Strange New World

I – Of All the Places to Crash…

 Kat rubbed his head with a groan. Looking around, he saw that everyone else was slowly recovering from the crash. David was doing the same, unclipping his safety webbing. Mercedes had already unclipped herself, and was currently stretching. Adria sat still as a stone in her pilot seat.

 “That was a bumpy ride,” he said, fumbling for the clip. “Everybody okay?”

 “My systems are at 95% efficiency.” Adria swiveled to face him. “We have landed in a swamp,” she added, answering Kat’s next question. “Fortunately, there is enough solid ground that we will not have to, as the phrase goes, ‘get our feet wet’.”

 “Great. I hate the water.” Kat stood up, having freed himself from the tangled webbing, and immediately hit his head on the ceiling. “Ow.”

 He managed to walk carefully over to the exit, a mean feat given the chaos in the escape pod. Stuff from the armoury was scattered throughout the pod, making it a gamble on whether you’d find metal flooring or pieces of a weapon underneath you. Grabbing onto a handrail, Kat punched the “OPEN” button. With a hiss, the door to the pod slid open.

 Kat stepped outside, and shielded his eyes against the glare of the rising sun. He surveyed the landscape, turning his head slowly. It was less of a swamp and more of a bog. Stagnant water surrounded them, and dirt paths ran along the water’s edge. Glancing back, he noticed that they had landed in a pool of water. Luckily, it was shallow and they had struck bottom quickly. The water had boiled away from the heat of the impact, leaving only the melting coolant the pod had sprayed over itself.

 “It looks like it’s safe, guys,” he called out.

 Within a few minutes, everyone had exited the pod. They set all the equipment down on the ground.

 “We need to do a quick inventory,” Mercedes said. “There’s no point in going off without knowing what we have.”

 Nodding, Kat sat down Indian-style by the stuff and started picking up random pieces of it.

 “Well, we’ve got about… sixteen clips of ammunition for the pistols,” he said.

 “They’re called magazines,” Mercedes said with an expression that read “What a plebian”.

 Kat stuck his tongue out at her, and pocketed four magazines for himself. Looking back down at the pile, he picked up a nice-looking assault rifle. “There’s an assault rifle here,” he said, stating the obvious. “I don’t see any clips for it though.”

 She shot him an irritated look, and snatched the rifle out of his hands. “That’s because I have the magazines. What about food?”

 “There are eight packs of MRE’s,” Adria said, collecting them in a pile away from the rest of the equipment.

 “MRE’s?” Kat frowned, mulling the acronym over in his head.

 “Meals Ready to eat, but they’re more like MRR’s,” Mercedes said. “Meals Ready to Regurgitate.”

 “There’s a couple mineral scanners and a general scanner over here.” David held up the scanners.

“That’ll be good for when I pan for gold. Is there anything useful?” Kat asked.

 “The general scanner, yeah. It can pick up almost anything. Energy sources, lifeforms. The mineral scanners might be useful for spare parts.”

 “I have removed the communications equipment from the pod and assembled a portable version,” Adria added.

 “And I’ve got a couple charging platforms and four rechargeable power packs in case we need to switch functions on our pistols,” Mercedes finished. “I think we’re about set here. David, can you find–”

 “Woah, sister,” Kat said, standing up. “Who decided you could give orders?”

“In case you haven’t noticed, I’m the only person with military experience. The rest of you are either moronic stowaways, science officers, or androids.”

 “I’m moronic now. I think she likes me,” he said with a wink at David. “But you’re wrong. I should be giving the orders. There’s an old saying, ‘He who was the sword gives orders’.”

 “Oh yeah? Well here’s an older saying: ‘Fu–’”

 “Hey!” David snapped. Both of them stopped arguing and turned towards him, eyes wide at his outburst. “Look, just let Kat be the leader if he’s so bent on it. If he screws things up too bad, then  you can take command. Does that seem okay?”

 Kat nodded, and so did Mercedes.

 “Now then,” Kat said. “My first command as leader of this group is this: Stay here cause I gotta take a mean pee break.”

 “Oh, god,” muttered Mercedes, covering her face with a hand. “Just shoot me now.”

 “Shooting you now would only cause harm to you.” Adria tilted her head like a confused puppy. “I don’t understand why you would want us to shoot you.”

***

 A forest began only a couple hundred yards away, so Kat made a beeline for it. Stopping at its edge, he looked around to make sure he was clear out of sight. The others still stood by the smoking wreckage of the pod. He couldn’t be sure, but it looked like Mercedes was saying something, judging from the movements of her arms.

Wonder why girls always move their arms a lot when they talk.

 He unzipped himself, and started peeing. Whistling a tune, he looked deep into the forest. He’d never seen a forest before. Also, he’d never seen a swamp either, but the forest was more impressive.

 Irritated, he looked down. There was still a steady stream of urine. “Geez, what did I drink?”

 Something moved in the underbrush. Kat’s gaze shot up. Something was coming closer.

 His hand automatically went to his side. He winced as he remembered he had left his sword and his pistol at the crash site.

 The thing crashed out of the forest, dangerously close to Kat’s favourite part of his body.

 He did the only natural thing that came to mind.

 He screamed at the top of his lungs.

II – Base-Four

 The sound of Kat screaming made everyone perk up. Leaving their stuff behind, they ran at full speed to where he had disappeared.

 David wasn’t doing too well at the running thing. On the ship, he was fine. Its artificial gravity was close to Mars-standard. But here the gravity was closer to Earth-standard, making it hard on his small frame. He was winded only by the time they reached Kat.

 He noticed that Mercedes wasn’t doing too hot either. She was also panting and tired from the brief run.

 Looking back at Kat, he saw that the wannabe samurai had his mouth slack open as he stared at something in the underbrush.

 David peeked around Kat and saw probably the strangest thing ever. There was a small, purple horse-like creature with a horn and wings standing with wide eyes in the brush. On its back was a purple-and-green lizard-like creature. Saddlebags hung from the horse’s side, and they had a stylized star printed on them.

 “I thought it’d be bigger,” said Mercedes with a sly grin.

 Kat whipped his head towards her and zipped up his pants in one swift motion. “Hey! It – I – hey!”

 She winked at him and turned towards the horse. “What is that? And what’s with the cute little lizard on its back?”

 “Isn’t that a unicorn?” Kat asked. “I thought there was something about them and virgins.”

 “Yeah. And it came to you.” Mercedes’ grin just grew bigger.

“Hey! I – you – hey!”

 David rolled his eyes and shot a glance at Adria, who just shrugged.

 The horse – or unicorn, or whatever you wanted to call it – looked at Kat and Mercedes and neighed loudly.

 “That is legitimately terrifying coming out of that little thing,” Kat said.

 The unicorn took a step forward, grabbed Kat’s hand with its front hooves, and began to investigate it. It whinnied a few times to itself, and the lizard on its back yawned.

 “Maybe they’re, like, symbiotic, or something.”

 “What was that?” Mercedes asked, looking at David with a bemused expression.

 “The, uh, unicorn and the lizard. He’s perched on her back. Maybe to compensate for lesser eyesight, the unicorn allows it to sit on her back and scout for danger in return for letting it eat the parasites in her fur.”

 Adria chimed in. “This seems likely. However, it must be assumed that one of them is more sapient than the other. From my observations, the unicorn – for lack of a better name – is, being that it is currently investigating Mister Mafune’s hands. The lizard being is very passive, and is likely a pet of some kind.”

 “It could just be dumb,” Kat said. “Like, maybe it heard the crash and was so dumb it waltzed up to see what was going on instead of running away.”

 “That is not likely. It is very closely examining your hands. It would not be doing that without reason. It can therefore be inferred that there is some degree of intelligence.”

 Kat just rolled his eyes.

 “Well there’s one way to find out,” David said. “We can try math. It’s the universal language, or so they say.”

 “Indeed,” Adria agreed. “However, we should note that there is a high probability that they do not use base ten.”

 “Base ten?” Kat asked.

“Humans use base ten for math. We have ten fingers,” said David, waggling his fingers. “They don’t have fingers at all, except the lizard. I think they’d probably use base four because they have four legs.”

 The unicorn let go of Kat’s hand and set its front hooves on the ground. It tilted its head back and neighed. The lizard said something in a strange language back to it. Adria cocked her head like a puppy as the unicorn responded.

“There is a language underneath the typical sounds of a horse,” she said. “The lizard being spoke, and when I fully applied of my translator cortices I could hear the same language.”

 “So then we can translate their languages with our implants?” Mercedes asked, rubbing her throat where it had been implanted.

 “I can. You cannot. We would require a permanent link to the ship brain to do so. I have a connection, but can only receive signals, not transmit. There is too much interference from the strange energy readings on the planet’s surface.”

 “Hang on,” Kat said, holding his hands up. “Energy readings? What energy readings? When were you planning on springing this on us?”

 “Apologies.” Adria sounded genuinely sorry, which was strange for an android. “It is easy for me to forget that not all of us are privy to the same information. Captain Bates ordered us to stop at this planet because of unusual energy spikes from the planet’s surface. It resembles the energy from Archonite used for powering both starships and battle frames. Shall I pause to inform you of Archonite ore?”

 They all shook their heads. They knew about the strange ore found on Mars and other planets in the solar system. It was missing from Earth, which was deemed one of the biggest scientific mysteries of the Twenty-Sixth Century.

“Captain Bates believed that there was a rich vein of Archonite below the planet’s surface and was going to establish a small base camp to discover if we could safely mine for it. However, given the presence of possible sentience or sapient life, there will likely be no mining unless granted permission by the inhabitants.”

 “Well that explains the mining gear in that cargo bay I got dragged out of,” Kat said, lowering his hands. “So this whole thing was a smokescreen to find alternate sources of Archonite?”

 Adria inclined her head. “Indeed. Captain Bates and Commander Stein hoped to keep it a secret from the crew.”

 “Wouldn’t people get suspicious that every planet we stumble across happen to have Archonite?” David asked.

 “Possibly.” Adria turned towards him. “The goal would have been to indoctrinate the crew into believing that Archonite is more common than we think. However, reports from deep space probes have revealed that Archonite is one of the rarest minerals. Any planet on our path that harboured even the slightest hint of Archonite would have been planned stops for Yamato. Our sister ships, Enterprise and Defiant had the same orders.”

 Mercedes let out a low swear, causing the unicorn to cock her head slightly and take a few steps towards her. “We all got suckered, didn’t we?”

 “That would appear to be the case,” Adria replied, lowering her head even further. She didn’t appear very pleased with the situation. “I apologise for keeping this from you. I had orders from Captain Bates. However, with his death and the election of Mister Mafune as leader, I feel those orders are void.”

 “So if Archonite is so rare, why does our solar system have so much of it? Are we just winners of a galactic lottery?” Kat crossed his arms.

 “I cannot say. The odds for sapience evolving in a star system with extremely large amounts of Archonite are astronomically small. The odds for sapience evolving in two separate star systems with large amounts of Archonite are even smaller. And the odds of three sapient species evolving in star systems with large amounts of Archonite are infinitesimally small.”

 “So we, the Androsi, and possibly these horses are all winners of the cosmic jackpot?” Kat again.

 “Yes. Though, if they are sapient, the ‘horses’ are by far the jackpot winners. Ship brain identified as much Archonite on this planet as there is in the entire human solar system.”

 Kat whistled, and David’s eyes widened in surprise. If that was true, they could be standing over Archonite right now! The very concept made him a little light-headed. The closest he’d been to Archonite was watching teachers perform experiments on Archonite deemed to impure to power even small tugboats.

 “We’re getting way off track,” interrupted Mercedes. “Translating and getting signals to Yamato. How do we get both done?”

 “Translating is easy. I will simply need the aid of the lizard-being. It speaks the pure language, untouched by any of the sounds created by equine physiology. After I have spent enough time with it, I will be able to communicate however roughly with the unicorn.

 “Signals are harder. I will require a very high mountain in a high-energy area. Depending on the state of the ship, I will need to get a direct line to the ship brain. Anything else might be picked up by the Androsi, if they are still aboard. I doubt this last part, but it is still possible. I did not see suitable peaks when we crash-landed.”

 “Back up. Why don’t you think there are Androsi aboard the Yamato?” Kat asked.

 “When we launched, the last thing I heard from ship brain was that it had launched a warhead at the Androsi light cruiser we had engaged. Due to their arrogance, they had not activated any type of defences. The damage done by a class-three warhead would cripple them, and they would call back any shocktroopers still aboard Yamato to assist with repairs.”

 David was trying his best to ignore this. During Adria’s explanation of what she needed to do, he had broken off a stick from a nearby tree and was sketching out a mathematical equation in the mud. The unicorn noticed what he was doing and trotted over.

 It stared at the equation for a moment before extending its hoof. David frowned, trying to figure out what it wanted. He couldn’t tell, but he decided to take a stab at it. He extended his hand and shook the hoof. The unicorn frowned in return, and shook its head, jabbing its hoof in the direction of the stick.

 David offered it the stick, and a strange violet aura wrapped around both the stick and the horse’s horn. He stumbled back with a loud swear, causing his companions to spin towards him and the lizard fell off the horse’s back into the mud.

 “Is… is it lifting that stick without hands?” Kat asked, rubbing his forehead in complete confusion.

 “It appears to have psychic powers.” Adria leaned in to look closer at the horn.

“I hope it can’t read my mind.”

 “I hope nothing can read your mind,” Mercedes quipped. “Who knows what horrors lurk there?”

 The unicorn scrawled a number in the mud, and looked up at David with a proud grin. David crouched down to peer at the solution. He blinked in surprise. It was right! The unicorn had solved the speed-of-light equation in only a few seconds.

Time to try something harder, he thought. This time he sketched out the equation for judging the power of a shard of Archonite.

 Once again, the unicorn solved it in only a few seconds. David whistled. It had taken him hours to solve the Archonite equation when he had been given it in the academy. And even then, he had been the quickest to solve. The fact that the unicorn had solved it so quickly was staggering.

 “Impressive,” Adria said, crossing her arms. “But perhaps due to Archonite’s commonality here, they devised that formula earlier than we did.”

 “I guess,” David said. “Any ideas on how to learn the language?”

 “As I stated earlier, I will require the aid of the lizard-being. Speaking of this…” Adria took a few steps over to the horse, and extended her arms towards the lizard. It shrugged in a very human way.

 Adria waggled her fingers in a way that reminded David of when he would try to convince the academy cat to hop in his arms. The lizard seemed to get the hint, allowing himself to be picked up. Adria held him at arm’s length away from her face.

 “Speak,” she commanded.

 The lizard said something, taking a wary glance back at the unicorn. It just waved him on with a hoof. David was surprised at how… human the aliens seemed. Sure, Androsi were more human-looking, but they still had a strange, feral nature to them that changed how they moved, how they acted. But not with these creatures.

 With a very high chirp, the lizard wiggled its way out of Adria’s grip and went plummeting down to the ground, splattering mud all over her.

“That is not beneficial to either of us,” she said, picking the lizard back up. “I require more examples of your language. While I understand you cannot understand me, I hope you will provide more samples.”

 The lizard squeaked something out at the unicorn, who brayed in response. A low rumble cut through the two’s talking. Everyone looked up of one accord, seeing thunderclouds sweeping in.

 The unicorn neighed, and gestured at the gang of humans. When they just stared blankly at it, it stamped its hooves and gestured at a path into the forest.

 “I believe it wants us to follow it,” Adria said, placing the lizard on her shoulders. It put up a little bit of resistance, but once she set it down, it said something and relaxed. “There is an eighty-five percent chance it wants to lead us to shelter from the rain.”

 “What about the other fifteen?” Kat asked.

 “Fourteen point five percent is relegated to possible inability to understand its motives entirely. Point five percent is that it might be leading us into the forest to kill us.”

 “Oh, joy.”

III – Ponyville

 Twilight looked back at the creatures. They were following her; Spike perched on the pale one’s shoulders. They were strange things, tall and gangly like a diamond dog. They seemed smarter and infinitely nicer than diamond dogs, however.

 She had been wary of them at first, but once they had proven to be nonthreatening, she had warmed up to them. The pale one grabbing Spike had set off some alarm bells, but since it had acted like it was trying to communicate had made her relax again. Twilight still had some doubts, but given her status as a princess, she had decided to give them a shot.

 After all, if she didn’t give these aliens a chance, who would?

 The incident with the math still made Twilight confused. The first equation, the speed of light had puzzled her for a few moments before she remembered the solution. But the second they had acted like it was much harder, when in fact it was easier. Starswirl’s Law of Magic Levels was taught in Magic Kindergarten, for goodness’s sake!

 She shook her head with a laugh. What kind of backwards aliens thought that was a hard math problem?

***

 It took a few hours to reach Ponyville, during which time the rain started. Twilight kept her head ducked, as did the aliens. At times, they would murmur to themselves in their strange babble. Twilight tried to make sense of it but so far she could understand nothing.

 Spike kept up a steady stream of talk at her prompting, telling the aliens all about Ponyville and how much they’d like it there. The pale one seemed very interested and would occasionally interject in its own tongue. Despite the language barrier, it paid quite a lot of attention to Spike. Twilight could only figure that it found Spike cute, or just scientifically curious.

 When they did reach Ponyville, it was practically deserted due to the storm. Twilight made sure they were following her, and ran to the library, holding the door open for them. Once they had all stumbled in, she shut it and began pacing.

 “Think, Twilight, think. How can you communicate with them? There must be a spell to bridge this language gap…”

 She ran over to a shelf, and started digging through the books, searching for a spellbook.

 “No need,” came a thickly accented, flat voice. “I learn language. Rough. Can speak bit.”

 Twilight turned, mouth agape. The pale one had set Spike down, and was speaking. “Am Adria.” She gestured to each of the aliens in turn. “Katagiri. David. Mercedes.”

 Twilight repeated the names, rolling the unfamiliar syllables on her tongue. “I am Twilight Sparkle. Pleased to meet you.”

 Adria turned to the others and said something quickly. The short one in the sweater – Katagiri? – replied.

 “We too pleased,” Adria said, turning back to face her. “We… we have… no, we have error.” She pointed upwards. “Come from far star. Bad attacks. We land here, escape. Need go back. Need high place.”

 Twilight frowned. From what she could understand, the aliens had encountered some kind of trouble in space and had crash-landed. They wanted to go home, but they needed to go somewhere high for whatever reason.

 “Why do you need a high place?”

 “Magic hurt talk-machine. Talk-machine better high place. No –” she said something that Twilight couldn’t quite understand, but it sounded vaguely like leylines.

 Some sort of machine was damaged and needed a higher place? “A talk-machine… Like a telegraph?”

 Adria’s mouth curled down at the corners. A frown? “Telegraph. Yes. Very much so.”

 So, they needed a high place to use their telegraph so they could find a way out of Equestria. Interesting. They didn’t seem too curious about her anymore. They just wanted to go home. Twilight could understand that. Many times during her studies in Canterlot had she wanted to go home, and even those first few days in Ponyville she’d dreamt of home.

 But where could she find a high mountain that was above the leylines?

 “I’m going to ask my teacher about your dilemma. Hopefully she’ll respond in a timely manner.”

 Adria nodded, and turned to speak to her friends. While this was going on, Twilight quickly narrated a letter to Spike. Spike jotted everything down, quicker than Twilight had ever seen. Hopefully it wasn’t full of errors like the last quick letter he had to write, back when the hydra laid eggs in the mayor’s garden.

 The door swung open with a jingle of the bell, and Twilight turned towards it. All five of her close friends were piling in, and rarity was in the middle of saying something.

 “-oh, there you are, dear. Cloudkicker came by earlier, saying you ran off to the forest with Spike. And then she came back and said you had these… strange creatures in tow…” Rarity’s voice trailed off as she caught sight of the aliens. “What are they?”

 Twilight opened her mouth to answer, but she realised that she didn’t know what they were. She hadn’t thought to ask, being too busy trying to help them. She was about to say “I don’t know” when Adria interrupted.

 “They are hew-mons,” she said with a gesture towards the others. “I am android.” Then she reintroduced her and the rest to the ponies.

 “Hew-mon,” Twilight repeated, running her tongue along the name. A strange name for strange beings.

 For the first time, she noticed the black objects that hung from the hips of each of the hew-mons. Not to mention the one in the sweater – Katagiri, she reminded herself – had a sword as well. It made her uncomfortable, ears pinning back. She kicked herself for not noticing the weapons before. What kind of hew-mons were they that they needed weapons? Twilight hoped her friends wouldn’t notice.

 “Oh, it’s pointing at me! Why ever would it do that?” Rarity asked, pointing back at Katagiri. “And it’s got awful clothing on. Just look at that ratty old sweater.”

 Rainbow Dash flew up to Katagiri, and placed a hoof on his chest. “Look here, bozo, why are you pointing at my friend like that?”

 Katagiri just looked over at Mercedes and said something before raising his sword. Twilight felt her breath catch. Then, very slowly, he poked Dash with the sheathed tip and shoved her out of reach.

 “Look, girls,” Twilight interjected before Dash could attempt to try something else dumb. “They’re just looking for a way home. I told them we – I could help.” She then proceeded to give the short version of Adria’s story, leaving out the part about them being from space. She ended with, “I just sent a letter to Princess Celestia asking for help. I’m going to help them unless she has a good reason not to.”

 “Well,” said Applejack, “I guess if’n you trust ‘’em, so should we. They don’t seem all that dangerous anyway.”

 Twilight nodded, thinking of the weapons they carried. But they hadn’t used them yet, and they’d had many opportunities so far. “I think the rain’s stopped,” she said. “Girls, you should head home and wait for Princess Celestia’s letter to arrive. Then we can get back together and draw up a plan.”

 “Hold on a sec, Twi!” Rainbow Dash landed nearby and her face bore an unpleasant expression. “We can’t just leave you here alone with them. Sure, they might look nice, but who knows?”

 “I think she’s right,” added Fluttershy. “When I was taking care of that poor, hurt ocelot, I made sure to have somepony else with me whenever I was near him just to be safe.”

 “Good point, Fluttershy. Alright, Rainbow Dash, you can stay here with me for a while. They shouldn’t be too much trouble. And Pinkie Pie – no welcoming party. If the townsfolk didn’t take well to Zecora, they definitely won’t take well to hew-mons.” Twilight added.

 Dash nodded, and the others left with farewells.

At least, I hope they won’t be too much trouble.

IV – Never Have I Ever

 “How about a game?” Kat asked, leaning back in his chair.

 Mercedes looked at him, disbelief flooding in. He seemed completely unflappable. “A game? Right now? You’ve gotta be joking. In case you haven’t noticed, we’re in a weird horse-library in a tree.”

 “Nah, bro, nah. I noticed. Straight from the horse’s mouth: they gotta wait for Princess whatever to get back to them. While we’re waiting, we should do something. Like get to know each other better.” Kat shrugged. “Just a suggestion, babe.”

 “Alright, I’m game for a game. Though it depends on what kind. This isn’t the ‘slowly get naked’ kind, is it?” Mercedes leaned forward.

 “Alas, it is not. It’s called ‘Never Have I Ever.’ ”

 “I’ve heard of that one. We don’t have drinks though.”

 Kat held up his field thermos of water and shook it. “This thing has plenty of water, and if I recall, it can sterilise too.”

 Mercedes shrugged, and set her bag on the table, rummaging through it for her own thermos.

 “Five fingers of water,” Kat ordered, popping the cup-slash-lid off his thermos. “Which means five questions. If you’ve done something, you drink. If you haven’t, you don’t drink. If you ask a question and the other person doesn’t drink, you have to drink.”

 “Alright,” Mercedes said, pouring out the proper amount. “Who starts?”

 “I will.” Kat held up his cup and clinked it together with Mercedes’. “Never have I ever… hmm, let’s go with this. Never have I ever had an embarrassing musical obsession.”

 Mercedes took a drink. “I used to be into trash-stomp. Those were dark days.”

 “I stick to classical stuff myself,” Kat said, a little flushed. “I, uh, listen to what they used to call cowboy music.”

 Mercedes arched an eyebrow. “What’s that?”

 “Folksy songs about riding the open plains and stuff. Nowadays it’s about lone freighter pilots shipping stuff. I like the old, old stuff better.”

 “It’s my turn right? Alright, never have I ever kissed someone.”

 Kat smiled and sat there. Mercedes sighed, and took a swig of water.

 “How very sad.”

 “Says the also kissless man.”

 “Touché. Never have I ever killed another human being.” Kat fingered his drink. “So obviously Androsi don’t count.”

 Mercedes took another sip of water.

 This time it was Kat’s turn to arch an eyebrow. “Really?”

 She nodded. “It was back on Capricorn Station. I grew up on the bad side of town – as if there were any other sides. It was going into night cycle, and my younger sister and I were on our way home from… God, I don’t even remember what.

 “Since it was getting dark, I decided to take a shortcut down a few alleyways. I was used to it, but she wasn’t. Then somebody hit me from behind. I saw him when I got back up just a few seconds later. He was fat, and he sorta smelled like onions.

 “He was trying to pin Lacey down. I did the only thing that came to mind. There was a broken pipe nearby. He dropped it after hitting me with it. So, I picked it up, snuck up behind the bastard, and started hitting him. I just kept hitting him, and hitting him, and hitting him. His head was caved in by the time I finished.

 “We ran after that. A few hours later, the police showed up. When they heard our side of the story, they gave me an offer – either I’d have my juvenile record sealed at the cost of a few months of community service or I could join the military until I was twenty-one and have my records wiped. The first was pretty much a death sentence, and the second was just a way to get me off-world. See, on Capricorn, anyone whose records are sealed are pretty much ignored. God only knows what they’ve done, y’know?

 “So I took the military offer. That was four years ago.”

 Kat had nothing to say to that. He simply downed the rest of his water. “I think we’re done with that game,” he said in a quiet tone.

 Mercedes glanced over at Adria and David. The two had stopped in their examination of the horse’s books to listen. When they saw her looking their way, they snapped back to their work.

 A low rumble echoed from outside. Mercedes perked up. It didn’t sound like thunder, not exactly. For one, it sounded lighter. And secondly, it continued instead of trailing off like thunder. It sounded almost like a ship.

 “Do you hear that?” she asked.

 Adria paused and looked up from her readings. “An engine. Fairly close. The harmonics are unfamiliar to me. Definitely not a ship from Yamato.”

 “Do you think it’s the Androsi?” David asked.

 “Who else could it be? The only other aliens aside from them and the horses we know of are the Ylen, and they don’t usually come around this part of the galactic rim.” Mercedes looked over at Kat. “We need to get out there and set up for if they are Androsi. We’ll need high ground to start. I’ll get on the balcony of the tree – it seems like there’s plenty of coverage there for the rest of the town.

 “Kat, you should set up by the fountain in the centre of town. Figure out what angle they’ll approach from and get on the other side and start shooting when you see them.

 “David, Adria, you two stick to the back alleys. Try to flank them when they show up.”

 “Hold on, lady. I’m in command here, not you,” said Kat. He put his hands on his hips dramatically. “Okay guys, here’s the plan.

 “Do exactly what she said.”

 Mercedes smiled, and inclined her head. The next moment, she was running up the stairs, unslinging her sniper rifle.

 “Oh wait, Kat. You’ll need this!” She tossed the assault rifle down to him, along with a couple magazines. He caught the rifle, but missed the magazines. She laughed, and continued on her way up.

 Flinging open the doors to the balcony at the top of the tree, she climbed up and rolled into a prone position, pulling the final piece of the folding rifle out to its full position.

 The town’s streets were empty, and lights from within the houses shone on the slick cobblestone. She saw her three companions exit the library. Kat slipped on the stone, but recovered into a nice-looking slide over to the fountain.

 A gentle wind rocked her from side-to-side. She was up higher than she initially thought. Licking her lips, she turned her gaze to the sky. There, in the clouds, was a violet glow. The clouds soon parted to reveal what looked like two upswept wings covering the top of a bicycle seat. An Androsi air-to-surface shuttle.

 Taking out a magazine of high-power Archonite-tipped rounds, Mercedes snapped it into place. Her aim drifted towards the shuttle’s engines. There – just above the exhaust port! Her tongue sticking out of her mouth in extreme concentration, Mercedes feathered the trigger and ejected the casing. Quickly taking aim again, she fired at the support strut connecting the wing to the “bicycle seat”. Ejecting the next casing, she took another shot at the strut.

 All in all, two out of three shots connected. Her last strut shot had missed entirely. The Archonite tipped bullets did their job though – there were large holes where they had struck. Smoke began to pour out of the engine. With luck, the damage was high enough to where they wouldn’t be able to land. Instead, they’d just drop a few troops off and return to their mothership for repairs.

 Sure enough, her plan was working. Instead of landing, the shuttle just hovered over a street, and began to drop soldiers off. She counted six – no, a seventh was descending. Peeking at them with her scope, she saw the seventh was clad in red armour, with a similarly red scarf wrapped around his neck. He had to be the leader.

 Taking careful aim, she feathered the trigger. There was a dry click.

 Swearing, Mercedes pulled out the magazine. She had forgotten that Archonite-tips came in sets of three due to their weight. She fumbled a bit, but managed to get a new magazine of armour-piercers snapped in place.

 She swung her rifle back into a shooting position. To her chagrin, the leader had moved behind a couple soldiers, rendering her shot worthless. To let her anger out, she beaded in on a random troop and squeezed the trigger.

 Unfortunately, she had squeezed too hard, and the shot went off-target. Instead of a clean headshot, it struck the trooper in his shoulder, sending him sprawling. The leader’s head snapped up, and he drew his plasma pistol, squeezing off a few shots at Mercedes. The shots went wild, one striking the leaves, setting them on fire, and the other struck a nearby telescope, melting it.

 Position revealed, Mercedes kicked open the trapdoor to the library and jumped down. She landed hard, startling Purplesmart, or whatever the horse’s name was. Running to the other balcony she had scouted out, she wondered how the others were doing.

***

 Kat crouched behind the fountain, peeking around the corner. He cradled the assault rifle awkwardly. He’d never used one before, just a pistol at the range whenever he could. And, of course, his samurai sword.

 He heard a loud crack, similar to the three that had preceded the landing of the shocktroopers. Again peering around the corner, he saw a shocktrooper hitting the pavement, gout of blood spewing from his shoulder. The red trooper was shooting at Mercedes, high up in her perch.

 Taking advantage of the distraction, Kat dove out of cover, spraying gunfire at the troopers. Most of his shots went wild, but he saw a few ping off their armour. The shocktroopers ducked into whatever cover they could find – mostly shop stalls – and started returning fire. Their plasma beams ate into the cobblestone, and a few turned the fountain’s water into steam.

 Once more taking advantage of his surroundings, Kat returned to behind the fountain, using the steam as cover. He could hear the Androsi leader shouting orders to his men. This was followed by the staccato report of a pistol.

 Leaning out of cover, Kat saw that Adria had rolled out of one of the alleyways, pumping rounds into shocktroopers. She was firing three-taps – two to the chest and one to the head – with unerring accuracy. After about ten shots, she was out of ammo, and she ran back into the alley, legs a blur as she put her mobility to good use.

 The wounded shocktrooper dropped his rifle and started to drag the other wounded soldier back behind a stall that had a big apple painted on it. Quickly checking the LED ammo count on the assault rifle, Kat grimaced. He leaned out of cover again, and took careful aim at the soldier who could still walk.

 Kat squeezed the trigger. This time, the bullets tore through the Androsi’s armour, blood steaming out as the superhot bullets pierced his skin. He collapsed on top of the trooper Mercedes had downed.

***

 David slipped out of the market stall he was using as cover. The Androsi were in front of him, backs turned. The red one with the scarf was bellowing orders.

 Then something happened that surprised David. A horse, cream-coloured with a two-tone blue and purple mane poked her head out of a house to see what was going on. An Androsi shocktrooper snapped towards her, and as he was taking aim at her, the leader shot him in the head.

 “We have orders,” he shouted. “Do not kill the ponies! We need them alive!”

 The pony had already ducked back into her house, and the remaining Androsi forces were huddled around each other. Except there were only two at the other stalls now, including the leader. Where had the other one gone?

David’s answer was quickly answered. He felt the warm muzzle of a gun press into his neck.

 “Drop the pistol, small earthling.”

 David did as the Androsi commanded.

 “Now raise your hands,” he ordered, putting his boot on David’s back.

 A gunshot rang out and David felt something warm spatter on the back of his head. The weight on his back shifted, and he heard a clatter.

 Then someone grabbed him under his arms, and they started moving backwards faster than any human could move. Looking up, David saw that Adria had grabbed him.

“Thanks,” he said once she had dropped him.

“There is no need to thank me. I only do what is necessary to aid my companions.”

 The crack of a sniper rifle reached their ears.

 “It would seem Miss Hemsworth has claimed another life,” Adria said.

 “She seems good at that,” David panted. For some reason he couldn’t catch his breath. His heart was pounding like a jackhammer.

 “It is almost disconcerting how easily she seems to take a life.”

 The rumble of the shuttle cut their conversation short. It sped in from the north, and did a sweeping turn. Gun turrets popped out of the once-smooth bottom and began to lay down fire.

 “What’s going on?” David asked.

“It would appear they are recovering their leader. Leaders have an almost deific place in Androsi culture, and according to the few history books of theirs we’ve recovered, they would frequently call a temporary cease-fire if one side’s leader was in danger of death. It would seem they are attempting a more hostile version of a cease-fire.”

 “So a ‘fire everything’ instead of a cease-fire.”

 Adria smiled slightly at that. “You have wit about you, David Matheson.”

V – The Response

 The few fires left by the mysterious white creatures were dying by the time Twilight made her way out of the library. The mess left by the battle wasn’t too bad. The stalls were easily replaced, and the fountain could easily be repaired.

She was more concerned about the deaths that had happened. She was right about those strange black things being messengers of death. It deeply concerned her to have such violent things in Ponyville. Who knows what else could happen with them here?

 Twilight clutched the letter from Celestia in her wing closer, to protect it from the drizzling rain that begun to fall.

 The bodies of the fallen aliens were gone, swept up in the strange tempest that had taken the red one. Blood still remained where they had been, thick, mercury-coloured pools. She knew there would be more outrage at the blood than the destroyed shops.

 “What in the mane of Starswirl the Bearded happened?” she asked. “Who were those aliens?”

 Adria, standing by David in the centre of town, took a few steps closer to her. “They are called Androsi. They have a severe distaste for humans to the point of outright hatred. Their one desire is to wipe out humanity.”

 “Strange how much hate can be in one– Hey, you’re speaking better Equestrian!”

 Adria inclined her head. “Indeed. I processed your language further in my translator cortices during the battle. I require very little brainpower in combat. I have a question for you. Why would the Androsi be interested in you as a species?”

 “I don’t know,” Twilight said. “Ponies have several forms – unicorn, pegasus, earth pony, and alicorn. I’m the latter, but I used to be a unicorn. I ascended after making a magic spell.”

 Adria cocked her head. “Magic… spell? Oh, you must refer to creating something to channel the energies of a shard of Archonite.” She shook her head. “Differing cultures are strange.”

 Twilight frowned as the others came up. She was still confused as to how two cultures could hate each other so much as to spill each other’s blood. Ponies were peaceful, and never engaged in combat, except in very rare occasions like the changeling invasion of Canterlot. The very concept of war was foreign to her, and made her head spin in a very bad way.

 “Well, I got a reply from Princess Celestia,” she said. “I was waiting for the violence to… to stop before I read it.”

 The others had come up to her to hear the letter. Behind them, Twilight could see ponies peeking out of their houses. She knew they wouldn’t like the humans at all. She had to get them back in the library.

 “I think we should go back to the library. Much, uh, warmer and also dry in there. Yes. Very dry,” she said through a big, false smile.

 Twilight headed for the library as fast as her little legs could carry her, and the humans followed. Once they were inside, she ripped the letter open. She started to read it, and Adria kept up a consistent pace translating it into human speech.

“My faithful student Twilight Sparkle,

 “I would be lying if I said I had heard of these humans before. My advice to you is to get them what they need quickly and quietly, as not to upset the current balance of things. I believe the place you need that is high and free of leylines is, unfortunately, right in the heart of the strongest magical power in the world: the mountain Frostbite in the Crystal Kingdom.

 “I recommend you take them to the Crystal Kingdom as soon as possible. I have arranged for a private train to the farthest station in the north, the city of Bastion.”

 Twilight’s blood ran cold. Mount Frostbite had claimed many an adventurer’s life. And now Princess Celestia expected her to take these humans there?

 Suddenly Twilight wasn’t feeling so excited about this new alien race of hers.

VI – Fox’s Rage

 Vulpes entered his room aboard the cruiser Mighty Fist, ripping his scarf off. Anger was bubbling inside him, and his soft layer of fur was bristling. He had been routed by humans. Again.

 He rubbed the left side of his face. The bandages were rough on his hand. The doktor had said it would take several weeks for the burn wounds to heal, and that Vulpes might have to get a replacement eye.

 The Androsi hated the sound of that. Eyes that were grown in clone vats were abhorrent to him, much less eyes that were artificial in nature. He gritted his sharp teeth and growled lowly.

 “Something the matter, dear?” came a soft, sultry voice. His bride came out of the showers, wrapped in a soft robe made of the finest summer-silk. Her long ears flopped on her white hair, and she rubbed her chocolate skin all over Vulpes’s red suit.

 He shoved her away with a grunt. “It’s hose nah’chi paraaks of humans, Lilith! They killed my entire squad except for me and one other. I’ll probably kill him myself.”

 She draped herself on Vulpes, soft hands rubbing his shoulders. “You’re tight, my love. Perhaps you need some relaxing.” Her fingers dug into his flesh, kneading it like dough.

 “I need to fulfill the Warmonger’s directives,” he growled. “I need to secure the Archonite on this planet.” He brushed her hands away, though he had to admit it felt good

“Oh, Vulpes, you aren’t the captain of this vessel. You’re not but the Lord Marshal. And what do Lord Marshals do when they don’t get their way?”

 “They find a way to get their way,” Vulpes said, turning to face her. “We take the lives of those who oppose us.”

 His bride rubbed her chin with a hand. “I was thinking that they ravage their wives and consider vengeance later.”

 He shoved her away. “If you’re so intent on being ravaged, do it yourself. I will not rest until this world is mine, and mine alone. They promised me that much.”

She sighed, and plopped down on the bed, brushing her rabbit-like ears out of her eyes. “What then will you do, dearest? Hop in your battle frame and crush those who oppose you?”

 Vulpes straightened out and turned to face her again. “That, my love, is not a bad idea.” He smiled broadly. “Perhaps… perhaps I was too hasty with my thoughts on ravaging.”

“Oh good,” Lilith purred, holding her arms up. “Come to me, darling. Show me the power of the Tantex family.”

 Vulpes embraced her, and she let out a moan. However, his mind was elsewhere. Tomorrow, he thought, he would take his battle frame Foxfang, and her sister frame Sekhmet and return to the planet’s surface. Then he would wipe out the humans.

 He smiled as he ran his fingers through his lover’s hair. Yes, it was the perfect plan.