Chapters Loss
Chapter 1; She's Gone
It was a Saturday, a day usually reserved for frolic and play. Today was not one of those days. A foggy haze had drifted into Ponyville, adding to the solemnity that had overcome the quaint town.
The service was one of utter sorrow, small sniffs could be heard rising above the silence. At the front of the service was a coffin, black and simple, roses and other assorted gifts adorning the lid of the lower half, as if to beckon the spirit back. Inside it was a turquoise-blue figure, with the unmistakable flashes of red, orange, yellow, green, and blue. It was Rainbow dash. The brightly colored pegasus that had always been active and moving was now motionless. Her chest that once rose and fell with her breathing now remained still. Twilight was the first to speak. She felt a lump form in her throat, and finally managed to choke out a few sentences. “Rainbow Dash was one of the best friends a pony could ask for. She had always been there if you needed her, and always looked out for us.” A tear rolled down her lavender coat, and she paused to regain her composure. “Without her Equestria would be much different from what it is now, and now that she's gone, it will never be the same.” Twilight stepped down slowly, tears flowing openly from her eyes. Next was Pinkie Pie. The normally energetic party pony who was usually a ball of sunshine, seemed to take the loss particularly severely. She had always kind of looked up to Rainbow Dash, and always wanted to hang out with her and share a laugh. The party pony now held a look of anguish and almost longing, an emptiness filled her, and now she simply stared, as tears streamed from her eyes. Once at the podium, Pinkie fell apart. All she managed to choke out between fits of sobs was, “I should have been there for you, Dash,” a bout of tears interrupted her, “I should have been there for you...” That was all she was able to get out before she was once again overtaken with sorrow. The rest of the service was filled with almost everypony in the town giving their final goodbyes to one of the most well known ponies in town. Even the normally sullen Gilda came, her usual face of arrogance replaced by dread and sadness. A single tear rolled down beside her beak as she said goodbye to her oldest friend, “I'm sorry, Rainbow Dash... I'm so sorry.”
It was a shock to everypony. She went in the night, peacefully, but in sorrow. She had seen the Wonderbolts perform a certain trick flawlessly. She felt the sudden urge to try it, and in true Rainbow dash fashion, decided to perform it herself. Everything had gone according to plan, until a wild updraft threw her off balance and sent her careening into a mountainside. The crash resulted in a fractured wing, and several bruised ribs, but nothing permanent. She had shown signs of promise, she had gained strength, walked, even flown for short distances. She was released from the hospital, and returned home with only a slight limp in her walk and was nearly able to fly at full strength. She was on the road to recovery, as far as anypony could tell. That is, until, she got wind of what happened to Scootaloo.
The news struck her like a speeding train. Rainbow Dash was never one to take the loss of someone well. She had been in a deep depression for days, barely finding the energy or even willingness to walk across town. Her friends had become worried at the pitiful state of their best friend. “It's not your fault,” was all that Applejack could offer. “None of us could have seen it coming.” “Why didn't I see it?” Rainbow Dash asked, seemingly ignoring Applejack's sincere consolation. “Why didn't I ask her?” Several sobs broke out from Rainbow Dash. Twilight and Rarity also shed a tear, feeling for Dash. Her friends had never seen her in such a state. She had always seemed so strong, but now, the independent pony they had known for so long had broken. She didn't try to conceal her sorrow, letting tears flow down her face. Her friends huddled in close, allowing sobs and tears to erupt, sharing the anguish of losing someone close to them. “It's my fault,” Rainbow Dash managed to choke out. “I never asked her what was wrong, I never bothered to figure out. It was so obvious. It's my fault.” “No it's not, Rainbow,” Twilight replied. “None of us knew about it. Don't blame yourself.” Her consolation seemed to have no effect on Rainbow Dash. Instead of replying, she simply pushed her friends out of the way, flew away slowly towards her clouded domain. Applejack was taken back at the sudden gesture. "Fine, then leave, we were only trying to help!" She regretted that statement as soon as it escaped her mouth. Rainbow kept flying, tears falling to the ground behind her. Soon she disappeared into the mirky night, her colors no longer visible.
A few days passed, and, always being the thoughtful one, Fluttershy decided to check up on her. When she entered the blue pegasus' fluffy white cloud-home, the sight she witnessed was one of complete surprise and shock. Rainbow Dash was laying in the middle of the floor, motionless and seemingly catatonic. The only sign of life, the occasional lazy movement of her head. Her frame was slender, and her breathing was weak. Panic overtook Fluttershy. Complex sentences came out as panicked gasps and yelps, with the occasional “oh no” or “stay with me.” She held Rainbow Dash in her arms and made several feeble attempts to drag her out of her home. She had finally been able to find a pegasus flying by and called her over. Rainbow Dash lulled in and out of consciousness as they flew across the sky. She looked up at the sky, noticing the clouds. "I'm sorry, Scoots," she thought. She could tell Fluttershy was talking to her, but she couldn't make out what she was saying. Words and sentences were but murmurs, and her vision was failing. She didn't care. She had taken the death of her little admirer completely to heart and truly believed it was her fault. Tears rolled down her face as the hospital came into view. The last thing she saw was the white hospital lights passing over her, lighting up the darkness that slowly crept into the sides of her vision. "I'm sorry," was the last though she had before it all went black.
Doctors were unable to treat her. She had slipped into a deep coma without any signs of recovery. She had neither eaten nor drank anything for days, and her body was rejecting the supplements that were being pumped in via the clear IV tube. She was deteriorating, and fast. Twilight, Applejack, Rarity, Pinkie, and Fluttershy stood at the foot of her bed, tear filled eyes observing their beloved friend slip deeper into darkness. "I'm so sorry girls," Nurse Redheart forced through the lump in her throat. "She is in a deep coma, and isn't improving. She's getting thinner and I don't believe she has much time. I'm so sorry," she repeated. That was what hit Pinkie Pie the hardest, the news that her best friend was deteriorating before her eyes. She broke, simply laying down and sobbing. This was more than enough to break down the other ponies. Tears erupted from each of them. Now with both Scootaloo and Rainbow Dash gone, their lives would never be the same. They stayed in the white, plain hospital room for hours, reminiscing on their old adventures, remembering their favorite memories with her.
It was 1:47. Most of them had fallen asleep, but Applejack and Pinkie Pie had remained awake, their minds fixated on their friend, hoping that somehow she'd come back and everything would be alright. The silence was broken by a single ringing tone. It was the heart monitor. Rarity, Twilight, and Fluttershy woke up with a jolt. At that moment, hospital staff flooded in. The clamor of the doctors and nurses crowding around her close friend was too much for Fluttershy. Completely hysterical, she huddled in the corner and openly let tears of bitterness and remorse flow down her face, as her cries of sorrow were lost in the commotion of the room. Pinkie Pie simply sat there staring, a complete emptiness filled her, a continuos flow of tears outlining her features. Twilight, Applejack, and Rarity simply held each other. They had never felt so alone. Seconds passed, and then minutes. Slowly the clamor of the staff subsided, and a single doctor stepped out from the crowd. "I'm so sorry," he said, "She's gone."
Chapter 2; Remorse
Twilight found herself unable to sleep. The bed that once had been a fluffy source of comfort now felt like a prison for her emotions. She squirmed and writhed, her mind alive with thought, unable to keep her body still. She sat up in bed. She let out a long sigh and gazed out the circular window near her bed. “If you can hear me, Dash,” she whispered, her voice hardly audible, “I just want you to know that we all miss you.” It seemed such a blunt statement, she thought. She had always been able to think of witty mannerisms and remarks, but in her current mental state, that was all that Twilight could muster. She looked down at the covers, another sigh coming from her. A small sniffle came from beyond the bed. “Spike?” she said. Her inquiry was met with quiet sobbing. She let out a quiet sympathetic coo as she walked over and laid her head over Spike. “Why did she have to go?” Spike finally managed between sobs. “I don't know, Spike,” she breathed in response. “I don't know...” The two laid there the rest of the night, remembering their dear friend who had just days before been in near perfect health.
Twilight awoke when the sun shone on her face, giving her a feeling of short lived happiness. She allowed herself a tiny grin as she looked up at the sky that always reminded her of her dear friend. She felt herself well up a bit as she remembered all of the wonderful times they'd had. “Miss you Dash,” she said, looking at the sky, painting a mental image of the colorful pegasus showing off her latest trick, as she usually did. With a grieved sigh, she went about her morning chores. She dusted the bookshelves, checked her nearly endless stache of stationery supplies, and did a quick once over to make sure the books were alphabetized. “Ahhh ok, D... there,” she said as she completed the organization of the D section “Ummm.... ok E,” she murmured to herself. She looked down at the stack of books to put back in place. “Ok, Equestrian Cultures and Practices, Education and Magic, Elements of...” she felt herself trail off “Harmony,” she said in a saddened whisper. Her horn glowed a bright pink as she levitated the book in front of herself. Her heart sink as it cracked open, and there, where they were left, were all 6 Elements of Harmony. “It's not the same," she said, her voice breaking with sorrow.
“I miss her so much,” Fluttershy managed. “I know, dear... we all do,” Rarity replied, welling up at the thought of their old friend. “I'm glad you came over,” Fluttershy said, “I really need someone right now.” Rarity found herself holding Fluttershy like a mother with her foal. Small sniffs escaped from the yellow pegasus as she recollected her favorite memories of their rainbow colored friend. “Why them? Why Scootaloo and Rainbow Dash?” The voice was that of a small filly. It was Sweetie Belle. “Why did they have to go?” She had been standing by the doorway for sometime. That was all that it took for Rarity to break down, sobbing and beckon Sweetie Belle to her. The three huddled together, sharing their sorrow.
Pinkie Pie had never been without a smile for so long. Her tail dragged along the ground and her mane, usually fluffy and full of static was now straight, and long, like a pink waterfall atop her head and neck. Pinkie was going for a walk, an activity she hadn't done in a long, long time. She only ever took walks when there was something genuinely wrong. She hadn't been on a walk since she was just a filly, living on the rock farm. For the first time in a long time, her mind was clear. Usually it was filled with ideas, plans, fantasies, parties, friends, but today, it was filled with Dash. As she drudged down the path that led to Sweet Apple Acres, she noticed a shadow envelope her. She looked up and saw that familiar cloud adorned with white pillars and brilliant rainbows streaming down it. Her legs grew weak, and she felt herself unable to stand. Instead of fighting it, Pinkie simply collapsed into a puddle of tears directly under the rainbow pegasus' former residence. It wasn't loud crying, like when she had tried to get Poundcake and Pumpkincake to behave. It was silent, and constant, the kind of weeping brought not by sadness, but by anguish. The kind of anguish that no one, not even Pinkie Pie could bear. The kind of anguish that never fully heals.
Applejack found herself looking up at the stars, as she often does when the work is done and night has fallen. A strange expression fell upon her face. It was a mix of wonder, sadness, and regret. Her gaze switched between constellations, as if trying to spot her old friend. She regretted so much about what their relationship was. They were always in some sort of argument, and their final conversation was no different. Applejack sat there, staring up at the sky, full of remorse and regret, praying it was all just a big nightmare, and that she could go and hug her old friend. “You OK sis?” asked Applebloom, who had just walked outside. “The last thing I said to her,” she said in a tone that Applebloom hadn't recognized before, “was 'fine then, leave...' That was the last thing I ever said to her. Some things you just don't get to take back.” A steady stream of tears rolled down Applejack's face “I'm sorry, Rainbow Dash.”
Rainbow Dash had always assumed dying would be a terrifying experience. Every time she had though about someone dying, their face would be full of dread, their features locked in a confused and disoriented gaze as it slowly fills with grief. She usually thought very little of death, however. Rainbow Dash's family was some of the healthiest in all of Equestria, and she hadn't ever really lost anyone close to her... until now that is. In reality, it was a relatively peaceful event, she thought; at least, from what she remembered. Her last memories before slipping into her comatose state were blurred. She remembered the hall lights of the hospital drift by, as the cart she was on sped into the Urgent Care section. Voices were no longer clear, crisp, comprehendible thoughts, but droning noise, as if she'd been submerged in a swimming pool too long, and her friends clamored for her safe return. These moments were fleeting, as she felt herself fall into unconsciousness. She didn't fight it. She didn't want to. A cold embrace gripped her, but it wasn't the air conditioned interior of the hospital that was chilling her bones. She knew what would happen next.
Rainbow Dash awoke with a fright. She was in a bed; a hospital bed, to be exact. Instinctively, she crawled from beneath the pure white bed sheets. Was it real? Was this all just a big nightmare? She was definitely in a hospital, but the lights were off, and her friends were no where to be found. Her heart fell into her stomach as she started to catch on to the reality of the moment. A slow turn to the hospital bed confirmed her suspicion. In that bed was a blue pegasus, with a brightly colored rainbow mane, and a single bouquet of flowers with a tag that read, “goodbye, friend.” Her legs could no longer bear the weight of the situation, and gave out on her, her body falling to the cold tile floor. Rainbow didn't try to get up, nor did she really want to. She simply laid there, weeping; so much to understand all at once. Scootaloo, her 1 member fan club, the one that looked up to her no matter what she did, the one who always wanted, more than anything, to be just like Rainbow Dash had passed in the night, cold and alone. And now she, too, joined the hidden ranks of those passed on. Her mind raced. “Oh Celestia,” she cried aloud, letting grief enshroud her. The room was pure white, but never had she been in such a dark place. She never even got to say goodbye. A sudden sickening realization flooded over here. “I did this,” she whispered to herself. “I killed Scootaloo... and now I killed myself.” She had never felt such complete solitude. Rainbow Dash looked at the ground for some time, pondering her situation, regretting, wishing, scorning herself.
It was only after her gaze shifted upwards that she noticed a large mare, ancient by the looks of it, and an alicorn. Her coat seemed to once be a brilliant white, but had now faded to a dull grey. Her mane was simple and white, as if washed too many times. Rainbow Dash peered at her wings; they were all but plucked free of their feathers with the occasional stray piece of down clinging to them. Her horn, Dash noted, was broken. She winced at the sight. It was a painful injury to be sure, even more so than breaking a bone. It was only after this that she saw her eyes, brown portals into utter sorrow, that Rainbow Dash started to break again. She welled up at the sight, not even exactly sure why. The alicorn took a step forward, worn hooves clopping gently against the hard tile floor of the hospital. “I'm sorry, Rainbow Dash,” she said with genuine empathy and sorrow. “Don't be,” was the only reply from Rainbow. The alicorn was taken back at the statement, shocked even. “What do you mean?” inquired the old Mare, with genuine concern for the emotionally battered pegasus. “I killed Scootaloo, the only one who looked up to me, who wanted to be just like me. How can you be sorry for that?” The alicorn felt a surge of emotion fly over her. She was talking about the same Scootaloo she had just recently visited just days earlier. “You did no such thing,” was the reply from the ancient and weathered alicorn, almost a defensive tone in her voice. Rainbow was a little surprised at the statement, but replied anyway, genuine blame on herself evident. “Yeah well, I might as well have. How could I not see it? How could I have never asked what was wrong every time her face dropped when she couldn't stay at Fluttershy's? It was so obvious!” Rainbow Dash found herself screaming at the world, as tears of bitterness poured from her face. The alicorn stepped back. She was used to ponies begging and pleading for their lives back, but this one... she thought; “This one cares only for the ones she lost and left behind,” she spoke to herself. The sight before her was enough to cause her old heart to thaw just as it did when she encountered Scootaloo. “Rainbow Dash,” she said, catching the attention of the pitiful blue pegasus on the ground before her. “What?” she asked, as if ordering not to be disturbed. “Blame will never help you,” she said “You have wielded the Elements of Harmony on more than one occasion, you have stayed loyal to a band of friends that not many ponies could even dream of. You've brought laughs and cheer, and you inspired a soul; Scootaloo.” That last sentence was like a strike in the gut. “What do you mean?” The query came out as a half snarl, half genuine question. “Scootaloo,” she repeated. “She saw you come to the service. She had never truly formed a bond with anypony but you,” she explained. “You were the best thing that ever happened to her. Don't ever doubt that,” she explained. “Well then what happens now?” Rainbow Dash questioned. She had seemed defeated. If anything, the Mare's last statement plunged a dagger of guilt into her already ceased heart. The Mare picked up on this. She had never felt such empathy to a pony. Rainbow Dash had gone through so much, seemingly for nothing. “Death does not fail to reward a beautiful life,” she said, a sad half-smile ghosted her face as a tear outlined the contours of her ancient face. “You have touched ponies everywhere. You've accomplished things that other ponies don't dare dream of,” she said, a truly warm tone coming from her gentle face. “So like I said,” butted in Rainbow Dash, seemingly taking to heart what the old mare had said. “What happens now?” “Now,” said the mare in a soothing tone, similar to a mother with her foal, “You choose your Heaven,” she explained. “However, please be wise with your decision,” her tone changed to that of concern, as if speaking to one of her own kin. It didn't take her long to reply. She had her mind on one single thing. “I know what I want,” she said, a resoluteness even more firm than when she dreamed of becoming a Wonderbolt. A large white flash soon enveloped the blue pegasus, her expression of resolution unchanging.
“Gah!” Scootaloo, yelled out loud. “What the hay was that?” The flash was visible under the fluffy white door of the small orange pegasus's room. She was hesitant in walking towards the door. What awaited on the other side? Her thoughts raced. What could possibly cause a flash that powerful? After some time, she gained her composure. The door was silent as it cracked open. A small purple eye peered out from around it. “Dash?” she said, confused. “What was that?” The blue pegasus in the center of the room spun on her heels and simply stared at the little filly. “Uh, are you OK, Rainbow?” Scootaloo asked. “Yeah,” she said, tears in her eyes. “Yeah. I'm fine, Scoots.” With that, she walked up and embraced the small orange pegasus, their very souls bound together, unending, and absolute. Scootaloo felt something different about Dash, something familiar about her that she hadn't seen since the accident. She couldn't quite place it, but it sparked something in her. The next thing she said was from the bottom of her heart, and she meant every word. “I love you, Dashie,” Scootaloo said. “I love you too, kiddo,” she said. She was truly whole for the first time in what seemed like an eternity, tears of a million different emotions coating her in moisture. A pair of familiar brown eyes peered into the window, with an expression of no longer sorrow, but happiness. Happiness that two souls finally found peace, even in the afterlife, perhaps one day destined to see their friends once more.
