The Flyer's License

by ScousePone

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash
Length: 3438

When Fluttershy reminds her about renewing her flyer's license, Dash's sanity is pushed to it's limits in the worst place in Equestria: The Department of Winged Equines

When Fluttershy reminds her about renewing her flyer's license, Dash's sanity is pushed to it's limits in the worst place in Equestria: The Department of Winged Equines.

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Published 2013-10-08 20:00:04 UTC
Last updated 2013-10-08 20:00:04 UTC

Chapter 1

Rainbow Dash soared through the air, performing dozens of dangerous acrobatics for her own enjoyment; just a regular day in her book. So far, everything was going perfectly and it was shaping up to be a great day, Dash just hoped her day would turn out the way she wanted it to. Normally, that wouldn’t be a problem but today Dash was going to show Fluttershy some flying tips and she knew all too well how Fluttershy dealt with pressure. The pony could barely muster up strength do to a proper cheer, so Rainbow doubted that she’d be able to do something as simple as a tight turn or a nosedive. Nonetheless, Rainbow would always be happy to help out a friend and more than eager to show off her skills; she just hoped Fluttershy would show the same eagerness to learn. Down below, Rainbow Dash spotted Fluttershy’s cottage and made her way towards it. Fluttershy’s animals ran for cover when Dash first landed, but they showed their faces again once they recognized the blue pegasus.

“Hiya guys,” she said as she trotted towards her friend’s door, giving it a couple of knocks with her hoof when she reached it. Shortly after, Fluttershy slowly opened the door but, upon seeing Rainbow Dash, swung it wide open.

“Hi, Dash! I should’ve known you’d be here ahead of schedule,” Fluttershy greeted with a smile.

“Heya, Fluttershy! Are you ready for some flying tips?” Dash asked, flapping her wings a few times as she talked.

“Oh, yes, definitely. Let me just get one thing,” Fluttershy went back into her home only to return a few seconds later with a headband placed on her head and sweatbands on all four of her legs. “Now I’m ready!” Fluttershy smiled.

Dash nodded and the two walked over to her favorite practicing spot. Fluttershy didn’t want to tire her wings out yet, even though the spot was less than five minutes away.

“You know, I’m really surprised that you want me to give you some tips on flying, Fluttershy,” Rainbow struck up conversation while they walked.

“Well, I just think I should put some more confidence in myself. Plus, I want to break my wingpower record. A five is good, but the speed demon in me wants to push for…five and a half!” Fluttershy said optimistically.

“Confidence is really important when it comes to being a talented flyer. In fact, it can make or break how you do!” Dash replied. “Speed’s a big mental thing too. As long as you think you can go faster, you will.”

Fluttershy listened intently and nodded after Dash’s every word. For a moment, she wondered if she should have brought a notepad along with her.

“Well, looks like we’re here. Ready for some flying?” Dash asked, extending her wings and giving them a good stretch.

“You bet, Rainbow!” Fluttershy smiled, doing a few stretches of her own.

The two pegasi continued to do some stretches; nothing was worse than cramping up when flying, Dash learned that the hard way. Once they had worked their joints enough, Dash started to give her lesson.

“All right, Fluttershy, pay close attention, because you’re getting tips from the master!” Dash boasted, though it was well justified. “First things first, always make sure you stretch before some serious flying, but you already know that. The next biggest thing would be…” she paused for a minute to think.

“Making sure you have your flyer’s license?” Fluttershy suggested.

Dash’s thinking stopped immediately.

“Flyer’s license?

“Yes, the license that every pegasus pony needs. You didn’t forget yours, did you Rainbow Dash?” Fluttershy asked.

“Of course not!” Dash quickly replied. She always carried her flyer’s license but, for some reason, She felt like there was something she needed to do with it.

“Could you, um, show me, if that’s okay?” Fluttershy wanted to make sure her friend wasn’t lying to her. Unfortunately, Rainbow Dash wasn’t as honest as some ponies, especially Applejack, hoped her to be.

Dash sighed and retrieved her license. She had it, just like she said, but there was one rather important flaw.

“Told you I had it! How could I forget my flyer’s license-”

“This is expired.”

Dash’s eyes shot wide in panic. “What do you mean expired?”

“It says you were supposed to renew this last month,” Fluttershy pointed her hoof to the license’s expiration date. Dash had been flying without a license for the past two months!

“That’s gotta be some sort of mistake! I could’ve sworn I just got this thing renewed,” Dash scratched her head. Did she even make an attempt to get her license renewed?

“You could still make a run to the DWE and get it renewed today. You’re fast enough to make it over there before most ponies too!” Fluttershy suggested.

“Can’t I just do it tomorrow?” Dash wanted to avoid the DWE at all costs.

“Rainbow, just do it now and get it out of the way! The faster you get over there, the faster you can get done and forget all about the license!” Fluttershy tried her best to cheer up her friend. She felt the same animosity towards the DWE as Dash did; every pegasus would be in agreement.

“I guess you’re right,” she sighed, very much annoyed that she would have to make an unwanted trip. “Guess I better get going.”

“Hope everything works out there!” Fluttershy prayed as she watched Dash gloomily lift off the ground and into the sky.

“Yeah, me too,” Dash huffed. She knew it was going to be a disaster; it always was.

The Department of Winged Equines was the last place a pegasus would want to find themselves. If you compiled a list of everything unpleasant about it onto a scroll, it would reach all the way to the moon and back, probably more than once. Rumors have spread around Cloudsdale that the DWE had driven a pony to the brink of insanity, just because it was so awful. Rainbow Dash may be able to avoid lightning during a storm or spinning out of control and plummeting to the ground, but she knew that she wouldn’t be able to avoid what the DWE had in store for her. As she approached the dreaded building, she could already see a line of disgruntled and annoyed pegasi; quite the omen for her.

Rainbow took her place in line behind a mumbling pegasus with a yellow mane and light pink coat. Dash couldn’t make out all of what she was saying, but she heard a few nasty words directed towards the DWE. Instead of standing there all awkwardly, she decided to make some conversation.

“So, how long have you been here?” Dash asked out loud, hoping the pony next to her would hear her.

The pegasus looked over at her with a very unpleasant look on her face. “Too long.”

Dash rubbed her neck awkwardly. Guess some nice conversation wasn’t going to happen today. As time passed, Rainbow just stood quietly in line, tapping her hoof on the ground as she continued to lose patience.

“When does this place even open?” she asked the pegasus once again.

“It’s been open since 7 in the morning. This is just the line to get your number,” the pegasus explained.

“You’re kidding me…” Rainbow Dash huffed. Hatred was beginning to spread through her veins like a virus.

After a long hour of waiting, Rainbow had finally made it inside the DWE, though the line hadn’t let up a bit. Dash, along with the other ponies that were waiting in line, thought it would be easier to just leave and come back another day, though she’d only encounter the same problem. Eventually, she reached a counter and was met by the expressionless eyes of the pony behind it.

“Welcome to the Department of Winged Equines, how may I help you today?” the pony asked in a monotone voice.

“Yeah, hi,” Dash replied in a fed up tone. “I’m here to renew my flyer’s license.”

“Okay,” the pony retrieved a clipboard that held a piece of paper on it. “Just fill this out and bring it back here.”

Dash took the clipboard and started to fill it out right there.

“Ma’am, you can’t fill that out here,” the pony behind the counter said.

“Why not?” Dash asked with a puzzled look.

“You’ll hold up the line.”

“The line? You take a step, like, every five minutes! I can fill this form out in 10 seconds flat!” the frustrated pegasus exclaimed.

“I’m sorry, ma’am, but you have to take a seat and fill out the form.”

“Fine, fine, whatever,” Dash groaned, stepped over to the main sitting area, which was full of irritated customers.

There weren’t many open spots, so Dash had to settle with sitting next to some elderly pegasus who seemed to never stop coughing. Rainbow tried her best to block him out as she filled out her form. All it required was basic information: sex, birthday, current address, etc.

“Excuse me, young miss?” the elderly pony next to her nudged her.

“Yeah?” Dash looked over at him.

“My sight ain’t what it used to be; what’s this form thingy saying?” the pony waved his clipboard in the air. Rainbow took a hold of it and read it over.

“All you gotta do is fill out your name, your birthday, and where you live,” she explained, handing the clipboard back to the pony.

“That’s a lot more complicated than it was back in my day!”

“I’m sure it is,” Dash faked a laugh, and then went back to filling out her form. She was just about to sign it when the elderly pony next to her nudged her again.

“Excuse me, young miss? What’s this form thingy saying?” he asked again.

Dash raised an eyebrow. “Didn’t you just ask me that?”

“My sight ain’t what it used to be.”

Rainbow just stared at her neighbor with an extremely confused look.

“Right, well…I gotta give them this form,” Rainbow told him as she rose out of her chair and returned to the clerk at the desk, shuffling between the crowded aisles to get there.

“There, my form’s all filled out,” Rainbow said while she slid the clipboard towards the clerk.

“Ma’am, you have to be in line to turn in your form,” the monotone clerk explained.

“I was already in line for a billion years. Just take my form now, what’s the big deal?” Rainbow asked.

“Ma’am, would you please get in line?”

“Would you please take my form?” Dash spat back. The clerk just stared back at her, blinking once or twice. Dash rolled her eyes and sighed. “All right, where’s this stupid line start anyways?”

The clerk raised his hoof and pointed the back corner of the room. Another outrageously large line snaked its way from the corner to Dash’s current position. Rainbow’s jaw dropped.

“Not again,” she gritted her teeth in anger.

Once again, Rainbow Dash was stuck standing in an incredibly unnecessary line. She cursed herself for not bringing something to help make the time go by faster; the latest entry in the Daring Do series would’ve made this whole trip worth it. For a second, she imagined how her favorite hero would’ve handled the DWE. She wondered if even Daring could handle it.

When Rainbow had finally reached the end of the line, a different clerk was awaiting her. This time, it was a rather hideous mare who most likely didn’t even want to be working there right now.

“Whaddya need?” the mare asked nastily.

“Um, I finished this form,” Dash replied, shocked at the employee’s behavior.

“And what do you want me to do about it?” the mare folded her arms.

“Well, you could start be being nicer and then take my form,” Rainbow replied, not wanting to put up with the clerk’s attitude.

The clerk huffed and snatched away Dash’s form. After looking it over for a moment, she handed her a card with the number 237 on it.

“What’s this?” Rainbow asked as she took the card.

“It’s your number. When you hear your number, you go to the main desk in the front and they’ll assist you,” the clerk explained as if it were a chore.

“Oh, all right. Thanks,” Dash replied walking away. Personally, she didn’t think the clerk deserved a thank you, but she wanted to show manners won’t kill you.

Dash walked back to the seating area, making sure not to sit next to that elderly pony again. Instead, she sat in the back by the pamphlets and literature; a little reading could make time go by just that much quicker seeing that the DWE was only serving number 48, whoever that lucky pony was. The first pamphlet Dash picked up was about the dangers of drinking and flying. Inside, they had a rather hilarious picture of a pegasus in an obvious fake cast, a little speech bubble appeared next to him saying “I should’ve had a designated flyer”. Instructors at Flight Camp used to give out flyers like that all the time and they were always awfully done. After reading it, she tossed it aside and picked up another one. This pamphlet actually interested her a bit since it was about the Wonderbolts. It gave some history on them and a few fun facts about its members, though she already knew everything there was to know about them. On the back, there was an outdated schedule of the Wonderbolts’ performances.

“That’s pretty lame,” Dash huffed disappointingly. What she wouldn’t do to ditch the DWE and go see the Wonderbolts right now.

Just before she was about to reach for another pamphlet, two young pegasi sat down next to her.

“Man, I just want to take my Weather Patrol test. I’ve been studying all week and I want to get it over with!” one of the pegasi said.

“I just want to pay the fine I got. I swear that I didn’t see a speed limit sign,” the other said.

Dash went back to reading the pamphlets, but the consistent yammering of the pegasi next to her made it difficult to concentrate. They must’ve talked about every topic that’s possible: their crushes, how awful the other one was at flying, and a whole collection of crude and inappropriate subjects. Rainbow kept on trying to read, but found it near impossible when one of them brought up the newest Daring Do book that she had yet to read. The two talked about the plot in great detail; Dash wasn’t the happiest pony.

“The best part was definitely the ending though. The way Daring went back the village with that stone and all those fillies was, like, the coolest thing ever!” spoiled one of them; it was the last straw..

“For the love of Celestia, shut up! I mean, seriously, do you ever stop talking?” Dash yelled.

Both pegasi looked back at her with curious eyes.

“I’ve been trying to read about why I should keep my wings in great condition, but you’ve just been yapping and yapping for the past forever!” she continued ruthlessly.

“Um, we didn’t mean to”

“And then you spoiled the newest Daring Do for me!” Dash threw her pamphlet down onto the ground in frustration. “What did I do to deserve this!?” she pleaded.

The pegasi next to her looked at each other and then made what was the best decision of their lives. Quickly, they left Dash and went and sat somewhere else. Dash let out a sigh of relief and then regained her composure. When she looked up at to see what number was being served, she almost lost it once again. Number 49.

“Are you kidding me?” Dash whined.

For the next hour and a half, she sat with her arms folded, trying her hardest not to lose her mind. Of course it seemed that every pegasus in Equestria would go to the DWE today, the day Rainbow Dash was there. It wasn’t the waiting that made Rainbow so angry, but all the noise and annoyances around here. Everywhere she looked, there’d be another pegasus flapping their gums, sneezing and coughing, and just being a complete and total bother. Right in front of her was an overly obese pegasus with a tiny foal that just didn’t ever stop crying.

“Ya’ll hush up now!” she’d shout at the foal, which only made it cry harder.

Dash rubbed her temples, praying that her number would be called soon. Another hour later, number 237 was finally called, and not a moment too soon: her sanity was about to slip.

“Welcome to the DWE, what do you need?” the pegasus behind the front desk asked. This one was a combination of the last two: monotone, but with a bad attitude.

“All I want to do is just renew my flyer’s license,” Dash replied, hoping she wouldn’t have to hop through another hoop.

“Did you fill out your information sheet?”

“Yes, I filled out every one of your stupid forms! Can I just renew my license now?” Rainbow Dash begged.

The clerk rolled her eyes and let out a groan. Dash could’ve kicked her in the face right then and there. Rainbow waited, again, while the clerk searched through the stacks of folders on the counter. Before she was about to ask her to hurry up, the clerk pulled out her forms and looked over them.

“Are you here to renew your Ponyville Weather Patrol license?” the clerk inquired.

“No, just my regular flyer’s license,” Dash replied. If there was something wrong, she couldn't be held accountable for what she might do.

“You mean the flyer’s license that every pegasus needs to fly?”

“Yes, the only other license you need,” Dash retorted, getting rather concerned about another stupid issue.

“I’m sorry ma’am, but you can’t do that.”

Dash’s eyes shot wide and she almost erupted into a fit of rage. “I can’t do that? What...you’re gonna tell me that, after I sat here for a bajillion hours waiting to renew my license, that I can’t do it? You better have a good reason,” Rainbow spoke, her voice raising with every word.

“You can’t renew your flyers license because you don’t have to,” the clerk replied, her voice louder than Dash’s. Heads were beginning to turn towards their way.

“What?” Dash’s voice diminished greatly in volume.

“Didn’t you know? Canterlot passed a law earlier this year where you no longer have to renew your flyer’s license, only a Weather Patrol license,” the clerk informed.

“…what?” Dash squeaked.

“Guess it was pretty stupid in the first place, making a pegasus carry a license to do what they were born to do, huh?”

Rainbow Dash didn’t say a word, only looking at the ground.

“I reorganized all those books you wanted me to Twilight. Need anything else done?” Spike chirped happily.

Twilight looked over the library, extremely satisfied with her assistant’s work. “Great job, Spike! You can take the rest of the day off if you want,” Twilight smiled, immediately pulling a book from her collection.

“Thanks, Twilight! A day off, huh? Maybe I’ll go pay Rarity a visit!” a daydream of Rarity confessing her love to Spike played through the dragon’s imaginative head.

“Good luck, Romeo,” Twilight chuckled, rolling her eyes playfully.

Spike was just about to open the door when it flung open, slamming him up against the wall.

“Twilight!” the voice of Rainbow Dash called.

“Hi, Rainbow? What brings you here?” Twilight asked, setting the newest Daring Do novel down.

“Spike. Letter. Now,” the pegasus demanded.

“He just left, you might’ve missed him!”

Twilight’s front door closed and Spiked fell off the wall, groaning as he rubbed his bruised head. “Okay, love might hurt, but I don’t think I deserved that,” Spike murmured.

“Oh, there he is! You made it here just in time then!” Twilight smiled.

“Spike, I need to write a letter to Celestia,” Dash bulleted over towards the baby dragon.

Spike continued to groan in discomfort, but pulled out a quill and scroll.

“Did you learn a lesson about friendship for the princess?” Twilight was eager to know what her friend had learned.

“Oh yeah, I learned a great lesson; I definitely got something to say to the princess!” Rainbow Dash said sarcastically.

Once she had written her letter, Dash left in a quite the hurry, not even staying to chat with her friend for a bit. A little after Rainbow was gone, Spike had received Princess Celestia’s reply.

Rainbow Dash,

Wow

Princess Celestia