Start walking.”

***

Dr. Horrible awoke smoothly. The room was dark, unlit except by moonlight filtered by a window. It was the most restful sleep he had had in a long time. No dreams. None of that terrible sound, that flash of red, that cry of a coward, those warm, wet drops of red, those terrible last words.

Captain Hammer will save us.

Billy felt the tears well up.

Dr. Horrible forced them back down. Later. Memories could be saved for later, after he had found her again. This first attempt had failed, but the villain was used to failed attempts. It was a simple matter of picking yourself up again, going back to your plans, finding where you went wrong, and building another trans-dimensional portation device.

Easy enough.

But first thing’s first. Getting out of this damned hospital where, apparently, ponies walked around with anaesthetic.

Or where ponies walk around at all, thought Dr. Horrible as he brought himself to his feet. Seriously, this place is pretty much a petting zoo gone wrong. A quick glance over his bandages They were clean and well-tied. The pain was still there though. Dr. Horrible sneezed. Mission One. Find coat.

The villain left his room. He was in a long hallway, nearly perfectly symmetrical. All of the doors had nameplates on them. Dr. Horrible walked right past them, one arm held against his abdomen. There has to be a closet around here somewhere.

The hallway opened up into the lobby. The room was empty, save for a light brown unicorn dressed in a doctor’s coat sitting at the reception desk. He was, however, snoring lightly.

Dr. Horrible cast an eye around the room. There was a door, right behind the receptionist’s desk, conveniently marked ‘closet.’

“Damn it,” breathed the villain. He tiptoed forward, wincing as his shoes squeaked against the linoleum floor. They left my shoes on, noted Dr. Horrible. Why did it take me this long to realize? And why shoes?

The unicorn kept snoring as Dr. Horrible made his way into the closet. Towels and blankets sat packed into shelves. The coat sat at the very top of the shelves, red standing starkly against the largely white linen.

“There you are,” muttered Dr. Horrible. He reached up. His left shoulder twinged in protest, sending a red-hot pain through his arm. That wouldn’t be healing fully anytime soon. Lucky that that cop hadn’t shot his right arm, though.

Dr. Horrible froze. His right arm was missing a very important tool, a silver addition that hadn't left his side ever since he had first crafted it.

“Shit.” He slapped a head onto his mouth and turned towards the closet’s entrance. The unicorn’s breathing was still steady.

Something else to find, cured Dr. Horrible silently. Damn horses must have taken it while I was sleeping. He scanned the closet. No glint of silver or red. It was, however, very cold. The villain threw his coat on, fumbling slightly with the buttons. He adjusted his goggles and fit his hands snuggly into the gloves.

There, he thought, now in full garb, I’m feeling more villainous already. Now where’s that death ray?

The pony doctor was still fast asleep in his chair. It was incredible, really. Dr. Horrible had to commend the unicorn on his utter devotion to sleep.

The death ray would not have been stashed away in another patient’s room; Dr. Horrible was certain of that. And it wasn’t in the closet. An office, maybe. Or an area where the hospital kept patients’ files. There was a door off to the left marked ‘Office.’

How convenient, thought the villain. He moved towards the door, reaching out to push it open. Something on the other side of the door thudded to the floor, immediately followed by what sounded like a shush.

“Rainbow Dash!” whispered a muffled voice, “Be careful!”

The rolling eyes were audible. “Well, sorry, Twi. It’s not like I’ve done this before or anything.”

“And how did that turn out?”

“I got the book!”

The room lapsed back into silence. Dr. Horrible placed his head against the door, listening intently to what sounded like shuffling hooves and squeaking hinges. You better not be doing what I think you’re doing, purple horse.

The second voice, Rainbow Dash, came back, not quite a whisper far quieter than she was used to if the strain in her voice was anything to go by. “What’re we looking for again?”

“A metallic object, mainly silver, with a red stripe going down the middle of it and two black straps along the bottom of it.” It sounded as though Twilight had gone through this answer multiple times. “If you do find it, be very careful and do not point it at anypony.”

“It fires lasers, right?”

There was a pause. Dr. Horrible thought he caught the hint of a sigh from Twilight Sparkle.

“Yes Rainbow. It fires lasers.”

“Awesome.”

A few more moments of shuffling, then: “I don’t think it’s here.”

“We’ll move on then,” came Twilight’s reply. “There’s plenty of other rooms and the guard should be asleep until tomorrow.”

Dr. Horrible retreated from the door, towards a group of vending machines placed in a sort of alcove to the lobby. He pressed himself up against the wall, allowing himself to peek around the side of the vending machine.

Twilight Sparkle came out first, crouching slightly and walking in the strange gait of one seriously trying to be sneaky and having no real idea of what they were doing. Rainbow Dash, who certainly lived up to her name, followed soon afterwards, nearly flat against the ground and walking with the gait of someone who’s seen too many spy movies.

Dash glanced at the sleeping unicorn. “Think you might have overdone it, Twi?” she snickered.

“It was necessary!” Dr. Horrible could almost make out the blush from his place across the room. “He’ll wake up with no ill effects.”

“Yeah, yeah. Where’s that monkey thing you were talking about? I want to see him!”

“This isn’t a zoo, Rainbow Dash. And ‘Dr. Horrible’ should still be asleep. A stallion won’t wake up for two days with the caliber of anesthetic spell he was hit with.” The two mares rounded a corner. It looked like they were heading upstairs.

“Breaking and entering,” muttered Dr. Horrible as he stepped out of his hiding spot. “Naughty, naughty, little ponies. And I am not a stallion.” He stepped into the room that the mares had just left and turned the light back on. It was completely tidy, no sign of the ransacking it had just received.

The villain paced inside the room, halfheartedly peeking in drawers and opening cupboards. They couldn’t find it in here. That gives us two options: it was never here to begin with or it was hidden in a place that nopony would think to look. Given what I’ve seen of Nurse Redheart, I’m inclined towards the latter.

He looked around the room. Filing cabinets, cupboards, a desk, a window covered by a curtain, and a few chairs. Nothing immediately sprang to his vision.

The nurse didn’t have a horn or wings. She’d have to physically get somewhere to hide anything. It wouldn’t necessarily have to be someplace she’d be able to easily get to either. But it would be a place that she could easily identify.

Dr. Horrible pulled out the chair, picking it up to ensure that it made as little noise as possible. He looked up towards the ceiling. It was made up of flimsy square panels, the kind that could be easily moved. One of the tiles, nearly directly over Dr. Horrible’s head, had a very faint red cross in its corner.

Gotcha.

He climbed the chair and moved the tile. How did she even get it here? he marveled silently. These ponies really don’t work like horses.

Dr. Horrible felt his fingers brush against something hard. He dragged his death ray out, brushing a bit of dust off of it. There was a green sticky note attached to it.

You shouldn’t be climbing chairs. If you’re anything like a pony, those wounds haven’t fully healed.
-Redheart

The human stared down at the note. He snorted once and crumpled it, throwing the note aside. The death ray was strapped back onto his forearm, its weight suddenly far more noticeable than it once was.

Now, to get out of this damn hospital.

***

“Fine, Rainbow! But just for a little bit. And keep quiet; my spell puts ponies to sleep, but they won’t stay that way forever.”

“I can be quiet!” protested Rainbow Dash rather loudly. “I’d just rather share my awesome with the world. It’s this room, right?”

Twilight nodded, rubbing between her eyes. Brain, you said that bringing Rainbow would be a good idea. You lied to me.

Brain remained shamefully quiet.

“Hey Twi, how big is this thing?” asked Rainbow Dash from inside the room.

“He barely fit in the hospital bed.” Twilight felt the something inexplicable in the pit of her stomach. “Taller than Big Mac, definitely.”

“So he wouldn’t be covered up by the blankets or something?”

Twilight ran into the room. No Biped. She threw the covers off of the bed, pulled back the curtains, checked the space under the bed. No Biped.

“Rainbow… He’s gone.”

“Really? I hadn’t noticed.”

But Twilight Sparkle allowed the snark to pass. She ran out of the room, barreling down the hallway and back to the lobby. He wouldn’t have left without his coat and that ray. The coat was in the linen closet. The ray was hidden; it’s entirely possible that he’s still looking for it. She peeked into the closet. The coat was gone. Twilight turned around, scanning the lobby. Everything was in order, undisturbed. But something was bothering her, something was off and if she could just put her hoof on--

The light was on. The light in the room that she and Rainbow Dash had just gone through, the one that she had made sure to turn off, was on.

***

Dr. Horrible adjusted his ray. It didn’t sit right on his arm anymore. It felt uncomfortable, rather like the first time he had decided to put it on. The feeling would pass.

Alright, here’s the plan. Get out of here. Find an abandoned home. Build up. This hospital has monitors; I could sneak a few out and take them apart. This take of the transdimensional traveler was a bust but there’s an infinite amount of options left. She’s still out there somewhere. Dr. Horrible turned off the room’s light and walked back out into the lobby. Of course, he didn’t even get out of the doorway before his march brought him directly before a glowing purple horn.

“What are you doing here, Doctor?” asked Twilight though a scowl.

Dr. Horrible smiled. “I’m going for a stroll through the hospital. And how about yourself, Miss Trigger Happy Unicorn?”

Twilight kept on scowling.

Rainbow Dash floated down the stairs. “Hey Twi, I don’t think he’s upstairs anymore.” She froze at the sight of Twilight Sparkle facing down the Biped.

“And you brought a friend, too!” said the human in mock excitement. “Are there no laws in this place or something?”

“It really does walk on two legs!” Rainbow Dash flew up to take a closer look at Dr. Horrible. “You know, when Twi and Fluttershy said that this walking monkey thing had shown up out of nowhere, I thought that they had gone crazy or something.” She pumped a hoof in the air. “But now, Cloud Kicker owes me ten bits! Awesome!”

Dr. Horrible raised an eyebrow. “Monkey thing?”

The pegasus shrugged. “Biped. Whatever. I’m Rainbow Dash, fastest flyer in all of Equestria, future Captain of the Wonderbolts, and the coolest pony you’re gonna meet.” She stuck out a hoof. “Don’t worry, the pleasure’s all yours.”

The human felt his eye twitch. “You remind me of somebody. He was a braggart too.”

“Hey! I’m not a braggart! It’s not bragging if it’s true!”

Twilight’s scowl deepened. “Dr. Horrible, I would very much appreciate if you would stop insulting my friends.”

“What are you going to do, put me back to sleep?”

The unicorn’s horn glowed brightly.

“I’ll take that as a probably.” Dr. Horrible slammed the door, and locked it in one quick movement. He was back in the room. Nothing had changed. Filing cabinets, cupboards--

“Open this door right now, Doctor!” Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash kicked against the door. The wood began to buckle under their combined strength.

--a desk, a -- Oh, that’s actually useful.

The two mares kept up their assault on the door.

"Dr. Horrible! Come out!" Twilight was fuming. She delivered another buck to the door to no avail. "Rainbow Dash, step away from the door." The unicorn allowed herself a few steps. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath as a purple aura surrounded her horn. A moment later and the same hue covered the door.

Twilight Sparkle felt a hoof on her shoulder.

"And just what do you think you're doing?" The doctor turned night guard yawned slightly, but there was a clear disdain in his eyes.

"It's the fuzz, Twi!" said Rainbow loudly. "We've gotta bail!" She made for the door, but was quickly pulled back by a caramel aura.

The doctor frowned heavily. "Would either of you care to explain why I woke up from what feels like an anesthetic spell to two of the Elements of Harmony trying to break down the door to this hospital's records room?"

"You're still asleep?" suggested Rainbow Dash.

"Hardly. Did you forget a book in there or something?" asked the doctor with the clearest note of sleepy snark.

"Doctor," said Twilight through a calming breath, "there's a patient in there. We need to speak to him, he's in possession of a highly powerful machine, and he seems completely averse to negotiations. Do you have a key?"

The doctor's eyes closed slightly. "Maybe Rainbow Dash was right. I'm still sleeping, aren't I?" He trotted back to his desk, returning moments later with a key floating before him. He unlocked the door and peeked inside. "Nothing's in here."

"WHAT?!" shouted Twilight. She forced her way into the records room. The filing cabinets, chairs, desk, were all in place. A curtain flapped, propelled by a night breeze coming in through the open window. The doctor shook his head, promising to deal with the mares in the morning. Rainbow Dash seemed slightly let down.

Twilight Sparkle just stared through the window, her eyes fixed on the black backdrop of the Everfree Forest.

Author's Note

Yes, Dead Bowie is a confirmed member of the Evil League of Evil. He barely beat out Not Thomas Jefferson for an appearance in this chapter. Also, this chapter took a bit of time to write. Anything more than a week is a slow schedule for me. I apologize.
*this is where the apologizing pony gif will go when I get home from school and stuff*

Lost and Found

Dr. Horrible skirted the forest, close enough to touch the outermost trees, but far from where the actual animals were. There was, quite simply, no way in hell that Dr. Horrible would be heading into an unexplored forest, not under the best of conditions and certainly not while cradling gunshot wounds. Wounds that had threatened to reopen at the slightest provocation. Honestly, climbing through a window and a brisk jog to the forest’s edge and Dr. Horrible could already feel the newly forming scabs pulling at themselves. A scientist’s workshop wasn’t exactly an exercise-conducive environment, but this was ridiculous.

“First order of business once I get on my feet,” mumbled Dr. Horrible in between gasps for air, “cardio.” He winced as a twinge of pain lanced through his stomach wound and stepped around a tree, keeping its moderately-sized trunk between him and the hospital. Dr. Horrible hadn’t heard any hooves beating after him, but he couldn’t imagine that they’d leave him alone. Certainly not with that thing strapped to his forearm.

He needed someplace to hide.

A beam of light came from the hospital. Three pony-shaped forms walked out into the night, one of them flying, one of them carrying what seemed to be a flashlight. Dr. Horrible pressed a little closer to his tree. The figures paused, turning towards each other as though in conversation. Then they split apart, the flying one and the one without a flashlight heading away from him. The other, Dr. Horrible recognized him as the security guard, headed nearly directly towards his hiding place. The villain flexed his arm slightly, feeling his weapon settle slightly.

The guard shone his flashlight on the floor, sweeping it from side to side. He lifted it slightly, the cone of light passing inches from Dr. Horrible’s spot. The light turned, heading towards the back of the hospital, away from the little hamlet of a town that Dr. Horrible had seen through his window.

The town. No, Dr. Horrible shouldn’t head toward that town. Ponies probably lived in towns. But he’d have to stay near it. Take food, maybe find an abandoned building to take shelter in, it was probably the only way to get through his time in this overly colorful place. Dr. Horrible didn’t like his chances in a forest, even with a death ray strapped to his forearm.

He was a villain, not a Boy Scout.

Dr. Horrible set off again, towards the town, riding the edge of the forest. He really couldn’t have asked for a better vantage point. The treeline stayed a ways away from the village proper, but close enough for him to watch the town. He could see the lights shining through some windows and what looked like a giant tree growing in the middle of the town. A landmark. Not that he thought he’d really need one. But it was still nice to have. Especially since everything else was so… monotonous. Dark. Completely dark.

He stopped. No. Not completely dark. There were two bright circles up ahead. Not directly against the treeline, but definitely removed from the rest of the town. Some kind of cottage. This would be the easiest target if he ever needed some sort of supplies.

The thought made him squirm. Bank robbery was one thing. It was a time-honored supervillain tradition. You go in, you open the vault, you make off with the gold.

Burglary was for grunts and minions, the low-lives who used ski masks. Not for Dr. Horrible. No, he wouldn’t head in today. Maybe tomorrow. Tomorrow would be better. He’d watch the cottage, make sure whoever was living there had left before he… went in. Make sure that he wouldn’t be caught. Yes, that was it. That was a good plan. Dr.Horrible nodded in satisfaction.

His plan, however, could not be put into use until tomorrow. Which meant that he had to get through tonight. A place to stay. That was very important.

The villain’s stomach growled angrily. Food was a very close second. Another growl, this time in protest. Alright, maybe food is the first order of business. One last growl.

Not from his stomach. From the forest.

Dr. Horrible felt his breath quicken, his heart pounding on his ribs. He turned towards the noise, the death ray driving his coat into his arm. Dr. Horrible had never quite realized how itchy the material was.

There was something in the forest. Something big, rustling just on the edge of Dr. Horrible’s vision. Except for the eyes. Those were clear, shining in the little bit of moonlight that reached into the forest.

Dr. Horrible flipped the switch on his weapon with a shaking hand. The tremors began to spread, creeping up from his hands into his arms, into his body, and down to his legs. I-I need to get out of here, he thought to himself. His feet weren’t listening. Move. Move!

The shape stepped forward. Dr. Horrible saw claws, big claws that reflected a patch of moonlight. He stepped back, subconsciously.

Not good. The shape darted forward, taking the step away as a sign of weakness. Dr. Horrible threw his arm forward, a bright red beam breaking through the forest’s darkness. It missed, burning a perfect hole into an unfortunate tree.

Dr. Horrible caught a glimpse of green and brown in the laser’s light. Streamlined, like a wolf, but without fur. Its skin was wrinkled, gnarled. In his panicked state, the villain could almost think that it was wood.

The creature shied away from Dr. Horrible, suddenly wary. It stayed in the shadows, just beyond any patches of moonlight. But its glowing green eyes pierced through the darkness.

Dr. Horrible hoisted his weapon, pointing it directly at the floating green points, steadying his weapon arm with his other hand.

Four more green eyes winked out of the darkness, a distance away from the first pair. A bone-chilling lupine howl filled the night. There would be more coming.

Dr. Horrible took a deep breath and held it. His arm steadied slightly, lining up with the closest wolf. The creature growled deeply, its eyes shifting slightly downwards. As though it were preparing to spring.

A clanging sound rang through the night, coming from the town. The wolves growled again, their eyes darting from side to side before they were snuffed out by the forest’s shadows.

Dr. Horrible let out his pent up breath, his arms suddenly slumping to his side. The clanging, like pots and pans being banged against each other, quickly subsided.

“That,” muttered the villain, “was too close.”

“U-um, are you okay?”

Dr. Horrible turned with a shout, slipping on the grass and landing on his injured shoulder. He bit back a cry and stared up at the yellow pegasus. “It’s you again?” he spit out.

Fluttershy put a hoof to her mouth. “O-oh, I’m so sorry! Are you okay? I must’ve scared you. I’m sorry, I’m so loud sometimes and I can’t really control it.”

“That’s funny.”

“What’s funny?” asked Fluttershy seriously.

Dr. Horrible rolled his eyes and poked at his shoulder. He gritted his teeth as pain shot through his arm.

“You’re still hurt!” Fluttershy rushed forward and tried to get a better look.

The villain shooed her away. “I’m fine. Leave me alone.”

“Oh no!” said Fluttershy, her eyes widening slightly. “I can’t do that. There are t-timberwolves around here. I-I heard them.” She was shaking slightly.

Dr. Horrible eyed her. “You’re scared of them.”

Fluttershy nodded. “They’re… they’re scary,” she said in a quiet voice.

“Then what are you doing out here?”

“I-I heard them howling and-and then I saw a strange light in the Everfree and I… I had to make sure that the critters were okay.” Fluttershy looked down at the grass, allowing her mane to partially cover her face. “I’m sorry.”

Dr. Horrible spared a glance at the pegasus before looking back at the forest. “These timberwolves. They glow green? Have fur that looks like wood?”

Fluttershy nodded, then paused. “They glow, but they don’t have fur. Th-they are wood.”

The human turned his gaze back towards the mare. “That’s impossible.”

“N-no, I don’t think it is. They’re made of wood; a-at least, that’s what it was when I saw them.”

Dr. Horrible felt his jaw tighten. “It’s impossible for a living, breathing, conscious thing to be made out of wood.”

Fluttershy shrank back. “Ok. I’m sorry.”

Dr. Horrible turned away with a huff. The pony, whatever her name was, had to be lying. It was impossible. Wolves made out of wood. Scratch that, glow-in-the-dark wolves made out of wood. That kind of thing just didn’t make sense, wouldn’t be scientifically possible. No stretch of human ingenuity could instill a consciousness in bark.

Human.

The word rang through Dr. Horrible’s mind.

And how many humans had he seen since he woke up? Zero. About five pastel horses, three pairs of glowing green eyes, and a wide berth of trees. But not one human.

There are no humans here. The thought made Dr. Horrible’s head swim. He closed his eyes and breathed in deeply. No humans anywhere.

No, this is what I wanted. I wanted to go someplace else, a different place. Where she’d be, thought Billy.

She’s not here. You failed, thought Dr. Horrible. Of course you failed. You romantic idiot, what made you think that this would work?

I just wanted to see her again.

“Ex-excuse me, Doctor? A-Are you okay?” The words seemed to come from miles away.

And look at what’s that done! Look at where we are! Stranded, where the dominant lifeforms are talking quadrupeds. Not even Bad Horse could talk.

I-I can go back. I came here, I just have to retrace my steps!

Idiot, sneered Dr. Horrible. You can’t do that. You’re not in some foreign country. You can’t just hop on a plane or make a teleporter and head back to Los Angeles. You’re on a whole different planet.

“No. No, I can fix this,” muttered Billy.

“Fix what?” asked Fluttershy.

No you can’t. You’re not on Earth. There is no Evil League of Evil, no Bad Horse, no laboratory, no Captain Hammer, no frozen yogurt, no laundromat.

Dr. Horrible felt his head grow light, but it wasn’t completely his head. Nothing was his anymore. All of the little things that had made up his life were millions of light years away. No, not even that. There was no distance that could measure how far he was from home.

And there’s no Penny.

Billy felt his head hit the grass. It was a dull thud, on the very edge of his consciousness, as if he had watched someone else hit the ground.

And then everything went black.

***

“I’m sorry. W-we were already really near to my home, and he was unconscious, and the hospital was really far away, and I didn’t want to risk walking all the way there when there were t-timberwolves and—“

Nurse Redheart held up a hoof, taking off her stethoscope and turning away from the unconscious human. “It’s fine, Fluttershy. You made the right call; it’s never a good idea to move somepony who has hurt their head.” She turned towards the other five mares in the room. “There’s a bit of a concussion, but nothing too drastic.” A hint of a smirk touched her lips. “Though, he’ll have a really bad headache when he wakes up.”

“I can’t believe he went to the Everfree,” said Twilight. “I thought that anypony with half of a brain would stay away from there.”

“Well, we can’t really go sayin’ that he’s a pony, can we?” remarked Applejack.

Pinkie Pie bounced up towards the couch wherein Dr. Horrible lay. She craned her neck, looking him up and down. “Hmmmmmm. Nope! Doesn’t look like any kind of pony that I’ve seen. Maybe he’s a bear!”

“Pinkie, he can talk,” said Twilight.

Pinkie gasped dramatically. “Is he a talking bear?!”

“I doubt it,” said Rarity, furiously examining Dr. Horrible’s discarded coat. “I’ve never seen a bear wear this. Admittedly, it’s not at the highest point of fashion and it is a tad coarse, but there’s a certain… je ne sais quot to it.”

Rainbow Dash poked at the death ray, which sat at a safe distance from Dr. Horrible. “I don’t see why you’re all caught up with this thing, Twi. Are you sure that it’s not just an umbrella or something?”

Twilight rolled her eyes. “Honestly, Rainbow Dash, do you think that I’d wake all of you up to examine an umbrella?”

“Wouldn’t be the first time.”

“That was different!” Twilight Sparkle turned a shade of pink.

“We talkin’ about the time Twilight sent the town inta a lockdown over a missing umbrella?” asked Applejack with the slightest smile.

“It was an important umbrella!”

“Whatever happened to that umbrella?” asked Rarity.

Twilight looked down, kicking at a dust bunny on the floor. “… I lost it.”

Nurse Redheart coughed into a hoof. “Anyway. I’m officially discharging this ‘Dr. Horrible’ from my hospital.”

“You’re doing what?” asked Twilight incredulously.

“He’s been discharged. He no longer needs a full medical staff attending to him. Dr. Horrible can change his own bandages, if his name is any indication. And I don’t want a princess cruising into my hallways tomorrow and bothering my patients.” She eyed Twilight. “I’m guessing that you’ve already sent a letter to Princess Celestia?”

Twilight Sparkle glanced at her friends. She nodded. “Yes. She has a few things to take care of in Canterlot, but she’ll be here by tomorrow. Along with Princess Luna.”

“All the more reason,” said the nurse. “Two princesses will not be good for anypony in that hospital. And I’m not sure how well our hospital is equipped to handle somepony who… isn’t a pony. For those reasons, I’m placing Dr. Horrible in Fluttershy’s care on the grounds that her experience with animals renders her better equipped to handle the Biped.” She nodded at the six stunned expressions and yawned slightly. “Good night, fillies.”

Nurse Redheart trotted through the door.

The Elements of Harmony glanced at one another.

“Can she do that?” asked Applejack.

“There isn’t exactly a precedent to go by,” responded Twilight.

Five pairs of eyes settled on Fluttershy.

“… Please don’t stare at me.”

***

Dr. Horrible awoke later that night. Or, rather, early the next morning. It is rather difficult to keep track of time when you’ve spent most of the day unconscious. And even more difficult when someone was playing a bass line in your skull.

One thing was certain though. He was not lying on the forest floor, but on a couch that was surprisingly comfortable for its size. He took a moment to feel the material. It was familiar. Something that any grandmother would have in her home. Warm, slightly scratchy, smelling vaguely of dust. It inspired a sense of nostalgia.

Nostalgia for something that Dr. Horrible could very well never see again. His fist clenched around the couch’s material.

“You awake now—er--Dr. Horrible?”

The human started slightly. He let go of the couch and turned towards the voice.

An orange pony, this one lacking in wings and horns, but wearing a Stetson, attempted to smile.

“Where am I?” Dr. Horrible’s voice was scratchy, his throat completely parched.

The pony offered a glass of water, which Dr. Horrible took. “ You’re in Fluttershy’s house. She carried you here after your little tussle with the timberwolves. Name’s Applejack.”

Applejack reached out a hoof. Dr. Horrible took a sip of water.

“Ain’t right ta ignore a peace offerin’ like that. ‘Specially if you’re gonna be here for a while.” Applejack smiled politely. The hoof stayed there.

Dr. Horrible cleared his throat. “I don’t plan on being here for very long.”

Applejack shrugged and withdrew her hoof. “Well, that’s your choice and Ah ain’t gonna hold it against you.”

The human scoffed and tried to sit up. His vision blurred slightly.

“Whoah there. Don’t get ahead of yourself; you took a nasty fall.”

Dr. Horrible felt something hold onto his good shoulder. He promptly shrugged it off, staring straight into Applejack’s eyes as he straightened himself. A blanket that he hadn’t even noticed slid to the floor. “Don’t touch me.”

Applejack scowled, but she backed off, settling back into her seat.

Dr. Horrible looked around the room. It was homely, furnished more like a cabin than a home. He guessed that Fluttershy’s home was that cottage near the forest. And that Fluttershy was the yellow pegasus. Not that he cared. He was making it a point to not remember their names.

“Are you going to watch me all night?” said the human.

“’Course not. Ah’ll be watching you for the next few hours. Then it’s Rarity’s turn. An’ it’s mornin’, not night.”

“Great. There are more of you.”

Applejack squinted slightly. “What’s your problem?”

“Where’s my coat?”

“I ain’t tellin’. Ya ain’t goin’ anywhere anyway, not till Princess Celestia gets here.”

Dr. Horrible felt his head throb violently. He was tired. Even with all of the sleep he’d been getting, he was terribly tired. He rolled over, back onto the couch. “Right, Princess. Of course.”

“Is that it?” asked Applejack as she knit her eyebrows. “You’re just gonna roll over and head to sleep?”

“Love to stay up and talk, but I’d hate to do that.”

There was a pause. “Ah don’t think Ah like you very much, Dr. Horrible.”

“Good.”

***

“The most we’ve discovered, sir, is that this stone seems to be its source of energy.” The scientist turned over the box in his hands, gesturing towards the pink crystal imbedded in its face. “But… it’s empty. Or nearly so.”

Bad Horse nickered.

“He wants you to find more,” threatened the translator. “He wants Dr. Horrible back by the end of the week.”

“But sir! I-I’ve never seen anything like it; I have no idea whether it sends people to another point on Earth or… or anywhere!”

Bad Horse snorted and turned around.

“Do it,” said the minion. He followed after his boss.

The scientist grumbled, tossing the box from hand to hand without a thought. He walked out of his laboratory, towards the secure room where the League kept their research materials. “By the end of the week? It’d be a miracle if I were able to reverse engineer something like this by the end of the month! And this stone. Where did this thing come from?”

Another researcher crossed his paths, carrying a stack of boxes. He tripped, scattering the boxes in all directions.

The first scientist rolled his eyes. As if he didn’t have enough on his plate already. He bent down, picking up a few of the boxes and stacking them in the researcher’s arms.

“Thank you.”

The scientist nodded. “You’re welcome.” They went on their separate ways.

The stone glowed a soft pink in the scientist’s hands.

Sun and Moon

“Honestly, what is possessing you to act so horrid?!” Rarity glared into the human’s eyes, her well-coiffed mane inches from his face.

Dr. Horrible raised an eyebrow. “It’s in my name.”

“Well, that’s no excuse!”

“Sure. Whatever. Can you just step away a bit? It’s uncomfortable. I feel like I’m breathing in more perfume than oxygen.” Dr. Horrible allowed a smirk as Rarity stepped back self-consciously.

“Why- Why you brute! You utter brute!” Rarity turned up her nose, crossing her hooves angrily.

Hooves sounded against the wooden stairs. The pair in the living room turned towards the doorway.

“It’s my turn, Rarity,” said Twilight. “You’re free to leave.”

“Well, thank Celestia for that.” Rarity got to her hooves, throwing one last nasty glance towards the human. “Dr. Horrible certainly isn’t a misnomer.”

Dr. Horrible shrugged and waved his goodbye to Rarity, who turned up her nose again and climbed back up the stairs.

Twilight Sparkle sighed and took Rarity’s place. “I think that you’ve successfully insulted each of my friends within a few hours of knowing them.”

“Yup. I think I should earn a prize for it. Like having you leave me alone.”

“I can’t do that.”

“Then stop talking.”

Twilight scowled. “What’s wrong with you?! Would it kill you to speak like a civilized pony?!”

Dr. Horrible glanced up sharply, staring straight into the unicorn’s eyes. “I’m in an alternate universe where wolves are made of wood, unicorns and pegasi are running around, and the word ‘pony’ has replaced ‘body.’ Excuse me for not taking part in your tea parties.”

They glared at each other. Twilight tensed slightly. Dr. Horrible readied himself for an argument.

A stream of air escaped the unicorn’s lips. She placed her left hoof to her chest and stretched it out in one smooth motion.

“You’re right,” she said. “Then let’s talk. Like civilized ‘bodies’.”

Dr. Horrible furrowed his brow. “You want to… talk?”

“Yes,” replied Twilight with a nod. “Without the nasty name-calling and making me want to strangle you with my magic.”

“No.”

“... Pardon?”

“There’s no reason to talk to you. I won’t be here for long. And you already know that I’m Dr. Horrible.” He crossed his arms, curling in on himself slightly. “That’s all you need to know.”

Twilight’s hoof collided with her face. “For the love of Celestia.” She held that position for a moment. “Fine. That’s fine. If you don’t want to talk to me, then I’ll just talk to you.” Her eyes defocused slightly. “And if he still won’t talk, then I’ll get Pinkie Pie in here to execute Order ChimmyCherryChanga. But only as a last resort.”

“Chimmy cherry what?” asked Dr. Horrible.

“Oh, so now you want to talk.”

Dr. Horrible paused, then leaned back onto the coach. “No. No I don’t. Not unless you’re going to give me a way out of here.”

Twilight’s face contorted slightly. She did that strange gesture again, drawing her hoof close, then back out. Whatever it meant, it seemed to calm her down. “Where do you want to go?”

“Home.”

That caused a bit of hesitation in the unicorn. “And where is home?”

“Not here.”

“What’s it like over there?”

“Terrible. The whole world’s corrupted and no one wants to see it, let alone fix it.” Dr. Horrible sighed. “Not one person, anymore.”

“Anymore?”

Dr. Horrible glanced sharply at Twilight. “I said that I didn’t want to talk.”

Twilight Sparkle resisted the urge to roll her eyes. It’s easier for a stranger to talk to Fluttershy than it is to talk to him. “Fine. We’ll change the subject. How about that device? The thing you had wrapped around your… Claw?” Twilight gestured towards her foreleg.

“Arm?”

“If that’s what they are.”

Dr. Horrible raised an eyebrow. “That ‘device’ is mine and I would very much like it back.”

Twilight closed her eyes in frustration. “Yes. We’ve established it. But what is it?”

“A weapon.”

“Well, I’d figured that much out!” said Twilight, her voice a bit louder than she had intended. “Sorry. But it destroyed a whole section of the hospital floor.” She smiled sheepishly, trying for a joke. “I was kind of standing on that at the time.”

Dr. Horrible grunted in recognition, but offered nothing else.

“So… Are those weapons common where you’re from?”

The human snorted. “Something like that? I’m probably the only person who could figure out how to build it, even in the Evil League of Evil.”

“You built it?” Twilight’s eyes shined excitedly, her voice picking up speed as she spoke. “How did you do it? It looks like highly powerful magic, yet it’s completely controlled, far less volatile than any experiments that I’ve attempted to run with something of that calibre.”

Dr. Horrible furrowed his brow, trying to keep up. “It’s not magic. It’s science.”

Twilight rounded on him, scooting closer with a slight gasp. “Then could you build another one?”

“A-another one?”

“Not to use as a weapon!” Twilight waved her hooves frantically. “No, definitely not that! But for the sake of scientific knowledge!”

“I can’t do that.”

“But that thing is years ahead of anything happening right now! Can’t I have a quick little peek at the schematics?”

“No.”

“Please?”

“No!” shouted Dr. Horrible. Twilight recoiled at the sudden outburst, her eyes flashing in hurt and curiosity in turn.

“I mean,” said Dr. Horrible, “I-I wouldn’t have the materials to build it again. I can’t do it.”

“If it’s a matter of materials, I have a--”

“Twilight!” A rainbow blur darted into the room, hovering in the air as four other pairs of hooves sounded against the stairs. “I just saw the chariot touch down!”

Twilight Sparkle shot to her hooves. “Let’s get going! We can’t keep Princess Celestia waiting.” She turned towards the human. “And Doctor? Please don’t act the same way around the Princess as you do around my friends. You might end up on the Moon.”

Dr. Horrible knit his eyebrows. “What?”

***

“I don’t understand. Where did this little bit of energy come from?” Professor Normal held the pink stone against a light, squinting up at it. He held it against his ear, nearly smashing it against his metal muttonchops.

“We don’t know, Professor. But when I returned to the laboratory from my report to Bad Horse, all the readings showed that it had somehow conducted some kind of power.”

Professor Normal turned towards the grunt. “You. What’s your name?”

“Bob, sir.”

“Bob the grunt?”

“Yes sir.”

“Riiiiight. Well, Bob, what can you tell me about this little stone?”

Bob reached out. “May I, sir?”

Professor Normal handed over the jewel.

“We found this jewel at the same place that Doctor Horrible disappeared.” Bob walked over to a nearby counter, picking up a rather unremarkable black box. “It was attached to this and, best that we can figure, the jewel acts as an energy source.”

“Energy for what?”

“We can’t be sure, sir, unless we undid this box. And we don’t want to do that because we aren’t entirely certain that we’d be able to put it back together again.” Bob put the box down again. “However, the leading idea is that it’s some kind of transportation device.”

Professor Normal furrowed his brow. “Of course. It would explain why Dr. Horrible wasn’t at the back robbery. But explain why the Evil League of Evil hasn’t found a trace of him anywhere on the world.”

Bob cleared his throat self-consciously. “Well, sir, we don’t think that he’s anywhere on the Earth.”

“What?”

“Of course, we can’t be certain!” added the grunt hurriedly. “But we’ve done some internal imaging of the device and there are components that we simply can’t place. It’s something straight out of science-fiction, sir.”

Professor Normal arched an eyebrow. “Then you think he’s on the Moon?”

“At this point, sir, we’re not discounting any possibility. But, given the strangeness of the device and of the jewel itself a few of us believe that he’s,” Bob paused slightly, “that Dr. Horrible may be in a parallel dimension.”

There were a few moments of heavy silence.

“Bob,” said Professor Normal, “I don’t know what you’ve been reading, but that would be impossible.”

“Yes, sir.”

Professor Normal placed a hand on Bob’s shoulder. “It’s also entirely within Dr. Horrible’s realm. Continue your research. I expect results from your department.”

Bob looked up excitedly in slight disbelief. “Yes, sir!”

Quietly, unseen in the scientist’s closed hand, the butterfly jewel glowed a soft pink.

***

“Dr. Horrible, is it? A pleasure to meet you.” Celestia smiled warmly, the expression mirrored on her sister’s face. “I am Princess Celestia and this is Princess Luna.”

They had gathered outside of Fluttershy’s house, six bowing ponies, two upright alicorns, and a defiantly standing human.

“Thank you for coming on such short notice, Princess,” said Twilight.

“It’s our pleasure, Twilight,” replied Celestia with her ever-present smile.

“Where’s the queen?” asked Dr. Horrible.

Twilight and her friends glanced upwards in shock.

The slightest bit of confusion shown through Luna’s face. “Pardon?”

“The queen. Considering that you’re the princess, there has to be some kind of queen who’s actually ruling. Maybe a king?”

Celestia shook her head. “I’m afraid not. Neither my sister nor I particularly care for that title. We do well enough as princesses.”

Dr. Horrible made a sort of noncommittal grunt.

“Well,” cut in Applejack awkwardly, “I reckon that we should get inside. Still a bit chilly out, isn’t it?” She chuckled without any real humor.

“Quite,” agreed Rarity. “And Fluttershy prepared a simply divine tea blend which we simply cannot allow to go cold.” She walked over to the cottage, magically holding the door open. “After you, Princess.”

“Thank you, Rarity.”

Fluttershy’s cottage, as always, was pleasantly warm. The group of nine squeezed into the living room, occupying every one of Fluttershy’s seat. A tea set, steam quietly puffing out of the tea pot, stood on a table in the middle of the room.

Celestia took a polite sip of her tea before speaking. “Dr. Horrible. My student says that you are in possession of a very interesting artifact.”

The human noted the slightly proud look in Twilight’s eyes. “Yes. You can put it that way. It is, however, currently being denied to me.”

“Twilight thinks that it poses a danger. Is this true?”

“Of course it’s dangerous. It’s a weapon. A death ray.” Dr. Horrible almost sounded bored.

Luna straightened slightly, glancing at her sister. “A death ray?”

“It was built to destroy. Or kill. It depends on what setting it’s on.” Dr. Horrible took a sip of his tea. Why are the cups built like this? They don’t have hands.

“I see,” said Celestia. “Then they took it from you with good reason.”

Dr. Horrible stayed silent.

“Princess,” said Twilight, “that’s not the only thing. It’s an almost entirely scientific device! There’s next to no magic involved in its crafting!”

“There’s no magic,” mumbled Dr. Horrible.

Princess Luna turned to the human in shock. “Thou were able to make such a thing without the use of magic?”

“I’m not really used to using magic.” Dr. Horrible wiggled his fingers. “There isn’t much of that back where I live.”

“And where do you live?” asked Celestia.

“Not here.”

“Will you be able to go back there?”

“One day. If I’m left alone.”

“I see.” Princess Celestia looked around the room, briefly locking eyes with each of her six subjects. “My little ponies, would you be kind enough to leave me and my sister with Dr. Horrible?”

The six got to their hooves with a nod and a few worried glances. They left the room. Fluttershy was the last one out, her anxiety evident on her face.

Celestia put her tea down. She didn’t speak, choosing to simply regard Dr. Horrible for a time. “There are certain naming conventions in place in Equestria,” she said suddenly. “An old magic from an age far older than I or my sister. The names given to us describe what we are. Parents receive a spark of inspiration, a name that simply fits what a foal will grow to become. Who gave you your name, Dr. Horrible?”

“It’s my name,” he said. “I chose it.”

“Is that normal practice in thine home?” asked Luna.

“Humans choose their names all the time.” Dr. Horrible sipped a bit more of his tea.

“I see.” Celestia considered this for a moment. “And how did a human come to be in Equestria?”

“Science,” said the human with a smirk. “Without magic.”

“And can thou repeat thy science without magic?”

Dr. Horrible raised an eyebrow. “Do you want me out of here so quickly?”

Luna stared him straight in the eye. “Dost thou live up to thy name?”

The human smiled an unfriendly smile and looked back towards Celestia. “Yes. I could do it again, given enough time and the proper materials.”

“And you will be in Equestria until you’ve finished your preparations,” said Celestia.

“Unless you have another place for me to go.”

Celestia ignored the remark, glancing over at Luna. They shared a wordless conversation before nodding in unison and turning back to the human.

“Dr. Horrible,” Princess Celestia drew herself to her full height, towering over the still seated villain. She looked down at him, holding his gave unwaveringly as she spoke. “I am Celestia, Princess of the Day, who moves the Sun and protects all of Equestria.”

“Dr. Horrible.” Princess Luna stood next to her sister, slightly shorter than her sister but far darker as she spoke. “We are Luna, Princess of the Night, who moves the Moon and protects all of Equestria.”

“You have entered our kingdom with a weapon of war. One that brings death and destruction. You, one that we do not know and do not trust, wields it.”

“Thou art stripped of this power.” Luna’s horn glowed a light blue. There was a sudden flash and Dr. Horrible’s death ray appeared, enveloped in the same aura. “It shall be in our possession until such a time as thou art judged able to wield it without repercussion.” Another flash and the weapon was gone.

“For the safety of our subjects,” said the Princesses in tandem.

“You can’t do that!” Dr. Horrible jumped out of his seat, standing at eye level with the princess. “You can’t take that thing! You have no idea what it can do!”

“Nor do we have any intention of discovering what it can do,” said Celestia, holding his gaze cooly.

“Thou art welcome in Equestria, Dr. Horrible,” said Luna. “But if word reaches our ears of any evils caused by thine actions, then thou will not be so kindly treated.”

The Princesses returned to their seats.

“This is kindness?” shouted Dr. Horrible. “You think that this is being treated kindly?!”

Celestia took a sip of her tea, glancing up at the fuming human. “There is far worse that we would do for our ponies.”

“Should thou prove our worries to be fruitless, then we will apologize.”

Dr. Horrible took in a breath, his hands tightening into fists, a twinge shooting into his shoulder from the movement. “You--You two. I need a place to work. And I don’t want to be bothered. By anything. Then I’ll get the hell out of here. And good riddance.”

Celestia shook her head. “I can--”

There was a loud, drumming sound and six mares burst into the room.

“Are you okay, Prin--”

“We heard shouti--”

“Did he try to break ou--”

“Then I said, ‘There’s no anchovies in s’mores!’”

Every pair of eye paused on Pinkie Pie for a moment.

Celestia smiled kindly. “I am fine, my little ponies, but thank you for your concern. Actually, your timing is perfect! I was just about to discuss Dr. Horrible’s living arrangements.” She turned towards the human.

“What living arrangements?” asked Dr. Horrible through gritted teeth.

“You will stay here,” said Celestia, “in Ponyville under the watchful eyes of the Elements of Harmony. You will rotate between their homes, switching every three days.”

“What?!” said seven voices.

Celestia held up a hoof and continued. “In that time, I want you to continue your research on a way back home. You are free to move among Ponville as you feel necessary and I trust that Twilight will lend you use of her laboratory, but the Element whose home you are sharing at the time is not allowed to leave your side except under extenuating circumstances.” She turned towards Luna. “Is that about it?”

“We believe so.”

“This is stupid!” protested Dr. Horrible. “Just let me be alone!”

Celestia turned towards the human. “Alone, Dr. Horrible, is the last thing you should be.”

Author's Note

And so, I introduce another member of the Evil League of Evil and prove that I am incredibly lazy and procrastinate-y

An Arrival

Dr. Horrible reached out, plucking off one of the low hanging apples. He stared at it for a while, the apple’s scarlet skin nearly the exact color as his coat. Dr. Horrible tossed the apple into his basket with a scowl.

“Hey now! We can’t be sellin’ any bruised apples!” Applejack reached into the basket and pulled out the apple, letting out a sigh at the light brown mark on it. “Well, still good for baking, I s’pose.” She placed the apple in a separate basket.

The villain threw another apple into his basket. “It can’t be any worse than what your family does. You just let your apples tumble into place.”

“Well that’s because…” Applejack furrowed her brow. “Huh. I ain’t ever thought about it that way before.” She reached into the basket, extracting another bruised apple and placing it with the others. “Must just be your attitude.”

“Yeah, sure,” said Dr. Horrible with a snort. He paused slightly, picking up the goggles on his forehead and wiping away the sweat.

“It is true! Now, these ain’t no zap apples so they’re not as in tune with what’s goin’ on around ‘em, but they’d have to be blind as a fruit bat to not notice the way you’re tossin’ ‘em around.”

“They’re fruits. They don’t have any eyes to begin with.”

“Doesn’t mean they’re not watching,” replied Applejack seriously.

Dr. Horrible rolled his eyes and reached up again. A twinge shot through his shoulder, causing his arm to falter slightly.

“You alright?” asked Applejack.

“Fine,” grunted Dr. Horrible. Another apple went into his basket.

“Maybe takin’ off that coat of yours would help.” Applejack took off her hat and used it as a fan. “Pretty warm day we’re having.”

Dr. Horrible straightened slightly, rolling his shoulders in an effort to get the tension out. “Finished. Can we go now?”

Applejack scanned the nearby trees. They were relatively apple-free. Not as much work as she and Big Mac had done, but more than she could have expected. Certainly far more than she had expected yesterday when she had showed the human what was expected of him. The corners of her lips tugged towards a smile.

“Sure, let’s go.” They set off towards Ponyville.

Dr. Horrible scowled. “What are you smiling at?”

“Nothin’ much.”

The human snorted his disbelief.

“You’ll be stayin’ with Pinkie Pie next, right?”

“If that’s the pink one, then yes.”

Applejack rolled her eyes. “Yeah, that’s the pink one. Like you ain’t got enough brain power to remember anypony’s name.”

“I don’t remember things that don’t matter.”

“Sure ya don’t.” Applejack waved cheerily at a few ponies who were staring at her companion.

Dr. Horrible scowled. “I don’t. And I’d appreciate if you’d all accept that.”

“I ain’t disagreein’ with ya,” said Applejack with a smirk. “And if ya think that I’m bad, just wait until you have to stay with Pinkie Pie.”

A pink head poked out of a nearby mailbox. “I’m not bad!”

Dr. Horrible’s arm, blissfully devoid of its weapon, twitched upward on reflex. Applejack, in comparison, was completely unfazed as Pinkie struggled through the mailbox’s slot.

“How long have you been in that mailbox, Pinkie?” asked Applejack.

“Three minutes, thirty eight seconds and a little bit!” Pinkie fell out of the mailbox with an audible pop. “Ever since you passed Sugarcube Corner!”

“Have you been following us?” asked Dr. Horrible. He turned towards Applejack. “Has she been following us?”

Applejack shrugged. Pinkie let out a giggle, still splayed out on the ground.

“Of course I have, silly Billy!”

Dr. Horrible felt his blood freeze.

Pinkie continued, completely undaunted. “How else am I supposed to know what you like? I’m trying to learn as much as I can about humans before I throw your welcoming party! See, I’m used to throwing pony parties and tortoise parties and dog parties and dragon parties and donkey parties an--”

“Pinkie, I think he gets the idea.”

Dr. Horrible stepped towards Pinkie Pie. “What did you say?”

“About the party?” Pinkie Pie jumped to her hooves, bouncing happily around the human. “I throw a party for everypony in Ponyville! Even the ponies that aren’t ponies!”

“No, not that.” Dr. Horrible felt a dull throb start in the back of his head. “What did you call me?”

Pinkie slid to a stop in front of him, one eyebrow raised in confusion. “Silly Billy.”

“Who told you?” asked the human softly.

“I’m sorry, I can’t hear you.”

“Who told you?!” Dr. Horrible shouted. He stepped forward jerkily.

“Whoah there!” Applejack rushed forward, placing herself between Pinkie Pie and the human.

Pinkie Pie looked around in confusion, glancing between Dr. Horrible and the other pony. “D-Did I say something wrong? I didn’t mean to! It’s just an expression!”

Dr. Horrible felt something drain from him. “What was that?”

“An expression.” Pinkie Pie’s eyes were slightly downcast. “I’m sorry if it made you angry; I never wanted to do that.”

Dr. Horrible rubbed at his eyes. “Its--Just… just don’t call me that.”

Pinkie Pie nodded sadly. Applejack glanced up curiously.

The human started forward again. “Let’s go. The sooner we get to that laboratory, the better.”

“Are you still mad at me?” asked Pinkie.

A pause. “I don’t get mad.” Dr. Horrible walked on, leaving the two ponies behind. Pinkie’s head hung downwards, her mane slightly deflated.

“Pinkie,” began Applejack, “wanna go to Twilight’s library with us? This one’s gonna try to do some research.”

“Sure!” Pinkie Pie brightened up the slightest bit. “I’ll… see if Twilight has any new baking books!” She glanced over at Dr. Horrible. “I mean, if that’s okay with everyone.”

Dr. Horrible shrugged.

***

“We’ve run it through every test we could think of, sir. It’s not stable in any sense of the word, it’s burnt out nearly every device we’ve used it to power.” Bob flipped through his notepad. “Sir, I have no idea how to properly describe it. It's... not like anything I've ever seen on Earth."

“You’re saying that it’s alien?” asked Professor Normal.

“That’s… that’s our best bet, sir.” Bob’s notepad twitched upward, half-expecting to block a blow.

“I see,” said Professor Normal. “Yes, we shall continue on this vein of research.”

Bob blinked. “Continue, sir?”

“Indeed, Bob.” Professor Normal strode across the room, plucking the black box off of a desk. “You said that we’re now able to extract energy from this gem, yes?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Then I say it’s time that we test out the box.”

Bob’s eyes flew open. “Sir, with all due respect, we have no idea what that box is capable of! Running tests could result in some heavy consequences! Not to mention the problem of getting any information back from the subject!”

Professor Normal scowled. “Explain.”

“Dr. Horrible used this box, only to disappear from the face of the planet. We have no way of contacting anyone we send over.”

Professor Normal considered this for a while. The box went back onto the desk. “Bob, it seems as though we’ve hit a bit of a snag.” He walked calmly over to the minion and grabbed Bob by the throat, slamming him into a wall. “When I tell you to do something,” growled the villain, “you do it. Is that clear?”

Bob nodded, gasping for air.

“Good.” Professor Normal smiled and released the minion, reaching down and helping him up to his feet. “Now get the job done, Bob.”

“Y-Yes, sir.”

Professor Normal walked away, pausing slightly as he got to the door. “Oh, and Bob? Don’t sweat the details. We have a fine test subject right in the building.”

***

“I need a solder.”

“A what?”

Dr. Horrible sighed. “Solder. S-O-L-D-E-R. A burny thingy that fuses two metallic components with a filler alloy.”

Twilight’s head tilted slightly. “Burny thingy?”

A pause. The human rubbed his eyes with a gloved hand. “Super glue. Do you have super glue?”

“You’re going to use super glue in this?” asked Twilight disbelievingly.

“You could use super glue for anything!” announced Pinkie Pie cheerfully from her special quarantined area of the laboratory. “Well, except for unsticking stuff, it’s not really good at that. Or anything besides sticking stuff together, but super glue is perfect for anything that involves sticking things!”

Twilight turned towards Dr. Horrible. “If you need to adhere things, I know an adhesive spell that could help.”

“No.”

“It wouldn’t be much of a hassle!”

“No! For the last time, this is my project. You’re not allowed to be anywhere near it. For that matter, take a few steps back.” Dr. Horrible made a quick shooing motion with his hand.

“I can help.”

“You’ve knocked me unconscious, tried to hunt me in the night, and got something that I was taking care of taken from me. I don’t want any help.”

“Taking care of?” asked Twilight.

Dr. Horrible picked up the scraps of metal on his desk, turning them over and over in his hands. “I need a monitor. Once from the hospital or from wherever else you can dig one up. Even if it’s burned out. Anything that you can find.”

“I thought that you didn’t want my help,” replied Twilight smartly.

“Good point. Get out of my laboratory.”

Twilight stamped her hoof. “It’s my laboratory!”

“Then you should know where everything is!”

The two stared each other down.

“Simmer down you two,” said Applejack. “It seems like all you ever do is argue. Maybe try having an honest conversation for once.” She turned towards the human. “Now, Doctor, I know that you’ve got some fancy equipment and I’m sure that what we’ve got here in little ol’ Ponyville don’t really match up to it, but Twi really knows her stuff. And the more help ya get, the faster you can get back home. Don’t ya want that?”

Dr. Horrible turned back to his desk, his hands floating above the materials. “Bring me a monitor. Anything remotely resembling technology. Then we’ll talk.”

***

“He’s insufferable!” Twilight trotted through Ponyville, an old train engine floating slightly above her. “What kind of place does he come from to have an attitude like that?!”

Pinkie Pie hopped along next to her, a collection of nuts and bolts bouncing out and back into her mane with every spring. “I don’t know! He reminds me of Cranky Doodle Donkey. Maybe he just misses his Matilda?”

“It’s a nice sentiment Pinkie, but I have trouble believing it.”

“Okie dokie lokie,” said Pinkie happily. “What do you think it is, Twilight?”

A pause. Twilight Sparkle sighed. “I honestly have no idea, Pinkie.”

Somepony screamed. A mare, from the center of town. Twilight’s head snapped up towards the noise. A glance at Pinkie. They took off towards Ponyville, leaving only a cloud of dust and a few loose bolts behind.

A crowd had formed outside of city hall. Twilight and Pinkie pushed their way forward, aided a bit by their floating train engine. A white pony, Nurse Redheart, caught their eyes and waved them forward past the rest of the crowd.

“What’s happening?” asked Twilight.

The Nurse sighed. “Go inside and see for yourself. Then come out and help us disperse the crowd.”

The two Elements of Harmony hurried up the steps.

City Hall was abuzz with activity, far more than it had seen in quite a while. Mayor Mare stood a ways away, holding Daisy and fanning her with a folded bit of paper.

Medical ponies ran to and fro, the bulk of them heading to the center where a familiar caramel Doctor stood, manipulating needles and bandages with his magic.

A rather large colt, dressed in blue scrubs, placed himself between Twilight and Pinkie. “I’m sorry, ma’am,” he said, “but I can’t let you pass. The patient’s in critical condition and we can’t let anypony disturb the doctor.”

A pony ran passed, carrying fresh bandages.

“What’s happened?” asked Twilight.

“It’s--” the colt blinked, “--where did your friend go?”

“Twilight!” Pinkie Pie was on the other side of the colt, a slightly panicked look in her eye. “It’s another one! Another human just showed up!”

Author's Note

Will add A/N later! YAY!

Useless

Professor Normal blinked slowly, staring through the three inch pane of glass. The subject had been standing on the other side, slouched, emaciated, clutching that black box in his hand. He had pressed the button.

And the world had blinked.

“Interesting,” muttered Professor Normal. “How positively abnormal. Bob, go in there and check for radiation.”

Bob nodded and glanced around the room. No hazmat suit to be found. No protection against radiation at all, really. He turned back towards the villain. Professor Normal gestured towards the opposite room. The minion saluted sharply and exited through the door, reappearing a moment late, holding a geiger counter, on the other side of the window. Bob stood there, worriedly staring at his counter. The needle twitched a bit, but never crossed into a dangerous zone. Breathing a sigh of relief, Bob gave the all-clear sign.

Professor Normal crossed into the room. The only difference lay in the now missing superhero.

“He’s gone,” marvelled the villain. “Not a trace of him.”

“Er… sir?” asked Bob. Professor Normal turned towards his minion. Bob was strangely pale beneath, his eyes fixed on some point on the floor.

“What?” asked the villain. “What are you looking… oh.”

An arm lay on the floor, blood still flowing from the open wound. It had been severed cleanly, almost exactly at the shoulder. The hero’s short sleeve, tattered from his stay at the Evil League of Evil still lay on top of the arm.

Professor Normal walked over to the arm, calmly plucking it off of the floor and inspecting it.

“How fascinating.” He threw the appendage at Bob, the panicked minion turning even paler as he caught it.

“Study that, Bob.”

“I--” Bob swallowed, trying to keep his bile down, “--I’ll get my best men on this.”

“No,” said Professor Normal with a smile. “I want you to study it. Personally. Take blood and tissue samples, Bob. I don’t want you separated from this arm for a moment. Unlike our subject.” The Professor laughed.

Bob nodded, holding the arm delicately as he walked back outside. Professor Normal made to follow, smiling to himself, when a pink sparkle caught his eye. The stone lay in a corner of the room, a few feet away from where he arm had landed. Professor Normal walked over to it, holding it up to the light.

“You’re still here, are you?” he asked the stone. “How interesting.”

***

“This isn’t it.” Dr. Horrible turned over the piece of metal in his hands before tossing it aside.

“No, this won’t work either.” He stepped back from his desk, breathing in sharply, his gloved hands resting behind his head. “Shit. Shit.”

The human let out a breath, then turned back to the mangled monitor laying on his work station. He stabbed his hands into it, bringing out circuits and resistors, enough to jury rig a flashlight or something, but it wasn’t enough! What good was a flashlight when he wanted to tear through dimensions? What good was a flashlight if it didn’t get him any closer to Penny!

Billy froze, the name ringing in his ears. Penny. Kind, beautiful Penny, trying to make a difference, trying so hard to do something great, to do something selfless for the sheer sake of helping others. Cold, lifeless Penny, dead in his hands by his first death ray, the one that Dr. Horrible hadn’t fired.

But he did.

He fired the ray, he was the hero, he was… together with Penny. Captain Hammer took the shot with a defective death ray, a shot intended for Dr. Horrible but it failed. The ray backfired, exploding, scratching the hero’s hand and sending him running somewhere. The metal shrapnel hit Penny, right in the chest.

Dr. Horrible clutched at his workbench, his knuckles turning white with the force of his grip. He was shaking under the strength of his memories, breathing heavily as everything came crashing in his mind, threatening to crush Billy.

The villain held the girl as she died by the hero’s hand. No, wrong. His weapon, hidden as a statue, snuck in by him, put into place, pointed at the hero. He had done his monologue, followed the script, he was a villain, evil, horrible.

Fire.

Fire.

He fired. Right into Penny’s heart. The villain killed the girl. Like he was supposed to. Read the script, play the part. Be horrible.

Dr. Horrible loosened his grip on his desk, taking a moment to rub at his eyes. “Alright,” he muttered to himself, “I can do this.”

Applejack walked down into the laboratory, a mug of cider precariously balanced on her head.

“You sure that you don’t want anything? Twi’s got plenty more cider upstairs; she’s a bit of a drinker. Not as heavy as Dash or Pinkie, but she’s certainly got a few more mugs worth.”

The villain didn’t respond, hardly even turning as he snapped his goggles into place. AJ shrugged and situated herself back onto the couch.

Dr. Horrible brought his hands together in front of him, almost seeming to pray as he surveyed the gutted machine. Most of the monitor would be useless to him, that much was evident. This technology was years behind what he was used to. It certainly didn’t help that the only monitors the hospital was willing to part with were broken down.

But not everything here is useless, Dr. Horrible thought to himself as he drove his hands back into the monitor. I just have to keep remembering that.

He spent the next few minutes trying to find those useful parts, finessing them out of their place with a surgeon’s precision, a task that required a surgeon’s focu--

“You’re pretty good at that,” said Applejack from the corner of the room.

Dr. Horrible visibly cringed. He turned towards the disturbance. “Can you not talk right now. I’m doing some very delicate work.”

“It looks like you’re rippin’ the guts outta that there machine.”

Dr. Horrible narrowed his eyes, the effect perhaps diminished by his buggy goggles. “Delicate. Work.”

Applejack shrugged. “Alright. Sorry ‘bout the interruption, then.”

The villain turned back towards his work. The pony sipped at her drink.

Dr. Horrible tore at his machine for a few more minutes, throwing aside useless objects and carefully storing anything that could possibly be used. There wasn’t much. Circuits, resistors, transistors, random bits of wiring, things that one could find at their local Radio Shack. But nowhere near what Dr. Horrible would need.

He stepped aside again, his eyes closed behind his goggles, his hands pressed firmly together.

Okay. Okay. I can work with this. There’s… there’s a way out of this. I know there is. I just have to think for a bit and find it. I can… I can…

The door to the library burst open, the door slamming against the wall a split second before two sets of hooves pounded down the stairs.

Twilight Sparkle led the way, Pinkie close on her heels, nuts and bolts flying out of the pink mare’s mane.

“Doctor!” shouted Twilight. “There’s another one!” The old train engine slammed into the floor, a cloud of dust rising up from the stone.

Dr. Horrible turned, angrily taking off his goggles. “Do none of you understand the meaning of delicate work?”

“Nope!” shouted Pinkie happily. “Does it mean that the work’s easy to break? How are you supposed to break work, silly?”

The villain turned towards Pinkie Pie, his eyes narrowed, an insult on the tip of his tongue, poised to wipe the ever-present grin from her face. He paused. Then he turned towards Twilight.

“Another?” he asked. “Another what?”

***

Dr. Horrible looked down at the hospital bed. A man lay in it, a bandage firmly tied around a stump of an arm. His eyes were closed, his breathing steady, but he was thin, starved, obviously far weaker than the last time that Dr. Horrible had seen him.

“Do you know him?” asked Nurse Redheart.

Dr. Horrible couldn’t hear her. The blood was raging in his ears, his gloved hands working open and closed. His mouth was dry, so very dry, as if he hadn’t drank anything in days.

“Doctor?” asked the nurse forcefully. Dr. Horrible turned. “Do you know him?”

Dr. Horrible’s voice came out quietly, ragged and dry. “I don’t want to be in here.”

“What?”

“I… I…” Dr. Horrible turned suddenly, storming towards the exit.

“Doctor, wait!” shouted the nurse. She trotted after Dr. Horrible as he roughly shoved his way into the hall and past the three mares waiting outside.

Twilight jumped to her hooves. “Doctor?”

Dr. Horrible hurried past them, his vision clouded, his breath coming out in ragged pants. He made it out of the hospital before Twilight teleported in front of him.

“Doctor,” she said worriedly. “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t want to go in there,” muttered Dr. Horrible. “I’ll kill him. I swear to whatever you believe in, I’ll kill him with my own hands.”

“Whoah there sugarcube,” cut in Applejack. “Where’s this coming from?”

“I’ll kill him. Don’t make me go back in there.”

“Ain’t nopony gonna make you do anything, Doctor.”

“Dr. Horrible,” began Nurse Redheart, “why are you threatening to kill one of my patients?”

“It’s… Nothing.” Dr. Horrible turned away, side-stepping around Twilight. “Leave me alone. I have to go work.”

Twilight stepped with him, cutting off his path of escape. “Who is he, Doctor?”

Dr. Horrible glared down at the unicorn. There was nothing but concern in her violet eyes. “He’s a hero,” he spat out vehemently. Dr. Horrible stepped around Twilight again, but the unicorn blocked his path.

“And you think that you’re a villain,” said Twilight.

“I am a villain! I’m Dr. Horrible! I hold the highest degree in evil!”

“And who’s the hero?”

Dr. Horrible felt his jaw tighten. “That’s…” He took a deep breath to steady himself. “Captain Hammer. That’s his name.” A white-hot fury spread up through Dr. Horrible’s neck. He stepped aside, roughly pushing his way past Twilight. “Now leave me alone!”

Twilight let him pass this time. The human stormed back towards the library.

“Pinkie, Applejack,” said Twilight, “go with him. I’ll stay here at the hospital and see if I don’t have any spells to wake up ‘Captain Hammer’.”

Pinkie gave a quick salute before she and Applejack trotted off to join the human.

***

Dr. Horrible walked through the streets of Ponyville, dozens of eyes fixed upon him. Ponies stopped in the streets to stare, some hung out of there windows. A few tried for tentative waves, but the human ignored them all.

He’s here, thought Dr. Horrible. Why is he here? How the hell did he follow me here?! Last I heard, he was little more than a sniveling wreck over that little burn he got. And now he’s here?

He slammed his fist onto a nearby wall, the sharp pain shooting through his arm and into his shoulder and stomach. “WHY?!” he shouted.

“Doctor?” asked a tentatively bright voice.

“You alright there?” asked another.

Dr. Horrible turned, seeing Applejack and Pinkie Pie through a haze. “Go away,” he said quietly.

“I have to get back to the library.”

“You’re going the wrong way, sugarcube.”

The villain turned a bit more. The giant oak tree, visible from almost any point in town, was towards his back. “Yeah. Yeah, I knew that.” He set off shakily towards it, closely flanked by the two mares.

“Is there anything you wanna talk about?” asked Applejack.

“We’re good at talking,” assured Pinkie. “We do a lot of it.”

“No talking. Just walk.”

“Can I sing?” asked Pinkie. “I’ve been writing a song to cheer ponies up and it’s still a work in progress, but it might work a little bit.”

“No singing.”

Pinkie nodded sadly. “... Okay.”

They walked on in silence, no singing, no talking. They came to the entrance of Golden Oaks library before long, entering Twilight’s home and wordlessly heading downstairs.

Dr. Horrible stepped towards his workbench, lifting and turning the pieces in his hands. Nothing new came from the monitor. He turned towards the engine, his hands working quickly and numbly, unscrewing and prying and tearing until the engine came undone. There were a few more parts to add to his collection, things that he could use. But not for a trans-dimensional transporter.

“Useless,” he whispered. “Absolutely useless.” Dr. Horrible quietly slid to his knees, resting his forehead on his workbench.

“I’m useless.”

***

Twilight Sparkle stood over Captain Hammer. She held her horn over him, a purple field running over the human's comatose body. The magic dispersed after running over him a few times.

"Anything we have to worry about?" asked Nurse Redheart.

Twilight shook her head. "Nothing but the obvious. Blood loss, missing appendage, shock, malnutrition. He's not in very good shape. But I'd like to run one more test."

The unicorn turned back towards the human, firmly planted against the hospital floor. Her magic flared one more time, forming an ellipse around his body. The ellipse tightened, slowly approaching the body.

A bright flash exploded in the middle of the room, a white glow that blinded Nurse Redheart and threw long, black shadows on the wall. It lasted only a moment, but completely disoriented the two ponies. Twilight recovered first, shaking the stars out of her eyes. She stared at Captain Hammer's motionless form, then broke out into a grin, happily bouncing around the room.

"Yesyesyesyesyesyesyes!"

Nurse Redheart blinked, a red glow still clouding her eyes. "Twilight what in the name of Tartarus did you just do?!"

"It's magic!" shouted the unicorn gleefully. "He has magic around him! Very very very powerful magic!" Twilight stopped bouncing, quickly rushing forwards and grabbing Nurse Redheart's shoulders. "Did he have anything with him? Something that Dr. Horrible didn't have?"

The nurse raised an eyebrow. "I don't think I should tell you, considering your last reaction to something that a human patient carried."

"So he did have something."

Nurse Redheart glared at Twilight, then sighed. "Fine. I'll show you, but you need to Pinkie Promise not to do anything to take the thing away from the patient."

Twilight Sparkle's face drooped in slight disappointment, but brightened just as quickly. "Okay. Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye." She did the accompanying movements.

"The full thing," said Redheart.

"The full thing?" asked Twilight dismally.

"Yup."

The unicorn let out a small sigh, then recited with far less enthusiasm: "Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye. If to Redheart I should lie, I better kiss my flank goodbye." She silently thanked Celestia that there were no movements to that last line.

Nurse Redheart nodded, satisfied. She trotted out of the room, returning a moment later, clutching a small black box in her teeth. She placed it on the bed stand before speaking. "He had this. And that's it."

Twilight levitated the box, turning it and inspecting every inch. "A black box... is this what he was looking for?" Her horn flared, the same ellipse flaring around the box and approaching it. Nurse Redheart braced herself.

There was no flash this time. The magic passed through the box and dissipated.

Twilight blinked. "I... don't understand. There's no magic in this. Then... how?" She turned over the box again, then held it in her hooves. There was an indentation in the box, vaguely butterfly shaped.

"I don't understand," she repeated.

Author's Note

The holidays are over! Hurray! Hurray! I can finally update things! Hurray!

Return

“Doctor?”

Dr. Horrible fiddled with the old train engine, his gloved hands turning and tearing, reducing the hunk of metal into its barest components. He didn’t so much as turn towards Twilight Sparkle’s voice.

“Doctor?” she asked again.

“It won’t work,” said Applejack from a corner of the laboratory, “he’s been like that since we got back here. Hasn’t hardly took a step away from that engine.”

Twilight shook her head, marching directly towards the human. “Doctor, we have to talk.”

A sheet of metal fell to the floor with an echoing clang.

“Doctor!”

“Horrible,” muttered Dr. Horrible.

A pause, slightly out of confusion and slightly out of disbelief that the human had actually spoken.

“What?”

“Not Doctor. Just Horrible.” His hands darted forward again, yanking out an regular chunk of dark metal.

Twilight blinked, then shook her head. “Doctor, I’m not going to do that. I don’t go around calling ponies horrible, but I just need you to listen to me!”

Dr. Horrible put down his screwdriver in favor of a monkey wrench. He banged on a bolt a few times to loosen it up, then clamped the wrench’s teeth firmly onto it.

Twilight sighed. “Doctor… Horrible.”

The human gave one last twist, pulling the bolt from its socket before turning towards the unicorn. “What?”

“Doc--Horrible. The other human, the one at the hospital. You know him, don’t you?”

Dr. Horrible froze, his eyes going slightly out of focus before snapping back onto Twilight’s eyes. “Not important,” he muttered.

“But you do know him?”

Dr. Horrible stayed silent. Then he shook his head. “No. No idea who he is.”

Twilight looked towards Applejack. The Element of Honesty shook her head. “I don’t believe it, not for a second. He’s lyin’.”

The unicorn turned back with an accusing glare. “Doctor, why would you lie about this?!”

Dr. Horrible turned back towards the engine, taking up his screwdriver again. “I’m not.”

“Still lyin’,” said Applejack helpfully. “If Pinkie hadn’t had to go off to Sugarcube Corner, she’d have ya swear a Pinkie Promise, Doctor.”

“Not Doctor,” insisted the human, “Dr. Horrible.”

AJ rolled her eyes.

“Dr. Horrible,” said Twilight, “who is he?”

Another bit of the engine came off. Dr. Horrible turned this one over in his hands before tossing it aside. “A hero,” he spat, the customary sneer he normally gave the word colored by hate.

“And you’re supposed to be a villain, right?” asked Twilight.

“I am a villain.” Clang, went a piece of the engine. “And Captain Hammer is the big damn hero.”

Twilight placed a hoof on his chin. “But why is he here?”

“I don’t know, and I don’t care. I just wanna get out of here.”

Twilight Sparkle cast an eye over her laboratory. It was a mess, bits and pieces of engine and the dissected carcasses of monitors standing on the floor and cluttering her desks. But that’s all there was. Only bits and pieces and messes.

Nothing that could get Dr. Horrible home.

***

Nurse Redheart rounded the human’s hospital bed, a clipboard carried in one hoof, a pencil set in her mouth and an inquisitive look on her face. Heart rate was steady, a bit more color had returned to the patient’s skin, though his natural color seemed to be a sickly pale.

She scribbled a note.

Still missing an arm, but magic could only fix so much. Therapy would be necessary. Not that she or any doctor currently in residence knew what kind of therapy would be necessary. It would be best to transfer the patient to Fluttershy sometime soon. She should have more knowledge on the matter. Of course, that would have to wait until the patient was at least consci--

The human’s eyes snapped open, revealing bright blue eyes as he let out a rasping gasp.

Nurse Redheart rushed to the doorway. “Doctor!” she called before dashing back to the human’s side. His face was frantic, eyes opened wide and almost fearful.

“Hi,” said the nurse in a comforting tone. “I’m Nurse Redheart, and this is probably a bit of a shock but I need you to relax and not panic. You’re in a hospital and--”

The human’s eyes fogged over, bright blue now tinged into a cloudy grey. His gaze turned blank.

“I don’t think that’s nor--”

A fist lashed out, catching Nurse Redheart in the chest, sending her crashing into the wall on the other side of the rather small room. Her head whipped back with a sickening crack. She slid to the floor and lay there, motionless. The human, thin and emaciated as he was, still had all of his strength.

Captain Hammer climbed slowly to his feet, the stump where his arm formerly sat wiggling slightly. He glanced down, noticing the missing appendage for the first time and, as he could not remove the various wires with that arm, he used his teeth to rip out the tubing. The screen monitoring his heart rate showed a straight line and let out a high-pitched whine.

A doctor, upon hearing the high-pitched whine ran into Captain Hammer’s room, his stethoscope flying behind him and his magic already flaring in preparation for a healing spell. He was met by a flying monitor, scarcely able to put up a weak shield before it knocked him out of the room and left him unconscious.

The human walked calmly towards Nurse Redheart’s body, fishing out a small black box that just barely poked out of one of her uniform’s pockets.

“Dr. Horrible,” muttered Captain Hammer. He glanced around the room, his eyes eventually setting on a window through which sat a small hamlet of a town. Captain Hammer strode forward, knocking out the windows with two swings of his fist. He climbed through, making his way towards the town proper at a striding pace.

***

Dr. Horrible lifted his goggles to his forehead, massaging his face with one gloved hand. “There,” he said, “finished.”

Twilight’s head shot up. She quickly cantered over to the desk, craning her neck to see the small metal tube that Dr. Horrible held in his hands. “What is it?”

“It’s something. It’s not what I need, but it’s something.”

“Well, that narrows it down.”

Dr. Horrible pocketed the tube and turned back towards his materials. The engine had yielded a few useful parts. A bit bulkier than Dr. Horrible would have liked, but certainly not terribly useless. He could build things now. Not what he needed to build. Not even close to what he needed to build. But he could still build things, keep his hands busy, until he thought of a way out.

If you can, said a dark voice in the back of his head. You were only able to build your first transporter after years and years of research. How old were you when you started the calculations? Ten? Twelve?

It only took me months to build, rebutted Billy.

Ah yes. Months of sleepless nights and haunting nightmares. You didn’t do anything else for those months, hardly even left your laboratory. And now look at you, working in a glorified stable.

I can still do this.

You don’t even think that’s true.

“I can still do this!”

Twilight Sparkle flinched at the outburst. Off in the corner, Applejack let out a snort, startling herself out of her slumber.

Dr. Horrible glanced at both of them. “I can still do this,” he repeated at a more suitable level.

“Doctor,” said Twilight, “are you okay?”

“Fine,” replied the human automatically. “Fine.”

Silence fell on the laboratory. Dr. Horrible turned back to his various working implements. He picked up one piece, and then another, then another, pressing them up against each other, allowing his hands to build while his mind wandered.

The voices. They had been bothering him for quite some time. Two of them, always two, never more. Not insane, he couldn’t be insane, certainly not. Because the voices were steady, one dark, one light. One hate and one hope. One that made him think of the days before that day and one that dragged him right back down to the present.

Dr. Horrible and Billy.

They were both him, though he felt certain that he was now more Dr. Horrible than Billy. Dr. Horrible was terrible. A villain who would brandish his death ray at anything. One of the very few villains who could say that they had defeated their heroes. Yes, he was Dr. Horrible. Not Billy.

Poor Billy. Romantic, failure, his mind filled with thoughts of a girl who he could never speak to, never approach, only stare at. From across the laundromat.

Poor Billy. Who had dipped his clothes in mud just to have an excuse to be there with her, just to be there with her. Not to talk. Just to be near her.

Poor Billy. His love dead. He had killed her. Or Dr. Horrible had killed her. It was hard to tell sometimes. Penny for his thoughts. Not for his life, only for his thoughts. That was funny.

Poor Billy.

“Doctor,” began Twilight, “what’s that?”

Dr. Horrible glanced down at his hands. He held a crude metal man, thin wires for his arms and legs, small rectangles of metal for feet and hands, a metal tube for a body with a bolt acting as the head. He turned it over a few times.

“A tin man,” decided Dr. Horrible. “Probably looking for his heart.”

Twilight cocked her head slightly. “Like from The Alicorn of Oz?”

A pause. “Alicorn?”

“Like the Princesses. They’re alicorns. Well, accept that this one wasn’t really an alicorn. He was a unicorn who was using a projection spell to display himself as an alicorn.”

“Ah. How… interesting, I guess.”

“And how is it in your world?”

Dr. Horrible thought for a moment. Oz, the Great and Powerful. A simple man trying to be more than he was, hiding his true nature from the view of others. Because he had to.

The human pocketed the mechanical man. “Not that different.”

A rainbow blur streaked into the laboratory, sliding to a stop right before crashing into Dr. Horrible.

“Twilight!” shouted Rainbow Dash. “That other human’s tearing through Ponyville!”

“What?!” Twilight jumped through her hooves.

Rainbow nodded a few times. “He’s tossing over stalls and throwing ponies around and… And he says that he’s looking for Dr. Horrible.”

All eyes in the room turned towards the human. Dr. Horrible’s face was grim, his left hand twitching instinctively towards his forearm, flicking a switch that currently sat somewhere in Canterlot. His finger twitched again. And again.

“Dr. Horrible,” said Twilight Sparkle, allowing the name to hang in the air.

The human was silent, his finger absentmindedly switching his weapon between Death and Destruction.

Not our problem, said Dr. Horrible resolutely. What do we care if Captain Hammer rampages through the town?

Death! shouted Billy. Kill him! For Penny! For everything!

Dr. Horrible sat there, fiddling with a weapon that he did not have.

***

Captain Hammer walked through Ponyville, turning over anything that stood in his way, meticulously scouring the streets for any sign of Dr. Horrible. His stump of an arm was wrapped in bloodied bandages, the relatively fresh wound having long since torn open.

]He muttered the entire time that he walked, like some sort of chant. “Dr. Horrible must return to the Evil League of Evil.”

The ponies of Ponyville scattered before him as he tromped through every street and alley, into houses and restaurants, but every once in a while one would not move fast enough, and Captain Hammer would toss them aside with a swing of his good arm.

Captain Hammer stomped out of an alley, overturning a dumpster and nearly crushing a mare with it. He rounded the corner, trekking back up one of the main streets, hardly noticing when a voice from somewhere above his head shouted, “There!”

Three figures, two of them running on hooves and the last on legs, ran down the road. Another pony dived down from the sky to join them.

Dr. Horrible felt his blood boil at the sight of Captain Hammer. The villain’s gloved hands clenched and his teeth were set on edge.

Die! insisted Billy.

Captain Hammer caught sight of the human, letting out one last chant of “Dr. Horrible must return to the Evil League of Evil” before striding down the street to meet them.

“Stop!” shouted Twilight. Captain Hammer showed no signs of doing so.

“Fine,” said Rainbow Dash, “then we’ll do this the hard way!” She flew up again, then came diving down her hoof extended, building speed as she barrelled towards Captain Hammer.

The hero lashed out, catching Rainbow Dash’s wing and sending her careening into the turned over dumpster.

]Applejack ran down the street, pulling her lasso from her hat and cleanly looping the rope around Captain Hammer. The human planted himself firmly grabbing the lasso, the rope pulling taut as the two strained against each other.

“Come… on… now,” forced out AJ, sweat forming on her brow. “Ain’t… gonna… let myself… lose... now!”

Captain Hammer let out a shout and gave one last massive pull, sending Applejack to the floor, the rope falling from her teeth and the hero stepping out of the loop.

A purple aura sprouted around Captain Hammer’s legs, freezing them into place. The hero bent, almost falling as his stride was disturbed, but managing to keep his footing. His face turned red as he fought against his restraints.

Twilight struggled too, her entire body shaking and her eyes squeezed shut as her magic strained against Captain Hammer’s strength. “Doctor! If you’re gonna do something, do it now!”

Dr. Horrible walked towards the trapped hero. A heat began at his neck, growing upwards with each passing step. He trembled, his knees locking, making every single movement awkward and the few yards to Captain Hammer seem like an eternity.

The villain stood before the hero, staring up into dark grey eyes. Captain Hammer no longer strained against Twilight’s magic.

“What are you doing here?” whispered Dr. Horrible. “How… How in the world did you end up HERE?!” His fist lashed out, catching Captain Hammer’s jaw. “Why the hell are you here?!” His other fist came out now, striking the hero. “STAY AWAY FROM ME!” Dr. Horrible brought his fist back, about to drive it forward. A purple aura sprouted around it. A lasso tightened around his arm. Two light blue hooves grasped his hand.

“Stop it!” cried the three mares.

Captain Hammer stared down blankly at the villain, his lip torn and a stream of blood dripping down his left nostril. The bandages around his side had come loose at some point, the barest hint of raw flesh peaking out from the white strips of cloth as drops of blood steadily fell to the streets.

The hero knelt, bowing his head towards the villain and holding up a small black box.

“Dr. Horrible must return to the Evil League of Evil.”

Author's Note

Captain Planet. He's a hero. Gonna bring pollution down to zero.

Die

Dr. Horrible lifted a gloved hand, pointing down at the small black box. “You… W-why?”

“Dr. Horrible must return to the Evil League of Evil.” Captain Hammer pushed the box forward. The villain twitched back, as though the box were venom.

“Why do you have that?” Dr. Horrible’s voice was quiet, his voice shaking slightly.

“Dr. Horrible must return to the Evil League of Evil.”

“Why do you have that?!”

“Dr. Horrible must return to the Evi--”

“SHUT UP!”

Captain Hammer went silent. His hand stayed where it was, the box laying on his open palm. Dr. Horrible snatched the box, holding it firmly with both hands. Captain Hammer didn’t move.

The villain turned the box over and over, looking for some flaw, some imperfection, anything that proved that it was a forgery. Nothing. It was perfect. It was his. “Why the hell do you have this?”

Captain Hammer stayed silent.

Twilight Sparkle blinked, her eyes bouncing back and forth between the two humans. “Dr. Horrible,” she began, “what’s happening?”

But Dr. Horrible ignored her, rounding instead on Captain Hammer. “Why are you here?”

Captain Hammer stayed silent.

“Where did you find this?” Dr. Horrible brandished the box.

No response.

The villain’s hand lashed out, savagely striking Captain Hammer. “ANSWER ME!”

Applejack, Twilight, and Rainbow twitched forward slightly, making to restrain Dr. Horrible. But the blow had come too quickly for them to do anything. A small crowd had been steadily forming around the scene, ponies craning their necks around each other to get a better view.

A steady stream of blood dribbled from a gash in Captain Hammer’s top lip. He didn’t move to wipe it away. “Dr. Horrible must return to the Evil League of Evil.”

Dr. Horrible scowled, rubbing at his face with his gloved hands. “The League. Why do you care about the League?!”

“I live for the League.”

A chill spread across the villain’s back, climbing quickly up his neck and into his face. “You what?”

“I live for the League,” said Captain Hammer.

Dr. Horrible paused, his hands resting on his face, his eyes slightly unfocused as he gazed at Captain Hammer. “Repeat that.”

“I live for the League.”

“Stand.”

Captain Hammer stood.

“... Spin.”

The hero spun in a tight circle, turning again and again.

“Stop.”

Captain Hammer stopped.

Dr. Horrible stepped forward, his hand reaching into his pocket and producing the small flashlight he had made. “Don’t move.” One hand reached out, holding open Captain Hammer’s eyes as the other shined a light into it. They were clouded, unfocused, not even watering at the bright light. No trace of Captain Hammer in those eyes.

A snort of laughter burst out of Dr. Horrible’s lips. Then a chuckle. Then Dr. Horrible roared with laughter. Doubled over in his mirth, Dr. Horrible stood in the streets of Ponyville and laughed and laughed and laughed.

***

Click.

“No! I didn’t want to click that one! Damn it!”

Professor Normal sat at his desk, his computer opened to Minesweeper. A small box popped up, just under a yellow smiley face with Xs for eyes, which proudly proclaimed that he had lost 30 games in a row.

“Stupid game,” cursed the villain, closing the window and poising his finger to start a new game.

There was a knock at the door.

Professor Normal sighed, switching his screen to an official-looking page of Google Docs. “Enter.”

The door swung open noisily, revealing a slightly green minion. “You asked me to report to you, sir?”

“Ah, Bob! Nice to see you again. I figured that you’ve had quite enough time to give that arm a once over.” Professor Normal leaned forward slightly. “Tell me, son, what did you and your team find?”

Bob gulped, trying to work the sight and smell of blood out of his senses. “I-It was severed, sir. A very clean wound, delivered in an instant, without losing any of its momentum as it traveled through Captain Hammer’s arm. It resembles a guillotine wound, sir. If guillotines could be razor sharp.”

Professor Normal smiled. “Robespierre has been dabbling in interdimensional travel, has he?”

Silence fell on the room.

“Laugh.”

Bob laughed. Professor Normal smiled again, leaning back in his chair and motioning for Bob to continue.

“Sir, we’re not entirely sure what caused the wound, but my team and I believe that it came from the lack of energy stored within the crystal.”

“And why is that, Bob?”

“There was something, sir. In the room with Captain Hammer when he disappeared. My team and I reviewed the equipment we had and detected a field of some force, originating from the box and growing outwards, like a bubble. It enveloped most of Captain Hammer, stopping just past his shoulder.”

“Right at the incision site, I assume?”

“Yes, sir.”

Professor Normal steepled the tips of his fingers. “So, the bubble burst, taking everything within it to wherever Dr. Horrible went and leaving everything else. Including Captain Hammer’s arm.”

Bob turned a deeper shade of green. “Yes, sir.”

“How fascinating.” Professor Normal leaned back in his chair. “Bob, would you care to explain why, if the jewel was attached to the box, the jewel did not disappear with everything else?”

Bob froze. “I… I don’t know, sir.”

“Mmmmm. And Bob, why do we have the box in the first place? Why did it disappear this time and not when Dr. Horrible used it?”

“I don’t know, sir.”

“I see…” Professor Normal got to his feet, walking slowly towards the minion. “Well, you had best return to that vein of research. Answer those questions, then find a way to reenergize the crystal.” The villain came to a stop just in front of Bob. “Is that clear?”

“Yes, sir.”

Professor Normal smiled, softly slapping Bob’s cheek twice. “There’s a good boy.” He strode past Bob, throwing open the door. “If anyone needs me, I’ll be visiting with Snake Bite for the next hour or so. We have something to discuss.”

***

“Poison?” asked Twilight Sparkle.

Dr. Horrible nodded, a slight smile still on his face. “Yes, that’s Snake Bite’s specialty. Mostly poison for killing, but it can be used for… other purposes.”

“So you brainwashed him?!”

Captain Hammer had been returned to the hospital, tame as a puppy considering that Dr. Horrible could make him do anything with a few words. Dr. Horrible, Applejack, Twilight, and Rainbow Dash sat in Captain Hammer’s old hospital room. The once hero sat in a corner, staring vigilantly at nothing.

Dr. Horrible shrugged. “It wasn’t me. Besides we’re not the Evil League of Evil for nothing.”

“Wait,” cut in Rainbow Dash, “you’re an actual villain? Like, with a league of other villains and everything?”

A pause. “What, did the death ray not give it away?”

“I thought you were kidding!”

“You brainwashed him?!” repeated Twilight, slightly louder.

“No, I didn’t,” said Dr. Horrible with a roll of his eyes. “Snake Bite did. Probably as a birthday present to me or something. I didn’t even know Captain Hammer was in the League.”

“As… a present,” said Applejack.

Dr. Horrible smiled. “Yes, she’s very thoughtful.”

“And that box?” asked Twilight uneasily. “Why do you have that box?”

The villain tossed the box from hand to hand, smiling down at it. “It’s how I got here. It’s also my way back home.”

Twilight Sparkle’s eyes lit up, one hoof lifting subconsciously to examine the new piece of technology. “How does it work?”

“It doesn’t. Not yet anyway.” Dr. Horrible’s smile slipped slightly. “It’s missing something very important. A jewel with just the right index of refraction.” He lifted the box slightly. “A jewel that can shatter dimensions.”

“You brought him back here,” said a highly unamused voice from the doorway. Nurse Redheart stood there, a slight scrunch to her muzzle and the edges of bandages poking from her nurse’s cap. “Wonderful.”

“Nurse Redheart,” said Twilight worriedly, “are you okay?”

The nurse made a dismissive gesture. “Slight concussion. Largely healed now, but I’m being forced to head back home for some rest.” She turned towards Captain Hammer. “This one is a bit of a problem.”

Dr. Horrible snorted. “You have no idea.”

Nurse Redheart turned curiously towards him. “And you do, do you?”

“Yeah!” Rainbow Dash stepped a bit closer towards the villain. “What gives, Doctor? Why’s this guy tearing up Ponyville?”

“Why do you think that he’s your ‘present’?” asked Twilight.

Nurse Redheart furrowed her brow. “His what?”

“He’s a hero,” said Dr. Horrible, “and I’m a villain. I think that I’ve said this before.”

“But what does that mean?” asked Applejack.

Rainbow Dash nodded. “Yeah! You haven’t really been much of a villain. I mean, a bit of a jerk, yeah but not evil.”

Three sets of hooves sounded on the hospital’s hallways. Fluttershy, Rarity, and Pinkie Pie slid into the room, sending out various calls of worries.

“Are you all okay?!”

“We heard what happened, and we came as quickly as we could!”

“Y-You’re not hurt, are you?”

“We’re fine, girls,” said Twilight. She turned pointedly towards Dr. Horrible. “He was just going to tell us why we had a brainwashed, one-armed human running through Ponyville.”

“Brainwashed?” asked Rarity.

“To be fair,” said Dr. Horrible with a slight smile. “I’m not sure why he only has one arm.” A note of venom entered his voice. “But I hope that he felt every moment of pain.” He turned, looking at the figure in the corner. “Hey, Captain! Did it hurt when your arm came off?”

Captain Hammer nodded. “Very painful, sir.”

“Good,” spat Dr. Horrible.

“Doctor!” protested Twilight.

“Oh, don’t give me that crap! You don’t know what he did!”

“Then why don’t you tell us?” asked Pinkie.

“Because I don’t want to!”

Rarity let out a light scoff. “Well, that’s certainly quite the attitude to take.”

“C’mon, sugarcube,” said Applejack softly. “We want to know.”

“Please, Doctor?” asked Fluttershy. “Can we lend a helping hoof?”

Dr. Horrible worked his jaw, glancing from pony to pony. His eyes rested on Fluttershy. “He’s a liar. A braggart. A narcissist, a false idol, an idiot, and one of the most terrible people that I have ever met. He doesn’t care for anything except himself and tricks everyone into thinking that he’s the hero! He took everything from me and the people cheered for HIM!”

The room was silent. The villain breathed heavily and deeply.

“The last I heard of him,” continued Dr. Horrible, “he was in therapy. Crying, complaining about how much pain he was in. I had hurt him. Burned him or something, just a little bit. The first time that he had ever felt pain.” The smallest degree of pride colored those words, but it was quickly swept away. “But I didn’t kill him. You know, that’s one of the requirements for getting into the Evil League of Evil. We have to kill someone.”

“Y-You’ve killed?” asked Fluttershy quietly.

Dr. Horrible kept his gaze on the floor. “I can,” he whispered. “I can kill. It would be so easy to do it. I could do it right now.” He pushed himself off of the bed, striding over to the corner of the room, grabbing Captain Hammer by his hair and forcing him to look up.

The villain’s vision was tinted with red, the same red that had flashed through the room so long ago. “Why do you live?”

“I live for the League.”

“What do you do?”

“Whatever the League asks.”

“Doctor, what are you doing?” asked Twilight.

“Is there anything you wouldn’t do?”

The ponies were all on their hooves. Somepony called out, “Doctor!” Dr. Horrible couldn’t tell who.

“No,” said Captain Hammer.

“Then listen to me.” Dr. Horrible might have been shouting or whispering. The ponies could have been screaming into his ears or deathly silent. He couldn’t tell. All he could hear was the blood pounding through his ears.

Captain Hammer stared up at the villain with clouded eyes.

Something wrapped around Dr. Horrible’s body, dragging him backwards. The villain held firmly onto the hero’s hair.

“Die, Captain Hammer! I want you to DIE!"

Author's Note

Well, not my longest update, but I rather like how this chapter came out. In fact, I think that I just like writing this story in general. It's not what I normally do, but I get to cut off Captain Hammer's arm, then have Dr. Horrible sentence him to death!
So that's fun!