Unlikely Friends (alt.)

by Craterfist

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Romance, Human
Length: 5712

Alternate HiE fanfic

This is my alternate version of Unlikely Friends. Same beginning (I'm changing the way I enter Equestria) and character (me), except for one thing. I will know everything about Equestria and the show like a true brony. Enjoy and laugh a little.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-04-08 22:53:15 UTC

1. Breaking 4th Wall.

As I walked in through my front door, I didn't even bother to take my shoes off. I just plopped on the couch, and turned on the TV. T my delight, My Little Pony was on. I started watching, but then I noticed a discoloration on my TV, smack dab in the middle of the screen. I went over and poked it, and it rippled like water.

Not sure what to expect, I put my hand in the screen, and I felt it stretching under my hand. I put both hands into it, and tore it open. The new hole started pulling me in like a vaccum, and I grabbed for the coffee table. But it was too late. I was pulled in, and I fell through the darkness for a few seconds. I then saw a small town below me, not a hundred feet. That was when gravity kicked in. I fell for a split second, long enough to think to my self Oh, shi-. That's when I landed.

My consciousness returned, but there was a horrible ringing in my ears. I felt myself on a bed of some sort. I opened my eyes, but the light above was so intense, I had to hold my hand in front of my face. That's when I was able to barely hear "It's awake!"

I lowered my hand as the lights dimmed some, and felt in my pocket for my IPod, which I pulled out and found completely unscathed. It is metal, so that was to be expected. I put in my earbuds, and Put on Fly Me To The Moon by Brenda Lee. I let myself be soothed by the calming melody and sweet voice. I whispered the lyrics as they went.

Fly me to the moon, and let me play among the stars.

Let me see what Spring is like, on Jupiter and Mars.

In other words, hold my hand.

In other words, darling kiss me.

Fill my heart with song, and let me sing forever more.

You are all I long for, all I worship, and adore.

In other words, please be true.

In other words, I love you.

I felt a tapping on my shoulder. I opened my eyes, and turned my head to see none other than Rarity looking at me very closely.

"Darling, that's one of my favorite songs."

I smiled and said "It is a good song."

She seemed a little surprised that I could respond to a comment, but kept smiling nonetheless.

"Dear, what's your name?"

"My name's Jacob."

"Jacob..." Rarity tested the name on her tounge. I leaned forward to get up, and heard many a popping noise from my spine. I held out my arms, rotated them, and got some more cracks and pops out. I then swung my feet to the side, but when I set my feet down, pain shot up my left leg. I grunted and swung my legs back onto the bed. I looked around, and saw all of the mane 6 standing there.

"Huh, never thought we would meet like this." I stated. "Hell, I didn't even think we would meet at all."

They looked at me funny, and Rarity spoke again. "Excuse me dear, but could you elaborate on that?"

I smiled and said "I'll explain soon, I promise. But for now, all I'll say is that I already know all about the six of you, as well as that I have general knowledge of Equestria, though there are gaps in that knowledge."

l looked around, and stated "Are we in the guest room of Fluttershy's cottage?"

They looked even more shocked, and Twilight asked "How did you know that?"

Rainbow Dash zoomed up to the bedside and put her face in mine, but I quickly cut her off and said "I'm not a spy, so don't ask."

She backed away in fear and stuttered "H-how are y-you d-doing this?" I

grinned and said "Like I said, I'll explain soon. Just... Not right now."

I said as I laid back down. I kept listening to the song, and thought to myself as the moon rose outside the window I never heard of someone breaking fourth wall to get into a cartoon. I'm just full of surprises, aren't I?

2. Bedside Company

A/N: I will start romance NAO!

Chapter 2

Bedside Company

I woke up at around seven in the morning. Fluttershy said that I really twisted my left ankle, but a few days of rest should fix it. I laid there for most of the day, just listening to my music. It was three in the afternoon when I heard hoof steps coming up the stairs. I figured it was just Fluttershy checking in on me, so I was surprised when Rarity walked in.

"Rarity? What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at the boutique?" I asked.

"I had some time off, so I'd thought I'd come see you."

I smiled. "That's very kind of you."

She walked over and sat on the edge of the bed. I laid myself back down, and she scooted herself closer to me. I saw her blush a small amount. "Jacob?"

"Hmm?" She seemed uncertain about her next sentence.

"Do you have a special somepony?"

I started to feel my cheeks warm up. "No, Rarity, I don't, nor have I ever had a special someone."

She seemed shocked at this. "Well, that can't be right. Somepony as nice and handsome as you..."

"Believe me Rarity, most girls at my school want to run me through with sharp metal objects, and they constantly remind me of it. They do NOT think me nice or handsome."

JShe seemed appalled at what I was describing, and she nuzzled up next to me. Her fur felt like silk.

"Oh, you poor thing! Nopony should ever feel that way!"

I smiled, and told her "When they say something mean, I just sing this song."

I pulled out my IPod and fixed an earbud in her ear. I played the Portal theme song, Still Alive. I told her "Just sing along with it."

This was a triumph.

I'm making a note here: HUGE SUCCESS.

It's hard to overstate my satisfaction.

Aperture Science. We do what we must, because we can.

For the good of all of us, except the ones who are dead.

But there's no sense crying over every mistake.

You just keep on trying till you run out of cake.

And the science gets done, and you make a neat gun

For the people who are stil alive.

I'm not even angry.

I'm being so sincere right now.

Even though you broke my heart and killed me,

And tore me to pieces,

And threw every piece into a fire.

As they burned, it hurt because

I was so happy for you.

Now these points of data make a beautiful line.

And we're out of beta, we're releasing on time.

So I'm glad I got burned. Think of all the things we learned

For the people who are still alive.

Go ahead and leave.

I think I prefer to stay inside.

Maybe you'll find someone else to help you.

Maybe Black Mesa.

That was a joke, haha, fat chance.

Anyway, this cake is great.

It's so delicious and moist.

Look at me, still talking, when there's science to do.

When I look up there, it makes me glad I'm not you.

I've experiments to run, there is research to be done

On the people who are still alive.

And believe me, I am still alive.

I'm doing science and I'm still alive.

I feel fantastic and I'm still alive.

While you're dying, I'll be still alive.

And when you're dead, I'll be still alive.

Still alive.

Still alive.

We stopped singing. She looked at me and said "You have good taste in music."

I chuckled. "Then I'm the only one."

She looked like she wanted to say something, but she couldn't bring herself to say it.

"Rarity?"

"Yes, darling?"

"You look like you have something on your mind." She blushed furiously.

It then dawned on me, why she asked her first question. It fit together now.

"Rarity, we're you looking to ask me out?" She looked away, but nodded.

"I'm sorry I offended you, dear." she mumbled as she began to slide off the bed. I put my hand on her back and said

"Now what would give you that silly idea? Me, offended to be asked out by one of the most beautiful mares in all of Equestria?"

This next part I said with her accent. "That would be the WORST. POSSIBLE. THING!"

She laughed. "You really do know about us dear, don't you?" I nodded.

"So, you would not be offended by a date with me?" She asked tentatively. I put both my arms around her and hugged her.

"Quite the opposite, actually." I said in her ear. She returned the hug, and slid off the bed.

"So, darling, it's a date?"

"It's a date." I echoed.

A Day In Ponyville

Chapter 3

A Day In Ponyville

I woke up to the birds chirping around Fluttershy's house. She had given me a wooden cane with a carved handle so I could get around easier and left it by my bed. I got into the bathtub, which kind and loving Fluttershy had already filled and heated, and washed up thoroughly. After drying off, I went downstairs where Fluttershy was making pancakes. I couldn't believe I was going to taste her cooking. I sat down, and bit into a pancake, and it was amazing. It was fluffy, light, and smooth all at once.

"Oh, wow! Fluttershy, these are amazing!"

She smiled. "Oh, they're just pancakes."

I looked at her very seriously. "No... These... Are the pancakes... OF THE GODS!" I stated in an overly dramatic voice.

She hid behind her mane, afraid at me for raising my voice.

  I thanked her and left for town.

I walked through town, and found many ponies were setting up stands and food carts, while others were washing windows, mixing lawns, whatever. Those who noticed me didn't run away in fear. I guess after the Zecora incident, nopony judged another at first glance anymore. That's when I heard an all too familiar whizzing sound behind me.

I sidestepped as I heard whiz beside me "INCOMING!"

I looked at the rainbow colored tangle of legs at my feet, and burst out laughing.

Rainbow looked up and asked "What's so funny?"

I stopped laughing and stated "I can even predict your crash landings!"

She got up and said "Very funny."

She then lowered her eyes and said "Hey Jacob, sorry for the other night, with getting in your face."

I waved it off and responded "Ah, it's fine. Besides, yesterday went well. I have a date with Rarity tonight."

She smiled and nudged me with her elbow. "Jacob, you sly dog you!"

She called as I walked away "Pinkie wants to see you at Sugarcube Corner at three! You know why!" She said with a grin.

I smiled back and continued walking. I looked at the clock tower, noon. I had a few hours to kill, and decided to tour the town.

I walked for about twenty minutes, and as I walked by the school house, the fillies were just being released for recess. Being thirteen, my hours are much longer at school. I twirled my cane and continued walking. That's when I heard crying. I looked over and saw a gray filly with a blonde mane being teased by Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon. I don't like being teased, so I walked over and heard what they were saying.

"Your mother is such an idiot! Just look at her eyes!" Diamond teased.

"She can barely hold her job!" Silver added.

That was enough. I walked over and slammed the bottom of my cane between the filly and Diamond and Silver.

I glared down at Diamond and Silver. "Do you know what I do to mean fillies?"

They backed up and asked "Wh-what?"

I decided to use Cupcakes on them. "Let's just say they're great to have for dinner."

They seemed to relax, and Diamond said "You take them to dinner?"

I bared my teeth devilishly. "I don't think you understand."

That seemed to get it to click. They held each other and screamed.

I bent down and whispered "Run."

They bolted so fast, I was sure they weren't coming back for a while. I turned around and saw the filly cowering in fear of me. I bent down and said "Relax, kid. I was just messing with them. Say, you're Dinky Doo, right?"

She gulped and nodded. I put my hand on her head and said "I think you're mother is amazing. I envy her that she can juggle so many responsibilities. Tell her I would love to try one of her muffins."

She lit up and smiled. She tackle hugged me, and I hugged her back. She ran off to some other fillies, and I got up and kept walking. I realized I really liked that kid.

I found my way to Ponyville Park, and sat down on a bench. I saw a sea-green unicorn look at me, jump and shout "EUREEKA!" and run off. Lyra had discovered a human, me.

I got back up, and walked over to the edge of Whitetail Wood. I looked around, and saw three fillies trying out lassos. They only succeeded in tying themselves up. I chuckled, walked over, and untied them. They looked at me, then each other.

They unanimously shouted "CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS MONSTER CATCHERS!", and then Sweetie Belle tackled my leg, the messed up one. It hurt like hell. I went down on my other knee and grabbed her and pushed her back.

"Seriously, do you not see the bandages?!" I asked, lifting up the leg of my pants. She seemed to be sad that she hurt me, and looked down at the ground with tears forming in her eyes. "I'm... I'm sorry..." She burst into tears, and I did the only thing I could think of. I pulled her into a hug and sung softly.

Hush now, quiet now.

It's time to lay your sleepy head.

Hush now, quiet now,

It's time to go to bed.

Drift, drift off to sleep,

Exciting day behind you.

Drift, drift off to sleep,

Let the fun of dream land find you.

She was sleeping softly in my arms. I am right-handed, so I cradled her with my right arm while I grabbed my cane with my left arm.

The other two looked at me, and Applebloom asked "Who are ya?"

"My name is Jacob, Applebloom. I'm friends with Applejack."

She looked shocked. "How do ya know our names?"

I chuckled and said "I planned on explaining that at Pinkie's surprise party for me today at three."

They appeared shocked that I knew of the surprise party. I walked past them and carried the sleeping Sweetie Belle over to the boutique, the speechless fillies in tow, and knocked on the door with my cane. "I'm coming!" Rarity said in her sing-song voice.

She opened the door. "Goodness, what happened?"

"She touched my injured leg, and she was crying because she hurt me. So... I sung her to sleep."

She smiled, and took Sweetie Belle with her magic. She went upstairs to put Sweetie Belle to bed. I looked at the town hall's clock, 2:50. I walked over to Sugarcube Corner, opened the door, and flicked on the lights.

"SURPRISE!"

I don't know how, but all six were in the bakery at the moment, even Rarity.

Pinkie bounded up and said "Hi, Jacob! I threw this party just for you! Though you already knew that, didn't you? Of course you do!"

I smiled and walked over to Rarity. "Wanna sing?"

She said "Well, I suppose, but only if it's a duet."

I nodded, and we walked over to Vinyl Scratch, who was set up with a kareoke station near the kitchen.

I asked "Got kareoke?"

"Yeah I do. Pick your poison."

I put my arm around Rarity and held her close. "Fly Me To The Moon by Brenda Lee."

Vinly said "Oh, a duet, huh? I'll put it on slow, you lovebirds."

The song came on slow. Pinkie dimmed all but the two lights above Rarity and I. We took our microphones, closed our eyes, and went with the song.

Fly me to the moon,

And let me play among the stars.

Let me se what spring is like

On Jupiter and Mars.

In other words, hold my hand.

In other words, darling kiss me.

Fill my heart with song,

And let me sing forever more.

You are all I long for,

All I worship, and adore.

In other words, please be true.

In other words, I love you.

She had the most beautiful voice, smooth and steady. We sang until the song was completed. We looked at each other, and she did what I least expected at the time. She kissed me, and it sent my lips tingling, my mind reeling. She broke it, and we hugged. I could hear everypony around us going "D'awwww." at our moment. I couldn't have cared less about them. All I was thinking of was Rarity at that moment.

Then, Pinkie shouted "That's enough lovey-dovey, everypony! Now let's party!"

We looked at our friends, and blushed. We went over to the cake, and to my surprise, when I ate a piece, Pinkie had made vanilla cake instead of her usual chocolate, and I loved vanilla cake.

I thought to myself as I ate the cake 'Pinkie, how do you do it?'

I then remembered i promised to explain to them my knowledge. I called all six over, and I explained the brony community. I explained the show, the internet, the fanfictions, even the ones like 'Cupcakes', and the 'Ask the Character' tumblr pages. I didn't bother to sugarcoat it. Applejack would be able to tell, anyway. All but Pinkie Pie looked curious, appalled, and shocked all at once.

Pinkie yawned, and looked bored. I turned and said "Of course, Pinkie, you already know all this, so you can go party."

She got up and went to play Pin The Tail On The Pony.

Twilight looked at me and asked "How did Pinkie know what you did before you came here?"

I smiled at her and responded as I sipped some punch "How can Pinkie predict random events with nothing but random bodily convulsions?"

She grinned and stated "Touchè." before going off to get some cake.

A Night With Her

Chapter 4

A Night With Her

Twilight's POV

After everypony left the party, Twilight walked home, her belly was full of punch and cake. She tiredly opened the door with her magic and saw Spike reshelving some books.

He turned when he heard the door open. "Hey Twilight, how was the party?"

Twilight began climbing the stairs and answered "Awesome. Jacob and Rarity are really hitting it off."

Spike froze up, and with a look of anger creeping onto his face, slowly asked "What did you say?"

Twilight, tired and oblivious to Spike's anger, continued "They are so cute together! And those two can sing! They even kissed at the end of their song! Also, Jacob, get this, actually has some understanding of Pinkie Pie!"

Spike stopped listening after the word 'together'. He was fuming that someone would swoon HIS Rarity, HIS love. And to KISS HER? Oh, he was going to get it, whoever this 'Jacob' character was. He will regret ever coming to Ponyville....

My POV

Rarity and I left the party together, my footsteps and cane taps sounding in time with her hoofbeats. I suggested we go back to her boutique for the night, and she happily agreed. I opened the door and turned on the lights. We walked over to her living room and sat down on her luxuriously plush couch. We decided to ask each other about ourselves. I started.

"When did you sell your first dress?"

She thought for a minute. "About eight years ago. A stallion came in, looking for an anniversary gift for his wife. He saw the dress, and he bought it without a second thought. About two weeks later, I received a letter from the wife, thanking me for making such a lovely dress."

We laughed. She asked "What do you like to do in your spare time?"

I thought aloud "Let's see. Reading, chess, reading, go for walks, reading, chemistry.... Did I mention reading?"

She giggled, and stated "You and Twilight would have a field day."

I thought of Twilight's exteme obsession over discoveries, and stated "Nah, I think I'll stick with you." I kissed her cheek.

She smiled and blushed. I asked "How do you keep your place so organized with so many orders flying around?"

She took in a deep breath and stated "It's a habit, darling. I never procrastinate, never work on two or more orders at once, and ALWAYS work on the order with the closest due date."

She relaxed, and looked at me with those beautiful sapphire blue eyes. "Can we listen to some music?"

I smiled and scooted up next to her so we were touching. I put my arm around her and pulled out my IPod. I knew the perfect song to play. After placing the two earbuds,  I played I'm Yours by Jason Mraz. I sang and smiled as I leaned my head on hers.

Well you done done me, and you bet I felt it.

I tried to be chill, but you're so hot that I melted.

I fell right through the cracks, now I'm trying to get back.

Before the cool done run, out I'll be giving it my bestest.

And nothing's going to stop me but divine intervention.

I reckon it's again my turn to win some or learn some.

But I won't hesitate no more, no more.

It cannot wait, I'm yours.

Well open up your mind and see like me.

Open up your plans and damn you're free.

Look into your heart and you'll find love love love love.

Listen to the music of the moment people, dance and sing.

We're just one big family,

And it's our God-forsaken right to be loved loved loved loved loved.

So I won't hesitate no more, no more.

It cannot wait, I'm sure.

There's no need to complicate, our time is short.

This is our fate, I'm yours.

D-d-do do you, but do you, d-d-do

But do you want to come on

Scooch on over closer dear,

And I will nibble your ear.

(Scatting)

I've been spending way too long checking my tongue in the mirror,

And bending over backwards just to try to see it clearer.

But my breath fogged up the glass.

And so I drew a new face and I laughed.

I guess what I be saying is there ain't no better reason

To rid yourself of vanities and just go with the seasons.

It's what we aim to do, our name is our virtue.

But I won't hesitate no more, no more.

It cannot wait, I'm yours.

Come on and open up your mind and see like me.

(I won't hesitate)

Open up your plans and damn you're free.

(No more, no more)

Look into your heart and you'll find that the sky is yours.

(It cannot wait, I'm sure)

So please don't, please don't, please don't, there's no need.

(There's no need to complicate)

There's no need to complicate.

(Our time is short)

'Cause our time is short.

(This is our fate)

This is, this is, this is our fate.

I'm yours

Oh, I'm yours.

Oh, I'm yours.

Oh, whoa, baby you believe I'm yours.

You best believe, best believe I'm yours.

We looked into each other's eyes again and kissed. We fell asleep together on the couch.

The next morning, I found Rarity had already gotten up before me. I grabbed my cane and tested my foot. A day or two, and I should be walking normally. I would still probably carry the cane, though, I just have to. I couldn't just store away something Fluttershy gave me. I found Rarity in the kitchen cooking grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup. I looked at the clock, and saw it was twelve thirty in the afternoon.

I joked "We were out late last night, huh?"

She turned and said "It was worth it." with a loving smile.

I smiled and walked over. "Oh, totally."

She finished cooking and had already set the table beforehand. She served the sandwiches and soup, and we sat down to our lunch. As we ate, I got this nagging feeling that I forgot something, and when I usually forget something, it comes back to bite me in the ass, so I held the feeling, though I didn't let it show. Rarity said she would be busy with some dresses today, so she gave me a little spending money to use at the markets and stands. I walked outside, leaning less heavily on my cane as I walked, and headed over to the markets. I was looking for something worth buying, when I heard a voice quietly ranting behind me.

"Rarity....how could he.... Jacob... When I find him....."

I turned to see an angry-looking Spike walking along, fists clenched and a murderous look in his eyes. That's when it hit me. The thing I forgot was that Spike would not be very happy with Rarity loving somepony else.

I called to him "Hey! Spike, right?"

He turned and saw me. "Yeah, can I help you?"

I grinned knowingly and asked "You're looking for Jacob?"

He nodded and stated "You know where he is?"

I raised my right arm to be at my side, perpendicular with my body. "You're looking at him."

He lowered his eyebrows and ran at me. I sighed and raised the end of my cane, putting the bottom on his head and holding him at a distance.

I sighed again and lowered myself to his eye level. "Look, Spike, I know you have a crush on Rarity-"

At this he stopped struggling and shushed me. "That's a secret! How did you know?"

I rolled my eyes and stated "Dude, EVERYpony knows. It's pretty obvious."

He sighed and said "She's just so beautiful... And I care for her... I love her..."

I put my hand on his shoulder and stated "Spike, it's just a crush. You're not old enough to tell true love yet. Give it time."

He looked at me and nodded. He then stated "Pinkie Promise you'll be kind and caring to Rarity."

I smiled, stood up, and recited "Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye." performing the gestures as I did so. Spike appeared satiisfied and ran off. That's when I was knocked to the ground by something from behind. I got up, and saw a grey pegasus with a blonde main and tail and yellow eyes looking in two different directions. She smiled at me, and handed me a blueberry muffin, after which she flew off. That was her.

I thought to myself 'She's so beautiful.... but, AAGGH! WHAT AM I THINKING!?!?! I'M DATING RARITY, IDIOT!' I screamed at myself. I mentally slapped myself and ate the muffin, which was deliciously fluffy and fruity. A small amount of feeling for that pegasus had remained in the back of my mind, and I couldn't shake it, no matter what I did.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

Sorry to all the Sparity fans whose hearts I just broke. I will handle (and hopefully resolve) these moral dilemmas of love next chapter. Thanks for reading.

-Craterfist

Feelings

I got up the next morning, still staying at Fluttershy's cottage. I took a lovely hot bath, and as I soaked, I pondered over what I would do today, since Rarity still had dresses to make, Applejack didn't need any help today, Twilight was away in Canterlot for some kind of royal business, wait! Spike! He won't be busy today! I got out of the tub and dried myself off. I got dressed, grabbed my cane, even though I didn't need it, my foot was fine now, and headed out the door. I planned to just grab an apple from Applebloom's stand, since I was only mildly hungry. As I walked through town, the ponies still gave me odd looks, though thankfully none ran away in fear. I walked up to the stand, where Applebloom, contrary to our last encounter, was delighted to see me.

"Well, howdy Jacob! What can Ah do ya fer?" She asked politely.

I placed two bits on the table and answered "One apple please." She gave me a bright, juicy apple and waved goodbye to me as I walked off. Right then, I felt my foot catch on something, and I fell on my hands and knees. My apple, thankfully, was not mushed on impact, though it was bruised. I looked to my left to see the two fillies I hate the most standing in an alleyway, with Diamond holding the end of a long piece of nylon wire. Oh, I was planning revenge. I planned to unleash prank Hell on those fillies. With a new resolve, I headed to Sugarcube Corner, to strike a deal with the demon of pranks herself.

I entered the bakery and was assaulted with an amazing smell consisting of cupcakes, pies, and several kinds of cookies. Pinkie was pulling a pie out of the oven when she heard me open the door.

She turned and grinned. "Hi Jacob! Did you want something?"

I looked her sternly in the eye and stated "I need a prank done."

She took on a serious look as well and asked simply "Who?"

"Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon."

"What kind of prank?"

"Doesn't matter."

"When?"

"Anytime today. They need to learn a lesson."

She grinned evilly and pulled out a contract with an ink pen. "Sign here please."

I read the contract over, and as payment for the prank, I was to help Pinkie bake tomorrow. I signed at the bottom of the paper. Pinkie snatched it up and stated "We have a deal..."

I grinned, bought a cupcake, and left. I wandered around town for a few minutes longer, when I heard the oh-so-satisfying scream of two fillies in the distance. Wow, Pinkie works fast. I ran over and saw Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon tied by their back hooves upside down, dangling by a rope from a tree, covered in chicken feathers. I undid the knots, and they dropped uncerimoniously to the ground. They stood up to find me laughing my head off at them.

I stated between laughs "You look rediculous!"

They looked annoyed at first, but then they asked in unison "You did this?!"

I lied and stated "Well, duh! That was for tripping me this morning. Now we're even. Let's leave it there." I got up and left, twirling my cane in my left hand. My payment would be given tomorrow, so I went over to the local music club. I entered to see a DJ playing a song unknown to me and spinning the disks occasionally with the beat. The others applauded when he was finished.

Since I was bored, I called up "Can I have a turn?"

I saw a familiar white unicorn with a blue mane and glasses walk up and gesture at the stage with the speakers. I walked up, found a two-way AC jack on the floor, and plugged my IPod into the speakers. I played the song Lazy Generation by The F-Ups.

I took a microphone and sang my heart out just for the heck of it.

we are the lazy generation

no more standing out in line

so good at wasting our time

we are the lazy generation

we are the lazy generation

we are the lazy generation

now

we are the lazy generation

we are the lazy generation

we are the lazy generation

now

stand up and shout

we wont be there for you

(hey hey hey hey hey hey lets go)

we are the lazy generation

they call us social mutations why

you can just drop dead and die

nothing we do ever seems to matter

just like shit on a silver platter shines

yeah you know just where we stand

stand up and shout

we wont be there for you

hey hey hey hey hey hey lets go

stand up and shout

we wont be there for you

hey hey hey hey hey hey lets go

we are the lazy generation

we are the lazy generation

we are the lazy generation

now

we are the lazy generation

we are the lazy generation

we are the lazy generation

now

stand up and shout

we wont be there for you

hey hey hey hey hey hey lets go

stand up and shout

we wont be there for you

hey hey hey hey hey hey lets go

we are the lazy generation

we are the lazy generation

we are the lazy generation

we are the lazy generation

now

NOW!

I looked around to see every pony in the room staring, mouths agape. Then one white unicorn with an electric blue mane and red glasses walk up and said "Yo, your not so bad for a..... A....... Whatever-you-are." She turned and stated "Give the dude some love!"

With that, I was applauded and cheered for seven, eight, nine different ways in that one club. Not one to hold the lime light for long, I bowed and exited with my IPod.

As I left, I thought about what I could do to earn some bits, considering I was, at this point, mooching off other ponies. I decided to check out the Quills and Sofas store, to see if I couldn't find some form of employment. As I walked through town to the store, I wondered how the shop owner would react to me, that is, I can't tell if he's seen me yet. If he hasn't, this may lead to an awkward conversation.