A Whole New World

I know I have had a lot of bad dreams in the past, but this one was the worst. How could I tell? I legitimately screamed as I woke.

It had been the same nightmare as before. The dark hallways and the creature that carried my guilt. I had run from him for hours, but Twilight wasn't there to save me this time. The hall I was running down became a dead end, and I pounded on the wall before turning to face the abomination that was my copy. He sprinted towards me at full speed, but when I thought he was about to ram me, he disappeared.

What happened next was even worse. I felt myself collapse to the floor, and the memories of my past mistakes all came back at the same time. If mental pain could be translated physically, I would have passed out from pure agony. I curled up into a ball as I tried to focus on something other than my guilt, but nothing worked. I tried to shout, but when I moved my lips, no sound came. All the things I dreaded the most, all the things I feared would happen to others manifested in such vivid detail that I couldn't help but believe they were real. Each time one would disappear, I would think, At last, it's over, but it only resulted in more torture. How many ways could I watch people die? The people I had murdered?

It wasn't just what had happened either, there was also what could have happened. I watched my body getting torn apart by the wolves in the Everfree Forest if I had lost, followed by the manticore beating me into a bloody pulp. I couldn't resist any of this, I could only lie there and witness each memory flash for less than a second, before moving on to the next. There must have been hundreds, but the final one lasted longer. It was also the most painful.

I saw my family in the garden, like I had all those months ago in the dreams. They were burning again, and as their skin turned to ash their bones continued to stare at me. Their black sockets, though empty, were filled with hate. I was forced to stare at them for a few seconds, before the dream threw me out and I woke up.

I got out of the bed in an instant. Someone had left my clothes on a chair nearby, and I pulled them on and pushed the door open, storming down the hallway, my head filled with conflict. I found a balcony, and walked out onto it, letting the cool morning breeze hit my face.

I leant against the stone rail and let my thoughts flow. How could I have forgotten about them? My own family, for Christ's sake! I'm so selfish, so narrow-minded. I have to see them, no matter what. Maybe Princess Celestia has a spell.

I heard hooves approaching from behind, and turned around to see Celestia standing there. Her normally expressionless face now wore a look of concern.

"Are you alright Dutch? One of the nurses heard a scream from your room, and saw you leave with haste."

I slumped against the stone wall, "I can't believe I forgot about them. I don't even know if they're still alive, but I don't care, I need to see them."

"Who?"

My voice went quiet, "My family."

Celestia thought for a moment, "We do have spells that can allow such a thing, but they are difficult."

I didn't care about the second part, and my heart leapt, and I straightened up, "You mean I can see them?"

"Yes, but only briefly."

"I don't care," I ran at her and gave her a tight hug, feeling a tear roll down my cheek, "Thank you."

Celestia and I were now sitting in her quarters. We were waiting for Twilight, who Celestia had said would enjoy visiting my world. The door promptly opened, and Twilight entered. Judging by her walk and how her head was lowered, she hadn't got a decent night's rest.

"Ah, good morning Twilight," said Celestia, apparently not noticing the sleep deprivation, "I would like you to take part in a session of magic with me."

At the mention of performing magic with her ruler and mentor, Twilight's head shot up as if she'd had a gallon of strong coffee, "Princess... I would be honoured!"

"I'm glad you are," Celestia answered, giving a warm smile, "We are going to be visiting Dutch's homeworld so that he can see his family. We would like you to accompany us."

Twilight's ecstatic expression dropped again, and she became nervous, "His h-home, Princess?"

"Yes," Celestia saw Twilight's face, "You do not have to come with us if you do not wish to."

"Oh no, no. I-I'll come with you." She walked over to us, and took care to sit next to Celestia rather than me.

Celestia nodded to her, then turned to me, "Are you ready Dutch?"

"As ready as I'll ever be," I replied.

Celestia closed her eyes, and her horn glowed to an almost blinding level. I felt light-headed, and I fell softly to the floor as my vision turned to white. It felt like I was floating momentarily, before the brightness faded, and I found myself standing on the driveway of my house, next to the garage. Except it wasn't a dream this time.

I looked around, and saw two strange-looking humans standing next to me. One was a tall woman in her thirties with long hair that was pink, green and blue, wearing a long, white and gold dress. Her face was young, but at the same time, she looked strong and wise, "Princess?" I asked.

She looked down at her body, "It would seem so."

The second human was a girl who looked slightly younger than me. She was wearing navy blue jeans and a purple jacket. Her hair was still purple with a pink highlight, and her expression was one of both awe and surprise as she looked at her arms and torso. As a human, Twilight actually looked quite pretty.

"Why are you both human?" I said.

"I do not know," Celestia replied, "My guess is that while we are in this world, we apply by its rules. I'm guessing there are no unicorns or alicorns here."

"No."

"Then the magic had to make a substitute," she opened her mouth to speak again, but she paused, and glanced to the side, "We should find your family, the spell does not last long."

We started to walk towards the house. Celestia walked surprisingly well, as if she had been a human all her life. I noticed Twilight lagging behind, trying to put one leg in front of the other, and went over to help her. She took a quick step back, "Don't worry Dutch, I'll be fine."

She started to walk a little better, and we entered the house. Everything was exactly where I remembered it when I left. The only thing missing was the picture I had taken off the fridge. I walked into the hallway, with Celestia and Twilight behind me, and heard voices coming from the sitting room. I walked through, and saw my dad and my brother watching the news.

I had never felt so happy to see them, but then I noticed their faces. The sadness in their eyes as they watched the TV broke my heart. They hadn't noticed us, despite standing in the doorway, and Celestia seemed to hear my thoughts.

"They can't see us now, but if you want, I could make you visible to them, so you can say a few words."

I sat down on the sofa next to my dad while they remained in the doorway, and looked at him. He continued to stare ahead, and I knew I had to do this now. I looked at Celestia and said, "Do it."

She closed her eyes, and I felt my body tingle. After a brief moment, Dad felt a presence next to him, and turned as a look of shock covered him.

"Douglas? I-Is that..."

"...hi Dad." I said nervously.

Chris looked over too, and wore the same expression as Dad. They stared at me a moment longer, before Dad spoke up again, "But... it can't be. You... you died!"

Now I was the one to be surprised, "What do you mean?"

He wrapped his arms around me, and pulled me into a bone-breaking hug, "The police found you in a forest near Portsmouth five months ago. They said the cause of death was hypothermia."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I died? So... how did I wind up in Equestria? The most logical explanation is that it is my afterlife, and even that's farfetched.

Dad released me from his arms, and looked me over, "What happened to you? That scar on your face," he paused, "And your finger!"

"Long story, but that can wait until later, I don't have much time," I looked into his eyes as I said, "Listen Dad. It is great seeing you again, but... I hope you understand that I can't stay here."

"Yes, but..." Dad said, shuddering a bit. He thought for a moment, then looked back into my eyes, taking a deep breath. His voice was quiet and calm, "Douglas, I have to ask you something very important now."

I felt a tear collect in my eye, "I know what you're going to say. You don't have to say it."

"No, I do. I... I want to say it. Douglas, tell me what you want me to do. Do you want me to just grieve? Drink my sorrows away, see how long I last?"

I looked at him in confusion, but my voice was soft, "Why would you think something like that?"

Dad looked at the floor. He had always been a little religious, and he had always hoped to go to heaven at peace, "On the day of my reckoning, when I stand before God, he is going to ask me questions. When he asks me why I... I forgot one of my own children, what am I going to say? Because I wanted to?" He turned to me, "Because I was told to?"

I thought about how I would reply to this. I wasn't religious, but after a moment, and out of common decency, I said, "You tell the Lord, our Father, that you did a kindness, for all of us," I pulled him into an embrace, and I could feel my shoulder become damp from his tears, "I know you're hurting inside, I can feel it on you, but you ought to stop now," I let go, and looked back into his eyes, "I want you to move on and have a happy life. I do."

I sighed, and looked forward. I couldn't hear the TV as I spoke, "When I left home that night, I was tired. I was tired of feeling guilty for not being able to do more. I was tired not being able to help as much as you or Mum did. But, most of all, I was tired of people being so ugly to each other. I became sad from all the hate I could feel in this world, every day. There was too much of it. It felt like... like splinters in my head.

"I'm sorry that I left. I wish I could come back, but I don't think that's possible now. Where I am now, they accept me for what I do, and don't cast me aside because of who I am or what I look like. I've found happiness and friendship here, and I don't want you to live the rest of your life in misery. I want you to be happy too, for Mum. Can you understand?"

Dad's tears stopped, and he looked back into my eyes, "Yes, Douglas. I think I can."

I hugged him again, "Thank you."

I looked at Celestia, and got the feeling that my time was running out, "I'm going to have to go soon, but I want to see you again."

Chris had been silent throughout the entire conversation, but as I stood up, he said, "Wait!" and walked out of the room, not noticing Celestia or Twilight as they moved for him. He disappeared upstairs for a moment, but came down shortly carrying a thin, black bag about five feet long. I instantly knew what it was.

"What are you doing with that?" I asked.

"Hoping you can take it with you," Chris said, "To remember us by, and let's face it, you were the only one who was really into snowboarding."

I looked back at the bag. He was right, this snowboard had been for the whole family, but I used it more than anyone when we went on holiday. I wasn't half bad with it either. I could pull off a few tricks when I got enough air. I also knew that everything to maintain the board would be in there too, we wouldn't have kept it anywhere else. I turned to Celestia again, and she gave me a soft nod.

My brother and father looked confused as to what I was looking at, but I said, "Yes, I can take it," and a smile appeared on their faces. I took the bag, forgetting how heavy it was, and felt myself fading as I gave them one last look.

"This isn't goodbye. I'll see you again. I promise."