A Blatant Attempt To Be Famous

by Kenneth Invictus

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Romance, Trixie, Random
Length: 1403

What does one man have to do to get his story in literary digest? And what depths will he have to descend to?

What does one man have to do to get his story in a literary digest? That depends on how desperate he is, of course. And how much Trixie is in it...

Please note, this is a parody, and as such is not intended to be serious. In other words, if your jimmies get rustled, it's your own fault.

Published 2013-09-21 23:40:05 UTC
Last updated 2013-09-21 23:40:05 UTC

Trixie is Best Pony!

Ah, welcome to my little place onto the internet. You must have recognized my talent and wished to see my ascension into literary divinity

Wait, you don't know who I am? Have you not heard of my works of literary greatness? Than allow me to explain to you who I am.

I am Kenneth Invictus, the New World Order, The One Who Moves You, The End Undone, The Will of Lauren Faust, The Illogical Romancer, The Last Absolution, and a thousand other titles. My works will bring the masses to their knees in utter worship, shedding tears as they witness the standards by which their works will be judged. My Will Be Done, In This Fandom And The Next.

But you see, everyone's path to greatness is first mired in obscurity, and to fix that, I must do a task that many say is impossible. They quake in fear of even thinking of it. Even titans of literature have tried and failed, shamed by their casting down from the heavens. But not me. I will surpass them all and do what many think is impossible.

I will get myself into the pages of the next Equis Digest!

What IS the Equis Digest, you ask? Only the most respected and trusted magazine, featuring the creme de la creme of stories, the only stories worth reading at all! To be recognized by it confirms your status as writing divinity, a member of the greatest pantheon one can aspire to, headed by none other than Box Cube, the editor in chief of this masterful collection?

Now I can hear you thinking.to yourself, how can you succeed where others fail? How can you get past the legions of assistant editors, the ones of who they say that they were born from the will of Box Cube's might to crush the masses who come humbly before them with their tatters of writings? The ones whose only thoughts, day and night, are to tell the failures of existence exactly why they are unable to write their stories to the immutable satisfaction of the staff.

That answer is simple. I plan to appeal to the base nature of Box Cube, And that means writing a Trixie story.

And so, bear witness to the story that will propel me to becoming more than just a simple writer.

Witness... And Worship...

--

It was a simple day in Ponyville, and nothing special was going. It was really boring day, Really boring. Mind-numbingly boring. I could go on on the levels of boring, but I'd rather speed things up.

Rainbow Dash was flying around Ponyville in a vain search for awesomeness. But finding none, Rainbow Dash sighed, and wished something would happen. Anything at all.

That's when a reptilian leg the size of the castle slammed itself into the cottage of one Mrs. Fluttershy, squishing it and every being within. And yes, that includes Fluttershy, because really, who actually likes her? She's a waste of valuable character space they could have given to my original character. And I don't count Keep Calm and Flutter On as canon. Because, really, who does?

Anyway, back to the story. Rainbow Dash saw what happened, and her heart skipped a beat as she witnessed her friend's demise. She looked at what the offending leg was attached to, and her breath left her. For she was staring at the massive creature known only as Godzilla! King of the Beasts!

Rainbow did what she does best, she rushed towards the situation, hoof in front as she flew straight at the Kaiju...

...and got engulfed in nuclear fire, straight from the breath of the King of the Monsters. But she was totally fine, nothing bad happened at all. Her existence was totally not reduced to nothingness. And that last couple of sentence is a total lie.

Rarity screamed at what she witnessed at one of her associates demise, and simply summoned a nearby couch, So she was completely useless, as usual. So was Pinkie, who was busy trying to throw together a "Welcome Godzilla" party, complete with a ten-story Party Cannon

Twilight Sparkle, the newest lavender alicorn, fired off multiple blasts at Godzilla, but they did not affect him. Twilight used her magical telekinesis, and fired off useless small items, such as a couch, a rosebush, and Applejack, at the beast, but it just bounced off. Godzilla roared, as he leveled a small house with his fire breath.

Twilight put a forehoof to her head, and sighed. "Oh, my calculations were wrong! I can't defeat Godzilla! If only somepony can save us!"

This of course is a perfect cue for the absolute best pony in the world...

"THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE SHALL SAVE YOU!"

A hopeful orchestral theme permeates through the scene as everyone's attention shifted to what looked to be a rustic wagon, which had transformed into a mobile stage. Upon it, a beautiful pony of the most perfect shade of blue was decked in her trademark cape and hat, complimenting the absolute beauty that was Trixie. A flock of distressed doves flew from behind the stage towards the sky to complete the look.

Twilight looked upon her new hope, and her heart fluttered inside. Rarity actually woke up from her couch. Pinkie shifted party focus to a "Trixie will save us party!"

Godzilla, the King of the Monsters, the Tokyo Fireball, looked upon this new pony, and not realizing how screwed he was, fired off a blast of Oppenheimer's Light at Trixie. Trixie only feigned interest at it, as she lifted a hoof, and a blue shield formed around her, negating the blast of fire.

This only infuriated Godzilla, who lifted a massive foot to attempt to crush The Great And Powerful Trixie. However, Trixie only smirked as her horn glowed, and a soft luminescent glow of blue surrounded Godzilla, as he started to lift into the sky. Godzilla tried to thrash about as he was involuntarily dragged off of the planet, slowly at first, then speeding up as the Great and Powerful Trixie showcased her absolute mastery of telekinesis in flinging Godzilla into the cold harshness of space, where no one can hear you neigh. Godzilla became smaller in smaller in viewable size, until he was only a sparkle in the sky.

The glow on Trixie's horn died as she smirked, and looked at the crowd of ponies that had gathered around her. "Was there ever any doubt?"

This immediately caused the group to cheer immediately, as Trixie's horn lit up again, as various things around the town started to glow the same blue. Trixie mastery over reversing destruction, and even death, was on full display as buildings that were destroyed were fully rebuilt, damaged terrain redid itself to before Godzilla came, and even dead ponies were magically brought back to life through the will of Trixie. Even if they didn't have any body left. Nothing was impossible for The Great And Powerful Trixie

Soon enough, everything was back as it was, as the cheers became louder. All the ponies started chanting Trixie's name, all except Twilight Sparkle. But it wasn't because of any type of resentment or hate. It was nothing more than pure, unadulterated love...

--

Well, I'd ask what you thought of it, but I can tell by the way you're on your knees before me that you approve. So, tell me, how can Box Cube say no to a written wonder of this caliber? And this is only the first chapter of a three part story. A story all about Trixie and her greatness.

Now, if you will excuse me, I have to go for my three o'clock appointment at a certain house of "specialness.". Even a Literary Titan of my stature should never be late for an appointment.

I leave you to bask in what you have seen, and in anticipation for what comes next...

Author's Note

Okay, before anyone asks, this is a work of parody, as should be obvious. This was just an attempt to have some fun in writing, and allowing me to be a little silly. Though I have to be honest: Writing as poorly as I can is a tad bit hard...

Thanks for FimFiction for accepting me, and you for reading it (and putting up with my ego.)

Part 2 will be up at some point in time...