A time of sadness

Chapters

Leaving
Aftermath
Dreams
The service
Nightmares
The hole you left behind
Just open the door
Night terrors
revelation
You!
Why are you doing this to me?
Why did you have to go?
Sweat dreams
In the wake of the wake

Leaving

“It was you, from the moment you came here. I chose you! You big dummy!”
“I love you, you damned fast Pegasus!”
“... I love you too...Tom”

Such amazing words, spoken on that night with the one I love with all my heart. Months and months of sheepish hesitance, the whole mix up with Soarin’. It had all happened too fast, and yet it had ended with the kind of climax you’d expect in a particularly sappy Daring Doo book. That night on picnic hill was the happiest I had ever been, and I brought the memory to my mind now eleven months later. I needed its joy, its sheer power over me. I needed it more than ever as my loved one lay dying before me.

Tom lay in the bed before me, his body frail and weak after the accident. He was hardly moving, and when he did the pain showed on his face. His breath grew deeper and deeper each time, trying to take as much life from it as possible. Trying to stay here a little longer. A doctor came into the room, and beckoned me over. He didn’t look good. I turned back to Tom and leant over his head, Kissed his nose gently. “I’ll be right back ok?” He closed his eyes briefly and nodded slightly, so I moved away and approached the doctor close to the door.

“I’m sorry Rainbow... but, you see his lungs are both punctured and he’s losing far too much blood before we can fix the wounds.” He looked down to the ground almost ashamed at his lack of ability to help. I stood there, stunned at what I was hearing.
“Y-y.....you mean... he’s.....” I couldn’t bring myself to say the words.
“Yes, I’m so sorry. He has possibly three hours at most. But he will most likely lose consciousness within two.” I felt my eyes brim with tears at that. The doctor gave a consoling look then turned away to attend to his other patients.

I needed my friends, HE needed his friends. Would they be here in time? I came back to the bed, and sat in the terribly uncomfortable seat next to Tom’s head. I reached over and stroked his right hand. His cutiemark stood boldly against his pale flesh, the car wheel travelling with a fire trail behind it set against a rainbow. It was the most intricate mark I had ever seen, even more so than Princess Celestia’s.

His fingers twitched, he began to stir from his rest. He opened his eyes and looked up at me. He looked at the cuts, the bruises and the clumped fur that all riddled my body. He moved his hand towards me, and simply ran his fingers through my soft undercoat between my forelegs. His fingers were so warm. He began to speak, with severe difficulty.
“What...h-happened?” he looked concerned for my well being, but I waved away his concerns.
“I’m fine, we were in an accident. You lost control of the car in the fog... and, well. You got banged up pretty bad.” I forced my voice to stay strong; I didn’t want him to know what was coming. I wouldn’t want to know, and I knew him, he was like me in so many ways and this would be one of those ways.

He could tell something was wrong, he always could tell when I was hiding something. Was I that bad with secrets? Or did he simply know me far too well? He must have seen the truth in my eyes, because he sighed and looked up at the ceiling of the clinically white hospital room. “I-I’ve never lost control of her... not since...” He looked down to his marked hand. “I couldn’t have... that’s my talent. What makes me unique here, just like the rest of you... something else was there... there...must have been.” I quaked with worry at his pained babbling. Where were the others! They must know by now! “Wait... were you in the car with me!” he began to sit up with worry as he registered the marks over my coat and skin. He screamed. Clutching his sides with both hands he immediately retreated back to the folds of his bed.

Though he wasn’t able to get close enough to examine me, he tightened his grip on my foreleg terrified that I was hurt. “I said I was fine dumby.” I nudged him slightly smiling at him trying to calm his nerves while mine sky rocketed. How long had it been since the doctor had come in? I looked to the clock, AN HOUR AND TEN MINUTES! What?! How was it possible that the time had gone so fast. Maybe it was my imagination, but Tom seemed to be getting paler. And as he held my leg, his grip began to slacken. He was getting weaker. Two hours of being awake, and one of sleep before he left me forever.

NO! Tom had gone through hell and back just to be with me, after everything I put him through instead of being honest to begin with, he had still succeeded in winning my heart. (Though he always had it in my mind, sappy I know but he is the man I love!) If he had fought through that, and car crashes, near hypothermia and working to the point of near death on the farm, then who was to say he wouldn’t fight this? But as the minutes passed Tom grew quieter. It was almost as though he knew what was going to happen to him and was preparing himself for it. At nearly 2 hours and ten minutes, he began to drift away. His gaze became less focused, and his eyes began to droop.

But before he left, he looked one last time at my face. I dropped close to him, and without a word he kissed me. It was both wonderful and terrible simultaneously; his kiss was as they had always been, if not even more loving than usual. But his lips were also cold, and the realisation that this was his n way of saying goodbye to me made my whole world crumble beneath my hooves. He slipped into what seemed like a deep sleep, but I knew was simply a last stand as his body began to give out.

I held onto his hand, listening to the ‘beep, beep, beep’ of his pulse monitor. Tears were falling down from my eyes and onto his closed lids. It was forty-five minutes until the three hours were up. ‘beep, beep, beep.’ I tucked him in slightly, trying to make him more comfortable, as though it could make some difference. Nurses and doctors kept stopping, asking if I needed anything. Well that was obvious! I NEEDED TOM! And here he was slowly slipping away and leaving me here. So then I simply wanted to be alone with him. Thirty minutes left, ‘beep, beep, beep.’ I wipe away the stupid tears that I spilt on his face. Fifteen minutes remaining, ‘beep, beep, beep’ where was the time going? Celestia damn it I needed to do something to help! But how, what could I do? I stood up to move, but simply stayed where I stood looking lost and hopeless. Another ten minutes passed and I dreaded what the next five might bring, he had lasted nearly to the very end of what the doctor told me he would live for. He would always try and do that, keep pushing the envelope to the very edge, he had always done with his driving, and with his ways in showing me he loved me.

I heard raised voices behind me, fast approaching down the hall. “Ah don’ care if visitin’ hours are over he’s our friend and we’re seeing him!” Applejack? And other hoofsteps, how many? ‘beep..beep..beep’ was that pinkie pie she could her muttering too herself as the voices reached the closed door of the room. ‘Beep...beep...beep.’ I turned to see the door begin to open, ‘beep...beep......beep’ Twilight was leading the group, as all the gang walked into the quiet room. Twilight began to speak,
“Rainbow, are you alri”- ‘booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooop’ the noise made my whole world fall into nothing. I turned back horrified, and saw his face. Frozen, pale and expressionless. The other’s stood there dumbstruck at how they had only just entered, and had seen their friend pass away right before their eyes.

“TOM!” I screamed with all my heart. I reached across his chest and lay across him, crying my eyes out as I realised I couldn’t hear his heart beating anymore. “No, no, nononononooooooo!” I sat there for a long time just crying, and screaming his name. Eventually my voice grew tired and I was unable to scream anymore. So I just sobbed on his cold chest. In the newfound silence I heard sniffs and tears from behind me. I looked at my friends, at HIS friends. All of whom were stood by the door, obviously terrified to come any closer. This wasn’t right, they needed to have at least said goodbye to him! If only they had gotten here a little sooner, during those long three hours of waiting. I rushed over to Fluttershy, who immediately flung out her forelegs and accepted me without question. I embraced her tightly, burying my face into the fur of her shoulder and wept yet again. She stroked my mane, trying to find the words to say that would make it all better, but like me she couldn’t think of any. “Shhhhhhhh. Shh. Shh, shhhh.” She whispered soothingly and I hung in her embrace sobbing helplessly.

I heard movement as I cried, the girls had moved to the side of Tom’s bed. Fluttershy half carried me over to the chair and set me down on it. In my distraught state I slid straight off and rested my head on the seat, the tears still hadn’t stopped. I looked around through the haze of blurred tears, Twilight stood by his cutiemark. She had her right hoof resting over it, then I realized. She had loved him too for a long time! I wasn’t sure how she had felt towards him over the last few months, but if anyone realised the pain I felt in this room. It was her. But how could she not be crying? She looked mortified, miserable and downright distraught, and yet not a single tear dropped from her face.

Applejack had fallen onto her flanks in shock. She sat there with her mouth hanging open as she realised what she was seeing. She didn’t speak a word, but simply looked on in horror. Rarity’s eyes were running ceaselessly, she sniffed, her lip began to tremble. With a sudden burst of wailing, she turned and fell onto the small dragon beside her. Spike? When had he come in? Was her there from the start? The purple dragon was growing fast, he had been just reaching the end of his infancy when Tom had arrived in Equestria, and now he was fast approaching his adolescent stage. He would soon be as tall as the pony who now cried on his shoulder , his longer arms wrapped around her and softly stroked her mane, just like Fluttershy had been doing to me. Where was pinkie? I pulled myself away from my yellow friend to search for her. She wasn’t in the room.

A muffled sob emits from the hallway. I don’t know if I should see to my friend or stay with the body. I was torn desperately between the living and the dead, I needed to feel someone close to me. I didn’t want anypony to be alone now that this had happened. Nopony protested to my leaving through the door that hung slightly agape. I curled my head around the frame of the door, and there pinkie sat. Her hair the straightest it had ever been. She was slumped against the wall, her hooves over her eyes as she sobbed quietly into them. I didn’t say anything, I only walked to her, sat down next to her, and threw my Forelegs around her head.
“Oh... Dashie!” Her sobs exploded into wailing as she hugged me tightly, her face buried in my chest. I burrowed my face into her soft hair, and together we both cried for what seemed, and was most likely hours.

Aftermath

I had never been to a funeral before, let alone organised one. The girls helped me a lot. Pinkie went about finding the people who Tom had known reasonably well around Ponnyville, Rarity began fashioning suitable clothes for the body for when he was buried. As I watched her sewing the suit designed for someone who walked on two legs, I was heart achingly reminded of the clothes that we had given him when he was ill. From that moment on he’d never worn anything else, but Rarity said it was “improper” having his body dressed in anything other than a suit when he was buried.

Whenever the thought of laying Tom in the ground came to my mind, it felt as though a little bit of me died inside. My heart would cry out to hear his voice one last time, or his jokes to make me laugh, but its desires would remain ignored forever. Twilight was pawing through some of her many books, deciding what would be the best thing to say about him. I had asked her to say something on the day knowing that when the time came, I wouldn’t be able to bring my lips to move.

Fluttershy was attending to something she had said was of vital importance, none of us knew what it was. She may have just not wanted to help because it hurt too much, heck, I felt the same way! My friends were just taking on all the work because they knew I would simply crumble under it. Applejack had asked for a few of her cousins to come down and help with issues such as the coffin; how it would need to me made differently to usual coffins in Equestria, and that we needed strong ponies to lower it into the ground.

A couple days before the funeral, I pulled the orange pony aside while she overlooked her cousins working on the casket. I wanted to tell her how much she had meant to Tom, how much she meant to me because of how she had always been there for the two of us, and how grateful I was to her helping so much. But when the moment came, no words would come out. I choked on my tongue as it refused to move, and for what seemed like for the millionth time in that week tears began to form in my eyes. “H-he...I... I know what he would have wanted to say, to you I mean.” I struggle speak the simple sentence, but the pony stood there patiently as always. “He’d want to thank you for... for...” I couldn’t do it; my jaw felt like it was made of concrete and refused to move.

“Don’ worry sugar cube, I think I know what he’d have wanted to say to me.” I looked at her apologetically, unsure how to continue, but yet again the orange mare spoke, “He’d have probably thanked me for the work I gave him, for being there when he needed an ear to listen to him. An’ I’m pretty sure that he’d thank me... for you.” She prodded the end of my nose to make me smile. “He’d get all sappy and start telling me how much you meant to him and that he could never repay me enough.” She smiled warmly at me and with a gentle nudge to my side she told me to leave, she didn’t want me seeing the casket and upsetting me even more.

I returned to my...OUR home. A few weeks after me and Tom finally got together, he had decided it was time he stopped living in the guest room at the library. So him, Applejack and Big Macintosh had set out and built a small house for Tom to live in. I never really knew how Twilight had felt about him leaving her care, she had seemed fine, but you could never tell. She always kept her emotions very concealed. Soon afterwards, I had moved in with Tom, leaving my small cloud home to dissipate over the following months.

Now as I moved through the rooms, it felt cold. There were pictures lined the edges of the room, each of them of me and Tom. I had always loved having my picture taken, it made me feel like I was living the glamorous life of a Wonderbolt. But in these pictures my expression was different, instead of showing an outrageously happy face; my smile was small and content. I had been experiencing a completely different kind of happiness, all because of him.

I moved into the bedroom, it was more of a mess than usual. Seeing as the two of us had neither been too bothered about mess, we never did really pick up anything unless we needed it. A few clothes were spread across the floor, his purple, blue and white button shirts were all still there were I had left them. I swiped up the blue one from the floor, lay down on the bed and took my favourite picture from my bedside table. There Tom stood, on his own. He looked bashful as the focus was completely on him, this had been taken on his birthday. Pinkie had thrown a huge surprise party for him in the living room of our newly made home. After the initial shock all Tom could do was rub the back of his neck and smile like a goof.

This picture showed him doing just that, his mark was visible on his right hand as it hung by its side. He had been truly happy that day, I had been terribly worried that he wouldn’t enjoy it, being the first birthday away from earth. But he had smiled and laughed all night out of sheer joy!

I lay the picture on the pillow next to mine, where Tom should be sleeping. And snuggling under the covers I held the shirt tightly. It smelt like him. This was the only way I would remember him now, and soon enough his scent would fade from the clothes and I would only be left with the minimum proof he was ever here. My love was dead, my soul felt heavy, I hadn’t flown in days, and I didn’t want to. THAT’S how messed up I was! I slowly drifted off into sleep, with his scent filling my nostrils, and his face smiling at me. And as I reached that twilight state of reality and dream, I could have sworn he was here with me, lying by my side.

Dreams

What a wonderful day. The sun shone, and no clouds hung in the sky. The perfect day! I span through the air, gliding over the pockets of air currents which sent me soaring even higher into the sky. The wind in my mane, there was only one other thing better than it, and he lay far below me. I dived down, towards the yellow car parked on a cliff edge. Lying on top of its bonnet there was a human, quietly dozing off in the warm sun. I spread my wings wide as I approached, using them as breaks to decrease my speed quickly. I came to halt in the air just above him. I flapped slower and slower, letting myself drop quietly. I landed with my legs on either side of him, and I softly lowered myself on top of his heaving chest and lay against his warm body.

His hand travelled up to my head, and stroked my multicoloured mane smoothly. Now this was the only thing better than flying! I rubbed my head against his chest to show him I liked his hands in my hair. His grip in my hair tightened so his fingers began to comb through it and not just float over it, the sudden change felt amazing. My entire body seemed to quiver for a moment, and then it relaxed completely. My weight fully dropped onto him, but it didn’t even faze him. He simply continued stroking my hair, I could hear his heartbeat beneath his thin shirt. It was the most soothing sound I’ve ever heard in my life. And with that sound soothing me, I dozed off as well.

I wake, its dark, it’s a lot colder. I look around and see that night has fallen fast. I look up to see Tom looking down at me asleep on his chest. “Hello sleeping beauty.” I blushed, hoping it wouldn’t be seen in this dark. “Come on, let’s get going. We’ve got a couple of hours before we get back to ponyville.” We both stood and entered the car. Escaping from the cold. Once in the seats, I leant over and kissed him on the cheek.

“Let’s get home quick ok? We’ve done enough sleeping for now I think.” At first I had never said things like that to him, worried I would scare him off. But after three months of being together, I realised that those comments were what I really meant and saying them was just me being myself.

His hand travelled over to my chin, he lifted it up to look at him and kissed me. We sat there for a few minutes, just letting our lips do the communicating. His told me that he loved me, and mine told him the very same, and both said that they eagerly wanted to get home... to bed. He reversed the car in an arc, taking us away from the cliff edge and towards the winding road down the side of the hill.

“Do you know why that spot is so special to me?” Tom asked, while keeping his eyes on the dark narrow road. I looked at his face, was he being serious or setting himself up for a joke as he so often did. I gave him the benefit of the doubt.
“No, why is it?” I asked almost childlike as I looked up into his face. He turned his head towards me for a moment,
“It’s the place I realised I wanted to be with you no matter what.” I giggled, I hardly ever do, too girly for me. But yet whenever I did, it was Tom who was causing me to do it.

We were reaching the bottom of the mountain path and beginning our journey across the dirt track road all the way back to Ponyville. A large rock stands just at the base of the slope we’re travelling down. Something springs out from behind it. Black. Dark. Large. A screech of tires. The car tips on its side. Tom screams my name in fear. “RAINB”- I woke up, springing up to a sitting position. I was panting as if id flown for days.

The picture still lay beside me looking up with glee. Toms shirt clung to me drenched in my own sweat. I got out of bed and travelled to the bathroom, I flicked on the light and the bright bulb showed me no mercy as it blinded and burned my eyes. I went over to the sink and looked at my face in the mirror. I looked terrified, my eyes were gaunt with bags hanging beneath them. I ran the water cold for a moment, and splashed some into my face to cool me down after so much distress. Afterwards I leant against the basin and looked into the mirror, not really seeing my reflection but just thinking.

That was the first time id dreamt about the accident. I had played it through countless times in my head during my daylight wanderings, but this was the first time I had DREAMT about it. Something had changed in the memory however, I had always remembered it as Tom skidding on the ground and just losing control, but in the dream something had sprung into the way. Just like Tom had said. What was it? Just a black shape, I racked my brains to recall the night everything had changed. But like any other dream, the details began to slip away, even if they were based in fact.

“R-Rainbow... uhhhmmm are you awake?” although the voice was quiet, the sudden break of silence still made me jump. I peered around the open door of the bathroom, the bedroom door also stood agape. And standing in the centre of the doorway was Fluttershy, looking concerned and worried. “I’m so sorry for intruding... but the girls said we should have someone looking after you tonight seeing as... tomorrow is... I’m sorry... when I came in you were already asleep... and...I’m sorry...” The yellow pony turned away and headed back to the living room. She didn’t leave, she approached the sofa which she had obviously used as a bed, positioned perfectly to look into my room if needed.

I followed my friend into the large room. Tomorrow? Oh dear Celestia, out of the shock of the dream I had forgotten. Tomorrow was the funeral. I watched as Fluttershy slowly and delicately folded her legs beneath her and lay back down on the sofa’s many cushions. She looked up at me with the same look of worry on her face. I could tell she was worried if I was upset that she had come in without asking. I came over and sat against the sofa, just beneath Fluttershy’s head. She laid her chin on top of my mane, and the sound of her breath calmed my mind.

“I... dreamt about him, about that night...” I choked, tears no longer came when I thought of him. I had no more tears to give, no matter how much my soul wanted them to be released my body just couldn’t produce them.

Fluttershy sighed sadly, “I understand... I can’t begin to understand how much you must be hurting right now.” She stroked my mane again, her gentleness and kindness reminded me of the way Tom would comfort me when I was sad. She was my oldest friend, and she was just who I needed at this point of my life. She looked at the coffee table just beside us, there sat a picture of Tom and me.

We were at the gala, his white button shirt undone to the second top button, and his coat billowing out behind him. I stood next to him, holding him close to me as we both laugh at some joke I can’t remember. “You, know... he really was handsome. No matter the difference in species. He really was the perfect match for you Rainbow.” Was she trying to get me to open up? To let me give in to the grief that had been slowly gnawing at the corners of my mind for the past week?

“I-I-I......” I couldn’t say it. Fluttershy stroked my head again and cooed softly, calming my mind as I began to shake.
“Go on, it will help. It might not seem like it now, but it will help. You can do it. Say it Rainbow.” I gulped, trying to keep a hold of myself.
“I... I MISS HIM FLUTTERSHY!” the floodgates opened, and finally my tears returned. I buried my head into my forehooves on the floor. Suddenly out of reach, Fluttershy slid off of the sofa and held me as I bawled my eyes out.
“I know... I know...” her voice was beginning to crack, maybe out of her own grief, or maybe out of sorrow for me, I didn’t know. I kept weeping, trying to speak. Suddenly my voice had a mind of its own, and I was unable to stop it.
“I miss his voice, his face, the way he’d pick me up and hold me without warning just because he could! I miss his laugh, his warmth and his... and his... I JUST WANT HIM BACK WITH ME! WHY?! WHY DID HE HAVE TO GO?!”

Fluttershy was now crying on my back. The two of us stayed there and wept for a long time, showing how Tom had truly belonged here, because his absence from this world was tearing so many ponies’ hearts apart. The funeral was fast approaching, and as we sat there in the dimly lit living room and cried, we slowly fell asleep on the floor.

When I woke up in the morning, I was in my bed. The sheets, warm around me, the picture of Tom looking back at me from the pillow to my side. “Fluttershy?” Had she even been here? Or had I dreamt it all? I crossed the room and came into the living room, no one was there. The sofa looked pristine, was I losing my mind? I took a step forward and felt my hoof clink against something. I looked down to see a tray carrying food and drink. A wheatgrass sandwich, a large glass of milk, and a piece of paper. I picked up the scrap of paper and saw Fluttershy’s writing.

“Rainbow, I needed to go out early to sort out the last few details for later today. I took you back to bed before I left and left you this food, you NEED to eat okay?! Please, I don’t want you in trouble after everything that’s happened. I’ll see you at the church at eleven o’clock.
I’m so sorry.
Fluttershy”

The service

It was cold inside the church, the windows rose high above my head reminding me of the stain glass windows of Canterlotte. How different this place was though, in Canterlotte there had been an atmosphere of joy and happiness, and in here all I could sense was misery. I was sat on the end of the closest pew to the coffin. It lay just 5 feet away; the top half lay open to show Tom lying peacefully inside.

Rarity was right, he wouldn’t have looked right if he’d been wearing anything other than the suit she had made him. The church was nearly full by the time the ceremony began, I only just recognised everypony here and I was sure Tom hadn’t known everyone who had shown up but I couldn’t ask anyone if they had known him. I couldn’t ask anything, I couldn’t even SAY anything. I felt as if I had an apple wedged down my throat, stopping me from saying a word.

The minister stood there, and said his words. “Kind, generous, loving, loved.” Though the words described Tom perfectly, I knew they were just the words the man spoke at every service. I felt almost sick at the thought that no words would be said that really described the man I loved with all my heart.
The minister finished and stepped down from the podium. I heard movement on the other end of the bench I was sat on. Twilight had stood. Oh my gosh! I’d forgotten she was going to make a speech! Though I had only wished for it only a second ago, I now didn’t want to hear honest words about Tom, they would break my heart all over again as I listened to the other pony who had loved him speak because I didn’t have the guts!

The purple unicorn walked up to the podium, her hoof steps echoed around the huge hall as she did. Once she reached it she stood tall and cleared her throat, and began to speak.
“As you all know, I was the pony who found Tom when he came here and I think a lot of ponies –even if they didn’t say it- were opposed to the idea of me bringing him back to ponyville. But I stand by that decision, because if I hadn’t brought Tom here, we would have all missed the chance of having a truly great friend coming into our lives. Tom would always be willing to help those in need.” She looked at Applejack, who smiled warmly at her recollection of her and Tom working together. “He would always try to make our lives easier wherever he could,” She turned her eyes to Pinkie who giggled slightly at her memories of rushing around sugar Cube Corner madly before Tom had sent me and Twilight to help. Twilight’s breath caught in her throat for a moment, I was sure she was about to finally cry. But she calmed herself and continued unhindered.

“Tom was the one of the kindest, considerate, and loving people I have ever known.” She finally turned her gaze towards me, “And I know I speak for everypony here when I say, Rainbow, if you ever need anything we are all here for you. You just need to ask. Thank you.” She stepped down from the podium and returned to her seat. I felt a hoof on my leg, I looked up to see Rarity sitting next to me. She smiled at me warmly, showing that Twilight was right and that she was here for me. I still couldn’t speak, I gave a measly nod and looked back to the ground.

Soon the service was over, we filed outside slowly and were led to a terrible hole in the ground in the centre of the graveyard. I was asked to stand by the hole, I did so without protest. I had no fight in me, it felt as though I was simply working on autopilot, I could see everything happening but couldn’t control what I did. As I watched, the coffin was brought out. The lid was now closed, I wished I had taken a longer look at his resting face before it had been shut forever. Four stallions were carrying it down towards its new resting place. Big Macintosh was one of them, and the other three were the cousins that Applejack had asked to help.

As the procession approached me and the gaping hole to my side, I felt a warm foreleg wrap around my shoulder. I turned to see Applejack herself, with tears in her eyes. My legs felt weak suddenly, and I threw my forelegs around her, for support and to feel someone close to me.

I kept on looking as the coffin reached the gap in the ground, and the stallions began to lower it into the ground.
“Uhhh... please wait a moment.” I looked around to find the person who had stopped the ceremony, the voice was unmistakable. Why had Fluttershy asked to stop this? The crowd seemed to part, and Fluttershy was revealed. She had a single lily in her hair placed just above her ear, and she was being followed by a group of humming birds. The birds behind her were carrying a wreath of flowers I had never seen before.

This must have been what she had been doing leading up to today. Where had she gotten them? They didn’t grow around ponyville. Had she gone through the Everfree forest to find them? She turned to the birds, “Thank you.” She bowed her head, and the small green and blue winged creatures lowered the horseshoe shaped wreath over her head and then flew away. Fluttershy then moved over to the coffin, tilting her head down to let the flowers slowly slide up her neck. They eventually slid over her small ears and landed lightly on top of the casket bellow her. She didn’t speak, she just walked backwards never looking away from the black box.

She came to a halt next to me and Applejack, she reached up and laid a hoof on my shoulder to comfort me. I watched, as the flower covered coffin was lowered into the ground and out of sight. I knew what was coming next, I tore my eyes away pushing my face deep into Applejack’s shoulder. But that didn’t stop the noise. I listened to the sound of the dirt being scooped up, and thrown onto the top of the wooden casket. ‘Scrape...flump...scrape...flump’

I began to sob, realising that I had now seen Tom for the last time. As he was buried in the ground, leaving me forever. I heard Applejack begin to cry, I could feel her wet tears seeping into my mane. The hoof on my shoulder began to shake as Fluttershy began to weep as well. None of us wailed...none of us screamed...we simply wept silently and miserably...we just wept.

Nightmares

I went over to the chest of drawers and placed the bottle on top of it. I then turned back to my friend, she was crying in earnest now. I took hold of her and guided her to the bed so she could sit down. We never made it. She collapsed halfway there, and instead I sat beside her on the mahogany floor.

She looked up at me, her eyes filled with pearls of saltwater. “Y-you don’t hate me? For... not telling you?” My heart panged at the idea of Twilight thinking that.
“Of course not!” I smiled sadly down at her, I could feel myself welling up, combined with how sad my friend was and how terrible I still felt after everything, I had begun to give into the misery always close by. “I could never hate you Twilight, you’re my friend! No matter what’s happened.” The unicorn tried to wipe her eyes, but as soon as she did new tears replaced them.
“I just... I just miss him Rainbow!” I felt a shiver run up my spine from how familiar this convocation felt.

“M-me to, me to Twilight.” I leant down and hugged her, but the unicorn pushed my hooves away. She stood suddenly, furious. With me or herself I couldn’t tell. With tears running down her cheeks and dripping off of her chin, she screamed.
“HOW CAN YOU BE SO FORGIVING? How...how can you simply ignore the fact I kept this from you for so long? I wouldn’t! I’d be angry! Rainbow, get angry! Shout at me! Yell at me! Anything!” She was distraught, words seemed to spill from my mouth without my approval. I don’t know what made me think of it, it was far too sappy to come from my mind.

“Why would I get angry at you? Because you felt the same way about the man I loved? If anything that makes me feel closer to you, knowing we felt the same feelings for a person who we really shouldn’t. That just proves that we’re a lot alike.” Twilight frowned at my sudden poetic statement. But she soon grew angry again,
“But, if you forgive me... than... than that makes me a terrible friend...” I didn’t say anything to this; I couldn’t because I didn’t understand her logic. “Because... for a long time I didn’t forgive you! For the whole time Tom lived here and hurt so much over you, I...I couldn’t bare to think that you liked him too! When you told me I felt so angry! I’m... I’m such a horrible pony!” She bolted from the room.

I tried to follow her. She rocketed up the stairs and to her room with me in close pursuit, “Twilight wait!” but as we reached the second floor she threw herself through the open door and slammed it behind her. I crashed into the door hard, unable to stop in time. My shoulder screamed with pain but I ignored it. I banged on the wood and shouted. “Twilight? Twilight come on open up! I don’t hate you! I understand why you were angry with me! I took him from you, and I’m sorry for that. But I loved him with all my heart.” There was no response from inside her room. “I know he wouldn’t have wanted us to fight over this!” Still nothing.

I couldn’t believe this, first I’d lost Tom and now my friend was being completely unreasonable when I’d told her I didn’t hate her! My temper rose for the first time in weeks. “FINE! BE THAT WAY! HE CARED ABOUT YOU AS WELL YOU KNOW! BUT OBVIOUSLY THAT ISN’T GOOD ENOUGH! I’M LEAVING!” I turned back down the steps, and headed for the old bedroom. I picked up the bottle that Applejack had given to me under an hour ago, jeez only that long? And I left for home.

When I got home, I placed the bottle on top of the fireplace-the most honourable place I could think of seeing as Tom and I would sit by it nearly every night- and then I locked the front door and went to bed, furious with how Twilight had acted towards me. I threw myself onto the bed, and tossed around to try and get comfortable. My hoof caught on something. I looked down and saw a black coat. But... Tom had worn that on the night he...

The room seemed to explode into darkness. Although there was nothing around, I seemed to be illuminated by some source of light. Noises screamed into existence all around me, car brakes, wheels screeching, the sound of crushing metal, “RAINBOWWWW!” TOM! The noises died down leaving me in silent darkness once again. I looked around, trying to find Tom but of course he wasn’t there. A muffled voice began to speak, at first I couldn’t hear it properly but as I listened the dark around me seemed to dissolve into the interior of Tom’s car. He sat beside me at the wheel smiling at me, his voice seemed to cut into focus midsentence.

“-the place I realised I wanted to be with you no matter what.” I realised where I was, what was about to happen. I looked out of the windshield, there was the large rock. I watched in fear as I knew what happened next. The dark shape erupted from behind the rock, I had been wrong. It wasn’t a black shape, it was dark blue and seemed to glisten slightly in the moon light. The car crashed again, but it didn’t seem to happen to me, it felt as though I were watching it from a great height watching a different me fall to the side of the road inside the car. I watched the shape as it shot of towards the sky. Towards the moon.

“NIGHTMARE MOON!” I screamed as I bolted back into a sitting position. For the second night in a row I had woken up in a cold sweat, I panted, trying to make sense of what I saw in my dream. Why was this only coming out now? Had I seen the shape before we crashed but simply buried it deep in my subconscious because of the worry for Tom’s health? If that was true, that would explain why it was rearing its head now. I wasn’t coming to terms with Tom being gone, but as time moved on maybe the event was simply trying to surface itself instead of tearing my mind to pieces inside. Tom’s coat was gone, had it ever been there at all? Or had it all been a part of the dream? Was I losing my mind?

I moved to the window and looked out into the night sky, the sky was dark blue and dotted with sparkling stars. Just like that shape in my memories. The moon hung solitarily in the sky, the mare in the moon had long since vanished, but as I looked up into the silver orb I could imagine it still being there. Nightmare moon was gone. Princess Luna was proof of that. Princess Luna...

I hope you're enjoying this story so far, What do you think will happen next!?!

The hole you left behind

The days passed, the hole left behind by Tom’s dying was obvious in the faces of nearly everypony in town. Applejack and her family had set up their stall in the centre of town, and their best selling product was “Tom’s blend.” Either out of respect or out of actual enjoyment I couldn’t be sure, but it seemed that everywhere I went, everyone was drinking the golden liquid.

No one had seen Twilight for quite a while now. She hadn’t seemed to have come out of the library since the night of the funeral. I couldn’t help but feel slightly at fault, I had lost my temper and set out to upset her with my angry words. Now she didn’t seem to want anything to do with anyone. If that wasn’t bad enough I knew that the only person who would help me find out the meaning of my dreams would be the purple unicorn.

The dreams wouldn’t stop, each and every night it was that same dark blue cloud filled with stars. The longer I went, the more I believed it to be memory and not fantasy. If it had been, nightmare moon’s magic then that meant it hadn’t been an accident. Tom had been killed. I sat in my living room, staring at the picture of the two of us at the gala. Why? Why would that dark Alicorn want to kill Tom? Unless... it had been me she wanted to kill. In that case it was my fault Tom was dead. All these thoughts raced through my mind faster than a sonic rain boom.

There was a soft knock at the door, I looked up. From where I was sitting I could look out of the window and onto the front doorstep, or at least the top half of the door was in view. There didn’t seem to be anyone there, had I imagined it? This house made all kinds of noises these days, maybe it had been a pipe expanding or something. ‘knock-knock’ that was definitely the door...
“Uhhhh Rainbow Dash, you in there? I uhhhh I need to talk to you... about Twilight.” It was spike! I jumped from the sofa and wrenched open the door a little too enthusiastically, the dragon was surprised and stumbled back slightly.

“Uhmmm hey Rainbow... Do you think we could talk?” The dragon looked deflated, his green spikes seemed to droop and his purple scales had seemed to have lost their sheen.
“Sure Spike, come in.” I moved to the side and let Spike in. He really was getting bigger, I couldn’t understand how I hadn’t spotted him outside the door.

The dragon came into the large living room, he looked around the room. The poor little guy looked slightly lost. “Uhh Spike? You ok?” The dragon seemed to snap out of his train of thought.
“Uhh yeah, sorry.” He walked over to the sofa and sat down, he held his hands in front of him and twiddled his thumbs thoughtfully, and a frown was beginning to crease across his forehead. “I-It’s Twilight... she... she seems to be struggling with... something. Maybe I shouldn’t have come!” He jumped back off the sofa and started towards the door, but he stopped again. I’d never seen the little dragon so frazzled.

“Come on Spike, what’s up? You can tell me.” I was sure I knew what Twilight had been “Struggling” with, but I wanted to hear it from her assistant before I took any action. The dragon looked up at me smiling slightly out of embarrassment.
“Well, the night of Toms... you know, she was pretty upset. I was in bed, but I kinda woke up when you and Twilight started shouting.” He rubbed the spines of the back of his neck. “I kinda guessed what it was about and everything, and to be honest I even think I’m on your side but...” It was obviously hard to say it. “She barely comes out of her room, and when she does it’s only for some food. Then she just takes it back upstairs with her. I thought about sending a letter to the Princess but I thought I’d ask for your help first.”

I felt slightly confused, “My help? Why my help?” at that question Spike blushed slightly.
“Well, not only are you the only other pony going through what she is but... you’re also the only pony I know who’s too stubborn to give up trying to help her...” I couldn’t help but smile at that. My friend –both the one in this house, and the one in the library- needed me. How could I refuse.
“Ok, Spike. Just let me clean up a little, then we can go. I just need to think about what I’m going to do. Don’t really want to go putting my hoof in my mouth again.” The dragon chuckled and sat down patiently.

I swiped up the cushions strewn across the floor and flung them back onto their sofa’s, it was more ‘rearranging’ than tidying. As I took an empty plate out and into the kitchen, I heard the Spike let out a thoughtful “Huh...” I twisted my head around the corner to look at him. He was stood on the sofa’s armrest looking at a picture, it was of me and the girls at the gala. In fact it was the same gala that the picture of me and Tom had been taken.
“’Sup spike?” the dragon turned to me with a bemused smile.
“I didn’t know Tom had met Princess Luna at the gala.” WHAT!

The plate fell to the floor with a smash as I dropped it and ran to the framed picture. Spike was so startled he fell off the arm and hit the floor with an almost comical flump. I stared into the small image, my face half reflected in the glass. There we all where, Twilight in the centre, with me and Applejack on either side of her, Rarity and Fluttershy stood to the side of AJ and Pinkie stood to my side. But in the corner. Just over pinkies shoulder. There they were. Tom was talking animatedly to a Pony with wings and a horn, her coat was a very dark shade of blue. And her mane seemed to flow behind her.

I was stunned, I hadn’t even known Tom was in this picture, in fact I had been sure he wasn’t. What is it in the man’s face? He’s talking flamboyantly as always, but what is that look on his face? Concern? Despair?...Fear?
“Uhhh Rainbow? Are you ok? Whats the matt”- I bolted from the room, ducking my head under the dragon’s legs and hoisting him onto my back. I ran to the library, my wings itched to fly and so I unfurled them but even with all my thought behind the action, I couldn’t bring myself to flap them. Pathetic, a Pegasus who couldn’t even bring herself to flap her wings! I furled them back in tight to my sides and continued to the library.

Just open the door

I didn’t bother knocking, as I ran I simply jumped into the air. I pulled back my forelegs as I approached the large wooden door, I felt Spike squirm on my back. As I came within touching distance, I kicked out my forelegs and blasted the door wide open. With only a second’s pause to dump Spike onto a nearby sofa, I rushed up to the closed door of Twilights room. I flung myself onto the door, my chest slammed against it as I pounded the wood above my head with my hooves.

“TWILIGHT! LET ME IN!” If any response came, I didn’t hear it over the pounding of my hooves on the flimsy wooden wedge in front of me. The door remained locked. “TWILIGHT! CELESTIA DAMN IT OPEN THIS DOOR! THIS IS IMPORTANT! DO YOU HEAR ME? IM ANGRY, I’M YELLING! THAT’S WHAT YOU WANTED RIGHT?” Still nothing. I stopped pounding against the wood. I collapsed onto the floor, beside the entrance to the unicorn’s room.

My heart felt as though it was breaking all over again, someone had set out to HURT Tom, and I knew who it was! And the only damned pony that could help me wouldn’t open the stupid door! I let out a few bitter sobs, no tears came from my eyes, maybe I just needed to release my anger and that was what my body had decided was the most fitting thing to do. “You said... you said if I ever needed anything from you, all I had to do was ask...” Silence, then a muffled movement. I looked up just in time to see the catch on the door slip, and the wide panel swing open.

There stood Twilight, she looked as distraught as I felt. I wasn’t sure how the unicorn felt about my being here, she seemed terrified at the sight of me and yet she had opened the door. “You came back?” she asked shakily. “I didn’t think you’d want to after how I acted.” She looked at her hooves in pure misery, “I said a lot of things that I didn’t mean, I guess I was...still am jealous of what you and Tom had.” She looked up at me with pearls in her big purple eyes. “Forgive me?” I stood up and smiled shakily with relief my friend wasn’t still mad at me and just wanted to reconcile.
“Nothing to forgive Twi.” And through those tears, Twilight Sparkle gave me a wide smile of gratitude and joy.

The two of us sat in Twilights room talking for a long time, mostly about how we wanted things to be the way they were between us. The unicorn explained to me how it hadn’t been so much about hating me, but hating herself at how jealous she was. I sat and took it all in, letting her pour out her innermost feelings towards me, and when it was all over Twilight looked a lot better.
“Uhhmmm, is everything ok in here?” Spike peered around the corner nervously. At the sight of her number one assistant, Twilight ran over to the dragon and pulled him into a huge hug. Over her shoulder Spike winked at me and mouthed the words “Thank you.” To me, before returning the hug.

It was time I told Twilight, maybe not about the picture, and maybe not about ‘Nightmare moon’ but definitely about the dreams and the magic causing the crash. Hopefully that would be enough to find out what was going on, I didn’t want to ruin Twilights faith in the Princesses unless there was no other option.

“Twilight?” I began tentatively, as Twilight looked happily through one of her books. We had moved down to the main room of her library now, and once we had made up Twilight had begun to act reasonably normal again. (So of course, she broke out the books)
“Hmm?” she invited me to continue without looking up from her page. I licked my lips, choosing my words carefully.
“What...do you know...about dreams?” The unicorn looked at me, her head tilted to the side in obvious bewilderment.
“Uhmm, they’re the form of our thoughts surfacing from our subconscious while we sleep. We perceive them as images as our eyes are closed and we basically leave a blank canvas for our thoughts to paint whatever they want.” Her eye’s grew wide as she realised she had rambled, she blushed slightly and smiled. “Well, yeah I kinda like to think I know a few things about them, why do you ask?”

“You see, for the past week and a bit now, I’ve been dreaming. About Tom, and”-
“Well that’s to be expected, after all you were so close, and losing him was a bigger blow than to you than to any of the others.” She smiled, reassured that she had understood my problem and solved it but before she could look back at her book she caught my eye, and sensed something was wrong. “There’s something else?” I nodded grimly, Twilight sensed this was serious. So she shut the book and turned fully to face me head on.

“Every night it’s the same dream, it’s the night of the accident. We come down the mountain road we were driving down that night.” My mind flashed with Toms smile. “Then there’s this rock at the bottom of the road.” The huge boulder swept across my mind’s eye momentarily. “And when we reach it, something comes out from behind it and tips the car over completely. And... well that’s when I usually wake up, but sometimes I don’t and that’s when I see what it is. It’s a pony’s magic.”

Twilight stared at me for a moment, she looked completely dumbstruck. “Y-you’re sure? That was what you saw? A pony’s magic?” I nodded, I silently prayed that she could help me. “B-but you said that when you were with Tom that he just lost control!” She looked about as confused as I felt.
“That’s what I thought, but then the dreams started and well, I’m sure something else happened completely!” Twilight looked relieved,
“So you’re saying that this was all just because of the dream? Oh Rainbow you scared me! I thought you meant you realised you’d forgotten something about that night! That magic is probably just a form that your mind gave the accident in your dream, to make you feel as though there was some sort of reason behind it all.” I had been worried she’d say something like that.

“Tom saw it.” Twilight’s mouth dropped open in surprise at my curt and short statement.
“H-he...”
“He saw it, yes. He told me something had been there, and that he wouldn’t have simply crashed. He said ‘that’s my talent. What makes me unique here.’ He was sure he hadn’t been the cause and that something had been there.” Twilight still looked doubtful. “It was one of the last things he ever said to me...” I knew it may hurt Twilight to hear that, but it was the only way she would understand.

“So he did see it, there was something there obviously.” I sighed with relief, but my joy was cut short by her next question. “So what colour was the magic?” My stomach clenched at the inquiry. Twilight had hopped off of the sofa and had trotted over to a shelf looking for something.
“Uhmm, it was dark.” Twilight muttered to herself, it sounded like pony’s names. But each one seemed to receive a scornful remark from the unicorn as she thought of them.
“Anything else?” She hovered a book down to her height, cursed and then replaced it.
“It was... blue, very dark blue.” I hoped that Twilight would make the connection herself, meaning that I didn’t have to tell her.

“Dark blue...hmmm darn it!” she yelled as she threw another book back onto the shelf. “I thought i had a book on dark magic, or at least the recorded users of dark magic... why isn’t it here?” The unicorn paced across the room for a minute, I couldn’t help but feel comforted at how serious she was now taking this. She still obviously one of the greatest friends Tom could have ever asked for.

The unicorn’s face lit up! She turned to the stairs and yelled loudly “SPIKE! GRAB A QUILL AND PAPER!” and sure enough her little scribe soon appeared ready to write what was asked of him. “Dear princess, I’m sorry to bother you. But if you could, would you be able to permit me and my friends to stay in Canterlotte castle for a few days. I’m searching for a particular book, and I know that it’s in the Canterlotte library. This book is unequivocally...” She looked back at Spike who shrugged at her, I giggled at the puzzled expression on the dragon’s face. “Ummm. This book is vitally?” The dragon nodded happily. “Important, as it may help me discover someone in Equestria who is using dark magic to harm others! Yours faithfully Twilight Sparkle.”

She waited for her assistant to finish writing, and then nodded at the dragon, who took as the command to send it. With a deep breath he spewed a plume of green flame that engulfed and burnt away the scroll. The wisps left behind floated through the window on an unseen breeze. I watched until they disappeared in the distance, it was still day time so hopefully the princess would be able to reply soon enough.

Within ten minutes of silent waiting, Spike stomach began to rumble. I watched as I saw a light shine from behind his scales on his belly, and travel up his throat and into his mouth which he released with a mighty belch even rivalling me on a good day! Twilight unfurled it with her magic, read it and smiled happily. “Right, I’ll go talk to the others. I’ll explain everything! When they know what the truth is we can find this pony!” She looked suddenly serious. “We’ll all make them pay for taking Tom away from us!” She looked at me with a look that said “I promise.” Which made my stomach squirm with my secret being held inside.

She turned for the front door, looking over her shoulder back at me as she did. “I know today’s been hard on you Rainbow, putting up with me acting so stupidly and then letting all of this out. You must be tired, go home and rest. We’ll call by you tomorrow so we can go!” And with that she was gone.

Tomorrow? Why not today? I went over to the abandoned letter, passing Spike as he began to trudge back upstairs for a nap. I looked at the long curved writing I knew to only be Princess Celestia’s.
“Dearest Twilight, I completely understand your urgency in this matter and I am more than happy to accommodate you and your friends. Especially after the tragedy that has befallen you all lately.
Unfortunately I must ask if you don’t leave for Canterlotte today, for you see me and my sister have certain duties that need to be fulfilled. However, once you arrive tomorrow I can promise you that Luna will be more than happy to help you. She seems to have made it her mission to find Ponies using dark magic, almost as though she wishes to atone for her past.
I am sure my little sister will give you an insight to the dark workings of this kind of magic, after being so close to it for so long. I will inform her immediately, we will meet you in the throne room tomorrow my dearest student!”

Luna! She would be there! Within touching distance. My body seemed to fill with a rage I had never felt before in my life. My wings ruffled themselves in disgust. Luna would be there, and I could show them all what she had done...somehow. Luna would be there. Nightmare Moon...would be there!

Night terrors

I stand in the darkness once again, my blue coat stands out bright against the black that surrounds me. How? What light is there to point me out? I look around for the source, there isn’t anything. I’m all alone in the black and cold. Echoes of that night faded in and out of my head once again, the screeching tires, the metal scraping and grinding, and soon enough Toms scream.

For the first time, I wasn’t scared of the noises I merely let them wash over me. I knew they would pass soon enough and the nightmare would end, leaving me back in my home, in the world where Tom no longer existed. I waited, but the black didn’t dissolve and the noises didn’t persist, there was only darkness and quiet all around me.

I heard a loud clunk from behind me, why did it sound familiar? Then there came a loud slam, as metal shut against metal. I knew that sound! I whirled around, and saw two large lights shining straight at me, they blurred my vision making it impossible to discern the cause of the noise. Then something moved over one of the light’s and partially blocked the other.

At first it was merely a blurred shape, but as my eyes became accustomed to the bright light, the shape began to take form. It was tall, stood on two legs, and had two arms that hung lazily by its sides. I stared at the figure, I couldn’t speak. I knew this was a dream, and yet this was different from all the others. The other nightmares had been based on the past and what had happened that night. This was entirely new. “Well, glad to see you’re getting over me so well huh?” The figure chuckled at the sarcastic comment, the lights (Which I now knew to be headlights) vanished from sight, and simply left the figure there, now illuminated in the same way I was.

“Come here ‘You dummy’” Tom said, as he dropped to a knee and spread his arms out to me. I cried with joy and ran to him. Diving into his embrace, I pushed my muzzle deep into his chest. He was wearing the blue shirt, and his coat that still smelled of berries after all this time. That was the only thing that told me I was still dreaming, he would never have that shirt. It still lay on our bed in our house back in the real world.

“I am so proud of you baby.” He combed his finger through my mane gently. “You’ve worked so hard to keep everything right.” That wasn’t true, I had done barely anything out of my grief. I hadn’t flown, changed the weather, or even helped with Tom’s funeral. I hadn’t worked hard, so why did he say I had? “It’s only a few days until when we should have been together for a year, you know.” His tone was odd, I’d never heard it like that before. “Do you want this feeling of anger and remorse to be with you when that day finally arrives?” He sounded urgent, I nodded into his chest. I didn’t speak a word in case it broke the spell and he disappeared again.

“I didn’t think you would, we both know the truth. You need to show the others what happened as well. I don’t know how, but you need to and it needs to be before you meet Luna. If you don’t you’ll be facing her alone.” I looked up at Tom’s kind face, his voice showed concern for my well being but his words confused me. Confident that the warmth in his embracing arms wouldn’t disappear, I asked him.
“Facing her?” He smiled at my confusion.
“We both know what you’re like. When you get an idea in your head it’s pretty damned hard to get it out. You know just as well as me, that when you see Princess Luna you’re going to lose it! you’ll want to fight her, so you can help me (And you) find peace.”

I guessed that made sense, the rage I had felt when I read of Luna wanting to ‘help’ had been nothing I’d ever felt before, but then again I hadn’t ever suffered such loss until now either. The mare who killed the man I loved would be within striking distance, how could I not act on that? I squeezed Tom’s arm tighter, not wanting him to leave. He took it as my understanding of what he was asking me. He kissed my head tenderly,
“That’s my girl. It’s up to you, you can tell the girls. Or you can do this by yourself... but it’ll be a lot harder if they try to stop you.” And almost like a reflection on a lake, his image began to distort and ripple away into the dark.

His touch vanished and I fell to the floor, no longer leaning on anyone. I was alone again. In the dark and cold of my nightmare’s. My eyes opened, the ceiling of my bedroom hung above me with no change to it at all. I looked to my left and saw Tom’s face smiling back at me stupidly from the picture. I looked back up to the ceiling and sighed. The girl’s wouldn’t believe me, the only one who could stop Nightmare Moon was me! Hopefully we would go straight to the library after meeting Celestia in the throne room. With any luck Princess Luna wouldn’t be there to begin with. I could slip away from the group then. And find her. Tom would rest in peace soon; I’d make sure of that!

There was a knock on the door, “Rainbow? You ready to go? The carriage is here and we’re just waiting for you. It’s about time we caught this pony! They need to pay for what they’ve done!” It was Twilight, I chuckled dryly at her words. She had no idea how right she was! It was time to make sure Luna paid for Tom’s death in full!

revelation

The air ran through my mane wildly, in what seemed an entirely different life, I would have loved the feeling. But now it simply made me shiver as it made my face and neck cold. We had been sent the customary golden carriage pulled by two of The princess’s guards. The strong white Pegasus stallions didn’t say a word, but simply took of as soon as we were all sat in the confines of the little golden pod.

About ten minutes of silence passed before Applejack cut the silence. “So, we all heard from Twilight what you’ve been seein’ Rainbow. But before we go and do anything drastic, you sure that what you keep seeing is what ACTUALLY happened that night? And not just a dream?” Everyone looked at me; I was staring ahead over the rim of the carriage watching the ever approaching castle loom nearer. I nodded silently, my stomach felt as though it was on fire and if I tried to speak it could quite possibly empty it contents out over the floor out of nerves.

“Alright then.” Rarity began in a thoughtful tone. “I’d think the best way for us to find this book is to split up. If Applejack went with Twilight, Applejack can hold the books that get pulled down while Twilight uses her knowledge of the library. Fluttershy if you went with Pinkie Pie you could get the higher books that she can’t reach while she checks the lower once quickly. Spike, would you like to go with me? Seeing as you know the library and i have magic, it could work out rather well don’t you think?”

“Uhhhh... yeah, sure!” I didn’t turn around to look, but he sounded ecstatic. I felt the white unicorns gaze reach the back of my head.
“Rainbow, I suppose that leaves you with Princess Luna if she decides to help. Is that alright?” I felt a slight twitch in my neck at the mention of the name, but I calmed myself. I put on the most normal voice I could and replied.
“Yeah, that sounds perfect.” At least it meant if the blue princess was there, I’d be able to get close to her.

The guards landed outside of the main Castle gates, bringing the carriage down to a gentle stop by the big brass handles. Each of us disembarked the little vessel, and came to a standstill in front of the huge doors before us. “Come on girls.” Twilight said confidently as she took the lead and brought us up to the doors which she opened with her magic.

Consumed by my thoughts, I soon dropped to the back of the line passing through the grand and colourful halls. We approached the staircase in the middle of the hall, it ended with a wide window that spanned across the entire back wall, and sprouted off to the left and to the right. Twilight led us to the right, I followed up the steps but stopped by the window. I looked out into the Canterlotte gardens. I could see the maze, all those years ago Discord had nearly destroyed us there. It’s funny; this place always seems to have something to do with each threat to Equestria. Luna was a Princess here before she became Nightmare Moon, discord had been placed here in the grounds before he escaped. And now all of this was about to end here.

“What’s the matter Dashie?” Pinkie pie bounced over excitedly, “Is there something interesting outside? Like a bird? Or a cloud? Or the sky? Or the grass? Or the castle? Oh wait we’re in the castle! I mean it’s kinda obvious seeing as we’re going up the steps INSIDE the castle which suggests we’d have to be inside the castle to go up these ste”-
“There wasn’t anything Pinkie.” I turned and followed my friends and followed the group up the steps without another word, leaving the pink pony to catch up.

We finally reached the throne room. We entered through yet another large set of doors and the space opened up to the vast hall. The room was the same as after we had defeated Discord, the long red carpet lay ahead of us leading up to the grand golden chair on which Princess Celestia sat. Her mane and tail still shimmered and fluttered in an unseen breeze, her crown and shoes were the same royal gold they had been before. Everything was the same, but why did it feel so different.

It was because of me, so much had happened over the last year that I wasn’t the same pony who had once stood here in front of a gathering of screaming ponies. Hopefully I could still be that pony again, but first it all had to end. The lies, the murder, everything had to end so that life could begin again, the way it had been before.

Twilight approached the throne, “You highness thank you for accommodating us on such short notice.” The Alicorn smiled down at us all. Did her eyes linger on me a second longer?
“Of course my student, after all you have all done so much for Equestria, and now you finally ask a favour from me, I wouldn’t think of denying you what you need.” The girls all bowed their heads in thanks, my mind was somewhere else and so I was soon the only pony not bowing.

I felt a nudge on my ankle and looked down to see a nervous Fluttershy jerking her head to the floor. I jumped, realising my rudeness and bowed hurriedly to the whit Alicorn. As we stood back up she was smiling at me, it wasn’t warm, but almost sad. A sad smile... I had never seen such a thing on the royal Pony.

“Twilight, I had the librarian bring these for you.” Her horn glowed, and from behind her throne she brought out a number of thick looking books. “They are probably the most likely candidates for your search. They are logs of nearly every pony known to study dark magic. I hope these help you all in your search.” The girls huddled around them for a moment, then turned to me as I still stood solitary in centre of the large empty room.

“C’mon Rainbow, this is your search after all!” encouraged Applejack. I glanced to the door, just mere feet from the throne. If Princess Luna were to enter this room, it would be from there. I took a deep breath, preparing to tell everyone the truth. However, as i opened my mouth, the white Alicorn cut in.
“Would you girls possibly mind if I spoke to Rainbow Dash for a moment? You girls can begin your search and she can join you momentarily.” The girls murmured a confused agreement to the Princess and began to look through the books, while the Princess put a foreleg onto my back and led me out to a balcony to the side of the room, overlooking the maze.

“I understand that it was your wish to come here?” The Princess looked at me bemusedly.
“How’s that?... Your majesty” I added quickly, realising my mistake and correcting it quickly.
“Well, even though Twilight didn’t say so in her letter. You have come here only a week after you lost...” The princess seemed to stop herself, as though she was about to say something offensive and realised it.
“The man I loved?” I offered the title, and Celestia nodded in acceptance.
“Well, now you’ve lost him and you are suddenly here about some dark pony who has been causing pain here in Equestria. Then your friend Applejack just said that this was ‘your search after all.’ So tell me Rainbow, what has you so shaken?” I backed away slightly from the overwhelmingly knowledgeable Alicorn.
“I’m not shaken! What makes you say I am?” The smile on the princess’s face faded slowly as she realised that something really was wrong.
“You came in last, when normally you would be first in line at the chance of something new, like this hunt for someone dangerous. You were too distracted to show the respect that you would so often give without a seconds thought.” I grimaced at how obvious id been. “And most of all, you keep glancing at the door to the royal chambers. What’s the matter Rainbow?”

I panicked, I wasn’t sure what to say and what not to say. “Uhhhh...” I looked around for inspiration but none came. “Uhhhh...” The princess’s gaze seemed to penetrate my soul itself, she wasn’t being forceful, maybe it was my loyalty (That damned loyalty) that was making it so hold to keep the truth from my ruler.

“I’m having... dreams...”
“Of?”
“That night. The one that Tom died.” She didn’t look surprised; she’d probably figured that out within the instant I mentioned dreams. She looked at me inquisitively, when I didn’t respond she pursued me.
“And what happened in these dreams.” I strugglef to word it, I didn’t want to blame Luna. Not because I thought there was a chance I was wrong, but because I knew if I accused the princess I would immediately be denied any chance of getting near her. To make her pay! I tapped the side of my head with my hoof and asked quietly.
“Is there any way of showing you all what I saw? Actually SHOWING you?” The princess smiled in understanding and nodded, she led me back into the hall.

“Girls? Could you come here for a moment please?” My friends all turned their heads, they had been in the middle of a heated discussion about a possible pony who had a blue tinted hue to his magic. But they all stopped at the sight of my slightly crestfallen face. They came over without question, Fluttershy placed a hoof over my shoulder,
“I-is everything... alright?” she was worried for me, as always. I didn’t like this dependant Rainbow Dash if had become over the last two weeks. Yet another thing I blamed Nightmare Moon for. Celestia’s horn began to glow once again, and from the under a cushion on her throne she brought out a glass orb.

Twilight, gasped for a moment with realisation in her eyes. What was it? It just looked like a lump of glass to me, then again I wasn’t Celestia’s top student in magic. My friend saw my confused expression, and smiled. “Do you remember the story of how Tom got here? I was using a spell to record the sunrise? Well, that’s what it would have been recorded into.” I looked back at the clear orb, now floating in front of me.

“So...this thing can show you past events?” I looked into the centre of the hollow globe, but I couldn’t see anything. The princess began to speak.
“Yes, it can do that but only if a spell was cast to record that even in particular.” My heart sank,
“Then what good is it?” The princess chuckled slightly which caused me to look up at her in surprise.
“With an alteration to the spell, this orb can also show past thoughts and imaginings. As long as the image is strong enough in your mind, we will be able to see what you’ve been dreaming for so long.”

The girls all gathered around, as I plucked the glass globe out of the air with my two forelegs and fell onto my haunches. “Let your mind wander, with my magic guiding your thoughts I can show everyone what you’ve seen. But as you feel my presence don’t resist, if you do so you risk losing the memory! Do you understand?!” demanded the princess. I was suddenly very tense, yes i hated the second half of the memory. The memory of that night, but that memory of the day proceeding it was the most wonderful I’d ever known! I did as I was asked and let my mind clear itself out and just float around.

As we all watched, the image began to take form inside the orb. I watched the images, but didn’t let them effect me, worrying they may make me resist the slight tingling inside my skull which was Celestia’s magic. As it faded in, it was a depiction of me. Slowly landing over Tom on top of his car, it was as though we were all just an invisible third person watching the events take place.

I heard Twilight gasp at the sight of Tom again, after all this was almost as though they were seeing him in real life, there he was doing something new to them. Because they hadn’t experienced it, this was almost a new chapter of their memories of him. They all watched on. They watched as I lay on top of Tom. Rarity squeaked a small “That’s so darling!” as she watched happily with Spike smiling beside her. When Tom began to stroke my hair I heard Applejack snort with a small happy laugh. When the little me inside the orb snuggled up close to Tom and curled up with him, Fluttershy said in a small and jubilant voice “That’s really nice.” And I even hear Twilight let out a slight “N’awww” as both the miniature replicas of me and Tom fell asleep.

“So that was the same day?” Asked Twilight, amazed at how something so beautiful could happen mere moments before such a tragedy. I nodded contently, the memory made me feel warm inside, and it had seemed to do the same to everyone around me. Seeing Tom so happy in some of his final moments alive helped made us all feel happy and glad for him.

“Hmmmm...” Celestia looked slightly befuddled but said nothing more than that. She tilted her head slightly, and the images began to speed up. In double time me and Tom entered the car and drove down the cliff’s road. I was slightly glad to have the convocation from the inside of the car kept away from the girls. That was my little private memory of him, and it wasn’t meant for sharing.

The anger seemed to begin in my stomach, knowing what was fast approaching meant that I would have to see that damned magic cloud! The cloud that had taken Tom from me! “This is it.” I said shakily, and with that Celestia resumed the memory at normal pace. The girls all took an intake of breath as they watched, dreading what would happen next.

And surely enough, the scene played out just as before. The car flipped upon contact with the dark star filled cloud, and was sent tumbling to the ground. All of the girls and spike scrunched up their eyes and tried to look away upon hearing Tom’s scream. But Celestia said firmly. “Don’t look away! Rainbow needs you to see this, to help her understand!” they all obeyed, and carried on watching as the orb began to focus on the cloud giving them a better view of it. The anger was boiling now, making me almost scream with rage, but I still allowed Celestia to poke around my head, I wouldn’t lose this memory for the world! I would not lose my last day with Tom!

The image faded eventually and I released the orb back into the clutches of Celestia’s magic, which took it back to the throne where it belonged. Everyone watched me for a moment, all of them were speechless. Spike was the first one to start connecting the dots. “So that cloud was what attacked you? And that was definitely magic, there’s no mistaking that!” Applejack took over,
“And it was definitely dark blue like you said.” Rarity than began, showing her ability to notice detail.
“But you didn’t mention those sparkles within the blue colour.”
“KINDA LIKE STARS!” Pinkie chipped in.
“Oh dear, that sounds ... familiar!” whispered Fluttershy, horrified as she made the final connection.

Twilight Sparkle stood there, looking at me. “That’s why you didn’t mind coming here. After so long not even flying by yourself, you were suddenly fine with making the trip here.” she wasn’t mad at me, which I was glad about, she simply sounded amazed at how she had missed these details. “You came here, to show us this? No. You could have just told us. That magic has only been seen being used by one mare in the history of Equestria.” Celestia stood still, she didn’t speak a word but simply let her subjects come to the conclusion themselves.

Twilight continued to think out loud. “That magic... it’s the kind that was used by... Nightmare Moon!” With that, there was a creak from the corner of the room. My rage had been burning from the moment I had seen the cloud, and hearing her name only made me angrier. I was in a dangerous state. We all turned to look into the corner from which the noise had escaped. The door. Just a few feet away from the throne. Had opened, and in came the dark princess of the night sky. Princess Luna...

You!

Luna walked into the room, oblivious to evrypony staring at her. “My apologies my sister for my tardiness, have Twilight and her friends ari”- she stopped when she saw us all, then smiled. “I see! You’re already here, this is most wonderful! It has been too long Twilight Sparkle and friends!” She came over, and tried to shake Twilights hoof.

The purple unicorn looked dazed, she was obviously unsure of what to do. Just as I had predicted she seemed torn between what she saw in the orb, and her faith the Princess’s. The dark blue Alicorn looked puzzled, she turned to another familiar face and smiled. “Fluttershy! It’s so wonderful to be in your graceful presence again, I have been working on what you’ve taught me and I hope my volume is more acceptable now than it was back then!” Fluttershy looked scared; she backed away and huddled behind the furious looking Applejack.
“I-i-its...fine...” She looked to her hooves out of desperation not to look into Luna’s eyes.

Celestia still stood there, she didn’t say anything to warn her sister about what they had just seen. She just stood there and watched the scene play out. Whereas I on the other hand was furious at the sight of the dark blue mare, my back was slightly arched as I hung close to the ground, almost as though I were about to pounce on the princess. Luna saw my expression she was perplexed. “What trouble’s you Rainbow Dash? Have I done something to offend or insult you?” A shiver of disgust ran down my spine as she addressed me. How dare she act so innocent!

I took a determined step forward towards the night Alicorn. She looked slightly alarmed at what must have been a look of pure hate plastered across my face. “You.” I growled. Applejack crossed over between me and the Alicorn, she looked at me reassuringly.
“Now Rainbow, don’ be too hasty now.” I ignored my orange friend and walked right past her. There was a reasonable distance between me and the dark coloured princess, and I savoured the time I took moving towards her.
“You!” I was slightly louder now. My feathers ruffled anxiously and the muscles in my wings twitched slightly. They were ready for a chase, if one broke out that is.

“N-now Rainbow... you...you can’t be sure that...” Fluttershy tried to reason with me, she fluttered over head, speaking as loud as she could while still sounding timid. I didn’t break eye contact with Lu-Nightmare!
“YOU!” I screamed, I bent my legs to spring forward at the Alicorn before me. She took a tentative step back. She was scared, GOOD! I extended my legs, prepared to sail through the air and tackle the dark Alicorn. I felt myself begin to rise into the air, but before I reached a foot into the air I was pulled back to the ground. I crumpled and fell on my side. It felt as though I had been hogtied, I looked down to my hooves, my forelegs were being held by a purple haze of magic, and my rear legs were held by a mystical blue.

I turned my head back towards my friends, rarity and Twilight’s horns were both glowing as they held me to the ground, they looked miserable. I opened my mouth and screamed at them. “LET ME GO!”
“We can’t Rainbow, you’re going to try and hurt princess Luna.” Twilight sounded heartbroken.
“SO?! SHE DESERVES IT! AFTER WHAT SHE’S DONE SHE DESERVES IT!” I looked back at the dark Mare, And screamed again. “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I’M TOO CLOSE!” I felt my eyes fill with tears, Tom wouldn’t be at peace without this! Why didn’t the others understand that?

“LET ME GO!”
“I’m sorry darling but we can’t let you do something brash, not when there is a chance you’re wrong.” Rarity sounded as though she were about to cry, I felt the magic on my rear legs slacken slightly.
“I’m not!” I thought I could move my legs reasonably well now. If I timed it right, I could throw them both off and their magic will shatter. Then I’d be on Nightmare Moon before they could recast their spells.

I moved my hooves back under my body, ready to pounce again. But once again I was pushed to the ground. It was Pinkie pie, she lay on top of me trying to stop me from jumping at the mare I hated so much. “Dashie! Don’t do it! What if you’re wrong? You’ll be in way too much trouble! What if you’re wrong?” I tensed my muscles, a deep growl growing in my throat.
“No...I’m ... NOT!” I tried to push up, but Applejack then joined the fray. She pushed down hard on the small of my back with her strong forelegs.

“Now hold it thar Rainbow, you can’t just go bowling after the princess cos of a dream!” My rage reached its peak.
“You were ready to go after a pony you didn’t know because of that dream!” I grunted from the ground. I stared into the eyes of the dark mare, she no longer looked fearful. She looked angry. I was glad to get any reaction out of her! “Now because it someone you know! AND YOU HAVE PROOF! You’re not sure anymore! TOM WOULD HAVE WANTED THIS! LET ME GO, LET ME GO, LET ME”-

“Sister, I suggest you teleport somewhere else.” Celestia took charge of the situation without even a raised tone. Her sister looked at her for a moment, and with a nod she closed her eyes and disappeared with a flash of light. I screamed again, but this time it was out of loss, I’d missed my chance. Tom’s killer was getting away, and no one believed me!” out of the corner of my eye I saw something. It was a flash of light. Through the open balcony door I could see the grass just outside of the maze. Luna had teleported there, and was headed inside the twisting labyrinth.

I felt strength I had never felt before. My chance wasn’t gone, not yet! “NOOOOOOOOO!” With all my might I pushed my legs up, shattering the magic surrounding them. I then threw off the two friends on top of me. I crouched low to the ground. My wings unfurled, and I began to run. I picked up speed quickly, headed for the outside. As I approached, the glass doors to the balcony closed with what I knew was Celestia’s magic! I jumped, tucking my head in as I did so.

I smashed through the glass of the door, shards stuck in my fur and mane, but I didn’t feel them as they cut my skin. Adrenaline had taken over now. I spread my wings wide, and flapped for the first time in nearly two weeks! The speed I released was unimaginable. I was fast reaching a speed almost enough to create a sonic rainboom! I shot like a bullet straight towards the dark Alicorn, who hadn’t yet noticed me streaming towards her.

She looked up just in time. She saw my face inches from hers. I saw the sudden fear in her eyes, I was glad, she was now feeling the fear Tom had before he died! My forehooves made contact with her chest and knocked her straight to the grassy ground. We skidded away from the mazes entrance and out towards the open statue garden. We stopped with a terrible crunch, as Luna’s head collided with a statue. Bringing us to a complete stop.

I couldn’t help but look up at the stone sculpture above us. It was discord, his face was still in that petrified expression from when we had last defeated him! How ironic! The god of chaos was about to witness me kill Luna, avenge my love. And bring balance back to the world! Finally the time was here!

Why are you doing this to me?

I towered over Nightmare Moon, my feet pressed against her chest pinning her to the floor. She may look like Luna, but it was obvious that it was the dark mare from legend. She had killed Tom needlessly, almost killing me at the same time. She had haunted my dreams for nights! She was all I could think about, her defeat was all I cared about.

Her horn began to glow as she tried to cast a spell, but I was too quick. My right forehoof slammed into the horn and pinned it to the floor causing the blue mare to squeal slightly out of surprise. Her magic glow faded as the power seeped into the earth below us. I leant in to her ear and whispered slowly to her, “No magic this time your majesty. You’re not killing anyone else!” The blue mare opened her mouth to try and speak. I hit her with my left hoof, hard! She spat out a small splatter of blood from the contact to her jaw. This felt good, she was suffering, the way Tom had suffered for those three hours in a hospital bed, the way I had suffered for the last two weeks!

“YOU DON’T GET TO SPEAK! YOU’RE GOING TO LAY THERE AND TAKE EVERYTHING THATS COMING TO YOU!” I lashed out again, this time with my right hoof. There was more blood than before, it spewed forward and onto the immaculate green grass below. I even felt spots of the red liquid spatter across my blue coat, but I didn’t care. Luna was too dazed to try and use magic again, here eyes faded in and out of focus as she looked up at me.

I was now standing with each of my limbs pinning hers down to the grassy floor. She struggled weakly but I was positioned perfectly, she was stuck here. “You took my Tom from me...” My rage seemed to vanish suddenly, as the opportunity for answers suddenly arose. “Why? Why did you do it? What did he ever do to you?!” I heard hoof steps behind me fast approaching. I raised another hoof preparing to pound at the Mare’s horn, I intended to break it off from her skull completely! That would stop her ever using her powers to hurt others again!

I felt the magic pull me off of the princess before I could strike, I called out madly as I was dragged away from the dark pony and towards what I could only suspect was my friends and Princess Celestia. “WHHHHYYYY?” The blue Alicorn mare stood shakily, she rubbed the blood from her mouth with her fur on her foreleg. And looked at me coldly.
“I did no such thing as taking your ‘Tom’ from you.” My insides exploded!
“LIAR! YOU’RE LYING!” I felt warm forelegs wrap around my chest keeping me back. I looked down to see that one was orange, another was yellow, and the final one was pink. My other two friends were obviously the ones using their magic on me to hold me back. I took no notice, I only had eyes for the Alicorn in front of me!
“I am not lying to you Rainbow Dash. I never met ‘Tom’”
“YOU’RE LYING! I KNOW YOU’VE MET HIM! I HAVE PROOF, I HAVE A PICTURE OF YOU TALKING TO HIM AT THE GALA! YOU WERE INTIMIDATING HIM! WHY?” The Alicorn looked confused. She looked up behind me, to what I could only guess was her sister. When no comment came from the group behind me Luna looked back to me.

“Do you have this picture?”
“NO! I...I left it at home. BUT SPIKE SAW IT TOO!” I searched for the little dragon, I spotted his tail sticking out from behind Twilights flank. “SPIKE! TELL THEM!” me and the girls all looked to the dragon, who then peeked out from behind his sister nervously.

“Uhmmm, Where was that picture exactly?” What? What was he talking about?!
“In my house!” The girls turned to me “Yesterday! You came over to talk about Twilight and then you spotted Luna and Tom in the background of one of our pictures!” The girls turned their heads back to the dragon, as though watching a fast tennis match! The dragon rubbed the back of his neck nervously.
“R-Rainbow... I’ve never been to your house, not in the last few months anyway... Yesterday you came over to talk to Twilight on your own, and you guys made up. Then we ALL came here. To help you! I never came to talk about Twilight with you...”

Time seemed to stand still. What? But the dragon had shown up at my house, he had looked terrible, nervous even ill! Come to think of it, the dragon suddenly looked a million times better. In fact it was impossible for him to look so well after what he had looked like yesterday! “But...” I couldn’t think straight. “But... you... and I... you asked me to help Twilight!” I pleaded with dragon to agree with me, but he merely shrugged his shoulders miserably as he saw my face drop into sadness with his actions.

“Maybe I...” Spike began trying to twit his words to help me, but Twilight put a hoof on top of his head to calm the panicking assistant. The dragon stopped and breathed deeply. Twilight moved over to me, standing between me and the quickly recovering Luna ahead. All I could see were her big purple eyes. When she spoke, it was barely more than a whisper.

“Rainbow, Spike was at Rarity’s all day yesterday. Helping her sort out gem stones. He left hours before you came to talk to me. And he was still there when I went to tell Rarity what we were going to do today. He was never near you yesterday Rainbow.” I heard the honesty in her voice, saw the truth in her great purple rimed pupils. She believed what she was saying, one hundred percent.

I felt the despair of being alone spread around me, tears came to my eyes quickly at my friends words. She moved slightly out of sadness, she leant on her left side rather than her right, so she could reach up and stroke my mane and reassure me. They must think I was nuts! When my friend moved, I gained a clear line of sight to the dark blue princess -now fully recovered- watching the scene before her. “W-why?” I pleaded with her. “Why are you doing this to me?” what did I ever do to you?! What did Tom ever do to you?!” I gave into the bitter sobs building up inside me. I went limp, I was exhausted. The forelegs around me slowly lowered me to the ground and retreated. I lay there on the ground, tears soaking the tall slender blades of grass below me.

“Let... please... let them know what you did! Don’t do this to me, I...I can’t stand it being the only one that knows the truth.” Pinkie approached cautiously, she laid her forelegs over me and hugged me tight.
“It’s okay Dashie. It’s not your fault, you didn’t know what you were doing right? I’m sure that Princess Luna will forgive you if you just-“
“I...don’t want to... be forgiven... not by her! Not by a lying piece of scum who hides behind deceit so I can’t make her pay for what she did. She needs to pay for... everything...” I moaned into the grass helplessly. I’d never felt so alone. Tom. I need you!

“Rainbow dash.” I looked ahead, the ‘thing’ in front of me –it wasn’t a pony, a pony would have a sense of pride!-had begun to speak. “I apologise, but I cannot repent for a crime I haven’t committed.” She smiled up at my friends. Her pandering made me feel sick. “Listen to your wonderful friends, the ones who have stood by you for so long and through so much.” I felt the fire reignite in my belly.

“Yeah Dashie, see Luna’s a great pony! She’d never do something like th”-
“GET AWAY FROM ME PINKIE!” I exploded from the ground, shattering the spells of my friends holding me, and sending my pink friend flying off to the side. I bolted straight for the Alicorn! As I reached my panicle of speed, my right forehoof came into contact with the princess’s nose. In one second, there she was falling to the side, blood pouring from her nostrils, and in the next there was only whiteness, all around me simply white light shone from every direction. What had happened?

Why did you have to go?

The world of white was the complete opposite of all of my nightmares. Whereas the world had all been dark in my dreams, and a single light picked me out, in this world there was nothing but light. I looked around, where was Princess Luna? My friends? The garden of statues? Equestria itself? I wasn’t dreaming, I knew that! Maybe I’d finally lost my mind? Was this the way I would see the world from now on? The thought should have scared me, but it didn’t. This place was serine, peaceful, tranquil.

I heard the echo’s of FOOT steps behind me. I turned to see Tom striding towards me. He was wearing his white buttoned shirt, though it was undone almost to his stomach. And he held his coat over his shoulder as though it was hot. He smiled at me, and my heart filled with warmth. He didn’t say anything yet, he just walked straight up to me and kneeled before me.

“You have been so brave baby.” He said softly. Dropping the coat and taking hold of my face with both hands. His fingers were still as warm as they had been in the days we’d spent out in the sun. I closed my eyes, a small moan of happiness escaped my lips as I twisted my head within his fingers. Making them ruffle my fur, to make sure he was really here. “Just a little more bravery. And then it’s all over Dash, you can do that can’t you? For me? Just finish off Nightmare Moon, and it’s all over!” I nodded happily. I would have agreed to anything at that moment. I was with Tom again, not in a dream, but in reality. His touch was too noticeable and his voice was too clear to be anything else but real.

When I opened my eyes tears of joy brimmed at the lids. “I love you Tom.” He smiled at me, and picked up his coat, he lowered it over my shoulders and let it hang over my body, like he had done on that night so long ago.
“And I love you. You damned fast Pegasus!” I laughed at the similarity of this convocation and that one eleven months ago. I wanted to kiss him. One more time before I went and showed this ‘last bit of bravery’ for him. I leant in towards him, my eyes half closing as I did. He mirrored my actions, and we began to move towards one another.

A voice cut us short, shocking me out of my trance like state. “THAT’S ENOUGH!” the voice was familiar, and yet I’d never heard it so angry before so it was hard to place. The white around us dissolved away into the statue garden I had just been in moments ago. We stood by an empty podium, and at its base lay the blue Alicorn Luna/ Nightmare Moon. I looked around and saw my friends all looking on in pure surprise as they saw Tom –the only thing not to dissolve from the world of white- holding me close. I was glad, they now knew I had done the right thing. Or how would I have gotten Tom back?

I looked back into Tom’s eyes, mine still full of tears. The question that had been on my mind for weeks now passed my lips for the first time. “Why? Why did you have to go?” Tom simply smiled, he took hold of my chin and said quietly.
“It wasn’t my choice. I’d never go anywhere without you Dash. She’s the one who made that decision for me.” He glared down at the unconscious body of the night Princess. “Just one last blow to her little blue head, and then I’ll be back forever.” He smiled and leant in to kiss me.

“THAT’S ENOUGH I SAID!” Celestia was standing just behind Tom’s back. She looked furious. The two of us looked up in fear of her angry expression. She glared down at Tom and said quietly, but with more power than any yell I’ve heard in my life. “let...her go.” Tom didn’t obey but continued to look up at the pearly Alicorn. “DISCORD! THAT’S ENOUGH! LET HER GO!” What did she say? I looked down to Toms face once more as he looked down towards me. His look of fear replaced by a smirk of satisfaction.

He sighed, and melodramatically flung his arms away from me and bounced up to his feet. “Now really! You never do let me have any fun Celestia!” His face rippled, and the ripple continued down his body all the way to his feet. At the same time, the coat around my shoulders became lighter and lighter, I looked down to see it fading away like a mirage. When the distortion passed, Tom was gone. There stood the grand master of chaos. Discord the Draconaquus.

“So, Celestia. Do you think I did a good job at playing that sappy little whelp? I’d like to think I did.” He clicked his fingers and a skull appeared in his hand. “Oh the art of acting has always been a passion of mine!” he held the skull at arm’s length and looked deep into its eyes as he carried on mocking us all. I kept staring in disbelief, I couldn’t understand what I was seeing. Discord had been in stone only minutes ago, how had he...

My mind finally registered the empty podium near Luna’s unconscious body. That had been where Discord’s stone coated body had been. How had he escaped? And why now? What was he doing acting like Tom? Was it all just to spite me for helping defeat him? Discord vanished from in front of us all with a loud bang and a white flash. Another flash of light appeared quickly and I felt a taloned hand grip my shoulder. “Confused dear Rainbow Dash? Well you should be, after all you can’t be expected to understand anything that’s going on at the moment.” He twirled around the air so his face came centimetres to mine, his eyes shifted into mock sorrow. “After all... you’re just so riddled with g-g-grief!”

“I said leave her alone Discord, she’s been through too much!” The Droconequus laughed loudly at the command, with a click of his fingers a pair of sunglasses appeared on his head. He pulled them down over his eyes and laid back on the air and floated backwards towards the Alicorn.
“My apologies my dear, but I’m not taking requests today. You see I’ve just gotten out of a stone prison for a second time. So I think I’m going to enjoy myself.” He turned his gaze on me once again. “I don’t suppose your little bird brain has figured out what’s going on yet has it?” amidst the confusion my mind flared with anger. This monster had posed as Tom! To taunt me! And now he insulted me!

The chimera sighed slowly. “I never pegged you as the smart one Rainbow but honestly I didn’t think you were stupid.” He soared into the air high above all of us and looked down at the scene before he continued. “Thanks to your little attack on dear Princess Luna, you made enough turmoil to allow my return. Your friends wanted to stop you, but at the same time they were unsure if your dream was right or wrong and so they were in turmoil. One of the monarchs lives were in jeopardy which put the fate of Equestria in turmoil. And...” he paused and licked his lips as he looked down on me. “You had lost your love, and so you replaced that love with hate. Which put your heart in turmoil against your sense of loyalty as well.

He knew about my dreams? What was happening? How did he know so much? Celestia finally spoke up. “Girls, listen to me I know what’s happening, Discord is”- her lips disappeared in a flash of white light, replaced by a zip which magically shut itself.
“Now Celestia, you’ve already ruined one of my games today already! If they are going to find out, let it be from me at least. There’s no need to be a spoil sport.” He descended slowly, addressing everypony now. “You all know what dear Celestia represents don’t you? That’s right harmony, and we all know what I represent. Chaos, and marvellous DISharmony.”

“Now even though I was locked up in that stone statue, didn’t you ever notice that there was still conflict in some form or another? Ponies arguing with one another, rivalling each other.” He paused, and his eyes glinted as he looked from me to Twilight. “Having the same crush on another being.” My stomach churned, did he know everything? I glanced over and Twilight looked just as shocked as I felt. “Well my little ponies, the reason why this happens is because ‘discord’ and ‘chaos’ are natural things and cannot be defeated, the same as harmony cannot be defeated. In the world there must always be BALANCE!”

I’d never listened to someone with such baited breath before. Why was I so entranced by his words? My gut told me there was something important about to be said, and so I listened to it, instead of bowling the chimera over and laying into him. He continued slowly and patronizingly. “Balance between harmony and chaos is always in flux, Celestia does her best to tip the scales in her favour, while do the same for chaos. This is because we were made to do this! We are immortal only because we are meant to carry out an endless task, and that is why you or any other elements of harmony wielders have been able
to truly beat me.”

He yawned and stretched his mismatched limbs. “But I’m getting boring with all this teaching, so I’ll cut to the chase. Your dear ‘Tom’ came to this world and threw it into unbalance.” This is what I’d been waiting for. “Now even when encased in stone, I can still sense what happens in Equestria, it is after all my job. I sensed him come into this world, and I expected him to be taken back to his own world by your fearless ruler here.” He pointed to the princess, her mouth still zipped shut. “But after a month of him still being here I began to feel something. Harmony was returning, the princess made your little boyfriend realise he could have a place in this world. So he stayed, and once he found his place. Harmony was far outweighing chaos.”

He looked at me almost with a look of disgust, “And then he fell in love, and the one he loved, loved him back. Eurgh, that is the one thing that creates harmony above all else. I had to bring an end to it, I had to bring ‘balance.’” My stomach seemed to flip as the realisation hit me hard. It was him, he’d done it! He’d killed Tom! I looked down at the blue bleeding Alicorn, and I felt sick with myself. She HAD been innocent; it hadn’t all just been an act. Discord chortled at my final realisation. His voice echoed, across the empty grounds ominously.

“Tom being here created too much harmony, by killing him I created the unbalance to balance out that harmony. Confusing? I know, but merely meant for us guardians really.” He floated over to me and ran a lion paw finger up my neck towards my chin. “Heart break creates the best chaos of all Rainbow Dash!” I pulled myself away from him.

“You used me. You used Tom.” He smiled at me but there was no warmth in it only mirth.
“Yes, I did. Because it’s my job. But then what I did next was just for fun...” He winked at me and with a flash of light he was holding the picture of me and my friends at the gala. He threw it to the floor so that all could see it. “Look in the top left corner little ponies, you’ll see Rainbow was telling the truth. She THOUGHT she saw Luna and her beloved talking. When actually...” As his sentence came to a close, the image of Tom and Luna flickered out of the image. “That was little trick of mine. Now I can’t alter anything big when imprisoned, but I can still influence perception and little aspects of life. Understand?”

He looked over at the Princess, who was struggling to breath. He sighed and clicked his fingers in a bored fashion. The zip disappeared, and Celestia gasped for air as her lips returned. We all watched as she recuperated and looked lividly at the chimera, it was a look I’d never seen on her face before. “You then framed my sister! I knew when I was looking through Rainbow’s mind, I could...sense something foreign. You altered her memories through her dreams didn’t you?!”

Discord clapped sarcastically. “A simple patch of ice on a road, hardly any task for me Celestia, even if I’m stuck in stone. And altering memories and perception?” He snorted, “I could do that in my sleep, in fact I tend to do just that.” He began to float into the air once again. “Then it was all just a case of getting Rainbow here to confront her ‘enemy’ then I could see it all play out in front of me. Now, I didn’t expect to be so close to the action that I could escape, but that’s just a bonus!”

He looked across us all, “Well my funs over for now, I find myself bored with THESE element wielders, they’re far too serious for my taste! I’m free, and Rainbow is entirely to blame for that! Enjoy living with the guilt my dear!” He turned his head to the white Alicorn princess as he rose ever higher into the sky. “I’ll see you in another hundred years or so Celestia! I’d rather talk to you when these annoying pests are all long dead!” He smirked maliciously at us all. “Goodbye my little ponies! Oh and thank you again Rainbow, you really were a great assistant.”

He began to laugh, his laugh continued long after he had vanished with a flash of light. His voice continued to ring out across the empty gardens, his plan had worked. He was free again, and he had caused plenty of chaos in his path to freedom. It had never been Tom, I had been a stupid, hopeless fool! All I could do now was pray for forgiveness from everypony, and to the memory of Tom!

Sweat dreams

Luna stirred on the ground. “LUNA!” Celestia ran to her sister, closely followed by all my friends. I stayed rooted to the spot, petrified by what had just happened. I stared off into the distance not really seeing anything. I felt cold, I felt week, I felt foolish. I felt as though i had betrayed everything I cared about. The princess, my friends, and Tom...Tom would have never wanted me to hurt anyone! Why had I ever thought that would be what he wanted?

Discord. He had twisted my mind to near breaking point, and now that the pressure had been released. Only now did I see the true horror of what I had done. I turned to look at the blue Princess, she was being helped to her hooves by her big sister, with each of my friends crowded around her checking if she was alright. She smiled sheepishly and shakily, the blood had stopped flowing from her nose but she looked slightly pale still. The dried flakes and splatters of dried red liquid coated her chest and the sides of her face.

Dear Celestia! What had I done!? How could I have done that? I was the element of Loyalty! And yet I’d gone and done this to one of the rulers of Equestria, what a failure I am! I felt sick to my stomach! My stomach felt as though it was about to empty its contents in disgust at myself. I had fallen to my knees at some point, I couldn’t tell when. But now I stood, my legs felt even shakier than Luna’s had looked. Tom, would you ever forgive me? Maybe I didn’t know you as well as I thought. The love of my life, and I couldn’t even tell what he would have wanted or not!

I approached the group ahead slowly, my friends all turned at the sound of my hooves getting closer. No one said a word, they merely parted ways so I could reach the dark blue princess. She looked fearful, of course she did! She had been unconscious the entire time Discord had been here, for all she knew I was insane and wanted to kill her!

I reached her hooves, I stopped, and then fell to my knees. I bowed my head in shame and pressed my forehead against the base of her ornate blue shoes. Tears. Yet again the salty pearls fell from my eyes as I lay there before the princess I had nearly killed. My heart felt as though it was breaking all over again. Tom had never been near me, supporting me, he was simply lying in the ground back at ponyville church. The sudden realisation of his absence, and the actions my grief stricken mind had caused both hit me hard. And I broke down into tears.

“I’m so sorry! I...I... I can’t explain... how sorry...I’m...I’m sorry!” I wept into the grass below and on the dark princess’s shoes. My voice would hardly work, I couldn’t say a normal sentence anymore! I couldn’t speak, and yet I needed to say the most important sentence of my life. How could the dark princess even think to forgive me? I had needlessly attacked her, I had thought I’d had proof, but it had all been a lie. The picture of me and the girls at the gala lay close by, I could feel the frame pushing into my rear leg. Discord, he had tainted my mind. He had used what I’d cared about the most to turn me into something I hated! A traitor. How could I look my friends in the face again? How could I look any citizen of Equestria in the face again after attacking one of their rulers!

My mind raced with all these thoughts in a matter of seconds, the tears cascaded down my cheeks as I feared what would come next. I felt something warm on my back. Shakily I looked up to see Luna, she had lowered herself down to her knees, and laid her slender head over my body. I wept even harder. Letting all my emotions run wild and free. Another warm body.

Twilight had come over. She sat next to me and rubbed her head against mine. Rarity, on the other side of me began to do the same. Applejack then approached, who began to stroke my mane gently and caringly. Pinkie came over and just hugged the part of my back that wasn’t covered by Luna’s head. And fluttershy? I heard her approach, but I didn’t feel her near me. Was she too mad at me? I’d understand completely if she was. Silence for a moment, and then. She began to sing. Her voice quavered on the verge of tears as she let out every quiet note, and yet soothing me as I shuck from every heaving sob and every breath I took.

“Hush now, quiet now
It's time to lay your sleepy head
Hush now, quiet now
It's time to go to bed...”
I felt myself beginning to drift away. The exhaustion of the last two weeks had finally caught up with me. The lullaby, the warmth of everyone around me, it all made me sleepy. And soon I dozed off in the middle of the statue garden.

..................................................................................................

I was lying on a cloud, the sun drenching every part of my body. The warmth was wonderful. I heard a shout, was it my name? I turned over and looked through the bottom of the cloud. I couldn’t see anyone there. I began to pull my head back into the sun when I heard it again. “Rainbow?!” I stood up on the cloud, and looked to ponyville below me. It was almost entirely empty. I should be able to see who’s shouting me.

“Rainbow!” I spotted movement. Just outside my house. Something was standing in the doorway. I hopped off of the cloud and dived straight towards my house. As I approached, the figure entered the house and was lost from sight. That wasn’t a pony! I picked up speed, and soared through the open door and into the centre of the room. I couldn’t see anyone.

I heard a happy chuckle from behind me. I turned around in awe as I recognized the laugh. Perched on the end of the fireplace, was Tom. He was leaning forward towards me, an eager smile on his face. I smiled and landed before walking over to him. Before I could say a word he swept me up in his arms, and kissed me. We stayed there for a long time, just holding one another and showing our love to one another.

When the kiss was finally over, Tom pulled away and smiled at me. He leant back on the mantle above the fire place, letting me drop back to the floor. “Wow, one year already.” He said dreamily, “Can’t believe it’s been such a long time already!” his cutiemark flashed in the light of the sun pouring through the window. I laughed.
“Well, to be honest I think it’s been dragging by quite slowly.” I giggled at Tom’s mock shocked expression!
“My love! You wound me so!” we both laughed again. This was what should have told me if it had been Tom, in my dreams caused by Discord, I had been made to feel miserable and to harbour hate. But Tom had never made me feel like that in life, this was how he always made me feel; warm, content and happy. We grew quiet, and he looked at me with those eyes I could fall in love with a hundred times and still find something new within them.

“I love you Dash, babe...have a great life! For me! Never give up. You are the greatest thing I ever had in my life. I want you to find something that means that much to you! Promice me you will!” I was confused.
“What are you talking about? Are you leaving?” the room began to fade. But his smile still remained, that dazzlingly bright smile. His lips formed one last sentence.
“I love you baby!”

My eyes opened, and I looked to the ceiling of my bedroom. Still half in the world of the dream, I jumped out of bed and ran to the living room. “TOM?!” there was no response. I looked up to the mantle of the fireplace where Tom had sat. He wasn’t there. But there was the bottle.
“Tom’s brand. Blended from 20 apples
The Apple families homemade cider” It had been just over a month since Tom had died. And just over two weeks since Discord’s escape. Amazingly the Princess’s had forgiven me in an instant, and so had my friends. Discord had remained true to his word it seemed, there were no disturbances throughout the kingdom, it seemed he had been honest that he would wait until me and my friends had passed away before he started anything new.

We had all returned to ponyville, and life had resumed soon enough. None of my friends bore any resentment to what I had done, they all knew it had been because of the Draconequus twisting my mind. I on the other hand hadn’t forgiven myself completely, I don’t think I ever truly will. All I could do is try and repent for my actions by helping the kingdom and my friends in every possible way. I had begun to speak with Luna through the occasional letter, every time i sent one I would apologise for my actions, and every time she replied she would ask me to stop. Pinkie had been right that day, Luna was a wonderful pony! There was no trace of the dreaded Nightmare Moon anymore, she was just a kind and loving princess, just like her sister.

I took the bottle from the mantle. In my dream Tom had been right. Twelve months, a year. It had passed way too quickly. I opened the bottle, the fizzy liquid hissed as the gas escaped the glass. I smelled it, it was sweet. I took a sip, though the liquid was cold, it warmed my insides as it touched my stomach. Sweat, and left me feeling warm inside. This bottle had been correctly named. It was just how Tom had made me feel inside when he hugged me, kissed me or even just spoke to me.

I moved over to the window, and looked out into the sky. Maybe it had been just a dream, or maybe it was Tom’s spirit saying one last goodbye, but Tom had asked me to find something I loved as much as he had loved me. I drank from the bottle, and looked at a particularly circular looking cloud. It resembled a hoop, almost as though the sky was showing me the path I should take, all I had to do was pass through that first ring! My wings twitched, they longed to feel the air beneath their feathers again. If there was something out there I could love that much, it would be up there in the sky where I belonged. The nightmare was over, discord was out there but he had said he would not be bothering us for around a hundred years, for now there was peace. For now there was harmony.

I finished the bottle and placed it on the table, I snorted. “Since when did I get so sappy!?!” I spread my wings and beat them hard, launching myself out through the open window and into the sky. I was free again, lifted from my grief and guilt, at least for a little while. The sky was a deep blue, the same as Tom’s eyes. Thank you, for everything. I’ll always love you, and I’ll live my life for the both of us! The speed made my eyes water, the air around me seemed to bend. Sparks seemed to emit from my outstretched hooves. With a deafening BOOM the air around me exploded, and all over Ponyville a rainbow spread across the sky as the sonic rain boom propelled me through the sky.

I love you...Tom, and I will forever.

END

I hope you enjoyed this story, hopefully you found the sad parts just as tear jerking as I did when i wrote them!
thank you all for supporting the story!

In the wake of the wake

We had the wake at the library, it seemed fitting. It was the first place we had all really met him, so it should be the place we all said one last goodbye. My throat was soar and my eyes burned, but Fluttershy refused to let me go home. She used the same line she had the night before “It may not seem to help now, but trust me it will.” The usually shy pony could be particularly strong willed when the need arose. So I stayed in the corner for most of the time, but I ventured out into the sombre group of people to find a drink at times.

On one of my ventures I found pinkie, her hair was the usual straight it was when she was sad. She sat with Rarity and the two had been talking about their fond memories of Tom. The pink pony’s lips curled into a smile when she saw me coming over, her hair twitched for a moment as though about to poof into its usual bouncy self. However in the end it stayed the same.

The three of us spoke of times when Tom had helped us, Rarity told us a story how he had been so clumsy bringing in her new fabrics at one time, he had to go running down the hill after a stray roll fell out of his grip and escaped. We all laughed, that was Tom alright. Always funny, even when he didn’t mean to be. The convocation didn’t last for long though, as both had been working tirelessly over the past few days. They eventually decided to return home early for the night, so they both hugged me tight and left to get some well deserved sleep.

As I returned to the corner of the room, I thought hard about how little I had done for Tom’s funeral, yes I was in so much of a mess that I wouldn’t have been able to do much. But I still felt horrible about how much work my friends had put into it when it should have really been my responsibility. Where the hay was all that pride I used to be filled with? Because I could really use some of it these days.

I saw Applejack approaching, I smiled at her, trying to put on a brave face. By the look of sorrow on hers I guessed I wasn’t doing a good job. As she came close, she jerked her head towards the empty kitchen. I followed her without argument. Compared to the crowded room next-door, the kitchen seemed like a ghost town.

Applejack, moved over to one of the tables in the white room and took off her hat. Reaching in with her teeth, she took something out and placed it on the table.
I crossed the room to get a closer look. It was a bottle... I looked at Applejack with confusion. All she did was nudge her head towards it and smile. So I looked closely at the label on the brown/yellow liquid, and I took in a sharp intake of breath!
“Tom’s brand. Blended from 20 apples
The Apple families homemade cider .”
I looked up at Applejack, I was speechless my mouth just hung open in surprise.
“He helped us collect plen’y more apple’s than we usually did. And seeing as we’re gonna have to go back to how we used to do things, we thought it was right to have the last batch made under his name.” I felt my mouth slowly curve into a smile. Elation was filling me up for the first time in what seemed like forever.

“It’s the first one we’ve made, I think it’s right that you should have it.” Applejack came up to me and bumped her head against mine affectionately, “I’m gonna head on home now sugar cube. But Twi and Fluttershy are still around if you need anything.” She picked up her hat and left through the exit in the kitchen. I stared at the closed door for a while, only now just realising how great a friend the orange pony had been (STILL WAS) to Tom. I took hold of the bottle, I wanted to try it. To see what all of Tom’s hard work had created. I resisted the urge however. Next month would be mine and Tom’s anniversary. I’ll drink it then.

I re-entered the main room, a lot of ponies had gone home. Only a few tired looking mares and stallions seemed to be left. I moved across the room and entered what used to be Toms bedroom when her had lived here. I moved over to the bed and slid the bottle under the pillow, now it was safe from any thirsty ponies. I left the room feeling brighter than I had for a while. I looked around to find either Twilight or Fluttershy. I couldn’t see the unicorn, but the yellow Pegasus was in plain sight. She was lying on one of the sofa’s half asleep, it wasn’t surprising seeing as how we had both stayed up most of the night crying.

I approached my oldest friend as she let out a small yawn. Her ears went flat, and her big blue eyes seemed to go even wider as she tried to swat away her tiredness. I sat next to her, she looked at me and smiled at me widely.
“You know Fluttershy, you don’t have to stay here, go home get some sleep.” The Pegasus seemed shocked, more at herself then me. She bounded up and like a little Filly widened her eyes as much as she could.
“Oh no, but I want to stay Rainbow. I’m not tire at”- she was cut off by her biggest yawn of the night, as she found herself unable to suppress it.

“Come on.” I turned to everyone else left in the room and addressed them all. “Thank you everyone for coming, but it’s been a long day and I think it’s best if we call it quits for the night.” There was a murmur of agreement from everypony in the room, and we all began to file out of the room. Once outside, I turned to Fluttershy. “Now you go home, you need to sleep. Now I know what you’ve been doing you can’t get away with not catching up on the rest you’ve obviously been missing. Fluttershy looked at her hooves and rubbed her foreleg with the other nervously.
“I-I-I’m sorry Rainbow...it’s just... I thought it was the best thing I could do today and...” Oh Celestia, I’d insulted her!
“No, no, no, noooo. I’m not angry with you, i just want you to start catching up on your rest after everything you’ve done for me!”
“Oh,” she looked up and smiled happily, I breathed a sigh of relief. “Well, I guess I am quite tired... I’ll see you tomorrow?” I nodded, and with that she fluttered off in the direction of her home.

I began to head home, filled with appreciation for everything my friends had done to make this easier on me. It didn’t stop the pain, I don’t anything would, but at least it helped to feel something other than sorrow for a change. Tom wouldn’t have wanted to see me miserable. I thought about everything my friends had done, Twilights speech, Rarity’s suit, fluttershy’s wreath, Applejacks cousins helping with the coffin and Applejack herself for... THE BOTTLE! I’d left it at the library!

I turned tail and ran back to the hollowed out tree as fast as I could! The lights were all still on, so I guess that meant Twilight hadn’t gone to sleep yet. That would mean the door should still be open. To my relief it was. After such a crowded gathering in the building, it was eerie seeing it so quiet and empty so suddenly. I couldn’t see anyone, or here Twilight or Spike either. Had they just forgotten to lock the door? “Twilight? Spiiiike? You guys in here?” No response. I decided to grab the bottle and leave, so I headed across the room. As I approached it, I realised the door to Tom’s old room was ajar. My stomach did a back flip, I was sure I had shut it when I’d left the room. I reached out to pull the door open, but stopped at the sound of something. Heavy breathing? Singing? No neither, it was crying.

I opened the door quietly and looked into the dimly lit room, there was Twilight. She was sat on the bed, the pillow had been moved, and the bottle lay unopened on the covers before her. The magenta unicorn’s hooves were covering her eyes as she let out unrelenting sobs of agony. I couldn’t help but think ‘So she did care about him enough to cry.’ A terrible though I know, but I couldn’t help my brain making the connection I had been questioning for the past week.

As I looked on however I realised, those weren’t the same tears that Pinkie or any of the others had shed. Those were more like the tears I had cried every night since Tom’s passing. The tears of a Pony who has lost the one she loved. My heart panged with empathy for her, we were both in the same boat. And yet a slight annoyance also arose, we had been together for nearly a year, and yet Twilight was still taking his death this hard. Why didn’t she get over it? Why didn’t she move on? OR why didn’t she just tell me she still had feelings for him? Then I wouldn’t have acted so thoughtlessly around her. The annoyance then melted into sadness. My mind flashed with every kiss, every embrace me and Tom had shared in front of the unicorn. I felt terrible, she must have suffered so much heart break over the last eleven months because of me.

“Ummm... Twilight?” I asked almost breathlessly. The pony’s head snapped up, she saw me and sniffed loudly. Her hooves flew up to rub the tears away from her eyes.
“Oh, Rainbow. I thought you had gone with everyone else.” She sent me a beaming smile, and yet the look did the complete opposite of what she wanted. Her eyes were bloodshot, her mane was messy, and the bag’s under eyes showed this wasn’t the first night she’d spent crying.
“I...I came back to get something I forgot...” I sounded awkward, I FEALT awkward! It wasn’t like every other pony who had cried; who I could simply hug and cry with them. This was a pony who had loved the man I loved! Who knew if she even wanted to see me!

“Oh, I guess this was it huh?” She was being overly cheery, she floated the bottle over to me with her magic and I took it with my teeth. “I just found it when I came in here to...to...” She looked around hurriedly to find inspiration and when none came she looked back at me, her expression changing from one of false happiness to one of honest heartbreak. “I-I’m sorry Rainbow. I just came in here to, be where Tom used to be. You were all gone, I thought no one would come back so...so I just lay down here and I felt that.” She pointed to the bottle in my mouth. “Just seeing his name on there caught me by surprise, that’s all.”

I didn’t say anything, I knew what was coming, and like with me: It needed to come out or it would eat at her from the inside. The unicorn looked at me and knew I wasn’t buying her story. She tried to think her way out, but for once her intellect meant nothing. She looked into my pink eyes with her purple ones. “I...” she couldn’t say anything. “I...” her eyes began to brim with tears. “I...” she looked to the floor dejectedly, and the tears began to fall to the floor. “I’m sorry Rainbow Dash.”