Please do not break the Universe. -cleaning staff.
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Please do not break the Universe. -cleaning staff.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”
Boom.
Pinkie stood in the rubble that was once Twilights front door. “Twilight help I’ve open a door to another dimension and can’t close it!”
Twilight sighed as the monthly home repair budget got a little closer to going over. “Maybe you should practice using doors properly and not destroying them. And yes I’ll try to fix you world ending mistake.” Twilight said having learned to not blow off apocalyptic warnings when Pinkie was involved.
“Okay! Let's go!” said Pinkie as she grabbed Twilight and yanked her into the 4th wall.
The 4th wall was an unending plane of dark white that went on forever.
“Okay, yes. This looks bad and I have no clue how we got here. How are we even standing? There is nothing below us! Why do I taste purple!?” Twilight said at an ever increasing speed as panic set in.
“What? No, this is fine. It’s this area over here that has me concerned.” Pinkie walked Twilight a few infinities to the left and ignored her increasing hysteria. “This thing is completely broken and I have no idea how to fix it.” She said Pinkie pointing out a gaping hole in the Nothing that surrounded them.
On the other side of the ‘window’ was… Equestria. Twilight could see her tree house and the rest of Ponyville. She relaxed as her heart rate and blood pressure lowered slightly.
“Dammit Pinkie! Give me a little warning next time you take me into an impossibility!” Twilight glared at her friend who smiled sheepishly. “Okay. Where are we? Why are we here? What do you want me to do and when can I get back home so I can write a letter to the Princess asking for a mind wipe spell?”
"Umm, we’re in the 4th wall. I broke it and it needs to be fixed. Please, use your magic to fix it, and as soon as you can please!" said Pinkie cheerfully.
“Pinkie I don’t even know what the Fourth Wall is. How am I supposed to fix it?”
“Just try! I don’t want to get in trouble for breaking the universe!” pouted, giving Twilight her sad puppy dog eyes.
"Ugh! Fine. Just stop looking at me like that!" Twilight said, producing a cheer from her friend.
Sighing, the Master of Magic powered up her horn and girded her loins for she was about to do the most dangerous form of magic. Experimentation.
“If I blow up the planet, it’s your fault. Okay?”
“Okey Dokey Lokey.” Pinkie said with a carefree giggle.
Good enough for me, thought Twilight. “Let’s try my Failsafe spell.”
Quickly using the power already gathered, Twi unleashed her high level Sorcery on the broken door to anywhere.
Pinkie and Twilight sat still for a few seconds.
“Is it supposed to do nothing?” Asked Pinkie.
“That's it. I’m throwing every book written by Gilded Lockheart in the trash when I get home.” Twilight said. “I’ll just try to force it closed.”
This time Twilight grabbed the edges telekinetically and pulled them closer together.
“Maybe I can just tie it back up?” Twilight said, trying not to think about how wrong everything was and just get the job done.
Twilight tied the sides of the hole in the wall of Nothing together and let go to check what would happen.
The knot held as the excess nothingness acted like elastic bouncing the knot in the middle of the window.
“Oh wow Twi, I would have never of thought of that! But the hole is still there, only now there are two of them.”
Through one hole showed Ponyville, same as before, but the other hole now showed Sweet Apple Acres. Applejack could be seen working diligently at her farm, bucking apples, unaware that Twilight and Pinkie had ripped a hole in space not ten feet from her.
“HEY APPLEJACK!” Pinkie Pie shouted as loud as she could.
AJ jumped and, as she was on her front legs about to buck the tree she was harvesting, she landed on her face.
“He-he-he. Sorry Applejack. I couldn't resist!” Pinkie said, looking guilty as she seemed to have made AJ hurt herself.
“Ha-ha, it’s fine Pinkie. You really got me.” Applejack said as she got up. “But I’m gonna have to pay you back for this onnnne…” AJ trailed off as her mind went blank at the sight of Pinkie hanging out of a hole floating above the ground.
“Don't worry Applejack I’m fixing it. And I can get you a mind wipe spell if you want it.” Twi said.
“Okay let's fix this for good before we destroy any more minds.” Twilight said as she pulled Pinkie back out of the hole.
This time Twilight grabbed the area around the windows and pulled the 4th wall over the whole thing. "All right now maybe I can make one knot and fix this whole thing."
Wrapping the Nothing around the holes, Twilight then twisted the Nothing so it was a ball and tied it off.
After a few seconds to the ball of Nothing, hanging on Nothing, dropped to the floor of Nothing leaving an unblemished wall of Nothing.
“Think that did it?” Twilight asked Pinkie.
“Well it looks good to me.” Pinkie said, eyeing the ball.
“I wonder if I can eat this?” Pinkie thought aloud.
“Pinkie I feel it is my duty as you friend and as a member of the universe to tell you that eating something that should not exist is a Bad Idea.” Twilight said with all the authority of a lifetime working with the primal forces of magic had given her.
“Well one way to find out.” said Pinkie, clearly ignoring the wise words of her friend.
Pinkie put the 4th wall in her mouth.
It tasted like Chicken and Fritos, which was interesting because pinkie did not know what those tasted like. However she now knew that it was what the 4th wall tasted like.
Twilight, watching Pinkie chew what could not Be, could only think... 'why does it sound so wet?'
So lost in her reverie that she nearly missed the moment Pinkie swallowed the wet ball of Nothing.
Pinkie lifted her head back and gulped the well-chewed thing. It visibility moved down Pinkie’s esophagus and, when it disappeared down towards its final destination, Pinkie and Twilight both looked at her stomach with anticipation. A few seconds passed and the friends’ looked back up at each other.
Then Pinkie let out a rumbling belch that echoed in the infinite bounds that surrounded them.
“Are you satisfied now? Can we go home?” Twi said, clearly miffed that Pinkie did not share.
“Okay dokey Lokey!” Pinkie said as she pushed herself and Twi back to reality.
“See you tomorrow and thanks for fixing the universe Twilight!” Pinkie said as she ran out of the library.
“Alright one more thing to do before I can call it a day. Spike!”
Right on cue, her Number One Assistant popped up ready to serve. “Take a letter please.”
“Dear Princess Celestia
Please send two Class 5 mind wipe spells to me and Applejack as soon as possible. I have a feeling this is not the first time this has happened so I’ll just say that I would rather not know what the 4th wall tasted like.
Your faithful student,
Twilight Sparkle."
P.S. I would like to formally request an increase in the Monthly Home Repair and Emergence Alcohol budgets.
Spike the dragon”
